#making myself not exist. basically. anyway

[enhaflixer]

How are jay's parents with jane? Also I don't remeber so can you pls tell what the reader and jay's jobs are and how did they handle ir during or after the pregnancy?

Exclusive Interview with Park Jongseong & His Wife on Parenthood, Careers, and a Certain Marriage Law

—A follow-up interview featuring Park Jongseong, his wife, and a deep dive into parenthood, their careers, and how they managed it all.

-

Q1: How are Jay’s parents with Jane?

(Jay leans back against his chair, arms crossed, while you shake your head, a fond smile tugging at your lips.)

You: “They’re obsessed with her.”

Jay: grinning “I don’t even think I exist to them anymore. It’s just Jane now.”

You: “The way your mom acts, you’d think she gave birth to her herself.”

Jay: laughing “She sends daily letters asking what Jane did that day, like she’s waiting for some groundbreaking development.”

You: mocking “‘Did she say a new word? Did she show signs of advanced magic?’”

Jay: “And my dad—he literally used to strike fear into people’s hearts, and now he’s out here having tea parties with a toddler.”

You: “Oh, and let’s not forget when Jane made her stuffed dragon breathe actual fire.”

Jay: grinning “My dad looked at her like she had just invented magic itself.”

You: laughing “Meanwhile, I’m in the background putting out actual flames.”

-

Q2: What do you both do for work?

Jay: “I work in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, handling business regulations and legal disputes.”

You: grinning “He basically tells rich, entitled wizards that they aren’t above the law.”

Jay: smirking “And that’s fun for me.”

You: mocking “You mean you like arguing.”

Jay: “I like winning.”

You: rolling your eyes “Anyway, I work in the Muggle Liaison Office, helping integrate Muggle-borns into the wizarding world and making sure the magical community doesn’t accidentally expose itself to Muggles.”

Jay: teasing “You used to work at Flourish and Blotts too.”

You: groaning “That was years ago.”

Jay: grinning “Yeah, and I still remember picking you up from there.”

You: mock-glaring “That was one time.”

Jay: leaning forward “One very important time.”

-

Q3: Wait, wait. What happened? He picked you up from Flourish and Blotts?

(You exhale, shaking your head as Jay watches you, amusement flickering in his eyes.)

You: “It was early on, right after the law was implemented. I was still trying to keep things… normal. I picked up a few shifts at Flourish and Blotts, just to clear my mind.”

Jay: softly “You needed the distraction.”

You: nods “Yeah. But one evening, my shift ran late, and I was exhausted. I was bracing myself to go home alone, but then—” glances at Jay

Jay: smirking “Then you stepped outside, and I was leaning against a lamp post, waiting.”

You: grinning “He acted all cool and casual, but I saw the way you were checking your watch.”

Jay: chuckles “Okay, fine. Maybe I was a little impatient.”

You: “You didn’t even say anything at first. Just took my bag off my shoulder and held my hand.”

Jay: softly “You looked like you needed someone to do that.”

You: heart squeezing “I think that was the first time I let myself really… lean into you.”

Jay: “I remember. You sighed—like you’d been holding your breath for weeks—and just rested your head against my shoulder.”

You: whispering “And I let you take me home.”

-

Q4: How did you handle your jobs during and after pregnancy?

Jay: laughing “Handle? I didn’t let her work.”

You: glaring “That is not true—”

Jay: “You were heavily pregnant and still trying to handle Muggle-Wizard disputes.”

You: scoffing “Because it was my job.”

Jay: “And it was my job to make sure you didn’t keel over from exhaustion.”

You: muttering “You banned me from going into the field.”

Jay: mock-serious “I did. And I would do it again.”

You: “The Ministry had to force me to take maternity leave.”

Jay: “Because I stormed into their offices and demanded it.”

You: smirking “That was kinda hot, though.”

Jay: grinning “I know.”

-

Q5: First day back at work after having Jane—how was it?

Jay: groaning “Horrible.”

You: teasing “For you?”

Jay: flatly “For both of us.”

You: “I think I lasted… four hours before I started panicking?”

Jay: “Yeah. And I sent you an owl every two hours.”

You: “Until I had to tell him, ‘Babe, I’m literally coming home in five hours. Please relax.’”

Jay: grumbling “You were gone too long.”

You: softly “You missed me?”

Jay: mock-glaring “Obviously.”

-

Q6: If you could say one thing to the Ministry about the Marriage Law now, what would it be?

(Jay exhales, tilting his head back, before looking at you.)

Jay: “You wanna go first?”

You: laughs “Sure.” clears throat “Screw you.”

Jay: grinning “That’s it?”

You: shrugging “That’s all they deserve.”

Jay: hums “I was gonna say something more professional.”

You: raising a brow “Oh?”

Jay: deadpan “You’re all corrupt, incompetent, and if you ever try something like this again, I will personally take your entire department down.”

You: grinning “That’s professional?”

Jay: mock-thoughtful “It’s diplomatic.”

You: laughing “But… despite all that…”

Jay: nods “Despite all that.”

You: softly “We wouldn’t change us.”

Jay: “Not for anything.”

-

And there you have it—proof that even a government-mandated marriage couldn’t stop love from finding its way in.

TL: @ziiao @beariegyu @seonhoon @ijustwannareadstuff20 @ddolleri @naurwayyyyy @zzhengyu @annybah @somuchdard

[tea-moth11]

A thought on differences

Being surrounded by friends that are as heavily into TMA as myself has been such a gift.

Many of them have also such deep dives into the various themes that exist in the show. The writing for TMA is so well done, and with the fics of my friends they reflect that.

There have been such amazing character studies, connections of themes to everyday life and problems, I could go on and on.

Fanfiction has an interesting way of bringing light to things in your own life that you hadn't yet considered. It gives a name and much needed language to feelings and experiences that may have not been given their true weight without it.

As a new writer I am often envious of the beautiful writing of my friends. They take such care in every work and I have the wonderful opportunity to see it from the ground up in most cases. The wide array of writing styles to uses of imagery is a wonder to behold.

They have been so encouraging not only to myself, but other writers out there. I only started posting in September with their support, not exactly screaming into the void, but the feeling was still there.

While I have difficulty articulating myself, I have seen discussions that are akin to scholars in ancient time on back and forth at lightning speeds. Sometimes it makes me wonder if I experience media "wrong".

Make no mistake, I am not hard to entertain in the slightest. While I love deep dives on various things, I could never do one myself and that is where I worry. I experience life through feelings if anything. Granted I cannot name them in the moment to save my life. This difference in consumption has led me to believe that I may just be somewhat of a shallow soul. Nothing inherently wrong with that, but I feel the difference.

This difference can be seen in my writing. Sure, it is fun and light hearted more often than not, but there are times that I wonder if that is worth putting out. Yes, I know that can considered negative self talk, I promise I am working on it.

There are no overarching themes that are explored in my works. I simply love TMA and everything that has come into my life because of it. Do I even want to have those deep, philosophical topics in my writing? Probably not.

There have been a few of my works that have been used for cathartic release after a stressful time or a bad episode. I cannot imagine that isn't something we see in fanfiction quite often as well.

It is hard not to compare yourself, and don't do what I am doing if you want to write.

Write for you. Write because it's fun. Write.

Sure, it isn't that deep. Cryptid Watch is basically like writing morning cartoons, a new episode of Scoobydoo dropping every Sunday. Perhaps not a story that will make you think or even just feel something deeply, but it is fun.

I appreciate every one of you that reads any of my stuff.

Anyways, thank you for reading if you did. I had a point to this, not sure where it went.

[robinsnest2111]

if I had a place of my own again you bet I will bombard all the people I love with requests and offers to come over and hang out. Cook, bake, watch movies or shows together, have sleepovers if the work schedules align, arts n crafts while sharing space, cuddle and nap piles if the fancy strikes. the whole 9 yards.

sucks that I can't do that rn...

[cadaverskey]

if i'm being entirely honest i find the term "spiritual psychosis" annoying at best. it makes me feel as though i, as someone with schizoaffective disorder, need to work extra hard to "prove" my spiritual beliefs are valid.

here's the thing. my spirituality has always been and will always be flavored and colored by being schizoaffective. even when i was an atheist i could not untangle the two. there's never going to be a way for me to know where the line is drawn between my spiritualism and my psychosis. for example i will probably never shake the idea that i died and was resurrected, and that event holds SIGNIFICANT spiritual meaning for me, even on antipsychotics, even when i can recognize that yes, it's probably the remains of a delusion.

so please tell me, why is it anyone else's business if i incorporate that into my religious practices? it harms no one and gives me one more reason to rejoice. if it started causing actual problems, putting me in danger, causing me distress, bringing along disorganized thinking or anything of the sort, that's when it would be time for me to get help. but really and truly i would not want random people im not close with to tell me to get that help, especially if their only clues into my mental state come from my spiritual practices. i am not a dog to be taken to the vet. sometimes people are psychotic and we exist in your communities and we have religious beliefs and you have GOT to suck it up and allow space for us, however our conditions affect us and our practices.

it's also just. buries my face in my hands. you can just say psychosis, you don't need a special term for it. again it just makes me feel like i'm being singled out and not being taken seriously because there's a long LONG history of psychotic/schizospec people having our mental illnesses used as reason to disregard us. please just mind your business.

[eschynite]

Maybe I'm projecting and being hopeful but I mentioned to M that I don't even get to shit by myself in peace lmao and I feel like something clicked for him. Bc I was like hey, at least you get private bathroom breaks at work (noncombative). And since then he's been a lot more acquiescent when I ask if I can nap and stuff

[if-loki-was-a-fox]

hmdnfbt something something 🦾

🦾 = A disability headcanon

Since you didn't specify a character I'm just gonna go through a handful just as they come to mind while I type

Grian and Tango are very ADHD to me, because I like inflicting pieces of myself onto fictional characters <3

Mumbo is also probably neurodivergent, I'm leaning autistic but I'm not autistic myself so I am also kinda biased towards ADHD because it's what I'm familiar with. Definitely anxiety tho

And side mention to my avian!Mumbo HC8 AU (where he gets wings from the Soul Juicer Incident) - I could see him having some sort of disability-ish thing going on with his wings never growing in fully, and instead staying small and unable to fly, if that counts as a disability given that he wasn't even born supposed to have wings?? But he would need some adjustments to any sort of elytra if he wants to ever fly again, given the wings being in the way, so I think that counts

Straying into DSMP, I also had an old headcanon for cRanboo using a wheelchair or being an ambulatory wheelchair/cane user, but never got to flesh that out to much. They are definitely ADHD to me too (because projecting again). And honestly I effectively headcanon them as immune compromised too tbh, with how bad I imagine their immune system to be. cRanboo gets sick constantly to me

cTechno also is definitely at least ADHD (but that's just canon) and maybe some sort of chronic pain or migraines from his execution and/or other injuries he's sustained over his life

And I also like the headcanons about cTubbo being deaf in one ear and/or blind in one eye, and having chronic pain from his execution

(ask game here)

[wild-at-mind]

If you ever see me becoming one of those transmisandry people, please fucking call me out immediately.

[tvrningout-a]

i'm creating a whole frikkin fantasy world with a conflict and everything, lord help me

[charlottedabookworm]

#29 - Contravention

feat Rihnn

is this any good? no. does my brain like this prompt? no. am i running on sheer spite to just finish this month? yes

"I'm so sorry," the stranger in front of xem says, their hands on their child's shoulders, shushing them gently as they cry, red-faced.

Rihnn picks xemself up off of the ground gingerly, leaning against xir staff. "It was an accident," xe says and xir lips twitch in an attempt at a smile. "Here, I am a healer, let me help," xe tells them, gesturing at the child, pretending that the words are not ash on xir tongue.

The parent smiles at xem, desperately grateful, as xir hands flicker with aether that dances along the child's skin, soothing aches and closing scrapes.

The child, wide-eyed, laughs as if they are being tickled, their tears forgotten.

"Thank you," their parent says and they shift, as if to say more and-

"Good day," xe says with a bow of xir head and xe runs. Xe runs away as much as xir leg will allow, leaning heavily on xir cane and the bile the rises in xir throat is not only because of the fire that burns in xir thigh.

It is only when xe is far enough away from the village that xe stops.

Xe stops and xe collapses against a tree and xe wants to scream. Xir throat is tight and xir hands are shaking and somewhere in the village, Ianna Carver and the child she named for a brother she doesn't remember carry on with their lives and-

"We had a deal, Rob," Rihnn whispers. Xir eyes prickle painfully. "I was supposed to bring you home to them."

It should have been xem...

[waytootiredstudent]

.... I once more have a John Oliver video for the topic:

It's not bananas but it does highlight the same principal problem - Low prices keep people in poverty and the fact that a few companies buy a big part of the market means they have a lot of control over those prices.

There is a part that states pretty frankly that here is a bottleneck in the production chain: a lot of people farm cocoa beans, a lot of people buy chocolate, but only very few companies buy and basically control the cocoa bean market.

The video is about chocolate and cocoa beans, but the underlying problem(s) can very easily also be applied to other things than cocoa beans.

I'm asking this genuinely, as a 19 yo with no education in economics and a pretty surface level understanding of socialism: can you explain the whole Bananas discourse in a way someone like me might understand? In my understanding it's just "This is just a product we can give up to create better worker conditions and that's fine" but apparently that's not the full picture?

alright so some pretty important background to all this is that we're all talking about the fact that bananas, grown in the global south, are available year-round at extremely low prices all around europe and the USA. it's not really about bananas per so--the banana in this discourse is a synechdoche for all the economic benefits of imperialism.

so how are cheap bananas a result of imperialism? first of all i want to tackle a common and v. silly counterargument: 'oh, these ridiculous communists think it's imperialist for produce to be shipped internationally'. nah. believing that this is the communist objection requires believing in a deeply naive view of international traide. this view goes something like 'well, if honduras has lots of bananas, and people in the usa want bananas and are willing to pay for them, surely everyone wins when the usa buys bananas!'.

there are of course two key errors here and they are both packed into 'honduras has lots of bananas'. for a start, although the bananas are grown in honduras, honduras doesn't really 'have' them, because the plantations are mostly owned by chiquita (formerly known as united fruit) dole, del monte, and other multinationals--when they're not, those multinationals will usually purchase the bananas from honduran growers and conduct the export themselves. and wouldn't you know it, it's those intervening middleman steps--export, import, and retail, where the vast majority of money is made off bananas! so in the process of a banana making its way from honduras to a 7/11, usamerican multinationals make money selling the bananas to usamerican importers who make money selling them to usamerican retailers who make money selling them to usamerican customers.

when chiquita sells a banana to be sold in walmart, a magic trick is being performed: a banana is disappearing from honduras, and yet somehow an american company is paying a second american company for it! this is economic imperialism, the usamerican multinational extracting resources from a nation while simultaneously pocketing the value of those resources.

why does the honduran government allow this? if selling bananas is such a bad deal for the nation, why do they continue to export millions of dollars of banans a year? well, obviously, there's the fact that if they didn't, they would face a coup. the united states is more than willing to intervene and cause mass death and war to protect the profits of its multinationals. but the second, more subtle thing keeping honduras bound to this ridiculously unbalanced relationship is the need for dollars. because the US dollar is the global reserve currency, and the de facto currency of international trade, exporting to the USA is a basic necessity for nations like honduras, guatemala, &c. why is the dollar the global reserve currency? because of usamerican military and economic hegemony, of course. imperialism built upon imperialism!

this is unequal exchange, the neoimperialist terms of international trade that make the 'global economy' a tool of siphoning value and resources from the global south to the imperial core. & this is the second flaw to unravel in 'honduras has a lot of bananas' -- honduras only 'has a lot of bananas' because this global economic hegemony has led to vast unsustainable monoculture banana plantations to dominate the agriculture of honduras. it's long-attested how monoculture growth is unsustainable because it destroys soil and leads to easily-wiped-out-by-infection plants.

so, bananas in the USA are cheap because:

the workers that grow them are barely paid, mistreated, prevented from unionizing, and sometimes murdered

the nations in which the bananas are grown accept brutally unfair trade and tariff terms with the USA because they desperately need a supply of US dollars and so have little position to negotiate

shipping is also much cheaper than it should be because sailors are chronically underpaid and often not paid at all or forced to pay to work (!)

bananas are cheap, in conclusion, because they're produced by underpaid and brutalized workers and then imported on extortionate and unfair terms.

so what, should we all give up bananas? no, and it's a sign of total lack of understanding of socialism as a global movement that all the pearl-clutching usamericans have latched onto the scary communists telling them to stop buying bananas. communism does not care about you as a consumer. individual consumptive choices are not a meaningful arena of political action. the socialist position is not "if there was a socialist reovlution in the usa, we would all stop eating bananas like good little boys", but rather, "if there's a socialist revolution in the countries where bananas are grown, then the availability of bananas in the usa is going to drop, and if you want to be an anti-imperialist in the imperial core you have to accept that".

(this is where the second argument i see about this, 'oh what are you catholic you want me to eat dirt like a monk?' reveals itself as a silly fucking solipsistic misunderstanding)

and again, let's note that the case of the banana can very easily be generalised out to coffee, chocolate, sugar, etc, and that it's not about individual consumptive habits, but about global economic systems. if you are donkey fucking kong and you eat 100 bananas a day i don't care and neither does anyone else. it's about trying to illustrate just one tiny mundane way in which economic imperialism makes the lives of people in the global north more convenient and simpler and so of course there is enormous pushback from people who attach moral value to this and therefore feel like the mean commies are personally calling them evil for eating a nutella or whatever which is frankly pretty tiring. Sad!

tldr: it is not imperialism when produce go on boat but it is imperialism when produce grown for dirt cheap by underpaid workers in a country with a devalued currency is then bought and exported and sold by usamerican companies creating huge amounts of economic value of which the nation in which the banana was grown, let alone the people who actually fucking grew it, don't see a cent -- and this is the engine behind the cheap, available-every-day-all-year-everywhere presence of bananas in the usa (and other places!)

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

sometimes all it takes is one session of info dumping about your oc world lore to someone and suddenly you're once again deeply invested in that world, your plot, and also you figured out one of the major problems that made writing it feel like a chore

[itsalwaysdark]

tangentially prev i literally used to get stressed out when i was a kid bc like i knew animals had different lifespans than people and id lie awake and id be like . if a deer was born in the wild at the same moment as me itd probably be dead by now . and id get so stressed out abt it

[arolesbianism]

I am thinking very very hard abt the toy world guys and oh baby I love dropping in disturbing lore bits that are just sorta dripped into the actual plot and otherwise are not explained <3

[phagodyke]

I should rewatch I saw the tv glow tbh. so funny to me that I've been so firmly in denial abt how much discomfort I've lived with for forever that even now I'm trying not to repress it anymore, my immediate knee jerk response to watching a film exploring that explicitly was Um No I Don't Relate To It Or Understand It At All Actually Sorry Must Be A Fault With The Film.....

[bmpmp3]

i keep choosing like the hardest songs possible to try to learn to make midis for vocal synth covers on. why do i keep doing this to myself. like is that reverb doubling back creating noise, vocal doubling, or a harmony. if its a harmony i'll explode on impact

[playingonedchess]

i dont have any emotions. except being like annoyed that doesnt count. and bored. i feel bored and annoyed. thats my whole life theres nothing else. im bored with my life and annoyed at how rubbish i am. im boring and annoying. thats all i am in the world all there is to see and all anyone ever thinks of me. i appear as a person simply as bored and annoyed and boring and annoying and theres nothing else. its for the best anything else is too much effort and too embarrassing i coildnt do it. the more people are bored and annoyed by me and dismiss and ignore me the better its easier theres no effort and this way i dont care cause theres nothing there its all blank and nonexistent and meaningless so theres nothing to notice or even have an opinion on and its all no one nothing blank rubbish what was i even talking about