#make sure to set boundaries
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So I kinda want to start my own writing blog but I have like zero followers and idk where to really start? Ur one of the few blogs I look up too a lot! 😭 I just wanna know if u have any advice for a beginner like me?
Aw thank you so much! That’s really kind. ;u; <3 Funny thing about this question! I was kind of talking about this with a friend yesterday. Sorta. The difficult thing with creating is that like… people are like, “Don’t worry about other people! Create for you!” But at the same time, what’s the point in creating if it’s not for others to see? We create because we want to share with others, you know?
My theory on the matter is…. still what those people say. Just write and post your stories. If you create while worrying if people will notice you, you’re going to cage yourself into feeling you need to meet (what you perceive to be) their expectations of you. When it comes to creating, it’s one of those things that you just have to trust the process. When you create what you want to create without mind to others, people WILL notice that. They WILL get attracted to you and what you write. They WILL come to look forward to your posts. You just have to trust that they will.
Do your best not to get too caught up in the amount of notes you get for something. You’ll find that things you’ve tried really hard on will barely get any notes while things you wrote for fun will get a lot. It can get draining at times.
If you are still concerned with not having any followers, one thing that I think really helps is being the reader you want others to be for you. As a writer, there’s nothing more flattering than someone reblogging my stories with tags or sending in asks saying what specifically they liked about my story. Or well, honestly it doesn’t even need to be things they liked. When they simple share their thoughts and what it made them think about, it’s very flattering. And it makes me want to check out their own blogs and follow them back.
It’s scary to start writing, but once you start, you will get people that like your work. And they’ll stay for your work, even if you go weeks on end not writing. Just trust the process, you’ll definitely get there! And when you get that blog up, maybe you could drop me a line so I can check it out too, hm? ovo <3
#oh! make sure to tag your work properly#also this is just my personal opinion but like…#if you have a decent amount of ideas you want to write you should do those first before opening requests#what you write without influence will create a baseline of what readers can expect from you#open up requests too early and… idk#there’s a good chance you’ll receive very self-indulgent requests#ones that you may not feel comfortable or interested in or even qualified to write#make sure to set boundaries#and if you ever find yourself too obsessed over notifications I highly recommend turning them off#it’s helped me a lot#what kills a writer the most is getting too anxious over expectations#remember#you are doing everybody a FAVOR for letting them read your writing#don’t let you trick yourself into thinking you owe readers anything#readers are very simple people#they’re just happy to read something nice#readers never expect gold from you but it’s easy for you to trick yourself into believing they do#they’re just happy when you post#so don’t take your perception of expectations too seriously haha
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You are not broken for being repulsed. Nothing is wrong with you. You don't need to be fixed. Do not hurt yourself by purposely going past your limit to trigger your repulsion - that's not how exposure therapy works nor is it supposed to cause harm to yourself.
Do not make yourself physically ill trying to be "normal" you deserve better. You deserve kindness. Grant yourself that kindness.
#text#romance repulsed#sex repulsed#plato repulsed#rose repulsed#aro#ace#aromantic#asexual#aroace#positivity#its ok to set up a healthy boundary for your limits#sure repulsion can cause immense distress in which therapy may be beneficial#but never assume you need it to make OTHERS comfortable#and please always seek therapy advice from an actual therapist#they can help you create a plan#the point is that you only require therapy if YOU are being harmed by your repulsion#how others feel about it does not matter
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New Age AU (Error's Wacky Wild Plan)
Hi guys. So. Crazy Story. The crisis that stopped me from working on my banner art actually catapulted me into writing this drabble finally! (Also the wonderful @ancha-aus was also a life-saver and helped me hammer out a few plot points for this installment <3)
Currently my only context for this drabble is that Error is tiny, and ran away from home because Geno moved to Reaper's kingdom to make money to send back home, and Fresh spent too long away on his trip. Error was expelled from his magic academy and came home to an empty house, so he left! Now he's been on the road for about a month? Nightmare has been ruling for about 6-ish years now, almost 7.
(Hello @mutzelputz and @papiliovolens hi guys!!!)
The town was bustling.
Error had been through a lot of towns since he’d left. Big ones, small ones, ones he was convinced weren’t even towns at all, just a few barns in a general closeness to one another who decided they needed to call themselves something besides the outskirts. Those people had been particularly hostile to his passing through.
And, lately, they’d been really weird. People staring at him when he’d walk on the streets, or pass by shops. When they saw he had money from a different kingdom (he didn’t even realize he’d left his own, but he figured it meant he was on the right path) they’d squeeze their faces like they bit a lemon and hastily take his coin. Like it was cursed, or something. They were lucky it wasn’t cursed, honestly. He could probably figure out how to do that.
This town, though, was filled so full with people that he imagined they couldn’t look at him weird if they wanted to.
People were riding horses, chatting in the streets, all sorts of stalls and merchants were peddling goods, and he was almost positive he could hear music lifting down the street over the general drone. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d run into a place so busy. He’d always been told to stick to the side, out of the way, out of danger.
He didn’t have to listen to that anymore. Though, he did skirt the crowds. The mass of people seemed all too willing to bump shoulders or elbows with each other in the early morning sun, and the last thing he wanted was to have his magic act up in a crowd. He’d done well so far.
Every booth, every merchant, every passerby seemed jubilant, ebbing and flowing. It was like some sort of party.
That was, until, Error spotted it.
A big building, something that Error recognized only vaguely.
It was an amphitheatre.
Geno had taken him to see one once. Or, at least, the ruin of one. It hadn’t been too far from their home, and it was pretty abandoned and lonely. Plants had crawled up its walls, stones had fallen off in chunks, animals seemed to have deemed its high windows a perfect spot to build nests. It had been breathtaking, and ancient.
This one? Seemed perfectly in-use.
The walls were all in-tact, stones, an easy to look at grey, smooth and covered in little intricate carvings. Spells, he had to imagine, in some language he didn’t know. Curtains hung over the huge arched entrances, and heavy gates seemed to be lifted, the spikes at the base loomed over the heads of every passerby.
He couldn’t help but marvel. Was this a restoration, or maybe it was new. Some sort of imitation. Regardless, he found that his feet carried him to one of the entrances, which stood largely empty aside from some folks who looked strikingly like guards.
Two of them stood, long spears in-hand. They both stood stock still as Error approached, and didn’t move a muscle as he passed them. They were strange, definitely different. Not at all the town guard he was familiar with.
The inside of the theatre was even more impressive. Rows and rows of stands seemed to line up either side. Huge tapestry hung from the high arches past those seats, and down the runways of the bleachers, all a bright teal and dark navy blue. They seemed fancy, and much newer than the curtains which had hung in the entrance.
Beyond the walkway where he stood, was a set of stairs which led down a level or so, before it leveled out into an open space. Sandy, and very flat. It seemed like there were people there, too. A much smaller crowd, but still a crowd nonetheless.
Error was almost amazed he’d not been stopped by someone yet. Whatever was going on seemed important, and so far in his experience, people did not like him sticking his nose into important business.
With that in mind, he decided he’d stick to the entryway for now. He leaned his bag up against the wall and watched from a position where the sun still shadowed his form. He was often grateful for his miscolored bones. It made hiding in the dark a whole lot easier.
It took a bit for him to really process what he was watching in the morning light.
There were four people sat on a sort of raised box toward the front of a stage. A huge stage, raised up off the sand with wood slats. They had a long-table before them, and quills and ink jars in-hand. Well, three were sitting. One was standing. But the point is, they were all watching the stage very attentively.
On-stage there was… basically nothing. Only a simple backdrop Error had to imagine was there at all times, because it looked like it was coated in sand, even from the distance where he stood.
A person would enter the stage, the people sat on the box would speak to them, and then there was a flare of magic. Another. Another. And then they were dismissed.
It wasn’t until he really bothered to think about what magic was being cast that he realized those were extremely simple spells being used. Levitate, Create Water, Mimicry. Or Flame, Gust, Light. All just three easy spells, and then they were off-stage. That was taught magic. It gave him memories of his entrance exam to his school. He’d been way overqualified to get in, Geno taught him after all…
But, no, this didn’t feel the same. There were plenty of people who seemed to stumble at spells they didn’t recognize, or who couldn’t muster a simple breeze. Then others who were very old and obviously skilled. Obviously they found the three spells to be child’s play. Like Error would. This was no entrance exam, so what-
“Hey, pipsqueak, what are you doing there in the dark?” A voice startled him, and it took all of his willpower to avoid jumping away from its origin.
Error twisted rapidly, just in time to avoid the thrust of an elbow in his direction.
There was a monster there. Three, actually. Two lizards, both bright green and tropical, and one who looked more like a dragon. The green one closer to him must have spoken, because he laughed at Error’s flinch.
“Why are you bothering me?” Error shot back haughtily.
The lizard seemed to grin at the response.
“Oh, so we’ve got a feisty little small fry here? Thinks he’s scoping out the competition?” The dragonish one hissed, voice deep.
The other green one tittered a giggle, “So cute! I can’t believe the King really decided to let just anyone try out for Royal Mage.”
Oh…
The lizard before him seemed to take this silence as a weakness, and reached out quicker than Error could react. A flick to the middle of his forehead.
Error winced and pulled away, back and into the arena. He grit his teeth and clutched his skull, where at the same moment the lizard jumped back and shook their hand in the air a bit. His magic had reacted poorly again, and while it was better than it used to be, it still stung like 5 wasps touching down and stinging the same point all at once.
“Little freak.” Was all the monster hissed, before he fled. His two friends moving on behind him in confusion. Approaching the line to the stage.
Error stood there in the sun for a moment, rubbing at his forehead until the pain was more of a numb static.
If anything, he appreciated the little run-in with those wanna-bes. Now he knew exactly what this was, and why it had felt so familiar to him.
The Mage Trials.
Geno had to go through them, and he’s been very thorough about his every single detail while doing it. Even though he was the best mage Error had ever known, he’d still stressed and wrote page after page of plans and spells and had placed them into a folder that felt thicker than an encyclopedia. Geno had always been the only one of them who bothered studying. Fresh couldn’t go to school anymore, and Error… Well, Error didn’t need to.
Thinking about it, Geno had been very quiet about it, but Error had looked into his folder a few times. Just out of curiosity. It’d been split into three rounds, something Geno had said was standardized. The first was a test of someone’s basic magic skills, the second were more complex spells which the mage has practice in, and the third, the one that had given Geno the most grief, was the personal spell round. In the last one, there were no restrictions to what someone could do, so long as they had done the work themselves, and that it mostly used magic.
If he was right, and he usually was, then this was the first round. Eliminating those with nothing but a hope and a prayer in their pocket before they got embarrassed before the one looking for the Mage in the first place. In this case, whoever this kingdom’s king even was.
In just a few moments, Error had decided.
This was how he’d prove himself.
The line was already starting to get longer, and he didn’t want to be here until nightfall in a queue. He dusted off his scarf, his shoes, his bag, and set off into the bright sun to secure his place in this contest. No prep. No warning. Just with his raw skill and what he’d learned so far. Nothing could possibly go wrong.
.
Finally.
Error felt like it had been hours in the warm sun before he was finally up next.
He’d been watching, of course. Watching as the people before him were passed or failed. It was just as he’d expected, and he couldn’t help but be a bit giddy as the two green lizard who’d bothered him earlier both failed. Though their dragonish friend had passed, it was still enough of a victory for him.
Along with that, he noticed that the three people sat were all in robes of nobles. Something the wealthy and lofty would think to wear in a blazing hot arena all day. The one standing, though, was wearing all black. A hood was over his head, but Error thought he might be some sort of cat-monster. Very stone faced, very still. The only time Error had seen him move was seemingly to veto whatever choice the other three were making. He thought it was interesting.
That didn’t matter, though.
Based on what he’d seen, these people wouldn’t have any qualms with his magic. He was much better than half the people who’d already been passed, and knew he could keep him calm up on the stage. It’d be just like his entrance exam.
He watched as the monster who’d gone before him, a skeleton who was twice his height and twice as animal-ish, bowed gratefully to the people on the boxes, the evaluators, and exited. She’d passed fairly easily, Error thought. Though, her focus seemed elsewhere based on how shaky the hold on her last flame had been.
“Next!”
The call was shrill, and Error had heard it over a hundred times already today, but this time it bounced in his ears as he lifted himself up the steps and strode onstage.
If he’d thought about it, he would’ve tried to find a place to stache his bag, but it was too late for that, and frankly he didn’t trust it not to get stolen once it was out of his sight. Not with how busy the city seemed.
When he was stood in the center of the stage, he looked out across the way to the evaluators. They seemed closer up here than they did when he was on the ground. Interesting.
“First spell,” The person on the far left called, though Error could tell now that it was a voice projection spell. So they didn’t strain their vocal chords, “ Levitate.”
That was simple. One of the first spells he’d been taught as a kid.
His eyes skimmed briefly, there had been a few props on stage that he only noticed once he was closer that were meant to be used with this sort of spell, but Error wasn’t for that. Instead, he muttered the words under his breath, outstretched a hand, and felt his magic reach out around him. Beyond the stage.
There… There was a barrier of some sorts, pushing back against his magic, between himself and the evaluators. He furrowed his brow and urged his magic forward. He didn’t have to break through it. He just. Had to- His magic felt like it was looping and wriggling like a worm through the dirt, but when it broke through on the other end, it felt so much more clear. He could feel a potent magic there, something raw and wet, like the air before a storm.
That didn’t matter, though. None of it did, because he was on a mission. His magic finally found its target, the stacks of ink bottles which the middle evaluator had just before their parchment. The magic latched on, and Error finally allowed himself a grin as he tugged his hand upwards. They floated calmly into the air, three of them, and did a quick spinning motion, before settling back down just where he’d found them.
He didn’t catch the looks on the threes faces, but he had to imagine they were priceless. He was more focused on letting the spell dissipate and preparing for the next.
It took a moment, before, “Second Spell,” They said, “Create Water.”
Another easy one.
Error held his hand out again, though this time his palm faced the sky rather than the ground. At the mutter of his words, he could feel the water manifesting. Tiny droplets leaking from his fingers and into the air above his open palm, where he let it gather into a nice, easy sphere.
It hovered, and for this one he could see the nods from the three evaluators. The fourth, the cat monster, didn’t move an inch. A good sign.
Error, after a breath, moved the orb of water and simply set it on the stage floor. If he had to release it, he didn’t exactly want to get his clothes wet. That orb tended to shoot outwards when he released it, and the water would go everywhere.
“Third spell,” They must’ve been contented with his simply setting down the water, for they continued, “Flame.”
Ah, one of his favorites. He was never very good at it, of course, but it was certainly very fun. If nothing else it’d be a taste of his raw power.
He rolled up his hanging sleeves, quickly using strands of string to wrap them in place, before he picked back up the water orb in one hand. With the other, he faced his palm toward the side of it, and spoke the words for the flame spell.
The heat gathered in his wrist, and all at once shot out of his palm, like a cannon blast. The heat was intense, and Error laughed quietly to himself in pure elation as the fire did exactly what he was hoping. All at once, his glasses fogged, and a burst of steam blew past his face, off to the exiting side of the stage. He’d evaporated his orb, no longer needing to risk someone seeing him fumble with it and soak himself.
He let the fire die after a few second, and quickly grabbed the hem of his scarf to wipe down his glasses from the fog left behind on their surface.
The moment the red rims were back on the bridge of his nose, the voice spoke up again.
“Name?”
Error cleared his throat, before calling back his name in response. Just the first one, the last one didn’t matter anymore.
There was another few breaths of quiet, before,
“Age?”
Error hadn’t heard them ask anyone else for their age, but he figured they’d noticed. How strong and talented he was at such a young age.
He puffed up his chest when he announced, “Twelve!” to the arena.
There were a few muffled murmurs from the line, but Error was too busy grinning across the way at the evaluators as they seemed to talk amongst themselves.
He was ready to hear the word that would mark him to continue. The next part was tomorrow, after this round was concluded and the king arrived. He’d heard about it in the line while he was waiting.
One of the evaluators lifted their gaze back to him. Opened their mouth.
“Disqualified.”
That.
Huh?
Error must’ve visibly glitched at the response, because one of the evaluators seemed to flinch. Ever so slightly.
“How come?!” Error called back, reservations immediately fleeing his mind.
How could they disqualify him? He hadn’t heard them do that to literally anyone else so far today.
The evaluator on the far right spoke up, “Too young. Now please move off the-”
Error might’ve let his mouth speak before his mind, if he hadn’t seen the way the mysterious cat monster seemed to slink forward. A simple tap to the evaluator’s side and they stopped mid-sentence, attention drawing to the person.
He waited with balled fists. Hoping, against it all, that this person was using his mighty veto powers to get him his passing review.
“The Knight wishes to speak to you further.” They said, when the person, the Knight, took a step back. “Exit the stage.”
Mm.
This was his chance. This was his moment. He was being allowed to move on, he was sure of it. It had to be.
He practically scrambled off the stage and down the steps, and found that the Knight had closed the distance very quickly. He gestured silently for Error to follow him off to the side of the arena, seemingly outside of the voice spell’s range, as the noise of magic and calling for the next viewer seemed all muffled and contained.
Something Error noticed about the guy, now that he was right beside him walking along, was also that he wasn’t a cat monster. No, he had some sort of mask shaped like a cat. Black spots painted on black fur, with piercing white eyelights hidden in the darkness cast by his black hood. A cloth mask covered the lower half of his face, so Error would’ve had no idea what kind of monster he was, if he hadn’t left his hands uncovered. They were grey and grimy, but they were most certainly bones.
The other thing he noticed, was the magic. That damp, airy magic was no-doubt from this guy. It practically enveloped the both of them until they were stood in the shade of the wall separating bleachers from arena floor.
“You said you’re twelve?” He finally asked, shifting on his feet to look at Error.
The last thing he noticed, which only happened once he was able to look past the aura, was that. Well. He was a bit taller than this guy. Not by much, but there was certainly something stark about having to look a bit downwards to meet his eyelights.
“Yes, I am.” He claimed proudly, still convinced this was to be his ride to the top.
The knight seemed to skim him with his eyes. Surely taking in Error’s clothes, his bag, his glasses, the weird bones. Though, it didn’t feel pervasive.
“Impressively strong for a kid,” He praised loosely, “And probably talented in spells if the nerds were any indication.”
His voice was quiet and raspy, but Error had no problem listening to it. This strong and very cool guy who was called a ‘knight’ was praising him. This was much better than getting yelled at by his professors. Much.
“Does that mean I passed?” He asked impatiently.
He needed this. He needed this.
The guy’s eyelights lingered on his face a bit, and it was then that Error finally noticed how virtually unreadable this guy was. Impossibly quiet, posture unmoving, all facial features shrouded in shadow and covered by masks?
“I’m not sure what kingdom you’re from, but you’ve got to understand that the folks up there didn’t say no because you’re bad. They said no because the king made a new decree. “No soul under the age of 16 shall be put to work under the crown.” They’ve gotta take it seriously, just like everyone else has to follow the new rules about their own shops and businesses.” He said evenly, eyelights never leaving Error’s face. “You’re a couple years too early is all.”
It felt like he’d been shoved into a ditch, and he could already feel his right hand starting to tremble with the beginnings of a glitch. He was furious! How could they possibly say no to him because of some stupid rule about his age?
“No!” He exclaimed, trying to bite back the distortion on his voice, “I’m not going to just walk away. If I could just move on to the next round, they’d see I’m different! I’m not some weak little baby!”
He clenched his fists, driving his jittering one forcefully into his pocket.
The knight didn’t even flinch at his declaration.
“They’ve already seen that.” He said easily. “Listen to me. Error, right?”
Error hesitantly nodded.
“Error, ‘m sure that if my Lord saw you in action, he too would agree that you are very strong and resourceful.” The knight said, and Error hated that it sounded earnest. “But, he set that law into place for very good reason. If by any means those folks back there were to let you through, to pass you, and you made it before the king next round? They’d have committed treason, and I’d have their souls on the end of my bone in three seconds flat.”
His voice was hard and serious, and Error held strong as a loud crack echoed out beside the knight. A bone raised from the ground, sharp and jagged on the end, absolutely radiating magic.
“Do you really want their blood on your conscience, just so that you get sent away by the King anyways?” The knight offered.
Error hunched his shoulders a bit, and he felt his static worsen as he let his eyes linger on the bone. Yes. He muttered inside his head. He wanted to scream it at the man before him. Tell him that this was his one golden chance to prove himself.
But to who? He would ask, and Error wouldn’t be able to say it. It’d be a wasted sentiment and wasted time and wasted lives just for his temper tantrum.
“...No.” He bit out meekly.
He stood there, feeling a familiar shame creep up his spine. The knight made no move to leave, though he did let his bone disappear. The ground looked untouched from where it had split out of. Just more sand. Sand that was getting into Error’s bones. That he’d have to clean out later. Swinging in his hammock, lonely and moping.
“Heh,” The chuckle was almost inaudible, and Error was almost ready to let his distress turn back into rage, but, “Better kid than I was.” The Knight mused into the open air.
He seemed to shift his stance again, and Error took a half step back.
“You’ve got your life ahead of you, kid. Don’t let this keep you down. Take the road less traveled by or whatever.” He said then, waving a hand loosely before him.
Error stared at him, trying to even his breath, before he had an idea.
“The other two rounds will be here, right?” He asked, voice still harshly stuttering and screeching. The Knight seemed unbothered.
“Yeah. Planning on sticking around to watch?” The knight questioned, though it felt more like a warning.
Error nodded in agreement without hesitation. “If these geezers can get the job, I need to see what kind of tricks they have up their sleeves.” He agreed.
That earned another little chuckle, before the knight looked back to the stage.
Up in the center was a new mage, a human who seemed to be making a pretty wild wind that was whipping the sand around, bothering the people in line behind him. Error heard the knight make a scoffing noise, before turning back towards the stage.
“Go hang around somewhere else for a while, why don’t you? I have to go make sure those nerds don’t pass that guy.”
Error didn’t even get to say a farewell before the Knight was off.
It seemed like every stride he teleported a bit further, building speed until he stopped cleanly up on the pedestal. Just in time for the sandstorm to die down.
Error didn’t want to walk away from this, he didn’t, but staying would only waste his time. It only took a few more seconds, to watch the knight nudge the evaluator and hear the muffled call of ‘fail’ ring out across the arena before he was turning tail and moving out of the sandy paradise, back into the bustle of the living city.
.
.
.
It was impossible to miss it. The sounds of celebration as the monarch entered the town.
Error could see the royal carriage from his perch, an old temple tower that had at some point lost its bell. It seemed untouched, birds nests and cobwebs, so he’d set up a hammock and a little makeshift shelter inside using his strings just before night fell.
He’d snatched some food from the town as dusk was setting in, and he’d been comfortably whittling away the dark hours, working hard on his plan.
With the King officially in town, that meant the second round would be starting up shortly, taking the numbers of who would be in the third round down by hundreds. He hoped the king was stingy about it. He hoped that dragonish monster would stumble on his spell and turn someone into a frog.
The thought humored him, and he cackled quietly to himself from his makeshift room.
The sun was high again, and he was only a part of the way through. His spells required a lot of his magic to be woven into them, and while it was much much faster than what he’d heard was the usual, it was still difficult to make.
Weaving the blue strings from his sockets, to his fingers, around his fingertips, and into the shapes he needed. It was monotonous, and boring by all accounts, but with every strand there was a new flow of power. A new pump of adrenaline into Error’s soul as he recognized his creation becoming more potent. Intent, intent, intent, every loop and knot was filled to the brim with it. His frustration sat at the core. Much more volatile and destructive than his usual intent, but it would serve him well if he wanted this plan to go well. Around it was his determination. The strings woven in with a sense of stubbornness which refused to let go, like a snake swallowing its prey whole. This would compress the first layer into a proper state. Let it coil and coil and coil until it burst. It’d be big, and loud, and send out that message he so desperately needed to be heard by the king.
Skipping the second round would probably hurt him in the long run, but… That knight had said he’d have to kill those people if he showed his face in round two. So, he’d just appear in round three instead, and make up for missing the second one. A final act, of sorts.
He’d have to be at this all day to make the time crunch. The orb was hardly as big as his palm, not nearly big enough. Though, he had wasted time making the shelter and finding food. He’d just have to skip a couple meals to make up for it. He didn’t really need to eat that much anyways, he’d known that for years. He just tried to make an effort when he smelled something tasty.
He knew he could manage.
It was late in the night when Error finally started on the outer layers. Those which would be filled with his patience, so that the potent insides would not be sensed as he moved with it among the many magic users.
The town had begun to line the streets with torches and party as the stars arrived. No doubt celebrating those who would be at the third and final round tomorrow. The ones who would be competing to become the new Royal Mage.
To Error? Every single moment down there was dedicated to him. They just didn’t know it yet.
.
.
.
The morning came, and Error only had a few more layers.
By the time the sun was almost in the center of the sky above, he had finished it, and carefully tucked it into his backpack. He unraveled the strings and carefully wrapped them, shaping them, changing them into a thin net with long ends. This was shoved into his jacket sleeve, the ends clutched tight in his hand.
It took him hardly any time at all to get to the arena, and he was early.
Good.
He settled himself up in the stands, as close to the stage as he could get. Many people seemed to be staying outside the arena, sticking to the streets, but there was still enough of a crowd in the bleachers that Error had to be careful as he worked his way along the edges. He needed to be closer. Closer…
There.
He stood at the railing behind the stage.
From here, he could see the line to the left, and he could see the people who had finished lingering on the other side. None of them spoke to each other, only standing about, icily, waiting for the rest to finish so they’d know which of them was chosen, and who was not. Error had to imagine that these folks were just as lame and boring as the seniors from his old academy. No fun at all.
He waited, so, so patiently, for the next few people. The last few.
Though he couldn’t see the spells themselves, he could certainly feel the pressure coming off of them. The control that they’d need to balance it. How much it might’ve drained their energy to do it just once. He was attuned to that sort of thing, he had to be.
His assessment was that all of these last few folks weren’t bad, but they were no match for Error’s raw talent.
Each spell cast seemed to tick away at Error’s patience, until it finally happened. The last mage went on-stage. It seemed there had been 15 of them.
He’d have to make 16, then.
It felt like a blur as he jumped the rails and let his strings carry him across the open space, much to the shock of the few who had been watching the competitors from around him. The blue lines snatched at the wooden supports of the stage, and he swung right over top, landing a bit messily in the center of the stage.
He didn’t have time to look at everything. All he knew was the crowd was much larger than last time, that there was a shout of ‘Hey!’’ from somewhere to his left, and that the box across from the stage now held only three people. Monsters. One Error recognized, the knight in shadows who’d spoken to him. The other two he didn’t know, but he had to assume the one in the middle, tall and imposing, and dark, with an eyelight the same colors as the tapestries, was the King he was looking to impress. That was all he needed to know.
“M’lord, my name is Error!” He called out across the sand, and in one motion he shrugged the bag off his shoulders and used his strings to tug the orb out of its canvas body. “I want to prove that I’m more capable than any of the adults who just went before me! I could be your mage!” He would be the mage.
The orb sat cradled in Error’s hand for only the briefest moment, before it was inside the little net he’d made. He swung it in circles. Again. Again. Again.
He had to be fast. He had to do this quick.
Error spent one last moment, extending his reach through his strings, muttering words and igniting an intangible spark.
For a brief moment, he watched as the King seemed to ease forward. A hand now raised, seemingly calling off his knights, who had been almost in motion.
He released the orb directly upwards, momentum carrying it up.
Up.
Up.
Into the blue sky. Practically into the sun.
Error watched it rise above him.
Only.
“Shit.”
His calculations must’ve been off. He must’ve added a layer too many, or maybe he released it a swing too soon. But he could tell that it wouldn’t clear the top of the arena.
Maybe if he had a few more seconds he could’ve used strings to boost it. He could’ve sent a magic gust to lift it further.
Not the case.
He watched as the orb detonated, just like it was supposed to.
The wave moved horizontally through the air, and swept across the air above the arena so quickly that it sucked the sand from the top layer and threw it against the tall walls. Error’s footing slipped, and he stumbled to his knees on the stage as the wind whipped and tugged the heavy curtains into the air current as well.
It was an almost invisible force, Error had to imagine anyone without a solid grasp of magic would entirely miss it as it spread out.
He winced as it finally reached the edges of the arena, where he had just barely managed to fall short of clearing.
As the magic passed over the stone and mortar, he saw as it fell. Not in chunks, but crumbled like dust into fine particles. The upper half of every arch at the top of the grand amphitheatre, turned pitch black, then wasted away.
He hadn’t meant for it to come in contact with anything. It wasn’t supposed to do anything but harmlessly wave over everyone’s heads. As a show of his strength. That was all.
Error could only think back to when this had happened before. When he’d accidentally exploded Geno’s favorite mug while metering the strength of his strings. When he’d broken the wheel of a carriage passing through the woods with a wayward slingshot blast. When he’d broken all ten of the large windows in the lecture hall of the academy when he failed to complete a spell the way it was written. When he’d done it too well.
As he rose to his feet, he half expected the nagging voice of his older brother to be there, chastising him for not being more careful, before taking him home and making him dinner.
It wasn’t that, though.
He watched out across the sand. The king had his head tilted only slightly, looking up at Error’s lofty mistake. At the clean cut where stone now met unbothered air. His knight, the one in all black, was leaned ever so slightly towards him. They must’ve been speaking. Or, at least, the knight was.
About Error, he had no doubt.
He stayed in place, watching, swaying a bit with the residual force of his own spell lingering in his fingertips. Every instinct which told him to run and to hide were smothered and stamped out by the ligering fact that he had nowhere to go. Without his brothers, there was no one to help him. He knew it.
Even in front of this crowd. These mages. This King and his knights. He couldn’t bring himself to move offstage. Some part of him, deep down, childishly wanted the King to announce that he was impressed. To parade him offstage and let him experience what Geno had. Let him know why Geno left.
The King’s single eyelight swam back over to look at Error in the silence.
Error felt like the world had stopped.
It hadn’t.
There was a clattering of armor and rustling of fabric, suddenly loud in his ears, and he had no time to react as everything came rushing in all at once.
Hands. Heavy, gloved hands. Two sets, two hands each wrapped one of his upper arms, and immediately lifted him off the ground. Into the air.
Pain flooded into his bones from his soul, like twin lightning strikes, trying to singe the bone and the magic in its core. The pressure wasn’t much, his mind knew that, but his body usually didn’t listen to him. He tried desperately to hold it in. The rampant part of his magic that had been hurting him since he could remember. That made it hard to touch anyone. To shake hands. To hug his brothers.
“Let go!” He pleaded, though he wasn’t sure if his voice made any sense. Fresh always told him they couldn’t tell what he was saying when his voice got too bad.
More pain. He kicked his legs at the open air, and tried to muster control over his strings, just for a moment, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t focus.
And all at once it stopped.
Error’s feet were on the ground again, though that promptly became his knees again as he swayed and wavered in the sudden aftermath of his active magic dying down. Receding back into his soul. Because it didn’t need to ‘protect’ him anymore.
He spotted then, as his vision returned to something aside from the gloves or the sky, that the King was no longer in his throne. In fact, there was a heavy, encompassing, magical weight behind him now. Somewhere very, very close-by.
He took a deep breath, grounding himself.
“We are taking a recess.” Announced a booming voice. Very nearby. It was deep, and felt almost the same as the projection spell from two days prior. Then, more quietly, “You will leave the boy to me. Go ensure no one was injured, then manage the crowd. I’ll make my choice tomorrow at sunrise.”
The second bit felt quieter, an edge to the tone that Error didn’t quite like. Considering he must be the boy in question.
It was a moment, a few muddled ‘Yes, my king’ s, before Error found a pair of boots stepping before him. His head swam as he looked upwards.
The King, he figured that had to be him, was dark. Very dark. Like a living, dripping, shadow. Magic seemed to be all he was made of, an aura radiating from him. Dripping off his back into long slimy worms, twitching as they sat near the ground. He wore a fancy cape, too. One with huge gold clasps on his shoulders, one was shaped like the moon.
Error looked to his face last. In hindsight, something that could’ve been very, very bad. He was met with a dripping face. Skeletal. The place where his right socket should’ve sat was covered in that dark substance. The other hollow, with that bright cyan orb staring right back at him.
“Can you stand?” His voice came easily, and Error braced himself.
Could he?
He had to, he didn’t want to be touched again.
Error took another breath, and managed to rise silently to his feet.
“Good,” the King said once he was standing, “Follow me.”
It was an order he didn’t dare refuse.
.
.
.
Error found himself in an odd position.
He’d been given time to sit and recover from his magic’s outlash, and now he was sat in a room beneath the bleachers of the arena alongside the King and that knight he’d met before. The other one was guarding the door, he thought.
It’d been silent for a while, and it was almost expected when the silence was finally broken.
“You said your name is Error, correct?” The King asked, and Error gave a nod of yes. He forced himself to meet the King’s gaze.
“Dust says that you’re only 12, and our people disqualified you in the first round. Is that right?”
Error nodded again.
“And Dust even explained to you why you were disqualified?”
Another nod. It seemed he’d at least made an impression on the knight. Dust.
The King tilted his head ever so slightly to the side, eyelight holding Error’s tightly.
“Then, I’ll ask, what brought you to think this was a good choice? To try and become Royal Mage above any cost it might bring?” The king asked, and Error was surprised to find it was a shockingly gentle tone. “Your home, your family, your life. You are so young, why put it all on the line like this?”
Oh.
It was almost funny. Was this whole thing because the king was some sort of charitycase? So disillusioned by his perfect life that he couldn’t even think of the hardships any random kid could go through? He almost grinned at that, barely keeping his mouth from twitching in a mix of frustration and humor.
“I wanted to prove myself,” He muttered, “And besides, becoming the Royal Mage would be great.”
He waited, waited for the King to inhale, to say something, before,
“I’m an orphan.” He spat, finally. “Family abandoned me, house is left behind, expelled from school. I don’t want to keep wandering.”
It was basically the truth. This was his big break. His one last chance before he became a hated little vagabond. Maybe even a criminal. Maybe he’d have to go on the run for the rest of his life, live as a nomad. Join a caravan. Those people got stopped a lot though, kingdoms didn’t like them. He’d probably explode some city’s bakery by mistake and get put in jail for-
“Wait!” Error suddenly exclaimed, breaking free of his thoughts, “Am I in trouble? Am I going to jail??” He asked then.
His worries slammed to a grinding halt and he stared wide-eyed at the two before him. Geno had always told him not to go making his big stuff near town, because if the guard caught him he wouldn’t be able to bail him out. He’d end up in jail. Of course, it’d never happened back then because he was always fast enough. Always smart enough to get out of dodge when he broke something or made poor decisions. Here? Here he hadn’t run when he had the chance.
The King stared at him, his one eyelight nearly mirroring Error’s in surprise at the question.
“I mean,” he started, “You’re young. If I wont let you work for me, I wouldn’t dare put you in prison either.” The King stated, “Though, you did do quite a bit of damage to the theatre.”
Error watched him break eye contact finally and look over his shoulder to the Knight stood there. He’d been silently watching Error too.
When he had no insight, The king seemed to heave a sigh, and the shadowy extra limbs which draped around him twitched.
“You’re sure you have no family? No home?” the King asked him again, and Error nodded.
The king muttered something under his breath, and shot the Knight another look. The knight shrugged.
“I… Will not employ you. Though, I do see talent in you, Error.” the King said carefully, a bit slower in his words than he had been up until now. Almost… unsure. “I will, however, extend to you the title so that you may conduct…” He waved a hand before himself, as though searching for a word, “ You may conduct independent research. If you accept, of course.”
“You would be free to resend your acceptance at any moment, no strings attached, and may take any work you complete along with you, and any pay you receive would be given to you after your 16th birthday, if you stay that long.” He added, “I’ll have to rewrite the contract, but-”
“I accept!”
Error couldn’t help himself. He was so excited he could puke. The last thing he’d expected was to pull this off. This shitshow of a scheme actually got him the job? He could scream. He could jump up and down for joy. He didn’t, he sat eagerly and tense in his seat instead, but he could’ve.
The King seemed to hesitate, for a few breaths, before relaxing. He stood, and offered a hand out slowly to Error.
Error stood too, grinning. He could manage this one. He could do it.
It was brief, but he grasped the King’s hand and shook it firmly.
“Dust, will you help Error locate his belongings, and escort him to wherever he is staying tonight? I’ll send Cross to swap with you a bit later. We’ll reconvene in the morning just before sunrise.”
#new age au#Gods these guys are so so silly to me#I wanted this to be Error's perspective mostly but also. I love the others dearly#I need y'all to know that Dust and Nightmare 100% talked about Error's situation after Night offered the deal and they agreed it was#probably the best call for Error's sake if nothing else. But like. What poor timing for such a strong orphan to come out of nowhere#and immediately mess up Night's new rule lmao.#Also idk if I lost steam into the 2nd half so I apologize if that's not as tasty but like... I had a lot going on and I knew if I stopped#it would never get finished ever haha-#Let's see what other thoughts i had...#Definitely need to write Error first arriving and feeling the whimsy of meeting Geno and getting to rant to Nightmare about his newest craz#idea and getting his own courtyard to try things out and all that jazz#And also experiencing Ccino panic at the sight of a young child because ??? Night ur better than that what happened??? And subconsciously#pick up on the brotherly energy they have towards eachother.#And to let Error set boundaries about his tower#who can come in and who can't and how to call for him (use strings outside like a door-knocker basically) and just! Watch him adjust and#thrive!!!!#anyways yeah. Dust definitely becomes the one Error speaks to the most often besides Nightmare. And Nightmare is busy so he mainly just#checks in on him to listen to his new ideas and make sure he's still alive#so there's not a whole lot of interaction aside from Night being a positive and encouraging force to Error's magic practice (maybe they#train on occassion too?)#And then. Y'know. Nightmare shrinks and is just a lil goofy nerd and loves listening to Error and thinks he's super duper cool.#(OH! And Error turns 13 like. a few days into his emplyment#so he's 14 when Night becomes 13 again-)#okay good night everyone!!
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@desperuntion | plotted starter.
"Did he enjoy you, Daniel?" Armand asks, turning his head to the approaching figure in the blue glow of the television sets. He's muted the volume of two warring sets of dialogue to focus on his lover, newly awoken, and he's even curled his legs up beneath him on the couch to suggest that Daniel claim the emptied space beside him.
Did he enjoy you? Louis, he means. Daniel had stayed out until after sunrise, and so Armand had not been able to see him off to sleep when he came home from his rendezvous. (With Armand's one-time companion. They're all being very modern about the mutually felt interest. That's what Daniel had called it. 'Very modern.' Armand thinks the understanding seems more like that of the ancients.) But the glass of water and bottle of ibuprofen on Daniel's nightstand were the quiet vestiges of Armand's care, even after the coming of the day had relegated him to his coffin. And late to bed, late to rise, as it followed; Daniel had not emerged from his room until well after nightfall, before which time Armand readily occupied himself with his screens. Now, however, he's eager to exchange the TVs for Daniel's conversation.
He might have asked if Daniel had enjoyed himself, but knows that this degrading alternative will excite him. And Armand has to play along, show his approval of Daniel's extracurricular engagement; he can feel a quiet nervousness radiating from him the second he enters the room, even without peering into his mind. Perhaps he frets that in the hours apart Armand had changed his mind and revoked his permission? He must be assured that this is not the case — that even the giving of permission was in some way theatrical, unreal. There is precious little Armand would not allow Daniel, really.
"Come, sit. Regale me."
#haha about to have a fun chill conversation with my beloved human companion i sure hope he doesn't tell me anything that would enrage me!#hope he didn't cross any very obvious and generously limited boundaries that i've set for him that might make me feel like punishing him :)#i figured concocting a reason for this to not happen RIGHT when daniel gets home was kindest to him#to give daniel a minute to breathe. and to choose to try to lie to armand lmao#so daniel gets to have this confrontation on one extra day of sleep. godspeed son#desperuntion#(armand) v; devil's minion
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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in 2024 pining is OUT. we are verbalizing our desires! we are making moves! we are communicating clearly!
#one time my friend was like ''i feel like you get rejected a lot''#BECAUSE IM SO BRAVE.#also im literally in a happy relationship now. by being clear and direct and making the move#i spent MONTHS being like do they like me or not#but literally the only way to know for sure was ask.#also even if the person says no. then your feelings are out there and given tje acknowledgement they deserve#you can set boundaries#you can have a clear rejection to help you move on
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Yknow I think one of the saddest parts about Malorn being a professor is that his social circle in particular must have taken a hit. Idk if he had any homies before his promotion but with that Teacher and Student relationship having to be almost strictly professional, I can't imagine it would be smiled upon to have Malorn acting buddy buddy with some of his peers anymore. And like that's really sad that one of the many aspects of his childhood is essentially taken from him because he's in this awkward spot of mentally, physically, and emotionally at par with his students but has to be different than that in order to be their teacher
Like imagine how lonely that is bro. He can't be a kid with his students anymore but he's not an adult that can necessarily relate to other adults either so he's just in this separate space all by himself because there are no others like him (except The Wizard who has at least some similarities)
Thinking about how Malorn's former friends just slowly drifting away from him not because they hate him, but because they have to regard him as a teacher FIRST above all else is super sad and once again I'm crying for Malorn in the evening
#im sure its not as severe as i make it sound LOL#like im sure malorn still has some moments with the people he cares about#and who knows??? maybe people give him a pass with being youthful with his friends and other students#but its got to be at least a little awkward imo#malorn has to be someone else in a certain setting. in his class or tutoring he cant be just a friend or a classmate#in order to be a good teacher he needs to be exactly that. a teacher#like theres a reason why a lot of them say ''im not here to be your friend''#and imagine how that hurts malorn on the inside to say that to people his own age. to people who actually were his friends#like on days off sure maybe!!! graduated students sure!! but to a certain extent#malorns position as a professor unfortunately has to come first at leats in terms of his students-#-so that means maintaining that mature tutor aura at all times. not just when its appropriate#because it could be confusing and muddle boundaries if he just switches his teacher personality on and off just whenever#im crying for him. i always am.#malorn ashthorn i love you a lot#stay fresh. stay crispy.#wizard101#w101#wiz101#malorn ashthorn
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anyways being a mean girl on the internet at a grown age in a space where the thing we’re celebrating is so meaningful and lovely is such a bad take
#entitlement on the internet over nothing is crazy#the way this entire fandom space changed so drastically when attitudes changed so drastically is wild#i love bts and you know what? that fondness can get lost in the sauce because of all the bad vibes around here lately#things that aren’t competition: enjoyment of context. friendship. artistry. fostering community.#i’m gonna start setting Hard boundaries to enjoy myself in this space again#because nothing gets to overshadow the love i have for these boys#but i rly want some of y’all to reflect on maybe why like half the people you know are leaving without a word#and sure maybe making content feels fruitless and contrinbutes#but also? the environment has become a lot less kind and welcoming#and i fear if i had just made this blog recently compared to when i did join. i wouldn’t last#it’s so so so easy to be kind and open and that’s just … not the energy anymore#and i want to get that energy back#because we’re all here for the same reason so why be anything But kind and welcoming and generous#u kno#.txt
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Kaeya deffo loves possessive partners, send tweet-
#hc; kaeya#//P sure I wrote smth like this before; but can't find it kjdxngdgh#//But ye#//Genuinely gets weak-kneed for real possessive partners; be it the kind who scare off ppl getting a lil TOO close to him#//Or the kind to mark him up/give him gifts to wear to show he's theirs#//It's like crack cocaine to him jknfkfth#//He draws the line at ppl getting hurt on his account (if they didn't mean any harm/show actual interest in him)#//But he won't actually make any moves to stop any fights if he genuinely thinks it's called for otherwise#//Before getting together with his partner; he deffo has his moments of deliberately setting off their jealousy/possessiveness#//Juuust bc he loves to see it. But also bc he genuinely can't believed he's cared abt that much#//In a relationship; he deffo reins himself back a LOT#//Has no problems with their possessiveness carrying over into their relationship#//Again; as long as it doesn't border on irrational to the extent of his other loved ones/innocent ppl getting hurt; he's cool with it#//It's just that feeling of his partner being obsessed with him with ABSOLUTE certainty he's the only one in their eyes that gets him#//It's not soft and pure; so he doesn't balk at it as much as he would typical tender and sweet love#//It's deffo overwhelming and would scare him at first; but seeing how serious they are would make him cave SO fast#//In an ideal world; he gets a lover with that duality down PAT#//Person who is genuinely a sweetheart that treats him right; with a possessive streak a mile wide#//Kae's more than confident he can handle them if he needs to draw attention to them crossing any lines#//And would likewise trust them to back off when he needs them too#//Bc he would deffo have the intention to reward them for following through with either boundary scenario#//Oke; back to writings#//Another reason why he is so accepting/welcoming of possessive partners is bc he himself V possessive of his beloved#//But HELLA holds back#//Would 100% match energy/possessiveness the INSTANT he's aware of it#//Albeit with slightly different methods to go about showing it; he DOES have a reputation to maintain after all
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me, about vox: yeah, he can easily respect boundaries, he just needs to be told pretty explicitly. but he's very good for it, he takes no like a champ honestly
also me: vox has no boundaries because he doesn't think he's allowed to set any ever
#/ ooc.#/ headcanons tbt.#/ mobile.#hes a mess#if he sets a boundary people will hate him#but if you set a boundary he will sagely nod and write it down to make sure he doesnt forget#he will cherish u
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When proofreading the journal (on friday night) i commented on one slightly sexist and outdated term to be replaced by a neutral and more inclusive term. I've been having nightmares because of this
#like I'm sure no one is even gonna read my comments at all#i usually tend to get ignored#but in my mind my colleague/superior/ the journalist who wrote that article is now considering me his arch enemy#and i will be branded as the difficult female newbie who's incompetent but has the audacity to comment on his word choice#because this is journalism and the texts need to be a bit provocative but actually this term is obviously in no way negatively connotated#and he gets to choose the words for the texts he writes and i should shut my stupid mouth#and leave him alone#and obviously everyone is going to agree with him because who the fuck cares about gender equality or inclusive language#i simply have no idea how this business works and all the urologists will hate us if the texts are more carefully formulated#this has been on my mind since friday night so much that i was so close to go online again and delete the comment#but i keep thinking i shouldn't let my fear of being branded as difficult and petty prevent me from giving my opinion on this?#because it Is bothering me quite a bit and i simply made a suggestion. if he decides to call me out for it i can explain#my reasoning and tell him to ignore it of he doesn't like it. it's not my journal after all so i merely make suggestions#ugh i hate work#i also considered working another 2 hours today so tomorrow will go more smoothly but i don't wanna work on the weekend#i should set boundaries where i can or else I'll end up burned out again just like it was with university#i need to stop giving a fuck about work anyway#i don't get paid enough to care lol#void screams
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Hey trans girl, here's a little reminder that comptop can also be enforced by other transfems, and to make sure you're communicating with them about your needs, and making sure they care about you and your comfort and pleasure too okay?
#i am in a better place now luckily#and obviously lots of transfems have set boundaries and don't want to dom or top and that is fine#just make sure you're being with people who respect your body and pleasure okay? and make sure you let it be known
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extremely grateful for the ability to filter posts on this website. genuinely. such a crucial feature to preserving one's sanity
#today reminded me how scared i am of fire#how i unscrewed all the restrictors on the windows in my student rooms and practised climbing out#because I couldn't sleep due to anxiety attacks about dying in a fire#this isn't my main panic trigger these days but it sure does still exist. it turns out.#anyway. intense powerful protest. hope it makes a difference. can't look at a single post more about it#glad this website (unlike bluesky and instagram) lets me set that boundary
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*burger king foot lettuce voice* “top ten worst realizations about the wheeler family. number ten: it’s actually not that Mike only smiles in pictures with Will because we have his yearbook photo where he’s smiling AND the wheeler family photo where he’s smiling, neither of which had Will present- it’s actually that he only smiles in photos that AREN’T taken by Karen.”
#stranger things#st analysis#byler#Mike wheeler analysis#wheeler family#I’m sorry to break the illusion I’m sure Will makes mike feel mroe at ease in photos but like#he DOES smile in photos without Will… but has never smiled in a photo taken by Karen.. it’s because of how we see Karen trample over his#boundaries including when taking photos and how mike is visibly uncomfortable and attempting 2 set boundsries but Karen just ignores it#god I gotta finish that analysis that Freud would love rip
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Yingxing is absolutely the person Jing Yuan considers his first love, and Dan Feng is the one he fell harder for after getting to know him. But the person he absolutely considers his biggest 'What if' is Igor.
#hc; jing yuan#//He knows very well each and every one of them were someone he could never have; and for a variety of reasons at that#//He knew this well; but still cared about them so strongly#//His love was never about being reciprocated anyways; he just wanted to see them happy & would have loved the chance to make them so#//He wasn't even heartbroken when DF and YX seemed to have gotten together; he was actually so happy#//The only times he actively tried to make a move was once on DF before his punishment was to be carried out#//Which had mostly been desperation & grief prompting him; wanting one final 'happy' memory w him & to try and comfort him any way he could#//Looking back; he's thankful DF hadn't accepted him then. It just wasn't RIGHT#//And the second in trying to get Igor to stay on the Luofu with him; bc he feared he'd never see him again if he left#//That they could surely find a way to help his homeworld together if he did; they could keep trying to sway the Xianzhou to intervene#//That one really had stung to get rejected; but he'd taken it with grace in the moment#//Then bawled his eyes out the moment he had absolute privacy#//He keeps their picture with him always; tucked away right in his armour#//Seeing Luka absolutely wounded in him ways even he couldn't understand while at the same time bringing him such joy#//Almost wanted to treat Luka the way he does YQ; but he heavily refrained. It was easier to do than what seeing DH did to him#//Bc DH absolutely dredged up old feelings for DF; and in ways anybody; regardless if they Knew him or not; could pick that out#//He really had to work to suppress them when the man didn't want to be seen the same; but was DEFFO glad DH set that boundary#//He didn't know what he would have done if he hadn't; knew for facts it would NOT have been fair to DH at ALL. Resolved to ignore what#feelings he got for him. But it still didn't stop JY's heart from being moved by DH himself the more they'd get to know each other#//JY is an absolute hopeless romantic; he sometimes wonders if JL was right in saying his heart was much too soft sometimes
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would it be crazy to say that i think playing a ttrpg type game based in the redactedverse would be like so much fun actually 🫣
don't ask me what system or how to adapt it to work because i don't have the technical brain for that, i just know that the worldbuilding and the magic system and everything is so interesting and well thought out and the idea of making and roleplaying ocs in this universe with other fans seems like it would be sooo much fun can you tell i'm having withdrawals from my dnd group not playing for months and so i'm projecting it onto my other interests 🫠
#argent rambles#redactedverse#redacted audio#i see a creative fantasy setting with lots of lore and i want to tell a story in it#collaborative storytelling in the way of ttrpg is just one of those ways i want to do it#but there are other ways too...#like hypothetically have i thought up an idea for a audio series playing an original speaker and their bespoke listener in the redactedverse#that would take place in a different cornerstone city so as not to crossover w the actual canon#but would use the worldbuilding and lore of the redactedverse? yeah hypothetically maybe i have#but lets be honest there are a myriad of things holding that idea back#highest on that list being how to make sure it wouldn't seem like stealing#like even making explicitly clear that it was fan content and not affiliated w actual canon#i would be terrified of overstepping boundaries#and also idk how to write a one sided audio roleplay script in the first place lol#all of this to say i love this fictional universe erik has created and it's inspired me with stories i'd love to tell in it as well
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