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johnsbleu · 1 year ago

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Hold My Hand: John Wick x Reader Chapter 155

warnings: dual pov, john wick chapter four spoilers (if you haven’t seen it and don’t want spoilers, do not read!) mentions of vomiting HMH masterlist

The lines at Disneyland haven’t been too bad. Thankfully the babies have been in great mood as well--considering the jet lag and warm weather, you’re fully surprised that Ronan has been so good. You’re sure she’s just happy to finally see you and John again. She slept in bed with the two of you last night since neither of you wanted to let her go, even just for the night. Being away from her was a lot harder than you expected, but at least you managed a couple days alone with John.

“What should we ride first?” you ask John, and he just chuckles and looks down at Ronan in his arms.

When he first mentioned Disneyland, it never crossed your mind that she wouldn’t be able to go on rides. You were too busy thinking about how excited you were to be going. But John assured you that Ronan will be able to go on plenty of things as long as the two of you hold her. It’ll mostly be tame little boat rides, but you don’t mind that. You planned on going on them anyway, you might as well bring her along with.

“Dude!” Jimmy taps John’s shoulder and points at a roller coaster, “We gotta go!”

“I wanna go!” Tess raises her hand and looks at you, “Goose?”

You smile, nodding your head, “Yeah, of course.”

John inhales deeply and nods, “Yeah, I’m up for it.”

“I wanna ride with you,” Tess says over her shoulder, and you nod. “The boys can ride together.”

The line is long but after waiting about 15 minutes you’re finally up to the front. You stand next to Tess and smile at John, who is just looking at you with not much expression on his face.

“You good?” you ask, and he nods his head, giving you a thumbs up. “You sure? You’re quiet.”

“I’m good, peach.” he smiles, then he leans down and kisses you. “Don’t get too scared.”

You gasp, “I would never!”

The gates open and people filter into their carts, and you sit in one in front of John and Jimmy. You get your belt on and try to look back to see John but since he’s sitting directly behind you, you can’t see him. You look over your shoulder more and see Jimmy talking to him and laughing. Hopefully John is okay.

As the ride takes off, the air is filled with laughter and screams--the screaming is mostly Jimmy at this point. You hold hands with Tess and throw your hands up in the air as you go through the twists and turns, and you squeeze her hand tighter when you see the first big dipping coming up. You both scream with laughter and look at one another.

Leaning over, you yell over the wind blowing in your face, “Is John okay? Can you see him?”

Tess turns a little and nods her head, “Yeah, he’s smiling.”

The smile on your face grows bigger before you scream loudly and drop down the next dip, your stomach doing a little flip. Your hair is a mess on your head by the time the coaster is going back to the station, and you laugh when you see Tess’ blonde curls all in her face.

“We gotta go again,” Jimmy says before he’s even out of his seat.

“Yes, yes, yes!” Tess grabs his arm and hugs it, “I’m riding with you this time!”

Before you can tell them that you’re good, they’re running off to get in line again. John reaches down and helps you out, making sure you’ve found your footing, then he wraps his arm around your shoulder.

“Your hair is a mess.”

“I know, I should have worn it up. I have some hair ties in my bag.” you say, then you look at him, immediately stopping and widening your eyes when you see his face is pale as a ghost, “Are you okay?”

John stops and turns to you, “Yeah, why?”

“John, your face…” you put your hand over your mouth and laugh, “Baby, you’re so pale.”

“I’m okay. I just need some water.”

You reach up and cup his cheek before pressing your palm to his forehead, “Sweetheart, you look sick.”

“I’m okay,” he whispers, and you look into his eyes again.

“Babe,” you begin to worry more as you look at him, “You look like you’re going to throw up.”

John reaches out for the railing and swallows, “I’m okay.”

“You have motion sickness, Jonathan.” your mom says, and you look over your shoulder at her. “Honey, you need to sit down.”

“Think he’s okay?” Jimmy jokes, and you playfully slap his arm.

You walk over to the stroller and grab your bottle of water, then you gesture for John to sit on the bench. He takes the water and finishes what’s left in it, and Dan hands him another bottle. You pour a little water onto a napkin and gently dab it against John’s cheek and forehead.

“I don’t want everyone to make a big fuss,” he says quietly to you, and you nod your head.

“Hey, if you guys want to go ahead, that’s fine. We’re just gonna hang out here.” you wave your hand, “Go on. We’ll catch up.”

John rests his elbows on his knees and puts his head down, “Holy shit, I’m gonna throw up.”

“Bathroom is right there,” you rub his back and smile softly when he looks at you, and he gets up and hurries off.

Tess looks back and gives you a thumbs up, asking if you’re okay. You give her a thumbs up and laugh when she holds up her phone. You’ll text her when John gets back.

Loud groups of children decked out in Disney attire and their tired parents move past as you wait for John on the bench, and you finally see him coming back out. He lets out a small laugh when you perk up.

“I’m fine,” he laughs, sitting down next to you.

“I didn’t realize roller coasters made you sick.”

John laughs, “You and me both. First time on one.”

“What?” you gasp loudly, causing a few people to look over but you don’t care. “John! You’ve never been on a roller coaster before?”

“When would I have ever been on a roller coaster?” he asks, and you both laugh.

You nod, “Yeah, that makes sense. I guess there wasn’t much time for that back then, huh? Well, I won’t make you go on any other rides.”

“I still want to go on rides with Ro,” he says, patting your thigh, “But they are nothing like that one.”

A small laugh escapes your lips as you look up at it, “Yeah, it was a pretty intense one for your first roller coaster. You’re lucky mom isn’t over here. If she knew that it was your first ride, she’d take your picture standing next to the sign like you’re five.”

“Yeah, definitely don’t want that.”

“I can’t believe you just went on a ride and didn’t even tell me that it was your first.”

John shrugs, “Didn’t want to be left out, or seem like I was holding everyone back or something.”

“We would never think that, babe,” you reach over and press your hand to his cheek, “You feel better?”

“I do,” he nods, and you lean over to kiss his cheek, “Yeah, might want to rinse my mouth out first. Thanks for staying with me.”

“Of course.” you smile at him, and he rolls his eyes when you start to laugh, “I’m sorry! I just didn’t expect you to be sick after the first ride. I didn’t know! Had I know, I wouldn’t have gone on it.”

John squeezes your thigh, “It’s fine. Should we go find everyone? Maybe take Ro on a ride.”

“Yeah, I think she’ll like the Peter Pan ride.” you stand up and reach for his hands to pull him up from the bench, “I think you’ll be okay on that one.”

“You don’t get sick?”

You scoff, “Hell no! My mom used to get us wristbands for this amusement park every summer. Tess and I would spend the whole day there. Mom would pack us a bag with snacks for the day, drop us off, and pick us up at 8. We rode everything. But I do know something you can ride that won’t make you sick.”

“Oh, yeah? What’s that?” John looks down at you. You start to smirk as you point to yourself, and he laughs, “You?”

“Yup!”

John chuckles, shaking his head, “Nah, I think I have something you can ride.”

“Well, as long as you don’t throw up anymore today, I’m so down. Not really into vomit-breath.”

“I do have toothpaste, you know.” he jokes, and you laugh as you lean up to kiss him.

John was not too pleased to see how charming Flynn Rider was, but you thought it was pretty funny. Ronan absolutely loved him and thought he was very funny as well. She laughed and kicked her legs, and she even leaned over for him to take her. He and Rapunzel fawned over her, which made you tear up since Tangled is becoming her new favorite obsession lately. When you turn it on, she just sits quietly and watches it.

The plan is definitely for her to meet more princesses, but right now you’re taking her on her very first ride. You might have teared up a little. She’s sitting in John’s lap looking around at all of the pretty lights, and she’s squealing happily every so often.

“God, she’s getting so big.” you frown before leaning over to kiss her, “Stop growing up! You need to stay my little baby girl forever.”

John leans forward to see her face, “I hate it. I want her to stay little forever.”

“She’s getting so much personality though,” you say, smiling at the two of them, “She looks so much like you, babe.”

“You say that a lot, but I don’t think you realize how alike you two are,” he says, and you look at him, “She is so much like you too. She makes all these goofy faces just like you. She’s starting to look so much more like you too--that dimple is killing me.”

Ronan’s cheeks are squished when John hugs her and kisses her, then he points at the little Tinkerbell on the wall. She waves her hands in the air and dances along to the song, then she looks over at you like she’s waiting for you to dance. You rock a little in your seat and smile wide at her. When John joins in, she giggles loudly, showing off her two little teeth that have come in.

God, how does she already have teeth?

You frown a little thinking about how fast this is all going by. Soon she’ll be getting her license and going to prom. You absolutely hate it. Instead of focusing on that and how fast time flies, you scoot over and rest your cheek on John’s shoulder, laughing quietly every time Ronan squeals happily.

Even though you already saw a lot of the famous landmarks in Paris, you have no problem going to see them again. Your mom is dead-set on going to a few places in particular, so that’s what is on the agenda for today. The kids are in a stroller that is being pushed by her on the sidewalk. It probably wasn’t a great idea to put them in a stroller since the sidewalks are narrow but it’s better than carrying them or chasing Finn down when he runs off.

John is holding tight to your hand as the two of you walk behind everyone else, but he’s been…different today. Just really quiet. You noticed it last night actually, after dinner. Surely his stomach can’t hurt from Disneyland two days ago. It’s something else. He barely touched on his time in Paris--he really didn’t say anything other than after Helen, he stopped here. You don’t know exactly what happened in Paris but you can tell it was something big. You’d never straight up ask him since you don’t want to push him to talk about something he’s not ready to talk about.

“Soccer cure.” Jimmy says, and you furrow your brow.

“What?”

Jimmy laughs, “Soccer cure.”

“What is he saying?” you ask as you look at John, “He’s your best friend.”

John laughs and gestures to Tess, “He’s her husband.”

Tess rolls her eyes and laughs, “I have no clue. Sometimes I tune him out.”

“He means Sacré-Coeur,” John finally says, and you look up at him, “It’s the Basilica--”

You look at your mom with your brow furrowed, “Mom, isn’t that the picture that Grandma had in her living room?”

Your mom stops walking and turns to you, “Yes, and she was in love with it. She talked about how beautiful it was every time I went over there near the end before she…anyway, yes, and I want to go see it.”

“We will, honey.” Dan says, touching her arm.

“Turn right at the end of the street,” John says, and you look at him when his voice is so monotone. “It’ll lead you there.”

You lace your fingers with his and smile softly at him, “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” he says, avoiding looking at you.

“Okay,” you squeeze his hand before you let go of it and speed up a little to walk with Tess.

He doesn’t want to talk right now and that’s fine. You know when John needs his space. You won’t push him on it. You look over your shoulder at him as he shoves his hands in his pockets and stares ahead, a little crease in between his brows like he’s worried or overthinking. Jimmy ends up falling back to walk with John, and you link arms with Tess as you all continue down the street and turn where John tells you to.

“Oh, shit!” Jimmy starts to laugh, and you all look back at him as he nudges John’s arm, “You wanna take the stairs?”

You look back and see the staircase, then you look at John, “What about the stairs?”

“Oh, you don’t know?” Jimmy says, and you furrow your brow in confusion, “John--”

John clears his throat and glances at your parents before looking at Jimmy, who is quick to pick up that John doesn’t want this information--whatever it is--to be broadcast in front of them.

“222 stairs.” your mom says, shaking her head, “Could you imagine going up those? How are we going to get up them with the stroller?”

You’re not an idiot and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out something happened on these stairs. John’s world and his past life is…incredibly insane.

You walk over to John and hold his gaze, “So, the stairs…”

“Yeah,” he takes a deep breath and finally lets out a small laugh, “The stairs.”

You cock up your brow and gesture with your hands, “Just a wild guess here, but this isn’t your first time seeing them.”

“Definitely not.”

“Hmm,” you nod your head and look up at the stairs.

John points, “You can go down a little and there’s a hill that you can go up instead. You’ll end up in the same place at the top.”

“Let’s do that.” your mom says, and Jimmy jogs over to get the stroller so he can push the kiddos.

“So,” you look at John and smile, “Hill or the stairs?”

John looks up at the stairs like they’re something he really needs to conquer, “You with me?”

“Always,” you put your hand out and smile when he laces his fingers with yours. You look over at the group and smile, “Meet you at the top.”

You and John head up the first set of steps in silence. They aren’t too bad--yet. That quickly changes after the second set.

“Hold on,” you hold your side and wince, “Side cramp.”

John leans against the light post and watches you, smiling when you look at him with one eye squeezed shut, “You good?”

“No!” you laugh and stand up straight, “How does someone do this?”

“Try doing it about three times in a row.”

You let out a loud laugh and give John an incredulous look, “No fucking thanks!”

John looks up the rest of the stairs and shakes his head, “Definitely didn’t think I’d see these stairs again.”

“Was Paris your last stop before home?” you ask, and John nods without looking at you. “So, it all ended here?”

“Yeah.” he says, but he doesn’t give you anything else.

You reach out and squeeze his hand, smiling softly when he looks at you, “We don’t have to talk about it.”

He looks back at the stairs, then he reaches for your hand as the two of you start your way up the next set of steps. He stops for a few moments to make sure you’re okay, then you head up the next set.

“Damn, my glutes are on fire!” you laugh breathlessly, looking over at John in hopes he’ll get a kick out of it, but he doesn’t even crack a smile.

He’s having a battle of his own in his head right now, so you just go silent and make it up the rest of the stairs. You really want to complain about how your feet hurt and your legs too, but you don’t. You just stay quiet and hold his hand.

“Hey!” Jimmy waves, then he bends over and puts his hands on his knees, “Holy shit, that hill is no joke. Stairs must be worse.”

“They certainly weren’t fun,” you say, letting go of John’s hand so you can push Ronan’s wispy brown hair out of her face as she sleeps in the stroller.

Tess leans against Jimmy and closes her eyes, “I’m passing out as soon as we get back to the hotel.”

“We have more places to see! Come on!” your mom walks past you with so much pep in her step that you wonder where the hell she gets all her energy.

Everyone follows behind your mom like she’s the teacher leading you all on a field trip. You lean down to check on Ronan and help carry the stroller up a few steps before you finally stand in front of the beautiful basilica. Your mom is tearing up and taking pictures of it, and Tess is too. She brought her fancy camera so she’s able to get some really good shots.

“Mom, can you get one of the three of us?” Tess asks as she hands her camera to your mom, but she puts her hands up and shakes her head. Tess looks at you and laughs, “She’s too scared to hold my camera. Would you mind?”

You take the camera and snap a few shots of Jimmy, Tess, and Finn, then you get some of shots of just Jimmy and Tess. Ronan fusses a little when she sees that Finn isn’t in the stroller now, so your mom gets her out.

“Want some pictures with your family?” Tess asks, taking the camera back.

“Yes! Of course.” you look over your shoulder and furrow your brow, spinning around in a circle in search of John, “John? John? Jonathan?”

Where the hell did he go? You wander around and call out his name a few more times until you finally spot him sitting on the steps. Looking over your shoulder, you put your hand up to let everyone know it’s okay and that you’ll be back. You head down the steps and sit next John, bumping his shoulder with yours.

“Hi.”

“Hey,” he glances at you and looks out at the skyline, and you follow his gaze. “It’s beautiful here.”

You wrap your arms around your knees and nod, “It is.”

After a few moments of silence, John takes a deep breath, “Don’t you want to know all this stuff about me? Aren’t you wondering what happened on the stairs?”

“Are you kidding me? Of course I want to know!”

“You just never ask,” he finally looks at you and shrugs. “And you always say we don’t need to talk about it.”

You turn to him and rest your hand on his arm, “Because I’m respecting your boundaries and past. I would never make you talk about this stuff, Jonathan. This is your life. These are big moments from your past. Big, tough, heartbreaking moments. I would never push you to talk about that stuff if you don’t want to. I want you to tell me everything. I want to know what you were doing May 9th, 2017! I want to know it all. Everything. Every detail. Even the ones you deem unimportant.

John nods, “I guess I started assuming that you just didn’t want to know. Most people would just ask--Jimmy does. I don’t tell you a lot because it’s hard. Hard for me to explain. Hard for you to hear. It’s just a hard thing overall.”

“I know,” you look down as he plays with your fingers, “But I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, there’s nothing you can say that will scare me away. I’m in way too deep with you.”

“I’m not worried about scaring you,” he looks into your eyes and sighs, “I’m worried I’ll break your heart.”

Your heart immediately sinks, “Well, now you’ve scared me.”

John chuckles as he turns to face you more, “Not like that, peach.”

“You can’t play with a girl’s emotions like that, babe.” you laugh and jokingly wipe your brow, “Scared me.”

“I don’t know what I was doing May 9th, 2017,” he says, and you start to laugh, “But if you’d like to hear about Paris, I’ll tell you.”

You shake your head, “It’s not up to me. It’s up to you. It’s if you want to tell me. Of course I want to know. I want to know everything. But it’s not up to me. It’s you. If you want to tell me, then I’ll gladly sit and listen to you. You know me, I love to listen to you. And if you decide that this is something you want to keep for just you, for just John Wick, then I will respect that. You know that.”

“How are you so understanding?” he asks in disbelief.

You smile softly, “Because I really fucking love you.”

“Dada!” Ronan squeals loudly, and you both look back to see her holding Tess’ hands as she walks down the steps--Tess is really just holding her and helping.

You look back at John and smile, “Someone misses her favorite guy.”

“Hey, bug,” John takes Ronan and sets her in his lap, then he kisses her cheek. He looks over at you and tucks your hair behind your ear before he leans over to kiss you. “Last time I was here, I thought this was the end. I thought that would be the last sunrise I’d ever see. My only thought was…”

You smile when John looks at you, then you shrug a little, “It’s okay.”

“She was my last thought,” he whispers like it’s a secret, then he looks at you again, “I’m sorry I just admitted that to you.”

You let out a small laugh, “It’s okay. It was like five years ago. I think it’s okay to admit you were thinking about another woman--your wife at the time. Trust me, John, I get it.”

“I just…” he looks out at the skyline again before he hugs Ronan closer, “I thought it was the end.”

“But it was just the beginning, really, wasn’t it?”

John laughs when you scrunch your face up in disgust over how cheesy that was, “Yeah. I laid on these steps and accepted that it was the end for me, but I had no idea that my life was going to change after.”

“Ah!” Ronan holds up a Cheerio in front of John and tries to feed it to him. She babbles and giggles when he eats it out of her hand.

“Oh, it was soggy.” he spits it into his hand and wipes on the cement.

You scoot closer to him and rest your head on his shoulder, “If you want to tell me about it sometime, I’m all ears.”

“Maybe later?” he asks, and you smile as you nod. “I think right now we need to do a little photoshoot with my gorgeous girls. I want to make some new memories here--some good memories.”

Ronan kicks her legs and babbles loudly, pointing at a hot air balloon in the sky, then she looks at John like she’s waiting for him to explain what it is. He chuckles softly and kisses her cheek, squishing her face a little when he hugs her tight. You prop your elbow on your knee and rest your head in your hand as you look at him, holding tight and loving on his baby girl.

When you got back to the hotel, John was still a little quiet, but he wasn’t at all like he was this morning. He didn’t tell you anything but he started to talk with the family more and even walked with your mom alone for a bit. No doubt he was gushing about Ronan or something from the smile on her face and how he kept glancing over at the two of you since she was sitting in your lap. He’s still processing what happened to him, you’re sure. It must be a lot to wrap your head around, and being here with your family on top of it all must be jarring.

You’re all back at the hotel now and sitting on the balcony, looking out at the Eiffel Tower and eating ice cream. Ronan has it all over her face and clothing, so she’ll definitely be needing a bath, which will be perfect since she’s going to be a little hyped up from the sugar. She loves to play in the bath and she loves when her daddy makes silly voices and makes her toys talk to her. He has a way of making everything magical, not only for her but for you as well.

“Hey…” John whispers in your ear from behind you, and you look over your shoulder, “Watcha doin?”

You start to laugh, “Just sitting here. What about you?”

“Just admiring you from afar,” he says, and you roll your eyes before tilting your head back to kiss him.

“You should admire me up close, Wick!” you tease, and he leans over the couch and wraps his arms around you, kissing your neck and shoulder.

John exhales and buries his face in the crook of your neck so his voice is muffled, “I have plans for us tomorrow, so don’t plan anything with anyone else.”

“Okay,” you turn your head to the side to look at him, “Are they sexy plans?”

“No, but we can have those tonight.”

You start to laugh, “Well, from the past few days we’ve been here, we have established that our bed does not make a sound even when you’re…ripping me in half, so…”

“Yeah, the bed is quiet,” he holds your gaze and cocks up his brow, “What’s not so quiet is you.”

“Well,” you put your hands up as you shrug, “That’s not my fault. You’re just too good, so I think you’re to blame for that, really.”

John pecks your cheek as he laughs, “I’ll take the blame.”

“Of course you will,” you cup his face and kiss him again, “I love you so much.”

“I love you so much too,” he whispers, then he looks over when Ronan pulls herself up on your pants. “Hi, bug. Looks like you had some ice cream.”

Ronan is grinning wide and shaking her head fast from side to side, the sugar clearly hitting her. She screams loudly and reaches one hand up for you, so you pick her up and put her in your lap.

It’s kind of amazing how babies can go from super hyper to zonked out. Ronan leans against your chest and twitches a few times, then she’s out like a light, sleeping soundly with your shirt clutched in her grip. You pry her fingers open and stand up, then you head inside and lay her down on the couch to change her out of her clothes and into her pajamas that John has grabbed. John also brings a warm washcloth and wipes away the chocolate on her face.

Since there’s a few bedrooms upstairs, that’s where her and Finn are sleeping. You head upstairs with John right behind you, of course, and you put Ronan into the pack ‘n play. She moves around until she’s comfortable, then she smacks her lips and lets out a small sigh.

“Ah, to be a baby.” John says, and you look over at him, “They fall asleep so fast.”

“I distinctively remember you passing the fuck out last night. You didn’t wake up once.”

John laughs, “You wear me out.”

“Oh, do I?”

“Yes, you do.” he pulls you closer and kisses you tenderly as you back out of the room.

Your mom clears her throat and smiles when you both look at her, “Dad and I are heading to bed. We’ll get the babies in the morning.”

“Thanks, mom.” you walk over and hug her tight, “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Me too, sweetheart.” she says, then she squeezes John’s hand, “You two have fun.”

You widen your eyes and stare at her as the blood drains from your body, “What? Why would we be having fun tonight?”

Your mom playfully squints her eyes, then she laughs, “I meant tomorrow.”

“Oh,” you blink a few times and feel your cheeks burning red with embarrassment, “Right, yeah, of course.”

“Goodnight,” she says, smiling at you before she slips into her room.

You look at John and smile when he starts to laugh, “Extra quiet tonight.”

John puts his hands up and backs away, “I can’t make any promises. You know me, I’m just ‘too good.’”

In true John Wick fashion, he has kept you completely in the dark about where you’re going today. All you knew was that it was take a little while to get there, that you were to wear something cute and breezy (Tess’ words) which meant you were to wear a summer dress and some sensible shoes to walk in. Thankfully you packed lots of shoes and dresses.

How John is able to keep his mouth shut about surprises always blows your mind. Whenever you have something planned for him, you almost blurt it out because you’re so excited. He’s just so good at keeping secrets.

The two of you boarded the train, found your seats, and sat down. The train took off a few minutes later but you have no idea where you’re headed. You don’t even know what direction you’re going but it’s nice to look out the window and see everything going by.

John reaches into your purse and pulls out the water bottle, then he offers it to you. You take a quick sip and hand it back to him before you cross your legs and links arms with him. He leans over and presses a soft kiss to your forehead.

“Soooo…” you look at him and smile.

John shakes his head, “Not telling.”

“You never tell me where we’re going!”

“That’s what most people call a surprise, peach. It’s a surprise.” he says, and you playfully roll your eyes at him. “You’re going to love it.”

You look at him and purse your lips, “Have I mentioned wanting to go there before?”

“No.”

“Then how do you know I’m going to love it?” you tease, and John’s face falls as he begins to worry. You widen your eyes and turn to him, “Oh my god, John! No, babe, I’m going to love it! I am!”

John sighs, “Well, now I’m worried.”

“No!” you put your hands over your face and sink into your seat, “Fuck, I shouldn’t have said that. John, babe, you know I’m gonna love it. You know me better than anyone.”

“I know,” he says, and you look at him, “But I really hope you do like it. I’m trying really hard to impress you.”

“What? Why? Well, wait…wow, that was a lot of w’s.” you say as you both laugh, “John, this whole trip has been amazing. You don’t need to impress me! If I’m honest, you impress me when you’re still here after we get into a fight or when I’m being…well, difficult. You don’t need to do extravagant things to impress me, Jonathan.”

John nods his head and takes a deep breath, “You’ve never been to Paris before, so we’re doing everything I can think of. This won’t be our only trip here, but I want this one to be memorable.”

“It’s my first trip here. It’s my first trip here with you. It’s going to be memorable no matter what.” you look out the window as the trains glides on the tracks, “I’ve never been on a train.”

“We’ve ridden the subway before.”

You scoff and wave him off, “That’s different. The subway doesn’t count.”

“Do you remember when we rode the subway that one time?”

You laugh as you nod and look at him, “That drunk guy in front of just vomited all over the floor and passed out.”

“Had to have four officers come in and carry him out.” he says, then he reaches for your hand, “Let’s hope we don’t have a Train to Busan incident.”

“Don’t say that!” you gasp, widening your eyes, “That’s just my luck. And it’s the perfect plot. Two Americans stuck in a foreign country when the zombie apocalypse starts.”

John cocks up his brow, “I’m not American.”

“You’re…whatever.” you laugh, then you look at him. “Would you protect me if zombies came?”

“Nah, I’d throw you down so I could get away.” he says, and you gasp loudly, playfully hitting his arm as he laughs. “Well, what kind of question was that? Also why does everything go to the zombie apocalypse with you?”

You tilt your head back against the seat and chuckle, “I don’t know.”

“It’s funny.” he says, and you look at him, “You’re the funniest person I know, you know that?”

“Even funnier than Jimmy?”

John chuckles softly, “Even funnier than Jimmy.”

“Wow,” you grin wide, “Wait ‘til he gets a load of that.”

“Oh, you can’t tell him.” he widens his eyes, shaking his head, “It’ll be bad for you, not for me. Actually I take that back. It’ll be bad for all of us. The jokes won’t stop.”

You link your arm with his again, “His jokes aren’t too bad.”

“Nah,” he presses his cheek to the top of your head, “But you’re still funnier.”

You scoff, “Duh.”

After getting off the train, it was a just a short walk to get to our final destination. It was a nice walk though. The weather is perfect here today. It’s 80 and sunny, but there’s a pretty decent breeze to keep us cool. Y/N has her hair down and is wearing a dress that blows in the breeze, and I have to say: I am married to the most beautiful woman ever.

She has no clue where we are as of right now, and I’m honestly pretty proud of myself for being able to pull this whole thing off. She’s become quite sneaky so I’m surprised she hasn’t found out where we’re going. I know she eavesdrops sometimes when I talk with her mom even though she’ll deny it. I can’t lie, I do the same thing too.

“Oooh,” Y/N coos when she sees the gardens in front of us overflowing with white and pink flowers, “This is so pretty. Is this someone’s house?”

“It was…” I nod, and she perks up and looks at me. I start to laugh, “It wasn’t mine. I’ve never lived here.”

Y/N shrugs, “Well, I dunno. I feel like you’ve been around the world quite a few times. I don’t know where you’ve lived.”

“New York, mostly.” I nod, and she leans down to smell a peony. “New York is my home. Has been for a long time.”

“You’ve made it my home too.” she says, reaching for my hand, “I’d never feel at home there if it weren’t for you.”

I let out a small laugh, “You would have made it your home eventually.”

“Nope.” she shakes her head, turning her nose up and smiling, “It was all because of you.”

“Well, thank you. I’ll take the compliment.” I pull her closer to me to kiss her, then I open the gate and gesture for her to go ahead. She furrows her brow and looks at the house before looking at me. I chuckle, nodding my head, “This is your surprise.”

She stares at me for a moment before the color drains from her face, “You bought a house?”

I start to laugh, “No. I would definitely talk about that with you first.”

“Oh, thank god.” She puts her hand over her heart and closes her eyes, “I don’t want more houses.”

“I don’t either,” I look up at the house covered in vines and flowers, “This is Monet’s Garden.”

Y/N looks at the house and stands on her tiptoes to get a better look around, then she looks at me, “Oh, shit.”

“Yeah,” I laugh, nodding and smiling, “Should we go explore? We got the place to ourselves for a bit.”

A loud squeal comes out of her mouth as she rushes over to hug me, then she grabs my hand and yanks me along with her, rushing through the beds of purple tulips and roses.

I had to get in contact with someone to set this whole thing up, but it went well. After we explored the gardens for a bit and took tons of pictures--Thank you, Tess, for letting me borrow your camera--we sat down on a blanket and had lunch. We just talked about the trip so far and how we dread going home now that our family is here. If they weren’t, surely we’d be beyond excited to head home.

“I just still can’t believe that you love me.”

She looks at me like it’s the most outrageous thing I’ve ever said, which is probably is since I haven’t said much for a few minutes now and it was completely out of no where.

Y/N shakes her head and takes my hand, “John, babe, you’re my best friend. Loving you is so easy.”

“I’ve just…I’ve done some shit, Y/N.” I shake my head as I look down, then I look at her, her gaze still fixed on me and still so full of love.

“What if…” she turns to face me, reaching for both my hands, “It was me instead? What if it was me who had this…unbelievable life? What if it was me who had done all of those things that you’ve done? What if it were me who had been through hell and back? Would you still love me?”

I furrow my brow, “Yeah, but--”

“No,” she presses her finger to my lips, “You would love me. Simple as that. No buts. Just like I love you, no buts.”

I smile when she starts to laugh, “No butts?”

“No buts.” she rolls her eyes playfully and laughs, “No if, ands, or buts about it. I love you. There is no question or hesitation, John. The way that you love me is the way that I love you. I know that you feel like you’re not deserving of my love, but trust me, you’re the only one deserving of it. And if it wasn’t me here--I hate to think about it--but if it wasn’t me and it was someone else, you would deserve their love too. But…there’s never going to be someone else because I’ll beat the shit out of them for trying to take my man!”

I laugh as I bring her face to mine so I can kiss her, “I would beat the shit out of someone for trying to take you too.”

“Oh, good.” she smiles at me before kissing me, “Very protective over you.”

“You have no idea how protective I am of you.” I whisper, looking into her eyes, “I’d burn the world down for you.”

She smiles softly, “I know you would, but I’d never ask that of you. I just want you to have a nice life, and I really hope I’m doing my best at giving you that.”

“You absolutely are. Don’t ever question that. I have the best life I could have ever imagined,” I say, and she shrugs bashfully when I look at her, “And that’s because of you. When I got out, I never thought that my life would be this great. I thought I’d just go home and live in peace as a free man. I thought I’d just have Bleu. I didn’t even think I’d have Jimmy as my friend when I got out. I didn’t have anyone.”

Y/N smiles, “Now look at you!”

“Yeah!” I laugh, nodding my head before I look down. I reach out to take a bite of a sandwich, then I look up at her as she looks around the garden. She plays with her food for a moment before she sets it down. “What’s going on in that head of yours, peach?”

“Just thinking,” she says in the sweetest voice, then she shrugs, “You’ve never told me much about Paris.”

I set my sandwich down and sigh as I look at her, “Because it’s probably the hardest thing I’ll ever have to tell you.”

Y/N scoots closer to me and holds my hand as she looks at me with soft eyes and a soft smile, “I’m ready whenever you are.”

“Well…” I wipe my mouth and hands off on a napkin before looking at her, “I think I’m ready.”

“Wait!” she scoots down and rolls over to lay on her stomach, then she props her head up on her hands and smiles at me, “I’m ready!”

“And then Winston and The King--”

“Wait, what’s his name?” you ask, and John shrugs one shoulder. Though it’s certainly not the place nor time, you start to laugh, “You don’t know his name?”

John shakes his head, “No.”

“You just call him The King?”

“Yeah, everyone does.”

You start to laugh again, “His name is probably something really random, like Wilbur or Dennis.”

John chuckles a little, “Or Kenneth.”

“Yeah!” you laugh harder before you stop and smile at John, “Keep going, babe.”

“Anyway, he…found me, took me back to a safe place, and I got stitched up, probably slept for days on end. Bleu was next to me the whole time, never left my side.”

You look into his eyes when he finally meets your gaze, “You never told me any of this until now. Why?”

“It’s really fucking hard, Y/N. I was…on the brink of not coming back and I knew…I knew the moment I spoke those words that I just did, this is the reaction I would get,” he gestures to you as you start to cry, “The last thing I ever want is to make you upset. Hearing about your husband’s near death experience isn’t fun and it’s certainly not a fun topic of conversation.”

You wipe the tears off your face, “No, but it allows me to know you even more. Have you thinking about it the whole time we’ve been here?”

John shrugs, “Not really at first, to be honest. I didn’t really start to think about it until we passed a few places that reminded me. You have a good way of taking up most of the thoughts in my brain.”

“It’s a pleasure, Mr. Wick.” you smile, and he leans over to kiss your cheek.

“I guess being here again just conjured up those memories and I wanted to talk about it.” he looks at you and nods, “I wanted to talk to you about it all.”

“I taught you well,” you throw him a wink, which elicits a laugh from him.

Hearing about John’s past is always hard. No one wants to hear about someone they love being hunted down and hurt…literally repeatedly. But John is strong. He’s a fighter. He gets back up. He gets knocked down 200 times, he’ll get up 201 times. He will always fight, you know that. You’re so beyond proud of him and who he is, who he was, and who he is becoming. He’s the best man you’ve ever met; every version of him is the best.

Even though you know what a fighter he is, it’s still hard to imagine the things he told you today. Being thrown over railings and falling several feet to the hard ground, hanged, stabbed, shot at, hit by cars. It’s genuinely a miracle that he’s even still alive. But again, John isn’t one to give up.

“I can’t believe you have all of your teeth.” you say, and John furrows his brow before he laughs loudly.

“What?”

You look at him and laugh, “I don’t know. I’m just thinking. With the amount of shit you’ve been through, you’d think you’d have missing teeth or something.”

“Of course I have my teeth!” he chuckles, shaking his head, then he points to his tooth, “But this one is fake.”

You gasp loudly and put your hands over your mouth, “What? Jonathan! We’ve been together this whole time and I never knew your tooth was fake!”

John clearly finds this assuming since he’s laughing, “What? Did you want me to lead with that when we met? Hi, I think you’re beautiful and would love to get to know you. By the way, my tooth is fake.”

You clean closer and look at him, “It doesn’t look fake.”

“That’s the point.” he lets out a small and leans over to kiss your cheek.

“You are so gorgeous,” you whisper to him, and he smiles as he pulls you closer and lays you down on the blanket, “Oh, you’re gonna make out with me in Monet’s Garden?”

John chuckles softly against your lips, “First time for everything.”

Two strong and warm arms wrap around your waist, and you immediately melt back against John’s chest as a smile spreads on your face. He presses a few kisses to your shoulder, then he kisses your cheek and looks out at the Parisian skyline for one last time.

“What are you thinking?”

“I’m gonna miss this place,” you whisper softly, then you shrug, “But I am excited to get home. I miss Bleu. I miss the shop. I miss our bed.”

John nods, “Bleu is going to be so excited to see us.”

“I hate being away from him, but I know he’s being taken care of.”

Bleu went with Grace and Tony before you left. Grace was beyond thrilled to have him while you were gone. She’s going to be so sad when you’re home and she has to hand him back over though.

“I’m excited to get back to life though.” you inhale deeply and wrap John’s arms around you tighter, “As much as I love going on trips and being in different countries, I have to admit that I really do love our life back in New York and I miss it. I miss the simplicity of it. The…normality and routine.”

“Yeah, I understand that.” he moves your hair off your shoulder and smiles when you look at him, “Plus Ro will be needing her monthly check-up soon.”

You laugh, scrunching your face up a little, “Isn’t it so lame that I’m looking forward to all of that? I look forward to going home and doing chores and running errands. How dumb is that?”

“It’s not dumb,” he shakes his head and turns you around so your back is against the railing and you’re facing him. “It means you really like our life, and I do too. I can’t wait to get home and do all of that stuff.”

“I really love doing life with you, John.” you tear up as he smiles. “I think that’s why I’m so excited to get home; I get to do all that mundane shit with you.”

John touches your chin before leaning down to kiss you, “I really love doing life with you too.”

You wrap your arms around John’s neck and deepen the kiss, holding tight to him and never letting go.

tagslist: @sakurachan-9 @ruby-octo @angie-20000 @beingnerdyissupercool @star017 @perrysglasses @volcasaurus

#john wick x you #john wick x reader #john wick x y/n #john wick imagine #fic: hold my hand #i'm sad that they're leaving paris lmao #paris was orginially just one chapter but after seeing jw4 i knew i wanted him to share some of the stuff that happened to him #obviously i left some things out and embellished others but ya know ya gotta do what u gotta do #anyway i hope you all enjoy! i love you sooooo much byeeeeee

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