#love this snippet. even though his comment about the others being still alive is a bit unnerving

[marimayscarlett]

what are your favorite Paul videos? I need some good old Paul content

Hi 👋🏻

Thank you for this ask, it gave me the opportunity to look through some interviews with Paul I haven't seen/listened to in a while! I must admit, I won't include live footage in here, since I'm mostly focused on Richard when it comes to concerts, and all in all just find a lot of enjoyment in interviews/little snippets, since Paul can very delightful and entertaining 😌

Here are some of my favourites (linked in a list to give it a more organised overview):

- Paul's interview with Metal injection in 2017

- interview from ca. 2005 (unknown source) where he talks about the Reise Reise outfits (they wanted to look like people from Bavaria since they believed the audience would like that on a band from Germany) and the Reise Reise Album.

- super short yet very cute greetings from Tallin

- interview from 2009 with Eén about the band's search for boundaries and the song 'Pussy'; and an important quote: "We are really only possible worldwide. If the world didn’t exist, they would have already banned us in Germany. But the Germans aren’t ready for Rammstein yet."

- Paul's part in the documentary "Jung, wild und grenzenlos" about the time after the wall came down and the lack of prospects for GDR citizens.

- radio interview together with Flake for RadioEins: it has eight parts and all of them have an English translation on screen, highly recommend listening to this!

And last but not least, a moment I really like and yet is very thought-inducing from the MTV Masters episode:

"At the moment, I personally like all of them, really. I love them all, and I’m happy that they’re still alive, and I enjoy that we’re allowed to make music. There are people who come, who are interested in it, we get to release CDs… honestly, it couldn’t be much better - I wouldn’t know where it could be better."

[chaotictarlos]

Hiii! it's me again your break up anon 💙 can I get a tiny sneak peek from any wip you're working on please!?🥺 Today is officially my balloons day!🎈🎈🎈🥳

ANYTHING FOR YOU MY DEAR! 🥰😘 What's balloons day?

Here's a snippet from my stay at home honeymoon fic! (I would share more of the TK breakup fic but we're getting to parts that I kind of want to keep secret until I post)

“You’re not going to spend tonight talking about what if’s because they don’t matter right now,” TK says softly. “What matters right now is that we are married. You’re my husband and I’m yours. We’re alive. We’re married.”

Carlos nods, head dropping forward until it rests on TK’s shoulder. TK holds him close, rubbing his back gently for a little bit before he pulls away and pushes Carlos under the spray. He runs his fingers through his curls to get his hair wet, scrapping his blunt nails along Carlos’ scalp the way that he enjoys. He grabs Carlos’ shampoo - a yummy-smelling tangerine that Carlos recently got hooked on - and pours way too much into the palm of his hand just like he knows Carlos’ hates. Carlos just looks at him fondly though and rolls his eyes but doesn’t comment on it.

TK brings his hands up and starts to massage the soap into Carlos’ thick curls, taking much longer than he needs to. He enjoys it when Carlos lets him do this when he lets him take care of him in the most basic of ways. So often Carlos will shrug him off to wash TK in the shower because being taken care of is something that sometimes makes Carlos uncomfortable. Even after being together for years, it’s something Carlos has never gotten used to. TK doesn’t mind, he knows that one day he’s going to show Carlos enough that he cares for him and he won’t be pushed away again. TK’s willing to wait. He’s always willing to wait on Carlos.

Gently, he pushes Carlos back again and rinses the shampoo out of his hair. He does the same thing all over again with the conditioner. After his hair is clean, TK reaches for the loofa and their body wash - yes they share one because they like to smell like each other - and starts to wash Carlos. As he runs the loofa over Carlos’ body he starts to feel some of the tension melt out of him and TK finds himself wishing that Carlos would let himself have the breakdown cry that he needs. They both know that it would help Carlos to just let go and cry but they both know that Carlos is too stubborn and will keep holding on to being the “strong one” as much as he can.

One last time he pushes Carlos under the spray and watches as the soap suds melt from his body. He takes in his tired face, the ghost of a smile that he knows Carlos is trying to paint, and the mixture of grief, love, and guilt that’s mixed in his eyes. TK wishes that he could take the pain away and make Carlos feel okay again. He knows that it isn’t simple though, losing a parent never is and it wasn’t too long ago that TK was in the same position as Carlos. Losing a parent suddenly who still had so much of life to live is a deep pain that doesn’t have a simple cure.

[rivkae-winters]

A snippet out of something I'm writing in post canon that I started on a whim.

Nothing like coming back wrong, less human than the monster you'd been before, and meeting an old friend on the other side. The living side.

He was not one to take things laid out and waiting to die. No, like many times prior he had chosen to be here. Unlike those same prior times he was happy with that choice. Genesis had things now he never could have dreamed of before. The chair made of wood older than the village he spent his childhood felt alive under him as he nodded and commented at the appropriate times to words that washed over him like water. The previously upbeat, if off tune, humming was absent from the steady percussive instrument being worked greatly beyond what it had cost them at the counter. He was here because he wanted to be. He was here because he chose to give love and people and being alive awake another shot. Genesis wishes this choice was fully independent of the fact that the familiarity was comforting as much as it was his own perfect punishment. Like the long added lengths that now weighed on his scalp, choppy and rough in a way that would have once given him tremendous pause.  He catches the tail end of loose black hair flowing out the door to follow Cloud somewhere Genesis was probably just told about.  It was too short. It was too thin. Where the body flowing like water the same as the other the illusion vanished the moment red eyes locked on to his own. A patchwork of familiarity and novelty broke out before him and the familiar top lip curved just a little too far and a little too wide in a motion Genesis returned. There is the pressure of observation building in dark blue eyes that seem to be cataloging Genesis’s very soul as they practically meld into his own. Angeal’s eyes hum with a light more intense than they had prior to the world cleaving itself in two. What had been a mostly unobtrusive basking glow that painted the high points of his face was now molten and violent. Were he a weaker man his eyes might be watering for that reason instead. Then again if his oldest companion was a kettle then Genesis was the soot covered cauldron. They both were brighter in the eyes now, too intense to look at directly or too monstrous to try. They had been changed and it seemed even though the mortal coils wove them apart they were still at the end of it all chained in a way.  They are both performing the same act of self flagellation after all.

[wikiangela]

Summarised wip ask I was going to go

9&12 but then I saw this which made me smile (9 and 12 are still at the idea stage and don't have even a sentence

So I’ll say 1 or 3 instead 💜

all I can say about 9 and 12 are that 9 is a roommates idea where buck goes to live with eddie temporarily but then ends up staying and then they get together (I so wanna write this and tried to start many times but the words are just not flowing idk lol)

and 12 will be another possessive eddie fic but this time I wanted it to be a sfw version where eddie's a famously bad sharer who only shares stuff with buck (and chris) but is also very bad at sharing buck with people lol

1. is alive shannon - I posted a lot of snippets, but eventually it's just gonna be the three of them (Buck and Eddie and Shannon) figuring out how to co-parent together and be friends, even before buddie get together (and they will lol)

here's a lil snippet I haven't shared bc I feel like it needs some changing haha

He decides not to bring it up, aside from a subtle comment – or as subtle as he’s capable of, just a little quip about Eddie and Shannon being awfully domestic and how Buck hopes Chris won’t get his hopes up. It’s none of his business, but it’s Christopher. He’ll always do anything to make sure Christopher doesn’t suffer. And getting his hopes up only to find out all over again that his parents are breaking up would break his little heart. So Buck does say something, immediately following it up by “but it’s none of my business, sorry for butting in.” Eddie didn’t say much in response, just hummed and looked like he was pondering that for a few moments, before thanking Buck, and that was it. Later on, though, Buck could see him and Shannon trying to act more like just friends. Buck can imagine it’s hard, still loving each other but knowing it can’t work, and especially with a kid involved, but he believes they’ll make it work. And he’ll be there for whatever they need him for.  A few days later there’s a moment where he and Shannon are left alone for a while, and she takes that opportunity to thank him for saying something, too. She smiles, squeezes his hand, and adds: “I really appreciate you being there for Eddie and Christopher, being their family. Thank you, Buck, for caring about my son so much.”

and 3. is the coffee shop au! these idiots will be dancing around it for months while maddie will get a date with chimney during their first meeting, and I'm so excited for this haha

and a short snippet of that, the moment buck finds out eddie is not only a dad but also single lol (did eddie sneak in the 'single dad' in there on purpose? maybe 👀👀)

“Sorry, you don’t need to hear about my messy morning. Being a single dad has its challenges.” he chuckles again. “No, it’s fine, I- I like talking to you.” Buck hears himself say, as he slowly processes the information. Eddie has a kid. And he’s single. That’s two new pieces of information about Eddie, and they’re the most important yet. “Uh, you have a kid?” “I do. He’s seven. And my whole world.” Eddie says, face lighting up with the fondest expression, one a person gets when they talk about the most precious thing in their life. “He’s waiting for me in the car right now, I told him I’d be quick.”

my badly summarized wips

[adventuringblind]

The Journal of a Protagonist

I am currently in the process of editing and revising my novel. I’ve decided that is might be fun that instead of posting chapters to the internet, that I would post what I believe the characters would write if they had a journal.

For reference, here is a summary of the novel: In the year 2055, assassins and mercenaries are dominating the work force. Organized by what the world assumes is keeping everything from falling into chaos, has ulterior motives. Already struggling with figuring out how her existence is even possible, Nyx now has to solve the mystery of why the organizations heir is being targeted.

Together with her makeshift family, her possible new friend, and powers she doesn’t fully understand, Nyx aims to bring down the corrupt politicians and possibly herself in the process.

Warnings: this story contains graphic depictions of suicide, abuse, and violence. Some characters suffer from disorders that I do not personally have including DID, Schizophrenia, Kleptomania, and borderline personality disorder, and (not a disorder but still needs to be listed), deafness. I have done extensive research in each disorder including accurate medical terms and stories from others about how their own experiences. Not all depictions may be accurate but please note that each character is unique similar to how everyone’s experience is different no matter what you’re going through.

Please, if you are interested in seeing more, I would love to hear your thoughts! Likes and comments are appreciated but please don’t reblog

I do not give permission to repost anything regarding my ideas for this story. The characters and plot are entirely my own. It’s been years of work so please respect that it should not go anywhere else.

For more see my masterlist

I will post more later, but here is a small snippet on Nyx’s journal.

Dear book of blank pages,

William said I should write to help me understand myself more. Apparently I’m spending to much time trying to figure out my mortality situation and need a new hobby. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to write though.

I know the other’s write, each about different things. Jez writes about his anger with love poems in-between. Klee is always writing notes about her day and likes writing lists. Blythe has been coming with recipes for new ways of getting high and studies about her plants. Osiris writes book reviews in his free time. Then finally Aspen tries to make sure he keeps the line clear between what’s real and what’s not.

I guess all of us need a way to cope. William is doing his best in the circumstances, I’m aware of that, but I don’t understand why I need to find a way to cope other then figuring out how I’m possible. Letting the idea of death consume my thoughts becomes entertainment when one can’t die.

Gene mutations, electric shocks, pure luck, it could be anything really. I shouldn’t be alive. I wasn’t born. And if I’m being honest, I wish it would never would have been happened.

May next time I write I’ll be able to put more of my research down. For now though, I need to go beat Aspen at chess again.

[fridayfirefly]

Homecoming Confessions

Read Homecoming Confessions on AO3

Masterlist

Written for Maribat March Day 25 - School Dance

"Marinette. Wally. You two will be going undercover at the school. You'll be posing as a couple, which should give you an excuse for how much time you will be spending together. Be prepared to keep up your cover for a while - I can see this mission taking several months."

Marinette glanced over at Wally, who was already staring at her. She quickly looked away, flushing. Of all the people I could be fake dating for a mission, why did it have to be the one person I have a crush on?

The mission itself wasn't exactly standard. Young Justice usually dealt with the typical supervillain. However, this mission was a favor to Batman, who was investigating a remote boarding school in the Allegheny Mountains to be a cover for a money-laundering scheme concocted by the parents of many of the students enrolled. Marinette, Artemis, Wally, and Dick would all be playing the part of students in order to snoop around and gather evidence. Wally and Dick were in a suite with two other boys, while Marinette and Artemis shared a suite with two other girls.

After a month undercover, the teens had finally discovered their best chance for apprehending all involved in the money-laundering scheme. There would be a Donor Appreciation Night the same night of the Homecoming Dance, held in the Headmaster's Office for select parents who had donated above a certain threshold. It was the make-or-break night of their mission. No matter what, their time at the boarding school was up.

As much as Marinette wanted to focus on her mission, her mind always seemed to be somewhere else. It was torture to pretend to date Wally when that was all Marinette really wanted. Getting ready for the dance, Marinette reminded herself, It’s just for a mission. Nothing more, nothing less.

Beside Marinette, her dormmates were getting ready as well. Artemis was painting her nails a shade of green so dark it looked like black, Caroline was putting on eyeliner with the focus and precision of a neurosurgeon, and Betty was cursing as she tried to squeeze her feet into too-tight heels.

"I swear my feet grow half a size every time I go off to school. As soon as I can't buy a new pair of Jimmy Choo's, none of the ones I already own fit anymore," complained Betty.

"I think that we have a similar size. You could borrow a pair of mine, if you'd like," offered Marinette. In truth, she would be glad to get rid of some of her shoes. To blend it at the school, her wardrobe had been given a very expensive makeover. Marinette loved fashion, but even she felt uncomfortable with how

Betty brightened up right away. "I love your closet, Marinette. If my Dad wasn't so strict about my spending money, I would have a closet like yours. Could I borrow that pair of Miu Miu heels your parents sent you last week?"

"Sure." It was good luck that Betty asked for that pair of shoes. Batman had fitted a select number of shoes with listening devices, hoping that if Marinette lingered outside of doors, the shoes might catch snippets of conversation slipping out from under the door. The Miu Miu heels were one of those select pairs. If Betty's parents were involved (which, after a little snooping through Betty's laptop, Marinette was almost certain that they were) and Betty knew about it, there was a chance that the heels could be used to gather evidence.

"When is Wally coming to pick you up?" asked Caroline.

Caroline and Betty had both been very supportive of Marinette's very fake relationship. "He's coming at seven with my corsage."

"I wish I were getting a corsage," sighed Caroline. "I'm so jealous of you. I hate being single."

"Than you shouldn't have dumped Michael two weeks before the Homecoming Dance," criticized Betty.

"I didn't want him in any of my group photos," Caroline defended herself.

"Fair point, fair point." Betty shrugged.

Marinette giggled at the antics of her friends. "Can someone help me get the button on the back of my dress?" There was one tiny silver button right at the nape of her neck that Marinette could never reach.

"Sure." Artemis leaned across the bathroom counter to get the button.

The dress was custom made - but not by Marinette. Marinette secretly hated the dress, though she cooed over it along with the rest of her dormmates. It was navy blue with silver accents, and it had a microphone sewn into it, so well hidden that not even Marinette, with her knowledge of its existence, could find it.

A knock at the door startled Marinette from her thoughts. She rushed to get her shoes on, slipping her feet into the two-inch heels. "Does my hair look okay?"

Caroline nodded. "It looks absolutely perfect. Wally will be drooling over you all night long."

Marinette forced herself to giggle at the comment, even though she knew it was false. Wally would spend the night playing the part of the doting boyfriend for the mission. He would tell her that she looked beautiful and he would be lying. Marinette wanted to cry over how unfair it was to watch the boy she liked pretending to like her back.

Marinette opened the door. Wally stood behind it, holding the corsage in his hand. It was at that moment that Marinette realized she had never seen Wally in a suit before. He tugged at his collar uncomfortably, but still smiled when his eyes landed on Marinette. "You look beautiful, Marinette."

Exactly as Marinette had predicted. She forced a smile on her face, hoping that it looked genuine enough to fool her dormmates. "Thank you. You look very dashing in a suit."

"Hey Rudolph, I didn't think you knew how to tie a tie," Artemis raised an eyebrow. Artemis and Wally had been playing the part of cousins at the boarding school, their cover being that their education was being funded by their wealthy Grandfather.

"Dick tied it," Wally grumbled. He then whispered to Marinette, "I might be ditching the tie. I think Dick might be trying to strangle me with this."

Marinette giggled, whispering back, "I have a clip-on in my closet. It won't match my dress, but I can live with that if it means you're alive and breathing."

"You're a lifesaver, Mari."

Marinette's heart gave a flutter as he called her by her nickname. He had started using it in public right when they began the school year, to convince everyone that they were dating. However, when it was just the Young Justice team, Wally always called her by her full name. It was just another reminder that their relationship was all an act.

Marinette went into her room and started digging through her closet. As she searched for the clip-on tie, Artemis entered the room, lingering at the closet doors. "What were you and Wally whispering about?"

Marinette replied, "We decided to replace his tie with a clip-on."

Artemis raised an eyebrow, her tone dripping with sarcasm, "Sure."

"Artemis, I've told you a million times. Wally and I are fake dating."

"There is nothing fake about the way he looks at you," Artemis continued stubbornly.

"I already told you the truth. Just because you don't believe me doesn't mean it's not true."

"I know for a fact that there is something between the two of you."

Marinette sighed. Damn Artemis for being so persistent. "Fine. You're right that there are some feelings involved, but they aren't Wally's. I'm the one who has a crush on him, not the other way around."

Artemis looked shocked. "Really? I could have sworn..." Artemis stopped herself, a devious look growing on her face. Marinette could tell that she was scheming up some sort of plan.

"We just need to get through this one dance, and then we're done fake dating for good. Please, don't interfere," Marinette begged.

"Alright, but only if you promise that you'll tell Wally you like him. It doesn't have to be tonight, but you do have to tell him."

"Fine," agreed Marinette. With no time limit on the promise, who was to say when Marinette would tell Wally. After all, plenty of people confessed life-altering secrets on their deathbed.

By the time the group made it down to the banquet hall, the Homecoming Dance was in full swing. Pop music was blasting through every speaker in the room, and Marinette winced at the volume of noise.

Using the loud music as cover, Wally whispered in Marinette's ear. "Dick's already in position. He found a way up into the vents, so he has a good position to listen in on whatever is said in the Headmaster's Office."

"Good. I'll go find the best window to view the Headmaster's Office from, to make sure we can keep track of everyone going in and out."

Wally nodded. "I'll catch Artemis up to speed, and then I'll join you."

Marinette scouted out the tables at the edge of the dance floor, eventually finding one that had both a view out the window of the entrance to the Headmaster's Office and a view of both entrances to the banquet hall that the dance was held in. A minute later, Artemis approached, dragging Wally along beside her.

"I'll watch the entrances. You two need to go dance. It'll look weird if you don't," said Artemis.

Artemis was correct, but that didn't stop Marinette from feeling a little indignant about being bossed around.

Wally just shrugged, seemingly unaffected by Artemis's bossy tone. "You ready to dance, Mari?"

Marinette froze, searching for the words. "Uh, sure."

Marinette was prepared to dance along to a pop song. Marinette was prepared to pretend that it didn't pain her to pretend. What Marinette wasn't prepared for was the slow song that came on - a song that could only be danced to with a slow dance.

"I guess we'll have to slow dance," said Wally with a shrug. His tone was light, but there was an edge behind it. Marinette assumed that he felt uncomfortable dancing with a girl he considered just a friend.

"I guess so."

Marinette tried not to be stiff in his arms. She was acutely aware that this moment would have been perfect if it were real.

"You can relax, you know," Wally said as if his words were a joke, but his voice was flat.

"Sorry." Marinette forced the stiffness out of her joints, swaying in his arms.

Wally sighed. "I know this isn't ideal, but at least it's over after tonight."

"Yeah." Marinette couldn't keep the frown off of her face. Though it would be nice to stop pretending, Marinette was disappointed to know that she would never dance with Wally again.

Wally grimaced. "It's one more night. You don't have to look so miserable. I'm not that bad to spend time around, am I?"

Marinette's eyes widened. Wally had interpreted her disappointment over their relationship being over as something else entirely. "No. I-"

"Whatever," sighed Wally, pushing her away as the song winded down. He walked off the dance floor and toward the table, leaving Marinette behind.

"It's not what you think," protested Marinette, rushing after him to explain. "I'm upset that we only have one more night."

Wally looked shocked. "What do you mean?"

"I like spending time with you. I like you, Wally. It's so hard to pretend to date you when that's all I really want."

"Why did you never tell me?" asked Wally.

"Because I know you don't feel the same way about me. If I can't have you as my boyfriend, I at least wanted to have you as my friend."

"You think I don't feel the same way about you? Dick and Roy make fun of me for my crush on you all the time, how have you never noticed?"

Now it was Marinette's turn to be shocked. "Wait, you're telling me that you have a crush on me too?"

"Yes!" exclaimed Wally. "I thought you already knew about my crush and were ignoring it. I never brought it up because I didn't want to make things uncomfortable between us."

Marinette shook her head in exasperation. "This whole time we were both keeping our feelings a secret and it was making us miserable, and it was all for nothing."

Wally groaned. "We're so stupid, aren't we?"

"Yep," chimed in Artemis, who had snuck up behind them. "But we don't have time to unpack that. Cars have started parking out front. I think the meeting will be starting soon. I'm going out to document their license plates and plant trackers on the cars. I need you two in position to assist Dick if he needs it."

"Got it." Marinette grabbed Wally by the hand and started leading him to the door. It took them no time at all to get to the Headmaster's Office, but once they were there they needed a plan. "How are we going to remain inconspicuous?"

"Like this." Wally pulled Marinette into an alcove, giving her direct line of sight of the door to the Headmaster's Office. "If anyone catches us, the worst we'll get is detention - which we won't even have to serve, given that we're leaving after tonight."

"Good idea." Marinette stared up into Wally's eyes. "Now that we're alone again..."

The buzz of a text message distracted Marinette from Wally. It was Dick, on the team's encrypted line.

Dick: The meeting is wrapping up. Marinette and Wally, you two need to get away from the Headmaster's Office as soon as possible. I recorded enough evidence to convict, so we don't need to stay any longer. Everyone head back to the dorms and get changed. We leave in 20 minutes.

Marinette: See you in 20.

"I guess it's time to go." Wally looked disappointed, even though their mission had been a complete success.

"Don't worry, Wally. I have a sneaking suspicion that this won't be the last night of us dating." Marinette pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, then twisted out from behind him. "See you in twenty!"

Marinette turning around just before she turned the corner to get one last look at Wally. His face was lit up with a goofy smile, and Marinette couldn't help but laugh. More than one mission was a success that night.

@maribatmarch-2k21

[listless-brainrot]

Hi! I know you love Haru and I'd love to hear your thoughts on what his personality is like? Not his bending or his ships, but just what kind of person he is. He was super undeveloped in ATLA and I'd love to understand him better and write about him!

hey, i'm glad you asked!! super flattering to have you come to me in regards to this question, and i've analyzed this guy to hell and back over the course of nearly a year now, so i'd be more than happy to give you my characterization of him

granted, it's pretty lengthy, and is heavily based on canon, hence why a lot of it ties to his bending, but i'll try my best to make it so that it's more about haru as a person, rather than his service to the plot

also makes me super happy to hear that people do want to understand and write about him!! that really does mean the world to me particularly, so thank you <3

with all of this in mind, here's a collection of my (pretty lengthy, sorry about that) thoughts:

haru being super undeveloped is actually one of the reasons why i find him so compelling- there’s so much you can do with a character of his caliber because there’s not much canon/supplementary material that can discredit your characterizations. canon, however, does actually supply a characterization of him that i’ve managed to compile and accrue over the course of finding nearly every single little detail i can find pertaining to him. this includes his canon episodes in both book 1 and 3, the videogame he appears in (which is straight up called avatar: the last airbender), and even the silly shorts.

(mild disclaimer, i know full well that the latter two i mentioned are considered non canon, but i like incorporating little bits and pieces of what they have to offer, as i don’t really have any other options. also, the videogames are the only supplementary material where he’s treated as a part of the gaang, so it’s the most personality you’ll ever get.)

i’ll start with main characteristics i try to keep in mind when writing him, and then talk about smaller, more innocuous details that i just find particularly fitting for him.

haru is:

emotionally driven. a lot of his decisions are more driven by emotion, rather than logic. this ties in with his impulsivity and morality. he’s aggravated by his position in the village as the only earthbender left, and this culminates into him still bending discreetly despite the inherent risk. he does this not only for himself, but to preserve the (possibly only) emotional connection he has to his arrested father. this is a similarity he shares with katara, who’s emotionally tied to her mother due to losing her, and haru is the one to understand what that loss really means in this interaction: “this necklace is all i have left of her.” “it’s not enough, is it?” by saying this instead of an apology or some other response, he shows that the feeling of loss she’s experiencing is mutually understood in a way that goes beyond just sympathy. there is nothing that will replace who you’ve lost other than the person themselves, and he understand that more than anyone. it’s also implied that haru doesn’t know if his father is still alive, as no one knows where the prisoners go, but it’s clear that he still holds a sort of hope that he’s somewhere out there, and that keeps him going. it just takes a little bit of outside influence for him to fully believe in that, as well as being reunited with his father again. in general, he’s also pretty receptive of other’s emotions, and is quick to come to their aid.

impulsive. not just impulsive, either- he’s got anger and resentment lying beneath his quiet composure. it’s not as bad as characters such as zuko’s, but it’s still worth mentioning. i’ll mention the impulse part first, though- generally speaking, haru reacts faster than he thinks. upon being spotted practicing his bending by katara, he runs away without pausing to consider the harmful repercussions of being found out (nor followed home). he not only runs away from danger as a first instinct, he also runs towards it in some cases, ironically enough- he’s the first one to notice and immediately run towards the mines once he hears/sees the explosion and suspects that someone’s in trouble. he does this without any prompting by katara, even if the act of actually saving the old man needed some egging on from her in order for him to accomplish. his impulsivity comes to a head in the form of his most dangerous act- him attacking the warden. i’ve already elaborated on that specific interaction here, though i will once again emphasize that haru had absolutely no plans past attacking the warden based on his body language, further fueling the idea that this was just a split second decision, one made on nothing but complete and utter impulse. to bring the anger aspect into this, he’s also unable to hold his tongue and insults the fire nation soldiers and even his town once the former leaves, and his instincts swing wildly between running and fighting on a dime with little in-between.

adaptable. instead of completely shutting down in the face of such a negative situation (and over the course of five years, no less), he brings it upon himself to practice bending, accept his role as man of the house and work in both the shop and on the farm, and other responsibilities that go unmentioned, especially when taking into account that his father is apparently the leader of his village. this is where you could start paralleling him well to sokka, which i have done before, but i will make this more haru-oriented. there is definitely a lot more to be inferred with this particular aspect of him, but i will say that it takes someone of strong will to adapt to the situations presented in his episode, and learning to live with the grim reality of fire nation occupation. to run down what we see again- soldiers freely patrolling the villages, soldiers overtaxing the villagers, soldiers entering wherever they wish unannounced, soldiers stealing away people in the night without much resistance, soldiers forcing villagers to work in the coal mines to gather the coal needed for their ships, and soldiers forcing captured earthbenders to build fire nation ships. this is all off of the top of my head, so i could be missing a lot, but again, seeing haru still be as morally oriented and determined as he is after all of this, it’s pretty impressive and telling of his adaptive capabilities. to take this one step further, he’s also extremely adaptable when it comes to working with others, as in the games he fills his role as a necessary component of the gaang without conflicting sokka or other preexisting roles, and in book 3, he finds his place amongst teo and the duke, taking the most initiative amongst the three.

lonely. a snippet from his personality bio on avatarspirit.net calls him “lonely and brave”, and i think that’s especially fitting for his character. he only had his mom for five whole years after every other earthbender was taken away, and this is without mentioning the ostracization he faced simply being one, given how the fire nation constantly demoralizes his country’s benders and likens them to savages. the village he lives in also appears to be full of old folks, so it’s not very likely that he had friends his age that were even in town, especially if we consider the circumstances of following book 2 episodes with the earth army recruiters. (it’s also unlikely that his friends are alive if they did join the army- take a gander at this line from zuko alone: Gow: Just thought someone ought to tell you, your son's battalion got captured. You boys hear what the Fire Nation did with their last group of Earth Kingdom prisoners? Soldier: Dressed them up in Fire Nation uniforms and put them on the frontline unarmed, way I heard it.  Then they just watched.) furthermore, it’s not likely that haru could’ve left his little village prior to its occupation- the games imply he’d been to omashu previously, but the circumstances of the war make this unlikely, unless he was super young. given his not always pleasant attitude and sullen expression we sometimes see him with, it’s not hard to imagine that the effects of him being so alone without the connections he needs has affected him deeply.

some other things:

-he’s horrible at lying (”they’re crazy! i mean, just look at how they’re dressed” is that really the best excuse you could’ve come up with??). -he doesn’t like keeping his hands/arms still (arms are usually crossed, sometimes gestures as he talks, hands usually balled as if expecting a fight). -he’s pretty outwardly expressive (for someone who’s supposed to be hiding most of the time, he tends to wear his emotions/intentions on his sleeve). -he can’t bite his tongue (especially when it comes to something that goes against his personal beliefs). -he doesn’t know how to react to touch (katara hugging him takes him by surprise both times, and he doesn’t reciprocate often, if anything he reacts stiffly) -he’s particular about his appearance (notably in the games, he makes negative comments about people touching his hair, and there’s also. sokka’s comments in book 3. sigh.) -he’s considered dangerous/sensitive by others (note sokka’s comments in book 1, and katara’s comments in the school time shipping short) -he lives a busy personal life (works both in the family shop and on the family farm, and has probably had to work in the coal mines at some point, though this is speculative) -he’s not above poking/having fun (in the games, he’s not above making fun of sokka and his comments about benders, and jumps at the opportunity to ride the omashu mail chutes) -he’s family oriented (count how many times he talks about his parents, it is many times i assure you, it’s important to note that he’s one of the few atla characters to actually have both parents as well as a decent relationship with them) -he has a tendency to idealize. he talks about his father fighting against the fire nation even when horribly outnumbered. it wouldn’t be surprising if he idealized the ideal of rebellion (which would later bite him given that:) -he’s a part of the first successful earth kingdom rebellion. this is mentioned on the wiki, and is unfortunately not shown in the show. it should’ve been, though. -he’s dramatic. he has an entire cliff he brings katara up to just to be dramatic and spill his sad backstory. he needs to be encouraged to save the old man, but he does it in the most dramatic way possible- he really didn’t have to stop the entire avalanche AND push it back into the mines. drama king. -he is very lucky. this can apply to anyone who encounters the gaang, but honestly, given his personality and a few things i’ve mentioned above, it’s a miracle that he’d survived as long as he did without detection nor suspicion. -he’s creative. (this one is much more speculative, but he does create huge statues of katara and ty lee pretty quickly, maybe he’s done similar things before)

to summarize: he’s a lonely impulsive idealist who isn’t afraid to throw hands if necessary and is also very attached to his dad <3 his connection to his dad makes up at least 75% of his personality

[life-rewritten]

THE DIFFERENT FORMS OF HUACHENG; TGCF SEASON 1

TGCF just ended, and I just wanted to cry because I'm going to miss this show for a while until we're ready for season 2. Good news Season 2 has been announced and is in production so maybe end of this year? Hopefully? One can hope. Anyways because we're saying goodbye for a while, I decided to focus my review on Hua  Cheng this time. The many ways he has shown up in Season 1, the many encounters he had with Xie Lian who doesn't even know how long he's been by his side, the many forms he used to stay and help Xie Lian. In TGCF, Hua Cheng's appearances in Xie Lian’s life is essential because of his constant devotion and ambition to ensure that Xie Lian is protected, safe and happy. Hua Cheng shows up each time to an oblivious Xie Lian who only has been introduced to the knowledge of one form of him, San Lang in season 1. But what about us the audience, we've seen Cheng as a child in the first episode, in the intro, we've seen him as San Lang, and we've also been introduced slightly to his natural form, the Hua Cheng Ghost King form. So let's look into it more, how has each state been connected to Xie Lian and what have we been shown or told so far about the building relationship between our ghost king and our god. 

The Different Versions of Hua Cheng

So the first thing we need to break down is the similarities of each of his forms and their different meanings to his character dynamic and arc concerning his and Xie Lian's love story. So as mentioned before there are three different versions of him we're introduced to:

The Child: We see him in a desolated state, with bandages surrounding his face, blood and he's in tears looking forlorn at Xie Lian who also has given up on something throwing away his umbrella and face darkened and walking away, probably to a small shack. We also see this child more importantly connected to our story because he's the first version of Hua Cheng in our origin of these two's meeting. He's saved by Xie Lian who completely stuns him and gives him the meaning to life again. We see snippets of this version of him in flashbacks and in the opening intro because TGCF is a story that is planning to unveil the years of Hua Cheng's devotion to  Xie Lian, the reasons, the actions made, and the consequences created from it in the past. 

San Lang: Number two we get to see San Lang, he's the version we spend the most time within season 1, knowing and having suspicions that he's Hua Cheng. San Lang is a mortal and meant to be a teen; he's wise for his age, aloof, and sly. And he's made it an aim to accompany  Xie Lian on his journey to getting followers again. There's more to San Lang that meets the eye, he has a convoluted back story (which is backshadowing the truth of his past) he tells Xie Lian, and he's very loyal and protective of Xie Lian. Xie Lian gets to become close to this version of Hua Cheng; this is the version he trusts the most and is the person who becomes someone he cares a lot about unconditionally.

Crimson Rain Sought Flower/ Ghost King the most dangerous and scariest and wealthy demon/devastation ghost in the story.  Xie Lian is first warned away from him because the gods are not on good terms with him. But  Xie Lian can't help but wonder if he's more than meets the eye because they meet under a blood rain as bride and groom. Hua Cheng shows up in his real form to guide  Xie Lian to safety. This version shows up again in the Sinner's pit in the Banyue arc in episode 9. After San Lang jumps in a sacrificial move, Hua Cheng eliminates everybody ruthlessly in the Sinner's pit and shows up again to fight Pei Xu to protect  Xie Lian in episode 11. This version is the real Hua Cheng, he has one eye, he is cold, ruthless, but also he's made it clear he wants to protect and is on the lookout for Xie Lian. By the end of season 1, Lian chooses to ignore the rumours and become close with him despite the warnings. 

Age, Status, and Love; The growth of Hua Cheng

The first thing to notice about these versions of Hua Cheng is that they all have a way of shadowing how he's grown and his journey to Xie Lian. From a child who's naive and innocent and is traumatised by events in the world, to a teen who is not taken as seriously, is wiser and mature and able to fend for himself, to the Ghost King who is who he is at present, his real self after many years, who is now powerful, in control and older but also not alive.

 And the second thing to notice is the difference of status and wealth depicted with his versions;  as a child even though we aren't shown the details, we can see that he's not rich, he's dressed in rags, and he's bandaged poorly and looks like he has nothing. As San Lang, he's able to fend for himself and Xie Lian by collecting scraps and rebuilding their first place together, and with Ghost King, you can tell he's wealthy, he's dressed in the finest of robes, silver dangling from everywhere you look, and we know from Ling Wen; he's affluent. So another observation to notice. 

The last thing to notice with these versions is the one common motif, Xie Lian. Xie Lian is also seen in different versions/ forms to us each time Hua Cheng shows up.

 We see  Xie Lian in the child's eyes as a prince; golden, lavish and beautiful, he's dressed in the finest attire but also we see that Lian is the person who flies to save this child from either falling or jumping to his end. (still, we can't be sure why he was falling), 

But then with San Lang, Xie Lian is undercover as a mortal (though it's pretty apparent to guess he's not) without power, followers or any self-esteem (from his comments) and wealth. But with San Lang, Xie Lian is vulnerable and shown to be more lonely and filled with self-deprecation but is determined to protect everyone he comes across, which makes him more self-sacrificial. 

As Ghost King, we see Xie Lian on a mission as a god, untrusting, capable, and very cunning and intuitive, he wears a mask (literally wearing a veil) of happiness, ease,  but he's alert and ready to defend and knows how to avoid being caught by his enemies. 

Unconditional Devotion; The Love of Hua Cheng

In all versions, Hua Cheng shows us that he has with Xie Lian some kind of devotion and love:

As a child: His eyes light up for the first time, he follows after him (inferred from the intro and episode 1) and watches helplessly as he can't do anything to protect him at that moment. You can feel the determination, the longing, and the urgency in each scene he's shown watching after  Xie Lian as Xie Lian gives up on himself. 

As San Lang: He guides and protects Xie Lian, he stays by his side loyally and prevents Xie Lian from getting into harm's way using information that he knows. You can feel that he knows how Xie Lian is self-sacrificial, and he's here to protect and keep Xie Lian from being puppeteered or played around by others.

 As Ghost King: He is deadly when it comes to Xie Lian, he kills and destroys and doesn't waste time with others, he's also protective of where Xie Lian touches, he doesn't want him soiled by blood or anything ( using either an umbrella to protect him when they first meet, or cradling him to ensure his foot doesn't meet the ground). He's determined to get rid of anything that could hurt Xie Lian or make him suffer, and he does it through violence. 

And even though Xie Lian doesn't have any recognition of who he is yet in his life, in every version Xie Lian has also shown protection and care for Hua Cheng unconditionally which is embedded in his personality.

 He saves his life as the child, (just like he positively affects other children like Banyue who look up to him), he is determined to protect and make sure San Lang is safe. It terrifies him to think otherwise, and he accepts Hua Cheng unconditionally after realising who he is. 

He also shows awe and intrigue with all things, Hua Cheng, whilst others call him terrifying  Xie Lian says his name suits him because it's pretty when he sees his butterflies he's in awe and automatically wants to follow them because they make him feel at ease despite the fact that those butterflies can probably without his knowledge kill and maim. When he notices others may notice who Cheng is at the pit, he's worried but at ease to see him hidden as San Lang again, and he finally tells him; he doesn't care who he is because he's a friend.

 Xie Lian; The Goal of Hua Cheng

For Xie Lian he's realised there's unconditional care and like and reliance for Hua Cheng, it's automatic and he can't stop feeling safe and at ease with him. Despite his first time meeting San Lang and being suspicious, it took him an ox ride to find out he liked and was intrigued by San Lang even if he was Hua Cheng. He liked how he spoke, he liked his wisdom, and he enjoyed spending time with him. It became natural to rely on his protection, his touch, and his information each journey they went on. 

 And with Hua Cheng in all his versions there's that unconditional need to protect, devotion and determination to stay by Xie Lian's side. After all, that's where this started, him being affected by Xie Lian saving his life. We can guess he took it literally and made it a reality, though now we wonder how he went from a human child to being dead yet a mighty ghost king. 

 In a way we see Hua Cheng show up and start making Xie Lian find reasons for living too. Not that it's apparent that he doesn't want to live; that he's full of self-loathing and self-sacrificial tendencies. Hua Cheng seemed to be as San Lang, one of the first people who showed Xie Lian unconditional loyalty and support despite not seeing himself as deserving of it. Hua Cheng may not be his reason for living, but Hua Cheng is his reason for why he gets to live; many times Hua Cheng's protection is to keep Xie Lian from being hurt; the snake scorpion venom, the Sinner's pit, the Pei Xu and snakes, the head on the ground filled with demonic energy and Xuan Ji. Hua Cheng shows up as groom the first time we see him, and he leads Xie Lian to protection to the place he needs to go to know what's going on with the brides. With his determination, experience (giving Xie Lian information) and power Hua Cheng protects and pushes Xie Lian to keep staying safe and alive knowing someone does not see him as worthless or a misfortune. 

Ghost vs Human: The Disguise of Hua Cheng

It makes you wonder this need of why Hua Cheng does hide in many forms; why does he not make Xie Lian know that they've known each other for so long? why does he hide as San Lang and not his true form since Xie Lian doesn't know who he is, and why does he keep his true form out of sight from Xie Lian. He's determined to hide his natural form because showing it would lead to opportunities of weakness.

 As we can see from just his child self Hua Cheng was determined to do something, to become more so he could be of help, payback Xie Lian for saving his life, and become his reason to live. So he probably can not let any weakness affect him; he probably has built up protection of himself so no one can reach him so that no one can reach Xie Lian. His aim is to be a safeguard for Xie Lian, an impenetrable, protective and robust protection. People seeing his real form is a lead way to vulnerability and weakness. Him protecting how he looks makes him even more of a scarier person to deal with because you don't know his real self or strength fully.

 It also gives him a way to be by  Xie Lian's side without anyone knowing his goals; he does this as San Lang, shows a different version of himself which is more acceptable and less conflicting to be by Xie Lian's side. A mortal can be seen as a worshiper, a friend and a helper. But a ghost king by a god side is more looked down upon. We see this when Fu Yao and Nan Feng try to uncover who he is. Xie Lian has been warned that he should stay away from Ghost King version, and maybe Hua Cheng also thinks that version should not be known, or seen or met. With how scary and dangerous he seems, (he's known for his harmful actions, he also took out his own eye as he puts it because of insanity, he has incredibly deadly weapons and he's someone heaven is terrified of). Hua Cheng may think Xie Lian won't give him a chance to know him. But of course, he discovers that  Xie Lian doesn't care about that. 

Ghost King: The Past of Hua Cheng

The different forms of Hua Cheng we see as the audience showcases other assets to his mindset, we've seen him weak, vulnerable, and lost without Xie Lian when he was a child, there was a time where he was the most scared of everything,  a time where he probably had no control over whatever he wanted, a time where he was filled with despair and obliqueness, but Xie Lian showed up as a light, the same way Hua Cheng shows up in Xie Lian's life in season 1 as a guide, they both shift their mindsets and determination to be better and succeed.  

That's why his growth to becoming Ghost King is fascinating; he's become the opposite of his childhood self, he's no longer mortal and human, ( as we see with his other two versions) he's seen as ruthless and cold to anyone who bothers him or Xie Lian. It's not an easy feat; it must have taken a lot of pain, and suffering to get to who he is, for him even to become a devastation he would have needed to be filled with resentful energy, this means that he also is someone full of grief and suffering as  Xie Lian who hides his behind his mask of an easygoing and cheerful nature. 

Hua Cheng hides his behind strength and power, they both have scars and secrets hidden needed to uncover to know why they have become this way, but one thing stays for sure, and that's that Xie Lian and Hua Cheng both become healing to each other from their past scars. Xie Lian becomes Hua Cheng's sole reason to live, devoting himself to Xie Lian is what's making him good and not broken. Xie Lian on the other hand, Cheng becomes someone who makes him want to accept himself, Hua Cheng is someone who becomes a healing presence to him, he's happier, comfortable and safer by his side, and he knows this. Hence, he lets himself be pulled to him, carried and protected by him, he's shocked by it, but you can see it affects him each time Hua Cheng does something to protect him as San Lang. 

In a world where we are focusing on gods and demons and ghosts, Xie Lian and Hua Cheng seem oddly incompatible; the gods look down on the ghost kings because of their actions and because they're closer to evil or immoral actions. Xie Lian as a god is meant to be moral, just and higher than others, including mortals, and so being with the most powerful ghost king and slowly falling for him probably isn't a great idea. What matters now is how long these two have been near each other, how has both the journey of them affected the other, Hua Cheng is entirely devoted to Xie Lian even after his passing and resurrection as a ghost king, and that's interesting, he has been watching and keeping an eye on Xie Lian who's oblivious and has more things to focus on than that, Xie Lian has a past which he feels guilt, self-hatred and fear from, it's slowly being revealed, and it's fascinating to watch it. 

Hua Cheng also has many interesting actions he's made that also need a reason or explanation, like why he has one eye, what made him become a ghost king, why he aimed for an attack at the gods, and his real purpose with Xie Lian? It's been an amazing time watching this season. I can't wait to find out more about these two's journey and love story. The undying loyalty and devotion to each other despite being so far apart for time is fascinating. I can't wait to see season 2. 

[thesunshinebunny]

Can you please do headcanons for what the twisted wonderland boys would do if their girlfriends ex showed up wanting her back?

Uh… .ALL OF THEM ???? Are you serious ?? Oh My God !!!! Ummmmmmmm, OK, I’LL DO MY BEST, but I think it’s about time I started putting character limits because this is going to be difficult.

IT WAS INSANEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE For obvious reasons I didn’t include Ortho, so I hope this is still to your liking

Riddle

He tried to make the meeting as smooth and consistent as possible.

He is the dorm leader, he has to be the example of maturity and consistency in dealing with women.

He tried for more than half an hour to dispel the insults towards him and politely asked them to get out of Hearstlabyul, but when your ex started talking about you… oh boiiii

Our Queen is pisseeeeeeeeed.

Indispensably if your ex had magic or not, it’ll be OF WITH THEIR HEAD.

Had to ask not only to Trey and Cater but also the dynamic duo to escort them out.

Treat him with little sweetness and a cup of coffee, our redhead will thank you.

"I love you, and I will always be by your side as long as you want to have me with you"

Trey

The personified knight. Outside of joking, at no point did he get upset or ask them to leave in a rude manner.

He handled the situation calmly and when your ex finished speaking, that was when his face changed radically.

Yes, the knight in shining armor was quite a facade.

He gave your ex a gloomy look and in a low tone commented that they were not welcome at Heartslabyul, much less NRC and that they had to leave if they didn’t want to end up with a broken leg.

SHOOK.

Both of you spent the night baking cakes and watching bad movies, even though what Trey really cared the most was spending the night with you, snuggled between his sheets.

"I may have reacted in a somewhat terrifying way, but believe me when I tell you that that look will never be directed at you"

Cater

Our dear orange haired man here didn't take it very well. It was one of the few moments in which his face or voice had not the hint of happiness and amusement that characterized him so much.

He may have used his unique magic to intimidate your ex… I mean, if a mildly angry Cater doesn't do any good, I guess five will work.

Indispensably whether it worked or not, you could always call in the dynamic duo to get your ex out of the way.

Spoiler alert: it wasn’t necessary the one neuron duo, with the five Caters it was more than enough.

Before they left the dorm, he took a selfie as not in a mockery mode and uploaded it to his social medias.

“Do you want to appear in the photo? So I can show the world how beautiful you are, how lucky I am to have you and how stupid your ex was to show up at school "

Ace

Another one who lost his temper, but just when the person in front of him said it was your ex.

Don't overthink it, he just made an angry face because he already knew what your ex was up to, and he didn't like it one bit.

Believe it or not, Ace didn't hold on to the punches with them. No, he simply told them that he had no intention of letting you go and immediately sent them flying with his magic.

For the last thing, he told them not to bother trying, turned around and went to where you were to give you a long, possessive kiss in front of your ex.

"I maaaay have been a bit possessive, but I don't want you to leave my side"

Deuce

He threw a cauldron at their head ... jocking ... or not?

Nah, nah, I'm kidding, but he did come close to throwing his famous cauldron at them and leaving them squashed like a figurine.

Lowkey rogue mode activated.

It may have scared you a little, but it didn't have much of an effect.

Your ex didn't leave you alone until Deuce punched him across the face, screaming for them to leave you alone.

You have to get out of the crime scene before any teacher comes.

Ashamed of himself. Maybe the way of resolution he had was not the best, but it was effective and you were grateful for that.

You gave him a sweet kiss on the cheek and told him everything was fine, that he didn't have to worry about anything; he was your knight in shining armor.

“Sorry, anger washed over me again. I couldn't bear the idea of you being taken away from me "

Leona

Man, this one acted out of pure pride. A stranger grabbing his beloved herbivore? Ohhhh noooo, honey, you messed with the wrong lion and prince.

This is one of the few times he wouldn't send Ruggie in to fix it. No. He would stand tall and beat this motherfucker ass.

You'll have to stop him before he turns your ex to sand, and I'm not kidding this time.

The very thought of someone taking his girlfriend from him drove him wild.

With your ex out of reach, and scared for life, he will demand cuddles and a nap.

He won't admit it, but Leona was afraid for a moment of losing you. You are his, and no one else's.

“I will not let anyone take you from my arms. I will protect you no matter what”

Ruggie

Used Laught with me, no discussion.

And there was no discussion with your ex. He just saw them with you, heard snippets that they wanted you back, that they wanted a second chance, blah blah blah ... and that was it, unique magic in action.

You got disoriented for a moment when you saw your ex walking strangely towards the exit, but when you heard the famous giggle of your boyfriend you knew immediately what was happening.

Let's be honest, in all it was a pretty funny image.

Ruggie stayed by your side all afternoon in the Savanaclaw lounge room playing and splashing in the water.

"I may be a possessive and territorial hyena, but this hyena is at your complete mercy"

Jack

Nothing like a good roar to scare away any predator that intends to stick its nose into other's prey.

Just kidding, Jack would never consider you prey, you are his significant other and that means he must protect you from any danger.

Wolf mode activated to the surprise of your ex.

He growled until their figure could not be seen on the horizon… lowkey cute as fuck.

Give him cuddles in this form, he would really appreciate it… he really would love your hands caressing his soft fur.

Record a video of his tail wagging, just for science.

“I figured you were uncomfortable and couldn't think of anything else to get your ex off your back. Now come with me, I want to caress you correctly"

Azul

Believe me when I tell you that the appearance of your ex not only irritated Azul, but also brought him insecurities that he thought were already buried under the ground.

The fact that a stranger appeared at the doors of the Mostro Lounge with an air of melodrama was enough for our octopus to go out to meet them directly, thinking they was just another customer ... an annoying customer, to tell the truth.

But when they started yelling for your presence, demanding that you come back to them, oh ... Yeah, this so-called customer is now banned from entering.

He let Floyd and Jade take care of them.

Like Riddle, give him love and a few sweets, he needs it. He really needs affection.

He needs to hear your voice, to remind him that you are with him now. He wants to hear you say that he is the only person in your world right now and that you would not leave him for nothing.

“I'm a silly octopus who got tangled in your arms and not the other way around. Only you give me the comfort that I've been looking for so much "

Jade

Your ex must have some balls of steel to even be close to Jade and plan to face him to have you back ... this guy has a suicidal desire.

Jade's appearance was not only scary, but his way of talking and engaging in conversation with your ex was what made them run out of the Mostro Lounge.

But you were already more than used to his characterization as an intimidating person.

Bring him a basket full of multiple mushrooms from the botanical garden, he will appreciate it.

And maybe also a glass container to create a little mini environment for those mushrooms… both of you will have a nice time together, maybe the whole night putting it together.

"You are my favorite starfish and I cannot allow any sea thorn to monopolize your beauty"

Floyd

Even having the same calm expression as Jade when he saw your ex, it didn't last long. The moment your name came out of their mouth, Floyd's face broke.

You remember in episode 3 when he asks Adeuce braincell to shut up, well… that same expression.

By this time, Floyd was no longer as calm as his brother; in fact, he went directly to squeeze them.

If you paid close attention you could hear how the ribs were cracking little by little. Good thing you were there to stop Floyd.

Your ex stalked to the exit as they was nearly squeezed alive and Floyd gave you a grin from ear to ear as if he had done nothing wrong.

"I protect what is mine, no one has the right to take my shrimpy from my side"

Kalim

At first this ray of sunshine didn't even know what was happening, he thought they were just looking for you to chat, to keep up.

But when he heard this strange person exclaim that they wanted you back… he was still just as lost, but not in an innocent way.

He went to where you were to give you a big hug in front of your ex. He may have looked cute and adorable, but unconsciously Kalim was marking his territory.

Kindly asked your ex to leave the dorm and not make any more advances, they were making you uncomfortable, and if you were uncomfortable he was uncomfortable.

He gave you butterfly kisses when the situation calmed down. Give him kisses back, he needs them.

“You love me, right? Because I love you very much, and my love cannot be compared with anything in the world, and yours cannot be bought even with all the jewels I have in the treasure chamber "

Jamil

This is simple. Jamil only asked your ex once to leave the dorm.

Not understanding reasons the first time, he simply used his unique magic causing them to go "on their own".

Problem solved. NOW, that doesn't mean Jamil was in a good mood.

Not at all. Anger can be seen rising from his ears like smoke, but his face expresses calm.

Help him in the kitchen, he may not say anything, but internally he will thank you.

Cuddling in the middle of the night, curled up in his bed? HELL YEAH.

"You are the most precious diamond I have in my life, I am not going to let you go so easily"

Vil

How dare this pathetic person to proclaim you back in front of his own nose?

Putting aside how impressed he was by such a daring act, Vil was once again furious.

Vil isn’t a person who defends his opponent in a violent way like Leona or Floyd, but he could attack the self-esteem and brain.

Even though… if the obscene words towards you kept bubbling out of their disgusting mouth, he would have to give him a poison apple.

It almost happened, thank goodness you were there to lower the fumes.

Vil was irritable all day and not even a beauty treatment could calm him… shit this was bad.

Give him a couple of hours to calm down and try talking to him during the night and if he doesn't want to, you can always do the routine for his face before going to sleep.

“I'll be honest, I liked your ex's audacity, but it didn't displease to see how mistreated they was and if I can correctly assume, the mistreatment they caused you. You are here with me and I am here with you, neither is going to be detach from the other "

Rook

When Rook saw how your ex was trying to convince you to come back… let's just say he didn't take it very well.

But his face said otherwise. He had the same grinning and somewhat creppy expression as ever, so it was difficult to determine in that tense moment whether he was really angry or not.

I think the arrow that passed between the two of you, best expressed between your two faces, made it pretty clear that Rook wasn't going to sit idly by.

A bit violent and shocking, but effective. Your ex shitted their pants and stormed out of the place, without even looking back.

Coward.

"I'm sorry for the bad moment I put you on, but nobody touches my prey"

It may be that his action was with tenderness of support, but that doesn’t remove the shock from your face.

You slept with one eye open that night.

Epel

Let's say the conversation got off to a good start, until your ex had the brilliant idea of mistaking Epel for a girl.

Oh yeah, the truck driver's voice came out to our farmer.

Be prepared to hold him and prevent him from giving your ex a tremendous punch in the face. Even in that situation your damn ex had the decency to keep asking you to go back to them.

It even occurred to them to denigrate Epel for how short and his supposedly sweet voice was... now you can let him go.

With your ex out of your sight and a reprimanding of Vil towards Epel's ugly acting, you guys spent the night in your bedroom.

Simple caresses and a few small butterfly kisses to calm the atmosphere.

“Sorry, I lost control and gave you a hard time. Don't be mad at me, I don't even want to think about the possibility of losing you "

Idia

Oh… .emmm, embarrassed baby became even more embarrassed at having to come face to face with a complete stranger.

Talking to you is one thing, but talking about yourself with your supposed ex is another thing entirely; he even finds it difficult to talk about you with his own brother, so imagine the traumatic moment Idia had to go through.

In a stuttering manner, he asked them to please get away of hs face… and from school. If the shame towards his person was not enough to get your ex out of there, no problem ...

From somewhere he'd get a little machine that would run your ex's fucking ass outside the doors of NRC.

The machine would have a small camera embedded so you could see from its monitors how your ex ran like a baby with their butt burned thanks to Idia's invention.

He may have uploaded the file to the internet… who knows.

After this terrible and agonizing day, Idia doesn’t plan to leave his room until the end of the year.

Stay with him as long as necessary, hours, days, afternoons, nights, early mornings, whatever it is, just ... stay hugged him at all times.

“For a moment I thought you were going to leave with your ex. You know, Ortho loves you very much, and you leaving would make him very sad ... and me too"

Malleus

They have to have balls to go straight to Malleus and tell at his face that they wants you back.

10 for the audacity, -1000 for their physical health.

 Malleus, like Vil, doesn’t need to destroy or attack your ex, just standing there and acting intimidating is enough.

If your ex still wants to hang around you after seeing that scene, then Malleus is going to have to put his horns on it.

Nothing like a spark of fingers to make him disappear from your side and send him flying out of school.

They are fine, at least that’s what Malleus said.

“Even being amazed at the audacity of that little creature, they should learn that the word no means no. You, little human, you are mine"

Lilia

Big bear mama Lilia took the situation with great grace. If only your ex knew that the were talking to a fairy over five hundred years old I throw a number they would freeze.

He endured the boring and monotonous talk with your ex with a sarcastic smile and when they finished speaking he wished them a good way back. He then sent them flying towards the exit of Diasomnia.

With their butt out, Lilia slammed the door in their face. You watched the scene from the top of the dorm lounge stairs.

At no time did our little fairy have a hair out of place. And with that same tranquility he disappeared from the door and magically appeared next to you with his characteristic smile and face down.

He gave you sweet kisses before he went out to babysit some freshmen who were about to set the kitchen on fire… as if Lilia hadn't done it before.

“Don't listen to them, they are part of your past. The best thing is to leave it behind, because now you have a present with me "

Silver

It happened in one of the few times when Silver was wide awake and with no intention of going to sleep in whatever corner he came across first.

Still, he literally didn't understand anything, he just wanted to spend time with you and that time was ruined.

Silver did nothing, just grabbed your hand and led you into the hall of mirrors, disappearing into Diasomnia's one.

Before going through the mirror, you turned your gaze over your shoulder, seeing how your ex was following both of you and with a handshake which happened to be raised the middle finger you disappeared into the mirror.

In the warm cold of the bedroom, you spent a long time in the arms of your loved one.

"There is no need to look into the past, I like living the present with you"

Sebek

Don't hate me for what I'm going to say… but your ex didn't even have a chance to say hello, Sebek was already on his shoulders asking them to leave if he didn't want them to face a duel.

Just kidding, not a duel… but it would give him their lesson if they didn't immediately leave the dorm.

No one without the consent of his young master Malleus could enter the residence. And speaking of Malleus… he spent about half an hour talking about his master and how he would be able to turn them to ash if they approached Diasomnia again.

And by the way to you too.

"Incredible how a person thinks they had the right to appear like this out of nowhere, how could you be with a person like that?"

Oddly enough, the day passed like nothing, even at bedtime Sebek acted as if your ex had never shown up.

But… during the early morning, a heaviness on your stomach woke you up from your dreams. Sebek was huddled behind you, his head buried in your hair, his arms across your belly.

[chibi-tsukiko]

Hi Em!!

I absolutely have loved reading your OC pride AU! I’ve honestly lost track of how many times I’ve reread it, they’re so much fun!

You know I love Hakashi and I’d die for Rishida, but Uma cracks me up, whether it be in the story or an AU. She is a queen! I know it’s not technically Wednesday anymore, but if it’s okay I have a W&D question😊🙈 How did the group meet Uma or vice versa? Is there someone in it who she is particularly fond of or protective of?

I hope you have an awesome day! You’re a gem💖

Hi sweetheart!

I am so happy you enjoyed the W&D Pride snippets! I had so much fun writing them! 🥰 and I’m so glad you have become such a fan of Uma! She is an absolute queen! And I adore writing her!

The whole gang meet Uma at a Tavern near the Zenko Stronghold (Ryujis home).

Ishida and Uma have met previously, years earlier so they recognize each other. In fact, Uma comments something like “my god you’re still alive” when she sees him again 😂 she can also immediately tell that Ishida & Ryuji like each other even tho neither of them have admitted to the other (or even to themselves) 😆

While Uma is definitely my morally grey character and does everything for herself, she does care. Out of the whole group, I’d say she’s most fond of Ishida. She worries about how his heart bleeds for everyone and his self-sacrificing nature. She’s seen him in a dark place and doesn’t want to see him that down again.

She also just genuinely enjoys him and how fun and flirty he can be. He’s one of the only people who can match her energy and she really likes being around him.

She would deny ALL of this 😂 and just lecture him about being too nice, but Ishida is the main reason why she decides to help the group. She does find the group fun though and while she wouldn’t admit it, she cares for all of them.

Thank you for the ask dear!! 💕 W&D questions are ALWAYS welcome! Whenever you want! 😘♥️

[bedlamsbard]

💭 What is a headcanon you have about your own work?

this is one of those questions where I'm like, but what does it mean? I guess something about the background worldbuilding that was never explicitly stated in the story itself? Backbone has a lot of that -- I did a lot of base worldbuilding for the Rylothean Twi'lek culture that I made the conscious decision not to put into Backbone, though some of it is hinted at here and there. The two big ones, which are connected, are marriage/concubinage customs and inheritance law.

Rylothean Twi'leks are not expected to be monogamous and it's fairly common to have group marriages of various combinations. (I think Alecto's parents was one husband with two wives, but I'm not certain.) Especially among the curiate caste, but throughout the patrician castes, it's also extremely common to only have one, or sometimes two, legal marriages (I think I explicitly used the term cum manu in Backbone, but can't be certain; it's a Roman legal term for a certain type of marriage) but to have one or more semi/permanent legal relationships which we'd probably call concubinage today. These are legal relationships of a different status than marriage; the children of a concubinal relationship are not illegitimate, but they're a different form of legitimate than the child of a legal marriage. (This is something that actually comes up in the first chapter of Devil's Lair, the Backbone sequel.) Illegitimate children -- which in this sense means that legally they do not have two (or more) parents -- take their social/legal caste from their mother; neither Doriah Syndulla nor Ojeda Syndulla have acknowledged fathers, but Doriah's mother is a plebeian and Ojeda's mother is a curiate, so Doriah is a plebeian and Ojeda is a curiate. There is no social stigma for not having two parents, however a child can only be legitimized if both parents are still alive; Doriah can't be legitimized because his mother is dead. (So is Ojeda's, but because she is already a curiate, it isn't an issue; it's mostly an issue in cases of inheritance dispute and/or when the parents are of different castes and/or different clans.) It is suuuuuper common and socially accepted, if one spouse is of a higher caste and takes a spouse/concubine in the legal sense, to also take their siblings as lovers, whether as legal concubines or as casual lovers; after Cham married Alecto he also slept with her sister Clotho. Both sisters were fine with it, it was fairly common knowledge; the only issue is that he never legally acknowledged Doriah as his son and now because Clotho is dead, Doriah cannot be legitimized (assuming that Cham is his father or wanted to legitimize or acknowledge him; they're legally not the same thing). He could however be legally acknowledged, however Cham won't do this because that could have potential repercussions on Hera's ability to inherit (despite the fact that Hera does not want to inherit).

None of this is explicitly stated in Backbone, even though most of that was in the base worldbuilding from the beginning, for the very simple reason of: I got and still get so much shit about the social mores and morality of the OT3 in Gambit. I did not want to deal with that in Backbone even if none of that was going to be on the page (because Clotho is dead); I didn't want to give any of my readers an excuse to say "Cham and Alecto were never in love" by saying that Cham slept with Clotho or that he slept with other people in the ten years between the opening flashback and the present day. For the record, because this is a ~headcanon post, Cham and Alecto both had lovers in those ten years, Cham more than Alecto, but nothing serious. There was at one point going to be a scene where Alecto commented on it; I cut it because I didn't want the emotional arc to get derailed by a potential audience reaction of "they're both cheaters." If it's not clear, the reaction I got to the OT3 in Gambit scared the hell out of me. (And I've been in fandom for twenty years, it takes a lot to do that.) I don't think it's a coincidence that the main relationships in Backbone are all on-the-surface-straightforward m/f relationships, though I wasn't thinking that way about it at the time.

I was (I mean, am) going to deal with all of this in Devil's Lair, because I figured no one would read Lair without having first read Backbone, and being able to work all of that out on the page without having it tied up in Cham and Alecto's marriage is a safer way to do it. Here's a Cham POV snippet from Lair 1 about some of those technicalities:

More gently, Cham went on, “I was sorry to hear about your brother and stepmother.”

Khaaja waved that aside. “Half-brother. And she was not my stepmother; my mother was my father’s concubine, not his wife. You know that,” she added, scowling. “Or at least you used to.”

“Things might have changed since I’ve been gone,” Cham admitted. Lon Secura, like many curiates both male and female, had had a succession of concubines over the years as well as a legal spouse of his own caste. Khaaja had been his oldest born child, but until a few years ago the Secura prime heir had been his only surviving legitimate offspring, a boy about Hera’s age whose name Cham couldn’t recall. Rumor slowly carried to the fleet had told Cham that a slaver attack on one of the Secura estates had cost Lon both his wife and his heir, along with most of the inhabitants of that estate. He had finally designated Khaaja as his heir only recently, admitting that his son was gone for good. Cham had been in that situation himself recently enough that even thinking about it made him wince.

Khaaja snorted softly. “My father legitimized me, but he didn’t marry my mother to do it. Not that that’s going to matter,” she added pointedly, “since once the Empire hears about this we’ll lose our lands, our fortune, our position in the Curia, and probably all our lives along with it.”

“The Empire won’t hear of this,” Cham repeated firmly.

[ladybevr]

1st time ask I just started following here and appreciate the way everyone communicates. One must also consider the sibling's behaviour. Some become obsessively selfish from being coddled to the point everyone else's life revolves around them and their needs and demands. Many become ultimate manipulators, deceptive adults. IOW the monster was fed while growing and constant demands remain and can develop into delusions of grandeur. 6 was able to perform fine prior to 2016/17-greed grew more imo.

IMO greed was always there as were the delusions. He was just able to control them and keep them hidden. If others twigged to it he probably would have been alone. No one would have wanted to associate with him. But now he has his wife so isn't alone even if others desert him He used joking around as a cover to hide his real feelings in my opinion. He also used joking around to get attention and focus the spotlight solely on himself. He always made sure the spotlight was on himself even as a child while Diana was still alive. Coddling certainly didn't help any. Just my opinion. Many may view 6 as being able to perform perfectly well prior to meeting his wife but there were signs of the underlying problems all along such as when he teased his brother about his going bald and did it on international TV. Everyone loved it when he did it and laughed with him. No one considered that !. it was designed to hurt his brother publicly where his brother could not retaliate and 2. everyone was laughing with him and thinking and talking about what a fun guy he was/is focusing attention on him. No one stopped to consider that what he did was mean. Even though he was an adult he often behaved like a child rather than like an adult even in public. Diana did coddle him. Was it to much? Did it contribute to his problems today? Even back then next to Diana he was the main focus of the cameras of the media and media stories. The Nazi uniform, the strip billiards in Vegas, the mean comments name calling and funny faces were all just a bid for attention and made him feel superior and more popular than others. Even the snippet of dialogue where he changed the Queen's message on her phone and also the mic drop with the Queen where Obama was mentioned. The major attention was on him not the Queen. All just my opinion.

[knitting-gay-nerd]

This Winter's Sky

Turn Week 2021 | Day 7: What you would have wanted to see/Favorite AU

What I would have most wanted to see is more of people just being happy, because even in grim wartime, life finds a way. So, I’ve bent my sword of angst into a plowshare of fluff, and I present you with another snippet. This one doesn't contain spoilers but will really make much more sense if you've read the rest of All Done Up in Blue & Gold (here on AO3).

It was cold and dark, and the never-ceasing snow fell around us. Our lanterns created a halo of light, and the lights in the windows of the house seemed farther away than they were. We were completely and utterly alone. The snow wasn’t a storm, like it was that night we first met, but when the wind rose, sending the flakes cascading to the side, our cloaks went along with it, ridding us of our most effective way to maintain warmth.

I clutched at my cloak, pulling it back to position and shivering.

“Are you warm enough? Should we go inside? I can walk you over to your house to warm up—“

“Stop it, Ben, I’m fine. Though it might be warmer for us to stand closer together.”

He looked at me, his eyebrow raised and head tilted slightly. A slow smile spread across his face. “Well, then, come here.” Ben wrapped his arm around me, his cloak then around both of us. “More romantic than usual, aren’t you?” he whispered into my ear.

“I can be romantic when I want to.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes. I’ve had practice.”

“Alright then, show me.”

“With pleasure, sir. Your hair… is nice,” I said, no comedic inflection in my tone.

He burst into laughter, and I pretended offense. “What? Your hair is nice!”

“That’s your idea of something romantic?”

“Fine. Let me try again.” I took a deep breath. “Your eyes bewitch me, enchant me, enrapture me. When they fix on me I cannot move, cannot speak, because you are all I know. They shine like the moon, glitter like the stars and burn with the fire of a thousand suns.”

“Well—“ he breathed heavily, looking surprised.

“Flustered, are you, Benny Boy?” I breathed.

He chuckled, gathering himself. “Not at all.”

“Then it’s your turn.”

“Of course, my lady.” He stopped and thought for a moment. “Your skin is softer than eiderdown and more perfect, despite any blemishes, than a fresh coat of snow. When I look into your eyes, your beautiful, clear eyes, more alive than the surface of the ocean as the sun glints off it, I long to take you away from all this, to a place where it can be you and me, just us together, for all time and always.”

“Why, Major Tallmadge, you know your way with the ladies.” I placed my hand over my heart, feigning surprise.

“I never claimed otherwise.”

“Sometimes I wish we could go and leave all of this behind.” I looked off into the darkness. “But we can’t. Not yet.”

“Not yet.” He joined me in my gaze.

“One day we’ll be on our own, with our own family, but for now we’ll have to make do with mine.”

“And we will.”

We looked back at each other, and when our eyes met a tingling started in my heart and spread throughout my entire body. It was a new feeling, so, slightly afraid of it, I swiftly changed the subject.

“I could beat you in a snowball fight.”

He raised his eyebrows at me, cocking his head to the side. “You’re sure about that?”

We broke apart.

“Absolutely. Ask Tempe. She will assure you of my prowess.”

“I disagree. You don’t grow up alongside four brothers without learning your best strategy in a snowball fight.”

“Girls are more ruthless, and I fought with two of my three sisters. We’d build forts in the clearing, divide ourselves into teams, and James, Phebe, Tempe, and I would go at it for hours. Tempe and I were not initially much of an asset, seeing as James and Phebe were sixteen and eleven years older than us, but we learned quickly.”

“William, Samuel, Isaac, and John were no less brutal.”

“You were an older brother! You got to change the rules whenever they stopped suiting you!”

“You’re older than Tempe!”

“But I am sixteen years younger than James!”

“Didn’t your mother tell him to be gentle with you and Tempe?”

“Of course she did, but he still had every advantage over us.”

“If you’ve overcome such adversity, why don’t you prove your expertise?”

“With pleasure.” I placed my lantern to the side, kneeling in the snow to pack five good, solid snowballs. Ben did the same, and then we stood. “There is simply no time to build a structure up to the standards of my youth, so we shall go without.”

He smiled at me. “As you wish.”

“Well, then, shall we begin?” I grinned wickedly, holding my snowballs in my arms, one in my right hand, ready to throw.

He mirrored my position. “Ye—“

Before he could even finish that one word, the snowball flew from my hand, exploding on his shoulder.

“Come on!” he shouted as I danced along the edge of the light.

He lobbed one of his projectiles in my general direction, and I easily dodged it. I retaliated with another throw that passed dangerously close to his face. He chased me into the dark, but I could still see him where he stood. He threw another snowball, and another. One hit my skirts, the other my arm. I responded in kind, throwing the remaining three prepared snowballs in quick succession, hitting him twice. As I ran to the side, escaping him momentarily, I scooped up snow in my hands and packed it into a ball. I threw it as well, missing him entirely. Our battle continued in this vein for a good while longer, ending with both of us panting in the circle of light cast by our abandoned lanterns, covered in a fine layer of snow from both the snowballs and the snowfall. He extended his hand to me.

“Truce?”

I took it and shook it. “Truce. But I was the clear victor.”

“It is evident that I won.”

“Mmhm.” I raised my eyebrows. “Some day, I’ll bring you to the clearing and we can do this properly.”

“It would be my pleasure.”

We smiled at each other.

“I should get back.” I gestured towards home. “Mother’s waiting up with a candle.”

“I’ll walk with you.”

We picked up our lanterns and walked together, in step, along a path through the snow that lay on the ground.

“It’s a miracle we didn’t trip over anything in the dark,” I commented.

“Aye, very fortunate. That would have been an embarrassing injury to explain.”

We chuckled, and continued in companionable silence. Quiet was never awkward while we were together. The silence was never empty, never a void that desperately needed filling, but always full of comradeship and contentment with the other’s company.

As we reached the house, he said to me, “Well, until we meet again, ma chére.”

“Au revoir et bonne soirée, mon chaton.”

He grinned, then bowed slightly to me and walked away, his lantern casting a circle of light before him as I went inside, but one thought on my mind:

I love him.

And one day, I will tell him just how much I do.

[ibelieveinahappilyeverafter]

Danny Phantom - Transparent

Author Comments: Ha, and you all thought you were rid of me, didn’t you? Too bad for you I’m still here and back with some more stories! This is one of my commissions I finished recently and, god willing, there’s more where this came from!

Summary: Ghostwriter, also known as Andrew Riter, has had a long and difficult life, and a rather difficult afterlife, too. So, when his boyfriend, Danny Fenton/Phantom, starts acting oddly, it’s clear that there’s only one answer as to the cause. Danny was going to betray him to his ghost-hunting parents — now if only he could convince his brother of the matter. 

Fandom: Danny Phantom

Relationship: Ghostwriter | Andrew Riter/Danny Fenton/Phantom

Characters: Ghostwriter | Andrew Riter, Dannny Fenton/Phantom, Randy Riter (Ghostwriter’s Brother)

Rating: Teen Audiences

Word Count: 3,622

Transaction Amount: $20 

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Typically, considering the rather complicated lives as religion-obsessed assassins they had led when they were, well, alive, Andrew’s brother was rather good about believing him when Andrew suspected someone of showing signs of betrayal. This time, however, Randy looked less amused and more disappointed, arms crossed as he sighed and spoke a vaguely annoyed, “Have you been working on your murder mystery books again?”

“Randy.” Andrew Riter, better known to some as the Ghostwriter, liked to believe that he was a rather logical person. With the fact that he was one of the few ghosts in the Ghost Zone who wasn’t absolutely insane or obsessed with world domination, he had a much firmer grasp on reality and those around him. As such, he knew when he was being paranoid versus when something actually concerning was taking place. “We’ve been betrayed before and I’m telling you that all of the signs are there-!”

Randy held up a hand to stop him, looking even more disappointed than he had even just a minute ago. It was almost impressive and Andrew hated how he immediately snapped his mouth shut, Randy nodding before continuing with a firm, “Your boyfriend is not plotting to betray you.”

“But he could be!” Andrew burst out, throwing his arms up into the air. “It would be perfect, too, because no one would ever expect the hero Danny Phantom to betray his partner!” It all made sense and the plot was laid out in front of him like a glaringly bright yellow brick road. 

“Andrew,” Randy groaned, moving to collapse against a plush, overstuffed couch that Andrew was particularly fond of. There was a reason he kept that couch in his study, after all, which was where he had hidden himself until he could parse out Danny’s true intentions. “Danny couldn’t even lie to you when he was trying to surprise you for his birthday.”

“Which would make his betrayal all the more possible!” Andrew shot back, mind whirling with snippets of conversations and interactions as he paced his study. “He always has to be home on Saturday mornings and when I asked why he looked away and nervously lied about how it was a medical thing-”

“What makes you think that was a lie?” Randy was all but ignoring him, flipping through one of Andrew’s manuscripts that he had thrown towards the couch in a fit of rage. Andrew felt no qualms in picking up a rather large thesaurus and throwing it at Randy, pleased at the following yelp of pain. “Hey!”

Andrew went back to his pacing, ignoring the swears aimed his way as he thought over the other day’s questioning about why Danny always had to be home at the same time on Saturday mornings of all things. Danny had been so nervous, avoiding eye contact and shuffling his weight around and even going so far as to flinch when Andrew had raised a hand to gently rub his shoulder. It was clear to see that Danny knew Andrew was clued in on his future betrayal. 

Catching the book he saw flying at him out of the corner of his eye, Andrew looked to Randy, an annoyed expression showing that he had clearly said something that Andrew hadn’t heard. Andrew decided to respond with a simple, “You’re wrong.”

“You have no idea what I said, do you?” Randy scoffed, Andrew only smirking because replying like that meant Randy knew he was wrong in whatever he had said so ha. “Okay, so the medical thing is a bit weird, but maybe it’s just something he has to do that he’s embarrassed about. That doesn’t mean he’s betraying you.”

“It also doesn’t mean that he’s not not betraying me,” Andrew snapped out, pausing and wrinkling his nose because, hm, that had not felt like good sentence structure. There had to be a better way to word that thought. Perhaps- “Ow.”

Rubbing his now sore head, Andrew glared at Randy, who smirked because he was stupid and had stupid perfect aim and Andrew didn’t care what he said being hit in the back of the head with a pen hurt. Andrew made a mental reminder to make him suffer later, continuing his point instead with a firm, “It makes sense.”

“Fine. Let’s indulge your paranoia for a few minutes here.” Randy sat up as Andrew fought off the urge to insist that it wasn’t paranoia. “Who exactly would Danny betray you too?” Ah, well, that… was a question, certainly. “Seriously?”

“Well excuse me for being more worried about the actual betrayal aspect of this plot!” Andrew snapped back, crossing his arms and looking down at aged, ruffled carpet. “The Observants-”

“They hate me and Danny way more than they hate you,” Randy interrupted with a scoff, which… was true; as much as Andrew hated to admit it. He was just waiting on the day when Randy was kidnapped by the one-eyed cretins. “Try again.”

Andrew chewed on the inside of his cheek, mentally paging through the ghosts and humans that they both knew. “Guys-in-White?” Before Randy could throw something at him again, Andrew shook his own head, “Mm, no.” Danny hated the Guys-in-White more than any other ghost he knew. Plus, it would be embarrassing to be handed over to them. “He would at least have the good sense to give me to his parents, first-”

Snapping his mouth shut, Andrew stared at the ground because that was it. The thread of the plot that had just been out-of-sight. Danny’s parents; the ghost hunters. It made perfect sense. Danny had yet to tell the two of his ghostly nature, but he had been hinting towards it. What better way to get in their good graces than to offer up an actual ghost? 

Andrew looked to Randy, who immediately shook his head, “No- No, no, no, he is not planning on offering you up to his parents-”

“It makes sense.” It was the perfect plan — the perfect story. Danny Fenton, the boy cursed with ghost powers with ghost hunters as parents. What better way to earn forgiveness and respect than to give them that which they had been so desperately hunting over the years? It lined up into clean, crisp arcs: the meeting, the fall, the betrayal, the end. 

Feeling the thrum under his skin of danger, Andrew turned to start pacing again, instead running right into Randy’s chest. His brother caught him by his shoulders, stilling him and holding him in place while looking at him with an expression that was equal parts annoyed and concerned, “What manuscript are you working on right now?”

Ah, now, this is where Randy would dismiss all his worries and say he was paranoid because he had spent too long in one genre. Andrew, though, knew how to get around this. “I’m afraid it doesn’t have a name at the moment-”

“Andrew.” Damn Randy and his knowledge of Andrew’s small quirks and oddities. 

“A Crimson Dinner,” Andrew muttered reluctantly, trying not to wince at Randy’s glaring look. “So what if I have been working on murder mysteries again! That doesn’t explain Danny’s odd behavior!” 

“Jesus,” Randy groaned, Andrew hating how he had the instinctive urge, even after so long, to scold him for taking the Lord’s name in vain. Hm, maybe he had been working on his latest manuscript for a touch too long. “Andy. That kid fucking loves you. He is not going to betray you to his parents — who are not that good at being ghost hunters, by the way.” 

Andrew read the concern buried in Randy's voice and the way his hands tightened on his shoulders in clear worry. What was even clearer was the plea in his eyes to just drop the matter. If this had been another time Andrew would have nodded and agreed that he was being paranoid. He would have lied to Randy’s face and felt no remorse. 

As it was now, though, Andrew only continued with a firm, unyielding, “But what if-” Randy’s groan was unappreciated, but he at least wasn’t flying away from him in a fit of rage.

Which was excellent. Andrew needed a sounding board so he could begin crafting a plan to deal with his boyfriend’s future betrayal.

⁂

“You’re being weird.” Blinking at the half-ghost that was sitting in his lap and staring at him with amused suspicion, Andrew decided to respond by innocently tilting his head. “Don’t play cute with me. I know you know what I mean.” 

“Haven’t the faintest,” Andrew denied, shivering as Danny’s palms, cool and soft, rubbed against the stubble dotted across his cheeks as the younger leaned closer. “No idea at all.”

“None whatsoever, huh?” Danny raised an eyebrow, those palms still cool against him as he gently nudged Andrew closer to him, pressing a sweet, soft kiss to the tip of his nose. “Not even a bit of an idea?” 

“None whatsoever,” Andrew repeated distractedly, unable to help his frown when Danny pouted and ‘collapsed’ against his chest. Honestly, this one was bad for his heart in far too many ways. “Why do you think I’m acting suspicious?” 

“I didn’t say suspicious,” Danny snorted, looking up at him with a look torn between annoyance and amusement. It was such a sweet look, and Andrew almost didn’t even feel all that bad that it would be Danny to betray him. “I said you’re being weird. You’re acting all… observant-y.” 

Andrew knew Danny no doubt meant that Andrew had been keeping a much more careful eye on him over the past couple of days, but he couldn’t help his immediate response of, “There’s no need for insults, mon cher.” 

The confusion fading into startled laughter was worth the pang of knowing this would, one day, come to an end. Besides, it was hard to feel too upset when Danny was so sweet about the way he earned his trust, cuddling closer to him and giving him soft kisses and teasing him gently and warmly. Really… if this was to be his final hell, it wasn’t one Andrew was all that keen about fighting against. 

“Don’t think I’m dropping this,” Danny managed to mutter between kisses, seemingly as distracted as Andrew was becoming. “You’re still acting weird — and that’s coming from the teenage half-ghost superhero.” 

Andrew scoffed, rolling his eyes as Danny curled back up against his chest, near hiding against him, “And here, I believe, is where I say something about the pot calling the kettle black?” Danny stuck his tongue out, Andrew clucking his own in response. “Maybe I’m just busy trying to uncover all of your secrets.”

It was a tease as much as it was a test, but it hurt more than Andrew would have thought when he felt Danny jolt against him, sudden and sharp as a swirl of fear flashed across his eyes. Danny’s words tumbled together and fell out of him a rush, a half-panicked, “Looks like you caught me. I did steal Sam’s nail polish in seventh grade.”

“I knew it,” Andrew said seriously, responding just how was expected of him. He might have been tempted to put more humor into the situation if it didn’t feel like his chest was aching with the realization that he had been right. Yes… he supposed he really had known it. “Danny…”

Danny, nervously shifting and adjusting to where he was once again sitting beside him rather than straight in his lap, paused to give him a look that was just as nervous, “Yeah?”

“I…” He what? He knew that Danny was going to betray him to his parents? He was fully aware that Danny was keeping something from him and had no intention of telling him? He still loved Danny even though he knew what was going to happen? 

A million words floated through his head, Andrew trying them all out silently one after the other. I love you. No. This wasn’t the time even if it was true. I know what you’re going to do. No, no, no, that sounded far too accusatory. Andrew didn’t want to start a fight with Danny when it felt like he was trying to claw his heart back together as it was. Why did it have to come to this? Don’t you love me? Did I do something wrong? What did I miss? Please, don’t do this- 

“Andrew?” Danny’s quiet voice broke up his thoughts, a cool hand cupping his cheek as eyes looked at him with a potent mixture of worry and concern. It was the barest edges of caution that had him near recoiling, though. “Are you-”

“I’m not blind.” It was nowhere near what he wanted to say exactly, but it was at least a somewhat subtle start. “You… You do know I’m not blind, don’t you?” He had to have known that Andrew was fully aware of what was about to happen. Right? 

“I- Yeah, of course- I mean-! Yeah! I know that!” That caution spiraled out into panic and fear, Danny quickly standing up. “Right, well, uh, I’m gonna go, you know- Kitchen. Food, and everything- Yeah.” Danny was rushing away towards another part of Andrew’s lair before Andrew himself could even offer a response. 

His only saving grace — and oh how far he had fallen to even so much as think that — was Randy entering the room with a low whistle only seconds after Danny had truly left. Andrew didn't know if the man was just that good at sniffing out drama or if he had felt Andrew’s turbulent emotions. 

“Accuse him of his ultimate betrayal of your love and shit that soon? Thought you would have held it in for at least another week or two.” If this were even earlier that day, Andrew would have been tempted to roll his eyes and toss a book at his brother. As it was, Andrew just stared in the direction Danny had taken off towards; the opposite direction of the kitchen. “Hey, this is the part where you give me your hundred page thesis on all of your paranoid-”

“He flinched.” Andrew’s words were quiet, soft enough that they could have been easily talked over. Randy fell silent, instead, and didn’t that just tell Andrew everything he already knew? “We were just… talking. He noticed how I’ve been acting odd, and I teased that I was ‘trying to uncover all of his secrets.’’

Andrew looked to Randy, hating how everything in him felt like begging for advice and support and he didn’t want to lose this. “He flinched.” Danny shouldn’t have flinched- Andrew knew all his secrets; or at least, he thought he had.

“Andy…” Randy trailed off, not saying anything else. When it looked like he was about to try to speak, Andrew simply shook his head. He didn’t need advice. 

Not when the matter would be dealt with soon enough — one way or another. 

⁂

In truth, after his discussion with Randy, Andrew had been prepared to wait months or even years for Danny’s betrayal. The both of them were patient when it came to important matters and Danny was far cleverer than people gave him credit for. He also didn’t like to lose. With that in mind, Andrew had been prepared to wait. 

He hadn’t expected, three days later, to be wincing at Danny’s cold, aching tone when he snapped out a harsh, “Fine. You figured it out. Proud of yourself?!” Shoved into a corner of the couch and curled up and glaring at him, Danny showed every sign of an injured wild animal. It was harder than Andrew would have thought to fight back the urge to try and comfort the teen and talk him down. 

Instead, he busied himself with the thought of wondering how Danny had known that he had figured it out. Andrew opened his mouth to ask that, or maybe deny he even knew, but Danny beat him there with a cold, bitter laugh, “Please. You’ve been acting weird for days, ever since-” Since that joke about ‘secrets.’ “You barely look at me, you’ve been avoiding spending time with me, you haven’t touched me once-”

Danny cut himself off with a jagged sound that had very clearly been a suppressed whine and Andrew hated how much it hurt. He couldn’t stop himself from responding with a quiet, “Danny…” 

“I just- I thought with you it would be different.” Danny’s voice cracked and the sound made Andrew want to release a whine of his own. “I didn’t think-! It wasn’t supposed to go like this!” Danny had his arms wrapped tight around his chest, curled up even more as the desperate, broken expression on his face snapped into one of rage, green eyes blazing with anger.

Unsurprisingly, it was the anger that had Andrew responding, a spark of defiance blazing through him because how dare he-! “You thought I would simply be fine with you betraying me by offering me up to your parents on a silver platter as some- Some gift-” 

“What?” Danny’s tone, loud and sudden and confused, had Andrew snapping his mouth shut. Danny no longer looked angry and hurt and cornered, instead he simply stared at Andrew, blinking slowly. “Hang on… Hang on- Andy, what do you mean when you say I’m ‘betraying you?’” There was confusion and caution and… hope?

It was the hope that caught Andrew off guard, all of his meticulous notes about how odd Danny had been acting as proof of his upcoming betrayal disappearing. Instead he could only stare before managing a weak, “You’re… going to betray me and offer me up to your parents as a peace offering? A ghost they can study before revealing your own ghostly nature to them?”

The laugh, wild and sharp and sudden and relieved, was not something Andrew had expected from Danny. Nor had he expected the rushed out, blurted words of, “I’m trans.” Andrew simply… stared. He had expected betrayal, and heartache, and the bitter reminder that humanity and the dead could never truly be, but he had not expected… that. Danny seemed to realize as such, all of his fear and worry and anger seeming to vanish as a smile reappeared. “You know. Transgender?”

“I- Yes.” Trans. Danny was transgender. “I’m aware of what trans means.” He knew what it meant, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t surprised because he hadn’t… been expecting that. “I… Well. I suppose that does rather make more sense than you betraying me to your parents, doesn’t it?”

Andrew barely took a seat on the couch before he had Danny in his lap, Andrew’s hands snapping out to steady him before he was very quickly distracted by lips pressed against his own. When Danny finally pulled back, it was to more laughter muffled against his cheek as the other buried his way against him, “I can’t believe- Out of every possible sign you thought-!”

“Yes, thank you!” Andrew interrupted, refusing to focus on the warmth he could feel in his cheeks. Ghosts may have been dead, but they could still flush in embarrassment, apparently. “It made a remarkable amount of sense at the time.” Ah… Randy was never going to let him live this down once he found out.

“Oh, yes, of course,” Danny said seriously, leaning back to cup Andrew’s cheeks with his hands, pressing just enough to squish them and make Andrew try to squirm away. Danny, the brat, didn’t let him. “It makes perfect sense that, instead of believing I’m trans, you believe that I’m going to betray you to my parents.”

“That’s not-!” Ah, but that was exactly what Andrew had thought, wasn’t it? “It wasn’t as simple and foolish as you make it sound!” Andrew tried to jerk his head away again, not putting much effort into the gesture when he was more focused on Danny’s relieved, happy laughter. “You’re just a naturally suspicious person, I suppose.”

“This from the former assassin,” Danny shot back at once, his inability to not have the last word kicking in as it always did. “I pass that well, huh?” There was something in the words that made the ends waver. There was a hesitance in how Danny braced himself, beginning to lean back as if expecting Andrew to ever care about something as simple as that. 

Mulling over his words, Andrew tried a dozen variations in his head before he sighed, truth slipping out of him as it always did around his idiotic, ridiculous, wonderful boyfriend, “Honestly, you say that like it matters.” Cupping the other’s cheek, Andrew brought him back in closer, kissing him softly. 

“Doesn’t it?” Danny asked as soon as he pulled back, a hint of fang peeking out as he bit at his lip. Even as he asked, though, Andrew could see the tension sliding out of him, body relaxed and easy to bring back towards his own. “I mean… does it matter?”

“Danny.” Andrew shook his head, incredulous laughter bursting out of him. “I thought you were going to betray me, and I was still in love with you and ready to do whatever you asked of me. What do you think that means?”

“Mm…” Danny trailed off, learning forward for a kiss before stopping just shy with a smirk. “That you’re more paranoid than you say you are.” The smirk was too much like Randy’s for Andrew’s liking and he felt no shame in grabbing a nearby pillow and trying to smother the brat. 

He had to admit, though… The bright, cheerful laughter wasn’t such a bad sound; and he supposed it was rather good that Danny wasn’t about to betray him to his parents. At least, not anytime soon, it seemed.

[halothenthehorns]

TLTNL- THE SECOND WAR BEGINS

Harry couldn't really look Remus in the face when he gave the book a gentle toss to him. He was sure it meant something he was even still around after all this, but Harry really had not a clue what, it couldn't be him. 

Entitled He Who Must Not Be Named Returns, it starts with a statement from the Minister confirming this to be true, he was active in their country once more.

"Miracles do happen!" James mock cheered.

"James I would not refer to any of this as miraculous," Lily grumbled.

"No, not the part about- you know what I meant Lily," he huffed.

"Oh, you're reading a paper," Sirius quickly grasped while still laughing at the two.

"Hermione was," Harry corrected, the memory easily swimming to the surface, honestly grateful that something could flow back to him naturally.

It was with great regret that he confirmed Lord, well you know who he meant,

"Lord Byron?" Remus politely offered.

was alive, as well as the dementors had deserted Azkaban and joined Lord, Thingy.

Five collective snorts of laughter. It seemed impossible after all they'd heard, but honestly with that alone Fudge pulled a genuine smile of amusement from all of them, though it was perhaps tainted at the implausibility of this taking so long to post this, a year later.

  The magical community was urged to remain vigilant, the Ministry was doing all they could to make people aware and pamphlets would be sent to their homes in the coming months of how to prepare.

The smile slipped right back off for the four from this time, they didn't appreciate the reminder considering they got those once a week it felt like.

The Minister's statement was met with dismay from the wizarding community, considering as recently as last week he'd just been assuring none of this to be true.

"I've been wanting them to eat their words, and yet it's not anywhere near as satisfying as I'd have hoped," Harry grumbled.

Details leading to this event were still murky, but apparently He Who Must Not Be Named himself and a group of Death Eaters had penetrated the Ministry of Magic Thursday evening and been witnessed.

Albus Dumbledore has yet been available for commentary, though it was he who had been insisting since last June of these events occurring. Meanwhile, the Boy Who Lived-

Hermione interrupted herself to exclaim there was Harry's name, she knew he'd be dragged into this while looking at him over her paper.

"Aren't I always?" Harry grudgingly agreed with Hermione now as he had then.

"Haven't heard you called that in a while," James grumbled, "it was kind of nice."

"I'll still take that over what they were calling him," Lily huffed.

They were in the Hospital Wing, Hermione reading her article of the Sunday Prophet to the five around her while still in bed. Neville and Ginny's injuries had been healed instantly, but continued to visit frequently as they were now, and Luna was sitting to the side apparently ignoring them all with a new copy of the Quibbler.

Ron was still in bed rest as well and glared from his to hers saying it was high time they switched back from thinking him a deluded show off.

"Where on earth will they find their source of entertainment now," Sirius said deadpan.

He helped himself to another Chocolate Frog, the scars on his arm still visible from where the brain had latched on. Madam Pomfrey had warned they may never fade, but with a solution she'd been applying, they'd been improving.

"I'm just happy he's not acting like Sirius anymore," Remus offered.

"When do I ever act like a loopy fool?" Sirius demanded.

"As much," Remus finished as if he hadn't been interrupted.

Hermione agreed they were far more complimentary of him now, quoting such thing as his lone voice of truth against slander, though they seemed to have failed to mention it was them doing the slandering.

James's eyes went mock wide in surprise, putting his hand against his cheek with his mouth open slightly as the picture of shock.

"They would never do such a thing, oh wait," Lily briskly agreed.

She winced slightly and placed her hand upon her ribs. The curse Dolohov had set on her may have been less effective silent, but in Madam Pomfrey's own words, it was quite enough damage to be going on with. Hermione was having to take ten potions a day to heal,

Harry gulped and still fidgeted heavily. He in no way wished to ever hear of that spell again, but he had the nasty feeling it wasn't the last time Dolohov used such a thing, and next time it may not be so nonverbal...but then the hateful pain returned, and Harry still knew it wasn't over. Even if some part of him larger than ever wanted to quit now before he had to ever feel what he was again for what he'd lost that day, his mind would permanently suffer for it.

but she was improving greatly, and already bored with the hospital wing.

She continued reading snippets of all the pages full of information now, even one where they'd apparently gotten an Exclusive Interview with Harry, but then noted it was just the old article from the Quibbler.

Sirius got a hearty snort for that, somehow his disgust for that rubbish increasing even when they were back to publishing sense.

Luna agreed her father had sold that to him, he'd gained quite a lot of money for it, and they were going on vacation this summer to try and find the Crumple-Horned Snorkack.

"Good for her," Remus said honestly.

Hermione struggled for a moment before simply saying it sounded lovely.

Harry and Ginny caught eyes and quickly looked away from each other grinning.

Harry almost got a smile back in place, more warmth than they'd seen in his expression since he'd come back from the Ministry. Sharing a joke like that really could do wonders.

Hermione changed topics by asking that the school was back to normal?

Ginny agreed Flitwick had ridden the school of the twins swamp

James gasped, all of the boys looking scandalized such a thing had been done while Lily rolled her eyes at them. "Honestly, did you want it up forever? Having to get through a swamp just to attend classes?"

"Yes," was their instant response, and she rolled her eyes again to try and hide a twitching smile.

in three seconds, but he'd left a tiny patch under a bit of window he'd roped off.

"Oh, well that's okay then," Sirius' shoulders were still slumped in a bit of disappointment, but at least there had been a mark left.

When Hermione asked why, she said he'd said it was too good a bit of magic.

"At least we can still say we love Flitwick," Remus chuckled.

Ron agreed through a mouthful of frog he'd left it as a monument to Fred and George.

"And that's exactly what any proper man would do," James smirked.

Informing Harry it was his brothers who'd sent the pile of sweets on his bedside.

"Aww," Lily cooed.

"I can see where Ron gets this idea to share food to make others feel better," Sirius chuckled, "I think it's what the twins do."

"Well they did try to share a toilet seat, so I wouldn't put it past them," Remus snickered.

Hermione looked rather disapproving and asked,

Harry glanced around, but not one of them made a snippy comment for Hermione's disapproval again. They were still reeling from their harsh reactions to her, to what she'd been saying and it turning out to be true...and they didn't know what to feel about her now.

if all of the trouble was gone now Dumbledore was back.

Neville agreed the school was right back to normal.

"I'd almost be depressed if I wasn't so relieved," James sighed.

Ron made the comment Filch must be happy about that while propping up a Dumbledore Chocolate Frog card against his water jug.

James scoffed deeply in disgust for that, he knew how he felt about that one!

Remus' voice held an edge as well none had ever heard before when speaking of him, but Remus kept going trying to ignore it himself.

Ginny promised he was miserable, saying she'd been the best thing to ever happen to this school.

All five of them looked more than sour for that being said, they honestly wished Filch would be thrown out when Umbridge left as well for what he tried to do to those students, but if they'd had their way, Snape would have long since left as well.

All six of them looked around. Professor Umbridge was lying in a bed opposite them, gazing up at the ceiling.

"I can not believe you're even in the same room with, with that-" Lily was so angry her words spluttered off in disgust. That cat litter should be in Azkaban for what she nearly did to Harry!

"Neither can I," James quirked a brow in surprise even as he was frowning in disappointment. "How on earth did the centaurs give her up? I was hoping her body would just never be found again!"

Dumbledore had strode alone into the Forest to rescue her from the centaurs; how he had done it - how he had emerged from the trees supporting Professor Umbridge without so much as a scratch on him - nobody knew, and Umbridge was certainly not telling.

Remus muttered something shrewdly as he eyed that. He tried to find the awe and fascination from his youth at the entity that was Dumbledore, how he truly seemed able to do anything, but it was still overshadowed by everything he'd done to Harry's life. It was much easier to focus on the idea of why he'd bothered, and he got no more answer for that.

Since she had returned to the castle she had not, as far as any of them knew, uttered a single word. Nobody really knew what was wrong with her, either. Her usually neat mousy hair was very untidy and there were still bits of twigs and leaves in it, but otherwise she seemed to be quite unscathed.

"Oh right, about that," Sirius gave a dramatic pause, taking a deep breath, before being just one tone away from shouting, "how dare she do that to you! If you hadn't f'ing known how to do the Patronus charm thanks to Remus, you'd be worse than dead! I swear if I don't hear of that wretched thing getting Kissed herself, I'm going to have to find some other way to suck out her soul!"

"Been holding that one in long?" Harry asked mock pleasantly.

"A bit, yeah," Sirius agreed. "Glad you gave me the chance to bring it up again."

Hermione said Pomfrey told she was in shock.

"Madam Pomfrey should be using shocks," Lily huffed.

Sulking more like, Ginny corrected.

James made a little noise that may have been a mocking laugh.

Ron said she did something when you did this, and he began clip-clopping his tongue softly in a mockery of hooves.

All five burst into righteous laughter, but there wasn't a trace of humor to be found. Honestly they just wanted to applaud Ron for finally giving this moment.

Umbridge sat up at once, her mousy hair wild.

Pomfrey stuck her head out at once, asking if everything was alright?

Once Umbridge had looked all around and seen nothing, she sank back onto her seat, uttering it must have been a dream.

"More like a nightmare," Remus corrected in the most pleasant tone he'd ever used when speaking of her.

Hermione asked if Firenze was still teaching divination now that Trelawney was back?

Harry said both were now teaching instead.

"Of all the classes to get two separate teacher's in," Sirius muttered, ignoring the harsh thump that was his innards at the reminder of her.

Ron said he was sure Dumbledore now wished he'd gotten rid of Trelawney when he'd had the chance while going for his fourteenth Frog.

"That suddenly made a bit more sense," Sirius said restlessly.

"Can't have just been Dumbledore doing a decent thing, standing up to Umbridge and not letting her leave," Lily said, all wistfulness gone of anyone just doing a kind act anymore.

"Oh no," James agreed, "he was keeping her away from Voldemort." He tried to end with a smile for her, knowing what that downturn of Lily's lips were, and she did feel just a bit better that even with an ulterior motive she wasn't the only one trying to find the kindness in all this.

Though Ron still found the whole subject useless, as Firenze wasn't much better.

Hermione demanded how he could say that, now that they knew prophecies were real.

"Doesn't make the idiots delivering them any better." Sirius honestly having the urge to go find that room and smash every one of those things now, regretting ever even hearing about them for all the trouble they'd caused his family!

Harry's heart began to race. He had not told Ron, Hermione or anyone else what the prophecy had contained. Neville had told them it had smashed while Harry was pulling him up the steps in the Death Room and Harry had not yet corrected this impression.

"I don't see why," James said haughtily. "You need a good laugh, and you're friends will do a better job than anyone telling you how ridiculous it all sounds."

"Now you're encouraging Hermione are you?" Harry asked dully.

James frowned in concern, they all did as Harry refused to shake this off in here like they were trying to give him a way to do, and for his careless tone alone James chose not to respond in hopes changing the subject would just be better.

He was not ready to see their expressions when he told them that he must be either murderer or victim, there was no other way . . .

Even as the others still looked murderous at Dumbledore putting that on Harry, wanting to blame their old headmaster and everyone else for continuing to try and force Harry down a path just because of some stupid mystics, Harry couldn't help but brush absently at his scar for the first time since he'd been here, because it wasn't the one on his forehead. None of them seemed to notice a thing. He wished he could believe same as them, that there was some other way, some alternative to this terrible fate laid out for him, but it all felt so inevitable...

Hermione kept going with the conversation, saying what a pity it was it broke.

Ron agreed, but found the good side was at least You-Know-Who couldn't hear it anymore either- then asked where Harry was going with disappointment.

Harry said he was going down to Hagrid's, he'd gotten back today and he'd want to know how they were doing.

"Hagrid's back!" Sirius cheered unnecessarily loudly, but Harry hardly reacted, just the briefest little smile for the enthusiasm before his face settled back into that mask of unease.

Ron gave the grumpy agreement before wishing he could come.

Remus made an unconscious sympathetic noise, knowing that feeling all to well.

Hermione told him to say hello for them, and to make sure to ask about his, little friend.

"I presume she's referring to Grawp," Remus said with an honest twitch of his lips.

"Don't know why she needed to phrase it like that," Sirius sighed, "I think the others around you can know about him by now." He was still watching Harry with worry. He may be clinging to Sirius in a whole new way, though now they understood why as he just seemed to be marveling at still being able to do so, but it almost seemed to hurt him now just to look at his godfather.

"Umbridge is in there, and even in shock, it's best not to go sharing what Hagrid gets up to right now," James unnecessarily reminded, Sirius had been well aware, they were both just trying to keep up some normal flow of conversation no matter how ineffective.

He was finding it hard to decide whether he wanted to be with people or not; whenever he was in company he wanted to get away and whenever he was alone he wanted company.

Harry was torn from his own thoughts to watch those shift around him uncomfortably, and quickly said, "No, I'm not..." but he trailed off, unable to put into words what it meant to have them all around him now. He didn't want that now, but it didn't quite erase the feeling now residing in him.

The feeling of isolation he'd carried while being around his friends carried through in here, helped along nothing by their unwillingness to see what he saw, feel how true it was he must kill Voldemort. If they didn't understand that though, if they honestly thought there must be another way...

When Harry failed to give a real answer but instead was clearly struggling with something, Remus just decided to keep going. He wouldn't force a real answer out of him, but he wouldn't stop him either if he needed a minute to himself, but until he stepped out this was all they could really do.

He only made it to the Entrance Hall when he ran into Malfoy and his friends coming up from the Slytherin dormitories.

The instant they caught sight of each other, Malfoy at once declared Harry as dead.

Harry said that was funny, since if it were true he'd have stopped walking around.

James managed an authentic laugh again, telling Harry, "there's that sense of humor I so love."

Harry tried for the same smile back, but it still sat just a touch awkwardly in his face to be believable.

Malfoy ignored the jab and said Potter would pay for what he'd done to his father.

"Will he still have to hear about it then to?" Sirius rolled his eyes.

James couldn't even offer that much, whatever Malfoy was suffering was only a tenth of what Harry had already learned to suffer through.

Harry sarcastically told he was terrified now, Voldemort must have just been a warm up compared to these three.

All of them were laughing obligingly now, though Harry's frown just deepened with some unknown concern, all he knew was he didn't like dismissing Malfoy right now.

Malfoy just snapped Potter thought himself such a big man, he couldn't just land his father in prison!

Harry reminded he just had.

Remus couldn't help the surprised burst of laughter that shot out, it really was like watching James and Snape the way these two went at each other so many years later with the names just swapped.

Malfoy still vowed Azkaban wouldn't hold him with the dementors gone, and while Harry agreed, he still pointed out at least everyone knew what scumbags they were now.

Sirius tried for a triumphant little smirk, but it was no good, the mention of that place just brought the echo of his own words back. He really hadn't been given his chance to accept that worthless Ministry's apologies now that they were listening to Harry...

Malfoy went for his wand, but Harry had already beaten him to it and raised to strike when Snape appeared.

Harry froze with a loathing like none before for him. He didn't care what Dumbledore said, he would never forgive Snape.

While none gave a second of disagreeing as well, Harry couldn't help but look to his mother. Her face was a mask, lips trembling and white from feeling so much of this future. He almost believed that now as well, but then, there was just this one part of him that stopped him...

Snape demanded what Potter was doing?

Harry simply said trying to decide which curse to use on Malfoy.

Lily at least tried to hide her smirk for that, but even she failed at such boldness.

Snape tried to take points away from his house for this, but then he turned and realized the Gryffindor hour glass was completely empty. He instead began to threaten-

but was cut off by McGonagall arriving to state apparently they needed some more.

The room felt such a sudden rush of delirious happiness it was hard for a moment to even grasp the switch. None had exactly forgotten what had fallen their favorite teacher, but considering everything else that had happened in the meantime they hadn't even a second to spare for it. Now here she was again as if she'd never left, swooping in for Harry once again!

She beckoned to Crabbe and Goyle first off, depositing her bag onto them and telling them to take that up to her office

"Snappy as ever," Sirius chuckled pleasantly.

before continuing to address their head of house that the students should be awarded for alerting the world of You-Know-Who's return.

James whooped with a delirious noise, even just something slightly good happening again and he wanted to dance and cheer, finally just one moment to show the word wasn't all death in this future!

Snape merely sneered rather than agreeing.

"Eat your toes Snivlius," Sirius sneered.

"It's eat your words. How did you even-?" Remus began in confusion, but Sirius wasn't even listening as he was still laughing too hard.

McGonagall continued as if he had, awarding fifty points to both Weasley's, Longbottom, Granger, and Potter. Even as they watched, a shower of rubies fell into Gryffindor's house-glass.

"Now wait a moment," Lily couldn't help but try to insert even as her eyes were still gleaming, but Remus polity shushed her and said what he knew she'd been fixing to.

Then she tacked on a fifty for Miss Lovegood of Ravenclaw, and a sprinkle of Sapphires fell for that as well.

"Ah," Lily said pleasantly while the boys were still snickering away, even Harry cracked an honest grin again for this.

She did acknowledged that Snape had intended to take ten, and while the measly few flew back up, it still left a respectable amount below.

"Only two hundred and forty," Remus quickly did the math even as he couldn't stop himself smirking. "She's much less generous than Dumbledore, he probably would have given a couple hundred each."

"Can't win that cup every year I suppose," Harry said grudgingly, his mind not even on the subject anymore as something as silly like the House Cup felt like some far off fantasy of a worry.

Then she instructed the students to depart, and Harry at once went back on his way into the sunshine outside.

Students were all over the place out here, enjoying their last few days on the grounds. Many waved or called to him as he passed, like the Prophet, now seeing him as some kind of hero.

"Give them all the bird Harry," James pleasantly instructed.

Harry said nothing to any of them.

"A feat not any in here could manage I'm sure," Lily said pleasantly, she'd have a thing or two to say to anyone switching on a dime like this, Ron's ire of Quidditch team hopping would hold nothing.

He had no idea how much they knew of what had happened three days ago, but he had so far avoided being questioned and preferred to keep it that way.

He thought at first when he knocked on Hagrid's cabin door that he was out, but then Fang came charging around the corner and almost bowled him over with the enthusiasm of his welcome.

Harry felt that pang shoot through him all over again, his hand growing painful around Sirius. This was ridiculous, Fang looked nothing like Padfoot...

Hagrid, it transpired, was picking runner beans in his back garden, and he came around to greet Harry and offer him a cup of dandelion juice.

"Should we be as worried about this as the rest of Hagrid's cooking?" Sirius said extra loudly just to get that look away from Harry's face even for a moment, he couldn't stand seeing his little pup in such misery every time something related back to him. It was killing him he'd been going through all of this in his past, and Sirius would do everything in his power to correct that now.

Once they were inside with a glass each, Hagrid asked how he was feeling?

"Dandoliney," James tried hard for a smirk and a joke, and Remus helpfully played along.

"Prongs, you can't substitute a weed for a fruit and get the same affect," Remus corrected.

"Says who?" James rebuked, before concluding, "Hark, look who's talking, you once switched armadillo bile with your own," James really did smirk then.

"It wasn't my fault breakfast wasn't agreeing with me that morning," Remus said tragically.

Harry could tell from his look of concern he did not mean psychically, but he simply fibbed he was fine and kept the conversation away from himself asking where he'd been?

Hagrid said hiding up in the mountains, like Sirius once had-

He stopped when he realized what he'd said, and feebly finished with he was back now.

"Subtle," Lily whispered, unlike the boys not pretending she couldn't see Harry's eyes swimming again. Sirius staying in those caves had almost been a good laugh at the time considering how well he knew the area, and suddenly the idea of if it had all been different just wasn't avoidable. If he'd just stayed up there instead of that ghastly house, if everything had been the way it should have and he'd never had to be there at all, if...

Harry instantly switched to saying Hagrid looked better, his old injuries from Grawp almost all faded.

It took a moment for Hagrid to realize what he meant and agreed Grawp was doing much better now, seemed right glad to have him back.

"I imagine that actually would have caused another injury," Sirius stated too loudly again, but he'd keep talking this way until the others stopped looking at him that way.

He was actually considering starting to look for a lady friend for him.

"Please tell me he's joking!" Lily yipped with more volume than Sirius had and easily capturing all attention.

"If he can get one for Aragog he would do it for anyone," James said without remorse.

"Hagrid's certainly becoming more interesting with this whole dating set up thing, maybe he should have a crack at Moony," Sirius smirked while Remus scowled hatefully for that.

Harry normally would have tried to persuade him otherwise, but he just hadn't the energy.

"Well you're just no help at all Harry," Remus grumbled instead of continuing to glare at Sirius.

Hagrid seemed to realize this and leaned forward to speak to Harry,saying he knew this was the way Sirius would want to go, in battle.

Sirius opened, then closed his mouth, he didn't have a true comment for that. The past twelve years of his life would have been a ruin, the last year possibly worse than anything those dementors could do. They ate away at your very soul just by being around, ruining anything happy you could hope to cling to...and then to be trapped in such a place where so many of all the worst memories would come back! Death honestly would have sounded more bearable after so many long months... he'd see James again...

Harry snapped back he hadn't wanted to go at all!

"But then there's that," Sirius sighed, couldn't speak aloud what had just pulsed through him, but he knew he wasn't doing a good job of hiding it at the panicky look from his brother. None of it would have mattered, the reason he had done what he was doing was for Harry, and now his godson spoke nothing but the truth. Sirius would do it all again just to be there for Harry in whatever way he had, no matter how short of time it was.

Hagrid bowed his head, but continued to speak quietly that he couldn't have lived with himself if he'd done nothing when Harry had needed help-

Harry's throat burned as he heard all that. He meant to hold it in, he really did, but then Sirius began to speak, and Harry burst. "I don't want to hear it! I don't give a damn! You still, you-" he was just left covered in ice, the fire instantly forgotten as Sirius' studious expression didn't change.

He would have lived, but he wouldn't be the man Harry had grown to admire and love.

Sirius didn't speak when he saw it all, that Harry had understood no matter how much he'd hate him for it.

Harry leapt up, telling he was going to visit Ron and Hermione at the hospital wing.

Hagrid looked upset,

'After what he just did, I'm not surprised,' Lily honestly agreed. Those had been the words Harry had needed to hear, but there was never a time to say them.

but did not stop Harry, only asking him to come back soon-

Harry was closing the door before he was done.

People still waved cheerfully to him, the sun shone bright above, but he wished they'd all just go away. A few days ago, before his exams had finished and he had seen the vision Voldemort had planted in his mind, he would have given almost anything for the wizarding world to know he had been telling the truth, for them to believe that Voldemort was back, and to know that he was neither a liar nor mad. Now, however . . .

Harry stayed nestled into Sirius' side, his heart feeling as heavy as it had back then no matter how much his mind told him to put it all away and be here with Sirius now while he had every chance he could. It wasn't quite working, the pain from his past would not fade no matter the replacement he had now.

He walked a short way around the lake, sat down on its bank, sheltered from the gaze of passers-by behind a tangle of shrubs, and stared out over the gleaming water, thinking . . .

Perhaps the reason he wanted to be alone was because he had felt isolated from everybody since his talk with Dumbledore.

"Harry," Sirius whispered for him alone, knowing his parents, that anyone else could have said the same, but Harry needed this to come from him. "You'll do what you think is right."

Harry closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose hard, but it didn't stop the traitorous tears coming again. It was all to real, he could have opened them again and been back on that lake edge, the ghost of Sirius' voice whispering in his ear an assurance he'd needed that no one had been left to give.

Remus wished it would have just ended there, that this stupid thing was done. No more should have been said or done, but he also couldn't just stop. Harry needed some closure, and while he couldn't imagine how he was going to get it from that time, it felt impossible right now any of them were capable of doing so, only a reminder of everything he'd lost in his life while living through it all again.

He sat there for a long time, gazing out at the water, trying not to think about his godfather or to remember that it was directly across from here, on the opposite bank, that Sirius had once collapsed trying to fend off a hundred Dementors . . .

James had felt the bitter taint of regret, of not being there for those who needed him since the very beginning, and now even that moment felt like it was being torn away. Prongs had only been delaying the moment, he hadn't really the chance to save anyone.

The sun had set before he realized he was cold. He got up and returned to the castle, wiping his face on his sleeve as he went.

Sirius kept frowning as Harry tried to do the same now. He'd never wanted to be the cause of so much grief to his godson, to anyone.

Ron and Hermione left the hospital wing completely cured three days before the end of term. Hermione kept showing signs of wanting to talk about Sirius, but Ron tended to make 'shushing' noises every time she mentioned his name.

Lily made a watery noise as she kept sniffling, like she was trying to giggle but the noise wouldn't come. She imagined herself the same way at least in that regards, she felt useless as a mother she didn't have to talk and pry things from him when these books were saying it all. She honestly wished Harry had the chance to speak this for himself, but he often chose not to and let that speak for him. She wanted to change that, but remained unsure how. She'd have to find a way to get him off his crutch soon.

Harry was still not sure whether or not he wanted to talk about his godfather yet; his wishes varied with his mood.

"I know I always loathe talking about him," James muttered as he ruffled up his hair in agitation. "He manages to turn all conversations about himself."

"A trait he learned from you," Remus muttered. The two couldn't help it, to take shots at their friend, at each other, it was one thing they could still do to each other this future hadn't yet taken away.

He knew one thing, though: unhappy as he felt at the moment, he would greatly miss Hogwarts in a few days' time when he was back at number four, Privet Drive.

Harry tried to clear his throat, but it still seemed filled with too much snot to hold anything. It didn't mean he wanted to think about that anymore than the others, and thankfully Remus hissed past the moment knowing it would come up again all too soon.

Even though he now understood exactly why he had to return there every summer, he did not feel any better about it. Indeed, he had never dreaded his return more.

Professor Umbridge left Hogwarts the day before the end of term. It seemed she had crept out of the hospital wing during dinnertime, evidently hoping to depart undetected,

"Which she deserves absolutely none of," Remus said in pure disgust.

but unfortunately for her, she met Peeves on the way, who seized his last chance to do as Fred had instructed, and chased her gleefully from the premises whacking her alternately with a walking stick and a sock full of chalk. Many students ran out into the Entrance Hall to watch her running away down the path and the Heads of Houses tried only half-heartedly to restrain them. Indeed, Professor McGonagall sank back into her chair at the staff table after a few feeble remonstrances and was clearly heard to express a regret that she could not run cheering after Umbridge herself, because Peeves had borrowed her walking stick.

The laughter that echoed through the room was long over due, but somehow far more lackluster than any ever would have predicted. After all she did to Harry, to that school, to so many people, this rather tame leaving of the post just did not feel as whelming as it should have. Then again, unless someone, Sirius, had arrived to escort her to Azkaban nothing would have felt as good.

Their last evening at school arrived; most people had finished packing and were already heading down to the end-of-term leaving feast, but Harry had not even started.

"Who did win the House Cup?" Lily insisted on keeping up the pleasant mood with any mundane topic she could.

"It was canceled, Dumbledore's reason was the Inquisitorial Squad made it too biased." Harry shrugged.

"Is that actually how he phrased it?" James said.

"No, he made some great speech announcement about Voldemort officially being back again, though Ron said he was just rubbing it in. What he actually said was something more along the lines of school unity and looking past all our differences to become one again in the face of-" he cut himself off with a heavy roll of his eyes. "I'm not Hermione, I don't remember the exact words. That's just what I got out of it."

"Fair enough," Remus agreed.

Ron was still trying to convince him to do it tomorrow, but Harry still convinced him to go on while he did this.

But when the dormitory door closed behind Ron, Harry made no effort to speed up his packing. The very last thing he wanted to do was to attend the Leaving Feast. He was worried that Dumbledore would make some reference to him in his speech. He was sure to mention Voldemort's return; he had talked to them about it last year, after all . . .

"I doubt he'd make two speeches," James tried to encourage, he couldn't imagine missing the last feast.

"The first wasn't really a speech so much as just an announcement," Harry shrugged in defense.

Harry pulled some crumpled robes out of the very bottom of his trunk to make way for folded ones and, as he did so, noticed a badly wrapped package lying in a corner of it. He could not think what it was doing there. He bent down, pulled it out from underneath his trainers and examined it.

He realized what it was within seconds. Sirius had given it to him just inside the front door of number twelve Grimmauld Place.

Harry's breath caught in his throat, he suddenly looked like he was going to be sick, and none of them looked any better. Remus could already feel small little shivers starting, he couldn't look at any of them, barely saying in a whisper.

Harry sank down on to his bed and unwrapped the package. Out fell a small, square mirror. It looked old; it was certainly dirty. Harry held it up to his face and saw his own reflection looking back at him.

He turned the mirror over. There on the reverse side was a scribbled note from Sirius.

This is a two-way mirror, I've got the other one of the pair.

James looked back on that moment, of feeling exasperated Harry had worried so much about Sirius. He hadn't found his son silly at all for thinking it, but even still, no matter how dark his mind had gone in offering what could happen to Sirius if he were to be caught again, he'd never wanted to imagine this all to come up again like this.

If you need to speak to me, just say my name into it; you'll appear in my mirror and I'll be able to talk in yours. James and I used to use them when we were in separate detentions.

Remus was stammering by the end, words becoming a blur as too many memories washed over him, over them all. Detentions, something as common to their life as homework, and still they'd refused to be apart, but he'd never want them back together again like this.

Harry's heart began to race. He remembered seeing his dead parents in the Mirror of Erised four years ago. He was going to be able to talk to Sirius again, right now, he knew it-

Sirius held Harry tight to him again, his frame going more pale by the second, his eyes wouldn't alight with that same hope in here and Sirius wasn't sure if it was age looking back or simply the boy in here couldn't even hold onto the same hope anymore with Sirius right beside him, his every being prepared for the blow he knew would come.

He called clearly for Sirius, and nothing happened. He tried again, using his full name, and still it only reflected his own face. Sirius hadn't had the mirror when he fell through...

"Magic can't bring back everything Harry," Lily couldn't seem to stop herself explaining, that burning look on his face compelled her to just say something. "The paintings, the ghosts, their just echos, can only do and say what they're magicked to do, not-" she stopped because it meant nothing to him. If this were true he would have long since had his parents back, there would never be such sadness in the world again. He just buried his face back into Sirius' shoulder, struggling to breath so much he was convinced he never properly could again.

Harry remained quite still for a moment, then hurled the mirror back into the trunk where it shattered.

James could all but hear the echo of the glass, feel that more than Harry understood. Sirius' last gift to him, from both of them, was as gone from his life as they were, leaving no more explanation than anything else they continued to be without. Where had those mirrors been all those years, where as the the other now? He didn't believe he'd get those answer's anymore than an explanation for why this had happened to a man who didn't deserve it.

He had been convinced, for a whole, shining moment, that he was going to see Sirius, talk to him again . . .

Disappointment was burning in his throat; he got up and began throwing his things pell- mell into the trunk on top of the broken mirror -

But then an idea struck him . . . a better idea than a mirror . . . a much bigger, more important idea . . . how had he never thought of it before - why had he never asked?

They weren't even sure if Harry could hear them. He wouldn't look up now, keeping his face away as if ashamed of what came next.

He was sprinting out of the dormitory and down the spiral staircase, hitting the walls as he ran and barely noticing; he hurtled across the empty common room, through the portrait hole and off along the corridor, ignoring the Fat Lady shouting behind him.

How could it be that the place was full of ghosts whenever you didn't need one, yet now . . .

Maybe it was because of the detachment from his memories, maybe it was because he had Sirius right now and he didn't want to see the look on his face for what came next, but as Harry felt Sirius tense and try to murmur something, all he could feel was his shameful wish for what his godfather could never have done.

He ran down staircases and along corridors and met nobody either alive or dead. They were all, clearly, in the Great Hall. Outside his Charms classroom he came to a halt, panting and thinking disconsolately that he would have to wait until later, until after the end of the feast . . .

Somehow it was even more painful Harry was forgetting another of Sirius' old things, and one they'd never even thought to bring up themselves. Did Sirius know Harry had the map? It had never really said, but Harry forgetting it now on top of everything couldn't have come at a worst time, they needed this to be done with. It was killing them all, more than having to listen to Sirius' fate, just to watch Harry cope through it all.

He found Nearly Headless Nick just as he was walking through an adjacent wall, and he popped his head back out to see who it was and walked properly out of the wall to greet him. Harry greeted him and tried to invite him into the classroom, but Nick hesitated for a long time before grudgingly going, saying he'd been expecting this.

Remus' face was flushed, eyes only on the book even as his mind wondered how many times a ghost had to have this conversation, how often he'd come across a crying student and the pearly white figures and had never thought about it more than that.

Harry was holding the door open for him, but he drifted through the wall instead.

"Ghosts," James tried to mutter petulantly, but it instead came out in his own ghostly tone.

He asked expecting what as he closed the door, but Nick didn't even look at him as he drifted to the window saying for young Harry to come talk to him, it happened often when students here had suffered a loss.

Harry refused to be deflected and said Nick was dead.

"Does the bluntness help the awkwardness?" Sirius asked him mock politely.

Harry didn't look up, though his shoulders eased just slightly from feeling the rumble of a chest beneath him. He already knew, even looking back, he couldn't have stood to see Sirius as that pearly figure for longer than a breath. To never truly have him again but a shell, an echo, it would have felt colder to him than his old cupboard ever had.

James wouldn't let the moment pass without saying though, "you'd know that better than anyone," because he could never stand wasting a single moment to talk to Sirius.

Sirius just smiled at him, the feeling just a bit forced as he could only imagine how much this was hurting James, how much every layer of this was just wrong for him. Sirius being dead and Harry feeling more for this than he ever had for his parents.

He was walking and talking though.

Nick took a long time in answering that not everyone could, only wizards.

Harry almost laughed in relief, thinking this was all his hesitation was and agreeing at once the person he was referring to was a wizard!

Nick still wouldn't look around when he said he wouldn't come back.

Harry asked who?

"Who were you talking about?" Remus couldn't help but look at him with great concern.

Harry forced himself to look up then, adjusting his glasses that were poking him in the face but still not really able to meet his eyes, just gestured wordlessly at Sirius, and Remus realized Harry had just refused to understand until it had been shoved in his face.

Sirius Black, Nick had said at once.

Harry said he could! Nick had!

Nick agreed wizards could leave an imprint of themselves on the earth, but it is only a pale trod from their living lives, very few chose to do it.

Harry said Sirius wouldn't matter if it was unusual,

"Well you got that one right," Lily managed a chuckle as she gave Sirius a little smirk which he all to happily returned.

he'd come back, he knew he would!

Harry was fixing his glasses stubbornly now, they might have gone a bit crooked from pressing his face so hard into them and that was why his vision was still a little blurry, surely he'd poked himself in the eye and that's why they were still watering, this was ridiculous, he knew with everything in him right now Sirius wouldn't come back.

"Harry," Sirius couldn't help but grab his wrist, to make him stop that before he took his eye out as his face continued to grow out of that sorrow and slowly into anger. "Harry you know I'd come back for you in any way I could, the real way. I'd have done anything to get back out of there, but only, only if it were real, if I was coming back, not-"

Harry jerked his arm free but forced himself to take a deep breath no matter how much it hurt. His lungs still weren't in working order anymore than his glasses, though he couldn't seem to find a thing wrong with either when he kept checking.

And so strong was his belief, Harry actually turned his head to check the door, sure, for a split second, that he was going to see Sirius, pearly-white and transparent but beaming, walking through it towards him.

Remus couldn't believe he was forcing himself to do this. He kept wondering, at the back of his mind, where he was, what was his useless self doing now instead of explaining to Harry Sirius would never have even considered doing such a thing, why was Nick having to be the one to answer for this.

Nick simply said he would not, he has gone on.

Harry demanded what that meant? What happened when you died? Where had Nick gone? Why doesn't everyone come back and this place was full of ghosts?!

They'd all asked these questions at some point, everyone at Hogwarts had to varying degrees. Never before for any of them had it felt so personal, or the answer so vital, even when already knowing what Nick would say.

Nick could only answer for himself, and he had no true answer. He'd simply, lingered. He'd been afraid of death, and he often wished it hadn't been so. He was neither here nor there...

'At what point does the mind and soul no longer intertwine,' the passage from an old book flitted through Lily's mind, when she herself had been looking into this very subject. Ghosts seemed to be the embodiment of that answer, and the moment she'd realized that she'd snapped the thing shut and had avoided the spectacular figures the rest of the day, too young then to fully grasp what she'd come across now, too young now to know that loss and still having to live through it.

He apologized for not being more help, and then he left.

Harry felt almost as though he had lost his godfather all over again in losing the hope that he might be able to see or speak to him once more.

"Miracles happen though," Harry muttered as he looked back to his godfather now, eyeing him with worry, his face flush and alive, gray eyes alert and bright for anything and everything. He did not know what had led him to this moment, but he knew, he would never regret it.

He walked slowly and miserably back up through the empty castle, wondering whether he would ever feel cheerful again.

It hurt, it was as fake as a dupe, but Harry smiled at Sirius, at all of them. He didn't know how, he could not imagine anything but the gray fog still trying to swallow him whole from his past, but he also knew with everything in him this was not true. Ron and Hermione were just down the stairs, and his friends would be there for him when he opened up to them. The ring glistened on his finger for a moment, a warmth unto itself promising a future he just couldn't envision right now.

He had turned the corner towards the Fat Lady's corridor when he saw somebody up ahead fastening a note to a board on the wall. A second glance showed him it was Luna. There were no good hiding places nearby, she was bound to have heard his footsteps, and in any case, Harry could hardly muster the energy to avoid anyone at the moment.

She gave him a vague wave, and he dully asked why she wasn't at the feast?

She said she'd lost her possessions and was trying to get them back, she was putting up signs asking the people to return them.

"They what?" Remus muttered in surprised outrage for what had just come out of his mouth.

"Kids," Lily muttered with a petulant eye on James, who batted his eyes innocently even though they remained rather hard and distant. He felt bad for Luna, but this still wasn't enough to distract him from what was going on in Harry's life, and so he waved Moony on so Lily couldn't start on what terrible youths they were again.

She spoke all of this serenely as she gestured towards the noticeboard, upon which, sure enough, she had pinned a list of all her missing books and clothes, with a plea for their return.

An odd feeling rose in Harry; an emotion quite different from the anger and grief that had filled him since Sirius's death. It was a few moments before he realized that he was feeling sorry for Luna.

James looked oddly at Harry, struggling a moment to see where he was coming from, but it came to him. Harry's face was still sad now, but for just a moment he had taken his mind off his own grief to see what was being done to others, something James had never bothered to do at any sense, at much of any age. Harry had briefly accused them of treating Luna as they once would have Snape, and while none of them had denied it, James suddenly liked to think he wouldn't have for this moment alone, the girl who made Harry see the outside world outside his own life.

Harry asked why they did that, and Luna said she wasn't sure, though she suspected it was because they found her odd. They called her Loony Lovegood you know.

"Yes well, so did they to Moony, but then again, maybe that's why we were the only fools who would tolerate him," Sirius smirked while Remus just smiled faintly and pretended to ignore him.

Harry offered to help her find it all, but Luna just kept smiling as she said it would all come back, it always did.

"She's so," Lily struggled for a word on this girl. She'd have been furious if someone had tired this on her, strung people up all along the castle if they'd even dared mess with her in this way. Serene was a good way to put it, very flowing. Luna simply accepted the way things were rather than trying to force people to behave how they should, and Lily found that honestly admirable, even while she'd be doing the same for Luna's things.

Then she asked why he wasn't at the feast, and he admitted he just hadn't felt like it.

Luna nodded as if she understood this, stating that the man that Death Eater killed had been his godfather, Ginny had told him. Harry nodded curtly, but found that for some reason he did not mind Luna talking about Sirius.

Sirius hummed thoughtfully, Harry noting he almost sounded like a pur rather than his usual dog like habits when he was content. Harry couldn't help the genuine smile that flit across his face then, even for a moment.

He suddenly remembered she could see thestrals to, and tried to politely ask who she'd seen die.

She told of her mother, who was an extraordinary witch who liked to experiment with Charms, and one had gone wrong. Luna had been nine.

Harry mumbled an apology for this, and Luna conversationally agreed how horrible it had been, and she was still very sad about it, but she still had her dad.

"Lucky her," James couldn't help but whisper, thankful only Remus had heard and he was politely ignored.

Though it wasn't as if she'd never see her again.

Harry asked about that, and Luna reminded of the room with the veil, Harry had heard them to.

Sirius couldn't help a well of panic for a moment. If Harry went back there, tried to get him out- he was being ridiculous, his mind instantly corrected. His godson was alive and safe right beside him. As desperate as he was, Remus had clearly gotten something through to him, that the veil was not the answer, there was no answer to making him come back. All that thing could ever do was taunt what Harry had lost.

Harry could think of nothing to say to that, and so again insisted he'd like to help her find her things.

Luna denied him though, saying she was done now and was going down to have some pudding. She wished Harry a good holiday, and he did so as well.

She walked away from him and, as he watched her go, he found that the terrible weight in his stomach seemed to have lessened slightly.

Sirius gave one last comforting brush to Harry, who leaned into the touch just like he always did, he couldn't imagine doing anything else.

The journey home on the Hogwarts Express next day was eventful in several ways. Firstly, Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle, who had clearly been waiting all week for the opportunity to strike without teacher witnesses, attempted to ambush Harry halfway down the train as he made his way back from the toilet.

Remus gave a mock yawn. Considering Harry had bested all of their fathers and then some at the same time, this was beyond child's play to him. It was hard to imagine a worse pain to come than what they'd already suffered, certainly these school yard bullies held nothing.

The attack might have succeeded had it not been for the fact that they unwittingly chose to stage the attack right outside a compartment full of DA members, who saw what was happening through the glass and rose as one to rush to Harry's aid. By the time Ernie Macmillan, Hannah Abbott, Susan Bones, Justin Finch-Fletchley, Anthony Goldstein and Terry Boot,

"Hopefully Ron lets go of his grudge on those Ravenclaws now," James said with his first real attempt at a chipper tone, even being back on that bloody train which always spelled disaster considering who was waiting at the end very time, and the man who wasn't.

"Actually, I think Ginny broke up with him," Harry said in a light, rather forced conversational tone of voice. He wasn't sure where this idea came from, but he didn't feel much care for it either way. He really must have been desperate for anything to smile at, he certainly was doing so now at such a random bit of information.

had finished using a wide variety of the hexes and jinxes Harry had taught them, Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle resembled nothing so much as three gigantic slugs squeezed into Hogwarts uniform as Harry, Ernie and Justin hoisted them into the luggage rack and left them there to ooze.

"Twice on these train rides, this is becoming a tradition I almost look forward to," Remus smirked.

Ron had stepped out to see the commotion and came across the end results, saying at least Goyle's mum would be pleased, he looked better now.

"And there's Ron, always making sure to note the important things," Sirius chuckled.

Harry thanked the others and accompanied Ron back to their compartment, where he bought a large pile of cauldron cakes and pumpkin pasties. Hermione was reading the Daily Prophet again, Ginny was doing a quiz in The Quibbler and Neville was stroking his Mimbulus mimbletonia, which had grown a great deal over the year and now made odd crooning noises when touched.

Lily brushed at her hair, her face distant with distress. The train ride to start all this, and they'd been worried about such things as Harry's crush and the Ministry. Now he was going through again a new person. Though having experienced death once before, this was still something new, even worse. His innocence kept being peeled away, though he'd never had much to begin with, and she worried how much more he could handle.

Harry and Ron whiled away most of the journey playing wizard chess while Hermione read out snippets from the Prophet. It was now full of articles about how to repel Dementors, attempts by the Ministry to track down Death Eaters and hysterical letters claiming that the writer had seen Lord Voldemort walking past their house that very morning . . .

Harry scoffed in disbelief even while he saw nothing of surprise on the others, and he shook his head sadly this was common for them.

Ron softly called his attention then, and Harry looked around. Cho was passing, accompanied by Marietta Edgecombe, who was wearing a balaclava.

"How long is that thing going to last?" Lily asked with the hint of worry now for what Hermione had done, had she really permanently scared that child for such a nasty trick.

"Never asked," Harry shrugged without much of a thought. "If I remember seeing her next year, I'll let you know."

His and Cho's eyes met for a moment. Cho blushed and kept walking.

They watched Harry curiously, but he seemed to be holding this with the same indifference as he had watching a little game of chess.

Harry looked back to his chess game with indifference. Hermione tentatively said she'd heard Cho was going out with someone else now.

"Well that was fast," James rolled his eyes.

"Honestly, it took longer than I expected," Sirius snorted.

Harry was surprised to find that this information did not hurt at all. Wanting to impress Cho seemed to belong to a past that was no longer quite connected with him; so much of what he had wanted before Sirius's death felt that way these days . . . the week that had elapsed since he had last seen Sirius seemed to have lasted much, much longer; it stretched across two universes, the one with Sirius in it, and the one without.

Harry was already struggling again, his composure as flimsy as paper in here. The feeling was growing rather than receding, of how to fit all three of these universes into his head. He knew it was ridiculous, he could treat Sirius the same way now as he had before all this, but at the same time it didn't feel right, just slightly off, as if here were disrespecting his own godfathers memories by joshing around with him as the younger carefree man he'd never known. It just wasn't sitting right, and he knew he needed time to come to term with all this, and just looked pleadingly at Remus to keep going, to finish this and give him that chance. While he'd avoided it in here, the feeling was creeping back now, he did want some alone time before he had to hear more.

Ron said he was probably better off, he needed someone a bit more cheerful. Then Ron asked Hermione who she'd heard she was with?

Hermione said Michael Corner, and Ron looked to his sister in surprise as that had been her boyfriend.

Ginny shrugged with as much care as Harry just had, saying he'd been a sore loser when Ravenclaw had lost the Quidditch Cup, so she'd ditched him and he'd gone to comfort Cho instead.

"What a smarmy little bloke, they deserve each other," James said without interest as he picked at his nails.

Ron looked highly delighted.

"I'm sure he did," Lily muttered with a small smile even as she kept watching Harry, who was at least pretending to keep listening with far more curiosity than was necessary, clearly still avoiding talking to them.

Then he said he hoped his sister found someone, better, next time, casting Harry an oddly furtive look as he said it.

Sirius gave a little wolf whistle while the others started snickering. Harry got a lopsided smile in place, his thumb twitching a bit now out of reflex to brush at his ring unconscionably. It was all still a joke of course, Harry told himself, Ron was only thinking this way to keep his sister away from others boys, he didn't really mean anything by it...

Ginny responded she'd chosen Dean Thomas, was that better?

"Err, no!" Remus yelped in surprise while Sirius and James laughed harder.

"What bloke dates a dorm mates younger sister, that's a spell for disaster if I've ever heard one," James rolled his eyes in agreement.

"Can you imagine the idiot?" Sirius demanded.

Ron shouted in such surprise he upended the chessboard.

As the train slowed down in the approach to King's Cross, Harry thought he had never wanted to leave it less.

"Wait, no, you skipped the best part!" Sirius yelped.

"Ginny told Ron to shut up, and he was in a temper the rest of the trip and muttering death threats to our dorm mate," Harry shrugged, even as at the time he'd agreed with Ron whenever demanded of, he'd mostly just been watching Ginny and that little smirk she'd kept hidden behind her paper for further irritating her brother in this way, it had been quite the show to watch and he'd wished the moment would never end.

He even wondered fleetingly what would happen if he simply refused to get off, but remained stubbornly sitting there until the first of September, when it would take him back to Hogwarts.

"I really do wish you'd find out what happened, just once, let that be now," Sirius said tragically, and it wasn't a farce at a all. It had been there for one shining glorious moment before it was wrenched away, and then it had been left to hover, fester, in the back while Sirius had been on the run, incapable of fulfilling what they'd wanted from the very beginning. Now it was gone, permanently. Harry would never be able to step off that train to a real home.

When it finally puffed to a standstill, however, he lifted down Hedwig' cage and prepared to drag his trunk from the train as usual.

When the ticket inspector signaled to Harry, Ron and Hermione that it was safe to walk through the magical barrier between platforms nine and ten, however, he found a surprise awaiting him on the other side: a group of people standing there to greet him who he had not expected at all.

There was Mad-Eye Moody, looking quite as sinister with his bowler hat pulled low over his magical eye as he would have done without it, his gnarled hands clutching a long staff, his body wrapped in a voluminous travelling cloak. Tonks stood just behind him, her bright bubble-gum-pink hair gleaming in the sunlight filtering through the dirty glass of the station ceiling, wearing heavily patched jeans and a bright purple T-shirt bearing the legend The Weird Sisters. Next to Tonks was Lupin, his face pale, his hair greying, a long and threadbare overcoat covering a shabby jumper and trousers.

Remus couldn't believe his eyes, just staring at that and sure he'd read that wrong until James began laughing beside him. It was wild, and jittery, but he clapped Remus on the shoulder and shouted right in his ear, "there's Moony always coming through for us."

Remus didn't even have it in him to pull away, rub at his ear for the volume, he seemed stumped at what to do with himself. Finally, just a small little part of their wish had been granted, and yet it felt as bitterly tainted as spoiled milk. Because there was still someone missing, there always would be now, and Remus had never been there a single moment before this for Harry. It felt meaningless he'd done it now.

The others clearly didn't agree, Sirius shifting restlessly and prepared to wrestle the book from him if he didn't keep going, to find out what this was about! Was it finally happening, had Dumbledore changed his mind and admitted to another way? Was the Order going to take Harry out from those Dursleys noses at last?!

If James prodding Remus in the side hadn't got him started Remus likely wouldn't have moved ever again, but he shook off the terrible thoughts of this future and forced himself to focus on the now, Sirius still smiling widely and eagerly at him, and so he crossed his fingers to do one thing right and read out a moment they all so desperately needed.

At the front were Mr. and Mrs. Weasley along with the twins, the mother already coming forward to hug her children. Ron took his absently as he kept eyeing the twins, demanding what they were wearing?

Fred said dragonskin jackets with pride.

"Treating themselves a bit," Lily muttered with a raised brow as Remus gave a low whistle of surprise.

"They deserve it," Sirius said at once, smiling widely at the prospect and honestly wanting to snap the book shut on Remus' fingers right there, just let this moment last forever.

Remus would have ignored him anyways, their fantasies would only be worse the longer they delayed moving on, so he kept going loudly to really see what all this was about.

Harry greeted them all, but couldn't help asking what they were doing here?

Lupin had a faint smile in place as he said they'd decided to have a little chat with his aunt and uncle before letting them take him home.

Lily groaned obnoxiously loudly and let her head flop back against her seat. It was so exaggerated Harry couldn't help bursting out with laughter seeing his mother do something like that, and so Remus' expression went unnoticed by everyone except James. He'd realized the moment that look had flitted across his friends face what he could have thought they meant, and while the hope had been there he'd never let this blame fall on him either. "Moony, I don't care what made you do it, you are! Be happy about something for once in your life! Those bloody Muggles needed someone to remind them of who they have to look after until you show up again!" He managed to hiss at him while the other three were distracted.

Remus just looked at him, unable to believe after all this time, after all he'd done, Prongs was still standing up for him, even against himself. He'd finally lost everything in this future, but here and now he couldn't help but smile while he kept going, clinging to the idea he wouldn't be alone here.

Harry at once said he didn't think that a good idea, but Moody corrected he did, and gestured over his shoulder confirming that as them.

Harry glanced slightly and found all three standing there, positively appalled at his reception.

"A gift in itself," Sirius nodded as if his wish really had been made. It wasn't on the same level as satisfying if Harry had just left with the people he should have, but honestly after so much misery he'd take what he could get.

Mr. Weasley seemed rather reluctant to turn away from greeting Hermione's parents, but was the one to say they should get this started.

"Be afraid," James said in a mock spooky voice.

The four crossed with Harry, Ron, and Hermione, Arthur still pleasantly speaking the greeting to them in hopes they'd remember him.

"Hard to forget the man," Lily managed in between a righteous little giggle.

As Mr. Weasley had single-handedly demolished most of the Dursleys' living room two years previously, Harry would have been very surprised if Uncle Vernon had forgotten him. Sure enough, Uncle Vernon turned a deeper shade of puce and glared at Mr. Weasley, but chose not to say anything, partly, perhaps, because the Dursleys were outnumbered two to one. Aunt Petunia looked both frightened and embarrassed; she kept glancing around, as though terrified somebody she knew would see her in such company.

"Come on universe, I don't care who, I want someone to appear and see her there," James said at once, anything to make this just marginally worse for the people who still deserved more than they were going to get, but this was the first time Moony had been in their company, and he wasn't going to be satisfied until they walked away with stains in their pants.

Dudley, meanwhile, seemed to be trying to look small and insignificant, a feat at which he was failing extravagantly.

"Better than trying to look intimidating, he'd just fail at that more," Sirius sneered.

Arthur was continuing his politeness as he said they'd decided to have a little chat with them about Harry-

and how he was treated when at their place, Moody interrupted with his growled voice.

"Be very afraid," Remus agreed with a slight smile now for this show.

Uncle Vernon's mustache seemed to bristle with indignation. Possibly because the bowler hat gave him the entirely mistaken impression that he was dealing with a kindred spirit, he addressed himself to Moody.

Five collective snorts of laughter for just how wrong that impression was, Harry's coming out a bit more runny than he'd meant to. His eyes were misting again. He didn't want to be reduced to tears again so soon, but he couldn't help it, he'd never in his life seen so many people to show him support like this...

Stating he was not aware that it was any of their business what went on in his house-

Moody interrupted again to state that he expected what Vernon wasn't aware of would fill several books.

Sirius gave a wild, unconstrained laugh that didn't stop for several minutes!

"That's too kind, I find encyclopedia far more accurate," Remus huffed.

"Credit for trying," Lily shrugged, she'd have been cheering them all on for someone finally doing something about this!

"Guess we'll just have to settle for these," James tried to roll his eyes like this was all fun.

Uncle Vernon swelled ominously. His sense of outrage seemed to outweigh even his fear of this bunch of oddballs.

"Oh he has no idea," Sirius muttered, his enthusiasm still prevailing over the little frown he carried and refused to acknowledge. What he would give to be there for Harry now, even more than ever before, as gratitude was washing over his little pup now like never before.

He demanded if he was being threatened?

Mad-Eye happily agreed he was, seeming rather pleased Vernon had grasped this so quickly.

"The man has one trick, and now they've all seen it," James sneered.

Vernon barked if he looked like a man who could be intimidated?

Moody began that yes, it seemed so, as he spoke he tipped his hat up so his eye was visible, and Vernon lept back with such shock he collided with a nearby trolley cart and both fell over.

Lily was giggling hysterically now, the triumphant feeling wouldn't fade that finally someone was standing up to that pompous blubber even if it wasn't the man they'd all been hoping for.

He turned away from Uncle Vernon to survey Harry, telling him to give a shout if he needed anything, and if they didn't hear from him for three days, someone would come along.

Remus gave his head a soft little annoyed shake, remembering Harry's second year and how he'd gone most of the summer without contact and it had been practically ignored, oh how things had changed, almost for the better, right? He tried to keep James' words in mind at least Harry could never be so ignored again.

Aunt Petunia whimpered piteously. It could not have been plainer that she was thinking of what the neighbors would say if they caught sight of these people marching up the garden path.

"So, Harry should ask them to come over for tea sooner rather than later," Sirius obviously concluded.

They each said their goodbyes then, promising they'd see him soon.

Harry nodded. He somehow could not find words to tell them what it meant to him, to see them all ranged there, on his side. Instead, he smiled, raised a hand in farewell, turned around and led the way out of the station towards the sunlit street, with Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia and Dudley hurrying along in his wake.

Harry gave one last broken sob as he brushed furiously at new tears still arriving. Sirius had never once been able to pick him up from the station, as any semblance for that promise of a home, a family, and now he never could; but that didn't mean he had to be alone.

HPHPHPHPHP

That last moment always felt a little hollow to me. I know what JK was going for, but it never goes anywhere, the Order never actually acts on these implied threats because the Dursley's were long since scared straight by the idea of Sirius. It's kind of nice they tried to keep this going, but Harry never even would have told them Sirius was dead so they never would have known the difference, the threats never carry through, and so I couldn't manage to make this book end any other way because the book itself ended so dang depressing to me.

With that being said-

I! Actually! Finished! My! Favorite! Book!

For real guys, I can hardly believe this is over! It has by far been the most dramatic, climactic, and emotional one yet, and not all just for the characters. Someone made the review, though I can no longer check, that it would be at the point of The Department of Mysteries that most authors would stop, and while I swore I wasn't going to do that, that's when the original copy got taken down. Points for irony fanfiction! I didn't stop though, I never shall, and honestly even in the following deaths of the last two books none will ever feel as powerful as this one did.

Thoughts on Order of the Phoenix:

I could honestly gush about this one for ages, but I'll try to keep it to a low roar. Hem, hem; The mystery is as overwhelmingly engaging as any predecessor, JK dropping that Department of Mysteries corridor and presenting it as just a dream for so long before it fully ties in never ceased to amaze me how she keeps managing to surprise me like that. The characters are just brilliant, they all feel so alive in even the smallest scene any one person is in, and has there ever been a worse villain created? There are those out there who sympathize and understand even Voldemort, but has there ever been a soul that didn't loath Umbridge worse than the main series villain? I don't even think the Dementors could handle her soul, not really, considering I'm not genuinely sure she had one. The twins had their own side plot and every time it was mentioned I start grinning like a crazy person, there has never been nor will there ever be such an epic leave from that castle. Every single chapter feels like a genuine combination of light hearted life and the shit about to hit the fan syndrome for the last book, and THAT ENDING! Gah, 14 years later and I'm still a mess over poor Sirius and Harry and Remus, sometimes I have to actually stop and realize I'm crying over fake characters because it's all so compelling and just real in the most important way; she made me care from the moment Sirius swore to Harry's face he'd never do a thing against his dead best friend, and then she killed him two books later! 10/10; Favorite book in the series, nothing beats the heavy weight that is Order of the Phoenix.

Instead of making you guys wait before I start posting six, I'll actually have a special surprise for you in the meantime, so you won't just have to go months without hearing from me, so look to my profile for that special little thing coming up in the meantime about November.

I would like to thank every single living, and the unliving if there are any of those who read, person who read this. Every review/favorite means oh so much to me! Thank you to all, and I bid you good day.

[teacup-tai]

Top Five of 2020

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (ish) favourite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

My lovely @the-starryknight thanks for the tag!  I’ll tag a few people, but you probably already did it: @ruinsplume @kasjophe @gallifrey1sburning @quicksilvermaid @prolix- @dazedandinked 

Right. This year was insane, I got stuck first half of the year in Ireland with only 2 friends close by, all my family in Brazil or Spain while I was writing my bloody master thesis (that is what I’m proudest of this year, but it’s not published yet, so won’t go in this list). I managed a lot of hard emotions in solitude, by myself, while reading drarry fics to keep afloat (great coping mechanism, actually!). And after handing my thesis and moving to Spain, I was feeling deeply empty. So I went back to fic-writing, after 2 or 3 years of not even looking at my old fics. 

It all started when I saw the posts for prompt claiming on the @hd-hurtfest  blog. To think how that post changed everything in my life is just bizarre. So I am very thankful! It has been a huge pleasure to go back to fic-writing and to re-embrace the HP fandom, mainly the drarry squad! To get to know so many lovely people and I’m forever grateful for that. 

Here is my Top Five:

hear me (with your whole body): (Drarry, E, 9k) this is the fic I wrote for the hd-hurtfest 2020. I saw @quicksilvermaid’s prompt and I shivered. It lured me so much I had the whole plot in my head as soon as I finished sending the claim. It was so hard to write it. Because the topic is very sensitive: open relationships, sexual mismatch, bad communication skills. I brought most of my bad experiences in all these sensitive topics as if I was purging it from my body while writing ‘hear me’. It was a very raw process of looking into my own still bleeding wounds, but very cathartic. And it was hard because it was my very first drarry (I love drarry and I normally only read drarry, but I’ve never felt confident enough to write it), so I was very nervous. And in bloody English xD LOL but I’m bloody proud of it. I wanted to write something real without making a show of blaming one of the parts, at the same time I wanted to use and unreliable POV (Harry’s) and to bring forth all those very uncomfortable realities of jealousy, insecurity of one’s sexuality etc. in a way people could relate to. I’ve never imagined the response to this fic would be so nice, and many of the comments drove me to deep reflection. I’m specially happy about this fic because after writing ‘hear me’ something cracked open inside of me, in my own personal-romantic life and also in writing. Like a small miracle. And then, I couldn’t stop writing anymore.

Rebel Rebel: (Sirius/Remus. E, 5k) heh, Wolfstar is my OTP *-* So writing this tiny fic with ‘there was no war’ prompt for the sirius black fest was a bloody delight. The feeling of exploring their youth, in the early 80s and the whole atmosphere of that time was exhilarating! Bowie’s concerts, HIV+ and Aids, queer community and old school crushes. Giving them a future and professions was fun as fuck. But the best part was making Sirius Black fuck around, wild and free, you know. Because he bloody well deserved it. I love the writing style I explored there, very influenced by Caio Fernando Abreu, one of my favourite Brazilian writers and it was just great great fun!

Dragons Don’t Know Paradise: (Drarry + Wolfstar, E, 40k+ WIP) I need to post 3 more chapters along this next few days.  I’m adding Dragons here because NEVER. IN. MY. LIFE I thought this story would come out of my head into the pages, and I’m so bloody happy, so bloody proud of myself. I cannot believe how much I’ve written in a month, about a plot that had some path in my head but never a shape, and how this all blossomed inside of me and how it’s coming out just brilliantly. I know I’ll think back at some point and think this and that are not great. But I think this fic is one of my best works, it deals with the queer community, with depression and acceptance, with HIV+ folk, and deep emotions. Everything I’ve ever dreamed of writing. And here it is, and writing it made me manage the fact that I wouldn’t be able to spend this xmas with my family, so I spent this last month with this characters and feeling the opposite of lonely. And to be able to write Harry having a family, you know, being raised by Remus and Sirius is just marvellous. I’m over the moon with wolfstar being great gaydads :D

Scorching: (Pansmione, E, 1.5k) first time I translated a Portuguese fic of mine to English. It was fun to do it, as it’s purely smutty smut and well, I love pansmione and it makes me greedy to go back to writing about this ship. I like how it turned out, but it’s not beta-ed so maybe it’s not great. But damn, I really like this Pansy. ^^

The Old Ways: (Voldemort/Walburga, M, 3k). So, I have a whole word document full of snippets on the Black family. As the Black family is my huge guilty pleasure (that’s why Tainara Black has been my pen name since 2005). I don’t like to think Walburga was only a mad pureblood bigoted woman, I like to think of her as being strongly magical and very sure of herself. Someone three-dimensional with knowledge of Dark magic of the old ways and a deep insanity that comes with legacy of pureness, but also with financial influence and  management of old wizarding land. I realised Walburga is only 1 year older than Voldie, she is closest to his age than her husband or brother (if we follow the Balck Family Genealogical Tree), and this sparked a whole idea inside of me. So this fic is a character study of Walburga when Sirius is only 10 and Voldemort is organising a war, and I honestly think is one of my best fics (even though it wasn’t beta-ed). I loved writing about this powerful witch, that got stuck in keeping her bloodline alive, that gave up on great deeds of power and freedom to become a pureblood mother and wife. But it’s the fic no one reads, so I’m adding a bit of it here in hopes it may interest someone:

He climbs the last step of the noisy, rusty, winding stair, his eyes mapping the place in silent wonder. The rooftop is sombre. Rough grey cement floor and dead flower beds in a far corner, big dark clay pots with dead branches and dry bushes scattered around; the only living thing is an imposing carnivorous plant, it’s toothed lips opening and closing sharply around bugs and other insects.

She is right there, in the centre of the chaotic rooftop garden and he thinks the house is in shambles, and so is she. The moon is reflecting its cold brightness over her as if it were a stage light. He takes a second to contemplate her stance. He has never seen her like this before. It is such an incongruous sight it almost feels like he’s intruding. Is not a feeling he’s used to.

She’s perched in a high frail copper chair, her ankles crossed lightly, with pale bare feet against the dirty coarse floor, one white arm falling languidly from the armrest, her elegant fingers holding a thin long smoking pipe. Rings of smoke rising into the night sky. The back of her skull resting on the back of the chair, he can’t see her face from this angle, but he’s stunned by the imagery.

She looks almost mythical; with her long black mane messy and loose, barely touching the ground. He can’t remember when was the last time he’s seen her hair down, but he’s pretty sure it wasn’t that long, nor were there silver strikes colouring it in a mix of salt and pepper.

“How long do you plan to stare?” her voice is as rusty as the whole house and he scoffs.

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