#making a stink about it''
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jackdawsfavorite ¡ 2 years ago
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Dunno why finding out Andrew Callaghan has been credibly accused of serial sexual assault got to me so much but i had weird dreams about it and everything
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danandfuckingjonlmao ¡ 3 months ago
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ghost-proofbaby ¡ 4 months ago
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It's summer for you, winter for me. Warm me up with strawberry fluff! As always, my muse, your muse, the one and only, Eddie.
Midsummer's night, because I don't have a lot to inspire you with. I'm thinking something cute but weird? Maybe some human body softness where Eddie is a bit of a freak and we love him for it. And we're told our bodies are lovely, even when they're doing weird shit.
I lalalove youuuuu. xo Rhi
RHI!!!! <3 i adore you. thank you for this prompt - i had far too many ideas for it, but ended up on settling for this one, which coincidentally feels like the most subtle of them all? either way, it definitely turned out being the softest. give me an eddie munson who just wants to sniff me like a dog. this definitely got a bit long but i hope you enjoy, my dear <3
the smell of you
warnings: weirdos in love? idk. i have a skewed sense of what is actually weird i think. mentions of death and coffins jokingly. eddie 'manhandles' reader sort of. not edited.
wc: 2.2k+
come enjoy a sweet summer treat with me <3
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“Eddie?”
The entire apartment is quiet – too quiet – as you drop your keys into the old crystal bowl on the counter. The clink resonates through the air, louder than the soft murmur of the stereo static you can hear from down the hall. 
“You dead?” you call out again, slipping off your running shoes and tossing down your headphones onto the counter as well now, “Do I need to call the coroner?” 
Your tone is lilted, teasing with airiness as you continue to wander deeper into the apartment and head straight for the room you know Eddie has to be in. Like the waves pulled by the moon, there’s an incessant string tied around one end of your soul that connects you to his, and you follow it all the way down the hallway. The bedroom door is wide open, and you can hear his mumbled yell of a response without clarity before you even cross the threshold. 
You wouldn’t have even needed him to verbally respond to find him in this tiny apartment. You two could get separated on the streets of a bustling city, of a buzzing New York sidewalk, and you still wouldn’t properly lose him. It’s more than just soul ties and his gravity that keeps you pulled to him. 
Something unspoken. Something homely. 
“Sorry, what was that?” you hum as you spy him face-down in the bed, pillow muting him by the mouthful, “Say it one more time, and this time not into the pillow.” 
When he finally properly turns over, he’s a vision. Sleep lines folded into his skin and a bit of drool in the corner of his mouth, eyes squinting in irritation not at you but the sunlight flooding in through the bedroom window. Messy hair, messy shirt, messy everything. A kind of mess you just want to collapse into currently, curling up in all that he is from the day’s exhaustion. 
He’d mentioned wanting to take a nap before you’d left for the gym. Something about the summer heat draining him, trailing off as he’d rambled about how he’d probably thrive as a vampire. 
“I said,” he huffs, sitting up, the frizz of his hair becoming a makeshift halo, “If you call the coroner, request the comfiest coffin possible.”
“Why do you need a comfy coffin if you’re already dead?” 
“You dare deny me of being buried in tempurpedic memory foam? In my hour of need?” 
You roll your eyes as you huff out a little laugh, forcing yourself to turn away from him long enough to strip out of your socks. But just as you reach down for the pieces of clothing, you catch sight of the source of that stereo static flooding the room. 
Your shared record player, spinning a blood red pressing of one of your more recent vinyl purchases. The album has been played through, but the player no longer had an automatic stop mechanism, probably from years of use. 
The center of the record is probably scratched, and Eddie knows it, from how sheepish he looks when you glance over your shoulder at him. 
“Speaking of death,” you walk over quickly, purposefully, before carefully lifting the needle and cutting the static finally, “Care to explain why you’re burning scratches into my Momento Mori vinyl?” 
“I’m sorry,” he quickly apologizes, nearly flinging himself off the bed as he scooches quickly to the end, clearly fully awake now, “I put it on and thought I’d just lay down for a quick second, but then the bed was so comfy, and I thought it wouldn’t hurt to take a quick nap, and then…” he trails off, looking up at you through his lashes with big eyes already pleading for forgiveness, “I’ll buy you a new one. Swear it.” 
It’s impossible to be mad at him when he’s looking like this, inhumanely soft and easily forgiven, “You’re lucky you’re cute, or you really would be dead.” 
He doesn’t respond with words, but instead the outstretch of his hands, fingers flexing as he beckons to you. The needle rests on its perch, the vinyl left behind to gather dust for a few extra moments, as you go straight to him. 
When his palms slip beneath your old t-shirt and meet your skin, they’re pleasantly warm. 
“You were right,” you admit as his knees spread, delegating even more room for you to stand in front of him as your hand wanders to cradle the side of his face, fingers tangling in sweaty curls from his rest. Your thumb mimics his on your own skin instinctively, tracing a large arch right up over his cheekbone, “It’s hot as balls outside.” 
“Told you so,” he murmurs, smiling softly in satisfaction as he leans lazily into your touch. 
“You did,” you agree quietly, half-entranced by his relaxed face, no sight of pride in the room currently. 
He resembles a cat as he continues to preen under your gentle hand, and you almost expect him to start purring right before you find the strength to pull away, removing his hands from where they'd wandered to your lower back. 
One swipe of his finger along your sweaty spine, and you’d remembered what your original intentions had been immediately upon getting home. 
“Wai- Where are you going?” he’s seemingly brought back down to Earth the moment he loses the pattern your thumb had been tracing, the press of your fingertips into his scalp. When he reaches back out to latch onto you again, you take a step back, “Get back here-”
“I need to shower,” you laugh, shaking your head and smacking his hands away as he continues to barter, “I’m all sweaty and smelly, let me go clean up and then we can nap togeth-” 
“You can shower after we nap,” he nearly whines, finally catching your shirt between his fingers and tugging, uncaring for if he stretches the fabric. A small price to pay to have you close to him, “C’mon, sweetheart. I know you’re just as exhausted as I am.” 
You swear you meant to take another step backwards, but somehow, you end up back between his knees, “Did you not hear me, Munson? I stink.”
“Good.” 
He doesn’t give you any time to react – in an instant, he’s throwing his face forward, burying it against your stomach as you let out a gasp and immediately try to pry him away with far too gentle of hands in his hair. 
“Eddie!”
If it were anyone else, you’d probably be mortified. But Eddie just takes a dramatic deep breath in, nose buried just shy of your belly button, and when his shoulders start to shake with muted laughter, you can’t stop the smile from breaking. Your fingers are still twisted in his hair, still pulling back in an attempt to get him away from you, but he’s resilient. 
And all your faux resistance is weak in comparison. Soon enough, you’re back to melting into him. 
Only once you’re relaxed once more, no sign of trying to pull away again any time soon as his hands once more evade the space beneath your shirt to wander up and down your sticky skin without a care in the world, does he lift his face away from you long enough to breathe and speak, “I’ll have you know – I love your stink.”
“Shut up.”
“I’m serious.” 
“You’re an idiot.” 
“I’m your idiot.” 
The game of banter is cut short when he goes back to pressing his nose into your clothes that surely can’t smell good. No amount of deodorant or perfume could erase that underlying stench of sweat. Hell, the shirt is still a bit moist from it all: from the walk to the gym, from your workout itself, from the walk home. It’d been through the ringer, and you’re back to tugging him away from you. 
“I refuse to believe you like how gross I smell right now,” you reinforce, eyes darting towards the bathroom connected to your master bedroom, “I promise I’ll be quick with the shower.” 
“Baby,” he fights back, wrapping his arms around you securely, no intention of losing this battle, “You remember that time we went to the fair, and you were complaining about how you were sweating, so I tried to lick your face?” 
Your nose scrunches quickly at the memory, “I do, unfortunately.”
“You really think I’d be willing to lick the sweat off your body but be afraid of you smelling a little bad while we cuddle?” his shoulders drop as he looks up at you, head tilted, almost as if amused with the conversation, “What kind of man do you take me for?” 
“The kind that gets off on annoying me.” 
His jaw drops, putting on a fake look of offense before he dramatically throws himself back onto the bed, laying flat as he makes a fist to mimic stabbing his chest, “You wound me.”
You’ve heard those words a thousand times in a hundred different ridiculous voices. You’ve seen this scene enough to have it mesmerized at this point, down to the over-exaggerated pout of his lips and the lingering of the fist against his sternum. 
You never grow tired of it. You never will. 
“Need me to kiss it better?” you joke as you prop a knee up on the bed, following the same script as always. 
And he hits his queue perfectly when he lifts his head eagerly at the expected response, wiggling his brows a bit. “Absolutely. Doctor’s orders, in fact.” 
“Great,” you see an opportunity, and take it, “I’ll get right to it, after my showe-” 
You don’t even get the final syllable of the word off your tongue before he’s clenching his thighs around your own, knees pressing hard before he wraps his legs the rest of the way around your waist to pull you in. A squeak of surprise leaves your lips as you begin to fall forward, but Eddie is quick to break the fall with ease. Catching you with his eager hands, maneuvering for you to half drop to the mattress while some of you still lands atop of him. 
He has you right where he wants you, turning his head to be face to face with you, noses nearly brushing, “Unfortunately, the doc said you have to kiss it better now, or else you’ll be comfy coffin shopping.” 
“A fatal wound?” you gasp, nearly mocking him. It doesn’t offend him – if anything, his boyish grin only grows wider, “First, I’m smelly-”
“Again, I like when you’re smelly.”
“-And then I inflict a fatal wound upon my lover? Oh, how dare I.”
Slowly, all your insecurity of how you currently smell is simply fading. The entire ordeal has become an art of childlike, whimsical jokes – and Eddie is an artist. A professional at the dance, locked and loaded with his incomparable skill set equipped for disarming you this way. The ability to make someone feel loved, imperfections and weirdness aside. 
He likes you, even when you claim you don’t smell your best. And you like him, even when his hair is tangled beyond recognition and one of his socks is half-hanging off his foot from a nap.
You like him when he’s embarrassing you in public, tongue chasing after you with the threat of licking your sweat away, and he likes you when all you can do in response is a weak palm to his chest (that isn’t even making an effort to push him away) as you giggle relentlessly. 
You like each other on the good days, the bad days, the weird days. 
Disarmed entirely, you don’t even notice when his face conveniently slots itself far too close to your armpit as you two scooch further up into the bed. You’re more occupied with the way your legs tangle up, toeing each other’s socks off properly as he slings a heavy arm across your torso. 
“We’re gonna have to wash the sheets,” you mumble, exhaustion catching up as the two of you finally settle. 
He hums absentmindedly, nuzzling into your skin a bit further as he makes himself comfortable. “And wash away your sweet, sweet stink? I don’t think so, sweetheart.” 
“Oh, fuck off,” you laugh, unbothered as your fingers start to trail up and down his back over the t-shirt, smoothing out wrinkles along the way, “I’m serious. We need to change them soon anyways, I think I got crumbs in the bed the other night with those crackers.” 
“Bury me in the crumbs of all your midnight snacks,” he almost slurs, clearly drifting back off. 
You snort in response, relaxing and letting your own eyes shut. Matching all your deep breaths with his own, a million different last words crossing your mind to whisper to the boy you’re sure is once again asleep. 
I love you.
I adore you. 
I would like to spend the rest of my life with you, if you’ll have me. 
And maybe some of those unspoken thoughts slip out without you realizing, because he squeezes you just a little bit tighter, presses his face just a little bit deeper into your skin as his scruff tickles you. 
The only actual thought you can know for certain that you say, though, is, “Do you think they actually make coffins with memory foam inside?” 
To your surprise, even despite the almost-snores that had been escaping him, he answers in a heartbeat. 
“Oh, definitely. We’ll order two.”
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nappingpaperclip ¡ 6 months ago
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y’all we r not beating exorsexism and misogyny by calling every transmasc that pisses u off a ‘theyfab.’ Idc if they are annoying or have dumbass opinions, literally using someone’s agab as an insult is wrong and treating transmascs as annoying little afabs is deeply misogynistic and transphobic. What happened to just calling people fucking idiots
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marzipanandminutiae ¡ 8 days ago
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kids in museums, volume 438
small girl, maybe 7 years old, approaching me at an open house: why are there so many NAKED PEOPLE [ie artwork] in here?!
me: well, a long time ago in ancient Greece and Rome, they thought the human body was really beautiful. like a work of art that nature made. so they put a lot of naked figures in their statues and paintings, and then later on, people wanted things to look Greek or Roman, so they copied that.
her, huffy: well I think it's GROSS! BLECH!
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essenceofarda ¡ 3 months ago
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gosh i wish Christopher Tolkien was still alive :')
RIP to my main bitch you would have loathed rings of power
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tubbytarchia ¡ 20 days ago
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thinking about the potential of double life smallidarity
Sorry I know you probably mean "What if Jimmy and Joel were assigned soulmates" but I'm also already insane about their canonical interactions too
Joel upon meeting Jimmy in DL: "HA thank GOD we aren't soulbound!! I'm gonna make your soulmate annoyed!!!!!!!" (proceeds to punch Jimmy) Joel later the very same episode: "So Tango um is Jimmy like. okay.."
Loser. Such a loser
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be-an-echo ¡ 8 months ago
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from another mother...
the day when Tess and Maria got shitfaced
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the-greatest-magic-of-all ¡ 9 months ago
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All things considered though, I do think Fabian having to babysit his baby sibling only to be the first to find out that said baby is a Wild Magic Sorcerer (thanks to Bill's chaotic infernal blessing) and have to deal with their back to back surges would be funny.
Just imagine Fabian carrying his baby sib (who currently has a blue feather beard) on his hip as he assures his mother that he has everything under control only for his sib to turn into a potted plant mid sentence. Only to turn back and then promptly disappear into the Astral Plane for a minute.
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black-and-yellow ¡ 2 years ago
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Punk rocker in training.
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seriousturd ¡ 5 months ago
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Been loving this dynamic
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openphrase123 ¡ 6 days ago
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chat i have five hours left of my twenties what do i do with it. nevermind i need to finish tomorrow's four eyes chapter that's what i'm doing
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corntort ¡ 1 month ago
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rtheres a fucking girl in the marsh
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theanonymousninja247 ¡ 2 months ago
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✨ Star Friends ✨
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When I found out that @chessman-protocol boy Crit liked Astronomy, let’s just say I was beyond estatic and immediately planned this little comic. Here’s to my boy Vincent doing his best to make friends with folks who share similar interests 😅💙
Funny enough, I didn’t realize I put this in Vincent character’s until I looked at the whole thing, but Vincent very much shares the lack of stranger danger the way I did/ I do to this day. To quote one of my past managers I’m “abnormally friendly” or whatever
I can’t tell you how many times even as a small child (drove my parents nuts) that I saw a cool person with whatever connecting factor and I just straight up walked to them and was like “Ok cool. We’re friends now.” And nobody’s really stopped me? So apparently I have friends now. 😆
Vincent however is just a wholesome baby boy who doesn’t realize he’s actually an intimidating hunk of a turtle and randomly walking up to strangers and not saying anything can be taken the wrong way.
Like I said, he’s trying his best. He wasn’t exactly the most socialized if you can’t tell, but he does love dearly and is certainly a boone of a friend to have once you get past the inevitable social awkwardness. He’s loyal to put because he really doesn’t know better, and I adore him for that. Anyway, dunno if Crit knows any ASL or not, but either way Vincent is just excited to meet somebody else who likes space ✨🌌 💙
#just being jayus#doing this ugly and scared#my boy <3#Vincent my beloved#rottmnt original character#rottmnt oc#original comic#rottmnt#save rottmnt#unpause rise of the tmnt#time to go feral in the comments again; please ignore the ramblings of an insane person#Fun fact: Vincent is mute (late mutation and didn’t fully develop vocal chords) and so he only speaks turtle and partial ASL#Morrocoy Tortoise AKA Yellow or Red Footed Tortoise bop their head to assert dominance and show emotions#Head hopping and headbutting is Vincent’s tic and you can tell how he’s feeling by how fast or slow he goes because it’s a VIBE#Working on this comic was like the preverbal attempt of taking a horse to water#except this horse is a pony (anything under 14 hands is of the devil) and would not even spare it a glance unless it was perfection#Alas mockery and spite is unfortunately my demise and I could not handle the blank page any longer#Can you see how my style changed when the focus and subject changed?😅#Forgive me my son#for I have not learned to draw you from all angles yet.#Why did I make you so pretty and detailed in my head and yet have my hand betray you?!#The true tragedy is when your idea level is not at your skill level bECaUsE I KnOw wHaT hEs SuPpOsEd To LoOk LiKe BuT I CaNt DrAw HiM yEt#So here we are and I am accutely aware of how much work there is to be done. I’m looking at you flippin turtle anatomy#But hey we all have to start somewhere#so here I am#I tried and by golly I will keep trying. Vincent deserves that much 😅🧡🫡#I just looked back at this and realized I MISSED A STINKING PANEL. And Vincent’s shirt.#Flips a table in my mind#Also I’ve never made a mute character before so if anybody has notes especially about ASL PLEASE PLEASE P L E A S E lemme know.#Wanna make sure I represent the peoples correctly 🫡🧡
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skinnypaleangryperson ¡ 23 days ago
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I despise how that Nora bitch has actively invaded fandom spaces that were made for general fans with her self-inserts with Randy, and is such a thumb sucking sheltered moron that she genuinely cries to her millions of friends that of course cock her off the second that not every single fan instantly caters to her specific shelter of what she wishes South Park fans were (self congratulatory clones that think that she's the center of existence when it comes to Randy or that she's the only one that's ever loved him deeply or ever will, which of course she would love the narrative of because it's the only thing that ugly moron is ever going to have to make her feel special).
I don't normally allow the countless morons that are in consumerism culture to get to me like this but because it's specifically Randy, it's been over three goddamn years, and because it's specifically the fact that she's being increasingly more narcissistic and obnoxious about her garbage and that she's forcing people to see it even in generalized spaces, and when you look at her page she is specifically encouraging the fact that she owns Randy, on top of the fact that she is millions of obnoxious equally pathetic sheep that are encouraging her pathetic attitude, on top of the fact that she has literally been quote tweeting people harassing them for being depressed that they're not popular.
Yes, I would say that people like me deserve to feel incredibly bitter about her "mark", an incredibly rotting stinking pathetic mark and all that she has to offer in her pathetic life.
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sukibenders ¡ 3 months ago
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The way people are becoming anti-children nowadays is really sad. And I'm not talking about people not wanting to have kids of their own, that's fine and something that shouldn't be shamed nor up to someone else to debate. No, I'm talking about the people who adamantly hate these little humans for simply existing, wanting to ban them from spaces due to them having emotional reactions that they are still learning to understand (you know, the kind of lessons that everyone had to learn and figure out at one point). It's gotten to the point where I've even seen these types of people genuinely support children being harmed and deny their hurt under the consensus of "Well then maybe they shouldn't be there," in your average public space. Like, imagine thinking hating on children, people who need assistance and guidance, is something to be proud of.
#like ill never forget this lady talking about how she took her son to some ice cream or cookie place#and let him look at the display (which is normal) only to have to pull him away bc a man got way to close#and when she talked about how weird it was (which makes sense bc it was) people were blaming her for letting her child run free (which wasn'#t what happened people just threw that in there to justify their hate & dismissing of the potential harm a child could've experienced)#“i vote that dogs should be on plans more than children bc they aren't as annoying!” is gross and brain dead bc only one of those two can#use the bathroom while the other uses it on a mat something in which has potential to stink up a plane & annoy people as well#you just want to bring your dog on board without all the hoops so you act like hating children will solve it#and coming from an animal lover dogs and other pets have the ability to annoy you on flights just as much as children can let's think now#also ive seen people say that children are wrong for experiencing emotional outbursts and im like “while it can be frustrating having to#deal with acting like you weren't in their shoes once and trying to shame them for these emotions is such a jerk thing to do“#also like its guaranteed that kids are going to cry on planes how about instead of shaming them & their parents maybe idk buy soundproof hea#-dphones? like parents are going to bring their kids traveling (as is their right) and are educating them the best they can that's not going#to change so why not take simple steps to prepare instead of hating on little humans? just saying#again this is not for people who just don't want to have kids! people who don't are just as valid as people who do#don't let anyone tell you otherwise#miscellaneous#idk necessarily how to tag this tbh#rants#tw for mentions of children being harmed
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