#making myself not exist. basically. anyway

[bomberqueen17]

smorkles

So anyway. I don't remember when I last posted about anything and I'm not going to go look it up.

I don't start back at the farm until May 13th. My cabin has no electricity currently but there is apparently a trench being dug, and it will contain both a real electrical line (not a duct-taped extension cord!) and a water line??? of some kind??? with actual potable water??? sounds fake but ok.

but I am going to, not quite the farm, this week, leaving tomorrow. And i am going to stay with my middle-little sister. Because her housemate moved out, and her house needs some renovations, and now she's thinking she needs to sell that house and downsize to a smaller one, and that's all fine but like the main thing she needs to do is to get rid of like 3/4 of the objects she owns, and i say this from a place of I also have to get rid of like 3/4 of the objects I own and I dont' know how to do it or how to make her do it either and hate the entire concept of the process. But hey. There it is.

I am bringing her a kitchen table and a whole-ass tree that was rescued from dude's work office but is too tall for our ceilings. she has higher ceilings. we'll see how this goes.

i feel like i should be sort of retrospecting on what i did this off-season. right? like my life is in two annual chunks: farm work season, and not farm work season. Farm work season is usually April-ish through the beginning of December. And then since the beginning of December I've been doing Not Farm Work and I have no idea if I've achieved any of those goals. Did I set goals? IDK.

I did want to get my ADHD shit sorted out. So I started seeing a therapist. And she's admitted she's like, for short-term stuff, and needs to get me passed along to more of a specialist type person maybe. IDK. I've been told to form habits, told to buy a notebook to turn my life around with, and in other doses been fed things that i have largely seen before because i have been living like this for like, 40 years.

anyway. and also i tried all the basic meds, everything's "here try this and see what it does" dosages have given me negative side effects and no good effects, so if I want to continue trying to medicate myself I need to actually have a psychiatrist who I can ask questions of and get a response faster than two weeks. (That's how long it took to hear back on whether I could stop taking atomoxetine when it started giving me really bad anhedonia. Thankfully i had already figured that out on my own twelve days before, because i could not have lived like that for those twelve additional days, it was really bad. also he was like "and discontinue wellbutrin" my friend i discontinued wellbutrin in 2014 so i'm not sure who this was addressed to.)

but. yesterday's conversation, the therapist was going on about different things-- I had been given a rundown by a friend about the different types of behavioral therapy that existed, and how some of those might be more useful in trying to make concrete improvements in one's life, and my person was like "the thing is most of those are just fancy names for stuff you've largely already encountered so there is not going to be a magic technique that fixes you" and it's like

the thing is when have i ever said "find magic technique/drug that fixes me" is a therapy goal? That's not my goal. My goal is explicitly "figure out better coping mechanisms than what I have because brute-forcing normality for as long as I can and then feeling real shitty when I can't anymore isn't very sustainable", and no, I don't think that ACT or DBT is going to magically fix me, but if I can find more tools through a coordinated approach, wouldn't that be good?

What i can say is that so far using a lot of CBT-lite language and making lists has actually given me a borderline-pathological avoidance of my Special Notebook, in which i can no longer write but i do still carry it everywhere like a talisman (it's very useful. not), so I'm writing essays on discarded envelopes because I can't even use The Good Scrap Paper for this, when I tell you I've scarred myself trying to figure out how to make a fucking to-do list I'm not exaggerating.

So I have an essay written on an envelope from which i'm trying to extract, like, a thematic through-line to guide me in what to do next, and then a bunch of witterings in a discord convo, and I wrote a list of things I want to bring, and I did go move some furniture just now so I can get that table out of my house at some point.

Anyway, though, mid-conversation, the therapist was like, "have you ever heard of smorkles?" and i was like "i'm -- what? smorkles?" and she was excited and was like "oh this one will be so good for you!" and i was like "Sporkles? Smorkles? I'm not sure i"m hearing you, can you spell that" and she proceeded to spell out the word "smart" which

yes I do know about SMART goals actually, they are a management technique from the 80s that my dude uses extensively in his job as a staff engineer (which is like management but not quite) in his very corporate job at a very large software company, and he had laid out the criteria for me very earnestly once on a walk. so i do in fact know about them but not how to really apply that to my own life, and would need to figure out how to break that down, and i need a lot more steps than 'find a pen' and 'buy The Notebook That's Gonna Turn Your Life Around' to make that work.

but anyway.

i've decided now that smorkles are my new technique. and yes also smart goals but I think I'm going to call it "smorkles" because then I can make memes about my commitment to smorkle motion etc.

i need to figure out what SMORKLE is an anagram for. er, not anagram. the other thing.

[robinsnest2111]

if I had a place of my own again you bet I will bombard all the people I love with requests and offers to come over and hang out. Cook, bake, watch movies or shows together, have sleepovers if the work schedules align, arts n crafts while sharing space, cuddle and nap piles if the fancy strikes. the whole 9 yards.

sucks that I can't do that rn...

[cadaverskey]

if i'm being entirely honest i find the term "spiritual psychosis" annoying at best. it makes me feel as though i, as someone with schizoaffective disorder, need to work extra hard to "prove" my spiritual beliefs are valid.

here's the thing. my spirituality has always been and will always be flavored and colored by being schizoaffective. even when i was an atheist i could not untangle the two. there's never going to be a way for me to know where the line is drawn between my spiritualism and my psychosis. for example i will probably never shake the idea that i died and was resurrected, and that event holds SIGNIFICANT spiritual meaning for me, even on antipsychotics, even when i can recognize that yes, it's probably the remains of a delusion.

so please tell me, why is it anyone else's business if i incorporate that into my religious practices? it harms no one and gives me one more reason to rejoice. if it started causing actual problems, putting me in danger, causing me distress, bringing along disorganized thinking or anything of the sort, that's when it would be time for me to get help. but really and truly i would not want random people im not close with to tell me to get that help, especially if their only clues into my mental state come from my spiritual practices. i am not a dog to be taken to the vet. sometimes people are psychotic and we exist in your communities and we have religious beliefs and you have GOT to suck it up and allow space for us, however our conditions affect us and our practices.

it's also just. buries my face in my hands. you can just say psychosis, you don't need a special term for it. again it just makes me feel like i'm being singled out and not being taken seriously because there's a long LONG history of psychotic/schizospec people having our mental illnesses used as reason to disregard us. please just mind your business.

[wildchives4]

Maybe I'm projecting and being hopeful but I mentioned to M that I don't even get to shit by myself in peace lmao and I feel like something clicked for him. Bc I was like hey, at least you get private bathroom breaks at work (noncombative). And since then he's been a lot more acquiescent when I ask if I can nap and stuff

[if-loki-was-a-fox]

hmdnfbt something something 🦾

🦾 = A disability headcanon

Since you didn't specify a character I'm just gonna go through a handful just as they come to mind while I type

Grian and Tango are very ADHD to me, because I like inflicting pieces of myself onto fictional characters <3

Mumbo is also probably neurodivergent, I'm leaning autistic but I'm not autistic myself so I am also kinda biased towards ADHD because it's what I'm familiar with. Definitely anxiety tho

And side mention to my avian!Mumbo HC8 AU (where he gets wings from the Soul Juicer Incident) - I could see him having some sort of disability-ish thing going on with his wings never growing in fully, and instead staying small and unable to fly, if that counts as a disability given that he wasn't even born supposed to have wings?? But he would need some adjustments to any sort of elytra if he wants to ever fly again, given the wings being in the way, so I think that counts

Straying into DSMP, I also had an old headcanon for cRanboo using a wheelchair or being an ambulatory wheelchair/cane user, but never got to flesh that out to much. They are definitely ADHD to me too (because projecting again). And honestly I effectively headcanon them as immune compromised too tbh, with how bad I imagine their immune system to be. cRanboo gets sick constantly to me

cTechno also is definitely at least ADHD (but that's just canon) and maybe some sort of chronic pain or migraines from his execution and/or other injuries he's sustained over his life

And I also like the headcanons about cTubbo being deaf in one ear and/or blind in one eye, and having chronic pain from his execution

(ask game here)

[wild-at-mind]

If you ever see me becoming one of those transmisandry people, please fucking call me out immediately.

[tvrningout-a]

i'm creating a whole frikkin fantasy world with a conflict and everything, lord help me

[charlottedabookworm]

#29 - Contravention

feat Rihnn

is this any good? no. does my brain like this prompt? no. am i running on sheer spite to just finish this month? yes

"I'm so sorry," the stranger in front of xem says, their hands on their child's shoulders, shushing them gently as they cry, red-faced.

Rihnn picks xemself up off of the ground gingerly, leaning against xir staff. "It was an accident," xe says and xir lips twitch in an attempt at a smile. "Here, I am a healer, let me help," xe tells them, gesturing at the child, pretending that the words are not ash on xir tongue.

The parent smiles at xem, desperately grateful, as xir hands flicker with aether that dances along the child's skin, soothing aches and closing scrapes.

The child, wide-eyed, laughs as if they are being tickled, their tears forgotten.

"Thank you," their parent says and they shift, as if to say more and-

"Good day," xe says with a bow of xir head and xe runs. Xe runs away as much as xir leg will allow, leaning heavily on xir cane and the bile the rises in xir throat is not only because of the fire that burns in xir thigh.

It is only when xe is far enough away from the village that xe stops.

Xe stops and xe collapses against a tree and xe wants to scream. Xir throat is tight and xir hands are shaking and somewhere in the village, Ianna Carver and the child she named for a brother she doesn't remember carry on with their lives and-

"We had a deal, Rob," Rihnn whispers. Xir eyes prickle painfully. "I was supposed to bring you home to them."

It should have been xem...

[waytootiredstudent]

.... I once more have a John Oliver video for the topic:

It's not bananas but it does highlight the same principal problem - Low prices keep people in poverty and the fact that a few companies buy a big part of the market means they have a lot of control over those prices.

There is a part that states pretty frankly that here is a bottleneck in the production chain: a lot of people farm cocoa beans, a lot of people buy chocolate, but only very few companies buy and basically control the cocoa bean market.

The video is about chocolate and cocoa beans, but the underlying problem(s) can very easily also be applied to other things than cocoa beans.

I'm asking this genuinely, as a 19 yo with no education in economics and a pretty surface level understanding of socialism: can you explain the whole Bananas discourse in a way someone like me might understand? In my understanding it's just "This is just a product we can give up to create better worker conditions and that's fine" but apparently that's not the full picture?

alright so some pretty important background to all this is that we're all talking about the fact that bananas, grown in the global south, are available year-round at extremely low prices all around europe and the USA. it's not really about bananas per so--the banana in this discourse is a synechdoche for all the economic benefits of imperialism.

so how are cheap bananas a result of imperialism? first of all i want to tackle a common and v. silly counterargument: 'oh, these ridiculous communists think it's imperialist for produce to be shipped internationally'. nah. believing that this is the communist objection requires believing in a deeply naive view of international traide. this view goes something like 'well, if honduras has lots of bananas, and people in the usa want bananas and are willing to pay for them, surely everyone wins when the usa buys bananas!'.

there are of course two key errors here and they are both packed into 'honduras has lots of bananas'. for a start, although the bananas are grown in honduras, honduras doesn't really 'have' them, because the plantations are mostly owned by chiquita (formerly known as united fruit) dole, del monte, and other multinationals--when they're not, those multinationals will usually purchase the bananas from honduran growers and conduct the export themselves. and wouldn't you know it, it's those intervening middleman steps--export, import, and retail, where the vast majority of money is made off bananas! so in the process of a banana making its way from honduras to a 7/11, usamerican multinationals make money selling the bananas to usamerican importers who make money selling them to usamerican retailers who make money selling them to usamerican customers.

when chiquita sells a banana to be sold in walmart, a magic trick is being performed: a banana is disappearing from honduras, and yet somehow an american company is paying a second american company for it! this is economic imperialism, the usamerican multinational extracting resources from a nation while simultaneously pocketing the value of those resources.

why does the honduran government allow this? if selling bananas is such a bad deal for the nation, why do they continue to export millions of dollars of banans a year? well, obviously, there's the fact that if they didn't, they would face a coup. the united states is more than willing to intervene and cause mass death and war to protect the profits of its multinationals. but the second, more subtle thing keeping honduras bound to this ridiculously unbalanced relationship is the need for dollars. because the US dollar is the global reserve currency, and the de facto currency of international trade, exporting to the USA is a basic necessity for nations like honduras, guatemala, &c. why is the dollar the global reserve currency? because of usamerican military and economic hegemony, of course. imperialism built upon imperialism!

this is unequal exchange, the neoimperialist terms of international trade that make the 'global economy' a tool of siphoning value and resources from the global south to the imperial core. & this is the second flaw to unravel in 'honduras has a lot of bananas' -- honduras only 'has a lot of bananas' because this global economic hegemony has led to vast unsustainable monoculture banana plantations to dominate the agriculture of honduras. it's long-attested how monoculture growth is unsustainable because it destroys soil and leads to easily-wiped-out-by-infection plants.

so, bananas in the USA are cheap because:

the workers that grow them are barely paid, mistreated, prevented from unionizing, and sometimes murdered

the nations in which the bananas are grown accept brutally unfair trade and tariff terms with the USA because they desperately need a supply of US dollars and so have little position to negotiate

shipping is also much cheaper than it should be because sailors are chronically underpaid and often not paid at all or forced to pay to work (!)

bananas are cheap, in conclusion, because they're produced by underpaid and brutalized workers and then imported on extortionate and unfair terms.

so what, should we all give up bananas? no, and it's a sign of total lack of understanding of socialism as a global movement that all the pearl-clutching usamericans have latched onto the scary communists telling them to stop buying bananas. communism does not care about you as a consumer. individual consumptive choices are not a meaningful arena of political action. the socialist position is not "if there was a socialist reovlution in the usa, we would all stop eating bananas like good little boys", but rather, "if there's a socialist revolution in the countries where bananas are grown, then the availability of bananas in the usa is going to drop, and if you want to be an anti-imperialist in the imperial core you have to accept that".

(this is where the second argument i see about this, 'oh what are you catholic you want me to eat dirt like a monk?' reveals itself as a silly fucking solipsistic misunderstanding)

and again, let's note that the case of the banana can very easily be generalised out to coffee, chocolate, sugar, etc, and that it's not about individual consumptive habits, but about global economic systems. if you are donkey fucking kong and you eat 100 bananas a day i don't care and neither does anyone else. it's about trying to illustrate just one tiny mundane way in which economic imperialism makes the lives of people in the global north more convenient and simpler and so of course there is enormous pushback from people who attach moral value to this and therefore feel like the mean commies are personally calling them evil for eating a nutella or whatever which is frankly pretty tiring. Sad!

tldr: it is not imperialism when produce go on boat but it is imperialism when produce grown for dirt cheap by underpaid workers in a country with a devalued currency is then bought and exported and sold by usamerican companies creating huge amounts of economic value of which the nation in which the banana was grown, let alone the people who actually fucking grew it, don't see a cent -- and this is the engine behind the cheap, available-every-day-all-year-everywhere presence of bananas in the usa (and other places!)

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

sometimes all it takes is one session of info dumping about your oc world lore to someone and suddenly you're once again deeply invested in that world, your plot, and also you figured out one of the major problems that made writing it feel like a chore

[rayne-showers]

Collecting some tags:

#yes this#I do think it was Jayce who was convinced Heimerdinger would support their new projects#he said that after building the hexgates it was their turn to decide what to do before he'd even considered getting outside funding#so I'd argue he's the naive one more than Viktor#Viktor just doesn't want to deal with the financial side of things or think about money which I find relatable#he wants to help people in need not argue about money and it kind of sucks that the latter is also necessary#and Viktor did seem more skeptical if Heimerdinger would approve#overall I would expect Heimerdinger to be willing to fund broader hextech applications than solely what makes the council the most money#since scientific innovation is kind of what his whole character is about#but he has some reasonable safety concerns that he presents in a not as reasonable way (via @melanielocke)

#and there's still plenty of opportunities for jayce to act as the face even without schmoozing investors#public engagement events to give information and answer questions about hextech#while it's government funded if enough people are uneasy about magic there would be potential for protesting#parties and galas with the heads of trade unions to persuade them to join the venture#engaging with artisans and architects to develop plans for the hexgates#and more i'm probably not even aware of (via @4amarcanethoughts)

#also makes sense in terms of Jayce being so frustrated with Heimerdinger#and so ready to toss him off the council#because that means Jayce and Viktor NEAR EXCLUSIVELY (as far as we can tell)#worked to get the hexgates done which was 100% a council project#for 6 years#and then something that was specifically what him and Viktor wanted to do#(and was specific to Viktor’s background)#and is frankly a whole lot more practical and less dangerous that freakin’ MASS ACCELLERATION GATES#was outright dismissed for 10 years of testing!#THE HEXGATES TOOK 6 TO BUILD#and I’m sorry but I absolutely would trust gloves that punch things tech wise vs a giant acceleration gate that zoomed a whole ship and#everything and everyone on it#but also I’m sure Heimerdinger saw it as individual vs collective#since these were tools an individual would use#vs what Piltover would have direct control over#ugh I both love and hate Heimerdinger so much this dude had so many control issues when it came to the cities &dropped the ball on so much (via @dizzyrobinsims)

(Arcane Meta) Jayce probably did NOT canonically need to fundraise for Hextech pre-time skip / before 1.04 "Progress Day"

I posted this originally on Twitter but I find the format there quite limiting so I thought I'd expand on my thoughts here. (For those unfamiliar with Jayce/Viktor-centric Arcane fic, a lot of fics have as a plot point that Jayce needs to be constantly out fundraising to make their Hextech dream a reality before the events of Arcane.)

Not to debunk some widely held fanon that my own fics have indulged in, but we actually have evidence that Jayce and Viktor did not have investors before 1.04 "Progress Day" (ie, during the time-skip) because Jayce was surprised by the notion when Mel brought it up.

Now, I’ve seen and WRITTEN plenty of fics where Jayce spends much of the time skip promoting Hextech to investors, so I know this fanon is very widespread, but actually Jayce seems surprised by the very notion when Mel brings up that she has found investors for Hextech. The idea is foreign to Jayce, implying Hextech to that point was a state-run effort, ie, Piltover-funded and they only ever needed to convince Heimerdinger/the Council.

(*Puts on my tech startup-founder hat*) What changes in 1.04 is that Mel is offering to bring in OUTSIDE interests who want to add their funds to Hextech’s development in exchange for a “piece of Hextech” that has until that point been 100% limited to government funding, ie Piltover, which makes sense. The Hexgates were a government effort and therefore only ever had one customer.

(Indeed, I actually don't think there are Hexgates anywhere but in Piltover, despite what some fics have posited. First of all, why woul you give that economic advantage to potential competitors? With there being only one Hexgate in Piltover, all trade is forced to divert there, bringing their goods and their money, if they wish to reach their target destination in record time. Piltover then gets a piece of every trade vessel that goes through there in Hexgate fees and profits enormously. You leave it up to the merchants to make their own, slow way back and only ever grant them one-way instantaneous travel away from Piltover as the sweetener to pass through and give you a percentage of that tasty, tasty trade.)

Anyway, back to to the topic. So actually Jayce probably WASN’T doing the dog-and-pony show, dressing up and performing for investors during the time skip as those fics (and my own) posit. We know this because the notion was new to him. Jayce was still the public face of Hextech, the Man of Progress, but from what we actually see, between Mel, the Kirammans, and Heimerdinger/the Council, he never needed to fundraise.

Indeed, we actually see Jayce fundraise for the first time, after he becomes a Councilor, with Mel as his coach, at the opera when he comes up with the idea of "Hextech partners" on the spot. In fact, Mel compliments him on the NEW idea of offering Hextech partnerships to outside investors in exchange for early access to their innovations. If Jayce had been fundraising before that, such a mechanism would already exist and he wouldn't need to invent it then and there.

Now, I still think there's plenty of reasons for fics to have Jayce fundraising during the time skip. Arcane S1 is a very efficient show and a lot of stuff happens post time-skip that probably would have actually happened during it, realistically speaking, but they want to show it on screen so it gets moved later, even if it logically makes less sense. After all, Jayce's half of the show timeline is very weird, since it technically runs parallel to Caitlyn's time in the undercity, but she only spends a couple days there while Jayce talks about being a Councilor "talking about talking for weeks now." So I think any fic would be justified in telescoping and moving around some of the logistical timeline in their story in a way that makes more sense in a longer-form story than the show had time for.

If anything, it would make more sense if Jayce's discussion with Mel about investors happened not long after Hextech was first launched and it's just moved later so it can be shown on screen after the time skip.

But, it is also worth noting, that it is also realistic that Jayce never had to think about investors, because the Hexgates have been government funded since the start as the sole invention of Hextech. So in a way, it does make sense that only now would he and Viktor need to start thinking about outside investors if, say, they wanted to pursue innovations that wouldn't be wholly supported and funded by the Council. Say, mining equipment for Zaunite workers?

Viktor was sure Heimerdinger would see the potential, but once again I think that just shows his naïveté and scientific tunnel-vision. Viktor has never shown a mind for the financial side of science, he's an academic through-and-through. Jayce was always handling the business side and indeed, only barely handling the actual practicalities, as we see Mel and the Kirammans were as far as we can tell actually doing the behind-the-scenes heavy lifting so his "business" handling was just smiling for the cameras, not negotiating with trade guilds, up until he became a Councilor.

What this really tells us, as a final thought to leave you with that makes my logistical brain go brrrr, is that the Hexgates were much less a traditional "tech startup", reliant on the goodwill of a whole board of investors that need to be shmoozed, and much more a governmental program akin to the US moon launch, or the Suez Canal.

Jayce and Viktor probably never needed to worry about funding, because they had the entire treasury of Piltover backing their effort, an investment that Piltover almost certainly made back many times over with what the Hexgates would represent for hyper-accelerating trade through the area.

But, such automatic, assured funding has strings attached, strings we saw when Heimerdinger's swift dismissal meant they couldn't simply embark on their own vision for Hextech once the Hexgates were complete. They only ever had a customer of one (Heimerdinger, aka, the government of Piltover) and clearly couldn't even conceive of a way around their one customer telling them to delay the product for more testing, again, because they'd never even considered outside funding before. They'd never had to worry about it, or think about it!

If anything, Mel was probably setting them up in a kinder universe to go independent in a less dramatic way if need be with that initial idea of investors, before events spiraled such considerations out of control and suddenly Jayce was a Councilor who didn't need Hextech partners anymore. He was now, as de facto head of the Council, his own #1 customer and could have, in theory had he not stepped down, double-dealed with himself as Hextech founder (ie, corruption) to green light any Hextech project he wanted, had he truly recognized the potential, and had unfolding events allowed.

[arolesbianism]

I am thinking very very hard abt the toy world guys and oh baby I love dropping in disturbing lore bits that are just sorta dripped into the actual plot and otherwise are not explained <3

[connormoving]

tangentially prev i literally used to get stressed out when i was a kid bc like i knew animals had different lifespans than people and id lie awake and id be like . if a deer was born in the wild at the same moment as me itd probably be dead by now . and id get so stressed out abt it

[phagodyke]

I should rewatch I saw the tv glow tbh. so funny to me that I've been so firmly in denial abt how much discomfort I've lived with for forever that even now I'm trying not to repress it anymore, my immediate knee jerk response to watching a film exploring that explicitly was Um No I Don't Relate To It Or Understand It At All Actually Sorry Must Be A Fault With The Film.....

[bmpmp3]

i keep choosing like the hardest songs possible to try to learn to make midis for vocal synth covers on. why do i keep doing this to myself. like is that reverb doubling back creating noise, vocal doubling, or a harmony. if its a harmony i'll explode on impact

[mcmansionhell]

new jersey "19th century" "eclecticism"

It's always funny to me when new wealth tries to imitate old wealth, but in a very specific way: by trying to reproduce old ways of building that are no longer viable via mass produced building materials and contractors who are better than average but still not quite in the legion of the bespoke. It's rarely the case that houses are fully "custom" these days -- the amalgamation of all the different parts in a new formation is the "customization" at work. As we can see in this example, this is a truth that is often covered up by excessive decorating.

This 5 bedroom, 6.5 bathroom house, built in 1997 (shocker) will run you an extremely reasonable $3.5 million big ones, but I say extremely reasonable because it wants to be a $10 million house but doesn't quite get there - after all, it's made with drywall. The architectural style is not really anything in particular -- though the front entrance would like to recall the Tudors. Really it is trying to emulate an existing pastiche style, namely the eclecticism of the 19th century. It also doesn't do this well.

No stately manor is complete without dueling staircases. Also, I don't know how to explain it, but every room in this house longs to be a bathroom. Or a powder room. A really big one. It's probably the floor, and the wallpaper. This is just the appetizer for the main attraction:

Jules Verne larping is so rare in McMansion Hell that you have to commend them for trying. I'm kind of obsessed.

This room is so important to me. It's like if an Olin Mills (dating myself here) set was an entire room. A sense of watching someone in one's own house, performing "dinner." Also I would slay as the swan knight, I have to say, so I get it.

What happened to baskets hanging from the ceiling and powder blue walls and porcelain lined up on the picture rail?

I have seen columns terminating into soffits that would make Scamozzi cry.

In Big America bathing and lavishing is a spectator sport.

Ok, again, the palette of this house is basically The Polar Express mixed with a very bizarre hotel lobby.

The chimney hole is sending me because that does appear to be a working chimney. Like, can you see the smoke come out? Who knows!

Anyway, happy Thanksgiving to everyone, and I'm especially thankful to the folks who sponsor me on Patreon! If you want to see more scenes from this house, that's the place to do it!

If you like this post and want more like it, support McMansion Hell on Patreon for as little as $1/month for access to great bonus content including a discord server, extra posts, and livestreams.

Not into recurring payments? Try the tip jar! Student loans just started back up!