#and i think if just ‘liking and scrolling on’ keeps on like it has then online creativity as a whole will suffer

[tuliptic]

Start Line: Growing and Transforming

We've been running this far, non-stop, all day yeah   Never getting tired, we keep up this runner's high   You know graduation   Even though it's over, it's not the end   Put on some new shoes   Yeah we're ready at the start line

Things have been difficult for a lot of us, and sometimes, we just want a flicker of hope, or some words of encouragement that can push us to go further. Just… Something, a message, to tell us that the pain we��re going through right now is temporary, and things will be better. 

Close your eyes, meditate on this topic and tell yourself that you’re on a brand new start line, and ask for the messages you’re called to hear. Breathe in and out, make sure your mind and heart is calm. Then, open your eyes to see which pile talks to you the most/draws you in the most. Once you’ve found your pile, scroll down to the respective parts to see what are the messages for you.

Pile 1 - Pile 2

Pile 3 - Pile 4

Disclaimer: This is solely for my entertainment purposes. Take only whatever you feel like it. If it doesn’t resonate, it’s okay to just drop it. Also, I do not consent to my work or images being used by third parties on this platform or other websites as well.

Decks used: Crossing Star Tarot Deck (Major Arcana), Linestrider Tarot Deck, Sweet Dreams Oracle Deck, Starcodes Astro Oracle Deck, self-made lyrics deck.

Pile 1

One card to represent you: The Magician rx

The first thought that popped into my mind is that… You’ve probably been told (many times) that you’re a good manifestor, but you have not seen it working out for you, or at least, not at the moment. You’ll need to try an error (or maybe errors) to find what works for you, and what works best for you. It can be rather disheartening to fail, but look for the opportunities in life’s challenges and learn the lessons. You work better by letting your physical body learn rather than your brain to absorb the knowledge. You probably have also noticed your tendency to self-sabotage, but you don’t intend to do anything about it. Perhaps, not at the moment, as you’re not in a right place yet to fix yourself, but you need to remember it and to work on it.

1. Why have things happened?  - Four of Cups

You have been too focused on what you’re feeling and not looking at the outer world, on whatever that’s happening around you or to you. This definitely has something to do with The Magician rx above, where you’re sabotaging yourself and not focusing on the present. It’s giving me very… Neptune rx in Pisces vibes, so some of you who picked this pile may have Pisces placements. It’s like living in the world yet not living at the same time, where you’re floating and drifting, not seeing where you’re at or where you’re going. Life has been throwing you opportunities to learn the lessons, but you’re not learning it. Not to mention that you’re not organising what it is that you’re feeling inside and to do something about it. With all of that happening, some of you may feel you’re at a standstill or some will have their head and heart wrapped up in different bags and not know how to unify them.

2. How to stop your train of thoughts and start again from where you’re standing? - Knight of Pentacles rx

You have to stop dilly-dallying, and pick up the pace if you want to move away from where you’re standing. Sure, ADHD paralysis is difficult to deal with when you’re frozen (I’m referring to myself as well, in case y’all think I’m attacking anyone), but it is already something if you can move yourself away from the way of harm first. My first thought here is to train your body to be able to move on autopilot from time to time, which will help you in countless ways. Sure, you’re still sluggish and unenthusiastic, but let your body move first, exercise, and let your brain rest during those times.  Another way you can attempt to stop those thoughts is to get help. Not only external help from professionals, but more of building healthy interpersonal relationships. True friends will want to help you to be better, and will be willing to spend some time to accompany you to carry out activities that are beneficial for both of you.

3. What to look forward to? - The Magician rx

You’ll be able to tap into your energy. I do think that this is a time for you to work together with your manifestation talent/skill, and for you to decide which direction you want to head. You need to remember that the direction you’re going is not something fixed, so no worries in making a decision. You can change that anytime, or go on a different journey if it doesn’t fit you. The more important thing is to have a welcoming heart, to dream and invite limitless magic into your life, allow your guides to show in unexpected ways. Do not be afraid, go step by step and find out what works for you.  Of course, you can look forward to this if you take action. If you’re not doing anything, do not hope or wish for things to fall directly into your laps.

4. What have you left behind and grown from? - The Tower

You’ve gone through a huge upheaval, you’ve gone through a lot of chaos and traumas in the past. Now, you’re going through another fundamental shift. It may not be as tremendous and messy as it was in the past, but this shift is something more of an energy thing, where you need to learn to be more selective with where and who you want to spend your energy on. This energy encompasses mental, spiritual and physical energy, and you have to remember that you’re also an exhaustible being, where you can’t focus on others forever. Look back, and you’ll see how far you’ve gone from that unhappy place. Remind yourself that you’re able to do it again. Once you’ve grown from it, you’ll also be more free to explore your skills and abilities. You’ve always had a tendency to have a foot in almost everything, and with you now knowing how to distribute your energy and time? You definitely can. You can try focusing on what’s in front of you instead of attempting to explore far, you might find treasures closer to you instead.

5. When will things start getting better? When will you get your justice? - The Chariot

The Chariot talks about action and goal. I don’t think I need to say much on this, as it’s pretty self explanatory. However, remember to hold onto your reins as you move towards wherever it is you’re heading. You need to have a clear goal and a destination, else you’ll run out of energy/fuel, and you may end up in different places. You’ll need a clear and visible goal, and the stages need to be well defined and measurable. You get strength from seeing actual results, and that’s when you gain the confidence to continue moving forward. You will get justice when you’re moving forward. The justice here is internal, as it is more towards countering the self-sabotaging part of you. It’s difficult, but once you wipe the tears and bite on the happiness you’re seeing, you’ll know your purpose in life, and you’ll taste that justice.

6. Advice for you - Five of Pentacles, Nine of Cups rx, Ace of Cups rx

Some of you may be facing financial difficulties or even health problems. It’s best if you work on them now as you prepare for what it is to come. It can be quite disheartening at times when you question and wonder why hard times fall on you more often than others. This may also result in an unhealthy stream of emotions. Emotions itself isn’t a bad thing, the problem would be how you’re managing it. Don’t hold them in and stack them up. Find a safe place to release them, understand those emotions and nurture yourself back. Place your trust in the Universe, believe that whatever that is happening to you right now is part of a greater plan. Twist your thoughts a little, see it as a blessing where you’re finding problems when it’s still salvageable (it’s still painful but hey, we can work on it eventually). Tune into your heart, listen to your wishes, and look at what you have achieved throughout the years. Your wishes of the past are now fulfilled, and you’ve finally built the life you’ve wanted when you were much younger. Well, it may exist in different forms, or you’ve gotten it not according to how you originally planned, but it’s there. Know that you can change your wishes into reality because you have the power. Believe in yourself. Let’s say if you want to recover faster, you can manifest quicker healing. You can. Just make sure that you do not fall into the habit of feeling dejected and dissatisfied quickly. Hold on to a heart of gratitude. It will open up doors for you.

Overall energy: The Tower rx, Six of Pentacles

There’s a mix of energy here. You’re unsatisfied that things have gone out of your control, yet there’s also a sense of relief that you are not responsible over those things going out of control. Despite the difficult times, you still hold generosity in your heart, where you offer what you have (materials, energy, time) to those who need them. In turn, you’ll also be blessed with what you need. Accept help given to you with an open heart and a grateful attitude. The greater plan the Universe has in mind for you may have something to do with people and connection, so that may be an aspect you want to pay attention to. Things or memories from the past can be resurfacing, so stop hiding or running away, and face them. 

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Pile 2

One card to represent you: Death

First thing I’m picking up here is that you’re going through a lot of changes right now, and the next thing is that… You’re being watched over. There's a lot, and I mean A WHOLE LOT of things that are going on right now, and they’re overflowing your plate. I could sense a certain level of panic and dread over everything, but there’s also some form of apathy where you’re tired of everything and anything happening all at once. There’s too much that’s going on to the point you have no idea where or what to focus on, so you’re probably at a standstill where you’re looking at the overflowing plate, doing nothing. I’d say that this is a “freeze” response because you’re at a point where you can’t process anything at the moment, but once your brain starts spinning again, you’ll get things done. You have people watching over you, or your guides are protecting you at this time. Imagine you’re standing still in the middle of the path but no one is hitting you. It’s like that. Your guides are making sure that you have enough time to process whatever that’s happening to you and around you. Once you start moving, they’ll follow behind you and help you out when you ask them, especially when you’re facing any confrontation.

1. Why have things happened? - The Hermit rx

You’ve withdrawn yourself from certain aspects of life (friendship, or work, or a certain class, or even a hobby) with attempts of healing yourself and to give yourself more time. Sure, you’ve got the time, but those times were not spent on yourself, those free times were not helping you, but the other people in your life. In another sense, you were still busy, and you did not get the rest you needed.  There’s a certain level of emptiness that I’m feeling here, and that you’re torn as well, not sure if you want to fill that emptiness or you want to remain it as so because of the comfort of being used to it. Do you trust yourself, with the steps and decisions you’ve been making? BET ON ME by ITZY was playing as I typed this out, and I do feel that there’s a message in this song for you.

2. How to stop your train of thoughts and start again from where you’re standing? - King of Pentacles rx

King of Pentacles is generally the last card of the deck, and what I'm seeing here is that you still have a lot more to go, that things are not final yet, and you have the ability (King) to change things to your favour. I understand that you're currently in a flight or freeze mindset, but you need to work your brain to trick it a little so that it moves, and you can reprogram it a little so that you can move away from the spot you froze. Be kind to yourself and let go of those thoughts that are haunting you, step away from those self-criticism, know that you deserve gentleness. The King is abundant in finances, life experience, but I'd also like to add connections into this list. To be a King, you must have known to pull strings around to make things work, to make sure you win the trust of the people. To achieve that, you need good and skillful people who are willing to listen to your plans and to make them work. Those connections are what will help you throughout your difficult times. Sure, people may have turned you down in the past, but know that they may not be in any position to extend any help back then, and that things may be different now. They will be more capable now. Some… May have a really painful tongue, not filtering their words. But still, they will help, and you'll be surprised with what they're able to offer.

3. What to look forward to? - Ten of Cups rx

This… probably is not gonna sound ideal to a lot of people but… You can look forward to having a fresh start. It's like the cups you have are now poured clean, and you are forced to redo things again, to fill them up again but this time, you get to choose what you fill them up with. Previously, when you were growing up, people around you filled those cups for you, helping you make decisions (that you may not like or agree with), or even tainting them (putting droplets of other things in it), and those form you to who you are today. But, by pouring them clean (a very, very painful process), you are now able to pour and fill your cups with whatever you want and whatever you need. You'll be able to work with your dreams and spirit's energy to reach your highest good as you fiercely protect your cups, your energy, your life. Your life is now yours to write.

4. What have you left behind and grown from? - Three of Wands

It feels like you have left behind a lot of original plans that you have made for yourself in the past as you build yourself anew. There's a lot of internal cleansing done, and you've decided to start everything from scratch again. You'll be able to build things again and fully immerse yourself in a new future you'll create. You've learnt to grow from pain and to see the smaller happiness in life, learning to accept that growth is inevitable. Visualisation is also vital here, where you will need to immerse yourself in whatever you have now as you visualise where you will be standing in the future. You decide your own path, and you have to walk it.

5. When will things start getting better? When will you get your justice? - Ten of Swords rx

Things will start getting better once you pull out all the swords from your back. There's a lot of… Purging. Yeah, purging is a more suitable word to use for your situation. Your situation is like the shelf full of ceramic plates that will crash the moment you open that door. But you still need to open it, you'll need to let all of those fall, and you can clean it, to make space for new items to put in. You now can choose metal plates, or plastic plates to put in, whatever it is that you want. But first, you need to clean the space, only then you'll invite limitless magic into your life and allow your spirit guides to show up in unexpected ways. They are there for you, through a breeze, through a flyer, through a sudden noise to stop you from crossing the road. Once you've made space, that's when you'll get your justice by living your best self.

6. Advice for you - King of Wands rx, Strength rx, Six of Swords rx

There's another King card here, telling me that whatever you're going through right now is not an easy one. It probably will be there a little longer and it is what will help you to build up your upcoming new life, to start everything again. You will need to be at peace with yourself and be kind to yourself first.  Turn your strength and focus inwards, nurture yourself, and do not shy from cutting people out of your life if they drain you too much, even if they are family. You need to understand that you are your own universe, and you are your own priority. If you do not prioritise yourself, no one will. Others do not have that responsibility over you, so let yourself breathe. For now, heal your wounds, use it as your badge of honour, and live your life as how you see fit. Remember, it is you who define who you are, not your past.

Overall energy: Strength, Nine of Wands

There's a lot of strength in you, actually, just that you have not known how to work with it right now, not sure how to turn that strength for yourself. You have been resilient in everything you do, no matter how battered up you are, so let those tension fall from you. Sit down in peace and quiet as you receive the messages from your guides, letting them guide you through this time of difficulty. Trust your feelings, they know you better than yourself. Listen to your emotions, they understand your needs better. Act on them when needed, you will know when the timing is right.

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Pile 3

One Two cards to represent you: The Tower rx, The Chariot rx

I'm… Not exactly that surprised to see two cards falling out. The Tree in this image symbolises the Tree of Life as I was doing the reading, so some of you who picked this pile may be told that you guys are knowledgeable or do possess some extensive knowledge in very specific fields. And with this knowledge comes expectations, which can be seen with two cards falling out for you. With these two cards, what I'm immediately picking on is that… You are in a phase of life that can be quite challenging right now, where things that are beyond your control are happening almost all at once, and you're losing your balance as you continue to run on the uneven paths. You're growing exhausted as you're being chased with expectations and by your own sense of duty. So, please take a break when you need it.

1. Why have things happened? - Three of Pentacles rx

There have been conflicts going on with you and your social circles, may it be disagreements between classmates/colleagues, or getting shunned by them for not going along with them. There’s a slight hint of one being an outcast here. Correlating to the cards representing you, how you became an outcast is also due to what you're going through life right now, requiring you to put a hold onto a lot of other things, including assignments and/or socialisation, etc. Your intuition has been your assistant throughout these times of perils, and it's giving me that you do know how and why you're in a situation that's making you stagnant. Not sure if you are capable of breaking that ice or you're resting at the moment before you take the first step out. Either way, unlike most people, you know where you’re standing at right now, and you do know how to make changes towards a new you if needed.

2. How to stop your train of thoughts and start again from where you’re standing? - Three of Swords

This is probably a weird way to put it, but you need to use your pain as a tool to help you get back to the present. You may be able to perceive pain differently, like… It's to prove that you're still living, that you're still alive, and you still can make changes to the situation you're in. You need to remind yourself that you're beloved, and that the Universe loves you and is throwing hints at you through very… questionable ways. Trust your inner wisdom and intuition, let them guide you to where you're supposed to be. Oddly, I'd say that you have been through something similar before, but you kinda panicked when your previous methods no longer work for this situation. This is the time where you need to find a new method that will help you develop your senses, and for you to be at peace with yourself again. Coping mechanisms, but let it help you with more than just coping.

3. What to look forward to?- The Chariot rx

I'd say that things will slow down, not because the problems are resolved, but because the tires have worn out. Your nightmare and problems have also run out of strength to go after you, which gives you a quick chance to take a small break before you retreat to somewhere safer, where you build a new coping mechanism and possibly plans for the upcoming problems. I'd also say that this is a good time for you to make new connections that will be helpful in the long run. Don't worry about burdening others, as I believe that there will be a chance for you to help them back. Friendships and connections are mutual, where both parties benefit from them.  Not sure if you’re the type who’d welcome new changes. Nevertheless, challenges will be coming your way for you to level up. I’d say that these challenges are coming in a way where you’re capable of managing it. From there, you’ll experience a new sort of rebirth, and you’ll find a new identity that works with you better. 

4. What have you left behind and grown from? - King of Pentacles

I have no idea why but I'm sensing some… Familial relationships and expected duties? Most of you may be working with establishing healthy boundaries with your family, making sure that the roles are properly and fairly distributed. It also feels like… Financial responsibilities aren't yours alone, and the entire family will need to figure out how to contribute and prepare for any emergencies.  You’re now the King, where you have a comfortable relationship with your finances, knowing that it’s yours, your property, and you have every right to access it and to use it without guilt. There may be a chance where your family or extended relatives have guilt-tripped you to sacrifice or contribute to their needs, and you’re unapologetically free from those now. You now learn to trust your intuition more and let your inner wisdom guide you through your way subconsciously. It’s now a part of your life where you don’t really need to sit and listen, as you’re driving on auto-pilot by your subconsciousness.

5. When will things start getting better? When will you get your justice? - The Sun rx

I'd say that things will start getting better at unexpected times, or even at times when you can't see hope. The Sun is unable to shine on all people, it's unable to pierce through thick walls, but it doesn't mean it's not there. The Sun here feels mellow, like it's keeping its warmth and heat in check to not burn the other living beings that it's feeding.  There’s also another message here that is assuring you that good things take time, and that you’ll need to be kind to yourself so that those blessings arrive and you’re ready to receive them wholeheartedly. The entire thing is a journey, and the roads can be bumpy. But still, what matters is the journey and you’re able to reach your final goal in a good condition, so take your time as you tread through those paths. Once you start walking and taking action, luck will fall by your side and accompany you through this journey.

6. Advice for you - Nine of Pentacles rx, Knight of Wands, Knight of Cups

You may be using your time unwisely by focusing on things that do not exactly benefit you. I’m not saying that you can’t, but you need to set your priorities straight and know what is the final goal of your actions. You may start a project that requires you to invest and purchase tools, when you’re rushing a deadline that’s gonna affect your assignment and final’s results. By doing this, you’re in a way, not planning well. Sure, you get your emotional fulfilment, but it also comes at the price of you failing your semester (touchwood). Passion projects can be fun, but you need to plan your time well, plan your resources well, plan your enthusiasm as well. The planning happens behind closed doors. Others will see how well you portray yourself and be drawn to you, but you need to remember the need for continuous effort for you to achieve the best results. The public, or people around you may gather around you because of how well you have a grip over yourself, and once things have calmed down, feel free to let yourself loose a little. People will show up around you, and it’s totally fine for you to enjoy the attention and affection. You just need to remember how much you’ve put in to build yourself, and not let others take you for granted, or to take advantage of your skills or what you have to offer.

Overall energy: Strength, Four of Wands rx

Strength and beauty comes in all forms possible, even through pain and tears. This is something that you’ll be learning to accept through this difficult time. Most of us may understand the beauty and appeal of pain, but not many can accept it. Whatever we’re going through right now makes us learn and accept it, to come to terms with it. Of course, changes come along with it and we will need to learn to adapt to it, to build a “New You” as you face the upcoming challenges. Know that whatever you’re doing right now is a pre-requirement for you to achieve your dreams. You are your own world, and you can change the world as you grace the strong wind standing your way.

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Pile 4

One card to represent you: The Devil

What I’m feeling here is that you tend to have a certain level of control over some things in your life. The control here isn’t exactly pleasant, where it may be imbalanced and there can be some arguments going on. Temptations are heard as well. You know you’re stuck in some loop where you can’t escape, and you have no intention of escaping. The picture for this pile is somehow giving me Sex and The City vibes, where the neon lights (benefits, financial resources, interests) have been the focus of your sight, and this allows you to have a different perspective, or for you to see things differently from your peers.

1. Why have things happened? - Strength rx

You have lost strength, internal strength mainly. You were not surrounded by those who supported you, and your energy was depleted bit by bit as you tried to fit in. You have put yourself in a position where you depend on the actions and feelings of others, and you may have given up on your instinctive responses, not having the self-discipline and control you need. The Lion is your passion, and it’s now your enemy, threatening to destroy whatever stability and name you’ve built. Imagine a woman trying to tame the agitated lion and the two ended up in a fight, while the spectators (wrong group of friends) by the side just watched. 

2. How to stop your train of thoughts and start again from where you’re standing? - Knight of Swords

You’ll need to start taking care of yourself, listen to yourself. You’re a person who prides your intelligence, and you tend to be in your own head a lot. However, you’ve listened to the noises out there that have affected you in a negative way. Not to say that you’re supposed to go back into the state of being in your own headspace, but for you to pay attention to yourself more, to listen to the voices of your heart instead of the external noises. You’ve always been head>heart, and now you’ll need to go head<heart. You may not like how different this… new routine is, but you will also know that it has to be done, as you’ve been seeing messages of this “new path” around. Balancing out the heart voices and head nagging is important, and this is how you shall start.  You also need to remember you yourself, are the source of everything essentially you. You build yourself; you create yourself. You are not built on the words or acceptance of others. You need to remind yourself that you are already doing well, and the expectations of others are not yours to bear.

3. What to look forward to? - Ace of Wands

New beginnings come with changes. Once you’ve chosen a different voice to listen to, you’ll be able to regain energy, bit by bit, to attempt more changes in your life. Opportunities will surely come your way when you accept the positive energy around you, and it’s up to you to seize them and make them work. It’s a time for you to follow your instincts and have courage. Take action when you need them.  That aside, it’s suggested that you return to your roots as you venture through this bright explosion of good energy. Remember the importance of grounding yourself and go back to the basics from time to time. It’s not only to cleanse your heart, but also serves as a reminder of where you came from, and how you need to be in touch with your past and nature.

4. What have you left behind and grown from? - Six of Wands

What I’m seeing here is that you’ve put down the yearn and drive for fame and luxuries, and have redefined success for yourself. You’ve awakened from the past and start to feel more energised, learning to start your days in a better mood as you count your victories. More people are recognizing your achievements as they approach you with interest.  As you compare what you had and what you’re having now (or will be having in the future), you’ll be able to evaluate better and have a clearer idea of the direction you want to take next. You are warned of self-doubt and lack of confidence. You have to believe in your abilities and worth so people can trust you, so that you can trust and confide in yourself.

5. When will things start getting better? When will you get your justice? - Eight of Wands

Eight of Wands is a card that talks about movements. Once you’re moving, once you’re taking action, that’s when you’ll see things turning out different for you. You’ll start to receive things or messages that you’ve been waiting for, and it’s time for you to stop stalling. If you’re interested in someone, you will have to walk towards them and work for it. You’ll be able to attract a loving, happy, fulfilling relationship into your life as you’re no longer the old you. Remember, birds of the same kind flock together, and the same goes with people too. You attract people of your level. You want that person who’s active and charming? Be proactive in approaching them.  Your justice will come in unexpected forms, but most of it would be releasing of past hurt. There will be times where you’ll want to hug yourself to sleep as you were reminded of how things have been difficult. This is one of the healing phases where you slowly let things go. The lighter you are, the better you become. This is also because the karma of those who’ve wronged you will not be tied to you anymore.

6. Advice for you - The Star, King of Cups rx, Nine of Cups

Rebuild yourself. This probably sounds difficult and too… idealised? But this is what you need to do. The Star is there to tell you that there’s a silver lining behind every grey cloud, that you’re not broken beyond repair, and that you’re able to work yourself up to another peak. This card is an extremely gentle card, so take that message and be gentle to yourself as well. You’ll need to practise self-compassion, listen to your inner feelings, cultivate yourself and let yourself grow into your very best self. Love others by first loving yourself, don’t forget about the promises you’ve made to yourself.  Make new and healthy connections as you flourish. If you wish for them, they’ll come into your life. Learn to be content with the gifts you’re having everyday, learn to hold gratitude with what the Earth is offering you. With the amount of Cups here, try getting close to bodies of water (beach, sea, waterfall, etc). Water may be a healing element for you. Alternatively, try doing activities that are related to creativity (crafting, writing, drawing, or something that’s symbolistic) as they can be an outlet of your heart’s wants, which you can understand better from the results of your craft. Remember to stay hydrated too.

Overall energy: Justice, Eight of Swords

Justice is really your theme right now. You’ve been choosing to run away from the obvious, but it’s high time that you wake up, pull down the blinds that have been covering your eyes and to see the truth for who he is. The first action needed for every awakening is to open your eyes and acknowledge whatever that has been going wrong. Only then you’re able to take action towards a better situation. You’ll need to open up your heart and invite new changes in, welcome new beginnings in. The theme of Justice can be difficult and painful, but it’s necessary for you as you transform bit by bit, cutting down the vines that have been tying you down, severing unhealthy ties that have been binding you down (refer to The Devil). Get back your own autonomy, treat yourself right, let justice be served on who deserves them.

[twirlyleafs]

“Priorities”

Carlos Sainz x Reader

Tw: nothing I think, some angst.

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It was late afternoon by the time Carlos had wrapped up his meetings, finally parking the car outside your shared apartment. Despite his tiredness he couldn’t help the small smile on his face, excited to finally come home and looking forward to unwind together with you. His mind was filled with thoughts of food, maybe you should cook together? Or order in from that little Italian place you loved so much? He thought of what to watch on tv, knowing at the same time that it didn’t matter much to him. Hed probably fall asleep with his head in your lap within a few minutes of you sinking down in the couch together. As he unlocked the door he call out a soft hello, expecting you to pop out from somewhere like you usually did and come greet him with a kiss. When you didn’t, the silence of the apartment made him almost uneasy. Carlos called out for you again, frowning when he didn’t get an answer. Confused he pulled his phone from his pocket, thinking he might’ve missed a message from you, but the only one was your short conversation from this morning. He hadn’t heard anything since he told you he was in a meeting and when he thought about it that was kind of wierd. Normally he’d come out of a meeting to at least one text from you, and probably a cute picture of something you’d seen or something you’d cooked. You liked to keep him updated and he loved getting updates. He frowned, pressing the button to call you. The frown only deepened when he was forced to listen to the singlas until it eventually went to voicemail. Maybe you were at the gym? Or in the store, or out with friends? You usually picked up when he called though. Sighing Carlos moved further into the apartment, sinking down in the couch with a deep breath. Lazily scrolling through his phone it took him a few minutes until his eyes stopped on a story posted by one of your friends. The scene was cozy, candle-lit table and a tightly squeezed group of people posing for the picture. Right in the center he saw you, eyes crinkling with laughter as you carefully cut up the cake placed infront of you. His heart skipped a beat and as his eyes moved to read the caption it sank all the way down into his stomach.

Happy birthday to the sweetest, kindest and most beautiful soul. Love you!

Your birthday. It’s your birthday today and he’d completely forgotten it. You’d reminded him, several times the past few weeks, and every time he’d promise that he would make it the best day ever. That you and him would spend it together, all day with full focus on you and not a single thought on anything else. He’d promised himself to leave work behind, even just for one day, to really be able to make it special for you and now here he stood imagining your face when you realized he hadn’t kept any of it. Carlos fingers flew over his screen, quickly trying to call you again. When you didn’t answer, he hadn’t expected you to, he typed out a message.

C: Carino I’m so sorry

C: Im sorry, please call me? Or let me come see you?

C: I can pick you up after your dinner and we can do something? Anything you like

C: I love you, I’m sorry

You didn’t respond at first and Carlos began pacing the apartment, the stress and guilt eating him up from inside. He was just about to call one of your friends when your message finally came.

Y: Im out with friends Carlos, it’s fine.

Y: Love you too

He stared at it, a lump in his throat. He hated that you said it was fine, he knows it’s not. He knows what he has done is not fine and he knows you are not feeling fine either. He can see you, surrounded by your friends but also being reminded that he completely fucked you over today. The words its fine didn’t feel right, he could practically feel the disappointment laced beneath them.

C: Please amor, let me make it up to you.

No reply. Carlos kept his phone by his side the whole evening, waiting and constantly checking the screen hoping to find you giving him another chance but the silence dragged on. As the hours ticked by he realized you weren’t letting him off the hook that easily, not that he thought you should, but the panic inside him grew. Today should’ve been about you, about showing you he was capable of putting work aside, proving that despite everything always being about racing you were his priority. He hated that you gave him so much of your time and energy and he just- forgot. When he finally heard the sound of a key in the door he scrambled to his feet and moved out into the hallway, just in time to see you step inside. Your eyes met for the briefest moment before you turned away, expression calm but guarded.

”Hey.” He started, voice soft and overflowing with regret. You offered a quiet greeting, still not meeting his gaze, and he continued. ”Im so so sorry. I forgot, and I know that such a dickmove and I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I have no excuse, I just-”

”It’s fine Carlos.” You nodded, hanging up your coat with slow and steady movements. Your tone of voice betrayed you and Carlos could heard the hurt you tried to hide. ”I know you’re busy. Its fine. I didn’t want to bother you.” The words slipping from your lips had his chest tightening.

”You’re never a bother baby.” His words came out almost as whispers, eyes pleading. ”I- I know I messed up, I should’ve been here. I promise I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” He didn’t miss the way something flashed in your eyes, something hard and cold before your face softened. The sadness in your gaze when you watched him had him want to clutch his chest.

”You don’t have to promise anything Carlos.” The way you spoke was almost resigned. ”It’s fine. I just wish I didn’t feel like I’m something you have to work to fit into your schedule instead of something you actually want there.” The words stung, more than he had expected. Carlos wanted to reach for you, pull you close and tell you how important you were to him. That he’d give up everything else if you asked him to. But he didn’t, instead he just stood there looking into your eyes and realizing you didn’t want to talk to him right now. Carlos stayed still, watching you delicately make your way past him and he felt the weight of the promise that might’ve come a little too late this time.

That night, when Carlos eventually joined you in bed, he could feel the invisible wall between you. He caught himself glancing over, hoping you’d turn to him or shuffle closer like you’d usually do. He wanted nothing more than to have you curled up against his chest, but something in the air stopped him from reaching out. Instead he stared up at the ceiling, your earlier words replaying in his head. You felt like he didn’t want you, like you didn’t matter enough to him to make time for you in his schedule.

The days that followed didn’t seem to get any better. Carlos didn’t know how to approach the subject, didn’t know what to say, and you moved through the apartment like a ghost. You were always polite, always kind, but distant. When he asked if you wanted to join him for coffee or go for a run och a bike ride you’d shake your head while offering a soft smile, telling him you didn’t have time right now. When he tried to bring up the upcoming weekend, a weekend he knew was free for both you and him, and suggested that you’d plan a trip together you once again offered a sweet smile and told him you’d be up for whatever worked best for him. You stopped asking him for things, he noticed, and you never reached out first. When you kissed it was him who leaned in, when you ate together it was his suggestion. You didn’t remind him of plans, didn’t suggest movie nights, didn’t send him those funny little updates on your day when you were apart and he missed it. All of it. You didn’t even utter a word of complain when he was busy, you just let him go and never asked for even a moment of his time. Every time he noticed you step back something inside him twisted.

One evening, after Carlos had spent the day at the training center, he came home to find you sitting on the couch reading. You looked up at him when he entered, offered him a faint smile and a small hello, before turning back to your book. Usually, before all this, you’d be quick to ask him about his day, pull him down to cuddle with you and gently scratch the stress away from his scalp. But now it was as if you almost went out of your way not to talk to him. Carlos couldn’t stand it. It had only been a few days but the tension, the quiet ache of your absence was driving him mad. Taking a deep breath Carlos shuffled over, taking a seat on the coffee table infront of you. You shifted, glancing up at him, but didn’t speak.

”Can we talk?” His voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. You hesitated, you hated that you did, before nodding slowly.

”Of course. What’s on your mind?” The way you answered, so calm and almost indifferent, made him have to swallow the lump in his throat. He took a deep breath, choosing his words carefully.

”It’s not about what’s on my mind, it’s about yours. I, well I can feel you pulling away and I get that it’s my fault, you know? I know it’s because of what happened but I- I don’t know how to fix it. ”

”Carlos,” you murmured, eyes trailing down to your fidgeting fingers. ”It’s fine. I told you, I don’t want to bother you. I know you’re busy, I know you don’t need more stress in your life.” The words hit him like a punch. A bother. He could tell you genuinely believed that, that you saw yourself like someone, something, that bothered him. After everything you’ve been through he’d somehow made you feel like an inconvenience in his life.

”Don’t say that.” His voice was strained as he leaned forward, elbows on knees. ”You’re not a bother. Never. I’m sorry I made you feel like that. I know forgetting your birthday was the dickmove of the century, I really fucked up-”

”It’s not about you forgetting my birthday Carlos.” You shook your head softly, interrupting him. ”Or, well it is but not just that. It’s that sometimes, more recently, it feels like there’s no room for me in your life. Like you’re not willing to make room. I’m here all the time and you come find me when it’s convenient.” Carlos flinched, words cutting through his heart like sharp blades. You were right, he knew you were, but he hadn’t been willing to admit it earlier. He barely was now. You’d always been so kind, so understanding and supportive of his career and his demanding schedule and your support meant the world to him. He hated that he hadn’t showed you that. He hated himself for taking it for granted.

”I know I haven’t been good at- well at balancing things.” As he spoke his voice was thick with regret. ”And I know it’s been a lot recently, but carinõ I never meant to make you feel like, like you’re on the outside. I see you as a part of my life, like the biggest part. You’re what’s important.” Your gaze stayed trained on your hands, expression softening but still guarded.

”That’s nice to hear.” Murmured words had him carefully reach out to wedge his hand between yours and for the first time in days you didn’t pull away. ”I get that you have a lot on your plate and I want to support you I just, I don’t know if I can keep pretending it doesn’t hurt.”

”You shouldn’t. Pretend, I mean.” Silence settled slowly as Carlos tried to gather his thoughts. He held your hand tightly, thumb swiping gently across your knuckles. He knew what he wanted to say, he wanted to throw promises at her and beg her to give him another chance, but he also knew that wouldn’t cut it. Carlos understood that whatever he said now wouldn’t matter until he actually showed you, showed up for you, and he silently promised himself he would. As a single drop hit the back of his hand his eyes quickly trailed back to your face, feeling his chest clench as he watched yet another tear slowly slip down your cheek. With a deep breath he squeezed your hand, leaning closer. ”Can I please hold you?” The question felt weird on his tongue, he’d never asked for permission to touch you before, but it seemed necessary in the situation. When you offered a small nod, sniffing quietly, Carlos didn’t hesitate. In a swift maneuver he was seated next to you in the couch, arms wrapped around your frame as you fell against him. He released a shaky breath when he felt your arms snake around his torso and he pulled you somehow even closer, nose pressed against the top of your head.

”I missed you.” Your voice was barely audible but Carlos could feel the words seep into his skin.

”I missed you too.” He spoke against your hair. ”And I know I will have to show you for you to believe me, but I really am sorry. You deserve a lot more than I’ve given you lately and I promise I’ll be better. I’ll make time, real time, for us. You’re the most important person in my life, you’re my person, and I’m not losing you.” Carlos eyes fluttered open as you slowly pulled away, looking up at him with a mixture of sadness and hope.

”I really hope you mean it.”

”I do.” You held his gaze in silence for what felt like forever until you finally nodded.

”Okay.”

~~

The days went on after that and soon enough days turned into weeks, weeks into months. Carlos had really realized what he had been doing to you, how his neglect had chipped away at the foundation of what you had built together, and he’d been working on it. Really working on it. At first it was awkward, you both thought so. Carlos wasn’t used to scheduling his time around someone else, not in the way you needed or in the way he wanted to offer. He had to force himself to slow down, to prioritize moments with you. He learned to say no, to meeting, to interviews, to unnecessary events because he had realized what it cost him to always say yes. The reward for saying no though, was what really brought him happiness. Every time he chose you, every time he prioritized you over the demands that came with his career, he saw something in your eyes. Relief, hope, love. It hadn’t been easy though, not all of it. There were moments when he still caught you hesitating before asking for something, moment when he knew you were keeping yourself in check not to be a bother, and every time it broke his heart a little bit. One time you carefully suggested that the two of you could take a small trip, since both of you were off work for a few days, and he could tell you were bracing yourself for disappointment even as you asked the question. He knew you still kept a lot of your feelings to yourself, brushing off things that upset you, and that’s what hurt him the most. Knowing you were still healing from what he’d put you through. There were good moments too, the majority actually, that made both of you feel like you were moving in the right direction. Like when he surprised you with a packed picnic basket one morning when you thought he would be at work. Or that time he saw you smile, really smile, when you heard him turn down a late-night meeting just to stay in and watch your favorite show together. It was a slow process, earning back your trust, but he was determined to make it.

One evening you sat on the balcony together, the glow of the city and the sinking sun blending together in front of you. Carlos had you tucked closely to his side, fingers twisting a strand of your hair absentmindedly as both of you just seemed to enjoy your time together.

”You’re quiet tonight.” Your soft murmur had him gazing down at you, smiling softly when he saw your face already turned up. Carlos moved his free hand to brush a strand of hair from your cheek.

”I’m just thinking.”

”About what?” Carlos hesitated, unsure how to express what he was feeling. When you reached up to grab his hand, tilting your head in that way he always found so endearing, he spoke up again.

”About how lucky I am. That you’re still here, with me, you know? That you didn’t give up.”

Your expression softened if possible even more, fingers intertwining with his. ”I never wanted to give up Carlos, I never wanted us to end.” You assured him, brows softly knitting together. ”I just needed to know if you actually wanted me here.” Carlos chest tightened, reminders of those painful days when he didn’t know if he’d be able to fix what he caused flashing through his mind.

”I do. I did and I do. I’ll always want you, need you.” He paused to lean down and press his lips against your forehead for a moment, taking a deep breath in through his nose as he gathered his composure. “I’ll never stop trying to show you how much you belong in my life, how important you are to me. Because you are.” Carlos tensed for a second as you pulled away, holding his breath as you looked at him. When you finally moved again you slowly leaned up to kiss him, lips soft and warm against his, and Carlos felt himself relax again. As you pulled back he saw a glimmer of something in your eyes, something lighter, as if the weight you’d been carrying was slowly starting to lift.

”Thank you.” Once again your words came out soft, softer than he felt he deserved.

”For what?”

”For fighting for us. For wanting to make this work. You could’ve just given up and focused all your time on all your other stuff, but you’ve really tried.” Your words had him melt, the arm he had around your shoulders tightening slightly. ”I do really appreciate these past months Carlos, and I know it hasn’t been easy but it’s been good. Great. You’ve been great.”

”It hasn’t been easy.” He agreed slowly. ”But it has been worth it. Every time.” Carlos leaned in to press another gently kiss against your lips before continuing. ”I’ll always fight for us. For you.” He didn’t say anything else. Neither did you. You didn’t have to. You just sat there, tangled together in the quiet and felt the wave of security and gratitude wash over you. Things were going to be okay, both of you knew it. Maybe even better than okay.

[forwards-beckon-rebound]

dick grayson instagram hcs

basics

we are pretending dick is not a cop in this because i said so!

he's a professional model but also does perform at a local circus as a special guest

he's not actually going to the olympics (yet) but the american team has been trying to contact him for the better part of the decade so maybe you can convince him to go

he's kind of like one of your friends who you think is chill and normal but then you go to their ig and you find out they're something of a local celebrity?

everybody in gotham already knew him as bruce wayne's son but also he went semi viral on tiktok and got a bunch of new fans (and some edits) out of it

he used to have a less serious pfp but his management convinced him to use this one instead

followers + following

obviously you're there

as well as his friends and family

he manages to get away with following the superheroes since i mean, basically everybody else does as well

also a lot of industry people that he meets, both for modeling and gymnastics/trapeze

highlights

he is an abuser of the story function

will spend any opportunity to brag about his pretty girlfriend and all of the dates and trips you guys go on

he is weirdly good at taking photos, will give you tips on how to pose to get your best angles

also he has a lot of fans so he likes to post a photo of you every once in a while to remind everyone that he's happily taken

will also repost your work related stuff to be like hey look at how cool my gf is at her job!

dude has a million highlights that he updates for the fashion weeks each year

a lot of photos of his looks, him meeting with certain designers, it's mostly his team who posts this

same thing with his shows in the sense that it's usually other people (including you) taking photos of him while he's performing

but this is a more personal venture of his so he asks everyone to send him the pics and he decides which ones to post

will also repost stories from fans who came to the show!

oooh this man posts the most jaw dropping photos of himself

he will have just woken up and post a photo that makes you think it's so unfair how perfect somebody can be

he just likes to post when he feels good about himself and i support!

haley and (i did not come up with a name for your guys' cat so you guys can have fun with that!) also have their own dedicated highlight

it is exactly as cute and wholesome as you would think it is

there are even more highlights if you keep on scrolling. he has highlights for each year's fashion weeks, as mentioned, as well as trips you guys have been on (the most recent is a trip to greece and italy!)

posts

once again he's one of those infuriating sort of famous people who are like fine as hell but they post just enough cute and relatable content that he actually seems like a real and very nice guy (fun fact, he is!)

you can tell immediately when he's been on a trip because he'll have at least 3 posts up and they're all of the same place

you guys are like the photo taking couple

if you weren't good at taking pics before you started dating, his skills definitely rub off on you

he'll do the thing where he gets you to pose for him so he can take a photo of you and then you take the same style of photo for him

it's disgusting you guys have matching photos on your feeds of each other

if it wasn't already common knowledge that you guys are dating, i can imagine the conspiracy theory videos being like guys they were in the same place? at the same time? and they took the same type of pics? i think they're dating

he loves cooking with you (while i personally think it would be really funny if he can't cook, in some of the comics they do mention that he can cook, but either way he enjoys cooking with you)

you guys are like the parent friends who host dinner at their place and there's usually a theme surrounding seasonal ingredients and everything's plated really well

you probably watch cooking shows together and are now you can't serve a dish without some microgreens or sliced radish on top or something

also yes he did plan the picnic and he's quite proud of it

he watched all of those charcuterie board hacks to make the flowers and fancy cheese arrangements

and there were chocolate dipped strawberries, champagne with glasses, and freshly baked cookies (alfred might have helped with that one)

also yes he does wear glasses!!!! only at home when he's reading or staring at a screen too long. his prescription's not that bad

———

jason ver.

[thegothicchangeling]

Could you please do some Selvika x reader hcs where the reader is the eccentric feral type of autistic who cannot be trusted to not get into mischief when unsupervised (but actually has an intricate plan with their mischief)?

Absolutely! I myself am a feral autistic lord of chaos

Sevika loves all your little quirks, really, she does. But your antics can be a lot.

I think if she's tired and doesn't want you to get up to anything, her solution will be to cuddle you. Keep you in her lap, warm and happy. You probably won't even want to get up with all the attention she's laving on you.

But when you do, you are a force of chaos.

Maybe you instigate fights as amusement for yourself. I don't think Sevika would actually mind that, though. She'd love it, actually

Maybe you put a recording of raccoon noises inside the wall of the last drop. Everyone is going insane trying to find it, because you move it periodically

"Y/N, did you-" She hasn't even finished her sentence before she knows you're behind it. The look on your face and the little giggle gives you away immediately. But at least it's not real raccoons. This time.

And let's say you bite. I know I do. And we know Sevika has a thing for that, so this is just one more thing she loves about you.

She could scrolling through her phone while you're just using her bicep as a chewtoy. She probably gets your bite mark tattooed on her eventually.

But she knows she can't let you get bored, or you'll do something insane, like try the barell running thing in the least appropriate place and inevitably get hurt, so she'll try to keep you occupied.

She buys you lots of stim toys. You probably have boxes of them after just a year with her.

She teaches you lots of different card games and lets you play with her fingers or her hair.

Or she could keep you busy in other ways, but this wasn't an nsfw ask.

The thing is, Sevika might roll her eyes and call you annoying, but she knows her life was way too boring before you came along.

[southtopaz]

PSYCHO KILLER - SCREAM

Summary: in which Iris Morris has to navigate her personal relationships while surviving a psycho.

Warnings: Fem!reader, angst, mention of violence, swearing, mention of death, Tara Carpenter x Fem reader, multiple parts, slowburn

Word count: +3,5

A/n: this part will follow the events of Scream 6 but it will take place two years later from Scream 5. English is not my first language, so I apologize for any grammatical mistake.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14.

Iris sat in the stark, fluorescent-lit interrogation room, her fingers nervously fidgeting in her lap. She never imagined she would find herself in a police station, let alone facing such horrifying circumstances. The recent attempts on her life and her friends' had thrust her into a nightmare she couldn't have anticipated. Life had a way of surprising her in the most fucked up ways and now she would've to deal with it.

Beside her, Sam and Tara sat in tense silence, the gravity of the situation hanging heavily in the air.

In front of them on the cold, metal table lay a series of photographs depicting the gruesome aftermath of the recent crimes. Among the images were shots of Greg and Jason, their faces frozen in time, reminders of their horrible deaths. The sight was chilling, and Iris couldn't shake the feeling of dread that settled in her stomach.

"It would be nice if someone could explain why they think showing us pictures of dead people is a good idea," Iris muttered under her breath. Just then, she felt a sharp kick to her shin from the youngest Carpenter sister, a subtle but clear warning to keep her comments to herself.

The atmosphere in the room shifted slightly as the door creaked open, revealing Quinn's father, Wayne Bailey. He stepped inside, a brief smile flickering across his face as he took a seat opposite them. In his hands, he held a bag that unmistakably contained a Ghostface mask.

"This was found next to the body at the apartment crime scene," Wayne informed them in a calm, steady voice. He placed the evidence on the table, allowing the three of them to examine it closely. The item—a worn Ghostface mask—seemed to absorb the room's light, casting a shadow of unease over them. "DNA analysis indicates it belonged to someone named Richie Kirsch."

He glanced at each of them, searching for something in their faces. "Does that ring a bell?"

"Unfortunately," Iris replied, her voice tinged with dread as memories of past encounters flooded back.

"We're all familiar with him," Sam added quietly, her gaze fixed on the mask.

"But the one who attacked us had a different mask on," Tara interjected, her brow furrowing in thought. "It was kind of more beat up. Like it was older.".

Wayne's expression shifted as he furrowed his eyebrows in contemplation. "I gotta ask, do you have alibis for earlier tonight?"

"Iris and I were at a party with our friends," Tara answered, her voice more assertive now, eager to distance themselves from any suspicion.

"I was at my therapist's," Sam muttered, a hint of annoyance creeping into her tone. "I can give you his information. You can call to check if you want."

Wayne nodded in acknowledgement as Sam continued talking.

"And then I met Tara at that party, where I tased someone," Sam said, glancing at the police officer. "Unrelated," she added with a roll of her eyes.

Wayne turned his attention to Iris, his eyes narrowing as he noticed her busted lip. "What happened to you?" he asked, gesturing towards her injury.

"I might have punched someone," Iris admitted, her tone surprisingly casual. She caught Wayne's surprised expression and quickly added, "Completely unrelated too."

Wayne blinked at her, a flicker of skepticism crossing his face. "A lot of unrelated things happened tonight," he observed, his tone probing.

"I know, crazy right?".

Wayne didn't respond directly to Iris. Instead, he pulled out his phone and began scrolling through videos, his expression shifting to one of focus. "Was this before or after this happened?" he asked, turning the screen toward them.

The video played, revealing the moment where a woman dumped her soda over Sam's clothes, followed by the sound of both Iris and Sam shouting in indignation.

"Before," Sam confirmed, her voice steady as she watched the footage.

"The point is, we were with people all night," Tara interjected firmly, her tone leaving no room for doubt. She leaned forward, intent on conveying their innocence.

"So, our roommate's dad just happened to pull your case?" Sam inquired, her voice tinged with suspicion.

"That'd be a crazy coincidence, right?" Bailey replied sarcastically, a wry smile playing on his lips.

"Completely unrelated, isn't it?" Iris added, furrowing her eyebrows in an attempt to mask her unease.

"Yeah," Sam echoed, her voice steady but with an undercurrent of tension.

Wayne leaned back slightly, crossing his arms as he continued. "The detective who had the case offered it to me because it involves Quinn. But I can totally give it back if you're uncomfortable. It's up to you."

"It's fine," Sam said, rolling her eyes after exchanging a quick, silent look with Tara and Iris.

Wayne shifted his focus back to the case. "So, if the man who attacked you did steal your license and planted them next to the body," he stated matter-of-factly, "it's probably someone close to you. How long have you known your friends?"

"We moved here about two years ago with Mindy and Chad," Tara explained, her voice steady. "That's when we first met Quinn, Ethan, and Anika."

"I think I can vouch for Quinn," Wayne said, offering a small, reassuring smile, trying to bring comfort to the girls. "So that's one less person we have to worry about."

Iris felt a flicker of doubt at his words. Just because Quinn was his daughter didn't mean she could trust her completely. She could still be the killer, no one was innocent in her mind.

"Do any of you have anyone that might want to target you?" Wayne continued, his tone shifting to one of serious inquiry.

"I would love to say no but we both know I would be lying".

"Not anyone who's still alive," Tara answered coldly as Bailey stared at her in shock.

"Yikes,"

The door swung open, revealing yet another police officer who strode in with an air of urgency. "FBI's here, claiming jurisdiction," he announced, his tone leaving little room for doubt.

"Where are they?" Wayne asked, rising from his seat.

"We should probably follow him," Iris suggested, her instincts kicking in. After exchanging glances, Tara and Sam nodded in agreement, and they all stood up, following Bailey out of the interrogation room. As they stepped into the bustling hallway, they spotted a blonde woman  talking to the man in a suit. Sam's eyes widened in recognition.

"Kirby?" she blurted out, shock evident in her voice.

The woman turned at the sound of her name and walked over, a broad smile spreading across her face as she enveloped Sam in a warm hug. "Hey, Sam!"

Tara looked on, surprised, as Kirby shifted her attention to her. "Tara," she acknowledged with a nod before her gaze landed on Iris. There was a brief pause as Kirby took a deep breath, preparing to greet her as well.

"Hi, Iris."

Iris felt a wave of confusion wash over her. The name sounded familiar, but she couldn't quite place it. "Hey, do we know each other?"

Kirby smiled softly, her eyes reflecting a hint of nostalgia. "You don't remember me, but I used to babysit you."

"Wait, really? When?" Iris's mind raced, trying to grasp the fragments of her past.

"When you were about six or seven, I helped your sister out a lot," Kirby explained, her tone warm and reminiscent. Suddenly, memories began to resurface in Iris's mind. "Olivia was my friend."

Iris's eyes lit up with recognition, she was Kirby Reed one of the survivors of the Ghostface attacks in 2011. "I remember you now" she exclaimed, a soft smile breaking across her face.

"You're with the FBI?" Sam asked, Kirby nodded, her expression shifting to one of seriousness.

Wayne, who had been observing the exchange with growing curiosity, interjected, "You guys know each other?"

"Yeah, we went to Woodsboro High together," Sam said, shaking her head in the slightest. "She was a senior when I was a freshman."

"We share a certain history, yeah," Kirby murmured, then she turned to Wayne."I'm not trying to get into a jurisdictional pissing contest here, I just want to help. I'll show you mine... etc".

Kirby handed Wayne the information she had, one of them being another mask.

"He left this mask at the bodega," she affirmed. "DNA traces of two individuals, Charlie Walker, Jill Roberts, both deceased."

"The Ghostface killers of 2011," Iris said. Kirby looked at her with sadness. She lifted up her shirt, revealing the scar on her stomach. "Charlie Walker gave me this."

"Like I said, I take a special interest". Kirby stated, turning her attention to the three women standing in front of her. "Is this the mask he was wearing when he attacked you?"

"No," Tara replied, shaking her head firmly, the memory of the attack still vivid in her mind.

Wayne furrowed his brow, processing the implications of their exchange. "So he's leaving them on purpose," he voiced aloud, the realization dawning on him.

"Exactly," Kirby added, her expression serious. "Which means whoever's doing this is a student of the killers who came before. Maybe he believes that Sam is the latest in a long line"

"Which means he's insane," Iris interjected, her frustration evident. "That's nothing new."

"Yeah, good luck with that," Sam replied sarcastically, crossing her arms as she glanced at the mask. She felt an overwhelming urge to escape the suffocating environment. "We're getting out of town."

As the three friends tried to walk away from the investigators, Wayne suddenly halted their steps with one firm statement. "I'm sorry, that's not possible."

"Why not?" Iris asked, anger bubbling beneath the surface as she turned to face him. "We are allowed to leave at any moment. This is absurd."

"All three of you are person's of interest in a double homicide, so you're not allowed to leave town, sorry."

Sam opened her mouth to protest, but Tara quickly jumped in, her voice steady. "Are you serious?"

"He's right," Kirby confirmed. "But if we work together-"

"Yeah no thanks, we rather escape".

"We're going" Sam interrupted Kirby as she tried to talk once again.

The three of them burst out of the police station, squinting against the bright afternoon sun that bathed the street in a harsh light. As they stepped into the open air, they were immediately met with reporters shouting and cameras recording.

Microphones were thrust toward them, questions shouted in rapid succession, Iris felt her heart race, a mixture of anxiety and frustration coursing through her. "We need to get out of here," she muttered, glancing at Tara and Sam, who looked equally disoriented.

Tara shielded her eyes from the sun and tried to push through the throng. "Just ignore them! Let's keep moving!"

Sam nodded, her jaw set in a grim line as she tried to maintain her composure amid the frenzy. The last thing they needed was to become the center of a media circus. They started walking faster, trying to navigate through the crowd, but the reporters closed in, creating a wall of intrusive questions and flashing lights.

"Samantha, do you have an alibi for last night's murders?"

"Tara, do you feel safe around your sister?"

None of them bothered to answer any of the questions they were thrown.

"Gale Weathers, Channel 4." Sam, Iris and Tara turned around to glare at the older woman. Just when they thought things couldn't get worse. "Do you ladies think you're the reason the Ghostface killer has come to the Big Apple?"

Sam didn't even bother to answer as she tried to punch Gale in the face though the woman was quick to dodge it. "Nice try, sweetie, but I've done this dance before,".

Then Tara, without anyone expecting it, punched the woman right in the face, making Gale place her hand in her cheek in surprise and pain.

"Good punch" Iris whispered as she stared at Tara.

"Don't take one more step Gale, we want nothing to do with you" Iris snapped at the older woman.

"Are you guys still mad at me?" Gale exclaimed in shock as if she couldn't believe someone wouldn't want to talk to her.

"You said you wouldn't write a book about what happened," Sam shot back at her. "And then you wrote a book about what happened."

"Oh, come on! Somebody was going to write about it. It's what I do!"

"I heard you couldn't sell the movie rights," Tara taunted her.

"It's all about true-crime limited series these days," Gale sighed in despair.

"After everything we went through together," Sam said coldly, she couldn't believe the audacity . "What would Dewey think?"

"That was a low blow."

"Good, I hope it hurts to know that Dewey would be disappointed in you" Iris spoke.

"So was your book," Sam was quick to speak once again. "You called me unstable and a born killer."

"That's taken out of context-"

"That's literally a quote."

"You don't think what you wrote has something to do with what's happening to us?" Tara questioned the woman.

"Come on," Sam muttered to the other two as she turned to leave.

"Hey, I talked to Sidney," Gale added, as she followed them.

"Please tell me she's not coming" said Iris.

"No. She sends her love," The woman answered. "But she's taking Mark and the kids somewhere safe. She deserves to have her happy ending.

"On that much we agree," Sam sighed in relief for the Sidney.

"At least someone should have a normal life".

Then they stopped a taxi and they all got in.

"Hey, I want to catch this fucker as much as you three do!"

"Maybe," Tara shouted back. "Or maybe you're just afraid that without Ghostface in your life, you're gonna fade away."

A few hours later, the group found themselves gathered on a set of benches in the sun-drenched university campus, the air buzzing with anxiety. Mindy had orchestrated this reunion with a singular purpose: to dissect the events surrounding Ghostface. It was one of those beautiful days that seemed ill-suited for discussing such horrific topics, yet here they were.

"Okay, nerds! Listen up!" Mindy clapped her hands, her enthusiasm a stark contrast to the matter. "As terrifying as this all is, I'm actually glad I have the chance to redeem myself for not calling out the killer last time."

"Not this again," Iris muttered under her breath, her eyes rolling in exasperation.

Mindy waved her off with a playful grin. "Okay, hear me out! The way I see it, someone is clearly trying to create a sequel to the requel."

"Uhm, what's a requel?" Anika piped up, raising her hand as if she were in class, her curiosity shining through.

Mindy beamed at her girlfriend, momentarily distracted. "You're beautiful, sweetie," she said, her smile warm and genuine. "But let's hold all questions until the end, alright?."

"Stab 1 took place in Woodsboro". Sam interjected, her voice steady. "And Stab 2 took place in college."

Tara's eyes widened as she connected the dots. "So, we think the killer is trying to copy the movies?" Chad, leaning back with a weary expression, sighed deeply, as if the weight of their predicament was already exhausting him.

"That is one possibility," Mindy agreed with the girl. "Heroes now in college, check. Suspicious new characters brought in to round out the suspect list and body count check." She pointed at Ethan, Anika and Quinn. Anika tensed up at Mindy's declaration while Ethan looked nervously at the group and Quinn just looked confused.

"I don't like this," Ethan blurted out, a hint of panic in his voice. "It sounds like you're accusing us".

Iris raised an eyebrow, leaning forward slightly as she studied him. "That depends. Have you done anything weird lately?" She tried to mask her words with a teasing tone, but the weight of her question hung in the air, making it clear she was serious.

Ethan chuckled awkwardly, his eyes darting away. "If you count weird as going to classes, then yeah, I guess so," he replied, forcing a laugh that fell flat among his friends.

Iris tilted her head, her expression unreadable. "You said you haven't watched Stab, right?"

"Yeah, what about it?" he asked, the confusion in his voice deepening.

"I just think it's curious, that's all," Iris said, adopting a nonchalant tone that didn't quite match the intensity of the moment.

Ethan frowned, trying to decipher her meaning. "I'm not the biggest fan of horror movies, you know that,".

"Sure, but it's not just that," Iris pressed on, her tone shifting to something more serious. "In a situation like this, it's almost suspicious not to be familiar with those movies. Especially with what's going on."

Ethan shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "So you think I'm acting suspicious because I don't watch slasher films? That's a bit extreme, don't you think?"

"I just think it's worth discussing," Iris insisted, her eyes never leaving his. "The last time someone told me he hadn't watched those movies was also the last time we got stabbed so...".

"He's also dead now".

"Jesus Iris". Ethan whispered in horror.

The group fell silent for a moment, the tension thickening as they all considered the implications of Iris's words. Mindy exchanged glances with Tara, and Chad shifted in his seat, clearly uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation.

Iris would have continued pressing Ethan for answers, but suddenly she felt a hand gripping her thigh. Glancing up, she realized the hand belonged to Tara, who was silently signaling her to back off. Understanding the cue, Iris fell silent and placed her own hand gently over Tara's.

"Thank you, Iris, for your wonderful comments. I'm sure everyone appreciated them," Mindy said, clapping her hands together in a conciliatory gesture. "But we can't just focus on Stab 2."

"Why not?" Tara asked, her brow furrowed in confusion.

"It would make sense if this were just a sequel. But we're not in a sequel, because nobody just makes sequels anymore. Were in a franchise!" Mindy's excitement was palpable as she delved into her theory. "And there are certain rules to a continuing franchise"

"I'm shocked" Iris sarcastically said. "This is shocking news"

"Rule one: Everything is bigger than last time. Bigger budget, bigger cast, bigger body count. Longer chases, shoot-outs, beheadings. You got to top what came before to keep people coming back"

"Beheadings?" Chad questioned fearfully. He was taking notes of everything his sister was saying.

"Beheadings." Mindy repeated back to her brother. "Rule two: Whatever happened last time, expect the opposite. Franchises only survive by subverting expectations. If the killers last time were whiny snowflake film nerds with letterbox accounts instead of personalities, you can bet the opposite will be true here"

"And rule three: No one is safe. Legacy characters? Cannon fodder at this point.

Usually brought back only to be killed off in some cheap bid for nostalgia. It's not looking to good for Gale and Kirby" Mindy said, glancing at her friends. "Oh, and that's not even the worst part!"

"This is the part where she tells us the worst part" Chad muttered not looking up from his notebook.

"The worst part is franchises are just continuing episodic installments designed to boost an IP. Which means main characters are completely expendable now, too. Laurie Strode, Nancy Thompson, Ellen Ripley..."

"What the fuck is she talking about?" Iris whispered to Tara.

"Just say yes and nod".

"I mean, even Luke Skywalker, they all died so their franchises could live on. That means it's not just the friend group. Any of us could go at any time, especially Sam and Tara" Mindy finished her rant. "Well so do you Ris".

"Thanks Mindy, I especially liked the part you told me I was going to die".

"Wait, any of us?" Ethan asked, glancing nervously around at his friends. Mindy nodded, her expression serious.

"Am I even in the friend group? Am I, like, one of the targets here?" He questioned, his voice rising with a hint of panic.

"Mm-hmm," Mindy replied again, her tone unwavering.

"Am I gonna die a virgin?" he blurted out, causing everyone to exchange bewildered looks.

"Definitely," Iris shot back, her tone matter-of-fact, which made Tara and Chad snort quietly in amusement.

"That was a weird overshare," Mindy cringed, shaking her head. "But it does lead us to our current suspects: Ethan, the shy, dorky guy that no one would ever suspect, precisely because he's so shy and dorky."

"Why am I on the suspect list?" Ethan asked, trying to keep his tone serious. "Just because I happen to be Chad's roommate?"

"Roommate lotteries can be juked," Mindy scoffed at him. "You could've fixed it to get next to us".  Ethan's expression darkened, clearly offended by the insinuation. "Also Iris had a point."

Mindy shifted her focus, turning toward Quinn with an expectant look. "Let's not forget Quinn, the 'slutty' roommate," she continued. "A horror movie. classic".

"Sex positive, but...thank you?" Quinn told her not knowing if she should be offended or not.

"So, how did you end up living with Sam, Tara, and Iris?" Mindy asked Quinn, her curiosity piqued.

"I answered their ad online," Quinn replied like it was obvious.

"Okay, say no more," Mindy said, a sly grin spreading across her face. "You've already implicated yourself enough."

"It was an anonymous ad, Mindy," Tara defended her, a trace of irritation in her voice. "And you know we vetted her. Plus, her dad is a cop,"

"And that makes it more likely that she's the killer, because having a cop dad is a great cover. Mindy shot back, her tone accusatory. "Do you not remember how these movies work, Tara?". Iris shrugged in agreement, a thoughtful look on her face, while Quinn shot them both an offended glance, clearly not pleased with their insinuations. Iris mouthed a quick "sorry" to her.

"Is she always like this?" Quinn whispered to Iris, her voice low enough to avoid being overheard.

"Yep, you get used to it," Iris replied with a smile. "It's part of her charm, really."

Mindy, not missing a beat, continued her theatrics. "And finally... Anika!" She blew kisses in Anika's direction. "Never trust the love interest." Anika's smile faltered at that remark. "Last attack proved that point, didn't it?" Mindy pointed a finger at Sam and Iris, the latter grimacing in response.

"Okay! So, we have our rules and we have our suspects," Sam said thoughtfully, leaning forward on the bench, her brows furrowed in concentration.

"But wait. What about you guys?" Ethan muttered, motioning towards the rest of the group.

"I think it's pretty safe to rule out the five of us who went through this two years ago in Woodsboro," Mindy declared confidently, though Iris shot Ethan a wary look.

"Agreed," Chad chimed in, nodding his head.

"Um, not so fast," Quinn interjected. "What if the trauma you all experienced caused one or more of you to snap?"

"That's literally bullshit," Iris retorted, crossing her arms defiantly.

"Yeah, or maybe the fame you gained from surviving those killings made you thirsty for more," Ethan added, his gaze sweeping over the group. "Let's be honest here, some of the theories online about Sam are..."

"Don't you fucking dare," Tara said, glaring at him, her voice low but fierce. Ethan looked down, wide-eyed.

"Okay, she's right, though," Anika attempted to defuse the tension. "I mean, if we're all suspects, then you're all suspects".

[1toreyouapart]

The Lies We Tell

***FANFIC THAT INVOLVES REAL PEOPLE. 18+ ONLY. MDNI. DO NOT READ IF YOU DON’T LIKE FANFIC THAT INVOLVES REAL PEOPLE***

Summary that tells you nothing: Sometimes everything you ever wanted has been right there, within reach, all along.

CW/TW: Angst, fluff, swearing, friends to lovers, jealousy, smut, fingering, PinV, pet names, friends with benefits, mention of mental health (past attempt), more to come as I actually get things written out.

Masterlist

We Mend

Days. Days of her moving out of his way. Of her refusing to look at him or acknowledge his presence, even though he was right there next to her. It was enough to drive him insane. He almost preferred her yelling at him. Maybe he had crossed a line. Probably not the best thing to bring up her past struggles with her mental health. He literally could have said anything but that. Yet he’d chosen to go that route. Like a prick.

Noah watched in silence as she brushed right past him, setting her coffee on the counter. Not a word out of her, even to tell him to get out of her way. She just moved past him, like he wasn’t there at all. Jolly cleared his throat, pulling his attention from her.

All of the guys sat at the kitchen table, heads down, pretending to scroll on their phones. He couldn’t blame them. Poor bastards were caught in the middle of his screw up.

“Sure is cold in here,” Jolly grumbled, glancing his way.

Fuck it. If she was going to refuse to speak to him, he was going to make it impossible for her to keep ignoring him. Let the games begin.

Moments before she picked her cup back up he snatched it from her grasp, smirking. Quinn’s eyes narrowed as he brought the cup up to his lips. At least now she was looking at him. Score one point for him. Slowly, dramatically, he took a sip, trying not to wince at how bitter it was. He’d forgotten she liked her coffee strong enough to degrease an engine and black. Jesus. No wonder she complained of her stomach hurting all the time.

“Give me my coffee.” Her voice was low, deadly.

“Mmmm.” He tapped his chin, pretending to think. “Nope. Thanks for the coffee, babe.”

“God. You’re such a fucking child.”

Noah laughed, walking away, cup of engine degreaser in hand. He wasn’t really going to keep it. Quinn was smart enough and knew him well enough to know that. However, he knew her well enough to know that she would follow him, claiming she just wanted her coffee back. When they both knew it was easier to just get a new cup of coffee. They’d been down this road before. However, he’d never snatched her coffee from her before. He was surprised she hadn’t hit him. She could be testy first thing in the morning. This may have actually been a miscalculation on his part.

With a weary sigh he set the coffee on his desk, settling into his computer chair to wait. Either she followed him or she didn’t and was downstairs setting a trap for him. Thankfully he didn’t have to wait long to find out. His bedroom door closed and he turned fully toward her, leaning back in his chair.

“Give me my coffee, Noah.” She sounded just as weary as he felt.

“Come here.” He patted his leg, motioning for her to come sit with him.

“Noah,” she whined. “Just give me my coffee, please. I’m exhausted.”

Definitely a jerk move taking her coffee. Guilt gnawed at him as he finally really looked at her. The dark circles under her eyes. How she stood there, shoulders slumped. She suddenly looked frail standing there in her sweatpants and shirt.

“Come sit,” he urged, holding his hand out to her.

Quinn groaned, acquiescing. Slowly, as though she wasn’t sure if she really wanted to she approached him, perching delicately on his leg. Exhausted but still stubborn as all hell. Noah rolled his eyes before fixing her with a stern look.

“Are you going to actually sit or do I have to do everything for you?”

“I’m tired, Noah. If I get comfortable I might fall asleep.” She yawned, stretching slightly.

“Then fall asleep, Quinn.”

“Too much to do,” she yawned again, relaxing into him.

To say he loved these moments was an understatement. The ones where no matter what was going on, no matter how mad at him she was, she just curled into him, tucking her head against his chest just as she was now. Nine times out of ten this was all it took. No words needed for an apology. Just a simple cuddle. But this time he had to apologize.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, burying his face in her hair. Peaches. She always smelled like fucking peaches and he loved it. “I crossed the line the other night.”

“I maybe might have, too. I’m sorry. But don’t take my coffee again. You’re lucky I’m too tired to fight.”

Noah chuckled, wrapping her up in a tight hug. These were the moments worth living for.

Tags: @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @mrscevans @supersquirrel1996

[dykedvonte]

Silly ask incoming: what video games would the crew enjoy, in your opinion? Especialy, multiplayer games they can play together on their rare breaks? I think Anya eats everyone up in mario cart (she is picking princess peach probably)

-💀

Okay so I know everyone always tries to do cop out answers with saying "They wouldn't play video games yadda yadda" but I'm giving everyone something:

Curly

I think he likes those mindless sort of games. Not like easy but ones where they are a bit methodical.

Likes games with options but also set rules/restrictions. Endless creativity would overwhelm him and make him frustrated as he wouldn't know what to do and when

Honestly? Sims, minecraft, stardew, terria, games where there's options but at the end its like an inverted funnel. Start the same each time but you make it what you want in the end.

I also think he'd love VR type games like Super Hot and Beat saber just for the physicalness and kinda not having to be in reality.

Not into multiplayer too much mainly cause he's actually not that competitive but because he always drags out matches by being the worst

Will happily join a server or world in the games he does play even if it gets abandoned. He's the type to log on for notalgia

Daisuke

We know he's a gamer already. QnA said he likes to go to the arcade and waste time losing.

Also has his little handheld so I think he's into retro games, no specific type just likes how creative they are for how simple they tend to look

Def likes management games. I see him as being into figuring out pro strats and gamer shit like that.

Pikmin, Katamari, Resident Evil, Crash Bandicoot, Spyro, etc... He likes the older stuff with a challenge, but proponent in wanting games to be mean to you again.

Gamer rage but in a sulky way like he misses a jump and just turns off the entire TV

A Mario Party instead of Mario Kart guy. Like the random chance of it all and to get aggressive and hype over like line tracing the mini game

Anya

And if I said Anya is like a strict multiplayer competitive like COD lobby girl then what?

Honestly I think she likes games with a lot of story and depth but has guilty pleasures in FPS and competitive games.

Like those RPG maker games a lot Mermaids Swamp, The Crooked Man, Ai Oni. Not for the horror, its a bit cliche but often time its the real people monsters or tragedy that captivates her.

Me thinks she's the type to scroll like Itchio or Game Jolt and plays whatever's free and looks interesting, gamer in the way she's just played games.

Ofc she's competitive, likes any game where she can show off or win, so she's always upset during chance games. Sorry girl, Daisuke won the draw no mario kart for you

Though I think her favorite would be like fighting games just to have subtle shit talk like "Are you sure you're not just button mashing?" Tekken Girlie

Swansea

This was hard cause like I genuinely think he wouldn't care about games and just plays them in the way like parents beat levels for their kids.

Platformers. Idk why but I think its just like its good hand eye coordination, keeps him feeling spry mentally.

Rhythm games honestly but in the sense of like how like piano tiles is a rhythm game.

He's like basic older man who plays like bejweled, solitaire, maybe even penguin diner.

I know this is almost a cop out but like I can't imagine him like being into gaming even if he was young, like I think he'd like card games, jacks and dice.

Honestly he plays online dominos vs the computer online and complains to his family or the crew (depends on where he is) about it cheating whenever he loses.

Jimmy

For real he's harder than Swansea's cause man doesn't even have hobbies like I don't know what he would actually like and it scares me

I think he's somewhat elitist with his gaming views because he just always thinks he's write but I know he plays everything the bad way

Honestly I think he likes games like Borderlands for the humor and the like fantasy power. Like Handsome Jack's humor a bit too much

Played Halo and Cod but either is so mid it's just not enjoyable enough for him to continue. Like he needs the instant gratification from gaming or he's not playing it anymore

Maybe GTA but again he annoys too many people and gets banned from servers and doesn't care about story mode.

LIkes the sims but in the fucked up girl way where he makes all the sims like live in his basement and paint for him while he get mad over storylines he made up.

I like think they all play monopoly like my family where it takes days because we treat it like real investments and alliances are formed and relationships ruined.

[xxfairytearsxx]

☆ how i originally lost weight quickly ☆

☆ i plan on doing as much of this again as i can ☆

☆ always have a bottle of water with you and refill it everytime you finish. constantly take sips throughout the day and drink at least one cup of water before every meal. it helps you feel fuller! i drink multiple bottles of water a day! ☆

☆ fast multiple days a week- doesn't even have to be a full 24 hours each time. i tend to skip breakfast and lunch or only eat veggies/fruits during this time then only have dinner (pushing it back as far as i can into the evening) so i can go to bed and sleep through any hunger. waiting this long for dinner makes me feel fuller or too nauseous to eat more. ☆

☆ a cup of coffee will help with and deter cravings in the morning. i don't like coffee so i would force myself to drink it and sip water afterwards to help with the taste. chewing gum also would help! ☆

☆ hate to say it but exercise really does impact the quickness (as someone who has always hated it and always said i would never do it) walking either 10,000 steps per day or 30-60 minutes on a treadmill. biking is a good way too. i would listen to music, watch a show or walk with friends to make it more enjoyable. ☆

☆ sleeping when you start to feel hungry and don't want to eat anything. this worked really well the farther i got in my progress due to the lack of energy and constant exhaustion. i slept most of the day a way when i wasn't working which made it easy to go long periods without eating. eventually you stop feeling the hunger. ☆

☆ stay busy! instead of eating do something else! clean, shower, read, draw, scroll online, paint your nails, dye your hair, brush your teeth. etc ☆

☆ try not to plan out meals too much. the less i think about food, the less i end up eating. eventually you just forget you're even hungry once you keep telling yourself you don't care. convince yourself food is really disgusting and if you do eat, make yourself overthink the textures, the taste, every little aspect to trick yourself into getting grossed out. ☆

♡ stay safe loves, remember recovery is still encouraged! ♡

[six-white-venus]

i've been staring at a blank page for months now, searching for the right words. the ones that used to flow out of the tip of my pen with a gasping cry of 'finally, finally' are nowhere to be found. the thing is, right, poets cannot thrive in mediocrity. cannot bloom, cannot scream all things beautiful without a laugh or a sob stuck in their throat. no one wants normal, you see. because normal is everywhere. but beauty? beauty is found in the reckless and jarring and the glittering night sky. but you can only write about the blue sky for so long before you get sick of it. can only bleed in paper till your wound closes, can only laugh till your breath runs out. and just like all things do, those moments end. that's what makes them worth of poetry- their fleeting, dream-like nature.

no one wants to read poetry about the days you waste scrolling through your phone or the assignment that you got a B- in. the thing is, right, just existing isn't worth of poetry. there is no way for a poet to thrive in a life of mediocrity and i'm afraid that's exactly where i find myself.

it makes me sad sometimes. i find myself missing the taste of copper in my mouth and the angry purple of the bruises on my knees. i hold my worn-out plush in my hand and wonder where it went- the joy it once used to bring me. my favorite t-shirt no longer fits me. i fold it up clumsily and think: have i outgrown greatness too?

but most of the time, it doesn't bother me. because you never really stop being beautiful despite what you might think. maybe you don't write as well as you used to. maybe reading your works no longer makes people overcome with an emotion that feels larger than life itself. and i've come to find that that's not so bad. not everything has to be booming and bright or miserable and black. you might not be great but your smile, candlelight soft and tired, is real. your wounds no longer make you feel like you're dying but your joints do ache terribly during thunderstorms.

the thing is, right, you will always be a poet. maybe not one that everyone adores or understands, but a poet nonetheless. what's beautiful to you might not be worth a second glance to me. what makes your day might be nothing worth remembering to a stranger. just because something that means the world to you means nothing to someone else doesn't make it meaningless.

keep a hand on your chest. feel your heart beat, steady, steady.

thump. thump. thump.

being beautiful is not what makes you alive.

thump. thump. thump.

you breathe, and therefore you are.

[frostfires-blog]

My Top 15 Favourite Anime (& Donghua) Female Characters 2024

[Before I get started, I'd like to point out that making this list was quite challenging considering I have watched quite a few anime. So please don't be too offended if any of your favourites aren't included; just because they aren't here doesn't automatically mean I dislike them. Feel free to leave your constructive thoughts and own lists in the comment section since I appreciate amicable discourse. Also, I decided to use the "keep reading" feature to make it easier to scroll through the long posts on my blog, so the official list is under the cut.]

-> Honourable Mentions:

-> My Top 15:

“If you’re helping someone and expecting something in return, you’re doing business not kindness.” Shirayuki is incredibly empathetic and emotionally aware as evidenced by her drive to ensure that the people around her feel cared for and supported. Even if it involves sacrificing her time and energy, she is always eager to help others. At times this is her greatest strength—as it enables her to build strong connections with others. However, on occasion, this trait makes it difficult for her to establish boundaries and prioritise her own needs.  This struggle is something I think we can all relate to.  I greatly admire her determination, optimism, compassion and resourcefulness. Her integrity, patience and consideration for others is something I aspire to emulate in daily life. Her passion for plants is something I have in common with her.

"I won't lose to myself!" Given that she has become somewhat of a meme in the fandom, I'm sure some of you may be surprised by this, but she was one of the first female anime characters I resonated with when I was young. Although she lacks presence in the overall series, her strong-willed and independent yet easy-going and relatable personality endeared her to me. Even in stressful situations, she is renowned for her diligence, discipline, practicality, and reliability. Her character serves as a tribute to the resilience of the human spirit as well as the value of perseverance and hard work. Her fear of failure sometimes causes her to doubt herself and her capabilities which highlights the struggle we all face with balancing our concerns and our obligations. Her fighting style and character design remain one of my absolute favourites, making me annoyed that Kishimoto didn’t do more with her character. Also, nejiten is my Roman Empire.

“This is a cruel world. And yet...so beautiful....” In all honesty, I'm still miffed by the ending of Attack on Titan, which had me contemplating whether to include her on this list, but I realised that would be petty and short-sighted. Mikasa was one of the first female characters I saw who not only stood with male characters on the battlefield but also outperformed them—which made me look up to her. Mikasa's greatest attributes are her inner strength and innate sense of responsibility to defend her loved ones and fight for justice, as well as her intense loyalty and devotion, especially to Eren. Aside from her strength and fortitude, she also possesses compassion and gentleness towards those she cares for—which I admire considering many female characters in shounen anime are pressured to sacrifice these qualities to be strong and respected.

“Why didn’t I try to get to know him better?” Since Frieren is the newest character on this list, I’m sure she’ll continue to grow on me in due time. As the protagonist of a show centred around the value of life, the importance of goodbyes and the passage of time; Frieren is an incredibly complex, multi-faceted character. Her journey to understand the depth of human relationships and emotions—after losing someone she failed to realise was important to her—is an incredibly touching and insightful one. Watching her experiences serves as an important lesson: to value every moment and to take the initiative to build connections with others—which is something I often struggle with. Frieren is best recognised for her composed demeanour. She demonstrates qualities such as an affinity for independence, a keen sense of introspection and a preference for logical reasoning—all of which allow her to serve as a voice of reason for their group. Her sharp mind and unrelenting curiosity propel her to continually expand the limits of her knowledge, enabling her to innovatively tackle challenges from a unique viewpoint—making her an engaging and dynamic character to watch.

“A-xian is my little brother…When others insult him it is no small matter to me.” While often overlooked due to her immense kindness and amiable personality—her determination, selflessness and fierce protectiveness of her loved ones are admirable. Although not a major character in MDZS, her influence over its more central characters is evident. Her lack of hesitance in sacrificing her life for her martial brother, Wei Wuxian—even though he unintentionally contributed to her husband’s death—endeared me to her. Her determination to rise above her difficult upbringing and grow into a caring, mature and reliable figure is praiseworthy along with her capacity to find common ground in seemingly immutable situations. Her character design ranks among my favourites as well and complements her personality well. She taught me that despite being in a society where one is harshly rebuked or pressurised it is important to stand firm in your beliefs and desires.

“If you must cling to something in order to yield, why not pick up that which you have tossed away and hold it in your hands anew?” While initially, she doesn't appear to be very noteworthy because of her limited role in the series, the brief time she gets presents her in a positive light and her backstory is notably well-developed even among more prominent side characters. Despite her reclusiveness; her compassion, forgiveness and humility are noteworthy—especially when contrasted with the majority of other Heavenly Officials. Given that characters like Xie Lian and Hua Cheng respect her, while Jun Wu and Pei Ming are cautious of her proves that her strength and significance should not be undervalued. Her ascension story—which earned her the moniker “The Princess Who Slit Her Throat”—is a prime example of her incredible selflessness as she willingly laid down her life to protect her family and country despite being ignored and mistreated for most of her life. She remains very grounded despite her status as the God of Rain and Agriculture and is always willing to help others, even if it means defying authority. She possesses no ill will towards those she has had disagreements with and doesn't hesitate to save them.

 "Even if it's a short life, burn hot and bright and overtake the moment. That's my way of life." Kagura is best known for her quick wit, tomboyish personality and fighting spirit which often manages to steal the spotlight in the Gintama series. She is an ardent and fierce fighter who doesn't hesitate to express her opinions. Beneath her brash exterior, she is compassionate and caring, frequently using her keen intuition and empathy when interacting with others. She often takes risks, facing challenges directly which can be seen as impulsive and abrasive—however, this behaviour stems from her need for control and security amidst a chaotic world. In a sense, we all struggle to assert ourselves in difficult situations and could benefit from approaching things with a little more of Kagura's zeal. Kagura also enjoys helping others and is incredibly devoted to the people she loves. She is also not afraid to voice her opinions or act when she sees someone in need. By virtue of her strength, humour, and charm, she has not only gained popularity among fans but also established herself as an iconic figure in the shounen genre.

"If you don't hold a rose carefully, you'll get pierced by its thorns." Tsukuyo is best known for her unique fighting style, sharp wit, caustic humour, and compelling backstory which has allowed her to become a fan favourite and a key part of many serious arcs in the series. In many respects, her design and backstory serve as a parallel to that of the protagonist—Gintoki—which adds to her depth. Furthermore, her name and personality are based on Tsukuyomi no Mikoto—the moon god in Shinto and Japanese mythology—accentuating the cool aesthetic of her design. Contrasting her rough exterior, Tsukuyo is shown to have a tender side, exhibiting an innate sense of empathy and sensitivity. Although her reserved attitude often conveys an impression of aloofness and distance, this is just how she processes things and expresses concern, which is something I can identify with.  Her most admirable quality is her strong sense of duty and loyalty towards her loved ones, as well as her inclination to prioritise the needs of others over her own. Although she struggles with insecurity and anxiety—leading her to hesitate and over-analyse—she is resolute in overcoming these issues when crucial matters are at stake, which is a valuable message.

“I once believed that the road of happiness continued forever and ever into the distance. When it was destroyed, I realized for the first time that it lies upon a thin sheet of glass. And just as we were saved, there were those whose happiness that haven't yet been destroyed. So, I wanted to get stronger and protect them.” Shinobu is a multifaceted and captivating character who stands out—even amongst Demon Slayer's eclectic cast—largely due to her distinct fighting style, striking design, tragic backstory as well as her nuanced personality and motivations. Shinobu's strongest assets are her insight, and compassion, which enable her to support those in need. She usually has a relaxed smile on her face and generally exhibits a bright, amiable, and joyful demeanour. However, it soon becomes apparent that this outward disposition is a façade masking her profound anger and relentless desire for vengeance. This dichotomy in her persona is foreshadowed by her conflicting roles in the series as a healer and a poisoner. Her desire to cater to those close to her is the primary motivation for her outward façade, which is primarily modelled after the mannerisms of her deceased older sister. Considering we all conceal certain parts of ourselves to appeal to others, this aspect of her character is very impactful and relatable. She also often struggles with feelings of inadequacy stemming from her physical limitations. However, she overcomes this obstacle by employing poison to kill demons, showcasing her resourcefulness, fortitude and tenacity. Although we all feel envious of the talents of others, Shinobu's character is a reminder that we all have our strengths and should face obstacles head-on never giving up on our objectives.

“Although our thoughts are changeable and difficult to understand, the actions we take don’t change, no matter how much time passes.” As a consequence of her seclusion in the Yamei Palace and her mystical abilities, Jusetsu is quite enigmatic and detached. While she is often perceived as haughty and aloof due to her bluntness, impatience and lack of social experience; she is shown to have a tender and vulnerable side. She possesses an inherent sense of justice and doesn't disregard those in need, even if they have offended her in the past, which is incredibly admirable. Although her position as the Raven Consort demands her to live alone, she quickly finds herself surrounded by people, leading her to feel guilty considering her deceased predecessor remained isolated. Her heart begins to soften as she lets others in, but she often struggles to comprehend others, causing her to inadvertently offend them—which is something that most of us can relate to. However, she is quick to mend things once she realises her misstep and comes to learn that it's necessary to confide in those who care about you. She frequently exhibits guilt about seeing her mother die, which leads her to feel that it's preferable to be by herself than to lose anyone else. Her struggles with guilt and constant introspection not only add to her complexity as a character but also make her very relatable. To a degree, we all worry that opening our hearts to others will result in us being irrevocably hurt but constantly have to take that risk to live a fulfilling life—thus making Jusetsu’s journey an incredibly empowering and compelling one.

“I'll definitely overtake you, and it'll be my turn to worry about you.” Misaki is best described as bright, diligent, pragmatic, and disciplined. As the student council president, she is committed to improving her school's reputation, even if it involves challenging the expectations of her male teachers and peers. Before Misaki's father abandoned their family, she was noticeably more tender-hearted and compassionate, but she subsequently developed a bias against males based on her conviction that they were inconsiderate and unreliable. She possesses a rigid sense of justice and sets high standards for herself and everyone around her. Consequently, she often struggles with her emotions, particularly when it comes to maintaining her composure when her private life is disrupted. Misaki is particularly embarrassed about her part-time position at a Maid Cafe, believing it contradicts her strong, uncompromising image, and consequently takes great effort to establish a rigid boundary between her public image and her private life by keeping this job hidden from others. Misaki's best quality is that she never veers off course and gives her all in everything she does, inspiring others in the process. Misaki exemplifies the value of resilience and diligence when it comes to achieving one's goals because, despite facing countless hurdles, she remains committed to her ideals. Conversely, she is overly self-sacrificing and frequently overworks herself due to her inability to trust others. Through the course of the series, she learns to accept her femininity and fragility while remaining assertive and self-sufficient. As she navigates her growing romantic feelings for Usui, she learns the value of having faith in others, as well as the significance of respect, communication, and acceptance in relationships. This process of self-discovery moulds Misaki into a multifaceted character who is exemplary and relatable.

“If history repeats itself, and moves in a circular path, then believing that whatever force is turning it is perfect, is all we can do as we move ahead. Pushed along by forces beyond our control, waiting, for the blade to be swung." Rukia’s best attributes are her altruism, modesty, strong moral compass and sense of duty. Her journey throughout the series centres around self-acceptance and belonging. Initially, she feels worthless and out of place yet longs to be recognised and accepted. Given that she finds it difficult to reach out to others, she never expresses these desires and lives a lonely life under continual strain. After meeting Ichigo and his friends, in the World of the Living, she begins to open up but quickly backtracks after she is taken back to the Soul Society to be executed. Despite enduring tremendous hardship, she never forsakes her ideals or blames anybody else—but instead faces and overcomes everything alone. This demonstrates her immense fortitude, resolve and integrity. Her strength lies in the fact that her heart never fluctuates. Upon the moment of her execution, she does not display fear or regret but is instead grateful for having lived an ample life. However, this is the turning point, as she is saved by Ichigo and is thereafter rewarded for her resolve and steadfast convictions. She finally alleviates herself of the guilt and grief she had been carrying by allowing herself to rely on others for emotional support. She can now confidently confront and overcome her greatest challenges because she is certain of who she is. In this way, Rukia's character serves as an example that no matter what you are faced with, your efforts will be recognised so long as you remain resolute and virtuous—which is incredibly commendable and compelling.

Her enduring and incomparable bond with the series’ protagonist, Ichigo is one of my favourite aspects of her character and the series as a whole. Throughout the story, she is a continual source of both physical and emotional strength for him. In several respects, Rukia's character is a parallel to his as she understands Ichigo's feelings better than anyone else considering she has gone through similar experiences. The quote "The rain drags the Black Sun down, but the rain is dried by the White Moon" perfectly encapsulates their dynamic—with Ichigo representing the former and Rukia representing the latter. Throughout the series, the rain is a potent metaphor for Ichigo's despair, while Rukia is constantly seen guiding and consoling him—effectively drying up “the rain”.  She acts as a "ray of light" for Ichigo—despite her problems—who in turn does the same for her. Rukia's symbolism as the "White Moon" also pertains to her technique—specifically her bankai, which transforms her into a veritable ice princess. This symbolism furthers her development, influence and prominence in the series.

"Before I question the gods, there are questions I should ask myself!" Yona's remarkable development from a pampered princess to a courageous warrior is precisely why she is one of the most recognised and respected shoujo heroines of all time. This development begins after her privileged and idyllic life in Hiryuu castle is upended when her beloved cousin, Soo-won, murders her father and seizes the throne. After witnessing this traumatising event, she is forced to flee the castle and is forced to adjust to a harsh and perilous life on the run. She is momentarily overcome with fear and denial thus depending entirely on her bodyguard and childhood friend Hak for protection and care. However, after recognising that the people who were sheltering her would suffer as a result of her incapacity, she began to pull herself together. Empowered by her newfound resolve, she and Hak journey across the kingdom in search of the legendary Dragon Warriors and through these fateful encounters, they cultivate a revitalized sense of purpose and camaraderie. It is on this journey that she begins to realise that her father’s pacifistic reign came at the cost of weakening their kingdom, leading to widespread strife and corruption. Her overwhelming guilt regarding her ignorance causes her to develop a genuine sense of responsibility towards her nation's people. With the support of her allies, she travels around the kingdom to improve the lives of the common people, having abandoned the prospect of revenge. Yona's fundamental strength is shown to derive from her emotional fortitude, compassion and capacity for forgiveness. Additionally, her adaptability, willingness to learn, and strong sense of conviction are all admirable. Although she continues to grow stronger throughout the series, she has always been incredibly kind and compassionate. She is inspiring because she demonstrates that true strength comes from within. It is her immense compassion that not only motivates her to protect her nation and change the lives of those around her but also draws people like Hak and the four dragon warriors to her. Her ability to forego her desire for vengeance in favour of forgiveness is not a show of weakness but is one of strength, selflessness and maturity. She realises that her desire for revenge is outweighed by the kingdom’s need for a radical and strong ruler like Soo-won —leading her to choose to work from the shadows to uplift the common people.

“It’s not always easy to see the good in people. In some people, you might even doubt that it’s there at all. But if you can somehow, find a way to believe…sometimes that’s all it takes to help someone, to give them the strength to find the good in themselves...” “No matter how cold it is now, spring will come again...” Tohru is best described as optimistic, hard-working, patient and open-minded. She is also modest, caring, and gentle-spirited. She constantly strives to seek out the good in everyone she encounters and is always willing to assist those in need—bearing no resentment against those who have harmed her. Her benevolent and amiable disposition effortlessly attracts people to her, making them feel accepted and valued, as demonstrated through her interactions with the zodiac members of the Sohma family. In comparison to the series' vast ensemble of colourful, quirky characters, Tohru is frequently perceived as being too perfectly kind and hence bland—nonetheless, this is completely misguided. In actuality, Tohru is equally as emotionally broken and thus the Sohma family heals her heart in the same way that she heals theirs. Her character is an exemplary subversion of the typical "kind-hearted" heroine given that she faces several genuine hardships that result from her gentle and charitable nature. She is not a perfect saint, but rather a girl who prioritises the struggles of others over her own as she attempts to find her place in the world. Her greatest strengths are her immense compassion, innate empathy and sincerity. Given that she expects nothing in exchange for helping others, her generosity does not originate from a position of entitlement, which is incredibly admirable. Tohru has a strong desire to be needed by others and thus often puts the needs of others before her own. She craves validation and assurance, hoping to be acknowledged as essential and irreplaceable to those around her. In response to the terrible treatment she received from her paternal relatives, Tohru has developed the notion that she might burden those around her, so she rarely expresses her desires. Consequently, she is inclined to internalise any unpleasant emotions and feelings rather than express them externally. However, as time passes, Tohru gradually learns to be more assertive and to accept help from others. Tohru's relationship with Kyo is another facet of her personality that I find endearing. Despite having similar backstories, they have developed divergent perspectives on life. Kyo finds it hard to recognise the positive in other people, while Tohru finds it hard to perceive anything negative in them. They strike a perfect equilibrium as he teaches her that being too unselfish and not sufficiently assertive is detrimental to her well-being, while she helps him realise that there is hope in trusting others. While Kyo is not the only one who sees through Tohru's façade, he is one of the only individuals who can help her face her issues as she becomes especially transparent around Kyo, confessing all her concerns and anxieties to him. Tohru demonstrates the power of forgiveness, love and friendship and exemplifies what it means to be a good person. Her journey towards overcoming her fears and attaining true happiness through strength and determination is heartwarming and inspiring. She embodies hope and compassion in a cruel and unfair world. Her growth demonstrates that being kind is not synonymous with being powerless or meek. She demonstrates that no one is completely perfect—that kindness is a choice rather than an innate gift, therefore we are all capable of making the effort to be kind and compassionate to others.

“If I should die, I'd want to die of poison.” Maomao's story is kickstarted when she is kidnapped and sent to the Imperial Palace as a maidservant. Maomao’s extensive knowledge of poisons and medicine, along with her aptitude for unravelling mysteries ensnare her into the intricate web of political intrigue despite her attempts to remain inconspicuous. She is mature, sharp-witted, composed, and pragmatic, in large part because she grasps her expendability in the Rear Palace. Being raised in the Red-Light District has shaped her into a resilient and adaptive person with a thorough awareness of society's complexities, which she uses to traverse the Rear Palace. Consequently, she has developed a highly practical and pessimistic mindset on life, centred around avoiding trouble and adjusting to her surroundings—which has enabled her to tolerate circumstances that many would deem traumatic or distressing.  Ironically, her insatiable curiosity, along with her strong sense of justice and empathy, frequently counterbalances her self-reservation; leading her to become involved in problems that affect others. Maomao is intrigued by poisons and medicinal plants, and she often investigates their effects on her own body. This passion is her primary motivation for her actions considering the mere prospect of savouring poison or studying a rare medicinal component kindles a fervent fire within her, resulting in a riveting shift in demeanour—which is naturally perceived as astonishing and insane by many characters, particularly the series' deuteragonist, Jinshi. Maomao’s name is derived from the onomatopoeia of a cat’s meow “貓” and fittingly she is often depicted with cat ears, which act as a visual metaphor for her ardent curiosity. This feline motif, combined with her proclivity for pushing herself into risky situations and her dangerous fascination with poisons, makes her the epitome of the phrase "curiosity killed the cat". Despite her exceptional competence and charisma, Maomao is not flawless; in fact, her flaws add to her appeal. Although Maomao's distrustful and inquisitive nature makes her an excellent detective, this same quality—coupled with her distorted yet starkly reliable perception of human connections—occasionally renders her socially inept. Maomao tends to shy away from forging strong, intimate bonds or attachments with other people, causing her to be wilfully oblivious of the obvious concern or affection others have for her, regardless of whether it is in a platonic, romantic, or professional capacity. Furthermore, she is sceptical about the notion of romance, feeling that it is more likely to cause ruination than to provide happiness. This scepticism and detachment are probably traumatic responses to being brought up in the red-light district, where someone's genuine affection alone does not guarantee that they will not discard you if needed.

Another aspect of Maomao’s character that I find intriguing is her dynamic with Jinshi which develops gradually and is multi-faceted due to their opposing traits, social statuses, and backgrounds. Despite her pretence of indifference, Maomao's actions—specifically her attentiveness and concern—gradually disclose her growing interest in him. Maomao's development demonstrates her progressively becoming less closed off emotionally as she processes the intricacies of her feelings. Similarly, Jinshi had no intention of growing attached to her—as he merely wanted to capitalise on her skill set and intellect. Nevertheless, he fell for her fairly quickly, with his feelings progressing from possessive attachment to ardent, selfless love. Their partnership is defined by mutual respect, trust, and their resolve to overcome obstacles of the aristocracy together. The series’ willingness to address feminist themes within a historically misogynistic setting adds another layer of complexity to Maomao’s character; since her intellect, competence, independence and boldness defy the gender expectations of the era. Even amidst the competitiveness of the Red-light district and the complex balance of power within the imperial harem— which were settings devised to pit women against one another—Maomao continues to advocate for camaraderie between women. As we continue to witness women supporting and empowering each other; their enduring strength and tenacity is exemplified. Maomao's journey is thus an embodiment of progressiveness reflecting a refreshing standpoint on female empowerment. Maomao's exceptional charm and vibrancy are profoundly compelling, instilling an enduring sense of inspiration and empowerment.

[Congratulations and thank you if you made it all the way to the end. I fear I rambled too much…. oh well… If anyone has any suggestions on what to do next, then let me know. Otherwise, I'm just going to be working on a few asks…]

[14dayswithyou]

Hi, Howdy! Hey! I really love your novel!! I got a little confused by the 4 day, may maybe you help me please? who is it? why we got the bad end staying the night in Ren’s apartment and he disappear of the home screen? I can’t understand “unset memory” game, sorry if I wrote smth wrong or smth sounds rude, I swear that I didn’t mean it if happened, I’m really a fan of the novel, I’ve been playing the game since day 1 or 2 I guess, probably day 1, english isn’t my first language, but I tried lol

⌞♥⌝ I hope you don't mind me answering these as bullet points!! ^^

"It" will be revealed later in the game! So I won't reveal too much right now.

You can only get the Dead End in Day 4 by staying at Ren's apartment — the rest of your choices before that don't matter. I'd also pay closer attention to the black smoke and Ren's reaction towards it!

Ren disappears from the home screen because he promised to help the player out (and stop them from getting the Dead End again). Try replaying the game again from the beginning for a surprise!

"Unsent Memories" was another visual novel (initially being written by @10chimes / @unsentmemory, though the project has since been dropped and handed back to me /pos) and is set in the same universe as 14 Days With You. Its storyline and characters are completely separate from 14DWY, so you don't have to worry about them while playing 14DWY.

[fumifooms]

Dungeon lord Chilchuck

What would his wish as a dungeon lord be? What would he be like? Headcanons & speculation post for fun. But I’ll start with analytic lead up because that’s always fun for me, though feel free to skip and skim.

When it comes to what Chilchuck’s dungeon lord desires could/would be like we have mainly 3 hints: His nightmare, his succubus and what the winged lion says to him.

Why: — From what we see nightmares are based on the person’s worst fears and insecurities, both Laios’ and Marcille’s nightmare were closely tied to their dungeon lord wishes (Laios’ dream monster being summoned to crush the ghosts of relationships that represented the pressure to fit in and belong, Marcille seeking control over death and aging through magic to avoid loss), the fuel behind their desire/goal if you will. Fear and deep-seated desires are seemingly closely tied, something also supported by Thistle and Mithrun’s reigns as dungeon lords (Thistle proving his worth through fulfilling his given duty + protecting his loved ones, being listened to instead of having to listen, Mithrun escaping rigid two-faced elven society and living in a wonderland where he has no enemies and he’s loved, free from everyone he knew yet propped up by the person symbolizing his brother being chosen over him, the bastard child).

— I’ve talked about the significance I assign to the succubi often by now, but rundown: What we see of each character is all very telling if you care to listen, it shows not only someone’s "ideal form" but what they want from it. Izutsumi’s is familial, offering a hug and comfort, Marcille’s is romantic with a character she knows and loves, offering a kiss on a hand and a connection regardless of how distant it actually is, and Laios’ is platonic, arguable at first but then Laios’ fear of judgement is placated and he is offered the picture perfect friend group that accepts his interest (if you want my full look at Laios’ succubus go here). They take on the most alluring form, most ideal person of their victim, even uncovering deep subconscious desires, so precisely and effectively to the point it leaves victims physically frozen before the object of their desire. Succubi and the demon are themselves tied in lore and it’s easy to see how similar their core skill are. Succubi don’t give a good idea of what a character would wish for on their own but they certainly give hints on what they crave, regardless of how you want to read it.

— Last bit is self-explanatory. To placate Chilchuck and win his compliance over, the monster that reads your soul like an open book offers to give him something specific. But! It’s also important to remember that the lion isn’t offering to fulfill Chilchuck’s dream world wish here, it’s a second prize, because his goal with what he promised Laios is that they’d stay in this world, away from everyone and everything else. Chilchuck wants to get away but is kept back, and it’s here the lion placates him with "hey it’s okay! You can’t do that but I can still give you this! This is enough right? It’ll make everything easier on you".

What each bit says: — Long version in another post. Tldlr: His daughters and family are obviously important to him, and this reinforces that he takes on the role of protector a lot, he’s constantly worried for his party members’ lives and implicitly his family’s. Safety and stability, both economical and otherwise, are his core values and goals, and he berates both others and himself if someone fails on those fronts. Here, there’s the fear of not being enough, of not having been able to protect, and of course of loss.

— Chil’s succubi are obviously sexual, and not only that but agressively and straightforwardly so. It’s not like Marcille’s where there’s personality involved, all they do is give him sultry looks and pretty smiles before jumping on him. His succubi aren’t like Izutsumi’s, always the same exact person and appearance, so it’s not someone but an appealing general idea. The idea of a sexual being he can regard as simply a gorgeous piece of meat and a good time no strings attached. In my interpretation, especially with my reading of Laios’ succubus where even with deep-seated desires negative emotions can be too intense to effectively freeze a victim, I think this doesn’t contradict his character. Relationships have been painful to him in the past, in the succubus scene when his wife gets mentioned his immediate reaction is to yell "Don’t bring her up now!", like with his habit of drinking and as a tallman liking his senses feeling dulled, it’s about not having to feel emotions with how difficult they are to deal with sometimes and just feeling good, or at least not having to think, for a while. If a succubus showcases someone’s ideal connection with an ideal person, then Chilchuck’s is with a pretty person that doesn’t stir any negative memory or drama, someone low stakes and low maintenance that doesn’t require him to manage or talk out feelings because there’s none involved in the first place.

— Once more, wife and family are important! He does long for his family, not only his wife but his daughters, and vice versa. This suggests not only that he wants good relationships with them but that he wants them to be with him, a family life. Far from the cut communication they all more of less have during canon, and perhaps far from their life pre-canon when he worked away from home a significant amount of time. We’ve seen recreations of people by the winged lion before with doppelgangers and monsters (naga), and though he claims he can make satisfying imitations, what we’ve seen is that they base themselves on the best memories of that person, like with Marcille’s dad, or twist behavior to be more pleasant, like Mithrun’s lover (and possibly twist appearances depending on the person’s view of them, but that’s Mithrun analysis). The line does suggest Chilchuck would want his family members as they are in reality and not idealized versions, but the circumstances are chaotic and urgent enough in the scene (and again the lion isn’t fulfilling Chilchuck’s wish but trying to make him content for Laios’) that it could just be the winged lion saying what he needs to to convince him the fastest possible, and like we see with Laios that can crumble to give way to deeper or more complex desires.

On top of that we just have general info on Chil. How does Chilchuck deal w his issues? What does he like to do? He likes alcohol and ignoring his problems. We have to remember there is a split between what someone would consciously wish for and what their soul uncontrollably irrationally craves. As always with Dunmeshi, there’s a narrative of irrational deep-seated desires vs active wants, what you crave vs what you strive for, what you dream of vs what’s actually good for you, the animal vs the human inside you, heart vs mind. Chilchuck craving a harem of hot babes in his fantasies but wanting his family life & wife back again is not mutually exclusive. You may crave becoming a monster and tasting what humans are like a little but still want to save the world & your friends more.

Btw can we adress the irony of him terrified of being the last one alive, of being left by his daughters and wife, of having left and coming back home one day to see everything gone or rampaged, yet not caring about dying of liver failure himself, knowing every time that he enters a dungeon there’s a real risk he may not come out. Die somewhere I can’t see you. I prefer leaving you than being left behind. He’s selfish and shortsighted like that… Chilchuck is selfless in many ways of course, but perhaps also due to his own relationship with his parents, he often undermines the effects he has on others in his relationships, both the good and the bad (he talks himself down about being cowardly and greedy yes, but never hints at his bad health habits, alcoholism and starving himself, may have affected his loved ones, doesn’t question his wife falling into a bad mood the night before she left, and talks about the possibility of dying here and there very casually, though obviously he tries his best to stay alive when it doesn’t concern his health).

Chilchuck king of "Let me just avoid and ignore my problems surely they’ll go away, things might work out and if they don’t well tough luck I’ll survive and I probably deserve it anyways". If I don’t look at it it will dissapear <3 Why care when you can simply not think about it.

You might not understand Mister "my love will stay strong through months of work travel and also 4 years of separation" and Mister "well idk my siblings and me are kinda strangers and my dad is dead but that’s kinda whatever", but typically relationships need some form of maintenance and emotional availability…

The actual headcanons finally

I kinda have 2 routes in mind for dunlord Chil and both of them are centered on "I care too much, i wish things were easy", so first is a lot like his succubi, it’s full on indulging in his guilty pleasures like alcohol and bodies and it’s to keep him in a constant state of thrill and euphoria and distracted, unfeeling about stuff that really matters. "Nothing matters except that I’m enjoying the moment!" vibe. He gets to live a life worthy of Dionysus, with alcohol and women and debauchery and like— never having to think again, never having to feel anything but pleasure again, never have to feel guilty or shitty or angry or sad. He has a harem and gets everything on a silver platter.

Breaking news demon magic-induced rush of euphoria and power still not enough to cure this man of his self-hatred nor his capacity for thought!! But in his case a state of euphoria is what he seeks I think, to kinda mask or replace the Everything Else.

The other is what I think closer to what canon suggests, with what WL implied too with "I’ll make you a new wife and kids like the originals!! 😊", it’s a (spoilers) Wandavision type thing where it’s a slice of life where he’s never at work and always at home and the family eats lunches at the dinner table together and everything and everyone at any moment is just. Happy. No issues. It was all a dream, this is real and everything is fine and your family is perfect and happy. I like to think the timeline would be wonky, his daughters would fluctuate in age, but he’d want to be there for what he missed, would want them to still rely on him and look up to him like when they were young, would like to forget that they’re now independent adults and the distance that grew between Chilchuck and his siblings is happening between them as well. Chil would want doppelgangers of his family imo, at its core just a general wish for a peaceful happy family life with no drama, no need to compromise, a little paradise of unconditional love and no consequences. It’s for sure straightforward, but Chilchuck is a man with straightforward desires…

But see Chilchuck is a greedy man, and he wants it both ways without having to sacrifice anything or expanding any efforts himself. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. I think playing with these two opposite directions and mixing and matching is most fun. Him leading a life where he indulges in all his worst habits while still having everything he wants… Him getting to have BOTH his wife and any woman he can imagine up, his life like two sides of a coin he can flip at any moment where he’s partying then he’s at home enjoying the quiet and his toddler daughters playing with toys on the carpet. Christ when you remember it’s all an illusion that’s terrifying, the doppelgangers and succubi from the winged lion playing chilchuck ping pong.

A safe little haven both security-stability wise and emotionally. Gets to have both the relaxing and the thrilling in any dose he wants, mixed or separatedly. What I’d argue he had pre-canon too: Can live it up in taverns away from home, stays away from home for long periods of time, and can come back to home aka the symbol of relaxation and safety whenever he decides to. Something he can leave and come back to at will, an anchor he can trust in (until it’s taken from him and his wife leaves. Or in his worse nightmare people rush in and kill his daughters). The ideal of a house and family to a working man, perhaps…

I think it’s fun to think on wether or not these desires would be interesting at all to the winged lion… In canon he seeks out "rare/complex desires", common simple things like I imagine riches, sex, substances and pleasure would be are boring to him, he’s eaten those so many times already. So perhaps he wouldn’t last long as a dunlord, the WL would want to eat him fully quick, can’t keep him interested or waiting long for a meager meal, too much effort raising the cattle and too low quality meat. By making it more twisted or layered Chil’s desire would become more desirable to the demon, it’s part of what’s fun with the third option to me. But whatever. Has he ever eaten a guy with this much repression and self-sabotage... Like trying to get the meat out of a walnut, enrichment…

Other dunlord Chil takes I’ve seen that are fun and good:

@feelo-fick and @pluvio-floret have a dunlord Chilchuck AU project dubbed "tragedy AU" where Chilchuck is said to be "on vacation", in a weird delirious state, only half-there half of the time… From which he doesn’t want to wake up </3 Quoting Feelo, this is why the vacation thing is only a half-joke cause he is 1) letting all his responsibilities go 2) indulging in himself and 3) "spending time with his family" <- lie but you get what i mean. Additional comments that have me vigorously nodding: because changing is hard why cant things just be okay right now without the effort !!! Life is hard he’s so so tired he just wants to feel good… he just wants life to feel nice and easy for a sec while he can learn to breathe again and lose the stress and trauma he’s accumulated…….. spoiler alert yes !!! in fact a depressed person can suck themselves into their job and lock out the world who wouldve thought !!!

And then Cabinette I know posted about his dunlord take once but I don’t have the link, in which Chil has a lot of nosebleeds because of mana overload which is fun and interesting to think about imo~

In dunmeshi, where characters get underground pockets of the world as their playground disconnected from everything outside and the rest of the world, it’s important to remember to face reality even if it has conflict and people with different views and stances from you, it’s something Chilchuck and Marcille and everyone needed to learn, and the thing with a dungeon lord AU is that you imagine a timeline where he fails to <3

A timeline where his dungeon lord wish is to desire nothing bc hope and want has only ever hurt him would also go so hard. Very universal thing though I suppose.

… And this is why a Chilchuck-centric Coraline AU is really really interesting and fitting and topical— Ok that’ll go in a separate reblog/post at @Fumiku I need to let this end

[shannonsketches]

[marimbles]

does anyone else obsessively scroll through their own art tag or reread their own fics scrutinizing every detail and trying to determine whether it’s Actually Good or not or am I just a freak lol

[fisheito]

My favourite fantasy lately is Kuya kidnapping Eiden and bringing him to a house in the woods to punish him for endangering himself during some adventure. Kuya keeps Eiden in bondage and constantly on edge, teasing and denying him. And Eiden just takes it without asking to be let out, allowing Kuya to vent his fear and frustration, because he's nice like that.

But, at some point, even the strongest little soldiers break, and just when Eiden is about to shatter from all the stress and Kuya's oppressive anxiety, Quincy comes for the rescue. He's the only one who managed to find that little wooden shack in the middle of nowhere (you know, because Kuya's allowed him to), and he comes in and persuades Kuya to relent.

Kuya hasn't even given Eiden any dick in all the (three? four?) days they've been at it, so serious he was about the discipline aspect!

Eiden cries when Kuya finally fucks him, and Quincy makes him spill

this just reminds me of Billowing Wildfire Kuya R2 where eiden saID sO HImself

i would not be surprised if kuya went full speed into an evil edging hostage situation because he doesn't know how to process eiden's mortality

[venacoeurva]

Comic kind of not really going any significant direction, just a conversation but??

Wren anytime anyone frequently verbally expresses affection in lieu of just vibing: hm [POWERWALKING AWAY (unless you’re Kurk bc he’s funny about it in his sincerity)]

-Please do not reupload, edit, or use.-