#made me doubt myself
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I have a Black Ops 2 playthrough going while I work and I actually forgot a lot. I played through it so quickly 3 years ago and haven't played it again because 😭 (also I'm not looking forward to the strike force missions). But damn.
But I'm also getting a little mad. Because if you think Woods is stupid and or impulsive yeah you haven't played this game. You haven't even watched a playthrough. You haven't even touched it.
I knew I was right. I internalized his characterization but forgot about specific moments. But there's SO MUCH solid evidence in this game (also in BO1 which I have played multiple times, it's my favorite ok?).
I don't want to write an essay but I MIGHT.
Took these from Hollow's playthrough (that's why he's there). But I think this has me motivated to pick up Black Ops 2 even though I'm BIG SAD about the canon ending. So I'll take my own pics then.
#frank woods#call of duty#black ops#black ops 2#bocw#david mason#look I got the vibe from some folks that my characterization of Woods was off#made me doubt myself#but I was FUCKING RIGHT
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the most difficult thing about growing as a person socially, as in getting out of your shell and noticing that you are, is that there will still be times when it doesn’t feel like you’ve grown at all! times when you can’t really connect with anyone around you, times when you fail to enter into an existing conversation, times when you say the wrong thing (or nothing at all when in hindsight you probably should’ve). but that’s also kind of the best thing, because that’s the thing that helps you realize that sometimes, it’s not you or your lack of skills or any shortcoming. sometimes certain environments just aren’t for you and certain people aren’t your people, and that’s okay. that’s human. it’s okay to not feel the progress you have made all the time.
#and that goes for every type of growth#backstory of this post:#after I came back after a few months of doing my international internship I felt so much more confident#it was easier making friends and walking up to people#i took more chances#and generally just heard it a lot from those around me who kept telling me how much i’d changed#this was further supported by my first office job that went pretty well#but then came my grad internship. and while i love the work and have met some great people I noticed it was difficult again#there was one office lunch where no one spoke to me at all! it was my first week and I didn’t know what to say#if i should even say anything#we were all sitting at the same table#not one person even glanced my way#it made me doubt myself; i was doing so well before#was that even real? why can’t I just speak up? this is not the way to connect with people#especially in my first week!#but you know what#i was still doing well. i just had to factor in the fact that these were all middle aged people talking about reality shows i didn’t watch#and bikes i knew nothing about#as well as people who knew i was the new intern yet didn’t speak to me at all even though I’d introduced myself to them all individually#and even so#people I couldn’t really talk to about MY interests outside of work either#my point being:#it’s okay to not feel a connection with everyone you meet#it’s okay to fall back into old habits even though you’ve developed new ones#it will never unravel the process you’ve made and the connections you’ve built#you’re doing fine#after this internship I will surround myself with people who reaffirm that belief#growth in the self#self love#positivity
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I love you messy artstyle i love you visible brush strokes I love you textures and rough edges I love you imperfections I love you roughness and colour blobs I love you scratchy sketches and bold stylisation and dirt and imperfections I love you ugly and raw emotion!!!!! ❤️
#i talk sometimes#art talk#i made a tweet like this on twatter ages ago but i've been feeling this a lot lately#also this is the start of me writing more on this blog and not only using it as art because who cares!! i don't!!#I wanna translate raw emotion into colors and shapes. I wanna know where to ignore all details and where to go ham you feel me?#i used to dream about developing a style like for MtG where it looked like a masterful oil painting that oozes realism and details#and i've realised the last two years or so that I would actually hate that for me. I know I wouldn't enjoy doing it. For myself.#it's that pipeline from wanting to be the perfect realistic wotc artist to accepting that I will never be that#instead i wanna learn how to stylise better and get a good brush economy going yknow. I wanna be bolder.#i doubt i'll ever be as incredible as all these MtG artists no matter what anyone says. but it's ok!! i don't have to be!!!#i just luv art man!!
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SO insane that Sam has seen AND liked this... I'm so cozy in my little tumblr corner that I forget my words can escape containment and be perceived beyond Aabria Iyengar
#aabria interacting with my posts are precious gifts that i hold close to my heart#but also she walks amongst us down here#i could not begin to fathom the depths of horrors that she has witnessed#but SAM. thats wild.#also hilarious given the post. man is stressing HARD lmao#every once in a while i scroll through the meme accs on insta cuz yall are what got me to get back on tumblr#so i like to see how things are going. its always a good time#criticalrolememes <3#critical role#sam riegel#the sam riegal tag was made to make me doubt myself every goddamn time#sea rambles
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"Minthara is so abusive to the player" *INCORRECT BUZZER NOISE*
Minthara would literally go to fucking hell for the opportunity to personally beat the absolute shit out of the person who actually did abuse you. She will throw hands with gods and devils just to avenge you.
And you will not be able to convince her not to.
#bg3#baldur's gate#minthara#minthara baenre#evil murder kitten#when i'm having a bad day - i just remind myself that minthara would definitely have some things to say about my parents#i would literally have to hold her back from knocking their lights out#well... id hold her back from one of them. she can have free reign of the other#all you gotta do is whisper a name - and babygurl is gonna go fix it#within 48 - 72 hours - your abuser will go missing under mysterious circumstances#and you do not even need to tell her to do this#she will do everything she can to ensure you can sleep at night knowing your abuser is gone#and can never touch you again#and if you still have doubts - just remember that she made an oath (a divine vow) *to you*#in which she will never harm you nor allow harm to come to you#and to quite literally seek vengeance against all those who have harmed you#ya'll can miss me with your minthara hatecanons and your poorly misunderstood readings of her and the comments taken outta context
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live drama adaptations part 2 (prev)
cast reveal and girls movie night 🔥
#i actually had the first three pages done for like. months now. and then i just forgot 🧍♂️#theres one more part to this but as to when ill finish that. haha#duck scribbles#minicomic tag#midoyuzu#and a bit of tomohaji on the side#doodles#enstars#midori takamine#hajime shino#yuzuru fushimi#tori himemiya#ibara saegusa#this is. a lot better quality than the first initial one amsdkjgshdgsmd i kindaa wanna redo it but its already a multiple part one i dont#think ill do that to myself rn akjdgskjwkjgjkd#its been 8 months i doubt anyone would remember the initial one but its ok u dont have to read it#i completely made up this manga and am now a little sad its not a thing that exists#i wish haruno was a real character i could post mangacaps of#thought too hard about it and there isnt any way to fit it into here but there is also a fourth character harunos childhood gyaru friend#also in love w her. she ends up having some sort of alliance with naoto but obviously its in vain too but its all chill#manga ends with haruno opening her dream cafe and asahi later joins her there after training a new team to take care of their old one#naoto becomes a regular there also w his new bf :] happy ending !!!#wow i have drawn Way too much lately. forgive me for such behavior ill probably be posting a lot less from here on out askjdgksjhgs#needed the food for when im away from my laptop for a week....#guess ill never get to finish that other lil comic i had planned for that sleepover drawing i made back during rarepair week </3#does anyone actually read these anyhow. i talk too much maybe
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hi! obviously i understand if this would be too complex to implement, but do you plan to have an option for mc to realize theyre trans/change pronouns etc in later seasons? if it’s not something that’s going to be included, how would the boys react to you coming out to them in a 1 on 1 conversation? (ik they would all be accepting haha but like what flavor)
I do have plans! It’s one of the reasons why I’m not giving players an opportunity to change your pronouns mid play through— because I want us to be able to write a scene about identity
I’ve mentioned it before but I think college/young adulthood is a time where you learn a lot about yourself and I want to be able to portray that in game too.
#keyframes asks#haha college is when I found out a lot about myself#and it made me a happier and more secure person because of it#granted it wasn’t without some doubts but it was something I wouldn’t exchange#so I hope that we’ll be able to show the highs and lows when it comes to self discovery
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Still haven't caught sight of Drag Strip's or Wildrider's names, but that's three out of five components of Menasor who show up in the race alone.
#When I saw this movie on August 15th I saw Motormaster's name but wasn't sure#I knew I had but seeing Motormouth later shown in the Iacon 5000 race clip made me very much doubt myself#Until I saw others mention they saw him and I specifically hunted him down when I saw it the next three times and he's THERE#Right before magnet trap/after the main two land on Darkwing and knock him out of contention#best placed Stunticon throughout the entire race#and you can *maybe* see him for one shot#TF One#Transformers One#TF One Spoilers#Transformers One Spoilers#TF#I need an art book and them to do special features of every cameo and background character who is intentionally placed#So for a month I literally was going 'did I actually see Motormaster or did I imagine that because I wanted so badly to see him'#Very glad the combiner teams were fairly represented except Constructicons and Protectobots#Had Fireflight & Silverbolt & Slingshot & Air Raid if I recall for the Aerialbots#Had Swindle for Combaticons#And a few technobots#Stunticons#Motormaster
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the juppet !! i just realised he is jerma posing i swear that was unintentional...... i spent so long digging thru muppet concept art and looking at old puppet designs just to end up doing a rly simple drawing but. i love joehills!! i have only been watching them for like 4 years but their videos r so special to me :3
#i would love to do a more complex drawing inspired by muppet concept art at some point... just wanted to give myself a bit of a break#i've been spending So much time on these drawings every day n it's not really sustainable for me to be spending multiple hours every day#when i have so much work i should be doing...... but i rly enjoyed this silly little muppet even if it's v simple for my standards#tbh i'm surprised i even made it this far into the challenge.. we're like two thirds in ?!!?!#i've only ever completed an art challenge once and that was inktober in 2018... and those were SIMPLE drawings#my standards are a lot higher than they were 6 years ago... but also there's extra pressure because i'm posting these#and i know i don't Have to post them but. it's a way of keeping myself accountable because i am terrible at that without outside motivation#omg why do i always ramble So much in tags this is ridiculous i'm so sorry if anyone actually reads these....#anyways i rly hope my people drawing skills r improving..#i doubt there will be noticable difference but i hope i feel at least a little more confident by the end of this#hermitaday#horsemeatluvr does hermitaday#horsemeat gallery#joehills#joehills fanart#joe hills#joe hills fanart#hermitcraft#traditional art#unedited sketchbook drawings 4 the win (i've given up on scanning n editing these or even taking them in proper lighting... too much effort)#i'm just a little guy
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"Trying His Hardest."
#rottmnt#rottmnt donnie#save rise of the tmnt#rottmnt fanart#unpause rise of the tmnt#tmnt#my art#its so late....i need to go to bed 😴#doubt ill be able to 0-0#i feel that insomia in ma blood#vent arts#donnie is always my muse for vent#was thinking of the episode he gave his brothers the tech he made#that scene hit me when they knew why he made them#;A;#like my pun there? his hardest haaaaa ill walk myself off#rottmnt raph#whoop#mood tho#feel like i cant do anything right these days. wish it got easier
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one thing I have learned about being poor is that you cannot for a moment stop thinking about it
#theres no peace#every little thing reminds me we are poor#seeing friends having electricity wifi heat food gas. it all costs money. and bills and fees and charges happen all the damn time#im constantly worried that i am measing up somehow or im not keeping track of my finances properly#the person handling our disability assistance application keeps coming back with question after question about my job#and i have so much doubt and fear that ive made some mistake in my answers that will disqualify us from support#and theres this sick backwards stupid thing where applying for and being on disability support is discouraging me from trying to make money#because the more i make the less likely we'll get support but i need to make money to live#its just fucked. and once we're on support i have to make monthly reports of my income so ill feel like im explaining myself all the fuckin#time#cus the system isnt built in a way that makes sense for self employed ppl who have business expenses to account for#sorry for the ranting i cant sleep#truly truly i think poverty is making me a worse persin#more anxious more resentful more jealous more miserable more spiteful#i have so little and there is so little i can do to help it#i want things in a more desparate and even childish way than i used to eant things#spend a lot more time fantasizing about magically having expendable income#not to mention the constant exponential guilt that comes from asking for help or recieving help. its guilt i need to unlearn but i feel it
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safi and chloe parallels are the end of me because FOR WHAT PURPOSE DID SHE HAVE TO CALL HER “super-max”
#slash positive#there are Some good things about this game#but anyways. despite having been 99% sure it was gonna be safi#her calling max that made me doubt myself for a sliver of a moment bc#out of ALL the nicknames#it just. the potential of it all. and honestly even whats actually there makes me go insane#lis de spoilers#lis de#lis double exposure spoilers#lis double exposure#life is strange de#life is strange double exposure#max caulfield#safi llewellyn fayyad#chloe price#safield#timeshift#AND THATS JUST THE BEGINNING OF IT TOO#so many parallels
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🎤 day 213 🎵
➥ today’s akito is from 4koma 142 “memory of a sacred place”
➥ tfw you pray to the pancake god
#if you haven’t read this one#akito is trying to push away his self-doubt#and mita makes a comment about him praying to his pancakes#akito shinonome#toya aoyagi#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#daily akito#queued post#at least posting on here has become something that’s made me really happy and proud#i think that even if i grew out of liking pjsk i might still try to keep this blog running on a queue#welp time to go try to make something of myself
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i dont know what the plan is now, i have never had a plan for anything, but i dont want to delete the previous posts bc it feels like im trying to sweep things under the rug or act like they didnt happen
#ganondoodles talks#personal#i wish it was easier to know when to stand my ground and when to see i am wrong or when to ignore things#i am a chronical self doubter so even for the most obvious things when someone talks against me theres a moment i am hit with doubt#someone could tell me 'ganondorf is actually a perfectly true representation of all arabic people at once (somehow)'-#and i will go 'wait is he??' no hes not you idiot you know it isnt you spend alot of time learning about it the fuck#if it werent for those horrible scary (rare-not online) meltdowns i think how easily i am to doubt myself and be influenced by others is-#-what makes me feel the most childish#idk if thats an autism thing or just a me thing#even when theres a belief or opinion that is cemented into my brain unchangibly i still doubt if its right or if i am allowed it somehow#its such a contradictory thing again. easily influenced and made to doubt myself but also immovable .. even on dumb things#like theres nothing that can change how i feel about totk but i still doubt it anyway#what if i am wrong and an idiot and everyone saying the opposite of me is actually more right?? (still doesnt change opinion but doubt tm)#also can tumblr plese stop recommending me suicidal tags when i type 'what if' in here???????????????#i am trying to get OUT and AWAY from that as far as possible i dont find it funney hehe#(and i dont think i typed any of those phrases before)
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hey dad so when i was ten years old and i told you that i'd gotten tired of romance plotlines in books and you told me that i'd be interested in them when i got older. i just want you to know that i was right
#might've been younger than ten even but it was thereabouts haha#i remember. standing on the driveway. complaining about romantic plotlines. hearing that i'd like them again when i was older.#pressing x to doubt. and now here i am#sometimes i wonder if being aromantic has made me more averse to romantic stuff just by virtue of like. conditioning myself into it#but no actually... this is one of those times where i Have been this way since childhood... openly and actively...#it's never made sense to me. never been super compelling to me. never been my thing. never really wanted that never longed for that.#you'd say 'imagine your wedding' and i would be planning my cool 2014-era tumblr doctor who wedding dress if i Had to plan smth#forgetting that you're maybe supposed to have like. a groom.#anyway dskfjghds#talking#aromantic#aromanticism#arospec#aroace#aro positivity
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This sounds awesome, I’m shocked they hadn’t thought of something like this decades ago
#I doubt I’ll go on it myself if I ever go to disney world cuz I’m terrified of coasters but I’m still so excited that this’ll be a thing#actually the last time I watched monsters inc I think either me or my sister remarked how crazy it is that disney never made a ride based#on the door scenes#disney#pixar#walt disney world#monsters inc
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