#main series: yeah they’re like siblings

[im-still-watching-anime]

playing aa trilogy: look how creepy and unsettling von karma is for taking in edgeworth, he was making nefarious plans from the start

playing aa investigations: he did it because he certainly wasn’t interested in parenting and knew franziska would need a babysitter

[amiableness]

Dad!James Potter x Bsf!Reader ☼ 1036 words | briefly 18+, and thank you to @moonpascal for your thoughts and ideas!

series masterlist ; main masterlist

You only agreed to go to the pub because James seemed keen, but in all honesty, you’d much rather be tangled up in his bedsheets with him. Slipping into a dress that hugged you perfectly and dabbing on a pretty red lip was a definite perk, though. 

This was one of your first outings with your friends now that James and you were officially together. Telling your friends had caused quite a scene. Marlene’s excitement was so loud you half-wondered if your hearing would ever be the same, while Lily, genuinely happy for you, seemed like she might tear up any second.

The pub is buzzing with chatter and clinking glasses as you settle into a cozy corner with your friends. James has his arm draped casually around your shoulders, his thumb absentmindedly tracing circles on your skin. 

You’re lost in thought, your mind drifting to Henry and wondering how he’s doing with the babysitter. You know he’s probably fine—he always lights up when Angela’s around—but it still feels strange not being the one there with him. Sure, it means you get a night out with James, but part of you can’t help missing those quiet nights with Henry, just the two of you.

You’re so lost in thought that you don’t even notice the man approaching the table. He claps Sirius and Remus, both of whom have their backs to him, on the shoulder with a bit too much enthusiasm. Remus flinches, startled, while Sirius practically leaps out of his seat.

“Boys!” he calls out, a cheery smile on his face, and you can tell he’s been drinking a tad too much. “Long time no see, mates.”

“Colin!” James lights up, his grin matching the man’s excitement. You barely recognize him—maybe you’ve seen him in old photos with James and the boys, but it’s clear they haven’t kept in touch much since school. “How’ve you been?”

Colin launches into a debrief about his life after school. And the boys listen and sprinkle in a few comments to show they’re listening. Marlene meets your eye and fakes a yawn, which makes you smile. You weren’t listening all that much, either.

“Wait!” You glance up at Colin’s sharp exclamation and realize he’s looking at you. “You’re Henry’s mum!”

Without thinking, you smile and nod. If you hadn’t had those two drinks, you might have hesitated and weighed your words more carefully. But in your heart, you already considered yourself Henry’s mum—James had even told you that Henry called you that when they were alone. The only thing missing was Henry saying it to your face. “Yeah,” you say softly, a warmth spreading in your chest. “I am.”

James nearly knocks over his drink, freezing mid-reach as your words sink in. His eyes widen in surprise, and the usual confident grin falters, leaving him completely flustered. Sirius and Remus exchange an amused glance, barely containing their smirks at how thoroughly you’ve caught him off guard.

He knew you hadn’t wanted to go out tonight. The way you’d flashed him that pouty lip when he mentioned the group plans and how you’d been invited—it had almost broken him. Now, as he sat here, he was wishing he’d caved and stayed in with you. 

But then, he wouldn’t have heard you call yourself Henry’s mum.

He hardly hears the conversation happening between you and Colin. Instead, he’s lost in thoughts of making you his wife and giving Henry a sibling—or maybe two or three. His mind flashes with images of you, stomach full and swollen. He likes the idea of everyone knowing how well he’d fucked you. So pretty and so full of him. His throat feels dry, and the last place he wants to be is in this pub. He wants to be home, burying himself inside of you as you beg him to make you a mum.

He stands up abruptly, the chair squeaking as it scrapes against the floor, propelled back with surprising force. All eyes turn toward him, curiosity etched on their faces as he reaches for your purse, which hangs off the back of your chair.

“I’ve forgotten that our babysitter has to go by midnight.” James rushes out. “We have to get home.” 

Colin doesn’t seem to notice James’ sudden urgency, but you do, your brow furrowing as you catch his impatient glance. She didn’t have to leave by midnight—James had told you both that the night would stretch longer. Still, when he stands and extends his hand to you, you take it without hesitation. Your goodbyes to Colin and the others are rushed, barely uttered, before James is already tugging you out of the pub, his grip firm as if he can’t wait another second to get you alone.

“Jamie, what is going on?” You ask as you step into the cool night air, the door slamming shut behind you and effectively cutting off the lively chatter of the pub.

“Fuck, do you know what hearing you call yourself Henry’s mum did to me?” He rasps out your name, and the tone of his voice sends a thrill through you—it’s unmistakably filled with desire. You reach his parked car, and he sharply flings open the door for you, the sudden movement catching you off guard. 

You stand there, fully aware that he’s waiting for you to get in, but you don’t move. Instead, you watch him closely, taking in every detail. His cheeks are flushed, and his breathing is uneven, revealing just how much your comment has affected him. The anticipation hangs between you, thick and electric, and you revel in the power you have over him in this moment.

“Baby, get in the car. Please,” He nearly begs, “I can’t wait any longer.”

“You don’t want me in the car?” You tease, the flirtation in your voice almost sending him over the edge. You can see the effect it has on him by the way he inhales sharply, his eyes fluttering shut as if he’s trying to regain control.

“I’m trying to be a gentleman, which means getting you home so I can take you in our bed,” He breathes out. “Get in the car.”

You don’t need any more convincing after that.

please please please consider reblogging and/or commenting. they keep me motivated to continue writing and reblogging spreads my work 🤍

[1moreff-creator]

What are some dynamics (in terms of like, foils/parallels) that you enjoy in DRDT?

you’re staring at a forest and asking me for every tree i like. do you want me to write another 28k word post /lh

I jest, of course, but not about the number of interesting foils in this series. It does a fantastic job tying everyone into several key themes in ways that make their dynamics endlessly enriching for my silly little character parallel-loving brain. So, uh, get ready for a long-ish post?

CW: One mention of self-harm, self-loathing

Teruko-David: I mean, you gotta start at the center, yeah? David’s the closest thing to a “main antag” we have, and it’s no wonder; the guy’s built like a standard DR protag, obviously he’s gonna have a cool dynamic with the actual protagonist. 

These two could breathe a bit weird and somehow parallel each other doing it, that’s how much this foil permeates both their characters. From their fatalistic outlooks on the world (“my luck will always be terrible, I’ll always be betrayed” vs “people can’t change, the world sucks”), the ways they hide their feelings (Teruko was more distrustful than she first presented herself as, but cares about people more than she shows during most of CH2; while David has an entire different persona up to 2-11 and then pretends to be worse than he actually is), the self-loathing (Teruko refuses to think she could be a good person, David has the whole “inhuman” thing going on), down to the oddball sibling figure (Terubro “I know nothing about you” Tawaki vs Diana “I’m not even sure you exist” Chiem).

There’s their feelings about Xander and Min, too, which are all over the place. Obviously we all saw in 2-12 how much the British twink fucked both of them up severely, with Teruko rejecting any positive or yearning feelings she may have had about Xander (you can’t hide the cactus scene from us girl) while David vehemently defended him from any criticism. On the other side, Min is less of a narrative poltergeist (for now; XF-Ture exists), but she still comes up with them, with David calling her pathetic eleven episodes after Min hugs Teruko and Teruko’s internal monologue gives away how much she cares about the Student. 

And these parallels play into their weird-ass dynamic very well, because their beefing is founded on their similarities and their differences, out of projecting their self-loathing to someone similar at the same time they hate each other because of their disagreements on things like Xander. Crazy stuff.

Xander-Min: Mentioning these two second because they’re also Eternal Parallels. There’s almost not a single thing about these two that isn’t somehow reflected on the other. If you projected them onto each other’s direction, you would get no perpendicular component. Get it, ‘cuz they’re completely parallel- That is, by far, the nerdiest joke I’ve ever made, I apologize.

But come on. Their attitudes towards fate (the Rebel fighting it and Min resigning herself to the XF-Ture thing), the whole “holding on to the past vs wanting to move on from the past” thing, the similarities between how they actually feel about the education system (they have issues with it) contrasted with the things they actually do in respects to that (Min is still the Ultimate Student, but Xander dislikes that), their already mentioned contrasting connections to Teruko and David… Just, absolutely everything about them is a meaningful contrast. And it comes into play a lot, with their eternal beef being born largely out of these parallels. They’re awesome.

Teruko-Ace: Pretty topical for post-CH2. Ace’s entire arc is sort of a reflection of Teruko’s, yet taken to the extreme because of one particular point of contrast; Ace feared death, Teruko doesn’t think she can die. But he still basically serves as a demonstration of all the flaws in Teruko’s all mindset; the feeling of unchangeable fate, the complete lack of trust, all the good stuff. It basically allows an exploration of Teruko’s mindset from an outside perspective, which makes it easier to see the flaws in it.

Ace-Nico: Also topical, these recap foils go kinda insane. Their motives for murder, their contrasting talents (love for animals on Nico's side and fear of horses on Ace's), the way they relate to the rest of the cast, Ace's persecution complex vs Nico actively disliking how much Hu defends them, etc., it’s all very fun to see play out. 

Ace-Levi: The one who doesn’t care but protects others and tries his best to be a good person so he can be accepted in society without having issues, vs the guy that acts like an asshole because he’s scared of caring too much and he thinks the only way he can get out alive is by being the only one to survive. This leads to a fundamental misunderstanding between them that causes some of the most doomed yaoi of all time, which is the whole “Levi getting frustrated at not understanding Ace.” 

Arei-David: You’ve presumably watched 2-13, so I don’t think I need to explain all the awesome stuff that’s come from their shared themes of “good people” and self-betterment and all that. Not to mention, David’s little breakdown over Arei trusting the letter of the only friend she had being presumably born from the way he saw Xander as the only friend he had. Shit goes crazy.

Arei-Eden: Recap foils… Good people… The choice to be kind… Etc… Woah :O

Teruko-Charles: Ah, Teru’s recap foil. This one’s basically opposite of Ace’s, where Charles used to be sort of like Teruko acted in CH2, but later became a bit friendlier, if still somewhat prickly. Basically, if Ace highlights Teruko’s character traits from CH2, Charles post CH1 serves as more or less the “end goal” in a way. It goes beyond that, too, with the whole memory issues (prosopagnosia vs childhood amnesia) and, again, mysterious siblings (Terubro and Elliot what are your deals), so it’s always neat to rotate these two in the brain.

Veronika-Levi: We really don’t know too much about Vero, which always makes it a bit harder when analyzing these dynamics, but they already got some interesting points of contrast. Neither of them are particularly concerned about the deaths of the others, at least post-CH2 (Levi doesn’t grieve and Vero actively laughs at Ace’s death), but it comes from almost opposite ends of perspective. Levi doesn’t understand others because he doesn’t feel much empathy (if any at all), while Vero seems to treat the others not as people, but almost as characters to be analyzed (that’s the impression I get, at least), which makes her come off as very good at reading people but also occasionally causes her to see them as sources of entertainment first and foremost. Not to mention there’s also the fact they’re both very different people than they were in the past (Levi was some form of delinquent and now is a good person, Vero used to be outdoorsy and then no longer was). Wow that’s… more than I thought there was- How am I finding more interesting foils just by writing more???

Hu-Levi: I kinda talked about this in my CH2 PT2 analysis so read that ig.

J-Rose: A pair of recap foils who haven’t had too much yet, but a lot of their themes, in particular about fate and privilege and stuff, are pretty noticeable with them, so this is always a fun dynamic to consider.

Levi-Arturo: More recap foils, this one’s fun because of the dead family member :) Also things like their talents being related to aesthetics and both doing the things they do for a better life.

Veronika-Hu: This one’s kinda more hypothetical, since Vero in particular hasn’t had as much direct focus as other characters yet, but that’s part of what makes them fun. Past history of self-harm (even if brought on by very different feelings) is just the first of many parallels they could have, and it’s fun to see the contrast between Hu defending Nico to the ends of the Earth and Vero talking about how much she likes Arturo because of how awful he is. They’re really silly.

David-Whit: All the recap foils are fun, but I've always struggled to see this one in particular. Partly because I feel like I know less about Whit than I know about Mai :v Still, certain things like Whit ignoring anything that upsets him which connects to David constantly lying about his real feelings for his fans, which is probably what leads to David's outburst at Whit in the second trial.

Teruko-MonoTV: Because fate. Really this is here plainly because it’s just a funny as hell dynamic to even consider lol.

Teruko-Mai: Have they interacted? Has Mai had enough screen time to truly determine that this parallel truly exists? Do we even know a single theme that Mai’s character touches on for certain? No and it doesn’t matter! Because these two are clearly connected somehow and the whole “someone dearly loved - someone dearly unloved” thing makes me ill. Mai is getting mentioned in this post and you're not stopping it.

Mai-Whit: Fuck it! “We tend to idolize the dead” dynamic!!! It's very speculative, but this one’s just fun to ponder even if we have even less idea of what could be going on between the two than with Mai-Teruko.

Anyways ready for a few themes that run through a lot of characters?

David-Levi-Nico-Rose: The “feeling disconnected from the rest of humanity’s experiences” gang!!!

Min-Rose-Hu-Veronika-Arturo: The “wants to move on from the past” gang!!!

Min-Arei-Teruko-Ace: The “trying to fix mistakes” gang!!!

Teruko-David-Eden-Arei-Levi-Xander: The “what makes a good person?” gang!!!

Teruko-David-Xander-Min-J-Whit-Ace-Rose-MonoTV-Probably everyone else: Fate!!!!

And there’s more than I’m probably forgetting because I can’t possibly check every conceivable connection between these guys. At least I hope I covered most of the major ones. Thanks for the ask, these dynamics are always fun to think about!

[socra-time]

Naruto Episode Comments, Ep. 41-50

Ep 41:

-puppetry has gotta be one of my favorite ninja techniques so far ngl

-also Kankuro gives me bitchy theater kid vibes ngl. We stan

-again, Sakura has a far more compelling relationship with Ino than she does with fuckass Sasuke

-…goddamnit do I ship Sakura and Ino

-the way Gai says Kakashi’s name is so funny to me, he’s like “kaKAshi”

Ep 42:

-I think it’s funny that Lee just drifted over to hang out with Kakashi and Naruto

-ngl Ino losing her hold on Sakura was COMPLETE bullshit, Ino absolutely should have won that match

-ngl I’m really annoyed by the results of this match

-but anyways Gai and Lee cheering for Tenten was wholesome. Team Gai supremacy

Ep 43:

-okay Temari’s voice isn’t as bad as I initially thought it was

-rip Tenten, I get that they have to set up the threat of the Sand Siblings but Tenten deserved a little more of a fair fight rather than just being fodder for Temari to take down

-but also holy shit Temari’s takedown was fucking brutal

-Lee I fucking love you

-I also kinda love Ino now

-Naruto istg you better not beat up Kiba’s dog

Ep 44:

-not the first time I’ve noticed them but I like Kiba’s fangs

-I don’t really like Kiba’s voice

-if I was Naruto I would have forfeited the match immediately, I’m not gonna fucking fight a puppy

-ah yes the greatest jutsu of all, Furry jutsu

-Naruto kinda wasted his shot by biting Kiba while disguised as Akamaru, he should have tried to do more damage and punch Kiba in the face or something

-I love how everyone was commenting on how Naruto’s jutsu usage was more impressive than they thought and meanwhile Neji’s just like “I can’t believe he bit his opponent”

-why isn’t everyone just taking food pills during this exam if they’re so useful

-Kiba honey I hate to break it to you but you are not, in fact, the main character of Naruto

-respectfully both Naruto and Kiba should never be Hokage, it should OBVIOUSLY be Lee

Ep 45:

-NOOOO AKAMARU BBY

-I’m not gonna lie I don’t really believe Naruto has the chakra control and intelligence at this point in the series to pull off the trick he does with the double transformation jutsu

-I find it both amusing and annoying that Kiba (and also Shikamaru and Choji) calls Naruto “kid”. Like y’all are the same age lmao

- yeah no same as Ino, Kiba kindaaaa should have won. I’m more okay with this outcome than the Ino-Sakura result because Naruto’s the MC so he’s obviously going to win, but that fart was utter bullshit

-also I get that Kiba probably would have wrecked the clones with his human drill shit but why didn’t Naruto just try spamming shadow clones from the beginning

Ep 46:

-Team 8’s dynamic intrigues me. I want to see more of them

-why was ANYONE surprised that Hinata and Neji are related. Like were their eyes not a dead fucking giveaway???

-Kurenai is so mother

-anyways fuck Hinata’s dad

-between this match and the Sakura-Ino match, why did no one tell Naruto to not interrupt the matches

-okay so this confirms that Team 8 is the Konoha team that I would LEAST want to fight, purely because my options are (a) getting my chakra devoured by a swarm of bugs, (b) getting mauled by the human equivalent of Drill Run, or (c) suffering organ failure. Yeah no I’d rather get punched or stabbed by the other teams, thank you very much

Ep 47:

-with his level of precision and the Byakugan, Neji should quit the whole ninja thing and go be a doctor

-oh Naruto you sweet oblivious child

-I am absolutely not sold on Naruto and Hinata as a ship yet btw

-ngl if I was the proctor I would have yelled at Naruto to shut up and stop interrupting the matches

-Lee and Gai continue to be the best duo in this entire fucking show

Ep 48:

-I’ve heard that Gaara vs Lee is amazing, so I’m going in with high expectations

-Gaara is so fucking small next to his siblings

-Lee is so goddamn cute. I love my son

-you know you’re terrifying when SHINO is afraid of you

-Lee is so happy that he gets to go apeshit lmao

-the moment when the leg weights drop was amazing

-also it’s the first time we see Gaara look surprised and off-guard, which really hammers home just how insane Lee is

-I’ve seen it before but the effect of Gaara’s face cracking is so cool

-also it’s funny that Kankuro has fully just joined the Konoha peanut gallery for this match

Ep 49:

-welp Gaara’s gone completely off the rails

-Lee is officially my favorite character rn and it’s not even close

-if Lee can only do taijutsu, how did he pass the academy test and become a genin? I mean maybe it was a Naruto type of situation where other shit happened, but he wouldn’t have been able to pass the test normally, right?

-Leeeeee my silly badass son I love you so much. Peak character of all time

-again, the way Gai says “kaKAshi” cracks me up

-so like is Gai not gonna get in trouble with the ninja government for teaching Lee forbidden jutsus? Like Lee is very blatantly using the Primary Lotus and Hidden Lotus in a government-run exam and it’s pretty obvious who would have taught him those

Ep 50:

-holy shit Lee is fully just going Super Saiyan

-even Neji is shook by Lee lmao

-NOOOO LEE

-Gai stepping in and the background music and noises cutting out was such a good moment

-Gai is legit Lee’s dad and I’m so here for it

-Lee has Naruto solidly beaten for the title of “most tenacious motherfucker in the show”

-that moment with Gai hugging Lee’s unconscious body was so good, my heartttttt 😭

-the medic telling Gai that Lee will never fight again would be much more heartbreaking if I didn’t know that he’s literally fine later on

-the strings instrumental that plays after Lee’s defeat is so good

[xamiipholia]

okay y'all seemed to like the last one so here's a few more Horizon 3 thoughts:

Aloy won’t die. It would completely upend the series’ themes and just be really nihilistic.

Since Nemesis is a gestalt entity I think it’s a safe bet that we’ll see Sam Witwer, Carrie-Anne Moss, etc again. I’m curious how they’re going to do it because at least structurally, it’s basically a reaper. Maybe it’ll use different Avatars when communicating like the Leviathan in ME3. 

It's gonna take some work to make a flashback/dream/vision not contrived but I would love to see Varl and Rost again. I think we deserve that.

Minerva is gonna have its work cut out for it blocking access to both the dormant Faro Swarm and the ZD terraforming system. 

I wouldn’t be surprised if Nemesis has some sort of corruption function that becomes the equivalent of the corruption in HZD. It would be a really fun tech showcase if GG uses Zenith nanotech for machine corruption and leans into mechanical body horror.

If we’re going to Ban-Ur I really really hope they do the work to make the Banuk less problematic and more fleshed out as a culture. A quasi-Spartan society absolutely would not survive in an extreme environment, *especially* without megafauna to hunt. The Banuk characters are lovely and well-written; they deserve a society as well thought out as the Utaru or Carja. I’m honestly fine if there’s retcons or revamps to the cultural lore because the whole “outsider barges in and becomes chief” is rooted in racist, colonial tropes and we just don’t really need that imo.

The most recent footage of Death Stranding 2 (also running on Decima) has me SO excited for the visuals. GG’s gonna knock it out. The facial rendering and animation that Kojima Productions are doing looks industry-peak and I’m sure GG’s gonna match that. Aloy’s Gay Panic™️ scene on the beach in HBS is already top-tier nonverbal storytelling through animation. Digital Foundry actually just posted a really cool tech breakdown of the current Decima engine. I’m especially excited about the environmental stuff. The ocean simulations in HFW are already incredible and I hope they increase verticality in the world. I can’t wait to see the Sacred Lands in current gen graphics. 

I really love Kotallo’s DIY arm and it’s so so important to his development but Beta and Gaia now have access to Zenith nanotech, maybe give your buddy a sick upgrade hmm?

Speaking of, I can’t wait to see Beta come into her own. She’s one of the best parts of HFW and Aloy’s character absolutely shines in a sibling dynamic. 

I wouldn’t get your hopes up for a romance mechanic. Everyone’s feelings on that aside, it would be really odd from a game development perspective to just overhaul part of how the narrative develops Aloy’s character in the last act of the story. Yeah, there are flashpoints but I would argue that the presence of choice in Horizon is smoke and mirrors- cosmetic at best. Kentucky Route Zero (which you should play) does something similar where the player is given a certain amount of control over the substance of individual conversations and scenarios and it does absolutely nothing to alter the plot, by design. I think it’s the same here - this isn’t really a choice-based RPG, the flashpoints don’t really affect anything plot-wise or for Aloy’s character development. Olin is still out of the story, Nil lives, Regalla still dies one way or another. Aloy’s character development is pretty firmly on rails (think Jin Sakai, not Shepard - you get to guide some momentary character reactions but that’s it). I don’t think HBS is a testing ground either - If they were gonna introduce a romance mechanic I think they’d just do it, and not spend two years making a direct continuation of HFW’s main quest and establishing a specific romance hard-baked into the plot, complete with multiple leitmotifs for the character relationship (which is something they haven’t done before afaik) just to introduce a side quest mechanic coming in 5 years. I genuinely can’t think of any game or dev that has beta tested a major alteration to upcoming game mechanics that way - it doesn’t really make any sense in terms of developer resources, and these games are extremely time-consuming to make. I know this is a thing a bunch of people want and I can totally empathize with that! I just think it’s probably not on the table. 

I would bet money the series will bookend itself and the epilogue will involve a) the naming of Zo and Varl’s kid and b) Lis’ pendant. 

Mostly I'm just looking forward to being surprised. One of my favorite things that Horizon does is use carefully established elements in the world to pull the plot in unexpected directions and keeping the world grounded while they lean into speculative science fiction. I can't wait to see what Guerrilla is cooking up

[amongaesthetics]

So, spooky season means spooky show rewatching, and thoughts about said spooky shows.

I need someone to agree with me that The Vampire Diaries took their archetypes from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Like, nobody can convince me that Stefan is not supposed to be Angel (when normal he’s the height of morality, but secretly has a darker side that gets out of control and dangerous). And that Damon is not supposed to be Spike (wild, does what he wants when he wants, but falls in love deep and hard because behind the murder and mayhem, he’s a romantic at his core).

I also love that someone looked at Angel and Spike and said “ah, torture and falling in love with the same girl, that’s sibling behavior” which I am HERE for.

Other thoughts on TVD:

- all the past doppelgängers of Elena and Stefan are doomed to fall in love and then die miserably, so really we should be thanking Damon for being a meddling girlfriend stealer since without him everybody else would literally die in season 2/3 (he was the problem in season 1)

- Stefan loved Elena, but I think he was more happy that Damon would fight him for her than he was upset about it. The whole series Stefan loved Damon, and for a good while he wanted to find humanity in Damon and ground him in that. Damon loving Elena proved that humanity to Stefan, which is why Stefan only really got upset when he lost Elena.

- Spike is still better than Damon, but I find Stefan a more fully fleshed out character than Angel (at least in the Buffy series) since in Buffy Angel was literally “I’m tortured and love you and have your back but I’m a vampire and I hate that and I used to be suu-ccchh a bad person but don’t look at other guys” and it felt like he was almost too tall dark and mysterious most of the time. Stefan at least we follow and hear the monologue and thoughts and hopes of.

- ALSO Angel/Stefan are the reason Spike/Damon even are vampires? And Angel/Stefan want their soul/humanity back because of how bad they are as a vampire and miss being human or good, but Spike/Damon get their soul/humanity back because they’re in love with a girl and want to be that for her (which, yeah, motivated by love, checks out).

- Spike/Damon start off as a spunky villain that make legit threats but bond with the main girl the most when trying to stop Angel/Stefan. Like, I can’t make this up and there’s so much overlap.

[gwenllian-in-the-abbey]

I don’t know if I’m reaching here or not but when people say “Oh team black won because they’re bloodline continued” I can’t help but think of the fact that because of all the incest technically the greens blood did continue because Rhaenyra and the green siblings came from the same father and the king after Aegon was his nephew/cousin?? Like yeah they didn’t directly descend from them but this family is all about keeping it in the family so…

I think the discourse over who truly won the Dance is kind of silly, and the bloodlines argument is the silliest part of all.

No one "won" the Dance. Sure Rhaenyra and Daemon's bloodline continued but that's a pyrrhic victory at best. Aegon III spent the rest of his childhood isolated and miserable, his wishes disregarded by a power-hungry regency, and as king he was known forever as "Dragonsbane," because dragons-- which he hated-- died out during his reign. He did his best as king, but he was a deeply troubled man. Viserys II was raised in exile, married to a much older woman as a twelve year old, became a father at thirteen, and his children were absolute disasters, throwing the realm into decades of war. Neither of them make any attempt to rehabilitate Rhaenyra's legacy and she does not go down in history as Rhaenyra I, something they could have done for her posthumously, but didn't. If you asked Aegon III whether it was all worth it or not, I think there's a good chance he would rather have had his family alive and whole with his mother having accepted terms granting her Dragonstone, than this "victory" that put him on a throne he never asked for in the first place.

As for the long term, by the time the main series rolls around the Targaryens have been deposed and there's almost zero chance of a dynastic restoration. Daenerys is the last confirmed trueborn Targaryen alive, and while she has hatched her three dragons, it was only necessary to bring the dragons back because the Dance killed off all the dragons in the first place. The Targaryens doomed themselves trying to bring about a "prince that was promised," a prince that would not have been needed if they hadn't doomed themselves in the first place. That's the irony, the self-fulfilling prophesy of it all.

Overall, I think "who won" discourse really misses the point of the Dance. Wars of succession are ultimately terrible for the realm. My opinion about which side was "justified" is ultimately based which side I believe could have backed down with fewer long and short term repercussions, but regardless, a war over who sits the throne is unnecessary, and this one in particular was a disaster for both sides.

[bittasol]

The thinf you said about the mafia au and dynamics being unlocked is so true, another thing that I really liked about this chapter is the Opera/Ameri rivalry dynamic they have going and I find it really fun!! It's so different from what we're used to seeing from them (actually I don't remember if they've actually interacted that much in the original) (but them being rivals and fighting each other is so fun!!!! I love it)

YEAH even down to its bones the way characters are being presented is very different from the main series! Azz azz’s loyalty to Iruma taking multiple chapters, the age and manner in which Iruma meets Sullivan, Opera and Irumas dynamic being more sibling/partnerish than canon etc BUT it all feels true to the characters i think! Iruma still loves his family and is willing to do anything (even the impossible) to help them, love trio is still together with secrets between them, Kalego and Opera still have their beef)

THE OPERA AND AMERI DYNAMIC is sooo tasty omg…both are so protective (and a tad possessive) of Iruma! Plus they’ve both grown with him and protected him in the different eras of his childhood! It’ll be fun to see them squabble in the future. I’ve always compared their designs as two red/orangey demons with fuzzy ears, both strong and both people who are close to Iruma, so its extra fun to see them as rivals.

Mm yeah they’re sorta an underrated dynamic! Iruma kun has soo many characters to juggle, its easy to forget who and when characters meet. Thank you for the excuse to gather up their major interactions^^

Chapter 70: Walter Park

She’s in Opera’s group during the Walter park arc! They have fun playing dress up along with the misfit girls.

Chapter 81: Invincible Maiden

Ameri fights a mouse beast during the terrorist attack; Opera observes and compliments her bloodline ability.

When Ameri is discouraged, Opera encourages her, assures her shes quite strong with room to grow and even invites her to be a sort of assistant under them within the Sullivan household. I think this is an extremely high compliment! Opera’s a demon who’s been shown to be very protective of both Sullivan and Iruma, and who finds value and purpose in being able to serve them, so wanting Ameri to work with them shows a lot of respect and admiration toward her ability and person

(She turns down this request but then realizes this would mean she’d be around Iruma so she backtracks its very cute)

Chapter 143: Heartful Cooking Lesson

Opera teaches Iruma and Ameri how to cook after noticing they’re both terrible at it.

Chapter 167: The Sound of Anticipation

This one is small but I think its funny how they both set up to record the Misfits’s performance cuz they both love and support Iruma 110%! And Opera shuffling Ameri’s equipment over implies she’s got the best angle in the house, you could read this as a power move from them jeje.

Chapter 277: Opera-Sensei

When Opera becomes a teacher, they go around the school and greet everyone including Ameri. Ameri’s super excited, and because she values Opera’s strength, asks them to train the student council given they have time for it. I think this is such a sweet example of Ameri’s character; She’s strong, ambitious enough to ask for extra (hard) training, thoughtful enough to value their time and ask in a way thats not demanding. I think it also speaks of her respect toward Opera, who could theoretically be a poor teacher considering they’re new, that she trusts in them so much!

I’m sure theres more tiny bits of them but it’s been a while since I’ve properly read or watched iruma kun.

My thought process is a little scattered but I did wanna mention that I think these two would meet and be good buddies even without Iruma kun’s presence in their lives! Sullivan being the head of Babyls, and Ameri being a top student as well as a child of a 13 crown, I dunno I feel like they would have ended up training together at some point anyway. Probably not with Opera as an offical Babyls teacher, considering they only become one to keep an eye on Iruma, but in some universe where Iruma isnt in the picture and Ameri reaches for the Demon King’s seat yk? a private lesson or two!

Cannot say the same for Mafia AU tho… Iruma’s the reason those two are doing what they’re doing, and I think it’ll be up to him to get them to get along lol.

[newtonsheffield]

As tumblrs resident Anthony person, can you explain why folks relate Anthony to Eloise?

Is it because they are super stubborn people?

Am I…? Tumblr’s…? Resident…? Anthony…? Person? Is that me? Is that the reputation I have?

I’m happy to give my opinion on this for whatever that might be worth (Possibly very little)

I have spoken at length that the siblings that Anthony probably has the closest relationship with are Benedict and Daphne. And IO think it’s because Benedict is the closest to him in age and likely never truly looked to him as a father figure and Daphne I think it’s because as the eldest son and eldest daughter they’re both fulfilling importantly roles in their family. Anthony is providing for the family and Daphne needs to marry well to set the precedent for the rest of the girls and also as the first sibling to get married she’s cementing the social sphere for the rest of them in a way.

But the Bridgerton Siblings in general fall into two main groups (and so do their spouses but we’ll leave that for now). There’s the logisticians and the dreamers.

The Logisticians are- Anthony, Eloise, Francesca and Hyacinth

And the Dreamers are- Benedict, Colin, Daphne and Gregory (Gregory is the biggest dreamer of them all which is hilarious because Lucy is the most extreme logistician in the series. Literally polar opposites. She has no idea what to do with him)

Anthony and Eloise I think, both have a quite blunt, no nonsense attitude. Even though in the book Eloise ran away to meet Phillip without telling anyone she still did it for a really practical reason. She felt lonely and her best friend who she thought she’d be a spinster beside got married and Phillip had already suggested through his letters that they should meet and see if they would be suited for marriage. The path was laid out for her. And She went for it.

Anthony feels he should marry Edwina because she’s the diamond. So she must be the best woman™️. She is polite and not stupid and pretty so he decides to pursue her. Then he married Kate because he couldn’t bloody well leave her alone and he had to. So he just got on with it. And he had a conversation with the girl he was about to marry who already felt like a burden about how she shouldn’t expect him to fall in love with her.

That’s how blunt and forthright these two are. That’s what I think it is.

I think as well that Eloise was only… eight? When Edmund died? She was probably one of the first of the siblings to need Anthony so there’s that relationship as well. Really though, Anthony dotes on all his siblings. He can’t even really bring himself to be firm with Gregory when he’s telling him he needs to be productive. He’s more just like

“hey. You upset my wife by not turning up for dinner and now I’m being forced to have this conversation with you. Very not cool!”

So ah… yeah. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

[koichi-nomura]

You mentioned absolutely adoring "Ask Her A Question" from My Fair Hatey for a lot of reasons. Was that partially exaggeration, or do you actually have an analysis to dish out?

Much love!

Yeah definitely some exaggeration lol and it’s basically just the sound of it, I adore all the songs on there but judging purely by how they sound, (not the narrative purpose) of all of them that one’ my favorite.

Voice acting is incredibly important to me, across all my favorite shows that’s the first thing I think about, I’m obsessed with line delivery and with identifying voices (I pride myself in being the best out of my siblings at identifying who’s voice it is first lol), so the main thing for me really is that Wander has my favorite voice in the series, his singing is so nice and it’s interesting how (for this song at least) he doesn’t do it with a lot of volume or anything, it’s relatively calm for him. He’s half-singing half-talking too and his line delivery is amazing. You can hear the giddiness in his voice at some parts, he does it so well lol. And his accent and the inflections he puts on certain words I love it. Namely his “ab-out:”

I can’t explain why I’m so interested in voices (probably just autism again) but along with comedy, art, and animation it’s one of my favorite things.

I’ don’t know a ton about music other than “this sounds good to me, this doesn’t” but I’m still very opinionated on it, my enjoyment of music tends to be more based on unique singing voices and variability in the music. Some cartoons have very lazy, uninteresting soundtracks and Wander is definitely not one of them, even if you’re talking about just the normal soundtracks, not the songs. it’s great how each if the main characters have their own background themes and even some sung theme songs lol. I can’t tell you what I like about specifically the music of “Ask Her a Question” I just know that I really like it.

In a narrative sense it’s obviously fun seeing Wander’s philosophy on romance and watching Hater go along with it lol. For the story overall I think it’s meant to be pretty significant that Hater would be interested in someone else enough to ask about their opinions, we saw how terrible he was on “The Date”.

The animation is visually interesting as usually with a lot of great stretching from Wander.

This is also my favorite kind of musical; “everyone knows they’re signing” instead of “nobody’s actually singing, they’re just conveying the emotions and storytelling through song for the audience’s eyes only.”

Woy in general is just exemplifies all the ways I would love to do things if I could create a cartoon;

The music is spectacular, so is the voice acting, the voice actors can sing instead of needing stand-in singers, the character designs are so recognizable, I love everyone’s names (‘Major Threat’ is such stupid and funny wordplay lol), the characterization is so good and interesting for everyone (infinitely kind characters are my favorite tho) the comedy is great and I like a lot of the gags but what’s especially great is the character-driven comedy; jokes that are funny just because the characters have funny personalities and interactions. The animation is spectacular too, I’m usually not at all a fan of flash animation but they utilize it in such a way that I didn’t used to know it was flash, the squash and stretch they do with the characters is so fun and interesting without looking grotesque or unappealing, they just look silly (there’s so many moments where it’s too fast to really get a grasp on what’s happening and if you look at it frame by frame it’s super impressive).

Sorry for rambling, this is what happens when I get questions and no character limit, much love back!! :]

[thatgoblin]

~::~ Summary: After a drunken night with a man name John, Reader finds herself in a position they had never thought they would be in. ~::~ Fem!Reader, 1st POV.

[WARNINGS: Brief pelvic exam, swearing, grief, sibling death, family issues, vague speak of abortion, cursing, unplanned pregnancy, vague-ish descriptions of drunk sex]

::AN-This is just part one of the series, I'll go through the whole pregnancy and maybe after. Enjoy!::

Tequila was always responsible for my mistakes. I should have kept my promise of never having more than one shot, but that quickly went out the window when I bumped into him. He was tall and handsome and smelled of scotch and tobacco. I was pretty sure I complimented his mutton chops and that’s how it started. A few beers and more than a couple of shots later, I was pressed against his door as we kissed like drunk college students during Rush Week. Eventually we made it into his house with giggles and drunk stumbling, at least getting to his bed before the main event. 

I was going to have beard burn by the end, but that wasn’t important. What was important was that I was half undressed as the man ate me out like he’d been starving for it. While I don’t remember every single detail, the broad strokes of the night were there, I knew I had had a good time at least. It probably wasn’t the olympic level of sex I thought it was at the time, it was still pretty good. The next morning, he made me coffee, told me his name was John and if I ever wanted to have another fun night again to give him a call.

“So, why haven’t you called him?” My friend Jesse asked as we sat at a table in a cafe, once I'd finished telling him about John. I had called him and asked for some adult talk because holy shit did I need it. 

“Because I honestly forgot, but now I really do need to call him buuuut I lost his number,” I said. 

“Oh no, did you get the clap?” He asked, shirking away.

“Worse,” I groaned, leaning back in my seat. 

“Ew, herpes?” He asked, scrunching his face up.

“Even worse,” I said, putting a hand to my belly. “A lot more noticeable than herpes in the next few months.” 

“Oh. . . Oh shit,” he said, raising his brows. “I mean, are you sure it’s his?”

“I’ve only slept with one person in the last four months thanks to my ex, so yeah, I’m sure it’s John’s,” I grumbled. I knew that would be everyone's question, probably even John's, but it still didn't feel great to hear.

“Sorry, just checking,” he said, holding up his hands. “So what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. It’s. . . It’s still early and it’s not like he HAS to know as I’m not sure I want to keep it,” I said, poking my sponge cake with a fork. “I don’t even want kids. I never planned on it, not even with Paul and he was my longest relationship.”

“Oh Paul,” Jesse said wistfully. “It’s all his fault that this happened. If he hadn’t cheated on you so many times, then you wouldn’t have been looking for a rebound.”

“Well the tequila didn’t help either,” I snorted. “Doesn’t make a difference. I’ve still got to make a decision and it’s getting close to the deadline for the permanent one.”

“Have you gone to a doctor yet?” Jesse asked.

“Yeah, right after I took the pee test at home. I wanted to make sure so I didn’t panic over nothing,” I said. “They said I’m about 7 weeks along. I didn’t want to do any tests other than the blood lab, and since I could give them the date of my last encounter, they were able to figure it out from there.”

“Man, that’s wild. Have you told anyone else? Your family?”

“Absolutely the fuck not,” I choked out as I sat up. “They will never know if I can help it. No matter the outcome, they are not in my life for a reason.”

“Because they’re fucking psychotic?”

“Because they’re fucking psychotic. Damn right,” I huffed. It had been so long since I’d had any contact with my family. My parents were still back in Inverness for all I knew and my older brother was somewhere with the military. Last I had heard was that he’d made it to Sergeant in SAS and that was because I had run into an old friend from school. It had felt so sad to find out through gossip essentially. Someone I had been so close to growing up was now a complete stranger.

“So, if you keep it, can I be the Daddy?” Jesse asked with a grin.

“Jesse, you can barely keep your rabbit alive, I’m not letting you parent my fake plants let alone anything that comes out of me,” I groaned, shifting to sit up.

“Hey, Sassafras is doing amazing and he’s even getting a brother soon. Don’t be bad mouthing my babies,” Jesse pouted. 

“Sorry, sorry,” I said, rubbing my face. “I shouldn’t be taking the stress out on you. That’s not fair and I’m sorry.”

“Those hormones are messing you up, BAD,” he said. 

“Yeah, they are. I don’t get sick at least, but the mood swings are giving even ME whiplash." I was silent for a moment, contemplating the possibility of telling John. The good, the bad, and the more than likely to happen heart break if I made an attempt to have something outside of our one night stand. 

Paul had done a number on me. We’d been together since secondary school on and off, but the last four years we had become so close and in tune with each other. We could tell when the other needed something without saying anything and were genuinely happy where we were. I had been at least. It turns out he’d been fucking some hen from his work the entire time and had gotten her pregnant. When that happened, a switch had flipped and I didn’t know the man anymore. He moved out when I had gone to work one day, leaving me in a lurch with rent and a place that I had so many happy memories with him in. 

"Maybe it’s better if I just don’t tell him,” I said softly, shaking my head. “I mean, we could be really bad together. All I know is that he’s in the military and is never around. If I wanna raise anything, I want my partner to be there with me and I already hate being alone. I’d probably lose my mind if it was just me and it on our own. Besides, he probably doesn’t want something like this. Otherwise he’d have it by now.” The man was good looking, funny, and with a military career, he could have married someone and had kids with them by now. 

“True, but what if you guys work really well together?” 

I went quiet, trying not to let a fantasy of me and John form. Paul proved that it doesn’t matter how long you were with someone or how close you got, they will still break your heart when you least expect it and act like it was nothing. 

“Don’t let him ruin your future, Boo,” Jesse said, reaching over to take my hand. “He’s taken enough from you. There’s no reason to let him have more.”

“I know,” I said softly, squeezing his hand. “I just wish I knew what to do. If someone could tell me for sure if me and John would work out or not, that would be amazing.”

“Well, I’m sorry that I left my crystal ball at home,” he said, letting go. “But maybe give it a try. At least you can say you gave it a go.”

“Yeah, but I have to find the guy first and I don’t remember his number or where he lives,” I said. 

“Well, how about putting that detective brain of yours to work? You watch all those crime dramas, why not use it in real life?” He asked.

“Because this is real life and not DCI Banks,” I said, giving him a pointed look.

“Just retrace your steps. Do you remember the bar you met him at? Maybe he’s a regular,” Jesse said, rolling his eyes. 

“True. That’s actually a really good idea,” I said, tapping my chin in thought. “I mostly remember what he looks like too. Well more than mostly, I could probably pick him out in a lineup. He was really good looking.”

“Oh yeah, that’s definitely going to help you find him. Just ask the bartender for the really good looking guy,” Jesse snickered.

“Shush. Well, it seems that the, uh, Shit, what do I call it?” I asked. 

“Are you asking me what to call the fetus inside you?” Jesse asked, raising his brows. 

“Yeah.”

“Just call it Bug. You know? Or even Bean. It’s like, what, the size of a grape?”

“Little smaller. I think the internet said it was the size of a blueberry.”

“That would be cute, but it also sounds like a safeword,” Jesse snickered.

“English people do really like beans,” I said. “Let’s go with Bean.”

“You’re English too!” Jesse cackled.

“No I’m not! I’m Scottish! There’s a difference!” I cried, throwing a napkin at his face that he easily caught. “Fucking American with your Mountain Man accent telling me I’m English. My Last name is MacTavish, that’s not fucking English.”

“I’m Appalachin, Darlin’. I’m not just any Mountain Man,” Jesse grinned. 

“I’ll be sending you back by punting you over the ocean if you don’t knock it the fuck off,” I hissed. 

“The mood swings are going to be killer with you,” Jesse snickered.

“Don’t,” I sighed. “Just don’t. But it seems I'm keeping the Bean after all."

“Good luck. I mean it. Being a single parent ain’t easy, but you’re not on your own with this. Even without John, okay?” He said, reaching over to squeeze my hand again. 

A few days after my lunch with Jesse, I was at the bar that I had originally found John at. It was packed for a Thursday night and the thick smell of alcohol was making me nauseous. Getting to the bar, I flagged down the bartender in hopes they would know him.

“What can I get ya, Love?” He asked, leaning in so he could hear me. 

“I’m actually looking for someone,” I said, climbing up to kneel in the seat so I could lean over the bar. “I don’t know if he’s a regular or not, but I figured I’d try.”

“Sure, what’s his name?”

“John. I don’t have a last name, but he’s tall and built, has dark sandy hair with a mutton chops beard. I think he’s in the military,” I said.

“Oh yeah! John Price! He and his men are regulars,” the bartender nodded. “Just saw him a few days ago actually. What do you want him for?”

“Well, I’ve got something for him that he left when I last saw him and I only got his first name and haven’t been able to find him,” I said. “You wouldn’t happen to know where I could find him other than here, could you?”

“Sorry, I only know him from here. Maybe if you come back tomorrow he might be here. He usually shows up a bit earlier than this,” the man said with a shrug. I nodded and thanked him, giving him a few quid for the help. I decided that I could hang around and see if he still shows up that night while I dug around to see what I could find on social media. 

Getting a Shirly Temple, I grabbed a corner seat and spent about an hour trying to find him online, but the man was a ghost. Nothing. No Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, not even a LinkedIn. What was I supposed to do? Give my number to the bartender and hope he remembered to give it to John? That is if he would. He’d probably just toss it. There was no way I was leaving my number on a board in hopes he’d see it. That was how I would end up on a true crime Youtube channel. 

About to call it a night and escape the bar that was building a headache in the base of my skull, I shot a text to Jesse to let him know I tried the bar and at least got a last name. As I turned to put my phone in my purse, the chair opposite of me was pulled out. Looking up, I couldn’t believe my dumb luck.

“Heard you were looking for me,” John said with a chuckle. His deep, gravelly voice was just like I remembered it as he was grunting in my ear while he-

“Yes, I am,” I said with a nervous laugh. “I, uh, know that it’s been a while since we last saw one another and I planned to call you, but I lost your number.”

“You know you don’t have to make up a story if you want to have a pint with me,” he said, a soft smile peeked from under his whiskers. 

“Oh, no, I really lost your number,” I said, straightening up in my chair. “I also have the memory of a goldfish, so when I realized I had lost it, it was too late. But you’re here now.”

“That I am,” he said, nodding with a hum. Almost getting completely lost in his shining blue eyes, I quickly gave him my full name. 

It was very clear as to why I had started to flirt with him in the first place. The way he looked at me, making me feel like he knew exactly what he wanted and it was me. 

“It’s nice to get a full name, after almost two months,” he said. “It’s lovely to meet you, I’m John Price.” He held out his hand for me to shake and damn it, I was melting into his touch. His hand was warm and rough, but firm. “So, were you seeking me out for an introduction or maybe I could buy you a drink?”

“Uh, I was actually looking for you because. . . Well. . .” It felt like the words were getting stuck in my throat, trying to choke me to make me leave and pretend nothing happened. 

“You want another go where we’re a bit more sober and able to have more fun?” John offered with a wink as he leaned forward to sip his beer he’d brought over with him.

“I’m pregnant,” I blurted out. He furrowed his brow, staring at me.

“Congratulations?” He asked slowly.

“That’s why I was looking for you,” I said with a heavy sigh. “I’m pregnant and about 7 weeks along. If you do the math. . .”

“I see,” he said, nodding. Sitting back in his chair, he fiddled with a coaster, staying quiet for a moment. I didn’t want to push it or scare him, so I was patient. “And you’re sure it’s mine?” 

I had prepared myself for that question, made sure it wouldn’t bother me by asking myself that same thing over and over, but hearing his tone and seeing that flash of doubt on his face made me want to hide in shame. I didn’t shame people for how many people they had slept with and while I didn’t have sex with strangers, it felt like suddenly I was this ‘loose’ person that was trying to get every single dick they could and use the system to get free stuff. The next nine months were going to be hell on my body, but sure, I only did it for free stuff and to control a man I had met ONCE.

“You’re the only person I’ve slept with in the last four months. So, yeah. I’m very sure,” I said, feeling my chest start to tighten. Anxiety began to twist my stomach like I was wringing my hands under the table. “I don’t want anything,” I added, nearly choking on my own spit. “I mean, I don’t want you to feel like you owe me or the Bean anything. I just wanted you to know, so if you did want to participate at all, you could. If you don’t want to, that’s fine. Again, I just thought that you had a right to know.”

“That did go through my mind,” John said with hesitation. “I know you said you don’t want anything, but it wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t help out at all. A support check at least.”

“That. . . That’s up to you. I’m not going to take you to court over it. I figured if you ever want a relationship with the Bean, then we can work something out. I’ll keep you updated on anything you want to know or I can just leave you alone,” I said. That part was hard. I didn’t want to be a single mum and I didn’t want to be alone, but I also didn’t know John. How many relationships went sour because two people had a kid and chose to stay together instead of separate because they thought it would be better for the kid? Too many. 

“I think I’d like to know,” he said, looking up from the coaster to me. “I’d like to be involved as much as I can be.”

“Okay,” I said, twisting my napkin more. “Okay, we can do that. Um, I have a doctor’s appointment next week. If you want, you can come. It’s just a general check up.” 

“Yeah, I can do that. Just let me know the time and place. Do you want to meet there or I can pick you up?” He offered, that look coming back again. John knew what he wanted, but I couldn’t tell if it was me or the Bean. That wasn’t something I thought I would need to worry about. Would he think I wasn’t fit to be a parent by myself? Did he have family that could raise the Bean and think it would be better if they did? The prospect of being betrayed to have the Bean taken away was suddenly very real and terrifying.

“We can meet there. Here’s my number, so you can keep it and I can’t lose it again,” I said, sliding my phone over to show him my number. He added my number to his phone before adding his to mine then sliding it back to me. “I’ll go ahead and send you the details. Um, okay, I just realized how, well, how silly this sounds, especially after me giving you my information, but I just thought of it. You aren’t a crazed serial killer, are you?”

John let out a bark of a laugh, his shoulders shaking as he chuckled. “No, no. Nothing like that. I’m just a captain in SAS.” 

“That’s what it was,” I groaned. “I knew it was military, but I couldn’t remember exactly what it was.”

“To be fair, I didn’t exactly tell you,” he said, leaning forward again, much more relaxed by my ice breaker question. “So what is it that you do?”

“I’m a restaurant manager for an Italian place on the south side of town. Ciao Bella.”

“I’ve heard of the place. Always good things. I haven’t eaten there before, but now I might,” John said. 

“It’s a pretty good place. I recommend it and not just because I work there.”

The longer we talked, the more comfortable I felt with him. I still wasn't sure if he wanted me or the Bean, but it was starting to look like both of us. When I was ready to go home, he offered to drive me home and when I declined, not for lack of him trying, he walked me out to hail me a taxi. There was a bit of awkwardness at the good night part. Did we kiss? Did we high five or wave? In the end, I gave him a one armed side hug that he happily returned. 

Once I was in the taxi and down the street, my phone buzzed with a message. 

'I forgot to ask, but why do you call the baby The Bean?' I snorted and shook my head. 

'Because you English really like beans and that's the size of it right now.'

'You're English too.'

'No, I'm Scottish! There's a difference!'

'You’re right. Out of curiosity, are you related to or know a Johnny MacTavish?'

Fuck.

'Is he from Inverness, Scotland?'

'Yes. You know him?'

I had screwed up. I had seriously screwed up. I couldn't bring myself to answer him, not even when he called once I got home. It had been almost a decade and I still couldn't bear to think of him. He was supposed to be the good one. He was supposed to help me and comfort me and instead he abandoned me. If John knew him then I couldn't be around John. I couldn’t put myself or the Bean through what I had gone through the last time I’d seen him.

Once inside my flat and my door locked, I turned off my phone so I didn't have to listen to it buzz with calls and messages. How could I explain to him even the very basics to begin with? I couldn't without giving away every dirty, dark detail of why I cut him out of my life to begin with. 

Laying in bed as I felt sick, I couldn't help but think that I made a mistake. I never should have looked for John and I never should have told him. It could have been dealt with quietly and quickly and I wouldn't be so attached to it. Wrapping my arms around my belly, I started to cry. Why did I try and do the ‘right thing’ for myself? It never worked out, it wouldn’t be any different from Paul. He’d find out and he’d either leave or take the Bean or worse, would make me believe he was a good person till I truly needed him and it turned out to be a lie the whole time.

When I had ghosted John, I don’t know why I thought he’d just disappear. Why would he, after finding out I’m pregnant with his Bean, not do anything to track me down and make sure I wasn’t dead in the gutter or smuggled to another counter? While I had no information to go off of to find him other than a bar, he had plenty for me. Between my phone number, my place of work, all the information on my social media, and the doctor’s appointment that I had given the details to, I was somehow surprised to find him waiting for me at the front of the clinic the day of my appointment. It had been almost a full week since I’d seen him and had been ignoring his calls and texts in hopes he’d either talk to Johnny and find out why it was better that way or would just give up. 

“Ah, shit,” I groaned under my breath, seeing him sitting on a bench as I walked down the street from my bus stop. John had already spotted me before I could try and go another way in, giving a wave as he stood up to meet me. 

“Do you want to talk about why you pulled a Houdini on me before or after the appointment?” He asked, meeting me halfway.

“Afterwards. I haven’t eaten today and I don’t have the energy to explain everything in great detail like you’ll want it to be,” I said with a sigh. 

“Why haven’t you eaten?” John asked, frowning a bit.

“I woke up late after pulling a double shift. Turns out when you’re pregnant you get tired much more easily and if you stop moving, you do fall asleep no matter where you are,” I said, rubbing my tired eyes. There were dark circles under my eyes for sure and I probably looked like I had rolled out of bed after a week of doing nothing. My clothes were wrinkled, my trainers dirty, and my hair unwashed for the last week. John meanwhile looked put together and had done everything on his to-do list for the next month in six hours. 

“Alright, yeah. We’ll go for food after this and we can talk,” he said with a nod. Turning, he opened the door for me, letting me lead the way to the receptionist. After checking in, we found a pair of seats together in the corner. As I looked around, I felt more shame creeping up. It was a government run clinic, which meant people who weren’t well off were there and that meant stereotypes. The mum with two kids screaming while pregnant with a third, one who didn’t look older than 15 with her own mother, and one who looked like she had nicotine patches on her arms as she bounced her leg and scowled at the room. It was what I could afford as I didn’t have private insurance and John didn’t seem the type to have been in a place like that before. At least in the UK. 

I began to worry if he was silently judging me, reconsidering everything about me because we were there and not some posh doctor’s office with pleasant music playing softly while pretty people with white, toothy smiles were all around. 

“Ms. MacTavish,” a nurse said from the door to the exam rooms. Standing up, John and I followed. She took my vitals and weighed me before taking us to a small room. 

“Do you want me to hold anything?” He asked softly, minding how the room made our regular voices sound like we were shouting. 

“Oh, yes, thanks,” I said, handing my purse and jacket. I hopped onto the exam table as he held my things, moving his chair closer to the head of the table instead of at my feet. At least he was being polite. We waited a bit in silence, but it was actually comfortable. It was odd, given most people would be talking about anything and everything to avoid the fact that I was about to have to take my pants off and have someone else stick their fingers inside my fanny. 

The doctor came in after a bit, knocking then coming in without an answer from me. She immediately went to wash her hands before looking over my chart, not looking at me yet. “Okay, Ms. McTavis, you are here for a regular pregnancy check up, and is this the father of the child?” She asked, misspeaking my name. The woman looked like she was either going to ask for a manager or call the police on someone for being too loud two houses down. 

“Yes, this is John,” I said, not even bothering to correct her. I probably wouldn’t see her next time, so it didn’t matter.

“And how long have you two been sexually active together?” She asked, continuing to read over my chart and make notes. 

“Um, just once,” I said, earning a raised brow from her. “We had a one night stand. What does that have to do with the visit?”

“Ah, are you sure he’s the father?” She asked, looking down at my chart to write a few things and ignoring my question.

“Yep, the only person I’ve slept with in four months.” This was a nightmare. It was one thing to go through this with just myself, but having John there to see and hear the questions was humiliating. If we had been married or a committed couple, it would be different, but because we weren’t, I was the irresponsible one.

“All it takes is just once with no condom or pill and here you are. Alright, go ahead and take your trousers and pants off and we’ll do a quick pelvic exam.” Instead of leaving the room, she drew a curtain around me after handing me a gown. I just tried to keep any signs of embarrassment to a minimum so we could get through this. 

“I can hold those for you, Love,” John said softly, once I was changed. He was standing up with his eyes down, but holding out his hand for me to give him my clothes. 

“Thanks,” I said in a near whisper, handing him my things before getting back on the table to put my feet in the stirrups. Letting out a breath, the curtain was drawn back and the doctor scooted in on her rolly stool with gloves on and ready to go. “Lube’s a bit cold,” she said, smearing it a bit before pushing in a finger then two. It felt so uncomfortable and hurt slightly, making me even more embarrassed that John was there to see it. She had to adjust my legs, spreading them wider and higher, making it harder on my body as she did the exam. 

This was completely different from him having his head buried between my legs or him seeing me completely naked on top of him. Part of me began to wonder if I was just stupid for offering to have him at appointments with this happening. I had probably scared him off for good. Parents who wanted kids, who were trying for them, this wouldn’t bother them. We had an accident and this was forcing us to be much more intimate in an alien way.

“I need you to stay there for a moment, I forgot to grab something from the supplies,” the doctor said, pulling the curtain so I wouldn’t flash anyone when the door opened. When it closed, I tried to keep my sigh quiet, but again, those fucking rooms made a whisper sound like borderline yelling. The quiet fell over us once more, but this time, John stood up to move his chair closer. Sitting back down, he was right next to the table. He reached up and took my hand in a loose hold, giving it a quick kiss as we waited. If I wasn’t so anxious or ready to throw up, I would have cried at his sweetness. 

Once the doctor came back, she finished her exam and said everything looked good and she’d see me in four weeks. After finishing her job, she closed the door behind her after letting me know to take my time if I needed to and just leave the door open when I left. John stood up, letting go of my hand, to grab some paper towels for me. I quietly thanked him as I cleaned up myself before taking my clothes back to dress. When I was done, he took my hand in his and walked me out of there. 

Outside, I felt better, but only so much. The close interior of the clinic and the chemical smell from disinfectants were not longer trying to smother me along with my embarrassment at least. Now I had to explain everything to John and expect him to be okay with it after making him sit through that?

“If you’d like, I could get you on my health plan and you could go see a different doctor,” he offered as we kept walking. I wasn’t really paying attention to the direction as my hunger was starting to overshadow everything else, my hands getting a bit shaky had him stopping us. He looked over my face as he held both my hands, silently taking stock of where I was at. “Let’s get some food in you before we talk about anything else, yeah?”

“Please,” I said, nearly bursting into tears. Goddamn hormones. Putting his arm around me, he led us to his car to drive us to the nearest restaurant. 

After we were inside and food was ordered, delivered, then devoured, that was when he started to talk again. 

“I meant it earlier,” John said, using a napkin to wipe his face clean of crumbs. “I can put you on my health plan and you’ll be able to go to a different place.”

“I appreciate it, but this is fine,” I said, tearing up pieces of bread to sop up any juices left from my meal. “It would be a mess to change providers and this is the easiest place to get to from my place by bus.”

“You know you can ask me to take you to your appointments. It’s not a problem,” he said, looking over my plate that I practically licked clean. “Want anything else to eat? My treat.”

“I feel like a broken record a bit, but it’s fine. I’m good,” I said, fibbing a bit. Ordering a small portion didn’t exactly work in my favor, but I didn’t feel comfortable relying on him much more than I already had allowed myself to. “As for my appointments, you won’t be able to take me all the time and when I hit 28 weeks I go every other week, then at 36 weeks it’s once a week. It’s a lot to ask of you and I can do it on my own. I promise, I’m an adult.”

“Even adults need help from time to time, besides, I said I wanted to be involved,” he said. When the waitress came around to ask if we wanted anything else, John turned to look at me and waited patiently. The waitress seemed to understand what he was waiting for as she turned to look at me with a sweet smile.

“I’ll have a burger and fries. Adult portions, well done,” I said after a few seconds of panic deliberating. The man seemed unable to stop himself from trying to take care of me as much as possible. That should have been a sign to me that he was a good person and would do anything for me and the Bean. He probably did that to a lot of people around him as well. The waitress took my order with a nod then was off.

“Now, about the health plan,” John said, picking up his mug of coffee. I could see the slight smile he was hiding behind it and wanted to slap it out of his hands. Ugh. He was going to drive me insane with being so nice and helpful.

“As long as I don’t have to marry you or move in with you to be on it,” I said with resignation. 

“Done,” he said. “I’ll get you the paperwork for you to fill out and that’ll be that.” 

“Sounds good,” I said. 

A quiet fell over us as he stared at me and I refused to look at him. I knew what he wanted and until he asked, and even then, I wasn’t going to offer it up. 

“So,” he said, setting his mug down to lean against the table on his elbows. 

“So,” I said, picking up my fork to swing a bit in my fingers as I leaned back in my chair.

“You’re Johnny MacTavish’s little sister?” 

“Depends on who you ask,” I said with a shrug.

“If I were asking you?”

“Then I would say that I don’t have any siblings or immediate family.”

“And if I asked him?” I looked at his words. John was watching me, every movement, every small twitch or tell. The man was waiting for me to lie or to tell him the truth.

“Then he’d tell you he had two younger sisters. One is deceased and the other is one that he and his parents don’t talk to or see,” I said, shifting in my chair. “You didn’t tell him, did you? About me or us or the Bean?”

“No,” John said, shaking his head. “I thought you two might be estranged partners at first, but I did my own digging.”

“Yeah? What’d you find out?” I pulled my legs up in the chair to sit criss cross, unable to keep his gaze for too long. 

“I found out you went to secondary school as Johnny was starting the military and your sister was working at a local shop. Once you graduated, you went a bit wild, I would say. Partying and such. Then your sister died in a drunk driving accident and you disappeared for a bit,” he said. “But I’m still not getting the answer as to why you ran when I mentioned Johnny.”

“That is because he and I don’t speak. I haven’t spoken to him or my parents in almost a decade. Basically since our sister died,” I said, keeping my gaze on the paper straw cover that I was folding. John was quiet, letting me get the words out on my own time. “I had been at a party that night and had been drinking. So, I called Saoirse to come pick me up. All my friends were pretty pissed at the time, so I thought I was doing the right thing, you know? Not leaving with the drunk people and getting a sober driver.” I swallowed hard, feeling my chest tighten as I tried not to let the images of that not conjure up in my head. I didn’t even get to know what happened fully till my cousin Mike told me and that was nearly two days later. 

He and my other cousin Seamus were the only family I still considered to be family. They were military like Johnny, special forces in SAS, but they were older. Mike was nearly 60 and Seamus was pushing mid 40s, but they had always been kind to me and never treated me differently. Especially Mike. He’d send presents for Christmas and my birthday, things I actually wanted while my parents would give me the bland socks or clothes that I hated. He still did when he could. All he had were his brother Paulie left as his parents were gone with no spouse or kids of his own. Mike got me through the grieving, but he never spoke up like Saoirse did. 

“She was on her way there when one of the guys that was at the party left, and he hit my sister when he was trying to race someone else that was drunk. When my parents found out where I had been and why she had been there, they blamed me for her death. Johnny wasn’t around much because he was off doing military stuff, so the only story he got was from them. I never got to explain to him what happened or find out what our parents told him. He wouldn’t look at me even at the funeral when the family was gathered together. I ended up drunk halfway through and left. No one followed me aside from my cousin Mike. He let me stay with him till I could get my own place. My parents didn’t try to find me or talk to me, neither did Johnny.” 

“I’m so sorry, Love,” he said softly, reaching over to take my hand that was starting to pick at my cuticles. “That must have been. . . That’s so hard.”

“Yeah,” I said with a snort, trying not to focus on it too much and have a melt down before I got my food. “Johnny never reached out to see if what they said was true, just trusted them despite the bullshit they always pulled with me. I have no clue what I did to them, but my parents always treated me differently. It wasn’t outright abuse, but I know they never did like me, let alone love me. Saoirse always stood up for me, whenever they gave me a hard time, she’d call them out on it. Johnny didn’t get to see much of it because he was always busy and he always believed our parents. They had never done anything wrong to him, so how could they be so bad?”

“Have you tried reaching out to him? Try explaining anything to him?” John asked, rubbing my palm. 

“I did once, but he acted like I was. . . Like I was some druggie asking for help to get their next fix. It was maybe six years ago. I saw him in passing in Glasgow. He said I needed to get help and stop asking for money, before I even said anything. Johnny told me that I was an adult and couldn’t live off of mum and dad forever. Apparently our parents had been telling him that I was constantly asking for money for beer or drugs or whatever and he didn’t question it. We used to be really close, you know? Right before he turned 16 and tried to join the military, we’d always be around one another. Him and me and Saoirse. I don’t know what changed, but once he was gone, he wasn’t my brother anymore. Just a stranger who didn’t have time or want for me.” 

Just as it was getting too much to talk about, my food arrived. While I didn’t have that much of an appetite after explaining myself, even leaving a lot out, I still needed to eat. John didn’t ask any more questions as I ate, though I’m sure he had some. Finished with my food in just a few minutes, I let my meal settle before asking my own question. 

“So, how do you know Johnny?” I asked, knowing it was something that we would have to work with instead of around.

“He and I are on the same deployment team, specialized task force if you will,” John said. “We work together and see each other almost daily when we’re not deployed.”

“So this is something that he will find out about,” I said, nodding as anxiety made my stomach roll. 

“I know you two aren’t on good terms, but I can’t hide this from him. I also didn’t know how. . . Sensitive it was,” he said. “I can tell him myself or we can tell him together, but he has to know.”

“Which means my parents will find out as well,” I said, feeling like I was losing any sense of control I had over the situation. It was quickly going into a very upsetting and unwelcome direction. 

“Possibly,” John said. “I know that this is asking a lot from you, from carrying the baby to having to speak with family you cut out of your life, but I want to make this work. I want to be there for our child and you.”

“You’re right this is asking a lot,” I said, nodding as I stood up. “I can’t do this John. I’m not even sorry, but I am being asked to do so much, no I’m being told to do so much. I know you want to be in Bean’s life, but I am sacrificing everything and you get to just waltz in like the hero with the medical plan and the money and the car to take me places. I’m not-I can’t. No, it’s not happening,” I said, walking out. John cursed before following me out. 

“Love, just wait,” he said, grabbing my arm. 

“No! You wait!” I snarled as I turned on him, yanking my arm away. “I am expected to give up everything and sacrifice my sense of safety and self worth for you! Not Bean, but you! Because you work with my brother who I haven’t seen in years and because you want me to go to the nice medical practice and you want me to do this and that and I don’t want to! I don’t have to! So just leave me alone and forget I ever found you again. I’ve been on my own long enough that I can take care of myself and Bean without you.”

“You don’t have to though,” John said. He was frustrated, scrubbing his face as he looked around to see people staring at us because of my outburst. “Just-”

“No, no justs!” I cried. “I want to be left alone. Don’t call me, don’t follow me, don’t message me, nothing!”

He looked so heart broken, so desperate to help, but didn’t know how to handle being denied. Part of me wanted to just break down into tears and hug him, plead for him to never leave me, but I knew. . . I fucking knew that this was a pipe dream. Anything he and I could ever be or have was a fantasy. As soon as Johnny or my parents found out, they’d poison John against me. Help him take the Bean if they wanted to. 

I stared hard at him for a few moments before turning to walk away. I was miles from my place, but I didn’t care. The walk would help me get rid of these feelings and wants and pointless dreams. It should have been clear from the start that I wasn’t going to have a house with a yard and a bright red door with a shining white archway. No 2.5 kids with someone I loved and an old dog or cat we found while dating. I saw who I was at the clinic. The mum with two kids screaming, a third on the way while trying to handle it all on their own. That was my future.

Days passed and John kept his distance. I didn’t attempt to contact him and he did the same. After a while it felt normal again aside from getting sick at the slightest strong smell. I hadn’t escaped the dreaded ‘morning’ sickness after all. Work was hard, but I got through it, even if it meant leaving when the food began to be cooked and coming in early. Hitting 10 weeks felt like it took forever. The mood swings were still awful and my breasts were tender and swollen. I was getting a more noticeable bump too. It was easy to hide, but standing in front of a mirror in my underwear showed that there was indeed a Bean growing inside me. 

The worst part was my blood pressure. Somehow I had very low blood pressure despite the stress I was under. Low enough that if I was still for too long I would start to pass out. A quick clinic visit had me upping my salt intake and water. It wasn’t bad if I was at home, I could just sit in the floor till the feeling passed. I hadn’t experienced it outside of the house, yet. 

Mid week 11, I finally went to the store instead of eating out. I wasn’t feeling great, but I was doing what I could. Pushing the trolly up the bread aisle, I was looking for the one type of bread I knew I could stomach when fate decided that it was time for things to come to a head. 

As I was reaching for the bread, standing as tall as I could on my tippy toes, a hand reached up and grabbed it. 

“Here you go,” a familiar voice said. I turned to look at the person with wide eyes, both of us having a moment of disbelief. 

“Hey, Soap, don’t forget the-” 

Son of a fucking bitch.

“Oh,” John said as he saw me and Johnny staring at one another. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah,” Johnny said, never taking his eyes off me. “Just helping this nice lady get some bread.” 

I never had a hair trigger to cry before, but the moment he said that instead of saying he knew me, it broke me. Bursting into tears, I couldn’t even leave. I was sobbing so hard. 

“Soap,” John said with a growl. I tried to brush his hands away, to try and get some space, but John wasn’t letting me leave. 

“Do you know her, Cap?” Johnny asked, sounding anything but pleased. 

“Easy, Love,” John said softly, pulling me close and stroking my hair. It shouldn’t have made me melt into him so easily, I should have tried harder to leave, but I was just so damn tired. 

“Price?” Johnny said, getting gruff. 

“I know who she is, Soap,” John said. “I know who you are to her. We can do this here or we can do this in private, Sergeant.” His tone left no argument or even a choice. The three of us left the store empty handed. John had me tucked under his arm the whole time we walked to a nearby house. It was just a few blocks from mine and when Johnny pulled out his keys to open the front door, I began to sob all over again. He had been so close this whole time and we never once ran into each other. It meant we either had very bad luck or he knew where I was the whole time and never said a thing. 

John offered soft words of comfort and reassurance as he guided me to a sofa. Sitting me down, he looked off to the side and told someone to bring him a cool wash cloth and to make tea. 

“I’m not fucking English, I don’t drink tea,” I croaked between sniffling sobs. 

“Yeah, but I am and so is the Bean,” John said, giving me a smile that made his cheeks round and his eyes crease. It was the same one he’d given me that first night we met. 

He had been sitting at the bar, nursing a scotch when I came up wild and loud, climbing onto a stool so I could kneel on it to be able to lean onto the bar so the bartender could hear my order. I glanced at him and flashed a smile and a wave. ‘Hi!’ I said, giving him my name. ‘Do you like tequila?’

‘Hi, I’m John and I do like tequila.’

‘It’s grand to meet you, John! Have a shot with me!’

“Who’s Bean?” A voice asked, bringing us out of our small daze. Looking up, there stood a man with dark eyes and a curious look. 

“Gaz,” John said, clearing his throat. “Not the time.” The man nodded, handing him the wash cloth that he turned to wipe my face. Letting him clean me up, I was able to calm down and at least stop crying. The headache that came after didn’t help at all. I couldn’t take any medication for it either, so I only had a bag of frozen peas that Gaz had grabbed at John’s request to help soothe the pounding behind my eyes. 

“Seems we’ve calmed down enough that we can talk,” John said as Johnny joined us, standing in the doorway, leaning against it with his arms crossed and his face sour. “There’s no good way to say this, so I might as well just say it. Johnny, your sister and I had a one night stand and now she’s pregnant.”

“Bullshit,” Johnny scoffed. 

“Sergeant,” John growled in a warning. 

“She’s not pregnant,” Johnny said, not backing down. “You two may have fucked, but she’s not pregnant. She’s just trying to get money out of you.”

“I went to a fucking doctor’s visit with her. She is pregnant and she’s been trying to avoid me and push away any help I offer her because you and your parents seem to have it out for her,” John snarled, standing up. “Now, I don’t know what your parents told you, but your sister has done everything in her power to make sure I’m not in my child’s life because you and them treat her like a plague rat. She has not once asked for a damn penny, let alone any large sum you’ve made up in your head.”

“You don’t even know if it’s yours!” Johnny cried out, pushing off from the doorframe. 

“I’m the only one she’s been with, you fucking muppet! You’d know that if you’d talk to her like a decent person, let alone a decent brother!” John snapped, getting in his face. “I have been trying to do everything I can to make sure I have a relationship with my child, at least, because it is impossible to get close to her after everything you lot put her through! I gave you the benefit of the doubt even. That you were just fed lies so much that nothing else made sense! No, this is willful ignorance now and I won’t stand for it. Your sister has been alone needlessly for years. Be a fucking man and own up to your mistakes.”

The room was deathly quiet as the two men stood there, seething as they stared each other down. 

“You know shit ain’t been addin’ up, Johnny,” a low, gruff voice said. A man with a skull balaclava stood off to the side as he watched everything. Had he been there the whole time? “It hasn’t been for a long time.” Johnny turned away from John to look at the man then to me. His snarl faded as he kept our gazes locked before walking away. “I got him, you take care of yours, Price,” the man said, calmly walking after my brother. John nodded, letting out a breath he’d been holding. 

“I. . . I’m sorry, Love,” he said softly, taking a seat next to me, his head hanging as he stared at his hands. “I know you didn’t want any of this and I’ll take you home if you want me to.”

“John,” I said, reaching over and taking his calloused hand in mine. “Thank you.” He looked from our hands to my face, his brows relaxing a bit from the worried scrunch they’d been stuck in.

“You’re welcome,” he said softly, leaning in to kiss my cheek. 

“I think maybe we should try things differently,” I said, bumping his head with mine. 

“Yeah?” He hummed, pulling me close to rest against his chest. 

“Dating. We should date. Start there and work our way up,” I said, nuzzling against his chest. He was wearing a soft cable knit sweater and I wanted to climb inside it with him. 

“I think that’s a good idea,” he said, his voice rumbling deep in his chest as he put both arms around me. 

“I also need the insurance papers again. . . I lost them,” I said, tucking my head under his, happy in the warm and safe spot I’d made. 

“Of course,” John said, chuckling. 

“Also. . . That was really hot, you standing up for me. I don’t think I’d ever been so turned on before,” I said, hiding my smirk.

“Brat,” he snorted. “Do you want to go home?”

“Can you come with me and stay?” I asked, pulling away to look up at him.

“Wild dogs couldn’t keep me away,” John smiled, leaning down to kiss me. 

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Taglist: @birdstoprey @sebbytheraccoon @pricescigar @alwaysshallow

[herondalegfsblog]

My question to you with the Will and Jem thing is, why not?

You mention how them being parabatai basically makes them brothers, so it’s weird to ship- does that mean Emma & Julian is inherently weird tk ship? No it’s not.

Parabatais are inherently meant to be like your sibling, yes some parabatais do have that kind of relationship (Jace & Alec) but a parabatai is meant to be someone who is almost your other side. I just think it’s weird to use that as an argument against them.

I am also like you and prefer to view them as best friends rather than romantic, however I don’t think there is anything wrong with shipping these to. There is contextual things in the text. These two characters have a deep love and understanding of each other, both willing to sacrifice happiness so that the other is happy. I don’t think this inherently means there romantic, I just think that when a character has a love for another character like Will&Jem it can be interpreted in a lot of different ways. Cassandra even recently just went on Instagram to say that she wanted Will’s first word to be Jem- these are two characters with a deep connection.

Jem had so much love for Will and his family that he protected the Herondales for the rest of his days, that’s devotion. And even at the start of the series, we saw Will only being kind and caring towards Jem.

All I’m saying is why these things are inherently romantic, they have certain undertones which can be viewed and interpreted romantically. Will is waiting in death for Jem and Tessa.

I would also argue with you on the Jem&Tessa thing, however since you do think that I think you kind of misinterpreted the book and I would recommend another reread.

you just spent a whole essay stating how much they loved eachother and i absolutely agree — will and jem loved eachother so much. but they were not in love with eachother. which is why i find it weird to ship them. they spent the whole series talking about how they were brothers, neither of them ever hinted at or alluded to the idea that they might be in love with eachother. in fact, one of the main things that makes will will is that he is in love with tessa ONLY and above all else.

shipping emma and julian is different because they CLEARLY exhibited romantic intentions towards eachother whereas will and jem never did. again, it would be like the random and unwarranted shipping of james and matthew who never exhibited any romantic feelings towards each other, only brotherly feelings. showing “devotion” towards eachother as you named it doesn’t have to mean romantic love, like i said it’s okay for two men to be best friends and be devoted to eachother without everyone just saying yeah yeah they were into eachother. no? they just loved eachother dearly and thats completely fine.

plus, neither jem nor will are interested in men😭 thats like if someone were to ship alec with clary? like clary is straight and alec is gay, it’s not right to change their sexualities just cuz we feel like it. in the same way, jem and will are both interested in women, so it’s frankly wrong to ignore their sexuality like that and ship them together.

i honestly think that shipping them genuinely goes against what this book is supposed to be about. these are two best friends and brothers who just happened to fall in love with the same girl, but because of how much deep love and care they have for eachother, they didn’t hate eachother for that, and wanted the other person to be happy with her, SEPARATELY. and i think that’s beautiful.

and idc if you disagree with me about the jem and tessa thing, i definitely didn’t misinterpret the books and it’s likely that you did actually, seeing as they’re my favorite books, i study english literature, and i’ve reread them more than any other series. lol

[this-aint-massachusetts]

My future man au is finally done!!! After 1000 million years, so now ima yap about it. Warning for a long ass post.

First imma say all the characters that will be in the series:

Josh Futturman

Gabe Futturman

Diane Futturman

Ty-Anne ‘Tiger’ (her real name is Ty-Anne but goes by Tiger because I felt that made sense and would be less confusing for another character)

Cory ‘Wolf’ Wolfhart

Stu Camilo

Ty-Anne (I’ll explain this later)

Elias Kronish

Lucy ‘Lugnut’ Wolfhart (yeah she doesn’t canonically have a ‘real’ name but I gave her one cuz I can)

Jeri Lang (yay she’s not a bloody pulp!!)

Joosh Futturman (once again I’ll explain later)

J26 (will once again be explained later)

The Cluster (they might be taken out later though because I’m not quite sure how they’d fit into this au)

Marigold Kronish

[more might be added or removed later]

Here Biotics do still exist but they’re more calmer and less murdery so humans and Biotics now just coexist without wanting to kill and so there’s also no resistance. As well as Tiger still has part biotic in her.

So to explain a few character ‘duplicates’; Joosh, Josh, and J26 here all are separate people despite looking similar. Joosh is a far off cousin to the Futturmans who is still famous off his video games and energy drinks (and is still an asshole), J26 was another kid in the foster system like Josh he just got adopted way before him. As for Tiger and Ty-Anne, they’re both cousins, Ty-Anne being Stu’s daughter still and Tiger only living with the two because her mother is currently missing and/or just dead.

Following up with the foster system, this au is inspired by @dottsdraws foster au so J26 and Josh were both adopted yet J26 was adopted way before Josh was so he’s around 17 while Josh is 14.

Speaking of ages, this is kinda like a high school au so I think I should get into that a bit.

The school is a k-12

(The only ages that follow canon is Kronish, Marigold, Diane, Gabe and Stu so I won’t be putting those down) The ages in this is:

Josh - 15

Tiger - 15

Wolf - 15

Joosh - 23

Ty-Anne - 17

Jeri - 16

Lugnut - 13

J26 - 17

So Jeri is still a biotic yet since biotics are more peaceful here they don’t have the bombs in their necks anymore yet I still wanted to involve some kinda explosion thing for her so I made it that she has an interest in explosives because I’m silly like that.

Josh here also still has a crush on Jeri, she doesn’t like him like he likes her but like in canon she’s still a bit manipulative so she kinda screws around with him but doesn’t like him at all.

Now here is where I get into some headcanons for this so if you don’t like that you can skip this part or don’t yet please don’t be an ass about my headcanons.

So it’s implied in this au that Tiger is sapphic, it’s not really said directly and she doesn’t have a love interest but she is sapphic. As well as she’s nonbinary yet still uses fem pronouns (remember! Pronouns ≠ gender!). Josh is trans FtM that’s a main plot point of his character arc so it’s more main, as well as he’s bisexual. Like Tiger it isn’t directly said but Wolf is bisexual as well and his also FtM trans yet that also isn’t very much of a main plot point. For Jeri I wouldn’t consider her aroace but she doesn’t have interest with getting with anyone but still flirts with basically everyone no matter gender so I guess maybe she’d be demisexual and aromantic? And she’s transfem because I’m js silly like that.

K now that I’m done with that ima move onto some family relationships.

As said earlier, Tigers mother and father are either dead or missing so she lives with her uncle Stu and her cousin Ty-Anne. Lugnut and Wolf are siblings but Wolf is technically her legal caretaker because like Tigers parents they’re either dead or missing. Josh and J26 are both adopted siblings by Gabe and Diane as well as Joosh being a far off cousin.

Now ima get back to the school au thing for a second.

So since it is a school instead of Kronish and Stu being scientists, Kronish is the principal and Stu is the vice principal. Jeri is the class president yet Ty-Anne keeps trying to take that role over. J26 is there yet everyone in the school thinks he’s dead because he just hides in a classroom all day.

Not related to much but Josh has a pet chinchilla named Chimmy :3

Everyone except for Josh has a sorta love-hate relationship with Jeri. As well as in the story it won’t be brought up much but it’s implied that Jeri and Tiger dated briefly but it ended up in a messy break up which is why Tiger doesn’t like her all to much. (Oh and the explosives too, she doesn’t like her explosives)

Okay that was… a lot…. But that’s it for now. Like I said more will be added/removed if I decide to but that’s all I got for now. I’m tired see y’all sometime

[opheliaweeps]

so I just finished reading ‘the oleander sword’ by tasha suri. I’m at work, so I finished the book, stared at my laptop for a minute, then came to the bathroom to cry and write this post (yeah, I’m in the bathroom right now. I’ve been crying for five minutes).

I’m crying because reading this book (which is book #2 of suri’s trilogy ‘the burning kingdoms’) has been… cathartic almost. the plot is high fantasy and political unrest, but the setting, the worldbuilding and careful nuances of the story are based on historical india, the country and myths and history I grew up with. somewhere inside me, the young girl who never saw a book that had a character that looked like her is sobbing in grief and gratitude and vindication, because an author like her decided to write this story. and it’s everything.

I’m crying because the relationships in this series are complicated and heartbreaking and human. siblings, friends, lovers, and the tangled webs in between - they’re so beautiful to read about. the pain of betrayal and bittersweetness of love, in a time when nations are at war and the characters are torn between their duty and their heart (an age-old story, the original tragedy). the delicate details that show the madness of corruption, the humanity in even the most twisted of villains, and the pain in hurting those you love so that they can live.

I’m crying because not only does this book speak to my desi heritage, it’s a queer story, setting a princess rebelling against her dictator-emperor of a brother and a temple-elder of a conquered nation of flowers and eldritch worship on a tumultuous path. their bond is fraught because of what they must do to serve their own countries, honour warring with the desire and love for each other in their hearts. a sapphic desi-high fantasy series - that’s something I never thought I would see.

I’m crying because the side m/m romance is pure tragedy and yet, it’s so beautiful it hurts to read. while the main heroines are separated by treachery and prophecy and gods of old, coming back to wage war for their glory, these two boys are separated by something much simpler: death. one dies (for his honour, for the men he leads, for his sister), and the other lives. the other lives to grieve and push forward, and isn’t this the oldest story? someone must always leave first, but we are never prepared, and I was not prepared for this death. because the one who lived had already lost so much, bled out for an empress he is bound to and her brother whom he loved. and he was taken away from him.

I’m crying because I love the world that has been built here, the stories woven and characters that suri has breathed life into. I’m crying because of the story, the pain, and the representation I never thought I’d see. but most of all, I’m crying for the love that this story holds, and the hurt that always follows bliss, because no good thing can ever be felt without unwanted anguish to sweeten these brief, tender moments.

[yeosboba]

12.51am

I'm transferring this fanfic from my main blog, @yeosluvr.

_____________________________________________________________

Featuring: Yeosang

Genre: Angst, big brother Yeosang, mentions of San, Wooyoung and Felix (SKZ)

A/N; This is an idea I’ve been thinking of for a long time, and is actually part of a series that I’m currently (slowly) working on, so for now, just enjoy the random word spill huhu. Do leave some feedback and reblog&

Disclaimer; this is just a fanfiction and doesn’t portray how kang yeosang or any ateez and stray kids behave irl.

...

She quietly rests her head on his shoulder, him leaning his cheek against her hair. The Kang siblings stare at the raging storm ahead of them, fingers intertwined with each other’s. She misses this feeling of being calm and at peace and she knows that only Yeosang is able to provide. 

Even now, when they’re both introverts and have the mutual habit of keeping things quiet with each other; it’s only because they know what the other feels without having to tell. 

“I miss you, Yeo,” she says first, bringing his knuckle to her lips and gently kissing it. He copies her actions and smiles when she looks at him. It’s pained, sort of sad but also blank. She kind of realises that this must’ve been the face that he’s seen her with all along.

“You’re always gonna be stuck with me, sis,” he sighs, eyes trained on the storm. His black tank top is now a bit wet from the bits of rain he evaded earlier, but he doesn’t shiver even for a second as he gently tightens his grip on her fingers. “We only have each other now.”

“A lot happened,” she replies.

“I noticed.” Yeosang chuckles sadly. “In just a span of what, six years–”

“Five, Yeo.”

“Even worse.” He points it out. “What happened to you, baby?”

“Too much, apparently.” He knows. He knows it. He doesn’t even have to ask.

“How’s Felix, sweetheart?”

Yes. How is Felix? “I’m sure he’s fine,” she smiles at him.

“Did you guys fight?”

Fuck Yeosang and his observation.

“He’ll be fine.”

“I know that.” He nods.

She repeats the way he nods, and eyes him suspiciously afterwards. “I took those pills on time, Yeo.”

“That you did,” he smiles. “It means you’re not fine, y/n.”

“Yeosang.”

“Y/n.”

She groans.

“I really can’t watch you be in pain anymore.” The way his voice softens at this pains her more than she could bear. She loves Yeosang. He’s the only family, the only brother she could trust. He understands her in ways people don’t, even Felix. Evidently why Yeosang’s the one with her right now, not Felix.

“How much do you know, Yeo?”

“Enough.” He shrugs.

She sighs. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“It’s fine, honestly.” Yeosang smiles at her. “I just wanna make sure you’re okay. I only have you besides Wooyoung and San, you know?”

“Yeah I know.”

The elephant in the room is too huge for him to leave it alone apparently.

“I’m also frightened that you’ll do it again.”

She looks at Yeosang, who looks as unfazed and nonchalant as ever, but the grim look he has in his eyes, despite not even looking at her, is what makes her heart clench in its place again. She didn’t mean to do it, it’s just too much to bear. The pain, the voices, the heartbreak.

“Hey, sis.”

She looks at him.

“You still have me." 

She hums.

"If you don’t trust me, you can always go to Woo, or San. I don’t care. Just–”

“…just don’t leave you?”

“Exactly.” He smiles again. It’s almost creepy how he smiles so easily. “Please try to live. However you want. Just don’t keep it to yourself if you feel like you can explode.”

She hums, smiling. “Thanks, Yeo.”

“Hey, what are siblings for, hmm?”

[unofficial-book-of-quotes-tm]

Taskmaster New Zealand series 1 summary

So, I finally caved and decided to expand to Taskmaster NZ and I have to say, I like it a lot, which I didn’t exactly expect, to be honest. I know a lot of people like TM NZ and have been recommending it to me non-stop, so yeah. It’s genuinely brilliant. Paul Williams and Jeremy Wells are great choices in my opinion for the assistant and the Taskmaster. They aren’t at all like Greg and Alex which I find quite refreshing. Don’t get me wrong, I adore Greg’s and Alex’s dynamic and it’s a huge part of why I adore TM UK so much, but I’m glad they didn’t try and replicate it. Jeremy is a lot quieter, more lenient and nicer when scoring the contestants, and whereas Greg has rarely a nice word to say about Alex, Jeremy basically showers Paul in praise. It’s so different, yet I think that’s why it works so well. I’m a BritCom kind of guy through and through, so I don’t know any of the NZ contestants, but everyone won me over so fucking fast. The first series is always difficult, and TM UK was already a household name when TM NZ got its first series, but I think they pretty much nailed it. The first series of TM UK holds a special place in my heart, but TM NZ slots in so easily alongside it. I expected some awkwardness, and especially Jeremy seems to struggle a little to find his footing in the early episodes but I don’t mind. I also think the Taskmaster Ranch is a nice location and so much bigger than the Taskmaster House, allowing more variety in scenery even when they’re just in one location, and I really think they nailed the tasks too. As far as I’m aware, Alex writes the tasks for TM UK himself and it’s just him who does it whereas for TM NZ they have a team creating them and it’s somewhat noticeable on occasions, but I don’t mind either way. I don’t have anything negative to say about the first series. Sure, there were things they could have done better, but who cares? I was also quite lenient about TM UK’s first series and I think they’re both highly entertaining, which should be the main point, right? The cast is also just really wholesome and I appreciate that when showing the VTs, the editors don’t just stay on the VT but intercut it with the reactions from the cast and you can also hear their reactions throughout the VT, something I miss in TM UK (I know they did it in earlier series, but why they stopped I don’t know (I mean, Tim Key’s reaction to Romesh smashing the watermelon on the ground lives in my head rent free)). Jeremy’s scoring feels sometimes even more arbitrary than Greg’s and introducing half-points in the first series could have gotten messy, but it didn’t. And I like his use of bonus points. As I know none of the cast, I basically couldn’t give less of a fuck about who won, so, yeah, I’m down with Jeremy’s scoring. As a side note: A funny thing I noticed was in episode 4 and 5, there was a guy in the audience who really, and I mean really, enjoyed himself. He was there to cheer and cheer he did. Good for him.

I love Angella Dravid. She’s so awkward and anxious but she has some prime responses / one-liners. She and Guy are the contestants I thought were funniest and she seems to be a genuinely sweet person, the way she interacted with Paul and the other cast. I thought about comparing her to Joe Thomas, but they’re on opposite ends of a spectrum for me in terms of awkwardness. I think she might be my favourite contestant overall (at least at this point in time).

I don’t know if this is a controversial opinion or not, but I think Guy Williams is a better Iain Stirling, as in, Guy did annoy me slightly, but he was also genuinely hilarious to the point where he managed to combine these things perfectly, and he was a joy to behold, especially him and Paul bouncing off of each other. You really do feel the sibling dynamic there.

I don’t know enough about Leigh Hart to conclusively determine whether he was just being nice when he offered Paul a drink anytime he was leaving to get stuff or if this is a joke I don’t get. I think I laughed each time he hit his head on the shed’s ceiling (and I feel kind of bad for laughing). Also, I loved Leigh’s feud with the blender and mixer. He seems to be one of those inoffensive white guys every iteration of Taskmaster has had at some point, so yeah, quite competent without doing anything too memorable — although that cheese sandwich looked fucking delicious, admittedly.

Watching Brynley Stent attempting most tasks was like watching an overexcited puppy, peaking in episode 7 with her crawl whilst carrying the frisbee in her mouth. I got to say, VT Brynley and studio Brynley are two entirely different people for me, like, how are they the same person? My brain can’t compute that at all. I did enjoy watching her, even though some of her ideas felt a little unhinged, overall she had a rather innocent brand of comedy about her. I liked that.

Madeleine Sami looked quite handsome in her suit, didn’t she? As I loved Leigh’s feud with the blender, I also adore Madeleine’s love story with the leaf blower. I don’t have much to say about her otherwise. Madeleine was very average, in my opinion, despite coming second with a massive lead over third place, I don’t remember much of what she did, although I have since gone on to watch Deadloch, specifically because Madeleine Sami is in it.

And I think it’s wild to have that many musically talented people in one cast. Anyway, that was TM NZ series 1. I’m not going to follow this up with series 2 immediately and put my focus back on TM UK for the time being, although series 2 and 3 were hilarious as well. But yeah, I’ll figure out a way to change it up a little every now and then. Thanks for sticking around!