#made it to the library at least!!!
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oughhhh one thing they do not tell you about the journey there is that you also have to make it back
#not ouaw related#I tried to bike to a library but my maps app lied to me#so the library I was going to did not actually exist#I tried to go to the next one#but didn’t realize how far it was until i physically could not go on anymore#tw for nausea and vomiting for the next tags#I gaslit myself into thinking the exhaustion was somehow Fake#and got so exhausted that I threw up ON MY BIKE#then just sat next to it on the side of a highway while cars gawked#which I’m pretty sure is a circle of hell probably#made it to the library at least!!!#but now I am dreading making it back#I think having an Odyssean mindset about this might make it easier#I am only halfway through the journey#FUCK THERES A BEE ON MY LEG WHAT THE FUCK#bee’s gone! we’re good#journey time
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i think it's pretty clear who's who
#having intense rhato brainrot...i miss them#alt titles:#jason and his emotional support redheads#kory jason and their fav white boy#roy and his green glowy eyed freaks#rhato#red hood and the outlaws#joyfire#dc#dc fanart#art#my art#jason todd#roy harper#koriand'r#red hood#arsenal#starfire#jason todd fanart#starfire fanart#roy harper fanart#also jason's pins are really important to me!!!#nightwing pin bc he loves his brother despite what he'll tell you#park row public library pin <3#dead robins club pin that steph made them#pro palestine pin bc obviously#and many more political things#if jason isn't at least a little bit of an anarcho communist is he even jason
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AHSHAHAHDHD I ALREADY LOVE THIS NEW AU
but my one question is: what exactly are each of the brothers? mikey is clearly some kind of wanderer and raph a stone giant, donnie some kind of scholar/inventor, but leo is the one im most confused about. is he a nymph? a witch?
ty also @cococakeyum for the ask :D <3
(AND SPECIAL MENTION TO @scatterbrainedbot BECAUSE ILY YOUR TAGS ARE KILLING ME, GETTING ME SO HYPED FR :'D <3333)
#SO!#at least 3 of them are guardians#if it wasnt clear they all kind of have their own niche thing#and then a “bonus” power which is kinda just their usual powers combined with their protectee#ie: Leo does stuff with water and can use the surface of water to make portals#raph is super strong and big and shield-like and can build shield-like rock structures to protect#and donnie is the keeper of time and all knowlage#all in his library#each book in his library is a moment in time or an idea or creation#if the book is removed so is that part of time#which could cause the butterfly effect ect etc so he's there to stop that#his extra thing is creation#so he can build anything out of nothing (it just has to be non-living)#and as for mikey#dont worry. he has his abilites >:)#but we'll have to wait for now uvu#(i may have an entire story now made and ready to work on now help-)#OKAY RAMBLE OVER :DDD#rottmnt#rottmnt au#guardian au#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt leo#rottmnt raph#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt fanart#tribbleart#<3#tribbletalks#asks
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Please don't hurt yourself
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#library of ruina#hod#hod lobcorp#hod lobotomy corporation#hod library of ruina#erm... michelle. hii michelle. going to have to spoiler tag for you though baby#lobotomy corp spoilers#lobcorp spoilers#okay i think thats it#no shading because this made me want to KILL YMSELF#it looks fone w out it anyways. yay. thank you filter after effects for saving my ass this . hurt me so muchh to try to finish#nothing specific that had me make this. at least from lobcorp lor. its more of having more empathy towards my past self or when i was young#than me. right now. it feels as if the past is so devoid of my current self yet i know that its Me. its just so distant. to the point where#at times it feels as if the me of the past is devoid of the current me. im told im very empathetic? hard to tell. that im patient and kind#or more of understanding to everyone but Myself. so when i try to be kind to myself it feels impossible. but im able to do it to my past se#which makes a disconnect. please dont hurt youself. please dont hate youself. you dont need to do that. i know you want to live it hurts#i know. its alright to want to live. you dont need to apologize and feel Guilty. but never towards Myself. to console and wish to soothe bu#not to the current self. to pardon and accept but not to this Me. so i wanted to put it down kinda. felt most similar to hod ish.#its guilt for living. apologizing for existing. wanting to be accepted and pardoned. but also forgiving and accepting the self of before#not so much forgiving. forgive is a weird word. the hurt never leaves. and the guilt is there regardless. but. yknow. accept#sorry some random shit. yappin. who gaf abt that guy. who was that guy. anyways. hod <3 HODD!!!#just like to ramble abt what i think abt when i go to make pieces. since i uhh dont really have anyone to tell who would care. so. awkward.#god thats embarrassing actuallt migjt delete if im not lazy asf later. loser oversharing on the internet AHH 💥💥#uhmm back to the actual piece. the proportions and fhe coloring were having me feel like i was dging trying to get it right. almost#considered just gettinf rid of it and scrapping the whole piece. didnt though. wanted to have it done and finished. hod <3#the feeligns described arent what i would relate w hod? but closest chatacter towards the general thougut. so wanfed to draw her#i wanted to do more w ligjting and such as well. but it never ended up getting in. maybe later
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Skin accurate helsknight isn't real he cant hurt you..
Skin accurate helsknight:
Bro who is that 😟 the only helsknight I know is my bbg (and some other fanon designs.. some of you have some real bangers) (also tiny cube helsknight that i drew in the corner.. i want to give him a little smooch)
#art#artists on tumblr#jaloparker art#hermitblr#hermitcraft#hermitcraft fanart#helsknight#helsknight fanart#oc art#lore accurate helsknight#he scares me#tiny cube helsknight is very cutesy though#im going to put tiny cube helsknight in the hydraulic press#i learned the basics of blockbench i kinda wanna sculpt tiny cube helsknight now..#hhhhhhh my local library has a 3d printer too....#i could have a physical version of tiny cube helsknight...#i might have to do that now..#the only problem is that i dont have the charger for my laptop at the time of writing this post (sep 8th)#so ill just have to suffer until i get my charger back i guess 😔#at least i have traditional art still..#ill have my charger back by the time this posts so maybe ill have made him by then#we'll see
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Wouldn’t want him getting lost now, would we (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#ZEX#The Captain#DAX#Me quietly while watching Muppet Treasure Island: Don't | My brain: Haha anyway- ♪#I don't even have to reread! My brain just does this nonsense! It's still Right There at the forefront of my mind#At this rate I'll have to go pick up Treasure Island from the library *shakes fist* Stevensonnnnnnnnnnn#I will admit that the itch to reread has been growing but mmmmn I've got fics to vet for printing! And that one's technically unfinished!#I mean I might break soon lol but mmmmnnnnn!#Same thing when I was in a Treasure Planet mood years(?! how has it been that long and I still haven't rewatched!) ago#Anyway yes these were inspired by rewatching Muppet Treasure Island lol - it's just one interpretation after the other!#If you happen to go seeking out Professional Pirate you might recognize the second shot as when Jim has been kidnapped by the pirates#I kinda just interpolated from there lol#Same vibe as the set I made a while ago of ZEX piercing the Captain - there's just Something So about ZEX leaving a mark on him!#Not directly altering him (at least more than skin-deep haha) but decorating him! Dressing him up! There's Something about that#Like a living museum - how much does ZEX project onto the Captain? There's a lot of weird vibes around them <3#He wants A Human and he has His Human but hmmm ♪#Well for the time being that's his only human - and seeing as he's collared but without a leash in the last one he's not running away!#It's progress haha#Hhhh drawing the Captain in pirate garb really is one of my favourites <3 I had so much fun the first times around and it's still fun!#His hair is for some reason I cannot explain easier to draw in this setting - there is no explanation I can think of but it is! Why fight it#ZEX is also very fun to draw in pirate gear haha ♫ I really think it's one of his handsomest interpretations#I always think he's pretty! But something about the pirate aesthetic adds to his masculinity? :0#He's still a swishy pirate hehe ♥ Maybe it's the open chest on his tunic haha I just think he's very handsome!
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Fyodor/Nikolai/Sigma, domestic au, but they are painfully slavic and living their best lives, is something that can be so personal.
(this post took forever cause I essentially had to make it twice. I didn't look at what blog I originally posted this to the first time round. shoot me)
#the mixture of Russian. Ukrainian. and Polish would be so beautiful and so messy dear lord#they go to church at least every sunday if not more. Fyodor tunes into a radio midnight mass. Sigma veils when he goes to church#they all help cook so every night is fusion night. they scrounged up an *old* cookbook somewhere cause none of them had any family they-#close enough to to get an authentic grandma's cook book. so they make do with what they've got#they all speak all three languages#they believe in *every* slavic superstituion and piece of folklore. its actually like. hard to exist. they're bordering being annoying with#i say lovingly#breakfast is their favorite time of day. they make fancy teas and kiss and read the paper with the radio going#fyodor has a library of old slavic literature#fyodor and nikolai almost only go by fedya and kolya#nikolai lives up to the smoking/alcohol addiction stereotype and he's proud of it#this post is made by a polish slav that is only just starting to reconnect with the culture my family tried to bury so bare with-#the sparsity please. any suggestions would be lovely!#slavic is a blanket term#slavic#sigma#sigma bsd#sigma bungou stray dogs#bsd sigma#(implied) fem sigma#fyodor dostoevsky#bsd fyodor#fyodor dostoyevsky bsd#nikolai gogol#bsd nikolai#sigfoylai#siglai#fyolai#fyosig#bsd
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insanity is my top song this is so embarrassing
#i remember listening to it on repeat at least ten times at the library. february 12 i was trying to read pride and prejudice. unsuccessful!#sf9 made it but pinkpantheress and lucky daye didnt this is crazy……
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If i may add to the idea of preventing the meltdown. I imagine on those rare attempts that succeed the seed of light scenario error triggers and all the work done is erased (and just to be both cruel and to make sure it doesn't happen again you remember)
it would, too. just to mock you
nothing but relief, intense and whole, washes over you when somehow, you manage to reach Binah's consciousness in the midst of her meltdown. the fragment of an Arbiter tilts her head at you, lowering her bloodstained claws and slowly leaning down with careful movements; her face presses gently into your palms, the texture cool and smooth, and when you begin tracing the grooves and ridges that line her form she lets out a quiet, metallic sigh. another moment in silence and the Arbiter dissolves, leaving the Sephirah of Extraction slumped in your hands, looking almost peaceful. her hand comes up to graze yours, fingers covered in tiny scars and old wounds, and you let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding as Binah opens her eyes and stares at you with the softest gaze you've seen her muster
then there's a tick as the clock rewinds, everything starting from the beginning again, and you're drowned in your own despair
#project moon#lobotomy corp#library of ruina#binah#binah lobcorp#binah library of ruina#no i will not shut up about binah's meltdown form#she's suffering in there#at least in my eyes#even an arbiter occasionally wants to be held#she just couldn't give in to those desires until now#to make it sweeter the first question you ask is if she's alright#in her meltdown her heart is shielded but made of glass#and she trusts you with it#with that fragile traitorous heart of hers
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Oh yeah, the other day while I was working drive thru, someone pulled up in a blue car with orange lines and something along the lines of “security” and another similar S-word on there I can’t remember
And I was like “holy shit, TFA Sentinel Prime”
I mean the car wasn’t the same model at all, it was just a normal car, but the colors were so similar it couldn’t not remind me of Sentinel
I also don’t have a picture of said car because I was working and I can’t just stop and take a picture of a customer’s car; I’m not really even supposed to have my phone out during work. So you’ll have to take my word on it
#I was reminded bc I have a picture of Sentinel saved in my library#and I suddenly remembered the car#at least this time it was an actual car that made me think of Transformers#and not two buckets that happened to be next to each other and were red and blue#and the perspective made me think “holy shit Optimus Prime”#but yeah random thing at work#transformers animated#sentinel prime#real life stuff#random stuff
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— Deleted Scene from SMALLVILLE, “Talisman” (3.20)
#don't get me wrong I love the 'I did it for you' scene that actually made it into the ep but this one makes me feel absolutely feral#from 'somebody special?' to 'I didn't realize this was that important to you'......'[she] is' like these are straight up romance tropes???#and the way he never takes his eyes off lana during the whole conversation with lionel... oh I am UNWELLLLL#tbh I'm assuming this scene was cut bc (aside from time reasons) it made lex's feelings for lana way too obvious too early#which like... I understand if so. but I'm glad it still exists as a deleted scene at least#smallville#smallvilleedit#svedit#lex luthor#lana lang#lexana#sv 3x20#dcmultiverse#my gifs#I downloaded specific software and rented the s3 dvd from the library just so I could get my hands on this scene in higher quality lol#(now I have all the special features from that season saved btw... if anyone happens to be interested in that stuff 👀)
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Applying to an apartment with little income and terrible credit score, in hopes that they'll be desperate enough to take me
#im not even getting my hopes up for this one folks#but this same company rook me when i had no rental history so maybe?#unlikely for the aforementioned piss poor income and credit score#im just praying they remember me feom when i used to rent from them and liked me enough then to take me again#the bathroom is not in the apartment btw#that's the wildest thing. like its a basic studio with a kitchen closet and main area#but you have to go across the hall. to the private bathroom#im hoping they realize that thats wild and give me the apartment#i neeeeed to leave my parents house. and i really miss that city the apartment is in#i wish there was a little essay section where i could tell the landlord how much i like the city#and that ill get a better job once i live there and my parents are going to pay my first month and security deposit#that would be nice#i applied knowing that i won't get it but also knowing that i cant get it if i dont try#mostly i just miss that city#there was a really nice coffee shop within walking distance of my apartment#(the apartment i applied to is next door to the building i used to live in so same area which is great)#but i didnt have wifi so i would go there a lot to do work. it was so cozy in the winter especially#and i went on a lot of walks. so i wiuld swing by there and grab a drink to sip on my walk#and it was literally within sight of a great lake. a literal great lakw of Michigan lol#i loved walking along the lake on a nice day. or a windy day and just watch the waves crash#and my favorite band is feom that city so i got to see so many of their performances. and theyre a small band so the most i ever paid#was $50 and that was for the vip package. i saw them for $10 once. and free once. and $50 for the vip#its a big art and music city and i love it so much. i miss it so fucking much and i regret leaving#but at least it made me realize that no other city is for me. that city is my home#oh and it was literally right next to a bug beautiful library that i loved to wander. i still have my library card from there#mostly used it to print stuff and you have to pay at the box next to the printer. and one time i forgot to pay. i still feel bad about that#but i dont want to reminisce too much cuz i know i wont get it#im trying to pay off my credit cards to bring up my credit score but its slow going#its much nearer my gf and all my friends so i would love to live near them. rn im hours away from about everyone i love#i ran out of tags. maybe pray for me if you pray? or just hope for me. i dont want to let myself want this but its there
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#this is like the 14th time ive fixed up this piece and reposted it#shinatama oni#deadly brain shinatama#if you know this game PLEASE talk to me#i feel insane ive met 3 people total irl and online that know this game#not counting ppl on onigalore#this is truly one of the games of all time#im pretty sure this game is abandonware at this point#please play it PLEASE PLAY IT#if i can convince 10 people to play this game ill run for president next#what is this? robo body horror?#robo body horror#nobody understands. im literally the person i am because of this game#it shaped my LIFE#this is the first video game i saw ever#its my dads favorite game so ofc its my favorite game too#there was a cd rom in the library and you bet your ass i had it always checked out#shame on everyone who played games and didnt place a hold on this masterpiece#i cried when they got rid of the rom. dawg at least they shouldve told me so i could take it#in highschool i had to make a presentation on a timeless classic and i presented this game#i got a B because i was convincing but shes never heard of this game in her life#its not my fault youre uncultured dawg. and that bungie dumped this in the trash. hmph#yknow one time the famous artist ilya kuvshinov drew konoko?#i need to become a good artist so i can show people the beauty of this game#i need more people to know and play it#i absolutely need it#i have this game on my laptop#i always keep it with me#oni is from bungie west made by take two and rockstar. right? i got that right right?#bungie oni
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i have a question for other people out there who may be like me and have a taste in music that is confusing, weirdly specific, random, inconsistent, and really hard to explain to other people; HOW do you go about finding new music? do you have a method that's successful most of the time? or do you, like me, just keep desperately listening to playlist after playlist and album after album and hoping to get lucky by finding a song or two?
when people try to give me recs they ask me what genres i like and i just say "nothings off limits" but it's not in a "i'll listen to anything" kinda way, it's that there's just something about certain songs that makes my brain go "YES" and every genre has the potential to have some songs that scratch that itch. pretty sure genre actually has little to no bearing on what i like.
there's a few specific genres i end up listening to quite a bit more than other genres but i don't think that's cause there's actually anything "special" about them for me, i think it's just kinda incidental and a result of how spotify will be like "oh you liked a few songs from this one specific genre?? so it's your favorite genre???? you want to hear nothing but songs from this genre for the rest of time????" and so the vast majority of my recs on spotify are just from these few genres and i've just fallen into a loop of them. i don't even end up liking the vast majority of songs that get recommended to me anyway, and whenever i go to ANY genre-specific playlist i only end up liking a couple, if even that many. so yeah it doesn’t seem like genre matters at all.
i think it's more about the rhythm/melody/vibe of a song (and maybe it could have something to do with the bpm of a song but idk) but there still doesn't appear to be much consistency for me. like spotify has the playlists that are like "chill mix"/"energetic mix"/"moody mix"/etc. and it's the same as when i listen to a genre mix. i CAN find songs i like in any mix but i'll still maybe only like 1 song for every 25 i listen to. and it's also the same with artists and albums in general.
like basically i think the problem boils down to how there's no way to label my taste. like there's no key words or phrases for me to use to tell people or search engines what i'm looking for.
my best bet is just showing people the songs i like, and seeing if they can hear some kind of pattern, and can give me recs based on that. this is what i do with my sister, cause she's also kinda the same, having an inconsistent and indefinable taste in music, and the things we like overlap a little so i tend to get good recs from her, but that's obviously also dependent on her being able to find new songs, which doesn't happen a lot.
i don't usually have the ability to just ask someone who kinda understands my taste to give me recs, and when i do there's no guarantee they'll even have any, and i wanna find a way to be able to search for new music on my own.
#music recs#song recs#🥔#recently i've tried searching ‘songs that scratch an itch in my brain’ and going through the user-made playlists#but i haven't had any success that way so far.#and whenever i go to a song or artist radio for something#spotify just ends up filling it mostly with a bunch of songs that are already in my library#the daylist at least has new songs i haven't heard before#but it's still rare when i find things i like through it.#i've realized that spotify generated playlists are gonna be a dead end most of the time.#my discover weekly is where i end up finding the most new stuff i like but it's still not a lot.#music
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every time i find myself getting indignant at someone saying shit like "kids these days are stupid and don't know anything about movies made before they were born" i have to remind myself that i am routinely surprised by movies made in the late 60s being in color
#this has happened three times that i can remember#legitimately thought rosemary's baby was in black and white right up until i watched it for the first time. no idea why#(i got it from my college library dw i'd never spend money on anything by that director as long as he's still alive)#also was surprised that wait until dark (1967) was in color. i just thought it wouldn't be.#and recently i decided to watch all the best picture nominees from 1967 because i was rereading pictures at a revolution#(except for doctor dolittle i don't think i needed to watch that)#and maybe it's because the photos in the book were all in black and white but i was surprised Again when i got to the last one#which was guess who's coming to dinner (the one i was least familiar with beforehand)#and it was in color.#i blame night of the living dead for making me think this way even though i knew full well there were plenty of color films pre-1970#it was literally just budgetary reasons. also psycho being in black and white made me think that was the default for longer than it was#however i was less surprised by the earlier hitchcock films i watched being in color even though they went as far back as 1948#so idk why i had that expectation for only certain movies
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i ❤️ the library
#hi hello not dead#just been an insane couple months#moved out of my parents’ house#new job#hurt myself Again#so i’m on crutches and in pain and frustrated#but at least i got two new books from the library today :D#and i made good progress on my fics this year#will share more about that in the next few days tho
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