#lucifer n sam winchester

[sounknownvoid]

sam is afraid of lucifer - but not just for reasons we think

this is another spn random too late at night that occurred to me today: sam is afraid of lucifer - d-uh! : sam has seen lucifers true face, hes tortured him in hell for 180 years, manipulated him his entire life in order to posess him etc,etc.... so yeah d-uh ofc hes scared!.... but theres this horrifying thought thats occurred to me just falling asleep (yeh apparently in that fuzzy place before sleep i head towards spn - ah spn is my true love!)... those might not be the only reasons...

If anyone been in a toxic relationship or abusive situation or coercive situation they might have a better insight - the thing about being in those situations is - you *know* how bad that person is, you *know* how abusive they are, you *know* they're toxic to you and for you and you should not be there...but you know what the most evil,degrading absolute horror of a situation like that is? - being convinced, against your better judgement, your logic to stay - having your own "goodness" turned against you to manipulate you into staying - your compassion and heart and empathy being turned against you into staying - so they can abuse you more, with your seeming "consent" - making you an accomplice in your own murder n rape.... and making you a contemptible, pathetic person in your own eyes cos its making you complicit in your own violations - of your body,mind, heart and spirit... the devil is not evil for what he does to you - its because of what he gets you to do, to yourself, fully aware - the slippery rope, the seduction into it...

Even if you do survive - you will never again trust your own judgement or have faith in yourself or any self-worth or confidence ...let alone heal, help others and have compassion and retain empathy for others...

Now multiply this by a 100, a 1000...coz what i described was a human domestic abuse situation - can you imagine what lucifer could have done to sam?.... no, its not the rapes and the tortures and the hooks and eye-gouging....what samd be afraid of lucifer for the most was how easy itd be for sam to slip back into that mode of being "lucifers b*ch" all while thinking ge deserves it . ... its the "conditioning" of sam that lucifer is capable of/has shown/has done to sam that sam has to fight against every single day....

all leading to even more feelings of self-doubt, worthlessness,insecurity,self-loathing "unclean"-ness.... ie, its what sam becomes when in proximity to lucifer that hed be afraid of most i reckon...

And the thing that gets me absolutely frothing at the mouth about spn-writers, is - sam is repeatedly having to confront and rebuild himself as lucifer is brought back over n over again right in sams face... the absolute exhaustion on having to dig himself out of that headspace all over again - all while terrified that maybe this time, he cant dig himself out, maybe this time he just. Cant. ... leaving sam to think maybe he really didnt make it out of hell after all...

(& yet sammy does have that strength to rebuild himself and even has enough compassion left over to help nick and lucifers kid - my absolute fucken king sammy!)

[the-avengers-not-the-nazis]

Privacy privilege

Summary: Dean had started to invade your privacy more often after a hunt

Word count: 0.8k

A/n: I had some fun writing protective Dean in this one

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The last hunt was too much of a close call for Dean. 

It’s been a simple vampire case, a in and out kind of deal. But, when you slipped up a little and were almost a vamps blood bag, he felt a need to protect you immediately afterwards. The thought of you ending up dead while on a hunt with him caused an itch in the back of his brain. Something he needed to get rid of or at least settle down. 

So, he began to follow you around.

It started out simple enough, sitting on the same booth as you at a restaurant, watching you through the rear view mirror on a long drive. And, recently making you share the same bed as he did. The feeling of your body safely tucked against his calmed him. 

But, then the more hunts you went the more worried he got. 

The feeling that something would happen to you if he wasn’t around caused him to panic and start to hang around you more than ever. 

What started as a simple watching you from the corner of his eye quickly turning into needing to be right next to you 24/7. He’d follow you around like a lost puppy, eyes darting around to find any potential danger. 

You’d spoken to Sam about Deans behavior, and he had agreed that it was new and different than what he normally is. But, according to Sam, Dean is naturally a protector at heart. Probably coming from being the oldest and having to take care of his little brother all the time. 

But, still, you appreciated Dean trying to protect you, but he had started to invade you privacy. 

Often not leaving you alone when you’d really need to be. Kinda like right now. You were taking a shower in the motels bathroom, the water cascading down your body when Deans humming kept on bringing you out of your peaceful state. 

You didn’t really know when he entered the bathroom, but when he did you know it was no use in trying to kick him out. He sat patiently on the toilet, the lid down so that he wouldn’t ache from sitting in the same spot for twenty minutes. 

A small magazine rested in his hands, the sound of the turning papers mixing with his humming caused you to finally stick your head past the shower curtain. 

“Dean.” You called, in the nicest voice you could muster. Slowly growing tired of his protective attitude. 

“Yes, princess?” He asked, the magazine he’d been reading tossed onto the counter as he focused solely in you.  

Pasting a quick smile on your face, you pulled the curtain closer to your naked body. “Could I have just a couple minutes to myself in here?”

Dean furrowed his brows. “Why?”

“Because, it’s kinda weird how I’m naked in here while your out there fully clothed and humming a rock song.” You stated, hoping that telling him you were slightly uncomfortable with the situation would be enough for him to leave the bathroom. 

“Would you like me to join you then, so you’d feel less weird about this?” He asked, standing from the toilet seat and making his way towards you, his flannel quickly coming off and into the piles of clothes you’d already made. 

“No! No, Dean.” You started to shout, more than likely grabbing both your neighbors and Sam’s attention whilst doing so. “Put the flannel back on and get out!”

“Why?” He asked confused. “I’d have my back turned the entire time, or if you want I could even help you shower-“

Dean stopped talking when a soft but wet object connected with his face. “Did- did you throw a loofah at me?”

“Yes, and I’ll throw something harder next time if you don’t get out of here!” Your face was hot, and not just from the boiling shower you were taking but because Dean freaking Winchester was trying to hope in the shower with you like it was a normal thing. 

He held up his hands, reluctantly making his way to the bathroom door. “Look I get that it’s weird, but it’ll help protect you.”

“Dean, I’m not going to die in the freaking shower.”

“Who knows, it’s a strange world, but I’ll be here if it happens and I’ll be able to-“ His eyes widened as you made an attempt to throw your soap bar at him, missing him by a hair and sending him running out of the bathroom. 

A breathy laugh came from one of the beds, facing the noise he saw his brother with newspaper articles and his computer laid out in front of him. “I told you she would not have appreciated you going in there.” Sam told his older brother, a smug smile playing in his lips as he watched Dean taking a seat at the small table. 

“Shut up.” He told him, now waiting for you to leave the bathroom so that he could be glued to your hip once more. “She’s gonna thank me one day.”

“Yeah, but definitely not any time soon.”

[frankieburieshisdead]

⛧𝔖𝔞𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔫𝔠𝔥𝔢𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔵 𝔐𝔞𝔩𝔢 ℜ𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔯⛧

CW: NSFW, brief dubcon, angst

It was only two days. That was the agreement. That's how much you got of Sam Winchester. Two days and three nights and then he would pack up his life into his brother's shitty little flat-back impala and you would never see him again.

Until of course you saw him again.

You had friends over when he called. Squeezing past the group of 20 somethings wolf whistling at you as you went to pick up the landline meant that you were giggling when you picked up. You had set his number to a specific ring. It was the dial tone version of "Spooky boy like you" by Dusty Springfield. All your friends knew about Sam 'Sammy' Winchester, who had exorcised a cruel version of your reflection from your vanity mirror and then hadn't left your room for the rest of the weekend.

"Hey!" You answered, almost too excited as the box wine you had been drinking all night spurred on your mood.

"Hey," his voice was rough, like he'd used it up. "I'm in town, can I come over?"

You sobered quickly. "What's wrong?"

"I, um," you twisted the cord of the phone tightly between your two fingers. "Can I come over?" He asked again, desperate.

"Yes."

It took a bit of cajoling to get your company out, but you had the place mostly cleaned out by the time your doorman rang up to let you know a tall man with long brown hair was waiting downstairs for you.

He looked tired. His body hunched downwards, shoulders drooping. He looked good with the 5 o'clock shadow he was sporting.

Oh sweetheart, you wanted to say, what happened?

Instead you said: "come in."

He tipped forward, nuzzling into your neck. There was a wet stripe up your jaw and behind the shell of your ear. "Sam," you muttered under your breath, sure there was something more important to talk about. Hard to remember when the best sex of your life was rubbing his thigh up against your crotch. His arms circled your slim biceps, squeezing, almost shy of painful as he lifted you up onto your kitchen counter.

Hands unbuckling and unwinding, you let this moose of a man strip you on your kitchen counter. There was a second there that you both took to breathe, foreheads pressed together as his small way of asking "is this okay?" You nodded against his mouth and pulled his body flush against yours.

He prepped you like a man in front of his last meal. Quick and yet savoring. Rough but so attentive you had begun to squeal by the end of it. When he was inside you, there wasn't a second to breathe before he was hauling you on top, using the leverage of the flat mattress and his grip on your waist to bounce you like a rag doll. It wasn't at all like you remembered. He was too fast, jack rabbiting into you and hitting all the wrong spots. You had begun to realize the cruel way his fingers pressed into your lower back, digging and bruising. His sweet face was twisted up into a snarl and he frowned like he was waiting to get it over with.

You weren't having fun anymore.

"Sam stop!" You put your hands over his and squeezed. "You're hurting me!"

He immediately stilled, back still arched as you felt his stuttering heart in your abdomen.

"What?" He blinked up at you, almost out of a daze.

"You're hurting me." You said in a smaller voice.

Something snapped then. Sam's eyes crooning into a dip, his lip turning white from the way he was biting into it.

"I am?" He sounded devastated, truly and honestly devastated. His grip was loose, still around you but shaking. You should have stopped him the moment you realized something was wrong. It was too late now, he was still hard and wanting inside you and you weren't enough of a good person to kick him out. Well, in for a penny, in for a pound.

"Okay, were okay baby. Just a little slower yeah?" You began to grind your hips downwards, letting the tip of his cock kiss something deep inside you. His eyes rolled back and you felt a full body shiver underneath you.

You fell forward when he bucked into you, almost like he couldn't help but crawl deeper. You had both arms on either side of his head, his mouth panting into yours. "Press here, like that." You put his hand on the bottom of your abdomen, pressing his fingers into the gap between his dick and your happy place. You screamed when you came, gripping onto Sam's shaggy cut as you're back arched. You were never sure if it was the hair pulling, the scream, or the the way you tightened up like a corkscrew that set him off but suddenly there was a silky feeling dripping out of you and Sam was sobbing into your shoulder.

"Oh baby you're okay." You soothed where you had been pulling at his roots. You were still out of breath, still impossibly full. "We're good, I'm here." He had both arms pressing you into his chest, keeping your head over his shoulder so you couldn't see his face. You had to force your way up, pulling out of his hold to look at the bloodshot look he was trying to hide into the pillow.

"Lets get some sleep. We'll talk about it in the morning." You used what little strength you had to flip the two of you over, in part so Sam was lying over you like a heated blanket and also so the threat of the ever soggier bed sheet was further away.

"Okay." His voice was raspy but sweet. You were glad to have Sam Winchester for one more weekend.

[ninii-winchester]

Deepest Desire

Pairing : Dean Winchester X Reader

Word count : 2k

Warnings : angst, heartbreak, feelings of betrayal, alcohol, strong language, spoilers. Unedited.

A/n : This is a Supernatural x Lucifer crossover fic. I’ve only ever watched a few episodes of Lucifer. This is a work of fiction, I don’t own Supernatural or Lucifer. They belong to CW and Netlfix respectively.

I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION TO COPY MY WORK, TRANSLATE IT OR POST IT TO ANY OTHER PLATFORM. REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED.

Another day, another hunt. But it was nothing crazy. With Chuck being gone things are as normal as they could be. Y/n's friend had called in for help and she was happy to go. On her way back to the Bunker, her car stopped abruptly and wouldn't start. She slammed her hand on the steering wheel before calling Dean, filling him in on the situation.

"If only you'd let me take baby I would've been home by now." She groaned over the phone and she heard him laugh on the other side.

"My bad, sweetheart. You can take it next time." He chuckled before he added, "I'll be in an hour tops okay? Get some place safe."

"Yeah I see a bar its uh.. 'the tipsy tavern' I'll be there."

She hung up the phone and made her way towards the bar. It wasn't too far from where her car stopped, just a walking distance. She went inside and it was, well, typically how a bar is. She scanned the place thoroughly, her eyes landing on a woman with blond hair. She seemed troubled. She kept looking over her shoulder, continuously fidgeting with her hands.

Y/n walked up to her and slid in the stool beside her. The woman slightly jumped at the action and it didn't go unnoticed by her.

"Hey are you okay?" Y/n asked her, the woman eyed her cautiously before nodding.

"I'm fine." She replied curtly.

"Are you sure? You seem distressed." Y/n pressed hoping she could help somehow. The woman sighed, looking at her.

"You’d think I’m crazy."

"Try me." Y/n said mentally scoffing, what could this woman tell her that would be more unbelievable than what she deals with on a daily basis.

"I'm not from here."

"So you're a foreigner, are you lost?" Y/n questioned.

"No you don't understand." The woman seemed frustrated. "My name is Chloe Decker, I'm a detective." She said and Y/n nodded, urging her to continue. "I'm from LA. But this isn't my world." Chloe didn't know what it was about the woman infront of her that made her want to trust her.

"Your world?" Before Chloe could answer a man in a black suit takes a seat on the side side of Chloe.

"Well hello there. Made a new friend, did we detective?" The man spoke in a British accent.

"This is uh.." Chloe trailed off not knowing her name so Y/n quickly told her name. "This is Y/n." The man opened his mouth to say something but Y/n interrupted him.

"What do you mean this isn't your world?" She questioned.

"Well you see darlin' we were on a case, an then an explosion went off and we were here. I can feel the change in the cosmic energy around us." The man spoke.

"How do you feel the cosmic energies?" Y/n questioned the man.

"My bad lady, I didn't introduce myself. I'm Lucifer Morningstar." He said with a smooth voice.

"You're Lucifer? Like the devil Lucifer?" She questioned.

"Yes." He replied. "The devil Lucifer."

"That can't be." She said mostly to herself.

"I know it sounds implausible but-"

"You're dead. We killed you this isn't possible. You're not Lucifer. You can't be." She whisper yelled at the man who claimed to be Lucifer.

Chloe looked back and forth between Lucifer, the smirk on his face was long gone and it was morphed into a serious expression,

"Can we rewind back to when she said we killed you'." He said looking at Chloe who seemed even more troubled. "Who even are you?"

"God, this day couldn't get any worse." Y/n sighed. The trio had now shifted to a table for four. Chloe sat beside Lucifer and Y/n infront of him. She had foregone the glass and was now directly drinking from the bottle of whiskey. She needed as much as alcohol she could to process this.

"So, you're telling me, you hunt monsters and Lucifer of this universe was locked in a cage in Hell and then your..boyfriend's brother let him out and he wreaked havoc so you pushed him back inside and later killed him when he came back?" Chloe asked tasting the words on her mouth because it sounds absurd when said out loud.

"I know it sounds weird when you put it like that but yeah." Y/n said with humorless chuckle. "You weren't locked?" She asked Lucifer.

"No, Father just kicked me out from Heaven, I ruled Hell for a while but then I got bored so I came to Earth and I'm detective's partner now."

"Wow, so you're not a dick like he was. Our universe's Lucifer should've learned a thing or two from you." She scoffed. "Anyways, so if you have your mojo you can't teleport yourself back to your universe?"

"Mojo?" Chloe questioned.

"His powers." Y/n clarified and the former nodded.

"You I haven't actually tried if they're working." Lucifer admitted.

"Bit slow, aren't you?" Y/n sassed Chloe snorted, she found it amusing, this woman is sassing the devil himself.

"You seem so unbothered it's like it's just another Tuesday for you." Chloe commented and Y/n muttered a small 'tell me about it'. Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she answered call the call. It was Dean.

"Hey I'm almost here. I saw your car and I'm heading to the bar now." He said.

"Alright cool. See you soon." She said hanging up. She looked at the couple infront of her. "Dean's here, I'll ask him if we can help you somehow."

"Thank you so much, Y/n." Chloe said gratefully smiling at her. The former nodded and mumbled a quick, 'I'll be back' before leaving the bar.

She waited a few minutes before she saw the black Impala pulling up. She watched her boyfriend get out the car and she made her way towards him.

"Hey gorgeous." He cupped her cheeks and pulled her in for a kiss. "I could've come get you inside. You didn't have to wait outside." He said against her lips. She pulled away and bit her lip. Dean groaned as he recognised her expression.

~~~

"So you're telling me this Lucifer is British." Dean said looking at his girlfriend incredulously. The two of them had went inside and Y/n took her previous seat while Dean took one beside her.

"That's all you gathered from what I've told you?" Y/n asked her boyfriend and he shurgged. "Anyways, they need our help and i think we should help him."

"Really? You want to help the dick that possessed Sam and almost killed all of us twice?" Dean snapped. Lucifer seemed offended but he didn't comment.

"De, he's not him. That asshole is dead." Y/n added. Dean rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair, his gaze scrutinising Lucifer. He then looked at Chloe who seemed helpless and then at his girlfriend who was sporting a pout.

"Fine." Dean sighed. "We'll help, but that doesn't mean I trust you." He warned the devil who raised his hands in surrender.

"Lucifer why don't you see if your mojo works in this universe as well?" Y/n suggested. Lucifer closed his eyes doing God knows what.

"Woah woah stop." Dean said to Lucifer, then turned to Y/n, "What if he's as juiced up as the one we encountered and blows up the place?"

"You're right, I guess." Chloe chimed in and turned to her partner, "why don't you do the thing?" She said to him and he smirked, it's clearly something he loves doing.

"The thing?" Y/n questioned.

"It's nothing harmful. I promise." Chloe replied.

"Y/n dear." Lucifer calls her and she looks at him, he leans a bit towards her making Dean's protective side take over.

"Hey back off." Dean growled but Chloe put a hand over his arm.

"Its okay." She reassured him.

"Tell me Y/n, what is it that you truly desire?" Lucifer asked but his smirk dropped.

"Am I supposed to feel anything or should I just tell you?" She questions.

"This usually works." Lucifer says. "I think I don't have my powers here."

"What were you even trying to do?" Dean questions.

"He can read into people's heart, find their deepest darkest desires." Chloe answers. "Things that you never tell anyone."

"Well maybe it didn't work because I don't have a secret desire." Y/n commented making Lucifer and Chloe look at her in disbelief.

"Everyone has something they desire." He retorted. "Things they never tell anyone."

"I agree but mine isn't hidden or a big secret, for me its Dean." She shrugged. "My deepest desire is to have a normal life with him a house, family, kids, the whole nine yards." She spoke as if it wasn't a big deal and Dean swore he felt himself fall for her all over again. He pecked her temple and Chloe gushed at them.

"Interesting." Lucifer commented.

"If you can feel the cosmic energy around here I'm sure you have your powers. Why don't you try it on Dean?" Y/n suggested.

"I think she's right." Chloe added.

Lucifer faced Dean and the latter shifted a bit under his observing gaze. "Tell me Dean, what is it that you truly desire?" He questioned the Winchester and Y/n watched in anticipation awaiting his answer. A few seconds passed before he answered and nothing could've prepared her for Dean's answer.

"Amara." That one was enough for Y/n's world to come crashing down on her. She felt herself tear up but she cleared her throat before speaking.

"Well at least your still have your powers." Chloe could hear the heartbreak in her voice and gave her a sympathetic look. Lucifer, who found this situation amusing, asked,

"Who's Amara?" Dean sucked in a sharp breath, glaring at the man in front of him, who just smirked in return. What could you expect from him, he's the Devil after all.

"Your Aunt." Y/n snapped unintentionally.

"Why, must you be this childish?" He asked, feeling offended.

"No literally. Amara is God's sister, the darkness. She was here a while back before we locked her up." Y/n explained her voice void of any emotion.

"I've never heard of her. She didn't exist in my universe." Lucifer replied. He pinched the bridge of his nose before adding, "one thing I've realised you lot's universe is way fucked than ours."

"I'll call Sam and ask if we know a way to open a portal to another universe. Excuse me." Y/n said getting up from her chair and walking out the bar. Dean immediately trailing behind her.

"Baby, Y/n." He called out for her but she didn't stop. She let tears fall free now that she wasn't in front of a crowd. "Sweetheart listen to me." He caught up with and turned her to look at him. He hated seeing her cry and hated it even more when he was the reason for her tears. "I can explain, please just..-"

"What's there to explain, Dean?" She cried. She harshly wipes her tears. "Do you want to add salt to wound, tell me it's pitiful that you don't want me as much as I want you?" She let out a sarcastic laugh. "You know what I realised?" She asked rhetorically. "It's always something before me, your car, Sam, Amara, hunting. I'm probably the last thing you need in your life." The moment she said that Dean felt like someone had shot him in the heart.

"No baby, don't say that." Dean begged holding her close. "It's not true. I want you more than anything in this entire world." She scoffed before pulling away from him.

"I need to call Sam. Even if he's been harmless until now, we don't need another Lucifer prancing around our world." She put some distance between them before calling Sam.

"Harmless, my ass." Dean muttered as he kicked the dirt on the road.

He needed to make this right, he wouldn't be able to live if he ever lost her and he needs her to know that. He has to make it right and he will be damned if he didn't.

Part 2

[devilsmoth]

Dead Rising (TFW x reader, Lucifer x reader?????)

Authors Note: I know this isn't the best thing I've ever written, but this is more just writing practice for me :] trying to get back into the swing of writing. Either way, I hope you enjoy it ! If not then I'm sorry ;w;

Warnings: Nothing, really. Language?

Pairing: I didn't write one in mind, though the way I ended up writing Lucifer I suppose it could be Lucifer x y/n if I make a sequel to this?

Prompt: "I thought you were dead!" / "Wow! The miracle of life!", "Just wishful thinking."

Words: 1,741

It was....weird. Death was weird, but then again it'd also be weird if it wasn't weird? Some sort of weird paradox. A weirdadox, if you will.

One moment, you were there, ready to fight alongside team Free Will, and then next you were just....gone? What was weird was that there wasn't even any pain, or if there was you certainly don't remember it. You've flirted with the concept of death many times before, all of them filled with unbearable pain and slight panic, but you've never actually died.

You weren't sure what happened, but there was no reaper to meet you, nobody to guide you to the other side. Dean and Sam were too busy fighting some stupid group of angels to notice you had died so abruptly. Or, at least you think you died? Question mark?

Your brows furrowed as you took a look at your surroundings, only to see Lucifer standing there with a smug smile on his face, and wiggling his fingers at you in some strange form of a wave. He was quiet, for now at least, instead pointing to something on the ground. Confusion was clear on your face as you followed where he was pointing, only to see your body on the ground.

You looked over yourself, searching for any signs of a wound, anything that would've attributed to your cause of death, but there was....nothing. No blood, no wounds, no gore, nothing. You looked back to Lucifer with a strange gaze, expecting him to explain just what the fuck is going on.

"Now," He begins, hands in front of him, "I bet you're wondering, 'Oh no, what happened, what am I, mehmehmeh,'" Lucifer takes on a high pitched, mocking tone, hands moving side to side as he speaks, "All good questions."

There was a long, silent pause, with him just staring at you.

"Oh, you want me to answer them." Lucifer announces in a bored tone.

"I think that would be the polite thing to do, yeah," You nod in agreement, "Especially since you were the one that killed me, I feel like I'm owed some kind of explanation."

"Huh?" He questions, but whether it's genuine confusion or he's exaggerating himself to mock you, you've no idea, "Dead? Do you see any reapers, y/n?" He asks, arms out as he turns around, as if he was looking for them himself, "You're funny, or maybe just stupid...Either way, no you're not dead."

"Dean!" You hear Sam call, "DEAN GET OVER HERE, NOW!"

Lucifer smiles when he hears the panic in Sam's voice. You turn to look at Sam, only to see him trying to shake you awake, calling your name. Dean comes running over, and checks you for a wound of any kind, and quickly becomes frustrated when he can't find one. Sam and Dean argue with one another for a good minute before they both finally agree on just getting you back to the car and heading back to the bunker as fast as humanly possible.

"Just, let's just get 'em in the car, alright?!" Dean commands, "Did you see what happened?"

"No, no, I-" Sam's words falter when he sees the angry and disappointed look on Dean's face, but he picks your body up easily, "I was fighting off Heaven's bodyguards Dean, just like you were!"

"I told you to keep an eye on 'em! You were the one that wanted them to come!" Dean argues as he opens the door for Sam to put you in the backseat, "I told you they should stay back at the bunker and work on researching, but nooooo-"

"Dean, they're obviously not dead!" Sam argues back in frustration, "So how about we wait to blame me for it, okay?"

Dean just grumbles as he gets into the car. The sight would've made you smile, if you weren't incorporeally separated from your own body, with still no explanation as the what the fuck happened, or what was even going on. Your gaze is back on Lucifer, this time with less confusion and more anger. Were you just here for his fucking amusement, or was he gonna get to talking? You glare at him, already plotting a way to kill him, and as if reading your thoughts, he puts his hands up in surrender.

"Hey, look," Lucifer begins, "I'll return you to your body, just as soon as I can get what I want."

"Oh yeah?" You question, "And what's that? Jack? A new haircut? Maybe a shower-"

"You wound me," He puts a hand over his heart in faux offense, "Don't worry your pretty head about it, alright?"

"So, what?" You question, crossing your arms, "You're just going to leave my body to rot until who fucking knows how long, just to have some leverage? You expect the maggots to avoid my decaying body just because I asked nicely?"

Lucifer just stares at you for a moment, and you swear you see a twinkle of amusement in his eyes. He sighs out heavily, whining in annoyance before he rolls his eyes and looks back to you.

"Fine," He snaps his fingers, and you feel a part of you...spirit? lurch, "There. Happy?"

"..." You look around, wondering what the Hell he did, before looking back at him like he was fucking insane, "What the hell was that?"

"I'll explain on the way, I'm not staying here until the sun rises just chatting with you," He ushers you forward, and you comply, mostly because what else were you gonna do? "Come on, there we go."

He raises his hand to snap his fingers a bit, before a thought crosses his mind, and he squints before looking down at you.

"Uh, hold your breath," Lucifer warns, "Otherwise you'll find out what astral projected spirit-vomit looks like."

You shoot him another crazed look before listening to him, and just as you start to wonder what the hell he was talking about, he snaps his fingers and suddenly you're teleported to his throne room. Ah, that makes sense now, Cas would tell you something similar. You also recall Dean mentioning something about angelic teleportation and constipation as a side effect.

Back at the bunker, Sam and Dean had managed to get you--or, rather, your body--back inside. Sam had set you on a couch nearby so that they could keep an eye on you while they tried to research what was going on with you. It just...didn't make sense. You had a pulse, a weak one, but a pulse nevertheless. There was no wounds, no blood no signs of some kind of spell, no hex bags, nothing. Not even a sign of a struggle. So what gives?

A couple hours had passed in mostly silence, occasionally broken up by one of the brothers chiming in with an idea, and the other shooting it down because you didn't have any of the symptoms. Poor Jack was also confused, but he was still trying his best to help Sam and Dean come up with an answer within the many books of the bunker.

Suddenly, without any hint or warning, you had sat up from the couch. The boys didn't notice you at first, until you had passed behind Sam, and Dean's hunter instincts kicked in. He looked up, and his eyes nearly bulged out of his skull. He kicks his brother to get his attention, and Sam looks up in confusion, only to see what he was looking at and grow even more confused.

"Uh," Sam begins as he grabs your arm to stop you, "Woah, woah, slow down,"

"Yeah," Dean chimes in as you turn around with a raised brow, "What the hell happened to you?"

You simply shrug, "I'm not a fucking oracle, I don't know."

The response nearly gives them whiplash, you never talked like that. Dean's first idea was that you were possessed, and Sam puts a hand out to stop Dean moving to get his gun.

"Okay, okay," He speaks, thinking you're angry, "Do you remember anything?"

"I remember this place sucks," You shrug again, your tone flat and emotionless, "And that there's leftovers in the fridge I'd kill for right now."

"Oookay," Sam speaks cautiously, and the familiar sound of wings can be heard before a familiar presence enters the room, "So, you're okay?"

"I dunno, I guess?" You shrug again, "I could go for some cake right now."

"Okay, what the hell?" Dean chimes in again, "I thought you were dead!"

"Just wishful thinking."

"I feel I have missed something." Castiel announces a bit awkwardly.

"Y/N was dead, but now they're not." Jack explains with a smile.

"Wow! The miracle of life!" You roll your eyes and yank your arm out of Sam's grip, "I'm going to go make me something to eat, since the Brady Bunch is all caught up."

With that, you had left the room, and Castiel watched silently as you left. His eyes squinted for a moment, analyzing you before you disappeared into the kitchen. This was not good news. You were soulless, and given that Sam, Dean, and Jack were all confused as to what happened to you in the first place, Castiel is doubtful that they know who did it to you. The good news is that there's not a whole lot of candidates that could've done it.

A lot of people are dead.

Not that dead is a good thing, but it is in this instance. The bad news, is that really, it's just the one person he's suspicious of, and if it is that person, then there's no way they're returning your soul without something in return. He dreads to think of what Lucifer could want in exchange for your very soul. Oh boy.

"I know what is wrong," Castiel announces as he comes out of his thoughts, realizing Sam and Dean were arguing with each other again.

They both look to the angel, who quietly looks back at them.

Dean rolls his eyes, "Alright, you gonna tell us, sparky?" He shoots Castiel a look, who nods.

"Yes." Castiel takes in a breath, "Y/N is soulless, and given our short pool of candidates to choose from these days, I suspect it to be Lucifer's doing."

Sam and Dean were both quiet for a moment, looking to each other like they were having a silent conversation.

"You can do that?" Jack asks, and Castiel hesitates.

"Your father can, yes."

[sounknownvoid]

All of this...but the most telling for me? The actual cinematography and soft-lighting, over brightness of thpse memories- everytime that's stule been used - it's been used to indicate something made up or not real in spn (tall tales,changing channels) ...

and also? - that whole season, there's cases about escaping into your head or things believed that are not true ie that looney-tunes episode n sam says he knows what it's like to stay in your head coz it's safer... John's dad turning up n the boys learning that what John believed to be a fundamental truth of his life that shaped him (father abandoned them) wasn't true ....dean thinking he'd been the one to leave cas behind wasn't true....Benny believing things about his "true love" n his nest wasn't true....the crazy hunter that was after Benny was half right n half not ...the WHOLE SEASON was about unreliable narrator n confirmation bias(u see what u wanna see if you wanna see it hard enough) & lastly - sam believing all that stuff about himself? - also not true. ...

Hell even at the 8.23/9.01 when they're in Sam's head - it's soft lighting and overbrightness (represents his optimism or coloured lenses maybe in his head?) In those scenes with bobby n beautiful cottage in the woods n death convo - all of that is taking place in his head and its the same colouring,style and soft-focus....

My personal headcanon is sam was a wreck n headed towards committing suicide when a dog did run out in front of him n chances are he himself was in hospital and had a long recovery period mentally after accident n although saved by doc n dog both - in his haze he conflates all of it n his head cooks up a story that he chooses to believe instead of facing truth that he can't live without his brother ....

Not saying it's perfect but it's my hc that something terrible happened to sam in those months that he's chosen to block out or not see n chose to retreat I to his head...

I really want to hear why you think Amelia wasn't real or whatever it sounds interesting

omg a million different reasons

For starters, there are way too many similarities between her and Sam for them to just be two random people who met by accident. They both lost someone recently and they’re both running away and they both just happen to be staying at the same motel?

Yeah ok, so she’s staying at the motel because she apparently works at the nearby animal clinic, but as someone who’s had questionable housing situations, not many places consider a motor inn a valid living address when you’re looking for employment. Sure, she probably could’ve gotten a job at a grocery store or a gas station, but as a veterinarian? Not likely. A vet gets paid on average $85k per year and a normal orientation in a new workplace is 2 weeks to a month. You think any sane employer is just gonna sign up a lady who rolled into town and is staying at a motor inn, and might decide to just drive out of town tomorrow? I mean come on.

Also, the dog he hit couldn’t have been a gray hound or a husky or idk, a german shepherd? It had to look like Bones? It’s like Sam pulled that dog out of memory and then just gave him different coloring. And he hit this dog with a 1967 fucking steel box traveling how fast? But this miracle vet lady saved the dog and it was hopping around like 24 hours later with a little cast on its leg?

Never mind the whole thing with the picnic and Amelia sitting on a blanket which is a mirror image of Dean’s fantasy of Lisa.

Like every single part of that story seems like something Sam could’ve dreamed, including Amelia’s disapproving army father who Sam has to spend hours sucking up to. 

And then, her husband just miraculously appears just as Dean has found a way to crawl back out of purgatory?

How about the fact that Sam was not actually connected to the world the entire time he was with her. Sam, who freaked the fuck out because he hit a dog, decided to just completely ignore dozens of phone calls from Kevin? Never even check his messages? Never contact any of the other hunters? Never crack a book to at least try and figure out if Dean was dead or alive? Never attempt to summon any demons or angels for questioning? This Sam?

Pls.

Sam had a mental breakdown. There was no dog. There was no Amelia. It all happened in his head. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

[sxltedgxn]

✘ tag dump pt . i

[ziggykatzfan]

heyyy uh you guys should ask me things. because i have answers

[sounknownvoid]

robbed of sam's c-ptsd

So im watching this show called absentia which is quite unexpectedly good - in it the female lead is kidnapped n tortured for 6xyears and drowned and choked,beaten etc,etc - upon release, she discovers that her husband, believing her dead, has remarried and her son now thinks of someone else as mum and she still has absolutely horrendous ptsd with shakes n flashbacks that has her immobile, gasping for breath and choking and terrified and then she gets into drugs n alcohol as she tries to cope and shes so angry and jitterry etc etc, her body is scarred all over - scars that itch psycho-somatically etc too..and yet shes also shown kickun ass and takung names and being a general BAMF - theres this whole journey of her recovery in the aftermath alongside her strength and her resilience is clearly shown but in an understated manner....

And to me, thats the road not taken by supernatural about sams cage trauma and return and his subsequent ptsd in following years.... jared padalecki tried to inject some if it in his acting by doing his own research - but without the support from the writers and the story-focus itself, it didnt have the full context for non-trauma-informed viewers to grasp what they were seeing...

We were robbed of sam post cage n recovery journey and it would have made the season when lucifer is back to battle the darkness in the bunker 10xtimes more horrific and clearly shown how much strength and courage it took from sam to find himself back in the cage and tell him no to his face or depth n agony of his shame and despondency when hes resurrected by lucifer in alternate world.... thered have been so much more depth and character develooment for both sam n dean as the brother who truly sees and understamds what it is to see hell-experience from the other side - hed tortured others but what it can do to someone he loves and cares about and how to support someone like that - it could have become the trigger for him to finally share himself emotionally, truly and even understand himself and sam more - development for dean as well as the relationship - & so itd have made his subsequent offer to become the "soul-bomb' to get rid of amara that much more terrible - for hes made all these great strides and his relationship is finally sorta getting ok with sam and hes still willing to sacrifice himself - a true hero instead of just someone who'd had that label slapped on him as it felt like often...the impact of his actions would have been that much more greater - if we'd been allowed to fully see that journey .... but they didnt...we got idiotic leviathans and stupid purgatory and amelia instead and bluueegghhhhazhzgshajabzba... ill go back to my corner now, thanks for listening

[sounknownvoid]

Exactly.... s7,8,9 could have been filled to the BRIM with exploring all the ways luci fked sam up instead stupid leviathans or gidstiel or idiot angels....or even dean..

Fk it, I'll go there - we could totally have had a perfectly plausible,entertaining AND horrifying with UNHINGED levels of angst n codependency n heartbreaking tragedy" is this intimacy coz of love or-is-this-hate-toxic-relationships" tropes WITHOUT cartoon-character-dean n mark p n jarpad would have delivered too!...

Yeah, I said it....

"sam puts earbuds in to listen to the music of the man lucifer is possessing. lucifer possesses a man because sam used to listen to his music. the show never, ever talks about it"

There were LAYERS there built over centuries n the worst things imaginable done to sam but also that sam would have been made to be complicit in ...

After all the reason sam is lucifers vessel is coz luci was sam 1st - betrayed by father AND God, used for his powers n skills but punished for questioning authority n then betrayed by own brother n locked up with the darkness in order to "contain" the evil - said evil being also in the family .... sam was just reliving lucifers trauma - and lucifer would have been DESPERATE for sam - to have someone else UNDERSTAND him n love him n see him ....never realising that he'd become the monster in his hate n anger n self-pity after all.... where SAM was different was that he DID understand and he did empathise keenly....BUT he was all about "you're what you DO n not who you are(as told by others)" ... that boy lived his beliefs n never stopped trying to make the right choices and it was his actions that set him apart from lucifer - absolutely baffling n infuriating luci...n an ongoing battle of wills that he essentially never won even though he broke sam in so many terrible other ways n sam came back so different n broken as a result - n that dynamic would have been awesome to see play out with all its nuances n tics that those actors could bring...ah well...spn, the show of many missed opportunities

right cause the fact that lucifer acted like sam meant nothing to him once that he couldn't be used as a vessel, and then immediately went and possessed a celebrity he would have known that sam used to love. and then sam puts in earbuds to listen to that person's old music, and lies to dean about it. and its played off as a funny moment with brotherly banter but theres so much to unpack there. the last 5 seasons try really hard to forget that sam and lucifer ever had more than spn's standard antagonistic relationship, but there are moments like that one where it seeps through anyway. they spent an incomprehensible amount of time together. lucifer knows sam better than literally anyone. lucifer broke sam to an unimaginable extent. lucifer valued sam more than anything. sam never, ever talks about it. sam puts earbuds in to listen to the music of the man lucifer is possessing. lucifer possesses a man because sam used to listen to his music. the show never, ever talks about it. its just one of many occasions where the doylist explanation is "the writers did not care one bit about previously established canon in order to live out their new comedy-adventure story" and the watsonian explanation is "this shit is FUCKED UP"

[the-avengers-not-the-nazis]

My wife, even better

Summary: Dean can’t stop talking about you, his wife.

Word count: 0.5k

A/n: Not really any use of Y/n, but it is pretty cheesy. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. ;)

༺═────────────═༻

“And she has theses eyes, wow.” Dean let out a sigh, his own eyes practically in the shape of hearts as he continued to talk to the bartender. “I mean, look, if you’ve ever seen them, then you could see all these different shades mixed into one. It’s awesome.”

The bartender just nodded her head, the damp rag moving quickly back and forth on the counter tip. “Mhm.” She hummed, not even listening to what the love struck man was even saying. 

“Plus, the way she talks is so beautiful, if I were to listen to one sound the rest of my life it would be her voice.” 

“Yep.”

The bartender then turned her back to the man, trying to focus on her work and not on the man that had been rambling on about you since he sat down. With nothing else to do Dean just let his eyes wander through the bar, catching his brother and you talking to a few people about the case that you were working on. 

Dean played with his empty beer bottle, watching as the light reflected off the glass. His thoughts wandered over to you, not that they weren’t on you to begin with. But, he thought of how just days ago you were his simple girlfriend, how you and him used to tease and flirt with one another before you were officially together. 

And now, now you were Deans forever. Til death do you part, in both sickness and in health. You were his wife, and he was your husband. The thought made a smile drift onto his face and warmth creep up the back of his neck. 

“Hey,” You suddenly said from behind the man, dragging him out of his thoughts. “Sam and I have some intel on the case.”

Dean quickly turned back to the bartender in front of him, who had her hands busy with cleaning the glasses and counter for the night. “What did I tell you?” He asked her, dragging her away from her work. “The voice of an angel.”

The bartender gave a quick nod before getting back to work, not even sparring the two a second glance as she walked away. You hit Dean with the back of your hand, not hard enough to hurt him, but hard enough to let him know that he needed to focus. 

“I told you to stop that.” You gently scolded, your ears slightly turning pink. “Nobody wants to listen to you talk like that.”

“But, I want to.”

“And that’s amazing, D.” You pulled his hand in yours, giving it a tight squeeze. “But, not everyone wants to hear about our marriage.” 

“But, how could I not tell the world about you?”

You gave him a light peck on the cheek, pulling him off the bar stool and towards the exit. “Do you know how cheesy you sound?”

“Very, but I love you.” Dean quietly told you, leaning down to give you a kiss on the lips. “And I want the world know that, my beautiful wife.”

“And I love you, my gorgeous husband.”

[ninii-winchester]

Chosen Affection

Pairing : Dean Winchester X Reader

Word Count : 3.3k

Warnings : slight angst, language, Lucifer being Lucifer, soft smut at the end (nothing explicit) MDNI. Unedited.

Part 2 to Deepest Desire

A/n : This is a Supernatural x Lucifer crossover fic. I’ve only ever watched a few episodes of Lucifer. This is a work of fiction, I don’t own Supernatural or Lucifer. They belong to CW and Netlfix respectively.

I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION TO COPY MY WORK, TRANSLATE IT OR POST IT TO ANY OTHER PLATFORM. REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED.

After talking with Sam, Y/n went back inside the bar and Dean followed silently. Chloe could tell Y/n had been crying and the tension was obvious. Lucifer eyed the couple, clearly enjoying the drama, which he created in the first place. Not intentionally but he did.

"I think it's best we get to the Bunker and see what we can do from there." Y/n told the other three, Dean opened his mouth to argue but she cut him off. "Sam agrees."

"The Bunker?" Chloe asked confusion lacing her voice.

"It's our workplace. We live there too." Y/n replied, Dean's heart squeezed the she didn't call it home. He knew it was far from homey but that's the closest thing they've had to a place of their own.

"Sounds fun." Lucifer said standing up from his seat.

The quartet left the bar. Dean watched as Y/n slid into the back seat of the Impala, he sighed before he made his way to the driver's seat. Lucifer slid into the passenger's seat while Chloe joined Y/n in the back. He watched her from the rear view mirror hoping to catch her eye but she never looked his way.

The drive back was awkward and tense. Dean couldn't bear the uncomfortable silence so stepped on the gas, wanting to reach their destination as soon as possible. They soon arrived at the Bunker and Dean opened the huge door allowing them to enter. The quartet descended the stairs and Y/n spotted Sam sitting at one of the tables in the library, his laptop opened in front of him.

Sam noticed the presence of other people, and looked away from the screen. He looked at the man in black suit with weary eyes, not feeling completely at ease in his presence. Chloe noticed his timidness and introduced herself.

"I'm Detective Chloe Decker." She held her hand for Sam to shake. "This is..uh my partner, Lucifer."

"Sam Winchester." He shook her hand and nodded at Lucifer who stood there with his hands in his pant pockets. That was so awkward that even, ever the friendly, Sam had a hard time clearing the air.

"Alright." Y/n broke the silence before she went crazy with all the palpable tension around the room. "We need to send them back home as soon as possible. Sam have you got anything yet?" She questioned walking towards him as he sat back on his chair.

"So I've been searching the internet for a way to open a portal to another universe and so far I've got anything." He explained running a hand through his hair. "Although I've yet to search the the files in the library."

"Yeah the Men of Letters might have key laying around here." Y/n commented with a roll of her eyes.

Sam noticed the lack of participation from his brother, he didn't fail to notice the distance between Dean and Y/n, it seemed as she was avoiding him at all costs.

"Is there anyway we can help?" Chloe asked from where she stood.

"Don't you want to rest a bit? I'm sure you're tired after being thrown into another universe." Y/n said softly.

"I already feel like we're asking too much from you people." Chloe replied bashfully. "We can help."

"Its fine-"

"Why don't you say it out right that you don't trust us with your precious files filled with important information." Lucifer interrupted Y/n with a smirk on his face.

"You know what, yes. I don't trust you. At all! So you shut your trap before I throw you in the dungeon alright?" Y/n snapped, directing all of her pent up anger towards Lucifer.

"And just who do you think you're talking to?" The devil asked menacingly, walking towards her. Dean was quick with his feet stepping in front of her, his gun pointing towards Lucifer.

"Don't you dare." Dean threatened.

The man just laughed before speaking, "is this your way of sucking up to her? It's quite pathetic if you ask me."

Sam's brow raised in confusion at his words, before things could get worse Chloe jumped in, "Lucifer, back off. Dean please put the gun down." Dean glared at Lucifer still pointing his gun at him. At Chloe's intervention Lucifer stepped back, prompting Dean to lower his gun. "It's best if we rest." Chloe looked at Y/n and she nodded.

"Dean will show you where you'll stay." Sam spoke, Dean gave him a look that said i-will? and the younger brother shrugged. When the others left the library Sam turned to Y/n. "So are you gonna tell me or I'm gonna have to play twenty questions with you?" She sighed before filling him in.

"It hurts, Sam." She felt herself tear up. Sam immediately went to comfort her. She sobbed in his chest as he held her. "After everything we've been through and it still wasn't enough..."

"Hey don't say that. Maybe you should talk to him, hear what he has to say." Sam suggested. She knew she had to face him sooner or later. "It's late, how about you go and get some rest, you came back from a hunt, must be tired." She nodded her head before leaving his embrace.

She left the library, walking through the hallways she debated whether she should go to their shared bedroom or to the room she stayed in before she moved in his'. That room hasn't been used in a long time. Before she knew it she was standing in front of their shared bedroom, her feet unintentionally dragged her there. She sighed before entering the room. After taking a quick shower she settled into bed. As tired as she was, she couldn't get her brain to keep repeated those moments from the bar.

"Amara" Dean's voice kept repeating that name in her head.

The door to the room opened, Dean entered the room as quietly as possible, assuming she's asleep. He'd gone to library and offered Sam to help but his younger brother told him he needed to be elsewhere and refused his offer politely. Dean's eyes landed her figure on the bed, eyes widen open staring at ceiling.

"Y/n." Dean called out approaching the bed slowly.

"Not now, Dean." She replied, unblinking.

Dean nodded before changing into comfortable clothes and slipping into bed. He knew she wouldn't be in here if she wasn't comfortable sharing a bed with him, however he kept his distance incase she didn't want him touching her. He knows she's hurting, but her ignorance is killing him and the last thing he needs is her pushing him away.

"Did they settle in okay?" Y/n questioned after a minutes of silence.

"Yeah." Dean replied. "Lucifer is a dick though." He added with an eye roll.

"He's the devil, what do you expect."

Minutes passed and none of them spoke, Y/n couldn't fall asleep for the life of her, she kept tossing and turning, trying to get comfortable. She wanted to hold him, she wanted him to hold her. She was too hurt to make a move and her ego was too big to ask him.

Noticing her restless Dean couldn't help but blurt out, "Can I hold you?" Part of him wanted her to get comfortable and part of him wanted to hold her in his arms since he couldn't ever sleep peacefully without her. He didn't know if he asked it for her sake or his own.

She scolded herself for being so eager to be in his arms but she couldn't help but nod her head. He didn't waste a second wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her closer to his chest, so her back rested against it. He snuggled his face in the crook of her neck.

"I love you, sweetheart." He whispered in her ear, placing a soft kiss on her neck. She shuddered at his action and that was the first time in forever she didn't say it back.

Dean woke up to an empty bed. The clock read 2:27 and he shoved the covers off of him haphazardly and bolted out of the room. First thing that came to his mind that she left him. With hurried footsteps he reached the library, his eyes fell on Sam who was surrounded by files, books and empty beer bottles. His breathing picked up, Sam opened his mouth to question his brother but Y/n's voice interrupted him.

"Dean?" She called out his name, noticing his disheveled state. He turned around to see her standing at the entrance of the war room with two mugs of coffee in her hands. He didn't answer her, instead he took large steps towards her and hugged her tightly. Her arms were angled awkwardly and she somehow managed not to spill the scalding hot coffee over themselves. She sent Sam a confused look over Dean's shoulder and he shrugged, not knowing either.

"I thought you left." Dean mumbled in her shoulder.

"I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd help Sam." Dean nodded before pulling away. An awkward silence followed after. She walked over to Sam putting a mug in front of him.

"Did you guys find something?" Dean asked following behind and her taking a seat.

"Actually we did. There's a few ways to open a portal. There's energy manipulation, magic ritual, or using an ancient artefact or finding a weak spot." Sam explained taking a sip of his coffee.

"But we don't have ingredients for a magic ritual and we certainly do not have the specific artefact." Y/n commented.

"So either energy manipulation or finding a weak spot?" Dean questioned looking at her.

"Maybe but considering Lucifer has to absorb energy from a volcano or a thunderstorm, I don't think it's safe to let him juice up." She replied with a concerned voice.

"Agreed." Sam said rubbing his eyes. "Our best bet is finding a weak spot. From there he can open a portal by using his own powers saying this incantation." Sam turned his screen towards his brother.

"So were do find this 'weak spot'?" The older Winchester wondered out loud.

"It's usually around places like deep woods, ruins or caves. Lucifer can sense it since he has powers." Y/n answered.

"So let's do it." Dean said getting up.

"Wait, now?" Y/n exclaimed.

"Yeah now." Sam agreed with Dean. "The sooner he goes back, the better."

Y/n nodded in understanding, she told them she'd go and get Lucifer and Chloe while the Winchester brothers geared up. Y/n quickly changed and met up with the others. They'd decided to go to the forest. It took them three hours to reach their destination. They got out of the Impala and ventured into the woods.

"Thank you for helping us Y/n." Chloe said as they continued to trek through the dark forest.

"That’s what we do but you’re welcome." She smiled at the blonde. The three men walked ahead of them Sam and Dean constantly asking Lucifer if he felt anything. And the devil kept giving them snippy replies.

"You know.." Chloe started gaining Y/n's attention. "I may not know you all for long but I'm observant. You're good people. I can see Dean truly loves you, whatever he said back there it hurt him too." She said looking at Y/n. It sure felt like the detective knew what she was talking about. "You should give him a chance to explain." Y/n mumbled a quiet 'yeah' with nod.

"This is it." Lucifer said loudly. "I can feel it." He held his arm up feeling up an open space.

"Alright, now channel your powers and focus on the spot. Think of the place you want to go. Your world." Lucifer did as Sam told him to.  Sam handed Lucifer a piece of paper. "Now say this." They could see a split forming above them and bright light emerging from it.

"Ad universum alterum patefacio, vires

invoco. Portalem aperire, vires occultas evocare. Tempus et spatium frangere, iter transire concedere." Lucifer read out loud and the five of them watched in awe as a portal finally opened.

A strong wind roared through the landscape, its force palpable and relentless. Trees bent and swayed, their leaves and branches rustling loudly as they were whipped around. The air was filled with the sound of howling gusts, the sheer strength of the wind created an atmosphere of raw, untamed energy.

"Holy fucking-" Y/n exclaimed, Dean instinctively moving in front of her.

Lucifer breathed heavily, panting as he stood back.   

"Alright. You ready to go back?" Lucifer asked Chloe and she nodded. She quickly hugged Y/n and thanked Sam and Dean.

"I have to say, you three really are something." Lucifer said with a smirk. "And I thank you for your help." He added. The three of them nodded.

They watched as Lucifer and Chloe jumped into the portal and it closed as soon as they fell through. The wind stopped and the light was gone. Sighs of relief were heard in the complete silence of the forest.

"Felt weird being thanked by the devil." Y/n chuckled as they walked back to the car.

"You're telling me." Sam added.

Dean was silent the whole ride back to the Bunker. The sun has already risen, the world felt calm and serene, filled with a promise of a new day. Y/n hoped this new day brings her some peace. When they reached to the Bunker Dean left the car without saying a word.

“You’re gonna talk to him?” Sam asked looking worried. He knew now that Dean didn’t have something to focus on, his mind would be all over the place.

“Yeah.” She replied walking inside. When she opened the door to their shared bedroom she saw Dean sitting on the edge of the bed. He had something is his hands but quickly hid it when he noticed her, though he fiddling with a set of keys in his hands. She took smalls steps and sat beside him. A few seconds passed in silence when Dean chuckled humourlessly,

“You know,” he started, “I was waiting for so long, I didn’t want it to go this way.” She looked at him, confusion written all over her face. “I thought I’d do it when you’d come back from that hunt, take you out somewhere fancy, dinner and all.”

“Dean-”

“I bought us a house.” He interrupted her. He showed the keys that were in his hands. “I thought I’d tell you after I’d ask you, and you’d hopefully say yes, we’ll start a new life. You, me our kids. Together. No more monsters, no more hunting.” Her heart rate picked up, “I should’ve known better though, when has anything gone the way we’ve wanted it.” He moved to kneel in front of her holding her hands in his.

“She,” Dean grimaced, “her and I were bound because of the mark, the mark may have gone from my arm but it’s has left something behind, it’s an urge. I don’t desire her at all, not her physical self anyway. It’s something I don’t like admitting out loud but there’s something in me that’s dark and sometimes it makes me want to do things that I did when I had that mark.” She let out a gasp at his confession.

“Dean I had no idea.” A few tears escaped her eyes.

“But you know what keeps me sane? You.” He cupped her cheek in his hand wiping away her tears. “You’re my light, you vanish all the darkness inside of me. You’re the one I want, you’re the one I crave. You’re the one that makes me want to be better. I’m not bound to you, you’re a conscious choice sweetheart. Everyday, every second you’re the one I want.” He grabbed something from beside her, she hadn’t even notice it was there all the time. She gasped again when she saw what it was, a small velvet box.

“Y/n, sweetheart, I love you, I always have and I always will. I know I’ve hurt you baby, but if you give me this one chance, I’ll spend the rest of my life showing you how much I desire you. Will you marry me?”

She couldn’t believe what she heard, did he just say he’s giving up hunting? Getting a house? Getting married? Kids?

“You, Dean Winchester, has decided to quit hunting?” She questioned, thinking somehow she’s didn’t hear him right.

“Yeah,” he chuckled through tears. “And hopefully spend the rest of my life with you, Mrs. Winchester, if you would.” He gestured to the ring in his hand.

“I like the sound of that.” She teased with a smile on her face.

“So will you?” He asked again, not believing her until she says it out loud.

“Yes Dean, I’ll marry you.” He didn’t waste a second slipping the ring on her finger.

“I love you so much.” He pressed his lips to her, kissing ber softly, pouring all of his love into it. Their lips moved in perfect sync, a soft brush sent shivers down their spines. Time seemed to slow, and the world around them faded into a blur. The warmth of their breath mingled, and the closeness created a cocoon of shared emotion. The gentle pressure and the delicate movement of their lips, created a bond that felt both timeless and immediate.

“I love you too, Dean.” She panted as they pulled apart. “I won’t lie, I was hurt pretty badly when you said that. But I had no idea where it came from and it made me insecure. I thought you wanted her.” She spoke lowly as if sharing a secret.

“I’m sorry sweetheart, I shouldn’t have kept it from you, but after everything, I didn’t want you to worry. You’d finally had some peace.”

“I understand but from now on, no more secrets okay? I want you to be open with me, yeah?”

“I promise.” He kissed her again, laying her back on the bed. He hovered above her, his hands placed on either side of her head. She let out a soft moan as he kissed her neck and moved to her collarbone. “Let me make love to you, baby.”

She nodded, pulling him back up, kissing him passionately. “Show me how much you love me.” He gently pulled her shirt over her head, and she gripped at his’, indicating she wanted it off and he quickly removes it. It didn’t take long for them to get rid of all their clothing, leaving them completely naked.

He dragged his fingers delicately over her cheek, down her neck and chest. She flipped them over making him lay on his back. She bit his neck, nibbling and leaving dark purple hickeys. She moved to his chest, kissing her way down to his stomach before she could go any further he stopped her.

“Later, baby. I need to feel you.” Dean flipped them over again. He watched her flushed face, leaning on his one arm, he reached a hand between their bodies and gripped himself, leading himself to her. They moaned in unison as he penetrated her. “Fuck baby.” He groaned in her neck.

Moans and groans filled the room as they continue to loose themselves into heated passion. Wrapped up in each others embrace, bare skin pressed together, their hearts beating in unison. Coming undone together basking in the aftershocks of their passionate love making they laid entwined in the soft sheets, their breaths slowly synchronized, a comfortable silence enveloped them. She rested her head on his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, a sound that had become her lullaby.

Tags:

@fullbelieverheart @spnfamily-j2 @n-o-p-e-never @montyrokz @deangirl96

[sounknownvoid]

Yes exactly 💯.... chuck couldn't write anything else...just like sam couldn't fight n win against dean - even though he fought n won against literally everything n everyone else! ...

Spn is a tragedy with so so many tragic characters throughout: John,Mary,bobby,Jesse,Charlie,that wolf-girl,magda n those kids, azazels "special children", Rowena,crowley,cas,gadreel,Kelly,lucifer(yes lucifer was the 1st to experience chuck's "tragedy-acting-out"), jody, donna,the novaks, the girls,mark davies,Jack n ofc sam n dean - chuck just writing his story full of endless tragic characters n crying over his own story of feeling oppressed by amara n then choosing freedom by caging her but then missing her but hating her but unable to stop loving her n so on over n over until the end like a petulant angry sullen repressed child ...

Suspect it's why he thought sam would react the same way he himself had n why he was chosen to be lucifers vessel - as the younger son he was chucks self insert, as was lucifer - hence 'lucifer was my favourite ' .... n while lucifer played the part - sam - simple human SAM WINCHESTER did NOT ... which is what 1st piques chucks interest in THIS sam n dean to begin with ... n he throws everything possible at sam throughout those years to MAKE Sam choose to go against dean n others - to do as he did - thus helping to reinforce n justify his own actions through sam n others' actions like he's always done....but...

This Sam showed through his actions n choices despite all the tragedy n absolute horror his life had been that you could choose kindness n could CHOOSE love - ie he lived his belief: it was what you CHOSE to do n NOT who you were/your designated-at-birth role or fate that determined your worth n value....a choice chuck had NOT made n never makes....absorbing amara in the end.... n no matter how hateful he makes dean - sam chooses him n refuses to kill dean or let dean kill him ...driving chuck to his rage-fuelled end-game

Sam winchester BETTER than G*d aka chuck, y'all!! ....😇🥰🤩

Supernatural and First Sons. Something about duty and how it is enforced with violence, and love and it being dispensed as anger.

And how the second child is a victim to it all.

Something about how Chuck at the beginning of it all was a second child, victim to his older sisters love and anger. Imprisoned by the wants and desires she had about his life and the way he was allowed to live it.

The First Child is always right in the end, the second child should have listened, but they are weak corruptible and wrong. Chuck destroys the world, how could he think he could ever build it.

This is the story he has always written. It’s the only one he knows.

[fatecantstopme]

What I'd Give

Pairing: Dean Winchester x plus size!reader

Summary: When Dean is gravely injured on a hunt, (Y/N) makes a deal to save him--a deal that might just cost her everything.

Warnings: canon violence, swearing, mentions of death/dying. SMUT, dom/sub vibes, choking kink, overstimulation, oral (F receiving), unprotected sex (P in V)

You screamed helplessly as you watched your best friend and fellow hunter be thrown from the window across the room. You'd just managed to stab the demon you were fighting a mere second before you heard the breaking of glass.

You yanked the angel blade out of the demon's chest and ran straight towards the demon who'd just tossed your friend out the window. You stabbed the demon in the back, bringing an end to the fight.

You looked out the window and saw the horrific scene three stories down. Your heart clenched in your chest as you raced to the stairs, making it outside in record time.

"Dean!" you cried as you reached his broken body. "No, no, no, no..."

You were almost afraid to touch him--afraid to search for a pulse and not find one. You exhaled sharply and pulled yourself together, placing a firm hand against his neck. You could feel a very weak pulse beneath your fingertips and you knew he was in trouble.

The fall had certainly broken some bones and he likely had internal injuries of some kind. The glass from the window had sliced his skin in a million places, and you were worried he would have severe head trauma as well.

Normally, you would call out to Castiel and he would come running to save Dean, but this wasn't a normal day. Cas had been missing in action for weeks, and neither you nor the Winchesters knew where he was.

Dean's safety--his survival--depended solely on you. The two of you had been hunting alone, while Sam was out helping Garth on a different hunt. You'd hunted together countless times, but neither of you had ever been this seriously injured.

You knew he was dying--as surely as if there was a neon sign screaming "death!" above his head. You couldn't stand the thought of losing him, so you made a decision that would change your life.

"Anyone who's listening, I need your help," you called out. "Please...I will do anything...just save him."

You waited in silence for a few moments, hoping against hope someone would hear your call and take pity on you. You weren't exactly on good terms with most angels, but you couldn't help but hope at least one of them would care.

You heard the soft flap of wings that always signaled the arrival of an angel and you looked up hopefully. You inhaled sharply when your eyes met the glowing red eyes of the man who had come to rescue you--or should you say, archangel.

"Well hello, (Y/N). It's nice to see you again."

"Lucifer," you hissed lowly.

"In the flesh!"

"What are you doing here?"

"I heard your call," he said simply. "And well, let's be honest, no one else is coming to help you."

"Did you come here to gloat?"

"Of course not. Even I'm not cruel enough to find joy in the death of Dean Winchester."

"Then why did you come?"

"To save him, obviously."

Surprise lit up your face. Out of all the responses you'd expected, that hadn't been on the list. "Pardon?"

Lucifer smiled darkly. "For a small fee, of course."

"Ahh," you acknowledged. "That sounds more like it. What do you want?"

"Nothing too extravagant."

"Lucifer..." you growled.

"As you can see, this vessel isn't doing so well." He gestured to himself and you had to admit, he looked like absolute shit. "In fact, it's dying...which means I'm in need of a new one."

"Absolutely not," you said instantly. "He would never say yes to you."

Lucifer smirked. "I wasn't referring to him."

Your eyes widened. "I'm not an archangel vessel," you whispered.

"No, but you are a vessel. And I think you're strong enough to contain me long enough to find me a better one."

You swallowed thickly. There was no way you were going to agree to this...you knew what being an archangel's vessel would do to you and you weren't exactly interested in being strapped to a nuclear bomb.

"No," you said firmly.

"Suit yourself," he said with a shrug. "But just remember, Dean's death will be on your hands now."

You exhaled in defeat as you looked down at the man in your arms. You knew he was close to death--no hospital would be able to save him. Lucifer was your only option.

"Save him first," you whispered.

Lucifer smirked, knowing he'd won. "I would, (Y/N), but this vessel is simply too weak. I would need your body in order to save him."

You looked up into his dark eyes and considered his words. "I don't trust you."

"You would be a fool to trust me after all we've been through. However, I need you...and I need Dean alive and well to help me find an archangel vessel. Possessing you is a good motivator for him."

You clenched your jaw as you thought about your options. It took you mere moments to realize you didn't have any. You would rather die than allow Dean to...so your decision was made in an instant.

"Fine," you murmured softly. You looked up at the monster standing before you and exhaled slowly. "Yes," you breathed.

Lucifer wasted no time--immediately exiting his vessel and entering your body, taking over in an instant.

It was painful, feeling his energy within you, and you knew with absolute certainty you wouldn't be surviving this--no way in hell.

To your surprise, you were fully aware of everything happening around you. You could still see and hear--but you had no control over your body in any way.

Lucifer--you--reached out to Dean and touched him. Your palms began to glow and you watched the various wounds on his body heal quickly. His bright green eyes slowly blinked open and he looked up at you in surprise and confusion.

"What happened?" he groaned.

"You got tossed out a window," your voice said, though it was not you speaking.

Dean sat up and rubbed at his head. He looked down at himself, clearly surprised by his lack of serious injuries. "I fell three stories down..."

You nodded.

"How am I not dead?"

You felt your lips curl into a smile--a slightly cruel smile you knew was not your own. "You're welcome."

Dean's eyes narrowed in confusion. "What?"

Unbeknownst to you, your eyes began to glow red, alerting Dean to the presence of someone else in your body--and there was only one creature you knew whose eyes glowed red.

"Lucifer?" Dean yelled angrily.

"The one and only," he replied.

"How the hell...why are you...where's (Y/N)?"

"Oh she's right here," he said with a smile, tapping the side of your head. "Watching and listening like a little creep."

"Well it is my head, you asshole," you mumbled.

"Doesn't mean it's not creepy," Lucifer's voice hissed inside your mind.

You didn't like the idea that Lucifer could hear your thoughts and speak to you like that...and it made you wonder what else he could see within your mind.

"Everything," he teased darkly.

"Fuck."

"Get the hell out of her body," Dean growled.

"Not a chance, buck-o. (Y/N) was kind enough to invite me in, so I think I'll stay a while."

Dean pulled an angel blade out of his back pocket and pointed it at you. You knew he would never use it if it meant killing you too. It was an idle threat and Lucifer knew it.

Lucifer simply laughed. "You're not going to use that, so put it away."

"Get out of her and I won't have to."

"Oh please, you won't kill her."

Dean's expression remained impassive, but you could see his resolve waning. You knew him too well to miss the small tells. Unfortunately, that meant Lucifer knew him just as well.

"Let's make this easy on ourselves," he began. "Everything (Y/N) knows, I know. Every memory, every thought, every feeling, everything. So put the damn blade down before I have to break your arm."

You could see the anger on Dean's face, but he lowered the blade and slipped it back inside his jacket. "Why the hell did she invite you in?"

"You were about 5 minutes from death and she couldn't save you."

"So what, she called out to you?" Dean asked in disbelief.

"She called out to everyone...I'm just the only one who responded." You felt your eyes glance around in slight concern. "Speaking of, we should probably get out of here, just in case."

Dean nodded and lead the way to the Impala, which was parked a short distance away. You got into the passenger seat like usual and you saw Dean tense up at your proximity. He clearly didn't like the idea of the Devil riding shotgun.

"So why did you heal me?"

"I need your help," Lucifer admitted.

"What makes you think I'd ever help you?"

"I knew you wouldn't, which is why I convinced (Y/N) to let me have her body for a little while."

"Convinced?"

"I may have told her a little white lie--that my old vessel was too weak for me to save you. She didn't exactly offer herself up, but she didn't fight very hard when she realized I was her only option."

"You slimy son of a bitch," you growled.

"I'm the devil, (Y/N). What did you expect?"

"You son of a bitch," Dean mumbled, echoing your sentiments. "What exactly do you want from me?"

"I need to find an actual archangel vessel. I'm getting tired of jumping from vessel to vessel...they keep burning out. It's rather tiresome."

"Well you're not touching Sam, or me for that matter."

"I wouldn't dream of it," he insisted. "I know there are others out there, but I need someone with your connections to help me locate one."

Dean raised his eyebrows. "My connections?"

"Well, Bobby Singer's connections, really...but the best way to him is through you, and the best way to you is through her."

Dean exhaled angrily. You knew he was mad at you just as much as he was mad at Lucifer. You were surprised he hadn't given you an earful yet, even with Lucifer listening in.

"Fine," Dean grumbled. "But the moment we find you a vessel, I want you out of her body. Do you understand me?"

"Perfectly," Lucifer answered.

"Now just sit there quietly until we get to Bobby's, understand? I want absolute silence."

"Well that's boring--"

"I can't stand hearing you speak with her voice, okay? So shut up."

Lucifer smirked, but fell silent, deciding instead to annoy you.

"He's mad at you, isn't he?"

"I said yes to you...of course he's mad."

"Does he know?"

"Know what?"

"How you feel about him?"

"I would really like you to shut the hell up now, Lucifer," you hissed.

"But I'm so bored," he whined.

"I don't give a damn and neither does Dean. It's about 2 hours to Bobby's place...can you be silent for 2 hours?"

"Fine," he grumbled. "It'll give me more time to dig around in your brain anyway..."

"Shit--no!"

You tried to shut him out of your mind as best as you could, but you could still feel him rooting around in your head...making himself at home and digging into memories and thoughts and feelings that were never meant to be shared with another soul.

**********

"What an unsightly place," Lucifer grumbled as he--you--followed Dean up the stairs to Bobby's door.

Dean shot an annoyed glare in your direction, but didn't comment.

"Bobby!" he called as he entered the house.

Bobby came into view and offered you both a tired smile. "Hey you two. What brings you to Sioux Falls?"

"We were close by on a hunt and now we need your help," Dean answered.

"Sure. Come on in."

Neither you, nor Lucifer, had said a word of greeting to Bobby, which struck the older man as odd.

"You alright, (Y/N)?"

"Oh I'm just peachy," your voice answered.

Bobby's eyes narrowed at you, immediately noticing your voice was off. Besides, you didn't tend to talk to Bobby like that.

Before Bobby could question you, Dean spoke up. "We need to find an archangel vessel...as fast as possible."

Bobby stared at him for a moment. "Dean, you are an archangel vessel."

"Yeah, well I need one to house the devil--and it ain't gonna be me or Sam."

"Why the hell do you need a vessel for Lucifer?"

Your hand reached out and tapped Bobby on the shoulder. Judging by Bobby's shocked expression, you assumed your eyes were once again glowing red. Bobby quickly took a step back, looking between you and Dean in confusion.

"It's a long story," Dean muttered. "But I don't want him riding shotgun in (Y/N)'s head any longer than necessary, so we need to find him another vessel."

"Preferably before this current one starts to rot from the inside out," Lucifer added.

"Seriously, Lucifer?"

"Well that is essentially what happens, you know. I wouldn't want to damage such a pretty face."

"Oh fuck off," you grumbled.

"Why in god's name would she say yes to you?" Bobby asked angrily.

"To save my life, okay?" Dean snapped. "Look--we don't have time for this. I need your help to find another vessel. Please."

Bobby sighed and crossed the room to his desk, which was covered in books and papers--an organizational system only Bobby understood. He eyed you warily, but he didn't comment on the situation further.

"I assume you know how to find an archangel vessel," Lucifer commented.

"Perhaps you could enlighten me," Bobby responded.

Lucifer sighed and began to tell Bobby what he needed to look for. You ignored the words coming from our own mouth, instead focusing on Dean. You could see how upset he was and it made you feel incredibly foolish. You hated seeing him like this, but you didn't regret your decision. The mere fact he was alive to be angry made this whole thing worth it.

"How long do you think it'll take?" Dean asked, interrupting your thoughts.

"A week or two--maybe a little more," Bobby answered.

Dean looked in your direction, eyeing you with concern. "Will (Y/N) last that long?"

"Might wanna keep it closer to two weeks," Lucifer replied.

"You're lying, aren't you?" you asked quietly.

"Do you want me to tell them the truth?"

You sighed internally. "I think Dean deserves to know."

"A week would be even better," Lucifer said aloud.

Dean stared at you, worry deepening the lines on his face. His gaze traced your face, searching for any signs of deception--or maybe signs of damage.

"Well then," Bobby muttered. "Better get started."

**********

You sat in the corner, feet up on another chair as you watched Dean and Bobby. You could tell both of them were extremely worried, but their focus was on finding another vessel. They didn't have time to dive into their fears for your life.

Lucifer, on the other hand, seemed to think he had all the time in the world. He was quite happy to torture you instead of providing the two hunters with any assistance.

"Why haven't you told Dean?" he asked for what had to be the 1,000th time.

"There's nothing to tell, Lucifer. Would you just back off?"

"You're really no fun, you know that?"

"Good. This isn't supposed to be fun for you."

"I can make it fun."

"I'd really rather you not."

"Too late!" he said gleefully.

You could feel him poking around inside your head again, searching for something he could use to hurt you with--or hurt Dean with. You tried to keep him away from your darkest secrets, from the things you'd never shared with another soul, not even Dean. But you noticed it was getting harder and harder to resist him. You weren't sure if it was because he was so strong or if you were becoming weaker. Either way, it was only a matter of time before Lucifer found something he shouldn't.

Unfortunately for you, that moment came much sooner than you'd anticipated.

"(Y/N)--fuck, I mean Lucifer...can I talk to you outside for a moment?" Dean asked suddenly, rising from his chair and heading outside without waiting for a reply.

"Well this should be fun," you mumbled internally.

"I assure you," Lucifer mocked. "It will be."

You felt your body moving, feet heading after Dean whether you wanted to or not.

Once outside, Dean turned to face you, eyes filled with a multitude of emotions you couldn't stand to see. "I want to talk to (Y/N)."

"Oh come now," Lucifer said. "You know that's not how it works."

"I know you can shut up and take a backseat. So that's what I want."

"Hmm..." Lucifer hummed thoughtfully. "You know, I'd rather not. Besides, (Y/N) doesn't really feel like talking to you right now."

"Fuck you, Lucifer. Let me talk to him!"

"Sorry, sweetheart. Ain't happening."

"Somehow I doubt that," Dean grumbled angrily.

"You can doubt it all you want, but I'm the one physically inside her head. I know what she's thinking and let me tell you, it's not very complimentary of you."

"What?" Dean asked in surprised confusion.

"You have no idea what she really thinks of you, do you?"

"Lucifer, what the hell are you doing?" you growled.

He ignored you, instead focusing on his conversation with Dean.

"She's my best friend," Dean responded. "What more do I need to know?"

Lucifer laughed cruelly. "I'm sorry, that's just too funny. You think she's your best friend?"

You could see the look of hurt cross Dean's face for a moment, but he quickly covered it up.

"Sorry," Lucifer said, laughter subsiding. "It's just hilarious that you think she cares about you that much."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"She's tired of you, Dean. She's tired of your stubbornness, your self-loathing, your reckless behavior. She's tired of everything to do with you. She doesn't care about you--not really, anyway. You annoy the shit out of her, but she puts up with you because she feels like she has to."

You fought with everything you had to overpower Lucifer and take control of your mind and body. Not a single word Lucifer was uttering was true and you desperately wanted to tell Dean the truth.

"Stop fighting, (Y/N). You can't win," Lucifer whispered.

"Stop lying to him and I'll stop fighting," you insisted.

"No. I'm simply having too much fun."

Dean's face was impassive to the average person, but you saw through the mask on his face, and so did Lucifer. "I don't believe you," Dean said softly.

"You don't have to believe me. They're not my words. I'm simply relaying (Y/N)'s thoughts," Lucifer said with a shrug. "Haven't you ever wondered how she puts up with all your shit? You're not exactly walking sunshine, Dean. You're one of the most damaged humans I've ever met."

Dean inhaled deeply. "If she hates me so much, why does she stay?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

Neither you nor Dean knew what Lucifer was going to say next...and his words cut deeper than you'd expected them to.

"She's in love with your brother," Lucifer sneered.

"Lucifer, no!" you screamed.

Dean's eyes widened and shock settled onto his face. He turned around, his back to you in an attempt to collect himself.

You fought even harder...you needed to get this son of a bitch out of your body. It felt like you were locked inside your own mind with no way out. Lucifer was too strong and the harder you fought, the weaker you became. You quickly realized the more energy you expended, the stronger he became...there was no use in fighting him.

"You're a monster," you whispered.

"They call me the devil for a reason.'"

You didn't bother responding to him. Your heart was aching for Dean and all you wanted was to comfort him. You knew exactly where his head would be at right now and it was killing you.

He'd always compared himself to Sam--at least as long as you'd known him. He seemed to think Sam was better than him in a lot of ways and certainly more lovable. The mere idea that you agreed with that sentiment...that you loved Sam...it would break him and you knew it.

"Sam is better than you in every way," Lucifer added, stoking the fire. "Why would anyone love you when they could have Sam? He's everything you're not...sure of himself, confident, open and honest. Sam is better for (Y/N) than you could ever be."

Dean turned back around, face a mask of impassiveness once again. "Let's find you a vessel so you can get the hell out of our lives," he said in a low voice. "Besides, I wouldn't want to get in the way of Sam and (Y/N)'s love."

If you'd been capable of crying, you knew the tears would be streaming down your face in that moment. Your heart ached in a way you were unfamiliar with and you hoped Lucifer could feel the pain the same way you did.

"Why?" you whispered.

"Why what?"

"Why'd you say that to him?"

Lucifer laughed. "Simple...I knew it would hurt both of you. You're in love with him and if his reaction was anything to go by, it looks like he feels the same."

"We're both helping you right now. Why can't you just be grateful for 10 fucking minutes?" you hissed.

"Where's the fun in that?"

You knew the question was rhetorical, so you didn't bother responding. Instead, you quietly watched Dean walk away and you knew he was going to lose his shit. You could feel it as clearly as your own emotions.

"Let's follow him," Lucifer said happily.

"Let him take his anger out without an audience," you snapped.

Lucifer ignored you and quietly followed after Dean, keeping a distance to avoid being noticed.

Once Dean was farther away from the house and seemingly alone, he grabbed a crowbar from a nearby bench and began to beat the ever-loving-shit out of a junker car.

If you'd wondered about Dean's feelings for you before (and you had), you didn't wonder anymore. It was clear he cared about you in the same way you cared about him and you hated seeing him in such pain.

You wanted nothing more than to go to him, but Lucifer was much happier standing to the side and watching Dean suffer alone.

"Please," you whispered.

"You can tell him I'm a lying bastard if you manage to survive this."

"You and I both know that's not likely," you sighed quietly. "I don't want him to suffer and I don't want to die with him thinking I hate him."

"Pity. Guess you should have told him sooner..."

"Oh fuck off, Lucifer," you growled.

Lucifer's laughter echoed in your head and you hated him in that moment more than you could even begin to express.

**********

"You alright kid?" Bobby asked Dean when he returned to the house an hour or so later.

Lucifer, and therefore you, had returned shortly after watching Dean fall apart. When he'd dropped to his knees, tears streaming down his face, Lucifer had gotten bored and left.

"I'm fine," Dean lied. "Do you have any leads?"

"I've put out my feelers to every person I could think of. I'm sure someone will have something for me soon."

"Did you call Sam?"

Bobby shook his head. "I assumed you did."

"Call him and let him know what's going on. I'm going out."

"Where are you going?"

"Yeah, Dean," Lucifer chimed in, "where are you going?"

"The nearest bar. Don't wait up."

You tried to say his name, but your mouth refused to form the word.

As soon as Dean was out of earshot, Bobby turned his attention to you. "What the hell did you say to him?"

"Me?" Lucifer asked, feigning innocence. "Why would you think I did something?"

"Maybe because you're the devil?" Bobby answered sarcastically.

Lucifer smirked darkly. "I may have poked at all of his insecurities."

Bobby groaned. "You're a son of a bitch, you know that?"

"That's not a nice thing to say about my Father."

Bobby just glared at you and rolled his eyes. He got up and left the room and you assumed he was going to call Sam.

"I second Bobby's comment."

"I wear it like a badge of honor."

You knew exactly what Dean was going to do and it was killing you. He was going to drink until he couldn't feel a thing, pick up some random girl, and fuck her senseless--anything to feel something other than the ache in his chest. You knew him better than he knew himself...but in this moment, you desperately wished you didn't. You would give anything to not know what he was going to do.

**********

Three days later, one of Bobby's sources had a lead on a potential archangel vessel.

Dean hadn't spoken to you or Lucifer unless he absolutely had to. It was too hard to even look at your face and hearing your voice was a thousand times worse.

Sam was still out on a hunt with Garth, but he promised to be there to help as soon as he could.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Bobby asked Dean as the two of you were preparing to leave.

"The less people involved, the better. Stay here in case we need more intel," Dean responded.

"I don't like the idea of you traveling alone with Lucifer."

"I'll be fine."

Bobby didn't believe him anymore than you did, but neither of you commented on it--not that you could have if you'd wanted to.

As you/Lucifer and Dean climbed into the Impala, Dean didn't spare a glance in your direction.

"Isn't this fun?" Lucifer asked. "I've always wanted to go on a roadtrip."

Dean groaned. "What are the chances you'll be quiet during this drive?"

"Slim to none," Lucifer said with a smirk.

The response almost made Dean smile. It sounded like something you would say and technically it was your voice. He had to remind himself you weren't really talking to him--every word out of your mouth was Lucifer.

Dean took off without another word and you silently prayed this lead would pan out. You were extremely tired and it had only been about four days since Lucifer had possessed you.

By this point, you were having a hard time focusing on what was happening in the real world. You were in pain and you could feel your body weakening...you were dying and you knew it. You just hoped Dean didn't notice.

**********

By the time the three of you arrived at your destination, you were feeling terrible. You weren't even sure how much time had passed since you'd left Bobby's. In fact, you were pretty sure you'd fallen asleep very early on.

"It's been about 12 hours," Lucifer told you.

"I slept for 12 hours?"

"You're dying," he said nonchalantly. "So you're going to have a harder time staying awake."

"Great," you whispered sarcastically.

"Lucifer!" Dean growled. "You coming?"

"Of course."

Lucifer followed Dean into a building you assumed was an apartment complex. Sometime during the elevator ride, you must have fallen unconscious again, because when you opened your eyes again, you found yourself standing in a nice apartment.

Dean was talking calmly to a young man who looked moderately terrified.

"Is he the vessel?" you mumbled.

"Yes. I can feel it," Lucifer responded.

"Thank god..."

"I'm sorry, you want me to allow the literal devil to possess me?" the young man practically yelled at Dean. "That's assuming I even believe in the devil."

"Look man," Dean said with surprising calmness. "I know I sound insane, but it's all real. We need an archangel vessel and like it or not, that's you."

"What if I don't want to say yes?"

Dean grabbed him by his collar. "Then the woman he's currently wearing will die...and I will do anything to prevent that." His voice was low, barely above a growl.

The young man looked terrified, eyes wide with fear. "Are you threatening me?" he whispered.

Dean straightened out the guy's shirt and gave him a dark smile. "Of course not."

"So I have a choice?"

Lucifer chuckled. "Don't think for a moment he'll give you an option, kid."

The guy looked at you and you felt terrible for him. You understood his fear and apprehension...and it felt wrong to force Lucifer onto him. This kid didn't deserve it.

"We shouldn't be doing this," you mumbled.

"Too late, (Y/N). Dean knows he's an archangel vessel. There's no way he's going to leave without getting him to say yes."

You wanted to respond--to fight, but you couldn't. You were too weak...too tired. Everything hurt too much.

"What's it like?" the guy asked softly.

"Like being strapped to a rocket," Lucifer said snidely.

Dean shot him an annoyed glance. "You'll be fine. You were meant for this."

The guy's gaze remained fixated on you. "She looks like shit...am I going to look like that?"

Dean finally focused his gaze on your face and you saw the fear flash in his eyes. He could see you were dying. Your skin was pale, your eyes bloodshot, dark circles adorning them...your lips were cracked and there were slight lacerations appearing around your forehead and jawline.

"She wasn't meant to house the power of an archangel," Lucifer responded. "She's dying, but the same won't happen to you."

"Will she be okay if I say yes?"

"Yes," Lucifer lied smoothly.

The guy looked like he was contemplating what to do, so Dean spoke up again.

"Look, kid. She's important to me...more important to me than pretty much anyone else in this fucked up world. I would do anything to save her...she's--she's my brother's girl."

You wanted to tell him that wasn't true, but you knew it was fruitless to even try. Even still, your heart ached at his words.

"How long?" the guy asked, directing his question at Lucifer.

"As long as I want. You'll never age, never die, as long as I'm with you."

The guy nodded. "Alright. I'll do it." He stood up. "What do I need to do?"

"Just say 'yes'," Lucifer answered.

"Yes."

A bright white light filled the room and Dean had to shield his eyes. When the light faded, you were lying on the floor and Lucifer was now clearly possessing the young man they'd come to find.

"(Y/N)!" Dean yelled as he raced to your side.

Your pulse was faint and you looked even worse than you had moments before.

"Heal her," Dean demanded.

Lucifer's lips curled up in a cruel smile. "No."

"Excuse me?"

"I said no," he repeated. "I'm not interested in saving her."

"You wouldn't have a vessel without us. You owe her!"

"I'm the devil, Dean. What makes you think I give a damn about debts?"

Dean stared at him, anger and terror fighting for control in equal measure. He stood up and went to lunge at Lucifer, but the archangel simply disappeared, leaving you and Dean completely helpless and alone.

**********

Dean had rushed you to the hospital and was currently sitting in the waiting room, hoping to hear something about your condition.

Sam rushed into the room, eyes scanning for his brother. When he saw him, Sam crossed the distance and wrapped Dean in a tight hug.

"How is she?" Sam asked.

"I don't know," Dean said quietly. "But it doesn't look good."

"She's strong, Dean."

"I don't think that matters...her body was never meant to house an archangel and she managed to do it for almost a week. She's dying, Sammy."

Sam's eyes filled with tears, but he blinked rapidly to keep them from falling.

Dean's heart ached, seeing his brother look so upset. He would be lying if he said he didn't feel a broken emptiness in his soul--a space you used to occupy. But he needed to push past his own pain for his brother's sake. After all...you weren't his.

"For (Y/N)?" a doctor called into the waiting room.

Dean and Sam practically ran in her direction. Dean's heart clenched in his chest as he took in the doctor's sad expression.

"Are you (Y/N)'s family?"

Both men nodded.

"Come with me, please," the doctor said quietly.

They followed her to a private waiting area and Dean's dread increased significantly. "What's going on?" he asked worriedly.

"Please have a seat," the doctor asked, gesturing toward the chairs against the wall. She closed the door before taking her seat across from them.

"My name's Dr. Murphy. I'm (Y/N)'s treating physician."

"I'm Sam and this is my brother Dean."

"There's no easy way to say this," Dr. Murphy said gently. "(Y/N)'s injuries are quite severe and she's in critical condition."

"But she's going to be okay, right?" Dean asked hopefully.

Dr. Murphy frowned and shook her head. "Her organs have begun to shut down...it's only a matter of time now. The best I can do is try to keep her comfortable."

"No," Dean whispered. "No, she can't--"

Sam placed a hand on Dean's shoulder, trying to comfort his brother.

"I'm very sorry," Dr. Murphy murmured.

Dean suddenly stood up. "I can't do this. I need--I need air."

He practically ran from the room and Sam got up to follow him, but Dr. Murphy placed a gentle hand on his arm. "I think it's best to give him a moment."

Sam nodded as he desperately tried to push his own emotions away. He adored you, but he knew exactly how much Dean loved you...so he knew how much pain his brother was in right now. It hurt him almost as much as losing you.

***********

Once Dean was outside, he ran around to the side of the building, desperate to be alone for a moment. He collapsed onto the ground, back against the hard stone of the hospital exterior. All of the tears he'd been pushing back for days finally poured out.

He found himself falling apart in public--something he couldn't recall doing before. He couldn't bring himself to care. You were dying and it was killing him. It was all his fault. If he hadn't been so careless, he wouldn't have gotten injured and you never would have had to beg Lucifer to save him.

He knew it wasn't a rational way of thinking, but in that moment, it didn't matter. You were about to become just another name on a never ending list of people who died because of him. He couldn't take it--it was too much.

"I know I'm not exactly on good terms with any of you and I probably don't deserve your help, but I'm not asking for myself. (Y/N) is dying and I can't save her. I'm not normally the kind of man to beg, but I'm on my knees right now...begging for just one of you to find it in yourself to give a damn. She doesn't deserve this. She's the best person I've ever known...so please. Please someone answer me. Please..." His voice was broken by the end of his short speech.

He was desperate and there was nothing he wouldn't do to save her. If no angel would help him...he wasn't above making a deal with a demon. He'd been to hell once before, and he'd do it again in a heartbeat if it meant you could live.

"Hello, Dean Winchester," a soft female voice said from beside him.

He jumped up quickly, ready to fight if need be. He hadn't even heard the woman arrive, which meant she likely wasn't human.

"Don't worry," she said gently. "I'm not here to hurt you. My name is Aliraphael."

"Aliraphael?" Dean repeated. "I've never heard of you."

She smiled. "You don't need to know my name to know what I am."

Dean swallowed thickly. "Why did you come?"

"You prayed for help. I answered."

"But why? We don't know you...what would make you wanna help us?"

Aliraphael smiled. "You, your brother, and (Y/N) have sacrificed much for this world and all of the people in it. I think you deserve a miracle."

Normally Dean wouldn't believe her, but there was something in her eyes that made him feel safe. He was inclined to trust her, but he had to be sure. "What do you want in return?"

"Nothing. This is my gift to you."

"Nothing is free."

"I understand why you may be jaded, but sometimes a gift is simply a gift. This is one of those times."

Dean nodded. "I'm choosing to trust you, but just know if you betray me, I will kill you."

She smiled. "I would expect nothing less of the great Dean Winchester."

Dean led Aliraphael into the hospital and his eyes scanned the waiting area for Sam. He wasn't there, so Dean assumed he'd gone to your room.

"Excuse me. Can you tell me what room (Y/N) (Y/L/N) is in?" Dean asked the receptionist.

The woman typed on her computer without looking up and muttered, "Room 212."

"Thanks," Dean replied. He tried to walk slowly--normally--to room 212, but every instinct in his body was screaming for him to get to you as quickly as possible.

When Dean entered the room, he saw Sam standing beside your bed, his hand wrapped tightly around yours. He was speaking softly to you and Dean felt that ache in his chest intensify.

"Sam," Dean said softly.

Sam turned towards the door, eyes red from his tears. He looked between Dean and Aliraphael in confusion. "Who's she?"

"I am Aliraphael," the angel responded. "I am here to heal (Y/N)."

Sam cut Dean a look. "What did you do?"

Dean shrugged. "I prayed. She came."

"Okay, but what did you promise her in exchange?"

"Your brother has promised me nothing. I am doing this because I wish to. I have no ulterior motive."

Sam still looked worried, but he stepped back to allow Aliraphael access to your bed. Aliraphael gently placed her hand against your forehead and closed her eyes. A soft white glow began to envelop your body and your skin began to return to normal.

After several moments, Aliraphael dropped her hand from your head and turned to Sam and Dean. "It is finished."

You started to stir in the bed and Dean's heart beat faster.

"She will awaken in a moment," Aliraphael assured them.

"Thank you," Dean whispered, unable to take his eyes off your face.

Sam echoed his brother's statement and Aliraphael smiled.

"You are all very welcome." With that, the angel disappeared as if she had never been there.

You groaned softly and your eyes slowly opened. You blinked rapidly trying to clear them and focus on the room around you.

"I have to go," Dean muttered.

"What?" Sam asked in surprise, but Dean had already exited the room.

"Sam?" you asked softly, hearing the younger Winchester's voice.

"Hey, (Y/N/N)," he murmured. "I'm here."

Your bright (y/e/c) eyes focused on his face. "What happened?"

"What do you remember?"

You thought about it for a moment and the memories of the past few days came flooding back. "Lucifer..." you whispered.

Sam sighed and nodded. "Yeah."

"I was dying, Sam--I felt it. Why am I not dead?"

"Dean prayed...and some angel we'd never met before came to save you."

Your eyes widened. "Dean...where is he? I need to talk to him."

"He was just here, but when you started to wake up, he bolted."

"Shit," you murmured. "We need to go after him."

You started to sit up and tug at the IV in your arm, but Sam stopped you.

"Woah! Woah! Slow down, (Y/N). You were almost dead not even five minutes ago."

"And now I'm not, so we need to get the hell out of here Sam," you insisted.

Sam sighed. He knew better than to fight you, so he simply helped you remove your IV and untangle you from the web of other tubes and wires. He handed you your clothes and turned around so you could get dressed in privacy.

"Alright, let's go," you said as soon as you were dressed.

*********

When Dean left the hospital, he'd taken the Impala and started the long drive back to Lawrence. He just wanted to get home before you and figure out what his next move was. If you and Sam were going to be together...he didn't want to be there to witness it. He couldn't.

Dean's phone had rang several times, but he hadn't answered. Most of the calls were from you and a few were from Sam, but he couldn't handle hearing your voice right now. Especially if you were going to tell him everything Lucifer had said was true.

"He's still not answering his damn phone," you muttered, throwing the phone onto the dash angrily.

"I just don't get why he'd leave like that," Sam said for the fifth time.

You sighed and ran your fingers through your hair. "Lucifer said some things to him, Sam...things that hurt him deeply. None of it was true, but Dean doesn't know that."

"What kind of things?"

"Things about me...about how I feel. And about you," you admitted quietly.

"(Y/N), just tell me."

"Lucifer told Dean I couldn't stand him and the only reason I hung around was because I'm in love with you."

Sam scoffed. "And Dean believed him?"

"You didn't see his face, Sam...he believed every word. I wanted to tell him the truth, but I couldn't overpower Lucifer."

"Shit," Sam mumbled. "He's a goddamn idiot if he thinks you love me more than him."

You laughed dryly. "Lucifer played on Dean's insecurities and unfortunately, it worked."

Sam sighed. "Where do you think he'd go?"

"I have to hope he went home."

"Then let's get there before he does." Sam sped up, flooring the stolen car like he'd--well, like he'd stolen it.

You were about five hours from Lawrence and Dean had a head start. You knew it was unlikely you'd get there first, but you had to hope you could get there before he left.

**********

When Sam pulled into the Bunker's garage four and a half hours later, you were relieved to see the Impala parked where it should be. Dean would never leave without his beloved car, which meant he was still there.

Both you and Sam practically ran into the Bunker, calling Dean's name.

The green eyed hunter heard your voices, but he ignored both you and Sam. He couldn't face you...he just couldn't.

"Dean? Where are you?" you called again.

"Come on, Dean. We know you're here," Sam said in annoyance.

You headed into the kitchen and Sam went down towards Dean's bedroom. Both of you hoped to find him before he managed to sneak his way out.

Sam entered his brother's room without knocking and sighed in relief. "Dean. There you are."

"Sam," he said curtly.

"Why the hell did you leave? And why didn't you answer our calls?"

"I just needed to get out of there."

"What, before (Y/N) woke up?" Sam's tone made it clear exactly how stupid he thought his brother's actions were.

"Look man, I'm glad she's okay, but I can't face her. I don't want to have that conversation."

Sam decided to play dumb. "What conversation, Dean? The one where she thanks you for saving her life? Or where you yell at her for saying yes to Lucifer in the first place? Cuz trust me, we had that conversation already."

"That's not what I'm talking about, Sam," Dean said quietly as he started to pack his duffle. "But it doesn't matter. I'm leaving."

"Why the hell are you leaving?"

"I can't stay here. I can't--I can't see the two of you together," he whispered.

"Together?" Sam asked incredulously. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"It's fine, Sam. I know."

"There's nothing to know!"

Dean glared at his brother and shook his head. "I saw you at the hospital...you clearly feel the same as she does."

"Yeah I do!" Sam yelled. "She's my friend--she's family!"

Dean was about to snap back another retort, but Sam cut him off.

"Just talk to (Y/N), Dean. Let her explain...you owe her that much."

"I don't want to talk to her."

"I'm not going to give you a choice," you said from the bedroom doorway.

Both men turned to look at you in surprise. You crossed your arms and stood firm.

"I don't want to talk," Dean said quietly.

"Good. I don't want you to talk, Dean. I want you to listen." You turned your gaze to Sam and gestured with your head for him to leave the room.

He gladly exited, not wanting to be a part of this particular conversation.

You closed the door behind him and continued to stand in front of it, afraid Dean would try to leave if you moved.

"Lucifer is a liar, Dean. I shouldn't even have to say that. He's the devil, for crying out loud. He's kinda known for his lies."

"But he's also been honest with us before," Dean countered.

"Only when it benefited him. Just like he lies when it benefits him. Hurting you? Hurting me? That shit brought him joy."

"Really? Did it hurt you to hear him tell me how you really feel about me?"

"No," you said angrily. "It hurt me to hear him lie to you about how I feel! The things he said were cruel and terrible, but more importantly, they weren't true!"

Dean stared at you silently, clearly not believing a word you said.

"Do you really think I'm capable of lying to you for years? Think of every moment we've spent together, Dean...do you really think I pretended to care about you? Pretended to enjoy spending time with you? Think about all the times we've laughed together, the times we've had each other's backs, the small glances, the whispers in the dark when one of us had a nightmare. Think about all of those moments and then look me in the eye and tell me it was all a lie."

Tears filled his beautiful green eyes and you knew the same expression was reflected in your own. You took a step towards him, desperately wanting to touch him, but afraid it be unwelcome.

"You're my favorite person in the world, Dean Winchester. You. Not Sam, not Bobby, not Jodi...you. You hold my whole heart in your hands...you always have. If you don't want it, then I understand, but don't for a second think I love anyone but you."

His lips parted in surprise. "But what about Sam?" he whispered.

You sighed loudly. "Weren't you listening? Sam is my friend, Dean, but nothing more than that. I love him like a brother." You took another step towards him. "He doesn't compare to you--he couldn't compare to you. I love you, Dean...and I don't mean like a brother."

Dean inhaled deeply. "I want to believe you, (Y/N/N)..."

"Then believe me," you begged him. "I love you."

Dean thought about what Lucifer had said and he realized why he'd believed it so easily. They were all things Dean was afraid of...he knew he wasn't good enough for you and he was terrified you knew it too.

"Talk to me, Dean," you whispered, taking a final step towards him.

He looked deep into your eyes and found nothing but love there. The same love he held in his soul for you. "I've always been afraid to tell you how I feel because I know I'm not good enough for you," he admitted. "That's why it was so easy for me to believe Lucifer's lies...it was almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy. I couldn't believe you'd ever want me, so it was easier to believe you wanted Sam. He's better for you in every way."

"Stop," you whispered, pressing a finger to his lips. "I decide who is best for me and I choose you. I will always choose you."

"(Y/N)," he whispered.

You pressed your lips against his, trying to infuse it with all of the love in your soul. Dean's arms wrapped around your thick waist, pulling you closer to him. He deepened the kiss, lips hungrily devouring yours.

You stayed locked in each other's embrace for what felt like an eternity. Your tongues fought for dominance and your hands caressed any part of each other they could reach.

When the kiss inevitably broke so the two of you could breathe, Dean laid his forehead against yours. "This might go without saying, but I love you too, (Y/N). So goddamn much."

You chuckled breathlessly. "After a kiss like that, I'd sure as hell hope so."

He grinned and tugged you even closer to him. His lips pressed against yours again and he found himself wanting to feel every part of your soft body. He needed it, just as much as needed air to breathe.

"Let me show you how much, baby," he whispered against your lips.

"Please," you moaned softly.

“Strip for me, pretty girl,” he commanded.

You gently pushed against his chest, forcing him back against the bed. He dropped down onto the mattress, eyes never leaving your body.

You slowly began to remove your clothing, taking much longer than you needed to. You were teasing him and he was eating it up.

You finally got down to just your bra and panties, nothing fancy as you obviously weren’t planning on this happening, but Dean didn’t seem to care. In fact, you were about to be very glad you didn’t wear anything nice.

“You are so damn beautiful, baby,” he whispered.

You offered him a warm smile, appreciative of the affection in his gaze. He thought you were a goddess among humans, a treasure to behold.

“I think you’re a bit overdressed, Dean,” you teased softly.

“You know, babe, I think you’re right.” He stood up and shed his layers significantly faster than you had. He was extremely impatient, as he was dying to get his hands on you.

You admired his broad chest, thick arms, and sculpted form. He looked incredible, scars and all. You felt the strong urge to kiss every single one of them, if he would allow you.

He now stood before you in nothing but his boxers, his large erection straining against the thin fabric.

“Let’s get this off you,” he muttered, reaching behind your back to unhook your bra.

The moment your breasts were exposed to his gaze, he let out a low groan. “Fuck, baby. These are even better than I’d imagined.”

“You imagined my—“ your question was cut off by the feeling of his lips wrapped around your nipple and his hands caressing your breasts gently.

The gentle movements quickly turned more intense, and he began to truly knead and nip at your flesh. You moaned softly and gently ran your fingers through his soft hair.

You pressed yourself even closer to him, feeling his bulge press against your abdomen. He lifted his head with a small smirk.

“Impatient, are we?”

You nodded quickly.

“Oh come on now, sweetheart. Use those words for me. Tell me what you want.”

“You,” you whimpered. “I want you.”

His smirk widened. “I figured that much out on my own, darlin'. I want you to tell me what you need.”

You weren’t exactly accustomed to expressing yourself verbally in the bedroom. To be honest, a lot of your past experiences weren’t that great anyway. A lot of one night stands with men who only cared about their own pleasure.

You found yourself feeling kind of excited at the prospect of a man listening to you and what you wanted…even more so because that man was Dean.

“I want you on your knees, handsome,” you said firmly.

Dean’s eyes widened slightly, but he dropped to his knees obediently. His normally bright green eyes were dark with lust as he locked eyes with you.

You loved the powerful feeling you had as you stood over him. The great Dean Winchester, on his knees for you.

You touched his face sweetly and he leaned into your palm, eyes fluttering closed for a moment. “Do you wanna eat my pussy, Dean?” you whispered.

His eyes shot back open, a hungry expression on his face. “Yes,” he breathed lowly.

“Then get to work,” you commanded softly.

Dean was used to being in charge in the bedroom and it wasn’t often he found himself submitting to a woman. You were different than any woman he’d ever been with before—after all, he loved you. If you told him to do a damn handstand naked, lick your feet, and call you “your majesty”, he would have done it in a heartbeat.

His calloused hands slowly slid up your thighs, squeezing the supple flesh. His mouth followed, leaving sloppy kisses as he worked his way closer to your core.

“Baby?” he asked softly, glancing up at you.

“Hmm?”

“Do you have any particular attachment to these panties?”

“No, why—Dean!” you gasped as he ripped your underwear in half, tossing the remains to the floor.

He grinned and made a happy little noise deep in his throat before kissing your mound. He grabbed your right leg and tugged it up over his shoulder, giving him better access to you.

“Lean on me for support, beautiful. I got you.”

The moment you laid a hand on his shoulder and he was sure you were stable, he dove into your pussy with a deep growl.

Your head fell back in ecstasy and a series of moans left your lips. The hand not holding onto his shoulder immediately wound itself in his hair, holding on for dear life.

“Dean—feels so good,” you moaned.

His hands dug into your ass cheeks in response, tugging you even closer to him. He never wanted to stop—hearing those sweet sounds you made mixed with the heady taste of your sweetness was more intoxicating than any drink he’d ever had.

Your legs had begun to tremble and Dean’s grip on you tightened. He wasn’t willing to stop his ministrations, but he wouldn’t let you fall either.

Your nails scraped against his scalp and his shoulder as you clung to him. The pleasure was almost too much and not enough all at once, and you felt your orgasm approaching.

“Dean,” you gasped. “I’m so close.”

He smiled against your core and shifted his focus more heavily to your clit. You cried out and cursed softly, and he knew he’d made the right move.

“I—oh god,” you cried as your orgasm washed over you.

Dean lapped up everything you had to offer, his grip on your body never loosening. As you began to come down from your high, he slipped his hands up to your hips to ensure he didn’t drop you.

He gave your pussy one last lick before allowing you to pull him up by his hair. To his surprise, you mashed your lips against his hungrily, not giving a damn that he tasted like you.

One hand tangled into your hair and the other held you tightly. “What do you want me to do now, sweetheart?” He murmured against your skin.

“Take control, Dean,” you begged. “Make my legs shake. Make me scream. I don’t wanna be able to move for hours.”

“Holy fuck,” he groaned. “Who taught you to talk like that, baby?”

You smirked. “It comes naturally with you.”

"Well it's the sexiest thing I've ever heard," he murmured.

His strong arms wrapped around your waist and gripped you tightly. He spun you both around so your back was to the bed. He pulled you up into his arms and tossed you onto the bed.

You gasped in surprise, not used to being manhandled in such a manner. You sat up slightly, resting on your elbows as you looked at the gorgeous man in front of you. You curled one finger and beckoned him towards you with a smirk.

He quickly discarded his boxers and dropped onto the bed, crawling slowly up your body. He dropped kisses onto your skin as he moved, leaving goosebumps in his wake.

When he reached your mouth, you reached up and grabbed the hair at the base of his neck, tugging him down to you. Your kiss was hungry and needy, leaving no question as to what you wanted.

As the kiss deepened, Dean shifted his body to touch your soft curves. In doing so, the tip of his cock brushed against your pussy, eliciting soft moans from both of you.

Dean's hands traced softly up and down your sides, relishing the feeling of your skin against his. "I love touching you," he murmured in your ear. "You're so damn soft."

You smiled and turned your head to nip at his jaw. He groaned and turned his attention back to your soft lips, sucking the bottom one between his teeth and biting down gently.

Much like Dean, you loved touching his body, but you reveled in the firmness of his body beneath your hands. Every time he moved, you could feel his muscles tense and shift. His body was powerful and beautiful--a vessel carrying the most incredible soul you'd ever known.

Dean shifted again, nudging your head to the side so he could suck at your neck, leaving love marks on the sensitive skin. You lifted your hips up slightly, seeking some kind of friction to relieve the ache between your legs. Once again, his cock brushed against your core and you gasped lightly. Dean, on the other hand, bit gently into your neck to suppress a loud moan.

"I can't wait any longer, baby," he groaned.

"Take me. I'm yours," you whispered.

He sighed softly, kissing you sweetly before pulling away. "Roll over for me, sweetness. Hands and knees."

Your eyes widened in surprise, but you rolled over immediately. You lowered your upper body to lay flat against the mattress, ass high in the air.

"Holy shit," Dean murmured as his hands grasped your large, round ass. "Who said you could have an ass this incredible? I can't wait to watch it jiggle while I fuck you senseless."

Before you could respond, he smacked your ass with an open palm, causing you to gasp slightly.

He seemed to realize belatedly that he should have asked if you were okay with that before doing it, but he'd be lying if he said he hadn't imagined smacking your ass for years. "Is that okay, baby?"

"More, please," you begged softly.

He smacked your ass again with a grin. "You like that?"

"Harder, Dean," you moaned. "Like you mean it."

"Fuck," he groaned, hand coming down against your cheek again.

Each time you moaned loudly, reaffirming your enjoyment of the action. Your pussy clenched around nothing and you were beyond desperate for him to just fuck you already.

"Dean, I need you--please," you cried desperately.

"Where do you need me, baby?"

"Inside me," you whimpered.

Without warning, you felt one of Dean's thick fingers enter your pussy. "Like this?"

You shook your head rapidly.

"Words, babe," he said firmly.

"I want your cock, Dean."

"Yeah? Tell me where."

You turned your head to look at him as best as you could from your current position. "I want you to fuck my pussy with your big, thick cock...please," you pleaded softly.

Dean blinked rapidly and licked his lips. He pulled his finger out from inside of you and sucked your juices from it. "Yes ma'am," he murmured.

He leaned forward and kissed your cheek where he'd left a red mark from his slaps. You turned your head back around, forehead against the mattress, preparing yourself for what would come next.

Dean gripped his cock tightly, stroking it a few times before lining himself up with your entrance. He started to enter you and you gasped at the stretch. It was painful given his larger than average size.

"I've got you, baby," he whispered, running his hands up and down your back in a soothing manner. "Just relax for me."

You took a deep breath and tried to relax your body as much as you could. When he felt the tension leave you, he continued to push forward.

You'd never felt so full before and the pain had begun to subside into pleasure. "You're so big," you mumbled.

Dean smirked and chuckled softly. "I'm not all the way in yet, sweetheart."

"What?!" you gasped in surprise.

He pushed the rest of the way in, bottoming out so deep inside you, you swore you could feel him against your cervix. "Fuck!" you yelped.

Dean continued his soothing hand motions on your hips as he allowed you the time you needed to adjust to his size.

While you appreciated his gentleness, you desperately needed him to fuck you. Instead of telling him what you wanted, you moved your hips forward slightly before slamming back against him so your ass pressed firmly against his lower abdomen.

Dean's blunt nails dug into your hips and he growled lowly. "Fuck, baby."

His hips snapped forward and he held you in place by your hips. He set a brutal pace, unable to move slowly--it felt way too damn good.

Dean was completely mesmerized by your ass, watching it jiggle as he fucked into you forcefully. He slapped the opposite cheek from the one he'd hit earlier and you cried out in pleasure, pussy clenching around him.

"You feel so fuckin' good, sweetness," he moaned. "Tightest pussy I've ever had."

You couldn't formulate a good response to his words as you were already too far gone. His cock slammed into your g-spot with each thrust, making your legs shake and your head fog up.

"Made for me, weren't you baby?"

"Mhmm," you hummed.

Dean smiled, knowing you were overwhelmed with pleasure and unable to respond properly. He leaned forward and grabbed a handful of your hair at the base of your neck. He tugged back slightly--just enough to cause a little pain without truly hurting you.

His thrusts were almost violent, they were so fast and hard. He wanted to feel you come apart on his cock and he knew you were close.

"You gonna cum for me, baby?" he whispered.

You simply whined desperately.

"What do you need, sweetheart? Tell me what you need."

"More," you begged.

"Hmm," Dean hummed. He slipped an arm around your waist and tugged you back against him so you were sitting up as he continued to thrust into you.

One hand slid up to your neck, wrapping around your throat and applying just a tiny bit of pressure to gauge your reaction. His other hand moved slowly towards your core, seeking your clit for added stimulation.

"Dean!" you cried.

He bit into your shoulder. "I'm here, baby. I want you to fall apart for me."

He rubbed at your clit quickly, thrusts slower due to the new position, but nevertheless pleasurable.

You needed just a little more to push yourself over the edge, so you gripped his hand around your neck and put more pressure on it, indicating what you needed.

Dean got the hint and tightened his grip on your throat, just enough to push you over the edge. He didn't want to hurt you--he would never hurt you.

"Cum for me, sweet girl," he murmured in your ear.

You cried out as your second orgasm crashed against you and your pussy tightened almost painfully around Dean's cock. He helped you ride out your high before lowering you back to the bed and rolling you over onto your back.

He was immediately on top of you, thrusting into you more slowly. He put one arm on either side of your head to support himself, effectively trapping you beneath him.

He rolled his hips against you, the motion pressing his pelvis against your clit, causing you to whimper in pained pleasure. Your hands found purchase in his upper back, nails digging in as he repeated the action.

"I love your body, baby," he whispered. "So fucking perfect."

You smiled up at him, pulling him down for a heated kiss. "I like it too," you mumbled. "Yours isn't bad either."

He chuckled lightly, kissing you lovingly. "I wanna see you come apart for me, (Y/N). Can you give me one more?"

Your eyes widened. "I don't think I can..."

"I bet you can, sweetness." He grabbed your hips and pulled your legs up so your legs were wrapped around his waist. He began to thrust in earnest again and your head fell back, a moan escaping your lips.

Dean closed his eyes, focusing on pulling at least one more orgasm from you and keeping his own at bay. The way you were squeezing him made it a hell of a lot harder than he would like.

The harder his thrusts, the tighter you seemed to grip him, and the deeper your nails dug into his back. He knew he was going to have some serious gashes on his back, but he intended to wear them with pride.

"Come apart for me, baby. Let me feel you soak my cock," he begged.

"Dean," you groaned.

"Come on, my love--let go."

Your eyes fluttered closed and your body began to shake as waves of pleasure threatened to overwhelm you. You came for the third time that night, cries of pleasure mixing with Dean's moans of encouragement.

You started to come down from your high, body overly sensitive from the onslaught of pleasure that continued. "Dean, too much!" you gasped.

"Just one more," he begged.

"I can't!" you whimpered.

"Please baby--one more. Need it," he continued to beg.

You didn't think it was possible for you to cum again, but you began to feel a new sensation in your abdomen. It felt similar to the familiar tightening coil that signified an oncoming orgasm, but it was infinitely more intense. You weren't even sure if it was pleasure or pain--the feeling was simply too overwhelming to comprehend.

"Dean--I can't--" you gasped in confusion.

His hand slid between your bodies to gently massage your clit and you suddenly couldn't breathe. You began to writhe beneath him, hands gripping at the sheets to try and ground yourself.

Dean knew you were about to come undone again, so he didn't slow any of his motions. "Look at me, baby."

Your eyes met his for no more than a moment before your vision became blurry. You screamed his name as you came for a fourth and final time. The feeling was so incredible, you couldn't even begin to describe it.

Your vision began to return to normal as you desperately tried to catch your breath. You were practically limp beneath him as Dean began to chase his own orgasm.

He tucked his head into the crook of your neck and murmured soft words of praise against your skin. "Feels so good--squeezing me perfectly."

He kissed your neck as his thrusts became more erratic. "I'm gonna fill up this pretty little pussy, sweetness. Gonna cum for you."

You managed to press a kiss into his shoulder and wrap your arms around him, hands clutching his back. "Fill me up, Dean," you whispered encouragingly.

Dean groaned lowly. "This pussy is mine, baby. You hear me? Mine."

"Yours, Dean. Only yours."

"Oh--fuck--" he groaned. "(Y/N)!"

His hips began to stutter, thrusts faltering as he filled you up with his seed. He whispered your name like a prayer as his movements began to slow to a halt. You clung to him tightly as he came down from his high.

He finally collapsed on top of you, completely spent and breathless.

You rubbed his back soothingly, lips pressing gentle kisses to his shoulder and neck. As the two of you laid there quietly, you began to notice the bedding beneath you was particularly wet--more so than you had expected it to be.

"I love you so much," Dean whispered, lips pressed softly against your jaw.

"I love you too, baby," you said sweetly.

Dean began to lift himself up, each movement making you gasp--body too overstimulated to handle any motion.

"Sorry, sweetheart," he murmured softly.

"I'm not complaining," you assured him.

He grinned slightly as he pulled himself up completely, softened member sliding out of your excessively wet pussy.

He looked down at the bed and his grin widened. "We made quite the mess, baby."

"Yeah, it feels a little...wetter than normal."

He chuckled softly. "That's probably because you squirted, (Y/N/N)."

You gasped, cheeks reddening in embarrassment. You realized that must have been the result of the most intense orgasm of your life. "I did?!"

Dean noticed your discomfort and immediately reassured you. "Yeah, sweetness--and it was the sexiest fucking thing I've ever seen."

You bit your lip and looked up at him. "Really?"

He grinned. "Really."

"I've--uh--well...I've never squirted before," you admitted.

His chest puffed up with pride. "I'm honored to have been the first--and the last." He added a wink for emphasis.

You smiled softly. "Maybe don't make it a regular thing...I literally can't move."

Dean laughed. "Don't worry, babe. I'll take care of you."

You watched the handsome man cross the room and go into the bathroom, emerging several minutes later with two washcloths. He gently picked you up, moving you to the other side of the bed where it was dry. From there, he very gently began to clean you up with the warm washcloths.

You were moved by the loving way he took care of you, making sure you were clean and comfortable before leaving the room in search of another set of sheets.

When he returned, you found you still couldn't move, but Dean didn't seem to mind. "I can change the sheets with you in them, (Y/N)."

"But--"

"Hush," he insisted as he pressed a kiss to your lips.

He made quick work of removing the sheets on the other half of the bed and putting the clean sheets on that side. He then scooped you up again and moved you to the clean, crisp sheets. He removed the rest of the soiled sheets and finished making the bed.

As soon as he was finished, he crawled into the bed beside you. He reached out to grab your soft body and tugged you against his warm chest.

You nuzzled into him and sighed softly. "I could get used to this."

He smiled and kissed the top of your head. "I'll always take care of you, baby...so you might as well get used to it. I'm not going anywhere."

You smiled and pressed a soft kiss onto his chest. "I love you, Dean."

Dean tightened his grip on you and smiled. "I love you more, (Y/N/N). Always."

[filmologetica]

BEHAVIOR — dean winchester

pairing: dean winchester x f!reader.

the one where: you and dean are trying your hardest to have sex but everyone seems to be against it.

warnings: +18. kind of smutty, language, fingering, blue balls king. english is not my first language and it’s 2am here so it might have some incorrect english i plan on checking later.

a/n: this was… something. i’m thinking about a part 2, let me know if you want it <3.

Dean didn’t know if anyone had ever died from blue balls, but if not, he could easily be the first.

Two weeks. It has been two weeks now that Dean and his girlfriend were trying to get some alone time, but it seemed impossible. Every time someone had something they forgot in the room they were heavily making out in and took too long to head out, killing the mood completely, or something urgent to talk to them, or something that needed to be done. Every damn time. And when they finally had time at night they were exhausted, completely worn out.

The tension was growing between them and they just couldn’t help it. They fought for every stupid reason, everything seeing to be extremely frustrating.

“Did you get the milk I asked you to yesterday?” Y/N’s voice was low. She was tired, frustrated and horny. More than that, she was fucking angry with the life she chose. Walking back to back killing monsters was fucking exhausting. She needed a break.

Everyday something new was getting on her nerves. Ghosts, demons, angels and even Lucifer himself. Jesus Christ, she had no more patience for anything.

“Shit, I forgot. Sorry, babe.” Dean was just as exhausted as her, but he was used to this life. What he was not used to was spending fourteen long days with zero sex.

Zero intimacy. Not even a lazy handjob. Of course he could take care of himself but once he was in a relationship - or sort of - he needed to be deep in the woman he craved. And oh, boy, he was craving her. Everything was enough to make his dick wake up and twitch inside his pants.

Every.

Single.

Thing

made him end up with a boner that he wished you would take care of but there was always something in the way.

Fourteen days. And counting.

“Fucking hell, Dean. Is it too much to ask for you to pay attention to the things I tell you?” You snapped, slamming your mug to the counter.

Sam looked up, rolling his eyes knowing very well you two were about to start another pointless argument. Dean wasn’t exactly helping his situation either, as he raised his voice. “If I pay attention to every single thing you talk about every day, there goes my whole day. You never shut up.”

“I’m really sorry. I forgot the only woman you’re capable of listening to are the stupid whores you fuck at every bar we step into.”

“Yeah, at least I can fuck them.”

“Fuck you, Dean.” Your mug was now forgotten in the counter as you marched out of the kitchen, your face red with anger. You knew Dean didn’t mean it. It has been like this for days now, just pointless arguments about nothing.

“Dude, just- Go talk to her.” It was almost like Sam was stuck in a loop all over again. That’s how he felt. He had now lost count of how many times he had said this exact same thing, the exact same way. “I’ll go buy the fucking milk.”

Sam had no idea what was happening. Your relationship with Dean was a secret and that was a deal that you both made until you figured out what it was. Of course sleeping together every night wasn’t exactly nothing but you agreed in taking things slow.

Dean entered your room without even knocking, closing the door behind him with a kick. “I can’t take it anymore, Y/N.” He sighed, letting his body fall in your bed. “I don’t want to keep fighting, I’m sorry. You know I listen to you, it’s just- It’s been too much.”

“It’s ok. I’m sorry about what I said. I just-” Dean looked at her, knowing exactly what she would say. “I miss you.”

“Yeah?” Tracing an invisible line at her exposed leg, Dean was taking his time feeling how soft her skin was.

“Yeah.”

“Mhmm.” His hand was now not so innocent, getting to her thighs still gently. The touch enough to make her shiver. “What are you missing?”

Opening her legs, Y/N exposed her delicate lingerie. It was red, and Dean could feel his mouth water with the sight. Her tiny lace panties were now making him rock hard. He could see your pussy clearly and he was ready to show you how much he missed it. “I miss you right here.” Your hands entered the fabric, touching your clit gently.

“God, I love it when you act like a cock slut.” Lifting your dress a little more, Dean was taking up the view. You never needed much to make him hard, but this was a whole different level. It was like he was drunk on your smell.

“I love it when you fuck me with your fingers.” You said and Dean now moved the fabric to the side, to get a clearer view, chewing on his bottom lip. “It feels so good when you ease me up with one finger because I’m so fucking tight for you…”

And just to make Dean lose his mind, you add one finger to your drabbling pussy. It took to much of him to not roll his eyes and come undone without even taking off his pants. “And when you add another one… God, feels so good, baby.” One more finger in, another growl from Dean out.

“I’m going to fuck you good. Make you remember what it feels like when I’m filling you up.” With your most innocent face you nodded, more like begging Dean to fuck you.

When you felt his lips on yours in an urgent kiss, it felt like you were dreaming. His tongue sliding into your mouth roughly while you ran your fingers through his hair desperately. Now, he was on top of you and you could feel his bulge.

You could feel his cock while his hips trusted into you trying to make him feel better even with his clothes still on. When your hand found his boner, using enough pressure on it, Dean moaned into your lips. “Fuck. I need to be inside you.”

And just when his hands found his belt, a knock was heard on the door. “No!” You cried.

Dean sighed, absolutely frustrated and hiding his face on the crook of your neck. “We can pretend there’s no one here. We put a pillow on your face and you make no sounds while I fuck you.”

You let out a quiet laugh, just as frustrated. “What if it’s important?”

“Y/N, this is important!” Dean was furious. Who wouldn’t be? He refused to add one more day to his blue balls count.

“Open up, guys!” Sam said loudly on the other side of the door.

“What the fuck does this guy want?” Dean got up while you adjusted your dress, trying your best to fix your hair quickly. “Yeah, Sam?”

As Dean opened the door, his face was definitely not friendly but it didn’t scare Sam, who entered the room and sat on the bed.

The bed you thought you were having sex seconds before. “We need to talk about your behavior.” He says.

“My what?” You ask and Dean rolls his eyes, thinking about hitting his head on the door a billion times to end his penalty.

“We’re gonna talk about what’s happening between you and Dean and solve this problem right now.”

“I don’t think that’s something you can fix, Sammy.” You wish you could punch him.

“Well, then I’m not leaving this room.”

And with that, Dean left to take a cold shower in his room after being cockblocked by Sam once again.