#lunch break posting

[alfhildr-the-word-weaver]

Today on "tumblr ads that I wish were rebloggable":

I'm not wildly fond of tumblr ads promoting weight loss all willy-nilly, but the theming of this one combined with the fact that I saw it on a blog that I first followed for Dracula Daily posting has me losing it. Lose weight how, pray tell, dear tumblr ad? Lose blood weight? Because someone's drinking it? Am I going to be running through Transylvania because there's a vampire chasing me?

[ontologicalmoki]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: Wayne Family Adventures (Webcomic) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne Characters: Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake Additional Tags: batfam, bat-themed office supplies, good dad Bruce Wayne, Good Parent Bruce Wayne, Coffee Lover Tim Drake, Tim is growing and learning and healthy Summary:

Why is it that Bruce is always reading printed dossiers when he has this fancy computer with 9 monitors? Who has time to print these out?

[mister-warmth]

y'know when you see two characters and can immediately tell one of them is power-bottoming the other?

[vinos-scum]

If it hasn't already been done someone should make a math rock x breakcore mashup album.

[mithrasisgay]

I'm playing gw2 again actually. And I'll stick around bc I uninstalled Sims for it lol

[calamitys-child]

What's everyone's favourite flowers that aren't like. The normal ones. Like everyone's a fan of roses and sunflowers what's a more niche one. One you don't get in gift sets. Mine's sweet peas

[kathaynesart]

The @tmntaucompetition is no place for a tiny tot to be left alone, especially with all these rowdy teens running amok. My heart just broke when I saw little Kid Leo crying, @angelpuns and @red-rover-au, and I knew Replica Leo's would too. Problem is they're probably going to be searching for a while cuz Replica Leo is looking for other unsupervised children. Oops.

This is in response to these couple of threads I've seen going around: COMIC 1 - COMIC 2 - COMIC 3 - COMIC 4 - COMIC 5

You kids need to all calm down!

[l3viat8an]

Lucifer is just so in love and obsessed with you. not in a scary way or anything- but in a very soft way, just melting completely whenever the simplest, everyday things remind him of his little lamb you.

it can be anything, really, maybe he sees your favorite pastry in a bakery or something in a shop window he thinks you’d like or maybe he simply passes somebody in the street that has the same hair color as you.

and before he can stop himself, Lucifer is reaching into his pocket for his phone to call you a soft little smile on his face. even if he can only hear your voice for a few seconds it’ll make his day so much better <3

[trainforanother1000years]

[r-aindr0p]

Mr. Flamme never works (unpaid) overtime

He might reconsider

[holographic-mars]

Losers flirting

[somegrumpynerd]

Happy birthday to my favourite tragic twins!! (Nobody tell Blue they ruined the cake he got them, this is why we can't have nice things)

[palmettios]

at the end of the day, andrew and neil were just two people who matched each other’s freak and i think that’s beautiful

[purple-obsidian]

mine or yours (18+, jason todd x fem reader) wc 1.1k

⭓ this post contains sexual content and is not suitable for minors.

This is wrong. You’re being unsafe. You know this. You barely know this man, and yet, you accepted his offer to help you move. It wasn’t even into a new building, you were just switching units with the old man you’ve befriended since living here, since you had an apartment on the first floor. The crappy apartment building you live in always has issues with the elevator, and Mr. Espinosa recently started using a walker. You were just doing the right thing, letting the senior citizen switch with you so he could have the more accessible unit. And so was Jason- just doing the right thing, helping his new neighbor move when he saw you struggling with carrying heavy boxes up and down several flights of stairs.

Touched behind the reason for your move, he cleared his whole Saturday to not only help you move in, but help the old man settle in as well. Seeing your new neighbor lift such heavy boxes and bulky pieces of furniture with ease was something you didn’t expect to affect you so much. But watching him work had your heart beating fast, and the giant of a man caught you staring at his strong arms more times than you’re comfortable admitting.

“Let me buy you some pizza, it’s the least I can do.” You had offered at the end of the day, both of you tired from the hard word you put in.

“I like pizza.” He said cooly, leaning against your doorframe and grinning at you. The way he casually wiped the sweat from his brow made your throat feel tight.

A nervous smile spread across your face, as you reach in your pocket for your phone. “Great! I’ll order some for delivery. You like pepperoni?”

That was several hours ago. Now, it’s almost midnight, and your new neighbor has you bent over your couch, large hands gripping your hips, clothes discarded in a pile on the floor, him rearranging your guts as an old sitcom rerun plays on your TV, which is stacked precariously atop several unpacked boxes.

“That’s it… you like that, don’t you? I can feel you clenching, baby, you gunna cum?” He asks, breathless and smiling, a bead of sweat running down his forehead.

You try desperately to conceal the lewd noises coming from your mouth. His pace is unwavering, tantilizing, making your toes curl and your fists clench at how delicious the friction feels against your inner walls. You don’t trust yourself to try and speak, so you just nod, looking back at him with a completely fucked-out look on your face.

Jason chuckles, and reaches forward to grasp the back of your neck with his hand. The feeling of his calloused skin gripping you there feels so dominating, it elicits a low whimper from your parted lips, unable to hold it together while your pleasure builds to an intolerable level. “Good girl. Good fucking girl.” He hisses through gritted teeth.

His praise is the final push you need. Your pleasure peaks as his hips thrust into yours, spilling over and flooding your body with warm tingles that radiate down your legs. You’re sore from all the work you’ve done today, trekking up and down 4 flights of stairs more times than you can count. Your exhaustion seems to intensify your orgasm, making you shake and shudder, more of your slick leaking out around Jason’s cock when he finally slows his pace.

“Yes… fuck yes. You’re something else, baby.” His possessive grip on your neck releases, letting both hands wander down to caress your ass gently, watching you twitch and spasm around him from the intensity of what he just did to you. His eyes wander to where your bodies meet, and his cock throbs painfully when he sees the abundance of wetness dripping from your swollen cunt.

You struggle to keep yourself from going limp. It feels like someone filled your brain with warm honey, all coherent thoughts have disappeared, replaced with feelings of euphoria, given to you by a stranger.

Jason pulls out of you, but keeps his hands firmly on your waist to guide you so you’re laying down on your back, head resting against the arm of your old grey couch he helped you carry in just hours earlier.

“I… that… you…” You stammer out a few words, unsure of what you’re even trying to say anymore.

“Ha, yeah, me too, ma.” Jason kneels on the couch, leaning over you and lowering his head so he can place a few warm kisses over your chest. “But I’m not done.”

Reflexively, your hands go to his head, running your fingers through his hair as you revel in the feeling of his lips against your skin. His warm mouth dances over your breasts, kissing and licking at your nipple languidly, taking his time and savoring this moment.

“M’tired, Jason, so tired.” You finally mutter when your brain fog starts to clear.

“Don’t worry. All you gotta do is lay there and look pretty. I’ll handle the rest.” His voice rumbles deep in his chest, giving you a fluttering feeling in the pit of your stomach.

“But-“

“Oh, and you can call me Jay, if you like.”

“Jay,” you let out a sigh, “You gotta be tired too, why don’t we- mmmphhh!”

Your eyes were fluttering shut, which is how you missed when he shifted lower to position his face between your legs. His eager tongue laps at your aching cunt, soothing the soreness there, savoring the taste of your arousal before focusing his attention on your clit. His hands snake up under your thighs and around your hips, hiking you up effortlessly to give himself better access, holding you mostly still but not too firm. He’s being gentle. Far more gentle than you would expect from someone like him.

“J-jay…” You look down at him, his dark hair disheveled, cheeks flushed, piercing green eyes staring back up at you.

“Hmm?” He doesn’t pull his mouth away to answer you. His greedy lips are planted around your sensitive nub, licking at it as he creates just a little bit of suction. You want to squeeze your legs shut when the vibration of his hum tickles you. He’s already coaxed two orgasms from you, making you even more sensitive to his attention.

“You should… it’s getting… shit…” How the fuck are you supposed to concentrate when he’s looking at you like that? “W-we should go to bed.” Your fingernails graze his scalp gently.

“Mmm.” He moans in agreement, finally pulling his lips away from your core. “I guess we could continue this in bed.”

That isn’t exactly what you meant. But for some reason, you don’t have it in your heart to correct him.

“So…” He untangles himself from your legs, sitting down on the couch and rubbing his hand up and down your bare calf. His demeanor is so casual, as if he didn’t just completely rock your world. An excited grin appears on his rugged features as he asks, “Mine or yours?”

⭓ masterlist ⭓

[mithrasisgay]

GIRL I ORDERED THESE TWO HOURS AGO

ADVERTISE ME SOMETHING I DIDN'T ALREADY PURCHASE

YOURE BAD AT CAPITALISM

[deanmarywinchester]

i like this substack article I found while googling jamie loftus’s book on hotdogs. it’s like a poem on the subject of “you can do whatever you want forever” to me