#and i fear if i had just made this blog recently compared to when i did join. i wouldn’t last

[jinstronaut]

anyways being a mean girl on the internet at a grown age in a space where the thing we’re celebrating is so meaningful and lovely is such a bad take

[cybercl0ne]

not sure if u do requests but I found ur blog recently and have been OBSESSED. I was thinking if you could do an arrange marriage fic for aizawa. I would absolutely DIE if u did. It can be any AU i wont mind since whatever u write will be amazing! I know it ����💗💗

Will do! I love you so much. I wrote this trying to best fit my other pieces of work, so I hope you like it and I'm sorry I took so long to reply but I'm here now *plays graceful music*

Summary: Your father sells you to a man that knows you from UA.

F/M (she/her)

A/N at the bottom!!!!

TW: Abuse, mentions of Abuse, Fathers a massive dick (again), massive Angst, 18+, slow burn, porn with plot, murder, Aizawa is Yandere

You tried to keep your head down. You wanted to speak. You felt the words you wanted to say bubbling up in your throat, desperately trying to simmer.

"Don't disappoint me Y/n." You fathers booming voice bowelled. His intense aura making you feel smaller than you already were compared to him.

"Yes father." You spoke, still trying to maintain a put together face. You were slightly confused as to what was going on but would never voice it as you learned where talking out of line got you. Your mind hissed at the memories of the endless nights of torture your father would put you through just so you would never talk 'out of place' again.

Unimpressed your father scoffed, watching as the car rolled to a sudden stop. He let himself out, leaving you to bear the responsibility of fear. His assistant opened the door, his heart sharing the same hole as yours. "Good luck miss." He whispered, cheering you on knowing that this tiny act of kindness could get him killed. You gave him a warm smile innocent but filled with bloodshed, wanting to be in his shoes, even as a assistant for a man like your father. At least he could escape. At least he wasn't wasted down by the overbearing responsibilities you bared.

His shoes were different from the feet you walked with. You quickly and quietly made way to catch up with your father who still ignored your existence for as long as possible. He stepped through the sleek sophisticated door, you behind his large frame.

Life has never been fair to you or your family. When you were born your mother fell ill causing her to be hidden from the outside world. Sometimes when you’d have nightmares you’d curl into the warmth of her bony chest, watching as her warm arms wrapped around you. She’d reassure you countless times, kissing your temple. But now those days were gone. You no longer could run into your mom's touch, watch her smile glow up the room full of iv drips and medicine.

"This is Y/n. Shes the one that you will be betrothed." Your fathers familiar booming voice declared. You stood shell shocked, not wanting to believe what your eyes had soaked in. "N-no...H-he didn't say that." You blinked a few times to make sure you weren't stuck in some messed up nightmare but found you were very awake.

Your father nudged you as he placed his hands on your shoulders and activated his quirk, burning into the cloth of your clothes. You wasted no time, bowing before the strange man. "She might be a little untamed but I'm sure you'll figure it out." He said, throwing you at the man that stood before you.

Your face was nothing but mortified as you saw your father walking out of the room, still sharing the same uninterested look at you as when you were born. "F-father?" You scampered towards him, scraping yourself and ignoring the man that you fell into. He shared nothing but a simple scoff.

You blanked as your world flipped on its side. You saw your father looming over you as if he had put something rotten in his mouth. The glint that he shared between you sent your body into hives and shivers.

"I am not your father. Don't call me that." "If it were up to me, I would've never had you." "I would've sold you off to some man any day, but it appeared he was the only buyer."

"So, play nice now."

As soon as he spoke your body reacted with the only reaction it could. You hauled forward, your body rejecting everything. As you threw up all over the poor man's floor you noticed the sleek black shoes your father always wore disappear behind the black door.

You desperately reached for his long-gone presence. tears and snot uncontrollably free falling in front of you. "P-please father!"

"Don't leave me! Don't leave me behind! I-I'll be good!" Your heart wrenching words dissipated into thin air as it would never reach your targeted audience. The only man in the room however rushed to your side, immediately comforting you.

You watched as the world went black.

You woke up with a heavy migraine, your brain trying to forget the part where your father basically admits to hating you at birth. You hold your stomach as you try to muster an emotion other than grief and freedom mixed but you find yourself unable.

You look around realizing that your environment was completely different from what you knew. The spacious room overwhelmed you and the man that laid across from you spoke danger. You quickly huddled up into your legs as the strange man stirred in his sleep, transitioning to a woke state. "W-where am I?" You spoke, your voice faint and hoarse. You cringe at how little words fall from your mouth. "My house." The man utters.

You decide to take a good look at him, taking in his gruffy patch under his chin, his eyebags and his ragged black hair.

"Shota? -"

Both of your faces light up upon remembering a distant name from the past.

"Hi y/n." He breathes a breath of relief. You grabbed him immediately, embracing him tightly as he stood stunned, unsure of weather to hug you back and risk never letting you go.

"I thought I'd never see you again." Aizawa Whispered softly afraid you might float away from how light you felt in his arms. You let go, examining his face once more, fighting the urge to pepper it with soft kisses.

"Oh Aizawa..." "I-I'm so sorry..." You stuttered. You felt immense guilt as he talked his worry of you onto you.

"I had to leave UA. I wanted to be like you, a teacher but my father..." You choked, not sure if you can even call him a proper father. All he ever knew was pain.

"Don't worry. You'll be ok now." He reassured, lightly stroking your head. You whimpered into his chest, carving small circles.

For the first time in a long time you could feel yourself breathe. It was like you no longer had to cover your mouth, or act like you were stepping on pins and needles. You were free.

——*a few months later*——

You thought you’d hate the idea of marriage. Being tied down to a lover, or whoever your father would put you with in the end. But Aizawa was determined to erase any mark that monster had placed on you, and that started with the roots itself.

Since Aizawa was a pro hero he was fully aware he could never kill the villains he pursued. But the more Aizawa held you at night and watched you wriggle and mewl in your sleep made the reasonable thoughts broil. He knew he just had to do something. He stepped downstairs at after finalizing his plan, seeing you downstairs preparing him another beautiful breakfast that he felt a little bad that he wasn’t gonna eat. But there would be many great meals that he’d enjoy with you after he got rid of the lingering problem.

You looked so peaceful with your hair tied up and idling in one of his t shirts, never failing to look like a supernova even in the groggy mornings. He couldn’t resist and had to feel you from behind if even to just get the smell of you in his mind. “Hey baby” Aizawa’s groggy and rasped voice croaked. You startled, jumped as he wrapped his arms around your waist, rocking you side to side to let you know it was him.

“Hey honey. You ready to eat?” You asked, spatula in your hand but your attention all on him. He loved the way you’d fill his stomach with butterflies like he was a teenager again when you looked up at him with trust.

“No sorry sweets, I’ll pass but I’ll be back to eat later.” He didn’t fail to miss how you deflated a bit but perked back up after he hugged you tighter you perked back up.

“Well alright. Just be back in time for lunch or dinner.” You nagged like a wife. You caught yourself on the words, visibly flashing a hand to your mouth. He laughed, thinking about how little you changed through the years, even through high school you were shy and reserved but around him you loosened up unintentionally. It made him feel like he had done right. He’d been told by many peers and other of his students that he was scary, but deep down Aizawa cared, just was very used to acting like he doesn’t.

He planted a wet kiss on your face, exiting the warm feel of your embrace, looking back at you one last time for a fond memory until he gets back from doing a little “errand”.

He watched from afar at his victim. He watched as he left in his black car that had been in his rear view. Aizawa watched as the tall buff man exited the car and into his esteemed home with no car in the world. He looked as if he had no concern. It made Aizawa want to erase him even more. Aizawa followed close behind posing as a pro hero just put on patrol. He banged on the tall door that assisted the tall lowly man.

The door shot open as his tall stature sank to the front door. “What?” His booming voice rang. Aizawa could tell why this voice hurt and scared you so much but Aizawa was determined to make sure you never wind ear of a melody as broken as his. The man was visibly puzzled when he saw no one was standing at his doorstep. Shrugging it off and grumbling back inside his domain. Aizawa, already one step ahead, was inside his house without anyone or anything hearing/noticing. He promised the job would be clean and quick, all so he could have as much time with you as he wanted for the rest of both of your lives. He watched as the man sat in his office with a state of the art tablet, focused on whatever shady business he was indulging in. Aziawa made no effort to hide any longer revealing himself to the perpetrator that taunted the love of his life for so long under the radar. “What are you doing in here? Who let you in?!”

“Y’know you should do your research a little better.” Aizawa spoke, ignoring his past comment. Aizawa quickly and hastily poked the knife he placed at his knee to the grown man’s neck. And without second thought he slashed. He made sure the cut were clean and watched as blood splattered from his neck. He made little to no noise. Only choking on his gurgles of blood.

He quickly dipped out of the crime scene leaving nothing behind. He was aware that your father had ties and Allies, but with those allies were his enemies. Enemies that hated him with a diehard passion. Some of his Allies were backstabbers anyway, but your father was blinded by his power that he failed to even realize that you were what was keeping his business up. With you being there and as his weapon made him powerful but alone his quick could be quickly outmatched.

Aizawa shrugged, concluding that he’d fall down the ladder sooner or later but just decided to speed up the process. By now it was late and he knew that he probably had a worried wife at home waiting patiently for his arrival home. His heart fluttered, leaving behind the murderous acts where they belonged.

As soon as he stepped through the door he was happily greeted by you jumping at him wrapping your arms around him. “Where have you been?” You asked worried. You scanned his body for any marks of harm but when you found nothing you warmly hugged him again. “Sorry I’m so late honey.” He whispered into your head. He picked you up holding his lips to your face. You scrambled under him to put you down.

“Aizawa! Put me down you maniac!” You laughed, clutching onto him as he walked to your bedroom. “But I missed you so so much darling.” He teased, placing you gently on the bed to pepper your face with kisses. He towered over you showering you with deep love.

You both paused to look at each other, both lost in the way the other looked. He gently lowered into you, his eyes intoxicated with a potent that had you falling deep into his lips. You both share a loving kiss Aizawas hands not knowing if they should roam down your body. You grab his hand after breaking the kiss and bring it up to your left breast.

“It’s ok Aizawa.”

“I trust you.” You clearly spoke into his ear. You watched as his face shared a bright dusk of blush as he slowly allowed his hands to travel down every curve and slope of your body. You shivered under his touch, mewling and mumbling under him.

He found his way to back to your breast, playing and toying with the hard nipple that formed from his touch.

“So fucking beautiful.” He muttered. You tended up as the words registered to your ears. You noticed the bulge that grew in his pants as he kissed down your stomach, his eyes pleading for permission. You nodded as he pulled and teased at your already wet panties that now fled attention to the floor.

“You’re so fucking wet for me princess.” You hid your eyes as he played with your slick that was soaking his fingers as they played with your entrance.

“No, no, no sweetie, don’t look away. Be good and look at your man playing with your sweet cunt.”

You reluctantly opened your eyes to see his two fingers coying with your needy cunt. You watched as his fingers lodged their way inside of you. You quivered at the new feeling of something wriggling inside of you. “So damn tight for me baby.” He whispered as he fixated all his attention to you pussy. You wiggled and moaned as he stretched and prodded at your needy hole.

“p-please”

“what princess?” He stopped, looking at you. You lifted your leg to brush against his raging bulge. You felt it twitch against your touch and watched as Aizawa seethed with pleasure.

“Tell me what you want” He demanded.

“Y-you.”

Aizawa clicked his teeth, freeing his cock from his pants. You saw how it laid out on your stomach. You imagined how easy you’d tear from how big he was. You were completely new to this, and a little intimidated by the girth and length of his twitching cock.

He pumped his member testing and readying it at your entrance. “Don’t worry baby, it’ll fit.” He soothed playfully. You flushed at how he petted your stomach as he stabled himself inside you.

You both seared with how tight everything felt. You felt the world spin as pain and pleasure mixed beautifully. You greedy pussy pushed for more of Aizawa’s cock as he paused to let you breathe.

“You’re doing so well for me princess” he kissed your teary face. “Is it all the way in yet?” You whimpered. He lightly chuckled, and shook his head softly.

“we’re not even half way darling.” He spoke. You felt yourself stretching and clamping around him as he thrusted his way inside you. You felt how his cock crawled into your cervix and deep inside your womb. You felt the way your pussy throbbed for harder movements.

“P-please keep going.” You voiced.

At that moment Aizawa lost control and started pounding at your womb. You felt your ass shake as skin collided with one another. You watched the small bulge in your stomach disappear and reappear every time he rammed in and out. Soon you start to feel the sensation of your stomach coiling around him. “Aizawa i-I’m gonna-“

“don’t worry I’m going to cum to baby.” He grunted. You watched as your cunt slicked more and more as his thrust became deeper and stronger. You grasp onto his back, leaving your own special mark on him as you screamed and moaned his name.

“That’s right baby, my name is the only name you need to know.” He panted. You felt the coil in your stomach snap as you started spasming around him, coating his cock with your cum. Not too long after you Aizawa chases his own high, nearing his climax.

“g-gonna fill you up. Gonna breed you with my children baby.” He said as he thrusted.

Your mind started going blank as he kept pounding your soaked and overly sensitive pussy.

“Y-yes please fill me up w-with your lovely cum.” You panted as you both stared eachother in the eyes.

You felt his cock explode and coat your womb with his load. You felt how his cum traveled its way inside you, some of it overflowing out of your twitching womb.

The room was filled with moans and pants, the room smelling of fucked out sex and the feeling of hot bodies touching each other.

Aizawa laid against you for a moment before pulling out, gaining a whimper from you and how the empty pop of his cock leaving your pussy made you shiver. He placed you in his chest, you still feeling weak and your legs still shaking. “I love you y/n.” He said, breaking the silence. He planted a kiss on your head, when he heard no sounds or reply he glanced and saw how you were peacefully sleeping on his chest, bundled up and face beautifully resting.

The next morning you woke up and next to you, Aizawa resting peacefully, arms around your waist. You kissed his nose and watched it scrunch up as he moved in his sleep. You quietly giggled while trying to escape his grasp. You went to the bathroom to clean the sticky sensation from yesterdays ‘nightly activities’.

As you stepped out of the bathroom, clean and new you traveled back to the bedroom to throw your clothes away when Aizawa’s rustling made his presence.

“Where are you going honey?” He asked groggy with his eyes still closed.

“sorry to wake you baby.” You kissed his forehead, waking up from the sudden movement of his love trying to get out of his embrace too early.

“Come back to bed.” He whined. You indulged him, laying back into his needy embrace.

He rocked you and wrestled you around and soon you both were play fighting in the bed.

“Aizawa stop that!” You playfully cried out as he tickled you. “Stop? Stop what? Oh this?” He tickled again over you. You kissed his lips and you both fell into a deep make out session. When you both break the kiss Aizawa just takes a second to watch you. Look at the love of his life. “Y/n please marry me.” He spouts. Your eyes glow as he hugs you waiting for your reply.

“Really?” You stuttered.

“Of course, you’re the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. I’ve actually wanted to marry you since high school.” He admitted.

“Really?” You flushed, soon you two were having a conversation on how you both like each other in UA but never acted on the feeling. It was like you both were in high school again. Your heart felt fulfilled as you watched him ramble about how he was so into you and you never knew.

You cuddled up into him listening to him call you his wife.

A/N: hey y’all! Thanks to these two people who sent me a message! When I saw them I literally felt so fulfilled that I started on this last night. Sorry it took so long but it’s not done I still gotta do part 6 of Falling for a dead rose so see you then.🫡

[canidbld]

The Ethereal Unknowning of a Ghostly Hound

Trigger warnings: mentions of suicide and trauma

Word count: 1.6k

— An entry to Sol's November Writing Challange (aka @who-is-page)

I recently only came to understand the way I see myself and the way I see the world would fit under the definition of therianthropy only in March of this year.

It's currently November now, a good seven months spent on researching and introspection and trying to understand this label and identity within context to myself. I've read so many essays of others' personal experiences thanks to the grey muzzles from the 90's and to the archivists who collected their stories and the few academic papers and published books about therianthropy.

Right now I feel much more equipped than I did when I first awakened in March. Regardless that doesn't mean I still don't get confused and I still doubt my experiences and myself a lot especially when one of my kintypes is and was a ghostly spectral watch dog.

When I first awakened, I knew I was a canine, which was contrary to the common experience of researching your theriotype for months to years before understanding you are that animal. However I still put myself through that process because I actually did cycle between wolves to foxes to a bunch of other canids. I comfimed to domestic dog within a week. What was boiling under the surface, however, was another kintype that was extremely similar to my domestic dog theriotype but had a more otherworldly essence to it.

It's hard you see, being a primarily psychological therian. I don't have any memories or past lives to validate my experience and I'm a chronic overthinker by nature so it was hard enough to come to the realization that I was a dog but it was another thing entirely to process that I was more than just a dog.

Except, not really. It made entire sense when I rationalized it and looked back and cross-referenced my experience with other things it was just my nature of being a self-critic that made it so hard.

So then, why a ghost dog? And what did that mean, like, really? How could I be a supernatural dog when I have never experienced a supernatural thing in my life? Why was I something like a ghost dog when I don't have a spiritual bone in my body?

I like to think of myself as a grounded individual despite my anxiety, making me feel mentally disoriented and disconnected from reality at times. I thrive in the material reality.

At the time of awakening and after a grueling self critical and overthinking period (which never really stopped to be honest), I went from thinking I could be a potential hellhound to confirming being a black dog from folklore. Think Black Shuck and Church Grimm.

I mean, my entire identity as a canine itself (even if, according to my memories of this life, I was somewhat always a canine) originated from persistant traumatic events so questioning a hellhound kintype was just an amalgamation of all my habits and behaviors developed by trauma visualized into a dog. It was almost logical, really. You know, the imagery of a feral dog was very attractive to me when I felt so weak. But calling myself a hellhound didn't feel right, I had tried to do that via creating a hellhoundhearted blog (aka this one) and adopted the otherhearted label but when you are confused about a potential kintype and weather it's something you actually are then the next thing you do is research.

So I did. I tried very hard to look deep into the internet to hunt and dig up the most obscure articles and youtube videos about hellhounds to try and compare the way I felt about myself and realized that it was specifically the angry energy hellhounds exuded and how they were portrayed in certain myths and legends that I couldn't see myself as. Hellhounds were brave and strong despite their sinister mythos but I felt more cowardly and fearful. And black dogs were different from hellhounds, at least from my perspective. To me, hellhounds were violently angry. They were loyal for sure but they had a strength to them. They were fire red and burning screams. They were the fight response instead of the flight. Black dogs on the other hand had slightly more variety in its legends with some ghost dogs being neutral to benevolent. They were watchers. Observers. Inquisitive but also unpleasant and unwanted.

In my head, the amalgamation of my trauma was calmer. Quiter. Distant. Lonely. Tired. It had it's hot red fire moments for sure but my dissociation tendencies was pretty much how I coped the most with what I was going through.

So I came across the mythology of Black Shuck and all the other spectral canines that went under the same category and knew that this was what I meant. This was how I saw myself. A ghostly apparition on the moor, blink once and it dissappears at the slightest movement. Uncanny, unpredictable but not always hostile.

This black dog kintype was emphasized by reasons such as:

Feeling as if I was often looked over or like I wasn't even there, mainly referring to when other people would just ignore me or barely acknowledge my existence

Feeling entirely disconnected and dissociated from reality in general, which made everything feel so muted and dull that it was geniuenly hard to feel anything emotionally and physically

The hypervigilant feeling of always checking and being aware of my surroundings trying to make sure my environment was safe (I was super sensitive to noises like footsteps and knocking on doors from strangers)

These reasons were also solidified by the behaviors I would exhibit such as walking around the neighborhood between the times of 12am to 4am much like the tales of Padfoot who would stalk towns at night. I'd feel so alive and ethereal in those moments as if I was in some sort of stagnant limbo which I think now was just me dissociating (By the way, in retrospect, this was completely dangerous to do especially since I was trans and a minor in those times.)

But the biggest thing that all supernatural canines had in common was their association to death. That was one of the biggest reasons why I saw myself as one. My justification being that I felt like I was always on the verge of death due to my suicidal tendencies and attempts as a teen. I felt closer to death then ever. I wasn't a messenger of death persay, but I felt acquaintanced with it enough that I truly believed that death was comforting to me, apart of who I am. I realize now that I truly just wasn't in a healthy mindset. I wasn't death's best friend, I was just a lonely kid that was suicidal and was trying to cope.

And that's pretty much how I can properly explain what being a mythic black dog kintype meant to me. It was a product of my trauma and dissociation personified in myself as a way for me to cope. Of course, when I realized this, I knew that never discredited this being a valid reasoning behind a kintype. However, the problem was that I no longer felt so traumatized anymore. I've grown and I'm still growing and learning and healing. I'm not suicidal anymore, and my dissociation isn't as bad as it was years ago, and now I live in a safe place with a good support system in my boyfriend.

I had actually talked to him about this earlier this month about my black dog kintype on how I believed I no longer identified as a mythic black dog due due to feeling as if I've healed mostly from my trauma so the need to cling onto this feeling of being and seeing myself as a ghost dog was no longer necessary to cope. It was sad though, I told him, because the black dog was a part of me, you know? Even if its identity was just my trauma personified, that black dog was there during my worst moments and comforted me when I had no one else. Admiting to letting go of that identity felt like I was losing a piece of myself. Because in those moments as a kid/teen/young adult and the time I awakened those several months ago, the black dog was who I proudly was. Heck, even this blog is modeled and focused on the black dog!

But you know, its a good thing I think, to acknowledge that you're sad about healing because sometimes negative emotions and feeding into negative urges and behaviors can feel comforting but being able to be aware of that and still let go and move on makes me feel accomplished.

Despite having that talk with my boyfriend though, sometimes I still feel that etherealness of the black dog in moments like right now, as I'm writing this post and my boyfriend is asleep and I'm watching over him, guarding him in the night as I stay up late and wait for him to wake up like an affectionate dog waiting for his owner to come home.

So I guess I'm always on my toes when it comes to my ghost dog kintype. Always constantly questing a kintype that is as incomprehensible to me like sand falling between fingers.

I think ultimately, from my current understanding, being and identifying as a ghostly hound is about perspective. Traits that I thought and believed were because I was a mythic black dog was just another symptom of trauma in someone else's eyes but the casual and calm and soft moments at night remind me that being a black dog wasn't just all about trauma and suffering.

[lil-lost-mind]

(This is a bit of a along post about my general experience in the qsmp fandom, both good and bad, and it does mention xenophobia but not direct experiences)

I'm happy to see people here being so nice and reminding that we(Brazilians) are welcome here

I was really hesitant about interacting with fandom at first, I actually was there the Brazilians arrived because suddenly tazercraft live appeared for me on YouTube, I joined for a moment but didn't stay long, but I did look about it later. Because Brazilians youtubers/streamers are on a server with a bunch of people from other countries? I was curious about what this would lead to

Didn't regret it, but since then, I was a bit scared of interacting on fandom. Some comments on clips were fine. But then I started using tumblr because of a friend's recommendation, I kept a look on what was happening on lore on general but didn't really interact on fandom. Hence why I created this blog, and also why it took me so long to link this blog to my main one

Because, well, if I got hate for any reason, it would only be a sideblog that I only posted about qsmp. I could just delete it or just ignore them

I am by nature a person who is very shy to talk about my interests, it might have nothing wrong about it but I'm shy, I'm the type of person who goes on asks box on anon because is too shy, even if I'm not doing anything wrong there's this fear of judgemeent.

In the light of the recent events, I am once again reminded that's why I don't use or plan to use Twitter, but still I couldn't avoid but feel... scared in a way, I don't think anyone would like to be treated that way. And even a bit ashamed of saying that I'm brazilian. Ashamed might not be the right word, but there's this feeling wich is similar, and while I'm proud of being a brazilian, I just... maybe invalidate is a more fitting word, it's just feels like my culture is unimportant compared to others.

And this is what it seems, in my understanding, what looks like suffering from xenophobia is, but I imagine it's worse suffering it directly ofc, and ironically, I don't think I ever felt like that for those reasons before. And while I can't talk about how it feels when suffering from it directly, I feel bad for the people who had to go through it(not only Brazilians). Nobody should feel ashamed of their culture or ethnicity

Ofc tumblr isn't free of people like that. After all, no social media will be free from intolerance. But it feels like it's harder to see it. But I can't emphasize enough how it makes me happy to see so many people saying their blog is a safe place for us. After seeing this stuff, it makes things better, for me, at least. It reminds me that my culture isn't less important than any other

And qsmp brought something beautiful, the unity of communities. Because even with those bad things happening, it's not the only thing in fandom, it happens, and any fandom has this, unfortunately. But I love to see every time someone talks about their culture, facts about their languages, to see people motivated in learning new languages. It's beautiful and makes me happy each time

I don't regret making myself part of the fandom, the opposite, really, I've met creators that I would have never without the qsmp. I've met amazing people there, I've found incredible artists and writers. I've had fun

I've found the motivation to learn new languages again, more passion to draw

And I'm thankful to everyone there who is incredibly nice and so made me more comfortable interacting here, even if they will probably never know

So despite everything, I think it was worth it

Was worth reading character analysis and theories, enjoying stories, seeing fanart and animatics, learning new language facts and about other cultures. Was worth seeing people being happy

Again, I'm very thankful for all the people who made me, and I'm going to assume a lot of other people who needed to hear that, comfortable and validate here, I can't express how much this made me happy, I hope everyone coming from twitter have a good time here<3

And a very big and sincere "VAI TOMAR NO CU" to any xenophobic and racist person

I know very few people will see this, or even read everything, but I had to say this somewhere, so yeah, I'm rambling on tumblr again:D

[lord-aldhelm]

The Future of this Blog

In light of recent developments, I felt compelled to write this post. As this is something that actually affects me directly and personally, I felt the need to discuss it. You all can agree with me or disagree with me; this is my own opinion and decision.

It is my personal and biased opinion that actors, celebrities, and entertainers should steer clear of fandom spaces online. Them infiltrating these spaces is problematic in many ways, but first and foremost it creates unnecessary tension and anxiety, both for the fans and for the actor. When you know for certain that the actor is watching everything you do, you no longer have a safe space in which to express yourself freely and without shame. Fandom spaces can be toxic enough as it is, without also fearing upsetting or disturbing the very actors whose work you are discussing.

Unless the actors in question get "really cool about a lot of things really fast" it will always backfire. I know there are some celebrity accounts right here on Tumblr, and they have had varying levels of success. I also know that Jeppe is a frequent flyer on The Last Kingdom subreddit and to my knowledge he is very respectful of the fans there and has not caused any problems. But that is the exception, not the rule.

I will say that I have done a piss poor job of keeping my fandom and my personal and professional stuff separated. (Apparently I like to shit where I eat, lol.) That is my own fault really. But mostly I don't really care if anyone knows who I really am, because everything in my life bleeds together. I am not beholden to anyone besides myself, so no one will care what kind of weird stuff I am into. Other people have their reasons for staying anonymous and keeping their personal stuff strictly separated from their fandom stuff and that is understandable and respected.

We all know, as bloggers, that the stuff we post in here is public. There is no illusion of privacy here. Even if you have your blog settings set up so that it does not appear in Google search, or excluded from Tumblr search, or that only logged in accounts can view your profile, people can and will find your blog and view it. My blogs all are fully public, viewable by anyone, and included in both searches. I also have no illusion of privacy. However, I think there is an unspoken understanding that your blog is your "safe space", and should be respected as such. Just like the various fanfic sites are also safe spaces (but also public) where you can create freely and openly.

There is a saying "Don't post anything online you would not want your mother/daughter/etc to see". And that is probably true on Facebook or Instagram, where you family is probably already following you and will see what you post. Here the rules don't apply. If everyone here only posted stuff that was uncontroversial, tame, watered down, and sterile, this place would be boring as hell. This *is* the gay autism site after all. There are a lot of daydreaming artistic types who feel this is the only place where they are truly free to be themselves. To share their experiences and write about things that are dear to them, whether that is identifying mushroom species or writing deranged smut. (no judgement lmao)

With all of this being said, I will make it very clear that I WILL NOT be shutting this blog down!! I am not ashamed of anything that I have posted or will post in the future. I will NOT be censoring myself, and I WILL NOT be made to feel guilty about ANYTHING I say on here. I am generally very respectful and honestly mostly pretty tame (especially compared to some of y'all) but even if I have an unhinged rant or semi-feral moment in the tags I do not want to feel like I have to "dial it down" just because "someone" might see it and judge me.

I am not actively seeking to broadcast and get unwanted attention on this blog. But in the same token I will not try to hide anything.

This blog is MY SAFE SPACE. It is my home. I will continue to draw my beautiful artwork, write my little stories, share my thoughts and feelings, post my memes and edits, and interact with my mutuals and friends on here because it brings me great joy and NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE will take this away from me!!

This fandom has brought me a lot of joy and opened me up to new experiences, allowed me to be myself and connected me with some amazing people from all over the world. It has become a very important part of my daily life, and enriched me in ways I never could have imagined. I never want to feel like I have to go back to hiding away parts of myself out of fear or humiliation.

I am so damn tired of feeling like an outcast. I have finally found a place where I feel like I somewhat belong and I will not be chased out.

/rant

[saiwriting]

Thoughts, Thoughts, Blog #7

Jealousy is a disease and I think I may be finally cured. When someone chooses you, trust them. Trust them until they do not choose you anymore. Then you will know how to choose yourself.

Recently I've been having such a huge issue with self-image and self esteem (lo and behold we are in the 7 day range of my menstrual cycle). My life had always been a game of comparison because to me, comparison was nothing but competition. And I was fueled by competition until my engine would eventually burst into flames. Every grade and soccer game and achievement award was earned by merit of comparing myself to those past me and following in their footsteps. However, not having competition in all areas of my life proves to be at my detriment.

Other women. Man, we are afraid to admit that we compare for fear of being labeled Queen of the Pick-Me's. But those fears are being taken advantage of and will run you into the ground if not treated with love, care, and understanding. I compare. Or, I did, as of today. A lot. But it kind've really struck me today as to why I had been so triggered by the notion in my current relationship as of late.

Back in high school, I had this boyfriend who I thought completely blindsided me when he broke up with me. Of course I was heartbroken to pieces as to what I thought was love, but was even more broken when I had discovered I had essentially been replaced by someone of a similar archetype. Short. Black. Pretty. Big Butt. I was typecasted and blacklisted from my starring role. Shit. And that's when I officially felt that it was a competition.

A few years later I would enter another relationship with a man who had established an even stronger typecasting when comparing me to his bitch ex girlfriend. Alas, I had an image to withhold. I became so afraid of the notion that I could be replaced by someone just a pinch prettier, just a pinch blacker, and just a pinch thicker than me. It became a race of insanity within my brain that only I could struggle with because it went against my moral obligation to be a girl's girl. I never wanted to be this way, but it was the life lesson apple that fell on top of my head for me to eventually discover the gravity of this situation today.

There had just been a specific person who was so triggering as an idea to me recently because all that I knew was that there was some sort of similarity in archetype and proximity. I hadn't even really interacted with her past instagram likes and the occasional...staking out the competition. But last night I had realized how ridiculous that notion was to me. Last night and this morning, I solved my jealousy. Hallelujah and amen, right? But that's why I'm not ashamed to blog about it now. My boyfriend chooses me everyday, and I choose him.

When there is a feeling within me, I never quite know how to feel it. It congeals and pressurizes inside of my chest and slowly struggles to seep itself back into the crack it made in my heart, but if you're not bleeding, then call a doctor because you're NOT HEALING.

Not everything is a competition and it is so much easier to thoroughly love the nature of others when I am no longer hypnotized by the idea of a threat.

I love you all, and don't be afraid to face your demons. You might find that they look just like you. Check out my other posts for more introspection.

Love.

[angstflavoured]

I saw your post and I do agree that Wheatley canonically was a bit of a selfish you-know-what.

However, I thought I'd give my two cents on this topic (just know that these are MY observations from looking at the Portal fandom past and present).

I feel like it's important to keep in mind two things:

Wheatley (and his many human/android versions) first skyrocketed in popularity during 2011-2012, the years when (a) the Portal fandom was gaining far more traction during Portal 2's release compared to that of Portal 1, and b) when many facets of online communities like Tumblr (which, yes, included the 'Tumblr sexyman' trend - there's a good video that goes over the basic characteristics and the history behind this trend: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=us5Y_Kba7To&t) were developing alongside this traction. These led to the ongoing creation of many Wheatley versions, all with variations in both character design and the magical thing called ✨CHARACTER INTERPRETATION✨.

People within fandom culture tend to latch onto different characters for a whole slew of different reasons. Portal example: The personality cores (canon and fanmade) appeal to many people because of, well, their various personalities and the fact that we can look at them and go "Oh my gosh, I can relate to this" or "Oh, this one reminds me of this person".

I agree with your point that some canon details may have been forgotten:

Wheatley was, in fact, designed to be an idiot. Enough said.

Wheatley acting like Chell was going to abandon him when she never indicated that.

Wheatley accusing Chell of bossing him around, which in hindsight was pretty much projection on his end (prior to the chassis btw).

The ONLY thing I personally disagreed with was this quote from another post you made: "and no dont you dare tell me it was the chassis that made him that way bc its not and if you think that you have zero media literacy". Now I definitely agree that some people within fandom culture in general either ignore or reject the concept of media literacy all together.

However, I feel that phrase (combined with how aggressively you stated your pretty valid points) comes off as way too harsh. I also fear that some people may misinterpret your points to mean you've seen nothing but "wholesome interpretations" of him and you want to argue that the "losercore" interpretation of him as 'the best/canon one', which I doubt is the case.

Some people like to have complex interpretations of the character. Some people prefer more canon stuff. And some people just like to see the character as more wholesome or silly because they see it as their comfort character to insert their own interpretations onto (i.e. What if Wheatley had a good relationship with Chell, and was actually controlled by the corrupted chassis only to feel guilty afterwards?).

If you want some interpretations either more in line with canon Wheatley, I have some recommendations for you to check out:

USB-Dongle Wheatley/Ask Android Wheatley: He was VERY popular on Tumblr during 2011-2012, to the point where his creator dedicated a whole RP/ask-blog that is now unfortunately defunct. HOWEVER, if you dig deep enough, you can find reblogged art both from the artist and the RP blog on here. The more wholesome moments are only confined to some of the responses within the RP blog, but most of his canon character is still intact.

Negaduck13 Wheatley: Probably one of the most canon interpretations of the character I have seen on Tumblr. Aside from the few instances of him being sympathetic, he is pretty much a silly, cowardly jerk. (Just know that his design was recently reused for a collab webcomic series the artist is working on.)

Dragon.lunatic Wheatley (Insta): From what little I have seen of him, he also seems to be more in-line with his canon self.

Also the "THE PORTAL 2 FANDOM IS IN SHAMBLES !!!!!!!!! I WANNA TEAR MY HAIR OUT" comes off as incredibly 'doom and gloom', which I believe you didn't intend to do.

Yes, the Portal fandom has had its weird moments (e.g. that one argument some people that "All artists' Wheatley designs look the same" when some of them only shared a few traits but were still unique in their own way), but I don't think it was ever "in shambles" to begin with.

In fact, I've only seen it continue to evolve to amazing creatives like yourself. The Portal fandom has lasted for over a decade, it's only just changed slightly with a changing internet culture and even more epic people to continue its legacy.

I apologise for this long info-dump, but I enjoy your interpretation of Wheatley just as much as many others. I just thought I'd give you another perspective as someone who has looked through the history of the Portal fandom for a good few years now.

Hope you have a nice day/evening. 👍🏻

(On a much lighter and completely unrelated note, I wonder if an archive dedicated to the fandom's history and some of the AUs/artists would be a good idea...? :] )

dawg sorry what 😭😭😭😭 i know most of the stuff that youre saying, i dont need links to the definition of a tumblr sexyman. what is going on. im 23 and have been on tumblr for a few months under a decade.

what i said is what i meant, i dont really care if its harsh. my whole point was that its NOT "an interpretation" of his character. that IS his character. he is selfish and mean from start to end. if people did the very least of giving him a redemption arc--like Blue Sky did--thatd be a different story. in that he was VERY 3 dimensional, while still being EXTREMELY flawed and holding onto his basic character traits. it was very much WHEATLEY.

ive been in this fandom for almost 5 years and have consumed MOST of the big fan content for it. i know all of this and was keeping it in mind when saying what i said. at the end of the day, i cant police anyone. if they wanna write him OOC and make him nothing like how he is in the game, then they very well can. its just really fucking boring to me. A lot of the stuff i love in the fandom was made in 2012 bc people who like it now are very very young and dont understand his character. they FUNDAMENTALLY do not understand who he is.

again. this isnt interpretation. this is CANON. this is me listing CANON TRAITS. with CANON LINES. its not "how i see him." that was the entireeeee point of my post.

Literally him saying shit like: "Am I being too vague? I despise you. I loathe you. You arrogant, smugly quiet, awful jumpsuited monster of a woman." hes literally telling her this ISNT cute little game, he just WANTS HER DEAD.

he tried to kill her UP UNTIL HIS VERY LAST MOMENTS WITH HER. and he had always been this way. people who think the chassis made him evil, its like--its a just a scapegoat to excuse everything he did and say it wasnt his fault and that he was under the influence of something else. it deminishes his ENTIRE CHARACTER down to dog water. which, to me personally, really sucks! because if you just interpret him as a nice, polite guy who is super respecful and decently smart, then it just isnt him. its a random guy with Wheatleys name that people can plug into xreaders.

every fandom does this with the fav character, im just upset about wheatley atm. this is just an inevitable thing that happens, but its SOOOO frequent in the portal 2 space that its a little aggravating.

[placeinthisworld]

i am relating to SO much of what im reading on ur blog rn. do not get me wrong - i LOVE ttpd and love taylor. it's kind of one of those things that's like "always have, always will." im always going to be so grateful for her work and this community, and as i said - i AM loving the music rn!

BUT. she feels different, and feels so far away. i know we are not owed her time or attention, but when you've built your entire brand on fan connection and being "different" than any other celebrity in that regards, it's going to feel off and unexpected when it suddenly stops with no explanation. most of her little interaction is on tiktok, which is half the time not with actual fans, but rather anyone who uses her song in the background (which a lot of times is influencers!) ppl say "yeah but now she does so much more for us" .... yeah... so many new THINGS to buy.

i also think she's at a place where she KNOWS she is on top of the world rn (good for her!) but it has come with a complex - she knows now she doesnt NEED to be close with her fans, doesnt NEED to use her platform for good, doesnt NEED to take constructive criticism - because the gp likes her enough to where she doesn't even need a strong centralized fanbase. as of rn, no opposition can make a dent in her fame or income and she knows it. and it feels icky, and honestly makes her feel less human (which is interesting, because the ttpd is imo some of the most raw humanlike work)

the new social circle is off too. i dont hate travis, and i was happy for her, but have come to like him less and less since realizing he's a bit sleazy and is kind of only liberal for pay. he's publicly made r*pe jokes and xenophobic comments in the past couple years (NOT from 15 year old tweets! recent!) his dad is also super transphobic and mahomes brother is a charged SAer yet taylor gallavants w both of them. travis just seems like an oaf and while im glad she had something more easy and fun, it's telling that there's been a lack of backlash towards him when he's exhibited the same behavior as matty and the only things taylor could write ab him were sports and high school references. i hate to even touch on her personal life like this but god forbid this is a forever thing :/ omg this is a lot but yeah im glad we're having this convo

yup!! bestie your feelings are so valid and i feel very very similarly about everything!!

she knows she doesn’t need to appeal to a niche audience of tween girls anymore. she knows she’s beyond that. fate worked its magic and now she’s america’s it girl without any of drama of having to censor her work. and while yes i’m very proud and happy for her, you’re exactly right, she’s more than happy to continue to push things for us to buy in order to feel close to her. she’s already established a group of life long fans by those who she’s interacted with, invited to things, sent money too etc. so she really doesn’t have to do anything else besides make more music and have the world speculate about her personal life. at the end of the day she just feels sooooo disconnected to us now, compared to how we used to have it at least.

ugh i knew icky meathead was sleazy without even needing taylor to bring him into the limelight but now everyone and their mom is obsessed and up his ass too. EVEN with all those gross things about him (we all saw the recent commencement speech excuse 🤢) he’s definitely democratic for pay. i definitely don’t think he’s gonna stick around forever, either he’ll fuck up and get caught w another girl or she’ll get bored of his ass (speculating that this is a legit relationship and not PR at least lol) she’s a girl that needs a new boy every now and then i fear.

generally i’m just disappointed in her now in a lot of aspects. but completely disconnecting from the world, acting like a whole ass genocide is not actively happening, only ever promoting of talking about herself or her own work just seems so bland and selfish. she’s mentioned voting like what, twice this year? in generic ghost written sentences on an IG story?

[inktober-of-a-fan-girl]

Day 11: Jason Isaacs

So this is my favourite version. Since seeing it, I own a copy of it, I make fan art of it, and I have fanfiction based on it….It is the one I dream of when I see Captain Hook. I also have @oh-my-favourite-piratee which has a lot of this version sliding into it.

It is from 2003.

This is mostly just a rant about why I love this version…

This movie is mentioned later in the inktober too.

More in Keep Reading.

Peter Pan directed by P. J. Hogan (2003), is an authorized live-action movie adaptation. This version is notable for its directness in addressing the romantic elements between Peter (Jeremy Sumpter) and Wendy (Rachel Hurd-Wood). Captain Hook was portrayed by Jason Isaacs (who also plays the role of Mr. Darling), and Tinker Bell was played by Ludivine Sagnier. The $100 million film boasted state-of-the-art special effects by ILM and took nearly a year to produce in Australia, but was not a financial success for Universal Studios (USA/France/English countries) and Columbia Pictures.

It didn't become a financial success because...

Peter Pan had the misfortune of being released a week before another fantasy book adap - a little film called The Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King. This means audiences saved their pennies for that trilogy closer, and Pan only made $122m worldwide on its $130m budget.

To me, Lord of the Rings is another rabbit hole but it came after Peter Pan.

This is the beautiful version of Captain James Hook we got, played by Jason Isaacs. Blue-eyed, with long black hair and facial hair plus he has his hook on his right-hand cause the actor is trained in sword-play with both hands.

This is what fans are comparing live actions to cause Captain Hook here has the right amount of everything to him. I don't think the new version (with Jude Law) will come close…but we will see. Tumblr and Youtube with the trailer here:

has videos and gifs like this cause it is a fan favourite.

It is what made Captain Hook turn into a sexy bad boy. (Spotify has a playlist with this version as a cover). I mean I feel I agree with this when thinking of this version. This is probably why…

...who's idea was that?

Granted I was like 5 years old in theatres when I saw this. Why did 5-year-old Emily see this in theatres? Cause she asked her dad and he said yes.

Also, I spy the Eton crest (talked more about in my @music-meme-of-365-days)

Then he plays the piano (technically it is a harpsichord) for Wendy in this version and also sings. And also this caused so much older Wendy Darling x Captain Hook fanfiction/fan art/etc (looking at @darlinghooklove-blog and bloggers of that group) to appear and I get why so I have a blog called @emily-s-otp for more Captain Hook x Wendy Darling stuff.

This version has a theme about Wendy growing up/learning about herself and it seems creepy when you think about it, due to him playing her father. This is probably why Jason Isaacs is unsure about it.

Now thinking about it, I know this was part of my sexual awaking as a teen (cause I saw it again as a teenager…and many times after…)

Speaking of Spotify, it only recently readded this version to it…just as Netflix removed it. (Like why? Add it back again)

also this song from the trailer…

I might keep hunting for stuff relating to this...or finding a Tumblr post like this...

This connects into another inktober...guess who?

Also, ratings for this come up this...

IMDb - 6.8/10

Rotten Tomato - 77%

Common Sense - 4/5

I wish they were better.

Also, Jason Isaacs has mixed feelings about it. Someone tell him that "You are born to play Captain Hook." cause it is true and many fans agree.

Also there is an extra that I need to show you.

Jason Isaac probably did have fun making this movie....this video proves it.

I think he did a lot part of the documentary for this movie.

Also, this has more than one thing with the person who plays Peter Pan:

Just look up Jeremy for more. (this channel has a lot of him.)

He and Rachel did a Neville Longbottom on us.

So there is that article with Jason Isaacs part saying:

Apart from giving no fucks on Twitter, Jason has also appeared in the likes of Harry Potter and Star Trek. You've probably never heard of them.

…Jason Isaacs also does that apparently. I meant the "no fucks on Twitter" part, and not the others.

https://twitter.com/jasonsfolly

…this is his username. Just look at the bio. No fucks here.

TV tropes are another go-to for me and this movie.

[weaversweek]

"Chewing gum" "On your head"

Two more delights from my greatest singles of the 21st century.

"Chewing gum" - Annie

The internet revolutionised how we discovered music. John Sakamoto's Anti-Hit List was a reliable source of great new music, expertly curated by a reliable tastemaker, put out of business when the Toronto Star made cuts in 2009. Record of the Day - and its predecessor The Tip Sheet - explain what the music industry want to push. There are interesting public radio stations WFUV and KCRW, more recently CBC Music and NPO 3fm.

But nothing beats the personal recommendation, the post written by a fan who loves what they're hearing. A long-lost Scandipop blog tipped us off about this one, and I'm really glad they did.

Back to 2004, when electro-pop was at its most thrilling. Richard X from Xenomania wrote a confident, swaggering pop tune, sung by Annie about her many useless exes. The chorus line gets stuck in one's head: "you think you're chocolate but you're chewing gum", a diss to anyone. The album, Anniemal, had spectacular follow-up "Heartbeat", and 1999's "The greatest hit".

In my personal top ten of the decade, but (sigh) the top five only allows five entries, and this doesn't quite get the bonus mark. Video is from T4's Popworld, which was another fine way to discover great music.

"On your head" - Tiffany Page

Grunge never quite died, it just came back in unexpected ways. Tiffany Page was brought up on a diet of country music and Hole; her songs combine the best of both genres, relentless and verbose.

"On your head" came out in early summer 2010, and made it to Radio 1's B-list. Her vocals were compared to Chrissie Hynde of The Pretenders - soulful, smoky, sultry. Not that this made it a hit - into the top 40 at number 102, and straight out again.

And that's a desperate shame. Tiffany writes and sings and tells a whole story in the four minutes: the subject is near the end of his tether, confused and spiralling. Tiffany's song structure portrays this unsettled world in repeated phrases, culminating in a request for mercy.

The album "Walk Away Slow" appeared on Spotify a few years back. I fear that Tiffany had stopped making music by then.

[candycoatedanxiety]

How to write a fanfic with the help of AI

Nowadays, with the advent of ChatGPT and its retinue of AI chatbots, asking AI about anything seems easier compared to doing a web search. Googling produces a lot of noise that hinders you from finding the data you’re looking for. Searching for recipes for me took me a long time. What if I needed a recipe that consists of specific ingredients? ChatGPT solved that problem for me. Recently I’ve relied on ChatGPT on recipes --- give it a prompt like which ingredients you have on hand and which dish. It works like a charm every. Damn. Time. I recommend you try it. 

Anyway, one day I was reading two fanfics off the Arashi fandom and had a lightbulb moment. What about contributing another fanfic to the fandom? I actually have a WIP novel that I’ve decided to set aside for the meantime. Now the question is: should I enlist the help of ChatGPT? 

Why did I talk to it like a human being? Because I knew it can respond in an almost human-like manner. 

So I gave it my idea: I wanted to write something about Nino being the troubled person who witnessed the death of his best friend, Sho. Jun becomes his therapist, and Ohno was Sho’s boyfriend whose aim was to investigate the death of his boyfriend. Aiba is Nino’s other best friend who was also close to Sho from childhood.

A few seconds later, it responded, praising my idea and even offered a working title. But that’s not all...

It also produced a possible synopsis...

...character descriptions...

...and laid down the basic outline of the story, complete with highlights per stage. I was completely impressed with what ChatGPT can do, and I was intrigued with what it can still offer. 

I offered a location idea for the story, and it came back with a list of possible areas where the characters hang out or where the story can happen, all within the city of Düsseldorf. 

Wow. The list it came up with --- back then you’d pore over maps, do a web search on blogs, or even visit the areas mentioned, but now ChatGPT delivered. 

Now with the basic parts laid down, you might be asking: “Did you ask it how to write the actual story?”

The answer is I did ask it to write a sample first chapter. 

It looks great from the get-go, but it reads a bit stiff. If you have been reading the fic on AO3, you will notice I made some changes and added a bit of imagery, especially at the end of the chapter.

Now I realised that ChatGPT can, in fact, write a decent chapter. Rule of thumb is never rely on ChatGPT when writing the final draft 100%. So at every chapter that I pitch to it, it writes a sample chapter first, then I proofread and edit on Google Docs, adding embellishments that only human writers can do. Asking ChatGPT to make a portion of a chapter conversational is just as decent; you will still need to rewrite to perfect it. 

Whenever I ask a question, it will give me multiple angles to my answer, like this one below: 

ChatGPT provides you something to ponder, not just giving answers outright, which helps me as a writer imagine possibilIties and move the story forward.

Throughout the process, ChatGPT is my beta reader: I throw ideas to it and it will give suggestions, hints, and helpful reminders. It being a beta reader works only up to a point, because it changes the voice whenever I asked it to proofread a paragraph. While ChatGPT seems to be a capable and supportive beta reader, you will still need to rewrite and/or make changes to the text to make it read like you envisioned it. 

To end this article, I will present its version of the 13th Chapter side by side with the one I wrote. 

Here’s ChatGPT’s version: 

And the published version, which you can read here. 

I understand that there are many people who view AI as an instrument that will soon take over many human jobs, particularly the arts. While the fears and doubts are somewhat valid, I recommend that we all take both opinions and AI with a grain of salt and exercise caution. It is true that AI can definitely be a tool that will help you accomplish your tasks, and it has helped me write my fanfic in ways that I haven’t been able to in many years. Right now it helped me foster my love for writing and improving upon it. 

Take all the time you need to think about how AI can help you with everyday tasks. There are tons of first-person accounts on how ChatGPT assisted them in their jobs and everyday life (even ADHD patients swear by it!) and I hope you all keep an open mind on it.

Good luck!

[mi5019tomberry]

AI Research

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by AI & CHATGPT • TIPS | ENTERTAINMENT | TOOLS (@evolving.ai)

I hadn't fully decided on a topic for this module but I woke up on the morning the video above was posted seeing the latest AI innovations from OpenAI with their new text-to-video software - Sora. The new state of the art AI video software is staggeringly advanced, at a glance these videos are indistinguishable from real life and once held under scrutiny there are some errors here and there but with the rate it has progressed already, it wouldn't be surprising if these issues are cleared up in a years time.

This is the link to the website about Sora and at the time of posting this, it is not open for public use. Browsing through the collection they have provided highlights the capabilities of the software in its current state and the potential impact it may have on the future of video media. This software could easily replace an industry for stock footage and further developments may have the capacity to generate filler footage for TV/Film.

I had looked into the state of AI during November as I wanted to better understand where the world was at in regards to AI. The interview above is with Mo Gawdat, someone who was previously on the front lines of AI innovation whilst working at Google X. Whilst it is rampant with fear-mongering (likely to drum up sales for the book about AI that he is promoting) it is very interesting to hear just how fast AI is progressing in the present and recent developments with Chat GPT and Sora show just how fast this tech is developing. The notes and screenshot are part of the work I did for the mi5018 module when we also happened to be discussing the topic of AI and as it is relevant I've included it here too. I sum up some pros and cons of AI in the future loosely whilst preparing for a mini debate in class and wrote about AI's future impact for my blog.

This was the first video I found when seeking to find more about Sora and the progress of AI video. This video studies what works and doesn't work with AI video figuring out what problems are solved with compared with the previous iteration of text-to-video AI and also what still must be fixed to improve this tech.

This is a brief summary showing what the news is discussing on the topic of AI so that I could compare what I had found in my own research compared to what simplified version was being told on the news.

This video was reassuring because at this point I had spent a lot of the day shocked by the technology and what it could mean for my career prospects in animation in one and a half years time when I graduate - will AI have taken the role of entry level animators? If so, will I be skilled enough to take on more advanced animation work so that I can keep up in this industry? This video explained the limitations of the software in its current state and why it can't yet be used in the film/TV industry due to a lack of intuitive editing capabilities within the software. Essentially, where Sora is now what you see is what you get and whilst it may be stunning photo-realistic footage, it can't yet be tweaked in such a way that it could expediate the film-making process. Right now it is more of a gimmick but this gimmick is progressing exponentially and already poses a serious threat to videographers making a living creating stock footage.

It was funny to see a new iteration of a tech bro trying to capitalise on this new trend of AI video by creating his own "mastermind" community giving you the viewer the chance to get the scoop of the latest in AI technology. It was interesting to see a mix of different reactions to the software to better put it all into perspective in terms of the genuine implications that AI has in the present and to see the wild claims being made about the software from different sources.

This Youtuber gave a more interesting insight into AI as a whole rather than just on Sora and discussed topics like AGI which I had not yet learnt about but are relevant to the topic of AI as a whole. All of the big tech companies like Google and OpenAI that are developing their own AI are working towards AGI currently. AGI stands for Artificial General Intelligence and could act as a replacement for humans in certain roles as it is a computer that is as smart as an individual and would be able to think faster and make more accurate predictions within the parameters of the task it has been programmed to work on. In some ways, the tech that we already have is at the level of AGI as AI can already carry out certain tasks better than humans starting with primitive iterations like Deep Blue which beat Garry Kasparov the world chess champion in 1997. The Youtuber above looks over the predictions of economists and scientists to give a detailed look into the prevailing thoughts about the capacity of contemporary AI and when AGI could be realised.

As OpenAI is seemingly the leader in the race towards AGI, I wanted to learn a little more about the current CEO of the company Sam Altman. It was interesting to hear what the man steering the ship had to say about AI even though it is undermined by the PR for himself and his company. There is still something to be learnt from the video above because we are hearing from the horses mouth what they believe about the pros and cons of AI and what realistically it could achieve contrary to some of the uninformed speculation in some of the other videos I watched covering the topic.

This video looked deeper into OpenAI as a company and discussed the recent controversy surrounding Altman's firing and subsequent re-instating to his position of CEO of OpenAI.

After watching enough videos about AI for one day, this sudden change of events on Feb 15th steered the focus of this project towards AI as not only was it a topic I was interested in part due to the films I watched growing up but it was also a current topic which I have a vested interest in because of the threat it currently poses to my future career.

AGI, AI Singularity, Bell Curve, Machine Learning, Open AI

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

Paintings, candles, and maple dandelion wine

Beauchamp Ranch in the spring really is the best time to visit. Since I last visited, things were a bit quiet, mainly because it was winter and things were at the stage where everything’s being set up. Now that things have settled, they can really start taking off and I’m looking forward to see how things will go in the future.

Joe’s been working really hard to fix the ranch up with help from Maddie, Josie, Nina, and Junia. The winery was first as they already have the equipment so that has been going well. Then there was Junia’s physical shop, which has been slowly taking off as well. Eventually she will need to expand in order to keep up with orders.

Next up is the bakery, though that’ll take some time, which is why it’s not really a priority, more like something to plan ahead for. Joe’s already found some people for that, so it’s a step forward. After all, there’s only so much that they can take on, and at the moment, livestock isn’t feasible. Ideally, Joe would like to bring a few animals in but with everything else going on, time and resources are limited. It would be nice, but I agree that maybe it wouldn’t work with the direction they’re planning to take with the ranch. Besides, it’s already a lot running a winery, art shop, and bakery.

Nina and Junia are doing well now that they’ve settled in Northpass. Junia’s shop, Flickering Dreams, has expanded from candles and stickers to tote bags, wax seal kits, and now keychains. The physical shop has been slowly gaining traction, a venture she feared was too risky, especially for someone relatively new. So far, things are going well, far better than she expected, and it’s made her more confident in herself and her art.

I can see in her vlogs how much happier and self assured Junia has grown, especially in these past few months. Ever since meeting Nina and transitioning, Junia’s been going through a lot in terms of transformation and finding herself. After spending her 20s stuck in the rut playing the role of dutiful son while constantly being compared to her “perfect” older brother, she’s spending her 30s getting to know the best version of herself and just living life without constantly putting herself down for not being as good as the others.

As for Junia’s family, she says her grandma’s trying to outdo everyone in terms of being her biggest cheerleader. From what I’ve seen in the vlogs, she seems like a fun person. A bit overbearing, but in a nice way. Grandma Chi volunteers at a nursing home and she constantly talks about Junia and Nina, so they’re pretty well known over there. In fact, when Junia first opened her shop, most of her first customers were residents from there. As a result, Grandma Chi had to help most of them order stuff since a lot of them aren’t familiar with computers, which I think is cute.

Junia’s parents have also been super supportive, though like many parents, they were a bit hesitant at first. Sure, they’re a little old fashioned, but they’re open. Maybe they can be too on the nose sometimes with their support - rainbow cups and gaudy trans flag pins, to name a few, - but they really do care, even if they don’t fully understand. It’s far from perfect, but they make an effort, and that’s what’s important. Plus, they like Nina and think she’s the best thing to ever happen to Junia, so that helps too.

Nina’s going through a similar change as she also broke free from a life that was draining her and is now slowly finding herself. Her personal blog’s been a great outlet for her, especially when she couldn’t do much while recovering her health. Moving in with Junia has been a big step for her and she couldn’t be happier, especially with most of her troubles behind her for good.

The biggest change that’s happened recently for her is having top surgery. It was something she was considering on and off for pretty much the past decade, but she wouldn’t say it out loud at the time. After completely breaking ties with her old job and getting compensated for a lawsuit tied to that, she figured that now’s the time to get it done. Her parents didn’t quite understand, plus they were reluctant about her having surgery since she was already dealing with a bunch of health issues, but they were able to grasp why she wanted to go forward with it.

It’s been a month since her surgery and she’s glad she did it. Aside from helping with her self esteem, there were health factors to consider too, which was part of the reason why she decided to do it. That, and also getting back on her feet and helping Junia with her shop has helped boost her self confidence. She also hopes to eventually be able to help Joe with the winery and probably the bakery as well, but she still has to take it slow and not overexert herself. There’s also a bunch of other things she’d like to take on, though again, she’s trying not to take on too much, but at least she knows all the possibilities are out there.

Again, I’m happy for Junia and Nina and I’m looking forward to see where their journey takes them.

Along with me, Daisy Jane, and the campers, Richard, the girls, and Ken are also visiting the ranch. Quinn has spring break so the family’s spending the week with Maddie and Joe. Ken and Junia are doing a collab together as well as filming stuff for their vlogs.

It’s been a while since I’ve heard from Ken and now they’re slowly coming out of their social media hiatus. They’ve been going through a lot since taking their sister under their wing after their abusive mother’s death. In short, Ken and Carol grew up in a shitty dysfunctional family and between all their siblings, they’re the only ones with some sort of relationship. Ken considers themselves lucky as they were the youngest, meaning they got away with most - as in being neglected. Carol was the middle child who ended up being the mother’s punching bag and emotional support. Yeah, far from a happy loving family.

Things have been a rollercoaster for Ken and Carol, which is why they decided to take a hiatus. Despite that, they have been a lot happier without a certain someone’s shadow constantly hovering over them. However, things are still rough as you can’t easily undo years of abuse and neglect. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t hope. Ken’s feeling optimistic as they have been making an effort, and that’s a pretty important thing.

Earlier this year, Carol voluntarily went into an institution, which wasn’t an easy decision, but one she and Ken felt was necessary. As much as they care about their sister, Ken feels like it’s best for them to maintain a healthy distance for the time being. It’s natural for people to get worried or concerned when they hear the word “institutionalized”, as Ken pointed out, but it’s not always as scary as society makes it out to be. In fact, most people like Carol voluntarily seek treatment, so they have a say in that, which I think is very important. Plus, she did her research and chose that facility because she trusted them, and likewise Ken trusts her judgement.

So far, things have been going all right - still too early to tell, but they feel like it was the right decision. Ken visits and keeps in contact with her often, so at least they know that she’s not being kept under lock and key. They said they were actually surprised by the place, especially since it’s not what you’d expect. The best way they can describe it was that everything was so ordinary, like the patients there are just people you’d meet out in the streets, something that surprised Carol too. She’s made some friends over there and they’ve been a great help to her, so that’s another good thing.

With that out of the way, Ken is slowly getting back into the swing of things. They reopened their shop a couple weeks ago just as a start while preparing for a major update in the summer. They’re also doing various collabs, the one with Junia being the first of hopefully many for them. I’m glad to hear that they’re doing much better and that the hiatus has been good. I’m also looking forward to see what they have in store for the future.

Once again, Joe gave us another tour of the ranch since a lot has changed since our last visit. They really did a nice job of fixing up the place! Since Junia’s shop is closed on weekends, it’s just the winery that’s up and running. Maple dandelion wine’s in season so that’s their most popular product at the moment. With the way activity is picking up Joe hopes to arrange some events like wine tastings next year.

There is’t really much on the bakery yet other than cleaning and fixing the place up. Maddie and Josie helped with the redecorating so all that’s left is to replace some of the equipment. I really like the cozy, homey vibe they’ve got going on there. But for now, Joe has other things to focus on before he and the others can give their full attention to that. I’m interested to see what they have in store once they get there.

Flickering Dreams has obviously expanded so it’s looking more like one of those independent art stores in the cities. Junia and Nina gave us an updated tour of the studio, which has grown too now that they can afford more fancy equipment. Aside from the candles, Junia has started outsourcing the rest of her stuff. Running both an online and physical shop has been a lot so she’s still trying to find her footing, but she enjoys it. Also, that wouldn’t have been possible if it weren’t for Nina and Joe - and Grandma Chi.

On the weekends things are a lot more quiet, allowing us to go on short hikes in the woods. We also did fun activities like paint and make candles. Junia’s considering the idea of doing a candle making workshop, but obviously that’s something for the future as she really doesn’t have the time and energy for right now, but she wants to do it if people are interested. I totally would be!

I’m not really a candle person, but I have grown to appreciate them thanks to Junia. We made a bunch with some leftover materials so nothing is wasted. I made earl grey vanilla, jasmine milk tea, and citrus tea candles, all which I plan to put to good use.

During our hikes, we did some art, mostly painting. It’s been a long while since I painted and I keep forgetting how much I enjoy it. I think my biggest thing with painting is that I’m impatient, which is probably why I hardly ever reach for my paintbrushes. I like the look of watercolors but have an easier time with acrylics. Gouache is nice to work with too but again, patience, as they tend to dry a shade lighter. I really should learn how to paint better and get better brushes while I’m at it. I just feel like I’d really enjoy it a lot more if I put more effort into it.

Maddie has been popping in every so often to help Joe, Junia, and Nina out. If she wasn’t already busy with her day job, she’d want to run the bakery. However, she has no intention of changing careers at the moment and she has other obligations to fulfill, but it has been something she’s considering. After all, she never intended to get involved with Joe and the ranch, at least not by this degree. Josie and Richard were surprised too when she brought up the bakery, so I guess it’s something she’s trying to figure out.

Whatever she decides to do, I’m sure Maddie will be happy. She seems like the kind of person who has good judgment, so if she decides to make a big change, it’s because she knows it’ll work out. I think that’s why she and Richard have remained good friends over the years, because they’re similar like that. However, unlike Nina, she isn’t burnt out or disillusioned by her life and career, but she says she’s open to change.

Well, the possibilities are bountiful so you can’t really go wrong there. How nice it is to say that with such confidence!

Read on AO3

[biancasspainlitblog]

Week #15 Blog

Fernando Aramburu "Homeland" (340-390)(354 words)

Summary

The last couple of chapters that I have read were interesting. I read about how pretty much everyone isn't really talking to everyone. One person got arrested. Someone quit smoking and it has been really hard to not go back. That's pretty much the main thing that caught my attention when I was reading.

Critical Analysis

Fernando Aramburu quoted "Sitting on the edge of the bed, he felt an almost irresistible desire to light a cigarette, but he didn't. An addiction he'd overcome, though from time to time the temptation would come back. One hundred and fourteen days ago he smoked his last cigarette. He kept count and every day a balloon of pride expanded around it. There were a few cases of lung and esophagus cancer in his family. Also in Bittori's family and in the village as well. He didn't want to run the same risk. He had other plans." On page 384 of the book “Homeland” I picked this quote because when I first read it made me think about how every family goes through difficulty and you see so much in your family that you're scared that it could pass down to you. So in this situation he was fearing if he keeps smoking the same thing that happened to his family will happen to him. This book is really about family and that's why I picked this quote because he really brought up his family in about how they used to smoke and that is something they have in common.

Personal Response

Recently I have been reading and I like how they bring situations from the past and bring it nowadays and compare it to things that are happening now. I have been trying to read and not get distracted and just focus. It has been hard because it isn't the type of book I would choose to read. I thought this book was going to be completely different but it is okay. I will still read it but it’s pretty hard to stay focused and really get into that mindspace of the book if that makes sense.

[38riku]

𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘, 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐌𝐄

afab reader x eren jaeger. minors and ageless blogs do not interact. handjob. mentions of infidelity. cum eating (?) sub!eren (?)

sucks I had to rewrite this ugh :( made it a bit longer but it’s still a short drabble

“why so tense, hm?”

eren felt a pleasant shiver rake through his body as you whispered in his ear, your breath fanning against his face and reminding him just how little space was in between the two of you.

his body jolted as you swiped your thumb over his leaking slit, lubricating his shaft as you began to pump him at a delicious pace that had his unconsciously grinding into your hand in minutes.

“you’re so needy baby, do they not take care of you?”

a whine escaped his lips as you squeezed the base of his shaft, requiring an answer and eliciting him to nod hastily in fear of restricted pleasure. it was true, his recent arm candy was nothing compared to you.

their body didn’t fit right with his — like trying to squeeze a puzzle piece in a space it doesn’t belong — and it drove him crazy because he knows you slot against him perfectly.

their laugh, noisy and rambunctious and it reminds him of a bird squawking in pain. he imagines yours instead: melodious, even with the little snorts and dramatic intakes of air you tend to do, it makes his hearts do summersaults all the same.

“you know I’ll always take care of you right?”

pretty plump lips trailed against his jaw, kissing his skin and marking the territory as yours. he is yours. eren jeager is completely and wholly yours.

your sweet nothings always did it for him; an embarrassingly amount of cum spurting from his tip, coating his abdomen as a mantra of your name fell from his lips in a hushed manner, as he lolled his head on your shoulder for support.

you cooed at him, stroking him languidly through his release with light praises and gentle forehead pecks. “you came so quick.” his face — flaming hot with sweat gathering at his brow — reddened further.

of course he did.

you shifted, and, for a moment, eren felt his heart fall to his stomach. his fears were debunked as you began to shed each fabric of clothing from your body, causing his cock to stiffen as you straddled him in your naked form.

“‘m not just gonna leave you like this, baby. you know I care about you too much.”

you do care about him. you care about him enough to plague his mind each waking day, causing him to wonder if he has captured your attention for the week or will you’ve set your sights on another, stringing them on much like you’ve done him.

but, when he is the center of your life — even for a week, a day, or a very tipsy night at a campus party — he swears it’s love. that’s why he’s okay with being a reoccurring pawn in your game, no matter his wounded pride, his reputation, hell even his better judgement.

“let me prove it to you. we have all night~”

2022 38riku. All Rights Reserved. Do not copy, repost, or plagiarize my work. Comments and reblogs are appreciated!

[pufflocks]

Hello again Zen! First I just wanna say that you don’t need to apologize about what happened to the other fic. If you ever feel like you wanna reattempt it, just tell me and I’ll send it again. This request is also smut like the last one and I hope that’s ok!

So Bakugou, known by the public as the pro hero Dynamight, has been having it tough at work the past 2 weeks. He knew that technically it was partly his fault. You see, Bakugou is in a secret relationship with one of Japan’s most mischievous villains. Y/n L/n. (Male Reader) Y/n was in reality not necessarily a villain. He was seen as one, but he had never actually killed anybody. He was more the type to steal, start some fights/trouble and occasionally blow up some place. He was more mischievous than evil. Though Bakugou knew that Y/n wasn’t as bad as everyone thought, and he knew that Y/n did love him. He just had a bit of history.. With that being said: Bakugou had been having it rough lately because his secret boyfriend had been at it like crazy. He also knew that Y/n was intentionally making things difficult for him. So when he was on his patrol and got an emergency signal about trouble just a few blocks away, boy was he ready to hunt Y/n down! Once he saw him he immediately chased him into an alleyway. Y/n had escaped and ran into an abandoned apartment. He thought he was safe. But when he turned around, he wasn’t so lucky. Shit.. Bakugou was ready to completely ravage and take out all of his frustrations on Y/n, as he had him trapped with nowhere to run.

This one could be considered Revenge/Angry S*x. It’s not non-con since Y/n clearly knew what he was in for, and Bakugou wouldn’t do anything incase Y/n seriously stopped him. The request was kinda long, sorry about that lol. If you don’t feel like writing it then it’s fine, and if you’d like to switch some things up then feel free to do so! Also, don’t feel rushed and take your time. Have a nice day/night! :>

Summary: I'm not a dark blogger, but this req is honestly too amazing. I will change some things as to not make it exactly dark though— And thank you for being patient with me and the recent incident. 💛

Warnings: NFSW • proof read • Aged up • mild angst{?}

Cast: Villian!M!Reader x Pro hero!Bakugou

○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○

Y/N L/N. A name that was a hassle to spit out. Your name was spoke like a horrid sickness spreading west to east. All you were was some mildly lowlife starting cat fights on the streets of Japan. It usually happens at night, and that's also when you strike 24 hour open corner stores. Quite fun to be honest. Your skill being up to par of a spy since your original outing clothing you were seen with was mostly black. Your hair was dyed a certain way after a long past incident though, kinda making you stick out overall you camflouged into the night.

Your pro hero, hot headed, stress filled, boyfriend however, was gold spoon in it's prime. A pro hero who was rich with fame. Oh god he had it all in your eyes. You sometimes cried with tears of joyfulness just at the mere slick thought you were dating him. Not no female who just as good looking, like Creati. No, none of that. It's not like he would change that spite his efforts of frustration with your recent activities these part two years.

The streets are terrific to you for these two years though. Everything is nearly breakable and easily fixed with community money. You would think it was community money atleast. All is good since you made sure to leave your mark with explosives.

Hence your love and passion for your lover, you would smuggle cheap fireworks and set them off at random areas of the late hours. The most recent one being pulled off near a school and and anyone could imagine how the headlines went. The news was erratic with wow and terror of where the explosion even came from, who set it off. Little did they obviously not know —

It was pro hero, Katsuki Bakugous boyfriend.

--

On to other things. Bakugou was in a meeting. Apparently he was being caught up with some warning of a manic villain roaming the streets and city alone.

"So what ?" The room was silent as all eyes transferred front to the back where he sat. Eye bags slightly visible of how stressed he really was after the news confirmed he was.

A co-worker of his, Kirishima raised his hand in apparent anxiousness. "Um", he coughed into his fist before speaking again. "Well, Bakubro he has been going at it for nearly 2 years. No one even know what he looks like, hell man." Starting to get his voice back he finally said, "We probably don't even know if he is a he !" The rooms tension was held up to a few more minutes before Bakugou just got up and walked out.

Another co-worker of his, Mina sparked up and said, "Where are you going !" Her words fell on deaf ears as he was already gone.

Heavy weighted footsteps of his boots were heard along the agency's hallways as people made sure to step out of his way. Grabbing his stuff most important for his next move being his car keys. His brain hurt of how fucking frustrating it is to be held back from work because of his delinquent boyfriend wants to treat the world as a damn playground. He couldn't take it! The stress and anxiety he kept for 2 years was just high enough for him to fuck one out. And he might just.

Just because those assholes didn't know where to find you, doesn't mean he can't. You were always close to a rundown apartment in an alleyway doctoring up a new firework of your own or anything remotely for distruction.

And there you were. In a damn corner completely unaware of the 6 foot presence behind you. Horny and exhausted was a nasty mix for anyone and Bakugou is a worse case as he grabbed you by your arm turning you around.

Alert entered your mind as you nearly, by a measly hair burnt him with a match you had. Why was here was all you could ask yourself, feeling his dramatic hot pants near your neck.

"Why-" No time for speaking when he was highly eager to ravage your ass. You knew how he was from time time since you've met him and because of this you have gotten the worst and the best of him. Sex and life alone was hot and dangerous between the both of you.

His lips marked yours up with a grunt of his own making it seem as if he was feasting on your chapped ones. The dryness making it sting sweetly only adding to the arousal you now felt for yourself. Kissing him. Him not taking his time as he will easily swallow his food without chewing.

"I'm fucking pissed." He snapped. This version of him was the only version you couldn't take. No type of convincing could make an outsider believe your actions to one another was not non consensual. His slightly bigger form compared to your own was trifling as it was pressed up to your chest.

After minutes of searching eachothers mouths with fever and rush he finally stripped himself from his pants. You caught a rare glimpse of how hard he really was. Now this was irritating you at this point. You were no sore loser, but if someone ever took something from you like candy it would easily be endgame.

"Stop fucking pouting. I just got out of a meeting early", he adjusted his position a bit. "To fuck your meddling ass." He closed the space between you two as his cologne and natural scenticked your senses. A shiver went down your spine like a fresh cold drop of sweat as you backed away into the corner. He followed that and smirked. You couldn't be serious.

"Turn around. I wanna see it." He huffed, impatiently. You obviously did what you were told. No time in making him even more pissed. He admired your obedience when it came to your relationship. Only if you could follow that up in turning yourself in. Sadly you were too prideful, probably why you both have an odd ball bond with eachother.

Like lightning your pants were down just like his as he slapped your ass with a strikingly heavy hand. Watching your arse slightly move was guilty enjoyment of his own.

"Ah !" You covered your mouth quickly in fear of his scolding. Number 1 rule of him when frustrated was that on all accounts. Don't. Fucking. Make. A. Peep. That reminder did not fail to make you turn back with pleading eyes with him looking back at you with pliant disbelief.

"Yer' really trying to fuckin' test me, yeah ?" He asked. Not loud how he usually is, but a lower octave with a nonchalant expression. He was tired. Tired of your prideful denial of going to jail. Tired of these late damn meetings at the agency. Tired of his parents calling him because he was doing this to himself. He was fucking exhausted of it all. His top tier was you especially.

☆

That's completely fine though. He can sex all of this out on his handsome villain boyfriend.

Y/N fucking L/N.

I hope this is fine, again I'm not a dark blog so if I wrote this along with the req it would get a bit dark. { I love dark blogs so it would be a whole series 💀. }