#man i saw a post that was like 'its dumb to go we were robbed abt concept art solas bc-' I DONT CAAAAARE

[jackals-ships]

OHO THO I CAN ALSO TALK AGAIN ABOUT CONCEPT ART SOLAS

listen. do i love his in game design? yes love my egg boy

do i wish they had kept his concept art design? esp the middle left? also yes

[renyen808]

The Little Mermaid Remake Deserves to Exist

Hello everyone!! I don’t say this often, but I adored the live action remake of the Little Mermaid, which was released late May. 

(Credit: IMDb)

Now, I know how the internet itself feels about these remakes, so before we go into the review, I want to be transparent about my feelings when it comes to the live action remakes. 

My feelings are mixed about it. I sometimes don’t think they’re that bad. I can hear the booing as I write this, but I don’t believe they’re that bad. I think they’re bad when they don’t tell a new story. For instance, the 2017 Beauty and the Beast, although it did a lot from the animated version, gave Belle’s mom some sort of story and made Beast a bit more sympathetic. The 2019 The Lion King told the story word for word, so in turn, the magic is gone. I watched both of these in the theater by the way, and may I just say, the Lion King is my favorite animated movie ever, so you can sense my disappointment. 

The Little Mermaid is another favorite of mine. I loved the original, just the idea of being a mermaid amazed me. Especially living in Hawaii, I loved the water. Ariel’s voice was also incredible, being the best singer of all of the princesses. While Jodi Benson’s Ariel is timeless and will live on to inspire other girls to dream, Halle Bailey’s Ariel will do exactly the same thing, but for even more girls, girls that never saw the original and thought, that’s me.

(Credit: Digital Spy)

Halle Bailey as Ariel is the best part of the movie and it shows that director Rob Marshall made the best choice when it comes choosing our mermaid. She embodied Ariel so well, as this infectious, curious, adventurous girl who wanted to explore the above world. I love more so how the romance aspect was second to her true passion for the above world, exploration. Bailey did, in my opinion, the best job of elevating Ariel for newer audiences, showing that it is okay to explore on your own, take risks, and that you never need a man’s hand to be successful. In many ways, I prefer this interpretation of Ariel as opposed to the original because of its amazing message. 

The other characters are all great! Daveed Diggs as Sebastian was amazing! I already love Diggs as it is, so I was not surprised that he was great here too. I also loved Melissa McCarthy as Ursula. I know people were skeptical about her and I’m still on the side of she should have been played by a drag queen, but McCarthy did a phenomenal job. By the way, for my choice of performer for Ursula, it would have to be Ginger Minj. Awkwafina was good as Scuttle, though I have to say I would not feel comfortable if they made Scuttle the same way as the original. Jacob Tremblay as Flounder was okay, I was a little put off by his design still, but it didn’t ruin the experience for me. I was happy to see Javier Bardem in a role where he wasn’t the villain. I saw people say he was too strict on Ariel, but he’s the same way in the animated version. Jonah Hauer-King is incredible as Eric, taking a mid-tier prince into the top-tier charming man that Ariel deserves. Overall, all of the side and villain characters are incredible!

Established in my first movie review post, I rate things on a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being the absolute best, and 1 being the absolute worst. I don’t do 1 to 5 because I am afraid I will do some dumb rating like 3.3 out of 5. So, for consistency, I will only use whole numbers to rate things. 

(Credit: CNN)

For me, The Little Mermaid remake gets an 8 out of 10. The entire movie is magical, especially Halle Bailey as Ariel. From the minor characters to the changes to the story, and the timeless classics reimagined here, you will not have a bad time here. I will discuss some of my criticisms below, but it is mainly flow issues and drastic changes in character (*cough* Eric *cough), but I will share that with you later. Overall, it is a great watch for families and especially young girls and women, you will not regret it.

This is the end of my review, which means I am moving onto my spoiler summary below. For the remakes from Disney (and possibly DreamWorks), I will be doing something a little bit different. For these, I will be doing a Compare and Contrast with the original work. I want to do this because many argue that Disney doesn’t need to be making these remakes if the originals are still there. However, I believe that when we look at them side by side, sometimes the meaning is different, and in a way, they deserve to exist next to their animated counterpart. I know there will always be people that complain about not wanting to compare it to the original, but, this way I won’t be just retelling the whole story (since I am sure we all know the story) and that way, you can clearly see the differences between the two. So, with that, I am done with my explanation. If this is where you will be leaving us, I hope you enjoyed reading my review of The Little Mermaid remake. If you enjoyed reading it, share it with a friend who may also enjoy it. Comments are always welcome, but keep it nice. Everyone is entitled to their opinions and shouldn’t be attacked because of them. Thank you for reading! See you in the next post!

SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS! 

So, for our first difference, the remake starts out with a quote from the original story written by Hans Christian Anderson. It states “But a mermaid has no tears, and therefore she suffers so much more”. This quote opening the movie gives us an insight as to why Ariel’s suffering throughout the movie is much more emotional than it was in the original. Benson’s Ariel was crying throughout the movie, and while you are upset for her, it never really showed how much it affected her because she was always crying. Bailey’s Ariel, however, never could cry, until the very end, when she was finally human. She suffered so much throughout, making her pain even more upsetting, showing that even though she feels heartbreak, she cannot show it, like a mask. In the end, she was able to shed a tear, and finally express her sadness. The movie also has Eric in the beginning as well, sailing the seas and stopping the men on board from killing an innocent dolphin.

(Credit: YouLoveIt.com)

The movie is pretty much the same up until Ariel’s sisters and Triton show up. The sisters’ names are different from the original sisters. In the original, all their names started with A: Attina, Alana, Adela, Aquata, Arista, and Andrina. They were, honestly, kinda snobbish. I didn’t really care for them in the original. I mean, they acted like sisters, but I don’t have any sisters. I am one, just I don’t have any myself, if that makes sense. Okay, moving on. In the remake, we have Perla, Indira, Karina, Caspia, Mala, and Tamika. Each mermaid has a different ethnicity and rules a different ocean, so they are not home in Atlantica all the time, unlike Ariel. The reason they are all there is different too, as in the original, Sebastian held a concert with all of Triton’s daughters, minus Ariel since she never showed up. Here, there is no concert, but they are there for the Coral Moon meeting. Ariel misses this as well. 

Bailey’s rendition of Part of Your World is fantastic here as well. It shows off her playful spirit while also holding a sense of longing that Ariel desperately has for the above world. I cannot gush about her enough, she was just the best choice! If you have not listened to it before, DO IT! Everything is the same, she saves Eric and she climbs the rock while singing the reprise, but it is actually a bit different from the original. See, in the original, Eric was reviving while Ariel was just admiring him. In the remake, Ariel had to use her siren song to revive him, ultimately saving Eric from drowning. 

(Credit: Classic FM)

Afterwards, we reach one of the most recognizable sequences from the original movie. The Under the Sea portion is one I had a few issues with. First off, the lyrics should have been changed here. We will see later that some of the original songs had their lyrics changed, so it was possible. However, here, they just chose to leave it in when none of it was happening. There is a part of the song, where Sebastian is listing off sea creatures playing instruments (i.e. newt play the flute, carp play the harp). None of that was happening on the screen though, and it was just Ariel riding a sea turtle’s shell. You could have done one of two things here: either replace the lyrics with something else, or you show the animals playing the instruments. We are not looking for realistic storytelling here, it is a story about a mermaid, nothing is realistic. Another thing is Ariel singing here. I know Bailey has an amazing voice, and I love hearing her, but this song is about trying to convince Ariel to stay, why would she just be singing along? It was just a weird character choice that I did not agree with.

(Credit: Digital Spy)

Eric, however, is one that made me very happy. He gets a huge expansion in the remake, and I love these changes. First off, Eric is not just some dull prince that is eye candy for Ariel. Here, he wants to help the people he is ruling over, wanting to make things better. He also has a sense of adventure and exploration, wanting to sail more than be a royal. He also has a mother here, an adopted mom, Queen Selina, played by Noma Dumezweni. His mother actually forbids him from sailing after the accident and in his dismay, he sings the first original song Wild Uncharted Waters. This song, on first listen, was just a mid tier song for me, but after listening to it more and more, it actually helps to see and understand Eric. With Ariel’s voice stuck in his head, he cannot seem to shake her and return to the life he once knew. He has a control over him that is unlike anything he has experienced before, it’s new and it is the key to him escaping this life he feels trapped in. Hauer-King’s performance as Eric is another great casting choice, he not only played Eric perfectly, he exceeded expectations.

During the scene with Ariel and her sisters, instead of them getting ready, they’re all clear debris from a fallen ship. Ariel’s absent mindedness is apparent to her sisters, and this plays out like in the original, except after Triton destroys Ariel’s stuff, the remake Ariel does not cry, though she is clearly in despair. 

Ursula in the remake is also different. Here, it is clear from the get go that Triton and Ursula are related, and that she was banished from Atlantica for fifteen years. McCarthy’s rendition of Poor Unfortunate Souls lives up to the original’s sung by the late Pat Carroll. This rendition, however, is not as sexualized and demeaning as the original was, with the remake choosing to omit that entire portion about men not wanting to hear women talk, or the importance of body language, which I was fine with. That is not the story they are trying to tell, and I can respect choosing to leave that out. Also, instead of signing a contract, Ariel was forced to pick a scale from her tail and throw it into Ursula’s cauldron. Another thing that was sneaky but also an intelligent way to get Ariel to not try to kiss Eric all the time was to give her a spell to make her forget. I love this twist because Ariel wasn’t just trying to kiss Eric the entire time, which I enjoyed, but it was aggravating at times to see her not try to kiss him.

When she gets her legs, Ariel is actually caught in the net of a local fisherman and taken to the castle as she sings an original song in her head called For the First Time. This song is an adventurous one, one that shows Ariel’s curiosity of this world that she has just been thrown into. She is getting ready to meet Eric, who has been frantically searching for the woman who saved him (i.e. Ariel), but when they finally meet, he is initially turned away due to her lack of voice. She is shown being upset, again not shedding a tear, and is initially heartbroken. Later on, she explores the castle and runs into Eric in his room full of items he himself has collected over the years, and they spend time together, with Eric explaining everything and Ariel showing him the secrets hidden underneath some of his collection. 

(Credit: Empire Online)

She and Eric go out, like in the original, where Ariel steers a carriage, and they make it to a market, where Jodi Benson ‘passes the torch’ to Halle herself. This scene made me tear up a bit, I am not going to lie. They also buy Eric a hat, and they dance with people in the courtyard. As they were making their way back, Scuttle steals Eric’s hat and leads them to a boat, where they row as Sebastian sings Kiss the Girl. Due to the forgetting spell, Sebastian is trying to convince Eric to kiss Ariel without Ariel realizing what is going on. We all know what happens here, and this is where I begin to have some issues. I know Scuttlebutt is here, and it is fine. That’s all I will say.

First off, before I talk about Vanessa, Ariel sings another reprise of Part of Your World here, and I think this is placed in the wrong part of the movie. I get that this song is supposed to show her heartbreak since she is seeing the guy she likes about to be engaged to someone else, but I honestly think it would have been better at the very end, when she was a mermaid watching Eric from afar. The lyrics fit better, it seems more sad because more than ever they are separated, and it just fits better here than right after learning about Vanessa. All in all, this was a misstep, and I feel it should be moved to where I suggested. 

Vanessa here is played by the wonderful Jessica Alexander, who makes herself very memorable for such little screen time. However, I am confused for so many reasons with her inclusion. First off, we have already seen how much Eric enjoyed having Ariel with him, and it is very clear that he is off put by this. I don’t really buy that he is hypnotized. In fact, I think when he first sees her, he is initially confused. I mean, I can relate bro so don’t worry. Secondly, her skin tone is nothing like Bailey’s skin tone, and I know he did not get a good look at her, but why couldn’t they choose an actress with a similar tone? I know it is cruel, but Halle has a sister. Overall, I felt Vanessa was way more forced here than in the original, and it just does not fit this story.

(Credit: Twitter User @aficianad0__)

I just have to bring up how much a king Hauer-King (ha!) is in this one compared to the original. As Ariel transformed back, he held her in his arms and tried to protect her, while the animated one just stood and looked at her, like what the heck dude? Protect her! You just found out she saved you and you just look at her like, Oh snap! You a fish, girl? What should I do?” Animated Ariel deserved better, ugh.

(Credit: The Canberra Times)

Anyway, everything happens the same from here on out, except, Ariel is the one to kill Ursula, not Eric. She is actually on the boat while Eric is being shot at from below, and I really enjoy this change. Remember, Ariel has her tail now, so she has to think of a way to use the momentum around her being out of the water to try and steer the boat. By the way, this sequence and Ariel saving Eric earlier was very hard for me to watch due to the strobing lightning effects. 

Everything happens the same, and my disappointment cannot be measured when I saw they did not give Ariel a new DRESS!! What the heck?! She only gets one dress from the movie when the animated one got three?! Ugh, I was so disappointed, but this ending did not disappoint. In fact, I’d argue it is better than the original.

In the original, we all know that she marries Eric and lives close to home in Eric’s castle. In the remake, however, I am not sure if they get married, I have no idea, but there is a ceremony, before Eric and Ariel begin to explore the world together. As they board the boat, Triton and Ariel’s sisters breach the surface to say goodbye, and I love this line from Javier Bardem, which says ��You shouldn’t have had to give up your voice to be heard.” And at that moment, I cried. I cried so hard. Ariel finally sheds a tear, saddened about leaving her home and her family behind, but grateful that her father is on her side now. She embraces Triton before he pushes the boat away from them towards their ship, and that is the end. I love that they ended the remake this way as opposed to the wedding. The wedding would have actually been an insult to this rendition of Ariel and Eric and I really enjoyed that they get to explore now and live life the way they want to instead of living the ways of their parents. 

(Credit: DeviantArt User mintmovi3)

All in all, The Little Mermaid remake deserves to exist amongst the others. I have seen many people for different reasons trying to boycott this movie, whether that be for racist reasons, hating the remakes, and so forth. I will not tolerate racism in any fashion, and to everyone hating on the remakes, let’s not die on this hill where a fantastic actress of color just performed the best live action Disney Princess performance ever. Let’s not die on this hill, alright? Support this film, support Halle Bailey, support the amazing story they have made here! It is better than the rest, I promise!

With that, it is the end of my comparison and I thank you for reading this far! If you enjoyed reading my stuff, share it with a friend who may also like it as well. Comments are always welcome, but keep it nice. Everyone is entitled to their opinions and shouldn’t be attacked because of them. Thank you for reading! See you in the next post!

[lover-of-trash-and-people]

shadow and bone rewatch s1e6 while drinking mid-range scotch

I wish I have a face that is as unlined and pretty as Ben Barnes' when I'm 39

Arken you dirty dirty liar

the face Alek is making at his lies that he knows are lies firstly because he knows the art of lying so well and also because he can read people very well

okay Ivan is kind of a bad bitch with his smirk at Arken's lies

alek's eyes narrowing and his little smile when Arken says 'im an entertainer' bitch I love this show

*grabs hand, pulls up sleeve, and discovers Arken's hand is full of marks indicating successful passages through the fold* 'well, that is certainly entertaining' I love this man with all my heart

him screaming is so fucking hot, is that weird for me to say

Nina being the Darkling's spy is quite interesting

Ben giving the Darkling crazy eyes when Arken owns up to his guilt is so cool

also wtf is Arken a fool trying to negotiate with possibly the strongest man in the world

kind of loved the darkness literally eating him

also love Alina learning to use her powers better when she is alone than when she is with anyone else, wish we got to see the cut in this season as per the books, ah can't have everything I guess

the camera pan to Jesper's gun at his side, amazing

god Jessie is literally so beautiful I need to see her bring Alina to the peak of her power so bad

netflix you better renew this series to let the plot run to its completion

HOW THE FUCK DID THEY CAST THE CROWS SO PERFECTLY

INEJ FUCKING TREMBLING JUST THE TINIEST BIT AS SHE BOWS SLIGHTLY TO ALINA SGSHSBSJJSJSSJ MY TWO QUEENS

'And where is my Summoner?' my little Darklina heart ouchie I really wish you hadn't used and manipulated her like this Alek it was incredibly fucked up especially considering you actually caught feelings

'Ivan and I won't fail you' oh Fedyor my baby, my angel, you don't deserve what is coming

Helnik literally recreating Titanic lmao stop this is a joke

I too would jump off the raft if I came to consciousness to see a gorgeous woman with magical powers with her hand on my back

omg but why is ryevost so pretty though

'I know exactly how she felt. The King's soldiers treated me the same way... I'm not myself today.' why must you do this to me, why must you fuel my darklina soulmates agenda idiocy

I don't quite think I have a problem with the Zoya Darkling relationship as much as I have a problem with the line they chose to reveal it to use with.

my drink's over and I don't know if I should have another, considering that it's 7 am

the tenderness with which he looks at Zoya and takes her hand and then when he says 'I shall relax when I have Alina' makes me believe more that the man that is reduced to tears time and again in front of Alina could in fact be the master manipulator I know him to be

god I can't wait for Zoya's character arc

'I speak six languages, it's part of my job' why is Nina literally the fucking coolest

Alina blinding the oprichniki was so hot, I can't wait to see more of her power and her ruthlessness

I know I've said it before but good god is Jessie Mei Li gorgeous

HER LITTLE SMILE AMONGST ALL THE PANIC AS SOON AS SHE SEES MAL, THE AUDACITY OF THIS SHOW TO MAKE ME FEEL THIS WAY

THE SCORE COMING IN AT THE RIGHT MOMENT, THEIR HANDS MEETING, HER SMILE AGAIN DHDHSBSNSNSNSNAN IM IN PAIN

REALLY?! YOU'RE GONNA GO DIRECTLY FROM MALINA TO HELNIK WITH NO CONCERN FOR MY HEART?

I simply cannot get over Calahan's accent lmao it's really funny

'im not afraid of you' he says to the insanely gorgeous girl with magic

HIM HANGING HIS HEAD IN DEFEAT TO INDICATE NINA HAS MADE VALID POINTS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I CAN'T BREATHE

'You're just a man. Like all the others.' she says and then forgets her train of thought looking at him as he strips. god I love this

not sleeping all night and then scotch is not a good idea, I think

'I promise not to ravish you' 'I hate the way you talk' her hand on his chest, his hand gripping hers, my fucking heart feels like it's about to explode

good god these shooting locations and sets are so beautiful

Alina throwing the flask at Mal and Mal going 'OI!' I fucking can't, I guess I am a

simp for childhood friends to lovers, give me more of that banter and childhood friend energy, I am thriving

wow it literally seems like they took book! Mal sl*tshaming book! Alina and made show! Alina sl*tshame show! Mal, hmm, interesting

'They would have split us up!' MAL'S LITTLE SMILE AT THIS, and the 'You wrote me letters?' Mal's nod, the Malina yearning stare, the Malina hug, 'thank you for finding me' 'always. I'll always find you.' NO MALINA YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU HAVE MADE ME ABSOLUTELY FUCKING FERAL

I understand they had to split time between my ravkan babies and the crows and that is why there were several aspects that were sort of not reflected on enough but Alina's training at the Little Palace, Alina's cut, Mal's personality, a teensy bit of backstory for the crows, maybe one lockpicking scene from my boy Kaz

random note: we have far too many idols and paintings and pictures and whatnot of Hindu deities in our house apart from the specially designed temple (we are Hindus, so maybe it's not that weird but it's a little weird)

Kaz's cane is a literal star, it's so beautiful my heart wants to explode

'Why would Heleen get the Crow Club?' *literally fucking gets up and walks aways instead of answering the fucking question* I LITERALLY CAN'T BREATHE I'M LOSING MY MIND

'I know that voice' WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO MAKE ME FIGHT FOR PLATONIC SHIPS IN FANDOMS

'We won't starve' omg get you someone who packs food for you when you go on the run together hiding from your ex who wants to capture you and use your powers as a weapon against your consent

Mal looking surprised at her summoning sunlight, Alina looking cautiously at him waiting for him to disapprove or run for the hills in fear or smth like that, 'I'm sorry it took me this long to see you... But I see you now' my dumb little shipper trash heart ouch

they really said we're gonna feed you this part asian couple as the protagonists in this show in 2021 and guess what I'm eating it's really tasty I'm very satisfied as a south asian

NINA'S LITTLE SMILE WHEN MATTHIAS WAKES UP WITH HIS ARM AROUND HER

'I can feel how much you hate sleeping next to me' 👀👀👀 BITCH SAID IMMA SPILL THE TEA AND THEN SHE DID

it's 8 am and guess what I'm getting another drink my parents have c*vid and are in govt qu*r*ntine centres there is nobody to supervise or stop me

I too say 'Why do you have to say things like that?' to my pretty crush when she flirts with me

Nina smiling at Matthias bragging about his conservative ways is my aesthetic

'No, it's not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall and yet, oh, there you stand.' MY FUCKING QUEEN

Matthias laughing uncontrollably at Nina saying something which isn't even that funny is a whole ass vibe

Kaz Brekker saying 'The Black General' ooh fuck yeah

YESSSS STEP OUT OF THAT CARRIAGE ALL SEXY BLACK GENERAL

isn't alcohol supposed to like kill germs? well, the amount in my system definitely will

I love my crows so much (always but this time particularly for setting that alarm in the stolen carriage)

ooh Polina recognising Inej by the knife yesss let's go writers

this Ivan Jesper showdown is all I needed from life and yet did not know about

Ivan taking off his cloak was, um, sexier than I wanted it to be

I just realised how thirsty I am going to sound in this post

'Has no one told you that keftas are Fabrikator-made and resistant to bullets, hmm?' 'Oh, I do love a challenge' LITERALLY EVERYTHING

im sorry to be pointing out flaws in a perfect show and adaptation but the line delivery on 'You robbed me of my brother, now I'll rob you of your life' from Polina was kind of weak

'You're a-' *gets knocked out with the back of a gun* LMAO we love the hints

got excited at the prospect of kaz v. zoya until I realised they will not be letting the opportunity of kaz v. darkling pass up

my goodness is Amita Suman a splendid actress

I AM NOT KIDDING WHEN I TELL YOU I SQUEALED WHEN I SAW DARKLES EMERGE OUT OF THE SHADOWS IN FRONT OF MY BABY BOY KAZ

THERE BEING ACTUAL FEAR OR ATLEAST DOUBT ON KAZ'S FACE, THE LITTLE BACK STEPS AS

THE DARKLING WALKS TOWARDS HIM, AAAAH I CAN'T

THE DARKLING STOPPING AT KAZ SAYING 'SHE FLED ON HER OWN' AND THE HINT OF TEARS THAT WE SEE IN HIS EYES

'IT WAS PRETTY CLEAR SHE WASN'T INTERESTED IN BEING A CAPTIVE ANYMORE' YOU TELL HIM, KING

*ACTUAL FUCKING TEARS IN THE DARKLING'S EYES AS THE SHADOWS APPROACH*

NOT ME YOWLING LIKE A HYENA THAT THIS CHILD OUTSMARTED THE MOST POWERFUL MAN IN EXISTENCE WITH A FAKE MAGIC TRICK

'Are you sure you added enough cloves?' literally warranting a wide ass smile from my queen Alina making my entire fucking day

for some reason, no matter how much I push it from my mind, Ben Barnes dressed up as the Darkling, dancing to 'push it' keeps coming to mind, it's absolutely ridiculous

I got somehow distracted with interviews but good things came out of that as it gave my body the time for the booze to kick in

and I would just like to say that I love Leigh for all she has given me

Alina is so fucking compassionate, I have no much love for her. I can feel her guilt and her sorrow as Mal talks of Mikhail and Dubrov

don't particularly like how the stag plotline is woven in, could have been executed better

'You're afraid you might start to like me?' *flaps furs like a bird's wings in frustration*

'I DO like you' my fucking heart you idiots

the sexual tension is so palpable and the moment is so intimate I simply cannot

OMG SHE FUCKING FELL

that moment where you think he might let her fall despite having read the books and he doesn't and he tells her his name I- <3

YOU DARE TRANSITION FROM A HELNIK SCENE TO A KANEJ SCENE YOU REALLY HAVE NO MERCY FOR MY HEART HUH

people have talked about this endlessly but Freddie's little jaw tic after he says Inej because Inej is wounded and he can't physically bring himself to help her I fucking cannot

THE MUSIC PICKING UP AS KAZ LOOKS TO THE DARKLING'S CARRIAGE I CAN'T WITH THIS SHOW ANYMORE

and now for one of my favorite scenes in television and cinematic history, David Kostyk throwing a book at Jesper Fahey without even knowing who he is merely because he opens the door of his carriage and says hello to him before getting knocked out by Kaz Brekker while trying to run away

Immediately followed by another, the scene with David Kostyk raising his finger to put forward his point in front of the Darkling and the Darkling trying to let him know he doesn't have to before obliging is one of my favourite scenes in the world

also sir please stop being devastatingly attractive in your glorious appearance with your face and your black kefta and cloak because all that comes to mind is Ayesha Erotica's Emo Boy and I'm afraid that is terribly inappropriate.

'No, you look great.' *literally looks down from embarrassment or blushing* MALINA RIGHTS?

THE LOOK ON THE DARKLING'S FACE BEFORE HE SAYS 'NO ORDINARY TRACKER, NO ORDINARY GIRL' BITCH IM OUT OF BREATH

'ORPHANS OF KERAMZIN, REUNITED.' 'ADORABLE.' HE FUCKING SNEERED IRL I FUCKING CANNOT

GOD IT'S SO GOOD

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Banner

One Shot: The Life Of Marv

Summary: Katie rescues a Turkey from slaughter, much to Tony’s annoyance.

Warnings: Language!

A/N- This was written as requested to accompany Ch 11: A Turkey Called Marv in Stark Spangled Banner, and fills us in on Marv the Turkey, and how he became a much loved (well, sorta!) Stark family Pet...

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist

November 2001

It was a complete accident. Well, not going veggie, but Katie didn’t mean to steal the poor thing from the farm. She really didn’t. Well at least that’s what she told Tony. And now it was sat in the large, sprawling grounds of the Malibu mansion whilst Tony simply pinched the bridge of his nose and glared at his 17 year old sister. “This has to be up there with the most DUMB assed things you have ever done”. He rolled his eyes. “Ever” “I couldn’t leave him” Katie said, “he was lonely and gonna end up someones Thanksgiving dinner.” “Its a fucking turkey Kiddo."  Tony groaned, watching the bird strut around the grounds, completely non-plussed at being uprooted from the farmyard 20 miles up the road "that’s what he was bred for” “Meat is murder Tony” “Oh for fucks sake…” he groaned “you know, I put up with this bullshit, the blue hair, the fucking emo clothes…but no. The Turkey goes back” “Best catch it then” Katie said, shrugging “I ain’t taking Marv back to be killed.” “Marv?” Rhodey asked, from where he was stood next to Tony “you called him Marv?” “He looks like Marv from Home Alone” “No, he looks like a turkey. A stolen turkey” Tony sighed “Rhodey, gimme a hand man…” “Oh no.” Rhodey shook his head “this is all yours Tony” “I’ll remember that…” Tony glared and stepped towards the bird. Instantly it flares its feathers up and made some kind of growling noise and launched at Tony who staggered backwards, toppling over one of the chairs that was positioned on the grounds. Katie doubled over with laughter and Rhodey let out a small snigger as Tony stood up, dusting down his jeans. “What the fuck?” He looked at Katie “how did you get near it?” Katie shrugged and walked over to Marv who looked at her shrewdly before he fluffed down his feathers and she bent to pick him up. “He likes me” “I give in.” Tony groaned “I raised a stubborn, pig headed asshole” So Marv the Turkey lived for thanksgiving.

*****

November 2002

“Hey Marv” Katie cooed, stepping into the large pen that was the turkey’s home. The bird strutted out of the large dog kennel he used as a house and Katie sat down, holding out her hand which contained a few blackberries. The turkey pecked at the fruit and she gently stroked his head before standing up and opening the gate to let him out of his pen. He followed Katie round the pool area and when she sat down on one of the loungers he plopped himself in the shade next to her, his eyes flicking around. “Just look…” Tony gestured to his sister and that fucking bird. Obediah snickered a little at the sight of the turkey sitting next to Katie like an obedient lap dog. “I think it’s funny…” “You would.” Tony took a pull from his beer “This is kinda your fault for not getting her a dog.” Obi laughed. “How is this my fault?” Tony sputtered “she robbed the damned thing last year at Thanksgiving. Is that it, every time I say no to something she goes and steals?” Obi clapped him on the shoulder as Tony made his way to the large bi-folding doors. “Kiddo… you want eats?” At the sound of Tony’s voice the turkey jumped to its feet and made a low chucking noise, and Katie laughed as Tony narrowed his eyes. “That thing is getting cooked this year.” He glowered. But he didn’t. And Marv the turkey lived for another Thanksgiving. ****

November 2003

“Katie you can’t take the damned bird to the UK.” “But he hates you.” She looked at Tony. “How you gonna feed him and clean him out?” “I’m not. He’s gonna go to a farm” “Don’t you dare.” She hissed. “Don’t worry, I wont let him.” Pepper soothed as the dark haired girl crossed her arms and glared at her brother “I’ll make sure Marv stays” “Where is the little bastard anyway?” Tony asked, looking out into the yard. “Erm… I dunno.” Katie frowned “Marv… MARV…” She headed off in search of her beloved bird and her calls suddenly got more frantic. “Did you let him go?” She demanded of Tony. “Trust me I would love nothing more.” Tony sighed “but it’s more than my life is worth. He has to be around here somewhere…” An hour it took until they finally located him in the downstairs bathroom, surrounded by an entire roll of shredded toilet paper. “I fucking hate that bird” Tony grumbled as Katie and Pepper tried and failed, miserably to hide their laughter. And Marv the turkey lived for another thanksgiving. ****

November 2004

“I swear he has been fine with me all term whilst you have been away!” Tony said, pulling his legs up onto the chair to avoid the bird pecking him to bits. “You saw the photos!” “Maybe he is just protective!” Katie grinned, reaching down and picking Marv up. He settled on her knee with a ruffle of feathers and closed his eyes, cooing softly as Katie gently ran her fingers over the top of his head. “Or maybe he is a giant ass hole” Tony grumbled, looking at the bird over his sunglasses. “Shhh don’t listen to him Marv” Katie said, putting her hands over where the birds ears would be, or are, maybe, Tony has no idea. “Ooooh maybe we should get him a girlfriend” Tony sputtered and looked at his sister “no fucking way.” “I’m only teasing” Katie sighed. “What do you fancy for lunch? Tony asked "I got some of that quinoa stuff and halloumi, thought we could knock up a salad…” “Great.” Katie beamed “but you know I’m not veggie anymore right?” “Since when?” Tony rolled his eyes. “Since I discovered British bacon” she sighed. “Plus i decided its more about how the animals are kept before they die, ya know? So I make sure it’s all free range, organically farmed stuff…” Tony ran a hand over his face before he shot the turkey a sly look “so, this Thanksgiving…” he mimed necking the animal and Katie glared at him. “No. He is a pet. I’m not eating him” So Marv the turkey lived for another thanksgiving.

****

November 2005

Tony threw a cob of corn into the pen where Marv was strutting about. “Eat that you little shit” he grumbled, as the turkey eyed him beadily before he strutted over to the food and began to peck. “Think you need a new house” he said, pulling his jacket further around himself as the November wind coming from the ocean was slightly chilly. He walked round to the side of the dog kennel. The wood was starting to crack and splinter. Pulling out his phone he quickly googled for pet houses and came across something that looked pretty cool. A plastic igloo shaped thing for rabbits. He sent a photo to Katie who called him within 5 minutes as he had just locked the turkey up for the night and headed into the kitchen. “You buying Marv presents?” She giggled “The kennel looks scruffy.” He shrugged simply “thought this would be better.” “He will love it” she laughed. They talked for an hour or so before she excused herself to pack, as her flight home for the holidays was the next day. Tony glanced once more out of the window into the yard to see Marv retreating into his kennel with a strut and a ruffle of feathers. Rolling his eyes he flicked off the lights and headed down to his workshop. “Jarvis, pull up a photo of a Eglu rabbit house” he said, rolling up his sleeves “and convert it to a blue print” “Stark Industries branching out into pet houses now Sir?” The AI asked, amusement in his tone. “Something like that.” Tony grumbled. And Marv the turkey lived another thanksgiving. ******

November 2006

Tony knew instantly when Katie went outside and peeked into the pet house that something was wrong. She wrenched open the hood and reached in and turned to the house with the bird in her arms.

“I think he is sick…” she said, her tone laced with worry as she carried Marv into the kitchen. Tony peered down at the bird, and he had to admit he didn’t look well. His eyes were closed and his breathing was heavy.

“Take him into the lounge” he said softly. Katie sniffed slightly and carried him through the kitchen and Tony sighed.

“Jarvis… what is the average lifespan for a turkey?” He asked quietly.

“The maximum recorded lifespan for a turkey in captivity is twelve years and four months. For turkeys living in the wild, the maximum is less than ten years, but the average life expectancy of a male turkey is just over 2 years and just over 3 years for females.” Jarvis replied.

Tony shook his head and sighed, grabbed the punnet of blackberries from the fridge and made his way into the lounge where Katie was sat with Marv now wrapped in a blanket by the fire.

He sat in front of her and gently offered a handful of the fruit to the bird. It looked at him and then viciously pecked at his hand.

“Bastard” Tony hissed, shaking his hand out and wincing as Katie laughed. Marv ruffled his feathers and closed his eyes. Half an hour later he ruffled and clucked for the last time.

And Marv the Turkey didn’t live for another Thanksgiving.

**Original Posting**

[kurowrites]

Anytime

So, I saw this post and @sarah-yyy‘s tags, and since I’m a dumb person with the attention span of a goldfish, I completely forgot about all my other projects and wrote this instead.

So have Wei Ying owning a car, and Lan Zhan being very, very weak for that smile. Enjoy.

---

The first time it happened, it was… not necessary, perhaps, but certainly welcome.

Lan Zhan stood just outside the large central entrance of the library, barely shielded from the downpour by its projecting roof. The weather broadcast this morning hadn’t announced rain, so Lan Zhan had rode his bicycle to university as he usually would. While he had been studying in the library, however, the weather had changed from partially sunny to what some might be tempted to call the precursor to the apocalypse, and he had missed his chance to return home unscathed. The library would close soon; returning inside wasn’t an option. Neither was riding his bicycle home in this deluge. He could only wait, and maybe call his brother if the bad weather persisted.

He had just made peace with the thought that he would be standing there for a while when someone bumped into his side. Taken by surprise by the sudden physical contact, he swung around, stepping back, but what he found... was Wei Ying, smiling up at him with his usual incandescent grin.

Lan Zhan and Wei Ying had shared exactly one class in their first year of university, but ever since then, Lan Zhan had been unable to escape the acquaintance. Had eventually given up trying to escape the acquaintance, submitting to the inevitable.

It didn’t help that Wei Ying’s happy smile always made his knees weak. Wei Ying was loud and obnoxious, but Lan Zhan would gladly take that loud and obnoxious if it came in combination with that smile. The one that Wei Ying always used on him.

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying exclaimed happily. “Fancy meeting you here! Are you going home?”

“Hn,” Lan Zhan agreed.

When he didn’t move, but simply kept staring out at the falling rain (in an attempt not to stare at Wei Ying for too long), Wei Ying’s smile turned into a frown.

“Ah,” he said, concern now tingeing his voice. “You forgot your umbrella, huh? Not that it will help you much today. It might break in this weather before you’ve made it as far as the next building.”

Lan Zhan had expected Wei Ying to leave after he’d made his customary greeting, but a moment later, he bumped into Lan Zhan again.

“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan. Want me to give you a ride? I have a car!”

Lan Zhan opened his mouth to decline politely, but Wei Ying was already pulling on his arm.

“Look!” He pointed through the heavy rain, though Lan Zhan couldn’t see what he was pointing at. “My car is right over there. If we run, we can make it!”

And with that, he ran out into the rain, pulling Lan Zhan after him.

It was a mad scramble to reach the car relatively unscathed, and Lan Zhan was panicking about the contents of his bag all the while, but eventually they made it, only halfway drenched. They jumped into the car and slammed the doors shut as fast as they could, not caring about anything but getting out of the rain. For a moment, they just sat there in the front seats, breathing heavily as the rain kept pounding onto the windshield. Suddenly, Wei Ying laughed, shook himself, and inserted the key into the ignition.

“That was something, huh, Lan Zhan?” he asked between his laughter. “Look at us, two rats drowned in a storm.”

He shot a look at Lan Zhan.

“You still look as handsome as ever though. That’s so unfair. Do you ever suffer from the phenomenon known as human condition?”

Lan Zhan didn’t bother to reply to that, but privately, he thought that Wei Ying too looked as handsome as ever. The wet hair and drenched jeans added something to his look. It was... Lan Zhan quickly averted his eyes.

“Come on, Lan Zhan, tell me something fun,” Wei Ying continued, not cowed by Lan Zhan’s unresponsiveness. “Is there a time of the day where you don’t look perfectly put together? I’m asking out of scientific interest.”

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan said in warning.

Wei Ying laughed again, more quietly this time, put the car in reverse, and skilfully manoeuvred out of his parking spot.

“You can’t blame me for my curiosity, Lan Zhan. Can’t you help a fellow man out?”

“There is nothing for me to help out,” Lan Zhan replied. It was, after all, the truth. Wei Ying was already handsome enough. Beautiful enough. Attractive enough. Bewitching enough. There was nothing that Lan Zhan could do to improve that.

“Ouch, Lan Zhan, that stings!” Wei Ying said dramatically. “I know I am a scruffy, feeble man, but do you have to say it like that?”

That was certainly not what Lan Zhan had meant. He opened his mouth to reply, but Wei Ying shot him a teasing look.

“Careful, Lan Zhan,” he warned him with more laughter in his voice. “If you aren’t nice to me, I’ll leave you on the roadside, drowned rat or not. See if someone else will pick you up in this weather.”

Wei Ying would never do that, Lan Zhan knew, but he didn’t want to risk insulting Wei Ying by accident a second time. He kept his silence.

“Honestly, Lan Zhan, I had figured you’d own a car. Your family is certainly rich enough for it. “

“Unnecessary,” Lan Zhan replied. “Uncle is strict about protecting the environment.”

“Ah, I see, I’m an evil polluter then,” Wei Ying laughed, shifting gears. “Sorry. I swear the car is necessary, or I’d never make it to university.”

“It was not a judgement.”

“I know that, Lan Zhan, I know that.”

He quickly patted Lan Zhan’s knee, probably to express that he wasn’t angry, but the gentle touch robbed Lan Zhan of his breath. Wei Ying had touched him again. This was the fourth time tonight.

Not that he was counting.

Silence settled over the car, only interrupted by the unceasing sound of pounding rain, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence. Being with Wei Ying was never uncomfortable, unless one considered Lan Zhan’s inappropriate feelings.

One day, he would learn better than that.

One day.

From time to time, Lan Zhan gave the necessary directions, and before long, they arrived at their destination. The rain had grown slightly weaker by now, though definitely still not enough to risk going home by bicycle.

“Thank you, Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan said into the silence of the car as it idled at the side of the road. “I’ll see you at university.”

“Anytime, Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying folded his arms and leaned on the steering wheel as he smiled at Lan Zhan, a Cheshire grin as if he was letting him in on a secret. “I’m always happy to drive you around.”

Lan Zhan didn’t know what to say or where to look, so he simply bowed his head once before he opened the door and dashed to the entrance of his apartment building, his bag of papers clutched to his chest to shield it from the rain.

That had been the first time Wei Ying drove Lan Zhan home, and, Lan Zhan assumed, the last time, as well.

He was wrong about that.

 ---

It wasn’t a big difference to take public transportation to university the next morning, though Lan Zhan missed his customary bike ride. The public transport took longer and he’d never particularly liked being surrounded by so many people at once. Still, he arrived at the university in good time and went on with his day as he usually would.

He didn’t see Wei Ying that day and returned with his own bicycle in the evening. He banned all thoughts of Wei Ying and moved on. It was useless to dwell on it. It had been a favour, and Wei Ying was simply a good person for making sure Lan Zhan made it home safely in a rainstorm.

Three days later, when he was leaving the library, someone bumped into him again. This time, he didn’t startle, but simply turned around, and there he was: Wei Ying. He looked good in his usual black leather jacket and high ponytail, smiling up at Lan Zhan with that particular smile of his that seemed fine-tuned to make him weak.

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying greeted, repeating his words from last time. “Fancy meeting you here! Are you going home?”

“Hn,” Lan Zhan replied.

“Well, in that case, let me give you a ride again, okay? You were such a good customer last time.”

And just like last time, Wei Ying took his hand and led him over to the parking area, and Lan Zhan, smitten fool that he was, followed without complaint.

During the drive home, Wei Ying chattered on about his day, about his siblings, about the horrible dog he had seen the other day; about anything his brain would settle on for a moment, it seemed. Lan Zhan enjoyed the chatter, offering quiet, encouraging noises for him to continue from time to time. Before he knew it, they were already home.

“Thank you again, Wei Ying,” he said when Wei Ying stopped the car.

“Anytime, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying replied with a smile.

Lan Zhan’s bicycle had been left at university again, but that didn’t matter. Not when he had found a way to spend time with Wei Ying, just the two of them on their own.

 ---

The next day, Lan Zhan found a notice from the university tacked onto his bike to not leave it at university at night, or it would be towed.

We-ll, he thought to himself, this was a sign that he should stop accepting rides from Wei Ying.

And yet, when Wei Ying asked him the next time, he let himself be guided to the parked car by Wei Ying’s hand, and he sat next to Wei Ying during the ride thinking to himself that he had to go back and pick up his bike later on. It was a waste of time, and yet he found himself incapable of rejecting Wei Ying’s offer.

“Lan Zhan, my neighbour got pet rabbits,” Wei Ying excitedly told him. “They are so cute, I tell you. I could eat them, they are so cute.”

Lan Zhan frowned. “Not food.”

“I know, I know. Have you never seen anything so cute that you’ve wanted to eat it?”

You.

The thought came unbidden, and it startled him. He felt his ears burn at the thought, but luckily, Wei Ying kept his eyes on the road.

This time, he stifled a sigh of relief when they finally arrived at their destination. He felt like he was losing his mind. Wei Ying was too much.

“Thank you again, Wei Ying,” he said out loud.

“Anytime, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying replied with a smile.

Returning to university to pick up his bicycle was a waste of time, but he had to do it.

It was also so, so worth it.

 ---

Lan Zhan’s new habit of letting Wei Ying drive him home, returning to university, and driving home again continued for a while. It was fine, he told himself. He wasn’t hurting anyone with it. Except for himself. Keeping his desperate hope up that Wei Ying could ever see him as more than the person he sometimes drove home after seeing him at the library.

It was fine.

Like all good things, however, it had to end at some point. The end came unexpected.

Wei Ying had driven him home that day as usual, talking about his neighbour’s rabbits and how much they had grown since they had first arrived. As usual, Lan Zhan had thanked Wei Ying before he’d gotten out of the car, and Wei Ying had replied, “Anytime.”

As usual, he had returned to university to pick up his bike. Before he could pick it up at the parking area, however, he had run straight into Wei Ying and Jiang Cheng.

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying exclaimed with surprise. “Didn’t I just drop you off at home? Did you forget something? Do you want me to drive you back?”

“I– Wei Ying is still at university?” Lan Zhan asked, confused.

“Ahahaha yeah, funny story that, I forgot I still had a meeting to go to!”

Was it just him, or did Wei Ying seem strangely nervous?

“Forget, my ass, you’re just trying to avoid your responsibilities,” Jiang Cheng groused.

“Hey! I had important stuff to do!”

“Oh yeah? What’s the oh-so important stuff you had to do? Every Thursday, you say you have important stuff to do and end up being late, but you evade answering what that ‘important stuff’ is.”

Wei Ying’s eyes flickered over to Lan Zhan for a moment, before they settled on Jiang Cheng again, teasing whim while simultaneously trying to appease him without actually answering the question.

Something stuck in Lan Zhan’s mind. Thursday.

Thursday was generally the day that Wei Ying would catch him at the library and drive him home. Thursday was apparently also they day on which Wei Ying had meetings which he was late for regularly.

Wei Ying shot him another look, his cheeks tinged red. He looked… panicked.

Lan Wangji closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“I came to pick up my bicycle,” he said.

In a moment, Jiang Cheng was forgotten. Wei Ying’s attention was all on Lan Zhan.

“Lan Zhan! You commute by bicycle? I didn’t know!”

“You never asked.”

“Oooh, shit, you are right! Oh man, I’m so sorry! You were too nice to say anything! I feel so bad now!”

“I did not mind.”

Wei Ying stopped and looked at him with big eyes.

“I did not mind… Wei Ying driving me home.”

There was a punctuated moment of silence between them. Lan Zhan was quite sure Jiang Cheng was frowning somewhere in the background, but he could not attend to that now.

Slowly, understanding dawned in Wei Ying’s eyes.

He took one step ahead.

Then another one.

Then he latched onto Lan Zhan’s wrist.

Squeezed once, and smiled when Lan Zhan’s hand turned around to hold onto Wei Ying’s wrist, too. They were almost holding hands.

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying quietly said, looking at their hands and then up at Lan Zhan’s face. Looking at their hands again, holding onto each other. “Next time… let me pick you up in the morning.”

“Hn,” Lan Zhan agreed. His ears burned, but he wouldn’t let go now.

(“Not with me in the car!” Jiang Cheng shouted from somewhere behind them. But Lan Zhan couldn’t be bothered, because he was currently faced with something far more devastating. Wei Ying’s smile, while he had thought it impossible, had just managed to grow so impossibly bright he had to close his eyes. He couldn’t look, or he might go blind by the sheer force of it. Still, he looked. The damage was worth it, he thought. That smile was sure to burn itself onto his soul, and he could not find it inside himself to regret that the slightest bit.)

[allkinds-oftrash]

Ya girl is watching the latest HSM series ep and Imma live blog it hshshs and will add my reactions under the cut so it doesn't end up a long post. Anyways, let's goo:

AHHHH THE MORNING SHOW WITH GINA AND EJ WE LOVE TO SEE IT

They really said we're gonna let life imitate art with Nini and Olivia huh

Ricky was SUPPORTIVE??? Damnn I really thought we gonna get a classic Ricky tantrum....

But also wow sir that sounds salty and should definitely talk to someone abt how you're feeling...A therapist maybe 👀

I know we needed to contextualise how Ricky felt abt the song but I really wanted to see Nini's interview in full!!

Sebby you're so cute I do wanna see yall do DEH

Shjshshs not the rights not being available for another 5 years 😭😭

I dunno how they're in great shape and closer to the Menkies Gold after not having a single proper rehearsal, but go off Miss Jenn

Omg honestly Kourt's costumes are always amazing and on point Imma excited to see it

Kourt is such a simp we love to see it

Carlos is so pissy this episode we love to see it shshhs

Also love the way Seb calms him down and keeps him nice it's such a funny dynamic

"We had 20 people make our Belle dress over 50 hours" Okay North High shut the fuck up

I'm calling it now the reason North High knows so much is cos Howie is the leak and Kourt has been unwittingly telling him. The way her phone keeps going off as they discuss how North High knows everything is really good foreshadowing if my prediction is right

Also like her phone went off just as Carlos said "How did they know that?" THAT'S PEAK FORESHADOWING

If Howie ain't in North High, I dunno what Tim is doing

GSJAGSHAH KOURTNEY MAKING ABS FOR EJ I CANNOT

"I have abs" We know sweetie

"I PADDED THE THUSH FOR YOU" "AWW THANKS KOURT I NEEDED THAT" THIS INTERACTION IS EVERYTHING THAT WAS SO FUNNY!! I love that it is now canon that EJ has abs but no butt love that for him

Okay but like damn these costumes are great!! North High can fuck right off with its high end ones I just wanna see lowkey homemade costumes by students; I'd watch a Broadway show if I wanted to see professional costumes okay

Damn Carlos has killer eyesight clocking in that mask in the trunk

GINA BBY DON'T SAY THAT AND HAHSGSH NINI NUDGING HER WAS SO FUNNY

Nini's little look over at Gina was like "Omg you guys my girlfriend is so cute and dumb" GINI STANS HOW WE FEELING?

Miss Jenn don't be that naive, your boyfriend probably put them up to it

That Insta page is prophetic with their timing tbh; all the info is a leak obviously looking at your Howie but like the timing of it all. Those kiddos don't know that they are discussing the stolen mask at this exact moment (Kourt has put down her phone after Carlos snapped at her so Howie doesn't know they are talking abt it rn)

"We don't dance with the enemy" *cuts to her dancing with Zackey later*

SEBBY WEARING THE TEACUP COSTUME OMG HE'S GOING MAKE SUCH A CUTE CHIP (yes I am still mad Seb/Joe was robbed but Imma fangirl over the costume anyway)

Wtf why does North High look so expensive - they are literally in the same district as East High right??? How did they get this much funding

North High is a very artsy and rich for a public school; they should have had Nini go here instead of YAC tbh (like this campus feels like what YAC should have been) NOW THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN AN INTERESTING STORYLINE

Seblos' dynamic IS ON POINT THIS EP I really love my bois so much and their back and forth is hilarious

Shhshs DIANE who loves volleyball and North High okay I totally believe it

WHY ARE RED AND ASHLYN SO KINKY EVERY DAMN EPISODE TIM THESE ARE UNDERAGED CHARACTERS STOP IT

Shshsh we love Gina knowing herself and practicing self control by volunteering to be the lookout

Omg yall listen to Carlos and stfu they are so lucky no one saw or heard them yelling Wildcats

Oh no no no no no Miss Jenn you gonna get sucked in; this is gonna be so messy

Omg I saw someone post about this scene before I watched the ep YALL ARE RIGHT THAT BOI HITTING ON GINA IS SO FINE Babes go for that one, not EJ

NOT THEM FAKE DATING UGH E W TIM STOP MAKING ROMANTIC PORTWELL A T H I N G I honestly do not understand how some of yall can ship it romantically knowing Sofia is a whole underaged babey and Matty is a whole ass grown man - like I get the appeal of the Wonderstudies getting together and they do have chemistry but the irl age gap is creepy and outweighs the appeal of shipping them romantically

As I always say; Portwell/Wonderstudies should be a BROTP not an OTP

Ugh Brotp Portwell would have clocked Lily right away; romantic Portwell making googly eyes at each other isn't helping anyone

Living for Nini getting the recognition she deserves - I really like her solo arc this season she's so much more interesting without Ricky tbh

Aww Kourt you simp I love her and I'm so happy she's happy I wanna be wrong about Howie being a North High kid

Where is the mask??

OHMYGOD THESE KIDS COMING IN LIKE A HORROR MOVIE

Lily really wishes she was Jesse St. James huh; you could never Lily so stop

Andrew Barth Feldman and his cute little French accent I love him so much

Hnng Miss Jenn gonna get manipulated by this hoe. Omg wowow Zackey really is a hoe, making out with another girl before the show THE AUDACITY OF HIM SAYING MISS JENN WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH I WILL THROW HANDS WITH THIS MOFO

Wait the kids didn't steal it BUT WHAT IF ZACKEY DID

Ssjsgfajhdfg I CANNOT WITH ANDREW'S ACCENT but I can't tell if its really bad or really good but I'm also confused why didn't they just cast a French person as Antonie shshhs Antoine is adorableee and a little shit the best type of character

Lily is so annoying b y e sis bye and Olivia Keegan is talented I just wish they didn't make her character such a cartoony villain type

"How about if we bop to the top" SEBBY I LOVE YOU AND NEVER STOP BEING SO CUTE I SWEAR and Awww Carlos called him Honey I am s o f t

Hnng why do these fools are really gonna give into North High calling them chickens

OHHH NO SHE DIDN'T JUST SAY THAT ABOUT ASHLYN FUCK A DANCE OFF I AM ABOUT TO THROW HANDS WITH A 16 YEAR OLD

"She told us not to dance with the enemy. She's better than this" No Sebby, she's not *cuts to her dancing with Zackey* AND OMG THE WAY I SAW THIS EDIT COMING BEFORE IT CAME

Ooooh I like this song wayyy more whatever the mess The Mob Song became (when I first heard it drop on Spotify yesterday) Around You is such a great song musically and lyrically very relevant to these two and gosh I love their voices together

They have so much chemistry damn, go home Mike (well he technically has oop) and Mr. Mazzara

YES YOU DO MISS JENN YOU ALWAYS HAD IT

Oh god this is the scene from the trailer; she's gonna make a move on Ricky isn't she?? Leave him alone Lily he doesn't need a 3rd girl to be confused about he needs a therapist

Lily shut the fuck up with quasi; STOP TRYING TO MAKE QUASI HAPPEN

"I love Nini's song" Sure, Jan.

...Okay yes you should have called him out but don't bait him LIKE THAT oop there's the scene from the trailer

Ohmygod is Andrew Barth Feldman gonna hit on Ashlyn

Okay this is so cute but also I am VERY annoyed with the way this show handles its characters like they aren't relevant or important unless they get into a relationship or a love triangle?? That's such a shitty way to give out screentime and arcs to characters. Is it not enough to develop the characters on their own and strengthen their friendship???

HUH TIM why you so obsessed with compulsory heterosexuality??(well also homosexuality for Seblos but they are the only ones I'm not annoyed with their relationship cos its a hella big step for Disney to have a gay couple and their relationship isn't in our faces or overshadows the plot and its just spinkles of cuteness every time they interact - they are honestly who Rini wishes they were; besties in love. They are a couple that Tim should be taking notes from; leave the relationship drama in the background, focus on the theatre and friendship aspect of everything)

My mini rant aside; this is a very adorable interaction between Ashlyn and Antoine.

"TOM HOLLAND ON STILTS" GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE WITH THAT COMPARISON I AM SCREAMING ANTOINE THAT'S SO FUNNY

This is so funny he keeps picking out the hottest guys of the group; as if he himself isn't the French version of Big Red they look super alike ngl shshsh

WHY YOU RUIN IT WITH THAT ANTOINE I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU

Drama between Antoine and Red is already spicing up shshsh I cannot

Why are you so dramatic with the shuffle Lily gtfo of here...also this doesn't make sense?? She wasn't even on a BATB playlist; what if a non BATB song came on ahahah

Good to know they aren't big fans of The Mob Song like I am Awww EJ you cutie, okay I will appreciate the OG Mob Song just for you

OH WAIT HE PROLLY LIKES IT COS ITS A GASTON LED SONG TIM GIMME THE EJ SOLO I DESERVE IN THIS NUMBER

I'm being robbed of Gaston for the last 7 eps I at least deserve an EJ solo for compensation

The way the set looks straight out of Broadway but also like omg the blue lighting and fancy stage gave me intense flashbacks to that Glee episode where Vocal Adrenaline sang Bohemian Rhapsody

RICKY STOP BEING SALTY AND ACTUALLY COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND LIKE A NORMAL PERSON

OMG THE SUBTITLES SAID ITS HOWIE SINGING AS THE BEAST I FUCKING CALLED IT

Howie you hoe you gonna break my girl Kourtney's heart

Yeah...still not a fan of Antoine's Dance Remix

Yall know Gina would kill the dance number if she wasn't wearing that fit

Okay but it's Gaston led song WHY DOES EVERYONE BUT EJ HAVE A SOLO IN THIS SONG??

First the Beasts led it (Howie sounded better than Ricky ngl), then the Lumieres (their voices worked hella well together; I always forget what a talented singer Frankie is THEY NEED TO GIVE HIM A SOLO SONG) and now the Belles are going at it (Ashlyn's voice is superior)

BIG RED BEING JEALOUS AND SALTY IS SO FUNNY ITS LIKE A PUPPY BEING ANGRY I CRI

...Did anyone really win, Lily??? STFU

CARLOS IS RIGHT AND HE SHOULD SAY IT

Oooh I did see someone talk about this when the Rose Song dropped last week, apparently its illegal to add songs to a musical you're doing for a school play; I really thought the show would brush past that irl rule but I guess they are playing into it

THE WAY EVERYONE TURNED TO EJ FOR THE SPORTS METAPHOR I AM D Y I N G AND HIS FACE WAS GOLDEN! ITS LIKE THAT LISA SIMPSON MEME SHHSHSH

Okay Nini is being a little pissy about leaving her song out of the show and its a little selfish to wanna keep it at the risk of being disqualified but I also understand why she's hurt

Everyone is dog piling on her right now being against her idea and it feels like they are being against her song and her herself instead of them not wanting to be disqualified. Also like she poured her heart and soul into the song after Miss Jenn lowkey rushed her to write it. So I can see why this feels like a rejection of her and her song and why she's so hurt rather than her seeing the big picture right now

It doesn't help that Ricky said the final blow causing her to walk off

Okay maybe Zackey gets some rights for being chill and wanting the kids to be peers

THIS MOTHERFUCKER I KNEW HE WAS SHADY Also the way I gasped even though I predicted he stole the mask halfway through this ep shshsh

Stab him Miss Jenn STAB HIM

Bitch why you so threatened by East High if yall have such a Broadway-esque show planned??? They honestly should have stuck to the Little Mermaid; I really wanted to see the aquarium

"It's just a song Ricky" "A song can mean everything" Do you get deja vu? Anyone else getting intense flashbacks to Jan when DL first dropped and all the drama happened 👀

YES PLEASE STAY CO ANCHORS Gosh I love them so much esp once you take the romantic connotations out of their interactions

ROUGE GRAND I'M SCREAMING

I love this long take of checking in with everyone's relationship status (still hate how romantically focused this show has become but still a cool shot)

I K N E W IT I WAS RIGHT

Okay but like looking at Kourtney's face I have never wanted to be wrong so bad GOD I HATE IT HERE I really think he likes her and I hope they work it out

Nini setting up her own music acc feels like when Olivia rebranded her whole IG to be just for her music stuff - love this for both of them

AHHHHH SHE'S NINA NOW YALL

I know everyone loves her as Nini but like I have always loved the name Nina and it really suits her to be honest also shows how she's growing up now and kind of leans into the lyric "I won't be confined to your point of view" from The Rose Song because Nini is the nickname Ricky gave her so it shows that she's outgrowing him too and I love that for her!

Overall thoughts; they really crammed all the North High drama into one ep huh. Personally would have liked it if all of this was spread out throughout the last few episodes; like different hijinks for every episode. I'm just a big fan of properly setting up the overall arc over the season instead of patching it together closer to the climax/end of the show. Cos now it lowkey feels like two different seasons - 2A felt like The Rini/Rina Show esp with YAC storyline and whatever was going on with Rina and now 2B is finally feeling like what this season should have been all this time

[itsbenedict]

Two-Faced Jewel: Session 10

Connections

A half-elf conwoman (and the moth tasked with keeping her out of trouble) travel the Jewel in search of, uh, whatever a fashionable accessory is pointing them at. [Campaign log]

Last time, the party arrived in Cauterdale, the heavily-fortified port city at war with nature. They arrived in search of members of the Deathseekers' Guild- the organization of professional adventurers and monster-hunters that likes to be very up-front about its mortality rate- to handle a dragon problem that they're personally a little underleveled for.

While Looseleaf had a fateful encounter with the Plot at the Temple of Andra, Saelhen and Oyobi were headed to the barracks of the city guard, to speak to "Mags", the guard on duty when the local Deathseekers were last seen leaving town. And there...

You remember Medd Cutter, right? Highly-memorable Medd Cutter, the NPC who got oneshot by a T-rex and whose life the party saved? Well, to spite Rex... whatever his last name was, the pro-patria-mori asshole guard captain guy, Saelhen has decided that she's going to start spreading the word of Medd's heroism.

Oyobi, unfortunately, is bent on spreading the word of her own extremely ill-advised heroism, and so the two are having some sort of hype-off as they make their way into the barracks and effortlessly charm their way past the guards to where their quarry is posted.

These two are manning some sort of huge brass contraption, bristling with lenses and dials. One of them is a yuan-ti pureblood- which there are an unusual number of in the city guard, compared to the general population. Weird. Saelhen politely introduces herself, and Verity Truescale refers them to Magnaranth aka Mags, the loxodon who last saw the Deathseekers leave town.

Mags doesn't have a huge amount to tell them- the Deathseekers, evidently, were going hunting, out east somewhere. They brought a lot of torches, so apparently they were headed somewhere dark? Underground, maybe? They were pretty cagey about what exactly they were going out to do. Still, Mags can provide the names and addresses of the Deathseekers in question.

...And Verity, checking the instruments, notices that something is wrong with the tides- apparently something large is disturbing the waters, but they can't quite pinpoint what- it's not any of the usual suspects, which include things by the name of "Darkie" or "Unnessie". Ominous!

After that, the party meets up at the local Temple of Iska, their designated rendezvous point. They catch each other up on their gains, and decide... well, the Deathseekers are going to be back within a couple days, so they'll just wait for them in town and get going with them, to make sure things in Barley and Wheat go smoothly.

Of course, the question then is "where do we stay?"

Options aren't great- Cauterdale is crowded, and the B&B market is incredibly shitty. The best lodging is on Eman's Knee, the island just off the coast of Cauterdale, but getting the ferry over there is expensive, and resort lodging on a tropical island is also expensive.

That- you can't just- I mean, just because- I'm- I'm allowed to be predictable, okay???

(And anyway, it's Corolos where I ended up doing a murder mystery.)

So, Looseleaf gets a 24 investigating the town's B&B market, and finds a pretty good place! It's a weapons shop Saelhen noticed earlier, which is renting out rooms. The place has a huge fence topped with spikes, so they probably won't even get robbed!

Aria of War, as it happens, is run by an elderly yet ripped-as-hell tabaxi man, who Saelhen... vaguely recognizes.

Benedict I. (GM): So, this shopkeeper's coat is familiar to you. It's definitely not the same person, but you once knew a girl in Timber Towers named Toothbrush, with almost the exact same coat. Could be a relative! Saelhen du Fishercrown: Yeah, tabaxi have a lot of coat variation; it's not a safe bet that they're related, but Saelhen is willing to go out on a limb with him. "Good evening, sir, and I'm sorry to bother you, but I felt I had to ask..." Fish Especially: "No discounts." Saelhen du Fishercrown: "Do you have any relation to a..." Was Toothbrush her real name? Benedict I. (GM): As far as you know! Tabaxi have weird names. Saelhen du Fishercrown: "Toothbrush?" Fish Especially: He looks surprised. "Hold on, you know Toothbrush?" Saelhen du Fishercrown: "...I knew I knew that speckle pattern." Saelhen smiles widely and without guile. "I met her in Timber Towers a while back. She played the violin." "More specifically, she couldn't play the violin, but she always failed very effectively." Fish Especially: "I'll be! Her theatre troupe doing all right for itself, then?" "Even with the noise of that awful thing?" "I never know what to think when she writes those letters..." Saelhen du Fishercrown: "Last I saw of them, they were doing pretty well for themselves! To be honest, I did a stint with them for a bit, they wanted advice on a traditional elven piece..." Saelhen leans in on her elbows. "Oh, she mangled it, but she compensated with charm and that one face. Her confident face, you know the one, where you think she's so confident that maybe it's supposed to sound like that?" Fish Especially: He laughs. "You do know my girl!" "She hasn't written in- I think a year, now. How's she been?" Saelhen du Fishercrown: "Oh, it's been so long, I'm barely an authority by now -- but I remember she was talking about taking classes in -- what was it..." "...oh, where are my manners -- I'm Saelhen du Fishercrown, it's a pleasure." Saelhen reaches out for a very unelven handshake.

That she says this is notable for one big reason: this is the first time she's used her real name, and not "Lady Noeru de la Surplus". Nobody else in the party has heard this before!

It's also notable because according to Fish Especially, Toothbrush thought Saelhen was dead- and he's going to let her know otherwise.

Anyway, the deal for rooms goes through without incident, and the night also goes without incident! As is entirely normal, they hear Vayen in the halls making some sort of attempt to sneak into Saelhen's room in the night... and this time, sighing and going "never mind" without even attempting to pick the lock for some reason.

In the morning... Looseleaf grills Saelhen on the name thing, and she confesses the truth of the matter to the whole party- who take it fairly well.

After team bonding, the party heads to the Temple of Andra to check in and see if the Deathseekers have showed up. And by the stablehand's account, they have- or at least, a bunch of weird old people showed up to meet with Gabbro.

Gabbro seems surprised to see them- he was under the impression that they'd leave the matter to them. The further involvement of the party should be unnecessary, right...?

Looseleaf: "Oh, yeah, I was going to let you know we were staying in town and ask for you to let us know when the deathseekers showed up, but, uh, judging by that meeting we interrupted, they're already back and right here." Gabbro: "That is correct," he says, as the stablehand leaves. "I was just briefing them on the mission, you see." "The situation is well in hand, so you needn't concern yourselves with it any longer." "That pesky dragon shouldn't be an issue." Looseleaf: "W-well, uh. I was, uh, we were, kiiiinda hoping to travel with you back to the dragon's tower." "I mean, it's our quest, so, it'd be nice to, for us to see it happening so we can be sure of it, y'know?" Gabbro: He looks somewhat taken aback. "That... seems... risky, don't you think?" "To bring along... certain... people?" Looseleaf: "We're going to stay very very far away from the action! We're not that dumb!" Saelhen du Fishercrown: "...I assure you that we have no intention of fighting the dragon ourselves, sir." Gabbro: "Ah, yes, of course not..." "However..." He gives Looseleaf a pleading look. Saelhen du Fishercrown: "And there are... certain persons in the nearby town, whose safety I would like to check up on. Personally." Looseleaf: He doesn't seem to want people witnessing the fight? It could be explicable through just, him being worried we'll get hurt. But it could also be, 'their deathseekers fight with methods that Orluthe in particular should not be allowed to witness.' Gabbro: "Ah, well, if that's the case... if you don't mean to get involved with the Deathseekers and their work..." Looseleaf: "We're not going to- we don't want any claim to the loot in the tower either, if that's a problem! Everything in the tower is you and your group's prerogative to deal with however we like."

Gabbro seems... put slightly more at ease, and decides to introduce the group to the ones who'll be their traveling companions shortly- the Cauterdale Deathseekers.

In order:

Doon Softbreeze, half-halfling rogue and all-around Grunkle Stan-type, friendliest with the party.

Kevin Softbreeze, Doon's soft-spoken herbalist husband and that's it, probably, just a gardener.

John Human, an extremely decrepit extremely human man who seems to make weird buzzing sounds when he speaks, as if with mouthparts instead of human lips.

Ryuusatsu Takuma, totally silent elf (not present at this meeting with Gabbro) who probably just doesn't like talking, is all.

Lady Fidelia Greatholder, heavily-armored and heavily-everything human noblewoman (also not present at this meeting), who- well, she shows up next session.

Gabbro makes a point of making clear to those present that Orluthe, who they'll be traveling with, is a cleric of Diamode- apparently they need to know this for some reason!

Doon's pretty friendly with the party, and offers to take on their job pro-bono- on the basis that, c'mon, if they could actually afford them, they wouldn't be knocking on their door for help. So it looks like they've enlisted some highly-capable dragonslayers with no ulterior motives! Fantastic.

Next time: The road back to Barley, and the tying up of a few loose ends in town. Saelhen needs to get her kimono back!

[kd-holloman]

Good evening, everyone! I bring you mur. MURDER. That’s right, have a very R-rated short story for you all. I’ve never written anything quite like this before, but I’ve been listening to a lot of true crime podcasts and in the spirit of spooky-season I wanted to write something about the scariest creatures of all: humans. I will tag everyone that seemed interested in my original post about it at the end, but PLEASE read the warnings before you decide to read further. 

Content Warning(s): Language, Violence, Blood, and graphic depictions of murder. 

Stupid fucking April. 

The day I married her, I’d  promised to love her through richer and poorer, sickness and health. I vowed  to provide for her, to keep a roof over her head, and food in her belly. And how did she repay me? By not ironing my fucking pants. 

Her life wasn’t that hard. She had to take care of the house and make sure the kids didn’t kill themselves. 

And she couldn’t even be bothered to iron my fucking slacks.

“Where are we going?” Jaime, or Jenny, or Jessica asked. She reeked of stale cigarettes and dollar store vanilla body spray. “We’re, like, out of town. I thought you said we were going to get fucked up.” 

I clenched my fingers around the steering wheel so hard they ached. Jenna didn’t need more meth. She needed to stop asking questions. “Do you want this shit or not?” 

“Well, yeah.” 

“Then, shut the hell up and stop asking questions.” 

She scoffed and sat up a little straighter in her seat. Her bony arms held over her front to ward her off from the chill of the air conditioner. She watched as we passed below a giant sycamore, a gangly branch draped with Spanish moss stretched over the rutted goat-path that led to the cabin. “It’s kind of creepy out here. You’re not going to murder me out here, right?” 

I smiled in spite of myself. “Yeah, it’s pretty creepy.” 

I pulled the truck up in front of the leaning cabin. It had been in my family for generations. My grandfather had brought my father here when he was a boy. My dad used to tell me stories about how he and his old man would spend weekends during the summer catching catfish in the swamp and hunting squirrels that jumped from the boughs of the red maple trees. 

By the time I was old enough to go to camp, the cabin’s roof had caved in and my dad hadn’t had the money to fix it. The inclimate weather had rotted the floorboards, and a family of raccoons had made themselves at home in the walls. 

As nice as it would be to restore the shack to its former glory, I didn’t go to camp for the cabin, anyway. All of my business was done in the barn. 

“What the fuck. Do you live here?” Jasmine asked as she squinted through the darkness. 

I sighed. “Didn’t I tell you to shut the hell up?” 

“Yeah. Sorry.” 

I turned on my flashlight to see the overgrown path that led back to the crooked barn. Getting struck by a cottonmouth would put a damper on my evening plans. 

I pushed the barn door open, gestured for Jeanine to enter, and followed behind her. 

There was no electric in the rickety old barn, but the propane lanterns I had did the job just fine. I needed just enough light to see. I could feel the pulse of anticipation thrumming through my body. I had to fight to keep my hands steady as I hung the last lantern on its rusty nail. 

Jill stood in the middle of the barn, shivering in her stained tank top. “It’s cold.”

I couldn’t feel a chill in the air, but that didn’t mean much. I was starting to sweat beneath my thrift store threads. “I’ll light the woodstove.” 

I lit the woodstove and let Jenny try to warm herself by it in favor of inspecting my workbench. It was just as I’d left it about a year ago. All of my tools were in their assigned spots. I hovered my fingers above them: pliers, saw, bolt cutters. 

I picked up the hunting knife and ran my thumb along the blade. It had been dulled by use and time. The steel winked in the orange lamplight. It reminded me of the time my dad had given me my first pocket knife.

“Remember, son,” he said seriously as he held the folded pocket knife between his thumb and forefinger, “a dull knife is more dangerous than a sharp one.” 

At the time, I hadn’t cared. I had only wanted to take my knife and whittle sticks down to sharp points. Now that I was older, I understood what he meant. A sharp knife left clean cuts. It did less damage to the tissues around the blade. Wounds caused by sharp knives were easier to heal than dull ones.

“Do you have the stuff or what?” Jeannine asked. 

Again with the fucking questions. I held the knife down by my side. “Come here.”

She hesitated at the harshness of my tone. 

It was too late for sensibility. She should have thought about before she’d gotten into my truck. 

“Get your ass over here!”  

One step. 

April should have iron my fucking slacks. 

Two steps. 

If my slacks hadn’t been wrinkled Leslie Wilford wouldn’t have looked at me like that. Like I was a rat that had scurried from the gutter. 

Three. 

This dumb bitch, Julia, Josephine, Jane--what ever the fuck her name was--should have never gotten in my truck.

Four. 

And I couldn’t stand the stink of her cloying vanilla perfume. 

Fury had blood roaring in my ears. The hunting knife shook in my hand. When Juliet was close enough to reach, I grabbed her with my left arm to hold her steady and jammed the blade into her gut, below her sternum. It took a little more force than I anticipated. The first cut always took me by surprise. 

Her expression went from cautious to stunned. Her eyes widened, her bony fingers wrapped around my wrist. She tried to pry my hand free, but years of sacrificing her meals for drugs had left her weak. 

I pushed harder. The blade scraped against bone. 

A sound pulled its way from her lungs, in a nearly-sensual moan.

I yanked the knife free.

Blood bloomed on the front of her tank top, dark and spreading. It looked like one of those tests psychiatrist gave their crazy patients. What does this look like to you?

It looked like release.

I stabbed her again. 

Her body lurched with the force of the impact. She staggered back a step or two. 

 I yanked it free and thrust the knife back into her body. The handle was slick with blood, warm and wet against my palm. 

Her knees gave out and I let her fall to the floor. 

I knelt down over her, knees pinning her arms to the cool dirt below. 

She opened her mouth, a trickle of crimson ran from the corner, staining her pale skin like ink. She tried to speak, couldn’t, closed her mouth, and then opened it again. She looked like a fish that had just been yanked from the stream. “Please,” she gurgled, “stop.” It was such a feeble sound. So frail. So tragic. 

I reached up and pressed my thumb to her cheek. It left a bloody smear behind. I leaned down so I knew she could hear me when I murmured, “No.” 

As I felt her blood sticking to my hands, a primal force overcame me. It had tasted blood and wouldn’t be sated until the life had fully drained from her eyes. 

I stabbed her again, and again, and again. Blood splattered my face, hot and wet. I could taste the copper of it on my lips. 

Well after she took her last breath, I pulled the knife free for a final time and dropped my aching arms to my sides. While I caught my breath I took a few moments to bask in my adrenaline-laced euphoric high.

Humans were bound to this lifeless rock, doomed to work nine-to-five jobs they hated until their very essence ran dry. Killing was the only thing that made me feel alive.

                                                 ###

Dawn was just breaking by the time I pulled into my driveway, exhausted and sated. I got out of the truck, balancing a box of muffins and coffee while I tried to work up the energy to pretend like I hadn’t spent all night dismembering and spreading a corpse through the swamp.

“Good morning, Rob!” 

“Good morning, Luanne,” I greeted. 

“What are you out doing so early this morning?” She asked, her schnauzer sniffing around her plushy pink slippers. 

Luanne was a sweet lady, but I really fucking hated it when people asked me too many questions. “Oh, I just wanted to get April and the kiddos something special for breakfast.” I held up the box of muffins as if it explained everything. “Would you like a muffin?” 

“Aw, you’re so sweet.” She waved me a way with an arthritic hand, “I can’t. I don’t want to mess up my sugar too much. Have a nice day, Rob!”

“Take care.” I smiled until I watched her take her dog inside. Then, I went up the steps to my own front door. I mentally prepared myself to greet my family. I was going to have to be my best self for them and for the students at Van Buren Academy. 

After all, their vice principal needed to look his best. 

And I would. 

As long as April remembered to iron my fucking slacks. 

Tag List: @lordkingsmith, @howdy-writes, @lanawritesalittle, @pertinax--loculos, @kirsten-is-writing, @heytherelindsay, @lukawriting, @alicewestwater, @swimmingbirdrunningrock, @baconkat02, @bottichelli

[thescienceofapologetics]

Evidence for the Resurrection

It’s Easter time once again! A Sunday that marks the single most pivotal point of Christianity. If you want to prove Christianity is a hoax, all you must do is illustrate how the resurrection was a facade. It is absolutely essential to our salvation that Christ conquered death, for if Jesus Christ did not rise from the dead our hope is lost. 1 Corinthians 15:14 likewise states, “And if Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is in vain and your faith is in vain.” Without the resurrection our belief is baseless, futile, unfounded, and foolish. So why is it we believe such an outlandish claim could actually happen, superseding the natural laws of earth? Here’s a few reasons...

The Bible is the most historically accurate ancient text in the world — When discussing the validity of history, it’s only reasonable to reference your source that has proven most reliable. The Bible is that source. No other record of ancient history has come CLOSE to matching the reliability of the Bible. If we say the Bible is untrustworthy, we must discard every other historical record as well because the Bible vastly surpasses every test of authenticity as no other book does. More on that here and here.

Yes, Jesus really died - Many people start off with the dispute that maybe Jesus wasn’t really dead. However, that neglects both the historical and circumstancial context. The Romans were masters at execution. They knew how to draw out suffering to the finest line between death and life, make it last for days on end. This was their art form. These men were proficient and practiced. Jesus was tortured, whipped with a scourge that often exposed bone and vital organs, tearing flesh from a body. Many people didn’t survive that alone. He was forced to carry a cross that could have weight up to 300lbs, and he crumpled under the weight, unable to bear it. Nails were driven through his wrist and through both his feet. Make note he would be unable to walk from the pain in his feet, his hands would be rendered useless. The way you hang on a cross causes death by asphyxiation, to breathe you had to push your self up with means grating your torn back against the wood and putting more pressure on the holes ripping your limbs. After Jesus died they speared his side to make certain he was dead and fluid came pouring out. The Romans checked thoroughly to make sure he was dead because they were shocked he died so quickly. He was bloated, swollen, and gored by death on a cross. Even if for arguments sake, Jesus was not yet dead, being in a tomb for three days would indisputably see to that. If blood loss didn’t kill him, infection certainly would. Additionally, Luke, one of eyewitnesses who recorded the events, was a doctor so his perspective is a notably authoritative one. (Luke 23-24).

The tomb was empty - There is no possible way Jesus, weakened to the point where the Roman masters of execution called his death, unable to use his hands or feet due to the spikes pounded into them, was able to roll away a MASSIVE boulder and over power two trained and able-bodied Roman soldiers. The idea that Jesus didn’t fully die on the cross and escaped the tomb is absurd. Furthermore, the guards stationed to prevent anyone from robbing the tomb and the Roman seal on the two-ton rock ensured that anyone who dared to even attempt to move it faced the death penalty themselves. If the guards themselves fell asleep they faced the same fate. There was a LOT at stake if Jesus’ body was taken, the Romans were taking no chances. Every other argument for the absence of Jesus’ body can quickly be dismantled by historical context and the circumstances by which these things took place.

It was prophesied - Isaiah talks about the particular circumstances of Jesus death, such as no bones would be broken, an unusual anomaly when it came to crucifixion. Jesus himself also foretells that he will rise within three days. Even smaller details like casting lots for His garments were spoken of hundreds of years before Jesus was born. Other prophesies like this show that Jesus’ death was no accident, God knew what He was doing. (Isaiah 52:13-53:12; John 18-20)

Eyewitness accounts - Jesus appeared to over 500 people after His resurrection, many of whom were alive at the time of the gospels being written and therefore could confirm or dispute their accuracy (1 Corinthians 15:6) Among those include the disciples, Mary Magdalene, and Paul the former murderer of Christians. The Bible records accounts of skeptism and unbelief, but they saw the scars on his hands, touched his solid flesh before them, heard his familiar voice, and they believed because of it. Paul became that which he initially DESPISED because of his encounter with Jesus Christ, that alone is a mind-blowing testimony. The man who hunted and killed Christians became a Christian who was willing to be tortured and killed because he so strongly believed in the saving death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

The apostles went from hiding in extreme fear to preaching the gospel in the face of deadly persecution - When Jesus died the apostles went into hiding. They were TERRIFIED that the Romans, the other Jews, would come after them next. Yet, after Jesus appears, they’re fearlessly preaching the gospel out in open crowds of THOUSANDS. It’s a dramatic switch of perspective. To go from quivering fear to such emboldened confidence, surely seeing Jesus standing risen before you would give you that kind of intrepidation. There is little else to explain how these men were suddenly ready to risk everything after being afraid to admit they ever knew Jesus just days before.

Apostles willing to die for Jesus - Now some people say the apostles stole the body of Jesus to convince people to turn to Christianity. The Bible says that lie was started by the Romans in order to discredit the apostles. However, almost all of the apolstles died for preaching the gospel, and all of them were severely persecuted. Why would they exchange their lives, their health, their reputation, their livelihoods, their comfort for something they knew was a lie? It simply makes no sense. The only logical conclusion is that they believed Jesus was the resurrected Christ.

Appearing to a woman first was a dumb move - The testimony of a woman would not be as respected as than of a man in those times. If Jesus’ resurrection was a ruse, the logical thing to do would be to claim he was seen by a male dignitary of noble standing, not a woman who had been previously possessed by demons - a social blemish (Luke 8:2). “Unflattering” facts like this, the cowardis of the apolstles, their initial skeptism, not recognizing Jesus right away, etc. lend to the credit of the account because it demonstrates an accurate retelling, not a fabrication that was crafted to deceptively sway the masses into false belief.

Vision, hallucination unlikely due to number of witnesses and circumstances - Jesus didn’t appear to two people and then go back to Heaven. He appeared to over 500 in all sorts of different locations. People who weren’t looking for him, people who didn’t believe it was Him until they had proof. Proof so certain that they were no longer afraid, they were filled with unextinguishable hope. We must also realize the historical context of the time in which it took place. It’s much easier to fabricate this kind of illusion today with the technology and way by which we pass on information. The time period in which the resurrection took place adds merit that should not be ignored. News was circulated in a manner that was unique to our present day process.

Non-Christian historians record the resurrection - Josephus, a renowned secular historian at the time of Jesus’ death, writes, “On the third day He appeared... restored to life.” It should be noted there are many who debate the reliability of Josephus’ words regarding the resurrection, however, many historians find this evidence to support the Bible’s claims.

The persecution of the early church - Under Nero’s reign the early church suffered some of the most violent persecution, not to mention the Jewish leaders who also sought to kill the Christians. The steadfast resolve of a Church who was in its infant stage is astounding. The only explanation is that they all genuinely believed in the resurrection. They had nothing to gain and everything to lose by preaching the gospel, yet they did so freely despite the cost. If Christianity was based on a lie, it should have been easy to crush it as it was beginning. The fact that the force of the entire Roman Empire wasn’t enough to sway their devotion is incredible. The whole of the known world tried to annihilate Christianity in the cradle but couldn’t.

It is the accumulation of evidence that begs cause for belief - It is not for one singular reason that we believe Jesus rose from the dead, but rather the combined evidence that demands an explanation that only the Bible provides. The proven accuracy of the Bible, the eyewitnesses details; the historical records of Jesus walking, eating, alive; the unexplainable absence in the tomb despite all efforts to seal it; the prophesies fulfilled; the change in people’s lives, the martyrs, the flourishing of the church in the face of persecution. It all points back to Jesus rising from the dead as the only reasonable explanation. The Bible consistently presents answers to questions the world has no answer for.

More comprehensive analysis and sources

Within these sources you’ll find more Biblical references, breaking down arguments and evidence, and quotes from some of the world’s finest minds and historians.

The Resurrection of Christ: The Best Proved Fact in History

Resurrection: No Doubt About It

Biblical and Extra-Biblical Evidences

Is the Resurrection True?

Atheist’s Look at the Resurrection

Still got questions/comments? Shoot me an ask! I don’t usually reply to comments on long posts, but I’d certainly love to talk!

[amillioninprizes]

An entirely too long post on how to fix Veronica Mars

So, anyone who has followed this blog for any length of time knows: 1) What a massive Veronica Mars fan I was and 2) how distraught I’ve been over the most recent season that debuted on Hulu in July. I’ve been pretty angry about it since it dropped, but the first month after I was pretty occupied with real life stuff. Now that I’m more settled, I’ve found myself getting sadder and angrier over time with just how terrible S4 was and what an obvious fuck you to longtime fans it was. It feels dumb to be so upset over a tv show, but this show got me through a lot over the past 8 years, and I feel like it’s been taken away from me.

 It’s anyone’s guess as to whether there will be a new season. Ideally it would end here with maybe an alternate ending filmed to avoid alienating fans further. On the one hand, the botched release, overwhelmingly negative response, and silence from the creators after initial interviews don’t look good for renewal chances. On the other hand, Hulu doesn’t have a lot of streaming hits, it probably did relatively decent numbers, and there are rumors floating around that its pickup chances look good. On a personal level, I hate the idea that this is where the legacy of Veronica Mars ends, while at the same time being extremely wary of what the creators have planned. I think a big part of the disappointment with S4 was that the movie and books set up what could have been some really interesting storylines and situations, all of which RT and co. squandered for cheap drama and to apparently turn the show into an entirely new vehicle; additionally I had hope that S4 would be a chance to rectify some problems the show has long had, but again, S4 exacerbated them. At this point I don’t expect anyone higher up in the creative process or at Hulu to give a fuck about the fans or making the show better as long as they hit streaming targets, but here are some suggestions:

Fire Rob Thomas

 While he created the show, it’s become clear that not only has he lost touch with the audience and the original spirit of the character, he doesn’t seem too keen on putting much effort into writing the show (as I will discuss below). Then you have his clear misogyny: his views that women in relationships can’t be interesting, that what makes Veronica interesting as a character is her trauma and how much she can endure, and the fact that basically every female character in the history of the show has a history of sexual victimization. He thought that making the Mexican cartel hitmen “philosophical” was subverting expectations (which says a lot of what his expectations of Latinx characters are). Then this is the way he essentially exploited his long term fan base to earn a new season of the show, only to turn around and tell us that we don’t matter. From a business perspective alone keeping him doesn’t make sense; selling a streaming platform on your loyal fanbase and then proceeding to purposefully piss ~80% of them off would be pretty questionable to me as someone in charge. The sheer cruelty with which he treated not only the fans who have supported him for 15 years (I fucking used to liveblog iZombie y’all. iZombie!), as well as how he callously dismissed long time cast members in favor of celebrity guest stars should not be rewarded. He’s admitted in interviews that he would be ok with younger writers doing a reboot many years in the future; why not just let him have a producer credit and then hand the show over to someone who’s invested in making it good?

Put a woman in charge and diversify the writing staff

A big problem with a) Veronica’s characterization in S4 b) RT’s ideas about what makes female characters interesting c) the show’s long history of problematic treatment of sexual assault is that it comes from a man’s conception of the female experience. The Veronica showcased in S4 and that RT wants to write in the future is very much a male fantasy: hates marriage and children, traumatized, DTF, and is too cool for other women. RT stated in interviews that he wanted to show Veronica at a “crossroads” this season in a way he claimed had been shown for men but not women; many female viewers found this depiction to ring false (few women are spending their time fretting about how committing to marriage after five years in an established relationship will bar us from strange sex going forward). In addition to having RT at the helm, most of the show’s writing staff for the majority of its run has been white dudes, which doesn’t bode well for telling the story of a female PI in a diverse community in today’s political climate. Putting a woman in charge would hopefully help rectify these issues to make the character feel more true to life and put a damper on the misogynistic storytelling. The show has a natural candidate in RT’s second-in-command Diane Ruggiero-Wright (despite her problematic history, never forget #KeisterEggGate), who has admitted to not being able to watch the last episode. Jennifer Graham, who wrote both of the books, would also be a worthy addition to the writing staff; while the books had a mixed reception, most fans agree that she got Veronica’s character right. And with the show’s problematic historical treatment of minority characters, adding more POC writers going forward is also necessary.

Bring back Logan (alive)

You don’t have to be a LoVe shipper to recognize just how integral Logan has been since the inception of the show, not just as Veronica’s partner but as a character is his own right. Logan’s journey in many ways parallels Veronica’s, and shows a contrast in how different characters respond to similar trauma. The most critical plot line in the show’s history, the mystery of who killed Lilly Kane, simply doesn’t work without Logan’s importance to Veronica. RT and his defenders like to claim that Logan was holding her back from true growth, which is frankly bizarre as he is the only character to consistently challenge her, like when he tells her that she obviously isn’t happy this season. Additionally, Logan’s scenes this season were the lone highlight of what was otherwise a painful slog of a season. Of the people who have said they would watch a potential S5, a good portion are only interested because they believe that the ambiguity of the last 10 minutes of the season means he’s not really dead (despite what RT has said in interviews). Then there’s what Logan’s death does to Veronica’s character, effectively cutting off what would have been an interesting character arc and stagnating her forever. No matter how much they try to shove Leo the pedo creep and other milquetoast RT self-insert love interests on us, no one else can possible measure up to Logan’s level in terms of being able to match Veronica as a character, intellectually or as a result of shared history.

Plus, the fact that we haven’t had a Weevil/Logan interaction since S3 is a goddamn travesty and should be rectified immediately.

Bring back Veronica

As sad as I am about Logan’s death, for me the most upsetting aspect of S4 was the assassination of Veronica’s character. For many viewers (including myself), the character we saw Kristen Bell portray in S4 wasn’t Veronica Mars but a different character with the same name. Between her abusive behavior towards Logan, her general indifference to her father’s medical condition, her dismissal of Wallace, and her racism towards Latinx characters (using a kid’s lawyer to threaten deportation: not a good look!), she was lacking the marshmallow-y center that always balanced out the pricklier aspects of her character and made her compelling. This change in characterization was especially jarring given that she was not this way when we last saw her in the books, where she mused about having children and sent her half-brother Hunter to summer camp (side note, but does he even exist anymore?). Many of us who had grown up with Veronica were hoping to see her grow with us as a character; instead we got an extreme regression lower than we’ve ever seen her. It would be one thing if they were trying to depict a PTSD storyline, which would make sense given her background, but since her change in behavior is never addressed by the narrative, it just makes her look like a cruel asshole and makes it impossible to root for her. This is exacerbated by the fact that RT has made it clear he has no interest in portraying her inner life, as shown by his wanting to avoid showing her grief over Logan’s death because it would be a real downer compared to the entertaining but ultimately hollow banter and quips he wants to focus on. Veronica this season was also just plain dumb: you mean to tell me that the girl who nearly got killed by Aaron Echolls in her back seat wouldn’t think to check her backseat every time she gets in a car?  (And let’s not even start with RT’s bizarre assertion in an interview that she apparently votes Republican). Not helping matters was Kristen Bell’s performance, which felt very flat for me this season compared to S1-3 and the movie; I don’t know if this was due to personal limitations or a reflection of the bad writing. Writers of future installments and KB herself would be wise to revisit S1, the movie, and the books to figure out what makes sense for Veronica’s character, leading me to my next point:

Get reacquainted with canon, develop a show bible, and hire a continuity director

This show has long had a problem with dropped plots, timelines, and continuity issues. Shelly Pomroy’s party has two happened either in the summer, or the fall. Then we have the movie paradox: Veronica graduated high school in 2006, which means her 10 year reunion should have taken place in 2016. The movie was released in 2014 and the books seem to keep to 2014 dates. Then S4 states that Keith’s movie accident took place in 2013, and mysteriously ages Veronica up to 35 when she should be 32 in 2019. Logan mentions an Aunt Naomi in S4--why didn’t she take care of him after Aaron was arrested (and what happened to Trina)? How the hell is Leo working as an FBI agent when he presided over the disappearance of the Lilly/Aaron tapes? Veronica is shown to be tentatively forgiving of Weevil taking the settlement from the sheriff’s department in Mr. Kiss and Tell, but is then shown to be extremely angry towards him for it in S4. This is just a small selection of the inconsistencies within the show. Plus there is the problem of repeated plot lines: Veronica rejects Leo in favor of Logan in S1, then rejects Leo in favor of Logan in Mr. Kiss and Tell, only for her to...reject Leo in favor of Logan in S4 (and RT says he wants to leave the high school plots behind). This sloppiness doesn’t bode well for a series that is supposed to be about mysteries, which require tight plotting. It would behove TPTB going forward to once and for all determine a timeline of Veronica’s life, keep a detailed record of past plot and character points, and have at least one person on staff who thinks to remember this stuff (RT notoriously has only a “solid, not spectacular” memory of the show, no matter what Kareem Abdul-Jabbar says).

Make an effort (and do your fucking research) 

Moving on from continuity issues to more general problems with the laziness of RT’s writing. He has basically admitted that he doesn’t care much about facts or characterization when writing plots--he shoehorns details to fit the plot rather than have it evolve organically from the characters and prior canon. I know that when writing it’s often impossible to make every story detail 100% accurate, but the extent of RT’s sloppiness is alarming. This excellent Reddit thread details a lot of the problems with S4 in particular, but this has been a problem since S2. Did anyone ever understand exactly why the Fitzpatricks were invested in framing Logan for Felix’s death? In the movie, it makes no sense that if Cobb and co. wanted Carrie silenced, they would add the complication of framing Logan for her murder--given her history, it would have been a lot easier just to make it look like she had accidentally overdosed. Given his previous patterns of villain writing fans were able to guess the identity of the S4 bomber based on casting alone. The mysteries in both Mr. Kiss and Tell and S4 are both ripped from the headlines, which indicates that RT wants to turn VM into the next Law and Order. Meanwhile, he complained about how hard including Logan in the story in S4 was, while Logan arguably had the best lines and most interesting scenes this season--apparently when you put an effort into things, they work out! This laziness extends past storyline issues and into factual problems that detract from the quality of the plot. Longtime fandom pals are probably tired about hearing me go on and on about how there’s no way Aaron’s lawyers could have gotten Veronica’s medical records due to HIPAA laws. Logan’s career change from naval aviator to intelligence is highly unlikely (and unnecessary, given that they changed it only to fridge him at the end of the season). Meanwhile, I know fanfic writers who have spent hours on the phone with strangers in order to research what type of firearm would cause a specific type of bullet injury. It’s very puzzling to me that RT wants to take the show in the direction of being mystery-only when apart from that one time he is piss poor at writing mysteries and puts no effort into them. I shouldn’t have to tell television writers to, you know, do their job but this is what we’ve come to in 2019.

Know your audience

A majorly annoying thing about the promo for this season is how in every single interview Rob Thomas did he was always talking about how he wanted VM to be like other shows and movies: Fargo, True Detective, Game of Thrones, Chinatown (which is apparently the only noir movie he’s ever seen). The thing is, if I wanted to watch those shows, I would; I watched Veronica Mars specifically because I enjoyed its unique qualities, and I would say most fans agree. The general perception within the fandom is that with this season Rob Thomas seems to have been aiming to dump the old, majority female, CW fanbase in order to achieve what he perceives as a cooler prestigious male fanbase; the issue is, new people aren’t going to take up a show in its fourth season if they didn’t watch or didn’t like earlier seasons. Also, trying to write a prestigious show doesn’t make your show prestigious. Considering that based on anecdotal evidence most of the people who like S4 seem to be male, he may have succeeded in the first part of his aim. However, this majority female fanbase he was so willing to cast aside are the ones who have run fansites and rewatches during fallow times (i.e. between S3 and the movie and then between the books and S4), so drumming up interest among fans (and therefore streaming views) in the future may be a challenge. Plus, women are a better advertising demographic since they are more likely to be in charge of household purchasing decisions, so maintaining us as a fanbase makes business sense as well. He may have tricked enough people into watching S4 that S5 is given a go, but I wouldn’t be surprised if streams are weak beyond that. If the show is to succeed as a commercial endeavor, better to go with appealing to a known quantity than trying to make a generic show that very few people have expressed interest in watching.

Bring back the mystery of the week

This is a more minor thing I felt was missing from S4. I think after the criticism of S3 not having a season-long arc RT overcorrected in focusing on one mystery. However, the mystery of the week had the following benefits: 1) giving chances for the characters to interact and telling us more about them 2) helping to modulate the pace of the season-long arc. With better writing a season-long standalone mystery could maybe work, but in the case of S4 specifically the mystery was kind of dull and repetitive and could have stood to include a couple of diversions in the form of a smaller case here and there.

Re-evaluate the creators’ interpretation of the word “adult”

Much of the promo and reviews for this season noted the more “adult” content to be expected this season now that Veronica’s grown. Many fans hoped that meant seeing Veronica act like, you know, an adult with adult problems rather than a teenager less mature than the actual teenager she was. Unfortunately, the show’s interpretation of the word seems to be more in keeping with a television rating sense of the word--meaning sex, drugs, and gratuitous violence (But apparently not the word “fuck.”). Look, it was expected that as the show moved to a streaming service and given the overall dramatic scope that there would be an upgrade in some of this sort of content (and I’d be a liar if I said I wasn’t looking forward to steamier LoVe moments, which were sorely overpromised), but the way it was included this season felt like RT and co. included this stuff just because they could and not to serve the storyline. For me, personally, the biggest example of this was Veronica’s drug use, which I know didn’t necessarily bother everyone. Given her history as the daughter of an alcoholic as well as someone who had been the victim of two roofie attacks, not to mention the fact that her character never seemed to be into partying, I found it very out of character (and book writer Jennifer Graham agrees). It felt like RT included this just bc they thought it would be funny to see Veronica on drugs without considering whether it made sense for her character. Also, were the beheadings strictly necessary? Plus there’s RT’s little temper tantrum over not being able to use curse words this season--they weren’t present in the original show, no one was going to miss them now, and the “cuss” thing was just annoying and reminiscent of The Good Place. 

Dealing with a parent who maybe has dementia--that’s an adult storyline. Too bad RT ended it with a dumb excuse about “mixing meds” (another factual error! Pharmacy software would have caught it!) rather than actually exploring what it would mean for Veronica to see her father in decline and take over the family business (and give Rico Colantoni the exit he appears to want). This is the kind of adult content I would hope to see in future seasons.

Adult is not a synonym for “unrelentingly bleak” either. The original show, while dark, always had an element of hope that was completely removed from S4 (no matter what KB might claim). And would it have killed the writers to show Veronica wearing disguises and going undercover like she used to? There was nothing fun about this season (and no, I don’t count the multiple partying scenes as fun, more like sad).

Kill your darlings

It’s cliche, but it’s true. Another issue the show has long had is the writers keeping around characters or inserting jokes and references for their own personal amusement rather than for the story. The most notable example of this is the continued presence of Dick, a highly problematic character considering he pushed Beaver into the room with Veronica the night of Shelly Pomroy’s party, among a whole host of other racist, sexist, and generally obnoxious actions over the years. But because Ryan Hansen is so widely beloved among the cast and crew, so he stays. Then there’s the matter of the infamous Keister egg in 3x08, which the writers and KB have all expressed love for, despite the fact that said Keister egg is an example of sexual assault--which, even if the victim is a douchey fraternity president, is never funny. 

Also the constant Big Lebowski references are tiring. Watch a new movie.

Improve Neptune’s gender ratio

Veronica Mars, despite having a female lead, has always been a male-dominated show; other than Veronica herself, the only consistent female character over the original show was Mac (and she didn’t even come back this season). This is unacceptable in 2019, for any show. The books introduced promising female characters in the form of Marcia Langdon and Petra Landros, but Marcia’s character was was watered down for S4 and Petra was nowhere to be found. Additionally, Veronica and Mac have always been written as “cool girls” who looked down on other women for their femininity, which isn’t a great message. Almost every other female character, even the innocuous Parker, is portrayed as somehow bad or incompetent. I would love nothing more than a season centered on the women of Neptune and their interactions with each other. While we’re at it, stop giving every woman on this show a background of sexual victimization.

Treat VM as an ensemble show, not a Kristen Bell vanity project 

A major complaint from Burnt Marshmallows and S4 defenders alike was how little time was given over to the original core cast this season. While Veronica may be the protagonist, a large part of how the show became so beloved was her relationships with the other characters. Yet RT has decided that going forward VM will be a KB solo project, with her traveling town to town quipping and sleeping with strangers. This seems strange, given Kristen’s recent interviews talking about how difficult it is to shoot VM and how she never wants to be first on a call sheet ever again, not to mention how she asked for less screen time all the way back in S2, which resulted in the Weevil-Logan storyline, which was way more interesting than Veronica’s storylines during the first half of that season. (The traveling detective thing also seems weird considering that KB is pretty insistent on shooting in LA to be near her family.) Additionally, if this is truly the last season of VM with all the original characters, then no one got a proper sendoff. 

I’m not sure how willing much of the cast will be to return for future iterations, given how uncomfortable many of them seemed during promo as well RT and KB’s treatment of them (insensitive at best, deliberately mean at worst) this season (shout out to Tina Majorino for recognizing what a shit show this was going to be), but bringing back all the original characters into the fold and giving them significant storylines would go a long way to mending fences with fans, improving the show from a character arc perspective, and would also give KB the break she apparently wants. 

Recourt the fanbase

What has VM always been renowned for above all else? It’s incredibly loyal fandom which not only got it renewed twice during its original run but also put up their own money to get the movie made--I know many people who donated when they really couldn’t afford to. RT basically owes the last 6 years of his career to VM fans--the success of the Kickstarter arguably got him the iZombie show running gig, and the fourth season likely wouldn’t have even happened if not for it. Thus, the blatant cruelty and disregard with which RT and KB have treated fans during the promotion of S4 has been incredibly insulting and hurtful; I still can’t fathom what in the world possessed RT to think that throwing away this 15-year relationship was a good idea. It’s not a good sign when the 2 fansites most active during the post-movie period (VMHQ and VM Confessions) cease operations in the wake of S4, and when at least 3 out of 8 board members of the oldest running fan group, Neptune Rising (who were dormant during the post-movie period but played a critical role during earlier fan campaigns and in the S4 promo) resign. A fandom this loyal that was betrayed will not stand idly by if the S5 RT wants to make goes ahead; given the number of tweets the official Hulu VM account has had to delete in the wake of S4 due to the overwhelmingly negative response as well as the controversy over editing out Logan from S4 promos, I imagine that S5 will be a PR nightmare. Even if future seasons are amazing the trust can probably never be fully repaired, but it would be helpful for RT (or fingers crossed, a new show runner) and KB (as star and EP) to go overboard in reaching out to fans and at least admitting they made a misstep with the entirety of S4. Back in the day, the old Mars Investigation fansite was invited to set to conduct interviews; maybe do that again. Also someone should get KB some sort of VM fandom-fluent media trainer because I don’t think she has conducted a single interview during her entire stint on the show that didn’t anger fans (it might help if she actually bothered to watch the show).

Map out an endgame

Look, this can’t go on forever. As long as RT keeps leaving every installment open ended with the hopes of maybe getting renewed again five years down the line, the story is going to keep running into the issues the movie and S4 faced with having to shoehorn the characters into nonsensical plot lines to reconcile those endings and deal with actor availability issues. Either plot another 2-3 seasons to wrap the show up with a satisfying conclusion, or map out a greater timeline of Veronica’s life with spots where a mini series or movie here and there could fit in.

[yoonglesmari]

Unexpected

Part 5: Sour lemonade

[Genre: social media, fluff, crack humor, slight angst?]

[Summery: After doing your brother a favor you end up in his apartment’s food pantry. What are you to do when your stomach starts to growl in need of food, oh and footsteps start to approach you.]

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As you looked at your phone one last time you couldn’t believe how Jungkook could make fun of you in a time of despair. Then again what else could you expect from your shrimp-IQ friends. But you were one to talk considering your situation. How do you manage to get yourself in weird situations all the time? That is a question you still don’t have an answer to. And how did you find yourself in a pantry eating semi-hard Oreos? Again, no answer.

Just this morning you were doing completely fine, that is until your supposedly IQ 148 brother texted you. Apparently, he had left his oven on for the second time since he had moved into his apartment. Being a good sibling, and totally hadn’t bribed with food, you agreed to go check for him. Lucky he had left a spare key under and you wondered how your brother had not been robbed just yet.

His apartment was decently clean but that was expected from your neat freak sibling. He has always had a tendency for making sure everything was clean and in its place. Walking over to his kitchen you noticed that he had indeed left the stove on but somehow it hadn’t burned the pot that was on top, empty. Oh, how you wanted to know how he passed one of the hardest philosophy classes, yet he forgets everything sooner than the goldfish you had as children.

The only reason you didn’t ponder too much on it was because your stomach started to growl in demand for food. Taking food from a stranger’s home is wrong and all, but then again it wasn’t a stranger’s home it was your brother’s. So, with that out of the way you made your way over to the nearby pantry. To your surprise it wasn’t alphabetically organized. Instead, everything was all over the place and some things were even wrapped in aluminum foil. The only thing that you considered safe to digest was a packet of Oreos. It wasn’t brand new but there was a decent amount left. 

Just as you were about to introduce one of the cookies to your mouth you heard the door being opened. A cold shiver ran up your back and your dumb reflexes didn’t find any other solution except to hide. And where did you decide to hide? In the pantry of course. And that’s how you found yourself sitting on the cold-pantry floor.

You were dead silent in there. All you could hear was you slowly crunching on the Oreos that is until you started to hear footsteps. You heard the footsteps walk past you and the refrigerator being opened. Everything was going to be ok as long as you stayed quiet. Then as soon as the footsteps left you would bust out of there and run back to the safety of your apartment. Yes, everything was going to be a-ok.

But life doesn’t work like that, and instead, you were greeted with a flash of light. The door had been opened. Standing right before you was a young black-haired guy. He looked familiar but you couldn’t really put your finger on it. 

“I believe those are mind” he was pointing to the pack of Oreos sitting on your laps. You wanted to say something, but your mouth was full of dry Oreos, making it impossible for you to speak. All you could do was give him back the package and mumble a sorry. It was at that moment that you recognized who he was, Yoongi. You remembered seeing him when Namjoon brought his friends to lunch the other day. That just made everything so much more embarrassing.

“I’m sorry about that. I’m not an intruder, well sort of. My brother texted me saying that he left his stove on and wanted me to check it out. Of course, that fool HAD left the stove on. I honestly don’t know how he is school smart but life smart. I don’t even know if that makes sense, but yeah that’s kind of how I ended up here. Well, I guess that doesn’t explain why I’m eating these Oreos, or why I was in the pantry but that-” but before you could finish you saw that the man in front of you was laughing. Your cheeks started to burn and the only thing you wanted was for the earth to swallow you at that moment.

“I’m sorry y/n, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone talk about Namjoon like that with such a passion. But how about instead of sitting on the floor you’re welcome to take a seat at the table.” You nodded and quick stood up. Cleaning yourself up a bit you walked over to the table in what you were guessing was the dining table.

Papers, pens and empty cups of Starbucks coffee were scattered all over the table. If you could take a guess you would say that a whole tornado had passed over the table, done a little chicken dance, had a party and puked out the coffee cups. You say down and out of curiosity picked up a paper. To your surprise it was a music sheet. You had seen music sheets before when you were younger and would sneak into your brother’s room. Needless to say, you weren’t quite familiar with actually reading it. Picking up another sheet you saw something that you actually understood, words. Of course, they weren’t just random words, but it looked like some sort of poem or song. Looking back up to where Yoongi had gone you saw that he was in the kitchen probably getting something to drink. Shrugging to yourself you decided to give it a quick read.

⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯ So far away, if I have a dream If I have a dream that flies away Don’t fall away, yea, if I have a dream If I have a dream that flies away,

Dream, I will be there for your creation until the end of your life 

Dream, wherever you might be, it will be lenient  Dream, you will fully bloom after all the hardships  Dream, though your beginnings may be humble, may the end be prosperous

Yeah, fuck, I live because I can't die Nothing is more miserable and lonely than not having something you want to do The only thing everyone around me says Is to come to my senses I try to vent out my anger but the only one here with me is me So what’s the point of venting? Every morning, it's terrifying to open my eyes, It's terrifying to breath

So far away, if I have a dream If I have a dream that flies away Don’t fall away, if I have a dream If I have a dream that flies away ⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯

It was beautiful. You wanted to continue but before you could the piece of paper was snatched away from your fingers. Yoongi had taken the paper away and had proceeded to pick up all the papers on the table.

“I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have read over something that wasn’t mine. I’m sorry but it was really good, did you write them?”

“Yeah, it’s a little something I have been working on for a while now. I like it somewhat, but I’m still not completely done with it.” Putting all of his papers on a chair and pushing the cups to the ground he poured you a drink. “here you probably need it after eating all those Oreos with nothing to drink. We don’t have any milk right now, but we do have some lemonade.”

“Thanks, I really needed it” taking a generous sip of the lemonade you soon realized that might have been a mistake. It tasted really sour with just a tiny pinch, if any, of sugar. “umm… Yoongi, it's quite a different taste.”

Yoongi looked confused but after taking a sip from his own cup you knew he understood. He tried to swallow the sour fluid discreetly, but his face couldn’t hid how much he just wanted to spit it all out. You couldn’t help but giggle at his silly actions, yet adorable in a way.

“I might just have forgotten to add sugar.”

After fixing the lemonade and making it much more drinkable you two shared a cup of two of it. You two talked over the music sheets and everything that was on the table before. You complimented him on his creative and sentimental writing skills. It turns out that Yoongi had always wanted to produce his own music and one day become a professional music producer. You two also talked over your brother and his embarrassing moments as a kid and so much more.

Talking to him was so easy and you truly enjoyed every second of it. After looking at your phone you saw that it had gotten late and that you should really get going. Saying your goodbyes, you left and headed over to your apartment. A smile that you just couldn’t hold back was stuck on your face all the way to your apartment. When you had arrived at your door and were looking for your keys in your pocket you also found an Oreo.

“some sour lemonade would definitely go well with this”

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【Unexpected】

Part 5: Sour lemonade

[Pairing: songwriter!yoongi x artist!y/n]

[Genre: social media, fluff, crack humor, slight angst?]

「Yoongi’s life is a simple one but it’s a good one, but y/n’s isn’t so simple. With so many things in her life she moves in hopes of leaving it all behind. So what happened when an unexpected boy finds her in a pantry and causes her to question everything she’s done so far?」

《prev | next》

masterlist

『A/N: I actually don’t know what happened to the original post but for some reason it was deleted(??) but low key a good thing cuz it gave me the excuse to rewrite this part because I wasn't satisfied with the first one lol.』

[porkchop-ao3]

A Thrill I’ve Never Known (Chapter 38)

Out In The Wilderness

Arthur and reader head out for some time away from camp after the trolley station job goes badly. Deep conversations and smut ensue. Enjoy!

(All chapters tagged with #ATINK and also posted on Ao3, username PorkChop)

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Arthur returned to camp in a foul mood. So did Dutch, and to a lesser degree, Lenny. They all looked dishevelled and bashed up; Dutch had a pair of black eyes, their clothes were filthy and ripped, Arthur's hands and face were dotted with cuts and bruises. It was clear before anyone said anything that the trolley station job had not gone to plan. I'd been discussing the art dealer job with John when they all returned home, and I watched as Arthur went straight upstairs to his room; presumably to get changed.

John said my name, and I turned back to him. He was staring at me expectantly. 

"I'm sorry?"

"What day? You were telling me when this job was going down," he reminded me. 

"Oh, yeah. Saturday, so tomorrow. Evening time; I've spoken to Arthur about it, he said he'd talk to Lenny. The wagon will be coming from Saint Denis to Valentine, so I'd suggest mapping that route, picking a spot on the outskirts of Valentine, going for it then."

"You're not joining us?" He asked. 

"We all saw how well I handled waving a gun around yesterday."

"Oh right, yeah. How're you holding up, by the way?"

"I'm okay. Ain't the first time a gang of psychos has knocked me down and brought me close to death," my laugh was empty, and John gave me a careful smile. 

"I heard you handled it well, in the end."

"I shot a guy, yeah, no need to congratulate me. People keep praising me for it, it's real odd," I frowned to myself. 

"It's okay not to be proud of it, but you did the right thing; was all you could do. That's all people are praising you for," he shrugged, then clapped a hand on my shoulder, giving it a convivial shake. 

"I guess," I smiled. 

"Hey, Arthur mentioned that job to me," Lenny said to me as he passed me by on the way to Pearson's pot, "sounds like a good one. Well, I hope it is, today didn't go so well."

"I thought as much, what happened?" I frowned, and John spun around in his seat to listen to him. 

"Barely made enough to buy groceries, and Dutch took a real knock to the head. It weren't good. But we made it, so that counts for something," Lenny flashed an optimistic smile once he'd finished, then carried on walking. 

John and I shared a look, and eventually I rose to my feet. 

"I'm gonna go see Arthur," I told him.

"Sure, you tell him I'm in on that job tomorrow," John nodded, and I patted his back appreciatively before heading off. 

I knocked on Arthur's door, calling his name, and he invited me in. He was just buttoning up a fresh shirt when I entered, his back to me. I walked inside, picked up his clothes for something to do, bundling them up and putting them on the table neatly for me to wash for him later. I met his gaze, noting the tension in his jaw and brow. 

"I heard it didn't go well, I'm sorry," I started, and Arthur shook his head, releasing a breath. 

"Will you ride with me?" He requested, surprising me.

"Of course," I nodded, then followed him out of the room as he pulled his suspenders up and over his shoulders.

"Could do with just some space between me and everyone else, this place," he said under his breath as we walked through the house, downstairs and over to the horses. "I'm sure you could, too."

"You're not wrong," I agreed, and we mounted up on our horses and headed out of camp. 

We rode in silence for some time, heading away from the swampy area, out towards the firmer grounds of Scarlett Meadows, where the air was just a little dryer. That was immediately more pleasant on its own, the swamps could be so suffocating. 

I decided to breach the silence. "You wanna talk about what went wrong today?"

"It all went wrong, right from the start. We shouldn't even have bothered with it in the first place; it was a bad idea. Should've known that when Bronte told us about it."

"Wait, Bronte? The feller who had Jack?"

"Yeah, yeah, you don't have to tell me how dumb it was to trust him with a tip-off after that nonsense," Arthur grumbled and I shook my head. 

"I wasn't gonna say that."

"Well, it was dumb. I can't believe Dutch went ahead with it. But it's done now. We're just lucky we got out of there alive," he scoffed, shaking his head bitterly.

I pursed my lips and looked ahead, running my fingers through Rayna's mane briefly. 

"We stuck the place up and there was barely any cash, then the number of lawmen turning up– it had to be a set up. We had to shoot our way out of the city, almost killing ourselves in a trolley crash in the process. It was all complete shambles," Arthur continued.

"Trolley crash?"

"I'm sticking to horses as my getaway from now on," Arthur grunted and shook his head. "At least we got your job tomorrow."

"John said he's in on that, by the way," I let him know, and he nodded. 

"Seems straightforward enough, hopefully it'll make us some good money."

"Don't jinx it," I snorted. 

"Any more bad luck, at this point I'm jus' used to it," he sighed. 

"Cheer up, Arthur. As long as we're alive and free, things are okay," I reassured him, smiling at him. He let out a wistful sigh and glanced over at me. 

"That's real nice. It's a pity I ain't got much room for optimism right now," he said apologetically and I shook my head in amusement. 

"It's alright, Arthur, you ain't gotta be sunshine and rainbows. Just don't dwell on it, okay? It's over, you and the others got out mostly unscathed and you're free to rob some other poor bastards. You don't have to think about it no more, think of somethin' else," I said cheerily and he chuckled. 

"You seem chipper," he commented. 

"Well, I'm just trying to keep us afloat. Things aren't bad enough to be all in despair just yet, and I don't like seeing my man with the weight of the world on his shoulders. That's Dutch's to carry, our mighty leader," I teased, catching the shake of his head and his badly hidden smirk. 

"Your man, huh?"

I looked at him for a while, pressing my lips together. "How 'bout we set up camp out here?"

"Now?" He quirked a brow.

"Sure. I could kill us a rabbit for dinner, we could camp out here. You got your tent, right?"

"Sure I do."

"Alright then, what do you say?"

"You ain't worried 'bout Dutch getting mad with us again?" He questioned, though he let me veer us off the path towards what looked like an ideal campground. A patch of trees with a decently sized clearing in the middle, far enough away from passing travellers.

"He already hates me, so I don't care. Are you worried?" 

Arthur made a noise and the two of us dismounted, hitching the horses up against a tree. 

"He don't hate you," he tried to assure me, and I smiled in amusement.

"Well he sure as shit don't like me," I laughed, "don't worry, I don't mind. It's you I'm sticking around for. Along with folk like Charles and John, Mary-Beth, Abigail… decent folk."

"So you don't think Dutch is decent?" Arthur queried, retrieving the canvas for his tent off the back of Jet. 

"I never said that."

"You didn't, but it sounded like you meant it."

I shrugged my shoulders, wandering around the immediate area to look for firewood as Arthur pitched the tent. We worked in silence for a while, I'd gathered up an armful of sticks for the fire by the time the tent was standing and Arthur was laying down blankets inside. The sun was starting to go down, and I hurried off with my bow to catch us some dinner before it got dark.

When I got back with a rabbit slung over my shoulder, Arthur had a fire going. I sat myself down next to him where he was poking at it, staring into the flames. His face was aglow with yellow light, dimming and brightening with the shivering of the flames; he looked deep in thought. I was in the process of skinning dinner when he spoke again. 

"You think I'd be upset with you if you admitted you had zero trust in Dutch?" He asked. His tone was curious, not in the least bit irritable; it put me at ease, but not enough to want to open up on the topic. 

"You mean the man you've been following since you was just a boy?" I began, then snorted, "I wouldn't blame you if you were, but I don't think you would be."

"Right, so why're you dodging that question just now?" He followed up.

"Because I believe it's far above my station to sit here and spout off what I think about a man I've known for five minutes, to you, who's known him decades," I explained, "sure, I won't keep my lips fully sealed, I'm quite honest about the fact that he's not my favourite man in the world, and that I don't think he reckons all that much to me. But I don't feel right going any further than that."

"There's more to it, I know there is, and I want you to be able to tell me these things. You're my lady, I don't put you at any station lower than myself, you understand that, don't you?" 

"Well, I'm happy to hear that," I told him quietly, putting the rabbit skin aside and beginning to cut the meat from the animal.

"Come on, sweetheart," he pleaded.

"I'm wrist deep in a rabbit, Arthur," I chuckled, "what do you want me to say?"

"Tell me why you don't like Dutch. And I ain't asking so I could try to change your mind, I wanna know because I'm–" he stopped abruptly, paused to think, "Dutch ain't been acting the way I'm used to, lately. I just wanna hear from someone who has a fresh perspective."

I sat back on my heels and looked at him. He held eye contact for some time, then broke it to spear a piece of meat on the end of his knife and hold it over the flames. 

"Okay," I said meekly, "well, I get the impression he likes having people around him that'll do whatever he says without question. And sure, that's understandable to some extent, him being the so-called brains behind this whole gang, but…"

"Keep going."

"I don't think it's all that healthy, is all. He obviously cares about you, but the way he acts with me, it's like he's worried your loyalty's being split. I don't know how best to say it," I explained, shrugging a bit. "Just look at how he was when we went to Saint Denis. You took one night away, while the whole camp was gettin' drunk anyway, and he made out like it was a terrible thing you did. 

"And yesterday, acting like you were keeping secrets from him just 'cause you didn't go runnin' to him the first time we shared a kiss… like he deserves to know everything even when it don't concern him. Like you ain't just allowed to be your own person. Perhaps I'm being melodramatic," I shook my head, looking to Arthur to see him focusing completely on the meat he was cooking, his brow lowered only enough to be noticeable. 

"So I guess that's part of it. The way he seems to have you on such a short leash despite all you do, all your loyalty," I concluded. 

"I have to set an example, I suppose is his thinkin'," he explained and I gave him a look.

"Thought you said you weren't gonna try changing my mind."

"No, I'm– yeah, you're right. Sorry."

"Anyway, you said yourself he ain't treating me like everyone else, that he trusted Micah sooner than this. I've said this before, 'bout how I feel I could be accused of trying to steal you away. Maybe there's some truth in that, 'least for what Dutch thinks of me," I hypothesised.   

"Maybe," he said softly, surprising me with his acceptance. 

"Arthur, just remember that I don't care about all this. Last thing I want is for me to change the way you and Dutch are. Just 'cause he can be unfriendly with me, don't mean I want you to take issue with the man. I ain't been here long enough to make waves so big, never mind what you and I mean to each other," I said, putting my hand on his knee and giving it a squeeze. 

"Don't worry about that. I ain't gonna act any sort'a way with him. But I gotta say, I been thinking stuff since before you, back in Blackwater. He's been doing things I don't understand, I guess he's just been a little more ruthless. I've been hoping it's a rough patch, but things ain't improving; and since being with you and hearing what you've gotta say, well," he sighed, shaking his head a little, "I've been seeing more clearly, is all."

"What do you mean?"

"It means a couple months ago I wouldn't've dreamed of quitting, leaving the gang. Now I think of it damn near every day."

 My heart thumped and I stared with wide eyes. Did he really just say that?

Arthur handed me the knife by its handle with the cooked meat on the end. I took it from him, blowing on it to cool it as I processed his words. 

The sky was painted navy blue, now, with streaks of pink only just visible on the horizon. I couldn't see the stars through the thin layer of cloud, but it was a pleasant evening regardless. Too pleasant to feel so jarred by such a conversation.

I pulled the meat off the knife once it was cool enough to touch, then speared another raw piece and handed it to Arthur to cook for himself. 

"If you're really thinking that way," I began carefully, taking a bite of meat to break up my words and allow me time to think, "then I can only say I'm sorry. I know you've been there a long time and it must be daunting to suddenly have these feelings."

"Yeah, no doubt," he snorted, watching the fat ooze from the meat, dripping into the fire and sparking bright.

"I'll stick with you, no matter what," I told him confidently, "I didn't have much at all when I joined, I was just floating along, getting by. You've made me happy, sweetheart, given me something more to wake up for than just surviving."

"You know, I could say the same thing to you. Maybe it's realising that that's made me consider getting the hell out. If I could spend each day with you, without all the crap that plagues us now," he trailed off and shook his head with a wistful sigh. 

I reached to him, stroking my fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. His shoulders loosened at my touch, dropping down as he took a slow breath. 

"Let's just enjoy this, hm? Being out here, just us, on a nice warm evening. Isn't this lovely?" I smiled at him and he chuckled. 

"You're too goddamn precious, you know that?"

I grinned and leaned over to kiss his cheek.

The two of us ate the rabbit between us and spent the evening sat around the fire in peace. It really was lovely, just enjoying some time alone with him. I felt as happy as I had in Saint Denis, even without the cushy bed; perhaps even more so. I liked being outdoors, breathing in cool, clean air, enjoying that sweet smoky smell of the fire, hearing crickets and owls working together to compose a constant song. No comfy bed could beat it, not when the city could only offer less savoury sounds and smells. 

We crawled into the tent together, letting the fire smoulder on outside, keeping us warm while the temperature dropped once the sun was hidden beyond the horizon. Arthur was curled around me from behind, his body knitted against mine in a perfect copy of my silhouette, his hand around my front where I held it in mine. We slept like that.

Not through the night, however.

I awoke at some ungodly hour – the sun not yet close to rising – needing to pee. The last thing I wanted was to remove myself from Arthur's arms, but I knew I'd never be able to fall back to sleep without taking care of business. So, I very gently lifted his arm and scooted out from under it, and out of the tent. I crept away from our campsite and did what I had to do. 

I fed our dwindling fire with a couple more sticks before heading back into the warm privacy of the tent, settling down on my side next to Arthur. I was tempted to pull his arm back over me, but I was too scared of waking him. It didn't matter, though, since he shifted and wrapped it around me himself.

My heart warmed at the sleepy action, and I smiled at his tired, breathy groan as he moved around to get comfy huddled up behind me again. I thought he was asleep until I felt his lips at the back of my neck, pressing soft, sweet kisses there above the bandage wrapped around it.

"You okay?" He murmured. 

"Call of nature," I whispered and he hummed in understanding, kissing me again as his arm tightened around my waist. "I'm sorry for waking you."

"Don't be," he breathed, letting his hand creep up my body, dragging along, unabashedly exploring. I let out a surprised laugh. 

"Arthur?" I questioned, feeling him hum and talk against my neck as he continued to trail his mouth around to the space below my ear. 

"What is it?" 

"What're you–" my voice left me as his hand reached my breast, fondling me through my clothes as his hips curled forwards, pressing himself against my backside. "Arthur," I repeated, this time in a breathy moan. 

I tilted my body, pressing my backside firm against him, giving my permission for things to go further. His hips rolled, a shaky groan vibrating below my ear. He was hard. Not even just getting there, already totally hard. I gasped, my body stiffening involuntarily, in turn making Arthur freeze. 

He made a dazed sound, let my breast go, backed off a little.

"Shit, I'm sorry, I weren't–" he huffed a sheepish laugh, "I weren't quite with it, there."

"What? Oh, don't stop," I pleaded with him. There was a pause.

"Really?" 

I hummed my agreement, nodding. 

"I wake up like this sometimes," he whispered, pressing his hips back to my behind, rubbing subtly, "usually it don't matter. But waking up like this, with you lying there…"

Arthur took a deep breath, his nose buried in the crook of my shoulder.

"Well, Dutch ain't likely to interrupt us here," I whispered, and Arthur laughed harder than I expected him to. 

"I would not put much past him," he joked, then kissed the side of my neck, steering clear of my bandaged wound, allowing his hand to move downwards, exploring my thighs. 

His kisses turned to sucking, his lips closing over a spot on my neck that made me gasp. Over time he'd desensitised me to my once unbearable ticklishness, now it was only pleasure I felt.

As he sucked on my skin, making me tingle, he tugged open the button on my jeans and pushed his hand inside. I cursed under my breath. This is really happening out here, I thought. He stroked me fast, perfect pressure over my clit, tight circles, having me panting in no time. 

Arthur sucked on my neck until it was on the verge of feeling tender, then he released me, pressing a kiss to the spot before resting his chin on my shoulder and peering down my body. He watched as he pleasured me, made me moan softly, forced my hips to roll on their own, encouraging the motion of his hand and simultaneously grinding against his arousal. Arthur groaned into my ear, shifted. I was trapped between his hand and his hips, pushed back and forth between the two. His heavy breaths, sighs of my name, it took away all tension in me. I wrapped my hand around Arthur's arm and clung to it as two fingers entered me, the heel of a hand grinding down. 

"Mm, I need you," he sighed to me, tilting his head and letting his nose and lips make trails of goosebumps on my neck and shoulder. His breath tickled me and I came close to losing it, my core pulsing and feeling hot and sensitive.

He fucked me with his fingers, his pace moderate, yet careful. He was always careful with me. 

My ass was exposed as Arthur used his free hand to pull my pants down along with my underwear, the air hit my skin and though it wasn't cold, I shivered. There was shuffling behind me, the sound of shifting fabric and metal belt buckles; then Arthur was hot against me, his freed erection rubbing up against my backside, a guttural moan vibrating through his chest to my back.

I came on his fingers, gripping his arm tighter, thrusting against him as the pleasure took over and drove my body to move. I moaned Arthur's name, uttering my pleads for him to have me, to take me there and then. 

"I got you, baby," he whispered, slowing his strokes, removing his fingers, giving my sensitive clit a couple of swipes that made me whimper and twitch. Arthur took his cock in his hand, guided one of my legs forward to give him access.

"Please," I sighed, unable to keep the needy desperation out of my voice. I didn't sound like myself to me, I sounded utterly debauched. Perhaps I'd be ashamed of myself if I wasn't so helplessly aroused. 

He guided himself inside me; each time we did this was easier than the last. I no longer felt any pain. Once we were fully connected, Arthur made a shaky, broken sound as he took a moment to wrap his arm around my front and hold me to him. He remained still for a moment. His face was pressed against my shoulder and I could feel his stuttered breaths rolling over me, hot and humid. 

"You're too good to me, lettin' me do this out here," he rumbled, barely audibly. His hips gave a minute pull and push, enough to have him sucking air through his teeth. 

"You say that like you're the only one who likes this," I laughed though it was more like a series of heavy breaths.

"Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure I'm the one with the better deal. You're goddamn perfect," he whispered, thrusting, picking up the pace. His movements were measured and deep, lingering on the inward thrust, staying buried in me for a second, so deep I felt an ache bloom in my gut. 

"Wouldn't be so sure, you ain't felt what I'm feeling," I said, squeezing my muscles around him and delighting in the shot of pleasure it provided. Seemingly for Arthur too, who released a sudden, loud moan. 

"Ahh, fuck," he gasped, then began fucking me in earnest, quick and hard enough to bounce me back and forth on his length and rob me of my breath. 

I brought one hand to Arthur's, gripping it tight, my other hand going between my legs. I curiously teased my fingers along my folds, reaching down to where we were joined, straddling two fingers either side of his cock. He hummed at the contact, kissing me then clamping down to suck on another part of my neck, right where it joined my shoulder. I whined and tilted my head, encouraging him. 

Arthur was particularly confident that night, it seemed; eagerly pawing at my breasts after slipping a hand underneath my shirt. He played with my nipples, tugging and thumbing them until they were hard and sensitive. He was less hesitant than he had been before. I wondered why, but it struck me with the way he was grunting in my ear and fucking into me quick and needy, that he seemed to have a lot of pent up tension. I understood, it'd been a terrible couple of days. 

"Baby, can we– up on your knees, for me?" He requested after a moment, his movements faltering, his hand planting itself in front of me to hold himself up as he began to reposition himself. 

I was breathless as I kicked my legs free of clothing and rolled onto my front within the confines of his arms; breaking our connection only temporarily. I pushed myself up on my hands and knees and Arthur was immediately settling in behind me, grabbing my hips. He re-entered with a hiss of a curse word. The change allowed him more freedom, and he pulled me back to meet his thrusts as he picked up where he left off. His cock so firmly stimulated an incredible spot inside me and I cried out in pleasure, collapsing forward to rest my head on my folded arms as I took everything he gave. 

"Is this nice, princess?" He asked me, breath laboured.

"Yes!" I sighed, hearing his moan of a chuckle in response. He took a hand and stroked it up my spine, lifting my shirt and camisole with it. 

Arthur slowed enough to appreciate the position, only for a moment, to cast his hands down the curve of my waist, over my hips, to my backside (which he squeezed rather zealously), and back up again. All the while a low moan built in his throat. 

"Fuck, you are beautiful," his words were uttered quiet and gravelly, his voice coarse and earnest enough for me to really believe it just for that moment. It was odd, feeling such a way. 

I squeezed my muscles around him again, earning a grunt and a chuckle and a breathy that's nice. Then his breather was over and he fucked me hard, his hips smacking against my backside, his hands gripping me almost enough to bruise but not quite; he'd never lose himself enough to unintentionally mar my body with his passion. Though, I suspected my neck would bear a few signs of it with the way he'd been ravishing it, entirely intentionally.

I reached between my legs again, this position allowing me to touch him more easily. My fingers found the edge of his cock again, I enjoyed feeling him pumping in and out of me. His balls met my hand with every thrust, and I reached to cup them, hearing the way Arthur hummed and sucked in a shuddering breath. 

"What's that hand doin' down there?" He queried playfully, leaning forwards and holding himself up with a hand next to me. His chest pressed against my back, the cold metal of the fixings of his suspenders reminded me he was still fully dressed, taking me through the opening of his pants. The thought thrilled me, oddly. 

"Do you like it?" I giggled. Arthur pushed my shirt further up with his nose, then kissed me between my shoulders. 

"Mmhm," he hummed his affirmation, rolling his hips in an upward motion, breathing heavy across my back as he pressed his forehead to me. "'m close," he told me. 

He pushed himself upwards, taking his cock in hand as he withdrew. He rubbed the head of it along my folds, circling my clit until I was groaning. He was drawing out our pleasure, making it last. 

The few moments of emptiness made it all the more exhilarating when he returned to my warmth. His hands spread my ass cheeks, his thumbs venturing down to part the lips of my nether regions around his length; spreading me open. He let loose an indulgent sound, and I turned my head to look over my shoulder at him. 

"That's real pretty," he whispered, making me flush, "God, I'd love to–" he stopped, biting down on his lip and appearing to make a conscious decision to leave the sentence unfinished. 

I gave his balls a gentle fondle, and he dropped his head back to gaze at the top of the tent with a moan. 

"What's that?" I asked him sweetly.

"I'm being filthy, don't mind me," he chuckled, looking back down at me and smirking.

"Be filthy out loud, will you?" 

Arthur laughed at my bluntness, but it dissolved into a groan when I pulsed my muscles around him; a trick I'd learned very quickly that he liked. 

"You're gonna kill me, woman," he growled, his cheeks flushing peach. "I hope you realise I'm stalling, I don't wanna finish just yet. This is too damn good."

"Tell me what you were gonna say," I pleaded and with a soft sigh, Arthur squeezed my backside, letting his thumb dip between the cheeks. I jerked at the sensation.

"I'd love to finish inside you," he told me, and I swore I felt his cock twitch at the utterance. "See the mess it'd make. Told you it was filthy." 

"I'd love that too," I admitted, and he quickly shook his head. 

"I trust you don't need me to tell you why I won't."

"Of course. It's nice to imagine, though," I licked my lips and brought my hand to my clit, slowly playing with myself. I was incredibly sensitive and I released a breath, letting my eyes close. 

"Oh, it certainly is," he murmured, and began to move again. "I wanna make you cum, angel, wanna see how it feels when I'm inside you." 

"I'm almost there," I told him, rubbing myself quicker. He took me at a faster pace, grunting with exertion as he buried himself over and over, making my insides flutter and my mind grow absent; orgasm building fast. 

"That's it, darlin', I love hearing those moans," he commented, and at that point I was barely aware of the fact I was moaning. But I was. Very loudly. Any late wanderers passing by would no doubt be getting an earful. 

"Oh fuck– Arthur," I cried out, everything in me clenching up, teetering on release. 

"Where'd you wan' it, baby; when I cum?" He asked, his voice under strain and hoarse. 

"Anywhere you want," I gasped. 

Arthur's hand cupped my ass cheek, squeezing and spreading, his thumb wandering down the cleft. The presence of the digit there once again made me jerk and clench, the pleasant sensation sent me. My pleasure hit it's crescendo, my body shuddering and pulsing around Arthur's length, intensity dimming everything around me but him and the way he made me feel.

"Shit, that's nice," Arthur hissed through clenched teeth, "good girl." 

Why he felt the need to praise me, I wasn't sure, but I knew for damn sure I enjoyed it.

In that wonderful period of worriless bliss after my orgasm, Arthur pulled out of me, pushing his cock against the cleft of my ass and grinding until I could feel him spilling over my backside. His breaths came heavy and sounded like growls and he rode out his orgasm thrusting against me. 

It was intense and quick, and it ended abruptly when he pulled away, catching himself from falling backwards out of the tent with a hand behind him. A moment later I felt the blanket on my backside, wiping away his seed. I shifted and made a strange sound; it was extremely odd feeling him wipe me there.

"Sorry, I got a little slapdash with my aim, there. It was about to drip down and I–" his eyes were apologetic as he looked at me, willing me to understand what he was saying without having to spell it out (for once). 

"Oh, it's okay," I told him. 

"I didn't want it to– could'a–"

"I got it," I grinned at him and he let out a relieved chuckle. 

"I'm sorry," he whispered, leaning over me, kissing my temple. 

"Why're you apologising? That was incredible," I breathed, shifting to lie on my back below him, my shirt and camisole still bunched up, exposing my breasts. His eyes drifted down my body, between my legs briefly. His eyes – usually so soft and easy when looking at me – held an exhilarating air of hunger and pride.

After a moment, he spoke. "Yeah, it was, weren't it?" His little smirk and his cheeky tone sent me into a giggle. "You're an incredible woman," he added, leaning down and nuzzling his face against my neck, gently pressing a kiss to my bandage. 

His body settled over mine, his cock nestling between my legs, coaxing gasps from the both of us.

"I never know what to say when you say things like that," I whispered. 

"You ain't gotta say nothing, just believe it," he answered, kissing my neck, then my jaw, then my cheeks. 

"You could take your own advice, there; the most handsome cowboy I ever did lay eyes on," I grinned up at him and cupped his face in my hands, trailing my thumbs over his cheekbones, "though he don't know it."

"You ain't seen my last bounty poster," he scoffed out a laugh and I rolled my eyes playfully. "I look like one ugly son of a bitch."

"Well, they couldn't put a real flattering picture up, otherwise who'd wanna bring you in? They'd be hunting you down to marry you instead."

"Alright, Miss Jemima Jones, what con you pullin'?"

"Never mind," I sighed, shaking my head at him, "I guess if you really knew how nice you were to look at, you'd get nothing done. Jus' be staring in the mirror all day like Miss O'Shea."

Arthur laughed, but pushed his face into my shoulder as if to hide it. 

"That's why she don't do much. Her beauty's a blessing and a curse," I added.

"Dutch let's her off jus' to keep her quiet. Molly, she… she don't have it as easy as it looks," Arthur told me, lifting his head to look at me. 

"No, I don't imagine she does. Can't be easy being in love with someone like Dutch," I acknowledged.

"No. I've known Dutch years, and I have to say… he don't always treat his lady friends all that good."

"In what way?" I frowned. 

"Easily replaced," he simply murmured. "So, I'd say falling for him; that's her worst curse. He's been brushing her off a lot, lately."

"You think he's getting…" I trailed off, not wanting to say bored, but meaning it. Arthur understood and nodded. 

"Seen it plenty of times, unfortunately."

Well, I thought, Molly could do a lot better than him anyway. But I didn't say it.

After a moment I said; "where are my pants? It's odd talking about Dutch when I'm naked from the waist down," and Arthur laughed, sitting up, back on his heels. 

He handed me my pants and I redressed – an easy process with my drawers still lining the inside of my jeans – as he fixed his own clothes. He moved to sit down beside me, and we were both a little out of breath after moving around in the confined space. We laid side by side, staring up at the top of the tent and watching the shifting light dance across the canvas. A reminder that the thing was fabric, not brick, and we'd essentially just slept together out in the open in the middle of nowhere. Goodness me.

"What we just did," I began, rolling my head to the side to look at him; he did the same, "was real naughty." I smirked.

"What did you expect when you hooked up with a lowlife criminal?" He quipped and I snorted, shaking my head. 

"Well, I don't know. Never envisioned myself doing that."

"You disappointed?"

"Absolutely not."

"Well, I wouldn't worry too much about our bad behaviour, then," he grinned at me. 

"Is that your life moral? Bad behaviour is okay as long as the result is satisfactory?" I questioned, all in good fun, of course.

"Well, not consciously, no. But it does look that way, don't it?" He said, almost a little sheepishly. We shared a laugh and I shook my head at him affectionately.

"You're a funny man," I breathed, rolling over to snuggle up against his side, laying my head on his chest. I listened to his heartbeat, a little elevated. 

I wanted to tell him I loved him, but I could not find the courage. Instead I thought it, over and over, hoping he knew it.

[painandpleasure86]

Being happy isn’t against all odds

A/N: Hi there ppl! I never participated in a ship week like this time… Thank u Mel aka @roger-taylors-car for hosting this special week ❤️

This little DeazelloNeighbors'AU haves the previous chapters:

Ch #1 “My new neighbor it’s my crush”: https://painandpleasure86.tumblr.com/post/190777536948/my-new-neighbor-its-my-crush-deazzello-week

Ch #2 “Gimme your comfort, I suffer of love”: https://painandpleasure86.tumblr.com/post/190796228203/gimme-your-comfort-i-suffer-of-love-deazello

Ch #3 “Life-changing decisions (and a lot of suspects)”: https://painandpleasure86.tumblr.com/post/190811616233/life-changing-decisions-a-lot-of-suspects Ch #4 “I Cannot Believe It’s True”: https://painandpleasure86.tumblr.com/post/190840736228/i-cannot-believe-its-true

Oh! This time, I took the prompt Break-up

Summary: after the disaster, they should restart their lives.

Warning: Angst... a lot. But also some fluff. Some sexual innuendo.

Word count: +1400

Permanent taglist: @warriorteam1924 @toomuchlove-willkillyou @deakysgurl (if you want to be in this list, send me a msg or ask)

If you liked it, please reblog! That will help me to reach to more ppl :3 Soon I’ll post a masterlist of this little AU <3

************************

February 11th, 1994

Her babies were crying. She was crying too.

Lull to Cameron was so hard. Also Luke… and more because he was saying time in time “Joei”. 

“Why you didn’t say ‘mom’? WHY?” exclaimed frustrated.

In that moment, someone knock the door of Luke’s room. Was Robert.

“Mom, this house it’s in silence… Dad isn’t here… and you’re crying.”

He saw her face. He saw it before. That expression spoke for itself. So, he hugged her.

“My dearest Rob” she said sobbing.

“Dad did it again?”

“Yeah”

Robert sighed deeply.

“Thanks to God that I could escape from uni and came here to be with you… I think that you need me”

“You’re so kind Rob… but you shouldn’t charge with that.”

“You miss Dad”

“Of course! He was my greatest love. Despite all, I was here, raising our children… and trying to maintain this family united. But that he coming back to be like he was when we had you it’s against all odds…”

Ronnie started to cry again, now in Rob’s shoulder.

“M-mom” babbled Luke.

She smiled.

---------

Joseph watched at his son surprised.

“You’re a disgrace. WHY YOU DID THIS TO US?”

“Joseph, Joey had enough for today!!! He’s like he wants to be… He’s an adult. Yeah, make that someone cheat on to his couple it’s questionable… But he’s happy thanks to John. Let to your son to be happy!”

Joe hugged to his mother, crying.

“Thank you mom. I love you.”

--------

John was in an hotel room, drinking and smoking a lot, thinking in how his life changed suddenly. He chose to be happy, but that broke his family. He will not see to his youngest sons like he wants.

“Luke, Cameron… My youngest ones. You gave a reason to live. To smile. And now… your mom will not let me to see you. My happiness costs a lot. It costs you. Sincerely… I haven’t energy to do nothing.”

His depression started to attack again and he didn’t do nothing to stop it.

----------------------------------

February 14th, 1994

February 14th was there. 

Ronnie, still crying. She was so low. Despite that lately her relationship with John wasn’t the best, she was so sad, because she still loved him.

And the radio didn’t helped it at all.

Ronnie then was cooking something. “One less portion, remember Ronnie” talked to herself.

"And now, in the Valentine Special, the Queen's hit "You're my best friend", wrote by John Deacon."

"WHERE ARE THAT JOHN? I miss the sweet John that I knew in 1971…" and she started to cry again, leaving the meal preparation to wipe her tears.

"Remember that he wrote that song inspired in his wife! They're married since 1975! WOW!"

"That's real love people!"

"Since 1975 but until 1994! I'll ask formerly for the divorce soon… So shut the fuck up about real love!" and continued crying.

Ronnie didn't swear a lot, just when she was really upset or sad.

Her kids were in the living, watching some movies, but Laura wanted to eat something before the dinner and saw that reaction of her mother. Yeah, she’s a good spy no?

She entered to the kitchen,  turned off the radio volume and hugged her mom.

Leaving the embrace, Laura said “It’s so bad mum... but if dad’s happy with Joe, you can’t do anything to change his point of view. I don’t know, since that guy entered in our lives he started to smile more. He still loves you, but as the mother of his kids”.

“Laura, how you say that? You were talking with Rob the another day?”

“Yeah. I was so angry for dad. But he helped me to think that you and him will love us forever, but isn’t your time to be together”.

“He tried with me... But, I couldn’t. Sincerely I couldn’t. I can’t to be near to Luke a lot, because sometimes he says “Joe”, and today he said that a lot. He miss to that piece of s-”

“MUM!!! Please, do it at least for us. Don’t do it for dad”

“I can’t promise that I’ll can do it, just that I’ll try”

“That’s enough to me” and hugged her mother again.

Michael enters running to the kitchen.

“MUUUUUM, I was to buy some candies and when I came back, I saw this. And it’s Dad’s handwriting”, giving the envelope to his mother. It said “to Ronnie”

“I WANT CANDIES TOO! exclaimed Laura.

“Kids, go to care Cam and Luke… this is to me. And Mike, give some candies to Laura and your siblings. Not Cameron!”

The youngs left the kitchen.

Ronnie opened the envelope. A letter from her future ex-husband was there.

Dear Ronnie,

Would be hyprocrite to say to you today “Happy Valentine’s Day”, but I wanted to say something before you start the divorce thing. Thank you for being with me and the kids. You helped to build a beautiful family. You were to me almost 20 years, and that’s a lot of time… You’re an important piece of my story. I hope that we can have a friendly relationship for our kids. Also, that one day you can accept to my couple (Joe or anyone else) and we can be in peace.

You deserves to be happy, but I can’t give to you that happiness. I hope you find a reason  to be happy again. Let the sweetness of love wipe the tears of your face… to smile again as you used to do. 

See you in court.

Bye for now, John

Ronnie, letting the letter in the table, said “you still are that kind John that I met. But now, I’m not the owner of your love”.

Turned on the volume of the radio and continued preparing the meal. Meanwhile, she had a lot to think and process.

-----------------------------------------------

Joe was at his room, resting. He hadn’t energies to go to work lately. Plus the lack of auditions didn’t helped at all. 

John knocked the door. Mistress Mazzello was there. 

“Who’s there?”

“John”

“I’ll open the door then.”

She opened the door and closed when the man entered in the house.

“Hi mistress… Joe’s here? I was to the studio and they told me that he didn’t go to work today.”

“Yeah, he’s low. I’m sure that you will make him happy”

“You know about…?”

“Yeah. And you seems a nice boyfriend for my son. My husband still not accept this, but I know that he will do”

“You’re so kind”, said him, smiling a bit.

He started to go to the stairs. Until the left hand of the woman in his left shoulder stopped him.

“Oh, before I forget… I haven’t problems.”

He turned in woman’s direction.

“With?”

“Don’t play dumb John” and she winked an eye and smiled.

He just gave to the woman a wide smile, and he was upstairs.

----

He knocked softly the door. Joe knew that was him.

“Come in” said the redhead. He was laying down sideways in his bed, a king size with a purple blanket.

John closed the door and lay down sideways next to Joe. He gave a little kiss in the neck.

“Happy Valentine my Joey… now I’ll be only yours. Next days, we will start the divorce thing with Ronnie”, he said, caressing Joe’s left shoulder.

Joe’s now sideways but face to face with his lover. A hug. Both crying.

“Happy Valentine my sweet sir. I love you… I didn’t expected your visit. You didn’t called to home, so...”

“I hadn’t energies to do it, but I gathered enough strength to come here... and also to left a letter to Ronnie. I hope she can accept us and she can accept you again… Both were happy together”. Leaving the embrace, John added “You want to have a date with me?”

“Really? The paparazzis…”

“Don’t care.” and he kissed intensely to the redhead.

That passionate kiss woke Joe’s need of that body, of that man, of that hands caressing him, of that lips kissing everywhere...

“Gosh, make me yours right now… I was hungry for your touch” whispered Joe.

The man smiled and continued kissing to the young one.

***************************************

I’ll post last chapter also today!! Don’t forget reblog if you liked this!! Remember that soon I’ll post a masterlist of this little AU <3

-Lily

[human-nonsense]

Chapter 1 of my WIP

Hey looking I'm being a writeblr lol. So I've posted parts of this chapter before but this will be the full chapter. its definitely not perfect (its like a slightly edited first draft lol) but I tried lol. I appreciate anyone who reads this! Hope you enjoy <3 <3 <3 

Tagging @marvel-and-writing @northofnowhere4 @kaz3313 @cassandra-yannu-writes and I’ll tag you @kiki-thelocal-farmhoe even though you read it already ajkdjjfhakjhf 

Paige had asked me not to follow him that morning. I lasted not even five minutes before I grabbed my cloak, projected out of our realm, and make my way toward the Earth against his wishes. He honestly should have known better than to ask such a thing of me, especially today, but I think he was so much of a nervous wreck when he left that my role in all of this must have slipped his mind. Probably.  

As I traveled through the space between Earth and my home, a small ring of blue appeared in front of me. Without hesitation I reached out and pulled the sides until it grew big enough for me to step through it. With my feet hitting the soft ground the smell of grass filled my nose and I smiled. It’s been a while, I’ve missed you.

Then the smell of cattle and shit reached me, and my face cringed a bit. I blinked a few times as the portal disappeared behind me and the sunlight blinded my eyes. The shapes around me cleared and I found myself standing in a field among 20 to 30 black and brown cows. Their brown eyes were all on me, and I raised my hands in surrender.

“Hello darlings, it seems I’m in the wrong place. Any of you know where Mistwood is?” One particular cow made a muffled mooing sound before completely turning her backside toward me.  Ignoring my question, she ripped at the grass below her.

“Ok sorry for asking.” I muttered a few curses along with “Rude cow,” as I put my hands down. Treading carefully as I avoided cow waste, I tried my best to look past the cows and off into the horizon in hope of seeing buildings. I can’t be THAT far off...but then again, the Earth is pretty large. I frowned.

 “AYE! Get away from my cows!” I turned around and found an older man shaking a shovel in the air. He was steaming as he paced quickly toward me.

“Who are ya, huh? You trying to steal me cows? Speak thief! I won’t continue to be taken advantage of just cuz you people thing I’m old! You hear me!” I side eye the cow that had ignored me earlier as I muttered, “As if I’d want your cows.” “What you say!”

“I said I’m lost. Can you help me? I’m trying to get to Mistwood.” By this time, he was now a few feet in front of me. He was shorter than me with a ragged white beard and a small hunch in his back. He dug his shovel a bit into the ground and leaned on it as he studied my face with narrow beady eyes.

“So... you’re not trying to steal me cows? How do I know you’re telling truth huh? I’ve been robbed before, how do I know it wasn’t you who robbed me last time! I’m not dumb! I’m-”

I placed a hand on his shoulder and felt a coolness grow on my palm. My eyes caught contact with his and I smiled. I could feel as the old man’s tense shoulder relaxed in my grip. The shovel slipped from his grasp and landed with a thud on the ground. His eyes gleamed bright for a second before dimming down to their natural brown. I smiled again.

“I promise I have no desire so steal from you. Now can you tell me where Mistwood is?” The old man’s fists clenched and relaxed at his sides. He took a deep breath before he gurgled the back of his throat and spat to the side. I had to hold myself from twisting my face.

His eyes gleamed again as he said, “It’s roughly 200 miles East from here.” I glanced in the direction he was pointing and let go of the old man. East? Oh that’s right, I forgot that’s the new north. Who was the dumbass who switched those around? It wasn’t me was it?

The old man shook his head a bit. He probably felt the usual groggy and confused, but I didn’t have the time to explain to him what I did or say that I was sorry. I could always come back and do that. I could even give him a cow or something. Better yet I could deal with the people stealing from him, but for now I had to find Paige. I hope I find him before he finds her.

I was already making my way through the cows, my eyes peeled for their crap, by the time I heard his voice again. “Aye, wait! Wait one second young lady, what was... I feel... WAIT!” Now outside of the herd, I turned to face him as I continued to walk steadily backwards. “Yes?” Struggling to keep up he asked, “You’re not gonna walk all the way there are you? It will take days and you got nothing with you. What kind of traveler travels without supplies huh? Are you sure you’re not up to something bad like stealing-”

A large blue ring of energy burst open behind me stopping him in his tracks. “Of course not, thank you for your time Jaymes. May our paths cross again another day...or something.”  I stepped back into the portal and I watched as his eyes grew wide. His mouth hung open as the ring closed around me. Before the portal completely closed, I popped my head out and quickly told him, “And good luck with the cows and the harvest. Remember not to drown your plants that what got you in trouble last year, ok bye”

I vanished with a pop. The words “how did you...” echoed in the distance as I made my way toward Mistwood.  I was careful not to arrive anywhere crowded, I did not need to freak out a crowd and create a whole mob today. Some Earth Humans may know about magic but not all of them. And as for the few who practice it, their abilities could never compare to what Paige and I could do.

I peeked through the small ring to check if the area was clear before stepping into an empty alley. I took a moment to rest against the brick wall that ran down most of one side. Those portals really do a number on me, especially when I miss. With my eyes closed and my back against the wall, I blindly padded down the various pockets hidden within my black button-down vest. It took me a second but I final took out a light blue cloth out of a pocket of my navy-blue britches. The cloth was long enough to tie around my face up to my nose, which I did.  I waved my hand slowly across my face and the cloth glimmered as it changed into a dark mask.

The mask waved and shimmered giving it the illusion that it was made from fluid water like shadows. I use this technique usually to make sure my face will be covered no matter what lighting I may walk through, but also, well, because I thought it was cool. It covered everything except my eyes. Finally, I got off the wall and put the hood of my cloak up to hide the rest of my head from sight. Not wasting anymore time I paced out of the alley and on to the semi crowded sidewalk.

I think I blended in with crowd well enough? My clothes were definitely not as flashy or bright as they could be, but they were nice.  I got a few glances no doubt due to the speed I was walking and the fact I was just slightly pushing past some of them. Not too hard of course, I don’t need to accidently break one of them or something. Oh that would be the last thing I need today, another headache to explain to Paige.  

“Hey what’s the rush huh!” I briefly turned back to give the slow man I had bumped past a look. He spilled a bit of the drink gripped in his hand as he jumped back, practically out of his skin.

“Ahh sor- sorry.” He stuttered before I turned back and kept walking. I’m going to take it that my eyes are really red right now if I freaked him out that badly. On a less stressful occasion I probably would have enjoyed messing with an Earth human, just a tiny bit, but my thoughts of Paige pushed any thought of fun out of my mind.

There was no telling where he could be, the city of Miswood was a very large, busy, and modernized city that he could literally be three steps behind me, and I’d probably never know. So instead of search for Paige I decide to head straight for the hospital I knew would be his end destination.

The place, unfortunately, was a building he has visited many times before, but today would be a different kind of visit if everything went according to plan. I have been to Mistwood’s Hospital of the Sun many times too for various reasons, so I knew my way well. It seems that Paige and I are often...needed in those sorts of places.

After a block I decided to just run for it. With every step I was cursing out my portals. A few lifetimes of practicing and I still can’t do the stupid things right 100% of the time. They’re just weird to me and so hard to navigate in that you basically have to guess when to step out unless you’re constantly peak out all the time. I am not afraid to admit I get lost...a lot, and that’s why I’m running because I don’t want to try again and accidently end up in another city like an idiot.

Maybe my frustration blinded me or I was too busy keeping myself from wheezing too loudly, but I completely ran past him before I registered his existence in the corner of my eye. Skidding to a stop, I took a few steps back and saw a pacing Paige mumbling loudly to himself back and forth farther into the alleyway next to me. His hands covered his masked shaking face as he said to himself, “I can’t do this, I just can’t! It will be one big mess!”

My attention being solely on him I gloriously rammed the side of my hip and leg into a metal trash bin on my right while I was making my way toward him. I grunted and cursed, grabbing at my side as the metal bin crashed with a loud CLUNK on the floor before spilling most of its contents between the two of us. Paige’s head snapped my direction. The air around us picked up and cooled to the point we could faintly see each other’s breathes. In seconds it warmed as the air calmed the moment he recognized me.      

“Greenwood?” He whispered. His hands were slightly shaking and his eyes wouldn’t meet mine. Rubbing my side and giving a frustrated kick at the bin below, I made my way closer to him. “Paige, what are you doing here? You’re supposed to be­-”

“I know!” he interrupted loudly before quickly covering the part of his mask where his mouth would have been.  He waved the same shaking hand over his face and his dark shadowy mask similar to mine vanished into a small white cloth. Still not meeting my gaze he pulled the cloth down to his neck before running the same hand through his brown hair.  

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have...I shouldn’t of... I’m just...” sighing he started again. “I’m scared. Of what she will think of me. I don’t know how much she might remember and... it’s hard. So I panicked half way and I just...” he gestured the alley around him. I waved my mask off and pulled the cloth down. I was close enough now that I could reach out and touch him so I placed a hand on his shoulder. He kept his head down so I cocked my head to the side to try and met his gaze.

“Hey, I know what you mean. The closer I get to her... the more terrified I feel.” His eyes finally glanced up to me. “You have no reason to be afraid. She’ll love you if we can do this right but me...” I placed my other hand on his other shoulder as I smiled at him. “Exactly Paige! If we do this right she will... we will have another chance to make things right. To make it up to her.”

Paige was quiet as his icy eyes searched my now blues ones, considering the conversation. A small grin made his way across his face.

“You’re not trying to use some magic shit on me now are you?” I laughed before letting him go. “Me? Of course not, though I did have to do some to get here.” “You didn’t use the trees?” “I...didn’t think about it to be honest. I wasn’t thinking straight and I got just a bit lost, but I’m here so what does it matter, right?” He shook his head, his grin not leaving him.

“I thought I asked you to stay put?” “Can you really blame me! I mean what would you have done if our roles were reversed, huh?” “Not far from the same thing.” His grin fades as the daunting weight of his task fell on his shoulders once more.

Twisting one of my fingers in front of me, I continued. “And now that I’m here, I can help.” He looked down, his eyes glancing at his sword. “It’s still mostly up to me though.” “That’s true. I can’t do this for you, I know that, but I can walk with you, yeah? And when we’re there, I promise I won’t be far.”

I gave him my best smile and he gave a short laugh. Nodding he answered quietly, “You never are.”

He looked off to the side in a daze. His hands were shaking a bit less now, however one of them was grasping the shiny silver sword at his hip tightly. Blinking out of his daze he looked at his sword again and slowly nodded his head. I watched him intently, as old memories resurfaced no doubt in both of our minds.

At last he said, “I made a promise to try didn’t I. So try I will. For her.” He looked my way and I gave him a nod. “For her.”

Paige took a deep breath before placing his palm on his chest. “What color should we be then?” I thought about it for second before answering, “I don’t think there’s many Ohpan humans this down south so... Ralodan?” He nodded his agreement and I put my own hand on my chest. Together we said,

The true form of the universe is unknown

It is hidden within a color we can not see  

Just like I wish to be

Make me Ralodan

           As our final words left our lips, a white light extended from our hand. The light beamed bright as it expanded from our chests causing the parts of us the light touched to disappear. In a matter of seconds, we were completely gone, or at least we would appear to be among the Earth Humans. They wouldn’t be able to see or hear our footsteps. As long as we kept our mouths shut and hands to ourselves it will seem like we don’t exist at all. We gave each other a once over to make sure we were completely covered before I lead us out of the alley way.

Neither of us walked with much of a hurry. I could only guess Paige was trying to stall as much as I was. Though my face felt emotionless my hands could not stop twisting in front of me. Just thinking about where we were heading made my stomach drop and my heart beat a bit faster. Paige though calmer, was still gripping his sword tightly and his shoulders were tense with stress. I looked away from him and smiled to myself. I guess we’re still just as human as anyone else huh...

I crashed into Paige’s backside, my distracted mind not realizing he had stopped. I whispered my apologies, but he didn’t pay me any mind. His eyes instead were glued on the towering hospital a block in front of us.

For a second I thought he might run away. He was paler than before and wouldn’t look away from building and I was prepared to catch him if he did decide to flee. However, he only put his hands in the pockets of his old black leather jacket before walking ahead of me. I took a moment to watch him and look up at the rows of windows higher above. I wonder which one’s hers...I thought, instantly making my stomach drop again. With a hand pressed to my gut I followed behind him.

No one paid us any mind as we entered the hospital. The waiting area was full of buzzing people rushing here and there. Some of them I recognized as doctors and alchemists due to their orange, red robes that had a large symbol of the sun on their backs. Paige and I had to be patient and observant enough to stay out of people’s ways. This made catching up to Paige to be a bit of a struggle but hey like I promised him, I wasn’t far off.  

In the middle of the hospital stood four large blocks of wooded lifts that were each separated by maybe a couple feet of marble flooring. Each lift had four poles to hold up a thin roof that was decorated with silver sun symbols on the top. Large silver chains were attached to each corner of each lift. With my eyes I followed the chains up the seven levels of the hospital all the way to the clear glass roof that allowed the sun to beam directly on the lifts and then some.

I watched with a proud smile as the symbols of one of the full lifts glowed red and the chains began to rattle. Up it went, faster than one would expect just looking at the weight it carried, but the power of the sun is a strong force. A joy filled me. Using the power of the sun took the humans millions of years to figure out and only a few thousands to relearn it, I was proud of them.

As Paige and I carefully dodged and maneuvered through the people we soon were able to reach the lifts. Paige managed to get on one with ease while I had to jump desperately reaching out for one of the poles as the lift left the ground. With the machines speed I only managed to grab the bottom of the pole. I felt my legs dangle down below and I willed myself not to look down. Silent as I could be, I pulled myself up and looked at Paige. I narrowed my eyes at the grinning face he did not try to hide. I gave him a very colorful gesture before gripping the pole tightly as the lift buckled to a stop.

There were three people being carried on a cot on the lift, two stronger looking individuals were at both ends of each one trying to keep the cot steady. These cots took up most of the space. A few clusters of families stood here and there with doctors in between them attending to the patents. As a cot and company made their way off the lift, a larger crowd of people took their places. The new flow of people pushed Paige and I tightly to the corners of the lift to the point we were both standing on the outside of the poles. The tips my feet barely stood on each side of the pole with the back of my feet touched nothing but air as a small family inched its way closer to me.

My stomach swirled as the lift buckled to life and I felt the absence of floor below me. Against my better judgement I glanced down just as the lift zipped upward. A sharp curse left my lips as my stomach dropped at the sight of the long-tilted drop below me. I closed my eyes and pressed my head on the pole as I tried to forget the image. It filled me with only a little bit of peace to know the marble floor did have an enchantment placed on it to make sure no one could fall to their deaths. Don’t ask how I know that.

I open my eyes briefly and a small child that belonged to the family in front of me was scanning his eyes my direction.

Well shit. Paige was watching quietly to my left. He had more room than I did with both feet standing firmly on the floor. I didn’t know what much he could do if anything.

Just looking at him all I could tell the child was eight and named Kelith. While glancing around for my voice, his curious eyes lingered on my face for a few seconds. I held my breath. His gazed moved on yet a frozen state took me as he reached out toward me with his small hand. I sucked my stomach in the closer he got. My heart thundered in my chests as thoughts reminded me of the open air behind my back. Shoo! Shoo! Please don’t make me have to drop and get another lift! Please Kelith! Mind your business!    

His small hand touched the pole a few inches below my hands as the lift came to another stop. His family, who were more concerned with their fallen family member then any sound I made, trailed a few doctors and a cot off the lift and onto the fifth level of the hospital. The child not wanting to be left behind followed quickly behind them giving me the opportunity to breath.  

Seconds after making are way up again I hear the taunting voice of Paige say, “That could’ve gone worse. I do wonder what you would’ve done if he had found you out.”  Glancing around the lift I found the lift to be a lot emptier than it had started out with. “I wasn’t about to fight an eight-year-old if that helps. Even if it was tempting.” He smiled and opened his mouth to answer only to close it into a thin line when the lift stopped for the final time.

A hand brushed over Paige’s paling face and through his hair.  “This is her floor isn’t?” I heard no answer. Light blue eyes were hazed in thought as they stared down the hallway before us. I glanced past him and watched the last cot getting situated to step off before looking back at Paige. Placing my hand on his shoulder I found tension there. Faint droplets of sweat adorned his forehead. The cot was halfway off the lift by now.

“Come on Paige.” There was pause of continuing silence. Before I could consider trying to drag him off, he nodded and walked forward. I followed behind and heard the rattling sound of the chain coming to life as my feet meet marble.

My eyes never left him as we continued through the hallway. Watching his stiff and uncomfortable presences made my mind fill with its own fair share of nervousness. Each quiet step we took, each stressed doctor holding files of paper rushing to some unknown room, each pained patient I caught glances of through windows and doorways... I wanted to bolt back home. I wasn’t ready to face her. I was a brave coward, I guess we both were. Brave enough to keep going but so much of a coward that I regret how far we’ve come. Then we turned a corner, Paige slowly stopped and that’s when I could hear a heart beating. I couldn’t tell if it was mine, but it echoed distantly as Paige turned back to finally look at me.

He leaned in closer as he whispered, “We’re a bit early, the morning nurse is still with her.” My eyes glanced against my will to the small window of the room to my right. That heartbeat returned stronger than before to only quieting down as only the light orange robes of the nurse filled my view.

I looked back at Paige just as he was recreating his mask. Instead of the shadowy void that we had worn before was now a simple polished blue porcelain half mask. The door clicked open and out stepped the nurse between us oblivious to our presences. I gently caught the door inches before it clicked shut. Paige made sure the nurse had made it down the hall before speaking again. The white of the walls, the emptiness of it all made it feel like nothing else existed, only this hallway, this room, me, Paige, and…

A weight filled my chest. I didn’t know how I was going to be able to walk through this door and face her if the thought of her alone made me anxious.

“Will you come in with me?” whispered Paige, his eyes practically begging me to say yes. I nodded. He relaxed just a bit.

“But I’ll stay like this, I don’t want to be seen just in case she remembers me.” “You know there’s only a small chance of that.” “But if she sees us both it will increase the chances. I don’t want to risk it. It will be too much for her if she remembers us both.”

Paige fiddled with the zipper on his jacket. “You’re right… I just think she would prefer to see your face over mine.” He places his hand on his chest and softly chanting,

I am of the Earth and the Sea

And of the space between all things

Let me be seen

Like before a white light beamed from his hand and traveled the extent of his body as it dispelled the color Ralodan that had covered his former self.  

He took a deep breath before facing me. “Where do you think I should start?” That question had a million answers. Over the last couple of centuries, it has haunted every quiet moment I’ve ever had, yet I still had no for sure answer even now that the question mattered.

“I…I can’t tell you that, but I do know not to start at the beginning. Maybe instead start with the chapter before that.” Paige nodded. He managed to take a step towards the door before I grabbed his shoulder, stopping him.

“Hey everything will work out, yeah? I know you can do this Paige.” His tensed shoulders relaxed only slightly. “I don’t think you have enough energy to magic my stress a way Greenwood.” “It was worth a try.” He patted the top of my head before pushing the door open and making his way into the room. I shook the nervousness out of my hands quickly before following right behind him.

I could not help by smile the second I saw her. There she was, after so long, she was now only a couple feet in front of me, of us. She was young, only 21 years old. Her dark blue eyes were a bright contrast against her light skin and the dark bags that laid beneath them. Her dark hair was a mess that came to her shoulders. The girl was pale and sweaty. She coughed and closed her eyes as she rubbed her chest. I thought she would pass out, but her droopy eyes reluctantly opened again. Almost like coughing drained her of all her energy. Like she was wasting away like an old woman laying in her death bed. My heart ached just looking at her.

Spread out on her bed were varies pieces of paper, pencils and pens. A pair of scissors was lazily grasped in her hands. She must have been doing some sort of crafts, as best as I could tell. At first, she didn’t notice us when we walked in. Her focused gaze was toward the large window to her left. I managed to catch a glance of the small birds that were chirping and dancing right outside the glass before the door closed with a click behind me. Hearing the door, she blinked out of her thoughts and turned our way.

A small sharp gasped escaped her, stopping Paige in his tracks. She turned her head in confusion as she studied him. Paige took another step and the girl moved back in her bed away from him.  

“You…who are you?” she managed to whisper.  A tense Paige took another small step towards her. The girl gripped her scissors a bit tighter in her gasps. I put an arm out in front of Paige to stop him from getting any closer. He didn’t look at me but as I quietly made my way away from him, he didn’t move a muscle.  

 “Hannah, I’m not here to hurt you. I-” “You know my name?”

Do you ever have that moment when look at someone and their face and very existence makes you so angry you could just punch them in the face then and there? Do you know that feeling? Well, I watched as the slightly fearful, yet curious look on Hannah’s face twisted to burning rage seconds after hearing Paige’s voice and I knew that moment was happening now. Her blue eyes burned dark. Her whole body started shaking, I thought she was going to explode. She had changed so much from the sick weak girl she had seemed that I took a few cautious steps away from the two of them and toward the window.

“That voice... where do I know that voice.” She said through strained teeth. My eyes grew wide. I looked at Paige and he was already looking at me. I could tell the same thought was running through our minds. She remembers.

“Why do I know your name! Tell me who you are! Or get out!” Goosebumps appeared on my arms as a dark and heavy energy creeped its way through the room. It felt warm. I could see it seeping out of Hannah as her anger grew. I looked at Paige and he was pale and sweating.

Desperately he pleaded, “Wait! Please hear me out. I’m here for you. I’m here to-” “Here to kill me.” Her voice was dead cold. I was worried now. I needed to do something but what could I do? If I reveal myself and she recognized me there was no telling if that would make things better or worse.

“What? No! I just-” Hannah threw a pillow and Paige took it right in the face. “Get out! NOW!” Paige gave me a pleading looking as he clutched the pillow like a shield between him and Hannah. I gestured with my hands something that said “What do want me to do? I’m trying to not be known!”

 Trying again Paige pleaded, “Look, look, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you-” Hannah wasn’t listening though. She instead was seconds away from pressing the emergency button on the side of her bed. Paige noticed and clicked his fingers. A blast of air covered the room just as her hand slammed on the frozen button. A shiver went down my spine. The air was noticeable cooler than it had been a moment before. It did not mix well with the heavy heat of Hannah’s rage creating an almost humid feeling to the room.

Hannah hit the button several times, but it wouldn’t move. Grunting in frustration, her eyes zoomed around the room and stopped as they met the window. The birds were there only they were still, frozen in flight. She snapped her head to Paige making him raise his hands in surrender.  

“What did you do!” she yelled. Paige was backing away now, the energy was crawling toward Paige and I had no idea what to do. “You were going to call for help and I panicked, I’m sorry! I here to-”

The dark energy blasted in all directions in the room. I raised my hand to block the blast. BOOM. I felt small thuds hit my back as the window behind me exploded. Hannah screamed in surprised. I held in a curse as I looked back and saw half the window now across the floor as glittery shards. Looking back at Hannah her eyes were wide and scared. She can still do magic? Oh fuck.

“Hannah…” The girl snapped her head at Paige. She was still shaking but now more out of fear and bewilderment than anger.

“You did that.” “No-” “Yes you did! You are here to kill me. I can feel it in here.” She pointed to her chest. “It’s my time, right? That’s why you’re here right! I can feel it. Every day I’m worse and no one knows how to make me better!” Tears were glittering her cheeks. Her fists were shaking, and her jaws was strained.  

“But I won’t just die without a fight.”  Gripping her scissors, in a flash she threw the blanket off her, stormed off the bed and headed straight for Paige. Reacting on instinct I grabbed the girl around her waist, stopping her in her tracks. Let’s be honest here, I doubt she could do much to hurt Paige, but she was angry, confused, armed, and just exploded a window so I was not underestimating her right now. 

“Stop it!” She yelled at Paige, unaware that holding her back was not his doing but mine.

I gave Paige a look that’s said, “Do something!” as she fought against my grip. I was carful not to breath on her but considering her mind set she didn’t noticed it was a person holding her back and not magic.

She was wild. I ducked just in time to avoid an elbow to the face.  I couldn’t even calmer down if I tried. I needed to look in her eyes for that. But she was still sick so deeper breathes were soon following her fighting.  Paige was clutching his sword as he looked at me with wide eyes. The heavy energy of the room was trying desperately to reach him, but he forced it awake with a flick of his hand. I could physically see the clockwork crank in his mind. He ran his hand through his hair quickly before unsheathed his sword, raised it above his head and slowly got down to one knee before Hannah.

I almost gasped but held it back. There were only a few beings in this world Paige kneeled too, one of them was me, and the others were being greater than the both of us combined. He really is serious about making amends…

Keeping his head down he pleaded, “Hannah, I promise you I’m not here to hurt you. I’m here to help.”

“Help! Help me how? By ending me!” Still fighting to get free she laughed at the idea. “I know what’s wrong with you! Why you’re sick all!” Hannah stilled in my arms. I could feel her anger cool just the slightest. She stared at him for a long time before she finally asked, “You do?” Paige slowly nodded. “You’re lying! No doctor can figure it out, so how is it you know what’s wrong with me?”

“Because I know more than any doctor will ever know. I know every illness, every poison on this planet and the next. That’s why I’m here, I…” He looked up at Hannah. “I know how to heal you.”

Hannah was still shaking but was leaning more against me now. The longer she stood in my arms the more she seemed to rely on me to stand. The warm heavy energy recoiled toward her as it died down. She was sweating and tired but trying her hardest to not show her weakness to Paige.

“I don’t trust you! I just look at you and I… you can’t only be here to heal me, can you? I know you’re here because I’m dying. I can feel it, but…that’s not the only reason why I go so angry is it? There’s something else behind that anger.” She placed a hand on her chest. Gently he answered, “You’re right. While most people don’t like me and react to my presence in all sorts of ways, you are the first on instinct to be filled with a…justified rage.”

Hannah stared at him as she caught her breathe.  “So, you are who I think you are then.” “Maybe. I am, well, a lot of things.” Hannah narrowed her eyes. “Then explain it.” Paige slowly stood. “I will. I promise. But first I need you to listen to a story of mine.”  

There was a silent pause that echoed through the room. Paige opened his mouth to say more but Hannah beat him to it.

“A story? Why would I want that!” “Because I promise you the story will explain everything I am. It will explain the true reason behind your anger, why you are dying, and most importantly how you can heal. Please. Just give me one chance.” Hannah was silent. I noticed her head turning a bit as she looked at the birds again. Their frozen state was unchanged. She looked back at him.

“I still don’t trust you. The worst part is I feel like…like I know you.”

“I promise to explain everything. You deserve it.” Hannah gave a reluctant sighed.  

“Fine. But you have to promise not to do anything weird.” She gestured to herself, the frozen birds and exploded window. “Well technically I didn’t destroy the wind-” “Secondly I get to keep your sword until you’re done.” Without much hesitation Paige agreed and offered her his hand.

I finally let go of her and took silent steps away from the two of them, watching them intently. Hannah hesitated, eying him carefully before gripping his hand. Small streams of light danced as they encircled their hands. Hannah watched with eyes wide open.

“I thought I told you not to do anything weird!” “Don’t worry, it’s just magic. These lights will make sure I keep my promises.” Hannah pulled her hand away once they died down.  

“What’s magic?”

Paige relaxed just the slightest at the sound of her calmer voice. He sheathed the blade, untied some strings and offered the sword, scabbard and all to Hannah. As she took it and slowly backed up into her bed, Paige answered her question in the most annoying way possible.

“How do you not know what magic is?” Hannah narrowed her eyes. Paige rubbed the back of his neck and apologized.  

“Whatever, I get it. Magic is the source of your weird shit. Now, will this take long?” Paige took a moment to think. “Probably.” Hannah did not look pleased by that answer. Placing Paige’s sword in her lap she gripped the hilt. Paige cleared his throat as I made my way closer to Hannah’s side.

“You know there once was a time when all humans in the world could do the ‘weird shit’ all the time.” Hannah raised her eyebrow in disbelief. “It’s true. The Earth is full of all kinds of chapters filled with all kinds of people. In one chapter the humans wielded magic like it was an extension of their own bodies. And in another their magic was stripped away from them. My favorite I think is the story of how humans go their magic back.”

“That’s great. How does any of this help me?” Ignoring her question Paige absent minded said to himself. “I think I’ll start with Bruno.” Confused Hannah asked, “Bruno? Who is that?” Paige smiled under his mask making his eyes brighten a bit.

“He was a young man. He lived when the old countries use to separate the world. I don’t know a lot of his story, but I do know he was… there.” Hannah raised an eyebrow. “Where is there?” Paige clasped his hands together. His eyes were cloudy like he was lost in his thoughts. He looked at me, his light eyes swirling with white energy as he answered “He was there when the planet broke apart. He was there when the humans, their ancient countries and kingdoms finally fell to pieces.    

[jenniferdiazisatransgirl]

A Platform

So yesterday as you guys know a TERF blog took screenshots of myself and other trans women without our consent and posted these on the internet calling us “transwomen” in quotation marks, making out we were faking being trans and saying “you can smell the XY chromosomes from here”.

I interacted with this blog to say how disgusting I thought her actions were and the typical rhetoric of we only transition because we like dresses and make-up came out. She also claimed I have never experienced misogyny or being suffocated by the patriarchy. I decided to take this opportunity to try and educate her, but while completely skipping over the clear examples of misogyny I have faced, she then moved onto the science backing up trans people claiming it had “already been debunked”. Given there was only just something in the news recently, clearly not true but at this point it became evident I was wasting my breath and I proceeded to block her.

Now some of you said I should have just blocked her in the first place, which in the past I would have done but over the past 2 years you guys have given me quite the platform by following this blog. I have the ability to reach quite a lot of people via what I post here. And standing back and letting this person attack people who might not have this same platform, who might only just be building their confidence - it was sad to see in some of those post the women had put stuff like “finally feeling happy about my appearance” - and then them being shot down like that. It feels wrong to sit back and ignore it.

And I’m a big believer in education, I won’t automatically block a person if I feel like I could maybe educate them. This is not my first time interacting with TERF and over the years I have one actual success. A long time ago, I entered a discussion with a twitter user who was attacking Laura Jane Grace of Against Me! and while in the end this person still remained TERF, we manage to come to an agreement that we were all victims of the same system of oppression. That trans people and cis women both suffered from that same system of oppression. It would be nice if they would have dropped the TERF ideology completely, but the fact that we found a common ground and she even in the end recognised that trans people suffer from this same system of oppression that cis women do felt like a break through.

And while I have only ever made this break through once, I feel that as long as a person seems somewhat receptive, I will always try and educate and try to push towards finding that common ground. And while some you say, “But Lily, in the end that person still remained TERF.” I have this to say;

Yesterday, as you guys saw, the user on tumblr had a very different response, there was no common ground to find. They had this absolute dismissal that trans people suffer any form of oppression and with most members of TERF this is the driving ideology. Trans people don’t suffer from the patriarchy, we are enforcers and spies. We don’t suffer from misogyny, we are perpertrators. And somehow, when we transition, somehow trans women seem to hold onto their male privilege which seriously? Lets pretend trans women are men, for the sake of argument. According to TERF rhetoric, the patriarchy means that all people have to stick to their assigned gender norms, so it seems hard to believe that a trans woman in a dress, being by TERF logic, a man challenging those gender norms the patriarchy enforces would be held up as some hero of the patriarchy and not suffer from its wrath by having their male privilege stripped. And of course, as we know, even if trans women grow up with male privilege, the second we transition we lose it. Plus, growing up I find it hard to see what male privilege I had, as I was either too feminine to fit the patriarchial ideals of what it meant to be male. And if and when I was perceived as your typical cis male, that person was going by the stereotypes that I was about to punch or rob them.

I don’t exactly consider the latter of people fearing me, a “privilege” and not to mention it is another example of the patriarchy not just impacting how trans women are viewed but how cis men are viewed.

And I’m gonna start bringing this to a close, but someone also mentioned how polite and civil I was yesterday in my discourse. As trans women we are always caught in this weird conflicting perception within TERF ideology. If we are docile, subserviant and civil we are upholding the patriarchial ideals of what it means to be a woman but then if we show any sign of anger or aggression, it is treated like automatic proof that trans women are just men.

And I was going to leave it here, but within all this is the group that often gets forgotten in the TERF ideology or who are treated as docile and innocent victims of the “trans bandwagon”; trans men and over the years I have heard various ways TERF have tried to justify the existance of trans men and they end up being the victims of trans women brainwashing them, I once heard them be called “colateral damage” by a TERF member and to this day I don’t know what she meant by that and in the end they often get dismissed as innocent victims who are too dumb and innocent to realise when the patriarchy might be taking advantage of them. Almost feels like TERF view trans men as docile women which again is projecting yet another patriarchial standard.

And look, while I’m not gonna actively seek out TERF, if anyone from TERF comes to my attention I’m not gonna sit back and let their poisonous ideologies continue. Their ideologies which are in fact the ones which uphold the patriarchy. You guys have given me a platform and I’ll be damned if I am gonna let that platform go to waste and let this shit go ignored.

Yesterday, knowing I have this platform, I actually felt an obligation to fight this shit.

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 411

This week, on Outlander: Claire carries all of the water for Jamie! Lord John can’t decide if he’s dumb and creepy or a cool dude! Roger is still my designated tea refill break! Bree is back to being the worst! Murgsali remains the best!

It’s week two of my drunk recaps being done while not drunk *shakes fist at the concept of Dry January* and my willpower is being aggressively tested.

I hate this fake-out with Roger as much as I hate the fake-out in ep. 1x03 with Claire and Mrs. Fitz.

Are we going to get Roger back at the stones and his decision to stay and him being recaptured and stuff next week? Or are we just going to pick back up at the village and we just need to fill all that in ourselves? Tbh, I almost would have preferred Roger just not being in this episode...

Oh the title card... Bree is suddenly now a great artist! (Seriously, how the fuck did she never draw Roger at any point before Rogergate happened?! Like, cool if you don’t want to share who raped you, literally this whole thing could have been avoided without sharing that tidbit if Jamie KNEW WHAT ROGER LOOKED LIKE. Oh, thanks for the heads up, Lizzie, but it turns out that the guy you saw is Bree’s boyfiend. I punched him for leaving her, but it turns out he’s just a dick, not a rapist.) (Second week in a row that I’ve made that typo. It’s like even my subconscious doesn’t like Roger.)

And Bree loves drawing the enslaved people on her great-aunt’s plantation! Which she apparently is totally cool with!

Also, Bree says Aunt wrong. It’s a minor thing but one that is driving me up a fucking wall every time she says it. (People in Massachusetts say it like Ahnt, not Ant.)

Geez, Lizzie, Bree doesn’t need to easily forgive Jamie. Jamie doesn’t deserve to be easily forgiven. Honestly, Lizzie is the least to blame for this whole fiasco. She saw a dude being rough with Bree and then the next time she saw Bree was post-rape. Jamie was a complete prick to Bree, beat the shit out of a random guy without letting him get a word in edgewise and had his nephew get rid of him. And then didn’t fucking tell Claire, who probably would have put two and two together, about it. Fuck that guy.

I simultaneously can’t believe and 1000% can believe they read this shit heap of a story line and were like “Yep, this is great stuff! Let’s definitely spend half a season on it!”

ROLLO! THE GOODEST BOY!

Ugh. Young Ian being like “Oh hey, Auntie Claire, how about you go do the emotional labor of making Jamie feel better about being a fucking dumbass!” Hard pass, Ian. Hard fucking pass.

So here for Claire’s “what you *both* thought.” Like yep, Ian, you’re at fault too. I know you love your uncle, but you gave that whole big speech at River Run about being your own man and yada yada, so maybe fucking own your part in this. You didn’t fucking have to sell a guy into fucking slavery. BUT YOU’RE STILL NOT AS MUCH TO BLAME AS JAMIE. FUUUUCK THAT GUY.

Also, Jamie, you dumb fuck. You should have been fucking groveling by now. You get no points for keeping your distance. Nut up and mea culpa the shit out of this situation.

Honestly, if they wanted to make the show just about Fersali and Murtz, at this point I’d be totally on board.

Wait, so Fergus has been unemployed this whole time? How the fuck have they been living for the past year then? What happened to his job at the printer? I have so many questions...

So Bree, who grew up in civil rights era Boston and had a Black roommate, is totally just chill about living on a plantation and being waited on by enslaved people? Like, we’re not going to mention this at all? Cool. Cool cool cool.

Also like fucking mother like daughter. She’s like “Oh hey, Phaedre, I’m going to draw you. Sit there. No, I’m not going to ask if you want to be drawn. Or take into account what Jocasta might do to you because of my decision to make you not be doing what you’re expected to be doing. Like my Mom did with asking you to call her by her first name, I’m just gonna disregard what the consequences might be for you because treating you like this will make me feel better about myself.”

Maria Doyle Kennedy continues to be awesome.

"Sorry! Did I wake ye?” I love Marsali so fucking much.

I really like them giving what was a convo with Jenny and Jamie about Ian in the books to Marsali and Murtagh about Fergus. But man, women do so much of the emotional labor in this fucking episode. Marsali is running a house, caring for a baby and risking having a wanted man sleeping in her kitchen but she also has to like fluff the pillows for Fergus’ feelings.

Yes, I know that spouses should support each other and be there when the other one needs something. But since we see so little of Fersali now, we’re not seeing this as a two way relationship. Just Marsali doing it for Fergus.

That being said, I do think it’s very sweet of Marsali.

“If I wanted him shot, I’d do it myself. And it wouldna be Fergus I’d take aim at first. He doesna put his boots on my blankets.” I just fucking love her so much, y’all.

Does Murtagh know who Marsali is yet though? Does he know about Jamie marrying Laoghaire? Were we robbed of the glorious Murtz reaction we could have had? Le sigh. If I had a drink, I’d pour one out...

Oh hey, Gerald. Is your name going to stay Gerald? Or are you randomly going to start being Neil in a couple seasons?

“Have you been enjoying your time at River Run?” “Yes, I love River Run. I love living with a bunch of racists, benefiting from the enslavement of Black people. I never once bring up how uncomfortable I am, or even look like I’m uncomfortable about the situation. I am not at all morally conflicted about my current situation. Everything is totally cool.”

I raged a lot during ep. 4x02, and honestly that rage all still stands.

Oh hey! John Grey, Lord of Convenient Appearances is back!

Fergus talking to Germain is my everything. “It seems there are some here who do not appreciate your contribution to the cause.” *swoon* I can’t wait for him to teach his lil dude the fine art of pickpocketing...

I LOVE THE FERGUS AND MURTAGH RELATIONSHIP A LOT AND I’M VERY GLAD THEY’RE GETTING SCREEN TIME TOGETHER.

BASICALLY I LOVE MURTAGH’S RELATIONSHIP WITH EVERYONE.

I JUST LOVE MURGSALI OK.

Bree’s like that obnoxious college freshman who comes home on break and is like all insufferable because they took like one intro to psych class and now want to like diagnose everyone they know with random shit.

“Must I close my eyes when you are before me?” “Yes.” Well played, Bree, but I still do not like you at all in this episode.

Man, 18th century tinder fucking sucks.

I know this show isn’t subtle at all, but jfc, they’re like punching us in the face with the judge being gay. 

Bree, Claire and Betty fucking Draper should start a club for women who drink like fish while preggo.

Ok so I’m on board with the convo with LJG and Bree about his vision or whatever, but then it crosses over into creepy later on in the episode.

Can Lizzie please fuck off already? She’s annoying af.

Also, she blurts out that Bree’s pregnant but managed to keep it a secret that Jamie kicked the shit out of a guy for weeks? I’m calling shenanigans on that.

I get that the convo with John and Bree about Jocasta trying to marry off Bree to some rando is supposed to like be clearing up the handfasting is marriage vs. not marriage thing that the show can’t make up its mind about, but it still bugs me, tbh. A lot.

I still am lowkey annoyed that they expect us to be so invested in Roger and Bree when they did like nothing to build up their relationship before it went to shit (both times). Like, you’re lazy when it comes to your characters, show. You’re doing a bad job. If no one is invested in the characters then all the plot in the world won’t make the show good.

The amount this show relies on book readers backfilling shit is absurd.

Jocasta, as a woman and figure in society, is a far more understandable giver of this speech about Bree needing to be married than Jamie, a dude who can have her live with him in his and Claire’s house in fucking bumblenowhere backwoods. But still, WHY DON’T THESE FUCKERS JUST TREAT HER LIKE SHE’S MARRIED. SHE TECHNICALLY IS. SHE’S HANDFAST. WHO GIVES A FUCK IF THERE WEREN’T WITNESSES. NO ONE IN CROSS CREEK KNOWS THAT. PEOPLE WILL JUST ACCEPT WHAT YOU TELL THEM. I HATE THAT ALL THESE FUCKERS WON’T PUT THAT TOGETHER.

Ok, cool that Lord John is getting some action, I’m am 10000% here for him to be happy with a man who actually wants him back instead of creepily pining over Jamie forever. But FFS YOU ARE NOT STUPID. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU BANGING THIS DUDE IN THE GODDAMN HALLWAY?! YOU ARE A VERY CAREFUL PERSON. YOU KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF PEOPLE KNOW YOU’RE GAY. YOU FUCKING GOT SHIPPED OFF TO ARDSMUIR BECAUSE OF RUMORS ABOUT YOU AND HECTOR. YOU ARE SMARTER THAN THIS YOU STUPID FUCKING FUCK.

All that aside, I totally ship John and the judge and they should totally be boyfriends and bang a lot, but FUCKING NOT IN THE GODDAMN HALLWAY OF SOMEONE ELSE’S HOUSE WHEN THEY KNOW THEY LIVE IN A HOMOPHOBIC AF SOCIETY.

Ok, fuck Brianna for this blackmail bullshit. Fuck her so fucking much. She is the literal worst right now. Like are you fucking kidding me, Bree?! You’re garbage. I know this shit is in the book, but fucking christ. It’s bad. Fucking have Bree talk to John like “Look, my aunt is trying to marry me off. That fucking hobbit is going to propose as soon as I go back inside. I don’t want to marry him, you know I’m waiting to see if my parents can find my quasi-husband. Can you please do me a solid and say we’re engaged so people leave me the fuck alone until my parents get back?” We *know* John would say yes to that, because he eventually fucking goes along with it for THAT EXACT FUCKING REASON. SO WHY ARE THEY HAVING FROM-THE-POST-STONEWALL-FUTURE BREE THREATEN A GUY WITH THIS SHIT. SHE KNOWS HOW QUEER FOLKS ARE TREATED IN HER OWN FUCKING TIME, AND THIS IS THE PAST AND THE PAST IS THE FUCKING WORST. FUUUUUUCK HER.

“That sounds like a threat.” BREE, YOU DON’T GET TO BE BUTTHURT ABOUT BEING THREATENED WHEN YOU LITERALLY JUST TOLD A GUY YOU WERE GOING TO RUIN HIS LIFE, YOU ABSOLUTE ASSHOLE.

“I wouldn’t have said a word to anyone. I’d just threaten you with your worst fear. Because I’m a raging asshat.”

It’s creepy af that they’re like talking around John being in love with Jamie. I honestly hate that part of John so fucking much. Like he could be such a great character if they could fucking lay off the him pining over and being weirdly possessive of Jamie shit.

Ok, so with Bree now just telling everyone that it was Bonnet who raped her it’s really coming off that Jamie’s manpain was the *only* reason she didn’t tell anyone but Claire before. Which is so fucked up! She was raped! Fuck Jamie’s manpain! If she wants to tell people, she should fucking tell people! Sorry not sorry, but if you were brutally raped and possibly impregnated by some fucker and you want to let people know who it was because it turns out he’s a fucking sociopath, that fucking trumps “oh, my bio dad might feel icky about it.”

“The union of our families is a blessing to us all. Except for the second someone better comes along. Because omg he’s a *lord*! Bye, Neil. Go have yourself some second breakfast.”

Oh fuck you, Jamie. You don’t get to be butthurt at Claire. Claire didn’t beat the everloving fuck out of some rando at the word of a maid, send him into slavery and then keep it a fucking secret. Also like, why the fuck did he even keep it a secret from Claire?! Why not do what Bree did and tell Claire but have her not tell Bree? And he’s still keeping him asking Murtagh to track Bonnet down from Claire. Seriously, fuck Jamie.

Oh Rollo, this isn’t Terminus. We don’t eat people in this show.

I literalol’ed at them pulling an Everest and using a dead body as a wayfinding tool. Probs not the reaction they were going for.

“He is... very much like his father.” DON’T MAKE IT WEIRD, JOHN.

"Good doesn’t come into it. I love him more than life itself.” I love the convo about loving a kid even if you’re not the bio dad, but this “It’s only new because there is hope.” bullshit while they’re sitting on the FUCKING PORCH OF A PLANTATION, LOOKING OUT AT ENSLAVED PEOPLE WHILE THE REST OF THE FAM IS OFF LOOKING FOR THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE LIVED ON THE LAND FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS, IS SO FUCKING TONE DEAF IT HURTS.

“I was upset, but not with you.” Uh, Claire? YOU SHOULD BE UPSET WITH JAMIE. WHAT THE FUCK. YOU SHOULD ABSOLUTELY BE UPSET WITH JAMIE.

I get Claire’s reasons for not telling Jamie. I think Bree should have told Claire to tell Jamie since it seems like her only hesitation for doing so was Jamie’s #feelings. And I 100000000% think that it makes *zero* sense that she never told Jamie what Roger looks like. But Claire is doing way fucking more than her share of apologizing here. JAMIE IS THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE DOING THE BIG DRAMATIC APOLOGY. THIS IS LIKE 99.7% HIS FUCKING FAULT.

I HATE ROGERGATE SO FUCKING MUCH.

“Frank made plenty of mistakes.” UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE FUCKING CENTURIES, BEAUCHAMP.

Aaaand then they couch it as an “all parents do” thing. BECAUSE OH NO, CAN’T ACKNOWLEDGE THAT HE WAS AN ABUSIVE JACKASS. NOPE. CAN’T DO THAT.

This show is fucking *killing* me with its refusal to make the male characters accountable for their actions. 

And then we get the same sex scene we got in the premiere. Because even though Jamie and Claire get freaky in oh-so-many different ways in the later books, the show has decided that from now on they need to be vanilla and boring. I mean, in the book this bit is described as fierce with blind desperation. I know I always say I want them to deviate from the book, but ffs, I didn’t mean make all the sex the same when the situations and emotional states of the characters when they’re together are very different...

And no, Balfe, I’m not a “horny granny.” (Seriously, fuck her for that comment, tbh. I know what she was probably trying to say, but word choice, Caitriona. It’s fucking important.) I’m not watching this show for the smut. But the core relationship, what’s supposed to be the heart of the show, is now monotonous af. 

Jamie and Claire as characters have always been a couple who express themselves passionately and physically. But now suddenly they’re just like soft af all the time? Where’s the fire? Where’s the spark? You don’t need to have nudity to show passion, show. I’m not asking for a parade of boobs and butts. (If there was contractual stuff involved with that for actors or whatever, more power to them.) But ffs, the show is managing to make me bored with the main fucking ship.

And then Roger gets the shit kicked out of him again and I’m here for it.

Because I still don’t like that guy.

(But seriously, framing the various Native American tribes as the “bad guys” is getting old af.)