#we know literally nothing but the bare minimum at this stage

[woodchoc-magnum]

idk. i'm annoyed.

i realise i am a fandom old at this point

and i have seen some shit in this fandom; witnessed the discourse.

and i don't post meta or spec or much of that stuff; i usually put all my ideas into fics.

but guys seriously. seriously.

eddie's current arc is not about buck.

buck and eddie are not currently dating.

buck is eddie's best friend and vice versa.

eddie is not cheating on buck.

eddie is lying to buck by omission, yes, but that is not a friendship ending offence.

eddie is on the very cusp of cheating right now. he went on a date with another woman, yes. he has not kissed her or slept with her. we are at a tipping point. we do not know what is going to happen next.

he only went on a date with another woman because she reminded him of shannon, who he is not over, who he has spent seasons trying to replace.

the point of this show is that none of the characters are perfect - and especially not buck and eddie. they all make mistakes. they have all made mistakes and will continue to do so because in real life, people don't always make the right decisions 100% of the time.

this black-and-white, morally righteous way of thinking, like eddie is suddenly evil now because he's on the cusp of cheating; that it's going to end his friendship, that buck is going to be angry at him for lying - do you have friends in real life? like, i am genuinely asking.

because if my best friend suddenly started cheating on her husband, i wouldn't be mad at her - i would be worried. am i alone in this? like i would be genuinely concerned and trying to help figure out what's going on.

all the shit i'm seeing in the fandom today, all of the spec posts and commentary about the episode and what might potentially happen, just feels like, once again, an attempt to paint eddie as the villain in the story to prop up buck. let's make eddie so terrible that buck has to have custody of christopher, right?

clearly none of you understand how a will works. it's for after you're dead. not for when you're alive.

but the main issue is this - now that buck has tommy, the people who tolerated eddie can stop pretending to like him. there's another option for buck now, so you guys don't need eddie anymore. right? am i fucking right??

i love drama as much as the next person, but in what world would buck turn on eddie because of this? in what world would the 118 shun him? he is their friend! they love him! they care about him! they are a family!

my god, nobody shunned hen when she cheated on karen. nobody shuns bobby and he indirectly killed 140 people!

eddie is a good person who makes mistakes, just like every single other character on the show.

that is the fucking point.

and the way ryan was talking in the interviews - isolation could mean any number of things. we know eddie has a tendency to isolate himself when he's feeling stressed out - does anyone remember season 3? season 5? buck literally broke down his door!

i'm just fucking tired of this bullshit.

eddie's not a bad guy because of this. he has done shitty things, yes. they all have. that's the fucking point of the show, and if you can't understand that or appreciate adult story-telling, then fuck off and watch riverdale.

[ssruis]

Also wrt people hating asahi

(Curtain Call)

Let’s not forget that *Rui* was the one to accept Asahi’s (incredibly generous, life changing & career starting, completely normal to do business wise) offer, and that *Asahi* was the one to reject Rui and tell him to stay with WxS. Very graciously I might add. Idk how to tell you guys this but the acting business is a business and offering people jobs is a normal thing that happens. Asahi saw someone who was insanely talented working with what is basically the bare minimum of tools he can get and essentially offered Rui the chance to work with all the resources he could ever want.

Wxs is incredible and I love them all so so much so this is said with as much respect as possible but love and light we need to remember that Rui “literally could revolutionize the tech industry” “an actual genius with intelligence and creativity on par with famous and renowned inventors” Kamishiro was, at this point, working in a small troupe. As the sole director/set and prop creator/special effects/stage hand/special effects guy. Out of his garage. Performing on a small outdoor stage that is very old. in a theme park. This is like if Nikola Tesla/Da Vinci/[insert famous revolutionary stage director here] was working at a tiny stage off the beaten path in Disney World to audiences that primarily consist of people under the age of 18. Like if Michelangelo or Van Gogh or Monet were working with craft store art supplies. Obviously there’s nothing wrong with that if it’s what they chose, and Rui did choose this and enjoyed it immensely, but if you were in a position to offer them unlimited resources/supplies/etc would you not do so?

I mean. Sakurako is someone who was also asked to join ArcLand if that gives you an idea of how prestigious of an offer that is.

(Phoenix event)

I would actually argue that Asahi is super based & sick as hell for offering Rui the opportunity of a life time that would pave the way for him to achieve his dreams after knowing him for like. What. A week? And even turning Rui down for Rui’s own well being. If Asahi was an asshole or even just less observant/kind WxS would not exist anymore.

& then Asahi proceeded to 1) continue to be very friendly w WxS and hang out with them outside of work

(Area convo)

2) be a professional contact/source of advice in the acting industry for all of them (or at least Tsukasa, who we know talks to him occasionally if not semi regularly)

3) tell tsukasa about a very useful and door opening workshop

(To the gleaming stars)

As readers we’re obviously invested in WxS staying together and we know how important they are to each other (and to rui specifically in this case), but Asahi barely knew WxS when he made that offer. He barely knew Rui. Him making that offer was recognizing the insane amount of talent Rui has why is that something y’all are mad at.

Tl;dr Asahi did nothing wrong leave him alone

[something-about-sunflowers]

hi, I saw your tags on the post with con trying the fake leg for the first time. do we know it was uncomfortable for him? it seemed to me like the grunts are him acting how izzy would be walking at that stage (since it's the skinny leg) and not con being in pain. if he was in pain and the producers were not caring that's so important to know though

Both he and the props department have previously called it 'painful for everyone involved'. There are existing mobility aids they could have used to achieve the same effect but them choosing to diy something with this purpose in mind is irresponsible because mobility aids used by people who don't actually need them, especially when they're not made properly/to the users exact dimensions, can cause serious harm long term. The spindle prosthetic at the very least was too tall for Con, bare minimum it fucked up his hip while filming, but especially with older people injuries like that can stay with you long term. It could have also injured his knee with the way he'd have had to put his weight onto it.

HBO has a history of injuring actors and not actually giving half a shit about it as well. Literally, Kristian was permanently disabled while filming for GoT. I get not wanting to assume if nothing has been said outright (though it has) but he doesn't actually even need to have expressed that it hurt him to know that it was dangerous and irresponsible of the props department and everyone involved who okayed the idea.

[delitaheiral]

I know we all hate argath etc etc but can we just acknowledge that he’s one of the funniest characters in the game for dedicating his whole entire life to social climbing back into the kind of position he ‘deserves’ while also being absolute dogshit at the bare minimum of etiquette and decorum. he finally meets a beoulve and immediately creeps him out by acting desperate. he gets an audience with dycedarg and accomplishes nothing but pissing him off. he plays with the life of his marquis because he’s too wrapped up in his pissing contest against the poor to get through Freeing a Hostage 101. literally bro is so mad at the heirals for being on the grand stage of ivalice when he should’ve been worrying about the fact that delita is consistently delivering the performance of a lifetime while argath is flubbing his way through the lines of the b-plot

[solarwynd]

https://www.tumblr.com/solarwynd/747123700874297344/i-saw-this-old-jimin-tiktok-on-my-fyp-about-his?source=share

I saw some being like "oh she's posting jimin's videos on her Instagram where people are putting hearts and calling them cute, he's definitely dating her" and I'm like WHAT??? What are you 9 ??? Who even thinks like that?

Also people tend to Forgot that he's literally THEE PARK JIMIN like he's not just an any idol but he's someone the whole industry talks about when it comes to dance and performance. There won't be a single moment even in future where they'll talk about the best dancer/perfomer of the industry and they won't mention jimin cause he's a "IT" in that department. They're in the fandom so they see him regularly so think he's just their best friend or something but he's a celebrity with a bigg reputation and impact. The dancers and perfomers look upto him and would do anything to share a stage with him. Jimin is just as significant as BTS even as a solo. If i danced with him as the way the girl did (I'm sorry idk her name, but it's the girl many call his reflection 😅 and she was the one who was posting all the stories from fans where she was tagged and doing choreo with him) i would literally never let anyone forgot who i danced with lol.

Idk what kind of alternate universe these stupid people be living and when you tell them he ain't dating her, they start lecturing you "why? Because she's just a backup dancer? So what? Love can happen with anyone" and I'm like brother move??? 😑😑😑 I'm sorry but kpop really has the stupidest arguments and like who even thinks that far over something so normal? I wouldn't think he's dating someone until unless we get a proof cause nothing these boys do can suddenly make me think to they're dating xyz cause they literally do the bare minimum than than anyone else in entertainment industry.

“Armys always say that they would be fine with bts dating. They talk about the future, not the present tense, because when there are any rumors about a relationship, armys deny it

In short

Armys: members can date anyone they want, they are adults and we respect them and their privacy🥰

Also armys when there is real evidence that one of the members has a girlfriend: impossible 🙈🙉🤬🤥”

Army have such a long history with never being able to be normal about the women BTS interact with. And some of them think being “normal” is to over compensate. Even besides the sk one who did the reflection portion, there was the one from fallon that people were putting on a pedestal for no reason. Like y’all had no idea this woman even existed before now.

They had found her socials the minute after that episode aired and started to follow her then wanted to act like that wasn’t weird. They’ll stress themselves out over the same scenarios they created in their own heads because when they see these men with women, they’re imagining their potential futures where they’re not the one who will be with them romantically.

I think TH with Jennie (and JK with all the girls he’s been caught with) are the only examples we’ve gotten of any of BTS actually being with women. Some people say that the reason armys were upset about TH being with Jennie is because they hate her. And while that’s part of it, they didn’t know any of the girls JK has been seen with. And they’re still in denial that he could have been with them in a dating sense. They simply just don’t like the idea of them dating period.

[opinated-user]

first of all, LO, you literally described yourself on the first parragraph. you don't have any respect for any culture, as demostrated for how you treat your "native heritage", but especially none for non western ones. neither the culture or the people for that matter. everytime you have a chance to consider cultural differences or appreciate them, you rolled them into the dirt and claim they don't matter because your own cultural interpretation should be enough. you were the one who in a stream sounded positively giddy at the idea of the USA destroying Japan so throughfully that now there's no real difference between the culture, which means celebrating the total colonization of Japan. that's one of the more openly hateful and disgusting things i have ever heard anyone say about another country, and i'm not even counting the times you refer to the entire country as being filled with pedophiles. second of all... LO, when have you ever looked into any of this? when? because what i have seen, Japanese have a crisis with overworking and people being taken to their absolute limits because of work... since the 90s at least. by saying that it's just capitalism then you ignore the very real history of how the economy of Japan was affected since the first bubble exploded. if it was just "late stage capitalism", then every creative person in the west too would be sleeping on the studios to keep working first hour in the morning and until they literally fell to sleep on the studios. it happens in the west, the reason why people protest for the bad treatment of animators and especial effects people, but it's not nearly as common as it happens in japan. read the accounts of managakas who burned out, were close to it or for some miracle withstand work hours that we can't even imagine here in the west and then tell me it's the same. it's not. in fact, by claiming that there's no cultural factors and it's all some big and vague "late stage capitalism", you're erasing how serious the issue is. you're erasing the culture entirely out of the question and making it about some universal form of capitalism, as if capitalism itself affected all countries and cultures exactly the same around the globe when it very much doesn't do that. how can you say that and pretend like you're not the racist one? third... no, actually, anime wasn't censoring anything. western companies who bought that anime for cheap and thus gave it the bare minimum in term of care censored stuff. Sailor Moon had accidental incest lesbian cousins very obviously in love because of the censorship... something i imagine you were actually pretty okay with. if only they were sisters, then you'd have loved it a lot more. the people who made those animes had nothing to do with that decision, they had no control over how those companies worked. Ghost Stories is an example of a dub company having so much liberty to do whatever they wanted that they completely reinvented the story and characters into something completely different. again, without anyone involved with the original anime having any power to do anything about it or even knowing it was happening. LO keeps having this idea that Japan is making any sort of effort to appeals to westeners and they do not. they make anime for themselves, first and foremost. rather colonialistic mindset to have. so, indeed, those animes were westernized... to avoid queer themes. and it was all done by westeners. once again, this is LO riding the corporate train to avoid blaming those poor defenseless companies and still making it about how the people in Japan are the ones always in the wrong, because she's a racist ignorant white person.

[struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor]

You clocked it with your opinion on Taemin's album. I was honestly excited to see what he would come up with now that he was "free" only for him to bring... the exact same thing as always. I listened to all his albums and I truly like a bunch of his songs but his alleged versatility is nowhere to be found. Maybe he's still too influenced by the sound SM crafted for him but the thing that bothers me the most about his discography is the fact every song he releases could be part of literally any of his albums and it would make no difference because his sound is so monolithic and static. Nothing has evolved in these ten years of career. I started losing faith when it was revealed that the TT would be called Sexy In The Air. I kinda cringed not only because of the title itself but reading the fans' reactions. I know that acting like your idol just invented the wheel is standard behavior but Taemin stans are constantly running with the narrative that he's pushing the envelope and testing the limits when that stopped being true years ago. I mean, my man already released a song called Sexuality back in 2016, and maybe it was bold back then, but releasing Sexy in the Air at his old age in 2024 is just corny. The concept pictures are all over the place and the MV is terrible. I would love to see him evolve because I do believe his very talented and capable but he seems so set in his ways

Yeah, very true about his discography! I felt like there was some progress or shift before he enlisted, yet he came back buff and wanting to prove he still "got" it, hence the return to the sound that made him popular imo.

Taemin is pretty overrated, and I mean no disrespect to his talent and legacy. His dancing skills aren't overrated, he's an excellent dancer, yet people don't like to acknowledge that other idols are on par with him; when he isn't lipsyncing, his stage presence is good, but not amazing imo; and his vocals are distinct and solid from a technical pov, but not versatile and even annoying and unpleasant to listen to sometimes. Taemin is good, but I haven't seen much progress from him lately and his artistic vision has been a miss for me. I also think it's shameful that he's a veteran idol and yet still lipsyncs music show performance, and others probably. And I find that his stage presence is good but not mindblowing. I noticed that when the choreo isn't that interesting his stage presence doesn't stand out. And I already commented on his vocals which seem to be unfairly praised, but we know kpop fans eat up the bare minimum and all SM vocals.

Anyway, I think kpop stans tend to overhype all the older idols that "paved the way" for BTS and ignore BTS and other younger idols. SM idols are also seen as gods... Taemin may be one of the "idol of the idols" but I'd say he's shown where he lacks and doesn't have to be praised as if he's untouchable. He is a great artist, no doubt, but I agree with everything you said.

Thanks for the ask!

[solar-halos]

i think we need to talk about lucy gray

before we get into the bulk of the rant, i want to clarify i’m not denying that lucy gray is very clever and very good at emotionally manipulating people. you have to be, as someone who makes a living out of performing for other people. and, seeing as she already relied on that skill to survive without the capitol being in the picture, she’s obviously very good at making people like + root for her

the point of this post isn’t me being like “lucy gray has done nothing wrong in her entire life” bc i honestly don’t think that’s true. like, with the war ruining her childhood and the games ruining her teenage dirtbag era and snow ruining what’s left of her adulthood, it would surprise me if she’s not at least a little bit fucked up. she’s not a poor lil lamb or a ruthless killer, but a secret third thing. emotional manipulation is one of her strengths, but i also think it’s her biggest weakness as well

so, without further ado, let’s get into the actual rant!

we obviously know billy taupe sucks. i’m gonna try to not let my own headcanons get in the way of what i’m saying too much, but based on the fact this man literally had to get shot to finally shut the fuck up about running away with lucy gray, i think it’s safe to say that he was obviously very controlling and possessive. but he was always outward with it, unlike snow

so here lucy gray is, in the capitol, because billy taupe got his feet muddy and that’s somehow HER problem, and there’s this guy there! and he’s not (outwardly) repulsed by the fact she lives in the districts! we already know that people view snow as a very genuine person, so what’s lucy gray supposed to think? everyone in the capitol is so intent on treating her and the other tributes like animals, so snow doing less than the bare minimum and sneaking her a couple crackers every now and then probably comes across as a very touching display of humanity for her

and then she gets back home, and there are moments where she’s like “damn my capitol boyfriend is acting odd as fuck” but what’s she got to compare him to? billy taupe, the living embodiment of a sweat stain. someone who has an explosive temper, someone who isn’t intimidated by the idea of immediately getting aggressive and confrontational when something doesn’t go his way, someone who is very transparent with his ickiness. lucy gray was probably over the moon that she ditched billy taupe and his tobacco ridden lungs for someone like snow. she probably thought she was lucky that she seemingly got this whole romance thing down on the second try

and you know what? i absolutely do think lucy gray not only blamed herself for these two failed relationships, but for winding up in the games in general. *in my experience* there is a lot of guilt mixed in with removing yourself from a toxic relationship. instead of being like “slay i don’t have to deal with all this weird bullshit anymore B)” you start blaming yourself for not leaving sooner, or for not acknowledging the signs, and self-blame is especially common for people that have been cheated on. it seems like lucy gray left immediately after billy taupe cheated on her (yay!), but it also seems like we caught her in the second stage of the breakup (anger). the bargaining will come later

and, after snow reveals himself as someone who is, in fact, an aggressive person with an explosive temper, i think lucy gray would definitely start to blame herself for how common this pattern of behavior is from the guys she’s dating. you know, as if it’s her fault that the people in her life treat her like shit

i guess this sounds like a very pointless rant, but cmon! breakups are already so heavy and world altering when you’re 16, but being cheated on? then getting sent to your death by the girl your ex cheated on you with, as if it’s your fault? then your new boyfriend who you thought was sooo much sweeter and more thoughtful than your old boyfriend pulling a gun out on you, as if him murdering his “best friend” is also your fault? goddam! she’s not just processing the games anymore—she’s processing a clusterfuck of betrayal and attempted murders that take place outside of the arena. her being reaped is nobody’s fault but mayfair’s for getting so territorial over a boy that probably smells like a soggy, dirty sock, but lucy gray would absolutely internalize this until she starts blaming herself for not “seeing the signs sooner” or not being able to “keep him happy” before billy taupe wandered off and got her shipped to the capitol

i also want to acknowledge how different she is around billy taupe in comparison to snow, bc her behavior with billy taupe was one of the reasons why snow was so distrustful of her at the end of the book. but tbh if i wasn’t worried about saying something that would start a screaming match between someone who cheated on me and looked the other way as i was being sent to my DEATH, i’d start biting too! no jk but i think the the thing with that is lucy gray didn’t have to be as careful with how she approached billy taupe bc she could literally just kick him off her property if he started acting up and the covey would be chill with it. before the breakup, they’d both have to deal with the fallout of losing their tempers, so lucy gray finally having the opportunity to tell him to fuck off (as well as her trauma from the games) probably influenced how much more boldly she interacted with him after she got home

idk i just think viewing her as some sort of master manipulator who solely viewed snow as an exit ticket reads a bit too much like snow going sicko mode in the woods after he somehow convinced himself that lucy gray is out to get him bc the capitol forced her to play a game and she won. i genuinely do think she liked snow at the beginning. she was very vulnerable by the time they met, and while i do believe she knew snow was her best shot at leaving the arena alive, she had more important things on her mind than thinking about if her literal mentor giving her food so she doesn’t starve to death is part of some sort of longcon mind game extravaganza. also her already being distrustful of him but still staying with him after she won also seems like a longcon mind game extravaganza, but i don’t see what her motive would be for doing that

(don’t get it twisted tho i looove fanfics where lucy gray is like “this boy is not my fuckinf type but i’ll be damned if i won’t eat his food.” there was a fanfic on ao3 where the main pairing was lucy gray and sejanus and <3 oh i love that so much she deserved someone genuinely sweet in her life)

this concept sounded so much better in my head but basically the gist of what i’m trying to say is that there’s probably a lot of self hatred on lucy gray’s part for how awful her life turned out. (also i’m not trying to boil down her character to the guys she’s had romantic relationships with, but i think there is something to be said about how snow views things like love and obsession and control as things that are very much.. interchangeable)

actually here’s the gist of the gist:

“fool me once, shame on me. fool me twice, also shame on me” -lucy gray after two different boyfriends both try to murder her for having the audacity to think for herself

another disclaimer before i end off this post: i don’t mean for this to come across as me bashing anyone who has theories about lucy gray wanting snow on her good side bc she wanted a higher chance of surviving. maybe she was just stringing him along, or maybe her already fucked up perception of love paired with a wholly fucked up situation made her think he was much sweeter than he was

or maybe it’s a secret third thing

[torialefay]

So funnily enough he does get laser hair removal but it's not permanent, it just grows back finer so he'd still get armpit hair.

I think he'd get laser on his face too most likely, I know some of the members like Hyunjin and Jeongin don't get laser and shave every day.

Which like- their poor skin 😭😭 I couldn't imagine doing that all the time.

I think because in Australia, it's not common for men to be hairless so I still need to get used to it and seeing them so smooth all the time.

I forget that Korean men do in fact have hair everywhere else except their chest and I'm a girl that's pro body hair on all genders because it's a sign of maturity for me.

I get the lack of facial hair, I somewhat get the lack of underarm hair because I'm sure that helps with sweat.

But let them have their leg and arm hair at least haha.

Also I'm curious as to how pheromones would work with them because Korean men don't get body odour and their sweat doesn't smell.

And before someone pitches in and is like 'Chris and Felix are Aussie'.

Yeah they're born in Australia but they still have the genetic body type of a Korean male.

So would Chris just not stink at all?? Even after a workout?

Because we all know Hyunjin sweats like crazy on stage but even the members says he doesn't smell afterwards.

And moving topic- I wonder how Chris and the other members would go being around someone who gets body odour?

If I don't wear deoderant I absolutely stink and it's worse in the summer, I'm reapplying deoderant multiple times a day or else I'd smell like a garbage truck haha.

first of all, how do you have insider info about his armpit habits????!?! how do you know literally everything omg omg

but it makes me wonder ab the korean men population in general and how they feel about laser. like is it something that would be encouraged & not looked down upon? bc i feel like (and i may be totally wrong) a lot of guys in aus would find it a bit strange & unnecessary. && since chris grew up in both, maybe he'd just have to figure out what side he's on idk? like im sure the company makes him be hairless one way or another, but i feel like getting laser is no joke, especially for someone like him who looks so masculine. i'm thinking that maybe since both of his parents have had work done in the past, maybe that's made him more open to those types of things?? idk it's really not a big deal, but my brain is just like computing

but i agree, i like seeing a lil hair on a man. obviously both genders get it, but smth about seeing it on a man just feels so attractive. IDEK WHAT IT IS. like it's genuinely stupid that we simp over... hair.

i'm assuming chris smells like nothing 😂 after a workout too. i've heard people who've been there say they have never smelled BO on someone, even after the gym. plus, chris talked ab how he only rately uses cologne either so i feel like he's doing the bare minimum... what's gonna happen when i run out of deodorant??? cant borrow his if he has literally none

for chris and felix, i feel like since theyve lived in aus, theyre probably more familiar with it. i don't think it'd be anything that freaks them out at all.... idk how much exposure the other members have had tho so i cant even touch on that 😭😂

[parkminijiminie]

https://www.tumblr.com/denimini/731243899182563328/today-perfectly-illustrated-why-i-try-not-to-jump?source=share&ref=faeinthecloud1

Glad someone thinks like me cause i be seeing everyone going"see? Vmin are all okay so the same applies to jkk" and i disagree with that cause atleast jkk had some online interaction vmin had almost nothing.

Being honest? the thought of th asking jm to join his fanmeet already crossed my mind. Idk bro i still feel they weren't on that good terms in the beginning. They might have resolved it. before jm going to tae's music show taehyung hardly ever mentioned jm like not even during jm's album release... but as soon as jm went to the music show he suddenly mentioned jm in his two lives in row (which honestly never happened before since 2023 when he started doing those 3min lives)..

i never believed that this and that interaction between members are planned (except some of the things they do on stage like doing a dance move nd something like those interactions ) and I'm also not going to start doing that now. I still believe all of their interactions are genuine.

But yeah i do believe there was something which might have got resolved and all.

Before jm's Album i thought hobi and tae would go to his mv shoot and his music shows (if jm does) or like any thing to support jm but the way taehyung disappointed me, I'm never calling them soulmates again ever and I'm also not gonna like their friendship like before. like now no matter which member does what for jm literally i don't feel grateful for anything I'm like "so what? Jm does so much more for them they can do atleast this simple thing". I know it's petty and all but the way all my hopes from them crushed bad I'm never hoping a single thing from any member (Maybe except hobi. I believe he'll be there for jm).

Thing is jimin does way big things for the members so anytime any member does something for him it feels small cause his gestures are always big so no matter what you're never beating him in being the supportive one.

A very bad thing to say but gonna stop being greatful for the bare minimum even tho i don't know what goes behind off cam cause if jm can do on and off cam and all the members are active on sns then yeah...

I think we shouldn't compare the other members' support with Jimin's because, let's be honest, very few people in life are at Jimin's level when it comes to emotional intelligence, support to loved ones and expression of love. Jimin simply is a very rare gem in this world.

All of the members have shown support towards Jimin during FACE era in their own way, and we also don't know what was going on behind the scenes. Sure, I think Tae could have done more, and comparatively, Jimin did do more for Layover, but if JM doesn't seem mad or insulted, we shouldn't be either.

I know that for years now, it seems like JM is there for everyone else, and not many people are there for him, but he always says his biggest support is ARMY and the other members. We should try to remember that all of them are different people and express their support in different ways. Not to mention that if we assume JM and Tae have some fall out at the beginning of the year, this explains the lack of a grander supporting gesture on behalf of Taehyung.

[oatmealspet]

Just ranting a little here but man…

This is the shit I see where I am like… don’t we have laws and shit where a person can get in serious trouble for giving out life threatening misinformation of their given profession? Like if a doctor prescribes two medications that are known to cause death or serious consequences when mixed would def lose their license and maybe jail time for malpractice (don’t quote me on that but as far as I know you likely will go to court and at the bare minimum lose your medical license)

But here we have AI spreading complete horseshit that at times is literally life threatening. GenAI (aka machine learning because it isn’t actually Artificial intelligence let’s be fucking real here) should never have been put out in the public in the ways we are seeing it before going through tons of testing and regulation. There should be laws made that will result in severe consequences for a product you created confidently sharing life threatening misinformation imo. But there is literally nothing in place to regulate it and it is being forced into almost every aspect of our lives.

Also I know the legal system in itself is fucked but at least it’s SOMETHING in comparison to shit going off the rails and ruining literally everything it touches. This shit would never have seen the light of day as we see genAI now if we didn’t live in this late stage capitalistic hellscape where all that really matters is if a thing makes company stocks go up or down or save money from having to pay people living wages to do a job.

Fucking dystopian

For those not in the know, this is one of the Amanita mushrooms referred to as a Destroying Angel. Never, ever, ever, ever forage with an app. Especially for mushrooms.

[bella-noel]

The toxic side of Escort Clubs in SecondLife. (RANT)

Do you all know how many places(adult clubs) I've worked at that are severely toxic? Not just the other workers, for the most part they are very nice. I mean THE OWNERS of these clubs. These adult clubs, specifically escort clubs, are so strict and when you bring concerns up to the owners, the owners will 100% gaslight and manipulate you into thinking they do these things for a good reason, which for the most part... They don't. They have these rules set in place to be strict, money grabbing assholes. Places I've worked at have 100% over worked their employees, and when the employees (myself included) expressed how overworked they felt, or tired they are after a long week and because of such, they are incapable to complete the agreed hours. Hours being 4 hours bare minimum, 7-8 hours for exclusive employees, 10+ for management, and THEN SOME. Now it seems more popular that the hours are being less, but likely because of these specific clubs either being exposed for their unacceptable hours, or they're actually owned by nice people. As someone who has a pretty busy RL, and uses SL as a hobby, I and many others, cannot sit down at a computer on SL all day every day. We have Real Life to tend to. Work, kids, family matters, etc. I understand a lot of club owners pour their hard earned money/Lindens into SL and their club and want the club(s) to be a success, but that DOES NOT excuse abusing their staff. Staff members have been humiliated, lied to, manipulated, verbally abused and even fired for little to nothing. Do you know what happens when you can't make your agreed hours? You risk being fired. Especially if you fail to message the owners " in time" due to simply forgetting from being so busy with RL. Even if you explain why, for example, I was in the hospital once for mental health issues and even giving the owners of the club I worked at at that time updates, and explaining I won't be online or at least at the club( In escort clubs you HAVE GOT to be flirty CONSTANTLY). Understandably, I was NOT in a flirty mood, and know what happened? I had the owner and her clique of managers up my ass and around the corner about when I "can be on stage" when I literally just got out of the hospital for a mental break down. The stress escort clubs put their employees under is simply not excusable.

ALSO, Most of these club owners have their own PRIVATE DISCORD where they get together and shit talk EVERY EMPLOYEE THEY DON'T LIKE, and with almost all of these club owners being in the same discord, and having that " hive mentality" they can easily BLACKLIST ANY EMPLOYEE THEY DISLIKE, and the worst of it, they blacklist employees before giving employees a chance to defend themselves. My friend got blacklisted by these very people, and she was out of work for a LONG TIME because of it all. She was miserably depressed, stressed and anxious about the thought of being completely blacklisted from almost all escort clubs on the grid. She loves the escort community on SL, and the fact she was too afraid to find another place to work and have fun at because of these narcissistic, gaslighting and manipulative abusers is sickening. Does LL know about the discord server, More than likely no, they don't. Otherwise every. Single. Club. Would get either shut down or have LL checking on them 24/7. Luckily my friend did find another place, but even that place was just as toxic, if not worse than a lot of the others, and she ended up quitting because the owners WOULD NOT LET UP on messaging her. She explained how stressed out she was, and how she couldn't keep up with it anymore, so she quit. For the love of fucking god, please STOP abusing other people on SL, as many others do actually use this specific community to pay their RL bills. Treating them like work horses drug through dog shit is not acceptable on any level, regardless of SL being a virtual world or not.

[violetsystems]

#personal

Been a little happier lately despite all the gloom, doom and fuckery. I can't say anything has been getting any better in my normal life. I fear that sooner or later everything is going to implode around me. I received an email back from a recruiter Friday night. I don't really get much contact from anything in the job market at all. I send about three or four resumes a week depending on the listings. The recruiter admitted that the hourly pay rate and role probably wasn't of interest for a person at this stage of my career. That's interesting poker call in the game of job hunting. Some of the jobs I've applied for customer service in certain fringe industries only offer barely above minimum wage. This opportunity would have been fixing computers. So it kind of told me how low in my field I shouldn't go salary wise. I've applied for three or four jobs in the Marijuana industry here in Illinois. Those are a little easier to present yourself professionally to ironically. But everything out there for me is a mixture of closed doors, reluctance to interact, and some grand cult like civic agenda I'm supposed to already know. For the record, finances are my own problem. This is what has stressed me out so much about being retired early. It isn't so much about the money. It's that everybody just assumes I don't have to work. The pension payout I got wasn't exactly enough to live on for the rest of my life. Not that anyone around Chicago appreciated my birthday even happened let alone admit I"m alive and still sell music. I keep thinking of myself as a test subject. That Generation Z and Millennials are going to be hit worse when their time comes. Imagine hitting your ten year mark in a career you went to college for at thirty three or something. Then being forcibly retired and having to plan out the next fifty or so years of your life. I've spent almost three years doing that. And all I ever get is recruiters asking me if I can refer them to someone more fit for the roles they offer. Why blog about it when I can just worship a woman I'm in love with at her feet? Because I'm kind of fearful the things we both love about this country are going into a financial tailspin. I just read that a population of gen z was polled as thinking women's rights have "gone too far." That shit scares me. That the children of generation x are complete fuck ups in so far that they've erased any culture we brought to the table. I'm completely invisible these days. I tend to use it to my advantage to stay alive and protect the things nobody really needs to know about.

I've always thought the thing about me that probably is the most attractive is that I try to deal with the present in a creative way. Even if dumb people don't understand it. I don't care. I know I'm in a completely losing situation. And I know people are just always trying to trap you into some petty shit to make you trip. My immediate neighbors fucking unplug the laundry when they see me get quarters so I lose them when I try to do my wash. They've stolen my 5g phone after being delivered by fed ex by asking me to unlock the laundry room while someone else lifts the package. They've set up makeshift shit traps on the fence so that I'll be covered in feces when I take out the trash. They work with my old job to intimidate me at the mailbox when my COBRA extension gets delivered. All of this is true. Nobody wants me to prove it. And has happened over a two or three year period. I've been trapped here writing about it. I've been applying for jobs overseas, in la and New York to get away from it. And I just sit here day after day watching nothing happen. I get that ultimate the joke is on other people. But some of the things I've had to do recently just fucking piss me off. I was expected to literally spend down my whole retirement and wait for another offer. I haven't done that yet. But the way the stock market has behaved the last two years, I've been left holding the bag on a lot of shit. I don't really understand how anyone in the future is supposed to retire with things behaving this fucked up. The value of Tesla as a company is ten times it's future revenue. That's like ten credit cards stacked on top of each other with Jerome Powell tap dancing at the top with a cane that twirls the interest rates around like a magic show. This recent bank failure is the result of nobody having enough liquid cash on hand to cover their ass. And yet everyone listens to whatever the fuck some twit whole stole an entire free speech platform to bankrupt it has to say.

And the FDIC bails out exactly 250k max for each "victim" at Silicon Valley Bank they protect. Around the same time they cut pandemic food benefits for poor people. I tried a number of things over these years to buffer myself. I didn't just lose my job yesterday. But even the two universal basic income programs I applied for in my country and city I was denied. I didn't qualify for unemployment because my pension payout was too much income. I basically got fucked. Now Monday morning an entire mess of startups will implode because there is no way to payroll with two hundred and fifty dollars thousand dollars unless you are paying minimum wage. Maybe that was intentional? That's one way to sabotage the employment of America. I still invest just the same. I was taught by America that this is the only way to stay alive. But my perception of money, capitalism and rich people is that of a gluttonous demon who plays tricks on the townsfolk like the idiots fucking with my laundry. If you've read this far, you understand that I don't think there's a solution in complaining. I'm not even on health insurance anymore. Not like COBRA payments weren't as much as my rent. I've been literally left to die by most of the people who say they knew so much about me from my past. I've been on LinkedIn the entire time professionally. If people wanted to find me for a real opportunity it's right there. I cut off my Facebook. I cut off my instagram. I block people on Tumblr that I think are too locally nosy about what I'm doing. I have to ignore entire friend groups now out of proactivity simply because they're not worth the liability of gossiping about my personal life. I know the way forward in the future is to leave it all behind. I just am a person who thinks deeply a lot. I am hurt that people don't want to fix things. I am hurt that when I get given a new shovel by my building maintenance the rest of the neighborhood treats this shit like a school yard bully and thinks I'm the teacher's pet. This isn't fucking high school. And yet with child labor and child marriage, maybe it's not far off. People out here have turned severely populist, encumbered by their own financial decisions that seem to be blowing up left and right. I think we're all a little more aware of the dangers of being blindsided by absolute failure here in this country. But it's getting beyond scary that you can communicate so well but the people around you will actively collude to fuck up your only line of communication to people who care about you. That's fucking terrorism. And these people out here are motivated by it for the dumbest fucking reasons. They aren't smart and they don't appreciate smart people or talent. Mainly because everyone would rather hoodwink, trick and grease people than work together. The more people get tricked? The more people get angry and the more society here in America starts to turn worse than it already is for me. I know my future is a lot brighter especially when I think about things that inspire me. And I am still inspired don't get me wrong. But I'm fucking dying out here in a literal ghetto prison of bullshit that I don't think anyone hasn't observed being fishy at least once. I just live every day like people are camping out waiting to surveil me on every corner. They literally take my garbage out of the trash and leave it on my porch facing back at me. Like we know what you spend your money on. I know what you did a couple summers ago too. And if the tips I sent in the government are any indication. Everybody gonna lose their fucking jobs sooner or later. I'm not hiring. <3 Tim

[aotopmha]

Bleh, the red flags from the person I live with just keep getting worse.

My only personal boundary with them I wish to have respected is for them to clean their shit, but even that is seemingly difficult.

Flush and when they shit, clean the toilet up after themselves.

Clean up the stove after using it.

Clean up the table after using it.

Even like, don't leave the lights on.

Stuff like that.

I ask for small things.

And I do consider patience because it's also human to forget. But at some point something no longer is by accident.

I'm comfortable with literally pretty much everything else. Just clean your fucking messes (particularly in shared spaces).

And I *know* they could easily do this because they are shown to be capable of cleaning up. I know. They clearly just "can't be bothered".

And I've said this calmly and I've yelled about this, but nothing has changed.

And it's this "convinient" thing where I will eventually have to use the toilet or use the stove or go to where the lights are left on and I am indirectly forced to clean up after them.

Or they just do a very sloppy job of cleaning after themselves. Like sloppily just rinsing the dishes without any dishwashing liquid (which is ok in some cases, like maybe if you put cookies or bread or smth simple on a plate), but holy shit.

Why is it so hard to respect this singular boundary I have set?

That's where the biggest red flags come from and if you know about toxic relationships, it often just excaberates from there and spreads to other stuff.

So I'll really have to think about creating myself a way out. It happened with the previous situation I was in and we are from the same circumstances (same family), so they simply carried the bad shit on from there.

The minor boundaries I have been able to set are like tough-won victories, too.

Why is it so hard for them to just have basic respect if you *ask*? I don't want to yell.

But whenever I call them out, they're like "if it's so basic, then you can do it". Or "Ew, I don't want to do it. Of course I haven't done it."

No, bitch, clean up after yourself.

So for now I've decided I'm just going to be doing the bare minimum to not feel gross myself. And especially make sure to let all of their messes stay where they are.

It's the only solution I see at this point.

That and if it spreads and gets much worse, really make sure to have a way out.

It's the really obvious early stages of a toxic roommate situation that *might* be able to be fixed, but will most likely just get much worse.

[larrietalk]

This may be unpopular opinion but I hate Pleasing so much, is literally Harry merch 2.0 based on the fact that like you said they haven't poster since December, if you look at the IG page of Rare for example, Selena Gomez brand, they are always active, posting stories of everyone using their products, liking and answering to posts, like it's constant, but I have feeling that for Pleasing they were just hoping for fans to buy it and that's it, they don't care about reaching a wider audience than that, which to me just makes it like.... not very genuine you know??

I think you may be onto something anon. I mean, for me it feels like it's an extension for Harry's merch, just another way to get people's money, where once again bare minimum was put in.

The whole launch felt really lazy, they just expected harries to give them their money, guilt-tripping them into it by the interview with Harry, where he said it's "giving back to the fans" (by having them buy products themselves lol). I don't get any excitement from Harry about it, I honestly expected him to at least make some "pleasing" pun on stage during tour but nothing like that happened. He wasn't even wearing his own nail polish except for that one time!! Considering the fact we were made to believe this project is Harry's "baby" born out of passion, I really cannot spot any enthusiasm from him. He didn't even join Molly and Harry L for that little party they did when it went live (that's why to me it's more their project that they're as always using Harry's name for).

Where is Harry testing his own products? Showing them? Presenting them to us, talking about them in more detail? This whole situation just exposed how hopeless and unexperienced hshq is at anything. PR packages were literally delivered to Jeff's friends mostly, who posted about it once and done. I was honestly shocked when Cristine from SimplyNailogical admitted she didn't get any package.... like, tell me you don't know the market without telling me.

It's truly offensive how they are treating Harry's fans as cash cows. Like you mentioned, the accounts have been dead since December, they are not putting any energy into promoting the brand outside of Harry's fandom. The company is talking about a "community" but what is that community actually when the company abandoned its customers as soon as they sold them what they wanted? If that... I think it's undeniable the crewnecks were a last-minute product and the only one fans were actually interested in. They want to have something that will explicitly connect them to Harry and they wouldn't achieve it by putting generic nail polish colours on.

I truly believe that Harry having a nail polish line could be something amazing. Painting his nails played such a big part in his journey of self-identity and to explore it by creating these products could have had so much potential. But the way it has been executed so far? I am just not feeling it.

[tommyspeakycap]

Painted Roses

jordan henderson x reader

word count - 2k I think

jordan takes you back to the place it all began as you expand your life together.

second part to Rose Garden

4 years to the date.

The country house with the long gravel road that lead up to the huge red brick cottage. The owner passed away over a year ago and their family, to Jordan’s utter shock, weren’t interested in maintaining the beautiful home as the wedding venue it had existed as in the past. The second he heard it was up for sale, he placed an offer and had the keys in the space of two weeks.

“Jordan where are we going?”

“You’ll see.” He promises, giving your hand a gentle squeeze where it sat on top of your knee. The blindfold is making you sweat more than you already were. “I can’t see anything.” You note pointedly with a roll of your eyes behind the blindfold. Jordan chuckles heartily with what you can imagine in your mind is his signature smile, all white teeth and crinkled eyes. “You’ll love it,” he says through that smile, “I promise.” His hand pats your knee again as a silence falls between you.

Gravel crunches beneath the wheels of his fancy black Mercedes as the smell of cut grass and fresh flowers enters your nose and makes you grin subconsciously in a way you barely even notice. Jordan catches sight of that out the corner of his eye and his heart grows with joy in his chest. The slow, careful turn of his car, paired with the sound of his hands sliding along the leather of the wheel alert you to his parking. He does so with ease and you hear the keys jangling as he shuts off the engine.

“Wait here,” he instructs, climbing out his side with the door thrown shut behind him. He’s round at your side of the car before you have a chance to think up a cheeky retort. He’s gentle as he always is when he helps you out of the car carefully, wrapping one arm around your waist so you don’t fall. Admittedly, it doesn’t work very well because the ground beneath is so incredibly uneven, so when he gets to that first smooth grey cement step, he opts to simply scoop you up into his arms with ease.

“Okay,” he begins, placing you down as you feel the smooth material covering your eyes loosening and slipping from your face. His hands replace it for only a moment as he presses a kiss to the side of your head from behind you. “Open.”

You do as told and tears spring in place of his hands to blur your vision.

It’s beautiful.

It was that Victorian style country home that once acted as a wedding venue, redecorated to a minimum. “Wanted it to look nice for you, but so that you can give it your touch. You know better than me.” He admits sheepishly with a pink tint to his cheeks. You beam at him tearily, hands clasped together in sheer joy. “God Jordan, you shouldn’t have!” You exclaim, tears bleeding over your lash line. You knew how expensive these types of homes were, never mind ones so big with such history to them. It hadn’t even made much of a dent for Jordan really. He had more money than either of you could ever have spent and he likes to remind you of that to ensure you know full and well his gentle spoiling of you is not a hardship for him. He actively loves to do it.

“Take it as an anniversary present.” He shrugs, trying to fight at the smile that was tugging his lips. The warmth of your hug and the tears seeping through his white shirt was all a welcome to him no matter how hot it was outside. He could not wait to come home to this house, be welcomed home by you and hopefully some littler mixtures of you and him with your eyes and smile. “Makes my present look a little rubbish now,” you jest, making him chuckle heartily.

The house needed a fair bit of work. New flooring, new carpets, your furniture from home would do just fine but you reckon Jordan will be all for new stuff for a new home. A few new coats of paint and nice clear out, but all in it was still absolutely gorgeous.

“There is one room I really wanted to show you though, if that’s okay?” He asks, keeping his eyes trained down on the floor. You furrow your brows, but nod your head. “I gotta grab something from the car first though?” You hum, detangling your hand from his, “And pee.”

He tilts his head like a curious puppy. “Again? You went right before we left?” He queries. You shrug your shoulders indifferently. “Since when do you question a woman’s toilet habits at that point in the month, Henderson?” You poke with a blush and a light giggle. He chuckles with you and holds up his hands in defeat, but the second your out of eye and earshot his shoulders fall and a sigh bursts out his lips. He wouldn’t let it show to you right now his disappointment. You hadn’t been trying long, but it was enough for him to be in the longing stage. Longing to see your swollen belly, longing to feel those tiny kicks against his hands and then hold his brand new baby for the first time, spend all those nights wide awake wishing for nothing but sleep while he cradled them through to the morning. You said it would happen when it happened, but it still ached with every negative test. Hearing you say you were on your period hurt a little more than he had anticipated, but he’s still heart set on showing what he had done with the short time he was able to keep this new home a secret.

You return with your handbag and take his hand. He is instinctive in those soft movements of his thumb over the back of your hand. It’s something he always does to sooth both you and him.

“So this is the master bedroom and I know it’s not quite good yet but I thought-“

“Jordan it’s beautiful,” you cut him off, your hand drifting out of his as you step in slowly. Being cautious of dust sheets and some tools, you walk into the massive room. You’d never been in a bedroom that big and it had blown you away. The huge bed, still with plastic attacked and tags on the mattress. The en-suite bathroom is marble worktops, one of those huge bathtubs and a walk in shower updated to a beautiful mixture of modernity and it’s antique homage. Tears are found again. The window gives a perfect view out the back of the house, rolling fields worth of garden space, loosely fenced in for acres into the distance. There’s a pond on the land a little to the left, not far at all that leads off towards the beginning of the hidden Rose Garden where you met Jordan 4 years ago today. All of that owned and shared by just you and the man you love. “Bloody hell, it’s so magnificent Jordan. I literally have no words.”

He beams shyly almost, “That’s how I feel about you.” He mumbles softly, almost too quiet for you to hear, like he didn’t want you to. “What’s through here?” You call behind you as he trails after you on anxious legs. You carry on through the very short pathway attached to the master bedroom that had some extra storage space. “Well uh..I haven’t finished that so maybe we should just an-“

“Oh my god.”

Jordan rubs nervously at the back of his throat as he enters into the connecting room behind you. His eyes take you in immediately, studying your features carefully. Your hands are clasped over your mouth with slow tears sliding down over your rosy cheeks. Your eyes are afire with love and happiness. “I know it’s weird but-“

“It’s perfect, Jordan.” You throw your arms around his neck, his arms finding you immediately as he buries his head into your shoulder.

It’s the only room with a new carpet yet. It’s soft beneath your shoes, a plush cream colour to match a white wall. The window on the back wall gives the same fantastic view you have in the master room. There’s a white crib pushed against the wall furthest from you with a mobile of twinkling toys dangling above and a baby changing table a little away from the top end of the crib stocked full of pampers and baby cream. In the right corner of the room just by the window is a white wooden rocking chair next to a little book shelf with baby books that had a couple plush teddies and a photo of you and Jordan 4 years ago sitting atop it. The other side corner is decked out with two beanbag seats, a soft baby mat and a bundle of all sorts of soft toys.

“Left that wall blank ‘cause I remember that day you told me you’d always wanted to paint it like the sky.” He recounts, pointing his finger at the wall that the crib was situated next to, making your head whip towards him. He had such a fantastic memory even for the little things you said, just like that. You barely even remember it, spoken under the stars as you’d fallen asleep on his shoulder. It gives you no doubt about having kids with him, the thought of him remembering your babies favourite little treats or ineffective toddler secrets makes your heart soar with pride and joy. “Look closer at that.” He turns you round so your facing that wall again, the one with the little cosy corner.

Painted on the wall intricately above it is that rose arbor your stood underneath when he first laid his eyes on you. Where he first had that dance with you, where he told you he wanted to see you again. Where you snuck into when it was late, dark and only lit by those same fairly lights so he could tell you he loved you for the first time all those years ago. The roses are painted in perfect colour, careful and precise in the way they hung around you for that first ever dance you shared together. It’s so beautiful and so lifelike you that get lost in it, reliving the moment your world came together. Every time you sit there, it’ll be like sitting under real thing when you can’t take the baby out there.

“Well this makes my present a little more fitting, then.” You sniffle, letting Jordan swipe the tears gently off your cheeks with the pads of his thumbs in a slow, loving motion. “What do you mean?” He asks, “I told you not to get me anything.” He crossed his arms over his chest as you rifle through your bag. “Okay okay, here. Open this.”

You hand over a small gift bag, one stuffed with tissue paper he has to tear through as you sit your bag down and wait, watching him with wide and watery eyes. He pulls out first the tiny little wad of fabric and places the gift bag on top of the white wooden dresser, carefully unravelling the rolled up clothes. “That’s bloody adorable.” He breathes out, trying to keep the tears he has inside his eyes to no avail. You wrap your arm around his back, rubbing his tight shoulders softly. “Look at the back.” You encourage, his eyes meet yours then look back to the tiny clothes.

HENDERSON

8

With a little picture taped carefully to the bottom that he peels off with shaky, tentative fingers. “No way!” He booms, jumping back from you in shock. He looks down at the picture, up at you, back down at the picture, then up at you again with tears slipping over his cheeks. “But you said-“

“It was a surprise!” You squeal back as he swoops forward and scoops you into his arms, spinning you around in glee. “So no food poising? And no period?” He giggled out like a schoolgirl in shock. You shake your head. “Morning sickness and just a diversion. We’re having a baby!”

“We’re having a baby!” He repeats, louder. His words bounce of the walls that can barely contain the happiness inside of them. Threatening to burst at the seams as it fills beyond belief. This room, though incomplete, is perfect. Because you are in it together. Here, together in each other’s arms sharing in joy just like you’ve both shared in pain, hurt, love, happiness, nerves and everything else along the way. Head on, together.

“And this,” Jordan holds up the little football strip with his name printed across the back, his england appointed number proudly underneath, “This is perfect. You,” he pauses, leaning forward to capture your lips in his, “Are perfect.” His hands wander down to your stomach, placed gently over where his pea sized baby currently exists, growing and feeding on the love he intends to drown them in just like he does to you, “Both of you…perfect.”

It is perfect, really. Your love is. Even when it isn’t, it is. When he’s gone too long and you can’t see him because of a pandemic; the effort is made, emotions are shared. He tells you he misses you and his ego is never too big for its space in your relationship. When the world is against him or when fate turns against you both, it’s in each other’s arms that you find solace even if space is needed first. There’s an understanding of the love you have. It’s special. The kind that only a lucky few seem to find these days, a one people can look at and spot from a mile away. It’s beautiful, it’s own space taking entity that makes you both target to significant teasing from friends and family alike. It’s perfect.

Even when you fight over what blue is better to represent the sky just because your pregnant and too hormonal to admit he’d found the right colour before you did. Even when he coats you in paint that ends in an all out paint war, thankful you both removed all the furniture before painting. Even when you sob as your body changes, with pregnant emotions skewing your mind and making you question whether he’ll ever be attracted to you again, he’ll remind you that he’s never been more attracted to you than now. Housing his child, taking the aches, the pains and the changes like a true champ while he can do nothing but rub your feet and buy you ridiculous quantities of Solero ice creams. He’ll remind you in more ways that one just how perfect you are to him. Love by it’s very nature is as messy as that paint fight. It’s up and down and all over the place all the time. But the kind of love that you and Jordan have is a special that doesn’t waver, doesn’t dull or dim or change through time.

If anything, each day he loves you more. Even if he was convinced it wasn’t possible. But then it just was. Seeing you red in the face with sweat dripping over your forehead and tears leaking from your squeezed shut eyes as your screams echo through the room. All he could do was coax and coach, trying to tell you how proud of you he was. Even when you screamed that you despised him, he laughed and told you to squeeze his hand a little harder. It hurt, but that was nothing compared to the pain that you were enduring from multiple areas of your body as that baby ripped through you to make her grand entrance to the world, kicking and screaming just like the fighter her mother was. He thought his heart might burst with the amount of love he has, surely that’s as good as it gets?

No. No, it gets better still.

Everyday it’s better. Better when he gets to watch that woman that he loves so much sing to his tiny baby daughter, rocking in that chair under the painted rose arbor as she feeds from you. The most beautiful, natural thing in the world and he is enthralled by it. Watching you giggle at her she coos up at you. Placing her down in the crib beneath the gentle jingling of the cloud themed mobile next to the pale, sky blue coloured wall, blossoms falling, trickling down through clouds from a painted blossom tree on the wall and rose petals in variations of pink and red along the bottom of the crib. Roses and rose petals just like the ones that surrounded you on the day you danced with each other in under the trees of the garden that summer night. Roses like the ones you stood under to profess your love for one another. Roses, like the ones he took a knee beside, beneath and with one in his hand to give to you as he asked for your hand. Roses like you would stand beneath with one pinned to the breast of his suit to say the vows that would tie you in law to one another and to give you his name. Roses like the ones painted on the far wall, still fresh when you shared the news of that baby girl’s existence. Roses that were such an important symbol of the love you shared, pure and beautiful, sometimes painful but always worth the fight. Those roses painted on that crib with space for just one word carved into the wood.

Rose.

Your own beautiful little Rose.