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ajokeformur-ray · 4 years

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Safe inside myself with you // J x Lilith // comfort cuddles.

Summary: Life is hella stressful and you need a minute to think, to breathe, and, shit, you really need a hug. That’s it lmao that’s the fic.

A/N: Inspired by the fact that I desperately want a hug and written for @jokershyena omg ilyyyy~ <33 you work so hard and you do so much and your pack is extremely proud of you <333

HE LOOKS SO CUTE IN THIS GIF I WANNA RIOT OMG :((( PRETTIEST FERAL TRASH PANDA I’VE EVER SEEN <333

Word count: 2, 216.

You had always thrived in chaotic conditions but this was not what you had meant. Left, right and centre were responsibilities and duties cropping up; places to visit, papers to file, rules to remember for your job, various arrangements to make, not to mention the things which you had to do for yourself and in your own home... Oh, but you were so exhausted from trying to get everything done in the time that you had. The thoughts in your head were so loud, buzzing around inside your mind like angry wasps, and yet somehow was your mind calm and still as you balanced on the edge of some kind of overload.

Everything was somehow too much and yet not enough all at once and you were almost dizzy from even thinking about everything that you had to deal with on a daily basis. Spring allergies, academic arrangements, your job, and not to mention trying to keep up with J and his whereabouts on any given day... by the time you finally bedded down to get a few hours of sleep every night were you too tired to even attend to your own mental health. You were too busy for yourself and it was all that you could do to keep yourself productive, for if you stopped to think about how you were feeling, how physically and mentally exhausted you were, you weren’t sure what would happen.

But J knew.

J always knew.

There was nothing you could do and nowhere you could go which J didn’t know about. In a decidedly unconventional mode of protection had J given you a burner phone so that he could keep an eye on you. So long as you were safe, J was content. It wasn’t that he worried about you, per se, but he wasn’t able to fully concentrate on his ideas unless he received almost hourly updates on where you were, what you were doing. Sometimes, you didn’t text him, but his goons, stationed in and around Gotham, texted him in your stead. In return, for everything is fair and discussed at length between the two of you in your companionship, did you receive almost hourly updates about J’s whereabouts from his goons. You knew not if J knew about it, but you were incredibly appreciative of the troubles that his men went to in order to alleviate your worries and fears. J could spontaneously disappear for days at a time and it was next to impossible for you to rest even a little bit unless you knew at the very least that he was okay, even if you didn’t know where he was.

He was reckless and impulsive and it was the part of your relationship which you undoubtedly struggled with the most, but for J you could and you would endure almost anything. J always, always came home to you, often looking worse for wear, but the fact that he came home at all spoke volumes about just how much you meant to him. You were his hyena, his night monster, his Lilith, his home, and you were the only one in all of Gotham who knew him, who saw him. You weren’t afraid of him, you weren’t. You looked upon his facial disfigurement with love and touched those jagged wounds with such reverence that he often felt a lump in the back of his throat whenever you had those much coveted and quiet moments together. Though he never told you in as many words as those did J love you, and he showed you every day. His love language was subtle and easily misheard or even inaudible unless you knew him and once you did, once you had become fluent in his love language had you come to discover that it was one of the loudest and most fluid languages in the world. One only had to stop to listen.

Many a night had he come home to you when you were on the very edge of sleep, your threshold consciousness muting your voice and slowing your movements down as you stretched and arched your back like a cat to welcome your clown home. He often got into bed with you bare faced and freshly showered, if you were lucky, knowing as he did that you did not want to cuddle him when he was reeking of gasoline, gunpowder, greasepaint and sweat. On especially bad nights, however, when he had been gone for too long or when he was just too tired, did he simply collapse down beside you atop the covers for you to happily discover in the morning.

On this night, however, did J come home early - before you even went to bed. Aware was he of your mental and physical exhaustion and of everything which you were battling in your life currently, both within and outside of yourself, and he wanted to make sure that you knew that he was there for you. The entire world was a bad joke to J but you... oh, you were the one thing in his life which he could be threatened with, that he wanted to protect. If you were even remotely serious was something wrong with the state of the world, more so than there usually is, and even if he didn’t especially care for your endeavours did J care for and about you. You were his hyena and he was your clown and he wouldn’t allow anything less than you being completely comfortable and feeling safe within yourself and in the world as it was.

Presently were you in the kitchen, the fridge door wide open as you grabbed one of the many cans of Monster which J kept you supplied with. It was one of his many affectionate gestures; in keeping you steadily stocked with Monster was J telling you that he knew you and the things that you enjoy, the vices that you have, and though the volume that you drunk on even a daily basis concerned him, even slightly, he couldn’t and wouldn’t deny you anything if it was within his power to give it to you. And everything was in J’s power - at your word would he burn the entire world down. Just for you. Everything was for you. You were the centre of J’s world, his reason and his purpose, his guiding light and his home, and there was nothing you could ask that he could refuse. You pulled the tab of the can and made your way back into the living room, wearing nothing but one of J’s old shirts and a pair of lilac panties - incorporating your ship name into your daily life was something so small but the power that it held over you was monumental. It motivated you, grounded you and centred you like nothing else, other than the man who held your entire heart in his hands.

“Well, hel-lo beautiful.” It was a good thing that you had just swallowed your mouthful of Monster, otherwise you would have choked, both from surprise at hearing J’s gravelly voice speaking from the sofa, and from the extreme level of affection and of love that washed over you at that moment. J’s intense chocolate gaze moved over your body and one corner of his mouth curled upwards appreciatively. He never made you feel like you were anything less than a work of art worthy of being displayed in a museum. “And you are beautiful.”

“J!” There was an upwards lilt in your voice as you smiled and made your way home. You set your can down on the coffee table and then flopped down gracelessly on the sofa beside J, comfortable enough around him to not care that you were only wearing underwear beneath his discarded, previously worn shirt; so desperate were you to keep him around you even when he wasn’t physically here. Your head was leaning against the arm of the sofa, your feet touching the floor. You were slumped over, truly exhausted and more than ready for sleep, especially now that you had your clown home with you. Oh, but everything was so much better when J was home. He was safe and alive and you could look after him, love on him, and know that he was yours as much as you were his. You were soulmates in every definition in the world and no matter what, come hell or high water would the two of you always find your ways back to each other, back home. Twelve years, twelve fucking years, had led you to this. J was the very best part of your life, the very best of you, and though rarely, if ever, did he speak such words did you know beyond all shadow of a doubt that it was the same for him.

“You’re, ah - ya’ leanin’ the wrong way, Lil.” J’s low gravel of a voice broke through your threshold consciousness just enough for you to crack an eye open.

You understood what J was saying and you didn’t even bother to hide your grin as you sleepily moved so that your head was leaning against his upper arm. J grunted and lifted that arm so that he could tuck you into the side of his body, his fingers splayed across your opposite shoulder as he rubbed his hand up and down to chafe some warmth and comfort into you. It wasn’t enough for you, however, and you applied some pressure to where your head rested on his arm. “Cuddle me, you coward.” Your voice was soft, your words slightly slurred, so tired were you. Now that J was home, now that you were home did you crave sleep more than ever and you just wanted to sink into everything that J was, ever had been and would ever be and never resurface; you wanted your soul to merge and to blend with his one, to occupy one body with him, so that never again could you be torn asunder, even by yourselves.

J grunted, his head dangling over the back of the plush sofa. He didn’t even open his eyes as he grabbed you somewhat roughly and plonked you on his lap. “Don’t, ah - don’t bother tryna’ keep your weight off me, doll. Ya’ not gonna’ break me.” The inflexion of the word ‘weight’ suggested that he was insulted by the implication that you were somehow too much for him. You were always enough for J, always, just by being your wonderful, sweet, kind, giving, generous, loving, caring, nurturing, intelligent, hardworking, compassionate, chaotic self. You were physically gorgeous, this J knew even if you didn’t, and though your body was a temple did J also lay worship at the altar of your mind; for your beauty was on your inside and on your outside; a rare jewel were you.

You grinned at how well J knew you and you nuzzled your face into the warm crook of his neck as you got yourself comfortable. You wound your arms around his broad shoulders and pulled yourself into him, your legs slung over his lap, your feet pressed into the plush cushions of the purple sofa. Yet another reminder of your clown and the love that you had built together which you had been determined to get into your home; for you wanted J to always and forever completely surround you. You were safe so long as you knew J to be in your life, to be yours and indeed did he feel much the same way. He was nothing without you; the world was truly the cruellest joke without you in his life and by his side, where you belonged.

Oh, but this is what you needed. The heated weight of J’s chest against your own, his pulse against your lips as you lavished his neck with kisses, your bodies pressed together deliciously. There was nothing sexual in this, but the sensuality of an embrace as tight as this, of two bodies being so completely entwined that you couldn’t tell where you started and where J ended was almost sinful. Almost. J’s arm was wound around your hips, holding you in place - for he missed you as much as you had missed him - and his gloved fingers in your hair, smooth and solid strokes calming you and easing you gently, gently, into sleep.

Only once you were asleep, your body a dead weight atop J’s own, did he allow his own eyes, burning with his own exhaustion, to slide shut, and as Morpheus came to collect the two slumbering souls in your home did he see nothing but love, so strong that it was almost a third welcomed entity in the room, and he saw that he had no need to protect either of them. For no matter what would the two of you fight tooth and nail for the other person. You would kill and die for the other, though your individual protective streaks were such that neither of you would ever even consider allowing the other person to be put into such a position.

Yes, the hyena and her clown were a match made in Hell, and neither of them would ever have it any other way.

#heath ledger #heath ledger imagine #the dark knight #the dark knight imagine #ledger joker #ledger joker imagine #ledger!joker #ledger!joker imagine

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szopenhauer · 4 years

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What star sign is the last person you text messaged? Aries

How did you feel when you woke up today? not well

Do you know what the person you're dating is doing at this moment? napping

Who was the last person to make you cry with laughter? my gf

Who was the last person you talked about sex/love with? either her or my father

Who introduced you to the person you're in a relationshop with? my high school classmate K.K.

How many brothers does your father have? two

When was the last time you did something which you knew was wrong? I don’t know what’s wrong and what not, ugh...

Do you still speak to your first crush? nope

If you could get your own house with one friend, who would you pick? dad but I’d prefer to live alone

Which is worse, too-tight clothes or much too-loose clothes? too tight are worse

What is something that you are willing to fight for? hmm...

If you jump, can you touch the ceiling of the room you’re in? noooo

Which do you think is worse: ear aches or tooth aches? tooth aches

How many different colors are you wearing right now? 3 (4 counting panties)

You can only listen to one band for the rest of your life, who do you pick? omg I can’t choose :o

Do you like big or small cars better? big

What store do you get the majority of your shoes from? *shrug*

What place, in your mind, is heaven on earth? How about hell on earth? there’s no such thing as heaven on Earth to me as I would bring myself there and ruin everything but almost whole planet is hell mostly because of people

Do you think there is anything scary about midnight? midnight is the time of ghosts but no longer minute before and/or after :P

Can you snap with both of your hands? yep

In your opinion what is the absolute worst house chore? laundry?

How young do you think is too young to get married? definitely under 20 but I think it’s best to get married 30+

Who do you think is the dumbest superhero? I can’t believe Green lantern is an actual superhero...

Would you rather be a hair stylist or a clothes designer? clothes designer

Would you rather be 3 inches taller or shorter than you are now? taller

Are there any foods that you think smell good, but taste bad? possibly

Would you ever stay overnight at any of your neighbors houses? why would I?

Do you think it would be cooler to play a hero or the villain in a movie? hero

If you had the last name of your favorite actor, what would your name be? I like many actors so...

how many syllables does your first name consist of?: 3

do you know someone who is allergic to chocolate?: used to know

have you worn a dress [casual, formal, etc] within the past week?: not within the past week

when was the last time you saw the last person you kissed?: days ago

is that person your significant other?: yup

last person you talked to on the phone and what was it about?: mom, I informed her she probably didn’t take out the matches from my pocket and now she’s washing my shorts with ‘em inside the machine and my instinct was right so she turned it off in the last moment, minutes or even seconds later water would soak the package and that could ruin the clothes, I wish she checked or asked while taking my stuff away

got any plans today?: been to laboratory, done shopping but am too tired to help my parents in carrying wood

were you born in an odd or even numbered year?: even

did you drive anywhere at all today?: took the bus

which of your parents did you see last?: both at once

describe your current shirt: black tee Nie każdy musi mnie lubić w końcu nie każdy ma dobry gust with Lil My

are you currently listening to music?: I’m very picky about songs today

do you fill out your own surveys or do you think it’s just weird?: I do

where did you buy the shoes you last wore?: Biedronka (Tom & Rose)

last disappointment?: health issues

do you still talk to the person you first kissed?: yeah

did you seriously believe that the opposite sex had cooties in elementary?: I didn’t think about that

did you take a nap today?: I barely ever take naps in general

name something random in your car: I don’t own a car

would/did you cheat on someone for revenge or if they wouldn’t find out? neither

would you rather be remembered for something bad or forgotten? forgotten

would you date someone twice your age for money? only if I really had to survive and there was no other way but not forever?

rate your self-confidence, 1 being insecure, and 10 being cocky. I’m insecure but not sure how much

are you content? I wish

would you knowingly be who someone cheats on someone else with? cheats with me on someone they pretend to love? hell no

would you sleep with a teacher to pass a class you were failing? ewww, yuk

have you ever contemplated physically hurting yourself or another? mhm

are you prejudice against any groups of people? I am

is there anything you chose to be ignorant about? (war, animal rights, etc) maybe

would you replace any family members if possible (& who)? oh well...

do you lie when asked how you’re doing? what for? to blame then for not noticing? to be an ass who’s lying?...

do you have any plans for tomorrow? meeting with M.

are you able to get a tan? not much

the next time you are on an airplane, where will you be traveling to? umm... no thx

are you satisfied with the picture on your id card? could be worse but also could be better

what are your chances of getting with your crush? I'm taken

what color is your car? no car!

is the song you’re currently listening to being sung by a male or female? two women

where did you get the shirt that you’re wearing? it was a gift

how tall is the last person you kissed? taller than me

is anybody in the room with you right now? not rn

how long have you been with your significant other, if you have one? 3 months

do you enjoy dried fruit? meh

How’s your day going? blergh

What does your umbrella look like? I borrow my parents’ umbrella, I hate umbrellas

Do you share a room with anyone? there are furniture with stuff inside that don’t belong to me

Do you have socks on? Describe them. grey

Are you one of those people who has like a hundred apps on their phone? I have spotify, choices, tumblr, tik tok, fb and messenger

Do you have good reflexes? I guess

Picture you think is cute.

Do you like blowing bubbles? sometimes

Are you better at posing good questions or coming up with outrageous dares? depends

Has there been a celebrity death that really affected you? I cried after some celebs but that’s all

If you’re out of high school, have you stayed in touch with your high school friends? I haven’t :(

Do you think, if it came down to it, that you’d be able to kill someone? I believe I might

Are you good at rating things? am not

Do you get into a lot of arguments? :x

Can you pass for older than you are? can’t even pass for my real age lmfao

Do you talk a lot? at times

Are you capable of finishing a game of Monopoly? it’s not that hard

Do you own any tie-dye clothing? I hate tie-dye

How much soda do you drink in a week? - Do you like being asked questions? love Are you nosy? slightly

How well can you pay attention to someone talking? depends What is the closest yellow thing to you? rosary Would you mind living on a farm? I’d try Are you a patient person? wouldn’t say so What annoys you the most about people? what doesn’t... Does your computer freeze a lot? my browser freezes right after turning on the computer and my internet dies often

Have you ever ate glue? wtf

When is the last time you took a picture? this day

If you could know one thing about the future, what would it be? when will I die for example

Do you like Ellen Degeneres? she’s awful

Are you comfortable dancing in public? whatever

Would you like to live to be 110 years old? I wanna die already

Do you like getting your picture taken? I’m ugly

Do you like being the X or the O when you play tic tac toe? X

What do you think is the most popular name for a girl? I checked:

Zofia Hanna Julia Zuzanna Alicja Maja Helena Maria Oliwia Pola

What about a boy?

Jan Franciszek Antoni Aleksander Stanisław Jakub Adam Leon Mikołaj Szymon

*do ya like any?

How many people are around you right now? my family’s in the kitchen eating so I’m alone

Do spicy foods give you heartburn or make you make you gassy? both and more

Is body hair attractive or unattractive to you? it’s normal/natural?

Do you prefer bare feet or socks? socks

Hard wood floor or carpet? hardwood

Would you ever want to work in a toy store? yasss

Do you like asking questions better or answering? answering

Do you follow your head or heart more? head

Would you rather give up your hand or your foot? foot

Have you ever tried crowd surfing? too risky and no fun

If you could have 16 wishes, tell me just one you wish: I don’t need 16, 3 are enough

Do you like the movie Bambi? If so, who is your favorite on there? I don’t remember Bambi

Would you rather be on the computer all day or watch TV? computer

Would you rather be a police man or a firefighter? police

Do you like jokes or riddles better? jokes

Do you like onion rings? disgusting

Do you like odd or even numbers better? even are easier to count

Last song you heard? Marroon 5 - Animals

Ocean or lake? lake

Do you know a lot of people with the middle name Marie? weird but no, Anna is more popular

Do you like loud or quiet people better? smth in between unless in public - quiet strangers are better

Taking pictures or getting your picture taken? taking

Do you like chocolate? meh

Favorite day of the year? New year’s eve?

Favorite holiday? same

Crayons or markers? markers

Snookie or Vinny? Snookie

have you ever been to an animal shelter? that would break my heart

are you tired right now?

who is the worst actor or actress in your opinion? there are plenty have you ever bought someone else lingerie? nope where are your parents right now? run around the house like crazy if you have a dog, does it bark a lot? luckily not, he howls rarely too have you ever seen a magic show? sure can you juggle? I tried to learn but failed

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zesbian · 5 years

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I’m mobile so I can’t do a read more and not quite sure how to tw tag this so ya know fair warning cause it’s detailed and long and might be triggering in some parts but I’ve got to get this out cause it’s 2am and I hate everything

tw weight loss, tw chronic illness, tw body image

so like when I was in like middle school I grew a bit and lost what I had assumed was baby fat (cause I’d always been a cute lil chubby kid) but I kept losing weight and when I was in high school I weighed like 100-110 lbs by my sophomore year, which is like Not Good cause I also had a bunch of stomach issues that was later diagnosed as crohns. so like I was being treated for it my senior year and I was also starting to develop curves so I was pretty thin but like slowly getting a small cute lil ass and I was like rly into the way my body looked in comparison to the year before where I was extremely sickly and thin and made fun of constantly, (like ppl made anorexic jokes and even tried to straight up imply it and all sorts of other mean and hurtful shit) it made me feel awful but in a weird lonely way I was kind of into it cause at least people were talking? If that makes sense? But yeah I was missing a lot of school as well because I’d either be at doctors appts or staying home because I had thrown up the night before (and that 24 hours rule was a thing so I couldn’t come in) or even just cause I’d been up all night with stomach pains and I was too tired to go to class. so all these things combined made me feel extremely insecure, as Crohns itself is an invisible illness until the symptoms of weight loss come into play, and things like visible signs of dehydration, etc. and like yes obvs worth is not connected to weight but when you’ve got a gastrointestinal disease that literally causes your weight to rapidly fluctuate then you start to think “my weight equals wether or not people think I’m weak or dying, people can tell how sick I am”. that’s a LOT for a high school girl to take in, esp when that’s a period where everyone is constantly seeking visual approval. so I got used to being skinny, even though I knew that the skinner I was, the more likely my crohns was slipping back into the “severe” category. by college, id basically started to gain all my healthy weight back, but the more I saw my hips fill in or my stomach get it’s rolls back (id never had muscle, just been soft), I’d start to think “yes I’m healthy, but now I’m not thin anymore?” which is obvs a rly toxic way of thinking but by then it had been ingrained in me that I was the Thin Sick Girl, and of begun to associate that body type with my personality, which is def a red flag and I knew that but I didn’t care really. so sometimes when I saw myself getting soft again, I’d skip eating for a day. it was never to the point of an eating disorder (although I had my concerns at some points; def some aspects of wanting control in there) but I did find myself slipping into that way of thinking and even occasionally sneaking looks at p*o-a*a content; which I am not proud of, but you gotta understand that this was a form of self harm. I was harming myself for becoming healthy, which is just so fucked up looking back but whatever. anyways it’s been a while since I’ve done that sort of thing, and I’d even gotten used to my healthy weight and was proud that I’d finally gotten past 120-130 lbs!!!! which is a big fucking deal and so good!!!!! but a month ago I started taking vyvanse for my adhd and one of the symptoms is weight loss cause it’s an appetite suppressant and I didn’t rly notice I was skipping meals and feeling sick until I went to the psych yesterday and she weighed me (cause of the side effects) and I weigh 110 lbs again. and I’ve been feeling so faint and getting migraines and if I try to eat like I used to then I get nauseous so I think my stomach has shrunken and it feels so much like before cause im skipping everything except breakfast and/or I’m drinking coffee as meals and I’m so tired and I fucking hate this cause all my hard healthy work went down the drain and I’m so scared I’m gonna start slipping back into that weight related self harm again and this time it’s cause of a medication that’s improving my life in literally every other way except this one thing and I’m so so tired of being sick and having to try so many different medications

#tw weight loss #tw body image

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sn0wblinded · 5 years

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questions 1-98 ( go big or go home ;) )

ya killin me hollis );

1. Unfortunately, I am 5′1, pros to anybody who wants a nugget for a gf or friend

2. Body type? uh I suppose slim and slender with an hourglass shape

3. Favorite part of my body would have to be...erh...uh...my eyes? I love the shape of them just wish I had blue or green eyes :(

4. HAH my hair color now is NOT my natural hair color loll I have naturally crazy dark brown hair where it’s almost black but I love blonde in the summer so catch me in the fall for my dark roots ;D

5. Um I’d say it depends where I am and who I’m with as to whether I’ll be shy or outgoing, typically I’m shy until I feel comfortable enough to be myself, or unless someone gets enough drinks in me hahah

6. Uh I’d say I’m probs more on the femme side, like I luvvv getting dressed up and looking super pretty if I’m not sitting on my ass being lazy af.

7. Super duper smol bean

8. Hands down I’d be a wine mom

9. Hmmph weird habit? Uh I’ll mouth whatever someone is saying as they are talking, even sometimes before they say the next word and I don’t even know I’m doing it. I catch myself doing this watching shows or movies and I hateeee it. “How do you know what I’m saying??” is the usual response *rolls eyes*

10. OOOHHH my fav meme would have to be the one with the baby orangutang and her crazy hair bc she’s a hot mess and I’m a hot mess ._.

11. who doesn’t sing in the shower???? the acoustics man, i’ll give my SO a full-blown concert w/ an encore. will it sound good tho?? who knows

12. um I’d love to go full Merida and learn how to use a bow and arrow tbh

13. I was never a theatre kid :( I wanted to be in HS

14. I’ve never seen a broadway musical but def something on my bucketlist

15. Musicals are kinda cheesy but that’s what I love about them

16. I’ve never been a part of a protest or march, but will def be in the future when given the chance

17. My fav Cards Against Humanity Card would probs be “What is Batman’s guilty pleasure?” love having a good giggle at the responses

18. The last movie I watched...that I can think of was Final Destination 2 and was reminded why I can be paranoid af about some stuff LOL

19. Uhh preferably not behind or infront of the camera, not photogenic and my hands aren’t steady enough to take decent photos BUT I’d love to do photography if I had any skill in it

20. If you know me, like come on, F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

21. just listen to Snowblinded by Kill Hannah nuff said

22. Uhh I joined tumblr back in 2011 my freshman year of HS bc I wanted to release my teenage angst, and then I left after a few years and came back this year:) Luckily my OG url was still available

23. Um you know

24. Most people love chocolate and I hate it loll Fight me pls ;P

25. Narcotics? Nope sowwe

26. HAH expose me much?? hahah Def not a virgin lemme say that ^-^

27. Um my neighbors little brother caught her and I kissing underneath her sheets when I was a super duper smol bean, technically wasn’t bad but we couldn’t do it anymore:/

28. Oof idk what the funniest lie is that I told... omg

29. Hmm... expression through words...take a guess what that passion is

30. My best friend is one the most supportive and loving people I’ve ever met and I love her to death

31. Um lemme keep my secrets ;)

32. I’m super tired but also feeling really motivated so it’s kinda conflicting but oh well das my life

33. My biggest fear is probably ending up alone (amongst a few others)

34. I Like Me Better by Lauv

35. The best decision I’ve made in life thus far was deciding that I’m going to start love being myself regardless of societal expectations and internalizing everything because of the fear of others judgements etc. This is my life and I plan on living it up the best way possible.

36. Um who hasn’t? Failure always leads you one step closer to success

37. I fantasize about finding someone whose soul fits perfectly w/ mine

38. I cried the other night but happy tears bc I no longer have to hide who I am

39. A meme I was sent in a group chat

40. Mm...maybe..my lips are sealed

41. A few of my closest friends

42. Uh every single day at the end of my last relationship

43. I’ve started to realize who my true friends are, and people’s true intentions

44. Submissive AF, but a lil control here and there isn’t bad

45. I’ll only date you if you’re okay w/ eating lots of pasta and long jam sesh’s

46. Preferably someone my age or a little bit older, but if I click with someone a year or two younger than me then whatevs :)

47. um I’d describe my crush but it’d be a dead giveaway LOL

48. any kinks? oh sweetie.. I’m not as innocent as this halo may make me appear ;P

49. First thing I notice in someone, physically would be their eyes, personality-wise would be their sense of humor.

50. Best way to win my heart is to bond over music

51. Uhh wow like allll the time LOL

52. Once again, like alllll the fucking time *rolls eyes*

53. Oh I plead the fifth on this one

54. Trust is a big thing for me, but I usually know right off the bat now if I can trust somebody or not

55. Um no bc anybody I like lives miles and miles away >_>

56. Confidence is hot, not cute, hot. Make me swoon.

57. My heart would probs ache

58. If you can’t make me laugh we won’t even be close to dating loll

59. Uh no and I’m sure they will never have a clue bc I’m shy af about my feelings

60. ...too many storytimes there

61. Hopefully one day I marry the love of my life

62. Pleading the fifth bc I’m stuck between a couple

63. Turn ons: Whisper in my ear, light touches, and cute messages (keeping things on the cleaner side (; )

64. Hate is a strong word, so Trump

65. Babygirl melts my heart but so does sweetheart and princess

66. Charlies Angels hands down...

67. Oof... intimidating in a sexy and intriguing way? Hell yes, but I love a kind soul

68. Somebody who truly loves me for me and is always up for adventure, and has an impeccable taste in music.

69. I tend to like whoever I like :P

70. HAH good one

71. The first person I came out to was my sister, a few years ago, and it went alright I guess until we had a heated argument and yeah...but I came out to her again recently and it’s helped us grow closer together.

72. I have a quite a few friend who are and luvvv them all

73. um....ya

74. Oof...I honestly can’t remember

75. Maybe later, this is already wayyyy too long.

76. I used to but I’d say it takes a lot more for me to fall IN love

77. Yeah so let’s not talk about it :3

78. Good at hiding my feelings? Uhhhhhh

79. Forgiving? I’ll forgive but I never forget who has hurt me.

80. Uh...I have quite a few, want the whole list? LOL

81. Whichever one would comfort both of us in the moment

82. I like a girl that’s taller, even if it’s just by a little bit. Honestly it doesn’t take much with how smol I am :[

83. Um can I have both? Hugs and kisses pls k thx

84. Be twirled :3

85. Um both mmmff

86. I love forehead kisses, but if you wanna make me melt into a puddle neck kisses are the way to go.

87. I’d do either or, kinda hard for me to choose which one more.

88. Depends on my mood, love me some soft kisses but bet your ass I’m always down to makeout

89. If I’m feeling the need to be cute hug around the neck, if I’m being a lil more touchy then hugs around the waist

90. I used to contemplate my sexuality constantly because of growing up in a religious family and internalizing everything, but without a doubt I’m 100% confident in my sexuality. This is me, take it or leave it baby ;)

91. Uh I blush and get a massive load of butterflies, feeling like I’m on cloud nine etc. I’ve liked people and just felt comfortable and never had butterflies and such but FUCK do I love feeling giddy and happy all over from just the mere thought of them.

92. Yes, typically that’s how it starts out with me and it ends in either of two ways, mutual or I embarass tf outta myself

93. I had my first kiss with a girl when I was 7, and man did I never want to stop. But, I knew for certain that I really liked girls when I was in sixth grade and wanted to watch any and everything that contained wlw content, hoping and wishing to have that one day.

94. Be myself? LOL

95. Ohmygosh... favorite lesbian ship... Laura/Carmilla, Alice/Robin (OUAT), Yorkie/Kelly (San Junipero)...these are only a few of a long list

96. The most aggravating thing that’s personally been said to me about my sexuality would be between being told this is all temptation and comparing it to acts of disgusting scum of human beings(pedos and adulterers), and also being told it’s only a phase... I can’t roll my eyes hard enough

97. Um like probably a few minutes ago :3

98. Love is being completely comfortable in being who you are around someone, and loving the good and bad parts of each other.

If anyone actually reads up until this point I just gotta say...I’m sorry LOL

and you’re a trooper

#asks #i wanna go to sleep now #yastillkillinmehollis

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perfectdayforsomemeihem · 7 years

Text

An Honest Woman - A Meihem fluff fanfic Chapter Three

Mei-Ling Zhou x Junkrat (Jamison Fawkes) - Meihem fanfiction

Summary: Mei finds herself in a predicament with Junkrat, and how he might take it scares her. How will her teammates react? How is she supposed to move on from this?

is mainly a fluff story. It may contain some mild language, and some possible adult content.

by Miki - PerfectDayForSomeMeihem/MikiSneaki

DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION

You can also find this work in the link below. Chapters are posted there first. http://archiveofourown.org/works

Chapter Three

The sound of giggles and soft moans caught Mako's attention as he made his way back onto the practice range. He knew exactly where they were coming from, and for a moment he almost felt tempted to just turn around and leave again. Unfortunately for him, he couldn't do that. The three of them were all expected to be at an agent meeting in five minutes, but Mako figured the couple would be so preoccupied with Mei's news that they'd probably forget all about the meeting. Sure enough, he was right.

A small part of him also wanted to make sure that Mei was okay. He liked Mei, and he understood how scared she probably was to tell Jamison that she was pregnant; anyone would be at least a little nervous about such a life changing experience. He had faced this same situation long ago, before the Crisis took his normal life away.

However, by the sounds she was making and the looks of where Jamison's hand was at the moment she seemed to be doing more than okay.

Mako coughed to get the couple's attention, and immediately Mei's eyes darted open. Jamison, however, didn't seem to notice his partner as his lips trailed up Mei's midriff.

Seeing that Mako was now watching them Mei became mortified. She immediately shoved a surprised Jamison off of her, sat up, and smoothed her sweater down back over her stomach. She was too flustered to say anything, so instead she kept her gaze to the ground trying not to make her blush so obvious.

Jamison scowled as he regained his composure. "What the hell, Snowy? Why-"

He turned around.

"Oh, hey Roadie!"

The fact that they had been caught red handed didn't seem to affect Jamison in the slightest. In fact, his cheeky smile suggested that he was pleased with himself. This of course made Mei feel all the more embarrassed.

Mako rolled his eyes and sighed. "We have a meeting."

Mei's eyes widened in realization.

"Gāi sǐ*! I forgot all about it! Oh no, we only have three minutes to get there! It's all the way on the other side of the base! We have to- Eek!! Jamie, what are you doing?!"

In one swift swoop Jamison had managed to get up from him seat and lift Mei into his arms bridal style. A cocky smirk appeared on his face as he started the trek back inside the base. Mako followed behind shortly after grabbing the file Mei left on the bench.

As the trio made their way to the conference room Mei struggled to get down from Jamison's arms. However, her attempts seemed to be in vain; the more she moved the firmer Jamison's grasp became. It infuriated her all the more seeing that he was enjoying watching her get frustrated.

"Jamison, put me down this instant! I can walk on my own two feet!"

"Well it wouldn't be very gentlemanly of me to make a beautiful, pregnant lady like yourself walk all the way across the base, now would it? So just shut up, and enjoy the ride, alright darl?"

For a moment, an offended pout appeared on Mei's face, but it was quickly taken over by an amused smile.

Gentlemanly? Yea, right.

Finally, Mei stopped her thrashing, looped her arms around Jamison's neck, and committed to her fate.

"Well it's not very gentleman-like to tell a lady to ‘shut up’, now is it?" She imitated Jamison using an over exaggerated drawl.

Jamison gave an undignified snicker at her “Aussie accent”. "S'pose not, but you were gettin’ on my nerves! Here I am just tryin' to be nice to my lady, and she's all up in arms wantin' me to drop her!"

Mei rolled her eyes. "Okay, okay. I get your point. I guess I was just a little worried; I am a bit heavy to be carried across the base like this."

"Oy, enough of that. Your lighter than my RIP-Tire, and I lug that thing all over the fuckin' place."

Mei briefly smiled at the compliment before recalling just how much she weighed. A shocked look came to her face as she looked back to Jamison. "Wait, how heavy is that thing?!"

Jamison smirked. "Heavy enough to blow up any dipshits that think they can mess with me. My record for the most kills with one of those bad boys is five."

Mei cringed for a moment thinking about who those five people may have been, but then she reminded herself not to think about Jamison's criminal past. Yes, the Junker may have had a history of doing horrible things, but there was a different side to him. As she got to know him Mei had been exposed to his more human side.

The man was inventive, imaginative, passionate, and funny, and despite how many people were out to get him he always seemed to have a positive outlook. As far as he was concerned the whole world could fuck right off. There was only one person's opinion he cared about, and that was Mei's. Almost every day he made that apparent to her, and the fact that he chose to care for her out of all of the people in the world made Mei fall in love with him.

Deep down Mei knew that Jamison was just another human being trying to make it through life just like her. She knew that life had been harsher to him then it had been to her. He needed kindness, and that's why she promised herself that she would love him no matter what she learned about him.

So, she smiled the new information off, and let her head rest in the nook of his neck. "I guess I just keep forgetting how strong you actually are."

A sultry smile came back to the Junker's face. "Do you now? Maybe I'm gonna have to find ways to remind ya." He whispered in a low, husky tone. Mei could see that there was a dark, devious intent in his smile, and it only got more intense as she blushed.

"Get a room." They heard a groan from behind them.

Jamison turned to Mako for a moment. "Soon enough, mate, soon enough! Oh, you reminded me; guess we're gonna have to call you Uncle Hog from now on, ey?"

The elder Junker simply shrugged at the suggestion, but despite Mako's clear lack of interest Jamison had convinced himself that his partner adored the idea.

"What do you think Mei; Uncle Hog, or Uncle Roadie?"

Mei was about to answer, but before she could the three heard someone behind them ask, "Why are you talking about calling Roadhog an uncle?"

Mei could feel her heart drop realizing that someone had been listening in on their conversation. The three turned to see who it was, and were met with Hana's crafty smile. She had been so curious that she actually paused the game on her hand-held gaming console so she could investigate.

"H-Hana! How long have you been listening in?" Mei became quite nervous, but the Junkers seemed to be as cool and collected as ever.

The gamer smirked. "I heard Roadhog tell you two love birds to get a room. You didn't answer my question though; what's with the uncle talk?"

Mei once again was about to answer, but she couldn't think of what to say quick enough. Instead Jamison beat her to it.

"It's cuz our lil’ Mei here is pregnant! I'm gonna be a dad, Hana!"

Mei gawked at Jamison; how could he be so blunt?! She was half tempted to scold him, but she stopped herself when she saw the look on Jamison's face. He was already so proud about their baby, and it made her heart soar.

So instead Mei simply covered her face, and waited for Hana's reaction.

The gamer proceeded to freak out.

"Jangnanhanya?!* No way, you're pregnant?! That's so awesome! I'm so happy for you! I can't wait to tell-"

"No, wait!" Mei struggled once again to get down from Jamison's arms. The sudden movement caught the lanky Junker off guard, so he finally gave in and put her down.

As Mei made her way over to Hana she took the younger woman's hands into her own as if ready to beg to her. "Hana, please don't tell anyone! I don't know how some of our teammates will react, so I want to figure out how to tell them myself."

Jamison and Hana both gave her confused frowns.

"Aw, but I feel like everyone will be excited for you two." Hana admitted.

"Well... Jack might not be."

Jamison began to scowl a little. "Christ, that's right. Soldier boy's got that stick up his arse about me." He thought to himself.

Jamison knew that Mei and Jack were close friends, and sometimes it made him nervous. Not that he would ever admit that. Not to mention Jack had made it particularly obvious that he didn't like Jamison. When the veteran found out that the two were dating he confronted the Junker.

Jamison remembered his exact words; "If you do anything to hurt her you'll have hell to pay, and I'll personally see to it that you pay it."

The young Aussie waved him off, but there was still a small sense of nerves that made him wonder how Jack truly felt for his girlfriend.

Hana sighed, "Well, can I at least tell Lúcio?"

"I suppose that's okay, but tell Lúcio he can't tell anyone else!"

Hana gave a small, triumphant punch to the air. “Aw, yeah! He's gonna be so excited for you guys! Congrats, you adorable nerds!" She exclaimed, wrapping her arms around the couple and giving them a surprisingly strong squeeze.

"Oh! By the way, I think Uncle Hog is much cuter!"

They heard a scoff behind them from the larger Junker, but Jamison didn't care. He proudly beamed as he walked over to Mako and patted his shoulder. "Uncle Hog it is then!"

｡｡｡｡｡

Eventually the group made it to the conference room; it was a large auditorium style room near the front of the base that had a sloped floor declining from the back to the front. Two sets of stairs that lead towards each row of desks hugged the walls on opposing sides. If someone hadn’t known any better they could have assumed that it was a large classroom at some pristine university.

Every Overwatch member was there, and they occupied themselves with a personal task, an electronic device, or a conversation with one or more of the other members. Near the front sat Ana and Angela who were having a causal conversation until they noticed Mei and Jamison.

Angela subtly waved to Mei getting the climatologist’s attention. When she looked over she saw the two women were shooting her a questioning look. She knew exactly what they were wondering, and responded with a smile, her hand resting on her belly as she gave an excited nod. It was her own subtle way of telling the two, “We’re keeping the baby.”

Ana and Angela couldn’t help but express their excitement for her, and started to once again chat amongst themselves. This time their conversation became about what they could do to help Mei.

Meanwhile, the moment that Hana saw Lúcio she ran over, grabbed the surprised Brazilian, and dragged in into a more secluded area of the conference room so she could quietly tell him the good news.

Mei had already found a seat with Jamison and Mako, and watched as her other two friends spoke with each other. Lúcio's face lit up, and when he looked over to the couple he made numerous excited gestures seemingly unable to pick one.

Mei simply giggled at the display of excitement, and waved hello to her friend before she felt a very slight jab on her arm. Turning she saw Mako handing her the file she left outside.

"Here."

"Oh my gosh! I completely forgot about this! Thank you, Mako." She smiled.

The elder Junker shrugged, and returned to his own seat.

His younger partner watched over Mei's shoulder as she located a pen to start writing with. As she opened the file Jamison’s eyes glanced to the termination papers, and a thoughtful look came to his face.

"Oy, Snowflake, can I see these papers for a sec?"

"Oh? Uhh, sure. What for?"

After being handed the file Jamison proceeded to take the termination papers, and crumple them up into a ball. Afterword’s he unceremoniously threw it onto the floor behind him. "No need for that junk."

Watching the display Mei’s expression went from slightly surprised, to amused. Of course, he would make such a gesture in the messiest way possible.

Reaching behind her she grabbed the scrapped paper, and set the paper ball off to the side before turning to Jamison so she could lean in, and give him a small kiss on the lips.

"What am I going to do with you?"

"How’s ‘bout another kiss?"

The young woman giggled, complying as she met his lips once again. Being wrapped up with one another Mei and Jamison felt that, at the moment, everything was perfect for them. They were so distracted by their blissful afterglow that neither one of them noticed that they were being watched.

At the front of the room Jack scowled at the pair. He took the display of affection as a sign that Mei's news to Junkrat had gone well. He did feel slightly surprised that the criminal was okay with such a thing. He would have bet money that Junkrat would have wanted nothing to do with a kid. Multiple worst-case scenarios had played in his head ranging from Mei being made to get rid of the baby, to her being forced to have it just to raise it all by herself. Either way, in his mind that Australian bastard was never in the picture.

Of course, he didn't know Jamison like Mei did.

"Jack."

The veteran turned to the sound of his name being called. Ana and Angela looked at him from their seats in the front. These looks suggested they weren’t happy with him.

Ana shook her head in disapproval. "Are you just going to glower about this whole thing? Why can't you just be happy for her? You were happy for me when I had Fareeha."

"You were different. You-"

"Weren’t someone you loved, right?"

Jack glared at her. "How about you both mind your own damn business?"

Ana felt tempted to retort back, but she was dissuaded on the idea as Winston cleared his throat and began to speak.

"Alright, now that everyone is here we can get started!"

Ana shot Jack one more look that seemed to say, "This conversation isn't over," but Jack pretended not to see it.

The meeting progressed much like any other meeting; Winston talked about recent changes in political climates and how they would affect upcoming missions, reviewed reports on the successes and failures of previous missions, and began outlining potential clients for new missions.

Much like other meetings Jamison would have been bored out of his mind if he had been paying attention. However, unlike the other meetings he had a perfect distraction. He watched intently as Mei filled out her form as if something magical was going fly off the paper. Every so often his eyes and his hand would wonder towards her belly, and Mei would respond with a warm smile. It was a weird feeling not being able to see proof that his child was there, but he knew it would come soon enough.

While Jamison found himself distracted Mei was able to multitask; she was able to listen to Winston and retain what he said, and fill out all of her personal info onto her supplement form. She knew she would probably have to explain everything that Winston said to Jamison all over again after this meeting, but she didn't mind. Jamison would listen to her and understand her a lot better compared to Winston anyway.

She would occasionally look up as the ape projected some information onto the conference room screen. As she did so she began to notice a few things.

She could see a scowl on Jack's face, one that suggested that he was a little more grouchy than usual. Also, for whatever reason, he and Winston wouldn't make eye contact with her. Jack’s seemingly fixed his stare to the floor, but Winston was the one that convinced her that they were deliberately not looking at her. As the ape spoke his eyes would scan and meet with most of his teammates gazes, but today he wouldn't meet hers.

She shook it off figuring that maybe she was over thinking things, and went back to finishing up her form.

As she did so Winston finally came to the last docket of the meeting; assigning people for the newest missions.

Mei didn't normally go on any high combat missions, but would rather be selected for delegating or scientific research based missions. There were multiple upcoming missions she was expecting to be a part of as she and Winston had spoken of them weeks prior to this meeting. She set her pen down for a moment, and was ready for her name to be called.

However, much to her surprise, Mei would never get called.

Winston started with the combat missions; the first was a simple apprehension mission to Oasis University. Genji, Orisa and Fareeha had been placed on the mission; not to surprising Mei wasn't a part of it.

Then an escort mission was then outlined. Once again Mei wasn't too surprised when only Hana, Lúcio and Zarya were placed one the mission.

Next, a demolitions mission; of course, Jamison and Mako were prime candidates for the mission, and were therefore called upon. Jamison's trademark grin came to his face as he gave a small, excited exclamation, turned to Mako, and made a comment about living the high life of getting paid to destroy shit. Mei rolled her eyes and shook her head.

Finally, Winston got to a data collecting mission in Cairo near the Temple of Anubis; this was definitely one of her missions. Mei had discussed making Cairo a new location for an Ecopoint as she had limited data on heat fluctuation and measurements of rain fall in Africa or any other place with such constant heat. She was excited to get started on developing a new location, so it caught her off guard when Winston called who would be sent.

"Let’s see... Ana, since you know the place best you'll be leading myself, Satya and Lena on this mission." The ape pause for a moment and looked quizzically at his paper copy of the itinerary, almost as if he was internally debating something.

Then he looked up, and for the first time for that entire meeting he finally made eye contact with Mei. She gave him a confused gaze, and it almost seemed to make him anxious.

He quickly turned from Mei, readjusted his glasses nervously, and continued. "W-Well, that covers that mission; let's move on!"

Mei sat there now even more confused than ever, as she tried to piece together what was happening. Jamison could see the look on her face, and leaned over close to her so he could whisper.

"What's wrong?"

Mei leaned over to Jamison and replied, "I'm positive that I was listed to go on that mission to Cairo. I don't understand; why would Winston take me off?"

Jamison gave a shrug. "A fluke, maybe?"

Mei frowned. "I suppose, but how could a ‘fluke’ like that have been made? Winston and I have talked about that mission several times."

Jamison moved his chair over so that he could get closer, and rest his head on hers. "Mei, don't worry your pretty little head over it. It was probably just an honest mistake. You can fix it later."

Mei sighed, and leaned backed against Jamison. "I suppose so."

Despite Jamison's attempts to comfort her Mei soon found herself even more upset. The couple had listened in as Winston read the schedule week by week, and soon they found that she wasn't on a single mission for the next month. Not even the ones specifically noted as Ecopoint work! She wondered just how a "fluke" like this could happen, but then she noticed something.

Looking down towards the first few tables she saw Angela, and for whatever reason she also seemed upset. The doctor turned to look at Mei, and they made eye contact. Mei could see that there a small semblance of guilt in her eyes as Angela mouthed out the words, "I'm sorry.” For a moment Mei couldn't figure out what she was sorry about.

Then, in an instant of grim realization, it all clicked. She recalled thinking to herself about how she would tell Jack and Winston about her pregnancy, and during these thoughts she kept thinking that they would react almost exactly like this.

And why would Angela apologize? Perhaps she told them?

So, was that it? Was all of this because they learned she was pregnant?

Her question was soon answered as the meeting drew to a close. Winston had finished talking about the last mission when an awkward look came to his face, and he began to speak once again.

"Oh, uh, before we adjourn this meeting we have an announcement."

He motioned over to Mei who sank nervously in her seat as everyone's attention suddenly went to her. Her blood ran cold as she thought to herself, “Oh, no… Please no..."

"It seems that Miss Zhou is expecting a child. I suppose we should all congratulate her, and wish her the best of luck with her new... endeavor."

The room was quiet for a second before Hana and Lúcio in the back started to cheer and clap for her. Shortly after everyone followed along, and began to voice their congrats.

Not everyone was enthusiastic as Hana and Lúcio, however, and Mei could clearly see it.

The moment Winston began his announcement Jack’s scowl seemed to get worse. He rolled his eyes, and quietly made his was out of the room while everyone else was clapping.

“So, I was right… I knew he wouldn’t be happy about this.”

Tears began to well up in Mei’s eyes, but this time it wasn’t because she was disappointed or sad.

No; she was pissed.

Winston cleared his throat as the clapping died down, and tried to smile. "Alright, meeting adjourned!"

Jamison smiled, and looked towards Mei. "Well, seems like everybody's happy for us-"

It spooked the Junker for a moment when Mei suddenly sat upright from her seat causing the chair to make a loud, scraping noise against the floor. Much to his surprise there were tears forming in her eyes, and a frustrated look on her face that she was trying to cover up.

"I-I'm sorry. Excuse me."

"W-Wait, Mei! What-?!"

Despite the fact that Jamison was talking to her Mei bolted. She quickly made her way down the stairs on the side of the room, and out the door past many of her teammates.

Jamison was a dumbfounded. He got up from his own seat and started after her.

"What the hell do ya think that was that all about?!" He exclaimed to Mako.

The elder Junker bumped his arm to get his attention, and pointed towards the front of the room.

"Could be that."

Jamison looked to where his partner was pointing; it was Angel Doc and Grandma seemingly having a harsh conversation with the monkey. The women seemed to be upset about something, and they were taking it out on their hairy Commander.

"You don't think... Aw, fuck it! I don't have time for this!"

Mako watched as the young Junker quickly made his way out of the room to follow Mei. After he was gone Mako sighed, reached over for the file that Mei forgot about once again, and began to make his own way towards the front exit.

As he got closer he could hear Angela's scolding Winston.

"How could you do that to her?! Why would you take her off of missions like that! Also, what were you thinking telling everyone her personal business like that?! What if she wanted to keep it private, and let everyone know when she was ready?! What if she isn't keeping the baby?! Did you ever think about that?!"

The ape nervously scratched his face. "I- Uhh... I suppose I didn't think of that. But look, I can explain about the missions. You see, Jack told me-"

"Hey."

The three turned in surprise to find Mako towering over them.

The large Junker looked towards the doctor, and handed her the file. "She finished it."

Angela seemed confused by his statement for a moment until she realized that he was handing her Mei's folder. She took it from his hand with a small smile, and nodded. "Thank you, Mr. Rutledge."

To this the Junker simply mumbled, turned, and walked off.

Angela opened the file to looked through the paper work. Reading the form quickly she gave another small smile before turning a stern gaze at Winston.

She took a deep breath. "She’s keeping her baby, by the way, but that doesn’t mean you can keep her off her own missions. Fix this, Winston."

｡｡｡｡｡

Jamison followed as close as he could to Mei, but at some point, he lost her. He listened in as best as he could to try to figure out where she went, and that’s when he started hearing the harsh tones of someone having an argument. He quietly made his way down the halls, making it to the hall just outside the barracks where he was able to find the source of the quarrel.

He peeked around the corner to find Mei and Jack, and neither seemed happy.

Mei folded her arms at the veteran, giving him a tearful glare. “Why can’t you just be happy for me?! Why did you have to put on such an angry display?!”

“I am happy for you. You’re going to make a great mother-”

“Don’t patronize me, Jack! What gives you the right to do this to me?!”

Jack sighed, “Look, am I happy with your choice of staying with the Rat? No, I’m not. I don’t think he’s going to be capable enough to raise a child-”

“That’s not your place to decide! And neither was removing me from my missions!”

“I already told you; were not sending a pregnant agent out into dangerous environments. We did the same thing to Ana when she had Fareeha. If you have a problem with that take that up with Winston.”

The anger in Mei’s face slowly dissipated into distress as their argument progressed. Eventually the tears streamed down her face, and she simply shook her head. “Jack, he’s not a bad person-”

“Jamison Fawkes, the man wanted in 27 different countries for arson, robbery, and murder is not a bad person? Mei, I’m sorry, but he’s a violent, Omnic hating criminal that didn’t care about anything but scores and payoffs until he got here. Does he care for you? Probably, but that man only has fight or flight reflexes. I would not be surprised if he tried to disappear at some point. Also, have you completely negated the fact that he and Rutledge are here to lessen their sentences? They still have to serve some sort of prison time, Mei. You don’t think that’s going to affect your life with him?”

Mei, unable to think of a rebuttal, simply looked to the ground and let her tears fall. Both men could see that there was some sort of pain in her trembling form.

Jack sighed, “I’m sorry, but I’m just trying to be realistic here.”

He got close to Mei, wrapping his arms around her for a moment. Mei didn’t reciprocate, but she didn’t push him off either as all she could feel was the numb sensation of realization all over her body.

Understanding that Mei needed time he let go, turned, and began to walk back to his quarters. “You’ll be fine. Just don’t depend on him, okay?”

Mei didn’t respond, but Jack knew she heard him. Eventually he made it to the end of the hall and disappeared, leaving Mei to stand there in silence before her emotions got the best of her. She began sobbing quietly, her hands holding her belly as if somehow, she could protect her unborn child from the truth about its father. As if the situation would somehow change if she simply wished for I hard enough.

Unaware of his presence Mei jumped as Jamison got behind her, and wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

“Mei?”

She turned to him, and the look on her face nearly broke his heart. Her eyes were blood shot, and her cheeks and nose had a rosier tint to them. Worst of all there was no semblance of hope in her eyes; Jack made the reality all too perfectly clear to her.

Jamison frowned, reaching out his arms and wrapping them around the young woman's waist. He pulled her close to him; his tall form towered over hers, but it made her feel enveloped and safe. They stayed like that for a minute, as it seemed to comfort Mei a great deal. Eventually her sobs soon became whimpers, which started to fade into slight sniffles.

“How much of that did you hear?”

“Ehh, some shit about being incapable of being a dad.”

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t-”

"Snowflake, why the hell are you apologizing to me? Do you really think I care about old Jackie boy’s opinion of me? More importantly, are you seriously gonna let that old man's opinion ruin this for you? It's our baby, isn't it? Why should he matter?"

Mei sighed, "I'm not letting Jack ruin anything, but he is my friend, Jamie. He's been with me through so much, for so long so of course he would try to advise me. That’s just his nature. And, yes, I know you guys dislike each other, and it was a little much for me to hope that he would be totally fine with this, but I didn’t think he would get this serious about "

"Yea, he's a dick like that."

"Jamie!"

"What? It's true! He'll get soggy about any sort of bullshit that doesn't go his way! In fact, I would have ate my boot if he had actually been happy for us!"

"... Well you didn't have to put it so bluntly."

The young Junker sniggered. "Oh yea? Well at least ya know how I feel about most things. That's more than I can say for Drongo Jack. Anyway, look..."

He gently turned Mei so that she was facing him. He could see that her tears were gone, but her eyes were still puffy and red. She sniffled, taking a deep breath before looking up at Jamison. His arms snaked around her waist even tighter, as he leaned in placing his forehead against hers.

He spoke softly, "I love you, Mei. I don't wanna see you upset like this anymore. I’m not goin’ anywhere, so you’re fuckin’ stuck with me.”

Mei giggled a little, causing Jamison to beam.

“Ah, there she is; me happy Snowdrop! I mean we just found out we’ve got a little baby on the way, so aren’t we happy?"

A small smile came to Mei's face as she replied, "I'm very happy about it. What about you; are you still happy that you’re going to be a father?"

His prideful smile returned, and he began nuzzling his forehead against hers. "Yea, I am."

_________________________

Translations:

* Damn!

* No way/You’ve gotta be kidding!

#meihem #junkmei #junkrat and mei #mei overwatch #junkrat overwatch #roadhog #soldier 76 #jack morrison #mercy #angela ziegler #ana amari #dva #hana song #lucio #An honest woman #fanfiction #fanfic #chapter 3 #perfectdayforsomemeihem

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khymer-vulture · 7 years

Text

Happy Father’s Day!

I decided to post a story for this day, I’ve written it a couple weeks ago, but I still feel like the theme is most appropriate, since Zack is in dad mode.

Also I did mention a while back about secretly editing Sanctuary, it was to make the house a lil bigger...now you’ll know why lol

Takes place after Last Chapters

Life had many various stages with each new step being taken, some were happy, and others were emotionally taxing. Life had its rewards and struggles.

Rachel and Isaac continued to live their life with their small family, their son Caleb had eventually learned about their past and it was a difficult time for the both of them to speak such an ugly truth to him. The world can be kind but also cruel, and Caleb was understanding of that. Despite the past both Ray and Zack had lived, their son knew that his parents did everything to give him a good life, and refused to see the two in a dark perspective.

Even after dark secrets were learned, things continued as normal, with an occasional visit from the old Reverend here and there.

While Caleb was in school, Rachel found herself a job to work, a simple flower shop where she could make different bouquets and even took up sewing different ornaments to perk up the look. She wanted that feeling of independence to support her family, and she still felt like she owed the man of the cloth for aiding her and Zack for so long. Like before, Gray did not want to accept payment, but Rachel proved to be just as stubborn as Zack and insisted. The old priest quietly relented, but chose to take the money to be put into savings just for Ray and her family. He felt a sense of pride to see the pair take on their own sense of responsibility.

When both Zack and Rachel were alone, the two relaxed in the little haven Ray had made, just sitting there in their own little world with Zack holding Ray close in his arms while the woman leaned against him on his lap. This innocent time of togetherness was a secret guilty pleasure to Isaac, even if they didn’t do anything, just having her close made him feel content.

Sometimes Ray would read one of her books, sometimes the two would chatter away, or they would just do nothing and enjoy the intimate togetherness.

Rachel faintly blushed as she felt her husband gently press his lips against her neck and run a hand underneath her shirt to caress her abdomen. Isaac did enjoy the feel of her silky skin and loved the smell of her alluring natural scent, once the cool metal of his wedding band touched Ray’s skin, he felt her flinch from the touch, and it caused him to chuckle.

“That’s never going to get old,” he teased.

Ray huffed as she glanced up at Zack, then pulled him in for a quick peck on the lips. The gruff man accepted her token of affection, and didn’t hesitate to deepen it. As the two eventually parted lips, the couple stared at each other for a while, then Ray gently caressed the man’s cheek.

“We made quite a life together…didn’t we?” she rambled.

Zack felt his cheeks grow faintly warm, never in his life he thought he would settle down, and have a family like a normal person – he didn’t regret it though, not by a long shot.

“Y-yeah…” he replied, his slight embarrassment showed in his voice.

Ray knew that topic often left him flustered, it amused her and often liked to see his reaction. She brought her hand to Zack’s, entwining his mischievous fingers with hers as she stared off into the distance.

“Caleb’s grown to be more independent nowadays,” she spoke.

“Is that…good or bad?” Zack asked.

“It’s good, he’s growing up and showing he’s capable of taking care of himself,” Rachel replied, “It’s kind of comforting to know that we did a good job at being parents…but it’s kind of sad too.”

Zack quietly listened, he did feel a sense of pride after hearing Ray’s answer, but he was curious about what else she had to say.

“Sorry to say that, I only said it because whenever I see Caleb…I just see him as the small child we brought into this world,” Ray continued.

Zack thought about it, she was right, even he had shared the same sentiment. It must be the feeling that most normal parents get when their child is growing up.

“Do you miss being a mom or something?” he shyly asks.

Ray faintly blushed, “I’m still a mom, Zack…but…yeah, I miss the stuff I used to do.”

Zack’s already warm cheeks began to grow hotter as more thoughts swelled in his mind, he even felt his heart at his throat as words began to fill his mouth, yet was unable to speak them. He swallowed hard and buried his face in her neck as he began to mumble lightly under his breath, Ray knew that Zack wanted to say something, but it was a subject that was too embarrassing for him to ask – from all the years spent with this man, she eventually deciphered his body language.

“What’s wrong?” she asks.

Zack grumbled in the back of his throat as he tried to force the words out.

“Do you…want…to have…a-another?”

Ray felt her heart pound rapidly from his question, she turned her body around to embrace the man tightly, then pressed her lips against his once more. The man felt his own heart beat just as wildly as he ran his fingers through his wife’s flowing hair.

“I would, absolutely…” Rachel whispered as soon as they parted lips, “I think we should talk it over with Caleb first…”

That would make sense, instead of surprising their son. His opinions mattered too, because they were all a family.

When the two had the time to talk with their son, Caleb seemed rather happy to have a sibling in the household, and approved of the idea for the family to have one more addition. Gray was eventually given the news as well, and was rather surprised over who asked the question first, but like before, he helped make arrangements to aid the pair.

“Your spouse has told me thou art the one that has requested the growth of thy family…I’d never expected someone such as thee to make the request first,” Gray said to Isaac.

It was just the two of them outside, reflecting on the news of the future child.

Zack mumbled under his breath as he kept his eyes away from the old Reverend, even though he could feel the strange and proud parental stare coming from the old man.

“I like seeing Ray as a mom…it’s when she’s the most happiest,” Zack replied, “…fuck, growing up with Caleb made me feel pretty damn good too…watching that little munchkin grow up is kind of…”

“Rewarding?”

“Y-Yeah…” Zack said, “…people like me and Ray wound up making a damn good kid like him. Even after that talk we had about the past…that kid doesn’t judge us.”

“Caleb does have quite the pure soul,” Gray spoke, “thou must be proud of him.”

“Damn fucking proud.”

“Art thou afraid of thy next child?” Gray asked, “I recall thou had quite the problem with nerves the last time.”

Zack growled in slight annoyance, but shyly replied, “…A little…I was really confused and fucking unsure of myself last time. I guess I have some confidence now.”

“To take the step on thy own accord is proof enough of thy grown confidence,” Gray said, “You and this life thine both have made surprise me with each passing year. I’m quite proud thou hast found happiness thou have sought for so long.”

Isaac never hear anyone praise him in that way, it felt like his inner child screamed out inside of him with joy, he quietly swore to himself as he focused his heterochromatic stare at the priest.

“…Th-thanks old man…” he said. His voice was hesitant, but his eyes showed gratitude.

The old priest smiled to the man, then lightly pat his shoulder as he decided to let the family be until his next visit.

Time passed as the couple made their attempts to conceive, though Zack did feel some frustration when they yielded no results, but Ray would just softly smile and remind him to stay patient. When the day came and was finally met with success, Zack felt a little excited, though he still felt a bit of nervousness because he cared for the health of his wife as well.

The memories returned to him, there were days where Ray felt tired and slightly weak, or sometimes she was overcome with dizziness. Zack would even recall when her emotions fluctuate beyond her control, but he also remembered how damn beautiful she was with that natural glow that emanated from her. After experiencing the times before Caleb was born, Zack knew exactly what to do now instead of being outright confused. Though, there were moments that he didn’t want Ray to overexert herself, even Caleb was around to help out when he felt it was needed.

Months went by, and the familiar stages of bringing a child into the world had resurfaced, Zack seemed to notice the randomizing mood side effect didn’t show but he was aware that Rachel had been extra cuddly and affectionate – not that he was complaining, he kinda liked that side of her.

“Shit, why aren’t you like this all of the time?” Isaac whispered into her ear.

Ray faint her cheeks grow warm as she felt Zack’s hands tenderly caress her belly, she didn’t want to admit that she found that gesture during her pregnancy rather pleasing - at least, not yet.

“Because you get embarrassed when I do.”

Zack paused for a moment, then buried his face in her neck - she got him there.

“Told ya,” she added.

Soon, the two could hear a voice from the living area, “Get a room, you two!”

Now Zack couldn’t hold back a snicker, he didn’t know who Caleb inherited the mischievous wit from more, him or Ray, but damn did he laugh when it showed.

“He gets it from you,” Ray said as she ruffled her husband’s hair.

“Psh, please…you’ve done your share of running your mouth,” Zack retorts, then scooped her up in his arms.

“Ah! What are you doing?”

Zack had that devilish grin that he was known for, then saw him turn the other way to shout, “You heard the man, time to go get a room…let’s go, Ray.”

As Ray felt Zack carry her to the bedroom, she could hear Caleb shout in a flustered manner, mostly consisting of ‘Oh my god’ or ‘I was just kidding’.

They were quite the “unique” family, but it was a loving family nonetheless.

The day finally came for their second child to be born, it was a girl this time, and the two stuck with the name that was once planned in the beginning – Ellie.

Her hair was a dark amber color, and her eyes had inherited the golden hue from Zack’s odd-colored stare.

Zack didn’t feel that sense of skittishness like he had felt previously, now that he knows how it feels to have a child. He wasn’t overcome with a sense of panic when he held the small infant in his arms, but rather, a warmth. Even Caleb was curious about his new sibling, watching his dad cradle her in his arms with that familiar protective look on his face.

“Were you like that too, when I was small?” Caleb asks.

“Well, yeah…but, I was kind of scared too, you were so freakin’ small,” Isaac replied, “I was worried my big arms could squish ya.”

Then he allowed Caleb to hold his sibling for the first time, watching him immediately bond with her.

Life was going peacefully for the family, and thankfully Zack never got to see Rachel’s protective mama-bear mode again – though he secretly did warn Caleb about it.

Gray had accepted the role of grandfather figure for the children, even if they were not related by blood. Zack seemed amused to poke fun at the old Reverend whenever Caleb always referred to him as Grandpa. Aside from that, Gray had noticed the man’s demeanor has gotten much calmer over the years, almost as if his past deeds were in fact a distant memory now.

Like with Caleb, when Ellie got a little older, Rachel would take the child with her whenever she was in town. One day, she decided to take her to her place of work. She wanted to show her new child to the owner of the shop while planning on an eventual return to do some work. Time seemed to fly during their conversation, and Rachel noticed that it was starting to grow dark, if she had spent too much time away, she knew that Zack would come out to escort her back home. It did make her feel safe during the times of her employment.

She said her goodbyes before leaving the building to head home and possibly meet up with her husband on the way back home. Rachel held Ellie close to her as she walked down the sidewalk, remembering her usual route back home, and anticipated Isaac to show up any moment soon.

Noise could be heard in a nearby alleyway, was it her husband coming to meet her?

Ray paused for a moment as she glanced curiously. There was a figure staring at her, but Rachel could feel a hostile vibe coming from it, she glared defensively as she held her child close. The figure was quick to grasp the woman and drag her into the alleyway, but Rachel did not hesitate to shove herself from his grip.

“Don’t fucking struggle…” the strange man growled, then pulled out a knife, “…give me whatever you got and maybe I won’t hurt you too bad…”

Soon, she began to hear her child start to whimper, she brought a hand to gently caress the back of her head to soothe her, but it began to agitate the man.

“Shut your fuckin’ brat up, or I’ll shut it up for you…”

Rachel shot the man an intense glare, “You can threaten me all you want, but don’t you dare threaten my child, understand?”

The man appeared surprised to see someone standing up to him, then held his knife up threateningly, “Or you’ll what?”

Rachel was ready to unleash the wrath only a mother could bring upon the world, but she saw the man’s arm twist and contort behind his body and watched as bandaged fingers grasped at the man’s throat. It may not be the mother that the man shouldn’t fear at all, but the father.

Zack angrily held onto the man as he tightened his grip with both of his hands, Ray could see a sort of bloodthirsty glow coming from his golden eye, and could hear a growl coming from his breaths. Ellie’s whimpering had progressed into cries, Ray tried to quietly hush her, even Zack’s parental instinct didn’t want to hear his daughter cry from fear.

“Ray…head on home…I’ll take care of this bastard…” Zack spoke softly, then his expression changed to a gentle one as he glanced to Ellie, “hey…don’t cry, baby girl…your dad’s got this…”

The cries reduced back to a soft whimper and Ray reluctantly stepped back to return home, she knew Zack was more than capable of taking care of himself, and the safety of their child came first.

As soon as Isaac watched Rachel leave to head home, it was just him and the man that pulled a knife on his family. His former soft expression changed back to rage, then twisted the man’s arm yet again to make the knife jab against his own side.

“You made a big fucking mistake…” he growled, “two actually…you threatened my wife and made my kid cry…you think I’m gonna let you walk away breathing?”

The man felt Zack’s grip tighten even more on his windpipe, he carefully maneuvered his other arm down without getting the angered man’s attention, then dropped the blade into his free hand. Before Zack could notice the man’s lack of struggling, he suddenly felt something stab him into his abdomen, the bandaged man let go for a second as he stumbled back.

Isaac saw the knife stick out of him, and felt a surge of rage burning deeper inside him. That all too familiar sense of bloodlust was beginning to overwhelm him as he glared at the man, he ripped the knife out from his body and gripped onto it tightly. This man was now his prey.

When Rachel had returned home, she noticed Gray was there, it seemed the old priest had paid a visit while she was away and Isaac asked him to keep an eye out while he went to retrieve her. The Reverend noticed a troubled look on both Rachel and Ellie’s face, and Zack was nowhere to be seen.

“What seems to be the matter?”

“A man tried to attack me and Ellie on the way…Zack stayed behind…I’m worried about him,” Rachel replied, “I should go back to check on him…”

“No, thou must stay here and tend to the children. I shall fetch Isaac…”

Rachel was ready to argue, but Gray did have a point, she was gone long enough, and she didn’t want Caleb to worry as well. The woman sighed as she let the older man go retrieve her husband, while she went to take care of her children, it was around dinner time after all.

Meanwhile, Gray quietly walked down the street, he knew the back alleys was the best place to find a man like Isaac, especially if the situation had called for a confrontation. The old man was quick to spot drops of blood on the ground, then a small pool, and eventually it began to trail to another location. The trailing drops eventually became large drag marks, which meant that the situation turned deadly, and he knew who the victor was – but he wasn’t expecting the sight he would eventually see.

Zack was crouched over a corpse, repeatedly stabbing at what once was a man, but had become horribly mutilated. The white cloth that had covered Zack’s body were completely stained crimson with blood, along with the rest of the articles of clothing.

“Isaac.”

The man swiftly turned his head as he pointed the bent and bloody knife towards Gray, there was that familiar crazed look in Zack’s heterochromatic eyes once more, followed by his insane grin. It appears that an old demon had returned to reclaim Zack.

“Isaac, thou dare wishes to turn a blade on someone new?” Gray asks.

Zack didn’t reply, but only let out a sinister laugh as he slowly approached the old man. Gray was not going to be afraid, yet he was worried for him.

“Isaac, what would’st thou do if it was not me standing here before you…what if it was Rachel…or perhaps young Caleb?”

Hearing those names halted the man for a moment, like the sane part of him had taken hold once more from recognition, Zack dropped the knife as he continued to charge towards Gray. The Reverend felt the man roughly grab at his clergy robe by the collar and yank him close while his other arm reeled back for a punch. Gray did feel a slight bit of hesitation as he saw the clenched fist propel towards him, but Zack stopped at the last second before making impact.

Zack had a furious expression, but his crazed look was no longer there. His fist then changed to an accusing point, and directed it at the older man.

“Don’t you ever fucking bring them up like that again…” Zack growled, “…you’re god damn lucky that my kids like you…”

Gray breathed a sigh of relief as he felt Zack let go of his robe, “I do apologize, Isaac…it was a low thing to do, but it appeared to be the only way to snap thee back into reality…”

Zack stared at the tattered corpse nearby, then glanced at the bloody cloth covering his scarred hand, the other clasped at the stab wound to try and stop the bleeding.

“��He pulled a knife on Ray…made my fucking kid cry…then the cheeky little bastard stabbed me,” Zack rambled, “I was fiending to kill after that…”

Gray stood beside the man as he looked to the body, “…There will be prying eyes and high suspicions once the body is discovered…”

“Don’t think that I don’t know that already, I fucking ripped the shithead apart,” Zack growled.

“This will not be easy, but I shall see to disposing of any evidence of thy own doing. Go back home to the family, Isaac…thy spouse worries, and thou art wounded…but in such a condition, please be discrete,” Gray commanded.

The Reverend was right, waltzing back home completely slathered in blood would be a terrible idea, he would have to sneak in back home and clean the blood stains off his body.

“Please, do take care, Isaac…” Gray said as he watched the man slowly walk off.

Zack clenched onto his wound, it wasn’t the first time he had to do it, as he still bore the massive scar across his belly to prove it. He had to tread carefully to keep it from bleeding out even more, but he was glad that the knife didn’t stab him too deep, or hell, that he wasn’t bleeding profusely to render him unconscious.

His home was within his sight, all he needed to do now was crawl in through the bedroom window and discard his bloody attire, not to mention, tend to his wound as well. Zack remembered that Ray kept one of the windows unlocked in case she wanted to let in some fresh air. The man carefully climbed into the house and slowly got to his feet as he made way to the bathroom.

Rachel began to hear sounds coming from her room, but never saw or hear anyone enter the house.

“Caleb, keep an eye on your sister real quick.”

Caleb nodded as he picked up one of Ellie’s toys and bought it in front of her to play with.

Ray slowly opened the door to the master bedroom, she saw one of the windows was open and there was a small trail of blood leading to the bathroom.

“…Zack?” she beckons.

Now she heard a swear, it was him.

“Zack…are you alright?”

There was no answer for a moment, until she saw the door open, Ray held back a gasp as she saw her husband was covered head to toe in blood stains.

“Did that man hurt you?” she asked.

Zack grumbled as he clenched at his gut, “Yeah…it’s nothing big…but I fucking lost it with him…I almost attacked the priest.”

“Where is Gray now?”

“Cleaning up my damn mess…” Zack sighed, then glanced at Ray, “…could you please patch me up? I’m still bleeding here…”

It had been ages since she used a thread and needle on flesh, she lightly nodded as she went to retrieve a sewing kit to stitch up Zack’s wound.

“Let’s get you cleaned up too…there’s rubbing alcohol under the sink…” Ray said to her husband.

His least favorite thing when it came to patching up wounds, the sterilizing liquid always felt like freaking acid on his open lesions. Zack reluctantly retrieved the bottle, then began to tear off every bit of his splattered wrappings, along with the stained clothing. Ray returned with a needle and a spool of thread, she took the task of disinfecting the wound first with the alcohol, then heard Zack growl out frustrated swears as it began to eat away any potential bacteria.

“Alright, sit still…and don’t flinch…”

“I won’t, it’s not like it’s the first time you’ve done this shit for me, Ray…just…be a little more gentle with how you do it this time,” Zack murmured.

“I will…the wound isn’t as big…it shouldn’t take long…”

Rachel was carefully stitching the wound closed, Zack would wince every now and then from feeling the needle pierce and exit his skin, but it was a bearable pain.

The memory of the man’s carcass came to his mind again, and let out a sigh.

“I’m kinda glad Gray came instead of you…fuck…I probably would’ve never snapped out of it,” Zack mumbled, “…I couldn’t live with myself if I had done that shit to you too…”

Their old oath was for Zack to kill her, but he had already done so in a unique way, he had killed what made Ray who she once was. Zack killed her old identity of Rachel Gardner and she was given the life as his wife, Rachel Foster. To kill that would be painful to him.

Rachel paused for a moment to press her lips against Zack’s, she could feel him freeze from surprise, but allowed her to continue as he eased up.

“You would’ve snapped out of it…don’t go doubting yourself…” Ray softly spoke.

Isaac felt his cheeks grow slightly warm, then leaned close to tenderly bump heads with her, “God damn, do you know how fucking important you are?”

“Very…”

Zack slightly grinned, “…Good girl…”

Stitching was finished, and all there was left was to clean the remaining bits of blood that stained Zack’s skin, Rachel was quick to get a damp cloth to help run it against Zack’s body. His skin wasn’t heavily coated, thanks to his wrappings absorbing most of the blood that had splashed against him.

“Hey…is Ellie alright? I really didn’t want to see her cry like that…” Zack asks.

“She was a little shaken up, but she went back to normal after Caleb played a bit with her,” Ray replied.

She could hear a sigh of relief coming from Zack, she smiled to herself as she felt glad to know that Zack was still concerned to their child’s sense of security.

“They’re both lucky to have a dad like you watching over them,” she added.

Annnddd, there was Zack’s trademark flustered look. Boy, did she enjoy seeing that.

“G-god dammit, Ray…saying that embarrassing shit again…”

“I’m just saying the truth…I know how you hate liars,” Ray said as she kissed her husband’s forehead. “How about you stay here for the rest of the night? I’ll bring you something to eat, after I tell the kids that you’re back.”

After losing quite a bit of blood, it did leave him a little drained, it was an offer that he didn’t want to pass up.

“That sounds good…thanks Ray…um…let them know that I’m alright…just tired,” Zack said.

“Will do, now get some rest…”

Soon, he had the room to himself, and decided to lay down on the large bed that occupied his and Rachel’s room. It didn’t take long until he had drifted off to sleep, perhaps he was more worn out than he had thought. Even Rachel was surprised to see him sleeping away when she returned with some food for him to eat, perhaps another time.

When Zack awoke, he saw that dawn had already broken, and was quite surprised just how long he had dozed off. In the bed was Rachel, snuggled up against his chest as she held onto him tightly, and close by was their daughter’s crib.

Waking up to such a sight and the thought of being in this family made the man feel content. Sure, he had almost relapsed to his old self, but he wouldn’t regret in dealing with any foe that posed a threat to his family. Ray may have her supposed “mama bear” mode, but Zack could be just the fearsome protector as well.

Should anyone dare to come between the two and their children, there would be hell to pay, and they would not hesitate to take on any opposition - no matter how big or how strong. This family they had built together was their entire world, and they would never let anything tear it from them.

#khymer's fanfics #that our bond series thing #satsuriku no tenshi #angels of death #angel of slaughter

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tsumikoz · 5 years

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hm :-)

#maybe the world...... is good :-)#not 2 be cheesy or lame or cringe or anything but just. ya kno? pretend i dramatically sighed #hate showing affection bc 9 y/o me said bro! cringe! then pretended 2 not have emotions which did nothin but make me apathetic #but the thing is ive sorta clawed myself out of that? idk not in an inspiring way. im still very :| u kno #but honestly. i love all my friends n loved ones w my whole heart n ill never get tired of seeing them n listening 2 them #they mean a lot 2 me n im glad theyve all managed 2 stick w me 4 so long ya kno?#theres also things that r just. pleasant like pretty skies n fresh air n sweets n viddy games #being mega pessimistic does nothing good 4 any1 2 be real w u. ive been a right pessimist ive been a right optimist both @ different times #i mean like obvs but its hard 4 both of em. being a pessimist is hard bc it makes everything feel unfulfilling #being an optimist is hard bc sometimes theres just. not any good. some situations just suck a lot. hard 2 be positive thru them #so its just easier 2 be neutral. more enjoyable too. maybe. idk wtf im on abt #idk where any of this came from n also i dont have a point im just a bit full of love @ 11:48pm on a monday #my original point was i jus have a lot of love 4 v basic shit bc it just. makes me feel :-) ya kno? content #im tired all the time just admiring the small shit makes it a lil less overwhelming #anyways in short i am a cringe loser. goodnight hope u all sleep well

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remeny-writes · 7 years

Text

Roses are red, Violets are Adored (Viadore/Katlaska/group fic)

As promised! Sorry I've been so neglectful of the story lately but now that my hallowe'en and Christmas fics are out of my system, I can get back to hopefully finish up Roses soon. I am working on an optional epilogue as well and sometimes even though I haven't finished writing the story, I know what's gonna happen so I write the epilogue for a bit.

If you are happening across my tumblr for the first time because of the fic exchange or just because then WELCOME! If you enjoy massively HUGE (192k+ words and still going) fics with angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, love and a lil sprinkle of paranormal phenomenon that is written with a lot of details, YOU HAVE FOUND THE RIGHT PLACE. The easiest way to read Roses is to go here to my AO3!

Happy Christmas/Chanukkah/Yule/Kwanza/Holiday Monday to you and yours! Stay safe and remember, if you don't have supportive family, we get to make our own. You are valid. Your pronouns are important. Your sexuality is not up for debate. You are loved.

Love n Glitter,

Remény

Phi Phi’s POV

I love the post-show euphoria, fresh off a meet and greet with the best Phans anywhere. The feeling of contentment that you are living your dream. The adrenaline rush was unlike anything else, I hummed to myself as I quickly changed into some more comfortable clothes. I noticed my phone lit up as I pulled my makeup wipes out of my bag. I frowned as I read Pearl’s angry and mis-spelt text.

Pearl - U told Katya? Do yuo WANT me t kill you? She’s gona tell Alaska who can’t keep anythng from her bestie Sharon! And after I’m done killing you, FAME IS GOIN TO KLIL YOU!

I angrily typed in:

Me- Pearl! I didn’t tell ANYONE! I promised I wouldn’t!! I PROMISED! I wouldn’t do that to her! I have no idea what you are talking about!

Pearl - BULLSHIT! Katya texted me that she knew what happened and that Fame didn’t fall!

I jabbed in a response as I stood up and stalked around the room, looking for the skinny Russian queen and her even skinnier Alien boyfriend, getting more livid by the moment.

Me- Did Katya SAY I told her?! Because she hasn’t even SPOKEN 2 words to me tonight!!

And then the three dancing dots appeared, knowing Pearl was formulating a much larger response to ream my ass out for something I didn’t do, I stalked out the side door to see if Katya was out smoking.

Sure enough, Katya was there with her head back mid-laugh while Alaska gazed at her annoyingly adoringly. They stopped when they saw me steaming from the ears in the doorway.

“Oh heeeyy Pheephs!” Alaska greeted me in an unnaturally high voice as she feigned innocence. “How ya doing?”

“Well...you see...I just got my ass handed to me by Pearl for something I didn’t do.” I spat out, punctuating my words by jabbing the cell phone clenched in my hand in their direction.

“Listen, Jeremi…” Katya started, putting her hands out.

“Oh DON’T ‘listen Jeremi’ me! I promised I wouldn’t say anything and now Pearl is PISSED at me! Even if I didn’t say anything, you KNOW how Pearl is. She’s gonna fucking close up again and it’s going to be YOUR FUCKING FAULT!!”

“JER STOP!!” I heard Alaska plead and felt a hand on my shoulder. Alaska’s hand. My hand was clenched around a fistful of a scared looking Katya’s Tshirt. How did I get to this? I let it go and stumbled backwards, landing on my ass and putting my face in my hands and bursting into loud, messy tears. My phone clattering to the ground. I stiffened momentarily when Alaska wrapped her arm around me, sitting beside me. I felt Katya sit on the other side of me, placing my phone on my leg.

“I...I’m sorry Kat.”

“Hey, hey, it’s ok! You’re ok. We are all going to be ok! Fame too.” Katya murmured, “I’m going to text Pearl now, I’ll get this all straightened out, I promise.” Katya frantically started tapping away with her thumbs.

I nodded mutely. I can’t believe I lost my temper like that. All this stuff with Fame and Pearl was digging up the rage that bubbled barely under the surface some days. Usually, aside from bitchy comments, I was able to keep my shit in check but I was so damn tired, which totally didn't help with my shoddy impulse control. I breathed in through my nose and out through my mouth, keeping my eyes closed but letting my hands fall into my lap.

“Phi Phi come here.” Alaska said, trying to pull me towards her chest. “I said come here you. You’re shaking!” Alaska fretted, pulling her sweater off and draping it over my shoulders, she wiggled closer to me and pulled my stiff body in. I finally relented, putting my head on her shoulder and leaning into her. I started crying again, I wasn't even sure what I was crying about. Kat was going to sort it out. Pearl has to forgive me. I didn’t DO anything!

Katya reached over and linked her arm with mine. Her phone dinged and it made me jump. Then my phone dinged making all three of us huddled together jump.

Pearl - It seems I’ve been fucking misinformed. Sorry Pheefs! I really am. Can you please swear the Russian and the Alien to secrecy? Tell them to keep it quiet if they don’t wish to die a slow and painful death from evisceration with a rusty spoon wielded by one pissed off drag queen.

I burst out with a little giggle and typed in

Me - Gee thanks so much for that mental image lol I’ll tell them. How’s Fame? Are you ok?

Pearl - You’re welcome! Police came, were absolutely no help, I’ll explain it all later. Fame’s conked out, they gave her some pain meds and had to give her anti-anxiety meds because the police got her all riled up. I’m tired but fine. Just remembering shit I don’t really want to.

Me - I will get a ride over there after I ditch the Russian and Alien and then you can go back to the hotel and have a rest. Did they say if she’d be released or admitted tonight yet?

Pearl - They haven’t said anything!! It’s driving me fucking bonkers! You don’t have to come over, you worked tonight, I just sat here. I’ll be fine although I may sneak out to have a smoke but with my luck, if I did, that would be when the Dr would fucking come in so I better stay here. It can’t be that bad because the MRI was done HOURS ago, if it was bad, they’d be in here.

Me - too bad, I’ll be there in 15, you’re stuck with me. Muah hah hah ha! Maybe the Dr will come in while I’m on my way?!

Pearl - LOL you are something Pheefs, ever the optimist! If you insist on coming (and you REALLY don’t have to) can you bring me a phone charger if you have one in your drag bag please? And I’m sorry again, I feel like they tricked me. I will take care of Katya, just tell them NOT to tell anyone, be VERY clear you mean ANYONE and specifically say that includes Sharon!

Me - I will. I’ll see you soon. It’s ok, I would be mad too, I understand. I’m just glad your wrath will be directed at them not me anymore! Lol!

I put my phone face down on my knee and looked from one queen to the other. “Ok, I have been told to tell you,” I said calmly and slowly, “that if you tell ANYONE what you know, that Pearl will disembowel you with a rusty spoon.” They both made squidgy faces as I turned to point my finger into Alaska’s chest, “and she said to specifically say that ANYONE includes Sharon fucking Needles! But tell abso-fucking-lutely no one if you wish to keep Pearl from going all homicidal homo on your asses.”

Katya let out a wheezy bark of laughter. “Sorry! Ha homicidal homo...that’s a good one Pheefs!” Alaska started laughing too and I joined in.

After a few minutes of us cackling, Alaska gave me a little squeeze and let go. “Are you coming back with us? I’m going to order an uber or something.”

“No, I’ll get one on my own, I’m gonna go relieve Pearl for a little bit so she can have a cigarette, maybe convince her to go back to the hotel. She sounds like she’s climbing the walls over there.”

“We could come with you and keep you guys company? How’s Fame doing?” Katya offered.

I shook my head, shrugging off Alaska’s sweater and trying to give it to her, she wouldn’t let me though and draped it over my shoulders again. “No, I’ll go by myself, I’m sure they are just in a little tiny room. Pearl said Fame was sleeping anyway so I don’t think we should wake her, especially if she has the good drugs in her system and isn’t in as much pain.” I said with a little chuckle.

“At least I’m glad she’s resting now.” Katya said, chewing on her bottom lip. "I'm so sorry that Pearl got mad at you, I should have used my brain."

"It's ok, it's just...Pearl has grown so much, I'd hate to see her close in on herself again. She's gonna need to be able to talk with people, especially if something...uh...happens with Violet." A pang of pain went through my heart, I know that Vi's tests came back that they were beating this beast but I couldn't help worrying. Cancer is so damn unpredictable.

"Hey, hey, Vi's gonna be ok." Katya reassured me, rubbing my back. I just nodded.

Alaska ordered us both ubers, I grabbed my wallet and charger from my drag bag and sent the rest back with them. There was no reason to lug 15 pounds of makeup and pads to the hospital and back.

The hospital was pretty big but the uber driver dropped me off at the emergency entrance, I hesitated outside the nurses window. What was Fame's last name again? I couldn't very well walk up and say I was here to see a patient named Kurtis. I was just about to text Pearl when I remembered.

I pulled the curtain back slowly, peeking in but not stepping in yet. Pearl was dozing in the armchair. I sucked in a small gasp of air at the sight of Fame. Something about seeing her in a hospital bed, in a gown with an IV, her head lolled to the side. A giant oxygen mask obscured half of her face, large purple circles under her eyes. She was pale which made the purple and blue bruises on her face stand out in stark contrast. It somehow made what happened to her more real and I felt a surge of anger at the assholes that did that to her.

I paused in the doorway, I didn't want to make any noise. Pearl grimaced and ground her teeth in her sleep, I winced at the grating noise. At least she was getting a few minutes of sleep in. I could hear a gurney rolling down the hall and took a few tiny steps into the room. Pearl's head snapped up, eyes wide as she took in her surroundings until she saw me, she quickly pasted on a smile but it didn't reach her haunted looking eyes.

I quickly walked over as she stood up, I pulled her into a hug and couldn't help but notice the tremble running through her body and into mine. "Hey there you." I said softly.

"Hey," she whispered and cleared her throat.

"Y'ok?" It was a stupid question and I immediately kicked myself for it, "sorry dumb question."

She sank back down in the chair, lacing her fingers together and staring down at them like they were the most interesting thing in the world. I crouched down, she momentarily flinched when I put my hand on her knee but quickly recovered. "I'm not ok Pheefs, I'm far from ok. I'm so tired." She whispered brokenly, bowing her head down. I knew she didn't mean that she was physically tired, although I'm sure she was, I knew in my gut that she meant that bone crushing emotional weariness that comes from the energy it takes to keep going, to keep the walls up to protect your heart at all costs, even from yourself at times.

"I know you are babe, I'm so proud you can admit that you aren't ok, that you feel safe enough and trust me enough to admit that means the world to me." My voice cracked with emotion.

She looked up at me, tears were in her eyes but they didn't fall as she said seriously, "I will always trust you Jer. You are one of my very best friends and I don't know what I would have done without you these past few weeks with everything that has happened."

"What happened with the police?" If I thought I was mad before, it was nothing to the rage I felt after she told me, my hands balled into fists. I couldn't blame Fame for not wanting to bother reliving it but it made me furious that the fuckheads who did this to her wouldn't pay! I didn't get much of a chance to respond since Fame stirred and let out a little whimper.

Pearl hopped up and dashed around me and pulled Fame's hand into hers. "It's ok Kurtis, I'm here. You're safe. I got you Kurt. No leave that on please." Pearl replaced the mask back on Fame's face and captured both of Fame's hands in hers to prevent her from doing it again. It took Fame a few moments to wake up enough to stop struggling to pull her hands from Pearl's as Pearl continued to reassure her that she was safe. Fame seemed to calm, closing her eyes again.

"I'm going to go see if I can get an update." I couldn't just sit there doing nothing. I went out to the nurses desk, drumming my fingers on the countertop as I waited for someone to come by.

"Can I help you?" The nurse looked up from her stack of papers and then did a double take, she smiled, "hey, aren't you Phi Phi O'Hara?"

"Guilty as charged." I joked with a little grin back.

"Are you ok? I just got here and I'm playing catch up," she waved a hand at the stack of clipboards and paper-laden file folders, she frowned, "are you sick? What can I do?"

"I'm fine, Fame is here and she's not so fine. Pearl and I were wondering when we would get to talk to the Dr and if we could take her back to the hotel tonight."

"Oh Fame and Pearl are here too? I'm sorry Fame isn't well, I know the doctor just got here too, let me go check with her. I'll be right back." She rifled through the files for a minute til she found one that had Kurtis Dam-Mikelson on the front and took off to the back. She was gone for maybe 5 minutes, she came out with a troubled look on her face and I knew she had read what happened to Fame, I hoped she wouldn't tell anyone. "So Dr Fisher will be in in about 5 minutes, it's a safe bet you'll be able to take her home with you...well back to the hotel."

I smiled, "when you travel as much as we do, our home is each other instead of a place."

"Aww that's lovely. Ok well tell Fame I hope she feels better. I'm so sorry about what happened to her! Now, you might want to prepare her that a counsellor will probably want to talk to her before she goes, it's policy in cases of violent crimes. Oh I feel so bad!" She had tears in her eyes, "sorry, I'm not usually all emotional like this, I just feel like you guys are like...like friends...like I know you."

I echoed my statement from earlier that I had said to Pearly, "hey, it's ok to not be ok!" I gave her a lame little pat on the back and walked away. It wasn't that her words or display of emotion bothered me, I just wanted to get back to Fame and Pearly. I didn't know if they had eaten since the pizza this afternoon, I mean Fame was asleep but Pearl hadn't had more than half a piece of pizza all day that I had noticed. I doubted that she had left Fame's side to seek out food or water.

Well I thought Fame was asleep until I heard her raised voice, I wondered if the police had made their way back into the room. I pulled the curtain aside and ducked, narrowly avoiding my head coliding with the mug Fame had just thrown at a startled looking young woman with a hospital ID that said Deena Dale and then Psychologist Resident in smaller letters. She ducked and the mug shattered against the wall behind us.

#Roses #RaRVaA #remeny #rpdr fanfic #RPDR #phi phi o'hara #pearl liaison #miss fame

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abitchinthelife · 6 years

Text

2018- July 29th

since the fucking thing I was using to journal fucked my entry and ate it I'm using this instead. bc its convenient and I can write anywhere and its more normal than furiously writing in a notebook. so. let's do this

last night fell asleep watching dream daddy on youtube. after talking w Kiwi and the events of the day I needed to like dick around. so i did. woke up to Kiwi fighting with their mom. went back to sleep like the stubborn sleepy bitch I am. again woke up, actually stayed awake this time. about 11? so good, i'm amazing showing so much self discipline.

SO Kiwi and I chilled. and we were making plans for the day. which included Melon. which was chill except Kiwi was driving me a little crazy with like the intense mood changes. bitch broke down like 14 times yesterday. understandable since Melon was threatening suicide. but like can u compartmentalize a bit? i'm doing it fine. mostly. I did fine w it overall. u kno I'd say if I didn't cause I love dragging myself so ya its true.

kiwi is just a lot. lmao. love Kiwi but I'm glad I can get a break now. even my emotionless ass is starting to get bothered.

but what my day was like! you need more details.

so I chilled w Kiwi at first and watched Mortemor (suzzy!!!! started my baes Overwatch content she's a wonder a blessing a treasure.) slightly overwhelmed with so much going on I left, and didn't really get to relax cause I was with my dad doing some chores. but it was still sorta relaxing anyway. eventually Melon come and got me. me and Melon were talking and it was a good fucking time man. its nice to make a new friend. like we've known each other for a while but only until today do I consider them close to me. some issues w Kiwi and we went on a side quest to get their key but it was solved. we got Kiwi and we were offfff

Melon and Kiwi and I drove to the mall and it was liiiiiiiiit like it was so much fun at first Melon is amazing. like so fun and genuine. I love Kiwi and they try a lot which I appreciate. but little things Kiwi did- I think trying to take me from Melon (like I was about to sit next to Melon but Kiwi gave me This Look Like You're Not Sitting Next To Me????) (and trying to hold my hand at the mall. Melon seemed uncomfy) (aaand something else I can't remember it was small but it was the start of a downfall)

so Melon never said anything. never said it was Kiwis fault. don't think Kiwis noticed at all the correlation LMAO this bitch tires me love em tho. Melon never even admitted anything was wrong. just said they were "tired". so I let it drop.

but at least most of the time at the mall was fun. the ending was iffy.

we went to Wendys next and that's when I asked if they're okay and Melon gave us the "I'm fine just tired." then went to the bathroom like this bitch seemed so uncomfy and tense. I went into the bathroom and asked if they were good, got an affirmative, then I left cause. im used to giving space not forcing others. came back in again cus i didnt wanna be a lil cowardly bitch and i thought they sniffled? and I was like dam u crying. but not aloud cause i'm a coward u see. I was like Melon? U good? Melon was like yea just shitting bro. I was like cool.

Melon came out. In a much better mood. still not looking at either of us though, but looking. so we went to our last stop, Ross. it was ok? Melon seemed better but still not ok. I was a little focused on getting clothes no lie cause I'm not gonna get a lot of chances to go to the mall before I leave to Orlando. but I tried to keep interacting w Melon and Kiwi even though I'd go off to find my own shit. I'd find em again and be like ayyyy.

I bought some neato clothes and maybe need some reimbursement from my dad. maybe I can go to Walmart this weekend and I can use dads card on some shorts and tees. or just ask for cash lmao. we'll see.

anyway tho. got back from our day out. texted Melon about the sniffling and Melon was like it was just a sniffle I wasnt crying or sum shit lmao. I was like OOPS. Melon was like LMAO. We ended up talking when their family chat went up in fucking flames and their Mom refused to even talk about Melon getting therapy. I've been texting them since.

with Melon almost committing suicide its making me reevaluate the way I treat my friends. I need to try more. I let others come to me w their shit but sometimes I need to make sure they know that I'm there and I will be there for them. even in unconventional weird ass ways, my favorite way to do things. so I'm trying to say fuck feeling uncofmy expressing emotions I'm gonna be vulnerable and be there for my friends. I'll stick it out. like so far I've been trying to make Date feel better bc they wanted to meet w us but Kiwi (my lordy Kiwi) didn't realize they were back and literally wanted to come. and my data failed me so I didn't even know it was a thing until I got back for my lovely wonderful wifi.

since then I've tried to make Date feel better. dunno if it worked but I think the relentlessness will be charming, comforting. not, like, annoying. like I'm mixing tactics of distraction and Acknowledging Things, I at least think its working well. its difficult when to know when Date wants to talk about it (usually not) or wants to a distraction (mostly I think)

with Melon Ive been texting them since their family thing. I think I've been giving good responses. I'm not the master of communication my writing incorrectly may impress upon you, I'm but a socially awkward dumbass. but its been going well.

in fact I think I didn't get any time for myself to do anything at all today. but its fine. tmrw I sure fucking will. ive got all the time to watch youtube vids, watch tv, and study some math. my main activities these days. drawing too. need to do sum of that.

I should call Melon tmrw and Kiwi too. I think Date and Blueberry are working/busy. I know Date is working 100%, dunno Blueberry but I don't like calling Blueberry much. They're just so distracted and idk. I don't like it. Face to face is better but my Android can't even FT them so.

I def need to call R soon. need to get updated. but really I got lots of stuff to be busy with, god make sure I do those things instead of lying around in bed doing nothing all day. thanks.

#entry #entry 1 #this was long as fuck #who knew i could talk so much #its 1 am now but whatever time i sleep at im waking up at 11 deadass im not allowing my laziness anymore #11 is incredible for me can you imagine #like its so difficult #but ill keep at it #cause i need to get my shits together

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