#magic and heartbreak

[noukasen]

Erin Morgenstern

Neil Gaiman does both.

[justaz]

magic reveal where arthur doesn't say a word and starts walking away and then merlin is at his heel calling for him, pleading with him to talk, to let him explain everything, begging for him to turn around and look at him, his voice breaking with grief. arthur has never been able to deny merlin anything and turns but he is still hurt and angry and merlin can see it in his eyes before he even opens his mouth to spew accusations. merlin stands, demure, as he shakes his head yet he doesn't say anything - fallen silent under arthur's rage. arthur walks away and around a corner, merlin doesn't follow. merlin breaks down into heartbroken tears and sobs and arthur is just around the corner, leaning on the wall for support, and listening to merlin fall apart.

[adhd-merlin]

I enjoy the "sending my gay son to homophobia kingdom" jokes as much as the next person but, to be fair to hunith, I think people forget how unsafe ealdor was implied to be for merlin.

right in the first episode, in her letter, hunith tells gaius that she's afraid of what people in ealdor might do to merlin if he was found out (he is so clearly at odds with people here that, if he were to remain, I fear what would become of him). so afraid, in fact, that she packed merlin off to gaius as soon as she found out that will knew about his magic. it sounds like the two of them didn't even get the chance to say goodbye, so it must've happened very quickly:

[transcript from episode 1x10]

given hunith's fear, there's no reason to believe that people in ealdor were much more tolerant towards magic than people in camelot.

then, in episode 5x03, we see an instance of villagers taking matters into their own hands and attempting to burn an old woman on the pyre for being a witch. while this happened in camelot, it didn't have much to do with the king's laws – on the contrary, the villagers even tried to do it in defiance of arthur's direct orders.

I can imagine this happening in other villages — and ealdor is, as hunith wrote in her letter, a small one. Would it be easier to hide there, or in a city where hundreds live and nobody knows you? better yet, under the protection and tutelage of somebody who could teach you how to control your random outbursts of magic? she had no way of knowing merlin would end up spending most of his time under the prince's nose.

then, of course, there's the fact that merlin was not happy in ealdor. although in episode 1x10 he tells will that he didn't want to leave and that his mother made him, he also tells arthur in an earlier scene that he left because he did not fit in anymore and "wanted to find somewhere that [he] did". (was he lying to will when he said he wanted to stay, to soften the blow of him leaving? perhaps; though it's likely that he actually felt torn about it).

as merlin painfully admits to gaius later, the years before he moved to camelot were the loneliest of his life. and hunith would certainly have noticed her son's deep unhappiness.

so, to get to my point — hunith's choice wasn't as crazy as it sounds. sometimes the only option you're left with is sending your gay son to homophobia kingdom and hope that things turn out all right for him.

[fairsweetlonging]

just thinking about how binghe had no idea that without-a-cure even had a cure and he spent all his years as a disciple thinking his shizun would at best be disabled for the rest of his life and at worst die a slow and painful death, and it was to save him.

[sexy-sapphic-sorcerer]

thinking about "it's unreasonable to assume that a character knows what genre they're in" and how in series 1-3, Merlin (and the audience) thinks that he's in a fantasy adventure comedy. no one realises that he's in a tragedy until it's too late.

[yourfavebooklrsfavebooklr]

8 amazing trans books for trans day of visibility!

[transbookoftheday]

Agender Books To Read For Agender Pride Day

Happy Agender Pride Day! Here are some books with agender characters you should read:

Book Titles:

The Heartbreak Bakery by A.R. Capetta

The Evolving Truth of Ever-Stronger Will by Maya MacGregor

In the Care of Magic by Robin Jo Margaret

Our Bloody Pearl by D.N. Bryn

When the Angels Left the Old Country by Sacha Lamb

Something Spectacular by Alexis Hall

The Thread That Binds by Cedar McCloud

Werecockroach by Polenth Blake

[a2zillustration]

.

| First | | Previous | | Next |

[[ All Croissant Adventures (chronological, desktop) ]]

[[ All Croissant Adventures (app) ]]

[comfied-chriterature]

The parallels between Hananene and Mitsukou!??!? Mitsunene dreaming of leaving everything behind, just the two of them, not bothering to think about the how or what comes after, only wanting to be happy and carefree with their partners, trying to find a solution no matter how unrealistic so neither of them have to stress anymore… and Hanakou still cautious and skeptical and so worried, bringing the other back down to earth, thinking of their safety and the future, knowing it will hurt, yet they still go along with their partner in the end…

[morablackbird]

card 12 the hanged man, wittober prompt: lost

warning: blood and body

It’s not graphic but there is implied death

(ngl easiest card of my life and I feel it looks just how I wanted, flap Jack looking like a human heart, Caleb looking like he has wings, and when it’s flipped, he’s either rising or falling, the drops of blood looking like feathers, I wanted this card to tell the story without being super graphic)

sincerely Dove

[thetypewriterdaily]

instagram

[minnarr]

FOX SPIRIT MATCHMAKER: RED MOON PACT - episode 19

I'm trying to be flamboyant, but I'm not sneaking in.

[dreamingofmarauders]

Broken Hearts

Sirius Black x Fem!Reader

Summary: In which Y/n wakes up from a dream on the morning of Sirius' birthday that shatters her heart yet again, reminding her of the one person she can never have.

Warnings: Secret pining, Heartbreak, Jealousy

A/n: I hope you enjoy it and I do want to make a part two of this, but I just don't know when that will be happening lol.

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

Part two to 'Broken Hearts'

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

The sun shone brightly down onto Y/n, the lake glistening beautifully in front of her, the birds chirping and a slow breeze blew. Y/n smiled softly. An arm wrapped around her waist, turning her around. She smiled widely.

It was the one who ruled her heart, her best friend, her companion of seven years.

Sirius Black.

He looked down at her softly, pulling her closer that made Y/n gasp at the proximity. Sure they were touchy as friends but this felt different than the others times.

Y/n gazed up into Sirius' stormy grey eyes, losing herself in the beautiful yet chaotic storm.

"I love you, Y/n." He said, making Y/n feel her world turn upside down.

"What?" She softly breathed out, unable to believe what she had just heard.

"I love you, Y/n." Sirius repeated, gazing softly down at her.

Y/n's face broke into a huge smile.

"I love you too." She replied, making Sirius' face light up even more and he leaned his head down as Y/n felt her eyes flutter shut.

His lips brushed hers when Y/n's eyelids flew open and she moved back, earning a quizzical look from Sirius.

"What's the matter, love?" He asked confusedly.

Y/n slowly shook her head, stepping back, leaving the comfort and warmth of Sirius' arms. "This isn't real." She whispered. "This isn't real."

Y/n's eyelids shot open and she sat up, breathing heavily as she looked around. Reality came crashing down on her and her heart shattered into a million pieces. Y/n threw the covers away aggressively and rushed into the bathroom, almost slamming the door before remembering her friends were asleep.

Her hands shook slightly as she reached for the cool water from the tap, splashing the liquid over her face, relishing in the coldness. Y/n looked up in the mirror, feeling her eyes tear up.

Why did it have to be her? Why did she have to be in love with one of her best friends, who would never look at her in the same way?

*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*

A few hours later, Y/n found herself in the seventh year boys' dormitory, awaiting the birthday boy to step out of the bathroom. She along with the boys were all hidden, and when the door opened, they all sprang out, throwing confetti everywhere and screaming together,

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY PADFOOT!"

Sirius was stunned for a second before his face broke into a grin, grabbing James and Peter into a headlock, messing up their hair.

"Thank you, Prongsie and Wormy."

He released the pair who scowled at him, to which Sirius barked out a laugh. Sirius moved over to Remus and patted him on the shoulder in gratitude. Finally, his eyes moved over to Y/n, who felt her heart flutter. He came over, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and placing a kiss on her head.

"Thank you, love."

She smiled up at him, feeling butterflies erupt in her stomach. Sirius dropped his arm from around Y/n and a coldness washed over her. Remus noticed the expression on Y/n's face and he pulled her over, wrapping an arm around her. She sent him a grateful smile. Only Remus was aware of how Y/n felt towards Sirius.

Fast forward a few more hours and Y/n along with Lily, Marlene and Alice, found herself at Sirius' birthday bash. The music blared, the lights danced off the walls, people shook it out to the beat, drinks in hand and laughs erupted everywhere.

"How's my favorite girl? Enjoying the party?"

Y/n's lips turned upwards as Sirius came into view, Remus right behind.

"Yeah, it's brilliant, considering, Jamie, Rem, Pete and I are the ones to plan it out." Y/n answered making Sirius chuckle.

"We only got a party because it's my birthday." Sirius replied, "So really, it's all thanks to me."

Y/n rolled her eyes, "Oh shut up, you big baby." She said, and Sirius put a hand to his chest.

"You wound me, darling."

Y/n only shot him a sarcastic smile before grabbing Remus' arm and pulling him to the dance floor. "Dance?"

Remus rolled his eyes in annoyance but Y/n saw how the corners of his mouth twitched upwards for a second. "Well, you've already dragged me here, so why not?"

Y/n placed a kiss on Remus' cheek, "Aw, you're the best Remmy!"

Remus placed his hands on Y/n's waist as her arms came around his neck, and the two moved along to the beat. Y/n's gaze wandered around and in the corner it landed on her three other best friends. Sirius was trying to balance a spoon on his nose, but failing miserably. He was being cheered on by Peter and being laughed at by James.

Y/n felt herself smile at the sight. She loved her friends so much. Her eyes went back to the grey eyed boy, who had now given up his efforts and was instead laughing. Y/n admired him. The way he threw his head back, his hair framing his face, the joy on his face.

"Y/n, how long are you going to keep this up?"

Y/n tore her gaze away from Sirius to Remus who looked down at her with concern.

"You know Rem I can't tell him, it would ruin everything."

"It wouldn't, Y/n. Trust me, I'm his best friend as much as I am yours, I know everything about the two of you." Remus answered sincerely.

Y/n frowned slightly, "Please don't give me false hope, Rem." Y/n looked back to Sirius and felt her breath catch in her throat when her eyes locked with his grey ones. "You know it's not just a simple crush, I've fallen for him." Y/n said, while she kept her gaze on Sirius.

Meanwhile, Sirius was being told the same thing by the remaining two Marauders.

"Padfoot, just tell her already."

Sirius broke his eye contact with y/n and turned to look at James who had just spoken.

"She doesn't feel the same way. It would only destroy what we already have, and I can't afford to lose her." Sirius replied, his heart tugging at the very thought.

He watched her and Remus sway together, a smile on her lips and he felt himself melt. However that moment didn't last, as someone else came along, her eyes set upon Sirius Black.

Meanwhile, Remus had managed to at least make y/n think over about telling Sirius. Not only that but he had lit up a hope in her heart. Y/n excused herself to grab a drink to quench her thirst, and her eyes flitted to the corner where the boys were. Y/n felt her heart clench like it always did when she saw another person with Sirius. The girl pressed her lips to his and y/n looked away, her heart shattering for good.

Tears pricked her eyes and her hands shook. Her mind flashed back to the dream she had earlier the same day, which worsened the pain. She could not believe herself, couldn't believe she saw the truth in Remus' words. She hated herself, hated herself for falling in love with someone who would never return her feelings.

After all, a love kept like this would only ever result in broken hearts and nothing more.

[dee-writes-angst]

DROWNING

FEATURING Liam Mairi x reader

SUMMARY seeing the ghost of you hurts almost as bad as watching you go.

CONTENT WARNINGS major character loss, depression, depictions of grief

AUTHORS NOTE I don't know what it is right now, but I am just living for writing about grief. Sorry, not sorry! <3

"Look at me," Liam croaks from where he's splayed out on the ground by Deigh. Violet is sobbing loudly in Xaden's arms on the other side of him, but you can't hear them. Not when your ears feel like they've been filled with cotton when the love of your life is lying weakly on the ground beside you dying.

He's dying.

Oh gods.

As the realization sinks in, a heavy weight presses against your chest, squeezing the air from your lungs. Panic rises like a tide within you, threatening to overwhelm your senses. You reach out to Liam, your hands trembling as they hover over him, unsure of what to do, of how to help him.

"Stay with me, Liam," you plead, your voice barely a whisper, yet it reverberates with desperation. "Please, don't leave me."

But Liam's eyes are distant, glassy orbs that seem to stare into a void beyond your reach. His breathing is shallow, each exhale a painful reminder of his fragile state. You feel a tear escape your eye, tracing a path down your cheek as you struggle to hold back the flood of emotions threatening to engulf you.

Around you, the world seems to blur into an indistinct haze. The sounds of chaos and anguish fade into a distant hum, overshadowed by the deafening silence that fills your ears. All that exists in this moment is Liam, lying motionless before you, his life slipping away with each passing second.

Memories flood your mind like a torrential downpour, each one a bittersweet reminder of the moments you've shared together. The laughter, the tears, the whispered promises exchanged in the dead of night—they all swirl together in a kaleidoscope of emotions, too painful to bear yet too precious to let go.

You clench your fists, feeling the sting of helplessness gnawing at your insides. You would give anything—anything at all—to turn back time, to undo whatever led you to this moment, to save Liam from this cruel fate.

But time is a relentless force, indifferent to your pleas and regrets. And as you watch the light slowly fade from Liam's eyes, you realize with a sinking heart that there is nothing you can do to stop it.

"Please, Liam," you whisper, your voice cracking with grief. "I love you."

Liam's gaze meets yours, a flicker of recognition dances in his fading eyes. His lips part, words trembling on the precipice of his breath. With a herculean effort, he manages to muster the strength to speak, his voice barely a whisper, but each syllable heavy with emotion.

"Please…," he rasps, his voice barely audible above the din of chaos surrounding you. "You have to… keep living. For me."

His words strike you like a dagger to the heart, the pain of his plea tearing through the fragile facade of composure you've struggled to maintain. Tears stream down your cheeks unabated, hot and salty against your skin as you shake your head in disbelief.

"No, Liam," you choke out, your voice raw with anguish. "I can't… I can't do this without you."

But Liam's hand finds yours, his touch feeble yet filled with a quiet strength that belies his frailty. His fingers intertwine with yours, holding on with a determination born of love and desperation.

"You have to," he insists, his voice growing weaker with each passing moment. "You're stronger than you think… You can't let this… destroy you."

His words hang in the air like a solemn vow, a testament to the depth of his love and the sacrifice he's willing to make for you. And as you look into his eyes, you see the truth mirrored within them—the agonizing realization that this is goodbye.

A sob escapes your lips, a gut-wrenching cry that echoes through the desolate landscape of your heart. You bury your face in Liam's chest, clinging to him with a desperation born of fear and despair.

"I can't do this without you," you whisper brokenly, your voice a mere shadow of its former strength. "Please, don't leave me."

But Liam's grip weakens, his breaths growing shallower with each passing second. His eyes flutter closed, and for a moment, there's nothing but the deafening silence of impending loss.

Then, with a final exhale, he slips away, leaving behind nothing but the hollow ache of his absence. And as you cradle his lifeless form in your arms, the weight of his words settles over you like a shroud, a solemn reminder of the unbearable burden of grief that now lies ahead.

For in that moment, you realize that you've lost more than just the love of your life—you've lost a part of yourself, a piece of your soul that can never be replaced. And as you mourn the emptiness that now fills your heart, you know that nothing will ever be the same again.

There is no respite from the suffocating weight of grief that hangs heavy around your neck, dragging you down into the depths of despair.

You move through the world like a shadow of your former self, hollow and numb, the spark of life extinguished from your eyes. Friends and loved ones reach out to offer comfort, but their words fall on deaf ears, their gestures meaningless in the face of the gaping chasm that now consumes your soul.

Nights are the cruelest, long and lonely stretches of darkness that stretch on into eternity. You lie awake in bed, staring up at the ceiling, your mind consumed by thoughts of Liam—of all the things you wish you had said, all the moments you wish you could relive, all the ways you failed to save him.

The pain is relentless, a constant companion that gnaws at your insides, leaving you hollow and empty. You try to drown it out with alcohol, with drugs, with anything that will numb the ache in your heart, but nothing can fill the void left by Liam's absence.

And so, you continue to exist, day after day, trapped in a never-ending cycle of sorrow and regret. You wonder if it would have been easier if you had died with him, if you could have spared yourself this endless torment.

But deep down, you know that even death would offer no escape from the torment of your memories, no relief from the agony of your loss. And so you carry on, a shell of the person you once were, forever haunted by the ghost of the love you lost.

Days melted into weeks, and weeks into months, but the ache in my heart remained unyielding, a constant reminder of the void that Liam's absence had left behind. I found myself adrift in a sea of memories, unable to escape the relentless tide of grief that threatened to consume me.

Each morning brought with it a new battle, a struggle to find the strength to face another day without him by my side. I would drag myself out of bed, my limbs heavy with exhaustion, my mind clouded with sorrow, and force myself to move forward, one agonizing step at a time.

But no matter how hard I tried to bury my pain beneath layers of routine and responsibility, it always found a way to claw its way back to the surface, a gaping wound that refused to heal. I would catch myself staring blankly at the wall, lost in the labyrinth of my thoughts, my mind a swirling maelstrom of regret and longing.

It was in those moments of quiet desperation that I would feel him—Liam's presence hovering just beyond the edge of my consciousness, a whisper in the wind, a flicker of light in the darkness. I would close my eyes and reach out to him, my fingers grasping at the empty air, longing for the warmth of his touch, the sound of his voice, the comfort of his embrace.

But he was always just out of reach, a ghostly apparition that danced on the fringes of my perception, taunting me with the promise of solace that I knew would never come. And yet, I couldn't bring myself to let go—not when the mere thought of him was the only thing keeping me tethered to the world of the living.

I tried to lose myself in my work, throwing myself into my studies with a fervor bordering on obsession. But no matter how many hours I spent buried in books, no matter how many experiments I conducted in the sterile confines of the lab, I couldn't shake the feeling of emptiness that gnawed at my soul.

My friends and family tried to help, offering their support and encouragement in the hopes of lifting my spirits. They would invite me out for dinner, take me for long walks in the park, even organize weekend getaways to try and distract me from my pain.

But I couldn't escape the suffocating weight of grief that hung over me like a shroud, a darkness that followed me wherever I went, tainting even the most mundane moments with its oppressive presence. I would smile and nod and pretend to be okay, but inside, I was crumbling, piece by agonizing piece.

It wasn't until one particularly dark night, when the weight of my sorrow threatened to crush me beneath its relentless onslaught, that I finally reached my breaking point. I found myself standing on the edge of a precipice, staring out into the yawning abyss that stretched out before me, the urge to let go—to surrender to the sweet release of oblivion—almost overwhelming.

But then, in the depths of my despair, I felt a hand on my shoulder, a gentle pressure that pulled me back from the brink. I turned, expecting to see nothing but the empty darkness of my own mind, but instead, I found myself face to face with Liam—or rather, a ghostly apparition that bore his likeness.

I blinked, unable to believe my eyes. "Liam?" I whispered, my voice barely a breath in the stillness of the night.

He smiled—a sad, wistful smile that tugged at my heartstrings. "It's me," he said, his voice a mere whisper in the silence that surrounded us.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I reached out to touch him, my fingers trembling with disbelief. "But how?" I asked, my voice choked with emotion. "How is this possible?"

Liam's smile faded, replaced by a look of profound sadness. "I'm not really here," he said, his voice heavy with regret. "I'm just a figment of your imagination—a manifestation of your grief."

I shook my head, unwilling to accept the truth. "No," I protested, my voice rising in desperation. "You're real. You're here with me. I can feel you."

But Liam's expression remained unchanged, his eyes filled with a quiet resignation. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice barely audible above the sound of my own heartbeat. "I wish I could stay, but I can't. You have to let me go."

I felt a surge of panic rise within me, a primal instinct that screamed out in protest. "No," I cried, my voice echoing in the emptiness that surrounded us. "I won't. I can't. I need you."

But Liam shook his head, his features fading into the darkness like smoke on the wind. "You don't need me," he said, his voice a distant echo in the recesses of my mind. "You're stronger than you think. You have to find the strength to carry on, even without me."

And then he was gone, leaving me alone in the darkness, the emptiness of his absence a physical ache that echoed in the depths of my soul. I sank to my knees, tears streaming down my face, my heart shattering into a million jagged pieces.

But even as I wept, a small seed of hope took root within me—a tiny flicker of light amidst the darkness that threatened to engulf me. I realized that Liam was right—that I couldn't continue to cling to him, to the memory of what we once had.

I had to find a way to let go—to honor his memory by living my life to the fullest, by embracing the future with open arms, even in the face of uncertainty and pain. It wouldn't be easy, I knew, but I was determined to try—for Liam, and for myself.

And so, with a heavy heart and a newfound sense of purpose, I picked myself up off the ground and began to walk—away from the edge of the abyss, away from the darkness that had threatened to consume me, toward a future filled with possibility and hope.

It wouldn't happen overnight, I knew. The road ahead would be long and difficult, fraught with challenges and setbacks that would test my resolve at every turn. But I was ready—ready to face whatever the future held, armed with nothing but my love for Liam and the knowledge that he would always be with me, guiding me every step of the way.

And as I walked, the darkness began to recede, slowly but surely, replaced by the warm glow of dawn breaking on the horizon. I smiled, tears still streaming down my face, but now they were tears of hope, of gratitude, of a newfound sense of purpose.

For even though Liam was gone, his love remained—a beacon of light that would guide me through the darkest nights and lead me toward a future filled with possibility and promise.

And with that thought in my heart, I took my first steps into the unknown, ready to embrace whatever lay ahead, secure in the knowledge that I would never truly be alone. Liam would always be with me, a whisper in the wind, a flicker of light in the darkness, a love that would never fade away.

[simplykorra]

ava + every episode - episode 3: "ephesians 6:11"

[cyarsk52-20]

The anti LGBTQ "groomer" conspiracy has led to a severe uptick in violent incidents. O'Shae Sibley was murdered by hate for doing something joyful. Y’all homophobic biiiiches need to be looking at your own households or should I say church holds because we all know the real groomers are: those white conservative male pastors!