#m james bond

[lithiumseven]

Part II, Part I

[thestarwarslesbian]

Bond: You want me to make out with Q for the mission?

M: No

Bond: *shakes his head as he walks over to Q* I can’t believe you are making me do this

M: I’m really not

Q: shut up and let him speak

[headcanonthings]

Bond: If you don’t let me go on this mission I will be such a pain in your ass- M: You’re already a pain in my ass Bond: I feel like we both know I can get worse

[fandomlife-confessions]

[archerygun]

James Bond movie concept

James Bond. Unsurprisingly, another one of my hate obsessions. I know an absolutely unreal amount of Bond trivia for someone who hates the films. But I’ve formed a sort of Stockholm Syndrome about them, and part of that revolves around my obsession with how I’d make them good (or just personally appealing to me as a piece of cinema).

LET’S GO.

So, back in the 60s-maybe 70s if we’re pushing it (because I know Roger Moore is an icon - HE NAMED GEORGE LAZENBY AS A TOP THREE BOND, LOOK, I GIVE HIM MY RESPECT FOR THAT AT LEAST), James Bond is called to tackle another villain who’s built a mysterious machine believed to be a superweapon MI6 isn’t totally sure about yet. A mixture of recon and destruction.

Bond fights the villain, he’s about to win, but Villain (nameless cos I’m lazy) activates the machine. 007 is officially pronounced missing.

Flash forward to the modern day.

A man turns up at MI6 headquarters, demanding to see M. He says he has important information for him, and claims to be ‘007’ - a sign that definitely doesn’t belong to him. They look the man up, probably to send him home, but they can’t find a single thing about him ANYWHERE.

The documents on Bond, and what he was fighting against, have all been super duper sealed, and everyone in his MI6 died and took the knowledge with them. He’s been wiped from history, pretty much. We’re a good nation at hiding things. So while MI6 work to unseal old documents, they reluctantly assign Bond to the mission of taking down Villain, who has also mysteriously reappeared and is being a massive Pain In The Arse.

(The machine in question somehow freezes the two in stasis; the level of threat posed to the world and villain’s motivation? You decide.)

Cue average time-travel comedy beats (mostly contributed by my friend who I bounced this idea off of).

“Wow, Q! You’ve really outdone yourself! What is this astonishing machine!?”

“Bond, this is an iPhone.”

Can:

Kill anyone within a mile radius

Speak several languages fluently

Fiddle with specialised equipment

Fly a jetpack

Can’t:

Coffee machine

“You’re telling me you disarmed a nuclear rocket and you need help because you changed your phone’s language to Japanese and can’t change it back.”

“THE ROCKET DIDN’T HAVE TOUCH-SCREEN.”

Bond still operates on what was considered ‘inconspicuous’ in 1969 and shows up to an undercover op in full florals and flares. “You said it was a party. I’m just trying to blend in!”

M is going to be losing her mind. Q might die of frustration. It would be glorious. Lean into the weird family dynamic MI6 has in older Bond movies. Hell, no romance. Just 2 hours of “What do you mean, ‘CPR’?”

[worshipcircle01]

UPDATE: THE DECISION

Deciding is doing what's necessary

[foemancer]

something something her agent her son her loyal attack dog

[snoweylily]

skyfall x dolce

or, in other words, emotionally-repressed blond serial killers and their curly dark haired sarcastic bitch boyfriends surrounded by paintings with far too many metaphors

[philtstone]

ooooh i was wrong i was wrong chief vick and shawn arent m and james bond. theyre athena and odysseus

[lithiumseven]

Part I, Part II

[pedroam-bang]

No Time To Die (2021)

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

The tribute to the Bond franchise might just be in memoriam because with Amazon at the helm now, it might as well be dead and buried.

[merrysithmas]

the more chatgpt combs the idiots of humanity into its fetid drainpipe and scrapes for the diamonds of human creativity like some kind of a grotesque Gollum, the more i think of Bond's line to Q in Skyfall in the National Gallery

"-Or not pulled."

and it's like yeah, true, one day people aren't going to have practical experience in almost anything

but like secondly, this is why a film about Q would be so relevant today. they didn't follow through on the theme from Skyfall with the rest of the Craig Bond films, but going off their convo in the National Gallery the inevitability of time occurred: Q essentially "replaced" Bond (Bond died in NTTD), and the younger generation of Britain, represented by Q, took over without its stalwart steward Bond to mind the gates. The new ideas and changing world that Bond (and Dench's M) were rueful about took precedence.

Now we have monsters made of the tech that was supposed to save us and bring equity - because tech isn't a pure medium. It is made by imperfect men and thus is imperfect.

It would be gratifying in today's world of shitty generative AI, predatory online monitoring, disinformation, deepfake video and audio, unchecked data collection by websites and apps, unrelenting ads, subscriptions, and international election interference - that someone like Q would reflect on the unfurling of his generation's (ours) hopes and dreams.

He would be a great modern Agent protagonist to go up against toxic tech and the unjust surveillance that goes both unaddressed and used with flagrant abandon by governments, corporations, and individuals towards the generation population.

And that, of course, would tie back into his fateful convo with Bond and the humility Q gained as he got older and reflected on the world - and how to protect people, ironically by resurrecting concepts from the derided Old World to save the New.

[charlottenewtons]

THINK ON YOUR SINS.

The World is Not Enough (1999) // Skyfall (2012)

[spockvarietyhour]

Licence to Kill (1989)

[worshipcircle01]

UPDATE: THE DECISION

Among spies, trust is a weakness