#mama we looooove you…

[mammomlette]

Pretty sure this is confirmed to not be canon (though that could just be my brain playing tricks on me and making me think I heard it) but I like to imagine that there isn’t a happy birthday song in the devildom, so when MCs birthday roles around and they had heard briefly that they sing happy birthday in the human world, nobody knows what to sing.

The angels are trying to harmonise on something which Asmo ends up trying to join in with, lucifer is either just speaking or showing off, diavolo and mammon are just yelling in random tunes “HAAAAAAPPY BIRTHDAYYYY”, Levi is singing something from one of his shows…

Until they settle on something simple. Something very demure:

“MC we loooovee you.”

“..?”

“MC we loooooove you.”

“…”

“MC we looooove you”

“..!”

“Mc we loooooooove y-“

LIKE YKNOW “MAMA WE LOOOOVE YOU?” JUST IMAGINE LIKE, 11-14 GROWN AS MEN(or woman, thirteen) AND A LITTLE KID CIRCLING YOU AND SINGING THAT. COMPLETELY MONOTONOUS, SOME STRAIGHT FACES AND SOME WAYYYY TO BRIGHT SMILES FOR THE LACK OF CHEER IN THE SONG. BEING TANTED BY THE CAKE BEING HELD BY THE DIY CHOIR IN FRONT OF YOU. Nightmare fuel.

[abyssalfaith]

Astro moon obs :)

As I have known many of them, aries moon can be very childish, they kind of have the emotional capcity of a 3 years old. That being said, they are extremely loyal in friendship and love and are a ride or die.

Gemini moon often are multi langual. They are very smart in the learning of langage and new discipline. The fact that their head is in constant turmoil make them able to multitask a lot. Multi tasking is also often a way to avoid their emotion.

Pisces moon can be a big no if the chart is bad aspected. If it is the case, the native can be prone to mental disorder associated to mood swings such as borderline or bipolar trouble (please if you feel like your emotion are too much, see a mental specialist, do not stay alone :) <3 )

taurus moon love langage are often cooking or gifting things to the loved one. Their moon being rules by venus they constantly need to spoil the other one.

Sagittarius moon are feral. Black humour, sex and racist jokes, very judgy but they often do worse than the object of their judgement. As a gemini moon, the opposition feel funny to me because we are very alike, i looooove them lmaooooo

I do not know a lot of aquarius moon, just one, and he is an aquarius stellium. I like him platonically but i am not able to get him, what he is up to, what does he like ? He is a fog for sure... aquarius vibes for sure.

Sorry to the scorpio, libra, virgo and leo moon : I do not know these placement enough to speak about it...

Capricorn moon can be considered stern but often they are the most joyful poeple ever ! I think that it's due to the hardship that often happen to them, they know that life can be harder than what they have, I see these poeple enjoying every little think because they know God can take it any moment.

Cancer moon are often mama's boy (men and women), they need to stay near their family, being helped by them or being a help to them. Family anytime and anywhere, at all cost ! (Can be too much)

12th house moon : daydreamer and escapist, can be prone to be delulu because they live too much in their head. Derealisation can be a problem,

10th house moon : obsessing with work, workalcoolic, delulu about their capacities and their ambitions. YOU NEED TO LET IT GOOOOOOOOOO.

Share your placement :)

Love, Abyssal Faith

[snowy-vee]

Pretend I'm a stranger

n/a: this is a mini-series of Tiktok Couple Trends w/Ellie that I looooove and I also wanted to write fluff moments!! Also we can slowly see how their relationship develops slowly, this will be short chapter, not longs btw.

INDEX

“Okay, babe, one moment,” Ellie said, setting up the phone. “So, we are at Target and I’m going to pretend to be a stranger trying to flirt with you, yeah?”

“Mhm,” you agree while looking at some candles for the apartment.

“Hey, mama,” she comes up to you with a smirk, rubbing her hands together like a total player.

“Hey,” you say nicely, trying not to laugh when her smile drops.

“Why are you saying ‘hey’ for? You have a girl already; don’t say ‘hey’ to nobody.”

“I’m trying to be nice?”

“Don’t be! Again, do it right,” she goes to the phone and cuts to start recording a second take. “Hi, pretty thing.”

You ignore her this time and keep looking at the candles; she nods satisfied.

“This candle smells just as good as you,” she grabs one, smelling it a little bit. It does smell truly good.

“For real? Let me smell it,” you try to grab it, brushing her fingers for a second, but she screams.

“Why are you touching another girl’s hand?!”

“I just wanted to smell the candle; I was not flirting.” Your laugh can be heard throughout the whole aisle; Ellie furrows her brows as she gazes at you from top to bottom.

“Oh, you ain’t going to shop alone again; next thing I know you’re leaving me for some candles.”

“Stop the drama, oh my god!” You fan your face; this was rather amusing. “Let’s try again; I swear I’ll do it better.”

Ellie shakes her head in disappointment while cuts the video and presses record again. “Well, hello there, beauti-”

“I’M MARRIED!” You scream very loud, and burst out laughing the next second. Ellie joins your laughter after she’s out of her shock and goes to end the video.

“I loved that; we should get married,” she said, saving her phone in her back pocket.

“First, help me buy things for our apartment, yeah?”

[mcytanti]

manehare analysis i looooove this freakish duo.

on the surface this team seems very sudden and doesn't make sense i mean they were enemies for such a long time, however, i think they make Perfect Sense Actually.

manehare makes sense because both of them gives what the other wants while acknowledging the place they are coming from. they have a distrust now but i think if they play it right they can have something that lasts across seasons.

we got confirmation today manepear really just loves his little chunguses. (his comment about being a mama bear really stands out to me it was awesome). we saw it earlier in the server with zam, then later with wemmbu and bacon. but all 3 of them didnt satisfy mane in the way he wanted. zam was friendly with the brothers but he was for the most part self sufficient, mane let wemmbu into the bandits thinking he would have to be taken care of but it turns out wemmbu was secretly good at pvp and while he lazy could take care if himself in a fight. bacon never wanted to play ball with mane and refused his advances.

however kab is perfeeeect for mane, she needs his help and his protection but she isnt lazy like wemmbu was. she's intelligent, cunning, and willing to learn so he gets all if the ego boosting of taking care of someone who wants his help but none of the annoyance of a resource drainer (sorry wemmbu but its true 😭).

mane is also perfect for kab, he's filling the void clown has left.

since the start of the season kab has wanted a powerful ally who can stand beside her when she wants them to, someone who can guide her, but someone who is also willing to crush her enemies when asked. she thought clown would be that but when given the opportunity he's been lack luster in the role. she then turned to zam as a guide and a teammate, but he didn't want to be her guiding light and thought it was far too sudden to team plus he was unwilling to do her dirty work so kazam fell apart.

mane, however, has a deep blood lust (wanting to death ban all the revived people is the most notable example of this) so he's perfectly fine with carrying out kab's plans as long as it means they agree on killing. he's also willing to train kab without her having to prove herself like she has to with clown (its in my personal opinion kab would have never proven herself to clown. not because she isn't good but because clown simply isnt interested in her development but thats another matter).

in my opinion the 14 killings is actually really good for this team! it means that kab cannot idolize mane the same way she did clown or zam because she knows that no matter what, mane is dangerous, he's able to kill her and is more than willing to kill her. and for mane despite the 14 killings kab still being willing to work with him must give him a crazy amount of validation because it proves that no matter what happened before kab needs him now

i think as long as the focus on their shared goal they can build a real trust with each other. not like a "i trust you not to kill me" trust but a trust the older lifesteal pairs have, that "i know how you think i know you inside and out and no matter what happens we will comeback together" trust.

however they still have all the potential in the world to fall apart in a pretty spectacular way. like if one of them gets too paranoid and betrays the other, or if they're influenced to betray by people outside the dynamic, or maybe kab's planning to betray from the start and we're all fools for thinking manehare could ever work, or simply losing sight of their shared goal and becoming enemies again. all those things could still happen!

no matter what i just love manehare as a duo. they indulge each other's deepest desires but they have so much potential to fuck it all up it a horrible terrible way. its such a careful balance with them im so excited to see where they go from here

[m1suri]

Newt with a Gen Z Teen!Y/N

Sypnosis: Y/N ends up time traveling back to 1926 on accident during a freak event with a Time Machine she found. Unfortunately, due to the laws of time travel, she is now forever stuck there and cannot go back to her original time period. Dumbledore ends up putting her on the the famous Newt Scamander, the famous(and only) Magizoologist. How does he react to that?

P.S. This takes place during Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Newt meets Y/N before the events of the movie and it’s basically just Y/N if she was in the first movie. Y/N is using she/her pronouns and is 16!

┍━━━━━»•» 🌺 «•«━┑

Newt was quite surprised when Dumbledore had told him that he was now in charge of a 16 year old girl from the future to say the least

When Dumbledore first introduced you guys, he was very sky and awkward around you

He’d barley let a word out and most of the time, you’d be the one continuing the conversation with him

Pickett was just silently observing as this random teenager was trying to speak to Newt, trying to figure out her deal

It took a little bit Newt soon started warming up to you, much to your relief

He had taught you all about his creatures and how to take care of them which means that they officially like you now since you’ve been sweet to their mama and taking care of them

I’d say that’s a win win in my book

He found the way you dressed when he first met you kinda weird but obviously you had to change your style since you didn’t wanna get caught

One of the things that definitely confused him the most about you is when you begin speaking in pure brain rot to him and he’s just like

“What?”

Funniest pranks to pull on him is to just randomly start speaking brainrot to him outta nowhere and just watch his reaction

Sometimes you make fun of his British accent when he talks which he finds it weird but never says anything about it

Teddy loooooves stealing your necklace that you made with the pop tabs you took from all the cans of soda and energy drinks you’ve drank thanks to school

Newt has to always force Teddy to give it back to you and makes sure that none of the pop tabs are missing from it

You two have gotten so close over the past few months that you began to see him almost like a father to you since he took care of you and such

You had ended up going with him to New York to help him free Frank since he didn’t want you to be left alone back in Britain

You also just wanted to simply say goodbye to Frank and watch him be free

What was supposed to be a simple trip and back turned into a mess when a man by the name of Jacob accidentally takes Newts case and let’s all of his creatures out

Although the only good think that came out of that was meeting Tina

It’s gets even worse when an obscurus comes into play and now it’s going around and killing a person and destroying buildings

Newt is slowly starting to regret bringing you along for the ride since you’ve never felt with an Obscurus before and you had no magic

Now Newt, you, Jacob, and Tina are on a mission to find the missing creatures and return them safely to Newts suitcase

Not before making a quick pit stop though

Now you met Queenie

And by the looks of it, the longer we were there the more obvious her and Jacob became with their pretty obvious liking towards one another

Newt highly discourages you getting involved with them since based on all the times you’ve ranted to him about your love life, your definitely not one to give relationship advice

┕━»•» 🌺 «•«━━━━━┙

That’s it for this part, I might make a part two seeing as though I didn’t get quite through the first movie very well yet. Two posts in one day is definitely a personal best. Let me know if you guys do want a part 2!! ^^

[rapha-reads]

IWTV rewatch

Season 1 episode 4 [The Ruthless Pursuit of Blood With All a Child's Demanding] - part 2/2

- [Claudia] "We do like mortals do. We fight, we eat, we laugh, we sleep, we love. And then the phone rang last night. And all the easy times stopped." - ooof. How to destroy familial domesticity: bring back the real world.

I love, love, loooove Louis' coldness and casual cruelty at his mother's wake. And looooove the family solidarity. Oh, Daddy Lou's fighting with his sister? Time to show our fangs and have his back.

- Oooh, a Lestat and Claudia scene! Dad teaching his kid all the true, important ways to make it in the world. And accidentally making her realise some things she'll never get to have, stuck as she is as a young teenager. But the blood kinda makes up for it tho.

- "Uncle Les says I gotta practice killin' both the one and the plus one at the same time, but I came away understanding something else tonight. I can't quite put it into words, but it's like something opened up in my head, in my body. I've been 18 for 7 months now, and it's time I started acting like it."

Aaaaand there it is. Happy hunting indeed. Happy until the reality hits back...

"I've lost my appetite, I can't sleep!" - welcome to hormones. Can't say I know first-hand what you're going through but good luck. Oh, no, but this is waaay too adorable. The giggling and the skipping and the flowers and the staying on the balcony waiting for Charlie to look up...

- "Everyone in my family looks younger than their age." - yeah that's one way to put it I guess.

Aaaand exit Charlie, pursued by a terrified horse. Taking this opportunity to say a lil something about how book!vampires are basically asexual in the way that their desire and pleasure express themselves through the blood, blood drinking and blood sharing. While the show being a visual media for a modern audience decided to make human sexuality also a part of vampire sexuality, all while keeping the blood as this irresistible force and the source of everything. Don't really have an opinion one way or another, except to say, please we need more asexual representation that still shows that ace people can find and express desire and pleasure outside of sexuality.

- Lestat taking on the ugly role of teaching Claudia about control and how it's hard for vampires to make lasting connections with mortals... Parenting's hard.

- [Louis] "Vivid writer, isn't she" - I'm kinda glad we don't get Claudia's own words about Charlie's death, knowing the writers they would have given us another lyrical prose that would have made us all bawl our eyes out.

The way Daniel is visibly impacted and heartbroken reading Claudia's diaries: he is deeply compassionate. And you can't read people and write about them without a certain level of compassion and even empathy. "Anne Frank meets Stephen King" indeed.

- [Louis] "Claudia was... everything." - ouch. Break my heart, won't you. It's the way Louis is physically struggling to talk about her, the way he needs the pebbles of his zen garden beneath his feet to anchor himself solidly enough to talk about her.

- "It's funnier when they fight in French. And diary, you'd think a girl whose mama died in childbirth, whose daddy gave her away to a mean old auntie who beat her 'cause no one said she couldn't, who died in a fire but came back by the blood magic of two demons, well, you'd think that girl wouldn't know what funny was. But you'd be wrong, diary. And if I told you, dumb diary, that that same girl was being raised to kill like her demon parents did, to take two souls a day so she could stay in the same flat-chested, hairless-crotched 14-year-old baby doll body as her mind and spirit turn 19, 20, 25, 63, 358, you dumb, dumb diary, I bet you'd say to anyone who'd listen 'Fun? Fun? How does she even get up in the morning?' Well, let me tell you something, you stuck-up, flower-covered, three-dollar fancy fucking paper diary, I'm doing just fine. And how do I know that? 'Cause the first man I killed called me the devil, and the last boy I killed, the last boy I'll ever love in this world, called me an angel. So that means I'm on the right path. And that means there's so much more fun out there to have. I'm just getting started."

THE INTENSITY, DAMN.

The crescendo of Claudia's voice overlayed by the music and echoed in the angrier and angrier words. Wow, I need a minute.

Between the "losing my mind in the coffin" scene, that "madwoman in the attic walking down from the attic" scene and the "the sun is a deadly laser" scene, someone needs to give Bailey several awards. And the writing team needs these awards too.

Show!Claudia actually has a backstory, not very detailed but still there, a miserable, painful human life, 14 years of misery and pain - she had a life, she had experiences before becoming a vampire; unlike book!Claudia who was 5 when she was turned, told Louis she couldn't remember her human life before being Louis and Lestat's, and doesn't have her own narration in between Louis' recollections.

Here, the addition of the diaries to the way the story is told not only allows a third party, a third perspective that's no more and no less of an unreliable narrator as Louis' voice, but it also, and I think more importantly, allows for Claudia to speak for herself. She isn't anymore just a footnote in the messy romance of Louis and Lestat. She is her own person, in her own narrative, with her own agency and life. And that's a huge difference between the two versions of Claudia: eternally-5-year-old Claudia couldn't have her own agency, no matter that she was really 40 in a child's body, because that child's body was more of a damnation, a cage, than a teenager's body. At 14 and with make-up, fashion, body language and speech, Claudia can make herself look marginally older, and thus can reclaim some of that agency, of that control. Therefore the issue comes not from the fact that Claudia needs at least one adult to have that agency by proxy, but from the fact that she might never pass for older than 18 and will be taken advantage of. As we'll soon see.

Also she was right, last boy she loved, but not last person, we stan a bisexual murder deranged queen.

And I did tell Lestat, that roof window is a structural failure.

Well, welcome to the Claudia show. That was one hell of an entrance. Crowd's seated for the next part, "Claudia goes Wild party in the Mississippi".

episode 1 | episode 2 | episode 3 | part 1 | episode 5 | episode 6 | episode 7

[imaginespazzi]

Nivi! How are you, bestie? I'm just here for a quick drop-by again, just to check in and say hi.

Life hasn't slowed down much the past few weeks so I still haven't had time to do a long review but please know that every GH chapter is like a shot of serotonin straight into my veins.

You had so many good lines in Chapter 10 that gave me a good chuckle btw, i loved it.

Also, I'm never ever getting tired of Paige-Azzi-Stephie scenes. Like ugh, this lil family makes my day always. Brooo, Stephie's possessiveness! She a little master manipulator huh cause this:

“Mama,” Stephie says loudly, cutting Paige off as she turns to Azzi, “do you know if Aunty Chérie is in town?”

“I was just thinking,” Stephie barrels on casually, “maybe we could go see her and she could give me cuddles and kisses since app-ently Miss Buecks is too busy to give them to me-”

^This was absolutely DIABOLICAL from that little girl hahahah. She knows EXACTLY what to say to get what she wants from her Miss Buecks. Like mother, like daughter truly.

And our Drew cameo, it's finally here! Oh boy, the confrontation is really gonna be something, i already know. Yeah for sure I think Drew's gonna have slight feelings of jealousy or yearning in a way that Stephie gets to experience what he missed out on, but more than anything I think he is gonna be super protective of her and not wanting her to ever go through what he went through when Paige and Azzi broke up.

I do wonder what Azzi's reaction will be if and when they finally get around to talking about the "plan" in place of Angie potentially taking over P's role and the team maybe no longer needing P after this one season. I know P says it's nothing they can't work through , but well we all know how much of an overthinker Azzi is and so she's prolly already gonna jump straight ahead to scenarios of well what's that gonna look like if P has to move to the OTHER SIDE OF THE COUNTRY and how that's gonna affect Stephie. Ugh, the angst is about to ANGST, i feel it.

Anyhoo, i guess this is kinda a medium-sized review? As a small token of my appreciation haha.

As always, thanks for taking the time to feed our souls with your talent! Can't wait for the next (whenever that may be)!

P.S: I think I'm rooting for a Liberty-Sun finals series. I do love the Lynx and I know how much you love Phee so I wouldn't mind if it was the Lynx (and I think it will prolly be them anyway over the Sun) but I do have such a soft spot for CT and I looooove Nai, so I am rooting for them over Minny, sorry babes. I'm rooting for NY though so at least there's that!

Oh and I watched Geno's media availability today, and he didn't seem all too impressed after the first practice session lol but it is the first one and there's a lot of new pieces so like he said, it'll just take time. But it better take less time than it did last season cause idk if I can suffer through another painful non-conference stretch. ALSO grandpa seemed annoyed at having to be cautious with Azzi LMAO, like if it was up to him, she's back on that court playing as much as possible ASAP. Imma need him to chill on that though. Like no one wants to see princess back on court more than me (well, maybe apart from Azzi herself and blondie) BUT her knees better be 200% before she's back on there!

I said "quick drop-by" and look what we got instead - typical hahah.

OK imma stop now. Love ya, bestie. Take care of yourself always! 💗

-🙋‍♀️

BESTIE I MISSED YOU I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU <3

Babes I get you don't even worry about it. Life is gonna do life things and whenever you have the time to do one again (hopefully I write again lol) I will be seated to read it!

But I'm glad you've been enjoying GH.

Honestly I love writing Stephie so much. She's just an evil genius and she's so smart and perfect and funny which off course she is, she's literally mini-Pazzi.

Ugh babes you always just get my writing because that's exactly how Drew feels towards Stephie. There's definitely some wistfulness there seeing her get that "family" that was in way stolen from him but he's already enamored by this little girl and he would never want her to face what he has.

Azzi's reaction is going to depend on when she finds out and how she finds out tee hee :) I've given y'all so much fluff, it's only fair I give the angst fiends some angst soon.

Well I hate to break it to you babes, but no Liberty-Sun finals for and you and I fear it's looking quite grim for the Liberty in general right now. But at least we'll always have MVPhee too root for!

Oh god I didn't have time to react to Geno's availability but I fear grandpa did not real squelch any of my fears about this team. My biggest side-eye was actually his lack of complementariness about Jana and I'm a little fearful for my frontcourt where apparently Ice (??) is looking like the best player?

He's definitely dying to have Azzi back out there but if that girl plays more than 15 minutes in at least her first 5 games, we will be having words! I have Farleigh-Dickinson circled on my calender for the earliest possible game we can see her and that would give her a couple of easy game before the team would really need her so he better not play her more than 15 if she does play then.

[eggcompany]

Diego's a good Dog

Diego really just needs some time to be mama's good pup. Eudora indulges him. He's just such a good boy.

Or a fic where Diego get fucked and gets called a good boy for his mama Eudora.

“Um d-dora?” Diego said in a shy small voice. 

“What Diego? What do you want?” Eudora said snappily. This caused Diego to turn into himself. His shoulder slumped down and he looked at his shoes. He usually didn’t mind shouting but it always upset him when he was floating just on the edge of his headspace. 

Of course the detective noticed. 

“Oh sorry baby... I didn’t mean to snap at you. You feelin tender?” Eudora always asked Diego if he was almost in subspace in different ways. Feeling tender, soft, squishy, puffy, needy, etc. 

“Yeah... I am. I’m-m fee-feel-feelin a w-way” Diego said and picked at his hands.

He knew what he wanted but he couldn’t say it. He wanted to be stripped and washed and snuggled and touched all over and he wanted to have his chest petted and feel his master’s nails on his back. But all he could say was he was feeling a way. 

Eudora pulled him up into a good hug. She laid a gentle kiss on his forehead and then pulled back enough to give him a chaste kiss. 

“Diego, how about we have some playtime. Do you want that? You want mama?” Eudora said in her silly ‘good doggie’ voice as they called it. She looked into Diego’s warm brown eyes. She smiled as she watched him melt. His shoulders relaxed and his face melted as he nodded. He flicked his eyes up to meet his master’s for only a second before looking down again. 

Diego really needed puppy time. Puppies didn’t have to talk or worry about money or their families or-

“You’re thinking too loud, bub. How about we get you out of these icky people clothes and get you all washed up?” Eudora said and slid her hand down his arm to grasp his hand. She could tell he was already slipping into his dumb little headspace. 

Diego nodded again. Mama always knew what to do. She always knew what he wanted and needed and always gave it to him. 

She took his hand and led him to their bathroom. She stripped him quickly and efficiently. He was pliant under her hands. Moving when she needed to move him too. She stood and looked at him for a moment. 

“You’re such a pretty puppy. My handsome little man.” Eudora said and scratched behind Diego’s ears. His eyes crossed for a moment and his mouth dropped open a bit. His breath was punched out of him and he smiled, open mouthed. This always got him. Always made him melt down into a puddle. 

Then she told him to sit right where he was. “Sit”. Diego obediently dropped down to his knees onto the dark tile floor. It felt cold against his knees. The floor was always so cold in here. 

Eudora looked at him for a moment while she collected the special soap they used for these scenes. She pulled out a shampoo and a body wash and finally she laid out his special blue dog comb. She watched him fidget on his knees. She knew the tile was cold but he only got to sit on the floor during these scenes unless he was invited onto the bed or couch. She thought for a moment before she said- 

“Oh your butt puppy. Your knees don’t need to be achy.” She knew he wouldn’t like the cold tile on his cock and ass and especially not his balls but she didn’t want his knees to hurt… yet. 

This was how it started when she planned on really working him. He slipped onto his butt and sat criss cross. He gasped as his tender parts met the frigid flooring. He shivered slightly in the chill of his nudity. She was about to cup himself just for some relief from the stabby cold feeling but he heard the faucet start. He looked up and watched Eudora put a few drops of the shampoo into the water. 

Diego perks up; he loooooves bubble baths! Bubbles means mama gets in too! He watched and smiled and started to fidget around, completely forgetting the cold he was just feeling. He sat and stayed where he was put and smiled. He watched his mama roll up the sleeves of her button up shirt and grab a few towels and put them on the closed lip of the toilet. 

Soon the bath was full and Eudora knelt down on the side of the tub. Was she not going to get in..? Usually bath time was a shared time. Diego frowned. He liked getting to lay on mama as she washed him. 

“Come. In the tub now puppy.” Eudora said and Diego obediently crawled on his hands and knees over to the tub and climbed in. Eudora smiled lightly as Diego dunked his head under the water for a long moment. When Diego emerged and looked at her and whined she patted his thigh under the water. 

“No complaining. I don’t want to smell like wet dog. When you get dry you can… play by yourself while I shower. Be good and let’s get you clean.” Eudora said and Diego let her wash him. She first washed his hair then body. She spent a moment to slip her finger, just to the second knuckle, into his hole. Diego let out a squawk but bit his lip and blushed when she pulled it out and fondled his heavy balls. 

“Out. No shaking.” The dom said when she saw Diego turn his head to shake the water off. He ducked his head and let her rub an old fluffy towel over his head and the rest of him. She didn’t say anything when she opened the door. Diego jumped slightly when she slapped his ass as he walked through the door into their bedroom. 

Eudora kept the door cracked as she showered but she knew Diego was already entertaining himself. 

“Oh poor little puppy baby. Poor thing. You can’t take it can you? It’s just too big for your tight little hole? I know you want it in but it just doesn’t fit. Yet. Maybe with some more practice you can have the big one. You can have your favorite one now though so come on. Come ride mama.” Eudora said to the struggling puppy on the floor. She had walked into the room to see Diego breathing hard with teary eyes as he struggled to take in his big toy. Diego spent most of their scenes trying to get that toy inside. She had quickly thrown on a pair of plain black boyshort underwear and a black tank top. 

Diego whined loudly and reached down to feel how much he had left. He really thought he could take the big toy this time! He used lots of lube and stretched with four fingers and used the smaller one to stretch even more! Diego really really wanted it! Diego was practically in tears. He felt let down and disappointed. 

It was just so thick and so long. He could barely get the tip in when he first got it, now he could manage about four inches. That’s where he was now, four inches down, kneeling on the floor, trying to sit on it. He felt the large section that was slick outside his body and looked up at his mama. A tear slipped out the edge of his eye. He wanted it so bad but also he felt so overwhelmed.

Diego sniffled as he got pulled up onto the bed. He smiled a bit when he saw his thick leather collar sitting next to them on the bed. Eudora slipped the heavy weight around his neck, not too tight though because if it was tight it made Diego nervous. The collar was about the comfort of the weight and the heft of ownership. 

Eudora positioned him to straddle one of her thighs. He poked his bottom lip out and she kissed it and scratched behind his ears. He bent down to kiss her and he made happy little noises as she licked into his willing mouth. He closed his eyes and relaxed as she licked across his teeth and sucked on his tongue. He felt gummy and loose as she pulled away. He bent and let his head drop down onto her shoulder. He was so subdrunk on it all. The surrounded feeling, warm and loved. Eurdora ran her hands down his back to rest and knead at his ass. 

“Oh poor baby. Poor little di. Don’t worry we’ll try again later okay? You’ll be able to fit it eventually. For now look what I have for you.” The cop says softly and gestures down at her thigh where a small harness rests with Diego’s favorite little vibrator is positioned. Diego looked down and his cock jumped. 

Diego perked up and moved so he could reach back and slip the small toy into himself. He easily sat down onto it and smiled, it always fit into him so perfectly. Eudora smiled and rubbed her hands across his stomach, purposefully avoiding his heavy erection, he ran up until she could rub and tug at his nipples. 

Diego moaned and shoved down onto her thigh, silently begging for her to use her remote to turn the vibe on. Eudora hits his thigh and scolds him. 

“Patience! Do not be greedy. Slutty pup.” She said but turned the vibrator onto the third of six levels. Diego moaned loudly and started to pant. His tongue lolled out the side of this mouth and his eyes crossed. This was his favorite toy for a reason. It always sat so nicely against his ‘cute spot’. His cock was dripping with precum as he ground down and wiggled his hips around. 

“You’re so pretty. Such a good boy. My good boy. Take what you need baby. Take it. You look so pretty sitting on your toy like this. My perfect pretty boy.” Eudora praised him as she scratched down his chest until she ended up at his cock. Diego whined loudly and yelled out when she wrapped one hand around his erection and let her other hand rub and play with his balls. 

“Almost there. I know you’re so close, Diego. Come for me, baby. Come for mama.” Eudora said. Diego fell apart. He moaned loudly and screamed as Eudora worked him through it. She let go of his testicles and rubbed his tummy as gushes of cum flooded from the red tip of his cock. He panted and whined when she continued to rub him after he finished. 

Eudora turned the vibe off and helped Diego lift up off of it and lay down next to her. She put the sticky vibe on the bedside and put away the thigh harness. She brought him a bottle of water and changed her shirt. 

“Puppy, how do you feel?” She said as she lounged against the pillows next to the still trembling man, she ran her fingers through his short hair. Diego looked up at her with big glazed over eyes. 

“I-I love you” He said in a yell roughened voice. He looked so vulnerable. 

“I love you too baby. I love you so much. But how do you feel?” She said again and watched him take small sips of water. 

“Um… smushy.” He said and flicked his eyes away from his dom. She nodded. 

“That’s alright. You can feel smushy. Do you want something to eat? Want me to feed you something?” Eudora asked and rubbed at the space behind his ears. Diego sat up onto his butt and winced slightly. 

“C-can I-I have um… ce-cer-cereal. Please ma-mama” Diego said and looked up at her. 

Eudora nodded and ruffled his hair as she stood up. Cereal usually meant he wanted to be a puppy for a while longer. She would feed him and then he would go to the bathroom and take off his collar by himself. 

Eudora had to admit she felt a lot more relaxed now. 

[beannary]

Ahhh, your new update looks so wonderful! The dots-thingy we talked about looks amazing here -- having a lower opacity and/or keeping it for the background really does the trick, as well as adding some spacing between the dots and the characters to make them stand out. And using shades of grey to differentiate elements? Perfect.

"the nitty-gritty details"?? I love Donnie talking like Big Mama. If this is something you've done before, I still wanna point it out lol

My favourite panels:

I am sooo reblogging it on my new TMNT sideblog lol

Also, what program/app do you use for making the comic? Do you draw on a tablet or do you use a PC and a graphic tablet? And how do you do your lineart? It looks so beautiful and so clean. I looooove it.

Keep going <3

aw wow thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!! and yeah i was really trying to sort of take what i attempted in the previous update but make it look a bit better, so i just did a lot of looking at what other tmnt artists have done and also looking at some like tutorials for greyscale comics and i ended up with this!!!

and yeah those panels were actually some of my favorites to draw ksldjhfalkjdshf specifically the first one you attached to the ask i had such a blast with that one

i am trying to like make donnie speak a bit more like big mama but a lot of the time i just forget salkdfjhlkasjdhf or i have a hard time incorporating her speech patterns into his way of talking but im working on making my dialogue better so hopefully i can incorporate that some more!

and i use clip studio paint! for lineart i just have my stabilization on suuuuuuuuperr high or maybe its not super high? idk my stabilitzation is at 20 rn for my lineart brush and i thought it was a lot higher but i also have no reference for how much people use stabilization for their lineart so idk oh and yeah i draw on my laptop! i have a wacom tablet that i hook up to it and i draw that way!

[imichelle-l-rigby]

Reflections: Cillian Murphy’s Limited Edition

Season 3, episode 4

✨almost 2 weeks late✨

———————————————————————

*I am a music prof (predominantly classical vocalist), and I LOVE listening to Cillian’s music choices! That being said, sometimes I won’t like a song simply because of a vocalist (it’s a professional hazard - sorry!) 👩‍🏫

** The following are my own observations/opinions. We may not agree, and that’s ok! That’s what makes music fun! 😊

*** I wouldn’t say I’m well-versed in Cillian’s music preferences, but I do enjoy them (for the most part). I always wind up adding to my own playlists after listening to Cillian’s recommendations.

———————————————————————

Hi everyone, thanks for your patience! Here are my thoughts on episode 4:

🎵Set 1 (Makondi - Theme from Failure)

Makondi: percussion makes me so happy! 😊 no specific thoughts other than there needs to be more percussion songs heard in the mainstream.

Hey Dostla!: ok but the background rhythm reminds me of the “Lip Gloss” song by Lil Mama and that’s all I hear now 😂

Theme from Failure: I like the gradual building of rhythmic layers. Again, definitely inspired by minimalist/tape looping technology from the ‘60s. More importantly, this song had me rolling! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

🎤Talking Break:

Of course he prefers Autumn (or as I say, Fall, because I’m American and “leaf fall down”😂)

Of course he watches an old movie by the fire during a rain shower.

“Inane anecdote”

An exclusive!!!!

Oooohhh… playing with Ornette Coleman!

Awwww, sweet that he’s using music that his kids recommended!!

Fun - more Nina! 😊😊😊 and yes, now I wanna know why she hated this song/album.

🎵Set 2 (The Family - Time Is On My Side)

The Family: this is sooooo “trendy” for Nina! I need to listen to more of her discography rather than singles. I’m not sure how often she went more “pop” than jazz, and now I wanna know.

Please Don’t Go: Stevie!!!!! 😍😍 his voice is sooooo smooth! I could just listen to him all the time. And I like the chord qualities in this piece - it’s not an out-of-the-box chord progression, but it’s also not cookie cutter. There’s depth to what he gives without it going overboard.

Irma Talks: yes!! 😂

Time Is On My Side: I looooove this song! I think this is a very singable range (I know that sounds weird, but a lot of songs today are in difficult ranges for most of the population. This is pretty accessible).

🎤Talking Break:

I love how he takes these big long inhales before he talks, like he’s been through a taxing day or something 😂

I haven’t heard “iteration” more than usual… 🤔

🎵Set 3 (Come Down Easy - Kim’s Sunsets)

Come Down Easy: patterned off early rock, for sure! It’s even got that whiny/tinny vocal tracking. The weird drone is cool! Idk how to describe it other than the sound of the wind when you’re driving with your car windows rolled down 😅😂

Kim’s Sunsets: interesting harmonies, but I hate the vocal qualities here! 😖😖😖 I like it instrumentally, but vocally, this is an ick!

🎤Talking Break:

Nice! Instrumental music!

My Russian is no better, no worries!

I do love old film music, and it’s interesting to hear what was being used in Soviet film music, especially! I could go on, but y’all would prob find that boring 😅

🎵Set 4 (Boys and the Sea - Muscle de sable)

Boys and the Sea: I LOVE THIS SO MUCH! The piano sounds almost like French Classical music (a lot of artistic sharing between the French and Russians at one point), and the seagull call recording is so haunting! I kinda wanna watch this film just from listening to this!

Muscle de sable: also a piece featuring random recorded sound clips! Much more modern sounding.

🎤Talking Break:

You can definitely tell his mama taught him French - he’s VERY good at it!

🎵 Set 5 (One Word - Secret Teardrops)

One Word: this is pretty fun!!! 😎 no thoughts, just synth vibes!

Secret Teardrops: I find it interesting that the vocal line is less prominent than the instruments. 🤔 granted, this is not a super skillful vocal line…

🎤Talking Break:

I’m glad you liked Secret Teardrops, Cill, but it’s not my favorite. Sorry 🤷‍♀️

Recent music!

Grief and music is such a complicated relationship.

🎵Set 6 (The Greater Wings - Mole in the Ground)

The Greater Wings: wow. This is so beautiful and touching. I’m in my feelings now.

Mole in the Ground: this transitioned so well from one song to the next! Instrumentally, it’s gorgeous. Sadly, I hate the mumble lyrics. 😖

🎤Talking Break

Ok but so many albums are dropping in my birthday this year!!!

🎵Set 7 (Your Silent Face)

Your Silent Face: very synth. And I did not expect a harmonica in the mix… 😅

🎤Talking Break

Ask a reasonable question!!!

Dude. Why jalapeños on popcorn???? Like… I passionately support all things spicy, but this is a weird one for me

HE IS SHAMING HOT DOGS. I know they’re gross mystery meat, BUT. hot dogs are part of my heritage! 😂 besides, kosher hot dogs are kinda amazing and less gross.

🎵Set 8 (The Heights)

The Heights: this reminds me of something but I can’t figure out what. Either way, this is so atmospheric. I feel like I’m back in HS/early college and life was so much simpler (until you get to the end). That has no objective value; however, that’s what I’ve got!

🎤Talking Break: (sorta)

I don’t guitar, but this is such a great story!!!

Beginning musicians are such a vibe. We all suck but are so brave at the same time. 😂 I kinda miss being a beginner.

Blue Monk: I am LOVING this! Blues picking is fab. 😎

Casbah: ooohhhh. I like this as well! The pedal point is interesting (which is hard to do) and I like how the melody dances all over the place.

🎵Set 9 (Can I Call You)

Can I Call You: why is this spooky??? 😰 in other news, the way the expected chord progression is constantly diverted is cool! And even the structure of the song keeps going in unexpected places. Well-done, but somehow reminds me of Halloween spooky times. 👍

🎤Talking Break:

I love how ppl from across the pond (is that a reasonable way to say from the UK or Ireland?) “Graham” - Americans make it 1 syllable

Yorkshire Man: “the OG Kate Bush, herself”

“Jaunty baroque number”

🎵Set 10 (Bertie - Mirror in the Bathroom)

Bertie: I’m trying to decide if this deserves the term “baroque.” 🤔 Maybe? Most baroque music is polyphonic, and this is still distinctly homophonic. However, it might could qualify for “early baroque inspired” (circa 1600) with the choice of instruments and emphasis on text. I do like this! Definitely agree with the term “jaunty”

Kettle factory! ☕️

Mirror in the Bathroom: this is such a weird song but I like it 😂 I’m also starting to wonder if Cillian just likes stuff with sax solos. He’s chosen a lot this season!

🎤Talking Break:

I am shocked it took this long for him to play Zappa

“Obsessed with Frank Zappa” don’t try to downplay it, dude.

🎵Set 11 (Love)

Love: YES this has a major Zappa influence, even with the George Duke component. I haven’t listened to a lot of Zappa (he’s got so much and I honestly don’t even know where to start), but from what I’ve heard, this has his fingerprints all over it.

🎤Talking Break:

I love how concerned he is with lowering our collective heart rates/bpm 😂

🎵Set 12(Heart to Know - The Veil I)

Heart to Know: reminds me of Philip Glass (minimalist composer) a little bit (specifically lulls in his opera Einstein on the Beach).

My heart rate is lowered. 💗

The Veil I: the transition from Heart to this is weird, but I like this song, too! I feel like I’m in a video game with all the electronic sounds.

🎤Talking Break

“Gentle music”

I also wanna see this movie!

🎵Set 13 (Theme de l’eau - Prayer and Procession)

Theme de l’eau: I do often associate flute music with Japanese styles (and some of the non-Western scales), but this also has a Mediterranean feel to it (guitar), and somehow French as well (accordion). Again, there’s a lot of cultural ties between France and Japan, so that’s not super surprising. Yeah. I wanna see what this film is about! I’m curious!

Prayer and Procession: has some Chopin funeral March vibes to it, as well as Protestant chorale/hymn elements.

🎤Talking Break:

Noooo don’t go!

Yay! More song recs from the boys!

“Mind yourselves”

🎵Set 14 (Sleep - Crescent of Sun)

Sleep: … this song does NOT make me wanna sleep! 😳 Cillian Murphy! It is not Halloween yet! Quit with the spooky songs!

I thought he was supposed to be “lowering my heart rate” - psh! I call BS!

20190127: my slightly number dyslexic self hated writing out that title. 🤦‍♀️ anyway, this is MUCH more relaxing of a piece! Another great example of using recorded elements in music. I like how the tones fade in and out like the tide (heard at the beginning I think).

Crescent of Sun: it’s almost like chamber music at the beginning. I’m wondering if the sun is going down or up. The instrument voicing gets higher (indicating upward motion), but the melodic motif goes down. Huh. Interesting!

———————————————————————

Phew! I finally got episode 4 done! Now let’s see if I can crank out episode 5 within the next couple of days before getting to the final episode! (😭😭😭😭😭 this isn’t his real job and it’s a limited series and it has to end soon)

Anyway, thanks for reading!

Tag list:

@iammrsrogers @deliciousnutcomputer @mariamoonie @brownskinsugarplum76 @look-at-the-soul @kj-davis @neverroad @teapothollow @thepurplearmyposts @possessedmarshmallow

[starjxsung]

hiii bb. i hope you’re doing good <3 do my long-ass asks bother you?

but anyways! no, i feel you so bad. i usually fell asleep at like 2am and had to wake up at 6 for uni. and that’s really damaging for your health. i’m still getting used to it but magnesium and melatonin have helped me a lot with my insomnia. but im super lightweight in terms of taking pills so ill just sleep for a whole day if i take them together. so maybe you can look into that if you haven’t already. my mom’s a pharmacist so i got all the pill/supplement intel😅

i’m really sick of the insane amount of promos for this song as well. changbin posting a pic with him🙃🙃. i was like changbin honey angel baby ily but no. but i’m glad that a lot of people were commenting info about zionism and palestine under the picture <3 but so many others were supporting it🤕

im really sad that a lot of stays are boycotting silently too. education about these topics is so important!!! i’ve seen a lot of asks and comments about people who didn’t even know that ch*rlie p*th was a zionist or even what zionism is and when educated, stopped supporting the collab. there’s so many people who are unaware about the situation so shining light on the reasons can really change perspectives.

i love those pictures of momo sososososo much. she’s so bunny coded im obsessed. we r all momo stans here <333

my bf’s best friend came back from a trip to japan and he brought me a super cute hangyodon keychain. (he brought my bf a really really awesome studio ghibli greatest hits type of cd, i wish i took a pic to show it to you </3)

kuromi was like 5th which is consistent to where she was last year. i’m glad to see that other characters like pochacco and pompompurin are getting love though!

ily bb! i hope you’ve had the best weekend. and happy mother’s day to your mom & you 4 birthing queen momo 💘

(this is tofu literally helping me work on the presents and being a gift herself <3)

-🐈‍⬛

Hi my angel! Your long-ass asks get me through the days lately. They don’t bother me in the slightest !! 🫶

Thank you for all the wise pharmacist intel !! I will absolutely look into that. I need to hold myself to a better routine and be better about turning my phone off at night, but I always end up answering asks when I’m supposed to be sleeping and it’s just as therapeutic to me as rest is. It’s a constant battle 🫠

The Changbin pic 🤕 like skz never even use their instagrams all that much and all of a sudden we’re getting SO much stuff at the worst time possible ?? Where was this energy when I cared enough to interact with it 😭 the W Korea magazine covers too lorddddd everybody on my instagram knows I collect Felix magazines like a full time job and I had a few messages asking me if I’d seen his new covers. Had to politely share a story about why I’ll be quiet on my Felix shrine for a little bit 🤕 it sucks. Also absolutely agree with you about the education thing- I mean this has been an ongoing issue for 76 years now, but to pretend like it’s not EVERYWHERE since the escalation starting in October is just ignorant. It takes a few minutes to read through articles! People make tik toks! There are infographics! There’s so much information and to act like you don’t have time to do basic research is so silly.

Momo loves you right back 🫶💘!! She’s currently sitting in my window meowing at bypassers in my building and she’s very popular

Also the hangyodon keychain!!! That is so sweet of him oh my god!!!!!! I love love looooove hangyodon 🥹

Kuromi placing 5th makes so much sense if we’re going to give pochacco and pompompurin a little love too! Sanrio supremacy 🫶

PLEASE SEND TOFU ALL MY LOVE……. She is so cutie I’m so obsessed with her (and you) I love you angel!!!!! I hope you have the best weekend 💕💓💗🩷💘🫶👼 happy Mother’s Day to my favorite cat mama anon 🐱💓

[kiankiwi]

(home) Imagine us dressing baby E up for Halloween, putting him in something like a pair of pumpkin or bunny footed pajamas with a hood on it.

Oh baby loooooves his onesies! He has ALL holiday ones! Christmas ones, pumpkin ones, bats, ones with breakfast on them (those are his fave, they have eggs, bacon, toast etc), avocado ones, bunny ones (he likes to come outside and hop around in those ones and he LOSES IT when we spot a bunny and show him they've come to see him and he's like "they came to see me because I'm a bunny too mama!"

I've missed home au, thank you for sending this :)

[keefsteef]

soooo i know i’m already lining your inbox with my reblogs but i simply MUST know your favorite song off of each van halen album 🤩 !!! you can also tell me the songs you aren’t particularly partial to as well if you wanttt but no pressure 🤭🤭🤭

ilyyyy and keep dragging our dearest boys through the mud 😍😍😍

HI XOXOX ✨🤩✨

This was SO DIFFICULT 😭☠️ but anyway let's get into ittt...

VAN HALEN:

I am 100% a trooper for ain't talkin bout love. I do sometimes cheat on her for jamies cryin...but I always come home 😩‼️ I just can't ever get over the riff, the bassline, the drums, and David sounded SO REALLL!

It forever will have me by the ankles 🛐. As for what I didn't like on the album, I really don't have a song in particular. I know I had to warm up to atomic punk, but even before warming up to it I still did quite enjoy it.

VAN HALEN II:

OUTTA LOVE AGAIN 😩‼️I looooove when I can clearly hear David is full on feeling himself and confident, and I think it really shines here. And lmaooo I don't know what sort of pokey poke tappity tap shizzle frazzle bam bam Edward even did on that solo, but whatever it was, unsecured my edges 🛐 he DID THAT. I also found the drums and bass a slay.

Light Up The Sky also had a PRETTTYYYYY SNATCHWORTHY FALSETTO MOMENT ON IT THOUGH 😩 I'll give David a win there. As for a track I didn't like, once again, not really one I didn't like.

FAIR WARNING:

Push Comes To Shove is my wife and we frequently go out to dinner and take lavish yacht trips 😩❤️ I love her so 🌼

No but seriously...I don't like it when people say David couldn't ever sing because PERSONALLYYYY this is an example that that's absolutely not the truth. He was so wonderfully husky here, and that outro where he went AHHHHH or whatever, was the moment.

Edward did his thing with the guitar on this song too, I can't ever get the solo out my mind, I even hear it while buying butter or whatever 😭☠️ the bassline and drums were also stellar, and I love how the lyrics seem a bit more invasive than usual. To ME it sort of contradicts David's "lol I don't take relationships seriously" monicker...

Babe clearly someone hurt you , we all hear it 😭‼️

One foot out the door pissed me off a little because it's too fucking good to be that damn SHORT ! 👺... BUT once again... nothing I had any particular qualms with.

WACF:

Loss of control is my ride or die 🤩, It sort of to me just wraps up van halen as a whole. It feels all over the place, anxiety inducing (like David's fashion), and chaotic. Them-core. Plus Alexander beat those drums like they talked shit about his mama 😩 I enjoyed that.

I will admit that I am a recovering everybodywantssomehater 💔 it used to make me feel like David was chasing me through some Amazon forest trying to make me drink an elixir, and I was NOOOOT FEELING ITTTTT. BUT... around the 13th listen I decided you know what, open your mind, it's not that bad, and I like the song now.

Mostly just for the guitar but 😭 I'll come around.

I'm now realizing I fucked up the order of albums but I do not feel like doing all the copy pasting and moving around 🔪 so let's proceed...

DIVER DOWN:

Secrets my beloved...I've found that I love when David SINGS. His messing around and random screeching is cute and cool or whatever, but I trulyyyy enjoy when he shows versatility vocally. I loved what he vocally did here. Michael, Edward and Alexander ate as per usualllll that's no surprise, but David really is what swayed me to this song.

Not that I don't like itttttt but I'm still warming up to oh pretty woman. I think I've just got to be in the mood for it. Or maybe I'm so accustomed to the Roy version, I don't know, but I'll keep updated hahaha.

1984:

GIRL GONE BAD! I LOOOOVE the guitar drums and bass here, David did his thing. I haven't got much else to say in depth , but this one I definitely listen to more than jump. Nothing on the album I've got qualms with...

5150:

Dreams 🥴, Samuel SANGGGG and did what he needed to do, and I loved that Edward got to do his thing with the keyboards. I also love the songs message! I also enjoy best of both worlds though...

I NEEEEED to re-listen to the last 4 albums actually before I decide on those, I'll be sure I make a separate post about it 🤩❤️ thank you for the ask and I DEFINITELY WILL CONTINUE TO DRAG THEM TO FILTHHHH 👺👺👺👺 love yew too

[feddy-34]

I feel like omega Zach would get with really bad baby fever when their first kid hits highschool. Like they had 3 or 4 already and he’s really content with it and then the oldest hits freshman year and he’s like “Garrett we NEED to have another baby right now”, and Garrett is fully on board because hes secretly wanted another kid for awhile but worried Zach wouldn’t plus he gets to see Zach pregnant again so it’s a win win

bsdjdnkdnna zach giving the kids a suprise sibling with a 14 year age gap LMAO good for her i PERSONALLY have them maxing out at 3. i think. i should really write this stuff down again. but!!!!!!! garrett definitely has a few moments when the kids are growing up where he'll cozy up behind zach and cradle a hand low on his belly, whisper into zach's ear real low "makes you wanna try again, huh mama" and zach is like. two seconds away from just dragging garrett into his nest to give him another baby cuz whew and garrett just loooooves seeing zach pregnant cuz he's so happy and squishy and he smells so sweet and his cheeks are all rosy and he's always bundled up in his nest and he's just so 🥰😇😘yk????????

[hirokiyuu]

thinking abt yuujins fam

current ages assume yuujin is 17 (ie the age at which they wound up in twst at the v start)

papa

i dont have a name for this guy yet

he/him, 50s i think

has some sort of job that keeps him away from the house 90% of the time. i dont THINK he works overseas but he either a) works in tokyo living in his own apt bc the cost of a shitty leopalace is less than the commute time to their place in kanagawa or b) might be like. a train driver? was the other one i was thinking of????? lmao. either way he's only at the actual family home like one weekend every few months. its always a big deal when hes home

loves his wife+kids but desperately overworked. would like to be home more often but doesnt have the money at any local jobs to stay near them. gaman attitude to life

only child i think

hikari (mama)

she/her, 50s as well but a little younger than papa

office worker. one of those horribly overworked kinds. probably works in yokohama and has to commute like two hours a day. gone by the time most of hte kids wake up, home late enough she doesnt see them either.

loves her kids a lot but overindulgent. spoils all of them but also relies a little too much on yuujin (guy who is like :) i like cooking and helping mama! as a kid. not realizing he is signing himself up for The Horrors) does understand its not normal but yuujin doesnt complain so she doesnt do anything and also kind of cant given that she is again, horrendously overworked

wanted a lot of kids her whole life. adores them all. wishes she could have more time to tkae care of them but as we all know, The Cost of Living In Japan

yuujin goes here. 17, he/him (eventually they/them), if u need me to say moer than you have not been following my blog

mitsuki

she/her, 15

first year of high school

Extremely self-centered. well aware her ability to get out of hte house w/o having to rely on their parents ever releis a Lot on her being self-sufficient and is trying to play into her own strengths. also just hates being home so she's out doing Overachiever Things a lot but also going to karaoke and making friends and spending as little time at home as possible

will stay up to get allowance from mom, who should not be giving it to her but does bc she loves all her kids a bit too much

mutsumi

she/her, 13

yuujin's best friend. lmao.

chubby otaku. got bullied a lot in grades 5/6, situation got somewhat better in middle school but still doesnt really have any friends besides yuujin

shy + meek, doesn't know how to talk to people. wants to help yuujin more around the house but having so little self confidence means she needs a Lot of handholding and ends up creating more work for him so hes usually just like. go sit down and then tell me abt w/e manga youre into rn

only one that knows yuujins gay, a secret she guards w/her life

ruito

he/him, 11

sixth grader. loooooves yuujin more than anyone in existence! this is Not a Good Thing

sporty, thoughtless, jealous. wants yuujins time but yuujin has no time to give, which manifests in him being mad that mutsumi is the clear favorite and trying to bother yuujin when yuujin is Doing Other Things.

the next ones are more tenuous. i was thinking of yuujin as eldest of seven which i think means One of these needs to be a set of twins but idk which one and what would be most fun. i have runa + the problem child more set in terms of personality but the last kid is like....... so ambiguous theyre just floating midair to me u kno

runa

she/her, 9 or 10?

fourth grader. loves idols and wants to be one

does Not have the money to be an idol fan but through the power of begging and having an overindulgent mama has a semi-decent collection of merch. this drives yuujin insane

less problem causing than some of the other sibs but still causing problems. u kno how it is

youngest child

he/him so far, 5?

first grader. Terrible

bitey. wants to Go. immense handful. cause of every single one of yuujins headaches. constantly trying to run out of the house into traffic, thinks its funny when yuujin has to chase after him. probably in trouble for behavioral problems at school All the Time

ambiguous other child

moody type?

identical twin. probalby will develop a complex abt this in several years time (if youngest's twin) or has already started to (if runa's)

a ltitle bit forgotten given how many strong personalities are ni the fam. will occasionally lock themself up in their room if neglected tho which Causes Probelms and yet givs them attention which thereby reinforces the behavior lol

anyways. thoughts. i have them

[hwaightme]

PLEASE I AM ALREADY OUT HERE ON THE FLOOR ;~; ILYSM NORA!!!!!!! <33333333 Lol thank you for enjoying the 14k+ written in a haze that is mafia!hwa not leaving my brain at all O_O;

YESYESYES!!! Literally over the moon that you loved the dynamics and just how manipulative and conniving mafia!Hwa is; it really was an interesting challenge to try and figure out how to possibly translate some aspects of character of... a literal ball of sunshine and a universe of a person into a horrific obsessive criminal... so what ended up happening is what you see: a man who knows exactly how to get into people's minds, and a man who enjoys cleaning (though in this case it is a WHOLLY different kind of cleaning). EXACTLY MC YOU BETTER JUST STEP TF AWAY but who refuses Hwa hugs right? (lmao brb questioning my morals) - the forbidden fruit, laced with a sinful poison that tastes too sweet...

Believe it or not, initially I had planned for mc to be reaaally subby, and I mean veryveryvery subby, but then.... dom energy prevailed and the hatred that is coursing through her veins is just spurring her on to be equally as rough in treatment (though that is exactly what mafia!Hwa wants akldjfakdg)

LMAO PRETTY MUCH THIS IS A WHOLE [thots redacted] KIND OF MOMENT

AAAAAAAAH YOU HAVE NO IDEA JUST HOW THIS MADE MY ENTIRE WORLD ISTG!!!!! Because really, the ending, at least for me, was super fun to ponder and to figure out!! I am obsessed with having ongoing themes and having them be interlaced and repeating through a fic/fics (I guess it might be because there are certain core messages and ideas that resonate with me and what I like to focus on :)))) but here, it was the idea of revenge, redemption, resurrection, and then the whole thing with falling from grace and forgiveness~~ lmao totally overthinking but eyooo~~~~ I am just really overjoyed that you liked that approach and twist <3333

PLS I WANT ALL THE NORA SMOOCHES I BEG I AM PREPPED ALL READY (also mafia!Hwa.... shall haunt us huh lolol)

PLS THIS IS ME IN FRONT OF YOU RN: 🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️

ARE YOU KIDDING!?!??!?! I love you so much omg THANK YOU FOR READING AND I AM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT BC YOU ARE LITERALLY SO IMPORTANT TO ME AND I LOVE YOUR BRAIN AND YOUR ART AND YOUR FEEDBACK MEANS THE UNIVERSE AJKFHDALAKUET (also as I already told you that meme is now permanently saved and I shall stare at it forever because istg it just makes me so sosososososo happy)

Nora the Seonghwa pcs are literally protecting themselves from us lmAO and oh my goodness I am... you know when you forget all languages in the world because you are just so happy? that's me rn... that is me... I wanna give you the biggest hugs the universe has ever known <333333333333 (and as for mafia!Hwa we must blast Britney Spears "CUZ MAMA I'M IN LOOOOOVE WITH A CRIMINAAAAAAL AND THIS KIND OF LOVE ISN'T RATIONAL IT'S PHYSICAL)

MWAH YOU ARE THE BEST YOU ARE A GENIUS ILY<333333 THANK YOU SO MUCH

Bang bang

THIS IS 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI FOR STAR'S SAKE (nsfw tags under the cut) (masterlist) (join taglist)

⚫ pairing: gangster/mafia!seonghwa x stripper/afab!reader ⚫ genre: smut, mafia!au, noir, ganster film style, bits of angst ⚫ summary: Bang bang, he shot me down / Bang bang, I hit the ground / Bang bang, that awful sound / Bang bang, my baby shot me down... the words never sounded truer as you hunt for the man who made you fall from grace. ⚫ wordcount: 14.6k ⚫ warnings/tags: barely edited (written in a chaotic flurry), gangsters, murder, guns, blood, attacking, language, strip club, slight objectification, rudeness, bickering and arguing, emotional manipulation, revenge, death [of a side oc], yandere themes, obsessive behaviour, alcohol, money, seonghwa driving expensive cars, betrayal mention... lmk if anything else. ⚫ perma-taglist: @legohwas @doom-fics @acciocriativity @justhere4kpop @honey-lemon-goose @byuntrash101 @shakalakaboomboo @starillusion13 @hongthoven @cqndiedcherries @uwuheeseungie @hoshischeekss @frankenstein852 @charreddonuts @miriamxsworld @mingigoo @michel-angelhoe @innsomniacshinestar @foxinnie8 ⚫ a/n: HAPPY SEONGHWA DAY!!!! May our brightest star be blessed with everything and more <3 (and never venture into what this fic contains lol); much love and appreciation to nora for going unchained over mafia hwa, and for supporting me through the blackout that was the writing process for this fic. Much love, all reblogs, comments, thoughts welcome~

⚫ nsfw tags: hate sex, car sex, fingering (receiving), sub-leaning reader but a hardcore brat, dom-leaning seonghwa but he enjoys the degradation, degradation (whore, slut, cock slut...), pet names and praises (doll, precious angel, darling, baby, sweetheart), a bit of impact play (slapping), orgasm denial, doggy style, unprotected sex (wrap before you tap), blowjob, deepthroating, hair tugging/yanking, manhandling, grinding, spit play, come in mouth/swallowing... whew

⚫ playlist: bang bang (from kill bill) by geek music, showed me (how i fell in love with you) by madison beer, you put a spell on me by austin giorgio, i've got to see you again by norah jones, who do you want by ex habit, woman by emmit fenn, bad drugs by king kavalier, often by the weeknd, chills (dark version) by mickey valen

Bang bang… he shot me down…

You had given up on seeing him again. Searching for him, hellbent on getting the last word. You had been confident that finally, after all this time, your tortured soul could get some rest. That was until your eyes locked with his in a silent duel, that shit-eating grin on his face growing wider as he studied the wounds he had left behind. The invisible scars that were the start of your metamorphosis.

It was not that you had never imagined meeting the fiendish man again – in fact, you swore that it was your only relief: to fantasise about what you would do if you were to physically cross paths somewhere in this forlorn city, and many nights you would wake up in cold sweat after hearing the intoxicating low-toned laughter resonate in your skull. He haunted you and you knew that he was watching your every move like a sadistic predator. As such, the only thing that had driven you out of your madness, the flimsy umbrella that you clung onto amidst your fall from the life you had built and hoped to have, was to wish that one day, you could do the same. And seeing him right there, in front of you, in his tailored suit and jewellery bathed in blood as the spotlights made him look like the devil himself, the notion of hoping returned.

When a strobe light flashed across his faced you saw him lean and whisper something into the ear of one of his goons, evidently excited to having spotted you. After the ever so slightly shorter, but impressively built, undoubtedly a dark-souled man armed to the teeth, surely his bodyguard, nodded a couple of times, and in turn called over one of the waiters to continue the chain only for the latter to shrink and rush off into the backrooms, your nightmare ambled towards the bar. With a quick unbuttoning of his suit jacket, he settled in one of the stools and spun around to face the stage. To face you. Subject you to a mocking scrutiny while you had no choice but to continue dancing.

As he mindlessly took a black card out of his pocket and passed it to the bartender, without sparing a glance behind him, the object pinched between his pointer and middle fingers, you were in your lonesome on the stage, fighting an uphill battle for every coin and paper bill. Spinning in circles like an animal trapped in a cage, clinging to the pole as though it was a thread connecting you to existence itself, even though experience had shown you that in this, you were skilled only in going down. That man who made living seem easy, despite, or perhaps thanks to the darkness from which he was undoubtedly spawned. Your first love, your first heartbreak, your first glimpse into how the world could chew you up and spit you out – life that was a forbidden fruit so beautiful, so tantalising to where through atrocious flavour and agony one would bite through to the rotten centre and willingly lose their senses to keep a piece to themselves.

His eyes tirelessly accompanied your every move as you went through your routine. Grinding against the pole, crawling across the stage as onlookers and perverts – those who you had to call revered guests because they could spend, and spend a lot, ogled you and yelled heinous remarks, you had not felt so humiliated in a long time. The transition to your present career had been a follow up to a series of events that had shut all other doors – you considered yourself lucky that you had even had the chance to catch yourself on these professional branches during your painful descent. And you had to admit, it did pay well. In a couple of months, after you had definitely breached all work hour regulations, you had managed to pay off your fines and numb yourself to your revoked medical licence. Things were looking up, like the heels you wore. Not quite sky-high, but nevertheless, not in the sewers. But now that being sat at the bar, devouring you with his smouldering gaze and using you for cheap amusement, made you feel filthy. With his pristine, clean, supreme ‘I am above you all’ aura, he might as well state that he owned you. Maybe, in a way, he did. Since his ‘company’, or as one would say ‘bunch of organised hoodlums in suits’ behind closed doors, owned this club among many others dotted around the metropolis.

You climbed up, approaching the finale of your performance. Soon you would be able to leave that creature’s gaze and hide in the rank bathrooms until the coast was clear. Even if that meant you had to abandon the bills. Or no, no you would have the time. You had rent to pay, what were you thinking? And you still needed to return the money you borrowed for the funeral, despite you being told that your now ex could be left to rot just fine. The act was more for you anyways – you wanted to prove to yourself that you still knew honour and tradition, regardless of how far you had been swept up by the unforgiving currents of the underworld. So now, to pay for your illusion of honour, you put on a show and flaunted what you had, fuelled by an undercurrent of indescribable disgust.

To the numbing bassline and an addictive beat you went higher and higher, letting the sensuality envelop you once more. If the months that stacked themselves like cash had taught you anything, this passage of time that you had spent nomadic, performing in one club, another, until you ended up in the one where you were now centre stage, it was that professionalism came first. You were surprised to find out just how many of your academic and practical skills had actually been put to good use – well, maybe not things like knowing components of the limbic system but having a steady hand and being able to manoeuvre out of uncomfortable situations in a cool and calculated manner certainly did their wonders. As you performed a high kick hold, and let your toes discreetly push off the ground for more momentum, you were already thinking a couple of steps ahead. The fairy, the floaters transition, you mentally listed and promptly ticked off the items, going from one move to another. It was nothing more than an elaborate ploy to convince those ogling you, some even unceremoniously palming themselves through their trousers, to give you their ‘hard earned cash’. Though, you never wanted to know where exactly that cash came from. It was not your problem, and you were quick enough to realise that it was better to keep your mouth shut and ask less questions. What these men wanted to see was a pretty doll spinning on a pole as if just for them, a fantasy just a couple of steps away from them. Not some amateur interrogator. 

His figure burned into your retinas as you amplified your dramatics, and stole the night for yourself with flair, flipping yourself upside down, only to recover and descend into your final pose. Due to the sweat and the light body highlighter that you had applied to make your features pop, you were an impossibly entrancing vision. A deity of the underworld that just so happened to find it entertaining to grace the local scum with her presence. 

The handsome black-haired man, an enticing, lethal ‘bella donna’ flower continued watching the forbidden apple of his eye. He had finally gotten you within his reach after so many months of playing cat and mouse. You were unbelievably easy to track, never having attempted to hide yourself, but for him to restrain himself for so long and not hunt you down at first opportunity was borderline torturous. Park Seonghwa was never one to wait. If he wanted something, or someone, he got it instantly, handed to him on a platinum platter. But your hatred was like an addictive scent that brought him to an unprecedented high. Each time he had news delivered of you discreetly asking after him at a club, or you trying to frequent an area where he had been spotted, evidently on a mission to do exactly what he was doing to you, it brought Seonghwa an excitement that shook him to the core.

But now that you were here, in his lair, his first club that he had opened, still a junior in the business at the time and coincidentally, still having been in what could be called a relationship with you, he could not resist. His mind had been screaming Y/N, Y/N, Y/N, every hour of the day, and his primal desires grew stronger than ever before. As he inspected the way in which you bent down to take bills from eager hands, coy and purposefully demure so as to attract even more tips, sinful musings clouded him. He could not ignore the curve of your back as you tapped another fowl man’s chin and took what was definitely over his budget right out of his beggarly hands. Seonghwa was tense as he focused on the white dancewear that adorned your body, elegant lace providing a dizzying contrast to the lewd scene as you let another imp paw at your ass as he hooked the waistband of your thong to leave more crisp notes.

The act of a sensational seductress, you practically glided off the stage, the platform heels doing little to diminish your resolve. You were even better than what he could have ever imagined from the stories that his closest allies and bodyguards had relayed to him. And while, San, the man who he had entrusted with observing you particularly closely once news had gotten around that you joined Club Estelle, had expressed your resounding success and renowned desirability on a number of occasions, now that Seonghwa had seen it he was nothing but proud. His masterpiece, his project, his precious little cherub was doing so well. All for him. How could he not grace you with his presence after seeing such a show?

You knew there was no way of escaping the monster, even if you had the ability to turn invisible, so you were not too surprised when you had found the man who had been next to him for the duration of the performance standing in front of you. What you were taken aback by, was how in just a flash, the man’s intimidating aura dissipated to reveal a charming, heart melting smile and twinkling eyes.

“Miss L/N Y/N?” voice equally as sweet, he inquired. Though you had no doubt that his was just airs preceding the request for you to accompany him to his boss.

“Yes. And you are?” remaining amiable, albeit distant, you responded, crossing your arms in a subconsciously protective manner.

“Merely delivering the request for your audience with my chief.”

You motioned for him to accompany you to the back, signalling that you needed to store the cash before any further discussions were made. The sweetheart obliged, and let you take the lead. In your peripherals, you spotted Seonghwa gripping his drink a little too tightly to be indifferent. As questionably possessive as ever, it seemed. Once you and the muscular bodyguard who you discovered was wearing a double holder were behind the curtain that served as a door to a dark corridor, you continued the conversation.

“A request or an order?” 

Absent-mindedly, you checked the quantity of the bills which you had collected - the rest were already waiting for you in the room, courtesy of the waitstaff whom you had actually managed to make something of a deal with: you did not tell anyone about their habit of permanently borrowing beverages from the bar, and they did small errands for you. Maybe this man with cat-like features was in a similar agreement with Seonghwa, though the likelihood of there being blood involved was too high.

“A request that I would definitely advise you to follow.” he insisted, holding open the door to the changing room as you inspected the bucket that had been left for you in the corner, with neatly collected, crisp notes. Your favourite sight as of late.

“If you answer my question.” you threw out while organising the money inside of a sports bag - the storage of your professional life. Once you were done, you shoved the item into your personal locker, sealing it shut and spinning around to face the man again as he beckoned you.

“Kindly, follow me, Miss.”

“Who am I following?” you repeated, desperately curious to know of this man’s identity. Nevertheless, your feet carried you forward, and you yielded to his summons, heading back out into the club.

“Mister Park Seonghwa’s man.”

“Ooh, his man…”

“Right hand man.” he elaborated, making you roll your eyes.

“So no name to pair with such a handsome face?”

The answers were almost automatic. It was not foreign to you to flirt with strangers, since that way you amplified your chances of financial success, but never before did you catch yourself being so passive, even when the intonations were well practised and near identical to what you would normally say. But there was no one, nor nothing, to blame except the hardwired response to the nearing figure of a very specific gangster, on whom your gaze immediately settled as soon as you reached the edge of the prolonged bar counter.

“I believe that Mister Park would not enjoy hearing such words from you.” of course he would not. When did he ever enjoy you complimenting anyone else except him? San steeled himself as he lowered his head, while you let the fingers of your right hand flitter over the counter as you sauntered over to the man who could not even be bothered to approach you himself, despite having evaporated from your life for an unbearable collection of months.

“Then he would not have sent you to fetch me. He should know that I appreciate beauty-” you were testing your luck, uttering the words when within the gangster’s earshot. Thankfully for San, he chose to take the matter into his own hands and, setting aside the glass of cognac with a delicate push, addressed his bodyguard.

“Sannie, is Y/N giving you a tough time?”

Your name sounded precious, meaningful when he said it. Like it had a genuine purpose in this mortal realm. A melodic uttering of simple sounds that drowned out the pulsing beat that zombified the visitors of Club Estelle. Whether that music was on or not made no difference to you - either way, you would only hear Seonghwa. His voice was like a rumbling of an oncoming thunderstorm amidst a nighttime quiet. The rolling growls of heaven’s rage as steel grey clouds stalked across the sky, wrapping the defenceless earth in a catastrophic promise. With nothing but a foggy trepidation in your chest, you slid onto the seat that was to your nightmare’s right, turning to have your back to the bar and rest your elbows behind you on the elevated table. 

“Uh, not at all, sir.” San’s shift in mien was comical. In a flash, he had stepped down from the pedestal of a man who made the demands, to a servant who you struggled to imagine acting a step out of the lines that his boss had drawn out for him. You raised an eyebrow, giving the guard a onceover.

“Sannie?”

“Yes, darling. San. Like a mountain. Isn’t it cute?” Seonghwa interjected again, not letting the man who you were addressing as much as regard you. Apparently, being under his command also meant that you were instantly off limits. How dull.

“Interesting word choice…”

“He is a cutie, though, aren’t you, Sannie?” smirk gracing his lips, Seonghwa teased the cutie, who, judging by the sheer broadness of his shoulders, could probably snap a person in half with his bare hands. Not that the person would complain since the last thing they would see would be that pretty face… but that was besides the point. No one in the mafia was soft and fluffy. And if there had ever been, they had not survived long enough to establish themselves as the sole representative in history. 

“No comment.” 

“See? How fucking adorable,” with an icy tone, Seonghwa concluded. “Now, could you give us some time to speak tête-à-tête?”

“Of course.”

As rapidly as his appearance had been, so was his departure into the lingering crowd. A newbie - even more new to the business than you, was beginning her performance, and had caught the attention of a couple of the regular patrons, and the lewd chatter had picked up considerably. It was apparent, however, that it was not enough to capture the interest of the man in front of you, who shifted his seating to face in your direction, and officially broke open the door into your life once again. Not because you had been tirelessly searching for him. But because he found it beneficial for himself to make himself known to you.

“Greetings and salutations, Y/N, it’s been a while. We have much to catch up on, don’t you think?” you blinked slowly, suppressing a rude scoff. People were still watching you, that much you were aware of. Those were the perks, or the faults with wearing stripper dancewear. You were the fixation of lustful eyes, the cool glass of water that was just out of reach for the hoards of parched scum.

“I have nothing to say to you, Seonghwa.”

“Ah how I missed you saying my name.”

“And I’d rather you keep mine out of your mouth.” a total lie, had you considered your instincts and how your legs had instinctively tilted closer to the brunette, but you were not about to throw away months of fantasising the man’s demise at the first interaction. You had at least some restraint left.

“Only if you can silence me. I know a couple of ways.” he winked, but you pretended not to catch it as you stared down at his hand that was lying on the counter, studying the ornate decal on the fingerless leather glove.

Taking notice of your preoccupation, he tapped his fingers on the surface, making the silver studs that ran down each digit and surrounded the opening on the back of the hand shine in the glimmering lights. You counted the holes that revealed his knuckles, for no reason other than to try shifting focus. You were not opposed to this kind of interaction. Gestures. Hints. Symbols. It was a horrifying craving that started in the abyss that Seonghwa had left in your tarnished soul, an affliction caused and amplified even by the most mundane details. You could feel those same fingers wrapping themselves around your neck, tracing your jawline, making a ghostly descent down your body. A shiver ran down your spine as you tore yourself away from the sight that had turned into a sinful recollection, forcing out a jarring taunt to convince yourself that there were no undertones to Seonghwa’s phrase.

“With a gun?”

He was not buying it. His precious flower, barely dressed and yet graceful to the extent of rivalling divinity, squirming from his mere presence. This was what he had been searching for, all this time that he had denied you contact. You had been a bad girl. Running, thinking you were pure and angelic. He did not want you that way, so he took his time winding you up, making your world collapse so that you would be ready to take the real him. Not the foolish goon that he had been before. You had been so sweet, doting on him and showing him off to your friends. But what he yearned for was the animalistic antagonisation of his very being. The fire in your heart that drove you to a vengeful insanity. Seonghwa’s tongue pushed at the corner of his mouth before running over his bottom lip, disappearing to give way to a smug grin as he noticed your eyes dart to the action. He comprehended your capabilities properly. More than any of those quacks who you had looked up to ever could. Your demons were loud, and yet you had gone to great lengths to suppress them, even when you were the most beautiful like this. The mortal embodiment of Discordia. Truly, the one deity he would worship. The only one who he would continue sacrificing for.

“Ah, that reminds me. Heard about your boyfriend, such a shame really. He was so young…” he pondered out loud, not a single bit apologetic.

“That’s rich coming from the man who put a bullet between his eyes.” you hissed, crossing your arms as a man walked past and openly gawked at your breasts. 

Though that quickly resulted in a not so subtle threat, with Seonghwa leaning back to adjust his jacket, only to reveal the grip of a menacing handgun, tucked away into a leather holster. The visitor, who had purposely slowed his pace, bolted from the spot, giving the gangster one final look before rushing to the other side of the club. As if looking for your praise, or approval, Seonghwa hid the gun from sight once again and gazed at you, softer and more affectionate than before, his eyes transforming to take on more of a doe shape and inducing an uncomfortable pain. When you did not satisfy him, he clicked his tongue and ran his hands over his hair, shorter at the sides and revealing a buzzcut design that had begun to fade with growth. The new style suited him, you decided. Almost too well. It was frustrating.

“Ah, ah, no. Not me. My hands are clean, sweetheart.” he raised them, a hilarious attempt at trying to prove his innocence which you chose to ignore. No matter how obsessively he washed his acts away, blood was more than a rusty red liquid. It was a curse that stained the skin of those who wished to draw it with an eternal permanence, passing from generation to generation until the Earth was saturated with the hue. Ignoring the blatant bullshit, you mused the fate of the man who you had used to fill the void.

“What the fuck did he even do to you guys?”

“Oh you know how it is. Got a taste of success, got a little too greedy… and kaput. Didn’t keep a clean inventory and clean percentages, you see. And I don’t like when things aren’t clean.” you did not have to be brought into the matter any further than that. You certainly did not need to be let in on the fact that your ex was actually one of the best dealers in his district. He was just a little too close to you for Seonghwa’s comfort.

“Sure you don’t. You said the word, what, four times already? That’s why you even launder your money…” you muttered, not noticing how Seonghwa’s elbow slid closer to you until his hand began to play with a lock of your hair.

“Ah, so attentive, counting what I say…” twirling it around his finger, he observed how the myriad of colour from the club’s lights managed to change its shine, and let it fall back into an alluring cascade, “... and not only that, we also do pest control. The last thing we need is lowly vermin poisoning our supply chains and ruining user experience for our end clients, right?”

“I still don’t-”

“Funny how you got involved with him. Of all people. A drug dealer.” it was easy to make you shift focus. One mention of your failed career, and you were gone. So, in a dire situation such as this, Seonghwa would be a fool not to use this fact.

“Guess he was the only one there to actually support me in the shitstorm. Thanks for that, by the way.”

“Now, now, no need to thank me, darling, when I did nothing-”

“I was blacklisted, Seonghwa. Do you know what that means?” slamming the counter with your hand, you stood up off the stool and glowered. Oh, how adorable it was when you got so riled up. A darkness flashed across his eyes as he imagined you to be a tiny predator, ready to pounce. How endearing.

“I can try to guess, though something tells me you will provide more details.” he egged you on, enthralled by how you tried to hover over him, but still retained his favourite fragility.

“It means my dreams have gone up a rat’s ass. I wanted to be a nurse, Seonghwa. And yet, as soon as I get to work, the next day after helping you and your stupid goons, I get kicked out and sued.” The only downside that he could see was that he would not be able to have his way with you were all professional and in a dainty nurse’s outfit. Though… he would have had to make some adjustments to the scrubs for that. A few rips here and there would not hurt anybody.

“It really was only basic supplies that you permanently borrowed, and for the greater good at that. I still think the hospital over-exaggerated.” you had been more than benevolent. Overlooking status, background and appearance you had dashed to lend a hand. Seonghwa had counted on you to do that so that he could drag you down closer to himself.

“In the eyes of the law, I am a thief who has gotten away with far too light a punishment.”

“And I see a saviour.” a merciful fucktoy who he had initially simply been playing around with, only to discover that you were so pathetically trusting that he could not help but fall in love.

“Poetic.” you responded sarcastically, raising your eyebrows. Seonghwa was bearing witness to the dissolution of your resistance. As much as you wished you could keep the game up, his charming falsities and unforgivable seduction were a delight that you could not withstand. 

“You know one of those ‘stupid goons’ celebrated his wedding anniversary with his wife two months ago? And then the other sent his daughter to primary school not long ago… Like I said, you made a sacrifice that those bureaucratic little shits, hidden away in offices, would never make. You care for people.”

His hands snaked to your hips, and he pulled you closer to him until you were trapped with his legs on either side of you. Even though physically you were the one looking down, every passing second you felt more and more like a lab experiment or a sample under a microscope. He was dissecting you, tearing you apart and rebuilding you once again so that you would be just right. Just for him. His favourite doll.

“Seems I care for the wrong people.” you alluded to the man in front of you, a shallow, staggered breath escaping you as he gripped a little tighter.

“Do you regret it?” his eyes. Two dark pools which housed your tailored terror, but had to be so lovable. The devil always took on the most beautiful form.

Your silence told him everything he needed to hear. You could have pushed him away, slapped him across the cheek. Hell, you could have told San to get lost - though in that case you would have probably been disposed of and continued your existence as an addition to a faraway landfill. But that was besides the point. Because you were not indifferent. And the boundary between love and hatred was nearly invisible.

“So happy to have you here. At last.” just as he was about to bring you into an embrace, drunk from the elation of your first meeting in what had to have been an eternity, you pressed down on his shoulders, narrowly avoiding the stark white collar of his shirt that was laid over his jacket, and pushed away, hostility written over your features.

“That’s why I bet you are proud of having sold me out.”

“Who said that?” confused, Seonghwa inquired.

“I just know it.”

“And I am asking, who told you that I sold you out?” stuck in what could only be equated to a tug of war, the two of you were challenging each other to ‘try their worst’.

“My e-”

“The druggie. Right. Of course he did. I bet he told you a lot of things.”

“Like how you used me…”

“Uh-huh,” his hands glided up your body until he stood up, and your arms were limp at your sides once more.

“Corrupted me…”

“My love, you’re still an angel,” he cupped your chin and gazed deep into your eyes, noting that it was as if you were reciting something that you had practised time and time again in front of a mirror until it made no more sense to you than white noise.

“Then betrayed me…”

“Something I would not do under any circumstance. You know what family honour is.” Seonghwa did not betray. He acted in ways that benefited him. And if it just so happened to leave others hurt, it was their fault for caring so much.

“Family. What the hell do you know about family?” you were seething. He was burning you. Again, and again, and again. And you were readily giving in every single time.

“Certainly more than you. Oh sweetheart, I know how lonely you have been-” he wanted to comfort you, even if that made him nauseous, but thankfully, you were not in the mood and stepped away, making him let go of you.

“Don’t touch me.”

“I only want to-”

“I said. Don’t. Seonghwa. Look. I- I hate you. Okay?” music to his ears. How you desperately tried to get away from him and from your own feelings. Scared little pet.

“Are you trying to convince yourself?” the phrase echoed within you as you took another step backwards, realising too late that you had let him wrap himself around you like a hungry python. You needed out. This was it. Final. You needed some air. Or better, to return home, climb into bed, and pretend this never happened. Future you could handle this problem, present you was irrational, risk-seeking and a harm to the self.

“N-no. I. I need to go.”

“You know you can’t.” Seonghwa whispered out loud as he watched your determined departure, right up until you were behind that heavy velvet curtain. 

He picked up his glass and studied the clear, russet contents, and let the liquid slosh around to take in the aroma. With a quick sip, he was back to his usual self, and the smile that was on his face was instantly erased. Bored, the dangerous man leaned against the counter with the weight of his body, imitating your earlier posture and commanded:

“San, I know you’re lurking, come here.” Indeed, in a matter of seconds, his bodyguard appeared from behind one of the pillars that was located closer to the kitchen.

“Yes, sir?”

“You see that man over there?” raising his glass, Seonghwa pointed in the direction of one of the very dedicated hounds who was by the stage. He had been particularly involved in your act, and from the moment Seonghwa had first noticed him, to the very last moment that you were up there, the tipsy man had probably dropped at least a couple thousand dollars’ worth of cash. He was the perfect candidate for the gangster’s plan.

“The one in the green hoodie?”

“Yes, that sleazy bastard. How about we cast him as the bad guy, huh? Payment upfront.” San nodded. The method was simple, and had shown tremendous success in the past. He hummed in agreement, waiting for Seonghwa to add his usual:

“Temporarily, of course. All in good fun.”

“Understood. What should I lay over?”

“That a certain Y/N is particularly ravishing after her performances, and will be at the back exit in about twenty minutes.”

Bang bang, I hit the ground…

Maybe what that gangster had said was true, and that you were too good for the ‘overworld’. It was an attractive thought. Perhaps after the doors to the medical field and consequently a wide range of other careers you had considered had been shut, due to your newfound, albeit light, but nevertheless a serious enough criminal record, you ended up simply tapping into your true nature as a creature of the underworld. While out there, you had always been average, here you were a saviour. A goddess. A queen. Maybe you indeed were celebrated and had gifts thrown at your feet exactly because you deserved nothing less. The chasm that was the dark side of the corrupt city might be your true home, and you had simply been in denial, running away from it. 

How easy it was to fall back into your patterns. As you sank into Seonghwa’s eyes, you recollected your time with him. The attentiveness that he had shown you. The way in which he would patiently listen to you explain obscure medical terminology, convincing you that, to him and him alone, it was interesting. You had felt blessed then. And that was exactly why you wanted to erase him. As you strutted down the corridor that ran behind the main hall of the club, leading you to the back rooms that were for staff and artists only, you shook your head. Wishful that this would help you get rid of the reminiscing of the last ‘easy’ time of your life. Before you revealed to yourself that you would commit a crime in the name of love. Even when that love was merely an illusion. Confused by your own feelings, still seeing a glowing red target over Seonghwa’s evil heart while making out golden glimmers on its surface, you stormed into the changing room and let out a sigh of relief as you saw it completely empty. You could meditate on your frightening conversation with the devil himself.

There was something therapeutic about the wind down from your performances, if you were to forget about the side eyes you were being thrown after having been caught talking to the owner of the establishment, and according to some of the whispers, a very desired man. How they could overlook the fact that he was more cold blooded than a snake when it came to satisfying their need for a happy and tranquil life amazed you. With the thumping of the music feeling so far away that you were practically enveloped in a sea of cotton, and the lights emitting a more familiar fluorescence, like a late night grocery store rather than the strobes, sickly colour selections and kaleidoscopic reflections, the changing room was a sort of safe space. You were trying to stuff the bills that you had collected, and the chunky stripper heels into a nondescript sports bag, after having covered yourself up with something more appropriate for a ‘so late it could be considered early’ trek back home.

You needed time to yourself before you were going to black out and make some foolish decisions concerning that conniving man. It was a curse, without a doubt. Not dissimilar to the very drugs you had smuggled, he was hard to quit. And you hated him for it. At least this was what you had been openly declaring, and were not going to give up on. If anything, this was your new habit. Imagining revenge on Park Seonghwa. You were going to get it. Eventually. You still had some hope left in you, even though your feet were currently struggling to hold you up, even in your sneakers, a hint of a fire in your chest as your memories of the man were refreshed. Did he have to look more handsome than before? More refined? More demonic?

When you had met him during a night out with your friends at a bar in the classier side of town, Seonghwa had introduced himself as an ‘intern’, which you now understood as one of the lower ranking goons who did the dirty work. Now, he was all white shirt and spotless sleeves, smooth skin and perfectly manicured hands, only a breath away from being a model rather than a hardened and ruthless criminal. Perhaps it was this contrast that had resulted in the man having cemented the nickname ‘Mars’ for himself, as you had found out from a few tipsy insiders who would do anything for a private show. The god of war, destruction, bloodshed, all in the name of an interpretation of peace and prosperity. The dangerous balance on the tip of a razor, by which you had undoubtedly been slaughtered.

He was a mastermind, a monstrosity in a beautiful guise as he ran, alongside the uppermost echelons of the mafia that effectively had the city, and at this point you would not put it beyond them - the country in a chokehold, the numerous operations that kept the underworld’s heart pumping. An inky fluid, viscous and bitter, one which you had accepted in a pretty glass of so-called love without thinking twice. Seonghwa knew how to make you happy. And the longer that went on, the more of a problem that became. He knew just how to spin thread out of you, how to wrap you again, and again around his finger until you were nothing more than one of the rings that he would occasionally wear to complete his outfits. And in such a hypnotised state, you thought you were doing the right thing when you broke into the place that was housing your professional dreams, and crept to retrieve some of the most sought after medication. Just for him. Oh how he thanked you then. How he had professed his love to you and praised you. You had been on cloud nine. Until you found out that someone had anonymously filed a report against you, provided all evidence, somehow all in the same night, and by the next midday you had already been summoned to court.

The day when you had stepped out of the courthouse was imprinted in your mind. Having received a much kinder sentence than one you had expected - more financial and reputational damages than anything else, you had been upbeat enough to engage in smalltalk with the state-provided lawyer whose name you had forgotten in a few hours. At least you had been that way before you saw him across the street. Lower body hidden by a jet black, matte sports car, black suit, black shirt, black hair… the reaper himself having arrived to taunt you and laugh at the death of your career. A carefree smile had been replaced by a deep scowl as the gears clicked, the puzzle completed itself in your head. Seonghwa. It had to be Seonghwa. It took every fibre of your being to restrain yourself from committing another criminal offence and attack him, and instead watch him climb into his car as though you had been nothing but empty space to him, and speed off in the direction of uptown. A murder most fowl. Of your soul, of your heart. And what mind you had left, you had promised to dedicate to hunting him down.

You sighed as you heaved the emergency exit door open, having avoided the main back entrance out of fear that Seonghwa might be there, or anywhere inside Club Estelle. What did you mean by hunting him down? Now that he was there. Within slapping distance, if you were to put it in an unceremonious manner. What were you actually seeking? Was it your mind twisting your desire for him to simply make a return and instead of stalling on your destruction, simply go on ahead with it and shoot you down? You shook your head, pulling the hoodie that was covering your otherwise scandalous outfit tighter around you as the cool air enveloped you. It was almost peaceful. Almost quiet. Almost.

“Hey Y/N~ you put on suuuuch a goood show, baby girl… fucking fantastic… damn. Was told I could catch you here and damn, you are a goddess.”

You snapped in the direction of the sound, finding a man who was rocking side to side approaching you. Relatively tall, scruffy, with dirt-stained clothing hanging off, unfortunately, a more athletic-looking body. So striking him with one of the heels in your bag and running was out of the question. Besides, who knew how he would act if he saw the cash? You backed away having been met by the stench of what had to have been at least three shots of the strongest liquor in the house, and found yourself with your back pressed against a wall of the dimly lit alleyway between the club, and a line of dumpsters, with this very drunk problem whose perverted grin was inducing an uncontrollable trembling. The longer you stood in this state of a showdown, much like a wild west film, the more he was suffocating you with the overwhelming, acrid stench of sweat, cigarettes and whatever concoction his stomach had made out of the alcohol he had consumed.

“Can I get a… private show, huh? Swear’ve been good just for you baby girl.”

You suddenly felt so alone. Abandoned. Terrifying conclusions running through your head. There was not a single performer at the club who you were more than acquaintances with, and even then, would they help? The club bouncers rarely got involved since the majority of the customers were high-paying, and apparently the rule there was: if they had cash, they could behave like trash. Maybe a dead stripper to them was just the usual night. Who would you have called in the past? You hated to admit the name, the face that floated into your brain as soon as you asked yourself the question. But Seonghwa had a way with situations like this. He had stood up for you before, to the point where you had to kiss away his pain and treat his wounds - though that was nothing compared to the scarlet sight that he had painted in your honour. It was horrific, and yet, he had made you smile. It had probably been the grandest gesture of adoration that you had ever received. 

Still managing to keep some distance between you and the disgusting creature, your brain went into overdrive. You were backing away from him, but there was only so much time before he would pounce. As much as you wanted to just scream your heart out and pray some, well, a very specific, knight in shining armour would appear out of nowhere, you were a big girl and knew that the stories you indulged in reading were not true. In real life, and especially your own life, you had to be your own hero. It was your mission to remind yourself that Seonghwa was a villain. So you tried to project him onto your temporary enemy.

Although the action made bile rise in your throat, you peered into the drunk’s eyes, trying to read his actions. Not quite walking straight, he took another step towards you, supporting himself by pushing on the dumpster to his left, your right. You immediately mirrored it, your hand feeling for the wall to your right. A couple more steps and you would be right beside a trash pile that you had spotted when you first appeared in the alley way from the staff exit – the bastard sure was persistent and did not want to give up on you. You sneered – it could almost be his redeeming quality, compared to a certain someone else who liked to drive into the metropolis and then turn into an omniscient poltergeist.

“Come on, why are you being such a tease? Weren’t you having the time of your life earlier? So sexy, don’t you want to use that?”

He was making your skin crawl. You were trying your hardest to not interact with him more than necessary and stayed quiet. One wrong move and you were going to be in much deeper trouble than this. The sort where the best-case scenario you envisioned was showing up in the news, not so alive and in a ditch. The situation reminded you of a short story by Rudyard Kipling, Rikki-Tikki-Tavi, but instead of a face off between a mongoose and a king cobra, there was a young woman with a flurry of ruminations and a myriad of regrets. Though the latter was definitely swaying like a snake.

“Hey, baby girl, are you not going to come to daddy any time soon? I am getting impatient, baby, and you don’t want to piss me off.” He growled, his previously aimless blabber turning into a threat.

Your body was screaming for you to just make a run for it, but you knew better than that. This guy, unfortunately for you, was sporty enough and lanky enough to catch up to you in no time. On top of his build, you had the brilliant idea to wear new heels for your show today, which had cut into your flesh just enough to hurt, as if scolding you and repeating ‘I told you so’ and leaving your feet exhausted. As you stole a glance at the more comfortable pair of shoes for which you had settled, it was as though a lightbulb went off in your head. That was right. You did have manoeuvrability. You just needed to get one hit. 

You neared the exit of the alley, judging your proximity solely by the light emanating from a lonely street lamp right back on the main street. You steadied yourself as you saw the man open his mouth again and crouched further down to reach for an empty wine bottle that was lying on top of the pile you had been counting on. Keeping it hidden from the man, you stepped to the side, obscuring half of your body behind the large trash bin.

“What are you doing you bitch, huh? Answer me. I’ll give you one more chance.”

You remained silent, sliding your bag off your shoulder for better movement, pleading that it would not make a noise. The first glide down your upper arm was smooth enough, though your relief did not last long as it accelerated and came down to crash on some debris. That appeared to trigger new aggression in your opponent, as he practically snarled and lunged forwards, arms outstretched. You jumped backwards, only nearly missing a pipe protruding from one of the walls, and made contact with one of the walls, tripping the man as you did so. You were not thinking clearly, vision a blur, your surroundings spinning. You had only one mission now – survive. While the man was picking himself up, cursing and inspecting his painfully grazed hands, your eyes focused on the back of his head.

What if this was Seonghwa? What would you do? He had betrayed you, didn’t he? He had no right to be in your life again, regardless of your instincts. Regardless of how terrific he looked and how much he wanted you. An otherworldly rage overtook you as you imagined the devil in place of this sinner. In his designer suit, with his slicked back hair and chains that would glitter like stars even in the dim light. The set up made your body act on its own. You were fuelled by your anguish, and each sensation in the present turned into a re-enactment of your inner turmoil that had built up over the time. The guttural shriek, the stinging tears threatening to roll down your cheeks as you shut your eyes and swung with all your might only to meet-

-nothingness. A strong grip of your wrist and a firm chest pressed against your back prevented you from moving. And again, that familiar scent. Your drug. Your demise. The emergency exit door snapped itself shut, suggesting that Seonghwa had only now made it into the alleyway, and an odd sense of calm enveloped you. For the time being, he was the lesser of the many evils.

“Oh, ‘s you! Mar-”

The stinging sound of a gunshot, lulled into an ambient slumber with a silencer. Time slowed, and you swore you could see the bullet soaring through the air, about to collide with the skull of the man whose fate had been sealed. But a blink before you could bear witness to the impact, darkness overtook you, and you were embraced in an overwhelming sweetness, vision sealed with a resolved, mercilessly protective hand. You were spun in a macabre dance, now facing the gangster, breathing against the crook of his neck and focusing on the freezing cold jewellery that caressed your cheek. Nothing more than a sigh, a tainted soul escaping from the mouth of the drunkard, before you heard a thud of his body colliding with the cold concrete. 

You sincerely wished you could feel remorse, but all that you could identify in your body was an insatiable curiosity, and a perplexing connection of the societally horrific event with what had happened to your ex. So, that was how he had been disposed of, huh. The same damn signature. And he was most likely lying when he was trying to assure you that it was not the same man. His hand was too stable, heart was too calm, and the way in which he pressed his soft lips to your jaw, and once your sight was returned to you, your cheek, were all telltale signs that this was not the first time he had killed with you as his prime motivation.

“You’re awfully calm for someone who was ready to murder, darling.”

The words rang out in your head and the realisation hit you, cutting through the comforting fog that had settled over your psyche as you drifted in black irises. The bottle which you had picked out of the trash to serve as your weapon suddenly felt unimaginably heavy, and it began to slip.

“Now, now, we don’t need to cause any more of a mess…” gingerly, the bottle was taken from you, and clinked against the smoking gun as Seonghwa was more preoccupied with keeping your full attention on him. While you were still tame enough for him to manoeuvre, He returned the weapon under his jacket.

Dizzy, you swore you were within inches of delirium. Darting from one one part of his face to another, you soon spotted a tiny splatter of blood on his cheek, and lifted a trembling hand to caress it. Eyes wide, you watched as the crimson spread under your thumb and left a trail whilst you were wiping it away. Lips parted, you were locked in a soundless scream. This was not a joke. That man, no longer a man, a soon to be carcass, crow food, was dead. And without a doubt, Seonghwa was going to tell you that it was your doing. Turning slowly, you caught a glimpse of the aftermath, and the dark dots that now decorated Seonghwa’s side that had been the closest to the drunkard.

“Look at me, darling. Look at me.”

“But I, but he-”

“I said. Look at me.”

“But you kill-”

A crash resonated as Seonghwa threw the bottle against the opposite wall, the olive-coloured rainfall covering the dead body and rippling over the dumpsters. Knees buckling, you wanted to collapse next to it then and there, only to have a gloved hand force your face to be right against his.

“You are a lethal flower, darling. Shame this had to happen.”

“Shame?”

“You’re shaking. Did this man touch you?” with a concerned air, Seonghwa inquired, his breath hot against your skin. Discreetly, he began to step towards the exit of the alleyway.

“N-no… but-”

“Did he scare you?”

“Y-yes… a lot.”

“For fucks sake, these idiots have no self control, hurting my precious angel like this.”

Precious angel. You were his precious angel. So he did care, at least somewhat. You had a space, a chance to corrupt what was left of his heart. Your forehead was against his as you allowed him to guide you out of the cramped space, careful to sidestep when he told you, lifting one leg, the other when he whispered that you should do so. This felt right. He was back. He was here. He was ready to do anything for you. This was where you wanted him. While you were busy processing what had just unfolded and fading into your beloved manifestations, Seonghwa pulled you into an embrace and began to direct two of his men who had snuck in through the emergency exit and were awaiting instructions. After a couple of raises of the eyebrow, and one point towards the bag which you had abandoned, they began to tiptoe around the area, ready for a rapid spring cleaning.

Wherever he was taking you, you had no choice but to follow. Such was the rule. Even if you had other ideas and plans, now that Seonghwa was back, you had to fall into his rhythm, and figure out a new strategy that would not cause a dissonance. Your clouded mind was lulled by his low instruction. Slow down here, now heading out onto the street there… you were a puppet in his hold. You were… a criminal. Weren’t you? You froze just as the two of you approached a parked car, and judging by Seonghwa’s immediate instinct to reach into his pocket, you assumed it was his. No, you couldn’t. This was… you needed to go home. Conflicted, the hold you had on Seonghwa’s jacket loosened.

“Darling?”

“I… I need to go home.” his soft smile fell, replaced with a judgemental grimace. Retaining a fraction of decency, he refrained from shoving you against the vehicle, instead choosing to subject you to scrutiny.

“You are home.”

“Here?” you surveyed your surroundings, figuring out that you were outside Estelle, and luckily, there were no longer any stragglers who regularly tried to make it through into the venue past doors closing. The street was ghastly, located in one of the most dangerous parts of the metropolis housing anything from cheap alcohol and sex to designer drugs and assassins. Anything one could desire, they could find here. Was this really your home?

“Yes. With me.” Seonghwa was reeling you back. A click, and the car was unlocked. Keeping you within reach, he leaned to open the passenger door. You shook your head.

“No… no… I don’t want to be a-”

“Don’t want to be a what?” he insisted, and squeezed your upper arms, as if he was about to shake the answer out.

“A criminal.”

“The fuck?” 

“I am… look… I was… Again I was so ready to-” the man who was probably still in that alleyway, blood spilling like wine out of a glass that toppled over, occupied your vision, and you gawped at the bloodstain on Seonghwa’s cheek. 

“But you didn’t. You did not kill him.” Sighing, he stated as-a-matter-of-factly, not wishing to deal with a breakdown, far too attracted to you physically to care for what effect his expression of affection had.

“But I made you…”

“Oh baby, no you didn’t. I did it out of love for you. You had no part in this except being my angel. Darling, Y/N, come on…” picking his words carefully, he permeated your barriers, crawling into the expanse of your mind palace like a virus.

“I am no angel. The law literally says I committed crimes. I should not be here. I should never be here-”

Evidently this caring approach was not functional. You were simply melting into him and turning into a sappy mess, instead of the coldhearted bitch who he had spoken to in the club. Where were you? Where was the goddess who wanted nothing more but to hurt him? He had deconstructed you a little too much, it seemed, you needed a bit more venom in your system. Seonghwa snapped.

“You know what. You are right.”

“Huh?” still too dazed to answer properly, you hummed.

“Who do you think got you out of a jail sentence in the first place, huh?”

“I- I don’t… What?” eyes narrowing, Seonghwa peered into your soul. He needed you to wake up if he was going to give into his obsession.

“Talk to me. Take a guess. Do you really think that the judge was benevolent? Fuck… girl, you’re naive. That bastard passes his bank account around the courtroom, you really think he woke up one day and felt like being nice just because? Oh no… sweetheart. I got you out. You hear me? I did. Because like hell are you gonna be anybody else’s. Huh, you tried your best with that idiot rotting in the ground. Bet you screamed my name as he fucked you, right? Tell me, is that right? SPEAK, sweetheart, don’t piss me off.”

Noticing how you could not contain your tremors, he released his grip on your upper arms, only to position your hands so that they rested on his waist, while his cupped your face. What was supposed to be an intimate gesture felt like a stare down with a wild beast. His expression was that of a predator, pupils dilated so he could refresh the memories of every piece of you, while his lips curled into what you interpreted as a crooked, pitying smile.

If you did not know better, you would have believed that your love that was reflected in his dark orbs was actually his. But he was a twisted, terrifying man, who could only take. As such, most you could expect was his suffocating coddling, his treatment of you like you were of his design. His cooing as he peered at you and saw how you were putty under his touch. You hated him precisely because you knew you could never escape.

“Oh baby… my lovely little angel, look at you. Don’t you know that I would do anything to make you smile? Come on, you know that right?” he wiped a stray tear with his right hand, and you swore you caught a quiff of blood and gunpowder, blending with a hint of alcohol that was still on his breath from earlier, all to be washed away by that scent you always adored, vanilla, flowers, coffee. Seonghwa. You nodded, which seemed to provide relief for the man.

“And I will never let your pretty hands get dirty, okay? If you need somebody dead just say it my darling and I will do it. Me. You are my angel. And now, let me prove it to you, alright?”

Whatever noise had existed before was now but a soft buzz of a streetlamp. No rustling. Not a single droplet. Suspended in an intimate fog, you studied the criminal, the hardened killer, the bloodthirsty demon in front of you. The one who was so hellbent on getting you to follow him to the realm below, even though you had never left. It was simple. He led, you followed. He told you to jump, you jumped. That was all he wished for. And perhaps this was indeed your fate. Not to be rushing around in hospital corridors, nor to be collecting banknotes in a g-string. But to completely fall from grace for the embodiment of an apocalypse, who more than willingly closed the space between you to taste the lust you had been suppressing, relishing your shared sin.

Bang bang, that awful sound…

The wind styled your locks as Seonghwa sped deeper into the night, abandoning the artificial lighting of the underworld district. From bars and clubs, to sleepy neighbourhoods, and finally, the inspiring expanse of rolling hills and rocky slopes, he was taking you to a place where you would never be bothered nor controlled, yet one that gave you a view of the city that was so breathtaking, that it was easy to believe you could destroy it. Estelle would be smaller than ever, and your problems would be nothing more than a haze on the line of the horizon. The cliffside had been your spot when you were something of an item, with you always begging for Seonghwa to take you there, if not for the alone time, then at least for the striking skyline. How oddly romantic of him to pick the spot now.

Relaxing into the leather seat of the Rolls Royce convertible, a new addition to Seonghwa’s collection - as he had informed before starting the car, you tested the strength of the breeze by stretching your hand out of the window and letting it float. After a couple of tries, you finally got into the right pose for minimal resistance, and pretended that you were a bird, soaring, cageless. The glimmering dots of the city even further from you than now as you spread your little wings and lifted yourself towards freedom. In moments like these, you were happy to be able to enjoy the simplicities, and it was easier than ever to pretend that you were not the Y/N who had fallen so irreversibly for a beast, that to you even his lies sounded like the truth. And, of course, it was easy to imagine that Seonghwa himself was capable of feeling love.

He did not bother taking off his gloves nor, which was uncharacteristic of him, clearing the remnants of the execution off his face, as if it was a badge of honour. Interestingly, the more you observed the gangster, the more you got used to the new additions and even took them as complementing features. While he kept one hand on the steering wheel, he continuously seeked contact with you, the other gripping your thigh as if to make sure that you were still there in the car with him and were not a hallucination. The exhilarating velocity at which the car dashed past trees, somnolent villas and road signs was barely letting you catch your breath due to Seonghwa choosing to keep the roof off, and so to stabilise yourself you returned the gesture. The smirk into which his lips curled was not quite as threatening as it had appeared before, however his aggressive slam on the accelerator made you start praying. What would the family that had not yet disowned you think, if they were to find you in a crashed car with one of the most notorious men in the region? You chuckled; they would probably agree that at least the last thing you saw was beauty himself.

Finally, you approached the secluded location, and fortunately, it was as abandoned as ever. Grinding to a halt on a gravelly clearing, beyond which were two lines of wooden fences that had been set up at the very edge of the small cliff, Seonghwa set the car into parking, cranked the handbrake and turned off the ignition. A deafening silence overtook you as you looked up at the night sky, twinkling stars reminding you of the collection of silver that hung around the enigmatic fiend’s neck and on his left ear. In the absence of machinery, you could feel his presence even more acutely, and the anticipation for what he undoubtedly had planned was reducing the supposed coolness of the hour into a mere deception. Your body was burning up, and as Seonghwa’s hand moved higher and higher until it was teasing you by playing with the drawstrings of your tracksuit bottoms you had to consciously remind yourself to breathe.

You stared out at the metropolis through the windshield, registering your beloved criminal’s movements towards you. As you studied the glinting whites, reds and yellows that formed the urban starscape, you could not help but ponder how, out of all the millions of people, in this architectural phenomenon that seemed to stretch on forever, on a day when you were not even supposed to be where you had ended up being, you had run into none other than Park Seonghwa. And as fate would have it, you were naive enough to let him take everything from you. And being the loved up, hypnotised fool that you were, you thanked him for the misery in which you found yourself, because at least he made you feel. With him you were a disaster, but you saw life in colour. With him it was impossible to tell whether there would be a tomorrow, but you could exist in an exuberant today. With him, the everchanging palette of emotion had a canvas to paint on. And tonight, you were going to let the masterpiece create itself.

“Take the gloves off if you want to touch me so badly.” you derided him for his eagerness, though did not see any dampening to it. On the contrary, he appeared to be more drawn to you than ever, mumbling a ‘sure thing, darling’ as he unbuttoned the leather, and slid the pair off his hands with his canines to speed up the process. The gloves found a home in the compartment underneath the wheel, to join the harness and pistol that he had stashed away there.

“Good?” he asked, giving you a mischievous grin.

“Good.” no more words were needed for him to pull you towards him, and lock your lips together in a feverish, thrilling kiss.

Oh, how you missed this. How you missed the mind-numbing sensation of his hand on the back of your neck, how soft his lips were compared to his sharp and intimidatingly stunning appearance. You moved in a familiar rhythm, having recognised one another’s alluring presence and only wanting more with each passing second. Frustrated with the remaining distance, Seonghwa growled into you and dragged you by your top; understanding his goal, you rose from your seat and promptly were settled on his lap, grinding against his growing erection that was concealed by too many layers of clothing for your liking.

Brushing his hair back, lightly tugging on it as you reached the ends, you were giving yourself up to the scalding hot hellfire. Your memory did not fail you: the action elicited a groan, and the kiss was further deepened until your lungs were screaming for oxygen. Pulling away, you gasped, only to be alerted by a stinging pain on your cheek, and a hostile grimace on the man, whose hand was hovering next to your jawline.

“Did I say you could pull away?”

“And since when are you so damn needy?” You challenged, slapping away the hand that had just collided with you, and placing yours on his exposed throat, not bothering to ease into the action as you pushed your digits into the sensitive skin, restricting his airflow and preventing him from taunting you with a mocking retort.

You continued to rock your hips forward, sensing your own arousal climbing further and further amidst the enjoyment of the man’s temporary obedience. You watched his eyes roll back momentarily, and he attempted to tilt his head towards you and steal your lips, only for you to wriggle in his lap until you were completely out of his reach, still holding his neck.

Seonghwa was seeing stars, and yet amongst them you still shined the brightest. There you were. This was who he was searching for. When he was at his limit, and could no longer withstand the restraint, he rapidly reached for your wrist and yanked your arm away, making you yelp. To prevent you from attempting anything similar, he used his hands as cuffs to keep you under his control, and pulled you to him. Giving you a smirk corrupted by lust, he kissed you again, only this time letting his long tongue part your mouth, and swirl itself around.

Wanton sounds filled your mind and preoccupied your ears as you parted, strings of saliva connecting you. Apparently dissatisfied, Seonghwa raised an eyebrow, and gripped your waist. Sitting up, he mumbled ‘back seat’ and stumbled out of the car with you wrapped around him. In seconds, you were lying on the couch-like leather, Seonghwa above you as he shifted his attention to your neck, leaving trails of spit, and nipping at the skin until he saw the beloved bruising begin to show. Sucking above the jugular vein, he imagined himself tearing you apart then and there. Destroying you. But the way in which your hands swiftly moved to unbutton his shirt was too enticing to not commend.

“Look who is needy now.” he teased, and reached for the zipper on your hoodie, unable to contain a pleased sigh as he saw that you had not changed out of the white dancewear. As soon as the hoodie was off, and flying in the direction of the steering wheel, he let himself devour the tainted goddess that you were.

Trailing over the fabric, he did not wish to take it off, the image of you around the pole still fresh in his mind and amplifying his lust. His lips made contact with your chest as he added more love bites to his abstract design.

“You drove me crazy earlier tonight with those moves of yours. How could you even consider anything else when you have a body made to sin?”

“I think you are batshit by default.”

“Do you want me to punish you again?” he threatened, discontented when it had no effect on you as you contended. 

“By what, hitting me? Two can play that game-” as soon as he saw your hand flying towards him, he caught it and forced it down by you, and chuckled.

“Be a good girl and you’ll come.”

“Big deal.”

“Says the whore who was grinding against me.”

He shifted to untie your sweats, and dragged the material down to reveal your matching white g-string, stopping for a second before moving to take it off too. The bra was going to be enough for him.

“Says the reprobate with a hardon from the bare minimum.”

He did not respond, too enraptured by the sight before him. Your form, laid out and so familiar, and yet, the newfound resolve and the bite in your words was boundlessly more attractive than the mellow nurse in training that he had fucked before. The blaze that had festered and grown within you, painting your psyche and very essence in the soot of detestation was a guiding light to him, a star in the pitch black that he gravitated towards, and wished to take over. Your strength and determination spurred him on and inspired him to make you reach the point of no return. How? He was yet to decide. But that came after he had his fill of your intoxicating body.

“Damn, Y/N, do I even need to get you ready for me? You’re so fucking wet-” he remarked, running a hand over your pussy, with it immediately receiving a dose of your slick.

“Guess you don’t.” you countered, attempting to shut your legs together, but to no avail as your brattiness only encouraged him.

“You know what. I am in a giving mood. A changed man. Ready to commit some good deeds.” he announced to you in a low, borderline monstrous tone as Seonghwa pulled you by your ankles closer to him and began to work at your arousal.

After a slow start, where he languidly circled your nub until you gave out a whine, the man dedicated himself wholly, and soon enough, you were sinking into a sensual paradise. The two digits pumped into you, while with his other hand Seonghwa was stimulating your sensitive clit relentlessly, rubbing the erect nub until you were barely able to produce any sound at all. Pressing his thumb right against its tip, he curled his fingers and beckoned you closer to a climax, stopping the motions, he kept his hand inside as he replaced the finger that was dominating your clit with another thumb, and instead took to rapidly building you up with practised, fast flicks, higher, higher, just as you were about to-

Your hips jerked up, only to be met with a total emptiness as you tried desperately to coax Seonghwa into giving you your orgasm, to which he only responded with a click of his tongue, and a demonstrative sucking of his digits as you watched him with a glazed over expression.

“You rude, unbearable menace.”

“Awh, is my precious angel angry that I did not give you what you wanted?” he asked, giving his cock a couple of pumps before making a circular motion with his index finger and ordering you.

“On your hands and knees, like the bitch you are.” immediately, you obliged, unable to contain yourself after he had denied you what you had been seeking, with that devilish grin suggesting just how much the notion had excited him. Finally, he undid his belt and trousers, letting his aching length spring free, a hiss escaping Seonghwa as the cool air hit it.

Finding your slick-coated pussy with the tip of his cock, he teased you, repeatedly moving it back and forth between your folds. When you let out a whine, rocking your ass side to side in an attempt to deliver your need for more friction, Seonghwa merely chuckled and pushed forward, keeping his member flush against your sex, but not offering any relief. Your wetness coated him as he continued the torturous act, pausing to flick your clit and snicker at just how desperate you had become for his dick.

“Tell me if you want it.” Seonghwa wanted to hear you beg, or sigh, or anything else to suggest that you were fully pliable, but what had come out of your dirty mouth surpassed all his wishes.

“You want this pussy more than I want you, judging by how fucking hard your cock is, Hwa.”

Without as much as a warning, he put an end to the foreplay and slammed his hips against yours, sinking deep inside and groaning at the warm invitation of your walls. As he heard you yell out, he mercilessly glided back until only his tip was between your labia, only to thrust and bottom out once more. And again. And again. Just as he had remembered from the nights he had you before, this left you trembling, and soon enough your body was pleading for more, to which he happily obliged, smacking you on the ass and speeding up.

The feeling of you spasming around him and the feeble moans were an unrivalled art. He positioned one hand to hook around you and held it against the area right below your belly, biting his lip as he felt his dick pushing deep inside you, the bulge detectable by his palm. Closing his eyes, Seonghwa focused on this sensation, thereby slowing down ever so slightly, and moving to hit the spot that accelerated the growth of the knot in your tightening core. 

“A-ah… Seong… hwa…” you mewled into each stroke, hazy and unable to form anything more than nonsensical babble.

“That’s right, darling, only I can make you feel this good.”

Seonghwa was despicable, because he knew exactly how to make you lose your mind and fall apart under him and forget that you ever hated him at all, driven only by a carnal passion. Having had enough practice to study you, you were at his mercy as he provided the exact fullness that you had been desiring for so long, the exact firm thrusts that were bringing you closer and closer to a total fall, and the honey-laden voice that had you turning even weaker.

“My- darling-”

Your climax came down on you hard and fast, and you crumbled into the shaking that washed over you, forehead almost connecting with the back of the seats if not for the fistful of your tresses that Seonghwa had grabbed. Not letting you ride out your high, he quickened his pace and each thrust was making your vision darken and your moans turn into pathetic wails, drowned out by the lewd slapping of skin against skin that was lubricated by your orgasm. Using you as a fucktoy, he chased his own high and pushed you into an abyss of violent pleasure, ceasing to abuse your cunt only when he deemed it necessary for himself.

He slid his cock out of your pulsating sex, dragging it over your clit before ushering you to kneel before him. Movements still too slow and lagging, Seonghwa proceeded to guide one leg, then another down, so that you were ready for him. Lifting your chin, he he peered into your hazy orbs and commanded:

“Open.”

As you slackened your jaw and opened your mouth wide in obedience, he spat into it, and upon positioning one of his hands at the back of your head and the other at the base of his member, he slid into the warmth, sighing as your tongue glided along his throbbing length, as if encouraging him to go deeper until his tip hit the very limit and bumped against the back of your throat. You struggled to suppress your gag reflex, but the salaciousness of the combination of yours and his spit and your orgasm dribbling around his cock as you began to bob your head was driving Seonghwa to the brink of insanity, and you desperately wanted to see him unravel entirely.

“Ah… that’s it. My good cock slut. This mouth is built… for me.”

You allowed him to choke you as he fucked your throat with abandon, submitting to the oncoming waves of his orgasm. Clawing at his thighs you seeked balance, to which he responded by pushing you even closer, earning a muted yelp. The vibration drove him over the edge as he pumped himself inside you only a few more times, before collapsing into a series of staggered bucks of the hips and a muttering of filthy curses.

“Swallow darling, I bet you were dreaming of this- ah, fuck-” he exclaimed. 

He threw his head back as you centred yourself, trying to relax into how his hand that was tangled in your hair kept you so close that your nose was pressed against his pubic bone, though it proved to be an impossible challenge. In an effort to overcome the pain that spread over your jaw as Seonghwa refused to let go of you, you blinked away the moisture in your eyes and focused on the sensation of the hot, salty cum coating and running down the back of your throat. 

When he finally released you from his hold and let you fall onto the floor of the car, you sputtered and gasped for air, vision having grown blurry. While he did not comfort you, nor praise you for how well you had taken him, even though judging from his state you could make your own conclusions about the performance, this roughness felt more real, more honest than the intimacy you had shared before. You licked the corners of your mouth, collecting the remnants of his cum and spit, and crawled up onto the leather seating to be met with open arms, a gesture which, in your exhaustion, you accepted.

Captured in a lazy embrace you admired the universe that surrounded you. The dawn was imminent, with some of the more enthusiastic birds already greeting you with their songs and the distant rumble of the city beginning to pick up, and yet none of this felt real. It was like you were floating in the air, tethered to the mortal realm only by the man beside you. You had taken the liberty of snatching Seonghwa’s suit jacket, considering that the outerwear you had been wearing had been unceremoniously discarded and thrown into the driver leg space, outside of your immediate reach. 

You pondered what was going to happen after this broken reunion, that had been as always, orchestrated by the evil mastermind with a pretty face, currently resting on the seats, one arm over the door, the other on the back rest, head tilted to the sky. When you inspected one of the dark spots on the right sleeve of the jacket, you had come to realise that the dead man, who you had left behind to chase your pleasure, had, amidst his departure from the living, was trying to greet Seonghwa. Using his gang name, no less. You wanted to laugh until tears would be streaming down your face. Double over and, hands hitting your thighs, fail to compose yourself and continue laughing at just how ignorant you were. Fooled once again. Of course that scene had been this criminal’s doing. How else could anything ever happen to you if not with Seonghwa’s meddling? This overly involved, human embodiment of jeopardy who you had voluntarily invited in to share space and time, so elegant as he was devoid of movement, counting stars in the sky, the unbuttoned white shirt gracing his figure like a heavenly robe. It was a shame that you had to have chosen him to glorify, especially since he fit the role well enough to fit into your delusions.

As you sat upright, only to put your elbows on your knees and lean to catch your head in your hands, you mused whether you truly despised this man or not. It was almost habitual, routinely, to curse his name again, and again until it was nothing but an incoherent collection of syllables. It was your shield and clarity, your comprehension of the incorrigible man who, come the opportunity, would shoot you down the same way that he did to hundreds, if not thousands of others. It was heartbreaking, gut-wrenching, but unfortunately true. In his eyes the individuals with families, friends, hopes and dreams, hell, even those with nothing at all, were nothing but sacks of bone and blood that he could scare into submission, or drain if they disobeyed. Such were his methods. Methods that you had looked the other way from, making yourself believe that you were above that amateur, unjust purgatory. No matter how much of you Seonghwa received as an offering, it was never going to be enough. The seven deadly sins were a bucket list for him, and one in which he would outshine every reckless criminal. He was systematic, calculating, and would not hesitate to remove a variable that no longer served him.

You were serene, a ghost of a smile dancing on your lips. Slowly, you blinked, immersing yourself in the sensation of the bites, the kisses that the man you had once felt something for gifted you. Sultry tattoos that you would wear with the pride of a person who had defeated themselves, come to terms with, and learnt to coexist with inner turmoil. Nothing short of a miracle. If this hell were to continue, then you would simply have to adapt to live with the ebbs and flows of a turbulent tide. Hilarious, how you were treating Seonghwa as if he was a terminal disease that you had to live with, but the analogy was comforting. Until the moment when you would receive a bullet between your brows, you would strive to live fully, and remain indifferent. As much as you had wanted to ‘get the final word’, you had come to realise that all you had to say had been said, and he was no longer worth your time. Looking at the horizon, you spotted the sun beginning to stir under its heavy blankets, getting ready to rise.

“You thought about me, didn’t you?” Seonghwa’s voice broke your peace, and you turned to him, regarding his bewitching demeanour with a tired onceover.

“Hm?”

“You were thinking about me, in that alley way. Weren’t you?” so, he had realised now, too. However, you were not bothered to continue this discourse. Fascinating how the mind of even the most evil of men could get fixated on the simple things like a random good-for-nothing becoming a gourmet meal for maggots.

“I am not sure why or how that matters.”

“Would you kindly get the gun for me?” Now that piqued your interest, so you obliged, and reached over the front seats, aware of how your ass was on full display for Seonghwa though he had just seen you in even more lewd tones. After a couple of tries, the hand gun was in your hands, and hooking it by the trigger guard, you tried to pass it to its owner. To your surprise, he refused and you remained standing in your perplexion.

“What are you getting at?”

“You definitely thought about me. As a matter of fact you were thinking about doing this for a long time.” you could not deny that, and thus remained silent, “Remember how I taught you to fire a gun?” the man continued, and you nodded along.

“That I do, but again. Not sure how it applies.” you crossed your arms, the pistol swinging ever so slightly from your index finger.

“Don’t you want to fulfil your dream, darling?” he raised an eyebrow and grinned.

Another game. Another dare. Another attempt at making you feel something when you had no more emotions to spare. You were spent. For the first time since you had first come to be acquainted with Park Seonghwa, Seonghwa, Hwa, Mars, you saw a stranger. A passing face who you would regard, but most importantly, go on your merry way and never wish to see again. No more yearning, nor begging. He was cute when he thought he was in control. You chuckled, earning a questioning gaze from the ghost of your past.

“What is so amusing, my dear Y/N? So delighted that you can barely contain yourself?”

Oh, if only he knew. You steadied your breathing, and through half-lidded eyes, took in the man’s form that you had once worshipped. Everything had finally clicked, and unknowingly, the symphony in your mind was now fully composed, all to Seonghwa’s rhythm. Your magnum opus, by the visitation of a brutal muse, completed. With the softness of a stalking cat, you bent forward and came face to face with this boy, and with both hands, pressed the gun to his bare chest, smiling languidly as it collided with the necklaces to make a noteless tune. Seonghwa’s eyes widened as he followed your ascension back to now leaning against the front seat further from him, stifling a laugh of his own as he realised your intentions. The world held its breath as you dispelled your nightmare, and, light-hearted, like you were discussing daily happenings or the weather, asked him:

“You said you’d keep my hands clean, right?”

“Yes.” breathless, he whispered.

“You said you would kill anyone for me, right?” you continued sweetly, studying how Seonghwa checked the magazine and clicked the hammer with practised motions, appearing almost impressed.

“Yes.”

“Do anything to make me smile?” you tested, and he conceded, brushing a hand over the barrel, and looking up to memorise your every detail.

“Yes.”

“Then prove it. And make me smile. One last time.”

You uttered, admiring how his perfect skin, his gorgeous eyes, his dark soul glowed, caught ablaze in the rays of the rising sun.

Bang bang, my baby shot me down.