#and i just cleared 1 of them
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girlivealwaysbean · 2 months ago
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can someone tell me how to keep going if your hardwork does pay off but you don't feel anything when you achieve your goal just relief and numb again
#ive been having a bad week again since the exam ugh😭#im really really REALLY trying to study but a little head in my voice keeps saying what is even the point of working so hard#which is soooo ridiculous because it's bc i worked so hard that i got great marks#but like. i didn't feel happy like i thought would. i just felt like 'oh. okay. cool'#and then i just. didn't even have anyone around me to celebrate with#which is idk kinda dumb i guess it's just an online exam#but like see. there are technically total 8 exams to become. um to get my degree#and i just cleared 1 of them#like that was a full 100 marks paper i studied for of that level and i did it#ive just never done this before not since this course ive always scored JUST above passing (not counting the times#i literally failed twice lol)#so yeah anyway it is big for me. but why doesn't it feel like anything 😭😭😭#and why hasn't this motivated me to work harder😭😭😭#idk i thought i had gotten over the 'just do it. just do it!!! just. do. it.' phase i was getting so many things done#but it feels back to square one now#man that book about habits was so right don't have goals have habits because when you do achieve your goal#you'll be like well now what? and slip right back into bad habits again#that's exactly what happened#i used to think lol achieve my goal that's never gonna happen im a shit person and a failure#but like what the hell!!! i did!!! so now what😭😭😭#i think i need a hug#but ive never really hugged anyone except one person and she's 4 years away now#i think i need. my dad to tell me he's proud of me. but he's already forgotten about it so that's not gonna happen#man the day i stop craving external validation. it's over for yall#ugh yuck i used to hate the word validation it always sounded so desperate and needy and pathetic. guess it was just#another form of self loathing lol#im not even sad im like genuinely asking. im trying to solve it like a math problem. like does anyone have the answer
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hinamie · 5 months ago
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alongside someone like you
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk 266#jjk leaks#i feel like i say this after every piece at this point but iam once again. SO TIRED#collapses dead#cries i did it again i ws up all last night finishing the first 1.....tht one took *counts* 8 hours...#got 3 hrs sleep n picked up where i left off on th second one at 8 in the morning#2nd one absolutely ruined me n made the third one feel like a herculean task . even tho its literally just them on a bed#rooms....KITCHENS......beloathed!!!! public enemy no1 kill on sight!!!!!!#hell is real and they make u render different rooms of houses from scratch no perspective tool no clue what ur doing#n they see how long it takes u to completely lose it#clipped yuujis bangs back tho n i thought tht was cute . silver linings#1ST ONE WAS SO FUN ALSO idk if its bc outdoor environments r forgiving or bc i had more energy n was fresh faced n hopeful or what#but it is by far my favourite. once again pulled out nearly every nature brush in my arsenal#third one meh simple safe soft w/e i was just so exhausted after th kitchen tht working on it was such a slog#oh ya i added a bunch of scars 2 yuuji's arms n lobbed off his ring finger sighs the yuuji injury list (tm) grows every minute#also HINA USE YELLOW CHALLENGE CLEAR golden hour in2 sunset my beloved <333 easy warm light + safe homey Peaceful vibes...bless#cries eternally thinking abt them let us have this let THEM have this pls thank u#ok i need to not look at these anymore take them enjoy my contribution 2 the domestic itfs pile
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viyojo · 5 months ago
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You're a kid now…🧍‍♂️still a kid now!
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The Buckley siblings’ endgame relationships both being best friends to lovers is soooo fitting.
These two siblings who grew up really only having each other as a support system. Who were beaten down literally, verbally, or neglectfully for so much of their lives. Who never had anyone fight for them the way they do for each other.
And then they find these two men. These two men who are part of their growing L.A. family. Who welcome them into their lives, who are as desperate for connection and for someone to see them as the Buckley siblings are. Who are unendingly gentle and supportive of the people they love, would never hurt the people they care about more than anything. These two men weasel their way into the Buckley siblings’ hearts until they can’t remember life without them by their side. Their family becomes the Buckleys’ family, and their sibling becomes these two men’s family too. They become a unit unto themselves, and their other family thinks of them as such. They’re partners in every sense of the word, but they were friends first. They have a foundation of mutual respect, trust, and joy, and their relationships can withstand any test.
There’s plenty of arguments for these two relationships never being just best friends, but Madney and Buddie certainly have spent time building their friendships into a relationship, and I adore that. Maddie and Buck having their best friends as their endgame makes so much sense because who could understand them better than their best friend? Who else could see every part of them, every hurting piece, and still love them so completely?
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mumuqings · 1 year ago
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tgcf book spoilers, but one mu qing and xie lian snippet that I think about a lot is this one, at the start of xie lian’s second banishment when he’s surprised to hear mu qing being described as generous and kind:
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as opposed to this memory from before his first ascension when mu qing started giving out cherries to the kids in the city:
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I think it just really goes to show 1) how deeply mq’s actions truly affected xl and what he thought of him, but also 2) just how different mq and xl are fundamentally in the way that they think and approach things.
I don’t have a lot of commentary on xl that hasn’t already been said, but bc we get the story from xl’s pov, we see a lot of mq’s actions being framed as selfish or suspicious (which is fair, bc again, we know how much his actions hurt xl), but we also see a lot of misconstrued kindness, like in book 8 where it’s revealed that he knocked out fx in order to save him. it’s also pretty obvious how much mq still cares abt xl, with how quickly he volunteers as fu yao and the lengths he goes to protect him when he deems hc a threat, so I also think it’s very likely that mq leaving the trio first was exactly what he said it was — that he thought becoming a junior official, ascending quickly, would be the best way to take care of not just his mother, but also xl, fx, the king and queen, and himself, and so in a way, him leaving was him acting on his kindness. but ofc it doesn’t work out, and he spends the next 800 years fighting w/ fx about it, defending himself, his decisions, and his kindness, and nitpicking the accuracies of his statues while he himself remains completely misunderstood by the two people he probably cares abt the most.
and idk, I guess I just think that’s probably a really lonely way to spend 800 years.
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somerandomcockroach · 6 months ago
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A large burning canvas could be seen in the distance.
The neat fingers, full of small dents from the friction of the sword handle, caught a small flame, which immediately went out from faint pressure.
There was silence, a living silence, one of those that strains with its sound. A warm wind heated his battered, but carefully polished armor.
"You want to say something"
"I want" Blurr answered, turning sharply to the dark silhouette behind him that was quietly watching him until now. He clenched his fist with a grinding sound, where the spark died out, and demonstratively opened it towards the darkness. "And this is how you are paid for making the world freer! This is what remains of your legacy, and you react as if it doesn’t concern you at all!"
"It does not concern me anymore" the figure answered him calmly.
"Shockwave, stop!"
"Is that an order?"
"It's a request” His angry expression made it clear that this request was an obligation. “I just don't recognize you for these few months." His hand shook slightly with anger. Black smoke seeped through the cracks in his armor.
"I don't recognize myself for even longer time." Blurr visibly trembled at these words, realizing where the dialogue was leading. Shockwave slowly approached, his long, deformed fingers, three times longer than one of Blurr's fingers, carefully reached out to his hand and wrapped his palms in his huge paws, kneeling down to be on the same level with him. "Blurr, I-"
Blurr turned his head away so as not to see one piercing, but such a swampy dim light of his terrifying eye, which had become more precious to him than his weekly knightly brigandage. "Shut up. It's too early, we haven't agreed on when exactly to do this"
The dull mass of metal, which was only a tangible casing, after some hope of catching at least a spark of doubt, only lowered its head heavily. The crackling of the fire continued to be heard around. The soot reached them, gifting them with at least some warm light among the shades of cold before dying. Realization, regret, reluctance were not reflected in the knight's optics. His armor, always proudly looking into the face of danger, now reflected only the cowardly lights of the fire from behind. Despite this, he did not remove his hand from the strong lock until the blades themselves parted. Shockwave disappeared. Disappeared as he had done for the past few months.
Blurr turned back to the burning wall. From afar were heard screams, squeals, grinding, clanking. The column of fire did not subside, as if it was fed by fuel from secret reserves. It had been burning like that for hours, as if to show the greatness of this building over others that would have left only a column of smoke long ago.
Shockwave's last school of dark magic was burning out, as was the will of its creator to live.
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So, I broke down and made a meme version of this post.
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(Alt/cleaner ver under the cut)
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dejasenti99 · 10 months ago
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i cant wait for it we all wanna be someone at the end of the day
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bisexualisaaclahey · 10 months ago
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best thing about scackson (to me at least) is that scott wasn't jackson's gay awakening, he was the guy that jackson realizes he had a crush on years later after being out and proud like
jackson, 2011: *one of the only people to notice things had changed with scott mccall*
jackson, 2011: *pursuing a homoerotic rivalry with scott mccall*
jackson, 2011: *generally obsessing over scott mccall*
jackson, waking up in a cold sweat years later: oh my god i was in love with scott mccall
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pucksandpower · 9 months ago
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I hope this is coming off as unbiased as I mean for it to … but I would be very surprised if Red Bull Racing ends up signing Carlos for 2025.
Not because Carlos isn’t a great driver (he is) or because he doesn’t deserve a seat on a competitive team (he does), but because Red Bull is a team that performs best with an obvious first driver and second driver … and I don’t think Carlos will be content with that.
The incident (insert inchident joke here) between Carlos and Charles during the sprint cost Ferrari precious points and all but gave Checo the podium. That’s not something I see Red Bull or Max being particularly drawn to as they look to continue their domination next season.
I think Checo has come to understand his role as second driver on the team, which allows Red Bull and each of their drivers to maximize both individual as well as team performances. I would be very surprised if they decide to jeopardize that.
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fisheito · 9 months ago
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blade, superspeed superstar investigative extraordinaire (flinging entire men around since , uh, Saia)
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uslugibudowlane · 1 year ago
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"Heroes" vs "Villains"
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valensolo12 · 6 months ago
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Been playing Pillars of Eternity all week and decided to try to keep a journal of interesting moments, since it turned out to be pretty fun when i did it with fallout 1. It's a much longer game so this is gonna take a while but here are my favorite pages!
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also a family photo of the party so far :) Durance is the weird uncle
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bonefall · 11 months ago
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.. opinions on wind runner? i feel like im one of the only ones that genuinely hates her sometimes
If you feel like the only one who genuinely hates her, I think you need to look around more. Wind Runner is a very widely disliked character, because she's often used within the story as a small antagonist who "threatens" the authority of Tall Shadow. Gray Wing dislikes her. Thunder is openly cat-racist to her. She spends several books trying to break through the moor cats' xenophobia to join a group that came to HER LAND.
Then, when Moth Flight is old enough to be a relevant character in Forest Divided, Wind Runner is turned into Yet Another mean mom the very moment Moth displays ADHD. She's contrasted to her mate Gorse Fur, who is a Soft And Good Dad, and ultimately MASSIVELY punished with the harrowing events of Moth Flight's Vision (even though, for most of that book, she's completely right.)
Ask yourself why they're especially harsh on WIND RUNNER for being mean to her child, in the arc with Tom the Fucking Wifebeater and his redemption death, plus Thunder being forced to stop being mad at his abuser Clear Sky, please.
To me, Wind Runner is an intense, ambitious woman who's demonized for it in a way that men just aren't. She's subject to several misogynistic trends within WC, plus a huge helping of xenophobia that goes absolutely unexamined. If DOTC cared at all about women, it would have treated her with the nuance she deserves.
Wind Runner is treated with nearly endless suspicion by Gray Wing through books 1 - 3, while he's bending over backwards to suck Clear Sky's toes.
Her wanting to join the group that came TO HER HOME and being a bit pushy about it earns a stronger reaction from Gray Wing than Clear Sky murdering people.
She's pressured into changing her name "to fit in," and it's still not enough. She wanted to join the group so bad she changed her name, at the request of the Mountain Cats, for a chance of being better accepted
This came after she'd already saved Jagged Peak's life when a burrow collapsed on him. She's plenty trustworthy.
She keeps doing shit to try and prove herself to this group of assholes. Remember Bumble being dragged back to her domestic abuser? Gray Wing interprets this as a power struggle, when WIND RUNNER WAS NOT EVEN PART OF THE GROUP AT THE TIME.
From Wind Runner's POV, she did something that the Moor cats wanted done. It was fucking evil. It was committing violence against another member of the out-group the cats see her as.
But who actually has the power here? Tall Shadow does.
Gray Wing said it himself that she could have come up with some excuse for Bumble to stay, and she didn't. In fact, any cat could have spoken up. No one did.
and still. STILL. Wind Runner gets nothing. Her reward is Gray Wing surmising that actually, her doing their sick dirtywork was a political move.
It's more consistent as a motivation with how Wind Runner wants to join their group. The thing she's been doing.
She only actually gets to join the group after Thunder starts publicly hurling slurs at her for suggesting they need to be ready for Clear Sky to attack them. "What do you know about peace? Last time I was here you were NOTHING BUT A ROGUE WITH A ROGUE'S NAME"
Gray Wing even starts purring when she gives birth, because her ambition goes away briefly and she "stops bossing everyone around." this is treated like a sweet thing. god forbid women retain their personalities when they have kids
She loses her first premature child to a seizure and Gray Wing starts proselytizing his religion to her. "Maybe it's a good thing your weakest child died because Jesus has them now" I want to beat him with a hammer
When her second child gets sick, Clear Sky has a bright idea that involves killing it. I refer to this as his "reverse leper colony" suggestion. He only develops a sense of humanity towards the sick when his brother's pregnant wife is in danger. Wind Runner and her kitten barely seem to clock as people to him.
It's only after her SECOND baby succumbs to a horrible, painful death that she decides the moor cats are assholes, and she goes to start her own group. It's LONG overdue. I was extremely excited to see it.
Now. Listen.
I've been treated just like Moth Flight before. I've practically heard the scolding in Book 6 Chapter 3 verbatim. I'm not downplaying anything about Wind Runner being harsh to her; being yelled at like that never fixed the problem.
What I'm saying is that this is the SAME arc that summons the hollowed-out ghost of Storm to coo that Clear Sky "never drove anyone away" with his abusive behavior and gives Tom the Wifebeater a heroic redemption death.
So why is the scolding from Wind Runner treated as unambiguously harsh? What's the difference between her and them?
Why is it that outside of this little bubble of the community, you can get buried in a flood of people crying about how "Clear Sky made Summisteaks Butt he thought it was the right thing :((( He feels bad about shoving Thunder's face in a weeping, pus-filled wound and trying to kill him :((((" but Wind Runner is mean about Moth Flight not catching a rabbit and she should be skinned alive
Why is WIND RUNNER held responsible for the death of Clear Sky's child in Moth Flight's Vision, WHEN IT WAS COMPLETELY HIS OWN FAULT??
So, why should I hate her? Because she's mean to the idiot protagonists? Because she's Yet Another Bad Mom whose actions ARE treated as Bad in the story, in the arc famous for openly weeping whenever someone's mad at their abusive dad?? When she has this whole horrific, unexamined story about how incredibly bigoted The Settlers are towards her and the extremes she goes to in order to please them?
I'm glad she's mean, actually. She should have been even meaner. I think she should have a gun
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charmac · 1 year ago
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Unspoken tension ahead of Charlie Work, a wound left open in Family Fight
The Production Order (the order in which the episodes are written) always seems of some value to me in Sunny, but 10 I find especially substantial. With half of the scripts of the season written by RCG, 4 are back-to-back (with their 5th one, Psycho Pete, being 2nd in order).
The run begins after The Gang Spies like U.S. Going off that into Charlie Work, as opposed to into that off Charlie Work, paints a very different narrative for the timeline.
We leave the reveal that Mac and Dennis are jerking off together into an episode that starts with high tension between Mac and Dennis. Dennis is frustrated that Mac isn't being direct, won't look him in the eyes, he's avoidant, timid. That's interesting, because Mac isn't usually any of those things, he's direct and abrupt and loud. Off 9, fully establishing Mac is gay, juxtaposing his closeted behaviour to Country Mac's openness, 10 focuses hard on the fact that Mac's confidence is continually battered as he refuses to step out of the closet. The Gang is tired of it, but Dennis is frustrated. His words maybe cut even deeper than the scratch, "Come to me like a man. Talk about being tough all the time, can't even look me in the eyes."
We leave CW and go into Family Fight, written right after, also by RCG. This episode has big focus on Dennis' obsession with public perception of himself, and the Gang. Though he can initially handle masking his demeanor, his tone of voice, what he can't mask are his words. He's smiling, he's 'joking', but there's deep truth in what he’s saying. He's frustrated, though his frustration in the moment is intended for Frank, Mac feels it directed at him. There's a fresh wound between them, because Mac fully understands what his feelings for Dennis are now, and that’s irreparably shifted their dynamic.
Misses the Boat is the last RCG-written episode of the season. From Charlie Work, where we’re kinda first faced with the fact that Mac is now overly-concerned with how Dennis perceives him, to Family Fight, where Dennis' masks slip completely and he has a public breakdown, they both veer hard to straighten themselves. Mac, very quite literally, goes straight, and Dennis resolves that he needs to cut ties to get back to being ‘cool’, he’s going to be a cool guy who has a cool car and hangs out with a babe and is cool.
But what we learn in Misses the Boat is that how they think the world views them, or should view them based on how they believe they present, isn’t who they are. They can’t actually function well in these situations. Dennis, untethered, somehow can’t control his rage as well as he can when he *is tethered* to the Gang. Mac, well, he isn’t straight, and he realises pretending to be into women is miserable.
Dennis gives him the offer: Do you want to go back? (To not addressing it, to a standstill.) And Mac quickly, excitedly takes it. Looping back to where they are in Charlie Work, back to where they settle for too long: Mac, absorbed in himself, clawing for approval from Dennis, and Dennis lashing out, tired of telling Mac what to do.
And I think this is why I love 10 more than anything, it finally addresses the issue the audience knows. With Charlie, Dee, and Frank, too. They’re going nowhere, spiraling in circles because they refuse to address the roots of their issues, and Misses the Boat makes them, themselves, fully aware of that fact. They’re miserable together, but they’re worse off alone. And they go into 11 and beyond knowing this, and all kind of resenting each other for it, until 14. Where they acknowledge it again, and decide they’re going to keep playing the game even though it’s set.
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localcanadiancreature62 · 4 months ago
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So uh does anyone give their favorite blorbos nicknames for fun/out of habit or is it just me?. I literally call Bill Fidds Stan Ford and Dipper different nicknames like bruh-. Bill is Billiam Siffer (cuz cipher but with s),Bitchass triangle,Pathetic meow meow,Billy boy. Fidds is Fiddly didly,Fiddly ford,Fiddly. Stan is Stanny boy. Dipper is Dippor. Ford is old man mad scientist. Also Soos is gopher man.
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