#mainly alternative

[the-insomniac-emporium]

*a thunk against the window*

gasp! more Valentines, delivered by everybody's favorite crow!!!

(Cornelius art by myself, all other sprites from Resident Lover, credit to the wonderful @dead-finches)

and the promised templates are available under the cut (there's a lot):

[emthimofnight]

My dear friend @einelitas wanted me to take a crack at designing a silvaze fankid, and here she is!!! 🥰 Serene is a quiet, polite, and intelligent person, but she struggles to make friends. She has immense telekinetic power, just like her dad!

[captainneedsnosleep]

They are idiots, your honor! Have you read The Season? Why haven't you read The Season?!

[dustykneed]

Picture this; Bones holding Joanna, rocking her to sleep and the part in Beautiful Boy where it’s like “The monster's gone, He's on the run, And your daddy's here” is playing. :,)

Fatherhood gives you certain... skills. Coincidentally, this is also how Jim finds out that Bones sings.

:'))

[heatherchasesyou]

Sketch page momentttt ✌️😁

[meamiiikiii]

what to do when you forget your umbrella!

i will not elaborate.

((these drawings are a GSNK rain scene reference ADSAFFASD))

bonus isolated (isalated?) running isa as a treat for his birthday:

[lividmorris]

Snow Son…. Save me… they’ve taken over my mind…

(alt version below)

[looseinthecatroom]

Dreams just like us fr

He really saw Hob Gadling in 1589 and went: “You’re stable?? Happy?? Heterosexual*???

Boring.

I’ll be over there chatting with the art twink if anyone needs me.“

Then Hob comes back in 1689 like “I’M FILTHY, TRAUMATIZED, MISERABLE, YET FULL OF HOPE” and Dream is really like:

“At last. A blorbo.”

[scrollonso]

First Kiss (Race 5)

A strollonso AU where 18 year old rookie Lance Stroll falls helplessly in love with the notoriously mean world champion. (1.9k words, angst, description of a car crash, drunk lance, fluffy ending) [@v3lnys @biancathecool] {I picked David Coulthard to be the cause of the crash because he DNF in Europe 2006 and bc he's no stranger to being yelled at for crashes, LMAO}

last part - masterlist - next part

Lance walked back into the paddock, engaged in a conversation with Nico. He had yet to get his actual drivers liscense out of pure laziness so the German was left to drive them almost everywhere together.

"Thanks again" Lance laughed, feeling slightly bad for making Nico be his personal chauffeur.

"Don't thank me, I only do it so people believe our PR friendships real" He joked, nudging the taller man with his elbow

"Ow" Lance frowned, clutching his heart "Words hurt, Rosberg" He looked down, trying to hide the smile on his face

"Cmon, daddy didn't tell you he's paying me for this?"

"No way, are we both being paid?" Lance looked up, the fake shocked expression on his face earning a laugh from his teammate

Qualifying was okay, Nico secured 9th and Lance got 12th (after a minor chassis problem that caused him to have to pit for half of quali)

Lance should've been upset but he didn't mind, he'd been in front of Nico most of the season so far so he was looking forward to letting his teammate shine.

Of course he wanted to win like everyone else in F1 but the last thing he was going to do was let it ruin personal relationships he was building, work was completely different than home, his friends were different than the coworkers he knew.

He greeted Nico warmly, congratulating him as Quali ended, wishing him good luck on the race the next day.

Fernando came over not long after, having secured pole position.

"Lancito, good job today" He hummed, patting the Canadian on the back

"I'm convinced I could get p30 and you'd still congratulate me" Lance laughed, wrapping his arm around the Spaniard

"It takes a lot of skill to do so bad they have to make a new space for you" Fernando shook his head, his lips slightly curved up as he spoke

"I'm just saving all my energy for the race when I overtake you"

"Oh, really? I'll keep an eye out for you then, mi sol" He said, eyes only leaving Lance when he heard his name being called, his engineer needing him "Good luck tomorrow, Lancito. Let's get you points again, eh?"

Lance nodded, watching as the older man left, feeling his heart flutter in his chest as he thought about how he was looking up at him. It felt nice having someone to admire in the sport as much as Lance admired Fernando, he was a great driver.

Time passed faster than Lance thought it would, before Lance knew it he was lined up on the grid, eyes scanning the cars around him, David Coulthard in p11 next to him.

As the lights went out and the race begun he sent it, overtaking into p10 almost straight away, Coulthard close behind him.

It stayed this way for a few laps, the Brit almost on his rear wing as they raced, he was just trying to keep him there.

It seemed as if everything was going according to plan until the pair reached turn 14 once more, Coulthard was sure he'd be able to overtake, speeding up and reaching Lances side just to be met with their wheels touching, Lance could feel it in his body as the drivers car made contact with his, his left back tire practically flying off his car as he spun out of controll, David losing his front wing as Lance spun of the track, causing him to pull off as well, tire losing air as both cars came to a stop.

They were on opposite sides of the track, the asphalt between them stopping any conversations from happening.

Once he reached the Racing Point garage he was quick to storm down the pit lane, tearing off his helmet and balaclava as he found his way to the Red Bull garage, Brad trying to stop the fuming Canadian

"Lance, Lance stop it. Come back to the garage we need to-"

"Fuck off, Okay? This is a fucking sport and a part of that is talking it out after shit like this happens. Believe me, I have some things to say to Coulthard." He practically spat, not meaning to take his anger out on his engineer but he was the closest one there

They reached the garage, a crowd forming as the two began speaking

"Do you feel better now? Fighting with me over tenth place knowing damn well neither of us were in the position to earn points anyways?"

"I know you're a rookie so you might not get it yet but part of RACING is OVERTAKING, I was doing what I'm here to do."

"You're here to destroy my car and run me off the fucking track? Really? I find that hard to fucking believe, Coulthard."

"Oh come on, Lance. We all know your daddy doesn't have a problem with fixing your mistakes. That's how you got the seat, right? Daddy knew you fuck up too much to get a seat so he bought two for you and Keke Rosbergs son."

"You have a lot of fucking nerve, Coulthard. You know that?" Lance got closer, he already wasn't finishing the race so how much harm would a little physical contact outside of the car cause?

By now both of the teams where trying to stop the drivers, yelling and trying to get between the two men, blinded by anger towards one another

The race was slowly finishing, Fernando ending up in p2 as the fight was still going on, Lance screaming into the 35 year olds face as he scoffed, refusing to apologize, Lance didn't think of himself as a violent person but he wasn't going to stand around and let some ugly arrogant prick disrespect him and refuse to admit the crash was his fault.

"YOU RUINED THE RACE FOR THE BOTH OF US." All he wanted was for that to get through the Englishmans thick fucking skull "God, you're a fucking fils de pute." He spoke under his breath, astonished at the audacity of the racer "You know, for someone who's been racing for twelve years and hasn't even come close to a world championship you sure are a stuck up cunt."

And with that Lance was finally pulled away from the garage, David Coulthard having nothing to say in response.

Lance felt like he was getting scolded for hours, even if it was only 15 minutes, the team trying to explain how he shouldn't have done that even if it was Coulthards fault

"Lancito?" He heard a familiar voice, being snapped away from his thoughts as he shot up, leaving members of the team in the middle of their sentences to go to Fernando

"Thank fucking god you're here. Are you thirsty? I'd kill for a drink right now"

"Lancito, Are you sure drinking is the best thing for you to do now?" He questioned as if he wasn't still following behind him

"What, do you think I'm being dramatic too?" He scoffed, stopping in his tracks to turn back to Fernando, he looked mad to anyone else but Fernando knew he was just hurt, Lance hated crashes, hated not finishing, hated disappointing people, and even though the last thing Fernando was was disappointed in the boy he knew Lance would still think he was.

"Let's get you that drink, mi sol. Getting your mind off it will help, eh?"

Lance expected to be taken to some cheap place around the city but instead Fernando drove them back to his hotel, deciding it'd be better to let Lance cause a scene in his hotel room rather than in some German bar.

The two drank together, Lances lack of experience and tollerance when it came to alcohol being painfully obvious.

"He's such a prick" Lance slurred, his voice more whiney than usual

"I know, Lancito, He really is." Fernando hummed, leaning back in his chair as his eyes stayed on the Canadian

"You're like my guardian angel, Nando, y'know?" Lance looked at him, lips slightly curved before he began speaking again "Never stop congratualting me, please, it-" hiccup "It means a lot"

Fernando just nodded, setting down his glass

"I-" He stopped abruptly, drinking more "I love doing good, when I do good I know you'll be proud of me" He ran his fingers through his hair, annoyed at the long strands covering his vision "I'm sorry- I'm sorry I'm not the best, Nando" He confessed, looking over at the Spaniard "I don't deserve my seat, but- but it's okay because I get to see you, I love seeing you win, it makes what people say about me worth it when I'm the first one you come to after the podium"

Fernando just listened, not saying much as it became more and more evident Lance would forget it all by the next morning anyway

"I-" hiccup " I love seeing you walk to me, passing all the girls, they're so pretty, it makes no sense why you walk past them for me, but i love it, seeing you ignore them and look at me like I'm prettier than all of them" hiccup

He smiled, not being able to help it as he heard the younger ramble on, glad he was no longer stuck on being upset about the crash

"Don't stop, Nando"

"Hm?" Fernando hummed, watching Lance set down his glass. He took that as a chance to stand up and snatch it away, figuring the younger man had drank enough. Fernando and Lance were now closer, Fernando looking down at Lance as he awaited a response

"Looking at me like this, taking care of me how you do, please don't leave me, Nando" He begged, reaching out for the Spaniards arm "Promise me you'll never stop congratulating me after races, please Nando, I need you."

He was taken aback by the sudden change in tone Lance had brought to the conversation. Fernando swallowed dryly, staring back at the Canadian, he looked gorgeous, the waves of his hair messily laying across his face, the lighting hitting him just right to show off the gorgeous colour of his eyes

"Let's get you to bed, Lance." He whispered, helping him stand up as he walked with him to his bed, pulling back the covers with one hand while he held Lance with the other, surprised at how light the Canadian really was

He sat Lance down, kneeling to take off his shoes before instructing him to lay down and pulling the covers back up.

"Goodnight, Lancito" He whispered, brushing the hair from his face as the Canadian hummed a response, not fighting sleep as it took over him surprisingly fast

Fernando on the other hand was fighting, not sleep, but the feelings Lance brought to light with his drunken words. He hadn't thought much of it before, sure he felt different with Lance than he did with his other friends but he was so much younger that he figured he was just taking a more mature role in the friendship. Now he wasn't so sure.

[fag4dykestobin]

i kind of sat down and thought about steve and robin cooking together, and then i entered a fugue state and came out of it with a little over 1.7k words written about them being domestic besties (domesties?). so um. enjoy :)

-

Robin has destroyed one of her mom’s pans again, so she’s been banished to Steve’s house.

Well, okay, let’s back up.

Robin, waking up and feeling especially productive, had taken it upon herself to make some scrambled eggs. Nice and simple, right? So she had grabbed the first spatula and pan she could find, and… scrambled those eggs! She even remembered the salt and pepper! Unfortunately, as Robin had remembered after she oh-so-lovingly scraped off the nonstick coating, metal utensils and nonstick pans didn’t really get along. Oops. Panicking, she had scraped her mess into the trash and called Steve to pick her up. So, really, she had banished herself, preemptively.

“How the hell did you even do this much damage?” Steve asks, holding up the pan. The look of befuddlement on his face is picture perfect; you could teach children how to identify emotions with that face. Robin would pinch his cheek if she wasn’t so embarrassed.

“I don’t know! I just tried to make some eggs!”

“Rob, there’s like, a solid cube of—”

“A cube is a 3D object, dingus.”

“This is a 3D object!”

“Not in that way! It’s not a cube! You mean a square!”

Steve throws up his hands, one of them brandishing the pan and waving it around. “Fine! There’s a solid square…” Steve gives Robin a look. She nods her head at him in acquiescence. “... Of coating rubbed off of this thing. Why were you punishing your eggs like that?”

Robin leans back on the counter she’s been sitting on, legs swinging. Her heel hits the cabinet once, and Steve’s eye twitches, but he says nothing. Because he loves her. But she tries to avoid doing it again, for his sake. “I had to get that yolk distributed! I was working fast, Evie, the burner was on and I wanted it evenly mixed—!”

“So why didn’t you mix it in a bowl before that?!” Steve looks so stressed. It's kind of funny, given how unimportant the subject matter is. Robin suppresses a grin.

“I forgot! I was groggy!”

Steve groans, setting the ruined pan down and rubbing a hand over his face. “... When we move in together,” he says, pointing an accusatory finger at Robin, “I am keeping my metal utensils in a locked safe.”

The warm, fuzzy feeling that always appears when Robin is reminded of their future together, their permanence in each other’s lives, it fizzes and pops in her chest like a sparkler. It’s still such a comforting feeling, even after all these months.

It doesn’t stop her from antagonizing him a little. “Like I don’t know what combination you’ll set it to,” she scoffs.  “I could just break in. To spite you.”

Steve sits with that for a moment. “You’re breaking my heart, Robbie, you know that? You break my heart.” Not a real comeback. She’s won their battle of the bits, this time around.

“Well, anyway,” Steve continues, “I am really hoping you didn’t eat those eggs after seasoning them with metal filings.”

“It wasn’t— I don’t think the coating is metal. I don’t know what it is, actually, but I don’t think it falls under metal filings.”

Steve hmms. “Well, it’s not, like, plastic, right? Or silicone? That would just melt.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Well, it can’t be metal, because it loses a fight with metal spatulas.”

Steve thinks for a second. “Is… God, I mean, I guess there are other, other uh… what’s the word? For, like, not from plants?” Robin scrunches her brow in thought. “Synthetic? Inorganic?”

Steve snaps his fingers. “Yeah, both of those work. There’s probably things that aren’t plastic or metal that can be used to cook with, but it feels weird. That there’s another category out there.”

Robin nods in agreement, and they sit in companionable silence for a moment, contemplating on the nature of cookware.

“Anyway, no, I still haven’t eaten.”

Steve curses, gets up from leaning on his kitchen island, and steps over to the cabinets where he keeps his pots and pans. “Yes, God, okay, let me feed you. Still want eggs?”

“You know it!” Robin says, and Steve gets to cooking, bustling around the kitchen with practiced motions. It’s nice to watch him cook. He gets very focused, in a way that doesn’t usually come naturally to him. Steve doesn’t usually like talking while he’s cooking, but he hums bits of songs, bobs his head to the beat.

In no time at all he has a plate of scrambled eggs and toast in front of Robin, and she hops off the counter to sit at a stool at the kitchen island. She grabs the plate from Steve and smacks a wet kiss on his cheek, making him roll his eyes with a smile and subtly wipe her spit off.

Steve takes a seat across from her, and she notices that he doesn’t have anything. Did he already eat? “Did you already eat?” Robin asks.

Steve blinks. “Oh. No, I forgot.” He has a tendency to do that; when he cooks for someone, he can get so caught up in it that he forgets to make some for himself, and is left to scramble afterwards. “I’ll make myself some eggs after you’re done.”

An idea comes to mind. An attempt at redemption, maybe. “Let me?” Robin asks.

“And let you ruin my pans? No thanks.”

A flash of genuine hurt passes through Robin, and she lets it show on her face in the form of a pout. The comment isn’t unfounded, but… “No, please! I know what I did wrong, I’ll do better this time. I’m not sleepy anymore, either.” She just wants to take care of Steve like he takes care of her. She wants to feed him eggs, goddamnit! When was the last time anyone fed him eggs? Actually, if she thinks about that one, she’ll get sad, so she stops thinking about it.

Steve can obviously see her earnestness, and he softens. And rolls his eyes. But that’s just him being Steve, so Robin loves it. “Whatever you want, Birdie. Just don’t burn them. Oh, and use garlic powder.”

So Robin practically inhales the rest of her eggs and toast (very tasty, as always) and gets to work. Steve sits at his stool at the island, trying and failing not to watch Robin like a hawk as she bumbles around his kitchen (“That’s not enough garlic powder, Rob, put some more in there, it won’t bite!”  and “Use the small pan on the top shelf— no, the other small pan. No, the other—”), but she does eventually get a plate of eggs and toast in front of him. Not as good looking as the one Steve presented her, but it smelled good, and didn’t have weird inorganic pan flecks in them. Steve gives her a sloppy kiss on her cheek this time, over-exaggerating and putting way too much saliva in it, seriously, was he a dog or something? Robin BLECH’d and rubbed at her cheek, but he looked happy at his plate of food, so. Overall success, even if sacrifices had to be made.

Robin leaned on the island on her elbows, face a foot away from Steve’s as he picked up a forkful of egg. He side-eyed her.

“Do you… want some…?”

Robin waved a hand at him. “No, dingus. Eat it! Do you like it?”

“Okay, okay!” Steve rolled his eyes and ate his forkful. Robin stared at him as he chewed, looking out for emotions such as delight and wonder, but also disgust and revulsion.

She found nothing. Steve looked normal. He ate another forkful, eyeing her.

“So?” Robin prods.

“They’re eggs?” Steve says, mouth still half full.

“Swallow!” Steve rolls his eyes and does as she asks. “Nothing else? They’re just eggs?”

Steve nods, shrugging a little. Robin feels a little let-down. The first time Steve had made her eggs, it was life-changing. He put heavy cream in them. Robin doesn’t think her parents had ever bought heavy cream in their lives.

Robin guesses that it makes sense, though. This is just how he makes eggs, duh. Still, it makes her feel kind of bad, that she couldn’t give Steve the same feeling he gave her.

Steve seems to sense her inner turmoil. “They’re— it’s good, though! You did a good job. I do like it.” He seems kind of… embarrassed, but grateful. “You didn’t have to make them for me. Thanks.”

Robin bumps his shoulder with her own, and then retreats to her seat, allowing him a bit more personal space. But not too much! She kicks at his shins, and he kicks back, a smile on his face.

Cleanup is easy as Steve washes the dishes and Robin dries. It’s the small, domestic things, like this, that make her so excited to eventually live together. It’s so easy and companionable, full of chatter about band practice and Dustin’s latest science experiment. She can’t wait to graduate.

After the dishes, though, they’re both at the kitchen island again, silently staring at the pan Robin had ruined at her house earlier.

“... It seems like a waste to throw away,” Robin complains.

“I know, right? But it’s, like, useless now.”

Robin hums. “I mean, no, it’s still like… metal. I feel like we should be melting it down.”

Steve stares at her. “In what world would it be more useful melted down?”

Robin squawks, indignant at her idea being challenged. “You know what I mean!”

“No I don’t! Do you just want a, a… what’s the word? A bar of metal.”

“Ingot.”

“Do you just want an ingot hanging out on our mantelpiece?!”

“Well, I didn’t before, but now I do!”

They look at each other for only a moment before dissolving into simultaneous giggles, shared joy crackling and leaping between them.

Steve settles down first. Still grinning, he turns to put the pan at the very top of a relatively bare cupboard. “Fine, we’ll just… keep this to be melted down later.”

Robin can’t do anything to stop the twin grin on her face, not that she would ever want to. “I love you, Evie.” The words come easy, and the delight and surprise on Steve’s face is as wonderful as always. He pulls her into a hug.

“I love you too, Rob.”

[havesome-mack-andcheese]

another Cipher AU I made!

in this AU, he already has a physical form kind of, but not enough power to open a rift between dimensions therefore he's just been kinda sitting in a cave.

THE INTERESTING PART: basically when Ford refuses to keep helping him after finding out Bill's true motives, Bill kinda.... kills him. like rips his head off. and then is like "man it'd be funny if I wore his body as a suit." then he wears his body as a suit, trying to build the portal on his own. there was no point in stealing his body bill just thought it's be great cuz he's disrespectful.

(btw the only reason bill has a physical form is because he DID figure out how to get himself through the dimension line, but not the rest of his henchmaniacs)

[max-the-silly-guy]

LITTLEBIGPLANET X HAZBIN HOTEL AU REAL??1?1?1?

How did I think of newtons design i wanna eat it it looks scrumptious

Huskerdust as avalarry my beloveds

Giggles>:33

[cornflower-cowboy]

The reason I love the variations of McSpirk is because it's got a bit of my favorite tropes.

McKirk - Friends to Lovers

Spirk - Enemies to Friends to Lovers

Spones - Enemies to Lovers

[cannibalovers]

ok yall once again, cuz idk if to keep posting the hannibal song of the day stuff i do where i take songs mainly from my playlists and analyse their meaning and write why i think they apply to hannibal,

not like i have much time anyway cuz of exams and school but still,, quite fun to do from time to time when i do have motivation, just dk how easy it is to understand what I write and how enjoyable it is

also suggestions for other names other than "hannibal song of the day" would be very appreciated and welcome cuz i am def not posting daily LMAO but i had no other ideas for a memorable name

[lets-try-some-writing]

The Grim Dark Archives: Transcript #002

[Transcript taken October 1st 2004 in response to a call to 911 from the phone of one of the five missing persons reported prior to the Autobots usage of holoforms. The caller was in a panic as she reported being closed in by four vehicles on the highway not far off from Texas.

Initially this call was not brought to government attention due to the commonality of false alarms usually amounting to drivers in the area seeing things. However upon looking over the details the caller gave, one of our agents brought the call to our attention and it says a great deal about the Autobots... hunting methods.

Transcript begins.]

══════════════════

(Talking Clock: September 25, 2004, 22:24:03) EMERGENCY DISPATCHER 4: 911, where is your emergency? CALLER: I-I'm driving. There is someone following me, a gang maybe? I don't know, but they are following me and have been for the past half hour. EMERGENCY DISPATCHER 4: Where are you Sir? CALLER: I'm on the Texas 49 road. I came out this way to get away from my family and to have some peace and quiet, but now there are people following me and there is nowhere for me to go! EMERGENCY DISPATCHER 4: I understand Sir. It will take us a while to get anyone out to you, but stay on the line. Can you describe where you are and what is happening? CALLER: Yeah, I can do that. T-There are two vehicles on either side of my car. One looks to be some sort or sports model, a yellow and black striped car. A-And the other is some sort of jeep, really dark green I think, but I can't see all that well in the dark. They haven't done anything, but their windows are tinted and I can't see who is driving. I've already tried getting away from them, but whenever I speed up, so do they! EMERGENCY DISPATCHER 4: Calm down Sir. Can you pick out their license plates? CALLER: NO! I've tried but they don't HAVE license plates! They are unregistered and I can't see any sort of stickers or anything that could identify them! I've been looking, I swear I've been looking but they won't leave-! EMERGENCY DISPATCHER 4: Sir, you need to stay calm. Tell me your name and exactly what is happening while we get some officers out in your direction. Can you do that? CALLER: Y-Yeah I can do that... My name is [REDACTED] from [REDACTED]. These cars seem like they are trying to lead me somewhere, I can't quite figure it out. They won't let me leave, and every time I try to swerve and get away, they speed up with me and get me back in my own lane! I don't know what they want! EMERGENCY DISTPATCHER 4: It will be alright Sir. Stay calm and stay with me. Officers are on their way. Just keep driving straight and try not to look panicked. Don't let them lead you anywhere, alright? CALLER: A-Alright, I can do this. Stay calm [REDACTED] stay calm... EMERGENCY DISPATCHER 4: That's right. Good job Sir. You are doing great. Officers should be there within- CALLER: No no no! There's another! Another vehicle! I-It's a motorcycle! Blue and pink I think! I-It's making strange sounds and it doesn't have a rider! ITS DRIVING ON ITS OWN-! EMERGENCY DISPATCHER 4: SIR! Remain calm! I need to you to describe what is going on. Stay on the line, officers are on the way. CALLER: THEY DON'T HAVE DIVERS! NONE OF THEM! I-I saw it, the yellow and black sports car, it rolled down its window and there was no one inside! They are getting closer! They are boxing me in, I can almost feel them scratching the paint on my car-! EMERGENCY DISPATCHER 4: It will be alright Sir! Try to speed up! See if you can get ahead of them! Officers will be there in ten minutes! CALLER: I'm trying I'm trying but they keep coming closer and speeding up-! I-I don't know what they want but they are so close! EMERGENCY DISPATCHER 4: Calm down, please calm down- CALLER: T-There's another! A big red semi! They are all around me and are pushing me toward this thing, I can't tell what it is! Its big and green and glows like some portal to hell-![Deafening screeches] EMERGENCY DISPATCHER 4: SIR! CAN YOU HEAR ME?! CALLER: I CAN'T LET THEM TAKE ME! I WON'T LET THEM! I'M GOING TO SWERVE INTO THE WOODS! THEY CAN'T GET ME THERE! [Hysterical screaming] EMERGENCY DISPATCHER 4: SIR NO! CALLER: [Various horns and beeps] LEAVE ME ALONE-! [Tearing metal and cracking wood] EMERGENCY DISPATCHER 4: HOLD ON! SIR! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?! SIR! CALLER: I-I its hurts... the... the vehicles... they ... they are changing. EMERGENCY DISPATCHER 4: Sir you are likely delirious, please hold on. You need to leave your vehicle and escape the wreck so that officers can get to you- CALLER: They... they are humanoid? I'm not lying, the cars, they just changed I can't explain it... No no no NO NO DON'T NO NO I DON'T WANT TO DIE HERE!

EMERGENCY DISPATCHER 4: SIR! SIR!

CALLER: [Distant screams and electronic noises]

EMERGENCY DISPATCHER 4: WE NEED OFFICERS ASAP-!

(Call ends 22:30:07)

══════════════════

[Transcript ends.

Officers arrived at the scene ten minutes after the call ended and discovered [Redacted03]'s vehicle wrecked on the side of the road, half crushed against the trees. Investigation proved that [Redacted03] could have easily survived the crash itself due to the airbag functioning, however her disappearance was regarded as a mystery until our agents were sent out to review the situation.

Her vehicle had its door completely torn off and there were huge almost finger like indents in the sides. Officers originally speculated that it could have been the work of perhaps a local predator, but our agents were quick to note the tracks in the ground that were quite clearly Cybertronian based off shape alone. Officers who were at the scene were paid for their silence and we gained greater insight into just how the Autobots... acquired their holoforms.

[Redacted] was not lying... I worry for how much more we are going to discover bit by bit because of these aliens.

Agent Witwicky signing off.

Recording end.]

[fideidefenswhore]

Not all her contemporaries considered Joanna 'mad'. In 1505 a Venetian ambassador to Spain, Vincenzo Quirini, noted that Maximilian spent several weeks in the Netherlands 'mostly with the queen [Joanna], keeping her entertained almost constantly with fetes' and trying to reconcile her with her husband before they left for Spain. He 'has tried everything he can to make her happy, because he knows that all her problems have arisen because she is depressed.' In Quirini's opinion, Maximilian succeeded. Henry VII, who met Joanna a few weeks later when storms diverted her ship to England on her way to Spain, agreed: 'When I saw her,' he later told the Spanish ambassador, 'she seemed fine and she spoke in a restrained and gracious manner, never compromising her authority.' Moreover, 'although her husband [Philip] and those with him made her out to be mad, to me she seemed sane; and that is what I believe now.' Ferdinand too, apparently harboured some doubts. At their meeting one month after declaring Joanna incapable of governing, the king urged Philip to tolerate Joanna's behaviour 'just as he had tolerated the behaviour of Queen Isabella, her mother, who in her youth was driven by jealousy to far worse extremes than those of his daughter right now; and with his support she regained her senses and became the queen that everyone knew.'

Emperor: A New Life of Charles V, Geoffrey Parker