#the alive shannon fic

[wikiangela]

Ohhhh please some alive shannon for the poor? 🥺🫴

hiii, of course, here's a lil snippet for you <3 (so much of the current chapter is a mess of disjointed pieces of dialogue, and there's some parts I'm rewriting and it's a mess rn lol but I'm getting back to fully working on it istg haha)

“Dad?” Christopher’s voice reaches his ears just as he’s about to turn around and leave the room.  “Yeah?”  “Do you love mom?” His voice is so small and quiet, but it feels like the loudest sound in the world in Eddie’s ears. For a second the question knocks the breath out of him. He didn’t expect that at all, though with all the yelling and arguing their son surely witnessed or overheard, he shouldn’t be surprised. He always tried to make sure that if there’s one thing he never wants Christopher to question in this whole situation, is that both his parents love him more than anything. But he never thought he’d get asked this, of all things. “Christopher,” Eddie turns back to his kid, sits back down on the bed. “Listen to me very carefully, okay? Your mom and I might not be together anymore, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love her. I do, I love her, and I always will.” “Then why did you break up?” His kid asks with a frown, confusion in his little face. Eddie doesn’t feel prepared for this conversation, not all on his own. Shan should be here, right by his side for it. But she just left a few minutes ago, she doesn’t live with them, so he can’t really blame her, not this time

[writingsfrombeyondthegrave]

Helloooo there!

Just wanted to say that I absolutely loved the Astrid x ghost!reader fic and was wondering if you were considering doing a part two?? maybe Astrid finds a way to save them and they end up dating or something?

I hope you Have a lovely day! Xx

An Accidental Haunting Part 2

Astrid Deetz x Ghost!Reader

*Platonic to Romantic*

Requested by anon

Summary- Now that Astrid could see you clearly, an unlikely friendship formed. She wanted nothing more than to be with you now that you two had gotten the chance to spend more time together. She would find a way for you two to be a couple. A proper living couple.

Warnings- Reader was m*rdered, Details about death and the afterlife, angst, depression, mention of cancer, trading one life for another, kissing

The afterlife is a complex thing than many humans never truly understand. Ghosts, often thought of as a figment of the imagination or a misguided illusion of the light, were more real than Astrid had ever anticipated.

Admitting her mother wasn't crazy was a big step in her life. Not to mention the fact that she was gaining feelings for a ghost, this time while knowing about the fact you were deceased. Your morbid humor, self-deprecating jokes and obscene amount of knowledge on the paranormal had a death grip on her heart.

Death was much more interesting with Astrid in your life. You didn't feel the dread or crushing depression as much as before. Sometimes you dare say, you felt more alive than you had when you were actually living.

Lydia had decided to move back into the old "Ghost House" after Astrid had begged her, claiming that she would even consider going to Miss Shannon's School for Girls until graduation. It was only one year away, but she had been adamant about it.

In the end, it happened to be a convenient idea. Lydia's Tv show career had ended and she opted to be an in-area Psychic for those in need. Somehow, however with your meticulous hiding, she never once saw you in the house. You have been very deliberate about keeping your identity there a secret between only you and Astrid.

"I hate to say it, but that uniform is lame" You spoke as you laid back on her bed with a teasing smirk, head tilted in her direction as she tried on the uniform, smoothing down the skirt.

She turned to you and raised an eyebrow, challenging you. "At least I don't have an old rock shirt than looks like you scraped it off of an 80s arcade floor."

"Ha. Ha." you laughed emotionlessly, tossing a stuffed bear at her to defend your honor. "Arcades are fun, but nice try at trying to offend me beautiful"

The smirk that remained on your lips made her heart skip a beat, but she would rather die than tell you how much power you held over her. Your nonchalant flirting always hurt, knowing it never held much meaning behind your words, but she continued to ignore it in favor of her sanity.

"Tell me again" Astrid said as she sat beside you on the bed, making the mattress bounce lightly. "What's it like to die?"

The quietness between you both stretched for a moment before you answered. "It's different for everyone. For some its peaceful, for some its painful."

"I meant for you personally, what was it like?"

Your amused laugh echoed through her room. "What was it like to be stabbed brutally to death? Just a normal Tuesday, of course"

No matter how many times you talked to her about the afterlife, you were always careful to leave out the specifics of your own death. The last thing you ever wanted from anyone was sympathy, especially from her. Sadness should never be an emotion she felt when you were around. So, you opted to made jokes and avoided those awkward looming moments of despair and helplessness.

Instead of laughing, she seemed to be deep in thought. "What if there was a way to bring you back?" She spoke so soft that you almost missed it, but of course you didn't. Instantly you sat up on her bed and faced her properly, startling her a bit at your sudden movement.

"Are you crazy? You of all people should know that's a terrible idea, Astrid. It's a life for a life, a crazy scheme that only the self-centered scumbags would pull"

"I know... I know. But you didn't deserve to die"

You scoffed, shaking your head in disbelief. "You don't know that. you don't know me! I'm a freak, Astrid! Thats why I'm dead, no one wanted to talk to me. Everyone feared me because the only people who understood me were already dead!" The screams you sent her way felt like daggers piercing her skin. There hadn't been a single moment up until now that you had acted any other way besides happy.

Without warning you vanished from sight, completely dematerializing Infront of her eyes. She stared in shock at the wall Infront of her, not knowing how to react.

All of a sudden it hit her, you needed her help to come back alive and she would do anything in her power to help you, even if that meant seeking out her mother for guidance.

The instant regret you felt after yelling at Astrid was eating at you from the inside out. Your knees were pulled up to your chest while you sat in a rickety old rocking chair. You looked over at the town model in the attic to distract yourself from falling even further into the darkness.

What you never mentioned to any of the spirits you helped, was that the longer the dead lingered on the living plain, the quicker your soul decays. The deceased were to move on after dying, in favor of protecting what mortality they died with. Your soul fades and your own morals that you once valued in life start to get corrupted.

"The Darkness" as you referred to it was the depressive black hole that swallows the last remaining happiness and hope that you hold onto. If you let yourself get sucked into that darkness, you may never find your way out of it again.

That is how some spirits get sucked into a loop, replaying their death and their most horrible moments over and over again until there is nothing left of their soul.

Smiling seemed to be your coping mechanism to avoid this, always happy and never upset over trivial things. Never allowing yourself the simple happiness that the living still enjoyed and took for granted.

Lydia was cooking in the kitchen when she heard rapid footsteps descending down the staircase. Astrid stopped and stood in the doorway, looking at her mother blankly for a moment. She couldn't believe how much progress that they've accomplished, yet she feared the awkward tension would always be there lingering.

"I... I need your help."

Lydia stopped what she was doing to look at her daughter in shock. "You do?" She dried her hands with the kitchen towel and quickly turned her full attention to her. "Of course, what do you need?"

"The handbook. I know you kept the one that the Maitlands had and I need to see it"

"Why would you need that?"

"I'm interested in your work" Astrid lied, forcing a small smile that she hoped was more than convincing. The smile that Lydia provided could've lit up every dark corner in the house.

After moping in your sorrows for the better part of that night, you finally appeared in Astrid's room the next morning, an apology ready on your tongue before you saw what she was doing. She was furiously flipping through The Handbook for the Recently Deceased, writing down notes in an old notebook.

You cautiously stepped up next to her and looked over her shoulder. "What could you possibly need that book for? You're not dead, babe."

She looked up at you, realizing your looming presence near her. The bags under her eyes were the only indicator that you needed to show her lack of sleep. Her body physically relaxed from its tense stance at seeing you back in her room. "I have the perfect plan on how to bring you back to life"

You groaned and flopped down into her beanbag chair dramatically. It seemed like your usual playful behavior was back at least. "Why must the living be so stubborn?"

"We are going on a trip, come on" She closed the book and tossed it in your direction, clearly expecting you to catch it. It hit the wall behind you with a heavy thud, thankfully not indenting it. You slowly turned your head to look at the book and then back to her.

"Did you really expect a different outcome?"

Astrid hugs her bag over her shoulder with the handbook in it, waiting for you to grab ahold of her so she could start her ride to the town's nursing home. After a deep sigh you hook your leg over the seat and wrap your arms around her midsection.

Your touch felt like a winter chill, but her body had never been warmer. Her heart beat quickly and she prayed you couldn't detect it. Your chin rested on her shoulder as you looked around the town.

You never were a very affectionate person in life, but for Astrid, you made an exception. There was no fear in her eyes when she looked at you now, and that made you feel as if you were finally home again.

The ride to the nursing home was quiet and quick. Astrid greeted the staff with a quick smile, claiming to be visiting her grandmother.

An argument soon broke out between the two of you as you crossed your arms, not happy by what she was proposing.

"Ms. Silvers has been in pain for years from the cancer. Death was inevitable anyway so what's the issue? She seems fine with it" She argued, and you just tilted your head, unconvinced. It was silent for a few minutes before you finally nodded your head, not being able to find a good enough argument to disagree with her plan.

Ms. Silvers was a good sport as you all headed to the cemetery together. She was a sweet old lady with a cane who seemed to be admiring the world through aged eyes.

"My husband loved this time of year" She spoke, her voice scratchy. "I just know he's been waiting for me. Thank you for this, Lovey"

Astrid smiled, walking beside her and making sure she was alright. You looked over at them, still cautious about the whole thing. Your entire life, you had never put yourself before anyone. This felt wrong, yet the old woman beside you could've been the strongest woman alive now. She had more courage than you could've imagined and you admired that.

The quiet Winter air blew past them, and she didn't so much as shiver.

After repeating the incantation in the crypt and entering, you decided it was best to lead the way. You had been to this part before when you first died. Youve come a long way and grown as a person since then. The confident look you always wore wavered slightly, but they couldn't see it since you were far ahead.

The picture for the transfer was about to be taken when Ms. Silvers reached over to give your hand a reassuring squeeze. "Young love is a powerful thing. Take care of each other, alright?"

You couldn't help the smile that overcame your features as you nodded, giving her hand a squeeze in return. "Tell your husband we said hi, would you?"

The transfer went smoothly, and you both walked her to the soul train together. Once inside the train, she sent you both a sweet smile and a wave before she departed.

Your body healed almost instantly; no indications left behind of what had happened to you. Your shirt however, still remained in shambles.

Crawling out of the crypt, you felt as if a rush of air filled your lungs. Your feet met the grass of the graveyard, and the world moved with you instead of without you. It acknowledged your presence and welcomed you with open arms.

You turned to Astrid with a bright smile. "I don't know how to thank you"

"Oh... it was nothing, really." Astrid laughed awkwardly, turning away to avoid your gaze. You looked at her as if she hung the very stars in the sky. The blood flowing through your veins and the shine of your lively skin looked heavenly to her, and she had to stop herself from staring in awe.

Without warning you cupped her face in your hands and kissed her softly, afraid that you might vanish from existence yet again. Her eyes widened in shock before she allowed herself to relax to your touch. Her hands instinctively held your hips, just barely. You pulled away after a moment and rested your forehead against hers.

"Even when I was dead and I couldn't feel anything, I swore I could feel the pounding of my dead heart as if it was beating for you. I'm afraid it will only ever beat for you now that I'm alive again"

She laughed, smiling freely as she looked into your eyes. "Thats the cheesiest thing I've ever heard you say, you dork"

"So, if I asked to kiss you again it wouldn't be as cheesy?" You smirked, and she swore she could get used to this every day for the rest of her life.

Extra:

"Now that your alive, can you finally change that crusty t-shirt?" Astrid teased, holding your hand tightly as you walked back to her house.

You pretended to think about it before laughing "Yes, Ma'am" You winked.

A/N- Thank you lovely anon for requesting a part 2! I have another Astrid fic lined up and, in the works, currently along with the lost boys and others. Please continue to send in requests and I'll get to them as soon as possible. Thank you all for the love on my writing, it means so so much to me.

If there is a possible part 3 wanted it would probably just be filled with little incidents when Astrid now saves the readers life because they forget they’re alive now and could actually get hurt.

If anyone wants to be tagged in any sort of tag list (doesn’t just have to be for Astrid fics), please let me know!

Also, I apologize for the extensive knowledge of the paranormal that I have lol. The afterlife has always fascinated me.

Credits-

Ghost and Graveyard Dividers- @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

[woodchoc-magnum]

idk. i'm annoyed.

i realise i am a fandom old at this point

and i have seen some shit in this fandom; witnessed the discourse.

and i don't post meta or spec or much of that stuff; i usually put all my ideas into fics.

but guys seriously. seriously.

eddie's current arc is not about buck.

buck and eddie are not currently dating.

buck is eddie's best friend and vice versa.

eddie is not cheating on buck.

eddie is lying to buck by omission, yes, but that is not a friendship ending offence.

eddie is on the very cusp of cheating right now. he went on a date with another woman, yes. he has not kissed her or slept with her. we are at a tipping point. we do not know what is going to happen next.

he only went on a date with another woman because she reminded him of shannon, who he is not over, who he has spent seasons trying to replace.

the point of this show is that none of the characters are perfect - and especially not buck and eddie. they all make mistakes. they have all made mistakes and will continue to do so because in real life, people don't always make the right decisions 100% of the time.

this black-and-white, morally righteous way of thinking, like eddie is suddenly evil now because he's on the cusp of cheating; that it's going to end his friendship, that buck is going to be angry at him for lying - do you have friends in real life? like, i am genuinely asking.

because if my best friend suddenly started cheating on her husband, i wouldn't be mad at her - i would be worried. am i alone in this? like i would be genuinely concerned and trying to help figure out what's going on.

all the shit i'm seeing in the fandom today, all of the spec posts and commentary about the episode and what might potentially happen, just feels like, once again, an attempt to paint eddie as the villain in the story to prop up buck. let's make eddie so terrible that buck has to have custody of christopher, right?

clearly none of you understand how a will works. it's for after you're dead. not for when you're alive.

but the main issue is this - now that buck has tommy, the people who tolerated eddie can stop pretending to like him. there's another option for buck now, so you guys don't need eddie anymore. right? am i fucking right??

i love drama as much as the next person, but in what world would buck turn on eddie because of this? in what world would the 118 shun him? he is their friend! they love him! they care about him! they are a family!

my god, nobody shunned hen when she cheated on karen. nobody shuns bobby and he indirectly killed 140 people!

eddie is a good person who makes mistakes, just like every single other character on the show.

that is the fucking point.

and the way ryan was talking in the interviews - isolation could mean any number of things. we know eddie has a tendency to isolate himself when he's feeling stressed out - does anyone remember season 3? season 5? buck literally broke down his door!

i'm just fucking tired of this bullshit.

eddie's not a bad guy because of this. he has done shitty things, yes. they all have. that's the fucking point of the show, and if you can't understand that or appreciate adult story-telling, then fuck off and watch riverdale.

[nicolegendary]

thinking about that fic that pointed out that chris has had buck through ages 7-14 which means he's known buck for as long as he knew his mom. about to tip over into longer.

thinking about how for those 7 years that shannon was alive he was too little to remember for a lot of it, and then she was gone for another chunk. so really he's had buck as a co-parent longer than he had his mom.

i don't know what to do with myself.

[thelikesofus]

Buddie Fic Recs

REC LIST NUMBER 6! The theme is PINING if you couldn’t already tell. I haven’t done a lot of writing recently but I have done A LOT of reading so here are some of the lovely stories I have come across over the last few weeks. As always, please show these authors some love in their comments xx REMINDER TO CHECK THE TAGS AND TRIGGER WARNINGS

where our eyes are never closing by @rewritetheending | T | 6k

After the lightning strike, Buck asks Eddie to take candid photos of him to help prove to Buck that he still exists. Absolute PEAK Softness. Buck through Eddie's eyes! I was a mushy puddle by the end. 10/10 would recommend

put my heart inside your palms by @markofalover | T | 3k

An accidental pet name, a thoughtful dinner, and a shared shirt. Buddie are too domestic for my health and well-being! I want what they have!!

because we'll all arrive in heaven alive by @neverevan | E | 75k 

During a search and rescue, Eddie disappears without a trace, leaving Buck to grapple with the sudden possibility of a life without him AKA the Mudslide Missing!Eddie fic with pining for daaayyyyyyyzzzzzzz

Left Unsaid by C_M2 | M | 33k 

The discovery of a small facebook group full of tsunami survivors rocks station 118. This fic is amazing!! The perfect amount of pining angst, domestic feels and firefam love and goodness 💕💕

If I Should Fall by @elvensorceress | T | 23k

Buck thinks Tommy has died but it's actually Eddie. He is not dead but almost and they have to figure things out from there. This fic had me feeling like my heart has been gutted from my chest and dissected before my very eyes but it has the happy ending we all deserve. 

the distance to the stars by cloudydaisies | G | 27k

Eddie is the only one who doesn't realize he and Buck are dating 😭 This is a perfectly sweet and angsty miscommunication fic. 

the weekly bet (but the forever kind) by @theleftboobgrabber | E | 49k

The firehouse has a bet and Buck and Eddie work it in their favor. Once again Eddie pining for dayyyyzzzzzzzzzzz. (I’ve been on a Pining!Eddie kick recently). Perfect Buckley Diaz family feels. 

light me and i'll burn for you by @woodchoc-magnum | M | 31k

An old friend of Buck's joins the 118 and he kinda sucks. Eddie pines and falls down a hole (literally). Seriously though the pining and the angst in this fic is just delicious and with a happy ending to boot <3

The Aftermath of Liberation and Love Confessions by @elvensorceress | T | 17k

Eddie makes the love confession to end all love confessions while perfecting the balance between pining and not giving a f*ck. I love me a Jenwyn fic and this one is fabulous as always. 

love bites so deep and we've got tiger teeth by @usereddie | M | 10k

Rather than going to texas with his grandparents Christopher goes to stay with Buck for an extended sleepover and Eddie realizes he is incredibly in love with his best friend. Honestly I am OBSESSED!!! This is officially my season 7 ending <3

hearts on fire by @woodchoc-magnum | M | 65k

This is a canon divergence on Season 2 where Buck and Eddie almost get together but then Abby comes back and Eddie lets buck go and then regrets it while trying to be happy for him. The pining, the self-sabotage, honestly is all one big tasty meal and topped off with a happy ending and a side salad of the Shannon and Eddie friends/co-parents arc that they deserved!!

like a dog with a bird at your door by @shitouttabuck | E | 51k

Set post s6, Eddie is injured on a call and Buck moves in to help with his recovery whilst learning to navigate his feelings for his best friend and pining for the position Eddie’s girlfriend holds. honestly, I’m actually only halfway through reading this fic but OMG I’M ASDFFGGHJJKKL and I just already knew this would be making it onto the next rec list so I'm adding it to this one preemptively. 

[mazzystar24]

Everyone shut up and listen

Sorry that was rude

Have a cupcake 🧁 sit down 🪑 and listen real quick

So we keep saying how Eddie is chasing this idea of Shannon and what their relationship was and could’ve been and that’s partly why he did the Kim thing because he wanted to prove to himself that they could’ve lasted if she hadn’t died and he wants to romanticise their relationship

And now we think we may have an alternate universe episode

So imagine this alternate universe is in his head and it’s if Shannon hadn’t died (are we ripping off buck? Yes but friends who match trippy coma dreams together stay together?)

and throughout the coma dream obviously things aren’t working out for them but we keep getting vague references of him hiding something or playing a role etc (this may be a niche reference but who here read the steal my sunshine fic by @cal-daisies-and-briars ? THAT like the trippy comp het references except merged with Shannon alive comaverse) and obviously surprising to absolutely no one the big secret is this man is stonecold gay but we don’t get told that till the end of the episode after he’s already woke up and we end on a cliffhanger of a buddie confession

Omg and one of the things in the comaverse COULD be that if Shannon had lived buck and him wouldn’t be so close (adding to the hints throughout the dream because why is the world so similar but THIS isn’t) and he wouldn’t be as involved in Christopher’s life and ahhhhhhhhh now I’m thinking of all the ripple effects because of how entangled they are in each others lives and how much those significant emotional moments impact them- like what would buck be like if he never had the will conversation? Or even something as small as ranting to Eddie abt his parents and getting that validation of his feelings? Or Eddie if buck hadn’t helped him through s5? So many thingssss

Back on track- this realisation of his motives in romanticising his relationship with Shannon and what his real relationship was like could be such a quick way to wrap up the Shannon/kim storyline

Do I hate recycling storylines? Yes

Do I need Eddie out of the closet and for his Shannon/kim storyline to be wrapped up in a neat bow asap? 10000000%

Ik none of this would happen but sharing is caring🫡

[beatlesgrl]

Here have a little fic I wrote. I could be persuaded to continue but for now!

It doesn’t happen because of some near death experience. Eddie sometimes wished that he came to that realization during some insane call. Maybe a fire where the floor gave out and one of them fell a couple stories. Or they’re dangling from a cliff and they have to save each other. It would probably be less embarrassing. 

He didn’t want to die or anything, just maybe it wouldn't be as boring as it actually was.

No, he doesn’t realize he was in love with Buck because of anything like that. He realized it on a boring Tuesday afternoon. 

Buck and Eddie were in his living room, talking through the logistics of getting Christopher home from Texas. Thank God Eddie didn’t move to Texas, apparently he just needed to wait out Chris’s stubbornness to avoid telling him about his parents. He wanted to come home as soon as he could, but as he was in the middle of the school year, it was all about when to move him so he didn’t miss a lot of classes. 

There was a ring at the door, and Eddie looked up confused. “Buck did you invite anyone else over?” 

Buck was running to the door but replied, “Nope! Buuuuut-” He opened the door and picked something up, “-I knew this would be a late night sooo....”

The smell of spices and warmth filled the living room, and he recognized the logo on the bag. “You got us Mexican?” 

Buck smiled as he came back to the couch, “Yeah from that mom and pop place around the corner!” He started unloading the smell, and the waft of it hit Eddie square in the nose, “I knew we’d be here for a while and we didn’t really eat before our shift ended.” He got up and headed to the kitchen, probably to grab some plates and forks.

“I love this place...” Eddie stated, then sighed, “If only they had-”

“Your abuela’s guacamole?” Buck finished, and like magic he produced what he knew was an old tupperware container from his kitchen. “Made it yesterday while you were napping. Surprised you didn’t see it earlier Eds.” He sat next to him and gave him a fork. 

Eddie stared at him. “You-you made my abuela’s guacamole? How’d you even know the recipe?” 

Buck shrugged, “She sent it to me a while back, something about making sure you need to keep the tradition alive somehow.” He dished himself some guacamole as well as the enchiladas, and started eating. Like he didn’t just somehow have his abuela’s guacamole recipe. Her sacred recipe. 

Eddie would know. Shannon would always point out that it was how she knew she wasn’t accepted into the family. She would ask abuela every other month for that recipe, and every other month she would say no, or somehow forget, or insist she sent it already. Eddie asked her once why she wouldn’t send it to Shannon, and she would always insist that only family can have it. 

Somehow, though, Buck got her recipe with no fuss. His best friend was able to get something Shannon could never get. 

And just like that, everything started to click in his head. 

Buck is Chris’s legal guardian if anything were to happen to Eddie.

Buck yanked him under the fire engine when he was shot, risking his life to get Eddie to safety. 

Buck, taking blood thinners, searching LA for Christoper after the tsunami. 

Buck.

Oh my God.

“I-uh.” 

How does one go back to normal once you realize that you’ve been in love with your best friend this whole time?

[buddierecs]

time loop/time travel buddie fics

all mature rating!!! make sure to kudos/comment on these amazing works :)

tomorrow will always and forever now be today (tomorrow is our always and forever) (highly recommend!!!) by: withmeornotatall "eddie gets trapped in a time loop on the day buck marries natalia" word count: 43k important tags: time loop, minor buck/natalia, heavy angst, eventual happy ending, weddings, love confessions don't take the money by: hmslusitania "the post-lawsuit time-loop au literally no one asked for." word count: 21k important tags: time loop, post-lawsuit/season 3, temporary character death, getting together, first kiss, true love's kiss hold steady, hold steady by: thetalee "after eddie's bombshell announcement on christmas, buck runs away and finds himself back on his first day on the job. a time-travel fix-it fic of sorts, ft. a stranger that totally just wants to help, honest." word count: 172k important tags: time travel, time loops, supernatural elements au, slow burn, shannon diaz lives, hurt!evan buckley, temporary character death the persistence of memory by: withmeornotatall "buck gets shot, eddie has to keep reliving the day until he can figure out what the universe is trying to tell him" word count: 58k important tags: time loop, eddie diaz pov, angst, hurt/comfort, temporary character death, gay disaster!eddie diaz, make outs, gun violence but i can see all along, love (it was you all the way down) by: diazchristopher "eddie confesses his feelings for buck. buck is absolutely, a hundred percent sure that he does not feel the same way. the universe has different plans." word count: 28k important tags: time loop, post s6, pining, mild sexual content, miscommunication, team as family, denial!evan buckley,

take me, cure me, kill me, bring me home by: dragon_rider "buck is tired. everyone is doing important things, moving on with their lives, while he's stuck in this heart wrenching loop of hurt, neediness and unworthiness. so he lets go. eddie asks for another chance at making things right, at keeping buck alive and happy, and gets several. stuck reliving the same day over and over until he figures a way out, he finally learns to listen to the universe when it screams at him." word count: 56k important tags: time loop, TW: suicide attempt, suicidal thoughts, dual pov, mental health issues, depression, getting together, diaz family feels suddenly i see (this is what i wanna be) by: heroic_pants "drinking alone in a bar, eddie complains to a stranger that he wouldn't feel so confused about his life if he could just see how everything was going to turn out. the stranger has an unusual proposition for him" word count: 20k important tags: time travel, buck/tommy, infidelity, coming out

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

Oh my god new fic option? Count me in!! Especially with angst and misery abounding around the holidays. 🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓

And then I’m always wanting more of Buck and Eddie and Shannon, and now we have little Jane!! Ugh, amazing story, love it. 🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼

And then because it’s me I’m also going to request some trans!Eddie if given the option! Honestly, of all of your current WIPs, I think I’m most excited to read this one in its entirety. 🧜🏼‍♂️🧜🏼‍♂️🧜🏼‍♂️🧜🏼‍♂️🧜🏼‍♂️🧜🏼‍♂️🧜🏼‍♂️🧜🏼‍♂️🧜🏼‍♂️🧜🏼‍♂️🧜🏼‍♂️🧜🏼‍♂️🧜🏼‍♂️🧜🏼‍♂️🧜🏼‍♂️🧜🏼‍♂️🧜🏼‍♂️.

- Sarah

Hi Sarah!!

Ah yay thank you! 60 for 🐓:

---

It sounds like maybe she actually does want to know. Well… What the hell?

“Uh, you remember Eddie?” 

“Your friend?” She asks. 

It feels reductive. His friend. But yeah. That’s exactly right. How would she know any differently?

“Yeah, him,” Buck says. “He, uh… He had some bad family circumstances come up and, uh… He had to move back to Texas.”

Margaret’s face twitches with a lack of comprehension. “And that’s what’s got you so down?”

Buck nods. “Yeah. He’s… He’s the best friend I’ve ever had. I miss him.”

“Well, cheer up, Evan,” she says. Not unkindly. Just, a little nonchalantly. “What’s that saying? You know people for a reason, a season, or a lifetime?”

Buck’s stomach twists. It was supposed to be a lifetime. Buck is in his damn will. He’s carved into every part of Buck. What kind of fucking reason or season is that?

“Yeah, maybe,” Buck says anyway. Because he doesn’t want to ruffle feathers today. Everyone else seems to be in a good enough mood. Even if Jee won’t be in approximately forty five minutes. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Margaret says, squeezing his shoulder. Like she’s solved everything. 

⬅️

Whatever good feelings he had from his mother’s efforts earlier in the day are sort of obliterated. He decides to take a nap at the same time Maddie and Chim put Jee down for one, and when he wakes up around dinner time, he can overhear them all talking about him in the kitchen. And, just like when he was a kid, he sits on the top of the stairs and eavesdrops. 

“-surprised that this is happening again with Evan,” he hears his mother say. 

“What’s happening again?” Maddie asks. 

“His moods, Maddie,” she explains. “It’s just like the last time you were pregnant and we visited.”

“I remember that visit being outright hostile, Mom. Today has been nice, I thought.”

“No, no. He’s being fine. Just… Sulking? Mopey?” His dad says.

“He’s had a hard few months,” Chim protests. “Eddie-” 

“Is alive and well,” Margaret cuts him off. “I worry he uses things like these for attention, when the spotlight would otherwise be on you and your new baby.”

Buck feels cold. Frigid even. 

---

45 for 🔼:

---

“I mean, it feels like I did something. I just have no clue what.”

Shannon gives him a long look. She seems sad. For a moment, it looks like she’s going to answer him honestly. Then her face shifts. 

“Nothing. You didn’t do anything, Eddie,” she sighs. “I promise. I just need some space, okay?”

Eddie is worried. Really worried. 

“Is something going on?”

“No,” she says. “Please. Just… Please.”

“Do you want me to take the baby?” Eddie asks. There’s enough breastmilk pre-pumped in the fridge because it’s Eddie’s night to wake up with her anyway. “Give you a night to yourself?”

Shannon considers this. Worry flashes across her face at the thought of being separated from her baby. But then she nods a little. “Is that okay?”

“Yeah,” Eddie nods. “Yeah, it will. And if you need me to bring her back, I will.”

Shannon crosses her arms. “Okay. Thank you.”

When Eddie leaves the house with the baby in the backseat later, he feels a pit in his stomach. He has no idea whether or not she’ll be there when he gets back. As unfair as that is to her, he can’t help but think it. 

🔼

It’s sort of an unexpected delight to have Eddie and Jane show up after nothing but a brief call announcing their plans to spend the night. Or, it would be. If it were under better circumstances. 

Buck sits on his couch, holding Jane in his arms. His thumb gently strokes the soft hair of her head. Eddie paces around on the floor in front of them.

“Something is wrong,” Eddie says. “Something is really wrong.”

“Maybe she just needs a full night’s sleep?” Buck suggests. He looks down at Jane. “You kind of prevent that, huh?”

---

51 for 🧜🏼‍♂️:

---

“I’m not the one being unreasonable!” Buck protests. 

He feels bad. He’s putting a decent amount of stress on Eddie. Nearly dying twice. Ceaselessly having issues. Having to continually hide a pretty serious secret. Not that Eddie doesn’t also have secrets. Just… Well, Buck’s is a bit more unbelievable. Plus, because of all this, they never got a chance to tell anyone they’re dating. Even if Bobby definitely thinks they are. 

“I know this is really frustrating-”

“Do you?” Buck asks. “Because I can’t be a firefighter. It’s agonizing to shift. I feel like I’m trapped and can’t be two of these huge parts of myself right now.”

Eddie sighs. “Yeah, I do understand that actually.”

Buck’s cheeks heat. Right. Fuck. Of course he does.

“I’m sorry,” Buck says, hanging his head. “That was stupid.”

“It’s fine. I know you’re frustrated.”

Eddie stands to hug him. Buck dips his head down against Eddie. 

“I’m sorry,” Buck says again.

“Don’t be sorry,” Eddie says. “You just… You need to trust that this will get better.”

“Will it?” Buck asks.

“Yes,” Eddie insists. “You’ll get those pins out, and it’ll help, okay? I know it.”

“You know it?” Buck asks. 

“Mhm,” Eddie says. “I watched you heal a crush wound, Buck. This won’t be the thing that stops you.”

Buck takes a deep breath. “I want to believe you.”

“How about this?” Eddie suggests. “Tomorrow is Saturday. I’m at work. Why don’t you take Chris out to do something fun? Something to get your mind off it?”

[buddieisgoingcanon25]

As much as I dislike Kim & the whole Shannon thing just needs to R.I.P. already, I've always wondered what it would've been like if Buck and Shannon had ever had a real conversation. If he'd talked to her when she was still alive, or shown up in his coma dream/some other NDE (the kidnapping?). What would that look like? A lot of Shannon bashing fics paint her as a jealous psycho but I think they'd have a lot in common. If he'd confronted Kim, how would it look? What would he say to her?

I think that’s what a lot of us would have liked to see, if even just a little bit. We could have had seen that Buck and Shannon actually had some things in common… ahem Eddie & Chris. I do wonder what they would have talked about though. Maybe Eddie mostly. But we’ll never know unless they bring her back to be in a Buck (NDE).

[wikiangela]

Hi Vicki!

👨‍👩‍👦👨‍👩‍👦👨‍👩‍👦 and 🏠🏠🏠 please!!

Hi James! thanks so much for the ask! 💝💝

👨‍👩‍👦 - 9 sentences of alive shannon! she's back! (hopefully lol)

“Hey, buddy, I think you’re supposed to be asleep,” he says, a little chastising, but mostly amused.  “I’m asleep.” Chris responds, eyes still shut. Eddie laughs, taking a few steps to his bed and he sits on the edge. He runs a hand through his kid’s curls, and leans down to press a kiss to his forehead, and only when he pulls back, he finds those light blue eyes, an exact copy of Shannon’s, looking back at him. “Sorry if we woke you up.” Eddie whispers, knowing that he and Shan arguing is likely the reason he’s still awake now. They tried to keep it quiet, but he knows better than that. He should know better than start an argument just for the sake of an argument, especially with his kid in the next room – they should be well past that now. “Why were you and mom yelling?” Christopher asks with that childlike curiosity and a sadness that breaks Eddie’s heart, and if he could go back twenty minutes to just say goodnight and let Shannon leave instead of starting shit, he would.

🏠 - 9 (actually 10 bc I wanted the last one too lol) sentences of buck moving in with tommy!

“Well, your place looked exactly the same for years, and suddenly it’s like someone actually lives here. Not hard to notice.” Sean comments, bringing a bottle of beer to his lips. “Showing off for the new boyfriend, or is it his influence?” he tilts his head with a smirk, clocking Tommy nearly instantly. “Shut up.” Tommy laughs again, and thus the teasing about Evan starts. He doesn’t mind. He’s smitten, and in love, and he’s never been happier. He and Evan have been together for a long enough time that he’s pretty confident in saying he thinks this is his forever. So, he embraces all the changes Evan brings into his life.

tagging people who were also interested in those: @bidisasterevankinard @typicalopposite @rainbow-nerdss @weewootruck @pirrusstuff @hippolotamus @ladydorian05

[matan4il]

911 ep 707 first watch reactions

Oh man, I'm actually not sure I have that much to say about this ep.

The entire plot with Mara and her brother Tyson was very sweet, very nice, and way too convenient. One day, shows are going to stop using the phrase, "There must be something you can do!" like it's some secret magic phrase, that makes this sentiment into a reality, AND turns the person addressed into someone willing to risk everything, in order to do that one thing they can do, which is usually something they're very much not supposed to... That said, Denny was sweet, Mara was lovely, her with Tyson was very endearing, and Henren continued to rule.

The storyline with Maddie was nicely handled, both her trauma, and the way Chim helped her use it to figure out the case and help save everyone from the stalker. My little Madney heart absolutely loved it. And Maddie's distress over a baby involved felt very real and understandable, when she's a mom herself now.

But then in a sense, it was clear this has no long term repercussions, other than bringing Brad into contact with Bobby. With his burn scars, and what we know about the fire that Bobby caused in the past, we can guess where this is headed. I trust that 911 will delve into this coming clash with the same humaneness with which it tackles most storylines.

But I'll be honest, I don't really like where Eddie's headed. I know Shannon scarred him deeply, but he was able to let go of her, and allow her to walk away from him twice while she was alive. It's weird if it's now being implied that the reason why he was never able to move on to another serious r/s is that he was stuck on her. The way she died was traumatic and painful, and it made sense that, even accepting that they as a couple were over, he had a hard time dealing with her death, but Eddie seemingly moved on in s4 at the latest. It feels a bit like they don't really know what to do with him, and how to move him on, so they keep going in circles with his character. Kinda like they were with Buck in s6. None of what we saw in that season helped Buck get to some major breakthroughs that we've seen in this one, so this current storyline with Eddie might end in the same way.

I'm not saying it doesn't have the potential to move him forward, and I'm sure it will be presented as if it has whether it actually does or doesn't (kinda like how 618 presented Buck and Natalia as a move forward, even though it very obviously was not), but right now, I'm not enjoying it. I also... even with this idea of having Eddie run into a Shannon look-a-like, I feel they could have gone in a lot of different ways, and the one where he goes on a date with her while having a serious gf he's essentially cheating on, it just doesn't feel great, or true to Eddie's values. Which can be the point, right? That sometimes we're so shaken up, we do stuff that's uncharacteristic. If that's where they'll take it, then it's working, 'coz right now, everything about this feels a little off. Let's hope they do something actually constructive with this, and give Eddie real progress (rather than just give Tim an opportunity to re-use an actress he already said he really likes).

Small mandatory Buddifer moment was really lovely, even if far from what my shipper heart would want. Then again, I honestly feel it's so funny that Buck is dating Tommy, while being married to Eddie, his actual baby daddy. If there aren't a lot of fics shipping all three men already, then IDK fandom.

Thank you for reading! If you’re looking for more, you can find my s7 reactions tag here, and more of my Buddie meta and content in my pinned post. xoxox

[bidisasterevankinard]

Tease tidbit Tuesday

Tagged by @ladydorian05 @jeeyuns @daffi-990 @jamespearce9-1-1 @theotherbuckley @transboybuckley

Opened box with old fics again. Meet Mpreg!Buck 5b. But like the begging of the angst

Set in 5x11, but Eddie stayed to prove Buck is his

After Eddie says some stupid joke and Buck bursts into laughter, and then bites his big red lip, Eddie bends down and does something that he will probably regret later, but now he wants to relax and feel the warmth of Buck around him.

He knows Buck feels something for him, but he remembers how all he and Shannon were good at was sex. So he can give Buck a good night. The only thing he can give without breaking them.

Plus, Buck used sex to deal with problems, maybe Eddie can too.

Buck for a second pauses and Eddie is ready to stop and say sorry, but then the man turns his head to make it more convenient and opens his mouth, inviting Eddie. Enjoying the invitation, brown haired puts his tongue in Buck's mouth.

Buck kisses with all his energy and Eddie absorbs it all with a sense of pride, giving Buck no less passion.He devours plush lips how he dreamed since the moment he saw Buck who looked so beautifully and so happy to see him alive. Eddie really was trying hard to understand how he couldn’t see his feelings before he was lying in the puddle of his own blood thinking it was his last moment alive.

Tagging @hippolotamus @eddiebabygirldiaz @malewifediaz @mandzuking17 @monsterrae1 @pirrusstuff @ghostscowboys @giddyupbuck @spagheddiediaz @spaceprincessem @lover-of-mine @spotsandsocks @loserdiaz @thewolvesof1998 @wikiangela @wildlife4life @jesuisici33 @rogerzsteven @rainbow-nerdss @caroandcats @watchyourbuck @honestlydarkprincess @honestlyeddie @hoodie-buck @heartshapedvows @arthursdent @anakinfallen @andrewblur @shortsighted-owl @devirnis @fortheloveofbuddie @callmenewbie @bigfootsmom @bekkachaos @housewifebuck

[vanmarkus]

♫ Music Monday Tuesday ♫

rules: choose a few fics you wrote that were inspired by a song - not just with song lyrics in title - and share the tune and the link to the fics.

•because we'll all arrive in heaven alive [buddie | 75.2k | Explicit]

this one actually has a playlist which I never shared before, but it feels like a fitting opportunity, so here is the playlist if anyone's interested (the order of the songs pretty much follows the story, because I'm a bit insane like that). and the very first song that gave the fic its title:

•And When You Speak, Angels Sing From Above [buddie | 2.8k | Gen | Shannon-centric]

as the title suggests, this fic came about because of the song La Vie En Rose and specifically the version done by Cristin Milioti on HIMYM (and the whole scene it was in)

•we've got something permanent (i mean in the way we care) [buddie | 7.1k | Explicit | breeding/mommy kink]

I listened to Love Is Here to Stay by Frank Sinatra back to back while writing this, even though this version doesn't actually contain the lyrics used for the title, welp.

•If This Is What The Season Is Bringing [buddie | 2k | Teen & Up]

I guess this won't surprise anyone who knows that I put out 4 christmas fics in december (with a collective word count of over 35k!! how did I do that? 🥲), but I have an entire christmas writing playlist filled with gloomy christmas songs. (btw out of those 4 fics, this was the only one unplanned and solely prompted by this song.)

•You Ring, I Drool [buddie | 8.6k | Explicit]

I wasn't sure if I wanted to include another Christmas fic, but since I have so many, I thought 'why not?' for this one I had two songs that I listened to a lot, but the obvious choice to share is Puppies Are Forever. 🤭

✨I have been tagged by and am totally no pressure tagging the ever so lovely @sunshinediaz @spagheddiediaz @jeeyuns

@exhuastedpigeon @nmcggg @likegoldintheair

@bidisasterevankinard @daffi-990 @diazsdimples @honestlydarkprincess @watchyourbuck

@actualalligator @bucksbignaturals @loveyouanyway @inell @excuseme-greentea mwuahhh 💛

[try-set-me-on-fire]

@devirnis @eddiebabygirldiaz @rewritetheending @wildlife4life @lover-of-mine @daffi-990 all tagged me for fuck it Friday and I wasn't going to post anything but then as I climbed into bed the opening of a buddie supernatural au popped into my head and then tapped it's way into a google doc. I'm not actually going to write a full fic for this (probably) but sharing this little scrap feels in the nature of this tag game. It's not even Friday anymore so not going to tag anyone unless you, dear reader, see this and feel compelled to share something kicking around in a document somewhere. Fuck it! It's always Friday somewhere (if you forget how days work)! Uhhh canon typical violence warning....

Eddie isn’t a stranger to being called a miracle. A miracle baby, he was; born almost two months early when a ghoul out for revenge had tried to snack on Helena’s gray matter. Neither of them should have survived it, but a few weeks later she brought her little bundle of joy home from the hospital, wailing real loud from his big strong lungs. "It was a miracle you were there, mijo," his father told him when he was six years old and shot a man dead, a man with black eyes who’d broke into the house when he was there alone with Sophia, three years old and screaming, Ramon out on a hunt and Helena at the doctor with the baby. "You’re a miracle worker, Diaz," hunters all over the country have told him with a gritty handshake when he’s helped them put something terrible in the ground. (When Shannon had kissed him under the bleachers for the first time, that had felt like a miracle, too. Her lips were soft and her hands had the same calluses as his, she had the same faint lines across the back of her arm from the testing bite of silver blades. Here was someone who knew, who he didn’t have to lie to, who liked him enough to press all that scarred and unscarred skin together with his. Things fell apart, over and over, in the years after that, but still. That first kiss. Not feeling lonely for maybe the first time ever in his life. Was it not a divine act?) He's 28 when he crawls out of his own grave, dirt clinging to clothes and flesh and coating his mouth, his teeth, stinging his eyes. He stumbles home on wobbly legs like a newborn thing, and maybe he is one, freshly alive as he is. He knocks on his front door however many days it's been since he'd watched his own blood mix with Shannon's on the floor of some old and haunted house — clinging to life long enough to see it start to coagulate because please, god, please, they have a kid at home — and after the holy water and the silver and iron and any other test anyone in the family can think of his abuela takes his face between her hands and weeps “Es un milagro! A miracle! A miracle!”  And in a week, in a barn somewhere outside El Paso, he will learn that this time she is right. 

[shelfthe-reader]

Super late WIP Wednesday 10/30 post

What it says on the tin. I’ll update the WIP Wednesday community with all of the random stuff.

BUCKLEYS TAKE LA - @twyrewolf , @aparticularbandit

While inspecting the room, Evan realized that there wasn’t much for him to pack. Sure, he was a relatively sentimental person, but he didn’t want to take much of that with him - just in case something happened. Danny and Maddie would appreciate some of it anyway.  Clothing was surprisingly the easiest to deal with. Evan didn’t need much - only a couple weeks worth, and maybe some nicer outfits - so the rest could go into storage or donated. He didn’t really care either way.

i know nothing about the military ft a secret relationship - @allofthebeanz @zyrafowe-sny

NOTE: GIRLIE IS STILL GIVING BIRTH TO HER SON + THERE ARE COMPLICATIONS BUT SINCE ITS A DIFFERENT POV IT’S KINDA VAGUE SO IT SHOULD BE FINE BUT TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES.

The nurse took that as an invitation to look under the blanket, which Eddie thought was a little strange, but what did he know?  There was a brief pause, followed by an uncomfortable silence.  “Okay, Shannon, we may have to do things a little differently now,” the nurse approached.  Eddie could feel Shannon’s pulse quicken. It definitely wasn’t the ideal situation, and he started praying.  “Differently? What do you mean by differently?”

FBN: THE FIC - @auburnlaughter @loyal-house-of-lupin @hurricanebreeze @eriquin @kallisto-k

The Captain gestured to the seat opposite of himself and Buck sat down and took in the sight in front of him.  The Captain was thumbing through a file. His own, Buck figured. T.K., though he had his own copy, opted to continue staring into Buck’s soul like it had personally offended him.  Not cool, man.  Channeling some of the Diaz Sass, (It’s not ‘sass’, Buck, Eddie would argue, I just can’t deal with it anymore) Buck decided to take a shot.  “You look like you want to ask me something, Strand. Wanna bite?” T.K smirked, placing his forearms on the table and leaning in towards Buck.  “Would you,” he started, “or would you not commit a hate crime while on shift?” What the fuck?  Out of any outrageous question Buck thought he was going to get, that was the last thing he expected.

Re-evaluate Your Decisions Bestie - @lizhly @tamsinswriting @somefishycat @asha10100101010 @wizisbored

@oriharaizayadividesintoslytherin @whimsicalmeerkat @post-and-out

NOTE: THERE IS A CW FOR ALLUSIONS TO SU*C*DE AT THE END TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES

Eddie felt his eyes well up in tears, but he did nothing to fight them.  Ignore them, his father would tell him. Real men don’t cry.  He tried not to think of his father. Being a real man got him into this mess.  “Did he tell you anything else?” He whispered, not trusting his voice. Carla glared at him, but there was a softness to it. That was the best part about Carla, Eddie decided. She still loved him, even if he was being an ass.  “Not much, Eddie,” she replied. “The poor boy wouldn’t even tell me where he was going. He doesn’t trust anyone right now. But…” “But what, Carla?” Eddie begged. “What did he tell you? We need, I need to know if… if he…” Eddie trailed off, not daring to finish the sentence. The whole room understood, though.  Carla wrapped Eddie in her embrace, and, though it was still a bit stiff, it was still warm enough. “Oh Eddie,” she said. “No need to worry about that, baby. He handed me a stack of transfer papers, not resignation forms. He’s okay. Well, not okay, exactly, but alive.”