#man it hasn't even been a year
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2024 Hungarian GP | x (edited)
#daniel ricciardo#autumn posts#the (edited) is quite unnecessary as it is most readily apparent lol but!!#I tried to rotate it 45 degrees ish and my lack of photo editing skills leaves much to be desired#anyways arm ����💫❤️✨#I fear I'll be in a perpetual state of missing him#but I'll be savoring memories of him like light from a star still reaching earth years after its gone out 🌠#also that's overly dramatic hehe a new journey awaits!!! and I will be excited if he wants to share it with us!!!#until then I'll be blogging like its 2017 at times hehe#omg I was looking up top 2017 tracks and man there were some bangers that year 👏😎#okay nostalgia trip over I've been meaning to write but tbh I got myself all needlessly stressed!!#2025 is the year of not adding so much undue stress on myself - it's keeping me from flying!!!#also 2025 goals include drinking more water and less coffee 😒 sigh hehe#hope everyone has a very wonderful last day of the year!!!!#enjoying time with friends or fam or favorite hobbies ❤️#off to another chapter!! I hope good things are in store!!! 🎁🎉✨❤️#also if you read this far then hello and also my silliest yearning is Dan comes in to replace Liam in the summer#even tho RBR does Not deserve him and the stress of the sport with travel and media scrutiny are so much#retiring at 35? a dream!! but I do wonder what the vibe will be like after DTS drops#it feels like a proper goodbye had yet to come...idk#I'm still excited for Carlos and Max and Lewis and new faves too but#ahh I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said before#and he himself said he's done!!! so! c'est la vie#not goodbye but see ya later (in supercars or as a globetrotting dashing sponsor or just kickin it on the farm)#I'm at peace with all for the most part!!! but I'll be missing what could've been all the same#anyways I should go touch some grass! I'll be back soon!!#thank you everyone for all the kind tags my heart is like 💖💞💓💗💕!!!!#I appreciate this space and y'all so much ❤️❤️❤️ onto another year together!!#many more memories to make!!!
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MUTUALS. COME WITH ME TO THE FUCKED UP DREAM VENOM CHURCH...
#so much to say here. first off. as miffy pointed out. the venom stained glass.#second off. reliving the moment. gun in his fucking hand.#i came here to say goodbye to god.#the sheer insanity of the conceit of his character origin... a man who was a catholic and was going to kill himself and went to a church...#eddie brock so scared forever of being alone that even in committing the ultimate sin he went to a church to be with god.#eddie brock sending himself to hell but he can't do it by himself. hasn't been to church in years but came to say goodbye to god...#staring dead-eyed into the abyss rn#how do i get here. and will they hold the fucked up mass that i'm imagining#venomposting#venom#venom 2018#pinned post archive
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I'm just gonna say it again real quick:
Yes!! Iron Man is a tragedy! It has and always has been since the very first appearance in 1963 which describes itself, Tony's life, and legacy, as such.
Tony causes most of his issues himself, he is his biggest villain, a majority of his rogues gallery are caricatures of the worst versions of himself brought to life (when they're not just being racist cuz...60s...). The worst thing about being Tony Stark is that he can't stop being Tony Stark (he tried!!) That is the point.
The majority of pain Tony goes through, is pain he inflicts on himself, whether intentionally or inadvertently. That is the point.
He is not A villain (at least. Not usually. There are...some rough moments and arcs that are. Not great. As there is with any character as old as he is). But he is his own main antagonist.
#I—just—*slams fists on floor*—I WANNA PUT HIM IN A PIETRI DISH AND VIOLENTLY SHAKE HIM#tony stark#iron man#616 tony stark#marvel#marvel comics#*screams cries throws up* IT'S NOT HIS FAULT HIS CHARACTER WAS ASSASSINATED IN 2005 IN A WAY THAT HASN'T BEEN RECOVERED FROM YET#***starts openly weeping*** if the next main IM series is bad it'll have been 20 years of this shit make it STOOOOOP#being his own antagonist! his actions and mental state and poor judgement calls reaonates with people!!#I'm wildly under qualified to talk about this stuff but#I feel like that's *why* people with mental health issues. self esteem issues. addiction issues. flock to him.#he is not a BAD person. he is a person. who makes mistakes. and devastates himself. and even leaves himself half dead sometimes.#who doubts himself. is simultaneously oversensitive and alarmingly oblivious. he is a mess. that is a fundamental requirement of being him#that. resonates with people. it's *relatable*. Tony Stark is a lightning rod of interest for people...like him. hurting. sad. desperate.#and he brings *enjoyment*. he brings jokes. comfort.#he brings hope#because if a guy like *that* can be *iron man*...maybe we'll all be ok too#it's solidarity but also it's a kick in the right direction. it's saying ''it's ok that this is how you feel. I'm right there with you.''#''but you can't stay here forever. we always need to try''#Iron Man is and always has been about the future. after all.
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I am going to start flopping on people if the dbd fandom falls to the poison of misogyny. If I see a single person hating Crystal just because she's a woman within proximity to a mlm ship I'm starting a petition to not get season 2 I swear.
Genuinely I absolutely fear for the tsunami of hate I anticipate most of the women in that show getting because how DARE a show marked LGBT+ and with queer men main characters also prominently feature women.
#don't act like this hasn't happened in so many other fandoms#i love Dead Boy Detectives so dearly#and Crystal isn't even my favorite character#but the fans...#the fucking wannbe fujoshi liberals of Tumblr better not get their hands on this#i am saying this as a gay man who has been in fandom for years#dead boy detectives
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whenever i read a fic and shanks doesn't mention buggy even once it always feels soo ooc bc like what do you mean shanks isn't vibrating with the need to see buggy at all times??? at the very least, shanks should be thinking about buggy passively, if not actively. like buggy lives that man's mind rent fucking free. buggy should be charging appearance fees for how often shanks thinks of him. like all it would take is one (1) denden call, where buggy shaky voiced goes "shanks... please... i need you" and shanks would be hauling ass across the grand line to get to buggy
#like this is shanks' Person#even if they haven't properly talked in years#buggy will always be shanks' Person#their fates are so far beyond intertwined. it's entangled now. knotted. they're locked in#bc like this is buggy. shanks' buggy. this is the boy he thought he was gonna go through puberty with. they were supposed to get pimples#together. they were supposed to be co-captains. they were supposed be together no matter what.#there was never a future in shanks' mind where he and buggy where separated except now they are#buggy leaves him in the rain at loguetown and he loses himself in the bottom of a bottle and then he blinks and it's been almost a decade#and a half since he and buggy have been in the same room#where'd all the time go? this wasn't how he saw his future going.#it echoes like a refrain in his head whenever something important happens and he turns his head to look for a blue haired man#only to realize that buggys not there and hasn't been there in years#and everytime his heart sinks and the mean voice in his head that hasnt shut up since loguetown goes: we were supposed to do this together#whatever. he needs another drink.#buggy the clown#buggy one piece#op buggy#akagami no shanks#shanks one piece#op shanks#shanks x buggy#shuggy#one piece
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Should I ignore Man or should I hear him out
#he sent me some song rec on spotify and i dont even use spotify. so to entertain him id have to pull it up#completely independently... and THEN go through the labor of entertaining him by formulating a response to whatever the hell it is#what is with him lately? doesn't he know i have a silly work crush that i only talk about passively in tumblr posts#it's funny bc with Man i had the same exact sorta silly crush on him like 5 years ago#when he seemed completely unattainable to me but he hasn't been that for a long time#he's so disgustingly human! admittedly rather pretty though#this guy if you follow the Man saga on britneyshakespeare dot tumblr dot com used to be a model like 10 years ago#he retired years before i knew him#i met him through poetry and he's written some good stuff but he's really rather silly#perhaps i reject him solely on the grounds that he genuinely admires me#to some extent. and not entirely incorrectly but often a little bit incorrectly.#i think he idealizes women. not just me#also he used to talk to me about other girls!!!!!!! lmao#stupid Man#tales from diana#all this instead of opening up the link he sent me. wow im funny#maybe i should tell him about work crush and pay him back for hearing about those dalliances he had when i was 21#nah i wont do that. im more of a gentleman than him lol
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not to be dramatic but will I ever know peace
#will i????????#i taught this boy to waltz. i taught this boy to communicate his emotions. i taught this boy to not be afraid of vulnerability and honesty.#not to take credit for it ALL but i DID teach him some things and i know because he sure as heck did not do those things before#maybe i should get a t shirt for this. i made it through heartbreak number 3 and all i got was this shirt#not to besmirch his good name but this boy hasn't got a CLUE y'all i can't even tell you#in the same conversation he essentially said yeah you're too old for me and im not attracted to you but if you were a few years younger i'd#consider it he also said. also you're really pretty you smell really good if you want someone to dance with i'm here#and there's this dress you wore before which you look really good in so you should wear it again!#and it has been a roller coaster ever since#genuinely has NOT got a single clue i can tell he was trying hard in that conversation to not freak out but MAN#at risk of sounding self righteous i don't think i deserved half the stuff that's happened since!
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Just saw this comment on a story posted a month ago.
*cries in Eddie Munson Solo Series no one wanted to read, interact with or request for*
No shade to the person that commented this on their own fic if you recognize it. It's not their fault. I'm not mad at them. More crying in the tags.
#and no I didn't tag the solo series like I normally would because it's not about THAT. It's not about trying to get people to read it#It was just really ouchie to see the same concept I wrote 2 years ago get triple the notes in ONE MONTH.#and double the notes of my solo series masterlist in general in one month vs 2 years of my stories sitting there rotting#Then I see people saying they need more solo Eddie and I'm just here like my dudes I begged for requests. BEGGED. But bc I wasn't#/have never been a popular writer people don't want it from ME. It's like omg we want THIS but not like that. Not from you.#Can't help but let it get you down when nothing has changed in 2 years. It's not like I worked my way up and have the interaction now#that every other blog I used to commiserate with back in the day is getting currently. Fandom isn't a competition but it's not fair either#and I really struggle with that a lot of the time#Also yes I will concede I should be happy with the notes on the solo series because they are the highest of all the work on my page but#they're still nothing compared to what some people have just hours after posting a new story.#I saw someone complaining the other day that there are less new stories in the fandom than ever 1. That's simply not true. 2. Even if it wa#can you blame writers for giving up when readers are checking the same popular blogs over again or reading the same 5 tropes the same#2 pairings over and over. The same series? Over and over. Ignoring everything else and then complaining that their faves don't post enough?#That the popular writer with the incredible series (that rightfully deserves interaction) hasn't posted a new dad!eddie or rockstar!eddie#drabble in ages meanwhile there are writes out there pouring their souls into dad!eddie and no one reads it. There is so much rockstar Eddi#smut out there that it could sustain a brand new reader for an entire year before they needed a new fic#Idk man. I'm just feeling so defeated. I write for fun now. But there was a point in time where I desperately tried to build a platform by#offering requests and writing a lot of things I would not otherwise write to try and gain traction on my page and every time I see another#food fucking fic get hundreds of notes I get so sad that I wrote that stupid Melon fic because I had people in my life that told me#they would be excited to read it and for what? One of them still talks to me. The others moved on so fast. Most didn't even reblog it.#Some of them have since written their own food fucking fics that got triple the notes of my OG. Again. No shade to them. I don't own the#concept. It's just disheartening and fucking sad above all else. How hard I tried to get people to LIKE me and my stories. 😂#Just sad hours in general tonight my guys. Going to go and pour the bad feelings into Aftermath and then maybe make a bad life choice and#pour all my savings into an ipad#YES I KNOW first world problems. I know. That's why I try not to talk about it bc it seems so petty considering the state of the world#But you can't help what gets you down#EMMs Journal#EMM's Journal
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May I ask for married lizards head cannons (Dragon x Crocodile)
Unfortunately, honestly, I don't really have Dragodile headcanons at all, mainly because we know so little about Dragon it's kind of hard for me to imagine what he'd be like in a relationship with anyone, let alone with the meanest reptile on the planet
Aside from Dragon being the worst lay Crocodile ever had but to be fair that is at least 38% a joke headcanon
#Moon posting#Asks#OP Meta#Dragodile#When your husband has had the honor of having a dick for 34 years and still hasn't figured out how to actually use it#🐊''Do I need to get one myself just to show you how it's done''#🐉 ''You prommy? 🥺👉👈''#There is something extremely funny about Crocodile being so mean and the idea that Dragon was INTO that#Although I often suggest that Dragon might be just plain straight- mainly because I can't imagine Oda making Gay Dragodile canon#There is something very interesting to me about the idea that Crocodile could've been Dragon's Bisexual Awakening#But he never understood that at the time. And by the time he realized he was still into Croc even as a man like. The Divorce had happened#(And if The Divorce had been bad... Could it have been partially due to Dragon's own internalized homophobia?)#And IDK I think that could lead into some interesting story directions but. Alas. Again. Can't imagine it happening#Like I can imagine Oda giving Luffy not just two dads but making one of them trans#I can't imagine Oda giving us not just a canon gay couple but making them the protagonist's own parents#Like I don't want to entertain the thought too much because knowing it'd never happen would just make me sad lol
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gonna get back to writing in a bit. Gonna draw some stuff first brb. 👍 Johan brain rot is taking on in a different form.
#i mentioned somewhere here but I am actually a fanartist LMAOO. Writing is very very new and very very scary for lil ol' me.#I've made fanart but i never made fanfic. and I respect authors all the more now like....THEY'VE BEEN USING THIS MUCH BRAIN POWER?? THIS WH#-OLE TIME???? GOD.#i feel ashamed because i never wrote fanfic for even my fav characters of all time (moreso than johan even). And now i'm writing for blondi#-over here who hasn't even been in my brain for more than a year 💀 man is getting special privileges. Also because ofc i've been starving f#-or johan content for half a year now.#suusoh speaks
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Hnngg
#im so stressed ughhhhh#this divorce is gonna end me man though im probably stressing out over nothing AGAIN#like tomorrow my dad's bringing some expert to the house to put a price on the house#and i literally have no idea whatever that's gonna be how we are gonna pay that shit lmaoo#also i just really don't wanna be there or be with them in the same house god i hate it when they're near each other#i am..... going through it more than i probably should since I'm an adult now n stuff but whatever#it's not like i can just stop feeling all this distress and grief n shit especially since he's already found a girlfriend#with kids and stuff and they've already been going to my grandparents ughhh i feel thrown away you know#it hasn't even been a year it's pissing me off so badly#i feel like killing myself every time i think about tomorrow and then I feel even worse when i think about later ughhh#i shouldn't be so distressed i really shouldn't#especially since I've been living my life on an incredible streak of luck so.#whateverrrrr#uhh like comment and subscribe#vent#i just gotta. cause there isn't anyone here i can really talk to since#everyone sees this so much more differently and sis is just always telling me im making it into something bigger than it is#but it's really stressing me out#idk i fear this is not gonna end nicely I don't even see him anymore#and it literally hasn't even been a year but he's not really talking to me but at the same time i don't really#feel like talking to him either so who knows uhh..
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can't tell if my newfound desire to seek reconciliation with every patriarchal authority in my life is a sign I'm healing + maturing or that I'm worse off than ever
#bolo speaks#getting interested in christianity at about the same time I start considering speaking to my father again... it's almost metaphorical......#to be clear wrt to my father the thing is I know he's not safe to be around. I don't expect him to be. I know he hasn't gotten better#(either personally or in how he treats other people)#but I feel less concerned with that. it's been years and I've reached a point where I'm over it or at least I'd like to be.#I really cannot stress the amount of time I've spent inconsolably crying over this man and frankly at this point#even I don't consider it worthwhile anymore.#could I really achieve some deep catharsis by meeting with him? or at least the removal of a long-held weight?#could I have that if I go in expecting nothing?#are endless grief or continuing to be abused *really* my only two options?
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hate my sister's shitty good for nothing boyfriend. can you imagine being a 30yo man with two kids who won't even scramble an egg. Not for his kids, not for his girlfriend, not for himself. literally if my sister doesn't leave out pre-made meals when he's watching the kids he will rip up bread or pour them dry cereal or open a granola bar and make himself microwave dinners. like, lowest effort possible. but if i mention this to my sis, she'll be like "no he's definitely cooked for the kids! he scrambled an egg for them once! i watched him do it!" but it's like...so he scrambled one egg in the last five years. just to like, prove he can? at your direct insistence? should we all clap? like seriously. hate this guy. had to really hold back recently because he had someone over and he was interacting with the kids more than usual for appearances, and he had to keep asking me and my sis what the 5yo was signing because he barely bothered to learn his own son's primary form of communication. i was so tempted to say "that one means 'go home' but you wouldn't know that because you don't take them anywhere." so hard to hold that in. If I had to describe this man in two words they would be these: Low Effort. Not quite bare minimum, but JUST enough to convince my sister that it would be too much hassle to get rid of him. he's stupid as fuck, but just smart enough to quickly stop shit like screaming obscenities at the kids for doing normal kid things. and he once stomped on my headphones and broke them in a fit of rage, but gave my sister money to replace them so it was "fine." Like, my sister thinks that he's just struggling with his anger issues, because he had a bad childhood, blah, blah, and oh he would never actually hurt her or the kids. and like, good for you, but i don't trust like that. genuinely hoping he gets struck by lightning and dies instantly.
#my sister and i do all the hard stuff and most of the easy stuff too tbh#cooking and cleaning and sorting out benefits and insurances and getting the kids to school and events#doctor's appointments and medications and dentist appointments and taxes#we get the groceries and care for all the pets and kids and household things#we both have jobs#i actually have 3 jobs#good for nothing boyfriend makes $12 a year plus some under the table cash as a “private trainer”#which means between that and selling his plasma and borrowing money from his mom he can...pay his super cheap tiny part of rent#and occasionally hand my sister like $20#he doesn't buy groceries or diapers or household supplies or clothing or toys or literally anything#literally the only household chore he does is fold laundry#that's it. and it's not “DO” laundry. it's just folding the clean and dry stuff#you know. the chore my parents would have us do when we were like 10 so we'd feel helpful#the 5yo is medically complex and we frequently make trips to a slightly distant hospital with him#and they literally asked us to stop bringing my sister's boyfriend along because he was disruptive and confusing#which was a polite way to say 'obnoxious and stupid as shit'#do you know how many times in one visit w/the same doctor he would ask 'so when does he get superpowers?'#he also obviously didn't know how to answer basic questions like 'how many times does he poop a day on average'#and 'how often has he been eating and what has he been eating day to day?'#like bro this man can go days without changing a diaper and will not even heat up a can of spaghettios to feed his own kids#he cannot answer those questions with any kind of accuracy#also i'm saying boyfriend because my sister desperately wanted to at least be engaged so she could say fiance in front of ppl#but just like marriage this was apparently a 'waste of effort'#not even the cheapest ring or the most underwhelming proposal or a courthouse wedding was worth his energy so...#yeah glad she hasn't married this waste of air. and i'll be praying for that lightning strike
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anyone wanna drive with me out to the land behind my dad's house and lay in my car under the night sky and have a chat
#thinkin of car conversations man....the car is one of the most intimate places i think#the kitchen is as well.#used the have them a lot w my mom but ermmmm no. but i haven't had a friend good enough to have those types of convos with#sigh......i miss deep convos with friends. that was such a 13 year old thing for me. what happened after that man#also it just fully hasn't been warm enough recently even if i could#dude it's may can it be warmer than 40 yet😭😭
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"I didn't really raise either of you in a gendered way" When I was like 10 or 11 maybe 12 but definitely not 13 yet, one day you asked me if I wanted to try on the wedding dress you married my dad in. I liked playing dress up and I liked hanging out with you, so I said yes. We're in the living room that you would (already have?) marry my stepdad in. You button up the back of the dress, I don't know why this becomes a core memory. You married my stepdad in a sundress, very casual, very small "event", only the barest of minimum people required to officiate and witness the wedding were there. You tell me, "Maybe one day, when you get married, you can wear this dress. Oh, but you don't have to if you don't want to! But, do you want it?" I still have the dress. I'm a man. And I don't think I'll ever marry. "You can get rid of it, you won't hurt my feelings." I can't.
#i literally like. have such a chip in my shoulder about marriage it's unreal.#it's like. i don't even have the extreme fundamentalist excuse. everything was presented as a 'choice' or a 'suggestion'#but like. somehow. i still extrapolated Something from that. what you expect from me. what you want for me.#and as i got older. it became increasingly clear that i would never be able to. be anywhere close to that.#i don't know. i don't know why i'm just. going through it rn.#i don't know if it's cause i haven't seen her in a long time. fucked up but i think it's been a year if not longer.#she hasn't seen my piercings yet. that's how long it's been.#and like. i had such an intense one sided rivalry like. posturing myself as the better son bc#i'm the one who stayed when i had every fucking reason to leave. and. comparitively.#he has valid emotional reasons but i'm the faggot. i'm the tranny. you are and always have been the golden boy.#and you have NEVER lived up to it. and there are reasons. but you still get more humanity than i ever will.#even though objectively like you just fucked up. so much. so badly. at every turn.#idk i need to stop talking about it. but like. ever since it finally seemed like he's getting divorced#from. like. like. okay fine while i'm at it. it would have been FINE if you just fucked off had a kid got married#like. i COULD accept that and be happy for you. if NOT for the fucking fact that you ended up in.#just. a horrible horrible relationship where the poor kids you brought into the world were not safe.#and you are not free from guilt either.#man i really just. i need to fuck off for real.#but he's been living w my mom w his kids. and you know what. i feel like i'm free from my duties.#mom is occuied w one of her kids and her grandkids now. i know they may be exposed to psychological damage#but physically. they are safe. and god. is it naive. to hope that make he can reconcile w her.#not as a responsibility but like. he needed it. badly.#not like i'm ever gonna get the reconciliation i need. not that i even want it.#like. as a person. i just don't like him.
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(｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡
#Alright I got tragically interrupted while watching it but I'm finally finished watching the episode!!#It's really really good both the animation and drawings are very detailed compared to the rest of the anime but...#The pace is so off :((( Like it's not the end of the world but ugh. It's unfortunate...#So many things just don't hit off as deeply because everything is moving so fast all the time and there's no time to process anything.#They won't allow you one second for the last line of a scene to sink in that the next scene's ost is already playing.#And like it's not even the worst crime an anime can commit I guess but still...#I wish they didn't. Like rather than make a 13 episodes season and squeeze the Sky Casino arc in merely two episodes it would have been–#a lot better to finish the season at the previous episode and make 12 episodes out of everything (so that everything could be better paced)#Like yeah maybe it's not the best season ending that there can be but... It's not terrible either‚ you have Atsushi saying the line–#“there's still hope” and the season ending there‚ that's pretty cool#I don't know why everyone feels like they have to rush all the time.#Guys do I have to be the one to remind you you make more money if more season come out.#Like how can the knowledge of Sigma being made by the book have any kind of impact when we've only known him for ten minutes.#Teruko's looking mad AND looking cutesy AND blowing up the landing zone didn't have the same comedic effect they did in the manga because..#It just happened all together! There's no time to process anything. Or maybe I'm just slow idk but I mean YOU GOTTA–#MAKE TIME FOR THE OPENING AND ENDING IN THE EPISODE c'mon man#Sorry I'm complaining it's actually good. I really really love Teruko & Tachihara. Jouno too!!!#I liked the Tahihara spotlight this episode... It's so cute to see what he's like when he's not acting– well‚ not completely I guess#Mmmmhhh.#Yesterday I read an interesting post on how a lot of early dc/mk wouldn't work today because the technology of the world has changed SO muc#I think a similar reflection can be made for the doa terrorist plot. Countries are pushing towards a complete digital money transition.#In 50 years or so coins may not be circulating anymore and today already the impact of this terrorist plot would be a lot smaller–#compared to when the chapters were coming out. I think#Well. Nice episode! Forward to next week! If tomorrow's manga chapter hasn't killed me before that#random rambles
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