#man i though to maybe do a better work
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cheese
#mlp#my little pony#queen chrysalis#princess cadance#cheese#why dis look so mad meme#man i though to maybe do a better work#but its just a meme man#i want to be free master#i need to play some videogames fr#or watch some yuri shit#im tired man#:3
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i rmr when all the initial meta around endgame was coming out people were talking about steve being depressed and whatnot and it's like well yeah but he's BEEN depressed, like he woke up alone in this century and he kept going, now i can understand it being worse this time after finding a family and getting bucky back and losing them all except of course that's not why endgame steve was on about so like......the people writing meta were trying to connect these things that of course weren't really there on screen because that simply wasn't our steve
but i think it really could've been SO interesting to see this is the thing that finally makes steve stay down like he's lost so much and he just CAN'T keep fighting like i get some people think that's what they were going for but considering the ending......it's really not. and so i'm just thinking about a version after iw, maybe he gets some of the thor treatment except not turning his depression into a dumb fatphobic joke lol and maybe nat and others are trying to get through to him and it just doesn't work and then we get some flashbacks (which you could have done for all the original avengers actually which would be particularly important for bruce and nat and clint who did not have their own trilogies) including his mom telling him "you always stand up" and THAT being the thing to finally get him moving like it would've been such a perfect way to finally show sarah rogers some respect and ACTUALLY show steve really struggling instead of whatever they tried to do with him in that movie
#steve rogers#mcu#anti endgame#why am i still rewriting this movie five years later#really though i think i rmr just trying to work through it all#and a lot of the meta i was reblogging initially still wasn't really accurate to endgame or the rest of the mcu#like they were still making steggy more important than it canonically was while trying to explain why it was a bad ending#and it's kind of like you can say steve would respect that peggy had a life and wouldn't interfere with it but that's about it like#going on about how he DID love her so much and just wouldn't be selfish enough to do those things#or that she was soooo important to his moral compass (hence why so many fic writers had her telling him to go back to bucky lol insanity)#are just not accurate lmao i do think much as she may be rightfully disliked#while canonically he did not LOVE her he did respect her even if we think that's annoying bc she's an asshole to him in catfa#but yeah no he had a moral compass before her i understand what people were going for with the compass being symbolic but like....#any time she said anything did he listen? except for maybe when she told him he was meant for more? it really doesn't seem like it#nor did he need it! jesus! the whole point of catfa is he was chosen for a REASON he was already a good man#he did not need peggy 'sure i'll let nazis into shield' carter to teach him shit#but yeah it was bc i followed one stucky blog at the time who was reblogging a lot of good shit but a lot of that nonsensical shit too#and i was just reblogging it all bc everything sounded better than endgame#and i really did start seeing more of the discussions around peggy where her culpability in catws hadn't even occurred to me#bc i was so in fic from the beginning of joining fandom that not only was their relationship made as impt as stucky#it was also made out like what happened to shield was hurting her legacy and it's like...but she had to have at least SOME responsibility#and yeah eventually it's like okay no it's not just that steve wouldn't Do That it's also that they would've been a terrible couple#and not only would he not be so selfish but he wouldn't give up everything for HER lmao but he would've for bucky as was shown over and ove
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Currently trying not to vomit over the fact that I essentially just lost almost a thousand dollars brb
#why me. why is it always fucking me am I just not allowed to have good things WHAT have I done to earn this kinda karma#my stupid fucking idiot roommate decided to resign the lease at the complex so I naturally contacted the landlords like hey. how does that#work with the security deposit cuz I paid that years before she even moved in do you guys need to come inspect the place after I leave#and they were like oh no ☺️ it just carries over to her. and I’m like. so. so even though I am not living here nor am on the lease#whether or not I get NINE HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS BACK hinges on this JACKASS not wrecking the place???? actually not even then because say#she DOESNT wreck the place when she moves out TURNS OUT the deposit goes to her cuz it’s her name and account attached to the fucking#apartment and I’m just left sitting here like how. how is that fucking fair how does that make fucking sense I have to trust that she doesnt#ruin the place OR GET FUCKING EVICTED BECAUSE SHE HAS NO JOB AND NO WAY TO PAY RENT and then also trust her to just give it to me when she#moves out. I’m actually sick I’m actually gonna fucking throw up and the landlords were like yes exactly ☺️ perhaps you could work something#out with her and she could buy you out of it and I’m just like. she doesn’t have a job she still hasn’t paid me for LAST months utilities#let alone this months do you HONESTLY THINK she is EVER going to pay me the 900 dollars I’m fucking owed#and it’s like does this actually affect anything? no. I didn’t budget with that money cuz I didn’t actively have it and that’s not smart but#like…. 900 dollars….. I could have paid off the rest of my credit card with that and also it’s just infuriating that that money is basically#just being GIVEN to this fucking bitch who I KNOW is not gonna keep that apartment in good shape and that’s again if she somehow doesn’t get#her ass evicted cuz she’s not paying bills why they even LET her sign her own lease there I do not understand she literally has no proof of#income but ig they probably didn’t check that cuz she technically already lived there I’m just so. I’m so tired and I’m so done can I PLEASE#stop being the one who constantly gets screwed fucking over in EVERY situation no matter fucking what#while all these fucking idiots and shitty fucking ppl get whatever they want and actively BENEFIT from me getting fucked over???? I’m done.#I’m so fucking done I am never living with someone ever again never being finanacially tied to anyone fucking again and you know what. thats#great goes well with me basically being convinced atp to never be vulnerable with anyone ever again and never trust anyone ever again and#never dedicate ANY part of my life in a genuine sense to anyone ever again I will be fucking alone in every sense for THE REST of my fucking#life and that’s that. it’ll be better. this kinda shit will stop happening. financially emotionally psychologically I will stop suffering#because holy fucking shit I can’t do it anymore man I’m sick of it I’m sick of trying to be a good person and depend on people and be#vulnerable and always uphold my side of the responsibilities and arrangements just to get fucking spit on like man if this is what being a#shit person gets ppl maybe I should try because they sure seem to get all the benefits and whatever the hell they want consistently and#always while I try and be considerate of others and devote myselves to them and this is all I fucking get for it#and ik I KNOW this is just the straw on the camels back and this is a lot of issues compounding and it’s not even about the money atp#but I’m just. I’m so fucking sick and tired and beaten down and I’m tired of trying I just want to be completely on my own#so at least if bad things happen or I feel like shit I only have myself to blame and it’s safer that way and I’ll have to stop feeling like#this and dealing with these types of things UGH
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still genuinely can't believe how folks were surprised that Lestat was acting like a villain in the show that was based on book series where the first book has Lestat as a villain. and then later Armand as a villain in the same book. Like, obviously they are going to be the season 1 and 2 villains. AND love interests, bc our boy Louis is screwy in the head and we love him for it.
#tbh since louis is going to be staying around#they should just have him dating the new bad guy/villain each arc#like not akasha obviously. but when rhosh shows up maybe he and louis have a thing#like not a big thing bc they both have other people they love more but it could be funny#maybe him and santino meet. and santino wants to kill him for destroying the paris coven. but he falls for louis'#bc it's like vampire law that every man must fall in love with louis#and louis is into it bc he is fucked in the head#whatever. i'm rambling. and mostly joking.#though i do think a certain kidnapping plot from later books would work better with louis as the victim
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you know maybe there's some fun irony you can pull with Cedric/Percy where Cedric still dies
because if we are going a Cedric going behind Cho's back situation (or like if he was just never actually with her or a beard situation or just an outright au where it just didnt happen)
then you have Percy's first girlfriend almost dying
and then his boyfriend legit dying
and then if you choose to put him with another person who dies/has something bad happen to them (Sirius, Remus, Tonks, Stan, Anyone you just want to have die that we don't know the fate of )
(Or if you want to be really spicy Colin, where Colin and Dennis end up staying with Percy while they are on the run because of that fun Percy hiding people in his own flat concept that I really like and like Colin develops feelings from the close contact even though nothing really happens leading to an even more fucked situation where Percy's been keeping him at arms length for a lot of reasons but a small part of him hoping it will help keep him safe and that failing anyway)
we can give him a complex
#percy weasley#cedric diggory#colin creevey#cedric diggoy/Percy Weasley#Honestly wish Cedric and Barty sr. died further a part because then you could make it even worse <3#thought they do not so instead it could just really work with either#but ive been trying to think about Cedric/Percy more since it won that Poll because like i want to understand the appeal better#still funny that even with trying to think about them my brain still ened up drifting jdslkfjd#Perclin#make this man think he's just cursed#though if you add Cedric/Percy being something his family knows/learns about then you can have a good reason for him to maybe be around#a little longer then in canon#leading to Percy staying at Grimmauld for a while#and if you do that you can add Sirius after Cedric and even have them bond over the death of people they loved just for Sirius to die to#making Percy even more paranoid#Elise's Thoughts and Concepts
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i would take their poison
Sketch + Line Art for those Clicking Under the Cut(tm) (archival purposes honestly)
#moshi monsters#sweet tooth moshi monsters#experimentation i am COG AWFUL at digital dear goodness i was playing with coloring and transparency and all those fun digital doodads.#next time i probably wont have black outline or i'll do it differently. or i'll try well. not doing this. it sure was a process im#i'm an amateur everyone who masically only doodles. does the sketch look better than the final. kinda! but thats okay because im learning#and y'know what. sometimes in life you just need to draw faves no consequences#for how saturated a character they are i kinda feel like i pastelled things too muc and trapped myself with my convoluted layer setup but m#it was looking WEIRD with everything at full force#maybe the sparkles look dumb maybe the hair looks dumb and out of place and why i kinda made the lollipop a little funky too#uhh. first digital piece posted... ever?#the arm is SO fucky i am not that was. thats not what perspective is spam#yes this is what i spent a good chunk of today doing after i started working on coloring it and then. decided to go for it.#cooolrs a little inaccurate on the horns and such but man one of the biggest art things was like#i dont have to have everything at their perfect hex codes all the time. this would look way worse if i just. used their standard colors#yeah this is. instead of looking like its forward and to the right it kinda just looks like they have a Bigger hypno-lolly#especialy becase. i did not bother on the gloves and platforms i the sparkles work with 2 kinda sorta but you know#im practicing! i'm learning! i'll get better and learn how to do things more effectively!#anyway. sweet toof#though hey their arm looks even more fucked in the line art and sketch SO#note to future self have a Consistent Line Art Size so that if you feel like the line art looks like shit during coloring you dont have to#gamble on what size it was while changing it#sketch lollipop looks better i should have kept it small. but its fine. we'll get em next time boys (tm)#yes i know my gif post was so fancy and then the drawing is just THIS
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Guys. I did not know before now that writing could be painfully millennial in a full prose book but the pho*nix ke*per has proven me wrong and I have to complain about it in the tags
#k talks#weird astrix is because I don't want this showing up in the tag just in case#but I NEED To complain about this book real quick. I love a magical zoo that part was fun but good lord the main character....#I get what the author was trying to do with her arc and I will say the second half of the book is better than the first but Jesus christ#I hated the main character at the start she is SO annoying. not to be mean I know the whole point is her overcoming her anxiety#but like. I swear to God every two pages was just oooh I'm so awkward I'm such an introvert I'm such an awkward scrawny turtle!!!!#like CONSTANT. even worse though she's mean about it. for like half the book she's just so incredibly judgy at her public outreach job#she literally works at a zoo and has to learn hmmm... zoos need money??? zoos are also about... educating the public??? WHATT????#also it just felt so weird because she is constantly talking about how pale and skinny and pasty and scrawny and white she is#like constantly. and her best friend is a black trans woman who CONSTANTLY coddles and supports the mc in a very maternal way#and her love interest is latina-coded I'm pretty sure and is much more confident and opinionated and is literally described as fiery once#so like. hm! Okay! interesting! Interesting stereotypes going on tbh!!!#the mc learns some lessons and gets slightly less insufferable but like. also it was SO predictable I always knew what was gonna happen nex#and the writing style... like I said above it is MILLENNIAL and not in a fun way. the word boop is used several times. the humor is awful#the main character has multiple conversations about being so uwu bottom even though there's no sex in this book??? why??#and every single character description is repeated OVER and OVER with the same two details. SO much telling basically no showing#the writing was just so... quirky. ooooh look at me I'm awkward I trip over things I can't do make-up I love sitting on the couch!!!!#like. idk. obviously a lot of people really liked this book and I SHOULD have been one of them. Sapphic romance at a magic zoo....#but the execution was just so incredibly not my thing it actively pissed me off even if I can see what the author was trying to achieve#maybe I just don't like cozy fantasy. man. there was a bit where a guy should've gotten eaten by a kelpie but didn't. so maybe too cozy#for my tastes actually. which is weird I feel like I should enjoy cozy fantasy! especially about animals!!! but maybe this was just a fluke#anyways. to be clear I am not trying to make fun of the MC for having anxiety. just the overall way her social awkwardness was WRITTEN abou#really bothered me. idk man I'm a neurotic freak as well but I try to be NICE about it. and I have the correct zoo opinions. so.
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merry crisis guys!!!!
#‘it isnt christmas yet’ ‘it has been christmas for h o u r s ur late’ sshhhh my timezone is law ok~~~#cheers to the last week of the year~~~~~~~~~#sometimes i forget that it’s supposed to be a christian holiday though… i remember going to church for the ‘mas exactly once#it was boring :( i didnt even get the little bread biscuit thing :( i’ve always wanted to try it tbh#only bc it sounds crisp when people bite into it. i wonder if it has the same texture as like potato chips or sth#or like those ‘toasted bread chips’ that occasionally pop up in the stores… i like the cheese bread variations#or maybe it’s crisp at first bite then turns soggy (like those potato wheel crackers) m a n. do i hate those potato crackers.#they’re all salt; no substance. the dried and fried onion crackers are 100000000 times better#ngl i had no idea what those onion crackers were called for. like. 90% of my life so i called them ‘suntanned keropok’#only bc my mother used to dry them out under the sun on bright days (or in the toaster when she got lazy) before frying them#since frying them straight away without drying made them super hard instead of light and crispy..#man i kinda want onion crackers now… the slightly over-browned ones were the best~~~~~#anyways!!!! free holiday!!!!!!! no work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i’ll try to get ch36 of idol sengen up later~~~~~~~ i was gonna do part of it earlier but then i took 3 hours to finish my dinner sobs#not making any concrete promises though~~~~~~~~ all i want for crisisssss is asunaaaaaaaa#(asuna and… onion crackers… that is… aha~~~~ keropok bawang loml…)
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/falling back in love with film.
#forgot how fun it is to wait for it too#the whole process is something digital could never touch#I think when you start out with film early on it leaves a special mark that’s not comparable#no editing idk it's nice it takes a burden off my obsessive nature#it just is what it is#no five shots of the same thing if it sucks it sucks and even if it does it still has some charm#one of my rolls from Dec got kinda messed up and it still looks cool to me#film is the poetry of photography¿ it makes sense#a book of writing and film pics would be cool#anyways#if l get better maybe I'll add a film portion to my website#that poor website I've had it since last spring and rly need to work on it but it's so challenging to my brain and I never have free time#will work on making it more of a priority and slow down a bit#my brains always going I gotta destress and declutter that thing#but also there shouldn't be a rush or stress when it comes to things like this#but overall I need to refocus and slow down#life is so stressful though man#anyways also love how film is all different days it's special#still want to do that one childhood project l'm thinking of#got one#mine
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Something I really wish new parents would understand (and parents in general, but I find it especially egregiously egotistical coming from parents whose oldest is like. Still in diapers) is that -- honestly, it really does not matter how you raise your kid. You can encase them in gender roles and take them to church every Sunday before they can even talk, you could pray with them every night as you tuck them in. You have influence, but you lack God's power to dictate a preordained fate. The arrogance, to think that you could. If I didn't find it so sickeningly revolting, I would laugh. You're vain, you're vapid, you're small-minded and naive. Do you REALLY think, You, of ALL people, are gonna be the one who "does it right"? That I, an entire human being standing before you, am simply a reflection of my parents' failures? Society's failures? My own failures? That so many like me, all that are like me, are a result of Somebody's failing? And thusly, you think you're Better than that, right. You're holier-than-thou, quite literally. You know, completely neglecting to consider that there are many who came before you, with your exact attitude, who attempted to do the very same thing. Neglecting to mention or even acknowledge, those were the arms that held Me. That I stand here, before you, as proof that shit does not fucking work. Oh, but I must be the result of SOMEBODY'S failure. Otherwise, your worst fears may just come true. And boy, I sure hope they fucking do. But hey, maybe you'll "get lucky", and be able to assign that to your OWN doing and not just. Chance. A high chance, if we're honest, but the way you're shitting your pants like your itty bitty toddler in diappies over it you'd think that, like. Well, you already think there's some sort of conspiracy to be so real, and I really don't know what to tell you. Beyond the fact that you're just so fucking stupid and I hate you viscerally, personally. Heal your heart or accept the possibility that your kid will speak to you as little as humanly possible when they're older.
#normal. milo moments.#sorry i got annoyed by some lady on the internet. not elaborating further but i really do just torture myself sometimes huh#i don't know if i even really captured it but like. i feel like the CORE of my annoyance here. is the arrogance.#the implication behind 'raising your kid right' being 'whoever raised the likes of You must have done it wrong'#and also the idea that you can just. be fully in control of your child's destiny. just bc they came from You.#like no bitch!!!!!!!!!!!! that's not how any of that works!!!!!!!!!! also MAN. MAN. MAYBE ONE OF MY MOST ANNOYING#ex-christian personality traits. is me getting REALLY MAD ABOUT LIKE. god how do i even say it#you think you're better than god? on the same level as god? that you know god's plan and god's will?#that you're NOT taking the lord's name in vain right now? 🤨 uuuuuhm. okaaaayyyyyyyy 😒😒😒#LIKE. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN IT OR DESCRIBE IT. BUT WE BOTH PRESUMABLY KNOW THE RULES#AND I'M NOT EVEN PLAYING!!!! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S PLAYING!!!!!! AND YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#man.#also again just the sheer amount if arrogance it takes to think You're gonna parent Exactly Right#when your kids are still in diapers. like bitch you got a big storm coming.#ughhhhh i gotta just put it to rest though. just needed to get it out of my system.
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literally every item except for the pkmn game 😭 which, I should be clear, i am very very grateful for fjkdkl i was actually not expecting to receive more than two or three things, and the frying pan will be immensely useful djdkdl but aough there is a certain disappointment to the game not being one of the gifts fjdjkl
#part of me is like welllll maybe thats a sign that i shouldn't get the game#other part of me thinks maybe i can use the money that i might receive from relatives to get it but. i shouldn't. it should be for grocery#i AM happy and grateful to receive the other items on my list though i really really am fjdkdl#im excited abt the s.innoh gym badge pins !! going to put them on my bag as I acquire them in-game :]#i will match my sona ^-^#and the book is awesome and the scrub brush is useful and the crochet hook is excellent#so overall very good!!! just a tinge of disappointment abt the game but i rly shouldn't have gotten my hopes up fjfkdl#maybe i can use this as incentive to get my ass in gear to work on welfare application fjdkdl#but also maybe i just. shouldnt get the game. is it rly worth that much money that could go towards food instead ... idk 😭#and ofc i could emulate but for some reason i just dont rly want to do that fjdksl idk why#man. clasps hands behind me and looks out to sea.#also congrats to me again for keeping my mouth shut most of the time PHEW im getting better at keeping quiet#sorry this is such a greedy spoiled sounding vent fjdksl i just. there is a little bit of disappointment y'know? even if there shouldnt be!#trying to push it away bc i am glad for the other items fjdkdl and dont want to be a greedy ungrateful goober over a video game#dandy.cmd#vent //
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baking never feels more like science to me than when i'm trying to cobble together an intricate multi step recipe together from several different recipes and tutorials online because the recipe I'm imagining doesn't exist....
#genuinely feels like a science experiment making something fancier than a frosted layer cake#have to do all kinds of volume and weight conversions because one recipe is japanese and the other is indian and the other is english lmfao#none of the recipes are probably the exact volume I need so i might have to make some minis with my extra stuff#i have to find a very precise sheet pan size tomorrow for the patterned cake i'm gonna use as the outer bit#otherwise i'll have to make my own from parchment paper??? or tin foil??? man idk.....#i had to write out all of my instructions and ingredient lists so i don't have to go between 6 different websites tomorrow/sat#i had to do research on fucking. gelatine 😭because it's impossible to find gelatine sheets here and they're used in EVERY mousse recipe#and there's apparently a huge debate on what the ACTUAL conversion of sheet gelatine to powdered gelatine is for baking#I also had to type up like an exact order to make each component because most need a significant amount of cooling time#grayson im gonna try my hardest to make you this fancy ass lemon cake and i pray i succeed this time where i failed on my own birthday#2 yrs ago but also i think this will go better bc i'm not doing a jelly insert or a candied mirror glaze#I'm also making my own candied lemons and lemon curd even though i don't have to#mostly because i wanna try doing it and the sheer power of getting to say i made the whole thing from scratch *#minus the actual cake mix because i don't have a good from scratch cake track record and box mixes are so so reliable#and i have too many moving parts to worry about finding a new cake recipe#every fucking cake recipe now is a fucking genoise sponge for SOME REASON#which is NOTORIOUSLY DIFFICULT AND A HUGE PAIN IN THE ASS BECAUSE IT USES NO RISING AGENTS#i want to throttle whoever it was that made online recipe people turn to only using variations of a genoise sponge for their cake recipes#honestly i need to maybe join the baking subreddit and ask for some good old baking/cookbooks with reliable baking recipes#ones that aren't crazy labor intensive for fucks sake i'm not a french patisserie#my stuff#it would be cool to one day have baked enough and have enough know how of how standard baking recipe components work#so i can just come up with my own recipes on my own#and just use whatever flavors i want#i feel like i would enjoy being a baker except if i had to make wedding cakes
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I had a lot of the same issues with reload as I see you’re having, and I do think most of it is from the new team’s inexperience. They’re trying to recreate a game that made very purposeful decisions in its mechanics and cutscenes without understanding why those decisions were made, which really undermines the experience.
If the team had more experience under their belt, or had full creative decision on an entirely new game, I feel like they could make a really good game! Reload is not that though.
I completely agree anon. It's a shame too, because it's not an awful game, just a different one. I wish they hadn't tried to recreate FES as a test project on a shoestring budget when it was literally the benchmark for our modern Persona games. It changed so much, it's iconic, a cult classic.
I really wish they wouldn't have lied about not planning EpiAi beforehand so they could cover the fact that the game doesn't look all too good. I wish they hadn't charged $200 for an "Aigis Edition" and not include the dlc. I wish they hadn't sanitized and scrubbed the game about death and grieving of all things that were slightly upsetting. That's what ended up happening though, and as you said, they're trying to recreate a game that was very purposeful in its creation.
Reload was a cheap quick test that they knew would work because it has a wonderful story and dedicated fans. As long as they make it a fun popcorn game, they don't have to put in those purposeful additions or think about it much at all.
#compendiumnotebook#thank you for the ask anon!#These characters are new characters#This game is a new game#Its fine if this was your first expierence to P3 and its wonderful if you enjoyed it#I truly do believe Persona3 is a timeless test of art. I don't hold Reload in that same regard.#i wish they would have given them a new game to work on rather than remake an old game.#its already done though#just gotta look towards the future#man epiai was egregious#i really wanted to love it#and i did enjoy it more than base#the gameplay loop was super addicting#and i loved the chapel floor#but those characters and that story and how they retold it left a really bad taste in my mouth#loved erebus though!! he was fun. the model was p good in the dark#heartful cry was good and the colosseum fights were difficult#and metis was lovely#loved metis#but oh my god the downplay of yukari. the complete redaction and rewrite of scenes. unforgivable.#i really hated how i felt during the end of base and epiai#and i hate that i felt so sour.#its fine. I'm probably just gonna stay off twitter and away from reload stuff from now on.#gonna give it some time#maybe I'll go back and answer some questions in my inbox that i haven't yet#talk about and analyze fes some more#and when im feeling better maybe I'll go back to criticize and analyze why i didnt like reload as much#untill then
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Not much has been shared yet for the Nicky day of the week which has me thinking that *I* wanna draw a Nicky to share but... That would require... Drawing and... Liking what I draw...
#I should draw though it's been a minute#I wanna draw Sparrow too... maybe even a demon Sparrow...#:/ But unfortunately to get better at art you gotta make more of the art#And it's hard for me to not get discouraged very quickly#And I'm always so embarrassed when I do share my drawings lmao#That's why I don't use an art tag- don't want people finding that shit lmao#Props to gigi though for scavenging my blog like a raccoon for an oldish glenn sketch that one time tho LMAO#She earned that#:0 I still mostly like that Nicky I have as my banner but I feel like I've never been as pleased with a drawing I've done of him since#Oh Cal if you're reading this- you were talking the other day about wishing you were more of a writer to express what visual art can't#And I *totally* felt that from the opposite end LOL#(I do get insecure about my writing but like not as much) like ''THIS WOULDN'T WORK AS A FIC THIS WAS MEANT TO BE A 4 PANEL COMIC"#Or just like ''I want to *show* you this character design'' not idk. Write about it.#Also I can keep my attention drawing for much longer than writing lol- writing fiction anyways#Man. ANYWAYS.
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Batman has/had some kind of miscommunication going on with every single one of his kids. The bat family is just one big miscommunication trope after the other.
#him and Dick have miscommunication about how they see each other. Bruce sees Dick as a son and Dick sees Bruce as a father#but they didn’t think the other saw them that way so they never told each other. that’s what led to their fights in Dick’s later teenage#years and dick quitting and becoming nightwing. he thought Bruce only saw him as a ward/robin so he thought that as long as he couldn’t be#robin Bruce wouldn’t want him#and if didn’t help when Bruce stopped talking to him when he left. though to Bruce it was because he thought Dick didn’t want to talk to him#and also Dick really needs to tell Bruce like ‘hey you put me on a higher pedestal then you put even yourself which is saying something and#and I don’t like that cuz that’s too much pressure for me. and also since you did it everyone else does it and has done it since I was Robin#and it’s literally just a matter of time before I break from the pressure cuz I’m not fucking Superman and I can’t take it’#and Jason with the whole UTRH thing. you know all Bruce had to say was that he had tried killing the joker over Jason multiple times and#maybe just explain to Jason WHY he doesn’t kill. a simple ‘you’re better than me because if I killed one person I’d kill everyone’#or it could even just be a simple ‘I do love you Jason youre the kid that I felt most comfortable loving’#and also maybe a ‘I don’t think anything changed after my death and that makes my death meaningless which I think goes against your no kill#rule because I hat is the rule of not a reminder taht death means something. and by that logic my death already went against the rule so why#can’t you do it again for the man that murdered me.’ and Bruce needs to make a presentation: ‘all the ways Jason’s death meant something’#and Tim just needs a simple ‘I don’t see you as work I see you as family.’ maybe even a ‘you don’t have to be the grown up in this relati#anymore I’m sorry you were one to begin with. you should’ve always been the child’#now his miscommunication with Damian goes much deeper but I’m one hundred percent sure if they sit down and air out all of their feelings it#would help a lot but I have a feeling that won’t happen#a ‘I have trouble understanding you because both your trauma and compassion run deeper than mine and I also never had to grow up to be a#weapon’ from Bruce and a ‘I don’t understand your optimism and moral stubbornness and easness why is it so easy to be good for u?’#his miscommunication with Cass stems from two things a simple ‘why are you so afraid to show how deeply you love?’ from Cass maybe a#‘I’m jealous of you because you’re better than me not only in fighting but morally and emotionally’ from Bruce should fix it#and Steph— look I’m not even going to TRY to get into that that goes SO much deeer and wider than any one else’s miscommunication#but maybe a ‘you reminded me of Jason at a time where that wasn’t a good thing’ from Bruce should start things up#for Duke a ‘I can never truly understand what you’re going/have gone through and for that I’m sorry’ from Bruce should suffice#maybe also Bruce telling him that just because he sees Duke as a son doesn’t mean he’s trying any less to get Duke his parents back#oh and babs just needs to go up to him and say ‘I don’t like that what happened to me happened for your story and not mine and I don’t like#that you don’t let me make it into my story’ and then Bruce can follow up and say ‘I see so much of myself in you and it makes me worry and#also I can never look at you without feeling guilty cuz you’re right what happened to you happened for MY story so I’m at fault’#then the two can go back to being too much like each other and sitting at their respective computers
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for ppl that know my tf fan lore you would think I'd be ryu/kita pilled since I was blur/bee CEO but actually I was driven by my shock/bee instincts to be drawn to ake/kita instead <- none of these words are in the bible
#THERES A METHOD TO MY MADNESS#ok ok ok. ryu/kita. its the spunky bro electric yellow guy and the autistic weird blue guy. thats straight up blur/bee and i admit it#THE BLUE GUY IS EVEN TALLER THAN THE YELLOW GUY. ITS SO BLURBEE#but like for me. i def enjoy ryu/kita a lot but it doesnt make me crazy like blurbee does. nor ake/kita#BUT LIKE OK. THIS IS WHERE ME SAYING AKE/KITA IS LIKE SHOCK/BEE GETS INTO INSANE PPL TERRITORY#ok . for one. ermmmmmmm. shockwave .... was my first goro.#bc he has the whole. false identity meant to decive vs true identity as a villain thing. like gorby#and also i admit. i do have my v specific fan interpretation of him that makes him more sympathetic BUT ALSO THATS LIKE JUST ME.#ITS NOT IN CANON. IM AWARE OF MY DELUSION. i have fun though its ok. i separate fan interpretation from canon text. i have media literacy#the real insane part though is trying to explain why yusuke takes on a bee role.#to preface its not matching in personality. at all. they are nothing alike#its not the personality thats key here. its the role and dynamic he specifically has with shockwave#in which hes kinda a more lighter character that often gets religated as comic relief in the source material#but does have a genuine depth to him that could be taken more seriously but that usually gets ignored#and paired up with the antagonist guy with conflicting identity he pulls out a better side from them#and also they have the capacity to be sooo crazy dramas and toxic yaois and redemption like. whatever.#IM INSANE. IM INSANE IM INSANE. GOD .#i . i . i . im.... idk man i love dynamics#shock/bee still isnt like my top tf:a rarepair. but also ryu/kita isnt my top personba 5 pair . for some inexplicable reason#when i rlly enjoy both these kinds of dynamics but then sometimes it clicks with me more with certain character and a lil less with others#im a complex inexplicable enigma. but also maybe some characters just make it work better for me#i think largely overall though#im drawn to dynamics that have a hint of smth in the source and are expanded upon more in transformative material#anyway blah blah blah all that though#the real consistency is i keep having the same favorite character in stuff and its the blue autistic guy#rando thoughtz
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