#love the preaching they liked to do about morals and making promises
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Says something really special about a company that they will lay you off as part of “restructuring” less than two months after your dad dies and the first day back in the office after Christmas.
#I mean I knew they were assholes but I didn’t think k they were THAT bad#love the preaching they liked to do about morals and making promises#yes in case you were wondering the were like a family here line has been said to me multiple times in multiple meetings#not the one where they laid me off funnily enough#total jackasses#I mean I was looking for a new job anyway but come on#anyway anyone need remote work done#asking for me
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Love me again, please
Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton x Fem!reader
Word count: 5.6k
Summary: After a few years, you cross paths with the last person you ever wanted to
Warning: I do not know where I was going with this story at the end so I apologize if it is a little over the place but you all get the gist.
A/n: I'm also posting after months of posting nothing. Very sorry about that but well, I lost the motivation to write, with that being said, Serendipity is on hold for the moment. I have the story planned out but I have no idea what else to write so the main scenes may connect in the end. So I'll be taking my time writing that. Also, I have no posting schedule because I know I won't follow through with it so I'll be posting when motivation hits and I have a fic finished. Lots of love to everyone who takes the time to read this xx.
Forgiveness.
An action that is difficult for human beings to execute. We live in a world that in which resentment , anger and revenge win over anything else. We let ourselves be carried away by the teeth of hatred, that we never take into account that action.
Forgiveness brings us peace and it brings happiness because not only are you forgiving the other person, you are forgiving yourself. Forgiveness is the biggest act of love in this world, and we just have made it complicated.
Although as much as you preach for people to forgive, you yourself, haven’t got it in you to forgive that one person that wronged you so many years ago.
Oh, how you hated him.
The one person that made you fall in love with him, that made you question your morals and break your dignity, allowing yourself to be used as if you were a prostitute from one of the brothels downtown.
He promised you his love, whispered sweet noothings in your ear as he made love to you late in the evenings, when everyone was asleep, telling you to give him more time so he could sort out a few things before making you his wife.
Oh, how you hated him.
Like a fool, you believed everything he promised you, hope blooming inside you at his words, that was all you wished for, to become his wife. But for the meantime, you were happy being his mistress.
If the only way to be with him until he sorted everything out was by being his mistress, hiding in the shadows, where no one was watching, you would take it, you would give yourself to him.
Oh, how you hated him.
That is, until one day, he left you without any word.
He came to your room one evening, you were patiently waiting for him, readying yourself for what you thought would be another night of pleasure.
That is until he arrived and broke your heart.
Told you how he could not be with you anymore and that he would not be coming to your room anymore. When you kept on pleading with him not to leave you, that is when he changed to saying cruel, cruel things.
Like how did you ever believe he would actually marry you, and that he was only with you for the pleasure filled nights you provided, that you were just an easy prey, foolishly believing everything he said. Those words succeeding even further on breaking your heart.
Oh, how you hate – loathe him.
Oh, how you loathed him
Oh, how you really really loathed him
Oh………
how you wished you actually loathed or even hated him.
Because that is the truth, no matter how much he hurt you, no matter how the words he carelessly threw at you engraved themselves deeply inside you, how he completely broke you, even then, you still could not find it in yourself to hate him.
“Your grace?” you snapped out of your thoughts, turning your head to the side, looking at the footman questioningly “We are here, your grace”
You thanked him quietly before looking down at the toddler sleeping on your chest, brushing the hair that was covering her face away, caressing her chubby cheeks.
“Love,” you murmured stroking her head lovingly. Little Amelia moved, shaking her head before burying herself further into your chest “It is time to wake up, darling. Were you not excited to see grandmamma and grandpapa? What about your cousins, Charles and Elizabeth? You were delighted that you were going to be able to play with them”
She instantly sat up, rubbing away the sleep from her eyes “Oh! Charlie and Lizzie! Mama!” she squealed, suddenly very energetic “They said they would show me toys their mama and papa brought them” She clapped her hands and hastily exited the carriage once the footman opened the door.
“Careful” you called out after her, grabbing the blankets you previously set out for her to sleep more comfortably
“Amy!” you could hear your mother’s voice exclaim as you put your feet on the floor and looked around “Oh, look how big you’ve gotten sweet girl!”
“And so beautiful too, just as beautiful as her mother” your papa added happily, bringing you into a hug
“mama, papa, it is so nice to see you” You greeted happily returning the hug before pulling back “has Ed and Ellie arrived? Amy cannot wait to play with Charlie and Lizzie” you ask
“Oh! Yes, they are just inside, come on Amy, let us go see your aunt and uncle” your mama urged grabbing on to your daughter’s little hand, your father offered his hand to you which you rejected, shaking your head
“You three go on ahead, I just want to breathe in a little bit of fresh air, those few hours in the carriage made me a little nauseous” you breathed out, they nodded before walking away and leaving you alone. You sighed, turning to look you at the sky, letting the sun soak into your skin.
It is crazy how fast time passes. It seems like it was just yesterday when you got your heart broken. It seems like it was just yesterday when after getting your heart broken, you decided to move on away from him and instead marry a dear friend of yours.
Jacob Thornwell was his name, the duke of Rosehill, you had met him through your brother as they had gone to Eton together and you become close friends, close enough to marry each other. It wasn’t a marriage out of love but you both cared deeply and respected each other. What more could you have asked for?
You married him because you were heartbroken and wanted to move on and not give that person the satisfaction of seeing you broken, and Jacob married you to escape his family’s complaints.
After a week of mourning over your lost love, you went to him and proposed the idea, he accepted and soon after you married. You were happy, or at least the most happy you could be after getting your heart broken, but everything changed when a few months later, you had little Amelia.
Your world changed after that day, after you held your sweet babe in your arms, after she opened her eyes, those eyes she inherited from her father. And when her little lips formed into a small smile, you knew you would do anything for your daughter, she was now the most important person in the whole world and you would protect her against everything.
You let out a deep breath closing your eyes, after a few moments opening them once again, you turned your head to the side, your body filling with dread when you saw a familiar person looking back at you from across the street.
Your heart started to race when he opened his mouth to say something starting to cross the street , you turned on your heel and entered your parent’s home, not letting him even say anything. You close the front door loudly and lean your body against it, holding your hands close to your chest, willing your heart to slow down.
“Y/n?” You hear your mama’s voice speak up, you turn to look at her, mustering up a smile “Are you alright, dear?”
“Yes, yes I am” you breathed out “I just thought I saw a bug, you know how I get when I see one” you let out a fake laugh, giving a shudder as If you were disgusted to make it more believable
Your mama nodded her head, not quite believing you but deciding to let it go “Of course” She then gestured to the drawing room “Come on now, your brother is anxious to see you” you now smile genuinely before following behind her
After greeting your brother, you were seated on a couch, looking at your daughter and her cousins playing happily in the middle of the room, a smile laying on your face, although that smile faded once you remembered your brief interaction, if you could even call it that, with that man across the street.
How dare he? How dare he look at you as if he was shocked you were in front of him, as if you were the one who had broken his heart and cut all contact with him after, how dare he even try to approach you after everything he did..... after everything he said?
What you would have given to know how he had felt in that moment. That moment when your heart was cracking into a million pieces, that moment where you were crying out for him not to go because you needed him. You wondered how he felt. Did it even hurt him as much as it hurt you? Did he feel that painful tug in his chest or the lump in his throat like you did? Did he even love you as much as you loved him?
You curse the day you met Anthony Bridgerton.
That man was your ruin.
You take it back.
You curse the moment you let your mama convince you to go to the ball Lady Bridgerton was hosting.
Not only because you had to leave Amy at home but because there was also a 50 percent chance that you could encounter Anthony Bridgerton at any given moment, and that was the last thing you wanted to do tonight.
“Fancy seeing you tonight” someone spoke up beside you, you look up, coming face to face with the last person you wanted to see.
Oh, just your luck.
“Lord Bridgerton” You uttered looking back at the couples dancing in the middle of the room
“Miss Y/n – oh, my apologies, I forgot you are now the duchess of Rosehill” he muttered unapologetic “Your grace,” he said sarcastically holding back a scoff, you look up at him once again, sending him a glare
After a few moments of silence, he spoke up “Are you not even going to say anything?”
You sighed angrily, the last thing you wanted to do right now was speak to him “There is nothing to speak about, Viscount Bridgerton”
He scoffed rolling his eyes “Surely you cannot be serious” he grabbed your arm and pulled you into an empty corridor after making sure nobody saw you both “Let us start with something simple, how about the fact that you married Jacob Thornwell when you knew damn well I did not like him”
“Excuse me?!” You scoffed angrily“Who I married is none of your concern”
“None of my concern?” He laughed humorlessly “None… of….my….concern?”
“Yes," you reply “None of your concern, you did not have any say in who I married and whether you liked him or not. Well, guess what? I did not care, not.one.bit” You snapped “ You were the one that left me! Might I remind you of that night when you came into my room and told me all kind of horrible things?”
“I-“ he tried to cut in
“No, no, let me speak!” you glare at him “You told me I was just an easy lay, you told me you didn’t ever have any plans of marrying me and were only looking for an innocent, naïve, foolish little girl who you could fool into sleeping with you. You told me I was a fool for believing everything you ever told me”
“Y/n-“
“Let me speak!” you breathed out harshly, Anthony went silent “Do you have any idea how horrible I felt? How broken I felt? You were the first man I was ever with, the first man who paid even just a little bit of attention to me. The first man I ever loved…. I really loved you, Anthony… I loved you so much that it consumed me entirely. And you left me” you chuckle emotionlessly “But do not worry, I feel nothing for you anymore”
“You seduced me, ruined me, and then left me. I gave you what I should have only given my husband, I was really lucky that Jacob was understanding because if not, I never would have been able to marry, god knows no one would want damaged goods” you shake your head “But I am also grateful, because you showed me how cruel men could be. You showed me how foolish I was for thinking you actually cared about me and you made me realize that I never should have loved someone as heartless as you” you scoffed and turn around, walking away from him, back to the ball
“Y/n, wait!” Anthony called out “Let me explain- y/n- let-“ you ignored him, whatever he was saying now drowned out by the music playing.
“Mama! Look!”
You turn to look at your daughter, she was pointing to a butterfly that was standing on top of a flower. You smiled at Amy, “Yes, it is very beautiful, sweetheart”
Amy smiled and ran to another part of the park “Careful,” you called out to her “And stay where I can see you”
You take a look around the park, looking for any signs of your parents but they seemed to be nowhere. You sighed and sit on a bench nearby where Amy was running around. You groan when you felt your favorite necklace become loose once again, falling down your neck.
“I should really get this fixed” you mumbled trying fasten it around your neck once again, all while you kept your eyes on Amy, making sure nothing happened to her before you felt a presence next to you.
You turn your head, finding Lady Bridgerton next to you with a smile on her face “Your grace” she greets “ It is so nice to see you after all these years”
“Lady Bridgerton” you greet her with a smile “It is so nice to see you as well”
“How have you been? How is your family?”
You smile “ They are fine, thank you for ask-“
“Mama!” You turn your head and stand up quickly when you heard Amy cry out for you. Your daughter runs to you and hugged your legs tightly “What is wrong, darling?” you ask worriedly, before pulling her away, making her look at you
“Look” She shows you her arm which was scraped, tears filling her beautiful blue eyes “I hit a rock and now there is blood” She sniffled
“Oh, now now, do not cry” you coo caressing her cheek. You look up at Lady Bridgerton, who was staring at Amelia with wide eyes, her face turning pale. Dread fills your entire body.
“I- Is that- She looks- what- A-“ She stuttered
“Lady Bridgerton” you cut her off “If you may excuse me, I must find my parents, it was nice seeing you again” you give her one last smile and walked away, holding onto Amy’s hand
You groan as you ruffled throughout your bedchambers. You looked through your clothes, under your bed, on your dresser, anywhere you could think of but you still could not find it.
You exit your bedchambers and head down the stairs to the drawing room. “Mama” you called out entering the room “Have you seen my necklace? I cannot seem to find it anywhere”
Your mama looked up from her embroidery “Have you looked in your chambers?”
“I have” you looked at her worried “but it is not there” you grumble sitting down next to her “I need to find it mama, that is the last thing I have of Jacob, it is really special”
She raises an eyebrow “Well, I seem to think the last thing you have of Jacob is Amy, is she not?”
You stayed still “I – yes, of course, but I mean the last materialistic think left of him” I reply
She hums “Well, now that I remember, I recall Lady Bridgerton saying she has your necklace and you could go over today if you desire”
Your face lights up “Perfect! I will go then” you walk away before stopping and turning back to her “Will you look after Amy for me, please, I will not be long” you smile when she nods and walk out of the house
You open the front door slowly, looking around before walking further in. “Lady Bridgerton?” you called out and enter the drawing room
You huff when you don’t see her inside “She is not even here, why did she say to come here today then? And why didn’t she just send me my necklace with a maid” you roll your eyes before turning around, stopping when you come face to face with Anthony
“Looking for this?” He holds out your necklace, you look down at the necklace before looking back up at him
“Why do you have it? Give me it” you held out your hand, gesturing towards your necklace
He shrugs “If this was so important for you, why did you lose it? Mother found your necklace lying on the ground in the park,” he chuckled “How careless of you. And I, like the good son i am, told her that I would give it to you, how sweet of me, right?” He smirked
“Give it to me” you demand, glaring at him
“Tell me the truth first” He shakes his head
You furrowed your eyebrows “What are you talking about? Give me my necklace, now”
“Tell me you have not forgotten me” He mutters “That you still feel something for me”
You swallow, your eyes flickering between both of his eyes before looking down at your necklace and then back at him “Give me my necklace” you decide to ignore his words, evading his eyes so he does not see how much he is affecting you
“Y/n,” he sighs “I love you” he blurts out, you start to feel a light sting on your eyes.
“What are you even saying?” you needed to get out of there, you cannot stand to be there any longer “You are speaking nonsense!” You step around him to walk away but he stops you before you could make another step
“Come on, Y/n” He pleads holding onto your arms
“Let me go” you demand trying to jerk out of his hold
“If you tell me the truth, I will let you go” He said softly, you ignore his words once more, looking down at your necklace in his hands
“Give me back my necklace or dont, either way I will leave” you stated angrily
“Tell me the truth” Anthony repeated “Tell me you have not forgotten about what we had, tell me you have not forgotten me, tell me that you still love me”
You narrow your eyes at him, chuckling humorlessly “ I do not have to tell you anything”
“Do not do this, Y/n” he sighs exasperated
“Do what?” you glare at him
“Do not do this”
“What should I not do?!” you exclaimed
“I am in love with you, Y/n” Anthony admits looking at you softly
You snort before chuckling and looking around “Love?” you turn to look back at him, he nods in response “ After all these years, you speak to me about love?” You shake your head incredulously
“What did you think? After all these years, you will come to tell me that you are in love with me and I will jump straight on to your arms, right?” You throw your hands in the air in disbelief “In all that time I spent with you, I'm sure you did not know what place I occupy in your life! You treated me like an object, was I your mistress? Your lover? Did you even plan on courting me or did you only want me to be someone you could tumble around in the sheets with? Oh! wait a moment, you did say you were only looking for a easy lay. And now you speak to me about love!” You scoff
He looks down in shame “I had so many things going around, Y/n, I was confused. I did not know what to do and how to do it. And- and I did not want to drag you down with me” you look at him in disbelief “But I have always been in love with you”
You clench your jaw and scoffed “I do not even know why I am talking to you about this” you uttered and walked around him “Let me go” you exclaimed when he pulled you back towards your spot once again
You look at his chest, not wanting to see him in the face as your eyes stung with tears. Anthony looked down at you and nodded “Then tell me you have forgotten me, tell me you do not love me anymore ”
You opened your mouth and then closed it before opening it once more to speak this time “I forgot you” you looked at him in the eye “ Is that all? I forgot you! I do not love you anymore” you affirmed once more
You step away from his hold “What did you think?! That I would wait for you all these years?! That I would act as if I was just waiting for you to decide you wanted me again, to jump back into your arms?! That I would revolve everything around you?! Do you still think everything revolves around you?! –“
He pulls you into a kiss, cutting off your words. You tense, not expecting what he just did. He kisses you for a few more moments before pulling back. You remained emotionlessly, your lips tingling from the kiss you just shared a few seconds ago.
“I’m sorry” you snapped back out off your trance to look at him “I have crossed the line, I am sorry, if you want we can talk” he sighs ashamed at himself
”I may not know much about love, and that is mostly my fault for not letting myself love, but I know a lot about you” Anthony voiced “ I know you like to look at the rain, sometimes you even let the drops grace your hand. I also know you adore looking at the stars, those little lights that make your eyes shine in wonder. And you like to get lost in your thoughts, in that mind so disastrous but philosophical at the same time. You are a riddle that at first sight is complex but when you get to know it, you discover that it is a wonder of the world”
You ponder over his words, looking up at his face before looking back down, wringing your fingers before looking back up at him once again.
You smile sadly “ I cannot forgive you, Anthony, every sweet word you say cannot take away all of the pain you caused me, and I am sincerely sorry if you thought that this encounter would turn out another way, one in which everything is forgiven and you and I could be the perfect picture family but I am sorry to disappoint you. I cannot forgive you, and honestly," you sighed “ I do not want to”
With that, you turned away,
“Y/n…” he mumbled, you stop once again “ Love me again, please” you let out a shaky breath shaking your head and walking away and this time, he willingly lets you.
You wipe your tears away furiously entering your home once again “ Y/n?” your mama comes out of the drawing room, she looks at your tear stained cheeks before looking into your eyes worriedly “What happened?”
Your lips trembled before you hug her, letting the tears fall silently “Oh, what is wrong my dear?” you shook your head hugging her more tightly
After a few moments you pull away, wiping under your eyes carefully, all while your mama is still looking at you.
She sighed before sitting down next to you “I will give you some advice and I hope you listen to it” your mama uttered, her eyes flicking over to the drawing room before she spoke “Cry what you have to cry and suffer what you have to suffer. Because everything is ephemeral in this life, everything gives way at some point and pain is not the exception. And if you have to scream, then do so, if you have to break down, then break down. Do what you have to do to start again, to be able to heal, to be able to be happy and to be able to live”
“Why are you telling me this?” you wonder confused as she stood up, grabbing your hand before she led you out to the garden, where you saw your daughter running around happily
She chuckles softly “Dear, do you really think I did not know about your affair with the viscount?” you stare at her wide eyed, speechless “Do you think I had no idea that you snuck him in every night on your first season? Of course I did know, you are my only daughter and I would be damned if I let you be hurt by anything.”
You went to make up something but she cut you off “ And do not make some excuse that it was actually you who snuck out because you went for morning rides on your horse because it is not even believable” your mama rolls her eyes “ I care for you and your brother, and now little Amelia, more than anyone in this world, even more than your father. I love my children and grandchildren, that is the reason why I never said anything to you or to anyone. I saw how happy he made you, I thought you hid your courtship because you did not desire the society's attention on you both and that you would soon inform us that you were together, maybe even engaged”
“Mama…” you whisper looking down
“But then that light I saw in your eyes faded, you would spend your days locked in your bedchamber's , and imagine my surprise when you announced a month after, that you were getting married to Jacob Thornwell” your mama let out a shaky breath “You do not know how heartbroken I felt to see you like that. So low spirited, that the girl that used to be so happy, laughed so much and had so much love to give, was gone in a matter of a day”
“And I do not know what happened between the viscount and you but I trust you and your decisions. That is why I still supported you when you decided to marry the duke even when you were not in love with him. It was not a marriage of love but at least it was one of friendship, one in which you had a beautiful daughter” she remarked
You smiled lightly “She really is beautiful” you looked at Amelia who went to sit on the swing, looking at a butterfly that was flying by
Your mama hummed “She really did get the best of you and the viscount’s features” once again, you were left speechless, your smile fading as she laughed once she saw your expression “Oh please, I did not for one second believe that you gave birth 2 months early because of some complications you supposedly had, and Amy looks a lot like the viscount, Lady Bridgerton can surely attest to that” she then walked away after dropping that bomb on you.
“Your grace”
You looked to your side “Oh, it is you again” you pursue your lips “You surely do not understand that I do not want you near me, do you?”
“Oh come on, do not be like that” you roll your eyes at his words
“ I am not being like anything” You grumble “ I am simply annoyed that you cannot seem to take a hint and leave me alone”
“Of course I can take a hint” Anthony huffs “I just simply choose not to accede to your desires” You scoff
“Such a nice person you are” you grumble looking away
“I never said I was nice" he tilted his head to look at you better
“I can see that” you said
“Mama!” Amy slammed on to your legs “Grandmamma said i can eat some of the sweets on the table if you allow me” You look down at your daughter “Can I please eat some?” Amy gave you a pout making you laugh
“Of course” you laugh before you turned at your side when you remembered who was next too you. Anthony was looking at Amy wide eyed
“She is – is she your daughter?” He asked you, you nodded, your heart starting to pound faster.
He knelt down to her height and extended a hand, smiling at her slightly “Hello” he greeted her when she turned to him “ I am Viscount Bridgerton but you can call me Anthony”
Amy smiled happily, shaking his hand “I am Amelia but my family calls me Amy” Anthony looked at you for a moment before turning back to Amy
“How old are you, Amy?”
“Amelia, sweetheart,” you cut in “Why do you not go back to grandmamma and eat those sweets you were telling me about?”
“How old are you, Amy?” Anthony asked again
“Amy-“
“5” Amy answered him happily, showing him five fingers. Anthony snapped his eyes towards you quickly when she answered
“Amy” you stressed out, Amy looked at you then “Will you please go to grandmamma now?”
She shrugged and skipped happily towards your mama who was already looking at you three, your mama gave you a look when her eyes met yours flickering her eyes to Anthony and back to you before smiling at Amy who was now next to her.
You sighed looking at Anthony, who was now turning pale “She – why did you – Y/n, I do not understand – is she my daugh –“you cut him off, grabbing his hand and pulling him to an empty room after making sure no one saw you.
“Do not say those things where anyone can hear you, Lord Bridgerton” you snapped
He chuckled humorlessly, his eyebrows furrowing as he clenched his jaw“She is my daughter” He stated
“ No, she is not” you denied “She is Jacob’s daughter” he narrowed his eyes at you
“Do not try to lie to me because I do not believe you”
“Well you must because that is the truth” you rolled your eyes at him
“She is five” he snapped angrily “She has my mother’s eyes, Daphne’s eyes." He looked around before leaning in closer “And you and I both know Jacob liked everything but women.” Anthony stepped back, clearing his throat “You can try to deny it all you want but the proof was right there in front of me” You stayed quiet “Why did you not tell me? Did you not think I deserved to know my daughter?”
“She is not your daughter!” You exclaim “ She is mine and she is Jacob’s, not yours” Anthony looked at you hurt
You both stared at each other silently, your chests rising quickly, heavy breaths escaping both of your lips. Anthony sighed walking closer to you, you swallowed, taking one step back with every step he took towards you.
“Why did you marry Jacob Thornwell?” He asked “Did you love him?”
You shook your head, deciding to answer with the truth “It was not love. I did not marry him for love, but for friendship” he looked at you confused
“You told me you would not marry unless it was for love-“
“Yes, well, things change do they not?” you muttered, he went silent.
“I am sorry,” He admitted quietly after a few minutes “I know whatever I say is not enough, and it will also not take away any of the pain I caused you, but I am truly sorry, please believe me, Y/n” he held onto your hands, you look down at your intertwined hands
He raised your chin with his hand, making you look back up at him. “I cannot defend myself because there is no excuse that can fix what I did to you, I, myself, do not know why I did that” he swallowed “ The only thing I can say is that i loved you then, and I love you now, and if you allow me, I can continue to love you for the rest of my life ”
“There is no one else I would rather have next to me, no one else I would rather love for eternity than the one person I have really loved my entire life. No one else than the mother of my beautiful daughter.” He caressed your cheeks “Say yes, Y/n. Let us have that life that I so stupidly threw away. Let me prove that I can truly make you happy. Let me love you”
You stayed silent before speaking up “I moved on with my life, pretending that nothing had happened between us.” You admitted quietly “But there were times when you crossed my mind, especially when I looked at Amelia” you then added “you caused my heart to explode by the simple memory of something that was. It is strange, to know that even with everything that happened, that love I held for you, the same one I still have for you, never faded” his face started to light up with his words. A small smile appearing in his face.
“Does that mean you will…..”
“I do not know if I will regret this, but I have not stopped loving you. I- Anthony- I promise you, do not make me regret this or else I will really murder you” You grumble
Anthony laughs happily before pulling you into a kiss, his lips moved against yours softly, testing the waters, as if to make sure you won’t pull away before he started to kiss you more passionately. His hands pulling you close by your waist as you wrapped your hands around his neck, kissing him back just as passionately.
“I won’t” he mumbled onto your lips “If so I give you permission to murder me willingly”
You hummed before pulling away“Just let me love you before that happens” you smile.
#anthony bridgerton x reader#anthony bridgerton x y/n#anthony bridgerton x you#bridgerton imagine#bridgerton x reader#anthony bridgerton#bridgerton x you#benedict bridgerton#eloise bridgerton#hyacinth bridgerton#violet bridgerton#daphne basset#daphne bridgerton#gregory bridgerton#francesca bridgerton#colin bridgerton#lady danbury#lady whistledown
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Last time I'll address this I promise
There are people who are currently lecturing fans of Angeal because he's a "hypocrite" and a "coward" who acted irrationally in an instance/instances of emotional instability and like???
Genesis killed his parents and triggered his best friend into a mental breakdown????
Sephiroth burned down a village of completely innocent civilians and aimed to commit a mass genocide of the human race????
Where the hell does the line blur where it's okay for Gen and Seph to do horrible things but not Angeal? Angeal is a flawed character and dished out some (unintentional) damage to outside parties, yeah. But CC never once positions him as being in the same morally questionable league as Genesis and Sephiroth.
It just sounds like blatant selective favoritism because (for some reason) Angeal pisses you off. Angeal's a clunkily written character who is given some of the dumbest lines in CC but it's not like Genesis and sometimes Sephiroth don't also fall into that bracket. They do. Frequently. Genesis probably most of all. I love the character to pieces but I'm not going to sit here and pretend that he couldn't use a bit of a rewrite to make him more palatable.
I really wish people would just act like adults and think about the things you're saying. Because you can't preach against fandom/character policing one minute and then rant about Angeal fans the next pretending we're ignorant and media illiterate. You just don't like Angeal. Which is fine. It would be better if you just said that instead. Doesn't change the fact that most people are hyped AF at FS for including him. I'd rather fans be happy at the end of the day. We desperately need that right now.
#asks#ff7#ffvii#final fantasy 7#sephcanons#crisis core#sephiroth#genesis rhapsodos#first soldier#angeal hewley#final fantasy vii#PSA#ffvii first soldier#Fandom#ever crisis#ffvii ever crisis
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I don't know if you can answer this question, but if it's OK I want to ask for your opinion on the claim that Disney's Beauty and the Beast (1991) sends the message that women and girls should stay in relationships with men who display abusive tendencies in the hopes that their love will change them?
I remember reading a ton of articles arguing against this, which I agree with generally, but at the same time it can't be denied that Beast does do things like screaming, making threats and acting out violently by destroying furniture which would be seen as abusive irl, but at the same time it's understandable because of his circumstances.
The movie makes a point that without human contact except for his servants, Beast has become more "feral" and forgotten how to be human, and he and Belle bond over teaching him manners, like the scene at the dinner table where she teaches him how to eat porridge.
I also want to argue that the point of the movie is to hold Beast responsible for how he acts despite his sympathetic backstory: during his and Belle's shouting match when she is treating his injuries, he tries to shift the blame on to her for running away, but she replies that she wouldn't have done so if he hadn't frightened her, to which he doesn't reply back, acknowledging that she's right.
Because of this I believe the argument (which I commonly see on certain social media posts) that BATB teaches girls to accept abusive behavior from their partners to hold little water, and at best misses critical nuance.
I would like to receive opinions on what I said.
There was a really good video essay about this very topic that I would link except I'm pretty sure tumblr wants to hunt the woman who made it for sport. So instead I'm going to pull a James Somerton and just plagiarize the points it made to the best of my hazy recollection.
Belle consistently stands up for herself and holds the Beast to task whenever he acts like a dick in the movie. All of his tantrums and screaming and, well, beastly behavior, she calls him out on it and refuses to take his shit. His most violent outburst actually prompts her to leave the castle, regardless of her prior promises - she refuses to stay with the Beast if he acts like a monster.
She only begins to like him when he actively and purposefully changes his ways - when he admits he fucked up and apologizes, when he goes out of his way to change his behavior for the better, when he takes her feelings into account and does things purely for the sake of making her happy. The whole movie is about the Beast changing into a better person - about him going from a spoiled brat who acted like a monster to a good man with a monster's body. It's a very simple redemption arc told in a way that children can understand it.
And anyone who's been on the internet, ESPECIALLY tumblr, knows that the reading in-comprehension crowd fucking HATES redemption arcs and will always, always, ALWAYS find the most bad faith reading of them they can and preach it like gospel. The Beast had some bad behaviors that, yes, were abusive and wrong. To a moral puritan who cannot abide a world with any nuance, that means he is EVIL and can never be anything but EVIL because once you're EVIL that's it, you are forever fallen and wicked and beyond grace, and for a story to say that an EVIL person can realize why they were wrong, work to improve themselves, and find love once they've become a better person is irresponsible and, indeed, EVIL, because it makes children think that EVIL people might not always stay EVIL, and if that was true then, well, we'd have to reconsider our own treatment of EVIL people, and then we might realize we'd been acting a little EVIL ourselves, and we can't abide that, can we?
So yeah I don't really take the people who claim the Disney movie is about glamorizing abusive relationships seriously. They're incapable of reading the text of a movie designed for six year olds, their opinions are invalid.
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did you say….a power rangers x td au?
IVE BEEN TRYING TO MAKE ONE BUT HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO THANK YOUUUUUUUUUU I owe my life to you power rangers was the shit
please yap about it I’m begging
IT CAME TO ME IN A VISION EARLY ONE MORNING, AND IT HASN'T LEFT MY BRAIN.
I am writing a fic about it, though it isn't my number 1 priority wip atm cuz its just smth silly and self-indulgent, but because I now know there's someone out there REALLY DIGGING THIS IDEA, it'll be moved up on my list by a few notches lol
This AU is heavily focused on comedy and action, so rather than assigning TD characters to PR roles that they'd actually fit, I went with what would be REALLY FUNNY to write about.
So the Rangers consist of Harold (red), Duncan (Black), Noah (blue), Courtney (yellow), and Heather (pink).
These guys were assigned to work on a lab/project for their science class, specifically on the effects of pollution, littering, and climate change. No take-backsies, they're stuck with eachother and 4/5 of these guys don't want to fail... 4/5 of these guys are also assholes.
After some healthy doses of bitching, they agree to meet up and study an abandoned rig. But GASP! They get attacked by some guys... made of putty? Damn dude that's CRAAAAAAZYYY
... this is specifically based on the MMPR tv show, and I'm very tempted to draw the putty monsters exactly like how their costumes look in the show (silver fullbody suits with seams visible and monster claws/masks.) Listen, the putty monster costumes bring me A LOT OF JOY, I genuinely love this show dO NOT @ ME (unless its for mmpr fanart... please @ me...)
Anyways, these assholes fumble through the fight: Harold shows off the skills he learned at Defensive Steve's Defense Class, Noah gets thrown off a small cliff because he weighs less than a paper weight, Courtney feels the exciting rush of bloodlust for the first time... Normal stuff, really!
Of course, this ends up with all 5 of them being summoned (lazer kidnapped) to Power Rangers Headquarters! And it's revealed that Zorgon's role was taken by Chris McClean I'm SORRY. Look, it's funny. He has the same personality he does in canon, but instead of running a reality TV show centered around teens, he has to babysit a small group of teens who hate eachother. This will be really funny in execution, I promise.
Some of the kiddos have a few words to say about the Dinozords... cuz half of them aren't even dinosaurs. Also, they do NOT like the idea of being forced to work together on a color-coded superhero team of all things!
Drama Bot is Alpha, it focuses on the team's publicity ratings.
Rita Repulsa? Meet Blainely McBlamey!! SELF EXPLANATORY!!
I love Rita Repulsa, so Blainely fans consider this a very high honor.
The Green Ranger is Alejandro.
I plan on having the AU mostly focus on campy episodic adventures with some character development sprinkled in, and having the more important PR plots be... well... important and more thoroughly executed, if I ever get around to it.
As for the main gang themselves?
Harold is quite stoked and honored about being a superhero, and quickly ends up being the team leader and team morale – due to his smarts, and quick-to-forgive personality. He doesn't take shit from anyone, but he also won't hold grudges, especially on the battlefield... Though he does have a slight problem with going on long tangents about certain factoids (same...)
He has a vast array of skills and knowledge at his disposable... It all depends on how/when he uses said skills lmao. So far he's probably the least developed one in this AU, right next to Duncan. That'll change when I write more of them.
Courtney? Oh... Oh you KNOW she likes being a Power Ranger. She preaches about the importance of morals, and upholding laws, and how some people ought to respect the responsibilities that come with being a Power Ranger... and some people are more deserving of being recognized as heroes than others. Courtney I love you and I hope I do you justice... mwah... She very much likes taking the lead, and claims that she should be the team leader... and valedictorian, and class president... Oh yeah, you KNOW she worries about her grades a lot, especially after becoming a Ranger. She becomes a lot more productive with her passion as the story goes on, and learns to trust and respect her teammates.
Noah takes on the role of reluctant tactician... Aka the smartass. Physical activites aren't his forte, and he plans on keeping it that way. He relies on his Zord the most, and when that isn't available he resorts to evasive maneuvers and hiding while the other guys handle it. Him staying on the sidelines, however, does lead to him being more observant to the enemies' weaknesses, which will eventually lead to him having a more active role in the team as the main tactician. I'd imagine once that happens, he'll have a lot of interesting back-and-forths with Harold and Courtney. Still a sarcastic, laidback asshole, but more active in his participation when it comes to the team.
Duncan... is more aligned with his season 1 and early season 2 personality. No cheating or love triangles here. He is still an ASSHOLE, though, especially to Harold and Noah. They don't take his shit. I dont have much to say about him yet iM SORRYYYYYY
Asshole punk with a heart of gold... that's his schtick alright...
HEATHER MY BELOVED. She looks hella good in pink and she knows it. She doesn't like being a part of this team, but by god will she put the effort in, because she doesn't want to die to some clay-freak. Her zord-buddy is the pterodactyl, which she finds to be quite convenient, considering it's on the smaller side and can fly, very easy for aerial advantage. Very hellbent on defeating Blainely McBlamey, because once she's defeated they can all go on with their lives. Presumably... evil grin...
I don't know how to really put it in more fancy words, but like... Heather is the most active participant along with Harold and Courtney. She's very headstrong, tends to butt heads with Courtney a lot (not only are they both stubborn, but they also both view themselves as the leader of the group. Nobody realizes it's Harold, not even Harold himself, dramatic irony at its finest.)
Everyone on the team loses their shit when Alejandro (the enemy[tm]) gets a frickin' DRAGON-ZORD of all things.
If yiu have questions about specific characters or MMPR episodes, I'll do my best to answer lol
#maja needs to shut up tag#ask#anonymous#mighty morphin power campers au#total drama au#td au#total drama#td noah#td duncan#td harold#td heather#td courtney#mighty morphin power rangers
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Why Vulnerable People Are the Church’s Favorite Targets
Easter came and went, and as always, this is a time when I remember where I came from and who I am now.
For those who don’t know, I was raised in an Evangelical family and used to be very devout. And this year, thanks to the rise of Conservatism we’re living through, I keep seeing more and more content from born-again Christians—and these terrify me profoundly. Why? Because I know for sure these are desperate and broken people being taken advantage of by an institution that will exploit their pain and use them for its own goals.
First, yes, I am an atheist—but even as an atheist, I have no problem with people finding faith and purpose in life. If that makes life meaningful for you and it doesn’t hurt others, it’s not my concern. However, contrary to what society preaches to us, the Christian world has its own fair share of problems and dangers. Unless you grew up in the church, you are completely defenseless against them.
So this is just a quick PSA for vulnerable and marginalized people—LGBTQ people, poor people, people with mental health issues—the types of people the church targets the most.
Being Approached by the Church
The first thing you need to know is that the church is not outright malicious, but it is ruthless and cruel. You can’t ever fully trust them—never. They don’t operate by the same morals as you and me. Their goal is to convert as many people to Jesus Christ as possible, by any means necessary. At heart, they believe they are doing good—and that’s the danger.
For them, anything is justifiable if it's done in God’s name. They will outright lie, deceive, and trick you. They target people who are the most desperate or not in their right mind because it's easier to manipulate and literally brainwash them.
When it comes to Christians, never let your guard down. Always ask questions. Never fully accept their kindness and love at face value. There’s a reason why churches and cults often use the same recruitment tactics.
The Church's Promises
The second thing is to be careful with their promises. Becoming a Christian will not solve all your problems. As someone from a Christian family, I know from experience how much they hide their mental anguish and trauma while pretending everything is okay. Becoming a Christian is not a path to perfect happiness.
It’s all about denial—and hoping that God will eventually fix everything. If something goes wrong, you ignore it and move on; if something goes right, you thank God. That way, God is always protecting you, because he’s never held responsible for anything that goes wrong.
From my experience, what they call God is just their intuition and common sense, externalized and otherized so much that it becomes almost like a second personality in the back of their minds. It’s no different than an imaginary friend they created because they feel really alone most of the time.
Also, they always move the goalposts. When you’re outside the church, they act like you can only be truly happy if you join them. Once you’re in the church, they act like you have to endure immense suffering to prove your love for God—and only then can you find happiness. It’s a form of manipulation they don’t even realize they’re doing.
Being Part of the Church
Third: once you become a Christian, you die. Or rather, the old version of you dies. That’s how the ritual of baptism is meant to work. What they want is for you to kill your old identity, become exactly like them, and obey their every command—adopting all their values. You are not supposed to ask questions or deviate from what’s established. You no longer have your own identity. Remember: you kill it during baptism.
Some pastors act as if they own you. In some denominations, the pastor will even threaten you using God's authority:
“Saying, Touch not mine anointed, and do my prophets no harm.” —Psalm 105:15
Many pastors use this verse—and others like it—to say that if you dare to criticize them, God will punish you.
And it’s not just the pastor—it’s the other church members too. They will ostracize you and openly criticize you if you deviate too much. Some will backstab you if it means climbing the church hierarchy.
The Church's Politics
Fourth: It’s never just about the Bible. They don’t just want you to agree with them religiously—they want you to agree politically as well. I praise progressive churches because they fight an uphill battle. Christianity at its core is a deeply conservative religion.
They don’t just brainwash the desperate and needy into believing their dogma—they indoctrinate them into their politics, too.
You have to believe that trans people don’t deserve legal protection, or else you’re offending God. You have to vote for Donald Trump, or else you’re letting Satan win. You have to allow Israel to kill as many Palestinian children as possible, or else we’ll lose our Bibleland.
It’s not about “hating the sin, loving the sinner” with these people. It’s about using the government to prevent people from choosing sin, and brutally punishing those who already have.
No matter how much they preach “Free Will,” they don’t want you to have the freedom to do anything that might upset them.
And if you are a Christian reading this, I’m sorry. These are just my observations from being raised as a Christian and still living in a Christian family.
I don’t want anyone to abandon their faith in God. I just want people to ask questions. Do these people really speak in the name of God? Does God really want this from me?
Believe me, I know for a fact that if God is real, then he must want smart, decent people to spread his word—not useful idiots who are easily manipulated by any false prophet that appears.
@thealmightyemprex @ariel-seagull-wings @the-blue-fairie @mask131 @princesssarisa @tamisdava2 @theancientvaleofsoulmaking @storytellergirl
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God, your Asulili analyses are so insightful, you're right about Asuka not being a hero and sticking to what she knows, she has a very simple moral view of the world now that I think about it. I would love as an Asulili fan to see Lili get hurt by Reina and Asuka rage over it, Reina having the devil gene and Asuka being one of the few who can suppress it seems like a convenient way for them to become enemies plot wise (you're right, they wouldn't be rivals, just enemies).
Exactly lol, Asuka's got a little kid moral understanding of there's good guys who do good things like beat up bad guys, and bad guys should just stop being bad by not doing bad things. It's the exact thing she preaches to people right after either intimidating them through reputation or after beating them within an inch of their life. People (including the beautiful @scalproie and their beautiful big mind) have said Kazuya at his core is just that scared five year old little boy who wants to make sense of things and have his freedom from being hurt or controlled by amassing power enough to stand alone. Asuka is just as much a little girl who thinks she's strong enough to handle anything and make anyone see her way by force and power, if they don't then they're the stupid ones. That this makes her strong and good.
I see that as a reason why Lili can make her uncomfortable; Lili doesn't act like Asuka's definition of a "bad guy" that she's used to ie. Gangsters and delinquents. Lili is sly and clever and seemingly random in her whims and plans, she doesn't have an obvious I'm A Bad Guy I Do Bad Thing To Everyone signal and she only seems directly invested in Asuka, not hurting and doing the same to others.
The way she presents herself around others in 8 only reinforces the way she treats Asuka is unique to Asuka. And that someone who says she's nervous under pressure, who cheers people on from the sidelines, who acts silly in front of cameras, who praises others for protecting her (which is a HUGE step up from the hard won Congratulations she gave Sebastian in TT2) who tries to sound morally correct when I doubt she has much genuine interest in cultural appropriation (and if she does she only mentioned Asia and where does Asuka live, what culture is Asuka, you see), who rushes to make herself useful, who is STILL trying to keep her dad from seeing her fight in order to protect him and herself from consequences- that person goes almost out the window around Asuka. That person is replaced with someone bold and witty and self assured and teasing and hauty and battle hungry who enjoys the pressure among other things.
Even in the non canon Tag 2 where Lili technically involved others in what she was doing she didn't do so in a way that would hurt them because of her direct involvement, it wasn't personal nor was it deadly it was precise, calculated- she knows Asuka won't kill people and Lili was going to come in her limo to redirect the violence toward herself anyway before it could get out of hand.
She got people involved who she knew ASUKA would have no problem hurting. She presented Asuka a staged scenario promising compensation and that it was all stunts because she knew she just needed to dress people up in a way Asuka thinks makes you worth attacking,and she got exactly what she knew would happen.
It's still a bad thing to do but she did it knowing the thing that would do the hurting was already someone who has zero problems hurting whoever fits her description of a target. What does that mean to fight Lili then, if she's not a social threat? That would be admitting this entire game in Asuka's mind has no point beyond justification to hit people for the sake of it, and or for some loose fulfillment of the Kazama ideals on protecting others.
Pretty much. The ideal way with Reina here would be giving Asuka her cleanse powers finally (I don't think she needs an angel form but Jin didn't really either and well lmao so they probably would give her one) serving not only to protect Lili and others she cares about but as accepting the Kazama of her heritage in order to do so, compared to Reina who accepted the Heihachi part of being Mishima. The part that wants to kill and destroy for self gain without mercy, merit, or humanity.
It gives contrast as much as Jin vs Kaz had or was supposed to have filled in if the writing were more fleshed out. And the actors here are just as morally grey in their reasoning for doing the good thing or the evil thing, because Reina as much of a prick as she is, IS operating under vengeance, which can only come from a sense of personal pain and loss.
They could also have Asuka not get any powers aside from her increased strength and whatever's going on with the wind in her moves now. This is just as interesting if not more so to me because it'd literally be Normal Guy Outsmarts Demigod for Annoying Her. It would involve her relying even more so on her allies for it to work, meaning she would have to finally have a conversation with Jin and Jun among others to settle in some way what they've done to her or what their absence meant. It would force a build on her relationships to have any chance of succeeding. It's the longer route to self acceptance through others.
As SF X T gave us a sample of though if you hurt Lili even if it's Lili's own fault things escalated you will, uh, be visiting the emergency room.
Rest in Piss Reina, doubly so if she threatened anything and anyone else important to Asuka

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okay so like. theres a part of me that wants to say smth like 'after all his promises and morals, vash just kills knives? whats the point then!' but. ive been left FLOORED and still think its really good so lets think about this some more. like its not unsatisfying at all; let me figure out why. this might get a little stream of consciousness
i think the penultimate episode where vash struggles to come to terms with having killed legato is crucial here. he comes into the episode shaken; no one has the right to take the life of another, regardless of what they do, he's stopped living up to rem's ideals, he's killed a man and even though legato was a killer, even though milly and meryl and the townspeople would have died if vash hadnt killed him, theres smth in vash thats screaming out that its NOT RIGHT. that its a mistake. but then vash ackowledges that, and its through making the mistake that he finds his peace with what he's done; everyone makes mistakes, and as long as you keep trying to do better next time, youre still okay. and like.... that on its OWN still doesnt sit right w vash killing knives, but hold on! theres another layer
because whats REALLY important here i think is that vash is acknowledging that hes ALLOWED to make a mistake. and i think something much much deeper clicks here; this is the point where vash shifts from 'plant/superior being who preaches kindness, can always find another way out, and refuses to break his morals' to 'human who can and does make mistakes, and isnt any better than anyone else.' for as much as vash loves humanity and has tried to live among them, theres been heavy themes that hes NOT one of them throughout the show, even before its more explicitly revealed. humanoid typhoon. angel. plant. act of god. knives is so clearly out of touch with humanity, and embraces it, but vash is just as bad; hes just trying to pretend hes human. half his smiles are fake. his haircut is one rem gave him. one of his arms is a prosthetic and the other turns into a plant gun that destroys cities overnight and puts a hole in the moon. he doesnt BELONG.... until he does!
going back a step further here. wolfwood is absolutely crucial. he's an ideal example of the worst kind of human (and theres some deep heavy symbolism of him being a priest, the ambassador to a higher existence that speaks with the angels on behalf of humanity), he has killed time and again, he shoots a child to protect his own. vash cant understand him, until after he's already dead and vash has to shoot legato. wolfwood was a crutch for him, making the hard choices so that vash didnt have to, but he also becomes the model that vash follows, because even after everything else, vash FORGIVES him. vash recognizes that wolfwood was following his own morals, protecting his own people, and was able to grow and change and love in ways that prove that he was still, to the end, a good person. and if vash can offer that forgiveness and salvation to wolfwood without question, then it follows that he can offer it to himself, as soon as he stops acting like he should somehow be better than the rest of humanity
and all that on its own, with just the death of legato, is a very very good arc. so why does vash still need to kill knives afterwards? well..... because trigun is also a story about abuse. its about brothers who love each other so so much, but one of them uses that love to convince the other that the two of them are special, that the whole world besides them should die, that if vash would just sit tight and LISTEN to him then everything would be okay. a brother who cries like a child when vash dares to rebel against him, who insists vash is a fool playing games for leaving him and trying to save everyone else. vash spends the series following rem's final command: take care of knives. he cant kill knives, cant even hurt him, cant do anything to stop him when knives has been wiping towns off the map, because deep down knives MUST be good, there MUST be something worth saving, and vash is the Only One Who Can Stop Him. who can protect him. who can take care of him. and thats.... vash's way of seeing himself as the special little boy, the protagonist of the story, the Superior Being he keeps pretending he isnt. so OF COURSE when vash acknowledges his humanity and the fact that he just... cant do everything, hes able to see that actually, he cant fix knives. maybe no one can. and even if someone could, it would be a long time of people hurting before it happened. and vash can do something now to save those people and free himself from the cycle of abuse, so he does
and man. fuck. the shows been telling us from the beginning that vash is just some guy. we spend four or five episodes with no confirmation that he actually IS vash the stampede. he acts like a side character in his own story. its only when meryl starts to believe he's someone special that the audience starts to see it, and fittingly, its meryl speaking in his defense with the words 'no one has the right to kill anyone else,' as if shed say the same thing about anyone else, as if its not just that its VASH that drives her to defend him; thats when vash's humanity becomes real
anyway good show
#it me#trigun#trigun spoilers#vash the stampede#millions knives#legato bluesummers#nicholas d. wolfwood#meryl stryfe#rem saverem#im like. actually obsessed#this might be my favorite show now#also as someone who has now seen 98: i think the animation and fight scenes in stampede are cool#and they make some interesting choices and go in some cool directions w some things#but the overarching themes are just. not there lmfao#emotional impact sometimes is but things are left v unsatisfied
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I love to imagine how baffled he would be by what I'm really into, knowing how set in my morals I am.
He knows I'm into Misogyny, but not control. He doesn't know his riot girl partner, so feminist and punk, is actually turned on by having my bodily autonomy ripped from me.
- sometimes I imagine him dragging me by my hair, shoving the back of my head against the wall and slapping my face until I tell him what I was thinking hanging around a group of drunk men. Then, crouching down to wipe away my tears. Asking me to apologize and promise to be more careful the next time he lets me leave his sight.
He knows I'm into CNC, but does he know how I like to be manipulated? How much I advocate for communicating in a relationship but want him to take advantage of my maleable mind and all its mental issues.
- There's no way I couldn't want him to use me, I'm obsessed with him. I told him myself, he's my favorite person, and I don't want him to leave me over something so trivial. Giving him my body is the best I can do for him. It's all he asks of me. In return, he stays with me no matter how hard it gets.
Does he realize that no matter how independent he lets me be, he can make me rely on him so easily? I preach trust but would allow him to make rules for my day to day life for his own comfort.
- See, I know I want to go to the bar again, but he doesn't want me to go until i learn my lesson about how mean men can be. So I have to stay home, on my knees with my head resting on his lap. I'm not done apologizing, I have to look sorry. He needs to remind me how pathetic I am so I don't put myself in danger once more, Then maybe, He'll take me to the bar and let me scream at misogynistic men again. They'll have no idea how much control I give a man over my life.
He really doesn't know how far this lifestyle goes for me. Being a punk is everything, but the second I come home from my hole in the wall metal bar, I belong to him, and only his morals matter. I am his, and only his wants matter. He is My Master, and I want to mindlessly obey his every whim and command.
#bd/sm kink#nsft cnc#nsft dubcon#cnc cw#cnc k!nk#rough cnc#bd/sm blog#bd/sm community#18+ mdni#bd/sm brat#cw bd/sm#cw cnc mention#cw kink#tw cnc mention#tw bd/sm#bdsmrelationship#bdsmplay#bdsmkink#bdsmlife#bdsmblog#bd/sm bunny#abuse k1nk#abvse me#mdni#manipulate me#k!nk blog#r@pe kink#free use kink
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Masculinity thoughts
A poem about the experiences of a man in today's society
Hey Little man
Do I have news for you
There is a world around you
That wants to eat you
Yes you will get reward
For carving at yourself
But the privilege is at price
And you must sacrifices your health
This little boy you are
Will be moulded into man
With benfit and boon
Just as long as you can
Hold inside yourself hatred and contempt
For all those beneath you
What is different is to die
What is opposite abhor
This little man inside you will one day be no more
The feelings that construct you know no little peace
My little man the world is yours to eat
Yet, as I said in past
Lives like yours aren't lived true
this will surely last
Now for an inexhaustive list
Of those at your throat
Men as a class
Will shove wealth into your lap
Yet burden you with responsibility
For Sins of fathers past
You will be blamed for everything
By those within your camp
Women will fear you
You must simply accept that
Because you get reward
You cannot refuse
Young man you aren't a victim
Even if you subsumed
Yourself in hatred for your own life
Those within your social group will preach
There is little to dislike
But behind that mask they weep like you
And yearn for an easier life
And those women you harm
By living as you were told
You will yearn from them appreciation
But not wish to tear out what is left of your soul
As a class they hold their own sins
In this prison of delight
For Gender is both your jailour
And the sentence is life
My my little man
Do not weep alone in fear
I have more to inform you
So listen here
That wealth that they promised
Won't be yours
Because a man above you is your slaver
And boss is his name
By capitals conscious Hill
You will toil alone
With no love for you innately
Make money or die alone
Little man your wants and dreams now
Seem ever far to reach
And you wish to hate your jailour
So you begin to preach
Misogynistic rantings painted in shit
On the walls
When women are your cell mates
Not those who you should call
Slut , bitch or bimbo
When you yourself do know
You are a subject of society
And your crimes aren't just your own
Your personal responsibility should still grow
For my little man you must know
That each action against her
Within this cell of yours
Does nothing but to strengthen
The mortar on the walls
Yet you ask to me
What are you to do
When she places restriction onto you
When she uses the chains
That shackle you to hell
To whip you in your side again
To pressure you to change
But be toxic in the right way
The one she wants the same
Because her jailor demands of her
Though she plans escape
two factions within her compete for your contempt
Young man one hatches escape plans
The other wants to wring your neck
Just as you are conflicted
Little man I know
But this is what life hands you
Listen to me so
When you reach the age of action
Fight the world please
Break us all from our prison
Bring our slaver to his knees
Be better than those which have held the globe
And convince those chained around you
To repent sins their own
Equality is your duty
And friendship is your goal
Bash at toxic miasma
And do not sell your soul
To the those around you
Who would wish to raise you weak
In morals and duty
The lions within you seek
Easy explanation little man
So heed my words
Nothing is ever easy
But contempt should not be heard
This labour is expected
But love should owe you be
Not for being a good person but simply to be
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Why Hardcore Religious People End Up Being Lowkey Racist, Sexist, and Homophobic
Ok so i've been thinking about this for the day and I have a theory.Have you ever wondered why so many deeply religious people hold discriminatory beliefs like homophobia, misogyny, or racism? (despite their religion literally preaching the contrary?) It might be because of how their brains process ideology. When someone grows up in a rigid, totalitarian belief system—such as strict forms of Christianity—they’re conditioned to accept its doctrines without question, no matter how abstract or mystical those teachings may be. This mental framework makes it much easier to adopt other extreme ideologies, like white supremacy or rigid gender roles. If you’ve already internalized an ideology that divides the world into absolute ‘right’ and ‘wrong,’ your mind becomes more susceptible to other forms of extremism.
This tendency is more common when religion is imposed on you—like if your family is religious, so you’re expected to be as well—or when religion becomes a coping mechanism. It can also become a narcissistic trait, something someone clings to as a central part of their identity. What I mean by this is that they may adopt religion not just as a belief, but as something that gives them a sense of superiority, like feeling special or morally better. This could be because they think that by adhering to certain religious doctrines, they’re rewarded with a sense of significance—especially when the religion promises something 'better' after death, as many evangelical beliefs do.
Religion as a coping mechanism works in a similar way. People may think: ‘I don’t want to die :( Wait, something beautiful will await me when I die…’ Or they use religion to handle personal issues, trauma, or anxiety. In these cases, the person's religion is about comforting themselves rather than genuinely believing in spiritual or moral values. These three reasons—being raised in it, using it as a coping mechanism, or attaching it to one’s ego—are inherently hypocritical and not authentic. People who approach religion this way tend not to live by the principles of love, compassion, and empathy that most religions preach; instead, they use it for their own convenience. This self-serving approach makes them more likely not only to have an unwavering belief in the supremacy of their religion, but also to adopt other extremist ideas. In short, their faith is often rooted in hypocrisy, which leads them down a path of discrimination and intolerance.
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The Mystery Lacey Sturm Book
2:31 in...
In the midst of this doubt I thought of my first promise ring. I thought of the way I used to turn it around on my finger so only the smooth part of the band showed and I would tell the customers I waited on at Shownies? I was married if they asked. "Yes I am married to Jesus" They would look either confused or horrified at my answer. It used to make me laugh. I didn't care what they thought. My heart began to burn when I thought about Jesus. It ached. I missed him so desperately, I thought about how being married to Jesus was a good way to show you love sick and committed I was to God. I had made so many "forever" statements in worship about my commitment to God, I thought about those worship songs I used to sing to him. I began to hear them in my head. I started to cry as I sang them softly through my sobs. I had to make a choice. In the middle of this silence, in the middle of my uncertainty, in the middle of all the rational reasons I had to doubt, disbelieve, and walk away from God. I had to make a choice. Would I choose to believe in a God I can no longer feel, understand, hear, make sense of, or in many ways even remember. Or would I choose to make this decision based off of the same thing that I based every other decision in my life on, my feelings. Would I choose to believe my feelings of God not being real and my feelings of doubt? Or would I choose to put my faith in the God I had committed my life to. The God I believed saved me from suicide. Our choices define us. I remembered a scene from a book I had read years ago when I first met God, it was a book about the importance and power of faith. The author Lee Strobel tells the story of Charles Templeton. A close friend of the great evangelists Billy Graham. Both of them worked as evangelists speaking to in arenas tens of thousands of people about faith in Jesus Christ. But eventually Templeton began to doubt, he and Graham had deep discussion over things like the reliability of the Bible. But Graham held on to his faith. And despite the challenges to accept things like the biblical account of creation, he would choose to believe the bible was Gods word. "I believe that Genesis the account of creation because it's in the Bible" said Graham. "Ive discovered something in my ministry, when I take the Bible literally and proclaim it as the word of God, my preaching has power. When I stand on the platform and say " God says or the bible says, the Holy Spirit uses me. There are results. Wiser men than you or I have been arguing about this for centuries. I don't have the time or intellect to exam all sides of the theological dispute. So I have decided once and for all to stop questioning and to accept the bible as God's word. "But Billy you can not do that" replied Templeton. "You don't dare to stop thinking. about the most important question in life. Do it and you begin to die. It's intellectual suicide.." "I don't know about anybody else" Graham said, "But Ive decided that's the path for me." About 50 years later, Strobel interviewed Templeton for his book. Templeton said he still didn't believe in God or the Bible. Stroble asked, "What do you think about Jesus at this stage of your life?" The question revealed a softness in Templeton. "Jesus was the greatest human being who had ever lived, he was a moral genius. His ethical sense was unique. He was intrinsicly the wisest person that I have ever encountered in my life or in my readings. His commitment was total and led to his own death, much to the detriment of the world. What could one say about him besides this was a form of greatness?"...
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The Promised Land belongs to the Faithful sons of Abraham and not to fak... The Promised Land belongs to the Faithful sons of Abraham and not to fake "Saltless" Jews outwardly who cannot build their tribal "Covenant" with Abraham. https://youtu.be/5vpu-FYuBuM Holy Gospel of our Supernatural Father Elohim, Allah, Parbrahm, etc., delivered by the First Anointed Christ, which in Punjabi we call Satguru Jesus of the highest living God Elohim that dwells within His Most Beautiful Living Temple of God created by the greatest artist demiurge Potter, the Lord of the Nature Yahweh, Brahma, Khudah, etc. and it is called Harmandir or “Emmanuel” according to Christ Rajinder:- Yes. He came to save the Jews because they were spiritually greedy sick people whilst the Gentiles and the Samaritans were spiritually healthy, especially the people of Joseph whom the 11 crook brethren wanted to kill but sold as a slave to the Egyptians. With the power of Yahweh, the faithful son of Abraham, "Salt of the Earth", he was graced with the wisdom of Elohim, Allah, Parbrahm, etc. and he was honoured by the sons of Man, the Egyptians and gave him the highest position whilst the crook 11 Patriarchs kept cheating and lying to the Egyptians so much that they made them slave and maltreated them highly. Moses brought them back faithful to Abraham and the same Barren Land became Lush Green or Father Abraham killed the fattened calves to honour the faithful sons. But the old habits die hard and by the time of Christ Jesus, they became super Bastard fanatic devils - John 8v44 by becoming Jews outwardly of appearance and adultered their Scriptures especially the Chapter on circumcision, the tribal mark of Abraham to Isaac and his seed only. Such "Saltless" sons of the most Powerful Satan Al-Djmar Al-Aksa that is showing its colours now destroying relatively faithful sons of Abraham, the Palestinians with curly hair of the Semitic race. President Morsi was a recent example of this Satan, He was Muslim outwardly as the Jews are today but the faithful sons of Abraham locked him in the jail and he died there - People of "Salt" like the Samaritans. I will make a YouTube Video on this topic. Matt 13v24-30:- Is there any doubt about the Tares unfaithful to Abraham and Yahweh? THEY BURN EACH OTHER leaving the sons of Man, Wheat plants live in Peace as the African and the Brazillian people with the tribal marks do. https://youtu.be/lM4-ZSIEseM PREDICTIONS. End Time Sectarian worldwide riots are going to happen soon after 14/11/2023 Sectarian riots on a very large scale are expected. https://youtu.be/elALmrW9ufw Punjabi - Sectarian riots worse than 1947 are looming. Enter the House of Allah for Salvation. https://youtu.be/JZAP01aoKIU I am a retired university lecturer in Metallurgy hailing from Punjab, India where the Second Coming of Christ = Satguru Jesus in the name of Christ = Satguru Nanak Dev Ji took place in 1469 among the most greedy and Sat++++anic people of the Khatri tribe. Through five more Lights, He Preached the Gospel to perfection for over 150 years still the Darkness could not be comprehended. Thus, Four more Lights, the Royal Kings came to protect the Sikhism and promoted the rule of righteousness. The greediest Kings and Emperors of Darkness still carried on with their Sat++++anic activities as Mullahs in the Mosques. The New Testament has good information on what is going on. In fact, Matt 13v24-30 is getting fulfilled and the Tares, the Jews, Muslims, etc. outwardly are getting bundled up in Israel for the Final Burning through Atomic Bombs. Now, these University Theologians are dead in letters of the holy Books totally incapable of understanding the Parable puzzles that only you learn through “intuition” by His grace only that the illiterate Shepherds and farmers were able to do as God is inside them and taught them which the greedy Temple (Winepress coining the moral laws) Priests (Husbandmen) loving Mammon more than God could not understand. That is why Jesus didn’t throw Pearls before swine in Jerusalem as the two men in the Genersate were doing and ended locked up in the silence of the graveyard so that no one should listen to them as the Oxford University Professors of Theology are doing to me. Cutting the matter short, the Atomic War is expected to take place soon after 14/11/2023. This is how I have calculated it:- Israel was established on 14/05/1948. Add to it 70 years of full protection. On 14/05/2018, Israel was 70 years old and Donald Trump declared Jerusalem to be the Capital of Israel and moved his Embassy in Jerusalem. Now, there were Five ...... My ebook by Kindle. ASIN: B01AVLC9WO Private Bitter Gospel Truth videos:- www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/nobility.htm www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/Rest.htm Any helper to finish my Books:- ONE GOD ONE FAITH:- www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/bookfin.pdf and in Punjabi KAKHH OHLAE LAKHH:- www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/pdbook.pdf Very informative Channel:- Punjab Siyan. John's baptism:- www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/johnsig.pdf Trinity:- www.gnosticgospel.co.uk/trinity.pdf
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Unironically I think Miraculous' greatest contribution to the wider world hasn't been anything like a good female role model, or some kind of moral lesson to children (at least directly). But rather the fact that analysis posts about Adrien's behavior have spread knowledge of about Fawning and other coping mechanisms people unknowingly adopt to survive.
Certainly it wasn't anything intentional: apparently Adrien having been conditioned into "perfection" was never a bad thing according to the writing crew: but it has had a positive unintentional effect.
It's ironic. For all the show preaches about the Power of Love, that love is inherently toxic or otherwise questionable in all of the major relationships. It fails so completely at what it preaches that it winds up proving the opposite.
Because in a way, watching Adrien endlessly fawn and forgive whatever hurt Gabriel and/or Ladybug have done to him and thus allow the status quo to stand and repeat is a great lesson unto itself.:
It's a perfect way to demonstrate why love should be conditional. Why anger and frustration aren't always unhealthy, because otherwise you just accept terrible things as the norm. Bad aspects of relationships fester instead of being addressed and become normalized.
I'm going to quote myself here on the Ladynoir romance:
... the only way I would consider writing something like this would be if I were writing a deconstruction of a young adult romance. If I were writing a deliberate examination of just how dangerously easy it is for a naive abusive victim to idolize and become infatuated with the first person who showed them kindness outside of the cage they'd lived in their whole life and who stood up to someone like their abuser.
Like Adrien becoming Chat Noir for the first time and meeting Ladybug, and then seeing her defy and defeat the powerful authority figure Hawkmoth when he tried to use the same basic victim-blaming tactics that surely every abusive parent has tried:
Hawk Moth: Ladybug, Cat Noir, give me the ladybug earrings and the cat ring now. You've done enough damage to these innocent people! Ladybug:(claps sarcastically while walking forward) Nice try, Hawk Moth, but we know who the bad guy is. Let's not reverse the roles here. Without you, none of these innocent victims would be transformed into villains. Hawk Moth, no matter how long it takes, we will find you, and YOU will hand us YOURMiraculous!(jumps up and uses her yo-yo) Time to de-evilize! (uses her yo-yo to make Hawk Moth disappear by catching multiple akumas; Cat Noir and the others look at her, astonished) Let me make this promise to you. No matter who wants to harm you, Ladybug and Cat Noir will do everything in our power to keep you safe! (opens her yo-yo, and a busload of purified butterflies come out; Marinette's parents and the students are thrilled) Cat Noir:Wow. Whoever she is beneath that mask, I love that girl.
Only for that infatuation to lead the naive child into the same patterns they lived under their parent.
Come and see oh children and adults both who learned to smile for their abusers. Come and see Adrien and what happens when you let yourself fall in love with someone like the one who hurt you.
(Those parallels between Marinette and Gabriel that S5 so drew attention to did the relationship no favours.)
Honestly I think Miraculous will one day inspire others to make cartoon romances of their own, based on the then-classic cartoon. But in the same way that Marvel and DC inspired things like The Boys, or how Westerns induced their own revisionist counter-narratives.
Because Miraculous has such little self-awareness of the toxic traits that have become so baked into it that it works better as an antithesis of a healthy and wholesome romance.
Your (and other people's) posts about Adrien's realistic behaviour towards the abuse he faces from his father (excluding the Senti nonsense) and how Marinette greatly benefits from Adrien beeing pre-abused (not getting inconvenienced at all by Adrien and Chat Noir bending backwards to please Ladybug + Maribug doesn't see it necessary to change that state) really opened my eyes on several things and are damn interesting to read. Thanks a lot! Those analyses make these relationships really fascinating to dissect and I'm kind of astounded that they are even there in such a realistic manner in the show.
The bitter truth, however, kicks in when I think about that those complex dynamics are not deliberately written but are just a mere byproduct of the story the writers actually wanted to incompetently tell, that is something along the lines of "Gabriel is a little flawed, but ultimately a loving father" and "Our good-hearted heroine Marinette deserves a perfect boyfriend and all the admiration for being the best Ladybug and Adrien is happy to dedicate his existence to her because she "truly" loves him".
Like...even if the writers wanted to write an abuse story with Adrien (which they clearly didn't want to) I seriously doubt they could have pulled that off as intricate as it coincidentally turned out. And that fact alone drives me a little bit crazy (°ロ°) How could they accidentally write their "loving" heroine and "loving" father character like that? How can Adrien show realistic behaviour an abuse victim could have but to the writers he's just perfect like that? It absolutely baffles me and makes me wonder if the writers themselves have a little skewed view on abuse where they never realized abusive behaviour in their real life and think that's just normal (even though I generally like to avoid making assumptions about creators on basis of their works).
Anyway, thanks for your time and writing interesting, thoughtful posts, it's always a joy to read!
Yeah, it's not a good look for anyone. It's also absolutely one of those cases of the characters being unable to be better than the writers. Because the writers don't seem to be aware that Adrien is a victim, no one can react properly to it and it leads to a lot of concerning writing.
The one that always makes me cringe, but that I don't think I've mentioned before is how they love to have Adrien's friends confront Gabriel when Adrien is denied something and NO! By the gods, that is the WORST thing that you could do to help an abuse victim! DO NOT confront the abuser while the victim is still at their mercy because all that you're going to do is make the abuser mad and get the victim hurt.
If you know - or even just think - that someone in an abusive situation, then I implore you to read guides on this topic as it's an incredibly tricky road to navigate. Doing the wrong thing can have all kinds of nasty consequences like driving the victim into the abuser's arms or getting them hurt. Pretty much everything about the way Adrien's friends handle it is wrong to the point where I have one fic where Adrien confesses that he keeps things from them for fear of them confronting his father and making his situation worse.
On a slightly more positive note, I'm pretty sure that I've mentioned this topic before, but one of the things that feeds my brain rot is how perfectly Miraculous setup a healthy give and take dynamic between the romantic leads. It's hard to do that, but they pulled it off and then completely failed to use it! You have Marinette needing support on the hero side because that's where all of her pressure comes from while Adrien needs support on the civilian side because that's where all of his pressure comes from. It's a great way to allow both of the romantic leads to play the support giver role while also allowing them to play the support taker role, but somehow, we never get that. Adrien doesn't get much support on either side even when he needs it most.
It will forever bother me that the seasons whose focus was his father dying was somehow also the season where multiple episodes were dedicated to him helping Marinette with her romance trauma and trying to be "worthy" of her love. They have made this adorable little romance so unhealthy and it hurts me.
Btw, all of the above is why Ladrien is my favorite side pre-reveal. I love, love, love letting Ladybug be more open about her struggles because you know that she'll never "burden" Chat Noir, but she'll happily talk to Adrien about things like that since they don't effect him (she already does this with Alya, it's absolutely in character). On the other side, Adrien is usually so private, but he would absolutely be an open book with his Lady if she asked him to be, but that won't happen while he's Chat Noir, thus Ladrien having my heart when it comes to writing a more balanced and open pre-reveal relationship. Only side that let's me do it properly.
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“Love”
PT (1) PT (2)
[Yoru/Reader] [Omen/Reader]
Words: 2.5K
Warnings: Mentions of murder, obsession of sorts, suggestive sexual encounters, yandere-ish(?)
How do they show their love? [Is it the epitome of extreme, or just dumb fools?]
Yoru: Act.
For him, words mean nothing if the actions don't back them up immediately; whether be in friendships or his intimate life—to which he shouldn't worry at all since he has none—, he won't heed to promises nor apologies if those are not fulfilled accordingly.
This fact never changed, strengthening with time and polishing it through everything surrounding him despite clashing wildly with the rest. Deaf to complaints and blind to dirty stares, he continues to strive forward in life ignoring them; because if not even the first light made him change his mind, neither will the people who came after the disaster.
Even when he found himself falling in love, Yoru's morals and beliefs never warped nor misguided.
Odd, in everyone's eyes. Meant to be yours, in his.
The loner wolf got someone to like him and tame his wild heart by simple actions, little by little, until Yoru stopped being the radiant with powerful abilities, to introduce himself to you as Ryo; a normal japanese man who enjoys the smells of coffee and reminisce the old times with a heavy heart.
You were completely fooled by his web of lies to keep you away from the mess his life is, to keep you on your toes whenever he desired to share bits of his past and made you feel like the only person special in his world; which is true, despite the many wrongs he's done, you are truly what he could consider his special someone and his treasure.
As the ways you managed to have him wrapped around your finger, Yoru didn't even know he was capable of trusting something so important and delicate as his heart to a stranger of sorts, blinding following what his emotions dictate and what your sweet words enchant him to do.
He was in love, completely and utterly head over heels for you it was almost ridiculous. Yoru would eat every word you’d have to say, watch your fingers work around your station, making his favorite beverage for the day while glancing his way every now and then. He would stay some days, where work was not important and you seemed thrilled to have him around, lounging in the coffee shop and watching you work with a gentle smile gracing his features.
For when the night falls, he would kiss every inch of your body that you allow him to reach and worship you as if you were a god, his god; preaching, marking and claiming you as his.
Every touch, every bite mark, everytime you gasp for air when he drowns himself into your body, taking and taking in tandem what you offer in a silver plate; he cannot get enough, going for it one at a time until he has you shattering with pleasure and he chases after you to join you, that’s how ridiculous this whole thing is.
Phoenix and Jett are the few who were witness to his affections towards another and made it out alive after being found out spying on the japanese man.
To say you saved them from the wrath of Yoru's anger despite the other having all the reasons to explode on them would be an understatement; they are more than thankful, if not curious about your history with the riftwalker and what it meant to have a partner outside his profession.
It was dangerous, in truth, to have his personal life disclosed this easily to everyone who was his comrade in battle; nothing good would come out of it and his lies would be found out if you were to interact further with them.
But at the end, he realized it could favor him immensely if the others knew, except for you.
Yoru is not someone who can trust others easily, as previously stated. Quite the opposite, through his tough persona, he evades people all the time to avoid being seen or cornered to socialize; insulting and pushing away whoever wants to approach him even from a friendly stance.
But when you entered his life, he knew he wouldn't be able to protect you alone, hence the lies, so he decided the best course of action would be roping up a few other members to ensure your safety, as dangerous as it might sound.
Cypher would be sure to erase every trace of your existence or interactions with the riftwalker after every meeting, all at the high cost of a price he won't disclose by contract with the Moroccan man. He is not proud of what he owes Cypher now, but to know you're well secured and protected, he would do it again and again.
He contacted Killjoy to hack into the system to find any correlation of your social circle to whoever worked or is currently working for Kingdom. Once the list was delivered into his hands, Yoru would make sure everyone on the list would be erased from existence, not a single soul would be able to escape him.
By what methods? That's for him to take to the grave, no witnesses.
You are his world, you are his everything, and he will make sure you are safe and sound or else hell will rise.
Omen: Words.
The concentration poured into keeping himself together could be arguably the best quality he could offer.
Not everyone can pride themselves about the determination of keeping oneself alive for longer than nature intended; since his due time was past the date and he’s now going against every little law of the universe, he wonders if this was some sort of punishment.
He’s never asked to be revived into…a monster, despite having many people arguing that whatever he is now, is better than being dead.
A foolish thought.
Omen can definitely be naming the many reasons as to why it is not a miracle, but a penitence for his past mistakes when he was alive. Atoning for his sins in the form of smokes and dirty armor, from broken flesh and ignited bones, it pains him deeply being alive and despises whoever treats his hurt as if it were nothing.
Being reborn as a new being shifts something on his brain, unintentionally, whereas anyone who looks his way will treat him the way he looks: like a monster.
Is inevitable, really, a course of action not even he has the power to stop nor change. He goes along with whatever happens in his surroundings now, letting the flow of energies guide him to where he currently is at and accustomed to his comrades attitudes.
He is more than aware of their dirty looks and general avoidance whenever he is in the vicinity, oblivious of his capability of sensing emotions through wavelengths or the fact that he is witness to their change in demeanour— they know how to keep it professional enough so disturbances don't take place.
That is how his days go by, used to it, used to being an unsightly view and detriment to the morale of his comrades with his unsettling voice and mannerism. His turmoil means nothing if the rest is content with not having him around; so he absconds, hides himself most of the time and pretends he isn't alive for their sake.
There is nothing new in his everyday life.
Or so he thinks, before his curse tides the wave in his favor.
Imagine his surprise the first time someone didn't react negatively with his presence.
It threw him off, confusion overtaking him and assuming he just read the cues wrong. It surprised him more when you didn't react at all until he spoke out loud, scaring the living shit out of you.
When you looked at him, or more specifically, where you thought he was, Omen supposed this would go different.
Not being a sociable person, Omen finds it odd on him to have been convinced to come to Harajuku for materials he needed. Some of his knitting kits have gone missing, and trying to go by undetected and to not bother his comrades, he never spoke about the issue.
Yoru made some reassurance, in his own way, that no one would mind the way he looks since everyone there was already a freak. Omen didn't refute his saying, since his words had truth in there, despite feeling offended.
“They won't even notice you at night,” he commented.
No fear, no screams, not even a glance nor terrified expression painting your features besides being startled; that's how your first meeting went: only a smile and the pleasure to assist him.
Kind and lovely, adjectives Omen would never think of being used in his vocabulary, but for this occasion, it was necessary, a must to describe you. Amusing, too, whenever he would ask you questions about certain things, voice deep and reverberating it sent shivers down your spine, it made you nervous.
One more worker, just like him, but missing a certain ability most had.
You were blind.
For better or worse, it doesn't change your way of treating him like a human being; despite him losing his humanity over and over again on the battlefield, taking life after another, you treat him with a kindness and warmness that he has forgotten long ago.
You are quick to erase the awful thoughts running through his brain with little chats and adorable clumsiness, chasing after him at the shop to keep talking. It was flattering that someone was taking an interest in him this deeply, and inevitably, he finds himself chasing after you too.
Omen believes this is how liking someone feels, contrary to his initial thoughts on socializing, he finds it fulfilling and easy to navigate on with you with this newfound feeling.
His one time visit becomes a recurrent, always looking for you and ignoring everyone else in your surroundings to goad you into full attention and pretty smiles. Even when people visit the shop, even when people comment on his overall look with disgusted faces, one word from you eases his tension and doubts.
You are a sweetheart to a fault, letting everyone walk on you because of your calm demeanor and shy complex under stressful situations. He would watch people talk behind your back within your presence, ignoring completely the crestfallen expression on your face or the gathering tears in your eyes when you think he’s not there or no one notices.
They belittle you, doubt your work and decision making because of your lack of vision.
They doubt him too, for his appearance, he doesn’t know for sure. But their words begin to target him as well, stronger than before, with the full intention of seeing him fall and break under the pressure of the masses and therefore, you would fall too.
Omen decides he wants them gone.
Aim is another quality of his, you know?
A little secret whispered in your ear one night. With a promise to return and barrel of the gun cold, he goes off into the dark and blends in within the shadows surrounding the city to fulfill his wishes.
Whatever he does outside the sliding doors of the little shop should be none of your concern, but his alone. If you hear crying, muffled sounds at the end of the street, or just the minimum rustle at the entrance, he’s warned you to not chase after it.
Being covered in dry blood is not a pretty sight, and he wonders then, watching the life fading from another monster who dared disrespect you, if you would accept it for who he really is.
So when he reaches the threshold in the shop, startling you and freezing on the spot, he asks you if you would ever consider loving someone who doesn't belong in this world anymore.
When you kiss for the first time, Omen doesn't think, he can't, too overwhelmed to process what's going on.
Is odd, but somehow, warming. Your face is warm with how embarrassed and nervous you feel, lips reaching into thin air, but at the same time, colliding against a surface you believe could be his mouth.
Your hands hold his head in place through the fabric of his hood, and he can feel your thumbs rubbing softly against what could be considered his cheeks in a soothing motion when you press further and then back away, smiling softly at him.
There are no words to say, it's unnecessary at this moment when the question has been answered.
Omen caresses your face with his claws, and he feels you shiver and sigh, closing your eyes and leaning into his touch.
Leaning in, he decides to take what he wants from you, and you gladly let him have his way with you, whispering his name the moment his hands disappear under your clothes and air embraces your whole body.
Inside the closed shop, no one is witness of the way Omen loves you that night, with his whole being and emotions only he dreamed of being real and is now a reality.
#valorant fanfiction#yoru x reader#omen x reader#yandere yoru#yandere omen#seneitut writes#im writing down for gekko and cypher next fjgndfjgdf#still trying to finish the reqs y_y
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With Borderlands here, may I ask for headcanons of Rhys vs Katagawa? Darling is probably in a tight place, being pursued by the two
They act like such children when fighting, lol.
Yandere! Rhys vs Katagawa Jr.
Pairing: Romantic - Rivalry
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Jealousy, Manipulation, Bribing, Murder, Violence, Forced relationships.
You are certainly in a tricky situation.
Two heads of corporations want to have your heart...
How unfortunate.
The better one to go with would probably be Rhys.
Rhys genuinely wants the best for his darling and is very dedicated to you.
Katagawa Jr. is a different story... he's always had trouble making friends.
He tried to force friendship from Rhys by buying out Atlas.
While Rhys is caring and tries to give you everything from the bottom of his heart...
Katagawa Jr. would do anything from bribing to murder to obtain your heart.
Katagawa is a firm believer in buying what he wants.
Just name the price of your heart and he'll pay it.
The idea of stealing you from Rhys is a nice benefit in his eyes.
Rhys is going to try and tell you that Katagawa won't treat you well.
With Rhys he offers you all of what he has, no bribing required!
You could ask him for anything and he'd do it.
Rhys says Katagawa is trying to give you money and gifts to keep you obedient like a pet more than love.
If that's true or not doesn't matter to you...
You're scared of your situation.
Sure, Rhys is genuine...
Yet Katagawa is rather persistent.
Katagawa keeps contacting you, preaching ways for you two to work things out.
He could give you so much more than Rhys...
You just have to leave Atlas and come to Maliwan, then he'll shower you in affection.
The sad part is he probably thinks you're supposed to buy your love's heart.
As said before, he is horrendous with connecting to others.
Rhys, being as insecure as he is, is praying that you don't fall for Katagawa's offers.
He's hoping you care for him enough to not toss him aside-
Katagawa's motives could be just to get back at Rhys.
That or maybe he has fallen for you.
Whatever the motive for the both of them... you hear them talk about you on their calls a ton.
They fight like children over the phone.
You start to wonder if they both see you as a person or not.
The two men have a ton of power.
Rhys managed to grow Atlas since he took over.
Katagawa killed his family members to get where he is.
You want to run away...
But how do you hide from two powerful CEOs like them?
Rhys will look for you with help from Zer0 and possibly a Vault Hunter.
Katagawa has COV on his side due to a deal.
Katagawa is more than willing to spill blood to get what he wants.
Rhys is hesitant with all the violence for a moment, yet he thinks of you...
It quickly becomes worth it.
The war between them on Promethea becomes more than just business.
It's not just because Katagawa can't buy Atlas...
It's now because you're the newest prize.
It hurts to know people are dying because of you.
You can't escape that.
You can take the money from Katagawa and spare many lives...
You'd live in luxury, dressed all nice and treated like a prize.
Katagawa does often try to manipulate you into staying with him... promising to give endless affection if you agree-
Then there's Rhys, willing to work with what he has and listen to you.
More would die but you may be happier.
Rhys doesn't want to buy your heart... he wants to earn it.
The choice tears at you from the inside, morals making your head throb...
Why is it all up to you and who will you choose?
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