#man i should revisit the main story finale it was so nice

[yume-fanfare]

but you guys know that alkaloid are not revolutionaries right. that's trickstar. alkaloid are normal well-behaved idols who started from the bottom and got to where they are by working diligently in traditional idol things. they get mentioned in the same sentence as ra*bits as example of good kids. mayoi was advised to stay away from trouble during the graduation tour because it'd be bad for alkaloid's image. even if their music sounds more aggressive, they're soldiers who follow orders, they do not oppose authority (again, that's trickstar)

[morose-magnetrix]

Hi I saw that you’re a big Lorna Dane fan and that you’ve read a lot of her comics. Do you have a recommended reading list for her?

Hey there! 💚🧲 Thanks for the ask!

I use Travis Starnes’ reading order for my Polaris-athon (https://cmro.travis-starnes.com/character_details.php?character=426) but if you’re just wanting to get into her stories it’s way too much tbh. She has a lot of appearances and it can be difficult to sort through the meaningful ones and the ones where she’s just on the page as a recognizable cameo.

I haven’t managed to read all of her appearances yet - I’ve gotten up to the early 90s, and I’ve read most of her appearances from, like, 2016 onwards. I’m a little behind on Fall of X as well. So there likely are going to be some gaps here, but this would be my recommended reading list for Polaris 🧲 :

Krakoan Age (2019-)

this is the golden age for Polaris in my opinion, and where I’d honestly recommend you start reading!

Leah Williams’ X-Factor: This is where the modern revitalization of Polaris into the It Girl of Krakoa really begins. There is controversy surrounding the final issue of the series due to Prodigy's storyline (see here, here, and here for more info), but overall I really love this run. It’s very queer and does a great job of taking Polaris’ spotty characterization and having her begin a journey of self discovery.

Gerry Duggan’s X-Men: Gerry follows up on Leah’s work here and Polaris really starts to shine. Issue #5 is a standout and a personal favorite, if you only read one issue, it should be this one. She’s in vol. 1 as a main member of the team, and the spin offs from this period (Devil’s Reign X-Men and Death of Doctor Strange: X-Men/Black Knight) are really fun. Plus, Pepe Larraz’s redesign of her for this book is STUNNING.

Alex Segura's 'Control' arc in X-Men Unlimited (#96-99) : this is exclusive to the Marvel Unlimited app, but it’s really great. Lorna’s a cameo queen after leaving Gerry’s book, so it’s a nice centering of her and revisits some of her greatest villains.

Steve Orlando’s Scarlet Witch: Issue #3 is a must read in my opinion, particularly if you’re interested in Lorna’s relationship with her family (it builds off of Williams’ Trial of Magneto, which I love and establishes her PhD, but ultimately I think you can probably skip, it’s more of a Wanda focus).

The Lost Era (2010s)

This is the time period following the Decimation, where a lot of stories... tread water, tbh! Nothing here is essential reading for Polaris.

Lorna spends a lot of this era in the hands of Peter David, who is a vile scum sack of a person (see here for an example). I've read All New X-Factor (2014), where he characterizes her as someone who is completely unhinged and a danger to animals. It's not a fun time tbh. And again, it's Peter David - so I would skip this. You aren't missing much.

Cullen Bunn's X-Men Blue (2017): I've only read the first arc of this run, but it focuses on the time-displaced O5 X-Men (Jean, Warren, Scott, Bobby, Hank). Magneto is mentoring them, so Polaris steps in to keep him from making them too ~evil~. I haven't heard anything good or bad about her appearances in this book, so I can't really recommend one way or another. It's probably safe to skip.

Ed Brisson's Uncanny X-Men (2018): Again, I haven't read this one yet! It's the lead up to the Age of X-Man event, where she also appears. Similarly to X-Men Blue, I haven't really heard anything good or bad about this one. You can skip it if you'd like, it's right before Krakoa pops off which is a soft reboot from the entire franchise.

Decimation Era (2000s)

John Byrne's X-Men the Hidden Years: I haven't read this either yet, but I know some people really like it. It fleshes out a lot of the Silver Age stuff, and it's where Polaris uses the codename Magnetrix (where I got my blog name from lol).

Apocalypse: the Twelve: I have not read this. I have heard only bad things about it lmao. Polaris and Magneto are part of a prophecy about defeating Apocalypse, but it doesn't turn out the way they expect. Skip.

Grant Morrison's New X-Men #132: A transformative issue for Polaris and a HUGE milestone in her character. It deals with the Genoshan genocide, of which Polaris was one of the few survivors. Highly recommend.

Chuck Austen's Uncanny X-Men: So this run is very ~your mileage may vary~ - I haven't read it yet myself. BUT from what I know, Austen really builds on Morrison's trauma that they gave to Lorna, and really takes her away from the assimilationist characterization Peter David gave her. Plus, it has the iconic Magneto wedding dress panel (Uncanny X-Men (1981) #426)

House of M (2005): she's in it, she doesn't really do much! Skip.

Peter Milligan's X-Men: Polaris becomes Pestilence, the horseman of Apocalypse in the Blood of Apocalypse arc beginning in X-Men (1991) #181. I haven't read it, but tbh most Apocalypse storylines between the original X-Factor arc and the Krakoan age are bad, so it's probably safe to skip.

After her spin as Pestilence, Lorna goes to space and joins the Starjammers. I haven't read this yet either, but it seems like fun! Relevant titles would be Uncanny X-Men (1981) Rise and Fall of the Shi'Ar Empire (#475-486), X-Men: Emperor Vulcan #1-5 (2007), and then the War of Kings (2009) event.

1990s

Skip this entire era. She's basically just in Peter David's original run on X-Factor (1986). The artwork is pretty, but the writing comes off as very male gaze-y to me and her character arc is somewhat repetitive.

X-Factor (1986) #186 (eXaminations) is famous for being an in-depth character study of the entire team. It's where we first see Lorna's eating disorder pop up. It's well done, just, well - fuck the writer lol.

Claremont Run (1975-1980s)

Lorna's storyline is overall a little confusing and hard to follow in the Claremont era, mostly because she is a) mind-controlled for most of it and b) not the main plot. So she ends up appearing in random issues, sometimes gone for huge lengths at a time, and then reappears. It's really clear that Chris was interested in working with this character and had some great ideas for her, but she was never one of his main blorbos.

These are the issues you should check out:

Giant Size X-Men (1975): Claremont didn't write this, Len Wein did, but this is really the start of the Claremont run. It has some cool moments for Polaris, including an early example of a mutant circuit between her and Storm!

X-Men (1963) #97: Lorna and Havok are mind-controlled by Erik the Red (don't worry about it) to fight the X-Men.

X-Men (1963) #125-129: the Proteus arc, Lorna is on Muir island with Havok and helps out. Nothing super critical happens, she just sorta vibes (and enjoys not being mind controlled).

Uncanny X-Men (1981) #145-146: Arcade has kidnapped loved ones of the X-Men, tbh I would recommend reading this just for Polaris' outfit. It's this witchy purple thing that is INCREDIBLE.

Uncanny X-Men (1981) #218-219, 221-222, 239-241, 243, X-Factor (1986) #39: Polaris is possessed by Malice, so now she's fighting against the X-Men... and working for Sinister! It's not technically her, but it's iconic and is a prime example of a running motif of possession for her.

Uncanny X-Men (1981) #249-250: ZALADANE! An iconic retcon, we meet Lorna's long lost sister (again).

Uncanny X-Men (1981) #253-255, 257-258, 269, X-Factor (1986) #69, Uncanny X-Men (1981) #280, X-Factor (1986) #70: Big!Lorna and the Muir Island saga. It's very weird! But I love big!Lorna and her muscles, so we stan. This is also the very weird end of Chris Claremont's main run on the X-Men, where it's very clear the plots got messed with in the wrap-up.

After this, Peter David takes over X-Factor, and he's garbage!

The Silver Age (1960s)

So this is Lorna's debut era, she's an OG member of the X-Men! Unfortunately even here, they never quite know what to do with her. She's very much intended to function as Bobby's love interest, which... doesn't really work out lmao. But I do think this era is fun to read, especially knowing what retcons they're going to build out later on for her, particularly with regards to Magneto.

She's not in too many issues:

Arnold Drake's X-Men (1963) #49-52: Lorna's first appearance! It's super fun, definitely check it out.

Linda Fite's X-Men (1963) #57: Lorna fights a sentinel!

Roy Thomas's X-Men (1963) #58-62: Some more fun moments - Kazar/Sauron arc, and the first appearance of Havok!

Dennis O'Neil's X-Men (1963) #65-66: The Z'nox invasion, Lorna has some cool moments here. Still no codename tho lol.

I'll try to update this as I fill in my gaps, but happy reading!! 🧲💚

[astoundingbeyondbelief]

Kaiju Week in Review (October 30-November 5, 2022)

This week actually brought more news than I was expecting... and I was expecting a lot!

Takashi Yamazaki will direct—or rather, has been directing—the next live-action Toho Godzilla film, which started shooting in March under the working title Blockbuster Monster Movie. (Gigant called it!) He also wrote the script and will supervise the visual effects, a level of control never before afforded a Godzilla director. Yamazaki previously directed the King of the Monsters in the cold open for Always: Sunset on Third Street 2 and the Godzilla the Ride: Giant Monsters Ultimate Battle attraction, but he's also been extremely prolific as a director of visually extravagant genre movies, including Returner, Space Battleship Yamato, the live-action Parasyte films, and Lupin III: The First.

Little is known about the story, save for the time period: early postwar Japan, specified in a casting call as 1945-47. That's rare territory for a Godzilla story. I believe Godzilla: Awakening is the only other example, and that was a globe-trotting adventure in which the Big G never set foot on Japanese soil. So it promises to be something truly fresh for his 69th anniversary. Nice.

The main attraction of Toho's Godzilla Fest livestream was the event's third tokusatsu short, Fest Godzilla 3: Gigan Attacks. These things get better every year; compared to Godzilla vs. Hedorah, Gigan Attacks had a bigger set, a new suit for the enemy monster and a much nicer-looking suit for Godzilla, sharper fight choreography, and more intricate VFX. If they keep getting longer too, maybe Toho will accidentally make another tokusatsu feature by the 2030s.

For the next few days, you can watch it on YouTube here (starts at 6:57:00 and is followed by a ton of behind-the-scenes footage). After the archived stream gets banished, find it on archive.org.

I kind of love when animation makes kaiju lighter and bouncier than they should be for the sake of slicker fight scenes, and the other Godzilla Fest short, Godzilla vs. Gigan Rex, certainly delivered on that front. And if you've always wanted Toho to revisit the Heisei continuity, there are a few hints that this Godzilla is Junior, including the long-overdue return of Megumi Odaka as the narrator. (As a Wikizilla bureaucrat, I am obligated to add that these are only hints, akin to the way IDW's Godzilla comics will sometimes allude to the films without officially being in continuity with them.) Assuming this is Junior, he certainly does his old man proud.

An onslaught of new Movie Monster Series figures were revealed this week: Godzilla '84, Gamera '96, two Shin Ultraman variants, Zarab's Ultraman disguise, and Mefilas. A site called Awesome Collector also opened preorders for Manda '04, Baragon '65, Ebirah '66, Hedorah '04, Godzilla '04, and King Ghidorah '91, due in February or March 2023. No images for them yet, but they foretold the MMS Salunga figure in the past. Finally, Showcase Daikaiju claims that the Godziban versions of Rodan and Anguirus will be shipping out next month. I'm more excited for those than the ones we got total confirmation of, to be honest. Though the Godzilla '84 looks more on-model than my NECA...

Oh yeah, there's an S.H.MonsterArts of the original Gigan on the way too. Not my thing, but nice to see them remember the Showa era exists.

Buried in a Hollywood Reporter article about Blockbuster Monster Movie is the revelation that Godzilla Island will be coming to the English Godzilla YouTube channel (GODZILLA OFFICIAL by TOHO) later this month. Yes, the one from the late 90s where Bandai toys portray all the monsters. This will be its first official English translation; as someone who's watched the whole thing raw, I'm excited to finally learn what the hell's happening in some of those story arcs. The special effects are the least wild part of the show, truly.

Netflix released a full trailer for Troll which looks pretty spectacular; I did not realize the film had this much money to play with. Roar Uthaug (The Wave, the Tomb Raider remake) is the director. It's always nice to see another giant monster movie set in Europe—how many have there been since the glory days of Reptilicus, Konga, and Gorgo? Okay, maybe "Konga" and "glory days" don't belong anywhere near each other... the point stands.

O'Shea Jackson Jr. has been writing the pilot script for a G-Team animated series with Toho Kingdom media relations director Chris Mirjahangir. (In case you forgot, that's Monarch's military branch, callously discarded in Godzilla vs. Kong like most of the world-building in King of the Monsters; Jackson played Barnes.) No story details yet, beyond plans to include Biollante and Gigan. Bear in mind this is far from a done deal; the strategy seems to be going public early to convince Toho and Legendary the demand is there.

Fathom Events screenings of Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla grossed $335,000 from 727 theaters on Thursday, good for fifth place that day. Apart from the introduction by Chief Godzilla Officer Keiji Ota (who I hear was very wooden), Fathom included last year's Godzilla vs. Hedorah short and some behind-the-scenes footage of said short which I'm not sure has ever been released before. Thankfully, a couple people recorded that part.

The film itself had some frame rate issues, at least at certain theaters. The video quality also apparently dropped off whenever there were any English supers. The subtitles used the (superior) script from the old TriStar DVD, though a handful of typos suggested they were retyped. Still, people seemed thrilled at getting to catch a Toho Godzilla movie in theaters, and I can't blame them (G-Fest has spoiled me rotten).

Evangelion Unit-01 has officially arrived in Godzilla Battle Line, with the Fourth Angel (called Sachiel in the original show) to follow mid-month. She's armed with a Gatling gun and a few neat abilities, like an AT field reducing the damage she takes while she's rushing and resistance to self-destructing units like Burning Godzilla and Zetton. Be forewarned that Shinji screams in agony whenever an Eva Leader loses a match. Battle Line also gave Kiryu an Evangelion skin—and the ability to evolve into the Modified version from Tokyo S.O.S. after being defeated twice in a match. Also, GigaBash released a teaser for their upcoming Godzilla DLC, and announced that three more Toho monsters would join the game as well. Be sure to feign surprise when they turn out to be King Ghidorah, Mechagodzilla, and Mothra.

I'll close with yet another plug for another kaiju obscurity brought to light by @spacehunter-m. This one's the 1958 German version of Godzilla Raids Again with English subtitles. It's a more straightforward dub than Gigantis; no banana oil, fire monsters, or unrelenting narration in this one. It also looks better than the HD transfer Toho has been trotting out for years, despite being in SD!

[thecyrulik]

Simon negotiates terms and conditions. Egon is inconvenienced.

Special shoutout to @whump-card for making me revisit this beloved story of mine. I am aware I am its main audience but it has a special place in my heart.

And to @oliversrarebooks bc their story made me think quite a lot about hypnosis and vampire glamour.

prev | masterlist

The Bargaining

Months had passed before he was finally able to do anything to regain some control over his life. In the meantime, he suffered from temporary weakness and headaches, sometimes stronger, sometimes barely there. He missed some days at work. Had some serious talks with his manager. Begged her to let him stay, promised to pull himself together even though he knew he had no way of keeping that promise. He had to deal with the worried looks of his coworkers, not only Maddie, but the rest of them too. They meant well, but they just couldn’t help him.

He considered going to sleep right after dinner, but he felt quite restless, as if something was about to happen. He kept himself busy, trying to catch up with some work, but eventually ending up reading a book about mental illnesses that Maddie gave to him. In some harsh, though well-meaning words she suggested that he should at least try to figure out what was wrong with him on his own, to make dealing with it easier. It didn’t exactly work but it was an interesting read anyway.

The window opened silently, but Simon felt the change in the air nonetheless. He raised his head immediately, a small part of him already knowing what he would see at the windowsill. The dark-haired man stood there, staring at him with an intensity that made Simon’s skin crawl, and he was perfectly still – so Simon decided to act on his own.

He stood up from the desk, keeping his eyes on the intruder and putting a bookmark between the pages before closing the book. Maybe I won’t get to finish it? Why bother with a bookmark?, he thought before he could stop himself. The vampire stood still as Simon straightened up and very carefully avoided looking at the closed door. Don’t be stupid, he told himself. If he could crawl up the walls and mess with his mind, there was zero chance of escaping whatever was to come.

Despite all that, Simon couldn’t help himself and took a short, nervous step backwards. He realized what he did; he stopped right away. The vampire hadn’t moved at all. Simon was flooded with all the memories he had been robbed of before; all kinds of feedings, the sudden ones, the fierce and quick ones, the oddly gentle ones. It had been going for quite some time, he realized. He was still alive, which was nice, if surprising, but he had a feeling he wouldn’t be for long if this went on like this. Not because the vampire would kill him personally, it was just that Simon felt he just couldn’t go on like this anymore. He had to do something.

The monster finally made a move, seemingly pleased with Simon not running away. As if they didn’t both know he didn’t have a chance. He stood there watching, waiting, as the vampire slowly walked up to him and grabbed his chin with thumb and index finger. Simon suppressed a shiver, realizing that the gesture was familiar, that it had happened before. He wanted to scream, to beg, to run away, almost overwhelmed with memories and the fear they brought up. He couldn’t utter a word. The vampire watched him curiously before tilting his head slightly to the side and burying his fangs in Simon’s flesh. 

Simon gasped. The pain was sharp and short. All the muscles in his body tensed as agony went through him, then left. He was flooded with that odd sensation that felt like being wrapped in cotton, or something else soft, warm but strange. The blood flew away from him and the vampire’s body was getting warmer bit by bit. Simon raised his slightly shaky hands to the vampire’s chest. He wasn’t really trying to push him away but he wanted to be able to do it anyway. The blood drinker ignored that, slowly draining him while still keeping a hold on his jaw, gentle but firm.

A long moment had passed before Simon realized that even though the vampire still held him by the chin, he had already pulled his fangs out of his neck. He also noticed with some surprise he was now shivering terribly, uncontrollably, almost painfully. He let out a choked gasp, dizzy with terror, confusion and desperation. The vampire pulled his chin up after a little while, making him look into his eyes. The rest of the puzzle pieces fell into place in Simon’s mind.

“No!” he blurted out, trying and failing to step back. He kept his eyes closed. The hand on his jaw tightened a little. He swallowed and took a deep breath, then opened his eyes, carefully avoiding the vampire’s piercing gaze. That was his chance and it might have been the only one he’d ever get.

“Please, please don’t do that! I swear I won’t tell anyone about you, or-or try to hurt you, but I just… I can’t go on like this,” he paused, risking a quick glance at the vampire’s unchanging face. Okay. He wasn’t furious yet. Time to keep going.

“Please don’t do this to my head anymore. Every time you do it, I can barely function for a couple of days afterwards, and I can’t lose my job, but I will if you keep doing this, so p-please, just don’t do that… I promise I won’t do anything to harm you, I just can’t go on, I can’t, can’t, please-” he almost sobbed, his fear and exhaustion getting the better of him.

“Very well,” said the vampire after a short while, his voice almost too neutral and devoid of emotion. “We’ll do something different. Look at me, human.”

Simon tried very hard to oppose that command, but in the end, he still looked up, staring straight into the blood drinker’s cold eyes. A sense of failure and hopelessness flooded him as those terrible eyes bore straight into his very soul and he felt tendrils of power wrapping themselves tightly around his conscious mind. At least I tried something, he thought as he was drifting away, barely able to stand with the vampire’s help.

***

The human surprised him that night. First of all, he shouldn’t have been able to remember the previous feedings, even in the vampire’s presence when the parts of the previous glamours could be accidentally lifted. Even more so he shouldn’t be able to oppose him like that. A thoughtless flinch, yes, a blind attempt to run away, or to fight him back - it all happened from time to time, but this? This was thought through, meaning the boy had some level of understanding of what was happening to him, even between their meetings. This could be dangerous, to let such a human roam free. Egon should either kill him or at the very least wipe him clean and never come back. But… as much as he didn’t like to admit it, he grew accustomed to those feedings, the way the human tasted and acted, his quiet acceptance. It was pleasant, in a way, not to worry about fighting, hunting or paying for sustenance. 

After a short while, he decided. Yes, he’d keep the boy alive. It might be a risk, but a small one, especially since the young human didn’t seem like he could be a threat to anyone, let alone a vampire. He would have to take precautions and, apparently, take what the human asked him into consideration; that is if he wanted him to last long-term. It was all manageable, if slightly cumbersome. He could do it without any issue really, his job often forced him to inconvenience himself more for less.

The boy shivered under his touch and stared at him with terror mixed with exhaustion. Well, no need to scare the human any further, he thought and got to work, driving his will into the mortal’s mind.

taglist: @hold-him-down @afrosarah @whumpy-writings @spookyceph @neverthelass and @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night just this once so they try it out

[astral-from-afar]

Ooh nice to see a fellow Kamen Rider type of person

Personally, out of the three main tokusatsu, I think I watched Kamen Rider more than anything. I did watch all 3 equally at first but my interest went from Ultraman and Super Sentai (from when I was little) to more of Kamen Rider as I grew older.

I haven't watched much from Reiwa since I stopped watching Tokusatsu maybe 3 years ago. But growing up, my parents were into tokusatsu, so I was naturally shown a lot of it, lmaoo. I kinda stopped being open about it after some kid in third grade made fun of me for it 💀

After that, I became self-conscious about it as I grew up, so I told myself I had to stop watching it. My parents still watch it though, and they tell me it's good, but I don't have the courage to start watching again 😭 Lately I wish I didn't do that cause now I feel like I'm missing out on the fun lmao- it was really fun to watch because they tend to have a deeper/darker meaning to them, even if it seems to be for younger audiences at first glance, which I find neat.

I don't really remember much from W, since I watched it way back when I was younger, but I remember the acting was great (I think the actor for Philip was only 15 at that time? I've seen that guy in other J-dramas and his acting is amazing). I remember liking W but I just don't really remember what it was about. Maybe I should revisit it sometime.

I think my favorite was Den-O. I'm pretty sure I've watched all of the heisei ones but I can't recall all of the good ones that I liked. I do remember liking the 3 last Heisei ones which I believe were Ghost, Exaid, and Build, but out of those 3, I think Ghost was the best.

ALSO YOU ARE SO RIGHT the kamen rider soundtracks tend to be bangers

Oops I kinda talked too much about myself LMAOA (I tried to shorten this the best I could. i really did. I DELETED 3 PARAGRAPHS LMAO)

No way you used to be a fan AS WELL. Now I feel a bit embarrassed for recommending stuff. Also Den-o is top tier. Deneb is probably one of my favourite kamen rider characters just for how funny he is.

To be fair I was more of a Power Rangers kid growing up. I started off watching mega force when it was still airing and religiously watched the reruns of older stuff like Dino Thunder, which was my favourite.

I stopped watching after a bit because man are kids RUTHLESS. Some of them made fun of me so I stopped watching for a bit. Luckily I have younger siblings who were watching the show up on it so I became a casual viewer, mostly watching for my siblings and then lying at school the next day.

The reason I got into Toku was actually because of a YouTuber that I was subscribed to. I had 0 clue what kamen rider was and they were praising fourze so I thought ‘I’ve seen jojo part 4, this is practically that with superheroes’ and then proceeded to watch the series. I then moved onto the other series like ooo, build,gaim,W,Den-o,ex-aid and blade.

Funny story about my watch through of blade is that I had no context for where most of the memes in the fanbase came from so I watched Blade to mainly understand everything. I had gotten up to the final arc but had to take a break since mock season was going on. When I finished I remember that I rushed home and decided to watch the last arc, despite being very tired. Yeah big mistake. Who knew a bench could make Astral cry but it did

I’m wondering right now what series to watch now. The smartest decision is to probably catch up to the latest season but I’m probably going to wait until it finishes to binge it. I’m torn on watching a late heisei era show or trying to see more early heisei works. I’ll do what I do best which is spin a wheel and decide what to watch lol.

Nooo man you don’t need to shorten down your thoughts. It’s fun reading this stuff and believe me I’ve been holding back from spamming the dashboard with my random Toku thoughts so you shouldn’t worry about if you’re saying too much. If you want to get back into it the newest season of kamen rider is around the corner so you could start getting back into it from there.

[retphienix]

I'm not sure if I should make this the finale post or not to be honest because I plan on playing some of the DLCs soon, so I'll make this a 'light' finale post because I'm sure I've said more than enough through my playthrough.

Morrowind genuinely surprised me. I heard all the oldguard TES fans saying it's way different and some claiming it was miles better.

Specifically I remember when Oblivion came out I heard from somewhere that Oblivion was just "dumbed down Morrowind" and kid me was like "What the heck are you talking about, Oblivion is the best game in the world (right now)???"

But man, they weren't wrong, but that's hardly what I'd point at in Morrowind in comparison.

Then again my memory of Oblivion is all rose tinted nostalgia and half memories.

What Morrowind is to me today is a fantastic fantasy game with some really interesting lore, a villain I love, a world that feels alien, troubled, imperfect and intriguing, and a gameplay cycle that felt really satisfying to me from the very start to roughly level 20 or so.

I REALLY like how pitiful and overwhelmed I felt at the start of this game- it felt fucking awesome to me and I know for some that's a weird statement and others it's the most obvious thing in the world but man is it true.

Level 1 in Morrowind as a newbie who doesn't know up from down is like waking up in the woods naked with the sound of hungry wolves all around you.

It's brutal, and exciting- every little victory- a potion, a new dagger, a new piece of armor- feels like the world to you.

I LOVED the early game in Morrowind, more than I ever liked it in Oblivion, Fallout 3, Fallout NV, Skyrim, or Fallout 4 (yeah I'm looping the bethesda engine NV in).

Because I constantly felt like I was punching up at a behemoth but I was getting away with it from time to time until I started to feel more on par with the behemoth, and eventually I overcame and hit end game and really became the behemoth and that was fun in its own right.

But I've been "mega end game god" in like 900 dang games at this point, it's always fun! And feeling like I earned it (like here) makes it feel better! But the journey often beats it and Morrowind's journey was so fun to me.

But yeah, beat the main quest. I did a lot in this game, and barely scratched the surface.

Beating it immediately made me think of how fun it would be to challenge myself to beat it- or another objective- right from the start without dumping hundreds of hours into leveling because that early game is a treat.

About the only things I didn't fully love were most of the quest designs showing their age.

Nothing super egregious, but there really was a lot of extremely simple "fetch thing" "Kill thing" "Walk to place" quests that didn't hold additional story value to make up for it.

Not to say simple is bad, but to say having a LOT of my playtime being killing various creatures for no real story reason beyond being asked to makes some actions feel pointless and like busy-work.

There were also quests that DID tie story in, which was really nice to see- things like inter-guild relations becoming a thing for some quests, or some quests having consequences further down the quest chain depending on how you completed it, and of course (as implied) some quests having multiple solutions with some of those solutions being interesting in how you find out about them.

I mean I think it's really neat how the fighter's guild has like 4 quest givers and if you blindly follow them you'll be doing all kinds of questionable stuff with questionable end goals, but if you talk to each of them you'll find that one of them is much more trustworthy and honorable than the rest, and it becomes a common loop to be sent on a quest for the FG and swing by him to ask if the quest sounds legit- AND MANY AREN'T! AND HE OFFERS ALTERNATIVE SOLUTIONS! THAT'S COOL AND LET'S YOU MAKE THE MISTAKE OF BEING TOO LOYAL AND FORGETTING YOUR MORALS BECAUSE YOU ARE "JUST PLAYING A GAME" BUT REWARDS YOU FOR QUESTIONING THAT LOYALTY AND SEEKING ALTERNATIVE SOLUTIONS! THAT'S AWESOME! Though the solution almost always being "just talk to the good guy before you do the quest" was slightly lacking, but such a cool idea.

But there wasn't a ton of this, but there also wasn't not a lot of this- it was an idea they clearly considered playing with and did when they could- I just wish there were both more and that it was used more on the menial tasks you're asked to do as well. I'm a sucker for multiple solutions is all, and consequences appearing later and altering how events play out or quests line up is always cool and I think it only happens a couple times in some guild quests if I'm not mistaken-

But again, I didn't do much in the grand scheme of things lol.

A TON of time invested and still, a metric fuckton to do including 100% of both expansions lol.

So- Morrowind. I really like this game :)

I think it's my favorite TES game, though I might change my mind whenever I revisit TES4, but I can at least say it's my favorite early game BY FAR and PROBABLY my favorite TES game.

I wonder if I can get buff enough to kill Dagoth Ur with like potion abuse. I haven't looked into it, all I know about him (and I knew before this gameplay also, I was just attacking out of curiosity) is that phase 2 rapidly regens health at like 2 billion a second or something, so you have to one shot him if at all possible.

Also I knew that he was supposed to be weaker depending on how many ash vampires you killed, but that that wasn't properly implemented (and I don't think the morrowind code patch bothers fixing it?).

Anywho- great game. I've been playing a lot of good games lately now that I think of it. I mean most of this blog is me playing good games, but I feel like, and I could be mistaken, but I feel like there was a stint there where I was playing "complicated" games and "games I don't enjoy but want to see the merit of so I'm being a sourpuss while I play".

Now I feel like the last 10 dang games were strictly good and or great. Can't say that's a bad thing :)

If you haven't ever played Morrowind before but you're familiar with say Skyrim, I'd honestly say give it a look. A look first- because it's a thick game to begin and you might be able to discern it's not for you based off a look- but a look none the less.

It's Skyrim with more RPG nonsense going on and a more brutal "rags to riches" hero story for your protag. Might be up your alley as much as it ended up being up mine :)

So up next is EITHER an entirely different game with some ocassional Morrowind posts as I touch on the expansions, or more direct Morrowind content as I emphasize the expansions until I finish them, but I'm leaning towards the former.

I think beating the main quest has earned Vaksten the Idiot a short break.

[carriagelamp]

April l was apparently the month for me to revisit some children’s authors who are steeped in controversy at the moment. So here’s my hot (well, lukewarm) takes on issues that absolutely do not need a single other person talking about them. Also some actual good books that I read this month!

Badger in the Basement

The Animal Ark books are a childhood classic — though I recently found out that apparently there’s a difference between American and British publications, and the American versions didn’t include a lot of actual COOL animals which is… bizarre. As a Canadian stuck in the middle of this, this nonsense drives me nuts. This one was about the main character, the daughter of pair of vets, trying to protect a local badger sett from men wanting to participate in badger digging and baiting. These books are always feel-good, and it was a nice single-day-read while I waited for a library book to come in.

Chi’s Sweet Home

The cutest manga series about the misadventures of a little kitten, Chi, who has been adopted by a loving family. I’ve never bothered to read them in order, but apparently this time I stumbled across the last in the series -- whoops! Still, stood on it’s own pretty easily, and it was a fun read! Things get tense when the family realize that they may have found Chi’s original home… and may have to give up Chi forever.

Earth Before Us: Dinosaur Empire!

This was an odd graphic novel, I feel like I’m not sure who the target audience was exactly. It was a nonfiction comic done in a Magic School Bus style, with the purpose of teaching current, up-to-date facts about the animals that lived in the Mesozoic Era. If you’re into dinosaurs, you’ll probably enjoy this! The art is absolutely adorable, I love the dinosaur illustrations, and I learnt some really neat facts. That being said, the pages are really dense, and there’s a lot of info crammed in… some of it will probably go way over a child’s head without specific additional teaching or a very strong personal interest. But that being said, a dinosaur obsessed kid is still probably going to really dig this… as would a dinosaur obsessed adult. It wasn’t my cup of tea exactly but I’m sure it is someone’s.

assorted Dr Seuss Books

I love these types of controversies because it means getting to listen to every moron who has never had an opinion on Dr Seuss ever start generating a mile of them out of the aether. So many people are so mad about the six books that are getting retired and I bet most of them haven’t even read them. These are not the friggin Cat In The Hat or The Lorax or even the likes of Yertle The Turtle. I was raised by a grade one teacher, was a voracious reader who loved Dr Seuss, and wrote my university thesis on children’s literature, and I still only knew two of the six books on that list. So by all means, if you want to write an essay explaining why those specific books are worth clinging to, feel free, but if you haven’t even heard of them maybe it’s not a big deal. *grumble*

Anyway, my grousing aside, it gave me the urge to reread a bunch of Seuss books, including the two retiring books I personally knew: McElligot’s Pool and To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street. I do still enjoy both, especially McElligot’s Pool which always sparked my imagination, but it’s obvious why they’re being retired and I personally think it’s the right choice. There’s so much good kidlit out there, we can survive without these.

Goodbye, My Rose Garden

A f/f romance manga, fairly standard fair though cute if you’re looking for some historical angst, pretty dresses, and mutual pining. A young Japanese woman moves to England in the hopes of meeting a writer (Mr Frank) who she has long admired. Along the way she is employed by an enigmatic woman with plenty of money, rumours, and melancholy following her. I’ll be honest, uncut romance isn’t really my genre, but I’ll probably still try to the second book to see if the story picks up.

From The Holocaust to Hogan’s Heroes: The Autobiography of Robert Clary

It’s no secret that I’ve been on a Hogan’s Heroes kick. This is the autobiography of Roberty Clary, who plays my favourite character in the show, Louis Lebeau. And holy shit what a life this man has had. He was a Jew growing up in France before the start of the war, and who was one of many children taken away from his family and sent off to the concentration camps in Germany. This was an amazing, intense, inspiring, and heartbreaking read… it has Clary’s voice all over it, and it tells everything from the charming childhood he had, to the horrors of the concentration camps, the brutality of survival, and then about his exciting journey into the entertainment industry afterwards. It’s an experience, would recommend if you’re a fan of the show.

The Ickabog

The second controversial author I read this month. Originally I was going to give Rowling’s new book a miss, given everything that’s been going on over the past few years, but in the end my curiosity got the better of me. Politics aside, it was a fun read! Not groundbreaking, but enjoyable enough and written in an interesting style. It didn’t read the same as a lot of modern kidlit, it felt more like a cross between a classic fairytale and a Dahl book. Perhaps a bit like Despereaux. It tells the tale of how an idyllic country gradually falls into ruin through the ignorance, inaction, and greed, and how a supposedly fictional monster hides the very real, human monsters at the heart of the country. It was cute and pleasant and I’m glad I decided to get it from the library, though for anyone who is choosing not to engage for political reasons: you aren’t missing anything major.

Franklin In The Dark

A Canadian classic. I don’t think there’s a single person my age who hasn’t read or been read a pile of these books, and the nostalgia is so comforting. I found this on Youtube and listened to someone read it to me, and honestly 10/10 would recommend for a calm evening.

The big reason I decided to seek this one out though, was because I finally got to the M*A*S*H episode that inspired this entire series! In the episode C*A*V*E, in which Hawkeye is freaking out over his claustrophia while the camp is forced to take shelter in a nearby cave during some intense shelling, he mentions that if he had been born a turtle he would have been afraid of his own shell, and that the other turtles would make fun of him cause he’d be forced to walk around in his underwear. And so this first story about a young turtle who’s afraid to sleep in his own shell and drags it around behind him. So if you were ever curious, Franklin the Turtle is in fact named after Dr Benjamin Franklin Pierce. (this is also why the French version is named Benjamin!)

Wolves of the Beyond: Lone Wolf

I loved the Guardians of Ga’Hoole books as a kid but I never read the Wolves of the Beyond series. This first book was an interesting read, Lasky does a great job creating worlds and societies for the animals that inhabit them. Lone Wolf is about a deformed wolf cub who was abandoned in the wilderness to die. And he would have, if a desperate mother bear, who had recently had her only cub killed, hadn’t stumbled across him and saved him, vowing to raise him as her own...

Petals

A “silent” graphic novel. It has beautiful artwork and is told entirely through pictures, no text at all. It’s loves and heart-wrenching, though it left me feeling somewhat unsatisfied… I felt like there should have been more. Still, a neat story.

The Southern Book Club‘s Guide To Slaying Vampires

What a banger of a novel!! I can’t recommend this one enough. It’s about a group of suburban mothers in the ‘80s who form a book club out of a shared need for community and a love of grisly true crime novels. But when a strange drifter appears in town and starts setting down roots… and when children begin disappearing… these women need to band together to confront the horrors that have invaded their neighbourhood, and face down not only a terrifying monster among them but the patriarchal system that allows it to flourish. To quote the preface:

“Because vampires are the original serial killers, stripped of everything that makes us human — they have no friends, no family, no roots, no children. All they have is hunger. They eat and eat but they’re never full. With this book, I wanted to pit a man freed from all responsibilities but his appetites against women whose lives are shaped by their endless responsibilities. I wanted to pit Dracula against my mom.    As you’ll see, it’s not a fair fight.“

The Weirn Books: Be Wary of the Silent Woods

I love Chmakova’s graphic novels, though I’ve only ever read her slice-of-life middle grade series before. This one is pure fantasy and very fun. It’s about two cousin “weirns” — witches with demon familiars — who attend the local night school. Things get strange though when an ominous figure appears outside the old, abandoned school house deep in the Silent Woods, and begins tempting children down its path…

I’m very much looking forward to word of a second book and was honestly kind of surprised that I haven’t heard more about this book given how popular her other series is. This has all the same charm and quirks but for those of us who prefer stories based in fantasy rather than reality.

And A Bonus...

For some masochistic reason I got a Garfield book out of the library. Jeez, if I didn’t love these as a kid, I found them absolutely laugh out loud hilarious, and now I just don’t see it anymore. But here I will share the one strip in the book that actually made me laugh

[neoyi]

Back again with another Kingdoms Heart II talky time. What is this, the fourth? Fifth installment? Any who, I’m covering Sora’s revisits to Beast’s Castle, Chin- er, sorry, Land of Dragons, Olympus, Agrabah, Halloween/Christmas Town, and Pride Rock.

*I love that Kingdom Hearts Belle is only so restraint with her annoyance over Organization XIII’s bullshit. She’s already pissed when Xaldin interrupts her big ballroom dance out with the Beast (”not tonight!”), then when Xaldin kidnaps her and threatens the Beast, she elbows the man in response (the music even stops just to emphasize the impact of what she’s done), sporting an absolute shit-eating grin in the process.

Belle is Queen Shit.

*I see The Beast has mastered the Team Rocket School of Quick Changing Clothing. He’s somehow able to switch from his dance outfit to his standard tattered cape and pants between Heartless surrounding them and just before they do battle. What talent.

*Having Marluxia’s - that pretentious rose-spewing jackass - insignia inside Beast’s Castle is apropos.

*I get keeping the Organization XIII members in their hoods is to preserve their mysteries and build anticipation (it’s less about Who They Could Beeee as it is wondering what they look like and what personality/skills are associated with them), but as someone who sometimes has trouble distinguishing things, having to parse out who is speaking to who when they all look identical is kind of hard....They really could have killed for more women in the Org, I’m just saying.

*Oh shit, I forgot how hot Xigbar was. In terms of sexiness, it’s a toss-up between him and Luxurd.

*Oh yes, that eye patch does do things to me. <3

*It is super cute that Mulan asked the Emperor if Shang could have a vacation.

*I think it fits that at some point in Hercules’ life, he’s going to feel burnt out from being a hero without any rest. It’s kind of nice to see this game explore that a bit.

*I haven’t played FFX in a long time, but I think some of the dialogue Auron spouts when Sora picks up his Heart Doll doohickey are from or carry shades from his time during. It’s obviously just meant to pay lip service to his canon role, but I kind of like the Don’t-Take-It-Seriously-Theory that the Auron in Kingdom Hearts ended up in Hades’ realm (maybe he took a wrong turn in Albuquerque on his way to Spira’s whatever-the-fuck-metaphysical-afterlife-is.) I guess if there’s one game series where multibverse traverse is logical, it’d be Kingdom Hearts. 

I’ve looked at this artwork of Sora many times over the years and this part of his outfit still baffles me. What are those baggy red things attached to his hips? Are they cushioned to protect a part of his body in case he gets tossed by an enemy? Is it the same with his shoulder guards or are those even shoulder guards and not just clothing that happen to look like shoulder guards? Like, are the red bags bags? Does Sora pack his essentials in them? Toothbrush? Snack bar? Keys to the Gummi Ship????

*If Hercules’ doubt is part and parcel of being a hero to many, Sora’s obsession to be defined as one in Olymupus Coliseum feel redundant and backwards. Didn’t the first Kingdom Hearts established that bearing the moniker of a hero is not reflective of your character, but through your actions? Sora’s a goofball, but apparently that lesson didn’t seem to stick, causing him to obsess over labels he only cares about for this world and this world only.

*Revisiting Port Royal and I’m only just realizing Sora can kill pirates in this game. They’re undead, but they’re that way because of a curse, otherwise they were living and have the capability to live again. I don’t know if I can process this kid having murdered like hundreds of Actual, By Technicality, Living Humans.

*I like how Jack describes the audacity of Organization XIII’s motives that it makes pirates look kind and spoke with a tone as if he’s offended. Pirates have a nasty reputation to live for and those jackasses in black hoods are taking all their creds.

*Luxurd is the other Hot Organization XIII member, and he may be my personal favorite. He’s got that sauve, roguish quality I like in a character. In another universe, he might have been a risky, gambling-his-life Lovable Rouge Pirate and damn if I wouldn’t eat that story up.

*Whenever Donald and Goofy is out of your party, they sometimes circle around to each other and chat and I think that’s adorable. Nice attention to detail.

*Tragically, unlike Belle who got a bit more to do in her world, Jasmine’s expanded role in KHII doesn’t amount to a hill of beans. She gets to be voiced by her original actress, but that’s about the extent of it.

*I don’t know if this was an intended foreshadowing or just the product of Cool Boss Fight, but Sora constantly dodging and reflecting crumbles of building away from Genie Jafar does end up coming back in the final boss fight. Arguably cooler than this one, but you can see it as Sora applying what he’s learned since then.

*If Genie is capable of fixing Agrabah and improving on it, then man, I think Aladdin should let him. Like don’t drastically alter it to alienate the townsfolk, but consult with the Sultan and Jasmine and improve the homes of thousands of impoverished people. Come on, Aladdin, you’re gonna rule these people, and you were once a street rat. Use your position for good!

*I’m a tad worried about Sora’s stick arms. Kid, you eating alright? Is Donald and Goofy giving you proper nourishment?

*At the second half of the game, Kingdom Hearts II really ramps up the Sora/Kairi and how you feel about it likely depends upon your preference for the pairing or not. I actually think they’re adorable as heck and I think a lot of why is that Sora, unlike a lot of other shonen protagonist that his archetype resembles, is far from clueless about his affection for her or even dismissive of her. No, he thinks of her all the goddamn time. He’s ridiculously in love with her that an average teenager can give and that’s such a wholesome thing that almost any scenario where he’s thinking of her really shines a spot on his character. This despite the fact that, well, there really isn’t a whole lot of on the Why they like each other, they just do because they’re the main male and female protagonist (which is why I get people rolling their eyes at the pairing, it is a bog-standard heteronormative relationship.)

*I think it's a good and logical point that Simba still carries doubt shortly after the events of The Lion King. Scar's ghost looming over him filling him with manipulative thoughts and his people especially doubting his kingly moniker because he's not the Great Mufasa is something Simba would likely be compared to. However could Simba compete with Mufasa, a beloved and competent King?

*I think this is the first time the game has ever shown a canon Disney character getting the Heartless treatment and man, this is a cool concept I kind of wished they did more of. I mean, maybe they did? I haven’t played any KH game after this. I hear Hans turns into one in KH3.

*There's a mild subplot between Cid and Merlin where they both clash over Technology vs. Magic. I know Disney Merlin did complain about the future (read: 1960s contemporary when the movie first came out) once he finished his brief sabbatical there, but as someone who's aged backwards, you'd think he'd have a better appreciation for tech.

...Then again, maybe he saw how invasive smart devices have gotten in the 21st century in which case, okay, fair, you are right to complain.

[purplesurveys]

1264

Who are you subscribed to on YouTube?  Oh man, I’m probably subscribed to over a hundred, if not 200. I’ve subscribed to channels relevant to interests I’ve had over the years, and since it’s not my habit to do spring cleaning on my feeds, the subscriptions have just keep piling up even if I no longer keep up with literally like 98% of them.

Do you like to go to the farmer's market?  I don’t think I’ve ever been in one yet. They aren’t very common here and the ones we do have are pricey and mostly inaccessible to the everyday consumer, I’m sure.

What will (or was) the color of your wedding dress be?  I wouldn’t want any other color than white.

What's your favorite melon?  I don’t like fruits.

What was the name of the last pet of yours that died?  Arlee. Technically my family mostly considered her as just Nina’s pet, but the sting was felt all the same when we learned she died.

When was the last time you wished the day would just get over with?  Yesterday, because it was Friday. Pretty self-explanatory, I wanted to get to the weekend so I can finally let go of work for a couple of days.

Name one person you've never had a fight with:  Andi. I think we’re both afraid of pissing the other off, which works out for us lol.

What are you currently listening to?  I can just hear the really loud whirring of my electric fan because it’s a grossly humid day today.

What would you rather have: cat or dog?  Dogs.

Who is your least favorite person in real life?  I have a lot of uncles I just don’t like.

Do you ever watch anybody's live stream of... anything, really?  Technically, yeah. I will sometimes tune in to livestreams of lofi music on YouTube, but I do it to listen, not to watch. 

Does your house have security cameras?  No.

If you go grey as you age, would you dye your hair or let it be?  I think I might dye it for a certain period of time, but I also think I would eventually reach the point where I’ll just accept it and slowly let go of the dye.

What was the last establishment you stopped going to due to bad service? What happened?  I haven’t run into much bad service, but I’ll never forget how long my order and bill took for Mad Mark’s. I never really vowed per se to never go back there again and I definitely didn’t confront the staff, but I haven’t eaten there since that incident.

What soundtrack do you listen to the most?  Not a big soundtrack listener.

Was there a family secret you weren’t told about until you were an adult?  Nah, they’re kept from us until now. The biggest one I’ve heard about was having a kleptomaniac in the family but we were never told who it is.

Do you have an opinion most people you meet seem to disagree with you?  Yeah, my dislike for fruits.

What’s something you like to have many options to choose from?  Clothes, I guess, like bucket hats. I don’t shop a lot and clothes aren’t a priority in my budget, so when I do pick out clothes, it has to be exactly what I want so that I don’t feel it was a waste of money.

What’s the strangest decorative object you own?  We have several quirky, disconnected decor in the living room from gifts we’ve acquired over the years. One object I can tell you about is the polar bear glass figurine we have on the coffee table.

What’s a thing you couldn’t imagine doing with your life right now?  Dating around.

What’s been your proudest moment?  Managing to stay alive this year and turn my life around for the better when I thought there was no hope.

What’s the filthiest non-pornographic movie you’ve seen?  Eyes Wide Shut, probably.

Do you know anyone who doesn't seem to be fond of animals?  I don’t think so. Like any animal...? I would find that quite odd, honestly. And I wouldn’t want to be friends with them if we weren’t already close .

Are you planning any outings or trips anytime soon? Whereabouts?  No, nothing set in stone. I do want to fly out to South Korea soon, though.

Do you know anyone who has a phobia of a certain animal?  I know a few people who are afraid of dogs.

Is there a particular brand of technology/electronics that you prefer?  Yeah, Apple.

Is there a singer whose voice gives you goosebumps/chills?  Hayley Williams and Jin, especially when he’s belting; and I don’t listen to her much, but I find that Billie Eilish has a unique voice that sounds really nice.

And is there a singer whose voice you simply can't stand?  Selena Gomez for some of her songs, Meghan Trainor for most of her songs.

Are there any authors that are particularly dominant on your bookshelf?  No.

Have you seen any photographs or videos that made you smile today?  Sure.

Which item in your fridge are you most looking forward to consuming? My aunt sent over this gigantic-ass slab of salmon that I can’t wait to eat as sashimi. I already had a few pieces last night and it was hea ven ly.

Has anyone you know got into a new relationship lately?  Hmm, I don’t think so. I know my coworker Dev got into a relationship a few weeks ago but it fizzled out as soon as it started because the guy was shitty.

If you menstruate, do you experience much PMS prior to it?  Only on the emotional side; I rarely get physical symptoms. I usually feel down or emotionally heavy a few days before my period.

Have you ever had a tattoo covered up or added to?  No, I don’t have any tattoos. Can you remember the last time you had a sudden change of mind?  Hmm, like last night. I wanted to stay up to maximize the weekend, buuuut I decided against it and slept instead since I had been up since 2 in the morning.

When was the last time you did something on a whim?  Two weeks ago when I impulsively dropped a thousand bucks to have cheese tarts delivered to Angela and Reena, hahaha.

Were you raised by both of your parents? If not, then who raised you?  My mom, grandma, and one of my aunts were the main people who raised me. Dad works overseas, so he was never at home much.

Have you ever began a relationship with someone you knew for less than a week?  No, I wouldn’t do that.

Has one of your friends ever tried to ‘hook you up?’  Mik tried to pair me with one of his friends just days before I finally implied on social media that I was no longer in a relationship. It was a cool ego boost but I declined, since my emotions were still super turbulent then. Andi tried to initiate sex with me once too, but I also declined.

What is your card game of choice?  I hate card games; I can never seem to understand them lmao, though that’s really more of a me problem than anything else.

What is your favourite books series?  Growing up, I really loved the Septimus Heap series. But the thing about it was that I got into it while the series was still ongoing; and with how bad my attention span is, I always forgot the events/plot whenever the newest book came out. 

So whenever that happened I had to read the entire series from Book 1; eventually the number of books I had to reread/revisit became too many (it was a seven-part series) and I simply just lost the time to read and I never got to know about the conclusion.

Do you prefer landmarks or street names when being given directions?  Street names – more precise. Landmarks to me can be pretty subjective – a green building might look blue to me, and I could just end up being lost.

Do you read the prologues in the beginnings of books?  Sure.

What was your favourite gym class moment?  If I genuinely like or already play the sport that was being taught. That’s why PE table tennis was a lot of fun for me.

Do you think that ocean boardwalks are fun?  I’ve never been on one but I imagine they are fun, yeah.

Do you dread when people ask you to sign their yearbooks?  That’s not a tradition here.

Do you have a favourite Scooby-Doo movie?  No. I was too young for Scooby-Doo in a sense that I do remember watching the movies as a 3/4 year old as they were kept on in the background at home, but I didn’t get any of the plots/didn’t really appreciate the films.

Do you think it’s cute when toddlers try to run away and fall down?  Sometimes, yeah. If the fall looked nasty I would obviously be concerned.

Do you enjoy listening to your grandparents tell stories of their past?  Honestly, only one of my grandparents would be the type to do this but he’s been dead for six years now. It’s a big shame he passed before I could bond with him the way I had always wanted to. My three other grandparents are either too closed off or too quiet to share stories from their youth.

Do you have a crush on someone? Nah, nothing more than a celebrity crush.

If so... what does his/her name begin with? 

What attracts you to them? 

Do they know that you like them? 

If they don't know, why didn't you tell them? 

Name two people that you miss:  Angela and Laurice.

Have you ever seen Titanic?  More times than I can count. I’m sure I memorize like 80% of the script, too.

Have you ever swam with dolphins?  No. I’m not so sure if I’ve seen dolphins, either. Maybe I have? Or maybe I’m confusing it with whales...idrk.

When was the last time you had a stomachache?  Wednesday.

What's going to bed early for you?  11 PM or midnight.

Do you want to have a big family in the future?  I used to, but I don’t think that’s the future I want anymore. One or two kids should be okay.

What was the last thing you did that gave you a rush?  Technically speaking, an orgasm, I guess?? Lmao idk

Favorite Nicholas Cage movie?  I don’t think I have one.

Have you had your Covid vaccine yet? Which one, if you have?  Yeah, I’m fully dosed. Sinovac.

If you've had your vaccine, did you experience any side effects?  I was suuuuuuper tired right after my first dose and I wanted to be knocked the fuck out, but I went right back to work after the shot because I am allergic to filing leaves hahaha. Second dose went smoothly.

What's the next item of clothing that you intend to buy for yourself?  A bucket hat or maybe one of the Fila x BTS shirts because the collection is actually quite cute!

What Facebook groups have you found the most helpful?  I join Facebook groups to be entertained, not because I actively look for advice.

Do you like your butt? Why or why not?  Yeah. It...has a good form hahahahahaha.

Have you ever personally been a victim of homophobia?  Yes, a few years ago I went to a food park with my ex-girlfriend. I was already not feeling my best that day to begin with, so having to see an old woman stare daggers at us for what felt like years really stung. I felt small under her look and almost cried, but in the end I felt angry that I momentarily felt shame about my relationship. I decided to just piss the woman off on purpose and do PDA right in front of her.

Do you think you’d be happier if you had a pet? I have two dogs at present and I know they make me extremely happy.

Who was the last person you went on a date with?  Gabie.

Were you ever hospitalized as a little kid?  No. The first and only time I was hospitalized (other than being birthed), I was about 12, I think.

What’s your favorite way to curl your hair?  I don’t do that. I rarely style my hair.

At what age did you start swearing?  I was 11.

What is something you physically can’t do?  Ride a bike.

What do like better, apples or oranges?  I don’t like any fruits; but in terms of flavored stuff, I like orange-flavored food, especially chewy candy, slightly more.

Around the holidays, do you hope for snow?  Well, no.

What are your top two favorite bands?  Paramore and Against Me!

How many people do you 100% trust?  There are a handful. I generally trust easily just because I like to believe all people are kind and loyal – but I can also take it away in the snap of a finger.

Do you care what others think about you?  Not so much.

Has anyone ever called you a bitch?  Sure.

Did you watch Teletubbies when you were younger?  Yeah but just super super faint memories. It wasn’t one of my main shows.

Do you have any licenses other than your driver's license?  I don’t.

Could you live the rest of your life without eating meat?  I doubt it. I could try, but I think I’d get cranky and start looking for meat way earlier than I would like to admit.

Have you ever had a rolling backpack?  Yup, if you mean a stroller. I think I’ve answered this on a previous survey.

Did you make any money today?  No, because it’s a weekend. What was the highest place you've ever jumped from?  Nothing dramatically high. I’ve had acrophobia-themed nightmares in the past, so even though I don’t actually have a fear of heights, the idea of jumping from a high place still makes me antsy.

Have you ever gone swimming in a river?  Not that I can recall.

What was the last souvenir someone got you?  I dunno if it counts but Andi bought merch from the AEW shop but made sure to also get a CM Punk sticker set for me :(

Do you have a favorite remix of a song?  Remixes have never been my thing. What do you think is the most saddest sounding instrument?  Piano.

Do you really pay attention to the ratings on movies?  Yeah they can definitely affect the level of appreciation I hold towards a film. For instance, if I genuinely enjoyed a movie only to find out it has average to bad reviews, it invites me to think more critically about the movie.

Do you have a favorite species of wild cat (tiger/lion/cougar/etc.)?  No.

If you had $500,000, what would you do with it?  Give half to my parents and let them do whatever they wish it. With the remaining P12,500,000, I’d probably get myself my own condo and have it fully furnished, then get braces, then get a new phone and laptop. I’ll have a bunch of money still left, I’m pretty sure – the rest of it I’ll save.

Did the last person you touched lips with have a kid?  No. I mean, I have honestly no clue what’s going on in her life now, but I know she doesn’t want kids so this is very unlikely.

"First loves are never really over." Is this true for you?  It’s true in a sense that she left me a lot of trauma and self-esteem issues that will irrevocably always be a part of me now even though I’ve worked hard to resolved most of them by myself.

Did you like Michael Jackson before he died?  Yes, because he has always been my favorite singer’s role model.

What are some things that would make you break up with someone?  I don’t know how to answer this question, honestly. All the red flags were thrown and tossed and slapped into my face and down my throat for six years yet I never left. I don’t actually know what my limits are, and I believe it’s because my coping mechanism has to just accept things and suck them up no matter how bad they get. That’s what I’m trying to change for myself now.

What was the worst breakup you've ever had?  I’ve had two breakups with the same person, and the second one was worse.

[ubemango]

commission 4: slow burn/best friends/college au w/  jin

(+or: we’re best friends and you’re literally So Great and i suck at knowing what i want but anyway i’m starting to think i like you ??????? au)

note 1: For my very very sweet and understanding friend @yeuj​ who helped me out when I needed it most .... I hope you enjoy 🥺🥺💕!!!!!! And thank you to Micah + Clove for helping me with my questions—thank you for your thoughtfulness, insight, and love!!!!! 🌷🌷🌷

note 2: I tried to make ramen-making as unboring as possible but it really is just....water and spice. If you’re confused about eating ramen at convenience stores please search that up on Youtube, I’ve exhausted my link resource skills (except for when I want you to listen to songs.) Also, the songs I mention are titanic/the end by cehryl and Subside by Eloise. I actually listened to Sweet Night on repeat while writing this so if u wanna listen to that... ;_;

note 3: everything about this story is in medias res. I realized I had no proper beginning or conclusion and I didn’t wanna change the flow of the story by concretely adding one or the other... so if the story feels incomplete/fragmented then please understand that this was a conscious and intentional decision done on my part :,) It’s slow burn!!!! I Love you ha ha!!

(i)

The library is open twenty four hours. The convenience store in the student centre is not.

“Please use your car,” you assert.

Seokjin huffs. “Then pay for my gas.”

It’s an empty threat. He’s got no business driving hard bargains when he has capital in the form of a rich CEO dad. He ignores your glaring, calmly closing his laptop, shoving it into his bag. Closing up shop after a derivative crisis you’d called him up for because he lives on campus, plus he never sleeps early. You appreciate that he gives into you so easily.

“Fine.”

So you go, searching for a convenience store that has those instant noodles you suddenly came up with a craving for this late at night. Seokjin’s used to it by now. You get things done when you want to, even if it means making a home of the pillowy chairs in the library you’d claimed for studying purposes.

The mathematical theory of chaos. You don’t want to think about it, and you click your seatbelt with a yell, throw your bag in the backseat with as much strength your anger allows for. “I hate school!”

“Please don’t scream in the car.”

“I hate it!”

Seokjin slots the key in. “Can you look up where the convenience store is?”

He tosses you his phone to unlock. You jab at the screen with more grumbling and colourful cursing, pulling up whatever Google Maps says is the nearest store open.

“Plug in the AUX cord,” Seokjin urges next. He merges into traffic, which is really only one car and the late night bus. A quiet night for your suffering.

“Can I play my—“

“Nope.” You sneer. Tapping open his playlists, you pass under orange lamp post after orange lamp post and scroll in silence before Seokjin groans. “I made a new playlist, pick that one.”

“What’s it called?”

You can see that he’s stiffened up. You don’t comment. “The one with the three heart emojis.”

Simple enough. You don’t care to sift through the songs, and the first one plays with one more indulgent tap of the screen.

Why don’t you tell her? I think you should. You know how you’re feeling, you can’t fight the truth…

Google interrupts the soft voice with the indication of the next right. Seokjin eases on the gas pedal. You watch him nod his head to the softness of the stereo. “I can’t pay for your gas.”

“I know you can’t.”

“I can pay for your ramen,” you suggest. Seokjin makes a quiet noise, like he’s amused by your generosity, or maybe he just thinks you’re dumb. You think it’s the latter.

“I don’t want you to pay for my ramen.”

“Then what do you want?”

The lamp post light striking Seokjin’s face gives way to the harsh red of the stoplight. In the stillness, he sends you a hard look. It makes you feel weirdly vulnerable, like he’s stripped you bare.

To make things worse, Seokjin says:

“Nothing you don’t want to give me.”

He doesn’t heed your confusion because he presses on the gas, looks straight ahead. You do too, and you try not to contemplate the cool brevity of his attention you suddenly want back. You push your uncertainty aside.

(He has a handsome face, you think.)

Seokjin interrupts, “So why’d you wait till now to study?”

“You know me.” Procrastination. The complete and utter mistake of underestimating the allotted time needed to get a successful grasp of concepts for your midterm. In not so convoluted terms, this class sucks ass.

“Yeah but that was—a lot of notes.”

It was. You probably pushed five weeks of material in the span of three hours. You can feel the very tips of your nervous system frying up as you pass through gas station-lit intersections. But there’s a real answer to his question, and you have the intense need to curl in on yourself in this leather seat.

“Well I would have started yesterday, but I was busy,” you counter.

“With what?”

“So you know Hyukjae from Psych?”

Seokjin pauses to listen to Google’s instructions, and immediately makes a left onto another main intersection. “Sure.”

“We went out yesterday,” you admit.

He hums a tight sound, tapping on the wheel. “Hm. How’d it go?”

It wasn’t bad. You shared butter tarts and laughed at his anecdotes and Hyukjae-from-Psych paid for your Uber home. He gave you a very weak hug before you slipped into the car. It was in that seat you’d decided you wouldn’t be sending him an I had fun! text that night.

“It was okay. Like, nice to me and stuff. But nothing…”

“…Worth revisiting.”

“Sure,” you mimic, and you wonder why he’s right.

“The guy’s okay,” he says. Almost like it’s with relief. “It’s—not to sound rude, but. Uh. I think it’s, uh—good. That you weren’t… interested.”

You think he’s gripping the steering wheel a little too tight. “Why?”

“Can’t trust guys with bad handshakes.” Seokjin chances a glance at you, and laughs at the confused scrunch of your eyebrows. “I met him during that networking conference in third year. Limp-wristed me. Like a chump.”

“Ew.” You can’t say he’s wrong. That hug Hyukjae gave you really was weak. The dude has noodles for arms. “But yeah, I guess you’re right. Wasn’t really my type.”

“Hm,” is all Seokjin comes up with. You watch him pass right through the turn Google tells him to take. “Oh shit. Sorry. I’m just. Thinking. About… limp… men.”

You snort. “What?”

“Like a man. A limp man. Hyukjae. Not me,” he clarifies fast—proudly— “just. Anyway! Back to you saying what your type was.”

“I wasn’t,” you accuse.

“Yeah well now I’m asking because I don’t wanna think about limp men. Your type, please.”

He sounds weirdly inquisitive. Demanding, almost. You chalk it up to the near-delirium of being awake past 1AM.

“I—don’t know,” you start. Somehow you feel like you’re messing something up. “He was kind, I like… kind. And soft. Sweet. You know Kim Taehyung? From Neuro? Like, almost big shoulders but not really. I like big shoulders. Yeah. Guys like Kim Taehyung-ish.”

Seokjin just hums again. There’s another song playing, and you don’t know how many you’ve rotated through in this playlist. You didn’t think it’d take this long to get to the store.

Google says it’s just two minutes away now. Seokjin says, “Cool,” and then sings along to the stereo.

You got me losing sleep over you… I usually sit still but now I can’t help but move… When I see you, I don’t know what to do…

(ii)

“Spicy or not spicy?”

“Whatever keeps my stomach lining intact,” Seokjin says.

You don’t say anything more and grab two of whatever ramen packaging isn’t scarily red. The convenience store is void of any customers, and the cashier rings you up with a very sour face for interrupting the show he’s got playing on his phone. His face shrivels up even more because all you can pay with is coins. Seokjin laughs behind you when you apologize for clattering the dimes too harshly on the counter.

“Enjoy,” the cashier announces, and he doesn’t mean it one bit.

The hot water machine at the back is a very intimidating thing next to the tiny display of cookies.  Too many buttons and knobs you don’t understand, so Seokjin takes on the chivalric role and prepares everything for you. He rips the plastic open with gentle hands. Dumps the powder with too much conviction.

You both watch the water stream hot into the noodles. “Do you like macadamia nuts in your cookies?”

“I guess,” you say.

“Wanna split a cookie?” He hands you chopsticks to stir the ramen with, gestures at the cookie display with a jut of his chin.

“Are you paying?”

“Can you imagine if I made you pay after I asked to split,” Seokjin spits at you. “Yes I’m paying.”

“Then I want chocolate chip.”

He freezes, then jabs smartly at his noodles for a tense ten seconds.

“You make me mad,” he finally answers. “Should we eat in the car?”

“The bowl is too hot to hold.”

The counter at the window it is. You’re sad that you didn’t buy pickled radish, but your coin purse has weeped all its coinage out. Seokjin leaves you as Noodle Guard, going off to pay for that bonus cookie with a crumpled five. In the next second you contemplate the evaporation of ramen soup, the cookie is duly dumped right next to you, and Seokjin takes a huge bite of what still appears to be extremely hot noodles.

He promptly chokes, and makes sputtering noises.

“Holy shit,” Seokjin cries.

You take a much, much slower bite. “You’ll be fine.”

“I thought I could be cool for you,” he cries some more.

“You don’t need to be cool for me. Who eats ramen in a cool way?”

Seokjin nods his approval, that tear of theatrics sliding down his cheekbone. He eats carefully. A noisy car roils on outside, and passes quickly outside your periphery.

“Thank you for bringing me here,” you remember to say.

“I love standing at counters and eating things hot,” Seokjin retorts. He dodges the fist you aim at his abdomen with swift ease. “It’s no problem.”

“I—“ You don’t really know why but you need to talk. “You know—you’re really, um, kind.”

Foolery. Absolute foolery that sentence was, and the cashier probably heard that foolery, and Seokjin definitely heard that absolute foolery, and he’s laughing. Like really laughing, caught with the noodles dangling from in-between his teeth. That’s all you had to say? The guy drove you out to get cup noodles out of his own volition. That’s kindness maxed out, and he deserves better than you fumbling between your teeth. Your nerves have fried up so bad, you guess.

Seokjin’s giggles dwindle down. “Thanks,” he says, smiling small.

You blame the heat of your cheeks from the heat of your soup.

Neither of you are desperate to get to that last quarter of noodles to broth ratio. The knots of your shoulders loosen with the sound of your slurping combined, and silently you are reminded of Seokjin’s warmth, standing so close to you.

The easiest path to a nice ending involves a happy belly and Seokjin driving you home with nothing more than a goodbye and a thank-you as you slam the car door shut. This is not unknown to you, because you and Hyukjae-from-Psych took that easy path yesterday.

You just don’t do this often, contemplating all the routes of romance. When is it appropriate to laugh at a joke, to wipe your mouth on the napkin? To smile and peel at your heart and grant that person access to all your inner workings? You belatedly notice that Seokjin did not bring napkins.

(The moment in the car—nothing you don’t want to give me—you want to laugh at his jokes, and smile, peel and peel and peel at your heart, but slowly. Slowly, you put your chopsticks down.)

How funny it is to come to very sound conclusions within a split second, because all you know is that it feels good, being with him like this.

Seokjin, in your quiet realization, takes it upon himself to decide the cookie-eating rights.

“Want the first bite?” He asks, propping the chopsticks horizontally on his bowl.

You nod. Desperately you try not to look at him because you might make more realizations, and you don’t think you’re ready for any more unleashed and unknown emotions. “Please.”

He gives it to you. The right side decidedly has more chocolate chips, and  it’s a very nice explosion on your tongue. So nice you groan into it. “Oh that’s really good.”

He snatches the cookie away before you can take another bite. “I get bigger bites because I paid for it.”

“That—? Uh, that’s not how sharing works.”

“Yes it does,” Seokjin argues. But he just takes as normal a bite as ever. You can’t say you don’t focus on his mouth for too long, though—

—And you immediately seize up at the thought. Horrified, you shriek: “Actually just—have the rest of it!”

He looks alarmed. “O…kay?”

“You’ve got a nice mouth,” you blurt out next.

An absolutely awful feeling settles heavy in your stomach. Because almost immediately you realize that this is a kind and soft boy with nice anecdotes that have yet to be uncovered this night (he likes telling you stories) and he’s got wider shoulders than Kim Taehyung and you’re not sharing butter tarts but you’re sharing a cookie with him.

Another realization: does Seokjin have limp arms?

He puts the cookie down. (His arm looks very strong, doing that.) “I—thanks?”

“I think I’m losing my mind,” you note.

He watches you slump over the counter. Purposefully burying your face in your elbows to muffle your betraying mouth. “It’s late,” is all he says.

“Did that make you uncomfortable?”

“Not at all.” You don’t think you’re breathing. Your lungs have evaporated, like those steamy ramen noodles you just ate. Seokjin probably notices you’ve stopped moving, so he says, “Really.”

“Okay.”

“Did it—did it make you uncomfortable?”

“Not at all,” you say.

“Cool. Do you wanna go—“

You stand up straight, grab all your garbage before he finishes. You don’t look at him. “Yep, yep, please.”

(iii)

He puts the key in the ignition, and doesn’t budge.

“Somehow I feel like you wanna say something else,” Seokjin says.

You curl your hands into fists. “It’s late.”

“I’m aware.”

“I’m—I’m sorry.” You are acutely aware of how garbled you must sound. It’s starting to get on your nerves, how flimsy you’re being. “I’m not… thinking.”

“For what it’s worth, I think you’re being pretty articulate for someone with an empty brain.”

“Are you making fun of me?”

“Don’t put words in my mouth,” Seokjin sighs.

The seat squeaks where you tense up. “I don’t want to think about your mouth.”

“Do you wanna know what I think?” You nod. Jesus. You’ll just let him do the talking from now on because your tongue can’t be trusted this early in delirium, late in the hour. “I—I…”

Seokjin struggles some more, then deflates. He starts laughing.

“I… don’t drive just anyone out to convenience stores at two in the morning for ramen. You have to know that.” He clears his throat. His eyes are shiny with the harsh glare of neon signs. “I guess I just—wanna know… what you’re thinking.”

“I’m thinking…” Your lips part. Searching for words feels like a physical thing—your stomach is swimming with what feels like a billion thoughts but nothing comes up for air. “I’m thinking I—don’t want to say the wrong thing.”

Seokjin turns to look at you. “I won’t make fun,” he whispers.

“I think. I think, you look—um—really… Good. Um. R-Really… good, right now.”

“Thanks.” He looks up like he wants to say something but his eyes harden where he gazes, locking in on the dust motes of the windshield. Your lungs swell small in the quietude. “I think you really look good, too.”

If baser compliments already have you burning then you don’t know what you’d do if he tried anything more romantically complex. Some people are meant for loud love stories and grand gestures and you—all you can do is think too much and you want to say more but Seokjin understands. He understands your silence, your ineptitude.

In a fit of controlled passion, you reach over the console, grasping at his knuckles till he flips his palm right into yours.

“Feels… ”

You wait for something to come to mind. A phrase, a proper thought to give utterance to, all the failures and successes of the night. Faithfully, nothing comes.

It just feels.

And Seokjin seems to agree. He holds tight between the grooves of your fingers.

“You’re very pretty and it hurts,” he says, and he doesn’t try to meet your gaze, and one feeling comes resolute: it feels right.

[docmurph12]

Ok review time!! Been a while, its good to be back. Im a little behind on requests so the first is going to be one from my wife, who I think chose this because she wants to simultaneously torture me and because she doesn't like it either and wants to confirm the quality (or lack thereof). At the least I know this movie split audiences, and I know the music, while.......well enough composed is painfully simple and bland to the point of being tropey. It will be interesting enough to see how they manage to Disney-ize the world's best known racist exploitative exhibitionist. If you wanna know I'll do 5 about Barnum at the end, for the sake of historical reference.

To start, Hugh Jackman is predictably fantastic vocally. I absolutely loved him in Les Miserables and he is definitely in voice here. The interesting thing I noticed is that the music is REALLY canned, but mostly its not a bad thing. It's just really obvious they did the music in ADR style recordings after or maybe even before the fact. It is REALLY clean and sometimes is just a touch jarring that the performer's movements don't seem to appear at all audibly. It is all very well mixed though, the sound effects are not at all distracting, but also not distractably absent (Thanks CATS for making that a thing I notice now).

The movie is very well shot, this early in the film the thing thats bugging me is that they have some great shots, but they never let anything sit. There are a lot of cuts. I am obviously a fan of long shots, but you have to let the shot sit for a second. Camera movement is not a bad thing, and it adds a little continuity and relation to your characters to your visual storytelling. Watch how David Fincher tends to use a camera. Looooong cuts that precisely follow character movements. Lots of this is his specific style but man it draws you in.

Interesting introduction to Zack Efron's character. He is an awful big actor (with what im understanding will be a big part) to have been introduced with nothing more than a throwaway line about a specific rich family that hasn't been mentioned at all prior to this. Kind of removes the stakes or any level of interest in who this person even is or why Barnum wants him involved at all.

I really liked the scene transition from the bar to the circus. Well shot, interesting visual trickery, nice use of long cut shots to establish where you are supposed to be, so that when it changes incrementally it is very visually stunning and exciting.

The bearded lady has a trash application. Im surprised that made it into a big budget tent pole film. My God is that thing bad.

The whole "This is Me" "Rise up" thing really is tragic considering the people who were basically used by Barnum never were anything to him but a money making venture. They were made celebrities under Barnum but arguably never made what they deserved with him, and after the fact were still ridiculed and shamed. In fact riots were started because of Barnum's "den of evil".

Man, Zack Efron slays with his voice but he totally just bounced Zendaya's head off the ground. Holy shit.

Interesting that the one thing negative they focus on with Barnum is his inability to focus his energy on his family and the trouble it got him into.

Oh hey that's Yahya Abdul-Mateen II. Strange that its not even a bit part that he got. He's awesome. Shame they didn't use his talent to better effect. I really enjoy watching his performances. I mean the awfully bearded lady got more of a speaking role than one of the most talented actors on the cast.

Nice that some of the performances later in the film appear to be recorded live. Hugh Jackman should really have gone whole hog in performing live for the whole film. He's really very good.

The choreography in this is remarkably complex. They had to have spent a crazy amount of time in rehearsals on this, especially on the pieces in smaller spaces.

Oh man the VFX of Tom Thumb riding the elephant was REALLY bad. I wasn't sure if it was just me when I saw it earlier in the movie when he was riding the horse, but nope. Just bad.

And of course the obligatory positive quote from the famous historical main character.

Alright so the final verdict. This wasn't the atrocious train wreck I thought it was going to be. That said, there were a lot of things that left me pretty disappointed. The devil truly is in the details and there were things that had me wondering how they got through the final approval door. Bad makeup/prosthetics, good audio mixes combined with jarring combinations of live and pre/post recorded music, inconsistency in the editing room in terms of length of shots for effect, oddly throwaway introductions of main characters, bad VFX and unused talent really leave one wanting more out of this. Now the really tragic thing here is that there might be a way better film here if they grimed it up and really went for the more accurate story of PT Barnum, a little closer to "There Will Be Blood", where the tale of narcissism driven obsession of exploitation and profit takes center stage. Folks please let it be known this is just a movie. PT Barnum was not a good person. He exploited people for profit, and continued to put people on display as freaks in spite of the negative attention it brought them. THE EXHIBITION WAS KNOWN COMMONLY AS A DEN OF EVIL FOR CHRIST'S SAKE AND ALL HE DID WAS LABEL THESE PEOPLE AS FREAKS AND PUT THEM ON DISPLAY. He was only a philanthropist in the sense that for him to be so, he needed to see a profit on the back end. If you really need to know how bad things were take a second and look up the name Joice Heth. You might thank me, you probably won't. That said, I truly feel this was a wasted opportunity to tell a well written cautionary tale. Lots of good in this version of the film, but not enough to overshadow some very strange oversights.

Final Verdict?

C-. I dont see myself revisiting this. So much left on the table.

Next up? Either The Platform or Circle (I think that is the name of it). REALLY looking forward to those ones.

[disneyplusfan]

Revisiting our first viewing of The Mandalorian S01E01

A look back at our reactions to Season 1 episodes as the new season of The Mandalorian begins.

November 24, 2019

The Mandalorian: Chapter 1 recap by K (includes detailed spoilers)

A Mandalorian bounty hunter tracks a target for a well-paying client.

Directed by Dave Filoni

Written by Jon Favreau

Music by Ludwig Gӧransson

Airdate: Nov 12, 2019

As I write this, I have watched the first three episodes of The Mandalorian three times now. I’m hooked. I did not expect to be. I expected to like it well enough — but not to love it. 

I’m a Star Wars fan for *cough* many years, since childhood. Adore the original trilogy, intrigued yet annoyed by the prequels, less than wow’ed by the final trilogy. I like Rogue One. I also liked Solo, although I get that I’m one of maybe three people in that camp. I have not watched Clone Wars. So this is my frame of reference.

Boba Fett is perhaps my favorite character. He is one of the best characters in the franchise, and I will die on that hill. You know next to nothing about him, and that adds to his mystique. I read Tales of the Bounty Hunters and Tales of Jabba’s Palace back in the day, and “Last Man Standing: The Tale of Boba Fett” and his showdown with Han Solo will always be the quintessential Boba Fett/Mandalorian story for me, canon or not. I was enraged when they changed his voice in the original trilogy to Jango’s (like he couldn’t just be disguising his voice??). 

For me, Boba Fett is the original Mandalorian against whom all others will be measured. I have spoken. 

All this to say, my standards were high. My expectations for The Mandalorian in particular would have been even higher, if I wasn’t somewhat disappointed by the final trilogy of films. And this was the first live action Star Wars television series, so it’s uncharted territory. 

I also managed not to be spoiled at all for this show going in, which was how I like it. Everything came to me fresh as I watched.

From the establishing shot, the cinematography is like the original series movies. Check. You feel immediately immersed in the Star Wars universe. Check. It’s a snowy ice world, like Hoth but greyer and flatter in terrain.

The titular Mandalorian, who is all but certainly not Boba Fett, as he looks a bit different in his armor (and the show is set 5 years or so after Return of the Jedi, which you don’t know yet in the show itself but meaning Boba Fett should be dead by now, or at least dying in the Sarlacc’s belly), looks good. Same imposing figure, same mysterious-yet-badass immediate impression in his imposing armor and weaponry. Can he pull it off? I mean that for the actor as much as the character. I know nothing about which actor is playing him (Pedro Pascal, from Game of Thrones, I learn later). I’ve remained completely unspoiled. 

He’s holding a tracking device. So, also a bounty hunter. Check.

He’s heading for an establishment, a darkened bar, or saloon, or cantina. Inwardly I eyeroll a little. Another cantina?

From inside the bar we see the round spiral blast door opens from the middle outward and the Mandalorian is darkly silhouetted against the icy white exterior landscape. 

Nice, iconic character-establishing shot. I am interested.

Simultaneously, the music starts. A soft, repetitive, lulling theme of eight wind notes vaguely Native American in tone that we will come to know quite well. For now, it adds a touch of mystery and suspense. The lulling, almost hypnotic aspect of the music gives the sense this is all just routine, and the Mandalorian’s short, almost imperceptible shake of the head as an insult is hurled at him seems to add to this effect.

Two patrons of the bar, a couple of aliens, have been roughing up a meek, chubby merman guy, some kind of aquatic creature. He’s a new species so that’s interesting. They are bullies, who threatened to cut off his glands, so the violent type, and it feels like Mos Eisley or worse. Inwardly I eyeroll again because we’ve seen this before in the original Star Wars film, A New Hope. Don’t they have any new ideas? 

The Star Wars universe has at least one entire galaxy to play with. Yes, establish place as the Star Wars universe with familiar things. But within that we don’t need to keep seeing so many of the same things we have seen before. Give us some easter eggs because we’re fans, but give us new things to love, too. It’s a balance, and I personally want more new than repeat. One of my main gripes with the final trilogy is that it’s too much of the same, just with new characters who aren’t fleshed out and developed enough for me to care about them. But that’s another review.

So it’s a cantina, and they want Star Wars fans who are perhaps not as well versed as me (like say, my sister) to be oriented. Fine, I’ll be patient. I don’t doubt a bounty hunter will frequently find himself in such places.

All the patrons’ eyes are on the Mandalorian as he enters and stands at the bar counter. If you haven’t started to feel vaguely Western elements yet, they start to come now. He’s got his back to the rest of the bar, waiting. Almost baiting. The bullies immediately shift focus leaving the merman alone to go pick on him instead. It’s a mistake and everyone knows it. But they must test our hero. And I too, as if just another patron at this cantina, want to see them test him. I’m curious. 

The loud one calls him “Mando!” and we have something of a name to call him for now. But it might be an insult and I’m not quite sure yet. 

They seem interested in his armor — Beskar Steel — and this is something I personally have not heard of before. I’m interested.

A bit of Mandalorian taunting and a quick fight later, one of the bullies who tried to escape the bar is pulled into the blast door entryway as the Mandalorian’s grappling hook yanks him halfway back inside, and closes it, severing him in half. I let out a bitter laugh. It wouldn’t be Star Wars without some bully losing a body part in a bar fight, right? Check. And the Mandalorian proved himself badass, so far. 

He goes over to the merman, who first just tries to thank him, then bribe him with credits and a drink. The stoic, imposing Mandalorian simply places a disc on the table in front of him, and immediately a holographic image pops up showing his face and name in Basic. 

“Is that a bounty puck?” the merman asks. A device that’s new to me, perhaps not to others. Further interested. The weak man tries bargaining some more.

The Mandalorian brings a hand to his blaster and speaks for the first time. 

“I can bring you in hot, or I can bring you in cold.” 

Cut to opening title credits. 

Perfect first line. 

The voice itself doesn’t immediately wow me. It’s not as grizzled as Fett’s, it’s younger and somehow... unseasoned? I’m not sure. But it’s not Jango’s voice, so I’m willing to accept it. And again I think, why couldn’t Boba Fett have kept his original Jeremy Bulloch voice? 

Title credits. Nice font. The drum beat theme music that also sounds vaguely Western. I like it. 

Then we are back outside on the ice world, walking back up the path where we first saw the Mandalorian. He’s got the merman in handcuffs. 

“I need passage, to the yards.”

An Ortollan, a species from the original series, plays a little flute and a land speeder comes up piloted by a droid. 

“No droids.” 

I find it interesting that our Mandalorian would prefer a living creature to a machine as a programmed droid should be more reliable but perhaps machines can be remote controlled, or else there’s a story there that I really want to hear.

The Ortolan plays his flute again and the next speeder comes up, a red one. It's considerably more broken down than the previous one, driven by an older guy in a hooded coat. “Where to?” 

They pull up to a silver-colored ship of some kind, bigger than the Slave IV I think. Kind of clunky, really, more like a C-130 cargo transport than an F-16 fighter jet — not what you’d expect to be necessary for a bounty hunter to make quick getaways. Merman agrees with me. 

“You’re kidding me, right? I’ll hire us a Livery Cruiser. I’ll pay for it. Just trying to make it pleasant.”

The speeder pilot meanwhile is scanning the horizon anxiously and demands payment. The Mando pays him. “I’d stay off the ice if I were you.” Something’s gonna attack, and probably from beneath the ice. Can’t wait.

Merman is worried and watches the speeder depart into the distance as the Mando readies the ship. 

Something launches up from under the ice and consumes the speeder, and a snakelike body with dragon-like spinal plates disappears beneath it again. Merman freaks out and demands they hurry as the ice cracks in their direction. 

The Mando yanks him out of the way just in time for a giant walrus-tusked creature with a long body launches out next to the ship. It catches part of the ship’s landing gear in its mouth as they try to take off and there’s a familiar sound effect like the Falcon losing power. 

The Mandalorian grabs his tuning-fork weapon from outside the cabin doors (where it stays when it’s not on his back) and heads out to fight. The creature has one of the landing gear legs in its mouth as the music swells very tribal. One zap from the tuning fork weapon and the creature is electrified, immediately lets go, and they escape.

The ship is more impressive in air than on the ground as two enormous jets fire. It seems heavy though. I don’t see any weapons except two forward cannons of some kind, but of course there is probably ample hidden weaponry. Can’t wait. 

Once in space the merman starts bargaining and conversing but the Mandalorian is silent, having none of it. 

“I like your ship,” the merman says, now trying to butter him up. “She’s classic. Razor Crest, am I right? Pre-Empire?”

So it’s an older ship. The cockpit, entryway and ramp, halls and hull are quite wide and roomy. It makes sense that a bounty hunter needs room to carry cargo. I suppose some quarry may be quite large depending on species. I’d like to see him have to capture something large. I wonder if he has a larger ship because he’s young, and can’t yet afford something speedier. Or perhaps he loves it, despite being old and possibly rickety, like Han loved the Falcon. It doesn’t look like it’s been through the wars, though, so that’s a mystery. Can’t wait to learn more about the ship. 

Merman goes below on the pretense of having to use the evacuation tube. There’s some funny toilet humor here. There’s no restroom, the evac tube is in the middle of the floor against a wall--kind of like a New York City basement apartment I viewed once. To the right of the evac tube is a wall with what looks like a palette inside -- I guess that’s where the Mandalorian sleeps? It’s hard to tell.

Merman keeps exploring as he talks. Finds a cache of weapons but surprisingly just closes it again. And then he finds the other bounties.

This actually pissed me off on first viewing. The Mandalorian has several other quarry below deck--all encased in carbonite. I did a massive eyeroll here. Boba Fett (really, Vader) encased Han in carbonite as a matter of convenience at the location they were at in Cloud City. It was a test to see if he could transport Luke that way to the Emperor--IF he survived. But it’s NOT like it was the preferred mode of choice for bounty hunters to transport their quarry. So why would this Mandalorian just happen to have not just bounties in carbon freeze on his ship but has a carbon freezing /chamber/ on the ship, as he shoves the merman into it. 

This really annoyed me until a friend suggested maybe the other hunters heard about Fett and Han at Jabba’s Palace and it became a thing once they knew it wouldn’t kill the bounty. After some thought I have accepted this idea, even though it seems quick if this is only set 5 years after Jedi. Still, the other Mandalorians would have been among the first to know, and it’s a more practical mode of transport allowing low risk of escape and not having to address your quarry’s various biological needs. Also easily stackable while protecting them. So okay, I’ve come to accept it. 

Mando arrives at a spaceport in a semi-large desert city, that actually looks a lot like Tatooine--both what we’ve seen from the original trilogy and the prequels. They never actually state where we are at any of these locations, but this is my theory. There’s a droid like Red, there are people walking around dressed like Tatooine inhabitants. More evidence comes later in the series.

He enters another drinking establishment that seems to be the meeting place for his contact. The feel is very much like the bar where Han shot Greedo, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it was even the same one years later. Aliens of all types, again, watching him closely.

He meets his contact and returns the fobs. Payment is arranged. The Mandalorian says the Empire is gone, and he accepts Calamari flan at half than Imperial credits at full payment. 

The question of the next job comes up. Guild rates are high. The Mando wants the highest. 5,000 doesn’t cover fuel these days. 

The contact says “Well, there is one job.” No puck. Face to face, direct commission. Pays well. “Underworld?” No codes. The Mandalorian accepts the chip.

More of the city. Goes to a back-alley establishment. Arrives at a door with a  TT-8L/Y7 gatekeeper droid, like at Jabba’s Palace. Inside is a walking garbage-can droid like in the Jawa’s ship. I take this as more evidence we are on Tatooine, though of course these items could be sold throughout the galaxy.

Inside there are four Stormtroopers. An older man with an Imperial pendant who is clearly the leader and client. “Greef Carga said you were coming.” So that’s the Mando’s contact back at the bar. “He said you were the best in the parsec.” Haha, at least we are using parsec correctly now.

A side door opens, which startles the Mandalorian and he draws his tuning fork weapon (a modified amban phase-pulse blaster rifle). The four Stormtroopers draw also. A younger man with glasses comes in, shielding his face, apologizing profusely. The client introduces him as Doctor Pershing. A scientist. The Mandalorian still has weapons drawn in both hands, facing off with the Stormtroopers. “We have you four to one.” “I like those odds,” he responds. “He also said you were expensive. Very expensive.” 

All calms down and the client invites him to sit. He unfolds a block of beskar steel as down payment. He has more upon delivery of the asset -- alive. Proof of termination is also acceptable for a lower fee. The Doctor protests. 

No puck. Tracking fob, age, and last known positional data only. The quarry is 50 years old. 

“It is good to return the beskar back to the Mandalorians. It is good to restore the natural order of things after so much disarray, don’t you agree?”

The Mandalorian pauses here and almost imperceptibly again cocks his head. He touched a nerve. Amazing how an actor can still convey so much behind a helmet. I still don’t know this actor but he’s pulling it off. 

More of the city. Whatever that laughing thing was at Jabba’s feet, two of his species are roasting on a spit. One more is in a cage. (It’s a Kowakian monkey-lizard like Salacious Crumb. I had to look that up.)

The Mandalorian ducks in behind a curtain. Down some steps. Strings here that sound very Star Wars. A long hall with other Mandalorians about. Some have the helmet antenna like Fett. Some are small, running. Children.

At the end of the hall over the archway is a Mandalorian skull emblem. Within is a person working at a forge, hammering metal and heating it over a ring of open gas flames like Bunsen burners. The blacksmith, which IMDB tells me is Armorer, comes forward and sits down with our Mandalorian. There is fur around the collar, the helmet is different, golden with two small horns, and looks more like a gladiator helmet. From the way she moves, and especially once she speaks, this is a woman. I am intrigued, since I have not seen a female Mandalorian before. They nod respectfully to one another. The Mando produces his payment: the Calamari flan--and then, the bar of Beskar steel, marked with an Imperial insignia at one corner. She is visibly surprised and impressed.

“This was gathered in the Great Purge. It is good it is back with the tribe. A pauldron is in order. Has your signet been revealed?”

“Not yet.” 

“Soon.” 

A pause here to discuss armor. Any show about Mandalorians was going to have certain elements. Ships, weapons, lore, armor. 

Mandalorian armor is famous in the Star Wars universe. Beskar steel, the material it is made of, is strong, and can withstand almost anything, yet very light, rather like mithril in the Lord of the Rings universe. It would seem the Great Purge by the Empire included not just Jedi but Mandalorians, and their armor was melted into bars, as currency or for transport. (This is speculation on my part.) And that a goal of the Mandalorians is to reclaim as much beskar as possible, and reforge it back into Mandalorian armor. 

The blacksmith does just this and makes him a pauldron, or shoulder cover, from the bar of beskar. She tells him this is extremely generous and the excess will sponsor many foundlings.

“That’s good,” he responds. “I was once a foundling.”

“I know.”

A bit more of our hero’s background. 

Her forge is a combination of computerized part designs and heavy iron machinery, like a 3-D printer on steroids. And as it bangs out the new pauldron each loud clang of metal on metal shows us a brief flashback of our Mandalorian’s memories. A battle with fire and sparks all around. A woman in dark red robe carrying a boy also in dark red robe. He is terrified. Presumably this is our hero. She is carrying him, he’s maybe 8-10 years old. A man is with her, her husband? People getting shot--massacred--all around them as they run. Explosions. She opens an underground container of some sort, deposits the boy. He has brown hair, brown eyes, and olive skin. He reaches for her as the doors close. And then the pauldron is completed; the flashbacks stop.

Having viewed 3 episodes already, this becomes a pattern and I love this device. You get a little more of his backstory with each piece of armor, with each clang of the forge. It’s perfect. It makes sense that in these moments as he waits in this safe place, he might slip into memories. Or perhaps they come unbidden at this time for some reason. There’s also a nice theme of memories being buried beneath his armor, along with his emotions. And only when there’s a chink in the armor, does it show through.

The pauldron goes on, shiny and new, and for the first time I notice the wipes. A center point wipe expanding outward, with fuzzy borders, and so very Star Wars that it makes you smile. 

He heads to another planet that looks from space like Tatooine. If we weren’t on Tatooine before, we might be now. We are at least in the vicinity. It’s a desert planet with jagged sandstone cliffs all around. He lands his shiny ship, and gets out with the fob. He looks through his turning-fork weapon’s scope, and spots two distant creatures I can only describe as land grouper with legs and long tails. Suddenly he is attacked by one, sinking its teeth into his arm before he can get a shot off, and then a second, and though he fights with flamethrower and even fists, it looks like we will lose our hero until someone shoots them with taser darts. 

It appears our hero is not wounded, but his arm pieces are damaged. 

A small man with a piglike face and a kind, wise voice and goggles on his head. An ugnaught. Remember them from the original trilogy? IMDB tells me his name is Kuill, although this is never actually said in the episode, so I will refer to him as the ugnaught. 

I suspect anonymity is a running theme in this show, as part of the Western genre. So far we’ve heard almost no character names (which makes writing reviews a little difficult). I’m wondering if there’s any significance to the ones we do know, vs. the ones we don’t.

“You are a bounty hunter. I will help you. I have spoken.” This last part is his trademark line, as we’ll see. I love it. 

We go to what looks like a wind or moisture farm. There is, from what I can see, only one sun. 

The ugnaught tells the Mandalorian that others have come looking and died. He will show him the way for half of the blurg they caught. Mando will have to learn how to ride them to pass to the compound. 

On the first few attempts the blurg throws him. Apparently it’s a female; the males are all eaten during mating. (Thanks for that tidbit, Kuiil.) He gets thrown again and loses patience, asking for a speeder. 

The ugnaught challenges him. 

“You are a Mandalorian. Your ancestors rode the great mythosaur. Surely you can ride this young blurg.” 

Our hero is challenged; the words touched him. He approaches the blurg like a wild horse that needs breaking in, and the Western theme is back, even in the music. Eventually he succeeds, a triumphant moment that impresses the ugnaught, and they’re off across the landscape full of ravines that only the blurg can jump, apparently. The theme music swells until they arrive at a cliff where they can spy on the encampment. This is where the bounty hunter’s quarry is. 

Mando tries to pay him off. Ugnaught reveals his motive: it’s been an endless stream of warriors trying to get this quarry, breaking the peace. He’s read the stories about Mandalorians and believes ours can make quick work of it and bring peace back to his land. 

Our boy does some recon with a hand telescope and the place is swarming. Then he spots a bounty droid, and groans. The droid is just walking right in, and demands the asset be produced.

The bounty droid looks like IG-88 from The Empire Strikes Back and again, for a moment, I almost eye rolled because really, can’t we see something new? All bounty droids look the same? But whereas IG-88 just stood there, this one moves, and the way he moves is COOL. Although humanoid in appearance like 3PO (head, two arms, two legs), unlike 3PO he appears to operate around a central pole or spine, allowing his parts to rotate 360 degrees. This includes his head, his eyes, his arms and therefore weapons, and his waist/hips. It gives him an amazing advantage as he can just keep spinning and shooting. The way he steps over a body is awesome. He’s also really skinny and thus hard to hit. Whole new respect for the IG series. 

This IG unit is also funny, and his repartee with our Mandalorian is instant comedic chemistry. There’s a fantastic shootout, where they team up, and as they are outnumbered, the bounty droid seeing no way out, keeps trying to self-destruct. “Do not self destruct!” our Mando keeps shouting at him, and after a very badass moment with an [ion machine gun], by the end they win, and everyone in the yard lies dead. Mando helps him up, saying “You’re not so bad for a droid,” and the droid replies likewise. I saw a sidekick in the making. They shoot their way inside, kill a few more people until there’s no one left, and determine the quarry is just before them in the corner. 

Except there is no one there, just a white ball looking thing with a net over it that the fobs indicate is the target. 

They remove the net, and open the ball, which is really more egg-shaped. 

And then it opens, it looks more like a bassinet with a blanket inside. 

“Wait--” says Mando. “They said 50 years old.”

“Species age differently,” replies the IG unit. And we get our first glimpse over the top of the blanket as he says “Perhaps it could live many centuries. Sadly, we’ll never know.” And as he’s speaking, a little head peeks over the blanket.

Oh. My. God. And in this one moment, I am glued to this show forever. 

It’s a baby Yoda. 

Except it isn’t Yoda, because Yoda’s dead. But we don’t know Yoda’s species name, and we don’t know the baby’s given name, so we will call it what the internet has dubbed it in the meantime: Baby Yoda. 

And this moment, above all, is the biggest reason I am so glad I wasn’t spoiled. 

Baby Yoda is the most adorable, most precious, most endearing thing you have ever seen. And in a franchise that has at times been criticized for its more saccharine “cute” creatures that appeal to young children (Ewoks, anyone?), this is one we can all get behind.

Baby Yoda is CUTE. <3

Baby Yoda is everything.

Remember my aversion to anything we’ve seen already? I NO LONGER CARE. Looking at those huge brown eyes and long floppy ears, this doesn’t even cross my mind. 

I would give my life for Baby Yoda. I know this all in one second.

And the IG unit is about to kill it. 

Apparently our Mando feels something similar. 

“Wait,” he says, and reaching out he lowers the IG unit’s weapon. “We’ll bring it in alive.”

“The commission was quite specific. The asset was to be terminated.” The IG unit raises his blaster again, aimed squarely at the crib.

The camera closes in on the Mandalorian’s helmet, fixed on the bassinet, and there is a red blaster flash from his right, reflected in the helmet. The Mando’s head never moves. 

But the IG unit falls to the floor, shot in the head. Sizzling. He’s toast. 

Our guy shot him without even looking. He’s fixated on Baby Yoda, as we all are. He puts his own blaster away, and tilts his head.

The camera cuts to a gorgeous profile, backlit from a doorway. The Mandalorian stands before the crib, which is now floating in the air at waist height. He raises a finger towards the crib, as a tiny finger comes up from inside it. They don’t quite meet. 

End credits. 

End credits for this show are a series of beautiful concept drawings and if you know Star Wars at all, these are some stunning art. The whole theme also plays over the end credits and it is hauntingly beautiful. Ludwig Gӧransson’s score is perfect. 

Thoughts.

Themes: Space western. Anonymity. (Even the ship still has no name, just a model.) Foundlings. Characters that seem to have no family, but instead bond in other social ways (covert/religion, bounty hunter guild/profession). Remnants. Loss.  

I LOVE the concept art at the end. Fans love this concept art, and I have a couple of books of it myself. Nice way to incorporate it into the series. You can see how the original concept and final product differ (very little, in most cases) and a few intriguing pieces that were either filmed but cut from the final edit or never filmed. I love how they add the 3-D effect to some of the drawings, and I still don’t know how Hollywood achieves that. 

Concept art round-up: 

Mando and Baby Yoda’s ET moment 

Some intriguing glow-dice game between two Mandalorians? I need to know more about this.

Mando firing a blaster

Mando entering a cantina

Mando and Kuiil on Blurrback

Mando and IG-11 taking cover during battle

Mando and Kuiil entering Kuiil’s home

Mando walking on the icescape with his back facing the camera

Mando battling the ice creature while hanging out of the Razor Crest

Mando and IG-11 standing shoulder to shoulder

Mando on Blurrgback

Taika Waititi is amazing as the IG unit bounty droid. Never would have guessed it was him.

Werner Herzog is perfect as The Client, I love his voice, and the article/video about him crying over Baby Yoda. 

This show is going to get me writing fanfic again, dammit. 

*****

The Mandalorian: Chapter 1 recap by K (includes detailed spoilers)

A Mandalorian bounty hunter tracks a target for a well-paying client.

Directed by Dave Filoni

Written by Jon Favreau

Music by Ludwig Gӧransson Airdate: Nov 12, 2019

Run Time: 40m

Greef Karga (Carl Weathers)

The Client (Werner Herzog)

Dr. Pershing (Omid Abtahi)

Kuiil (Nick Nolte, voice)

IG-11 (Taika Waititi, voice; Rio Hackford, performance artist)

Mythrol (Horatio Sanz)

Alpha Trawler (Tait Fletcher)

Beta Trawler (Ryan Watson)

Quarren Trawler (Dmitrious Bistrevsky)

Armorer (Emily Swallow)

[itscookieoverlordtoyou]

40 Questions — Meme for Fic Writers

Don’t you sometimes see those ask games and wish you could just fkg do them all? On this sunny Saturday, we make our dreams reality lolol

1.  Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

Short fic, I usually get a small scene I want written so I write around it, plus I love short stories with interesting punchline.

2.  Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

Probably, I don’t know them all ^^’

3.  Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

Writing about stuff that disgust me I guess.

4.  How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

Like 5-6? I want to write about a restaurant but set in a world where people have powers I think the combo could be very funny. The main character has the power of insight, the plonge is a giant pool where you swim around cleaning. Backstories of characters with shitty and amazing powers and how they ended up here. Rival to lover character that has the power to see into the future.

5. Share one of your strengths.

Dialogues, subversion, and humor; classmates often said I have a touch to spin a sad story into something positive/happier.

6.  Share one of your weaknesses?

I get tired when I describe something for longer than 4 sentences.

7.  Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

“In what kind of trouble have we walked right into?”, I ask my companions as they’re idly fixing their attire. Together, we’ve face many perils and this mission ranks among one of the most dangerous. Yet, the others had been…how should I say it…professional! Rescuing kidnapped princesses, vanquishing terrifying monsters, quests to restore mythical artifacts, save nations from insidious plots. Oddly enough, “Does this dress make me look fat?”, is not the answer I’m looking for.

Ribbon in my hair is the first time I wrote about my knights, I first dreamt about them when I as 18, my boyfriend at the time called my idea stupid and my world building pointless so I only started writing about them when I was 21. Now I write about them a little bit every year :)

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

“Do you really want your last words to be complaints?”

“I die as I lived.”

“Will we become a fruit tree?”

“I don’t think so, it’s never been the case for my ancestors.”

“I’d love it if we could turn into a banana tree.”

“I’m not from the southern regions, plus I like apples more.”

“Just imagine, our fruits could have been banana flambée”

This death scene was a big finale to a story I wrote for a class in Uni, a story of war between clan of forest and volcano people, of the supposedly brutal death of a Goddess, of a mysterious apple tree whose fruit give vision of the past. I should revisit it.

9.  Which fic as been the hardest to write?

My analysis on D’Artagnan and the figure of the hero. Granted it’s an essay for school but I deeply loved it. I was too afraid to write or ask for help from the professor in charge of me (which made our relationship tense ^^’) but when I did, it was beautiful and I was very proud got 89% :D

10.  Which fic has been the easiest to write?

A play called Adelaide where an old couple reads their old fairytale book about a Prince on a quest to save a Princess. They bicker about the other misreading the story but we finally get to the part where the Prince tosses the princess apart to get a better view of the dragon of which he falls instantly in love. The book is actually their wedding album.

11.  Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby?

It’s one of my passions, but it’s not something I think I could live on so I delegated it to my hobby.

12.  Is there an episode above all others that inspires you just a little bit more?

The wedding scene in Shrek 2, my mind was blown when I saw it in theaters and when I need inspiration to write, I rewatch it.

13.  What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

Presentation is important. If trying to read you gives people headaches, they’ll stop. Choose a nice big font, space with paragraphs, be mindful of your spelling and missing words. Read out loud because some things written are bad said.

14.  What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

I must’ve been lucky in this regard, I don’t think I’ve ever received advice that made me go NO, but I did have to listen/read stuff that made me gag.

15.  If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

I would love to the Adelaide acted out, some adjustments would be required because I’m no expert in play writing but I think I’d be great.

16.  If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?

Luyenor’a and Taram, names are placeholders as of now but they’re two of my knight, being the “only pairing I’m allow to write about forever” means I’d get more knight shenanigans done.

17.  Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

I’m doing bullets point of what I want to happen and write stuff without much order. Some days I have no inspirations for what goes in the beginning but have loads for a later point. I surf the wave when it presents itself.

18.  Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines?

Word on my computer, a notebook in my bag, the note app in my phone.

19. Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in the basement. Do you have a muse?

I have little trinkets all around my computer to invite inspiration.

20. Describe your perfect writing conditions.

Freshly woken up, having eaten, drinking something sugary and sometimes apple cider because the alcohol help lower my inhibition.

21.  How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

I read out loud at least once the whole thing, helps with missing words but dude I reread my stuff on ao3 and always find mistakes still ^^’

22. Choose a passage from one of your earlier fics and edit it into your current writing style. (Person sending the ask is free to make suggestions).

I’m not going to put here because it’s in French and I don’t want to translate now but I wrote Vision of a world, mine when I was 16 and damn was I already depressed then?

23.  If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why?

The Princess and the Soldier, some gay fairytale I think my first one, I’m sure I can do better bow

I also have one about a janitor and it’s a murder mystery I could redo

24. Have you ever deleted one of your published fics?

Once by accident, I was so angry I never rewrote it.

25.  What do you look for in a beta?

I don’t really use beta (beta reader right?) but I guess I’ve had like 3-4 when I was in Uni and had to read people’s wip and they read mine. They’d talk about what they liked, links they noticed, things that seemed weak or to change

26.  Do you beta yourself? If so, what kind of beta are you?

I usually just point out the stuff I like

27.  How do you feel about collaborations?

For a class in college, we had to act out a play we wrote collectively. Ten sketches written in pairs/alone. I made sure I was alone so I wouldn’t be saddled with someone else to write my sketch

28. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

I don’t follow fic writers; I just am in a mood for a ship and read what’s available. I do like my friend @alumort ‘s fics tho ^^

29.  If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

There was a Phineas and Ferb fic focused on Perry I really loved. Their world building was something I’d never seen and they abandoned the story, so I did fanfic of a fic. Never dared to post it anywhere I mean it was their world to begin with.

30.  Do you accept prompts?

Of course, when inspiration is given I accept

31.  Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?

I don’t care about canon but I do love using it when there are little trivia to enrich the character.

32.  How do you feel about smut?

Love to read it sometimes, would love to write it. Some I’m like………….youveneverhadsexhaveyou…………………

33.  How do you feel about crack?

Love it!!!!!!!! I’m too self-conscious to write it tho. Oh maybe that could be a never before written trope I could try?

34.  What are your thoughts on non-con and dub-con?

Rape I can’t, dub-con where underlying requited feelings exist but anxiety™ don’t let the characters express them but they’re drunk so it surfaces is okay

35.  Would you ever kill off a canon character?

Hell yeah! I do when/if the death makes sense (I am still pissed at Kishi for Neji)

36.  Which is your favorite site to post fic?

Ao3 is where I post,I used devianart when I had one

37.  Talk about your current wips.

Marry Me for the Love of Cake: God I’m so sorry to the few people who followed it, I said I’d pick it up before the end of 2019 and well……I have the ending in bullet points

Yours, with Love: I hope I’ll finish it…I have most of the ending in bullet points

I guess I’m into rom com at the moment lolol

38.  Talk about a review that made your day.

I made my best friend read All this for a Roll Cake, and she laughed so much at my work, I took a picture I look at from time to time to remain humble.

39.  Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

Thankfully I’ve never received a rude review. My professor once told me it seemed kinda unnatural how unlucky my protagonist was vs. how lucky his love interest was (All this for a Roll Cake) but that was the whole point of the story so I just ignored her.

40.  Write an alternative ending to [insert fic title] (or just the summary of one).

Writing this I realised I lost my final version of All this for a Roll Cake T^T so I guess I’d rewrite the ending I have of the before the last version I still have.

Well this was fun ^^ got to revisit my works and remember many beloved pieces of fiction I wrote, I look forward to my next projects

[erunapendleton]

seven comfort movies

I was tagged by @alliecatcorner to share my 7 comfort movies!

1. Catnapped! (1995)

I first saw the trailer for this movie in the VHS for Sailor Moon R: Promise of the Rose when I was maybe 6? The main theme’s song was repetitive and bright colors of cats turning into balloons and a strange Godzilla-sized dog intrigued the hell out of me, but alas the movie evaded me for years. Until while browsing an FYE as a sixth grader (?) and I found the movie on DVD! 

The movie meant a lot to me as a child as I found it sweet and exciting, but it meant even more to me during the time when my dog had passed away. 

The movie tells the story of knuckle-headed, but good hearted Toriyasu, his excitable sister Meeko and their lost dog Papadoll. After Papadoll goes missing, the two are summoned to the world of Banipal Witt, a land of anthropomorphic cats and their ruler Buburina who is using Papadoll to terrorize its inhabitants. Toriyasu with the help of some rebels, must save Papadoll and return home all within a day lest he and sister also become Buburina’s monsters!

It’s movie that few know, but I try my best to get people to watch a hidden gem like Catnapped!. 

2. The Whisper of the Heart (1995)

TWotH is by far my favorite Ghibli movie. It’s the only feature by Yoshifumi Kondo who unfortunately passed away after completing this movie. I find his direction while still slow paced, meaningfully so and effective. I would have loved to see other Ghibli features with his touch, but alas it will never be.

TWotH stars Shizuku, a bookworm and fledgling writer who slowly falls for her classmate and aspiring violinist Seiji. Their relationship is rocky at first, both finding the other annoying, but both bond over their shared passion toward their chosen art. Both promise the other to throw themselves into their work and meet again when they’ve finished a goal. And it’s just an overall heartwarming tale of two young people impassioned by a love much greater than them.

I watched this while I was writing Crimson and Clover and living at home going to uni and my boyfriend dormed away from me working toward his degree, so I relate a lot to Shizuku’s circumstances too. ☺️

3. Kiki’s Delivery Service (1989)

This is a movie that gets better once you revisit it. At first glance Kiki is a young witch looking for her place in the world and that’s all the movie is about. But her figuring out what kind of witch she wants to be and staying in love with flying and delivering is something all young artists, passionates and anyone who has a hobby can relate too. This thing that I love - is it worth my time? Am I making a fool out of myself? Should I give up? Are all questions I ask myself all the time.

Miyazaki has a way of telling fantastical tales like Kiki’s Delivery Service about a witch and her love for flying that perfectly symbolize the relationship between an artist and their art. It’s comforting because we’ve all been there and ultimately, your art is not a waste of time.

4. Animal Crossing: The Movie (2006)

So, it’s no secret that Animal Crossing has been a huge part of my life ever since I played Population Growing (2001). This movie has many magical parts and relatable parts. It’s about a girl named Ai who moves to an animal village and learns to live on her own among her new mysterious and friendly villagers. She grows close particularly to her neighbor Sally (Margie, in the games) and learns about her desire to become a famous fashion designer. 

Playing the games is not necessary for enjoyment. You will mostly feel happy, if not a little bittersweet after. Also listening to the live version of K.K. Bossa is enough to give it a watch!  

5. Ratatouille (2007)

This is the best Pixar movie. Period.

Ratatouille is sort of a meme because of the premise of a rat controlling a lanky man in the kitchen is really funny, but this movie is so much more than it’s funky little premise. With the through line, “Anyone can cook,” the movie tells the audience that you can do anything you are passionate about, not necessarily just cooking, by telling the tale of the most unlikely chef that could ever be. A rat who wants to be a chef, aka food service’s number one enemy? But still Remy is determined by his love for food to bring that same fervor to others and refuses to give up or be bound to the odds given to him by his species. 

Another thing I love is how he says, “I hate taking. I want to make things.” He recognizes the negative stereotype his people have and wants to prove to the humans he has something to offer, all rats are capable are more than just stealing. It’s a gorgeous message for everyone that you are more than your circumstances or what people tell you are. You can be anything. Anyone can cook. 

6. Hercules (1997)

There’s a lot to love about Hercules between the absolutely creative new art style used for the characters, the clever pop culture references like the air-hercs, or even just the humor. What I love the most is the characterization of Hercules. 

It’s best encapsulated in the scene when Hercules sings “I Can Go the Distance,” which explains his feeling of ostracization from those around him and the lines of “I dream of a far off place where people cheer when they see my face and voice keeps saying, ‘This is where I’m meant to be,’” always gets me. I really admired how Hercules just goes off to learn who he is and then throws himself so strongly into becoming a hero all so that he can finally feel like he belongs... He didn’t wallow - he changed his circumstances. It’s empowering to see.  I won’t drone on too much longer lol stan Meg

7. The Little Mermaid (1989)

I often get really irritated when people zone in on Ariel’s infatuation with Eric and decide that is the ONLY reason she wanted life on land. It’s like they ignore her cove of thingamabobs or her overbearing father who never taught her or sisters anything about the surface. Eric was just another reason for her to break away and be free. Ariel’s bravery, wit and passion is admirable and it’s so wrong to diminish any of those traits just because she was in love. 

One of my favorite scenes is when her father, who finally realizes Ariel is serious about life on land and her love for Eric, not only gives her legs, but the most beautiful, sparkling purple gown. It couldn’t be anymore different than how Ursula discarded by leaving her naked while her father wrapped her nicely and lovingly and finally ready for life above. I just find that very touching.

Ok that went on for far too long lol time for some tags

@duechainz @rengokukyoujurou @yoshis @king-gappy @phantom-riter @nezukoh @jojo-sama

[razberryyum]

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The Untamed/陈情令 Rewatch, Episode 2 (spoilers for everything)

(covers MDZS chaps 6 - 10 and a bit of 13)

WangXian meter: 🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰

(a 🐰 is earned every time there is a WangXian scene or even when they’re just thinking of each other)

I always tell people when I’m trying to get them to watch The Untamed that when they get to this particular scene in the second episode, they’ll know if they will be into the show. To me, this is the game-changer moment: you’re either in or out after this. If this scene doesn’t emotionally move you enough to at least continue on with the drama, nothing else will.  It is seriously one of the most romantic scenes I have ever seen captured on screen. This was the moment that made me realize not only was I now fully committed to CQL, but that I had also found a new obsession and was ready to devote myself to Mo Dao Zu Shi.  After all, something that can lead to the creation of such a beautiful scene MUST hold other invaluable treasures. So into the MDZS rabbit hole I went, happily diving head first.  

Even now I’m still amazed that this scene exists in the intact form that it does. I started The Untamed with little to no expectations, especially knowing the restrictions it was under AND having just finished Guardian and experiencing how poor creative decisions can arise due to censorship (or at least, using that as an excuse for their dumb story choices). As I mentioned previously, the first episode was a hard sell since they definitely did not put their best foot forward first, but I liked Xiao Zhan immediately and Wei Wuxian as a character was interesting enough that I wanted to learn more about his past that led to his death and rebirth. The small glimpses we saw of his relationship with Lan Zhan also fascinated me, but then with this second episode, the weak points of the pilot still remained: there was still bad CGI (the statue) and very amateurish technical mistakes (in the recognition scene, at one point, in a close-up shot they’re holding onto each other, but in the next far away backside shot they’re clearly standing apart from each other, only to return to holding each other once again once the camera cuts back to a close-up...whoever the editor is on CQL probably should dunk their head in the toilet every time these editing errors pop up) that made my initial viewing of this episode a frustrating one for most of its runtime. I think I spent most of my initial viewing just distracted, playing on my phone or something, until the big WangXian moment happened and then I was shocked and awed.  I know I wasn’t paying close attention that first time because when I rewatched the episode later on, I realized I missed a lot of dialogue and details. I have since revisited this second episode numerous times more, and I do feel bad about how dismissive I was initially. It’s a pretty loaded episode: it has funny, poignant, creepy, mysterious, and cool moments while still feeding us bits of the overarching plot. I definitely have developed an affection for it since my first viewing and it’s become one of my favorite episodes in the series.

Of Pining & other Heart-achy Things

This simple line from Jiang Cheng is enough to make my eyes well up with tears: I can’t help but imagine Lan Zhan traveling around the world for sixteen years, most likely all alone, stopping at different places to play Inquiry, fervently hoping that maybe one day he’ll finally receive an answering chord from Wei Ying, only to be confronted by a deafening silence again and again and again. How utterly sad and disappointed he must have been every time, and yet still, he never gave up and just went to the next location to do the same thing and experience the same heavy disappointment all over again. If that doesn’t make your heart ache, I’m sorry to tell you, your heart is no longer functional.

It’s a detail I don’t remember if the novel covered, but I’m assuming that Lan Zhan was the one to bring Wei Ying’s inventions like the spirit attraction flag and the compass back to Gusu and incorporate them for use in his sect’s normal cultivation practices.  I know other people have use his tools as well since that nameless cultivator at the start of the episode was also using the spirit compass, but I feel that with Lan Wangji, he probably purposefully acquired and adapted WWX’s techniques so that every time they’re used, they can serve as a reminder of Wei Ying for him. Though it does make me wonder how Lan Zhan managed to get those approved by his uncle; I can’t imagine Lan Qiren being ok with using anything that was created by the man whom he blames for the corruption of his beloved nephew and model student. Did LWJ just pretend he created them instead? That doesn’t even sound right. Maybe Uncle Lan decided to be merciful and just let Lan Zhan win this one since he was probably obviously miserable after Wei Ying’s death.   Yeah, I can buy that scenario, especially since the flag and compass are pretty useful tools.  

I wondered did LWJ already suspect “Mo Xuanyu” was Wei Ying before he started playing Wuji on his flute. It’s curious that he happened to be in that part of the forest at that time. I’m guessing his Wei Ying senses were tingled when he heard about Mo Xuanyu’s skills from Sizhui and the boys so that’s why he was hanging around the vicinity just in case MXY reveals his true identity. After waiting 16 years for this reunion, it’s no wonder Lan Zhan had no qualms about holding onto WWX’s wrist in public for much longer than socially appropriate.  

I actually get a little emotional every time I rewatch this episode and watch Jin Ling display his mad archery skills because I would always think of how much he takes after his dad. His parents would’ve been so proud to see him all grown up like this; Shijie would’ve been so happy she probably would get teary-eyed as well every time she saw her boy in action. Sure, he’s a spoiled little princess, but he is also a pretty skilled princess with a heart of gold and I just wish they had more time together as a family.  

They looked so happy, look at all those smiles. It really makes me so sad that Wei Ying will probably never be able to hug JC like that again, and of course he’ll never be able to hug Shijie period. Great now I want to cry again.

Lan Jingyi Appreciation Section

I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned this precious boy by name so far, so I wanted to take this opportunity to show him some much deserved love. Lan Jingyi with his resting bitch face and steady stream of snark was really the MVP of this episode. He actually made me laugh out loud a few times...in fact, he almost always makes me laugh as soon as he scrunches up his face like he’s smelling something bad. I recently saw someone mention that he’s really the most un-Lan of the Lans (sorry, I forgot who posted that so I apologies for not giving proper credit) and that is really the perfect description of him. I love this kid as much as I love Sizhui and Jin Ling, and I am also sincerely fascinated by him. I mean, who raised him in the Gusu Lan sect? Cuz I cannot imagine Lan Qiren being the one since Jingyi undoubtedly would’ve had all his snark driven out of him at an early age. Hell, the amount of disciplinary action he probably had to have gone through would’ve probably killed him at a young age.  Did he join the sect when he was already fully formed so that’s why he’s still breaking Lan sect rules right and left? He threatened an old man and is like rude to everyone. I don’t know all 3000 rules but I’m pretty sure being mean to the elderly and insulting to supposedly mentally unstable people are probably not allowed. If anything, his disposition would make him more suitable for the Lanling Jin sect and yet he’s with the stuffy Lans. WHY? I could watch a whole spin-off series with just him and the other juniors as long as we get to learn about how he came to be with the Gusu Lan sect. He’s hilarious and adorable, and among the many the reasons why I wish we had more episodes for the present-day arc, one of them is because I wanted to spend more time with the juniors, especially Lan Jingyi, even if it meant the screenwriters would’ve had to go off book and create new scenes for them. It would’ve been well worth it to hear LJY throw more shade at people.  

Random Bits of Randomness

It’s kinda crazy how WWX just stood there with his back turned, oblivious to Jin Ling’s attack. If Lan Zhan’s blade hadn’t blocked JL’s sword, that would’ve been the end of our main protagonist. I just thought that was such an odd scene...I would’ve felt just a little better if Wei Ying had at least had a little more awareness that an attack was heading for him and made some attempt to get out of the way.  

Ugh, that mask. First of all it’s ugly AF, and secondly it’s so freaking ill-fitting it was distracting. Would’ve been nice if the production team gave him a mask that actually fit his face. I mean, did it HAVE to be THAT damn big? I’m amazed they don’t have bts clips of Xiao Zhan tripping and hurting himself because the stupid mask blocked his vision.

Other than being a brilliant mastermind and Oscar-worthy actor, Nie Huaisang has got to be one of the greatest cultivators if not THE greatest cultivator of all time to be able to conjure up an illusion like that. That thing was doing real damage to people. If it was just a phantom, what the heck was holding up those two cultivators in midair like that? And what kicked Jin Ling around? I know Wei Ying was able to drive people crazy with his flute during his Yiling Patriarch phase, but his handiwork still felt more grounded and reasonable than this.  

Questions I still have (please feel free to answer them):

- Who was that old man at the grave? Someone NHS paid to just hang around the graves until the juniors and WWX came by?  

- So NHS basically fucked up Yan’s entire family and God knows how many other people just to get WWX to eventually play his flute to lure Wen Ning out from wherever he was hiding?

- How did JGY not know Wen Ning escaped? Or did he just leave those details to Xue Yang so he didn’t really care about what happened to Wen Ning?  I’m trying if this was addressed in the book but my mind is coming up empty. I don’t think it was brought up in the show though, or I just completely missed it.

Overall Episode Rating: 9 Lil Apples out of 10

[lightcreators]

@sunsbreath​

Every time than Tanjirō Kamado would leave for a mission, he would take attention to leave a good last memory before couple of hours / days / weeks separated them --- a good meal, a couple of unexpected advice, a charming smile exposing the gentleness he owned inside, a caring gesture that could be unnoticed…Lelouch would remained then into the spot when he could seeing him go. Internally, he might regret to not having a further active position --- to contenting himself to be that mysterious though dangerous presence in the background. Eventually, at some point, when Tanjirō would know enough about him for be reassured about his potentiality of survival….he would bring that temptation on, not doing in the front line in the battle but doing more interesting things. Oh, there was already a lie under that thought: he had been planned it since a long while how it look like. His mind needed to ease emotional distress hence he written among various probabilities of battle coming from the stories he hear enough decorated screenplay for be convincing: the right time wasn’t just yet there. The same place in which Tanjirō who have leaved would be looked at the next days, approximately into the same hour at the morning, when gentleness selfish emotions would be frontally exposed under his features.  It was, coming from his perspective, purely self-centered to considering Tanjirō-kun as a son --- he would sadistically murdering in the worst of manner anyone who dared touched to him or causing him harm for the simplest desire to bring him pain ; he would gladly passing twenty hours a day close to his presence meanwhile accepting his privacy and be certain he was the main cause of his happiness ; he would without hesitation doing anything for him…while be emotionally aware he wasn’t his biological father and cannot pretend any kind of attachment movement towards the Demon Slayer position. Still, regardless of how internally he was considering the context, how attached he was shown everywhere.

Especially when he was leaving. Thankful to his custom to dwell about how emotionally selfish he was into the loving bond he had, instead of focusing too much at the dangers he might cross at the moment he was self-reflective, Lelouch enjoyed these moments for appeasing his mind. It was into these instants when he understood a little harder that loneliness sentiment into the absence --- emotion he had been familiar with during large portions of his life for be himself surprising to discovering another depths…meanwhile be accepted into the softness he will have to get used to it. Preferring to remain unnoticed when he withdraw from his house comfort for going outside, he was looking for news, hear people talks with innocence, add his presence into games play. His chessboard approach would have get the chance to metamorphosing with others occasions --- after all, the go, though not as popular as it was, was a perfect matching-perspective for thinking about advice concerning demons battles and the shogi flattered his crafty performances. The rest of his time was passed to hiding himself into some hobby manufacturing of kimonos and anything that could give the elegance of the day without admitting that he was the creator. He documented himself by trying to overcome at certain times to have revolutionary ideas --- hence was forcing himself to remain calm every time something politic was mentioned. More than one time, walking in the street and feeling lightly bored, his veins of revolutionaries wanted to reveal themselves to change a few things that bothered him… but since he wanted to remain discreet, whenever he felt bored in this sense, he tried to enter into communication to convince…no one would need to know unless some great powers revisited their plans a few months later that he had been the cause of the spark…

It was in the culinary moments than Lelouch betraying himself the most for not having to deal frontally with his emotions --- in the middle of increased his skills for offering better meals to his kid, he ate what he liked when he wasn't there to think about him... while undeniably looking for a higher quality to bring to the dishes who transformed him into an apprentice starred chef cooking to forget his emotional pain. It often amused him that his inability to sit around doing nothing for two seconds so as not to remember his anxiety pushed him to the extreme. After all, was he not the entirely extremist man who generated great resources starting from a little good attention, promptly summarizing his existence ?

The softness of the sun on his face reminded him that a new day must have passed. His gaze glimpsed the place of departure in a certain inability to remember the period of departure --- everything became distorted, amplified in his constant fear for him that the time itself became too long --- in which his purple gaze found sudden reassurance. How naturally happiness reached his features to witnessed the human shape of his son giving him another physical desire to welcoming him --- at least, he wouldn’t have to wondering how to pass twenty hours today with his own thoughts…however a frown reached soon enough his face into his returning self-reflective thoughts: did he saw correctly than Tanjirō was limping? Two general questions were paused at some point when he was returning: How are you? Tell me what happened? Overall, Lelouch disliked in most part the answers, aware he cannot awaiting himself to received good news into them as a fairytale. Lelouch also disliked his own abilities to seeking the forgotten elements into the story, how sometimes Tanjirō didn’t told him the whole truth as he was scared of the consequences for the culprits --- which wasn’t false --- along the various details into his features. He was taking the responsibility blow than no one, even Tanjirō, asking him to take. Lelouch could even be even critical with himself: it was physically impossible for emotionally ask him to be remain peaceful if some stuff who happened suddenly made him want to murder someone…which made it attractive to run away from inner desires in a good meal to leave that part of his personality silent. Which would have chance to happen today --- regardless of the smaller hints he would have. Emotion soon overcome and appeasing themselves under the scent of a reunited home between each other. Lelouch himself would continue to impress himself of what affections towards his youngest had effect on him.

Amethyst gaze crossed fiery fire one in the smoothness exposed into half-contemplation one. How natural his position choice coming from his home had been presented was a sign than indeed he had been welcomed --- though he would quiet he was waiting for him every time he was leaving. Lelouch could have talked the moment he hear his name into the realization he had been waiting, however preferred spared them until some seconds later appropriate later would come. Gentleness of a smile pictured as he could feel some of his worries fated away replaced into the excitement and future self-control to have concerning how it had been, watching over his little sister protected into the box --- oh, he will take great care of her too, her who was fated to appreciating the darkness as lifestyle and protected during the day of the powerful danger of the light….as he would be sure his big brother would have no complain to make unless concerning some parental moves under his care. How proud he was to feeling as a dad appeared accidentally in the middle of his thoughts as he was catching up off-guard as the same time by the apology and a gift presence --- as much he loved showing his pride into unexpected moments and learn to not answering indignity with difficulties, since day one, Lelouch vi Britannia wasn’t used to someone giving him an positive recognition or be nice with him. By definition, at the core, as the greatest liar with himself he was and as the most selfless person he was in his soul --- he wasn’t a good person therefore understood reproaches on his person.

❝   Tanjirō-kun, welcome back.  ❞ Lelouch introduced firstly before smiling with oblivious embarrassment towards his last words, watching that leg who was limping instead before returning his gaze under his face.  ❝ --- why did you apology?  ❞  Did something happened worth apology for? Should I preparing myself not to be pleased another time? As his thoughts reacted, another acceptance it was about his emotional worried state push to ignore it….better accepting it without bring comfort. On that part, he would always be worried for his well-being. Finally, he blinked to the last words he hear.  ❝ --- you…uh…you have think of me while you were away?  ❞ Where the last time did he received a gift without concerning his sister or his dearest immortal witch? He couldn’t remember.  ❝ I am honored….come, you will show me and explain your adventure.  ❞