#major basic protein

[askmagus]

Hair routine when??? Skin routine when?? Life routine when????????

they're just joking. probably

[carmenberzattosgf]

NSFW alphabet : carmen berzatto

Content: fem reader, pure filth, size kink (easily skippable), daddy kink (easily skippable), dom/sub dynamics,

Word count: 5605

A/N: This is really filthy. I got a bit carried away as you can tell by the word count. Enjoy ! <<3

A = Aftercare (What they're like after sex)

He’s a clinger. Carmy gets needy and touchy after sex, so he’s not going to leave your side. After normal sex, he lays on top of you for awhile because he loves the closeness of the physical contact. He’s pressing kisses all over your neck and mumbling how much he loves you over and over again. When it’s finally time to get up, he’s bringing a warm cloth from the bathroom to clean up between your legs. He’s so sweet and tender in moments like this, diligent in cleaning up the cum from your thighs. 

After a dom/sub type of scene, Carmy takes such good care of you. Beforehand he stashes everything he needs beside the bed so he doesn’t have to leave you afterwards. He stores the supplies in a wicker bin: pH balanced sensitive skin-safe wipes, a bottle of water, protein bars and other snacks (i.e chocolate), soothing ointment, your favorite t-shirt of his, hair ties, and even one of those instant ice packs if you need it. 

If you’re in that floaty place, he narrates every single thing he’s doing. Even though you can’t speak, he still wants to make sure you’re aware of what he’s doing before he does it.

“Okay, baby I’mma put your hair up into a messy bun to get it off your neck.”

“It’s going to be a little bit cold at first but I’m using these wipes to clean up between your legs.”

“I’m going to roll you over so I can take care of your bottom, and put some ointment on for you. I’ve already got a pillow to support your stomach.”

Carmy is so gentle while he takes care of you. It’s his favorite part of a scene, not getting off, but tending to you.

“Sweetheart, I need you to try and sit up so you can take some sips of water. Can you do that for me?” 

You’re stubborn and just wanna fall asleep in that floaty place so Carmen literally has to prop you up with pillows and force a straw between your lips. 

“Three big sips—there we go. Atta girl, good job.”

The best part of aftercare is saved for last, cuddling. Carmy lays you on top of his chest so you’re not laying on your raw backside, and softly pets your hair until you fall asleep. 

B = Body Part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

He likes his hands. They do everything for him in the kitchen. They’re skilled and precise. Carmy is not the type of guy to be really into parts of his body, but his hands are alright. 

Now for you, he genuinely loves all of your body. Your face, your eyes, everything. However, he’s a major boob guy. He likes them in all sizes. He just loves tits (peep the mommy issues). One of his favorite parts of sex is getting to leave bite marks all over your chest. Send him a nude with your tits in it? Bye! He’s a goner. 

Thighs come in close second. He grips your thighs so hard during sex that sometimes you can make out small finger sized bruises in the mirror afterwards. Much like your boobs, he loves to mark up your thighs with hickies. He knows that he’s the only one that gets to see those marks so he leaves a bunch. 

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically)

He’s obsessed with cumming inside of you. The sight of his cum dripping out of your cunt for the first time permanently rewires his brain. He’s convinced there’s no better feeling that filling you up with his cum. He’s nasty about it too, pressing any that has dripped out of you back into your cunt with his fingers. 

“Gotta keep you nice and filled up for me. I don’t want anything to go to waste. Here—“ He reaches for a pillow and lifts up your hips, placing it under your back. “There we go. Now it can’t spill out.” 

If he can’t cum inside of you, he cums on your stomach. The thing about Carmy is that he cums a lot, like the volume is massive. When he cums on your stomach, you’re covered in him. He’ll be fisting his cock for a good twenty seconds before the spurts of cum finally slow down. It’s all over you, dripping off of your hips onto the sheets. The first thing Carmy does is reach over for his phone on the bedside table. He takes a picture of you from the neck down, completely painted with white. The picture immediately goes into his locked camera folder. 

Finally, Carmy would rather cum in your mouth than on your face. He doesn’t want to get any in your eye. He’s truly a sweetheart (sometimes). Once, you stuck out your tongue full of cum for him, and his hard on came right back. His body was ready to go again after seeing his cum drip off of your tongue, down your neck, and into your cleavage. He’s a simple man at heart.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He really wants to try shibari with you, like really bad. He’s been researching heavily into it, about all of the knots and the types of rope. He doesn’t want to get into serious stuff like suspension, but he wants to cover your body in pretty and elaborate knots. Carmy’s mainly focused on the types of shibari that restrains your arms behind your back, making your chest jut out. He wants to surround your breasts with intricate knots. He might mess around with some patterns on your hips and thighs, but he’d rather tie up your arms, not your legs.  

He’s drawn to shibari because it’s almost mixing art intimacy ( because shibari doesn’t have to involve sex or pleasure). It’s a time that he can spend getting close to you while you’re letting go and trusting him completely. The tying up process isn’t short; it can take awhile. He thinks it would make your relationship stronger, and also let him be dominate in a way that’s different from just straight up sex. 

It will take him a very very long time to ever bring it up to you, though. He doesn’t want to freak you out or make you uncomfortable. He understands how much control a person is giving up when someone restrains them. 

In all seriousness, you probably ask him about it after you see a tab open on his laptop. He’s already left for work for the day and forgot to close out the tab. You grab his laptop, wanting to do the daily mini, and when you open it up, you’re met with an in depth rope tying tutorial. 

You decide to tread carefully on the topic when he gets home from work that day, since it seems like he was keeping it a secret. Once he’s gotten a shower, Carmy curls up with you on the couch to watch a little tv before going to bed. 

“I saw something interesting today, Carm.”

“Yeah? What might that be, baby?”

“Well, I was using your laptop to do the daily mini like I always do, and I saw a tab pulled up. Something to do with ropes?” Carmy instantly tenses up like he’s entered freeze mode. 

“Oh—uh, uhm. Sorry you’re probably like—freaked out now and—“ Carmy says quickly, without taking a breath. He’s on the verge of hyperventilating. 

“Baby, baby. Calm down. You’re all good. Nothing to be embarrassed about.” You start to comb through his hair with your fingers, massaging at his scalp in a way that relaxes him. “Why don’t you tell me all about it, yeah?” 

He does just that, explaining shibari and all the research he’s done into it. Carmy’s a bit surprised when you agree to it without any hesitation. 

“You know you don’t have do to this for me. I’m not going to be upset if you say no.”

“I trust you, Carmen. I love you and I know you’ll take care of me and keep me safe. If I don’t like it I’ll be honest with you.”

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they're doing?)

This one is going to heavily depend on when you get into a relationship with Carmy. When he’s newly in New York, trying to become the greatest chef of all time? He’s horribly inexperienced. He barely knows how to interact with the opposite sex without getting red in the face. However, he’s eager to learn! He might not know exactly what he’s doing in the moment with you, but he wants you to feel good. He’s determined to make you orgasm. He asks what feels good and what doesn’t feel good. Carmy’s not afraid to ask you questions during sex either.  

Now if you meet him after he’s back in Chicago, he has more experience under his belt. New York and all of the places he traveled to during those years away from home gave him opportunities to become more confident with sex. Although, he still gets nervous about it, especially when he’s sleeping with someone for the first time. The awkwardness hasn’t gone away completely. 

At this point in your relationship with Carmy, he knows what he’s doing. He pays attention to your body and the way you react to his touch. Carmy learns what you like before you even have the chance to tell him. Every touch of his hands is purposeful to bring you pleasure. 

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying)

Missionary. No question about it. He wants to be able to look at you while he fucks you. He loves the closeness of the position, getting to feel your legs wrapped around his waist. It’s so intimate, and Carmy craves that intimacy. His favorite part of missionary is when you both are so close to the edge, with your foreheads resting against each other. He gets to look in your eyes and praise you. “You’re so pretty. So fucking gorgeous—fuck, baby.” 

“Taking me so well— always take me so well.” “Love you, love you, love you so much.” 

Oh, and his other favorite part about missionary is getting to kiss you. He fucking loves kissing you during sex. Sure, it’s messy, with teeth and lips clashing together half the time, but he cannot get enough of your mouth. That moment when you have to break the kiss to moan out because of how good he feels inside of you is what he loves about kissing you in missionary. 

Carmy also enjoys anything that lets him see your face. With your legs over each of his shoulders, he’s found he can hit even deeper inside of you. Don’t worry, he puts a small pillow underneath the small of your back to make you comfortable. The angle makes your eyes roll back. 

If he’s honest with himself he fucking loves the position where he practically forces your thighs to meet your chest. His cock his so fucking deep inside of you he just has to make comments about it. “That too deep? Yeah? Can you feel me in your stomach?” Oh, and when he starts pressing his hand on your lower stomach so you can feel him moving in and out of you? The sensation is almost too much. 

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

This is Carmen Berzatto here. He’s so serious about everything, and that applies to sex, too. He’s just not the type to joke around during sex. He craves the intimacy of sex and doesn’t want to make light of the connection. That doesn’t mean sex with Carmy is overly serious. More so that he would rather not incorporate humor into sex. 

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Carmy is so neat and meticulous. He literally cuts pieces of tape with a knife so it has a clean edge. With all things considered, he keeps it neat downstairs. Definitely not bald, but he trims up frequently. He cannot stand it when it’s crazy down there. 

For his partner? He does not give a fuck about the grooming of down there. Not one single bit. Do whatever you want and he will still be a happy man. 

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.)

So intimate. Genuinely, he’s so romantic. Carmy’s kissing all over your body, praising every inch of your skin. It’s honestly jarring at first how intimate and intense he can be in the bedroom. Carmy puts his all into sex, much like he puts his all into the kitchen. He holds you so close the entire time. If you’re riding him on the couch? Yeah, he’s got both arms wrapped around you so your chest is pressed to his. This lets him make eye contact if he wants, or lets him moan into the crook of your neck. Carmy literally wants as much of his skin touching yours as possible during sex. Even if he has you on your stomach, he’s not going to settle for just doggy style because there’s not enough contact. Instead he’s leaning over you holding you up so your back presses against his chest. He sloppily kisses your shoulders and the back of your neck from this position. 

Let’s talk about eye contact—he’s staring right through you. He’s just so observant and doesn’t want to miss a single expression you make. God, the look in his eyes during sex practically puts you under a spell. He looks down at you through the bottom of his eyes with blown out pupils. 

So yeah Carmy makes sex extremely intimate every time without fail. 

J = Jack off (Masturbation Headcanon)

Most of the time when Carmy jacks off it’s all about efficiency. He’s not trying to take time out of his day to get off. He’s the type to get off in the shower after work. It’s quick and rough, but he knows how to get himself off fast. 

Now, when you first come into his life? His routine changes a bit. Before you two start dating, Carmy masturbates to the idea of you. He honestly hates himself a bit for it, but it happens on accident. 

He hops out of the shower after work, puts on a pair of boxer briefs, and sits down on his couch. He didn’t touch himself in the shower, wanting to build up the tension a little bit.

When Carmy starts touching himself, his hands move slowly. Recently, he’s learned how much he likes teasing himself. So, he palms over his covered length, applying the right amount of pressure to make his hips twitch. Without even realizing it, Carmy’s mind wanders to you. 

You’ve been plaguing his mind all week long in the kitchen. Sydney assigned your prep to be right next to his, and he hasn’t been able to keep his mind off of you. In the kitchen, he keeps getting distracted by your pretty smile, and by the little jokes you make during the lunch rush. 

Gradually, the hand steadily pressing down on his hard length isn’t his own anymore. Instead he pictures your hand as the one working on him; that delicate, dainty hand of yours he’s watched prep food all week. 

Carmy gives up on teasing himself once the images of you pop into his head. He hastily pushes down his boxers to his thighs. The tip of his cock leaks with precum, dripping onto his length. Carmy’s head falls back in a choked moan when he finally grips himself. His heart races as he gently strokes his cock. It’s much different from his usual fast pace, but he’s trying to picture how you would do it; on how your hands would be so delicate compared to his callused ones. Carmy wonders if you would tease him, or if you would be dead set on bringing him to orgasm quickly. 

It’s a slippery slope when Carmen starts to picture you taking his cock into your mouth. His hand starts to pump faster as the image grows more vivid in his mind. He’s lost the gentleness of his movements, but he doesn’t care. The only thing he cares about is the vision of you on your knees in front of him. Your lips are swollen as they stretch around his cock. He thinks about the sounds you would make—how you would moan with his dick taking up your mouth. Spit would dribble from your lips onto your chin as you bob your head on his length. What brings him to the edge, though, is the idea of fucking your face. He would hold your head delicately in his hands, but thrust with his hips deep into your throat. Tears would slip from your eyes as he shoves you all the way down so your nose meets the skin above his dick. 

Carmy cums hard all over his stomach, wishing it was your throat instead. He swears he blacks out for a second from the pleasure. When the post orgasm clarity hits, he hastily cleans himself up. Carmy tells himself he won’t do it again, picture you while he’s masturbating, but he knows that’s a load of bullshit. 

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Breeding— Carmy and breeding go together like peanut butter and jelly. It’s why he’s always cumming inside of you. He wants to show everyone your his, and what’s a better way than knocking you up with his kid? He’s low key obsessed with the idea of getting you pregnant. 

Overstimulation— Carmy’s a soft dom. He wants to make you cum over and over and over again before he even thinks about orgasming. His goal is for your head to be spinning by the end of it. 

Spanking— Carmy’s into spanking, okay? However, before he even thinks about doing it in the bedroom he talks to you about it multiple times at length. He clarifies a safe word with you and establishes your limits. You do the same thing with him because safe words and boundaries go both ways! Normally, he’s only going to spank you as a punishment for something. The way you whimper and moan in his lap as he spanks you makes him so hard. It honestly gives Carmy a rush to see you dripping from his hand coming down on your ass. 

Size kink— It’s definitely arises from insecurities about his height, let’s be honest here. Regardless of your height though, Carmy just likes feeling that he’s bigger than you. It’s why he’s so ripped. No matter how tall you are he’s got enough muscle to hold you down in bed. Now, if you are shorter than him, even better. 

The size kink appears in other ways other than just pure body size. For one, it drives him crazy how much smaller your hands are compared to his. Seeing your dainty hand wrapped around his cock drives Carmy up the wall. You can barely wrap your fingers all the way around his length. 

He loves to watch as your cunt takes his fingers. They’re so much wider and longer than your own, so he goes slow. 

Finally, his size kink comes into play most when he’s fucking you. He’s soothing you while he works his cock into your cunt. Once he’s all the way in, he can’t help but point out of the sight of him inside of you. “Look. You see that?” Carmy asks while drawing your attention to the small bulge in you stomach, right above your mound. It’s hard to see when he’s not moving, so he lightly thrusts in deeper so the bulge moves. 

“F-fuck, yeah— I can see that,” you whine in response. Carmy’s hand moves over the bulge and he presses down, hard, before he starts rolling his hips into you at a quick pace. 

“Such a good girl taking my cock like this. I’m surprised it even fit, baby. Taking me so fucking well.”

Praise— He loves giving praise and being praised. He’s calling you everything. His love, his good girl, his princess, his baby. He’s telling you how good you’re doing for him, and how perfect you are for him. 

“Made for me. You know that? Fucking perfect.”

“You’re so pretty. My pretty girl.” 

“I love you so much. Fuck—you feel so good, squeezing me like that—shit.”

And you offer praise back in return because goodness knows Carmy needs to hear it after all those years being insulted in the kitchen. 

“You’re so pretty, too. You make me feel so good, Carmy.”

“Love these muscles,” you say while feeling his abs as he thrusts into you. “So hot how strong you are, baby.” Those types of comments from you make his brain short circuit. 

Daddy kink— Okay, nothing turns him on more than being called daddy. It just, does something to his brain. A pretty girl like you? Calling him daddy? Begging him to fuck you? Yeah, he’s close to cumming in his pants from that. It’s just the soft dom thing he has going for him. He wants to take care of you in every way possible, make you feel good, and provide for you. 

“Please daddy, need you,” you beg. 

“I got you sweet girl. Daddy’s going to take care of you, don’t worry.”

L= Location (Favourite places to do the do)

He prefers a good old mattress. It’s basic but it’s private and comfortable. Carmy also likes fucking on a couch, too. Mainly because if he’s started getting hot and heavy on a couch, he’d rather fuck you there than carry you to the bedroom. He’s all about efficiency!

Part of him enjoys fucking at the restaurant. Not all the time, though, but there’s something about fucking you in a locked office that really gets him going. He has to keep his palm clasped over your mouth to keep you quiet. Whenever he has sex with you at the restaurant, it’s always fast, rough, and passionate. Usually, it’s to release stress, but even if it’s not, you’re going to have trouble walking straight afterwards. Richie makes an all knowing face when you walk out of the office, and heat builds up in your cheeks as you get out of the front doors as fast as possible. 

Oh, and Carmy loves to get on his knees and eat you out while you’re sitting on the kitchen counter at his apartment. 

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Anything. Anything at all. When he’s into someone, he’s into them. Your touch alone can be enough to turn him on. 

With that being said, there are some specific things that drive Carmy crazy. For one, you wearing his clothes. 

One time you walked into the Bear before opening hours wearing one of his classic white t-shirts. He thought he was about to have a brain aneurysm seeing you in his clothes. The way the fabric draped over your body— yeah he had to take you back into the office as soon as you walked into the restaurant. 

Speaking of clothes, dresses and skirts are his favorite articles of clothing on you. He thinks that you look so very pretty in them, and he also likes the easy access. 

As mentioned in K, if you whisper anything in his ear involving the word “daddy”, he’s dragging you off somewhere immediately. 

Thinking about this specifically at some kind of chefs’ gala. Carmen’s been in a circle of chefs from around the area talking for what feels like hours, now. All you want to do right now is go home. You make your way up to Carmy, and balance on your tiptoes to whisper in his ear. “Are you going to be done soon, daddy? I’d rather go home and spend time with you.”

You can see the way Carmy’s hands tighten around the glass in his hand before he speaks to the people around him. “If you’ll excuse me, folks. My girl isn’t feeling well so I’m going to take her home. Glad to have gotten to talk to you all.”

Yeah, Carmy drives to the darkest part of the parking lot and tells you to get into the back seat. He can’t wait until he gets home to fuck your brains out. 

N = No (Something they wouldn't do, turn-offs)

Anything that would actually hurt you. He limits stuff like spanking to just his hand. He refused to use anything else for impact play. He won’t do CNC ever. Like never ever. 

Carmy also won’t be a full on sub himself. He loves control, and needs to be in control to have a good time. The idea of losing control and being tied up is enough to send him into a panic attack.  

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Carmy loves eating pussy. He wants to stay in between your legs all day long. He won’t shut up about how good you taste. “So good, baby. Wanna taste some?” He’ll say before pressing a soaking wet finger to your lips. 

There’s so much to say about munch Carmen. He’s so fucking good at it, too. He alternates between licking and sucking at your clit in a way that makes your vision go blurry. He knows enough about your anatomy to pull back the hood with his thumb so he can suck right on the exposed bud. The first time he does it, you swear stars explode in your field of vision. 

He just LOVES eating you out! He gets to look up at you with those big blue eyes as you writhe against his face in pleasure. It makes him feel useful and needed, if he’s being honest. He could probably cum just from eating you out. The feeling of your fingers tugging in his hair, the sounds of your cries in his ears, and the pressure of your thighs closing around his head makes Carmy moan into your cunt like a madman. 

So yeah Carmy prefers to give head, but that doesn’t mean he’ll stop you from blowing him. He tends to not last as long, though. Your warm mouth around him, sucking and licking at his tip. The way your take him all the way back in your throat. Fuck— the feeling of you gagging around him as his cock hits the back of your throat. He’s praising you the entire time, too. 

“Look at you—fuck. Taking my cock in that pretty mouth of yours so well.”

“So good, baby. So fucking good with your mouth—holy shit.”

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

The answer is all of the above. Most of the time he prefers to take his time with you because he wants to savor the moment with you. Carmy’s favorite way to fuck you is slow and deep. He wants you to feel him all the way in your stomach. If he’s in a mood, however, he’s all for being fast and rough. Ultimately his pace is going to be whatever gets you off the best. 

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Quickies aren’t his favorite thing ever, but he has them often. He hates how busy his work is purely because it prevents him from having  sex with you as often and as long as he would like to. Quickies usually happen at the restaurant in his office. That’s where a fast and rough pace comes into play, because there’s one goal in mind; Get off, and get off fast before someone notices. If there’s just way too many people in the restaurant, he’s not opposed to taking you in the backseat of his car for a quick fuck. 

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

Oh he’s for sure open to experimenting in the bedroom. He will try just about anything that you’re willing to try. 

As for risks, he’s down to take calculated risks. However, once he fucked you in the restaurant bathroom while the place was still the beef because the office didn’t have a lock (He fixed that during the remodel). It was all going great until Fak started banging on the door shouting that he was about to piss himself. Real mood killer. Now, Carmy is more careful about the risks he takes. 

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

Carmy can last for quite awhile. He has so much pent up energy that he can keep going and going. He won’t admit it, but he one hundred percent thinks about his time at Noma to keep himself from cumming. He only has to do it sometimes, though. 

Additionally, Carmy is a two rounds max kind of a guy. There’s just only so many times that he can cum before he’s going to pass out from exhaustion. Remember, he did fall asleep on a prep table that one time. 

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Carmy doesn’t haven’t any toys for himself. His hand has always done the job, and he saw no reason to get something else. 

With you, he’ll use a toy from time to time, but it’s rare. He’d much rather make you squirm with his own hand, or his mouth than with a toy. It gives him a sense of pride when he’s made you shake without using anything other than his own body. 

Now, I can see him buying you a really expensive vibration to use while he’s away on trips. As long as you face time him when you use it so he can get off too, of course. 

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

Carmen is such a fucking tease. He loves teasing you in and out of the bedroom with his words. When it comes to in the bedroom, half of the fun for him is teasing. He’s running the head of his cock through your folds mumbling stuff like: 

“Want me to put it in, baby? I can feel how wet you are right now.”

“C’mon. You gotta say it with your words. I don’t know what you want unless you tell me, honey.”

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He groans a lot into your neck. Curses a bunch too, like strings of curse words. Carmen can get pretty loud if he’s feeling really good. When he’s close to cumming, Carmen’s voice degrades into a whine that makes you dig your nails into his back to hear it again. As it reaches that point, he doesn’t care how desperate he sounds. “N-need you to cum. Please cum for me, baby. Need to f-feel you cum around my cock.”

W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character)

One word. Choking. Carmy loves choking. He’s on top of you and wraps his hand around your throat just enough to cut off the blood circulation for half a second. You go absolutely crazy when his hand wraps around your throat because the euphoria is so intense. It’s like you’re on cloud nine. 

Sometimes when he’s fucking you from behind he wraps his bicep around your neck to have the same affect on you. 

Alternatively, Carmen realizes that he also enjoys being choked, at least a little bit. It happens naturally when you're on top riding him. His head falls back and exposes his neck, so you just reach forward and squeeze a little. Carmy’s eyes pop wide open as he feels the blood rush to his head. It’s so blissful he’s just laying with his head thrown back and his mouth open as you release the pressure. 

“Does that feel good for you, too?” you ask. Carmy can’t even speak, he just nods dumbly at your question. “That’s why I love it so much when you do it to me, Carm.” When you squeeze again, he’s spilling into you with a choked groan. 

X = X-ray (Let's see what's going on under those clothes)

His cock is so fucking thick oh my god. It’s a bit  longer than average length wise, but the girth is massive. You’re not even sure you can take it when he pulls his cock out for the first time. He has to fuck you so slow the first time you have sex because the stretch is just so much. He spends at least the first five minutes inside of you staying completely still to let you adjust to his size. The last thing he wants to do is hurt you. 

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

He’s down to have sex whenever and wherever (as long as it’s private). Carmy feels like he doesn’t fuck you enough as is, which is why you two are increasingly having quickies in his office as his time becomes more consumed by the Bear. 

Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Carmy is very much awake up until the point he finishes your aftercare. Meanwhile the second you cum you’re fighting your eyelids begging Carmy to cuddle you to sleep. He has a job to do, though, he needs to clean you up, and carry you to the bathroom so you don’t get a UTI. Once he’s finished with after care he’s out like a light with you tucked in his arms, resting on his chest. 

[samkerrworshipper]

narcotics | arsenal x reader

summary: reader has a drug problem.. her arsenal teammates help her to realise and overcome it

warnings: mentions of drugs use and abuse

this was so tough to write for me and hit home sooo fucking hard buttt also very fulfilling so i hope you enjoy

You’d never intended for it to get this bad.

Injury, surgery, recovery, drugs.

So many drugs.

That was what happened when you had major surgery, when you were an athlete, they showered you with every single kind of drug that they could, to distract from the pain and to try and start the recovery process as soon as possible. It was good, especially post surgery when you felt absolutely no pain, it was great, and it allowed you to be a lot more mobile after the operation than you would have been if you hadn't been medicated.

It was good, being pain free was so incredibly good.

That was all you could focus on, your whole recovery revolved around being pain free, tearing your tricep was a pain in the ass, but as far as football was regarded, you were hopeful to return to the pitch as soon as possible.

You didn’t need your arm to kick a football or play on the pitch, so the whole entire focus of your recovery was to make the pain bearable so you could return to the field as soon as possible.

For this reason, the doctors just kept refilling your scripts, handing you bottles and bottles upon pills, it was their job to get you back on the field to help Arsenal redeem themselves from the fall from the champions league.

You were back on the pitch in three weeks, which was almost psychotic considering that your tricep scars were still bandaged and covered in gauze.

It was procedural for you, you fell into a routine of relying on the drugs to get you through a game, to take off the edge of the pain that originated in your arm.

It was fine, it was good.

For months, the doctors filled the bottles for you, they kept filling them, past the point of where you medically needed them anymore, it was just routine for you, just a part of your day.

You woke up, and you took pills with your morning protein shake and breakfast, then you car pooled to London Colney with Beth and Viv. Once you arrived at training you ate a protein bar, which you consumed another set of pills with. Then typically as a team there would be a morning gym session, after gym there was lunch, where you would consume another set of pills. Then there was training, afterwards before recovery you inhaled another set of pills.

It didn’t really worry you, you needed the pills, they were the reason you were able to play, they were the only thing that was keeping you on the pitch.

It felt that way to you at least, even if you were months past the injury, it just felt like you needed them, that without them you would be hopeless.

So, even as the weeks passed by you continued your routine, but as every day passed by it was clear that your teammates were becoming more aware of your reliance, the concern and questions becoming far more frequent.

You insisted that you were fine, that it was the doctor's orders, even if the doctor had told you months ago that you needed to eventually wean yourself off the pills.

He was the same doctor though who continued to fill your scripts and hand you pills like they were candies.

Eventually you would stop, you would, some time, it was just something to get you through the day, something to make it easier for you to deal with everything that was happening in your life.

The first time the word addiction was thrown at you was in the most abnormal situation.

You were sitting in the locker rooms, early on a wednesday morning the likes of Katie, Jen, Beth and Alessia surrounding you as you all casually joked around.

It was all common conversation, trivial basic stuff, until Katie pivoted towards you, her whole body turning in your direction as she sent a question your way.

“Y/n, is there any history of addiction in your family?”

It’s spoken so casually, and for whatever reason you’re the only person in the group taking a double take over what she’d just asked you.

Everybody else was just kind of waiting for your answer, all eyes on you as they watched on carefully.

“No, why?”

Katie just nods her head, her eyes not leaving you and the curiosity in them.

“Just curious, Less and I were talking earlier about it, one of her cousins struggled with it majorly after having surgery, just interesting to think about, it’s just a really tough topic.”

It was blatantly obvious that there was an underlying message underneath her words, at the time though you had been completely oblivious to it.

“Yeah, well I couldn’t give any info on that, both of my parents were in the army and were as clean as whistles, my two brothers were the same, and as far as my aunts and uncles go I’m fairly certain they’ve never touched any drugs beyond paracetamol and tylenol.”

Your words are measured, calculated, trying to decrypt the overarching question lying beneath the surface of Katie’s random spiel.

“It’s definitely interesting to think about, considering how many surgeries our team has encountered in the last little while.”

Katie is digging around, for something, but you aren’t quite sure what.

“I’m not the one to ask about it, Viv and Beth are the ones who have been doing all the research.”

Katie seems to get the message that you don’t want to talk, but you can’t ignore the way she continues to look at you with a mixture of concern and annoyance whilst you tugged on your uniform and trainers.

When you thought her eyes had slipped from you, you turned into your locker, taking a sip of water before pulling two pills from your bag and slipping them past your lips as discreetly as you could.

You thought you were discreet, but when you turned back around to head out of the rooms and into the gym, and realised that all of your teammates' eyes were on you, you realised that this whole ordeal had become quite the spectacle.

You ignored the on looking eyes, especially those of Katie and Beth’s, which were practically burning holes through your body.

You avoided their eye contact, knowing that if you met their eyes it would give them a space to confront you, something which you were looking to avoid for as long as possible.

You somehow managed to make it into the gym without any further troubles, but when you did make it inside the gym you were met with some similar looks from your teammates and captains who were already occupying the space.

You got straight into your program, your mind reeling about how exactly your teammates had come to the point of pretty much accusing you of addiction.

You weren’t addicted.

You just needed the pills to take the edge off, there was nothing wrong with knowing your body's limit. Sure, you’d been told it was safest to start weaning off them after about a month on them, but you needed them, you needed them to be the same you, the old you, the pre-injury you.

You weren’t an addict, addicts were frantic and uncontrolled and definitely couldn’t play football.

The gym plan for you was fairly simple, a lot of tricep exercises and some upper body work that you finished off fairly quickly, within the hour you were heading back to the locker rooms, to grab your jumper and some pills before heading off to the lunch room to see what the chefs had cooked up today.

Kim, Leah, Katie, Viv, Beth and Jen were all sitting inside the rooms, the six of them hushedly talking between themselves. You did your best to ignore them, beelining straight towards your locker, throwing on your hoodie first before reaching into the pocket in your bag where you’d left the container early.

You felt around, confused for a few seconds when you didn’t immediately feel it.

You shoved your hand deep into the pocket, again your fingers touched nothing but the mesh of the inside pocket in your bag. At this stage, your hands begin to shake, you pull your hand out of the empty pocket, maybe you put them somewhere else.

You begin to rifle through your bag, searching incessantly for the one pill bottle that you need so desperately.

It’s not in your bag, three searches confirm that.

Maybe it’s fallen into your locker somewhere?

You pull out your things from the cube, searching desperately for your sweet relief.

This can’t seriously be happening, how the fuck could you have possibly lost them?

“Kid, what are you looking for?”

You ignore Beth’s question, continuing to toss your locker, even though it’s blatantly obvious that they aren’t hiding anywhere, they’re gone.

“Kid, what’s wrong?”

You pivot on your heel to address Beth, but your eyes are glued to Leah’s hands, or more so what Leah has resting in her hands.

The little orange bottle, the sacred fucking bottle.

“This whatcha looking for?”

You try your very hardest not to slip up, not to give it away too much, not when it’s very likely that whatever this is, it’s a test.

“Why have you got my pills?”

You decide to pivot with a question, it seems like the best decision.

“Why are you still on pills?”

Leah’s words are cut throat, they hit you hard.

“Because of my surgery.”

It’s an ominous answer, maybe it’ll save you from the vice captain's anger, maybe it won’t.

“You had surgery four months ago.”

Leah’s words, whilst they are a statement, hold questioning behind them.

“I don’t see how anything between my doctor and myself matters to you, he’s given me a script for medication, one that I use.”

It’s definitely the wrong thing to say, Leah looks offended, Kim looks like she’s about to kill you, Beth and Viv just look sad, Katie and Jen look like they don’t really know what to say.

“It’s not our fucking business? You should have been off pills three months ago, it’s my blood business to know when my teammates are continuing to take drugs way past the point of it being logical.”

Kim’s voice is angry, but not the kind of anger where it’s directed at you, it’s more the kind of angry where she clearly wants answers that you aren’t giving her.

“I don’t know what you want me to tell you, my doctors fill my scripts, beyond that it’s none of your business what I take and don’t take to get through sessions.”

Kim’s face scrunches up, Leah’s looks similar, it’s funny to you sometimes how similarly they captain.

“You haven’t had any complications, you should have been completely pain free months ago, why do you still need pills? Why do you need them so frequently? Don’t think that we all haven’t realised how often you are taking them, you’re going through them like a bag of candies, it’s not healthy.”

Kim’s right, it leaves you a little bit gobsmacked and takes you a little bit to recover from what she’s saying to you.

“I’m playing well, am I not? Beyond how I am playing on the pitch it’s none of your fucking business.”

When you think about it, swearing at Kim was possibly the stupidest thing you could have done, but you suppose there isn’t any coming back from it now.

“It’s not my fucking business? Beyond being your captain I give a shit about your health and mental wellbeing, so when I see one of my best mates and teammates looking like they are fucking addicted then I am allowed to ask questions, questions that you are going to answer or else we will be having a very different conversation, one that includes Jonas and the medical staff and I promise you that it will end with a very different result.”

Kim’s words hit you right in the chest, you force yourself to take a seat, looking at the six women and taking in the guilty look across both Viv, Katie, Beth and Jen’s faces.

“You guys fucking ratted on me, for nothing? I’m not fucking addicted, people who are addicted are frantic and stupid and fucking unhinged. Do you think if I had a pill addiction that I’d be able to play, do you think I’d be able to do half the things we do if I had an addiction, I just need them to get me through the day, to get me through the work outs.”

Your justification is weak, you know that, but you still believe in what you are saying, you don’t have a problem.

Kim’s face deflates, it looks like whatever she is about to say is going to be a lot more emotional and heavy then you are prepared for.

“Kid, you have a problem. How you manage to do it all baffles me, truly, you should not need pills to be getting you through the day, not when you are in recovery, not when your tricep is almost fully healed, Beth and Katie told me about it because they are genuinely worried, I am too. We’re all here for you, whatever you need.”

You shake your head, you don’t need help, you don’t need support, what you need is your fucking pills back.

“Can I have my fucking pills back?”

Leah shoves the bottle into her pocket, you know that you aren’t getting them back but it was worth a try.

“Are you fucking serious?”

It’s apparently Katie’s turn to be the bad cop.

“They fucking belong to me.”

Katie looks absolutely fuming, if it wasn’t for the whole situation you were in you would probably laugh about it.

“Not anymore they don’t, you’ve lost that fucking priviledge. This is how it’s going to go from now on. You’re going to move in with Beth and Viv for now, Lia’s searching your apartment as we speak, you’re done with pills, no more, you’re cut off. You’re going to get a fucking handle on your life and all of this shit or else you’ll be benched and sent to rehab or wherever Jonas thinks is the best place for you to sort out your fucking addiction, because that’s what this is. You can’t survive four hours without slipping some pills, that is seriously fucking concerning and all of us are so fucking worried about you. If you want to continue playing then there are going to be a whole set of rules and conditions because this can’t keep going, it’s unsafe.”

All the other women nod along with Katie’s words, you realised that you are definitely fucked.

“I’m a fucking adult, you guys have no right to be doing this to me, I don’t have a fucking problem.”

Katie rolls her eyes, standing up from her seat to walk over to you.

“Kid I am so sorry none of us realised earlier, maybe if we had it wouldn’t have been so bad, but you have to understand how bad it is, you should not be reliant on drugs that are prescribed to a person after a serious surgery, your attached. Not all addicts are frantic, you definitely aren’t, but that doesn’t change the fact that you have a problem and if you don’t stop it now, you never will. We all want to help you, however you need.”

You don’t really know what to do, everything Katie is saying hits you so hard, you can’t help but let tears fall, they’re wrong, you don’t have a problem, you need the pills, how are you supposed to be okay without them?

“Please, just give me the pills, I’ll do whatever you want, please, I need them, I’ll do anything please just give them back.”

Katie wraps you up in her arms, so tight that you worry about your ability to breathe, it makes everything stop for a few seconds, you forget about the pills, forget about how much internal pain you are struggling with.

“You know I can’t do that kid. How about we get you home? I don’t think you're in the mindset to train, Viv and Beth will leave with you, they’ll take you back to theirs whilst we finish up here for the day and then we’ll all have a chat about it later, okay?”

You pull yourself out of Katie’s arms, your face in a deep frown.

“You don’t understand, I fucking need them, I can’t live without them, what am I supposed to do without them? This is fucking crazy how am I supposed to play when you’re all forcing me to go cold turkey on the one thing that I rely on most.”

Katie’s hands move to your shoulders, planting themselves down firmly on you.

“No you don’t. It’s going to be a hard adjustment but it’s for the best. If we’re right and you are addicted, you’ll go through withdrawals, it’ll suck, but we’ll be here for you through it, we’re here to kick you in the ass but pick you up when you are hurting, we’re here for whatever you need.”

In a split second decision you lunge forward and directly at Leah, the blonde doesn’t expect it, and definitely doesn’t expect you to reach right for the pocket that you’d previously seen Leah push the pills in.

You don’t really know what your plans where for once you’d managed to obtain the bottle, but you knew one thing, you needed those pills and Leah was standing in the way of that.

Within seconds Jen and Kim’s arms were linked around yours, pulling your desperate form off of Leah.

“Please-Fuck please just give them to me, I’ll do whatever you need, please, I need them. I don’t need you guys, you guys don’t give a shit about me, I’m fine, I don’t want our help, just give me the drugs and leave me be, I’ll be fine, I’m always fine, I don’t need you guys. J-Just give me the pills and I’ll leave, I’ll never bother you guys again. ”

Kim managed to tug you completely away from Leah, whilst the older woman is significantly smaller than you, she was far stronger and you stood absolutely no chance against her.

You ragdolled in an attempt to make it harder for Kim, she replied to that by dragging your limp body up onto a seat, resting both of her hands on your soldiers just like Katie had, except for the fact that instead of Kim’s face being one of care and genuity, hers was stern and concerned.

“You don’t get to do this. You do not get to push us away because you want a fucking dose of drugs. We are family, family means so much more than some stupid object and the kid who worked her way here through the academy would have told me the exact same eight months ago. I know you have been through a lot, I know this injury has sucked, I know that you are going through a lot but you can’t push family away. We’re going to be here for you when you are at your biggest high and your lowest low, we are here through thick and thin. I can stand for you breaking down at ever minute of everyday if it means that we can help you, you can hurt us all as much as you want and we will continue to come back because whilst you might think that you are breaking us, you aren’t.”

Kim’s words just send tears running down your face and sobs coming out of your mouth.

Everything from the last hour is barreling directly at you, the realisation that maybe you aren’t as fine as you’ve been telling yourself, even if it feels wrong, you know what they are telling you makes sense, it hurts way more admitting that to yourself though.

Kim removes her arms from your shoulders, reaching for your torso and bringing you into another big hug, it’s suffocatingly painful and you swear that your skin prickles with the contact.

“I’m sorry, fuck, I’m sorry.”

You don’t know what you are sorry for, which probably makes the apology pointless, but it feels like it needs to be said, like you need to make some kind of attempt to recognise your wrongdoing.

“It’s okay kid, we’ve got you, it’s going to be okay, we’re all here for you, let’s get you back to Beth’s, hmm? I think you could do with a good nap and a proper feed. You’ve been working yourself to the bone, it’s time to let yourself rest. Take it from me, this whole routine you have for yourself, the over working, the pills, it’s only so long before you completely burn yourself out and trust a woman who’s been there, that is the last possible thing you could want, especially considering you are so young.”

Kim’s opinion and words are gospel to you, being another midfielder ever since you’d become a part of the arsenal senior team you hung onto every single word that she spoke, so having the Kim Little calling you family, it was something else completely.

“Please, just take me home.”

Kim nods, pulling back from you to reach into your locker to grab your bag before handing it over to Beth who gives you a little smile, it doesn’t quite reach her eyes though, that’s how you know that whatever is happening, it’s not good at all.

You try your hardest to wipe away the tears with the sleeve of your hoodie, but it’s a losing battle, the salty liquid continuing to flow freely down your cheeks.

Viv replaces Kim, her arm flinging itself over your shoulders and shielding you from the outside world.

Without much fuss the couple pulls you out of the locker rooms and as quickly as they can towards the car park and back to the same car you’d arrived in this morning, this time though it’s so much harder, it feels nearly impossible, especially knowing that instead of the normal routine that entails the couple dropping you back to your apartment, this time you are going back to theirs.

Normally, you’re very happy to participate in a dinner or game night with the duet, but you know what going back to Viv and Beth’s means, it means accountability, change, pain, things you aren’t really sure if you’re ready for.

Viv makes the decision to slide into the back seat with you, a constant comfort as you try to navigate exactly what has just happened.

The ride to Viv’s and Beth’s is a blur, Viv drags you out of the backseat and into the elevator, then into their apartment.

You're too lost to do much more than let Viv lead you to the couch dropping Myle into your lap, who is apparently more than happy to cuddle up under the blanket that Beth throws at you.

All you can think about is what your teammates had to say. About the nights where you’d doubled up on pills to mask the mental pain of all the pressure you were taking on of leading a midfield without Kim, about how you felt like you would cripple up and break if you went a day without your pills, about how for the last few months the highlights of your day has been the pills in the bottle instead of the people around you, about how you’ve been finding more happiness in drugs instead of the life you are living, about how your whole life revolves around pain meds which you didn’t even need anymore.

Addicted wasn’t a word you had ever used in a sentence with you and drugs before, but now, it’s all that you can think about.

Addiction.

It had never been a possibility for you, how could you be addicted? Nobody you knew had ever had problems with pills, you’d done countless injuries including pain meds and never had a problem. No injury you’d ever done had such a negative reception though, the fans were fuming, your teammates were stressed, you were pressured. You needed to recover, for the good of everybody, pain meds were the way to get through that so you’d taken them, to fix all of the problems.

That was the reasoning your brain was using, it wasn’t perfect, but it made enough sense.

Beth sat down next to you and you felt at peace enough to meet her eyes.

They were calmer than before, you felt similarly, calmer, less like you were at war with yourself.

“I was so stupid that I didn’t even realise, I thought I was doing fine, I was so fucking stupid.”

Beth takes a deep gulp of air before she says anything, it’s hard to watch somebody who you’ve come to care about so dearly look like they are struggling so heavily to communicate with you.

“You’re not stupid. It’s not your fault. A lot of people enabled this to keep happening and you couldn’t have known better, what matters most is we are here for you now, the sooner before the later.”

You nod along to Beth, bringing a asleep Myle up to your chest and clutching onto him, the puppy is so soft, a big contrast to how you feel at the moment.

“I didn’t want to let everyone down.”

Beth sighs an oh so familiar sigh, the same sigh you heard every single time someone out of the acl crew mentioned how they felt like they were a burden or a problem or like they were letting the team down.

“You could never let any of us down, not really, sure we’re all very worried about you, but shit happens, life fucking happens. Every single day we all struggle, every person on this world, life is a bitch and the worst part is that we have people holding us accountable for it every single day. Fans, social media, teammates, we don’t get a break, even when we need it the very most. As teammates, it's our job to love you no matter what anybody is saying, you are different to every single human on earth, you have different needs, you don’t have to try to be someone you aren’t, we love you best when you try not to. Do not think for a moment that you will ever disappoint us, sure we can be angry and annoyed and disappointed with your actions but never you directly. We all love you no matter what, just be whoever you need to, not who you think everyone needs you too.”

You don’t know what to say, so you chose to say silent for a few seconds, really observing what Beth has just said, the complete honesty behind her words.

“I want to do better for you guys Beth, I don’t want to be reliant on drugs that I don’t need, I just don’t know how to live without them.”

Beth nods, her eyes all glazed and watery.

“Then we’ll help you, we’ll do whatever is necessary to help you, just let us in, let us be there for you.”

[andmaybegayer]

Every now and again someone will make the claim that "Calories In Calories Out weight loss techniques don't work" and a brain genius will round the corner waving a conservation of energy equation to tell this person that they're an idiot and I do not care for the brain geniuses here.

The brain geniuses are fundamentally misunderstanding several things, potentially willfully. Calories In Calories Out isn't a fundamental truth, it's the process of tracking estimates of energy consumption and usage and the problem is that both of those numbers are highly variable and nearly impossible to track reliably without continuous intervention.

The Calories in Calories In Calories Out process typically means "the number on the side of a bag of food" and "your basal metabolic rate plus activity energy" and importantly it is that and not the fundamental law of nature that conservation of energy is.

Metabolism is a very complicated thing to measure and, under real world conditions, the amount of energy you extract from food is extremely variable, depending on how and when you eat, the structure of your digestive system, your own hormone and enzymatic and bacterial profile, and many other things. The number on the side of a packet is a suggestion that is largely estimated empirically, not even measured by something as crude as a calorimeter, just added up from components and older estimates.

Similarly the amount of energy you burn both as a basic level and in activities depends on many things, basal metabolic rate estimates that you can do without specialized equipment and several days are extremely quick and dirty and are basically just simple thermodynamics estimates. Even if you do get your estimate spot on, the amount of energy you burn can change pretty dramatically in response to changes in diet, lifestyle, and situation. It doesn't help that the majority of many people's energy consumption is passive metabolic energy consumption and that's regulated hormonally, largely beyond your direct control or awareness.

I'm also sympathetic to this because I have completely given up on gaining weight. In my final year of high school after spending three years oscillating between 50 and 55kg my parents and I decided to try and increase my weight by eating more calories, I tripled my breakfast calorie intake, added supplementary protein, ate like 1.5× more at other meals, all while slightly decreasing my activity level because I had dropped some extracurriculars, It felt like a ridiculous effort, I often ate way more than I was comfortable eating, and a year later I had hit an incredible 59kg and was stuck there.

I now just manage my diet and activity to keep on useful muscle mass and make sure I don't go below 50kg because my bones have enough problems to deal with.

If I was trying to lose weight, did the opposite of what I did, cut my calories by 30%, for months, increased my activity by a small amount, and I lost less than 10% of my weight, I would probably also move my focus elsewhere. I'm sure the system works for some people! But it's not as simple as adding up some numbers and making sure one is bigger than the other.

[whencyclopedia]

The Nerge: Hunting in the Mongol Empire

The peoples of the Mongol Empire (1206-1368 CE) were nomadic, and they relied on hunting wild game as a valuable source of protein. The Asian steppe is a desolate, windy, and often bitterly cold environment, but for those Mongols with sufficient skills at riding and simultaneously using a bow, there were wild animals to be caught to supplement their largely dairy-based diet. Over time, hunting and falconry became important cultural activities and great hunts were organised whenever there were major clan gatherings and important celebrations. These hunts involved all of the tribe mobilising across vast areas of steppe to corner game into a specific area, a technique known as the nerge. The skills and strategies used during the nerge were often repeated with great success by Mongol cavalry on the battlefield across Asia and in Eastern Europe.

Hunted Animals

The Mongols, like other nomadic peoples of the Asian steppe, relied on milk from their livestock for food and drink, making cheese, yoghurt, dried curds and fermented drinks. The animals they herded - sheep, goats, oxen, camels and yaks - were generally too precious as a regular source of wool and milk to kill for meat and so protein was acquired through hunting, essentially any wild animal that moved. Animals hunted in the medieval period included hares, deer, antelopes, wild boars, wild oxen, marmots, wolves, foxes, rabbits, wild asses, Siberian tigers, lions, and many wild birds, including swans and cranes (using snares and falconry). Meat was especially in demand when great feasts were held to celebrate tribal occasions and political events such as the election of a new khan or Mongol ruler.

A basic division of labour was that women did the cooking and men did the hunting. Meat was typically boiled and more rarely roasted and then added to soups and stews. Dried meat (si'usun) was an especially useful staple for travellers and roaming Mongol warriors. In the harsh steppe environment, nothing was wasted and even the marrow of animal bones was eaten with the leftovers then boiled in a broth to which curd or millet was added. Animal sinews were used in tools and fat was used to waterproof items like tents and saddles.

The Mongols considered eating certain parts of those wild animals which were thought to have potent spirits such as wolves and even marmots a help with certain ailments. Bear paws, for example, were thought to help increase one's resistance to cold temperatures. Such concoctions as powdered tiger bone dissolved in liquor, which is attributed all sorts of benefits for the body, is still a popular medicinal drink today in parts of East Asia.

Besides food and medicine, game animals were also a source of material for clothing. A bit of wolf or snow leopard fur trim to an ordinary robe indicated the wearer was a member of the tribal elite. Fur-lined jackets, trousers, and boots were a welcome insulator against the bitter steppe winters, too.

Continue reading...

[aphroditeslover11]

How do they deal with a hangover?

Disclaimer - I do not condone drinking to excess, but these things do happen! Please drink responsibly.

Tommy: He insists that he is too hardcore to get a hangover, and in fairness he does have a really high tolerance for alcohol. The truth is he does still get hangovers though, especially as he gets older. He basically refuses to admit it to everyone, but they can tell because he has a whiskey with breakfast to try and stave off the headache.

Oppie: Like Tommy, he happens to have quite a high tolerance, but when he has a hangover you will know about it. He gets whiny and complains endlessly to you, but nobody else will know about it of course! He tries not to have lectures before 11:00 am anyway, so it doesn’t matter how much fun he had the night before, even if he’s teaching.

Lenny Miller: He is a FULLY GROWN MAN, of course he doesn’t have a hangover!! Or so he insists anyway. He will go to the gym first thing in the morning to try and get over the hangover but it never really works and just makes him want to vomit up his protein shake. He goes to work and mopes all day, he’s so grumpy that his coworkers just ignore him.

Robert Fischer: He doesn’t drink a lot because he doesn’t think it’s a good combination with having to work a lot, but that means that when he does he has to suffer worse after effects. The usual solution is a big cooked breakfast from his housekeeper. He inevitably calls into the office and pretends to be ill for the day.

Emmett: To the envy of all of his friends, Emmett is one of those annoying people who just doesn’t seem to get hangover, no matter what they drink. Yes, he has passed out in the middle of a field a few times on a boys’ camping trip, but as long as his wife never finds out he doesn’t have any major problems the next day!

Neil Lewis: Every time he gets hungover he insists that it will be the last time he ever touches alcohol... it never is. He's the friend that you have to drag home and stay with all night because he overestimates his capabilities.

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

fiber observations (knitting edition): peduncle silk

[plain text: fiber observations (knitting edition): peduncle silk]

peduncle silk from type of wild tussah silk worm. what typically think of as tussah silk, is from cocoon. but peduncle silk from stem part. n like stem, peduncle silk processed from it very stiff apparently because “glue” that bind it together.

it so called “rare fiber,” but not sure if it rare because actual few in number, or like. time consuming process for fiber that not very useful beyond niche fiber artist “ooo new thing let’s try.”

anyway. got some peduncle silk yarn some time ago to do exactly that “ooo new thing let’s try” thingie.

[id: hank of peduncle silk yarn that functionally described below. end id]

in real life it dark yellowish brown color that have these “inclusions” of lighter stuff that almost look like tweed. not sure if it just how yarn processed or how peduncle silk. it DK weight n each hank said have 200 yards. n have 5 hank of it, if careful, can make small adult sweater for me. it not my usual color by any means (pastel & bright rainbow), but again “ooo new thing let’s try,” & rarely wear/make anything other than sweater, so, sweater 👍

people (primarily spinners) online said it feel more like wool than silk, n think that pretty accurate—though me would say feel more like cotton than silk. am big avid cotton not-enjoyer, so don’t knit or spin with it to able compare actual properties, but avid not enjoyer mean can feel yarn n immediately tell it cotton/cotton majority. n. this feel more similar to cotton than wool. but mentally less barrier to it because “ooo new thing let’s try.”

it shipped to me damp n dried since then, but in hank form there still feeling of. like. damp. but it dry. but feel damp.

definitely not something would use regularly (or again after this project) though (tho same seller also had lace version so maybe will make shawl from it just for fart fun of it. don’t think will have very good drape bc stiff but funny rare experiment). harder get + only one color (natural/unbleached) + feel.

[id: two picture of same knitted rectangle from yarn. there centimeter ruler on it horizontal and vertical. there also US 6 bamboo needle near by. end id]

knit swatch with US 6 bamboo needle. pre wet blocking. cast on 20 st & it about 9.25 cm wide. knit about 19 st / 21 st if count cast on bind off (unconventional number but got lazy), n it about 7 cm long.

way yarn itself made is… think like 10 ply or something. anyway many lace singles loosely together into yarn. not enjoy that as much… come undone on needle.

it not very slippery, opposite of slippery, so may move to metal needles when do real thing n see. as someone who primarily knit wool & never knit cotton, this yarn idea of what “wool-y cotton” think would feel like to me. if make any sense. but not wool.

immediately after wash, still wet:

[id: first picture hold knitted rectangle in hand against light wood background. next two picture measure rectangle with ruler again. knitted rectangle not look much different. end id]

basically, not much different. with some stretch n shape n put back together, width grew a little to 10 cm, but length not change. not sure why didn’t expect it (prob because last project superwash merino…), but make sense, because stiff.

keep forget this animal/protein fiber not plant fiber.

when wet, have smell. like wet wool have wet sheep smell, this have… wet peduncle silk smell? what associate with damp corners. oh and WET DIRT. really smell like wet dirt.

n. stiffness no joke

[id: first picture of rectangle scrunched up & remaining it shape. second picture of it be stretched very long length wise n remain shape. end id]

like scrunch it up n put it on table not so carefully n take time for photo, still very remain shape, no sign of move. same for pull stretch really out n still mostly stay there.

second picture visually remind me of superwash merino. except in reality opposite of it—superwash merino feel floppy. uncontrollable growth. once it stretch you need accept fate. (until say fuck you n throwing dryer for few minutes that is). this more… stiff n rigid. you need be one to stretch it. n then put it back in shape n it measurement not change much at all.

anyway. it still wet on table. gonna see if any different when dry, but doubt any. hard imagine what it like to wear it with just swatch (wet swatch at that), but would imagine it not spiky but more heavy. curious about warmth. it look quite thick for dk but measured n indeed dk.

thinking about knit field sweater on ravelry (feel like right vibe for color). scared about it bc people say pattern poorly written/translated. but there lots notes online so hoping go okay.

[op nonverbal autistic with communication impairment disability. do not comment about how talk. still english not need “translate.” do not rephrase into “proper” english without ask.]

[lethalrexie]

so a lil bout me if anyone wants to be moots: (i also have a backup in case i lose this acct, it’s the same username but the “e” in lethal is 3)

you 1,000% do not need to read all of this, however i truly think it is super helpful considering i was raised by a dietitian.

im pro-recovery JUST BY CHOICE NOT FORCE. so PLS JUST BLOCK DONT REPORT. we all have backups and backups for our backups. so it’s pointless. you’re breaking up a community where we get support. so fvck u if u report.

my “rexie tips n tricks” losing weight healthily yada yada yada is below the cut if you’re interested!

cw: 180lxs 81kg (i know it got out of hand 🥲)

gw: 130lxs 58kg (doing everything i can to get here by christmas)

ugw: not sure, just wanna see my b0nes. maybe 111lxs (50kg)? (gimme that angel number baybeee)

lw: 145lxs 65kg

so basically, if you do these things i can guarantee you 100% will lose weight. if you’ve plateaued, if you’re just starting out, if you’re trying to take it slow after relapsing, even if you’re petite and need a metab boost to start loosing lxs again, i’m not saying it’s good to be apart of this community but im along this ride w ya so. here u go.

1. keep your e@ting window as small as possible aka eat to live don’t live to eat (the r3xie motto 🤪). i’m f@sting minimum 16:8 and i try to extend that. but major thing is don’t beat yourself up if you can’t make it 16hrs and be happy the days you can make it longer!! esp if your just starting out.

2. stay low c@l. i’m trying my best to stay under 500 c@l/day. and consume that how it works for you. if five 100 c@l snacks over 8 hrs work best some days that’s ok. if OMAD works best, great! my mom is a dietitian and i promise, eating a little of each food group (dairy, carb ik scary, protein, veg & fruit) will help your metab which in the long run will help you l0se more weight. sometimes just having one protein bar mid day works 4 me. others i need a full meal. fuel your body or you will burn muscle which leads to organ damage.

3. don’t do LONG term fasts. i’d say up to a week with heavy liquids is okay. and not just water, incorporate broths, mio, even sugar free jello is good (if it’s clear typically it’s ok) but long term fasts can lower your metabolism, deplete electrolytes, and sodium, which long term is going to bloat you, keep weight on (or make you gain it back quickly), and overall make you feel like shit (which could lead to hospitalization)

4. don’t eat refined sugar or refined foods. do literally AS MUCH AS YOU CAN to eat sugar free and whole foods. i have a major sweet tooth so i turn to sugar free jello/pudding, sf caramels, halo top ice cream if i REALLY need it. otherwise i do sweet fruits and veggie based substitutions for carbs. i use cauliflower rice, zucchini noodles, or there’s these great hearts of palm noodles.

5. eat tons of fiber!! laxatives will help momentarily, consistent fiber will keep your 💩 regular thus keeping your body from holding onto it aka extra lxs. i add unflavored benefiber to a lot of my drinks (the flavored ones have added sugar). i honestly could promise you that fiber will help with shedding !bs.

6. drink as much water as you possibly can. yes you can become over-hydrated so add electrolytes or legit just a lil salt to your water here n there. but your body is going to retain water (!bs), and bloat if you are dehydrated. #1 thing to remember is you are depleting your body of what it wants. finding a way to basically trick it makes it easier and quicker to lose fat.

7. stay distracted! discipline and hunger may hurt now, regret and guilt are going to hurt 50x worse later. a grumbly tummy is not worth it. get some motivational phrases, tactics, distractions, that work for you and RELY ON THEM. water, i use mio in mine when i’m desperate, gum, diet soda, bubbly water, reading, tv, ANYTHING. i have other reblogs with some good motivational tactics. i also look at th!nspø as well as pics of my own body multiple times per day to keep me on track. YOU ARE NOT ALWAYS GOING TO BE MOTIVATED SO YOU MUST BE DISCIPLINED. i repeat that to myself 100000 times a day.

8. incorporate foods/drinks that speed up your metab. coffee, green tea, spicy foods (pepper, cayenne pepper), cinnamon, B12 there’s sooo many. and this goes hand in hand with making sure you’re getting your vitamins. picking up a general multivitamin will help make it so your body doesn’t want to cling onto every last cal it’s fed.

9. exercise if you are mentally & physically able to. i have some other limiting factors which make me unable to go to the gym or get as many steps in as id like. an avg day is 2k-5k steps for me rotting on the couch. i PROMISE like 100% money back guarantee (srry bad joke i swear im not a damn ana coach 🙄) your diet is 1,000,000x more important than any exercise you’re going to get in. exercise will help with toning so i try to get some laying ones done on the couch but dude you burn calories just existing. so if you eat lower than that which is 1k-2k (you can look it up it’s your TDEE) you will lose weight. it may be slightly slower than if you walked 20k steps/day or worked out 5 hrs every day but give it time.

literal str8 up proof of this^^^ is my father. he’s a gym junkie like going every morning at 4am (insanity but not my kind), but was eating a lot, and garbage. high carb and sugar intake. and even though he was working out A TON with a lot of steps/day he was gaining fat. he came to me and i told him str8 up to eat less and stop treating his body like a dumpster. eat healthier. homie is shedding lxs.

so besides all that, if you wanna be moots ill probs just vent and post th!nspø

SORRY IM A CERTIFIED YAPPER

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

If you were to be roommates with any of the NRC boys, who would you wanna be roommates with? Who would you not want to be roommates with?

Ooh, what a fun prompt 😂 I’ll split them into categories and then comment on my reasoning for them! (I’m responding for myself, not for my OC by the same name confusing, I know)

Side note: I know this question was limited only to the NRC boys but for funsies I’m going to comment on Neige, the Dwarves, Chenya, and Rollo who are also students 😂 just at different schools… Let me have this—

Absolutely NOT

♥️ — I would drop kick this kid the moment he starts to mouth off to me 😤 I also don’t trust him to not pollute our shared spaces with Axe body spray. Ace is basic enough to do that.

🦈 — Not a fan of people who flake on me or act fickle. It would be a massive inconvenience if Floyd promised to do something (for example, cleaning or making dinner for us roomies) but didn’t because he suddenly “didn’t feel like it”. I’d be forced to pick up after him or to change my schedule to accommodate, and that can very easily annoy me. Plus, if his own room in the game is of any indication, he doesn’t seem very tidy… @.@

🏹 — Too extroverted. I don’t want to be greeted with his dumb ol’ smiling face or French/j when I come home every day. I’d also live in fear of him watching me sleep at night or him just reciting details about me that he shouldn’t reasonably know (clothing sizes, what I did while I was out, etc.)

👑 — Look, I don’t want to deal with paparazzi or crazy fans following Vil home or something. That’s too much stress for me to take. On top of that, there’s nothing stopping an idiot reporter from printing shady gossip about Vil’s roomie being his secret lover… which could, in turn, attract hate from his followers. Please let me just live without worrying about this.

🦇 — MAN LIVES LIKE A HOARDER 😭 There are other characters with messy rooms, but Lilia literally has tons of miscellaneous stuff everywhere... Living with him also means I have to do the bulk of the cooking or risk playing gacha with my life when Lilia's allowed to be in the kitchen. Not only that, but I'd likely be spooked by him dropping on in at random times of the day--I don't think my heart could take it. Too much trouble for me to deal with on a daily basis.

***Bonus: Neige*** — Same reasoning as Vil. I’m sure he’d be cute and peppy + help out with the chores a la Snow White, but I still don’t want to deal with the stress of living with a celebrity and having to deal with potentially super parasocial fans coming at me just for the association.

***Bonus: The Dwarves*** — … I’m not running a daycare here 🤡

I’ll tolerate them

♦️ — Cater avoids being on my shit list as long as he doesn’t start begging me to be in his selfies and twisted Tiktoks or to do internet challenges with him. I’ll tolerate him if he gives me free food he got for pics but doesn’t feel like eating because it’s not to his tastes.

🦁 — Judging from how Leona has Ruggie doing a lot of his housework 💦 I feel like I'd also have to do the bulk of the housework to make up for what Leona doesn't do... Aside from that, I think I could tolerate his personality pretty alright??? I can force him to play tabletop games with me :v and get free veggies off of his plate... (He can have my extra meat, too much protein makes me feel sick.)

☀️ — With his kind of wealth, I don’t need to worry about Kalim paying his share of the rent and for shared items (in fact, he’ll probably just buy everything for us both) 😭 but I wouldn’t like Kalim always inviting a shit ton of people over to party… Another major con is that he probably needs to be taken care of since Jamil or other servants usually fulfill his every need, and I’m NOT about that. Him paying for everything somewhat balances out these grievances, but I have pride to maintain and I don’t want to 100% live off of someone else’s money.

🍎 — Nothing overtly offensive about Epel immediately comes to mind, but if this is pre-book 5 Epel then I don’t want to deal with his toxic masculinity. I could leech free apple products off of whatever his family sends.

💀 — I just KNOW this nerd would be up gaming late until like 3 am and loudly raging as he does it, but I'm a pretty heavy sleeper so I think I could put up with it (not that I want to, only if I have to). Idia wouldn’t be that much of a bother to me during the daytime (he probably just holes up in his room anyway)... And hey, free gaming partner, tech consultant, and someone to watch anime with (and then we can argue about who the best character is).

⚡️— Sebek is punctual and loud, so he's useful to have as an alarm clock (I have a tendency to sleep in). He can do laundry, move heavy furniture, and (most importantly to me) brew tea, all things which contribute to the household. But I swear, I SWEAR, if he opens his mouth to tell me why I should like Malleus, I'm going to move out ASAP.

***Bonus: Chenya*** — Chenya definitely feels like the kind of roomie that eats the food you left in the fridge and then claims he has no idea where it went (while there are incriminating crumbs around his mouth). His UM also has potential to make me feel uneasy in the same space (like… he could be anywhere x.x). The only reason I’ll tolerate rooming with Chenya is because he’s a cute cat boy.

Acceptable

🌹 — Riddle’s just... okay. I can see myself getting irritated whenever he's being a stickler about certain rules being followed or things having to be done a certain way (since I hate being told what to do). Then again, I'm also a stickler for certain things (like no outdoor shoes inside the house; always wear house slippers instead). If we can compromise and avoid shouting (assuming this is post-book 1 Riddle), that would be great. If it’s book 1 Riddle… yeah, I’m tiptoeing around him and/or he gets lowered into “Absolutely NOT”.

♠️ — Nothing that notable about Deuce or how he lives, he’s just not a very strong contender for what I’d like in a roommate. Phone calls to his mom aren't so long or so frequent that they'd be an annoyance.

🐙 — Pro: Azul does all the math for us when it comes to the bills. Saves me a lot of hassle. Con: he’ll ask for compensation for every little thing he does. It balances out, I guess.

🐬 — As much as I'd love to have a live-in butler, I don't trust Jade for one second to not be plotting something behind my back. Sure, he's polite and does all the usual malewife things, but I never know when this man has slipped a new breed of mushrooms into dinner to test the effects of its consumption on me (BRO DID THIS DURING MASTERCHEF AND I'LL NEVER LIVE THAT DOWN). Jade also seems like the type of roomie to smile to your face but shit talk you when you're not around 🤡 It's fine, I'm a masochist so I'll let it happen/j

🐉 — I mean. He's acceptable as a roommate, but Malleus feels like the kind of person you rarely even see in the apartment??? And whenever he does show up, you're shocked that you've spotted him. That means I'd basically have the place to myself for most of the time, which is great for an introvert like me.

Omg pls

🐆 — Ruggie’s got tons of experience looking after Leona, I’m sure those skills will transfer over nicely to rooming with me. I guess my only concern here would be fighting with Ruggie over small savings (like maybe a spare coin or the last of the leftovers), because we’re both frugal and want to hoard whatever he can get our grubby little paws on.

🐺 — Jack keeps to himself and wouldn’t bother me 😌 Good boy!!

💤 — He’s quiet when he’s awake and/or half asleep (and honestly, what a mood). Silver would be such a peaceful roomie… plus, all his woodland creature friends basically provide free animal therapy. Since Lilia often left Silver home alone while he embarked on worldly travels, Silver’s already got experience in homemaking and a willingness to pitch in.

🐱 — Grim is this high up only because he is cat-shaped and therefore he is basically a Real Cat. He is my pet now. I will feed him and bathe him and take good care of him. If he shreds the furniture or sets it on fire though, he’s being put in time out.

***Bonus: Rollo*** — Listen, think of the entertainment value of this 😳 Rollo would be that roommate that looks very collected and unassuming, but every so often goes on these outrageous rants once his anger is stockpiled and he can’t contain it anymore. I’d sit there listening to him go off about how magic is evil, how we’d all be happier without it, etc. And like… while I don’t necessarily agree with his rhetoric, the complete character shift to being unfiltered and unhinged is just so fascinating to observe. (… Oh yeah, and Rollo would be pretty good at cleaning since NBC students as fastidious about that kind of thing.)

You’re my new best friend

♣️ — If you give me free food then I will love you forever and ever. Trey gives free food. Therefore, I suddenly love Trey. Jokes aside though, I do see him as someone who has his shit together and wouldn’t stir the pot. He’d do his fair share of chores (including the cooking) and doesn’t have an abrasive personality that would make it difficult to be around him. Bonus, I can ask him for free dental hygiene advice and we can geek out about teeth together.

🐍 — Jamil has a similar domestic skillset as Jade, but the difference is that Jamil doesn’t go out of his way to deliberately cause problems or to enable others to act out. If I let him do his own thing and don’t get on his bad side, I think Jamil would be respectful to me as well. I’ll be happy to eat any of his delicious cooking 🤤 and in return, I’ll be his bug slayer—it’s a good deal!!

🤖 — It’s like having all of the household tools you need in one, plus a security system and a new little bestie 😌 I’d trust Ortho with my life 💕 We also save on the food and water bill since he doesn’t need those things to function, just electricity every so often to charge!

[hellsite-proteins]

I don't exactly understand how tags work or what good they do for purification... I know there are like, some occasions where we insert something coding for many histidines at a certain location on a plasmid but I just can't seem to figure out what its purpose is. Every answer I've ever gotten has been so abstract

I like this blog! I'm a biochemistry major now and really want to study metalloproteins and other such biological applications of inorganic chemistry in the future, so maybe our paths will cross one day. Who knows?

nice! i don't know a ton about metalloproteins specifically but they're neat and there are a lot of ways that inorganic chem can line up with biochem. i wish you all the best with your degree and beyond! if any of this is unclear or you would like more details, please ask in the comments

tags are useful not only for purification but a lot of other ways you may want to study a protein. a 6xHis tag (which is just 6 histidines in a row) is used for affinity purification, in which proteins are separated by how well they bind the resin in a column. the histidines chelate Ni2+ or Co2+, and having more histidines increases the strength of this interaction so we can better separate the tagged protein from others with exposed His residues, which get washed away. after washing there should only be your tagged proteins left, which are then eluted with a high concentration of histidine or imidazole.

epitope tags are also used if we want to do antibody-based analysis such as Western blotting or immunoprecipitation. basically, these are short peptides that get added on somewhere in a protein where we predict minimal impact on its function or interactions, but that can be recognized by antibodies. this is necessary if an antibody specific to your protein of interest isn't available. alternatively, fluorescent tags can be used to visualize a protein within a live cell to study its localization.

letter sequence in this ask matching protein-coding amino acids:

IdnteactlynderstandhwtagswrkrwhatgdtheydfrprificatinIknwtherearelikesmeccasinswhereweinsertsmethingcdingfrmanyhistidinesatacertainlcatinnaplasmidtIstcantseemtfigretwhatitsprpseisEveryanswerIveevergttenhaseensastractIlikethislgImaichemistrymarnwandreallywanttstdymetallprteinsandtherschilgicalapplicatinsfinrganicchemistryintheftresmayerpathswillcrssnedayWhknws

protein guy analysis:

there is a fair amount of secondary structure, so this initially doesn't look too bad. unfortunately, the surface is less convincing, and there are more pockets and crevices than i would personally like. the confidence isn't great, and i agree with the machines on that verdict because i am not entirely impressed. its not awful and i don't want to rule out the possibility that a real protein could look like this, but i don't trust it. i feel like i'm trying to identify a faerie as a folklore character or perhaps like a grumpy old man who doesn't trust emails.

predicted protein structure:

cartoon representation

surface representation

[auspicioustidings]

Hello, I'm not sure if you're taking requests for COD headcannons, but I would like to know if you can do headcannons for 141 x reader and/or Kortac x reader (which ever you prefer) in which the solider/medic reader has a major sweet tooth. Like the reader is seen almost always having something to snack on, having to ask the reader if they can have some, and a couple of members finds out that they have a hidden stash of various types of candy, cakes and any sweet there is.

I hope this make sense, and you can any other aspects that comes to mind. Thank you for reading and it's alright if you're unable to do these headcannons.

Have a great day and I luv your work! <3

I have never had anyone ask before but I can certainly give it a bash!

Price

Treats you the exact same way he treats the K-9 team meaning he has at least once been dragged into an office to get an absolute bollicking for feeding you too many treats

To him the job basically ruins any chance at a good life so anyone choosing to do it should be allowed anything that makes them happy and doesn't affect their ability to work

He has his cigars, you have your sweets and he about died laughing when you whipped out a chocolate cigar so you could "smoke with him"

Ghost

Doesn't really notice because he's not super into sweets until Johnny starts whining at him because you keep hiding your stash

He uses this as a training opportunity because his men shouldn't be getting outfoxed by a medic with an affinity for sweets

Eventually you cut a deal with him and he gets Johnny off your back in exchange for helping him hook up with one of the IT people (it's a total mess in the end because the IT person is into you, you are trying to get them to sleep with Ghost and Ghost made you promise - he absolutely did it on purpose and takes great joy in watching the whole debacle)

Soap

Finds out immediately and found it cute at the start because you were always so happy when he'd give you little sweets

Finds it less cute when everyone else starts giving you sweets because he is both jealous and competitive, so he's out to find your stash and wreck it so his gifts reign supreme

Winds up going into an absolute spiral when one of the other medics brings fucking home made brownies into work and proceeds to spend a ridiculous amount of money and time doing an intensive bakery course on leave

Still sucks at it because he just doesn't enjoy following instructions so instead begs Ghost to bake things that he then passes off as his own (Ghost of course delighted because my my Johnny, what are you willing to do for me in exchange?)

Gaz

Has been your PT since basic, is well aware of your habits and has been trying to curb them for years

Like it's fine you are eating sweets ONLY IF you are meeting your protein goals and not going wildly overboard so he isn't inclined to stop you unless he sees you are starting to eat way too much

Once a week the last ten minutes of your gym sesh are spent trying some healthier substitutes to see what ones you enjoy and could start subbing in and which just won't cut it

Kortac

In general when you are working on their base Kortac are strict with you. Konig takes nutrition pretty seriously so he expects that when people are on base they are eating well. The rest are used to all eating the same meals and sticking to the snacks stocked in the mess while they are on base so they only tease you when you complain.

Los Vaqueros

Absolute riot, they love feeding you. Rudy's grandma is constantly sending home made desserts. Alejandro hand feeds you. It's like when you are babysitting and just give a kid sweets because it won't be your problem in an hour. No issue to them sending you back to the 141 all hyper.

Ghost Team

All out war. Everyone is stealing one another's sweets, alliances live and die on a single bar of chocolate. Game of Thrones could never hope to match the levels of bitter political manoeuvring.

[lotus-tower]

Source.

[ID: A two-page infographic titled "T Cells & Covid-19: A basic introduction."

A box labeled "What are T cells?" Text reads: "T cells are one of the most valuable types of white blood cells in your immune system. They play a key role in keeping you healthy and safe from disease. They identify, attack, and destroy infectious agents (like viruses). T cells protect the body from infections that have reached the inside of your cells." To the left of the box is an image of cells.

A box labeled "Why are they called T cells?" Text reads: "T cells are born from stem cells found in your bone marrow. Once the T cells are created, they migrate to your thymus (an organ located behind your breastbone); this is why they're called T cells. They develop and grow inside your thymus. Once they're fully mature, your T cells live in your blood and lymph nodes." To the right of the box is an image of a simplified human figure. The thymus' location is shown in bright pink in the center of the chest, roughly in the middle of the collarbone.

A box labeled "Major Subtypes: Killers & Helpers." Text reads: "Your body creates several different types of T cells to keep you safe. Each of these types has a different role to play in your immune system. Two of the major subtypes are 'killer' (cytotoxic) T cells (shown at left) and 'helper' (CD4+ cells) T cells." To the left of the box is a depiction of a blue cell.

A box labeled "Killer T Cells." Text reads: "Killer T cells are nicknamed killers because they can actually kill virus-infected cells. They can also kill cancer cells--meaning they are super, super valuable. They have small signaling proteins called cytokines that they use to call for help from other cells when your body is mounting an immune response." To the right of the box is an illustration of what appears to be killer T cells fighting infected or malign cells.

A box labeled "Helper T Cells." Text reads: "Unlike the killer T cells, the helper T cells work by activating other cells in your body. By activating your body's memory B cells and your body's killer T cells, they set off an even bigger immune response within your body." To the left of the box is a depiction of a green cell.

A box labeled "What happens if you lose T cells?" Text reads: "Your body really, really needs T cells. When you don't have enough of them, your body's immune system cannot work properly, making you really susceptible to infections. And it's important to know that as we age, we don't produce many (if any) new T cells." To the right of the box is a graphic where the words "why am i always sick?" appear multiple times in different colours.

A screenshot of an article from the Tyee, titled "What If COVID Reinfections Wear Down Our Immunity?" by Andrew Nikiforuk, dating from 7 November 2022. What text is visible reads: "Dr. Anthony Leonardi is a lightning rod for debate. If he’s right, this pandemic poses a greater threat than widely assumed", followed by an image of cells. Under the image, text reads: "T cells are a body’s key line of defence against infection. COVID infections can cause them to prematurely age, harm organs and become exhausted, warns Dr. Anthony Leonardi. Image via Shutterstock."

A box labeled "Covid destroys T cells." Text reads: "Covid damages and destroys T-cells. This happens because Covid hyperstimulates T cells--it stimulates them too much. Why? Covid has the ability to linger in your body and challenge your immune system. When T cells stay activated continuously like this, they become exhausted and wear down. And the result is that your immune system gets badly damaged. Even so-called 'mild' Covid infections can really mess up your immune system. Even people without serious Covid symptoms showed T cell exhaustion in a recent study. 'Exhausted' T cells are those that lose their ability to fight off viruses (and their ability to fight off cancer.) Hyperactivated T cells can also lead to organ damage, leading to serious health issues. In short, Covid is damaging our immune systems."

/end ID]

To read more on this topic:

How the Coronavirus Short-Circuits the Immune System (26 Jun, 2020)

Dendritic cell deficiencies persist seven months after SARS-CoV-2 infection (21 Jul, 2021)

SARS-CoV-2 Actively Infects And Kills Lymphoid Cells (14 Apr, 2022)

In Cleveland and beyond researchers begin to unravel the mystery of long COVID-19 (22 Oct, 2022)

What if COVID Reinfections Wear Down Our Immunity? (7 Nov, 2022)

Single-cell multiomics revealed the dynamics of antigen presentation, immune response and T cell activation in the COVID-19 positive and recovered individuals (2 Dec, 2022)

SARS-CoV-2 infection weakens immune-cell response to vaccination: NIH-funded study suggests need to boost CD8+ T cell response after infection. (20 Mar, 2023)

Lymphocytopenia: Merck Manual (Revised Apr 2023)

Long COVID manifests with T cell dysregulation, inflammation and an uncoordinated adaptive immune response to SARS-CoV-2 (11 Jan, 2024)

[lightdancingwords]

Crossroads of the Heart - Part Twelve of ?

Pairings: CJ Braxton x Y/N Female reader

Series Summary: Y/N is a psychology major assigned to shadow CJ at The Stand, unaware he's the one who basically saved her life four years before. CJ is unaware that she's the one who left a notable impact on him over the phone four years ago. As they navigate the work at The Stand, they develop a spark that demands revelation and connection.

Word Count: 3,795

Tags/Warnings: Mostly fluff, a touch of angst, and some 18+ smut/implied smut.

A/N: Comments, Likes, Reblogs, Kind feedback are always highly appreciated. Please let me know if you want to be added to the tag list!

Dividers: credit to @saradika-graphics

Chapter Twelve: Standing By You

The hum of conversation and ringing phones filled the space at The Stand, but for Y/N, everything outside her own head felt muffled. She sat on the worn couch in the break room, her hands curled around a cup of lukewarm coffee she didn’t intend to drink. Gabby plopped down next to her, not saying anything at first, just stretching her legs out and leaning back like she was settling in for a long stay.

“I brought snacks,” Gabby said eventually, pulling a granola bar from her bag and holding it out like a peace offering. “Don’t worry—it’s not that gross protein kind Miles swears by.”

Y/N gave a weak laugh and accepted it, peeling the wrapper off but only taking a small bite.

Gabby tilted her head, studying her carefully. “You okay?”

Y/N shrugged, her fingers picking at the edge of the wrapper. “I’ve been better.”

Gabby leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “Do you wanna talk about it? Or do you want me to keep being a goof until I make you laugh again?”

Y/N let out a soft sigh. “Both, maybe?”

“Done.” Gabby grinned. “Okay, so—first things first. Your dad is a total jerk. But you already know that.”

“Yeah,” Y/N muttered, biting her lip.

Gabby’s expression softened. “But seriously, what he said today wasn’t fair. You don’t deserve that. And CJ? God, that man’s a keeper. The way he stood up for you? If it weren’t obvious before, he’s head over heels.”

Y/N’s eyes glistened. “I know. He’s... perfect.”

“Duh,” Gabby said, nudging her. “But it’s okay if it still hurt. What your dad said. Because words like that stick.”

Y/N nodded, tears brimming but not falling. “I thought moving in with CJ would finally give me some peace, you know? But it feels like every time I take a step forward, my dad finds a way to yank me back.”

Gabby rested her head against Y/N’s shoulder. “He’s trying, but you’re stronger than you think. You’ve already built something beautiful with CJ. You don’t owe your dad anything.”

A tear escaped, and Y/N wiped it quickly. “I just wanted him to be proud of me.”

Gabby’s grip on her hand tightened. “He’s missing out. We’re all proud of you, Y/N. And CJ? He’s not just proud—he’s in awe of you. He’s in love with you.”

Y/N sniffed, her lips twitching into a small smile. “He really is, isn’t he?”

Gabby grinned, pulling back. “Yup. You can tell by the way he looks at you like you’re a rare treasure. And he doesn’t do that for anyone else, so, lucky you.”

Y/N laughed, her spirits lifting slightly. “Thanks, Gabby.”

Gabby stood, stretching dramatically. “That’s what I’m here for. Oh, and one more thing—he’s probably pacing in his office, worrying about you.”

Y/N stood, brushing off her jeans. “I should probably go remind him that I’m okay.”

Gabby winked. “Exactly. Go hug your man.”

Y/N knocked softly on CJ’s office door before peeking inside. He was leaning over his desk, scribbling something on a notepad, but his head shot up the moment he saw her.

“Hey,” he said, his voice softer than usual.

“Hey.” Y/N closed the door behind her and walked over, dropping into the chair across from him. “I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“You didn’t,” CJ replied, though the way he stood and rounded the desk to sit on its edge gave him away. “I was just... thinking.”

Y/N smiled faintly. “About what?”

CJ exhaled, running a hand through his hair. “About how much I hate seeing you hurt. About how I wanted to do more back there but didn’t want to make things worse.”

“You didn’t,” Y/N said quickly, standing and closing the space between them. She placed her hands on his knees, grounding them both. “You did exactly what I needed. You defended me when I couldn’t find the words.”

CJ’s shoulders relaxed, and he cupped her face gently. “You don’t have to face this alone, Y/N. Not with me.”

“I know,” she whispered, leaning into his touch. “And I don’t feel alone. I feel loved.”

“You are,” CJ murmured, brushing his thumb along her cheek. “I love you, and I’m never going to let anyone make you feel like you don’t deserve everything you’ve built.”

Y/N’s eyes filled with tears again, but this time, they weren’t from sadness. They were from gratitude, from the overwhelming warmth of being seen and loved fully.

She stood on her toes and kissed him, slow and sweet, pouring everything she couldn’t say into the touch of their lips. CJ wrapped his arms around her, holding her close like he could shield her from the world.

When they finally pulled apart, Y/N rested her head against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. “Thank you, CJ. For always being my safe place.”

“Always,” CJ promised, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Now, how about we get out of here? Go home, order takeout, and pretend the rest of the world doesn’t exist for a while?”

Y/N smiled against his chest. “That sounds perfect.”

And as they left The Stand hand in hand, Y/N knew that no matter what storms came her way, CJ would always be her anchor. Together, they could weather anything.

Y/N woke up the next morning to the smell of freshly brewed coffee and the comforting sound of CJ moving around the kitchen. She stretched lazily in bed, feeling a little lighter than she had the day before. The events with her father still lingered in the back of her mind, but instead of letting it drag her down, she focused on the good: CJ, their home together, and how far she’d come.

Today, she needed a distraction—a fun one. And she knew exactly what to do.

Miles and Gabby.

She smiled to herself as she sat up. The spark between them was undeniable, but Miles, ever the introverted tech wizard, was stubbornly resisting his feelings. Meanwhile, Gabby seemed oblivious, though Y/N had caught her sneaking glances at Miles more than once. It was time to give them a little nudge.

After getting dressed, she walked into the kitchen where CJ was pouring coffee into two mugs. He turned when he heard her, his gaze softening. “Good morning.”

“Morning,” Y/N said, wrapping her arms around him from behind and resting her chin on his shoulder. “I have a mission today.”

“Oh?” CJ handed her a mug and raised an eyebrow. “What kind of mission?”

She sipped her coffee, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Operation Get Miles to Finally Ask Gabby Out.”

CJ chuckled, shaking his head. “You and Gabby are dangerous together. What’s your plan?”

“I haven’t worked out the details yet,” Y/N admitted, “but I’m thinking of setting them up in a situation where they can’t avoid their feelings.”

CJ leaned against the counter, smirking. “You mean trap them together and hope for the best?”

“Pretty much,” Y/N said with a grin. “Don’t act like you don’t want to see this happen too.”

He shrugged, laughing softly. “I’m not denying it. I just think you’re playing with fire.”

“Maybe,” Y/N said, tapping her mug against his. “But it’ll be worth it.”

Y/N walked into the break room, spotting Miles hunched over his laptop at the corner table. His headphones were in, and he was so focused on whatever he was working on that he didn’t notice her approach.

She tapped him on the shoulder, making him jump slightly. “Hey, tech genius. Got a second?”

Miles pulled out his headphones, giving her a suspicious look. “Depends. Am I about to be roped into something?”

Y/N smirked. “Maybe.”

He sighed, closing his laptop. “What do you want?”

“I need your help with something after work,” Y/N said casually, taking a seat across from him. “I’m organizing a team night to unwind. You know, bowling, food, drinks. It’ll be fun.”

Miles narrowed his eyes. “Bowling?”

“Yep,” Y/N said, nodding enthusiastically. “We’re all going—CJ, Gabby, Priya, you. Don’t be a party pooper.”

Miles rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m not exactly a ‘team night’ kind of guy.”

“That’s the beauty of it,” Y/N said, grinning. “Gabby will be there, which means you’ll have someone to talk to the entire night.”

Miles choked on his response, turning a shade of red that confirmed exactly what Y/N already knew. “I don’t—what—I’m not—”

Y/N raised her hand, cutting him off. “Don’t even try to deny it. I’ve seen the way you look at her.”

Miles groaned, covering his face with one hand. “You’re relentless.”

“I’m efficient,” Y/N corrected. “Look, this is your chance. Just go, relax, and see what happens. Worst case, you bowl a terrible game and Gabby teases you for it.”

Miles exhaled sharply, clearly debating it. “Fine,” he muttered. “But if this backfires, I’m blaming you.”

Y/N beamed. “Deal.”

The bowling alley buzzed with laughter and conversation as Y/N, CJ, Gabby, Miles, and Priya settled into their lane. CJ handed out shoes while Y/N set up the scoreboard, intentionally pairing Gabby and Miles together on one team.

Gabby grabbed her bowling ball and grinned at Miles. “Ready to lose?”

Miles smirked, leaning back against the bench. “I think you underestimate how good I am at adapting.”

Gabby rolled her eyes. “We’ll see about that.”

CJ leaned toward Y/N as they watched the playful banter unfold. “You’re enjoying this way too much.”

“Oh, absolutely,” Y/N whispered, slipping her hand into his.

Gabby stepped up to bowl, nailing a strike on her first try. She spun around, throwing her arms in the air triumphantly. “Beat that, Miles.”

Miles stood, adjusting his glasses before grabbing a ball. “Don’t get cocky.”

He rolled the ball, managing a respectable spare. Gabby clapped her hands. “Not bad, tech boy.”

As the game went on, Y/N noticed how Gabby leaned closer to Miles each time she teased him, and how Miles’ usual sarcasm softened into something warmer. When Gabby reached over to fix the cuff of his sleeve without thinking, Y/N knew they were making progress.

During a break between turns, Y/N slipped away to the snack bar with CJ.

“You’ve been watching them like a hawk,” CJ teased, ordering popcorn. “Are we close to victory?”

“Very close,” Y/N said, smiling. “I give it one more hour.”

Toward the end of the night, Gabby was laughing so hard at one of Miles’ sarcastic comments that she leaned into him, clutching his arm for balance. Miles, who normally would’ve pulled away, didn’t move.

Instead, he looked down at her, something shifting in his expression.

Y/N held her breath as she watched from across the room, CJ’s arm around her waist.

Miles cleared his throat, his voice quieter than usual. “You want to grab coffee sometime? Just the two of us?”

Gabby blinked, momentarily caught off guard. “Like... a date?”

Miles’ cheeks turned pink, but he nodded. “Yeah. A date.”

Gabby smiled—soft, genuine, and full of something Y/N hadn’t seen before. “I’d like that.”

Y/N squeezed CJ’s hand excitedly. “Mission accomplished.”

CJ chuckled, pressing a kiss to her temple. “You’re dangerous.”

“I prefer the term ‘effective,’” Y/N said, grinning. “Now, let’s just hope they don’t kill each other during the actual date.”

CJ laughed. “If they do, we’ll still take credit for getting them there.”

As Y/N watched Gabby and Miles exchange numbers, she felt a wave of satisfaction wash over her. For the first time in days, her heart felt light. No matter what challenges lay ahead, she had her found family—and her perfect partner—by her side.

The Saturday morning sun filtered through the sheer curtains of their bedroom, casting soft golden rays over the rumpled sheets and the gentle rise and fall of Y/N’s breathing. The world outside was waking up, but inside, everything was still and peaceful. CJ lay on his side, propped up on one elbow, watching Y/N as she slept.

Her hair was splayed out on the pillow, her lips slightly parted, and one of her hands rested lazily against the edge of the blanket. She looked so serene, so beautifully at ease, that CJ couldn’t bring himself to move for several moments. His heart swelled as he watched her, marveling at how lucky he was to share mornings like this with her.

Leaning down, he pressed a soft, lingering kiss to her bare shoulder, breathing in the scent of her skin—warm, familiar, and intoxicating. Y/N stirred slightly, letting out a soft sigh but not waking up fully. CJ smiled, tracing the outline of her shoulder with his fingertips, his touch featherlight.

He let his lips travel along her shoulder and up the side of her neck, kissing the sensitive spot just below her ear. Y/N hummed in response, her body shifting under the sheets, her eyelids fluttering but still not opening. CJ’s hand slid beneath the covers, gently resting against her waist, his thumb brushing lazy circles against her skin.

“Morning, beautiful,” he murmured softly, his lips brushing against her ear.

Y/N’s eyes slowly blinked open, her gaze hazy and warm as she turned her head slightly to look at him. A sleepy smile spread across her lips. “Mmm, morning,” she whispered, her voice thick with sleep. “You’re up early.”

CJ chuckled, dipping his head to kiss the corner of her mouth. “Couldn’t help it. You’re too tempting.”

Y/N giggled softly, her arms stretching above her head before one of her hands found its way to CJ’s chest, her fingers tracing idle patterns across his skin. “Tempting, huh?”

“Very,” CJ said, his hand sliding further down to rest on the curve of her hip. He leaned in, capturing her lips in a slow, tender kiss, their breaths mingling as the kiss deepened. Y/N’s hand slipped up to cup the back of his neck, pulling him closer as their bodies pressed together under the sheets.

CJ’s hand moved with purpose now, sliding along the curve of her waist and up her back, his fingertips grazing her skin in a way that sent shivers down her spine. Y/N sighed into the kiss, her leg tangling with his as she shifted closer, her body waking fully under his touch.

His lips left hers, trailing down her jaw and back to her neck, where he nipped gently at the spot that always made her breath hitch. Y/N’s fingers tightened in his hair, a soft whimper escaping her lips.

“You’re not playing fair,” she whispered, her voice breathless.

CJ smiled against her neck, his hand sliding down to her thigh and hitching it over his hip. “Never said I would.”

He rolled her onto her back, the weight of him pressing her into the mattress as he gazed down at her, his green eyes dark with desire but still soft with love. Y/N’s hands slid down his back, her nails lightly grazing his skin, making him groan softly.

“CJ,” she murmured, her eyes locking onto his. There was no hesitation, no doubt. Just warmth, trust, and the magnetic pull that always seemed to draw them together.

“I’ve got you,” CJ whispered, leaning down to kiss her again, slow and deep, as if he had all the time in the world.

The kisses grew more urgent, more consuming, their bodies moving instinctively as they shed the last barriers of fabric between them. CJ’s hands explored every inch of her, memorizing the curves he already knew so well but could never get enough of. Y/N arched beneath him, her breath catching as his lips trailed down her collarbone and lower, leaving a path of heat in their wake.

Their movements were unhurried but charged, every touch and kiss laced with both passion and tenderness. Y/N’s hands roamed freely, pulling him closer, her fingers curling against his shoulders as he pressed her deeper into the mattress.

“I love you,” she whispered, her voice a blend of emotion and need.

CJ lifted his head, his gaze locking onto hers. “I love you, too. Always.”

With those words hanging in the air, CJ shifted, aligning their bodies in perfect harmony. He moved slowly, savoring the way she responded to him—the soft gasps, the way her fingers dug into his skin, and the way her body fit against his like they were made for each other.

Their rhythm built gradually, waves of pleasure washing over them as they lost themselves in each other. The room was filled with the sound of their shared breaths, soft moans, and the rustling of sheets as they moved together, their connection deepening with every passing moment.

When they finally reached the edge, they fell together, their cries muffled against each other’s skin. CJ buried his face in the crook of her neck, his breath ragged as he held her tightly, their bodies trembling from the intensity of it all.

Minutes passed, their heartbeats slowly returning to normal as they lay tangled in the sheets. CJ brushed a strand of hair from Y/N’s face, his fingers lingering on her cheek as he gazed at her.

“You’re everything,” he whispered, his voice raw with emotion.

Y/N smiled, tears glistening in her eyes. “So are you.”

CJ pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, pulling her into his arms as they settled into the warmth of the morning. The world outside could wait. Right now, this was all they needed.

The golden light streaming through the windows had grown brighter, casting a warm glow over the bedroom as CJ and Y/N lay tangled together beneath the sheets. Their legs were entwined, her head resting on his chest as his fingers lazily traced patterns along her back. The soft hum of their breaths filled the quiet room, and for a moment, neither of them wanted to move.

But eventually, Y/N giggled softly, breaking the peaceful silence. “We can’t stay here all day.”

CJ let out a playful groan. “Why not? I’m pretty sure the world wouldn’t miss us for a few more hours.”

“Maybe,” Y/N said, lifting her head to look at him, her eyes sparkling. “But I’m hungry.”

CJ smirked, brushing his fingers through her messy hair. “Did I wear you out that much?”

Y/N laughed, her cheeks flushing. “I guess you did. But you’re making breakfast, right?”

CJ gave her an exaggerated sigh and grinned. “Fine. But only because you’re too cute to say no to.”

He kissed her forehead before pulling back the covers and getting out of bed, slipping on a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt. Y/N followed, grabbing his hoodie from the chair and pulling it over her head, the soft fabric engulfing her.

She padded barefoot into the kitchen behind him, the smell of coffee lingering faintly from the pot CJ had brewed earlier. Their apartment was quiet except for the sound of the birds chirping outside the window and the faint buzz of the city waking up.

CJ set a pan on the stove while Y/N leaned against the counter, watching him with a content smile. “What’s on the menu, Chef Braxton?”

“Something simple,” CJ said, cracking eggs into a bowl. “Scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast. But I make killer scrambled eggs, just so you know.”

Y/N laughed, grabbing a mug and pouring herself a cup of coffee. “I’ll be the judge of that.”

She hopped up onto the counter, swinging her legs as she sipped her coffee and watched him move around the kitchen. There was something soothing about the way he worked—effortless and confident, as though this was exactly where he was meant to be. And maybe, just maybe, she was exactly where she was meant to be too.

“Do you ever think about how different life would be if we hadn’t met?” she asked suddenly, her voice soft.

CJ glanced over at her, a warm smile spreading across his face. “I think about that all the time. And then I thank whatever fate brought us together.”

Y/N’s heart swelled as she set her coffee down and hopped off the counter. She walked over to him, wrapping her arms around his waist from behind and resting her cheek against his back. “I do too. I can’t imagine life without you.”

CJ turned off the burner, setting the pan aside before turning around and pulling her into his arms. “Good. Because you’re stuck with me.”

Y/N smiled up at him, her fingers playing with the hem of his shirt. “Forever?”

CJ leaned down, brushing his lips against hers in a soft kiss. “Forever.”

They stood there for a moment, swaying gently as if the world outside didn’t exist. Eventually, the sound of sizzling bacon pulled them back to reality, and CJ chuckled, pulling away to finish cooking.

A few minutes later, they were sitting at the small dining table, plates of scrambled eggs, crispy bacon, and buttered toast in front of them. Y/N took a bite of the eggs, her eyes widening in surprise.

“Okay, you weren’t lying,” she said, pointing her fork at him. “These are really good.”

CJ laughed, taking a bite of his own food. “Told you. I have many talents.”

“Oh, I know,” Y/N teased, her eyes twinkling.

They ate in comfortable silence for a while, exchanging soft smiles and playful touches across the table. Y/N couldn’t help but marvel at how easy it was to be with him. There was no pretense, no pressure—just love, laughter, and the quiet joy of being together.

When breakfast was over, CJ leaned back in his chair, watching her as she finished the last bite of her toast. “So, what’s the plan for the rest of the day?”

Y/N tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Hmm. We could go for a walk, maybe stop by that little bookstore you like. Or we could stay home and be lazy.”

CJ raised an eyebrow. “Are you suggesting another lazy day in bed?”

“Maybe,” Y/N said, biting her lip playfully. “Unless you have a better idea.”

CJ stood, walking over to her and pulling her out of her chair. “I don’t think there is a better idea.”

Y/N giggled as he scooped her into his arms, carrying her back toward the bedroom. “You’re ridiculous.”

“You love it,” CJ said, grinning.

And she did. More than she could put into words.

As they tumbled back into bed, laughter filling the room, Y/N realized that this—these simple, beautiful moments—was what love looked like. Not just the grand gestures, but the mornings spent cooking breakfast, the lazy afternoons spent reading together, and the nights spent tangled in each other’s arms.

With CJ, she had found home. And in that moment, she knew she would never let it go.

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10: slow down, romeo

words: 1.9k

warnings: swearing

——————————

Taehyun made himself comfortable on the sofa, propped his laptop up on his knees, and checked for the third time that his webcam was off. He couldn’t believe he ever thought he could do this on his own.

He felt like your almost-kiss that night the surge protector blew had been a sign that you liked him back, but the second your friend Soobin walked through the door he started to doubt that.

You’d taken the time to introduce him, which was a courtesy Taehyun didn’t expect people like you to extend to people like him before he met you. His disappointment kicked right back in when you and Soobin headed straight for your bedroom.

He swiftly gave up on the paper he was writing and moved to the kitchen, meal prepping for the rest of the week. You made fun of him for that frequently, for his bland meals of chicken breast and broccoli and protein supplements. If this was what having feelings was like, he’d rather not have them at all.

That was where he was when Soobin left. You walked your friend to the door, hugged him goodbye, and he whispered something into your ear. Taehyun set his knife down on the chopping board and texted the love whisperer.

That’s how he got here — caught red-handed when you walked out of your room with your phone pressed to your ear. When you started talking, asking can you hear me okay?, your voice began coming out of his laptop speakers.

He left the Zoom meeting as quickly as humanly possible and slammed his laptop shut hard enough to damage it, but it was too late. You were the fucking love whisperer. That somehow made total and no sense at the same time.

As his world crumbled around him he sat rigidly on the sofa, for the first time in his life completely lost as to what to do. You sat down next to him and called his name, but he kept his face buried in his hands, refusing to look at you.

“God. Fuck,” he muttered, bouncing his leg so vigorously the entire sofa shook.  You knew, of course you did. You knew he liked you. “How did you not figure out it was me? I said such specific things,” he wondered aloud, lost in thought.

“Because you’re the last person I would expect to text the love whisperer? You hate love,” you replied, defensive. “I mean, I did know. But I- it’s complicated.”

He took that to mean you were so repulsed by the thought of him liking you that you couldn’t bear to entertain it for even a moment. Neither could he.

“Why would you do that for free? Where’s the ROI?” he asked, changing the topic. The heater was broken as usual, but he felt unbearably warm. 

“That’s your next question?” you said, incredulous, throwing your head back and laughing. He swore he had never believed in magic until he heard you laugh. “You’re such a business major. Love is the ultimate return on investment.”

“Ew. Gross. Fuck love,” he answered, wrinkling his nose and not meaning any of it.

“So you don’t love me?” you asked, shoulders falling, voice softening, eyes turning down at the corners.

“No, of course not. I’ve known you for two months.”

Why did you give a fuck if he loved you or not? For you, he was just your weird loner roommate who’d poured his heart and soul out to you without knowing it. You, who had most of the student body wrapped around their finger, cared about what he thought of you. A nobody.

He scoffed, deflecting yet again, hoping you wouldn’t steer the conversation back to him basically admitting outright he had feelings for you. “What’s so great about love, anyway?”

Whether you were just mercifully humouring his diversions because you could see how embarrassed he was or you had genuinely forgotten what led you into this situation, he wasn’t sure. But either way, you dropped the love whisperer thing.

“It’s so hard to get just right,” you answered. “It’s rare enough to love someone, let alone have them love you back at the same time. The sheer improbability of love is what makes it special when two people come together and build something beautiful out of it,” you said wistfully.

It must be nice to think like that, he mused. Your eyes seemed to sparkle as you spoke, and he was transfixed.

“Look, Soobin likes Chungmi, Chungmi likes Yeonjun, Yeonjun likes me, or so he says, I like-” you cut yourself off, and his heart sank.

It was Soobin, it had to be.

You continued, “Anyway, my point is that love is a fucked up food chain. So when it does work, it-”

He couldn’t take it anymore.

“What about you?” he blurted out, interrupting you.

“What about me?” you echoed, confused.

It was so embarrassing to want.

“The food chain. I have feelings for you,” he declared. “Do you have feelings for someone else?”

You already knew that, but to lay all his cards on the table so openly was another round of humiliation. From how hard his heart was beating he could understand why he usually chose to avoid torturous shit like this.

He couldn’t deliver grand romantic declarations of his undying affection for you, the types of confessions you swooned over in your black and white films. He wasn’t good with words. He couldn’t give you what you wanted apart from hope you were good at reading eyes.

“I do have feelings for someone,” you answered after a short silence, holding his gaze. You usually didn’t; you were much flightier than he was.

“Oh. Alright.” He nodded, holding back a sigh. He should have expected that, but his heart collapsed in on itself anyway. When he next spoke, he sounded disinterested again. “Well, good talk.”

You reached out and put your hand on his forearm to stop him as he stood up, ready to crawl back to his room and never leave. Just that simple touch made him nervous all over again.

“Don’t you want to know who it is?” you pushed.

Why would he? To listen to you go on and on about the person you liked after he’d been exposed and rejected in all but name? But he did sit back down.

“Not particularly-”

It was your turn to interrupt him. The kiss was so quick. Your lips were on his for less than a second, not even enough time for him to close his eyes. Or register what had happened. He stared at you, eyes wide and unblinking, frozen in shock.

“What-”

“It’s you, Taehyun,” you smiled, now seeming slightly bashful. “I like you.”

His eyes widened even more, which he didn’t think was possible. This had to be a bit, surely.

“Say it again,” he said, dazed, reaching for your hand.

“Kang Taehyun, I like you,” you repeated, enunciating each word with the utmost care.

He grinned, feeling like his entire body had come alive as he cupped your face and held you close. Time stopped as he kissed you and you folded instantly under his touch, your lips moving with his so naturally it was as if you’d kissed him dozens of times before.

“Can I tell you a secret?” you mumbled against his mouth, playing with his hair. He preened at the sensation, breaking the kiss to give you his full attention. “You were my favourite client.”

“Really?” he asked, feeling the blush return to his cheeks. God, he couldn’t believe he’d said all of those things to you.

“Yeah. I fell for you twice, you know? Once as Kang Taehyun and once as TH,” you told him, smiling. “The way you talked about your crush was so sweet, and you were so loving.”

It was you; you were the one you’d made him act and feel that way. Only you.

“How bad were your other clients?” he joked, diffusing the emotional weight of the moment. But even as he was trying to lighten the mood he was holding onto your hand tightly and brushing his thumb over your cheek, staring into your eyes. He could look at you forever.

“You’d be surprised. A lot of them were terrible,” you answered. “Talking about their crushes like objects, trying to break up relationships, telling me all their sexual fetishes completely unprompted-”

He laughed. “Maybe stop worrying about everyone else’s love lives for a second, yeah? Just focus on me.”

He kissed you again, deeper this time, feeling you smile against his lips as you wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Slow down, Romeo. When did you get so suave?” you said when you pulled apart.

“I learnt from the best.”

——————————

Sitting on the sofa with your boyfriend Kang Taehyun was infinitely better than sitting on the sofa with your roommate Kang Taehyun. You were half-lying on his chest with his arm wrapped around your shoulder and chin resting on your head, your face tucked into the crook of his neck, snuggling together under some blankets.

“Did you really think Soobin and I were dating?” you asked.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he mumbled, a blush already blooming on his cheeks again. “Please erase my client records from your memory.”

“Then I’d forget all the sweet things you said about me!” you teased. He groaned in embarrassment and scrunched his nose. “You call yourself a cynic, but I don’t think you are. I think you secretly love love,” you continued, giggling at his flushed cheeks.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” he said, rolling his eyes, but you could hear the smile in his words without needing to see him.

With the warmth radiating off his body, his arm holding you tight to his chest, and the soothing vibrations of his low voice, you were fairly sure you could fall asleep right then and there.

You lifted your chin to give him a peck on his jaw, just under his ear. He shivered at that, although he tried to hide it. Cute.

“Humour me just this once, Taehyun. What does love mean to you?” you asked, laying your head back down on his chest and closing your eyes.

He adjusted his glasses and cleared his throat. “Love is eternal. It has been the strongest motivation for human actions throughout history,” he recited. “Love is stronger than life. It reaches beyond the dark shadow of death.”

You raised your head again, staring at him in confusion. If he was annoyed by how much you were moving around, he made no indication of it.

“How do you know that?” you asked.

“Laura, 1944, directed by Otto Preminger,” he said with a proud grin. “I watched it the other day because you said you liked it.”

You could fall in love with someone in two months, you decided. But you’d keep that to yourself for now. You weren’t in a hurry or anything.

“The character who says that is the murderer,” you told him.

His face fell. “Oh. Well, I couldn’t finish it,” he admitted with a shrug.

You gasped in faux offence and sat up. “It’s critically acclaimed! How could you not finish it?”

He laughed and pulled you back into his embrace, kissing your cheek.

“Don’t need to. I’ve got the real thing right here.”

——————————

thanks for reading!

-minastras <3

[whencyclopedia]

The Nerge: Hunting in the Mongol Empire

The peoples of the Mongol Empire (1206-1368 CE) were nomadic, and they relied on hunting wild game as a valuable source of protein. The Asian steppe is a desolate, windy, and often bitterly cold environment, but for those Mongols with sufficient skills at riding and simultaneously using a bow, there were wild animals to be caught to supplement their largely dairy-based diet. Over time, hunting and falconry became important cultural activities and great hunts were organised whenever there were major clan gatherings and important celebrations. These hunts involved all of the tribe mobilising across vast areas of steppe to corner game into a specific area, a technique known as the nerge. The skills and strategies used during the nerge were often repeated with great success by Mongol cavalry on the battlefield across Asia and in Eastern Europe.

Hunted Animals

The Mongols, like other nomadic peoples of the Asian steppe, relied on milk from their livestock for food and drink, making cheese, yoghurt, dried curds and fermented drinks. The animals they herded - sheep, goats, oxen, camels and yaks - were generally too precious as a regular source of wool and milk to kill for meat and so protein was acquired through hunting, essentially any wild animal that moved. Animals hunted in the medieval period included hares, deer, antelopes, wild boars, wild oxen, marmots, wolves, foxes, rabbits, wild asses, Siberian tigers, lions, and many wild birds, including swans and cranes (using snares and falconry). Meat was especially in demand when great feasts were held to celebrate tribal occasions and political events such as the election of a new khan or Mongol ruler.

A basic division of labour was that women did the cooking and men did the hunting. Meat was typically boiled and more rarely roasted and then added to soups and stews. Dried meat (si'usun) was an especially useful staple for travellers and roaming Mongol warriors. In the harsh steppe environment, nothing was wasted and even the marrow of animal bones was eaten with the leftovers then boiled in a broth to which curd or millet was added. Animal sinews were used in tools and fat was used to waterproof items like tents and saddles.

The Mongols considered eating certain parts of those wild animals which were thought to have potent spirits such as wolves and even marmots a help with certain ailments. Bear paws, for example, were thought to help increase one's resistance to cold temperatures. Such concoctions as powdered tiger bone dissolved in liquor, which is attributed all sorts of benefits for the body, is still a popular medicinal drink today in parts of East Asia.

Besides food and medicine, game animals were also a source of material for clothing. A bit of wolf or snow leopard fur trim to an ordinary robe indicated the wearer was a member of the tribal elite. Fur-lined jackets, trousers, and boots were a welcome insulator against the bitter steppe winters, too.

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[thatweirdtranny]

why do you believe veganism is a cult

/neutral, just interested in hearing opinions!

i don’t think all vegans subscribe to the cult nonsense of the main vegan movement, and honestly i wouldn’t be surprised if the culty vegans are just a loud minority, but the vegan movement as is it is right now just screams cult to me

and i’m not going to pretend to be an expert on cults, i can’t say factually whether it is one or not, but some of the reasons i think it smells culty are:

only members are good and righteous and all non-members or ex-members are treated like we’re scum

facts are unimportant to them — “what do you mean that eating meat can be good for the environment depending on how you source it? those are lies and i’m gonna doxx you for saying it”

brainwashing is a main MO — people will be vegan for years convinced they’re the healthiest they’ve ever been even though they’re tired and depressed all the time (it’s almost like we need a complete protein and easily digestible nutrients to be healthy, and nothing has better nutrient bioavailability than animal products), ntm the way they peddle cowspiracy as if that’s some kind of pinnacle of facts

all or nothing mentality — if you eat one animal product over the course of ten years and you don’t regret it you’re not “really vegan” whatever tf that means. worse, i’ve seen r/vegan get up in arms a hundred times over celebrities quitting veganism, saying ex-vegans were never True Vegans

etc etc etc (my brain can’t come up with anymore rn)

basically i don’t think every vegan is like this and i fully respect someone’s right to eat what they want, and i appreciate how so much of the vegan movement cares about the environment

but i personally will never go anywhere near veganism again. the greater vegan community is just too damn toxic for me to deal with and i think a majority of ex-vegans like myself would attest to that.