#mammon the crow dad

[devildomwriter]

Suspicious Behaviors | Short Story

Lately Mammon had been sneaking out of the House of Lamentation at odd hours. He was missing school. He was carrying around suspicious paper bags. Lucifer was at his wits end with his latest scheme so he followed Mammon and invited you along. Only to discover something rather unexpected.

He was feeding the new baby crows.

Now Lucifer is mad because he accidentally led you to witness something that made Mammon even more endearing to you.

Mammon is sitting there as baby crows hops around on him and he puts birdseed on his head. But the babies can’t reach it and the parents end up dive-bombing his head and he’s knocked over with a scream, spilling the bird food all over him.

He is now covered in crows and screaming. Lucifer sighs and leaves and you take pictures before helping your lovable demon who is swearing you to secrecy.

Mammon claims all the bandages are because he got into a fight and not because the crows accidentally took a few bites out of him. Lucifer shakes his head that Mammon lost a fight to birds.

“Just like Australia,” you declare and he’s more confused.

You advise Mammon he would not survive Australian birds and not to feed the wildlife there.

[journey-to-the-attic]

I've had this AU in my head for ages but I only just got the nerve to submit it lol (long ask ahead, sorry)

Anyway so basically it's like: what if the brothers' fall goes entirely different. This is half serious and half crack? But basically after falling, instead of ending up in the Devildom they land in the human world, in animal forms. So like Lucifer's a peacock, Mammon's a crow, Levi's a snake, Satan's a cat, Asmo's a rabbit, Beel's one of those big dogs that go boof, Belphie's a fox. (I was going to go demonic animal for all of them, but then Beel would be a fly and Satan would be a unicorn which don't exist, and that's tricky to work with lol)

Basically they can communicate with each other but they can't speak like verbally, they can still do simple magic but no demon form transforming. They're just kinda stuck in animal form for some reason.

Ik sees a tattered crow hopping about by the road on her way home from school. It keeps getting startled by the cars but it's not flying away, and it looks really close to getting hit, which she's worried about. So she tries to shoo it away, and the crow stops and looks at her with these big dark eyes and she can't help but feel like it *understands* her when she tells it that it's dangerous by the road.

Next day the crow is there again, and this time it's staying away from the curb, as if it *listened* to her. And for some reasons he can't stop thinking about it... so the next day she buys a little bag of nuts on the way back, and when she sees the crow by the road again she scatters some of them for it, which it seems to appreciate.

Ik feeds the crow for a week before it's already comfortable enough to hop right up to her and wait for its snack. While she's watching it eat, she'll talk to it. After another week it seems to be *looking forward* to seeing her, because it sits on a tree watching the path she takes and visibly perks up when it spots her coming around the corner, and it seems to listen very intently when she's talking. It's like having a best friend.

Then one day the crow follows her home. Ik waves to it when she goes inside and it's gone by morning. And it isn't there in the usual place after school...

Then she gets home and finds the crow waiting on her doorstep. When it spots her it squawks happily and then calls to something. And then six animals that you would NOT expect a crow to be acquainted with emerge from hiding in a bush nearby. Does that dog have a fox AND a snake on its back? Is that a fucking *peacock*?!

Okay. This is weird and definitely not normal. "Are these your friends?" she asks the crow, as if it understands. Then the crow *nods*.

Basically Ik takes in the animal-brothers and takes care of them as best she can in her little house. (Bonus: cut to Diavolo and Barbatos in the Devildom, extremely panicked and confused about where those fallen angels ended up if they're not here)

I've got more thoughts but I'd like to know what you think first hehee

OOOOO I LIKE IT VERY MUCH!! i agree that this is a very half and half au, so let me think about the serious half for a moment...

if this happens directly after the fall, then there's a lot of interesting dialogue coming from the fact that all that war trauma's very fresh... though potentially, they'll all heal from it a lot more healthily, rather than repressing for centuries on end until a kid who cares too much shows up. this time, the kid who cares too much is right there immediately

i reckon the other brothers, especially lucifer and the twins, would be quite standoffish with ik at first. like, they'll acknowledge her help and be grateful for it, but belphie'll snap if she gets too close and lucifer doesn't like being alone in a room with her. but i think satan would latch onto her company quite quick actually - since he's new to, like, existing, and isn't quite sure how to be around his new brothers

mammon of course has decided ik is his new bestest friend ever. part of it is because his brothers are all very sombre and he doesn't know how to handle grief properly, so he's glad to have someone to just goof off with - part of it's because ik's the first face he saw after landing and he's, like, imprinted

(he did see other humans but none stopped long enough for him to get a look at them, and ik's the first one that approached him in good nature)

ik's main concern is not having a lot of room for all these animals, plus letting them get out. levi doesn't wanna anyway, she can be pretending to walk a dog with beel, mammon can just kinda go fly on his own and will look normal, belphie, asmo and satan won't look that out of place outside - the main issue is lucifer, because peacocks are not a normal sight in urban england

she resorts to waiting until the dead of night so that lucifer can get some air and loses a fair amount of sleep over it, and this is part of the reason lucifer starts warming up to her :')

[beelzebuddy-catan]

Vines I think MC references regularly and when they use them:

"Welcome to bible study. We're all children of Jesus. Kumbaya my Lord." - Whenever demons do some fucked up shit.

"Wouldn't you like to know weather magic boy." - When Solomon asks them a question.

"What are those!?" - Whenever they see Mephistopheles, and no, they don't explain it.

"When will you learn that your actions have consequences?!" - When the brothers do something to piss them off and then act like MC should be chill with it.

"Look at all those chickens." - Whenever Mammon's crows roll up. (He gets defensive every time.)

"Can I PLEASE get a waffle?" - When Levi and Mammon get into a fight.

"Wtf is this allowed? Is this allowed?" - When Asmo starts whoring it up.

"He needs some milk!"- When Satan flips a lid.

"I'm a bad bitch you can't kill me." - When a demon could absolutely kill them.

"What's better than this? Guys being dudes." - At every one of Beel's Fangol game.

"You're not my dad! Ugly ass f*cking noodle head." - After Satan yells at Lucifer.

"So, no head?" - When Lucifer dismisses them.

"I want to see my little boy!" - After entering Purgatory Hall, looking for Luke.

"We have to get out of here. I can't. I feel unsafe." - If Solomon brings a dish he made.

[luxthestrange]

Incorrect quotes#953 Ballet Dad

At Amelia's Ballet Recital in the human world, Everyone was there...from angels to demons, reapers amongst the human families, all very excited to see Amelia solo dance...but what they didn't know is...Amelia had a bully who kept pushing her...Mammon taught her a fundamental lesson on how to deal with bullies behind your back-

Mam*Seeing his little princess dance, holding your hand*Fuck me she's cute~

As you and the rest of the family(These guys went all out...with expensive cameras...you had to stop Diavolo and Asmo from bringing an actual camera crew-)

Amelia*Smilling seeing her family, doing little twirls and is about to step into the spotlight...but can see her bully about to push her again*...

Bully*About to push her when*-!?!

Amelia*Grabs her arm and... FLIPS HER OVER HER SHOULDER TO THE GROUND, and goes into the spotlight grinning*!!!~

Families*Gasp in shock seeing that*OH!?-

Mam*Gasps in glee and stands up proudly*HAHAHA!?FUCKING NOICE AMELIA!!!SWEEEET!!!-

Families*Turn to Mammon and at several of Amelia's family clapping alongside Mammon*!?!-

Satan & Belph: WOOOOOOH!

Bully*Still on the ground starring in horror at Amelia*

Asmo*Clapping hard and whistling, smirking at Solomon beside him*That bitch bounced!~

Mc*Covering your face to hide a smile from the crowd*...

Diavolo*Throwing Amelia roses alongside Barbatos and Mephisto*BEAUTIFUL!~

Mam*Looking at the crow around him,feeling proud*-MAN!THATS MY DAUGHTER BITCHES!DAD'S VERY PROUD!!~KEEP GOING!~

Amelia*Shinning her brightest with a smile directed at her daddy, and doing the final pose*!!~

Part 2 of:

[irishmammonagenda]

Types of Dogs I Think The Obey Me Brothers Would Have

Disclaimer: i know nothing about dog breeds other than my dog is better than every other dog in the world because i said so. this is all obviously my opinion because im 100% not holding off looking at my inbox for requests rn 😰

(wee emo anon + réalta and then the other random one ilysm for not doxing me fir being atleast a month late and not having even started with your reqs yet🙏🙏🙏)

post dividers by @saradika-graphics, images of the brothers below the divider are from amias on pinterest + all animal photos found on pinterest

LUCIFER

Irish Wolfhound

He already has a dog who he obviously loves very much (Cerberus) who is a hellhound, so he thought to himself that another hound would be a good idea since Cerberus gets lonely sometimes :(

He calls the dog 'Tuireann' because he thinks he's fucking funny.

You know that stereotype of the dad not wanting the dog but the dad ends up loving the dog like its his own child or something?

If you do know, then you know Lucifer.

Tuireann gets on very well with Cerberus. Lucifer makes a commitment to taking breaks more often and taking both out on walks, which terrifies his brothers, but has made Diavolo very happy with him. (Yay Lucifer taking care of himself for once!)

He cuddles up to both of them more often. Both dogs are very happy.

Will kill for his dogs btw :)

Laughed one time when Tuireann saw Solomon as a threat.

MAMMON

Golden Retriever

Someone told him he could win 'gold' at a casino. So he gambled, ended up winning (for once) and got his 'gold'.

This man was almost outraged when the 'gold' in question was a golden retriever puppy.

He was about to say something in outrage, then the witch plopped the little guy down into his arms and her little nose started sniffing at his exposed collarbone. He closed his open, outraged mouth and pet the little thing, blinking back small tears because it was so cute.

Mammon would like to argue that this did not happen but it did. The witch in question has proof and has sent Lucifer the video in apology for trying to summon him. Said witch is now a good acquaintance of Lucifer's, and has not been punished brutally. She has learnt her lesson and will not attempt to make a pact with the Avatar of Pride ever again. *Unlike Solomon. That bastard never learns.)

Mammon probably calls the dog something like 'Bailey'

He was originally going to call her 'Goldie' but then remembered that was his credit card's name. So he thought about the name 'Retrievie' but even to him that sounded fucking stupid.

He loves this dog so much and buys her so much dog toys and treats.

Gets his crows to play with her.

Mammon basically is a Golden Retriever if you think about it. (A Golden Retriever with mental issues that thinks its an awesome scary dragon or something, but a golden retriever none-the-less.)

He buys Bailey a bed but she literally only sleeps on him or on his bed.

When he lets her out into the garden while he's busy he always has atleast 2 crows watching her/playing with her.

He tries to train her to dig for buried treasure. Instructions unclear, they both dug up the whole back garden. He now has to fix the garden.

They say that a 'Dog is a Man's Best Friend', but this dog is Mammon's whole life.

There is dog hair all over this man. Atleast he's not an emo and doesn't wear all black.

Hair rollers are a must.

He cries when they're separated for more than a day in case you were wondering.

LEVIATHAN

Kokoni

Lucifer gave him it in an attempt to get Levi to touch grass once in a while.

At first Levi was scared of the dog, then he decided she was cute. Watches an anime about a dog and realises he should be a responsible owner and take her out on walks!

Leviathan has now touched grass. I repeat, Leviathan has now touched grass.

Calls her 'Ruri' you know he would.

He almost called her Henry 3.0

He has to make sure Henry 2.0 is unreachable to Ruri. He's scared Ruri might eat Henry 2.0

He's still kind of scared of Ruri but loves her.

Since getting Ruri he's actually been remembering to take care of himself. As a reward, once a month for a day or two, Lucifer will take over taking care of Ruri so Levi can have one of his gaming marathons uninterrupted.

Levi plays the Devildom equivalent to pokemon go while walking Ruri

Levi rants to Ruri about the anime or manga he's currently obessed with while playing with her with some chew toy or something.

She lays beside him in his bathtub sometimes and lays her head on his lap while he watches anime.

Lucifer is very happy with this outcome. So is Levi.

SATAN

Rottweiler

He originally saw something in some article or whatever he read about Rottweilers being aggressive, possibly saying that they weren't a 'good' dog breed.

Satan knows what its like to be labelled as aggressive and unsafe, so he has sort of a soft spot for 'bad' dog breeds.

So one day, he's talking to one of his various acquaintances, and for whatever reason, they visit an animal shelter.

Satan hears another couple say they wouldn't get a dog because 'isn't that breed really aggressive?' and he feels sad, he's not mad at the couple, it's a reasonable concern, but poor dog :(.

He approaches that worker a couple of minutes after his acquaintance leaves and asks them about the rottweiler.

Long story short he walks out with it on a leash, standard food, and a bowl courtesy of the shelter.

Calls the dog 'Julie' because he had just finished pirating a preformance of Romeo and Juliet. (which he enjoyed criticising, but he liked the name Juliet and also Belphie likes the band Julie so)

He makes sure to take the time and effort to socialise Julie with cats because this is Satan we're talking about for fuck's sake.

He takes Julie on walks before stopping at a dog-friendly café in the Devildom.

Julie also sleeps on Satan's lap when she's tired and he's reading.

Satan gets a lot more into audiobooks after he adopts Julie so he can still technically 'read' without having to ignore his new pooch.

Will write several books on why she's the best girl ever, and will make you read them.

ASMODEUS

Westie

A fan gifted him a dog for his birthday for some reason. At first he accepted the gift and devised a plan to give the dog away but the shelter was closed over the weekend, so he elected to let the dog stay with him until then.

Ends up getting attached. This is his baby now.

Calls her 'Angel' because he thinks she's an angel. She also kind of reminds him of Luke so.

This little rat is all over his Devilgram.

So much so there are fanclubs for her now.

This little rat has fanclubs.

Angel gets walked everyday. Asmo loves the excerise and says its done wonders for his skin.

He doesn't like when she digs, but oh well.

Loves grooming her.

Cuddles galore.

He trains her how to do tricks.

His excitable nature really goes well with hers, and they really bond.

The fan that gave her to him is now one of his friends.

He loves that rat.

BEELZEBUB

Bernese Mountain Dog

Two words. 'Gentle Giant'

He probably names her something like 'Bernie'

Bernese Mountain Dogs are massive, I feel like Beel would be the type of guy who loves big dogs. Given how big this Demon is, I feel like he'd be scared of hurting a smaller dog. He probably got an already adult rescue from a shelter.

It was one of those cliche things, meeting eyes with this big sad dog in a cage and Beel just knowing, "This is my baby."

Bernese Mountain Dogs DROOL, and I feel like Beel wouldn't mind that seeing as he is the Avatar of Gluttony.

Speaking of being the Avatar of Gluttony, Beel's dog 100% gives him puppy eyes while he's sitting at the table eating, and what does Beel do? He sneaks his dog food under the table.

Given his workout schedule this doggo gets atleast one walk a day. ATLEAST.

Beel one hundred percent cuddles up with that dog. You thought he had a mental bond with Belphie? Well that man has a mental connection of that caliber with his dog.

He is covered in dog hair but he sees that as making him part of the pact with Bernie so he couldn't care less. (He does clean up shed hair with a roller when going out though)

Bernie might've been a rescue and maybe could've lived a hard life before Beel adopted her, but Beel loves her like she's his own child that is his BABY.

BELPHEGOR

Shiba Inu

It reminded him of Beel, okay??!

Normally Belphie can't be bothered with animals, but when he saw the ad saying 'FOR SALE: NEEDS BETTER HOME' and saw that closed eye Beel smile his grinchy little heart grew three sizes that day.

He adopts the dog.

He calls her something like, 'Bella'

No thats not because it sounds like Beel. Piss off.

Bella isn't too high maintenence and actually does well for Belphie's productivity.

The seventh born actually goes on regular (though albeit) short walks with Bella.

Beel bonds with the dog as well and is very happy to take her on his morning runs with him.

Bella is affectionate but fucking stubborn. (Just like Belphie if you think about it)

Sometimes while cuddling (which only happen on Bella's terms by the way), she will not get off of Belphie, no matter how much Belphie asks. (Not that he minds, its an extra excuse to be lazy)

The cuddling in question is literally just Bella laying on top of Belphie like she's some sort of cat.

Bella is more of a brat than Belphie and thats saying something. The man spoils her.

Finally, a being (other than you and Beel) that understands him.

as you can tell I love big dogs and think small dogs are little rats. (said affectionately)

all of these dogs are female btw bc i got humped by my cousins dog recently and i wish that pain on no one. not even my worst enemy (which is solomon btw)

by the way unhinged anon im still waiting for you to go through with that threat 🤨🤨

[alexxncl]

‼️NIGHTBRINGER LESSON 39 SPOILERS‼️

masterlist | all lessons | season 2 | lesson 38 | lesson 40

this was hilarious until i remember that satan is indeed the avatar of wrath and has destroyed the house of lamentations more tines than i can count on both hands. then it got slightly less hilarious, but it's still hilarious

ik we all joke about lucifer being satan's dad bc he technically is but this is PEAK father-son behavior 😭 satan throwing a temper tantrum, no pun intended, over not being able to adopt a cat is one of the funniest things ever actually

y'all know i love me some angst but dear GOD am i happy that we're getting something lighthearted after the emotional rollercoaster that was lesson 38

also we got our room back hehe 🫶🏽

aaaaand now they back to brothers

"nuh uh" "uh huh" DAMN just let him have the cat 😭

shithead lucifer my beloved 🫶🏽 and it's even more heartwarming bc we can see how much he's relaxed and recovered from the incident in cocytus. him smiling and laughing and joking with his brothers freely after the fear of losing them has finally been dissipated has to be a weight off of his shoulders, and a weight off of his brothers' shoulders, too. he's probably been less of himself since the fall, and this is probably more reminiscent of the lucifer from back in the celestial realm

i hc that mammon's familiars/crows just roam around the house freely, so this is even more frustrating for satan bc he's like "well if mammon can have pets, why can't i?"

oh baby :(((

just when i thought we'd gotten away from the angst, i was reminded that we are (i am) indeed on lesson 39 outta 40...ykw at least i was happy for a little bit

10/10 storytelling and writing. i love it when siblings ACTUALLY act like siblings, bc some media doesn't do sibling dynamics justice

granted, solomon isnt their sibling, but lucifer said it once AND doubled down bc he saw that it pissed satan off the first time. the older sibling in me smiled

ik i've said this before but...

lucifer says he hates when his brothers pester him like they don't get it from him 😭 oh no, if it isn't the consequences of your own actions!

now i feel like mammon might be onto something...what if he actually is stronger than lotan? but he doesn't want things to go past empty, playful threats bc hurting lotan would devastate levi, and he adores his little brother too much to do anything that irresponsible. more on this here

the brothers ever 🫶🏽 petty sibling dynamics always get me

satan reusing asmo's phrase after lucifer and solomon used it against him is peak comedy

ADHD TWINS

i can't do long, complicated shit for the life of me without getting sidetracked or overwhelmed

...unless it's these long ass posts

but that's different...kind of

so THAT'S why he was giggling and kicking his feet the whole time?? "hehehe" my ass you sly bitch

also, you can see the amount of pride lucifer feels towards satan just by the way he's acting throughout this entire lesson. he also knew wholeheartedly that satan would, one way or another, find a way to summon the white dragon. he egged satan on and teased him on purpose, which probably made his powers stronger. but i feel like the teasing also was a mask for encouragement

it was obviously still teasing at the heart, but there was a little more to it that reflected how proud lucifer is of his baby brother for coming into his own

also satan initiating the family picture at the end ??? I SOBBED

the lucifer from our timeline would NEVER allow a pet into the house. but the lucifer from our timeline also didn't get to heal the way this lucifer did, so now i'm kinda sad just thinking about that

maybe he thinks having a pet would mean that they're permanently staying in one place? and he still doesn't feel secure enough in his place in the devildom even after all the time he's spent there, even after making a home and a name for himself and his brothers. maybe he considered letting satan get a pet once mc came into the picture, and still toys with the idea, but keeps deciding against it for some internal reason that he won't address

MY WIFE MY BELOVED THE LOVE OF MY LIFE IS BACK

they really do invite any and everyone into the family. i love them so much it makes me insane

completely unrelated but i never realized that the kiss sounds are different for each brother ??? is thus just a nightbringer thing or am i just too far removed from the og game

[attic-club-sandwich]

Thoughts on Mammon being a bird dad?

Like there isn't a doubt in my mind he names them all. From cool names like Gucci to names of an object, like Rocky because he saw a rock on the ground... he's running out of names

omg i could go on all day about bird dad Mammon! He definitely treats his crows like his children. I always thought it was such a cool concept for him to be able to communicate with them (since they are his familiars... in my mind at least!)

But here's some of my personal headcanons/thoughts:

I imagine that when Mammon first enters the Devildom, he spots a crow sitting on the fence as they are leaving the Demon Castle for the first time.

Then all of a sudden more keep landing and he keeps hearing voices calling out to him and his brothers.

"H-Hey uh, do you guys hear that too?"

The brothers shoot him weird glances since they think he's crazy, and for a second he thinks he's also losing his mind.

Then all of a sudden he realizes the birds are talking to him.

Beckoning him over to the fence.

It's like they immediately knew who he was.

Mammon hesitantly walked over to them, instinct telling him to hold out an arm.

One gently lands on him, looking directly into Mammon's golden gaze.

It speaks words that only he can understand, leaving his brothers visibly confused.

Mammon starts forming relationships with the birds, giving them gifts and getting things back in return.

There's a tree outside of Mammon's window that has the perfect branch that extends right past his bedroom window, so the crows often perch outside and tap on the window when they return home.

They like to bring him things like buttons, bells, stones, rings, etc.

They'll even bring him Grimm that they find laying around on the streets.

Mammon is very quick to return to his bedroom after RAD to see what gifts that they brought him.

He also keeps all of the feathers that the crows leave behind. He has a collection.

He always gets something to bring back for his crows too, like a shiny rock or a Demonus bottle cap he found or maybe some leftover snacks from the RAD cafeteria.

Mammon usually has peanuts or something in his pockets, and Lucifer gets very annoyed on laundry day (if he forgets to give them to his crows lol)

As far as naming them, i feel like you are absolutely right lol he definitely has them named after luxury brands like Gucci or Louis Vuitton or something 💀

He would also totally name them by the first ever gifts they brought him! So Rocky is 100% a possibility he's so cute omg.

Maybe he isn't too good at coming up with names sometimes so he has MC help him name them too because new crows will come along 💕 (baby crows perhaps?!)

He basically has his own personal little army of crows. He commands them and they listen and do favors for him, but he also takes care of them too in return.

If one returns injured, he will personally see to nursing it back to health!

He definitely takes his dad/grandpa responsibilities seriously. 😂

thank you for sending this in, Hack! I had so much fun rambling about this it sorta just turned into a headcanon haha

Taglist: @amberrskiies @obey-me-posts @sassykattery @delphi-dreamin @bite-sized-devil @a-hidden-gem @otomefoxystar @marvelous-maniac @nonbinary-disaster @selfmadender @animeismyhappyplace @vampire-tr4mp @ana-dear @gaychaosgremlin @sidgethegamer @meiloorun-tea @temnuk0

[barely-coherent]

I'm having baby fever so here

OBEY ME BROTHERS AND WHAT SEX THEIR KIDS ARE

(Obligatory sex and gender are not the same thing, okay thanks)

Lucifer

Girl dad 100%

And be would spoil her so much

Are you kidding?

Diavolo would also be obsessed with her

"Lord Diavolo, can I please have my daughter back?"

"But she's so precious!!"

Anyway, she grows up thinking Diavolo is her uncle

Probably calls him "Uncle Dia"

Mammon

First of all, Tumblr give us yellow text, dammit

Also a girl dad

He just screams girl dad to me

He would be the most emotional out of the dads if I'm being honest

He would probably start sobbing on their first day of school

He would almost definitely ask some of his crows to keep an eye on her

Y'know what, she brings one of his crows for show and tell

"This is my dad's bird and he brings me things sometimes."

Leviathan

Boy dad

They play video games together

IM NOT SAYING GIRLS CAN'T PLAY VIDEO GAMES

Levi would absolutely not tolerate any girls going through that "Omg, Jean Kirstein is my son and my husband"

He would immediately be like "Him? Oh my god, disowned."

I'm joking, I love Jean, I just had that phase and I cringe at it

They would do duo cosplays

OH MY GOD FAMILY COSPLAYS

Like Aiz//awa and Shin//sou oh my god

Satan

He could go either way

Actually, he has twins

One girl, one boy

He gave them cat pajamas

He also reads them bedtimes stories

He has like a million books, there's a couple kids books somewhere

If there aren't, it gave him an excuse for more books

Oh my god, he would read while rocking a baby to sleep

Asmodeous

Again, he feels like a girl dad

BUT IF IT WAS A BOY

You know that guy at your school that everyone wanted to date?

Yeah, that's his son

Or like the girl that even the straight girls would entertain the thought of?

You know where this is going

But his daughter would be the cutest little girl, dear lord

"We should do a face mask!"

"Asmo, she's gonna eat the face mask. Kids put everything in their mouths."

He pouts for a bit but it's okay

He loves using the really soft scented baby lotion and shampoo

He's obsessed with how soft their skin is

Beelzebub

Girl dad

AND IM SAYING THIS FOR MY PLUS SIZE BADDIES

HE WOULD NOT CARE

Like his daughter comes home all sad

"What's wrong?"

"These girls were calling me fat"

The next day and like

"Those girls apologized!"

"How strange!"

Please tell him to stop threatening children

Belphegor

He doesn't really strike me as either...

So either, just like Satan

But they would nap together 100%

And he's actually pretty okay

I feel like be would actually be a really good dad

"I had a nightmare"

"Go back to sleep, I'll protect you from nightmares."

And he does!

I feel like he can do like dream magic

Makes sure they only have good dreams

[koos-kave]

Yandere Obey Me Brothers HCs except the idiot who wrote them is an actual idiot.

REQUESTED BY A FRIEND 😭

Yandere Obey Me brothers headcanons 

Gender neutral MC || TW: violence, mention of furries, guys I swear Belphegor is literally a meme lord and you can’t convince me otherwise, stalking, slight spoilers, mind breaking, conditioning || I do not condone kidnapping, stalking, or any of the things mentioned in these HCs. This is a *WORK OF FICTION* || Please like and interact, I’m lonely… || requests are always open <3

•.•.•.•.•.•.•

Lucifer

He would realize he had overly protective tendencies when someone severely injures you. (Belphegor?!)

He’s extremely intelligent and crafty, one of the  worst characters to have obsessed with you.

He would share you with Diavolo, but nobody else. (Unless Diavolo wants to share you with Barbatos.Big three on top! Literally…)

Things would probably be the same unless you’re in love with another or discover Lucifer’s infatuation with you. Be prepared to find yourself locked up someplace nobody else can find if Lucifer decides it’s the only way to effectively protect you. (Holy shit Belphegor reference two?!)

He says he considers you an equal, but you know he thinks he’s better than you. You’re just a weak human that needs protection.

Would purposely not heal you after punishments, but would never leave permanent scars on you.

Would not try to break you, condition you to certain things, or permanently disfigure you. He prefers his human in ‘mint condition’.

Will occasionally gaslight you into thinking it’s your fault for his obsession.

Biggest downside is that he doesn’t get memes and doesn’t like them.

Mammon 

Would realize he wanted you for himself if he saw you becoming romantically interested in another.

MC… he loved you even if he claimed he didn’t. Why would you do this to him?

He’s hurt, but realizes eventually he has to stop sulking and take control of the situation.

He makes it painfully obvious that he’s been sneaking into your room at night, the greedy bastard can’t resist taking some of your belongings for himself!

He secretly hopes you notice.

He’ll find more and more reasons to keep you close to him, he would definitely let you off the hook for being disobedient unlike Lucifer and some of the others.

Chill most of the time, I bet his crows would really like you too. :)

The type of guy to take pictures of you while you sleep. 

Leviathan 

Would realize he needed you the first time you defended him.

Everyone says he’d be a perverted freak.  I personally think they’re wrong.

He’s the type to try and lock himself away until these strange feelings for you go away…

And if they don’t…

Leviathan will turn to romance manga and anime to try and see what it is he should do.

Honestly, I think he’d have more respect for you than the others. He thinks everything about you is impressive.

If he realizes he’s acting like a yandere he’ll probably shut himself in his room again.

He’s so scared that you’ll find out he’s a ‘freak’ that he goes back to watching/reading romance manga/anime to try and copy the actions a normal protagonist would take.

If he gives up on trying to be normal and turns to darker content… well…

That’s when things could possibly become freaky.

Satan 

He realizes that you belong to him when you tell him you think he’s more than his sin.

Probably goes to Asmodeus for advice at first. 

He’s been grooming you for quite a long time, earning your trust like a stray cat.

He wants to give you the perfect, domestic life.

He tries to make you fall in love naturally but seeing you around other people (especially Lucifer) makes his blood boil.

Another case of wanting things to stay the same.

He has an incredible amount of patience, both from years after years of attempting to repress his unexplainable amount of rage, and from the sweet delusion that one day you’ll love him too.

Unlike his dad, he’s okay with conditioning. He will do it slowly- like training an animal.

There’s a good chance that, like Leviathan, he’ll stay away from you. Not because he’s worried about what you think of him, no. It’s because he knows these urges will eventually get the better of him and that when they do terrible things will happen to you.

Asmodeus 

It’s complicated- you know he’s constantly partying and sleeping with other demons, yet when you do it he feels upset.

That’s sooo not fair to you, darling-! He’ll try not to let his jelousy get out of hand. He wants you to have fun too!

He starts to feel like you enjoy yourself more when you’re around others, he doesn’t like that.

He’s the glorious Asmodeus. You need to know that nobody will ever compare to him!

He’d take breaks from social media to start doing research on what you like.

His content and look will start changing based on whatever you’re into. 

Asmodeus doesn’t feel perfect anymore, not until you can see him as perfect in your eyes. 

Let’s be honest, the closer he becomes to your ideal man/whatever you prefer the harder it’s going to be to not fall for him. 

You’re going to fall for him.

Beelzebub

Sorry gang, I really struggled trying to think about yandere Beel. He just… I just don’t know that much about him and he really doesn’t seem like the type? If someone wants it, I’ll come up with something. I have a few ideas.

Belphegor

You’re going to lose a limb or two. Or three- or just everything!

He’ll slowly fall for you, there won’t really be a pivotal moment that will make it click for him. Maybe he’d fall for you sooner if Beelzebub thinks you’re neat.

A small plus with Belphegor is sometimes he’ll overlook something you do he doesn’t like because he’s too tired to do something about it.

Will literally chug a fucking monster energy to do whatever without falling asleep if you really piss him off.

Actually kind of considerate, knows he sleeps a lot so he usually has a show on to entertain you. Once he woke up and apparently My Little Pony was playing and he said something about gay furry propaganda and went on a rant about why it makes him mad when people call him a furry for having a cow-print pillowcase.

Unlike Lucifer he fucking loves memes. Will snort if you show him a good one…

if you still have hands or access to a device.

———————

This took me months.

I started it 3 months ago, forgot about it, and spent an hour trying to write the rest so I could have something mildly decent to post. I bet there are an unfathomable amount of grammatical errors that render this entire thing unreadable. 😭

W do I have so much anxiety that people will hate these when I post them? #FailingTheObeyMeFandom

[plnkdemon]

mammon never takes when it comes to you. it’s always the other way around, much to the surprise of his brothers.

mammon x gn!mc (jus a lil drabble)

cw/tw: suggestive content below the cut (18+, MDNI)

his heart constricts almost painfully with how much joy fills him when you admire his new ring. he damn near goes into cardiac arrest when you steal it to slip it onto your own finger and hold your hand up to see how it glitters and gleams under the overhead lights.

despite what others may think, mammon isn’t selfish when it comes to you — only when it comes to you — because he feels so much more satisfied seeing his human so greedy for all the special and shiny things in his loot. nowadays, he’s much more excited to get goldie back because it means getting to run to you and sweep you off to the streets to go window shopping, and when your eye catches on the new Devogue coat, he gets to flash the pretty card. he wants to fuel your greed, see you showered in all of the most ridiculously priced luxury fashion and only the brightest, flashiest jewels known to demonkind.

now, when lucifer receives that dreaded bill in the mail that used to be pages and pages of mammon’s splurges, it’s much shorter (although still unrealistic). you reign him in significantly, able to reason with your demon that you don’t need ten puyairs of sneakers and yes, you love the color but if you don’t get to wear them, then there’s no good in buying them.

mammon definitely gets pouty when you manage to tug him out of a store without any bags or a receipt as long as he is tall. it’s easy enough to fix if you just swipe his sunglasses to wear them for yourself before leaning in close to tell him there’s other things he has to offer that interest you more right now.

all of that isn’t to say that he doesn’t still obsess over money and riches, he absolutely does. and he’s physically incapable of stopping the cooing and chirping that escapes from his throat whenever you present him with a prettily wrapped gift hiding the fancy watch he’s been wanting all month. but it makes him just as pleased as settling into your bed at night and seeing the shelves lined with all the shiny and glittery trinkets, rocks, bottles, do-dads, and so on that you proudly display, each and every one a gift from him or his crows. he contently combs through your hair, massages any facial oils that asmo introduced to your nightly routine, and then ensures that you’re properly tucked into bed, meticulously taking care of you until you’re asleep.

mammon loves to give, but more than that, he loves for you to take. when you tell him to sit down and be a good boy for you until you’re satiated is plenty to get him riled up, rearing with excitement. when you have him spread out across his expensive duvet so that his entire being is yours for the taking, he feels higher than the celestial realm. when you finally, finally, finally take your place on top of him, stubbornly forcing him into the impossibly tight and warm spot that you need to feel him, he worries he might genuinely pass away and not get to experience what comes next.

what comes next, that’s his favorite. he gets to watch you with hearts in his half-lidded eyes as you use his body to please yourself. sometimes, even ordering him to do the work, to make you scream, but he’s known to get carried away when it comes to you. he gets to grope and bite all the doughy, soft parts of you to hear your sweet noises, affirmations that you want him. he flourishes underneath you when you fall apart again and again, all because it means that you’re greedy for him.

all these years, he’d never considered what it might feel like for someone to be greedy and selfish all for him. he never imagined what it would be like to be the treasure sought after and possessively held onto rather than the person seeking said treasure. when you reach around his neck to clasp the pretty little chain that advertises how he is your property, mammon is little more than mush in your hands, only imagining you pulling his face closer with the necklace or your hands expertly squeezing his throat and pressing the cool gold into his skin at the same time. he feels priceless, like the crown jewels or the mona lisa or… he can’t even think right now. his sweet human makes him feel loved in a way he can understand, greed and protectiveness, from the way you immediately seek him out in a crowd to how you’re willing to fight to protect what’s yours (him).

he feels irreplaceable for the first time in his life because you’re just as careful and particular when you’re washing the shampoo from his hair, touching up his nail polish, and walking him home from his modeling gigs. when he gets anxious and overwhelmed or insecure and guarded, you use only the softest of touches to coax him into letting you back in. there’s a special smile and voice that you reserve for mammon and no one else, because no matter how many times you need to save him from drowning in his negative thoughts, you will always make sure he knows how very precious he is to you and how loved and safe he makes you feel.

[absolutepokemontrash]

Could i request the brothers (or some of your choice) meeting Grim? Like, the MC came back from twisted wonderland and brought him with them because they've been through so much togheter they're now inseparable?

Okay. Let’s do this.

Grim and the Brothers! [And a Tiny Crossover ;)]

Lucifer

MC, he said no cats. Yes, he’s happy that they’re back from their weird-Disney boarding school, but no cats. Especially not loud, whiny, bratty little-

Grim now sleeps on Lucifer’s lap. It took literally five minutes after Lucifer had his no-cat lecture.

Anyway, as fond as Lucifer is for the little cat, he isn’t afraid to string Grim up next to Mammon for any tuna theft, accidental fires, or general shennaniganery.

Lucifer’s exhaustion levels go up about 30% after he realizes he now needs to budget for all the tuna and toys the spoiled little cat needs.

Lucifer’s new Lock Screen on his DDD is a picture of MC and Grim napping on the couch.

MC’s new Lock Screen is a picture of Grim and Lucifer napping in Lucifer’s office chair.

One day while working in his office with Grim on his lap, Diavolo burst in being followed by someone in a strange looking crow mask. Diavolo quickly explained that the headmaster of Night Raven Academy wanted to drop in for a quick belated Parent-Teacher interview, and Lucifer was the closest thing MC had to a dad, so…

Lucifer then had to sit through about fifteen minutes of this… principal, explaining that he was oh-so generous, and such a great educator, and that he took such good care of MC during the year… Luci let him ramble, a fanged smile slowly crawling across his face until he cleared his throat and said “Ah, yes, you’re the one who MC said made them live in a dilapidated house, hm? Let’s talk about that. :)”

Crowley suddenly had to run, but Lucifer was very insistent that he stay and chat a while ^.^

Mammon

“Awwww! A kitty-“ “GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS AWAY FROM THE GREAT GRIM!” “OI! WHO DO YA THINK YOU ARE TALKIN’ TO THE GREAT MAMMON LIKE THAT-“

So many ore-samas going around… MC should get earbuds.

Once everything calms down, Grim has the sudden realization that Mammon reminds him an awful lot of two of his… lacking in braincell friends. So eventually, the two of them come to a standstill.

Mammon refuses to spell Grim’s name correctly, which pisses off the cat. But it doesn’t matter, Grim is Mammon’s little Grimm-Maneki-Neko, a lucky little money cat!

They both get into heaps and heaps of trouble, no matter how close the two of them end up getting, they both try and throw hands- or, paws with each other at random intervals.

Okay, so, one of MC’s friends from school decided to drop in, they were a real well put-together lookin’ nerd type with white hair and glasses. Mammon swore this kid’s eyes lit up like a Christmas tree when MC introduced Mammon to him. All of a sudden this kid was all compliments and charm, and oh would you look at that Mammon is signing a contract-

NOT ON MC’S WATCH YOU BONELESS SLIPPERY LITTLE BASTARD-

Leviathan

MC has a magical girl companion! Perfect! The two of them can go off and save the Devildom from any-

Okay nevermind this cat is a temperamental little shit.

When Levi went to welcome MC back from Twisted Wonderland, the Avatar of Envy was just buzzing with excitement, he had so much anime for the two of them to catch up on! It was going to be great!

And then this little bastard came along and ruined it. And apparently the little shit eats evil magic rocks too. Yippee.

Even though Grim is an adorable fire-kitty, Levi still worries about him somehow trying to eat Henry 2.0, so while MC visits Levi to watch anime, Grim is firmly banned from Levi’s room.

Yeah, and once these two friends of MC’s from school visited. It was some kid with blue fire hair and a tiny robot child who showed up to play video games with MC, and Levi decided to log on to join them.

…Idia and Levi recognized each other’s voices…

Apparently Discord allows friends through different dimensions. The fire Gamer and water Gamer get to meet in (*bleh*) person. It was… kinda awkward, but MC and Ortho were happy that their two shut in Otakus were friends.

Satan

C A T

Satan loves petting cats. Grim loves scritches. Satan loves giving cats treats. Grim is an insatiable little glutton who will never be satisfied. Satan loves Grim. Grim loves his shiny new servant. This is a mutually beneficial relationship.

At this rate, MC is going to lose their cat to Satan.

Out of all the brothers, Satan and Beel are the only ones who will really entertain Grim’s “I will be the greatest magic user of all time” speeches.

Grim definitely puts on a few pounds from all the treats.

So um… some really loud green haired kid dropped by to visit MC and Grim, and interrupted Satan’s reading time with all the yelling. It took all of the Avatar of Wrath’s self control to not whip the book at this sixteen year old’s head.

Also Grim was vibing on Satan’s lap and he didn’t want to disturb the little guy.

Asmodeus

Awwwww, what a sweet little kitty! Grim and MC are just soooooo cute! This is going on Devilgram!

Asmo takes approximately a thousand pictures, and Grim is suddenly the most adorable cat in the Devildom. At first Grim revels in the spotlight, then decides he doesn’t want to deal with the constant hair ribbons and nail trimmings…

Asmo weeps for his Devilgram fodder has left him…

Other than desperately trying to snap cute photos for the ol’ gram, Asmo really doesn’t see what MC sees in the cat. Like, out of all the cute things to get attached to, couldn’t MC have picked something less… annoying?

Also Asmo is not a fan of all the cat hair. So of course Grim makes sure to shed all over Asmo’s things.

Two of MC’s friends dropped by to visit once, and one of them took a single look at Asmo and started FAWNING over him. So many French compliments, so little time… Asmo might have to keep this one, but MC advised against it. (Poor Rook…)

The other boy on the other hand, Asmo found his new apprentice. Cater Diamond’s follower count skyrocketed after Asmo fine-tuned some angles for some selfies.

Beelzebub

Okay if this cat eats any more of Beel’s stuff, Beel is not responsible for what happens next. He’s sorry, but no.

Fret not dear human, one glare from Beel seemed to scare Grim shitless, so there won’t be any more traceable food theft from this kitty.

Other than the rocky start, Beel kind of likes Grim, he’s glad MC had a friend to keep them company while studying at a school in a different dimension.

Beel is also one of the two brothers to actually listen to Grim’s rants about how cool and powerful he is. Not that Beel’s actually listening too hard, he’s pretty focused on whatever food he’s eating.

This one friend of MC’s came over to visit once, and he made hands down one of the best desserts Beel has ever tasted. Sure, Barbatos’ were technically better, but these strawberry tarts were still amazing! Beel had found his pet personal chef! Finally! This glasses kid with green hair! Yay!

…a very angry, tiny redhead joined MC in convincing Beel that Trey needed to go home.

Belphegor

Grim is a little loud for Belphie’s tastes, but here’s the thing, Grim is a warm little kitty and is the size of a stuffed animal…

Nap buddy :D

Sure, Belphie has a few angry claw marks on his arms, but those were all worth it, imagine snuggling with your own warm little stuffed animal.

But in terms of the waking world, Belphie actually quite likes messing with Grim. He likes to get the cat all riled up and angry right before Lucifer is set to come home. The Avatar of Sloth kills two birds with one stone, he annoys Grim, and Grim annoys Lucifer with angry shenanigans in turn. Perfectly balanced, as all thing should be.

So… Belphie wasn’t the biggest fan of all the visitors MC was getting. One of them wouldn’t stop waving a shiny gold contract in his face, two of them were as stupid as Mammon, and this most recent one… oooo… this most recent one nearly caused Belphie to commit some honest to Jesus violence.

This random lion eared catboy just showed up, and passed out in MC’s bed and had the fucking nerve to snuggle them. Nuh uh. That’s Belphie’s living body pillow, not THIS RANDO’S.

Leona Kingscholar made an enemy that day, and he doesn’t even know it.

Also for some reason all of the food in the house went missing that day, and Beel was definitely not the culprit this time.

[animeniac-writings]

Obey Me - Dogs, Cats, and More!

Otome: Obey Me Shall We Date

I do have a bit of a bias from having chronic rescue cats. Also I like to think there's demon 'pets', but for the sake of this we'll stick to human-realm known creatures.

Lucifer: He's a bit torn between cats and dogs, he loves Cerberus and the excited loyalty of dogs, but quite likes cats, quiet companionship and often independent. That said, he's a tired dad that will put up with (almost) any animal someone brings home.

Mammon: Your man IS a puppy. For you. His favorite animal/pet/familiar is his crows, he says because they're little pickpockets that bring him shiny things, but he loves them so much and coddles them when no one's looking.

Leviathan: Any aquatic life! Fish, eels, octopi, he finds them a lot easier to relate to and likes going on deep swims to look at them. Has given favor to a few throughout time and in turn extended their lifespan. You once told him he should get a pet lobster, since he will live forever, and with help so can they. Also went to a cat cafe with Satan once and really likes the gentle cat he met.

Satan: Cats. 100% Cat person, one who will buy the toe bean socks and take photos of them with their head in a slice of bread. Buys lots of cat themed items. Taking you (or any of his willing brothers if you're busy) on cat cafe dates are his favorite past time.

Asmodeus: Bunnies and chinchillas. Both for the fact they're fluffy, fat, and so cute! He once had a huge white bunny and adored her, even if she did chew on his makeup brushes sometimes. Would gossip and cry into it's fur, has never had a pet since but still loves holding and petting them (and taking so many pictures).

Beelzebub: Dog person for another puppy like demon boy :) Loves big dogs and little dogs, the dogs that will jump up and lick his face when he comes home, taking Cerberus on runs together. He will have a dog and they will do Everything together, workouts, snack time (with it's own pile to chomp on), matching shirts, will carry it around whether it's a mastiff on one arm or a little shaking thing in a purse he carefully holds.

Belphagor: Cats but he is still fond of dogs. Despite his name and their laziness, it's not sloths. Dogs because they remind him of Beel, but unless it's an old or lazy dog, he will prefer it to stay with Beel too. It can always come nap with him though. Has fallen asleep at many a cat cafe with Satan and woke up to multiple cats on him, they know how to find a good sunspot and he can respect that.

Diavolo: He has always wanted a pet, he would be happy with any pet, loves animals, creatures, doesn't have a favorite but he's heartbroken that most are scared of him. Even Cerberus is weary feeling his power.

Barbatos: Dragons, wyrms, and cats. As a being from millennia long ago before the creation of many animals, and having similarities in his demon form self, he greatly respects beasts of old. And cats are both nice companions, cat be low maintenance, and best of all, will hunt mice and rats. Coincidentally, so will small dragons and the like.

Simeon: Cats and quokkas, he's fond of all animals and will says cats if you ask if he's a "cat person or dog person" but nothing quite matches a smiling quokka in his eyes. If you have any pets they will love him immediately and he gets flustered when you pout complaining he 'stole them from you'

Solomon: Possums. He started feeding a possums once, not even knowing what it was, and ended up taking it with him out of curiosity. Unlike the others who will hold off on getting another pet for missing them with short lifespans, Solomon will always have a few around somewhere. He loves feeding them, handing them each piece of fruit into those little hands.

Luke: He says he loves all animals! He would visit them all in heaven often (it was secretly his favorite place to go), his very favorites were the baby seals and turtles though. Seals with those big wet eyes staring up at him, and turtles because they're so slow and he liked to watch them, and always help the ones that got stuck or flipped over.

[journey-to-the-attic]

I've just discovered the pet zoo au and I.am.obsessed.

NO CUZ LIKE IMAGINE IK AND BELPHIE LISTENING TO "WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY" AND BELPHIE JUST STARTES MAKING FOX NOISES ON THAT PART.

Also for some reason I think beels "woof" would be like that one meme with the husky where the humans are trying to sush it and he just lets out the most definde 'woof' ever.

Another thing,what if they tried to write out their names??? Like Satan steps in int and tries to make multuple paw prints on a paper to draw out his name in a way (he fails)

Also, it's said that crows can learn some words...what if crow Mammon (due to being magic as well) manages to start saying a few words and even starts making full on sentences. Can just imagine him flying through the window and landing in front of Ik and her dad like "feed me mortals or perish" as a joke to freak them out BC 'omg a talking crow' AND THEY INSTEAD START SCREAMING THWIR BUTTS OFF WHILE MAMMON IS TRYING TO CALM THEM DOWN BUT IT ONLY TURNS WORSE.

On the talking crow Mammon topic,what if he tells Ik what the others want to tell her?? Like "Yeah Lucifer wants you to put more Britney Spears" or "Levi wants to watch you play this game" or "Asmo says you gotta go pet him"

(wanna hear more from you tho BC I like your hcs, they're funny and silly)

orders given, orders received (/j i've been wanting to talk more about this au too!!)

i love the idea of the brothers attempting to communicate their names,, i feel like lucifer and/or satan would come up with some really smart method of going about it (like laying out books or ripping up a newspaper and using the letters), but ik and her dad are just like 'ah, what silly animal antics' and clean up the mess without even noticing what they're trying to spell out

so at first they just all have nicknames-

lucifer: peter (as in Peter the Peacock)

mammon: car (crow goes "caw!", caw sounds like 'car', ergo, car)

levi: socks (on the first morning after they took the animals in, ik found him trying to hide inside one. it's also funny because usually you get cats or dogs named this)

satan: paddy (aunt lisa picked this one - as in st paddy, for his green eyes)

asmo: duchess (ik had a feeling he'd like it)

beel: boof (it's the noise he makes)

belphie: hu (from the chinese word for fox (zhao picked this one). sometimes it's extended to hu-hu)

at first, satan and asmo are the only ones who like their new nicknames, while everyone else is mostly neutral on theirs, apart from lucifer, who HATES his

however, he still responds to it, so really it's his fault that it sticks

eventually everyone warms up to their new nicknames, but they'd still like their new family to know their actual ones

i like the idea of mammon learning speech, so yes he'd be the one to eventually relay the message!

he hops around on ik's shoulder going "lucifer! lucifer! lucifer!", and ik thinks her crow friend is conducting a ritual up until she realises he keeps pointing his beak at peter the peacock

she does switch to their actual names once she learns them, but in her head she still tends to refer to them by their nicknames, and they still respond when she uses them aloud

mammon's language would be more fluent than a regular crow's, but i don't think he'd generally be able to string together full sentences

so it's more like a "hey! food!" when he's hungry, "kid? okay?" when he's concerned, "levi. bowl. broke!" when he's snitching

he can manage full sentences if he tries really hard, but he usually can't be bothered, so he saves them for when he's serious

for example, if ik were getting bullied, he would go full fluency mode to say "i'm gonna kill them for you"

the other brothers are mostly happy to just chill (particularly levi and belphie), but lucifer gets so restless with no work to do that he starts assigning himself random chores to occupy himself

for example he's decided it's his job to open all the curtains in the morning and close them at night

ik starts bringing home random worksheets from school and lucifer will just sit there staring at them (he doesn't have hands to write with so he just has to answer mentally)

levi has a little box by the window from which he can see the tv and also sunbathe

ik brings home a sheet of stickers so that he can pick some to decorate with

beel is SUCH a big dog that he would take up the whooole sofa or bed if he sat there, so usually he very politely sticks to the floor

but then they buy him a big blanket and he starts carrying it with him from room to room to rest on (belphie also steals it a lot)

everyone has their own little spots around the house where they usually stay, apart from mammon, who is nearly always found on ik's shoulder

if ik isn't home he will stand on zhao's head instead

satan nearly always sleeps on either ik or zhao's bed and at some point his habit extends to the others, so they start taking it in turns being 'guards' for both humans at night

lucifer pretends to be above it as if he DOESN'T trot himself right to rooms and stay there the whole night as soon as it's his turn

whenever ik's stressed out from school she comes home and just plonks herself on beel

he's such a big dog that he barely even feels it so he's perfectly happy to be a big fluffy pillow

levi spends most of his time in his box but he'll also be quite happy to go around the house draped around ik's neck and listening to her narrate her whole day to him

sometimes ik brings asmo ribbons and such and he gets so excited that he does that jumpy twisty thing rabbits do (i think it's called binkying?)

asmo and satan both get the zoomies but satan's always so embarrassed about it afterwards, while asmo simply owns the energy and then flops over for pats afterwards

belphie's normally very quiet and docile but occasionally he'll just SCREAM and it scares everyone in the house

[rainiishowers]

If requests are open can I please request Mammon with a crow shapeshifter!reader?

Like the reader is still 100% human, they just so happen to have the power to transform into a crow (kind of like Atsushi in BSD)

It would be so cute if Mammon's familiars recognise you as one of their own and since you can communicate with you even when you're in human form they like to fly to you and tell you all about how much they love Mammon (and the fact that he has a huge crush on you and talks about you to them 24/7) - the crows consider Mammon as their dad so they're trying to play matchmaker

Imagine if you hang out with Mammon in your crow form and he has no idea who you are but can tell that you're not one of his babies familiars. Even so he's still softly cooing at you and is being sweet as he strokes your feathers and scratches your chin being all cute and gentle and then he somehow tells you all about his crush on you so you tease him by transforming back into a human and giggle at his shocked face

Of course you start dating and you tell him everything that the crows told you (he pouts at them and scolds them for snitchin' on him) and now not only does he have a lover but also another crow in his murder and the crows get another doting parent so really they're the real winners in this.

A/N: Anon you have no idea how much I love this idea. I swear I had to shorten my original idea cuz it didn’t fit with your request This is a bit of a late Mammon birthday post!

If y’all like this, perhaps I’ll do more Shapeshifter! Crow MC content Y’all don’t understand, I already have a design for this MC

———

The first time Mammon saw you in the council hall, he knew something was up, he couldn’t put his finger on it though. He felt… connected to you somehow, his memory may not be the best at times, but he never remembers meeting you in the human world before all this.

As you stayed, he noticed some similarities between you and his crows. You liked mimicking things, be it phrases or poses. He saw you mimic Simeon’s hand on hip pose once during the castle tour, or even Levi’s overeager yell, which he did not like coming out of another person's mouth.

Mammon was quick to realize you didn’t need his protection! You somehow got out of many of the dangerous situations unscathed thanks to your inhuman speed, dexterity, and flexibility. Levi trying to attack you during the TSL quiz? You got out of there without getting hurt!

If that wasn’t enough to make him fall in love with you, it’s also the fact that you got along with his familiars that you seemed so similar to splendidly, and that’s one of the things that made him fall harder. Sometimes he’d come to his room and see you on his couch with some crows flying around you.

For some reason, you were hanging out with him a lot, even rejecting the others just to, say, go to the movie together! Mammon wasn’t complaining, he adores your company, but there were so many options, why choose him?

As his crush grew, he had no one to talk to about it, so he talked about his growing love for this exchange student to his beloved familiars, while babying them of course. It was a particularly boring day where Mammon had chosen to baby one of his crows and rant about his crush on you.

“MC is just really cool, an’ this growin’ adoration won’t go away! They are just a human! Why am I falling this hard for a human!?”

This is how his usual talks went, one minute he'd be praising you, the other he’d be screaming into a pillow.

As he was in bed, screaming into the fluffy pillows, the same crow he was babying before lands at the other side of his bed. He doesn’t pay attention to it until he hears some noises and a weight at his feet.

As he slowly lifts his head to look up, the look on his face went from frustration to surprise, with his mouth agape as he saw the very human he was falling in love with was grinning widely and stupidly. Stumbling to sit up, he sputters, his cheeks heating up.

“W-When did you get here!?!”

“I was here the whole time!”

“What? That can’t be true!”

You scoot closer, still having that wide grin.

“Want me to prove it to ya?” You mimic his accent and the way his arms cross.

“I’d like to see you try!”

Seconds later, in a flurry of black feathers, a crow stood where you once were, squawking happily and triumphantly as Mammon’s eyes grew wider.

As quickly as the crow appeared, it disappeared, and you were back.

“Yer a crow!?!” Mammon yells.

“Well, technically a crow shapeshifter, but yea!” You laugh, which causes the other crows that came in from the window to sort of mimic the laughter.

“So.. You were the one I was talking to about my crush…”

“Yep! The other crows often tell me how you talk about me almost all the time, although I don’t need the other crows to tell me that, since your brothers tell me that too.”

“Ughh… This is probably the worst day of my life..”

“Well, would it make it better if I told you I loved you too?”

Mammon took a minute to process that before his whole face became red and he hid his face in his hands.

“…M-Maybe it would..”

“Well, you should thank your crows. They were the ones who attempted to make us closer. They convinced me to hang out with you more.. Not that I needed much convincing, mind you.”

Mammon, at this point, had calmed down enough to not be a tomato. He shakily nods as three crows in particular flew over and squawked happily. Mammon was quick to t

“So you three were the ringleaders, eh? Not surprised.” Mammon gives a toothy grin and pets the crows chests as a thank you. The one in the front decided to slide Mammon’s gold ring off his finger and fly away.

“Wha- Hey!!”

You laugh as Mammon launches off the bed to chase after the thief of a crow, who you both knew was just playing around.

[onyourowndaisymae]

obey me brothers as songs from noah kahan's "stick season"

i don't really have any excuse for writing this over the million other things i need to write, i just really fucking love this album i beg of you please listen to it so i have a void to scream in

content warnings: season 1 and 2 plot spoilers, discussions of death, minor nightbringer spoilers

Lucifer - Strawberry Wine

"strawberry wine, and all the time we used to have // those things i miss, but know are never comin' back // for you, darlin', for you //// no thing defines a man like love that makes him soft // and sentimental like a stranger in the park // for a few moments, i see you"

a soft song about grief centered around alcohol? so painfully lucifer

strawberry wine (as far as i'm aware-- and side note that all of these interpretations are semi-official and semi-speculation) is about losing someone you loved

makes me think of his grief surrounding lilith as her older brother. in nightbringer, he talks about how he used to laugh off her visits to the human world and how that was a mistake. every time he discusses her brings this sort of softness, this melancholic haze of regret and love.

that's what strawberry wine is to me. it's love and regret and pain all mixed together into a sense of yearning for something you know is long gone.

Mammon - Orange Juice

"honey, come over, the party's gone slower // and no one will tempt you, we know you got sober // there's orange juice in the kitchen, bought for the children // it's yours if you want it, we're just glad you could visit //// feels like i've been ready for you to come home for so long // that I didn't think to ask you where you'd gone // why'd you go?"

this song literally makes me scream

orange juice is about seeing someone again for the first time in awhile and finding out that they've changed and worked to better themselves in their absence-- all while you never noticed them struggling in the first place. it's pity and regret and sympathy and hope all mixed together into a mocktail of emotion that KILLS me.

mammon is a busy guy. something is constantly on his mind. s much as he loves the people around him, it wouldn't be that hard to hide your struggles from him.

it makes me write this fanfic in my head about mammon seeing a newly sober mc a few years after the exchange program and coming to terms with the fact that as much as he cares for them, he's not always been there for them in the way they need. i have a vision so clear in my head. maybe i'll write it someday

shoutout to the "are we all just crows to you now?" lyric that i can't listen to without thinking of mammon. the disappointment and earnesty in the way he says it makes me lose my MIND

Leviathan - Come Over

"i know that it ain't much, i know that it ain't cool // oh, you don't have to tell the other kids at school // my dad will strike it rich, we'll be the big house on the block // someday I'm gonna be somebody people want //// but I'm in the business of losing your interest // and I turn a profit each time that we speak // don't you know there's a coffin buried under the garden? // was there when we got here, will be there when we leave"

come over is a song about feeling so small and out of place, about yearning for something greater feeling foolish all the while. it's insecurity, knowing you're not what you want to be, but hoping that the person you hold so dear can look past the things about you that make you squirm.

this one is my roommate's fav song, btw, so i hope i do it justice.

i see levi here in the song's insecurity, in the almost apologetic tone for not being "enough". it's all yearning for someone you worry will be ashamed of you. the song practically shuts itself down before it even starts, and this to me reminds me of that envy that keeps itself coiled around levi when he interacts with mc or groups of his brothers

the lyric "the sad kid in the sad house on Balch Street", my mind immediately pictures levi, head ducked, avoiding the spotlight most of his other brothers embrace

Satan - Northern Attitude

"if I get too close // and I'm not how you hoped // forgive my northern attitude // oh, I was raised out in the cold //// if the sun don't rise // 'til the summertime // forgive my northern attitude // oh, I was raised on little light"

i feel so passionate about this one, i feel it in my BONES

if satan wasn't from hell i could absolutely see him as a northeastern sad boy from a rainy town

northern attitude is a song about being a fuckup from fucking nowhere. the chorus (quoted above) is a plea for the listener to forgive them of their social transgressions, of not being good enough to be around, because they weren't raised with warmth and love, but rather in the cold and the dark.

satan was never an angel, unlike his brothers. they had time to roam and grow up in the celestial realm, a land of light and virtue. satan's home is the devildom in all its dark, sinful glory. that place is all he as himself-- not as an extension of lucifer's memories-- knows.

satan is also well aware that he is the avatar of wrath and clearly that is off-putting to a lot of people. especially after meeting mc, this song to me is satan trying his damnedest to go against his nature as a reckless demon and be someone they can love

Asmodeus - She Calls Me Back

"if only i could wake you up // if only i could fall asleep // i'll love you when the ocean's dry // i'll love you when the rivers freeze //// does it bite at your edges? // do you lie awake restless? // why am i so obsessive? // hanging onto every sentence // this town's the same as you left it // your page is blank but i read it // i still dial 822-993-167"

i don't think asmo, at least aesthetically, fits into stick season very well. the whole album is very rainy and depressed, unlike him. but. there is one song that stands out to me sonically, just like the way asmo stands out from his brothers. hence why she calls me back and asmo are a good match

i like asmo most when solmare decides to acknowledge his depth as a character. one of those dimensions i think is very interesting is this sort of obsessive aspect to him where he needs everyone to like him and to always be perfect all the time. it's like he uses this perfectionism to generate enough love and praise to cover his insecurities.

the first and only person asmo loves as much (or more!) than himself is mc. noting that obsessive part of him, i think that everything they do sort of eats at asmo. he's never been in genuine love before, so i think that everything about loving mc feeds into this obsessiveness. like the popularity contest where he's fighting so hard against lucifer, where simeon eventually pointed out that people want to look good in front of those that they love? that. that is the feeling i'm getting at.

when the chorus gets to the "everything's alright when she calls me back", that reads as the relief. asmo won't worry about what mc thinks or if they like someone better in those moments because there, above everything, is the feeling of love he has from just being around them.

Beelzebub - Everywhere, Everything

"would we survive in a horror movie? // i doubt it, we're too slow moving // we trust everyone we meet //// two bodies riddled with scars from our preteens // intertwine in a car's dirty backseat // stare at a drive-in screen //// we didn't know that the sun was collapsing // 'til the seas rose and the buildings came crashing // we cried, 'oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh'"

everywhere, everything is a song about wanting to stick by someone that you've grown up and grown together with through the end of the world-- or the end of yours, specifically.

beel comes off to me as SUCH a family person. i'm sure that's canon too, i just can't think of anything specific to quote atm.

this song to me seems like a reflection on the journey of the past as it mirrors the journey ahead. to me, with beelzebub, his previous life in the celestial realm came crumbling after the great celestial war-- yet he came out the other side with (most of) his loved ones to stay by his side.

i think he's willing to follow the twists and turns of fate to jostle him around, take what they need from him, so long as he gets to keep his remaining family.

when mc comes around, i think they're immediately woven into that same protective field of his. he'll go through hell and back again as long as they come out the other side with him.

Belphegor - The View Between Villages

"passed alger brook road, i'm over the bridge // a minute from home but I feel so far from it // the death of my dog, the stretch of my skin // it's all washin' over me, i'm angry again //// the things that i lost here, the people i knew // they got me surrounded for a mile or two // the car's in reverse, i'm grippin' the wheel // i'm back between villages and everything's still"

this is, unquestionably, my favorite song on the album. by a lot. it just means so much to me. the extended version WILL kill me this summer.

the view between villages starts slowly with an acknowledgement of growth while painting a picture of a slow drive through the backroads home. it's all peace and love, all growth.

then the second half of the song kicks in (quoted above) and it just hits you like a sledgehammer, picking up intensity until the final line where the world stills again. it is so, so good. the latter half is the feeling of being back home and being mobbed by your ghosts, of realizing that maybe you can't just up and walk away from your traumas like you thought you could.

to me, this feels like belphegor's experience in lesson 16. when confronted with the truth about lilith's death, all of the pain and anger and fear rushes back to him, and he just... breaks down. the swell of the music mimics that rush of emotion as it overwhelms you past your breaking point. it's the influx of righteous anger at your loss, the pain of yesterday finding its home back inside you. it's bitterness and anger and pain melding with the person you've grown to be. it's a new beast entirely.

god this is such a good fucking song

[dabiscrustyfeet]

Hi, I really liked what you wrote. Can you do the reaction of the brothers when they learn that their children are harassed because of his half human blood? The little one didn't want to say anything, ashamed of being weak when they were their children.

Awww this is such a cute post thank u for requesting my love

(Im so sorry it took so long)

The sins find out their kid was harassed because they have half human blood

Lucifer

First of all

How dare people harass his child

No seriously – you have a death wish

Second of all

His child ain’t weak just because they have half human blood

They are stronger than most demons mkay

So y’all hurting them is 1: a death wish 2: idiocy and 3: he will tell his child to beat yo ass once they get a grip of their power

So when his kid comes to him looking upset – oh he knows and he’s not happy

The kiddo was about to say some lame ass excuse and he cuts them off

‘You know you’re not weak right? You’re still young, your power will grow, okay dear?’

As soon as his kid says ‘aren’t you ashamed that i couldn’t defend myself ?’

Bruh– he’s looking at his kid like 👁👄👁

He’s offended– you think he’s ashamed?

Staring at his kid like they grew three heads

‘No i am not ashamed’ honestly said it with so much finality you’d have thought he was in an argument

Obviously he needs to make his kid feel better so [insert very soft dad lucifer comforting his child]

And when the his pride and joy [his kid, if you didn’t realise] fell asleep

He decided to ready the not so secret torture chamber in the basement

He had a few guests coming over

Mammon

Oof- i feel sorry for whoever hurt this mans kid

First off, mammon has a soft spot for kids; he has a nine year old to look after and pays child support for and he absolutely adores luke

Second off, you thought lucifer and beel were scary when it comes to protecting their family if someone hurt them

Well, mammon is terrifying

So, mammon is minding his business, ya know, doing things the avatar of greed does

And his kid has come home and goes straight to their room

And mammon was kinda hyper fixated on some shit, so obviously, levi pops in the guys room and tells him his kid is home

Now you have mammon running to his kid to ask them about their day

And he hears them sobbing, face down on their bed Disney style

Now mammon is very concerned

‘Whats wrong?’ He asked his kid

They kinda cry harder, so mammon holds them close, as he did with his brothers once

Once they calm down they tell mams what happened and they’ve been hurt and they think he’s ashamed

He pretty much shuts down the idea just like lucifer has cuz uno: he loves his kid dos: he ain’t ashamed , and he loves them and tres: they’re his kid, so they will be powerful in due time

You and i both know that mammon is the best at controlling his anger, and he’d rather comfort his child than commit a felony

But don’t you think he forgotten oh no he hasn’t

After a few days of regaining the child’s happiness, and they are better than ever

Thats when he strikes

With the help of his crows, he manages to locate them bitches who put the idea that his kid is weak cuz they have half human blood in their head

And lets say that those hoes are now resting in pieces

There is a reason why mammon is the second strongest avatar

Do not underestimate his power

Leviathan

Levi was watching tsl for the umpteenth time

Annd he got bored, so he decided to see if his kid was back home

He likes watching anime with them, i mean it does get boring alone sometimes

He saw them walk out the door, and he ran to ask if they wanna play a game or something

And his kid be like ‘🥲 sure’

Levi is bamboozled and would like an explanation

He wants to know why they look like that

Like who hurt you? Why you upset 🤨

The kid tries to lie or some shit

Babes. Levi is the grand admiral for a reason

🎶Why you lying why you always lying🎶

Once he got the truth out of his kid this mans envy comes out

‘Its not fair, they shouldn’t treat you like this– don’t they know that you’re my kid? How dare they hurt you?!’

And now he’s holding his kid close to him : a way to prevent him from flooding the house

Which also meant that he unknowingly turned into his demon form, meaning his tail is also hugging his kid

I mean what else do you expect with a tail get your head out the gutter

Now once he calmed down, he reassured his kid that ‘these fucktards were jealous of you, that you are powerful and who cares if youve got half human blood?🤨 you can still beat their asses no problem’

He’s out here making them think of all the things they could do to those harassers once their power increases

Unfortunately this kid also does watch whatever anime they have over there with levi, meaning they are cultured

They read and watched death note, so now we have a little light yagami waiting for their power to awaken

Levi doesn’t have to do much to the harassers really

You thought Lotan was huge?

The Leviathan makes Lotan look like a butterfly

Satan

Oh satan, satan, satan

Damn

I don’t even know what to say

This man was doing his daily things

Read a book, check on the cats, read a book, check on the cats, go to the cat cafe, read a book

You get the point

Satan is already a whole menace on his own

Imagine him and his kid together

They wreck shit together, be cynical together, prank lucifer together, hunt down assholes together

They’re basically best friends

This kid, being a lot like satan, doesn’t cry easily

So imagine the shock when satan comes home from petting some stray cats

His menace of child- crying while reading a book

So he asks them whats the matter

‘Who do i need to defenestrate?’

So kid is like ‘ah no nothing is wrong this book is just sad’

Decent excuse that satan actually bought

So he decides to sit with them to comfort them, yanno

Sometimes books can be depressing

Until he reads the front cover

Which reads ‘Heidi’

Sure some parts are sad, but boi it is not enough for you to cry

So he’s a little confused

‘Are you lying?’

‘No’ they say while not giving eye contact

Lies.

How does he know?

He just does

‘You’re lying. What happened ?’

Obviously, they end up fessing up how they feel like satan is ashamed and how they are weak cuz of the human blood in them

Cue angry satan noises

Like levi, he got mad for his kid

You know them little book towers in his room

That shit went tumbling down

Hoes very mad

So ✨reassurance time✨

After the child is happy, feeling better, he goes on a rampage

Massive rampage

He uses his connections and all

Made use of everything he has

Some point he roped lucifer’s own connections in

Nobody can escape the wrath of Satan

Asmodeus

The last thing anyone should be doing is insulting his kid

Ik his child is taught self love from a young age

Anyone who tries to make his kid self loathe ends up on the blacklist

Asmo’s kid is obviously real confident in almost everything

So imagine the shock of asmo when he sees his kid bawling their eyes out with a tub of ice cream in their lap

Now this kid normally cries dramatically and makes it known

But they hid away in asmos room, all is not well.

We now have an avatar of sin fretting over his kid, wiping tears and shit ya know

And asks what the matter is

So when asmo hears what comes out of his kids mouth, he goes haywire

About to go crazy

But keeps it in

Asmodeus inhales and exhales, to calm himself down

‘Darling, your my child, and you are a thousand times more powerful than those idiots. How about we have a bath and watch some movies, hmm?’

Is what he says

Since his kid absolutely hates violence (they find it a waste of time) , he cant really say what he about to do

So he decides to leave the matter till later and chooses to comfort the kid ( while also finding out about who made his kid upset)

And asmo manages to locate them hoes who hurt his kid

He may not like getting his hands dirty but he sure as hell will do it for his child

He is a ruler of hell after all

Beelzebub

Whoever hurt this mans kid is daft

Anyways

His child was found outside gardening

And beel was passing by till he hears his child speaking to the plants

‘Maybe they think that will make the plants grow, cute’

Or so he thought

My guy came closer and heard the poor kid crying to the plants saying shit like ‘im a disgrace’

So he scoops them up in his arms and holds them close.

He decides to distract them and calm them down, drink some water and the cookie he had ( he trying his best)

Among the things that he shows the child is his demon form

The child was always fascinated with the sound of his wings

The soft buzz of his wings calmed them down, and their cheeks was stuffed of the cookies, looking very much like a hamster

Beel asks them of why they were crying and it turns out that they thought he was ashamed of them being a half blood

Which is an idea that ya boy shut down completely

We all know that beel is quite blunt with what he says, and so he asked them who put the idea in his head

When the tell him the kids names, he quite frankly says ‘they don’t amount to anything if they find happiness in hurting others feelings - don’t think much of them too much okay, they wont bother you anymore’

Damn right they didnt

Because they were dead

What can i say? His stomach is bottomless pit, he may as well make use of it

Belphegor

Now, why would you do that?

What possessed you to target Belphegor’s child?

The kid of the homicidal maniac

The kid of the man who is insane

The kid of a guy who strangled you

Clearly you haven’t thought this through

So the child is up in the attic, in a corner, sulking

We all know that belphie has problems, but these problems are set aside to see what is going on with his kid

Belphegor just sits there, next to the child, and pulls them to his lap, stroking the kids hair-hes being very wholesome at the moment

After a few minutes, the kid has their tension eased from their shoulders, feeling very calm after all

‘Do you want to talk about it?’ is what belphie asks

He knew the second the kid stilled in his lap something has happened

Surprisingly, he tries to coax the kid into telling him what happened, but like also saying they don’t need to tell him if they don’t want to

We all know he a nosy prick and he definitely wants to know

The second he finds out, the temperature in the attic drops

However, he acts like all is well and continues humming a lullaby to his kid

If the lullaby was a sleeping spell in disguise, the child will never know

After the kid falls asleep and belphie tucks them to bed, he leaves the room and decides to take a stroll outside to calm his nerves

Once he felt very calm he decides to go back home

Lets say his efforts of trying not to cause murder went down the drain

Why, you may ask?

Its because he saw them dudes who thought they could make his kid feel bad about themselves

Now, I like to think belphegor has some sort of hypnotic power, whether to immobilise someone or to make them sleep, he has it

His voice is soft and sweet, a melody of its own kind

The people seem to answer; their bodies moving towards an alleyway, eyes glazed over

Belphegor stalks by, and the song he sings starts increasing in tempo, danger screams in the hearts of the hypnotised demons

The melody stops to an abrupt halt

The demons wake up from what they thought was a slumber, and they see-

They see the avatar of sloth looming over them, in all his glory

They do not what they have done to invoke the wrath of the youngest

…

They are liars

They knew whose child that was, yet they didn’t care for the whispers of disbelief around them, nor did they care for the consequences

So, now they, the demons, pressed against the wall of the dark alleyway, lay there

Eyes glazed over, hands squeezing their necks, living through their worst nightmares

Those whispers of disbelief these unfortunate demons heard were warnings

The Avatar of Sloth, who looking down on the with pure ecstasy, is truly a monster

Why??