#making me feel so lonely

[royalrudberg]

Reading The Pairing and banging my head against the wall bc of these two disaster bisexuals

[anchoeritic]

im done living his girlfriend-less life. i deserve affection!

[hinamie]

god, i wish i knew you back when i was a kid / but when you stare into me now, it feels like i did

[amogus-real-not-clickbait]

I wish gay people were real,,,,,, carrots au my beloved

[joneevarts]

I just want to be happy but rusty quill said no.

Edit: y'all this is Peter Lukas not Martin lmaooo (tho they do look alike, plus I didn't made his white hair strands visible enough so my bad)

[teddybeartoji]

been thinking a lot abt fwb!gojo today.... this is his first time ever doing this kind of a thing btw. i do not think he sleeps around AT ALL. but with you, he just... you start off as very good friends but then it keeps escalating – you start sitting closer and closer, your thighs always touching as you lounge on the couch. his hands seem to always find your waist in public, your seem to be in his hair more and more. and the thing is... satoru isn't all that good at deciphering his own feelings. he isn't entirely sure what this is; the butterflies in his stomach whenever you laugh at his jokes, the warmth that spreads under his skin whenever he sees you bend over. it's weird. he doesn't know what to do.

so, when one night you inch closer with your hand on his thigh, he lets you. he welcomes you with open arms. you ask whether it's okay or not and he lets out a shaky yes, his cheeks burning with something new, his eyes low and heavy as he stares at your lips. you feel so good on top of him, your body flushes to his and he thinks about how perfect this is. how much he likes it. the night is like a wet dream for him, something he's always dreamed off but when you leave the bed and hop into the shower without giving him a kiss, he doesn't even know what the weight on his heart means. where it comes from. he doesn't ponder over it for too long though as you step outside the bathroom in a shirt way too big, his shirt. he watches you get dressed and hums when you joke about his bed hair. he thinks you look gorgeous. he doesn't ask for you to stay – if this is what you want, to leave without the desire to continue your adventures from the last night, then so be it. satoru wants you to be happy. you tell him it was good and that you'd like to, perhaps, do it again and he can taste you on his tongue when he says that he feels the same. satoru will take every crumb you'll give him with a smile on his face. he won't complain and he won't ask for more, not yet at least. for now, he'll be completely and utterly at your mercy, a lapdog for you to play with whenever you so desire to do. a selfless kind of love.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

Suspirium - Thom York

[napping-sapphic]

I just want to fall in love with someone who makes me feel safe like even when we’re angry or sad or upset i just want to know that both of us are still going to be okay

[neonbuck]

you have to love people for real. and that means loving them as people who have flaws, and will annoy you or get on your nerves some times. treating them like a toy or product you can throw away when you get bored or upset is not acceptable. it's what we've been conditioned to do, but it makes the world worse.

[guardian-angle22]

This or That: Tarlos Edition -> Loft or townhouse?

[shalom-iamcominghome]

I've been doing a lot of reflection as of late, especially after this past class.

This past class was about the Torah and Tanakh in general, and the way the rabbi talked about the commandments (specifically the ten commandments) has made me really reflect on how I interpret them, specifically the fifth commandment, or honoring your mother and father.

This is a commandment I have wrestled with for a long time - in fact, it brought me away from g-d at multiple times. I was severely abused when I was incredibly young by my mother, and I used to feel insulted at the implication that I were to honor her while she got to live a better life. It was hypocritical, in my eyes.

But this rabbi surmised that this particular commandment was because parenthood is an act of creation, something that is like the g-d from which we come from. My realization is this: I don't think we're necessarily meant to take even these commandments literally.

I this particular commandment is more of a call to honor creation - creation is a gift, and like any gift, many people simply will not like it and will discard it. The person who abused me created me, but she did not honor creation. She didn't honor me, but I can still honor it.

I have started to honor creation much more. I'm too young, too unstable, not mature enough to be a father (though I fantasize about it), but I create all the time. I create relationships, I create with my hands through crochet. I create memories, I create my world. And I can honor who I am and where I came from that made me who I am. I've been learning one of the mother tongues of my family (Italian, since part of my family originates there) and it was judaism that inspired me to do this.

I don't think g-d wants me to honor my abuser. I think He wants me to remember the Holy action of creation. When I am a father, that act of creation will be Holy, and indeed, I am already joyful about the thought.

I have seen many people struggle with this particular commandment, but I think this perspective helps me personally. I don't think I ever have to forgive my abusers (plural), and I don't think I am commanded to simply because they happened to be family. I am commanded to recognize the holy, to elevate the mundane. In doing so, I will remember g-d. Through creation, I honor g-d and everything he has done for us, for me, and for our collective people.

[sunlit-mess]

A little less lonely

[peterm4rker]

(❆⋆.˚) the stich that stole christmas !

🕸🕷✮⋆ [haechan x reader] ...୨♡୧... wc. 2.2k w. cursing, lmk if you find any! fluff ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ

christmas with donghyuck was always an adventure and a half.

there was always something for him to do, an occurrence to make your supposedly peaceful winter time into the most chaotic time possible. one year it was baking cookies for your entire friend group, another volunteering at the most hectic shelter he could find. this year, he had decided it was appropriate to engage in an ugly sweater competition.

“you’re going down” he snickered, poking at your cheek with a smug expression as you made your way into your shared room “i’m going to have the ugliest sweater you’ve ever seen”

you rolled your eyes, hiding the humor that was laced on them “nu-uh, mine is going to be so much uglier” you stuck your tongue out at him.

“my sweater is going to be so ugly that you’re gonna cringe when you see it” he pressed, getting closer to you.

“i always cringe when i see you” you gave him a smug smile, chuckling at the way he pouted. you stole a quick kiss from his lips, attempting to kiss his pout away. “i’m just joking, baby”

“you hate me, just say that” he whined dramatically, grabbing your arms to throw them over his shoulders and let his weight fall on your body, pushing you to the bed. you let out a loud laugh as you hugged him tighter, nuzzling your nose to his hair.

“i don’t hate you, hyuck” you reassured, hand flying to his hair to brush your hair through it. 

“i don’t believe you,” your boyfriend answered, a pout evident in his voice.

“and what am i supposed to do to make you believe me?” your voice was laced with humour and fondness as your heart shrinked with love.

“let me win the sweater competition.” you could feel his smile on the skin of your neck, tickling you softly.

“absolutely not, but i can give you kisses” he lifted his face immediately from its hiding spot on the curve of your shoulder as he heard your words, puckering his lips and waiting for what you had promised.

you couldn’t help but giggle softly before peppering his face with pecks, ending it with some on his lips. being with donghyuk meant having to deal with his clinginess and his whiny nature, but you would be lying if you said they weren’t some of the many reasons why you had fallen in love with the brown haired boy.

…

“does it have a picture of chenle on it?” donghyuck asked curiously as he followed you around the kitchen. 

“of course not, why would it?” you snorted, continuing to move around the space as you prepared hot cocoa for both of you.

“well, he’s pretty ugly” he shrugged, looking at you with lovesick eyes, following your movements like a lost puppy.

“let’s not lie to each other” you chuckled, looking back at him and stealing a peck from his cheek before he began whining.

“then is it a picture of your family dog?” he asked, trying his hardest to not let his smile break through his lips.

“hey! he might not be beautiful but he's cuter than you” you stuck your tongue out at him, feigning offence as you took both of your mugs to leave them on the coffee table in front of your tv.

“i take offence to that, if i'm not cuter than that dog then maybe i should be the one put on that sweater” he made an exaggerated grimace.

“you’re so mean, he’s beautiful” you retorted, trying not to laugh at his funny remark while you climbed on the couch, covering yourself with the cozy blanket.

“you literally just said he’s not” donghyuck pressed, following you quickly and cuddling to your side.

“i don’t know what you’re talking about” you tried to ignore as you turned the tv on, looking for your favorite christmas movie.

“yeah, sure” he scoffed, rolling his eyes in feigned disbelief. he watched you for a couple seconds, knowing that he had a limited amount of time before your attention was taken by the tv. “i have a proposal” he heard you hum as you clicked into the movie, pausing it and looking back at him with a questioning look. “let’s have a prize for the winner, the boys can be the jury”

you thought about it for a second. with your friends as judges, you had a pretty big chance of winning. they loved annoying your boyfriend, anyways. “okay, and what’s the prize?”

the boy took a second to think, tapping his chin with the point of his finger as if he were in a movie. “loser has to wear a maid dress around the house for a whole week”

the seriousness in his voice and expression caused you to let out a groan combined with a laugh. what did you expect?

“if you’re fine with your friends seeing you in one of those when they come over like six days a week, sure” you retorted.

“i don’t care because i’m not going to be the one wearing it” he shrugged, a smug smile placed on his lips.

“oh, so you’re fine with them seeing me in it? i’m surprised you are, knowing all the things chenle has told us” you arched your brow at him, smiling at the sight of his smile falling immediately.

“you’re right, we have to think of something else” he nodded, making you chuckle softly. it didn’t register in your brain how you could be so endeared by such simple things, but you were with every single thing he ever did.

“what about loser pays for dinner?” you asked as you reached to brush a strand away from his eyes, your hand moving on its own looking to touch him some way. he instantly nuzzled his cheek to your hand, and you swore your heart melted right there and then.

“that’s boring” he pouted, looking at you through his eyelashes like he knew you loved “i will gladly pay for your dinner any time you want”

you smiled instinctively, leaning to peck his lips quickly. “okay then, the loser pays for dinner and has to wear the sweater out to whatever fancy restaurant we chose.”

he thought it over for a few seconds before finally nodding. “okay, deal” he smiled as he moved to envelop you in his arms, pulling you closer to him. “i hope you know that i’m going to try harder to win now, i won’t ruin my fashionista rep”

you snorted as you grabbed your mug from the table and moved to lay your head on his chest, taking the remote and pressing play. “you don’t have a fashionista rep” 

“shh, baby, the movie is starting” he shushed you, making a smile widen on your lips as you watched the title appear on the screen.

…

you sighed heavily as you opened the door to your apartment, wanting nothing but to jump into your boyfriend’s arms after a long day of responsibilities. as you closed the door behind you, your eyes searched for him, eyebrows furrowing together when you noticed he was nowhere to be seen. you checked your watch, he should’ve gotten home two hours ago. huh, weird.

“hyuck? i’m home” you called out, settling your things on the table and beginning to take off the many layers of clothing that covered your body from the cold weather of the outside world. your body jumped slightly as you heard a loud noise coming from your room, but you calmed down as you heard your boyfriend’s familiar voice exclaim a hushed “ouch, shit”

it didn’t take long for hyuck to come rushing into the room, running towards you and engulfing you in his arms to twirl you around. “hi, beautiful”

“hi, my love” you smiled and cupped his cheeks, pulling him into a short kiss. “what were you doing?”

his brown eyes widened like they only did when you had caught him red handed on something, blinking a couple of times before shaking his head “nothing, don’t worry your pretty little head about it”

you looked at him, squinting slightly as you tried to figure out what he was doing before he heard you come in. if he wasn’t terrified of what was to come next, he would have laughed at your face and how you made that exact one when you couldn’t read something that was a tiny bit too far away.

his eyes searched yours nervously until a loud gasp erupted from your lips, your hand flying to point at him. “you were looking for my sweater!” you accused.

shit.

“no i wasn’t!” he tried to defend himself, hands flying up to his sides as if they were to prove his innocence.

“yes you were! you dirty cheater” you exclaimed, your finger poking his chest accusingly. “i cannot believe you”

“oh, stop being so dramatic! i didn’t even find it” he rolled his eyes, a fake pout finding its way onto his lips.

“so you were looking for it” you glared at him, and he sighed heavily.

“maybe, but i didn’t find it so it literally doesn’t matter.” he watched as you opened your mouth to retort, but he was quicker. “now, stop complaining and let's go take a warm shower together.”

maybe you would tell him no if you weren’t about to freeze to death before, but you were… and he was offering… and well, you wouldn’t have ever refused, really.

“let’s go, but know that i’m relocating the sweater” you walked away, aiming for the bathroom.

“i looked everywhere, no way it’s here” he spoke, following after you like he always did.

“i guess we’ll never know”

… 

the day had finally come. the majority of your friends were sprawled around you and donghyuck’s living room, except for mark, who jaemin had said had a prior engagement to attend to. you decided to ignore the fact that he had been missing many of the group activities since december had started, you would pry it out of him later.

“okay, i think it’s time,” donghyuck spoke, interrupting the ongoing conversation as he looked at you. you nodded at him, standing up from your place on the floor and looking for renjun’s eyes to send him a signal. he nodded as well and stood up as you and hyuck disappeared into separate rooms of your house, leaving the rest of your friends confused.

renjun handed them each clipboards and a marker before standing on the entrance to the living room “gentleman, today is the day” he started off dramatically “today, the fate of a dinner and hyuck’s nonexistent fashionista rep is on your hands” his words made everything make sense, and the rest of the boys straightened on their seats to play along. “the two participants will come in with eyes closed, as they are not allowed to look at each other until the judges have made a decision.” he continued, raising his voice so you would both hear him. “without further ado, participants, come in”

you thanked the universe for choosing your house to host the event as you walked into the room with your eyes closed, trying your hardest to remember where everything was placed. you could feel hyuck standing next to you as you reached what you thought was the middle of the room.

“you’re soo losing” your boyfriend whispered next to you in a sing-song voice.

“never, fashionista.” you stuck your tongue at him even though he couldn’t see you, a smile replacing the gesture as you credited your banter for the muffled laughter that came from your friends.

“okay, the judges have made a decision,” renjun spoke, a smile evident in his voice. “make sure to look at them before you look at each other please, now open your eyes in three… two.. one”

you opened your eyes and were immediately faced with confusion as each of them held a word to form the phrase “you are so stupid”. your eyes instinctively switched to your boyfriend, trying to see if he was equally as confused.

“oh, you’re fucking kidding me!” you exclaimed as you finally looked at him, seeing nothing else but the fact that he was wearing the same exact sweater as you.

the boys exploited in loud laughter as you stared at each other in disbelief for a few seconds before he groaned dramatically and you prepared for the tantrum he was about to throw.

…

“well, it wasn’t that bad at the end of the day” you broke the silence as you finished the bite of food you were eating. 

“yeah, i guess it wasn't,” donghyuck smiled, the dim lighting of the restaurant reflecting on his honey coloured skin, making him even more majestic than he normally would even if he was wearing the ugliest sweater you both could find.

★ blue's corner ;; heyyyyyyy. i hope you guys enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it ! i've been feeling really fluffy for hyuck and i think its showing a lot but idc bc he deserves it. this is for my wife, my everything, my one and only @lyvhie and also part of the love actually series that i'm doing with both of my blogs ! ★ taglist ;; @neozon3nha @winwintea @spacejip @dudekiss3r @yizhrt @lyvhie @morkiee ★ back to the masterlist. ★ please do not copy, adapt or steal any of the content !!! ★ divider by @fairytopea

© peterm4rker, 2024

[lesbiancosmicowl]

It was a girl. She was a little girl. ↳ Carla Connor + Being the mother she could have been

[stiffyck]

I WISH ARO HEADCANONS WERE MORE POPULAR IN FANDOMS

[somnimagus]

My page for @destinytriofanzine! I drew something about kids always dreaming of far off places

[id in alt!]