#make it make sense. literally
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genuinely though. i'm realising that i only have two modes of living and they're busy 24/7 and depression spiral. in principle i love having loads of free time but it is straight up not good for me!! which sucks!!
#like last summer i wrote fuckall and was unemployed#this summer i work 5 days a week + do my volunteering and i'm still finding time to write!! i haven't been this creative in years!!#make it make sense. literally#like one one hand i am actively making time for writing. but why couldn't i do that when i had free time huh??#what is annoying me is how hard i'm finding it to stick to one project. started another one today bringing the total to seven <3#i don't think it will stick honestly. it's another one from the big universe i've got n they tend to fizzle out fast#the two i enjoyed the most were deep blues aka fairywip and sadie & star. which are the only two that were completely new#not reworks of old ideas. but sadie and star has the visual element that i'm not rlly equipped for yet#fairywip fizzled out bc it started feeling really excessively tropey n teenage edgy. that's the only way i can put it#i was really happy with the characters for that one though. and the worldbuilding. so i might try reworking that one?? hmm. choices choices#morganposting
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please i love you i'm begging you bring back suspension of disbelief bring back trusting the audience like. i cannot handle any more dialogue that sounds like a legal document. "hello, i am here to talk to you about the incident from a few minutes ago, because i feel you might be unwell, and i am invested in your personal wellbeing." "thank you, i am unwell because the incident was hurtful to me due to my childhood, which was bad." I CANT!!!!
do you know how many people are mad that authors use "growled" as a word for "said"? it's just poetics! they do not literally mean "growled," it's just a common replacement for "said with force but in a low tone." it's normal! do you hear me!! help me i love you please let me out of here!!!
#i am so sick of writers having to anticipate the most boring#bad-faith readings of their work. i am like - if you use cheese as a currency#okay! as long as the world makes sense to me: cool. cheese tax. moving on.#my job as the reader is to suspend my disbelief and say okay! i am so sick of like#fanfiction authors having to write dissertations#because they had an interesting idea they'd like to try out!!!#just write it! if it doesn't make sense that's someone else's problem!!!#PS OP is autistic. yes sometimes i take things literally at first glance. then i think about it lol#this is so clearly not about accessibility etc. it's about like. girl even i an autistic person#am able to understand ''they probably didn't mean his eyes darkened LITERALLY''
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I gotta settle a debate between me and two of my siblings:
(I'm making an updated poll, cause I forgot that lots of people listen to entire albums)
#polls#tumblr poll#tumblr polls#music#music playlists#music playlist#playlists#please add on to this#feel free to add on to this#feel free to add tags#like literally how do you decide what music fits what tasks?#it just doesn't make sense
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You know what? Fuck it.
Githyanki Cleric of Selune
Romance~
#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate iii#bg3 memes#shadowheart#bg3 tav#tav#my tav#honestly tho i really like her design#also it makes sense that gith would worship selune#since lae'zel is literally from the tears of selune#like#why not
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I think the reason there isn't this big outcry around seemingly random transwomen getting banned is because the fucking CEO of tumblr isn't making it into a big spectacle like he did with predstrogen. Theyre just fucking banning tgirls quietly and ofc its only other tgirls who are noticing and speaking up about it
#literally wtf is tumblr doing#i truly dont get it#like the only thing that would make it make sense is that tumblr staff legit just fucking hate transwomen and are terfs
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Thinking a LOT about Lucifer in the latest Hazbin episode. Idk what I was expecting but not this??
As I was watching my immediate thought was just "huh... Lucifer is kinda of weird..." but as the episode went on I realized the issue
the dude is off the chain depressed, like he says it as a joke but holy cow it is SO BAD
He's manically just creating rubber ducks cuz his daughter really like it that one time but it's empty, it's never good enough but he keeps doing it, maybe cuz he doesn't know how to pass the time otherwise.
like I get the feeling he HAS better things he SHOULD be doing than making rubber duck after rubber duck. At first I was like, "Bruh why isn't the king of hell doing anything?" aaaaand then it became clear...
The dude is disassociating so bad he can barely hold a conversation let alone remember information. He clearly WANTS to, he wants to be involved with his daughter so bad, he wants to care about the things she's doing so bad, but his depression keeps interfering. It's like he can only hear every other word and he grasps onto the ones he does hear semi-out of context. Like you can see every time he catches something that he hadn't before and he just "well shit I didn't catch that part"
and that's why he reacts so weird when people talk to him. He is struggling so bad to engage with the conversation he's only getting 50% of it
does that look like the face of a man who knows what the hell the conversation is even about??? he is STRUGGLING
like Charlie spent so long telling him about the hotel, and he STILL didn't understand what she wanted. Yeah it comes off as ditzy but literally I've been in that position where your brain just "nope, not doing this right now" and nerfs your conversation comprehension. So as someone who's BEEN in that position, to me it feels exactly like what he's dealing with. He's sorta engaged with the conversation, but only as much as his brain will allow
For example, when I'm dealing with this, this is what someone talking to me feels like this where the crossed out parts are what I missed and bold is what I catch, "Hey! You know I was thinking for dinner we could either make some chicken with rice? But if you don't feel like cooking, pasta is super easy and you love that right? What do you want to do?" you can kinda get that someone is trying to talk to you about dinner, and towards the end you get the impression that they asked something that needs your input so you can decently put 2 and 2 together and try and pass off, but crucial bits were left out, I would have no idea that either chicken or pasta is in the conversation only having heard "rice". When someone is just talking at me, I can decently pass off as being engaged but the second I'm required to participate in the conversation I'm screwed. Seem familiar? At which point I have 2 options, try to give a bullshit answer, or admit that I missed what they were saying and ask them to repeat
Lucifer, unfortunately, is trying so damn hard to hide that he's dealing with like 24/7 dissociation, so he can't admit that he's missing entire chunks of the conversation, hence his really weird replies. He does eventually get the full picture and then he and Charlie start having the real conversation
Also, the Alastor/Lucifer rivalry was hilarious but also really indicative of more of what Lucifer is dealing with
Alastor is, unfortunately, really good at picking up people's insecurities, and thanks to Charlie's description earlier and watching Lucifer clearly trying to overcompensate, he immediately picks up on the fact that Lucifer KNOWS he struggles to be a good dad (we know cuz it's cuz of the depression, hard to be engaged when your brain keeps turning off) and decides to rub salt in the wound by pretending he's been acting as a surrogate father to Charlie. Now why Alastor decided to pick a fight with the king of hell is beyond me, I do not understand Alastor (and I LIKE IT) (maybe it's cuz Alastor thinks he's hot shit and was expecting Lucifer to at least have heard of him but Lucifer just treats him like a nobody? who knows)(why would Lucifer listen to radio anyways when he can't even pay attention to a conversation it'd just be white noise)
But yeah I just was expecting someone who oozed either charisma or presence and instead I got a depressed dad who's dissociating so bad he can barely function and be present in his life. The only thing it seems he CAN do is make rubber ducks cuz his daughter really liked it that one time
Idk Lucifer is tragic to me. Whatever the full details of what heavan did to him absolutely broke him and he can't deal with it. He's aware of it, and he doesn't know how to fix it, so he tries to over compensate and sorta makes an ass out of himself but no one says or does anything cuz this guy is supposed to be THE king of hell
Suddenly it's making a lot more sense why he just rolls over and lets heaven do what it wants and even told Charlie to go in his place the start of the show. He's not in any headspace to hold a basic conversation let alone negotiate! He didn't even know who Alastor was, he's been so out of touch
idk I like him, he seems sweet, I hope Charlie brings some light back into his life. He really needs to get out of that rubber duck room
#hazbin spoilers#hazbin hotel#lucifer#lucifer morningstar#analysis#dissociation#look idk what to tell you all#I watched the episode and everything makes so much more sense#when you realize he's only intaking like 50-60% of the conversations#he's not bad at listening his brain is literally preventing him from getting everything#literally I've been there#the difference between him and me tho#is that he can't show it#he's the king of hell#he has to bluff his way through conversations#but yeah literally rewatch the episode with this in mind#and watch him reply to the things he DID catch#anyways#NEW BLORBO????#who'd've thought I would go into Hazbin Hotel#and come out with freaking LUCIFER as my favorite character#I love him#he's so sad
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brain please wake up and draw
bonus :
#mcu#marvel cinematic universe#xmen#xmen movies#xmen dofp#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#logan howlett#wolverine#snap sketches#usually i have a vague sense of a scenario or 'plot' behind my doodles but i do not have one !!!!#i just needed to draw something to get my brain going so i can focus on bigger things i wanted to draw#im like 50/50 on if i particularly like this BUT it did well for a warm up so im content with it#at least the logan doodle is making me chortle to myself velkvjeal#alright bye im gonna go think my friend cancelled our plans so i have a lot more time before i watch speak no evil#heres to hoping i get. literally anything done vjAEK
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Freddy never questioned Gregory's actions in FNAF..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf gregory#glamrock freddy#montgomery gator#security breach#fnaf fanart#LIKE LITERALLY OKAY#I’ve been playing security breach and i was reminded how like#Gregory just lies to Freddy outright and Freddy trusts him each time#like Gregory will have Roxy’s eyes and say he just found em and Freddy like ight makes sense BAHAH#Freddy is maybe too trusting for his own good#he just can’t see his little superstar being a troublemaker#RIP to Monty Freddy simply believes Gregory more 💚
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Sometimes being an artist is feeling like a baker seeing a chemist making the deadliest liquid in the world and wishing you could make the deadliest liquid as well but you're a baker, not a chemist, and then you feel like your bread is worthless
#my stupid thoughts#this doesn't make any sense and that's the whole point#sometimes you see cool art and you love it and wish you could do something as cools as that#but it's simply *not* your style at all#and you end up thinking what you make is bad though it's not#it's literally just different#anyway that's me I'm the baker
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really fun autism and chronic illness cycle 😀👍👍
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even if I came to love humanity in the end, there’s no proof I was ever here, right?
#omniscient reader's viewpoint#orv#kim dokja#yoo joonghyuk#my art#slow downer lyrics..i am applying them to dokja#please..i cant put the entire song lyrics but my god#'i called out an incoherent name in this new old world'#'i loiter in paradise the hope i was accustomed to blocked off my path of retreat'#literally agonised me#maybe this doesnt even make sense#the yjhs standing on the subway yellow lines overlooking the edge#but i kinda lost the plot here#its ok#havent even finished orv yet but whenever i think about the very concept of dokja i lowkey kms in my head for 80000 years#also 52hz's 'a dreamless sleep'#i guess just the sense of being untethered to the world with just this one thing keeping you still here#hits me hard#wait i linked the original slow downer version but obviously (see username) the niigo one is leagues better
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hard 2 explain but. barbie movie is kind of like astrology. if you're normal yes we can have a conversation about how it's def not the epitome of feminist praxis but was fun & largely harmless. if ur a weirdo about it & use it as an excuse to mock women: congratulations it's now my single favorite movie and i love it and nothing is wrong with it literally at all and it's actually better than any movie ever made
#does this make sense#how ppl respond to other ppl liking certain things .... like girl it's harmless why do u care#like literally what badge are you winning. so what that ppl are just having fun
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Simon petrikov coping FAIL compilation
#HNNNGGGNNN!! SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT EPISODE 2……#my art#adventure time#fionna and cake#simon petrikov#Fionna and cake spoilers#<- kind of??? maybe not really#I’m so glad ep 2 gave us some insight to that scene in obsidian#it’s such a shift from Simon saying he’d literally rather DIE than be the ice king again#BUT IT MAKES SENSE!#nostalgia can twist your perception of the past#and then mix that in with a metric ton of trauma !#‘things were simpler back then’#SIMON 99.5% OF YOUR LIFE AS ICE KING WAS AWFUL….#I mean in the later seasons he does gradually gain acceptance and fit in with the others#but that just makes the CURRENT simons situation so much sadder it’s like he’s back at square 1 in some ways#WILL THE ISOLATION EVER END?#OK IM DONE RANTING IN THE TAGS
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i have suddenly become obsessed with a theme that HoO established but never proceeded to extrapolate on, which is:
You are Percy Jackson, and you have been swapped with a boy who was allegedly everyone's favorite person, but they have decided to replace him with you. They just met you. You stand next to his best friend and the people he's known his entire life. In his home. In his cloak. In his place. They stopped looking for him.
You are Jason Grace, and you have just found out you have a long lost sister who completely replaced you in her life with this girl you just met. Your lives and personalities are mirrors. She is you, living the life you were robbed of.
You are Annabeth Chase, and you have just become starkly aware that you have been inhabiting the void left behind by your best friend's long lost brother. You and Luke were just replacements for him. Now you have to look him in the eyes when he has nothing and know you took that life from him.
You are Piper McLean, and you have just found out your relationship is fake and built entirely on the memories of Annabeth Chase. You have been given a boyfriend when hers has been taken away. You have no idea how much of it is real or not but regardless you feel like if your relationship isn't exactly in their image that you have failed.
You are Leo Valdez, and you have just learned that you are the echo of your great-grandfather. You are not your own person. You just exist to be a mirror of him. A doppelganger. An actor and stunt double facing all the danger he never had to but wearing his face. To be there for his best friend decades later simply because he couldn't. You are playing a role. A seventh wheel and a pawn for a goddess who carefully sculpted your entire life for her own purposes.
You are Hazel Levesque, and the only reason you are alive is because your brother couldn't save your his sister. You are a consolation prize. An apology. Your existence here is misplaced in every way but you inhabit it anyways.
You are Frank Zhang, and you are a shapeshifter. Inhabiting your own body feels strange and clumsy when you could be literally anything at any time. You are anything and everything and live your life with the simple certainty of knowing exactly how you will die.
#pjo#hoo#heroes of olympus#percy jackson#riordanverse#jason grace#annabeth chase#piper mclean#leo valdez#hazel levesque#frank zhang#meta#analysis#me shaking hoo: what if we actually address the interpersonal dynamics of the characters. please. please. please. please.#frank is the only person on the boat not having an identity crisis tied to another member of the crew somehow and that is FASCINATING#but also WHERE is all the interpersonal literally anything. hello. please. making grabby hands. everybody identity crisis go.#i wanna see the entire argo ii crew stumbling through trying to figure out their places and senses of self!!!!!#particularly in relation to each other!!!!! we get snippets but we rarely ever get the full thing or a resolution!!!#like. HELLO??? Piper acknowledging that her relationship with Jason is artificially sculpted in the image of Annabeth and Percy???#and that her ideals of what Jason and her can be are just that she feels like they need to be like what Percy and Annabeth have????#and thats just DROPPED COMPLETELY????#poor Jason is getting replaced twice. Leo is not his own person.#Hazel at least gets the resolution that Nico does not truly see her as a consolation prize#but Annabeth gets to be hit with the like EIGHT YEAR DELAY of learning the place she inhabits in Thalia's life is the echo of someone else#cause like. yeah she knew Thalia had lost her brother but i dont think it clicked for her until she met Jason that oh. she *replaced* him#Frank at least has some certainty about his identity in one aspect (his curse). everybody else is floundering a bit#except for maybe Percy but its kind of the camps of ''i replaced this person and it weighs on me'' versus ''i have been replaced''
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percy, mentally ill: I feel like I deserve to die. It's a punishment because im a horrible person. Does that sound crazy?
jason, also mentally ill: No that tracks bro samesies
#just two dumb bitches telling each other /exaaaaactly/#that scene is boo is so funny because it fully treats it as if Percy can read Jason's thoughts the way the reader can#because from Jason's pov it's Percy saying that he thinks deserves to die as a punishment for doing something so terrible#and then Jason THINKS about times when he also felt helpless and wanted to give up and die#and he's literally sympathizing with Percy#but VERBALLY Jason's like: no that's not crazy that makes sense#so now think of this convo from Percy's pov#Percy: I'm a horrible person who deserves to die#Jason: Yeah that makes sense#and then Percy GOES QUIET#it literally reads like Jason affirms Percy's worst thoughts alkfjalkdjflskdjg#its sooo fucking funny in the worst way#pjo#percy jackson#jason grace#mine
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the number of afab people replying to the pain poll going "yeah I've broken limbs and had 1st degree burns and given birth but nothing tops my menstrual pain" is so fucked up it is unbelievable. and I was right there with everyone else until I stumbled on a low dose progestin regimen that just made me stop menstruating. which I would recommend to everyone except it just doesn't work for everyone. ask your doc about it though, it won't cause permanent side effects or injury to try it out. i take norethindrone 2.5mg 2x/day. this dose has to be different for each patient to work correctly, that's just what I take. there's some research to suggest synthetic progesterone like norethindrone is carcinogenic so I'm going to look into switching. anyway i just got extremely lucky. there is seriously nothing like it. it was the worst pain I ever felt until the urology incident and frankly I think the menstrual pain was already a factor in the outcome of the urology incident
#it cannot be normal human physiology to have a large percentage of your childbearing population literally crippled with pain every month#that doesbt make sense#there are a few theories about this and one is that environmental toxins have really done a number on our reproductive health#another theory is that afabs just didn't used to menstruate much due to time spent pregnant + lactating#and also due to later puberty and earlier menopause#“women's troubles” are referred to in old writings but usually a lot less descriptively than is useful#so were just not sure if period pain has actually gotten worse or not#menstruation#blog#sickposting
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