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tilebytiles · 9 months ago

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settle for a draw - a.t.

summary: you didn't expect to meet a cowboy. you didn't expect to fall in love with him, either. word count: 5.5k warnings: age gap (reader is 20, alex is 25) a/n: im not the only one who sees tbhc alex as a cowboy ..... right </3

you shouldn't have been so surprised to see the figure approaching your parents' farm, riding his trusty steed and kicking up dust as he approached. you lived on a farm, for crying out loud. you knew the rural life was one a lot of people chose; the countryside was beautiful, for one, but it also offered the perfect chance to get away from it all. none of that stopped you from practically gaping as who you could only assume to be a cowboy approached the front gates.

okay, maybe you were stereotyping by calling him a cowboy, but he certainly looked the part. one hand was firmly clamped down on his hat, preventing it from being swept away by the wind, and the other clutched the reins, guiding his horse forward with practiced ease. his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, revealing tanned and muscled forearms, and the undone buttons of his shirt offered you a sliver of his chest, the gold chain around his neck jostling with each movement.

you were content to stare (ogle), but your father came up beside you on the front porch and clicked his tongue. "should go see what he wants," he said.

you looked over at him. "me?" he nodded. "but you said —"

"y/n, if he tries anything with you while i’m standin' right here, i’m gonna rip him a new one and make sure he sees god."

you father had a funny way of showing how much he loved you.

you descended the steps and hitched your skirts up, rushing over to the front gate right as the dashing stranger slowed his horse to a stop, gently petting its mane. he looked down at you and tipped his hat politely. "how do you do?" his voice was smooth like velvet and deep, reaching the sort of vocal depths that made your stomach tingle.

"i’m fine, thank you," you said softly, lifting a hand to shield your eyes from the sun. "can i ask what you're doing here?"

"ah ..." he released the reins to dip his hand into the bag attached to the saddle, pulling out a rolled-up sheet of paper and handing it to you over the gate. you unfurled it and observed the printed colors, taking note of the hastily scribbled markings, presumably by his hand. it was a map. as you looked over it, he said, "been travelin' for a few days and decided it was best to take a rest. i’m low on supplies, and i wanted t' see if you could help me out any."

you looked back up at him. your family had never housed anyone outside of your relatives before, but you didn't see why you couldn't accommodate this gentleman. granted, you'd only spoken to him for ... a minute, max, but he seemed nice enough. plus, there was a spare bedroom in your house, and your mother was always guilty of making too much food ... you undid the latches and pulled the gate open, producing a thunderous creak. you really needed to oil the hinges soon. the stranger smiled at you, taking the map when you offered it back to him, and stuffed it back into his satchel before swinging one of his legs over and sliding off his horse. he was taller than you, but not by too much. you led him to the front porch, where your father still stood, and asked, "papa, can he stay for a few days?"

your father eyed the supposed cowboy for a few long, long moments before finally sighing and nodding. "you better stay away from my daughter," he said, pointing his finger rather threateningly at the man.

the man was at least smart enough to nod quickly. "of course, sir. i wouldn't ever think o' trying anythin' with her."

your father slowly nodded in approval before turning to head back into the house, presumably to update your mother on the situation. you watched the door shut, then gestured for the man to follow as you led him around to the back of the house, where the stables were situated. if he was content to remain in silence as you opened one of the stall doors so he could lead his horse inside, you had other plans. "what’s your name?"

he glanced at you for a second as he led his horse into the stall, releasing its reins once it was inside. "alex."

"alex ... ?"

"turner."

"that's a funny last name."

he cocked an eyebrow, following you as you picked up a nearby bucket to fill the trough in the stall with water from the pump behind your house. "well, what's yours?"

"l/n." you dropped the bucket into the grass and began working the pump, your brows scrunching together with exertion.

he crossed his arms over his chest, the muscles in his forearms flexing with the movement. "i could argue that's no better than mine."

"i never said it was."

"you got a first name, miss l/n?"

"y/n." once the bucket was adequately filled, you lifted it up (trying to ignore the way your arms already wanted to give out) and hauled it back to the stall alex’s horse was in. "how come you're going to the mountains?"

he watched as you poured the water into the trough — it only filled it up about halfway. silently, he gestured for the bucket, and you hesitated before handing it to him. he headed for the water pump, but you remained by the stall, leaning against the wooden beam that reached up to the stable ceiling. "i got some friends up there," he said, speaking louder so you could hear him. "plan to stay a week or two with 'em, then head back home."

"it’ll take you a couple more days to get there."

"i know. that’s why i’m restin' for a few days."

you immediately noticed how much faster he was than you at filling the bucket up. you wanted to be surprised, but you knew you couldn't — he was a skilled rider, and if he was a cowboy, he likely had multiple horses. he knew what he was doing, and his muscular arms hinted at years of practiced motions such as these. he lifted the full bucket with ease, too, as if it was little more than a bundle of feathers. you wondered if he was showing off, only holding it with one hand while you'd needed two. "what’s your horse's name?"

he stepped past you to pour the water into the trough. "lizzie."

you eyed the horse for a few moments. yeah, she looked like a lizzie. "she’s pretty."

he smiled at that — a small smile, but one nonetheless. "d'ya wanna pet her?"

you blinked. "can i?"

he set the bucket down outside the stall and pushed the stall door shut, nodding at you as he did so. "she won' bite, if that's what you're worried about."

you stepped up to the stall door and slowly reached your hand out, letting your fingers brush against the top of her nose. in response to your fleeting caress, lizzie leaned her head forward, her eyes fluttering shut — a silent encouragement. you gave her a more confident pat on her head, then ran your hand along her mane, marveling at how smooth the hairs were. she truly was a stunning horse.

beside you, alex was still smiling; you could see it in your periphery. you turned your head to look at him while still offering lizzie affection. "what?"

he shrugged. "i dunno, 's just always nice t' see people interactin' with her. she’s a real attention seeker, y'know. don’t be too nice t' her, or she'll never leave you alone."

that made you laugh. "is that how you ended up with her?"

he nodded, reaching his own hand out to scratch under Lizzie's chin. "found her near my farm a few years back. poor girl was shiverin' to death — looked like she hadn't eaten in a while, either. i gave her some food an' before i knew it, she wouldn't stop nuzzlin' me, demandin' attention. i didn't see the harm in bringin' in one more horse."

"how many do you have?"

"countin' her, five."

five? your family only had two. maybe your cowboy theory wasn't so far off. speaking of ... "are you a cowboy?"

amusement immediately engraved itself into his features. he opened his mouth to answer, but right as he did, your mother's voice sounded from the back door of your home. "y/n!" she called. "time for dinner! bring your friend, too!"

beside you, alex snorted. "i’m your friend, am i?"

you just rolled your eyes and motioned for him to follow as you left the stables.

as soon as you stepped past the threshold of the back door, the smell of herbs filled your nostrils, urging you into the kitchen to find the source. your mother had just finished plating and was setting a pot down on the stove when you appeared in the doorway, alex in tow. she looked over at the both of you and smiled. “c’mon, sit down,” she urged, gesturing towards the dining table. you were both quick to acquiesce — you were hungry, and alex was starving.

your father appeared and sat across from alex, your mother sitting across from you. you picked up your cutlery and began to cut into the chicken breast on your plate; the sounds of forks and knives clinking against plates, along with glasses being set down on the table, filled the room. your mother’s cooking was divine, as always, and you were content to sit in silence and devour everything on your plate. your father, however, had other plans, and after wiping the crumbs from his mouth, said, “i saw john’s boy in town today.”

your ears perked up. “julian?”

he nodded. “spoke to him some, too. john’s lookin’ to sell one of his horses. i was thinkin’ to pay him a visit tomorrow.”

your mother, not wanting alex to feel left out, asked him, “how many horses do you have?”

“five, ma’am,” alex said.

“what’s your name, anyway, boy?” your father asked. you wanted to kick him under the table for the way he said it.

“alex turner, sir. my farm’s ‘bout a three-day trip from here.”

“three days? what the hell are you doin’ out here?”

“goin’ to the mountains, sir, to stay with some friends o’ mine.”

your father simply nodded and stuffed a forkful of roasted potatoes into his mouth. you looked over at alex and asked, "do you think you could help me with some chores after dinner?"

"now, y/n," your mother said, "alex is probably tired from all the ridin' he's done."

"no, ma'am, it's no problem." alex smiled softly at you, the kind of smile that made your stomach feel light. "i’ll help you."

you returned his smile. "thank you."

after dinner, you helped your mother clear the table, get the leftovers into containers that went into the fridge, and wash the dishes. once you were finished in the kitchen, you headed out into the back with alex in tow. "we have to make sure everything's locked up," you explained as you walked, "and set the traps for the night."

"gotcha." you were surprised when he didn't question what the traps were for, but you quickly reminded yourself he had a farm of his own; he probably set traps, too.

while you set about making sure the stables, barn, henhouse, and pens were all locked, alex worked on the traps. somehow, he knew exactly what to do without you telling him, and as you passed him on your way to the henhouse, your brows furrowed. "how do you know how to set them?"

he looked up at you from where he was sat in the grass. "i have these traps on my farm. they’re the cheapest an' the most convenient."

"oh." now you felt a bit silly for asking.

once you were both finished, you made your way back inside, making sure to lock the back door behind you. while you'd helped your mother in the kitchen, she'd told you she'd already made up one of the guest bedrooms for alex to stay in, so you led him upstairs and down the hall, stopping in front of the last room on the right. "my room's right across the hall," you said, looking up at him, "so if you need anything, just let me know."

"okay." he smiled at you. "thanks, y/n. have a good night."

"you too, alex." you watched as he stepped into the bedroom and flashed you one last smile before shutting the door.

•••••

by the time morning came in the form of rays of light filtering through the window and incessant bird calls from nearby trees, you had forgotten alex was staying for a few days, not just last night. in fact, you’d nearly forgotten about alex entirely, resulting in you letting out a yelp when the door to guest bedroom across the hall creaked open to reveal a human figure. a ghost? no one had stayed in that bedroom since your relatives came for the holidays. your house was haunted, you needed to tell your parents —

“y/n?” the sound of alex’s voice was like a lighthouse in the storm, clearing the dark clouds that obscured your vision. no ghost — just the man you thought was a cowboy. you made a note to ask him about that again later.

“oh …” you cleared your throat, crossing your arms over your chest and leaning against the doorway of your own room. “hey.”

he cocked an eyebrow at you and leaned against his doorway, stuffing his hands into his pockets. he still wasn’t dressed, you noticed. he was like you and ate before getting ready for the day. “you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

you stared at him, opening your mouth to respond and closing it again when you had nothing to say. finally, you looked away and mumbled, “i forgot you were here.”

he barked out a laugh at that. “did you now? guess i scared ya, huh? sorry ‘bout that.”

you didn't say a word and quickly headed for the stairs.

you saw your mother setting plates on the dining table, but your father was nowhere to be found. confused, you asked, “where’s papa?”

“he went to go talk to john ‘bout his horse, remember?”

oh. no, you didn’t remember.

breakfast went by quickly, with neither you nor alex saying much. once you were done eating, you went back upstairs to get dressed, then headed outside to tend to your morning chores. your first stop — the henhouse.

you set down the wicker basket you’d brought with you on the ground and hauled the sack of chicken feed up into your arms, grunting with the effort. you did an awkward little waddle around the yard, scattering feed as you went. once you were satisfied with the coverage, you set the sack back down by the henhouse, then picked your wicker basket back up. you undid the locking mechanism and opened the henhouse doors, immediately greeted with a cacophony of clucks. “good morning to you, too,” you hummed, watching as the hens headed down the wooden ramp in a single file line.

as you poked your head inside, examining their nests, you heard a voice behind you. “any luck today?” alex.

you straightened up and deposited the few eggs you’d found into the basket. “just a few,” you said, looking up at him. “what are you doing out here?”

he shrugged, watching as one of the hens pecked at his boot. “i was gonna see if ya wanted t’ take lizzie for a ride once you were done.”

you smiled at him. “i’d love to.”

his gaze snapped up to meet yours, and he returned your smile. “d’you need any help?”

“actually, yeah …”

with alex’s help, you were able to get the rest of your chores done with ease. having someone help you made it all go by much faster, and you were already dreading the day he’d have to leave. maybe you would need to remind your father of the idea he’d had of hiring a farm hand.

you stood and watched as he opened the stall door, stepping inside to get the saddle and reins back onto lizzie. “is she the feisty type?”

he snorted. “hell no. she’s a real sweetheart.”

you stepped aside so he could lead lizzie out of the stall and followed behind him as he took her out of the stables. the two of you (three, technically) headed for the forest behind your house; it was your idea to take the unofficial path you’d trekked with your horse a number of times before. you came to a stop outside the tree line, and alex held his hand out to you. you knew you didn’t need help getting onto lizzie’s back, and you knew alex probably knew that too, but you took his hand anyway, hauling yourself up onto the horse and clutching the front of her saddle to steady yourself. alex hopped on behind you, his chest almost touching your back as he reached around you to grab the reins. you knew the close contact couldn’t be helped, but that didn’t stop you from blushing at the proximity.

he tapped the side of his boot against lizzie’s side, urging her into an idle trot as he directed her into the forest. the scene was like something out of a fantasy novel: a couple of downed trees lined the path, covered in overgrown moss; you could make out the occasional cluster of mushrooms; and sunlight filtered down through the trees branches overhead, casting the path you were navigating in an otherworldly glow. you were half expecting fairies to start whizzing by. behind you, alex let out a low whistle. “this sure is pretty.”

you nodded. “i like coming out here when i can with my horse.”

“and what’s ‘er name?”

“it’s embarrassing,” you mumbled.

that only piqued his curiosity. “embarrassin’? how could it be embarrassin’?”

you sucked in a breath before quickly muttering, “twilightsparkle.”

“sorry?” his knee bumped against the back of your thigh; whether intentionally or not, you didn’t know. “you’re gonna have t’ repeat that one for me.”

“twilight sparkle.”

silence followed.

and then, in possibly the most mortifying outcome, he guffawed. “twilight sparkle?”

“i got her when i was a child,” you said defensively. “i wasn’t exactly a name aficionado.”

“yeah, yeah, okay,” he chuckled. “ain’t that one of the … oh, what’s that show —“

“my little pony,” you mumbled.

you could feel him nodding behind you. “yeah, my little pony. you liked it when you were young, then?”

you nodded. suddenly, you thought it wouldn’t be so bad if a giant hole opened up in the ground and swallowed you. “twilight sparkle was my favorite character, so when my parents got me my own horse, it felt fitting. i call her twilight for short.”

“just twilight is less embarrassin’ than throwin’ the sparkle on.”

“you don’t have to keep rubbing it in, you know.”

“sorry, sorry.” he chuckled again. “definitely not the worst thing you coulda named ‘er, though.”

you rose an eyebrow and looked at him over your shoulder. “there are worse things?”

“lot worse.”

“like what?”

he grew silent, his expression turning to one of contemplation as he mulled it over. “one o’ my friends in the mountains is like you — got a horse when he was a kid. he named ‘im, uh … what’s the full thing …” another few seconds of silent thought, and then he smiled. “armageddon the destroyer. the third. dunno where the first two came from.”

it took every last bit of restraint you had to not burst into giggles. “armageddon the destroyer the third?”

he nodded. “he’s still got that damn horse, too. likes to just call him destroyer now.”

“which friend of yours is this?”

“matt helders. if ya ever get to meet ‘im, don’t tell him i told you all this. he’ll throw me off the nearest mountain.”

you didn’t think you ever would meet him, but you made a mental note to keep this story to yourself if you did.

the three of you (it was only fair to count lizzie, you thought) continued down the path, falling into a tranquil silence. you pet lizzie’s mane and occasionally scratched behind her ears, eliciting a sound that you assumed was her way of showing appreciation.

abruptly, you asked, “are you a cowboy?”

there was a pause. “you asked that yesterday.”

“yeah, and you didn’t get to answer.”

“hm …” he sighed. “i certainly look the part, don’t i?”

“yeah.”

“i guess technically, yeah, although, er, i don’t really go around callin’ myself one.”

that was fair, you supposed. “so is it, like, a generational thing?”

“yeah. my dad was one, his dad was one, so on and so forth … the farm life’s the only thing i’ve ever known.”

“do you like it?”

“like it?” he snorted. “i wouldn’t trade it for a damn thing.”

you were going to be sad to see alex go.

•••••

“i’m taking a bath,” you called down the stairs.

there was a beat of silence, then your mother called back, “okay!”

it was the night before alex would be leaving. he’d been an incredibly helpful guest; he’d always helped with chores without having to be asked, and your father thought him especially helpful because he kept you out of his hair whenever you got bored. you’d been taken out on lizzie a number of times, told dozens of stories from alex’s childhood and adulthood, and he’d even played songs for you on the acoustic guitar your father owned but never used. for the first time in years, probably, it’d gone a day without collecting dust.

you shut the door to the bathroom and stepped over to the tub, making sure to plug the drain before turning the faucet on and watching as the water began to rain down. as you waited, your thoughts drifted back to alex — not just the stories he’d shared or the skill with which he’d played your father’s guitar, but the way he made you feel. you didn’t really like it; for one, you weren’t used to feeling that way about people, but you also knew nothing could ever come out of it. he was going off to the mountains to see his friends, and after that, you’d probably never see him again. he was always destined to just be a blip in your world. plus, you felt incredibly silly for feeling anything at all, considering it’d only been a few days. maybe you just needed to talk to people more often …

once the tub was filled, you turned the faucet off and stripped out of your clothes, leaving them in a pile on the floor. you stepped into the tub and sank down into the warm water, letting out a sigh of relief; it was an instant balm to your aching bones. you closed your eyes, content to think of literally anything, but your brain kept wandering back to alex. his perfect eyes, his perfect smile, his perfect beard and perfect chest and perfect arms and perfect legs and perfect ass that you had unashamedly stared at once. okay, maybe you were ashamed now, but at the time, you'd had to pinch your arm just to get yourself to stop staring like an idiot. you were hopeless.

you had seen him shirtless once. on one of the days where there was too much work and it was too hot to do it all. you were convinced you were going to explode when you saw him, chest and abs bared and sweating in the summer heat. he was probably used to being shirtless in weather like that, but that didn't mean you were prepared to see it. when he'd seen you gawking like a fool, he'd apologized and offered to put his shirt back on, but you'd told him it was okay and that he didn't have to under the guise of not wanting him to overheat. deep down, though, you wanted to be able to ogle him, just for a little longer.

were you only physically attracted to him? that thought haunted you like an unseen phantom as you worked shampoo into your wet hair. of course he was attractive — he had the perfect body, in your eyes — but was that the only reason he appealed to you? you didn't think it was; you knew it would be a lot easier to get over his absence if that was just the case.

he would be gone tomorrow morning.

that became your mantra for the rest of your bath, and you kept repeating it to yourself as you dried off, emptied the tub, and got dressed for bed. he would be gone tomorrow morning. you left the bathroom and headed down the hall, stepping into your room. he would be gone tomorrow morning. you shut your door and let yourself succumb to the warmth and comfort of your bed, making sure to turn your bedside lamp off before drifting off to sleep. he would be gone tomorrow morning.

“hey. y/n. wake up.”

“huh?” you forced your eyes open and stared up at the partially illuminated figure that hovered above you. "alex?" you mumbled. "what are you doing here?"

"i wanna show you somethin'," he whispered.

"it’s late. can’t you show me in the morning?"

"nope." he shook his head for emphasis. "gotta show ya now."

you felt like a parent arguing with their child.

you forced yourself out of bed and slipped your shoes on at his request before following him out of your room and downstairs. you were expecting to go out the front door, but he led you through the back, making sure to be extra quiet to avoid waking your parents until you were both outside. you were both still in your pajamas, and you were still trying to blink the sleepiness out of your eyes. you followed him into the forest behind your house, confusion settling across your features when he suddenly deviated from your usual path and led you to a different part of the forest. what the hell was he doing?

eventually, he stopped, and you nearly crashed into him. "we’re here."

"you dragged me outside in the middle of the night for —" the words died out in your throat as you realized what you were seeing.

you’d never gone this deep into the forest before, so you had no idea a scene like this even existed. the trees opened up in a wide circle, revealing a little pond surrounded by different stones. the grass was soft as it brushed against your ankles, and flowers were scattered all across the ground, practically beaming up at you. you felt like you'd stepped into some pocket dimension.

"come on." alex nudged you and stepped further into the clearing, and it was at that moment that you became aware of the blanket tucked under his left arm.

your brows furrowed. "what’s the blanket for?"

you watched as he laid it out in the grass, making sure it was neat and straight and there weren't any rocks hiding under it for your body to find before straightening up and smiling softly at you. "stargazin'."

oh. you weren't annoyed at him for waking you up anymore.

you walked over and sat down on the blanket, removing your shoes and setting them off to the side before stretching yourself out. you stared up at the sky, mystified by the sheer number of stars you could see. "it’s so pretty," you breathed.

"i was hopin' you'd like it."

you turned your head to look at him as he laid beside you. "did you find this just for me?"

he nodded, his smile turning a bit sheepish. "i’d sorta stumbled on it the other day when i was out here. i’ve been meanin' to show it to you."

"thank you, alex."

"ah, don't mention it." he turned his head to look up at the stars, and you stared at him for a beat too long before doing the same.

silence consumed the both of you, broken by the occasional chirp or drone of some nearby insect. you didn't know what possessed you to shatter the silence and say anything, but after a few minutes, you quietly confessed, "i don't want you to go."

it took a couple of seconds for alex to respond. "why not?"

"i don't know." you crumpled up the fabric of your shirt between your fingers. "the last few days have been really nice, and i don't really want all this to end."

"i can't say i’m particularly fond o' goin', either," he mumbled, letting out a sigh afterwards. "i’d like to see my friends, of course, but ... y'know."

"yeah."

another minute passed, and then he rolled onto his side, propping his head up on his hand as his elbow dug into the blanket. "y/n, can i ask you somethin'?"

"you just did, technically," you said, looking up at him.

he rolled his eyes. "okay, smartass. you know what i mean."

"go ahead."

"have you ever ..." he trailed off, his expression growing pensive as he searched for the right words. "you ever left home before?"

you blinked in surprise. you weren't sure what you'd been expecting him to ask, but it wasn't that. "uh ... no. why?"

he shrugged, as if to brush it off and act nonchalant, but you could tell he was hiding something. "just thought i’d ask."

"you’re a bad liar, alex."

"why would i be lyin'?"

"i don't know. why are you lying?"

he sighed. "i guess ... i dunno. it’d be nice if i could bring ya with me. i think you'd like my friends."

oh. there was that fluttering sensation in your stomach. "you want me to go with you?"

"it’d be nice if you could," he corrected. "way too late for that to get worked out. plus, your parents might kill me. or your dad would. your mom's a real sweetheart."

"she does hate killing bugs," you mused. you thought on what he'd just said. "why would you want me to go with you?"

he looked off at the pond, growing silent as he tried to figure out how to say whatever was on his mind. you waited patiently, and eventually, your patience paid off. "i think i’m growin' attached to you."

you stared at him. "what?"

he looked down at you. "i said it in english."

you wanted to slap him. "what do you mean, you're —"

"i like ya, y/n. as in, i think you're cute, and maybe i wanna kiss ya."

if you were going to explode when you saw him shirtless, you were sure you were about to turn into a nuclear bomb.

"oh," you managed.

he rose an eyebrow. "oh? is that it?"

"well, i mean —" you sat up and turned your head to look at him. "i don't think ... i’d mind it if you kissed me," you mumbled.

he stared at you, his eyes widening minutely before going back to their original size. now it was his turn to say, "oh." he cleared his throat and sat up fully, looking down at the blanket you were sat on. he eventually looked back up at you. "so ... can i —"

you cut him off by crashing your lips against his.

it took him no time at all to react. his hand went to the nape of your neck, pulling you closer as your mouths slotted together perfectly. you didn't want this moment to end, but too soon was he pulling away to stare down at you. "christ," he breathed. he dipped his head down to kiss you again, and again, and again. the onslaught of pecks made you giggle. your blood was practically singing in your veins.

when he finally stopped kissing you, you smiled up at him. "i didn't realize cowboys were such softies."

he scowled, although you could tell there was no real malice behind it. "what, am i supposed to act all mean an' tough around a cute girl?"

now it was your turn to roll your eyes. "yeah, yeah. call me cute again, and i’ll get a big head.”

"you'd still look cute if your head was the size of the moon," he hummed, leaning in to kiss you one last time.

you wrapped your arms around his waist and squeezed yourself closer to him, listening to his heart as it thrummed against his ribcage. "the next time you go to visit your friends, you should take me with you," you mumbled.

he pressed a tender kiss to the top of your head and murmured, "it’s a deal, sweetheart."

"and i promise i won't bring up armageddon the destroyer the third in front of matt."

he let out a breathless chuckle and pinched your side, making you yelp. "if you do, i’m leavin' you up there to deal with him."

tags: @elexnorislingtxn / @edandmollydeservebetter / @sagegreensimmr / @billyseye / @supernaturalandpain / @not-a-big-slay

#alex turner #alex turner x reader #tbhc era #arctic monkeys #am #fanfic #alex turner x you #alex turner x y/n #divider by saradika

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emisprocrastinatingbywriting · 3 months ago

Text

Alone and Forsaken

Chapter Summary:

Four years later and Joel cannot believe the way his life has turned out. As he prepares for what he hopes is one of the best nights of your lives, will his fears get in the way of his future?

Warnings: Fluff, Smut, Soft! Joel, Possessive! Joel, Talks of Past Trauma and Character Death (Minor), Neither Joel or Reader Need a Hug For Once, Talks About The Future, Love <3.

A/N:

Hey y'all, I've missed you and this story so much that I decided to write an epilogue. This has a bit of a time jump and we are checking in on them four years after the last chapter. I won't ruin it for you but heads up, this is a whole lot of fluff and a whole lot of smut. I do fill in some blanks for you all since the dust has settled a bit, but I also wanted to feed my readers some filth after tormenting you for twenty chapters. If you guys want to see this pair again, my requests are always open but until then, that's all folks! I will starting a new series soon so stay tuned if you liked this one. Thank you for reading my first fic, I know it isn't perfect, but it has been a blast. Love ya <3

Epilogue: Alone and Forsaken, No More!

An amused grin stretched over Joel’s weathered face, his eyes following the little girl with a wild mane of curls as she chased a stocky boy across the backyard. Ellis’s chunky little legs worked hard, hard enough to keep him safe from the snake Alba was taunting him with, but he wasn’t quite as nimble as her. She screeched in delight as she gained on him, laughing maniacally at his terrified screams. If he were a better parent, perhaps he would have scolded her antics, but it was hard to do that effectively when he himself couldn’t hold in his own laughter.

Even after four years, Joel found himself in constant awe of the dumb luck he had stumbled upon. Finding you had changed everything, leading him down a path that was more interconnected than he could have ever imagined. It had been almost ten years since he lost Ellie to the fireflies and condemned himself to a lifetime of solitude, and even longer since he had lost Sarah. Although the two girls still held their rightful places in Joel’s heart, he no longer let the sting of losing them eat him alive. Ellie and Sarah hadn’t been squished to the side with the arrival of the twins, rather his heart had expanded so that it could fit everyone inside.

There were still days where Joel missed them so much that getting out of bed seemed impossible but instead of keeping it all in, he talked about it. Speaking about his girls breathed life into them once again and allowed their siblings to get to know their sisters better. He smiled with each question the twins threw at him about their favorite colors or their favorite books, willing to go on for hours if they wanted him to. The simple act of remembering, a feat that had once terrified him, was the thing that patched the holes in his aching soul. That, and the love of the one person who had been able to peel back the steel welded around his heart.

Without his mate, Joel would be nothing more than the grieving shell of a man you had found waiting to die in the woods. It was bizarre for him to think about that day, and how different his life had become because of it. That morning his nightmares had pulled him out of sleep, just like they had for the past twenty four years. What had he been dreaming of? Joel couldn’t remember, all he knew was that whatever it was had served as yet another painful reminder of his failures. The morning was a blur to him now, but he would never forget standing over that trap, lifting his nose in the air as notes of lavender and peppermint drifted over to him from the river. With so much time in complete solitude, Joel remembered thinking he had finally gone insane, before a quiet whimper had smacked him in the chest and dragged him towards the rushing waters.

After that day, Joel was in a constant state of awe at how ridiculously fortunate his life was. How could a sad sack of shit like him happen upon someone so beautiful, so understanding? It seemed impossible. And the fact that you loved him back? Well, that was a shock that he was sure he would never shake off. During the time at the cabin, the first home you shared together, Joel felt like he was always waiting for you to change your mind, like at any moment you might come to your senses and abandon him. But now? After everything the two of you had been through, he was pretty sure he deserved this slice of peace. He deserved to grow old with you at his side, watching as his children actually surpassed their teenage years and became adults.

Five years ago, with a fresh bite mark proudly adorning his neck, Joel had gone to the river to refill the bucket after a failed breakfast attempt, only for the but of a rifle to slam into his face and knock him out. The next few weeks had been hell, followed by even more hell once he finally found you hacking soot out of your lungs as you crawled out of a burning chapel. He shivered, thinking about how his heart had broken in two as he cracked your ribs under the weight of his CPR compressions. It was like Joel was dying alongside you but the second you opened your eyes, gazing upon him for the first time in weeks, he felt himself come back into his body once more.

The chaos that ensued after your near death experience was still something Joel couldn’t quite wrap his head around. Paul’s remaining men coming after the two of you as you healed in a lumpy childhood bed was one thing. But the cult that had stripped you naked and tried to bleed you dry in an abandoned pool? If Joel hadn’t seen it himself he would’ve thought it was bullshit. And just when he was sure he had you secured within the safe embrace of Jackson’s walls, his future had almost been snatched away again. First by the ghosts of your shared pasts, and then by the residents who had shown up to the house with pitchforks.

Joel chuckled, thinking back on that day with kinder eyes now that a few years had passed. One thing about life was that it was filled with ups and downs, with hard losses and victories. And it just so happened that for whatever reason, mother nature had been on his side that day when the both of you were thrown face first into carnal need. Nobody could have predicted it, especially since you had only gotten the go ahead by the former town doctor to get down and dirty if you so dearly pleased. But for whatever reason, your heat had come back with a vengeance, tearing a rut out of Joel like it was nothing. He remembered you climbing him like a tree in front of the frustrated group of locals, growling at them and begging him to take you inside regardless of the crowd.

The brief interview the both of you had been forced to sit through after Maria sent the residents away was a blur now. All Joel could remember was feeling extremely uncomfortable that his little brother and sister in law were around to see his cock straining against his jeans as he tried to muscle through the biological response you had ripped out of him. Meanwhile, he had also been tasked with trying to keep his heat fueled mate from ripping everyone’s throats out. Luckily, the small group of people you called family had come to defend Joel’s family, an act of loyalty that he would never be able to fully thank them for.

With the looky loos dispersed, the next three days had been intense, filled with Joel trying desperately to stake his claim on you, as if he could somehow fuck a protection spell over you in case the worse came to pass. And you were no different, spouting possessive words as you marked in any way you could. He wasn’t entirely sure, but the event seemed to have prolonged the experience, so much so that the two of you had been dehydrated and exhausted by the time it finally petered off. There was no conversation about the situation during the relentless bouts of pleasure, only a silent understanding that whatever happened, you would deal with it as a team.

Nevertheless, Joel had been sure that he would be lugging bags across Wyoming when the dust settled. Of course he never told you that, preferring to leave it until you had both regained some sanity, but he couldn’t help the feeling that he was running out of time in the home the two of you had made. The anxiety that had plagued his being had fueled his depravity, as he tried not to think of the impossible task of keeping his two newborns warm and above all else, quiet, as the two of you returned to the cabin. Joel didn’t even want to go there, he wasn’t sure what sort of state it was in or how many supplies he had left, but it seemed like the only option if Jackson ousted his family. Nevertheless, when the dust had settled and his rut had finally quelled the heat raging inside of you, he was surprised to find that the sky had not fallen during his time away.

Joel had prepared himself for a war to protect his family from the scorn of Jackson. He had grimaced when you suggested a walk to the center of town, preferring to get it over with rather than wait it out, but what else could he do? After picking up the twins from Jake’s house, another factor that had him on edge, the two of you had set off to find Jackson’s fearless leader. Joel held Alba tight to his chest, so tight that the normally feisty newborn seemed to sense her father’s discomfort and relaxed in his arms.

Every passerby was a possible threat and Joel remembered asking you multiple times if you needed him to take Ellis. It wasn’t because he thought you weren’t strong enough to carry an eleven pound sleeping pup, it was because he was convinced the both of you would be sprinting out of town the second Maria caught wind of your freedom. Joel was the muscle, but you had all the speed, which meant that the twins would be safer in his grasp while you covered him from any incoming danger. As much as he hated to think about going to war with his mate, he trusted in your abilities to fend for your family. Except the fight that Joel was so sure of never came to pass. Upon reaching the main square and approaching his brother’s terrifying mate, he was shocked to find that his family was old news.

The incessant complaints of more than a few residents had dogged Maria at every turn while the two of you were indisposed, which had forced her to make an executive decision. There weren’t many options, either she tore her own family from their homes in the middle of what was the most intimate of times between mates, or she followed the path of least resistance. Maria had swiftly dismissed the two of you outside the dining hall that day, ignoring the questions sent her way about what the future would hold. Although she had been quick to dismiss any questions about nepotism, given the fact that the path she chose to follow just so happened to benefit her own family through marriage, Joel had his doubts.

Tommy too left the two of you wondering, as the beta was uncharacteristically silent on the matter when approached thereafter. Maybe Maria wasn’t quite as unbiased as everyone believed Jackson’s fearless leader to be, or maybe she just hated the thought of separating two pups from their parents. Either way, Joel knew that he’d spend the rest of his life being thankful that she had opted for the option that kept his family away from the horrors of the outside world.

The tale that had been concocted was just what the Jackson residents needed to spice up their monotonous lives, like something out of one of the many teen dramas Sarah used to make him watch. It featured the classic archetypes. There was your mother, the woman who had abused for so long that when her daughter went missing, she finally snapped. And there was Cooper, the incessantly disparaged younger brother who had almost had everything taken by Paul. A deal was supposedly made in secret once the two collaborators within Jackson were found, one which led to their eventual deaths. The entire town ate every bit of it up and gossip about the incident flooded the streets for months afterwards, each version getting more extreme than the last.

Joel almost wished he had been there to see the trial, but he knew that it was probably for the best that he had been too wrapped up in his rut. It would have been hard to watch two innocent people take the blame for the crimes he had committed, and even harder to keep you from jumping to their rescue. Not that they needed saving.

Much to Joel’s amusement, the town didn’t blame either parties for slaying the men that had worked alongside Paul’s former group of assholes and Aspen’s remaining faithful followers. All they got was a sharp slap on the wrist in the form of community service and a quick rise to the status of local legends. He tried not to be too miffed about it, reminding himself that he should be thankful that the two were willing to brave the extra attention for the sake of the people he held dear. Plus, Joel couldn’t get around the fact that at that time, his track record in Jackson was pretty awful, with everyone still remembering his grief fueled, drunken antics from years before. Still, the fact that they would’ve easily written his family off because of him had agitated him a bit, but he let it go.

Luckily, since that fateful day four years ago, Joel’s image had been slightly refurbished, which he attributed a large chunk of to his family’s reputation. It was hard to believe that Joel was a complete monster when his mate was the town doctor and the twins were so damn cute. And with his slight reputational rehabilitation, came a small perk in the form of a new job. Taking on the role as the handyman for Jackson was not something Joel had seen himself doing, especially with how most residents had avoided him like the plague during the first year of coming back to town. But after the relentless fighting he had faced for decades and two backbreaking years with the twins running circles around him, he was exhausted, and not just physically.

Joel was tired of kissing you goodbye, knowing that you would be worried sick until he rode through those gates again. He was tired of the forever changing patrol schedules, of leaving his family alone in the dead of night or on hectic mornings when neither of the twins felt like cooperating with their parents. He was tired of missing things whenever something went bump in the night outside of Jackson’s walls, like the time he had missed Ellis standing for the first time while he was taking down a wayward group of infected. So, after a long conversation with his beloved sister in law that had ended with him literally begging her, he gave up his spot on the patrols for simpler employment, the kind he had done before the outbreak.

There was a never ending list of things for Joel to tinker with in Jackson and for the first time in a long time, he was actually proud of his work. Sure, it wasn’t the most glamorous job, but it was what he knew, and he was good at it. He spent his days filling an endless supply of work orders, fixing broken things and supervising construction jobs until he could sprint home to his family. It was a perfectly uncomplicated life, one that he had assumed to be off the table for him since that devastating day in 2003, and he fucking loved it.

Despite the fact that raising two rambunctious kids was at times back breaking work, Joel tried his best to rise to the occasion. There had been multiple occasions where he felt he might crack under the pressure, but luckily he had a good foundation. He had you, someone who walked by his side, unshaken by the things that would make even the mightiest of alphas shake in their boots. It was because of you that Joel was sure he could do it all and more. The two of you had formed a united front for the rowdy pups that were weaving between the trees in the backyard, giving what the other lacked so that the twins would never go without. Which was why Joel wasn’t surprised to hear your concerned voice come from behind him as Alba shoved Ellis into the dirt with a wicked grin.

He didn’t blame you for worrying about their wrestling, you had never had a sibling to fight over toys with. If only you had seen him and Tommy at their worst; practically strangling each other over shared action figures, or shoving the unexpecting party into a pile of horse shit when mom and dad weren’t looking. Perhaps then you would understand that the harmless tussling of two four year olds with weak limbs was nothing to write home about. In fact, as long as it didn’t get too rough Joel sanctioned it, knowing that it would make bedtime ten times easier.

“Shouldn’t we be doing something about that?,” you asked, making him turn from the scene unfolding outside.

Joel lit up at the sight of you clad in a set of light blue scrubs, beautiful as ever. He smiled wide, unable to tamp down the giddiness he felt as he stepped forward to embrace the woman that had set his soul ablaze. Dropping a loving kiss into your hair, he indulged in a heady whiff of your scent, as if it had been days rather than hours since he smelled it. There was a slight bite of chemicals, likely from the antiseptic used at the clinic, but he ignored it in search of a hit of the good stuff, of the delicious smell of his scent nearly overtaking your own for the first time in four years. Joel’s scent mostly cloaked your own as it pumped out of your pores, signaling to everyone in town that it was his pup you were carrying. And if his scent wasn’t enough, the swell between your hips was getting harder to ignore, proudly boasting yet another addition.

This pup, much like the last two, had taken you both by surprise. Except that it wasn’t like before, when Joel had deluded himself into thinking everything would be fine each time he spilled inside of you, only to freak out when nature came knocking. He didn’t fear being a father anymore and after the twins had surpassed the terrible twos, he even humored your subtle hints about adding another to the mix. However, after four years of constant lovemaking, whether it was fueled by hormone induced mania or not, there was no sign of another life. It didn’t matter that Joel had stopped trying to pull out mere months after the twins were born, or that you locked your ankles around his waist to keep his cum plugged inside almost every time; your womb remained empty.

Joel had chalked it up to his age, assuming that his swimmers had probably gone dormant with time. He was aware that before the outbreak there were some alphas who were crazy enough to have kids well into their eighties, but after a lifetime of endless physical injuries and the inability to test his sperm count, he convinced himself that his reproductive abilities had somehow been compromised. Who knows? He had been stabbed and shot so many times in the abdomen, maybe something had gotten nicked. There would be no way of knowing if Ellis and Alba were miracle babies, and with you being a perfectly healthy candidate for motherhood, he knew that it had to be him that was the problem.

Which was fine, Joel didn’t mind the twins being the only children he would have with you, they were more than enough. Still, he couldn’t help feeling guilty about not being able to give you the one thing you wanted, the one thing he was specifically designed to give his mate. Although you had adamantly claimed it was fine, that you were perfectly happy with the life you had been given, he saw the yearning you felt as you walked by one of the few pictures of the twins that hung along the walls of the house, especially the one that had been taken when they were barely a month old. Or the jealousy that you had tried to hide when Maria gave birth to a little girl two years earlier. Or the way you looked at even your best friend’s incessant additions to his family.

The longing on your face was enough to break Joel’s heart and so he kept trying for you, even though he was sure it was a lost cause. What else could he do? To reject your attempts would be to admit the truth, that the likelihood of another pup was probably slim to none and that it would probably be best if it was dropped altogether. Nevertheless, you remained persistent, ignoring every sign that the attempts were futile for yet another year, until he had completely forgotten why you were so keen on jumping his bones to begin with. Which of course, was when it happened.

After an exhausting illness had knocked you down at the end of May, accompanied by a familiar distaste for meat, it became clear that a test needed to be taken. Joel had dropped the twins off at Tommy’s that night, terrified of what the fallout would be if you weren’t pregnant. However, nothing could have prepared him for what he came home to that night. He had been ready for an average, vaguely tense stroll to the clinic with his mate, only to be forced into a set of dark clothes so that he could sneak through town like some sort of burglar.

For the last year, the clinic had been run by a new head honcho, you. The training with the previous doctor had been completed just before the twin’s second birthday, allowing the elderly woman the luxury of finally being able to retire. It had taken almost a year for you to get the hang of handling the ins and outs of being in charge, which was why you didn’t want to shock the nurses who had just gained trust in their fearless leader. According to you, there was no reason to start a panic about maternity leave for what could be the flu. So, the two of you had used the cover of night to sneak through Jackson, infiltrating the clinic like it was some sort of grand heist rather than a trip across town for a pregnancy test.

Of course, that was the day where the clinic was fresh out of tests, meanwhile the ancient ultrasound machine had broken for the millionth time. With no other option, you decided to do it the old fashioned way, hoping like hell that you were far enough along for there to be a heartbeat. Joel had sat patiently as you dug the stethoscope out of your desk, grumbling about the clinic’s lack of supplies until your hands slid across the cold metal. He took a deep breath as you shoved the buds in your ears, watching as you pressed the circular end to your abdomen. It took a few slight adjustments but then he saw it, the way your eyes lit up with a gasp before you tore the ear buds out so that he could listen. With shaky hands he had taken the stethoscope, straining to hear it. You shifted a bit and there it was, a little heartbeat fluttering in his good ear, a new life carving more space for themselves inside of his chest.

The two of you had cried, holding each other and making nonsensical promises that ended in a round of passionate lovemaking against your desk. It was stupid to fuck in your workplace, especially when any nonsuspecting Jackson resident in need of medical attention could waltz in, but neither of you cared, too hopped up on the good news to stop. Joel had plowed into you with abandon, incessantly praising you as his cheeks burned from smiling so hard.

That night had been one month ago and Joel was still riding that high as his two four year olds battled in the yard. It was different this time around. The first time he hadn’t been ready to be a father again. He was scared shitless for your entire pregnancy, constantly doubting himself and praying that he wouldn’t fuck it up again. Tragedy had chased him before and he was convinced that at any moment, his life would collapse in on itself yet again. But none of that happened, Joel had two healthy pups and a woman who loved him. And in four to five months, there would be another pup for him to care for. There was nothing for him to fear anymore, only the satisfaction of having a life that was truly worth living.

“Joel?,” you huffed, breaking Joel from the spell he was under.

He hummed, “They’re fine baby, best they get it out now before bedtime.”

A frustrated sigh fell from your lips, but after one more glance towards the backyard, you nodded. Joel kissed your cheek, trying to distract you from the wrestling pups. They would be fine. If they truly needed a time-out from one another, he knew that one of them would have already started screaming at the top of their lungs.

“How are my girls today?,” Joel murmured, pressing his hands against the bump to hold his pup.

You snorted, “Puh-lease, you always think it’s going to be a girl.”

“I do not.”

“Mm hmm, yeah you do. It’s exactly what you said last time,” you pointed out.

“I mean… I was kinda right though,” he shot back.

A snort came from you, followed by a smack to his arm that made him squawk and chuckle. With an almost audible roll of the eyes, you brushed past him to get a better look at the pair that tussled in the grass.

“Only half right,” you grumbled as you peered out at them.

The snake had been long since forgotten, probably yanked from Alba’s hands by her older brother once it had gotten too close to his face. Although Ellis had been screaming bloody murder just moments before while his sister was chasing him, Joel knew all too well that his son had been blessed with his father’s temper. A fear of snakes could easily be overcome once a certain threshold had been reached, a threshold that Alba loved to test at every turn.

Ellis wasn’t like his sister, he wasn’t sporty or sociable. He preferred to spend his days quietly coloring or pretending to read books that were far too advanced for his age, though Joel had a sneaking suspicion that he knew more than he was letting on. If Ellis wasn’t somewhere with a book, he was shadowing one of the grownups in his life, either following you through the clinic like he was some sort of intern or watching Joel fix something in his workshop like he was learning the ropes. It was crazy how much of a little man the boy was. There were times when Joel wondered if his real son had been swapped at birth for a younger version of himself. He couldn’t help it. Every time Alba’s antics were shut down by a pointed look from her older brother, all he could see was himself and Tommy.

However, unlike her Uncle Tommy, Alba didn’t often push for more than Ellis could give. Usually, one outburst was all she was looking for, as if shattering the illusion of his maturity was the only thing she was after. She was smart enough to walk the line of appropriateness like a tightrope to keep herself from getting in trouble. When Alba wasn’t picking on her brother, she spent most of her time tracking down one of her parents to play whatever needlessly complicated game she had made up at the top of her head, or begging anyone that would listen to take her to the park so that she could blow off some steam. Joel was close to building her an at home gym so she could exhaust herself, anything to keep her from bouncing off the walls.

They were complete opposites, which meant that a bit of tussling was necessary to keep any grudges from forming. Joel peered out the window, chuckling a bit as Ellis finally gained the upper hand in the brawl. It took a lot to get his son to engage, but Joel was glad to see him rough house like a regular four year old. They fought over a toy, forming a small heap of flailing limbs as they grappled with each other. It made him laugh to see the doll being fought over, especially since he knew Ellis didn’t give two shits about it, likely trying to get a bit of revenge on his sister for bothering him. The kicks were a bit more enthusiastic than before, teetering on the verge of parental intervention, but Joel held back to allow them the chance to correct themselves.

“I don’t like it when they play like that,” you commented, the small crease between your brows deepening as you watched the twins roll around in the dirt.

Joel sighed and stepped closer, wrapping his arms around you so that he could bring his chin to your shoulder. He smiled at the two, remembering the scar on his left elbow that he had earned from a particularly rowdy game of Kill The Carrier with Tommy and the neighborhood kids.

“Relax honey, s’not like that. They’re brother and sister, a bit of play-fighting is good for them. Plus, if one of them wasn’t keen, you know that we’d fucking hear it. Hell, the people manning the gates would probably hear those two hollerin’,” Joel pointed out.

Alba was the worst for it, but both of them had the strongest lungs he had ever seen. During their time as toddlers, Joel was perpetually thankful that the hearing in his right ear had all but disappeared in the years since settling in Jackson, as it ensured that their shrill cries were at least somewhat drowned out by years of damage. Meanwhile, you had been left with ringing ears and splitting headaches that were so bad that tylenol had become your best friend until they grew out of it.

“I guess you’re right,” you sighed, melting back into him.

Joel leaned down and kissed your cheek, ghosting his lips over your neck for a second for another hit of the delicious aroma you emitted. He smiled against your skin as you tilted your head back a bit, allowing him more room to peck at the sensitive skin. His mouth watered as he peppered kisses all over, trying to keep his groans to a minimum so that the moment wouldn’t be over before it had even started. Lately, the twins seemed to have a second sense for when their parents were about to engage in some much needed adult time. Joel knew that, but he was hoping that if he stayed as still and silent as one possibly could while sucking hickeys into their mate’s neck, he would fly under their radar. However, the warning you let out soon pulled him from that fantasy.

“J-Joel, wait. You’ve gotta - shit - gotta cut it out. We’ve got incoming.”

“Mom! Dad! Alby’s mean, she chased me wib a snake!,” Ellis exclaimed, causing his sister to immediately come to her own defense.

“Well Lis is a stoopid butface who's scwared of snakes AND he took my dolly!,” Alba shouted back, sticking her tongue out at him for good measure.

“You’re the butface!,” he gasped indignantly, like being called a butface was some affront to his personal character.

At times, Joel had to remind himself that he was the adult, which meant that he couldn’t laugh at the petty arguments of two wound up four year olds. Plus, he was not completely without blame for the situation at hand, as quite a few cookies had slid their way after he picked them up. Joel couldn’t help it, all it took was one flash of the puppy dog eyes and he was folding like a piece of wet paper. Still, he knew that he had to stay strong before the two of them started screaming about who was the biggest buttface of them all.

“Alba Miller, that ain’t a very nice thing to say. And what have I told you about buggin’ your brother? If Ellis doesn’t wanna play, you gotta let him be. Now, say sorry to him,” Joel admonished from your side.

“M’sorry Lis,” Alba mumbled, kicking at the carpet as she stared at her feet.

He nodded at his daughter’s apology, “Thank you sug’, now how about you Mr. Man?”

Joel turned towards his son with a raised eyebrow. Ellis sighed, stubbornly flashing his eyes at his father’s request. It had always been that way, from the second Ellis refused to take his first breath, to when he had ignored Joel’s attempts to get him to look up during tummy time, to his adamant rejection of any set of clothes that wasn’t picked out for him by his mom. Whereas Alba didn’t care enough to be tied down by a simple apology, or the slight corrections from either of her parents, Ellis was tougher to break.

Well, for Joel at least. The both of them listened to you unconditionally, while he often felt like they were only humoring his corrections. He didn’t blame them, he too hung off your every word.

“I’m sorry Alby, you’re not a buttfwace,” Ellis gritted out, glaring at his father one last time for good measure.

Being chased around by a snake and then tackled to the ground wasn’t typically what the four year old boy preferred to be doing, so Joel allowed his poor excuse for an apology slide. If the discarded coloring book and crayons that laid against the lawn were any indicator, it had been an ambush.

“Why don’t you two go get cleaned up? I brought home some chili that Uncle Jake made for supper,” you suggested.

The pups looked at each other, raising their eyebrows in question before they tore out of the sunroom like two bats out of hell. They shoved each against the table in the breakfast nook, against the walls, against anything that could slow the other’s pace as they raced towards the stairs. It was only when you chastised them that they slowed down, although Joel knew that it was all for show. The second that they passed the dining room, which marked them as officially out of their parent’s sight, the pace picked up once more.

“God, they’re going to make me go gray,” you groaned, sighing as you turned back toward him.

Joel snorted, “Guess that leaves me shit out of luck then, I’m already there.”

What little brown Joel had left in his hair when the two of you met was almost gone, as the salt had started to completely cover the pepper, but he couldn’t complain too much about it. At least he wasn’t balding, and you didn’t seem to care. Plus, there was something about seeing himself grow old that felt like a victory. He never thought he’d live long enough to see it.

“I love it, you’re my handsome silver fox baby,” you cooed, lovingly raking your hands through his curls, “I wouldn’t want you to change a thing, just keep being your sexy self.”

“Whatever you say darling,” he hummed, eyes sliding closed as you rubbed circles into his scalp, “I’ll dye it fucking pink if ya want, just keep doing that.”

A giggle came from you as Joel slumped forward, pressing his face into your neck so he could huff at the skin there. The magic of your fingers soothed each muscle in his body, until he felt like he was practically asleep standing up. Joel could spend eternity as he was, basking in the scent of his pregnant mate while she rubbed all his aches away. But he knew that with two pups, that was a pipedream.

Until the kids were grown, Joel would have to make due with these scattered moments. But oddly enough, he didn’t mind being resigned to a few seconds of solace each day. It just made the time all the more special. And in that particular moment, with all of his strained muscles being addressed, he couldn’t help but smile at how perfect this small piece of the puzzle was.

“Did you fix the breaker in the schoolhouse?,” you asked, speaking directly into his left ear so that he could hear you properly.

Joel nodded groggily, “Yeah, it didn’t take me long. S’why I picked ‘em up so early.”

“You know,” you chuckled, “Most dads would be thrilled to have some downtime. You could have left them with my mom and gone home to take a nap. With how late you stayed up with Ellis last night, I wouldn’t have blamed you for it.”

How terrifying had it been for Joel to wake up as he had the previous night. The first thing he had seen was a small face that resembled his own, peering down at him with the focus of a deranged serial killer. Without even blinking, his son had stood there in complete silence, causing Joel to nearly jump out of his skin. Close to cardiac arrest, he had almost lunged at the small demon in front of him to protect his pregnant mate that was asleep beside him.

But as the post-dream haze faded, Joel was relieved to find that it was just Ellis who had crept into his room after a bad dream. So instead of chanting the tiny bits of scripture he could barely remember from Sunday school to ward off a child-shaped demon, Joel spent his night reading to his son. He held Ellis close to his chest for hours, rocking him and whispering about Amelia Bedelia’s adventures until the little boy had finally dropped off around four thirty that morning.

“Wasn’t so bad, he had another bad dream about fucking David Bowie,” Joel groaned, shaking his head at the thought of Ellis’s blubbering about the goblin king, “Plus, I wanted to see them.”

“We shouldn’t have let them go see that stupid movie,” you sighed, “But in my defense, I had never seen Labyrinth before! Tommy said it was supposed to be for kids.”

Joel had a cheeky response, but a loud BANG echoed from upstairs, signaling that at least one of the human tornadoes were on their way. Given the swiftness of the little feet and how the steps halted at the room next to the bathroom to pound at the door until a muffled voice snapped at her to cut it out, it had to be Alba.

“Well, I guess I can’t be mad at you for wanting to spend time with them,” you sighed, feigning a disappointment that caught his attention, “It’s a shame though, I heard you had left work early, so I thought I’d join ya. Had something special planned but whatever, there’s always next time.”

He blinked, “What? What did you have in mind?”

“I thought we could pick up where we left off this morning.”

Joel choked on his own spit, his eyes widening as he thumped himself on the chest to cough it back up. Face was beet red, he finally caught his breath and narrowed his eyes at your sly grin. It had been far too long for you to be poking the bear, especially with how close he had been that morning. The two of you had gotten up early, both half dead from lack of sleep but desperate as he shimmied you out of the baggy sweatshirt of his that you had slept in.

Neither of you had cared about how tired you both were or the morning breath, all that mattered was finally getting to feel each other after weeks of failed attempts. Joel had almost made it, teasing your drenched slit with his throbbing cock when a flurry of fists had slammed against the locked door. The doorknob had shuddered from one of them trying to figure out a way to break in and he sighed, groaning as he felt the moment slipping away. With no other choice, he had pulled away and dressed the two of you quickly before they beat down the door.

Joel was quite literally starving, ready to die if he didn’t feel the tight embrace of your walls around him soon. He didn’t know how many times he had given himself a pitiful release in the few spare moments he had, holding up a pair of your used panties to his nose as he imagined what it would be like to have you splayed out for him once again. It was starting to get downright pathetic. And there you were, waving a first class dinner right in front of his face like it was some sort of joke. But little did you know, he already had a plan set in motion for tonight that would ensure the two of you got some much needed alone time.

“Christ honey, ya can’t just say things like that to me. How am I supposed to live with myself knowing that I could be breakin’ that sweet pussy open right now?,” Joel whined.

“Guess you’ll have to make it up to me with a little midnight snack,” you giggled, nipping at his throat in a way that made his stomach clench, “I just hope they actually stay in bed this time, it's been too long baby.”

Joel smiled wide, thanking his lucky stars that he had secured a babysitter as another playful nip to his pulse point had him close to laying you out on the ratty old futon in the sunroom. It’s not like it would have been the first time he had fucked you on it, but he refrained. Now was not the time for a quickie.

“Don’t you worry sweetheart, we just gotta put ‘em down. I’ve already asked and your mama is gonna do the rest for us,” Joel murmured.

“My mom? What? Why?,” you asked, abruptly pulling back from his heated skin.

He shrugged, “Figured we could use some alone time honey, so I called in the big guns. Been too long, I need ya all to myself. Wanna take care of my girl tonight, without anyone interrupting us. S’that alright darling?”

Joel smiled at your enthusiastic nod, leaning down to steal one soft kiss from your lips as two sets of uncoordinated feet touched down on the first level of the house and sped towards the kitchen. The two of you broke apart with matching sighs, giving each other one last longing glance before turning towards the door. He motioned for you to go first, watching your hips sway as you left him behind in the sunroom. It took all of his strength not to lunge forward and tear your jeans off with his teeth, but the two little gremlins that raced into the room put any thought of that sort to bed. There were more important tasks that needed to be attended to, like getting them to sleep so that he could whisk you away for the night.

After dinner, Joel was meticulous with how he spent the rest of the night. He kissed you on the cheek, promising to watch them while you did some self care until your mom came. First, he challenged the twins to a race in the backyard, which inevitably led to multiple rounds due to the fact that they were almost as competitive as their mother. All he had to do was lose a couple times and they ousted him from the activity, labeling him as a slowpoke before they continued to fight it out for number one. As they exhausted themselves, Joel cleaned the discarded toys around the yard, biding his time until one of them said uncle. In the end, it was Alba who won the final round, as Ellis had finally decided that the bragging rights were not worth the effort.

Next, Joel worked through a plethora of books, trying to tire their minds as much as their bodies. He kept going until they slumped against the couch, their eyelids starting to flutter as they fought sleep, which signaled that they were ready for the final step. After filling the tub with the salts you made him use when his back hurt, Joel placed them in the warm water and watched as every bit of fight left in them melted away. They were both so out of it that they didn’t even react when their grandmother knocked on the front door, too busy trying to keep themselves upright to notice the muffled sounds of the two of you talking in the entryway.

Joel gently rinsed the shampoo from their curls, chuckling at their little yawns and sleepy sighs. As tired as they were, it was easy for him to maneuver them however he wanted, which thankfully cut the usual bath time in half. It didn’t take long for the twins to begin to sway and he plucked them from the steaming water, chuckling as they groaned through the process of him drying and redressing them.

Even with as tired as he was, Ellis refused to go to bed first, clinging to one last bit of stubbornness for the sake of reasserting his place as the eldest. Alba was too sleepy to argue, already gone by the time her head hit the pillow. She didn’t even react as Joel drew the sheets up around her and placed a kiss against her chubby cheek, completely dead to the world. He whispered a soft - love ya sugar - before he pulled away, smiling as Alba snuggled deeper into her pillow in lieu of a response. It was only when he turned around that he noticed that Ellis was also fast asleep at the foot of her bed, too overcome with exhaustion to stay awake despite his adamant refusal just moments before. Joel smiled at the sight of the two of them, shaking his head as he slipped his arms under his son to carry him towards his own bedroom.

Since their third birthday, the twins had started to sleep apart. Ellis had been placed in the room next to the plum bathroom, as he was more likely to need it in the middle of the night. Which left Alba in the room at the end of the hall, due to the fact that she slept like a damn log no matter what. A storm could blow through the house and she’d be none the wiser. It had been a hard separation, one that neither of them particularly liked at first, but the change was necessary.

Their petty arguments and late night shenanigans had started to get out of hand. All it had taken was one midnight adventure into the backyard for a game of tag and the line was drawn. Joel had almost passed out when he had passed by their empty room that night, letting out an actual cry for help that had lifted you from the depths of sleep in an instant. Half cocked fears had driven him to a state that he hadn’t been in for years as he tore through the house, tears threatening his waterline as he convinced himself that the past had somehow finally caught up to him. Meanwhile, you had been ready to call in the calvary, rightfully believing the same as him. However, after the two of you had looked outside and seen them playing in the dark, the decision to separate them had been made in an instant.

Plus, with another Miller on the way, their old room would soon find a new occupant. It still looked the same as it had when they were infants, although it had gone through a couple much needed updates for the incoming pup. All of the sets of two had been split apart, with the extras carefully stowed away in the basement in hopes that another surprise addition wasn’t on the way. A new coat of paint brightened the walls, along with a few paintings that their excited siblings and cousins had made for them. All the room needed now was the pup.

As Joel walked into Ellis’s new room, careful not to trip over the art supplies and books that littered the floor, the pup let out a small whine. He slowed as he neared the bed, trying not to jostle his son as he lowered him onto the sheets. A hand came up and gripped Joel’s collar, as if even in sleep Ellis knew that his father was trying to make a hasty escape, and he smiled. Stubborn didn’t even begin to cover it when it came to this one.

“S’alright buddy, your Papa’s gotcha. M’here sweet boy,” Joel mumbled into his son’s ear as he slowly pulled the tiny fist away from his chest, “I love ya buddy, but ya gotta relax. S’alright, your mama and I will be back before ya know it, just sleep Ellis.”

Ellis relaxed at his father’s words, completely knocked out by the time the quilt was drawn up under his chin and a kiss was dropped into his hair. With both of the twins asleep, Joel eased himself down the hall, careful to avoid all of the creaky spots along the way. The last thing he needed was a restless child coming back from the dead while he was trying to make a break for it with their mom. As quietly as he could, Joel slipped into the bedroom, holding his breath for a moment after the door clicked shut. When two sets of feet didn’t come bursting down the hall, he sighed in relief, thanking his lucky stars that the plan actually worked.

“Did they give you any grief?,” you called out.

Joel walked over to the bathroom, leaning against the door frame with a grin on his face as you smeared a clear goop all over your face. It was the sweet smelling stuff that you coveted, forever trading far too much for a small bottle in order to ward off any wrinkles. He had laughed when you told him the reason behind the pricey trade, only to be snapped out of his joking mood by the glare you had sent his way. Joel had switched gears after that, reminding you that you were the most beautiful woman in the world, while also jokingly pointing out the fact that his own aged face was basically made of leather. That had earned him a smile, but the goop remained a part of your routine and he learned after that to keep his mouth shut about it.

“As much as I appreciate the down time, I can’t believe you managed to get them both in bed that fast completely by yourself. What did you do? Bribe them? I read two full chapters of my book AND did a full in-depth shower before my mom came, that literally never happens.”

He laughed, “Nah, I tired them out with some laps around the backyard and a bunch of books. All they needed was a hot bath and boom, out like a light. Ellis was asleep before we even got back to his room. He did stir a bit just before I got him down, but he was out again by the time I tucked him in.”

“Hmm, I bet he was faking it. Ten bucks says he gets up and sneaks in with his sister again tonight,” you challenged.

Joel laughed and shook his head.

“You don’t have ten bucks baby and even if ya did, what the hell would I do with it?,” he shot back.

“Shit, ten kisses then?”

“Yeah, alright sweetheart,” Joel agreed with a lovesick grin, ready to give them to you either way, “I’ll take that bet.”

You smiled and turned back towards the mirror to finish your routine. Meanwhile Joel drifted over to the sink, not to halt your movements, just simply wrapping his arms around you so that he could watch from over your shoulder. He took note of every step, following your fingers as they dotted some of the thicker goop under your eyelids. The soft circles you rubbed into the sensitive skin below your eye had him in a trance, a low hum rumbling in his chest as he slumped into you.

Joel’s chest tightened as you pressed back into his embrace, the warmth of your body against his chest making him sigh. The look you gave him in the mirror was worth a million words, a million lifetimes filled with nothing but utter bliss, but he’d have to settle for trailing loving kisses down the side of your neck for now.

The beauty of holding you in his arms was not lost on Joel, you were the only person who had ever crept through the cracks of his gnarled soul to catch a glimpse of the truth of his being and understand it completely. To be seen for who and what you are, that’s something people dreamed of even before the outbreak, or at least he had. The minx you were, you had come when he least expected you, infiltrating his self imposed imprisonment to tear open his chest and engrave your initials on the inside of his ribcage, forever marking him as yours. It made Joel want to swallow you whole, to weld his arms around you so that he could forever be a part of you, but he couldn’t. You were the sun, the stars, and everything in between, all a mortal man like him was bound to do was worship you and pray that it was enough.

“How am I supposed to focus when you’re doing that?,” you chuckled, sighing as he snuffled at the bite mark he had left years ago.

“Mmm, I have faith in ya honey. Just do your thing and I’ll keep lovin’ on ya,” Joel mumbled, voice muffled against the crook of your neck as he continued to nip at the skin there.

“Alright cowboy, how about you focus on getting ready, hm? I doubt my mom is going to be too happy if she hears us banging up here when we’re supposed to be heading out,” you reminded him, drawing him out the ocean of love and lust that your presence drowned him in.

“Yes ma’am.”

Joel gave you one last kiss, lingering for a few seconds longer before he abruptly slapped you on the ass and walked away. A faint whine slipped from your lips and he paused in the doorway, throwing a smug grin over his shoulder that had you rolling your eyes despite how flustered you were. Joel laughed and drifted over to the dresser, filled with nerve racking excitement for the night he had planned. He tugged off his dirty clothes with a cheesy grin still plastered on his face, slipping into a cleaner pair of jeans and one of the only shirts he owned that didn’t double as work clothes, only for a singular glance into the mirror to shatter his confidence.

For the first time in his life, Joel found himself wondering if his outfit was okay. He stared at himself, tugging at the fabric around his midsection and legs that had grown tighter in the last few years. It wasn’t that Joel was particularly unhealthy or overweight, his job in Jackson ensured that his body had remained strong. Nevertheless, four years of proper food and a comfortable life had left him with a softer tummy and thicker thighs. A flash of anxiety tightened all the muscles around Joel’s heart, ancient worries nipping at him that he tried his best to brush off. It was way too late in the game to be worrying about if you thought he was handsome or not. For Christ’s sake, you had birthed two of his kids and had another on the way. He shook his head, trying desperately to get it together before he let the panic get the best of him and called the whole thing off.

A frustrated sigh fell from Joel’s lips and he paused, dipping his fingers into the gel he had borrowed from Tommy to tame his curls. He raked his hands through the silver strands, downright disgruntled as he tried to convince himself that he didn’t look completely absurd. Sighing at the sight of himself, he decided to leave it and moved back out of the bedroom. If you loved him as much as you said, he supposed that his newly acquired thickness and aging features wouldn’t bother you.

Joel crept down the stairs, careful not to alert any restless pups as he made his way to the first floor. Babysitting the twins could be a handful, and he had promised that they would be asleep for your mother by the time she came. The last thing he wanted was to leave her with two excited grandkids after she had already been the one tasked with watching them all day. Especially with all she had done to ensure his plans went off without a hitch.

“Has she figured it out yet?,” your mother called from the couch as he touched down onto the first floor, marking her place in her book so that she could look up at him.

Joel shook his head, hoping like hell that he was right. Tonight had been a bit of an all hands on deck situation, which meant that he had to trust not one, but five other people to make it happen. Sure, he knew that Cooper, Maria, and even the woman in front of him could probably be trusted enough to keep a secret. But with two chatty-cathys like Jake and Tommy involved, Joel was in utter disbelief that the whole thing hadn’t fallen apart on day one.

“I think everyone kept their word but Jake and her are like two peas in a pod, so I ain’t completely sure,” he sighed, “Who knows, the clinic has been so swamped that she’d probably forget it if he did tell her. Reckon I could’ve left the damn thing right on the dresser and she’d probably would've walked right by it on the way to bed.”

She scoffed, “I’d prefer if you kept the ring somewhere safer than that until you have the chance to give it to her. I didn’t bring it halfway across the country and save it for over twenty years, hiding it from her stepfather and then those sick pricks who kept me in that damn brothel, just for you to lose it by being careless.”

“Yes ma’am, I-I didn’t uh… That was a dumb joke, I wouldn’t do that,” Joel answered quickly, face flush from the shift in her tone.

The woman could still be as ornery as ever, but Joel knew enough not to fight her on the subject. He was right, it was a dumb joke to make, especially when he knew how precious of a thing it was that she had given him. In the time since her arrival to Jackson, your mother had softened a considerable amount, especially for her grandkids and the daughter she was still trying to mend fences with. The kindness had even been extended to Jake’s family, as well as Tommy’s, but Joel was still kept at an arm’s length.

Joel didn’t blame her, he probably wouldn’t have liked anyone his older daughters introduced to him if they had made it that far, and he had a funny feeling that the same would be true for the twins. Who could possibly be perfect enough to deserve his kids? They would have to be a world class children’s surgeon, who somehow doubled as a school teacher and volunteered with the elderly, all while curing every disease known to man, in order to get his approval. Afterall, they deserved the best. Still, Joel knew that there was no way your mother hated him entirely. If she did, she wouldn’t have given him her most prized possession. That had to count for something.

“I went up there to help Jake with a few things and it,” she stopped and cleared her throat, “... It looks nice Joel, really nice. I think she will appreciate it. After everything that I… Well, all I was ever worried about was keeping her alive, so much so that I couldn’t see how miserable she was. I’m glad she has someone who does things for her, someone that keeps her safe AND happy.”

The compliment was rare, so rare that Joel wasn’t sure what to say for a moment. Some of the ice in her eyes had melted and for the first time ever, he could see a small twinkle of something. A quiet excitement radiated off of her, so subdued that the untrained eye would have missed it, but it was there. A veil of grief still masked it, like many of the other positive emotions she exuded, but he could see how happy she was for you despite her own pain. Joel understood that grief, could sense how hard this was for her as someone who had lost the only man she had ever loved, and he wished there was something he could say. But Joel only knew of the past from your perspective, and he knew even less about the father you had lost well over twenty years ago. There were no words that could fix that type of pain, so instead he refocused on her praise.

“Thank you, I want it to be perfect. I love her so damn much and I uh… Well, I know that it ain’t much but I want her to feel um - to feel…,” Joel trailed off, slightly uncomfortable gushing about his mate in front of such a severe woman.

She waved off Joel’s attempts at an explanation, giving him a look of understanding that calmed his frayed nerves.

“It isn’t about material possessions,” she sighed, looking away from him, “Her father and I never married, but that was my choice. Abe showed his love in other ways instead. He built me a house, he let me pursue my career over his, he gave me a daughter who is so much like him that it hurts sometimes… The ring didn’t matter to me and he knew that.”

“So why did you keep it?,” Joel froze as her gaze snapped back towards him, fearing he might have overstepped, “I mean, shit. I’m sorry ma’am, I don’t know why I asked that. That’s not really any of my business, I just meant -”

“It’s fine, you should know if you’re going to give it to her. I hated the thought of it, being someone’s wife just felt like admitting defeat to me. She never met my parents, but they were hard people, very strict and religious. God, I hated them so much but it’s funny, you always end up becoming the one thing you never wanted to be,” she chuckled.

Joel felt his heart break for the unfortunate woman, standing there in silence as she worked through the past she tried hard to avoid. He wondered if you knew any of this. There had been many conversations, hard and awkward as they may be, between you and your mother since settling in Jackson. It had helped the two of you to come together, but he knew there were still a lot of things she hadn’t been able to fully express to you just yet.

“Anyways, none that matters now I guess. I met her father and I finally had a family. He understood, so he never pushed me to marry him… Even if his mom was always asking when she’d see us under the chuppah,” she laughed, softening as she remembered your grandmother, “When she died, Abe took her ring for our daughter. She was the only granddaughter so…”

“So, he figured it should go to her someday,” Joel finished.

“Yes, but it was more than that. She’s not like me, Joel. Even as young as she was when he died, Abe knew that she’d want it someday, that she’d want all of the romance that came with a commitment like that, just like he did. That’s why he kept it, because he knew her…,” she said wistfully, getting a little quieter as she added, “He was always so good at knowing people.”

A beat of silence filled the air and Joel didn’t move to fill it, letting her have a chance to breathe. This was the most your mother had ever spoken to him about… Well, anything. And the information session on the family you barely remembered? That was priceless. There was no way Joel was going to ruin it. He watched as she straightened up and peered into his eyes, looking directly into his soul as she continued.

“Everything good in her, all of that hope she has, comes from him. She is completely of him, not me. When Abe died, I promised to keep it for her until she found someone that would love her. I never gave it to that bastard Paul, I’d sooner toss it in a lake. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, but giving you that ring was not one of them and I know that her father would agree.”

Another beat of silence passed, one where Joel stood in quiet astonishment of your mother’s words. Never had any of that information been divulged to him. Of course you had told him stories about the father you had lost over the years but not many, which he attributed to either the pain that still lingered or the simple fact that you had only been five years old when he died. There were stories about ice cream trips, dressing up in silly costumes for Purim, and how he treated your family with such care, but that was it. Joel had been able to put together that he was a good man, but to learn more about him from an adult’s perspective, someone who could actually paint a picture that wasn’t faded around the edges, that was everything. And to be given the blessing of not just your mother, but the man who had loved you both so much? It was everything to him, as your mate, as a father himself.

“I… Thank you, I never knew any of that. She hasn’t uh… Her memories of him are few and far in between I think, so I still don’t know a lot about him, other than that he was a good man and that he really loved you two. I wish I could have known him,” Joel admitted.

She nodded, her mouth twisting in a way that made him want to reach out and hug her.

“You do, in a way. He was… warm, like her. And she knows people, just like he did, so much so that it used to scare me but now… Now I think it helped her figure out what she wants. That’s why I know she’ll say yes, she’s known what she wanted since day one,” your mother said.

“I-I don’t even know what to say, other than I love her and I promise that I won’t ever hurt her. All I want is to make your daughter happy,” Joel vowed, trying to keep himself from getting emotional in front of the stoic omega.

Above all else, even if your mother still absolutely hated Joel as she had after their first encounter in the arena, he needed her to understand that he would never do you harm. If it came down to it, he’d die before he ever let anything bad happen to you.

“I know,” she nodded, “Although, perhaps you should get better at giving explanations if you want her to say yes. The stuttering doesn’t sound very convincing and you should probably promise her more than just ensuring her safety. I think we both know she can hold her own.”

Joel chuckled, shaking his head at the dry jab, “Yeah, maybe you’re right about that.”

“Right about what?”

Whirling around, Joel was met with a sight that made him weak in the knees. The last days of June had been warm, which caused you to swap the scrubs out for a pair of shorts that

perfectly framed your ass, the denim tapering off mere inches away from the swell of it. If that wasn’t bad enough, the tighter than usual t-shirt you wore nearly drove him up a wall, as the evidence of his claim on you was straining against the fabric around your tummy. That and the deep v-neck almost gave Joel a stroke, but the presence of your mother kept any lewd thoughts from turning into actions. However, he couldn’t entirely let your beauty go unaddressed and marched over, greeting you with a kiss that certainly teetered on the edge of appropriateness. It was over much too soon but he made sure to make it count, even sneaking in a small dip that made you squeal and break away from him.

“Wow, what was that for?,” you panted, giggling as he pulled you back up.

“Y’look real pretty baby, just had to kiss ya.”

Entranced by the way you beamed at his compliment, Joel leaned back in, completely forgetting where he was. All he could focus on was your lips, so pretty and soft, practically calling to him. How could he leave them unkissed? Refusing to kiss the one who brought him back from the depths of hell would be a sin. However, when a throat was cleared Joel halted mid air, inches from reaching the plushness of your mouth once more. The two of you turned, breaking apart at the sight of the severe woman who cocked her hip out at the affectionate display.

“Ugh, please go,” she muttered, grimacing as she turned back towards her book, “The twins will be fine, I can watch them until noon if you want to sleep in. For the love of everything that is holy, just get out of here before you blind me. There’s only so much a woman my age can take.”

“Thanks mom,” you said with a sheepish grin, gesturing for Joel to follow you towards the door.

Joel nodded, thanking your mother one last time before the two of you practically sprinted out of there. He grabbed your hand as you stepped out onto the street, squeezing it every now and again in lieu of chatting. The summer air was the perfect temperature, not too chilly and not too hot, which soothed his dilemma about slipping a pair of jeans on rather than his only pair of shorts. Sure, you loved when Joel wore them, but who was he kidding? He was not a shorts type of guy and he was pretty sure the only reason you liked them so much was because they were much too tight around his crotch.

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?,” you asked excitedly, making him chuckle and shake his head, “Because we passed the cafe, town hall is playing Footloose tonight, which I doubt you want to see, and considering the fact that you don’t drink anymore and we already had supper, I can’t see us going to the Bison...”

“Ever heard of a surprise?”

You scoffed, “Yeah and they piss me off. C’mon, just tell me baby.”

Joel rolled his eyes, zippering his lips with one hand before he pretended to toss the key over his shoulder. He laughed as he felt you begin to drag your feet, leaving him no choice but to pull your dramatic ass along until you stumbled back into a normal pace. The sigh you let out as he forced you to walk normally was long and drawn out, but he knew that your own curiosity would be enough to convince you to follow him in the end.

“Guess this is it then, you’re finally going to murder me. You’ve played the long game Mr. Miller but here we are, five years later and the final phase is in motion at last,” you lamented.

Joel shook his head, keeping his mouth shut despite the fact that he knew you were trying to break him. The stable was in view, all he needed to do was keep your interest up long enough to get you on the back of a horse and outside of Jackson’s walls. If you would just stop rambling about his supposed plans to assassinate you, then maybe he could get you to the surprise without losing his mind.

It was a field trip Joel had thought about for quite some time but after much deliberation, as well as a quick logistics session with his brother, he had figured out how to do it in a way that was safe. While the pregnancy had made him more nervous about it, Tommy had promised to be nearby for the night with Cooper, the two of them holed up in a lookout tower with a walkie talkie in case anything went sideways. Aside from a few scans over the area every few hours, the agreement was that they would keep a wide berth so the two of you could be loud if need be. Joel was incredibly excited and terribly anxious about it, feeling like he was burning from the inside out while you continued to push his buttons for information.

“Listen honey, I ain’t telling you nothing. M’just gonna take ya on a little ride and then I’ve got a few things planned, s’all I’m gonna say. Now, I know you’re itchin’ to know but let me do this right baby, please,” Joel cut in, which thankfully silenced your long winded murder accusations.

Another look of skepticism was thrown his way but you nodded, allowing Joel to lead you into the stables and towards the jumpy horse that was somewhat of a family pet. Rusty still refused to take any other riders, but he seemed to understand that the twins were an extension of his owners, since they were the only other people that didn’t get immediately bucked off of his back. Meanwhile, the rest of Jackson remained shunned by the timid horse. Joel rolled his eyes as you approached the stallion, cooing at him like he was a sweet little puppy, rather than the grumpy brute he was.

“Don’t baby him darling, asshole nearly tore Eugene's arm off the other day when he stuck his hand in to give him a carrot. Fucker didn’t even care that he was getting a treat,” Joel warned, keeping an eye on the finicky beast as he secured a saddle overtop of him.

“Sh, don’t listen to him sweetie. I’m sure you had your reasons,” you murmured.

Joel rolled his eyes as you placed a kiss on Rusty’s muzzle, which was answered by a series of excited little nods from the horse that made you smile. He sighed and patted Rusty's side in defeat, shaking his head at the way you babied him. Someone as ancient as Eugene most certainly did not deserve to be whipped around by his coat sleeves, especially when all he was trying to do was give the stallion a treat, but Joel supposed that there was no use in keeping a grudge on an animal that had never shunned him or his family.

“Spoiled rotten,” Joel tsked, chuckling at the way you swatted at his arm in response.

Shaking his head, Joel led Rusty out from the stables, giving him one last look over before he pulled himself up into the saddle with an audible grunt. He hauled you up next, placing you directly in front of him rather than behind so that he could wrap his arms around you as he steered the two of you towards the gates.

“Ready darling?,” Joel whispered into your ear, noting the way you squirmed at the proximity.

“I-I’m ready,” you stuttered, giving him the green light to head towards the exit.

The guards at the gates had already been notified of the trip, which thankfully meant that the two of you were simply waved off rather than subject to the usual line of questioning. As he veered off to the right, Joel breathed a sigh of relief, letting the night air soothe his nerves. Would you like what he had planned? Fuck, he hoped so. Everything with the two of you had happened backwards, which meant he never really got the chance to try his hand at the whole romance thing. Not that he had ever been known for it before the outbreak, the best his hookups ever got from him was the usual aftercare and an offer of a paid cab ride home. And after the world ended? Well, let’s just say the quick fucks Joel had squeezed in here and there were dirty, more of a mean’s to an end. But once he met you, his soul mate, he suddenly felt the need to try.

There had been attempts. Joel had carved that rose years ago, but he had given it to you after he had fucked the shit out of you for days on end. Even after that, when he thought that he might finally have a chance to woo you, to show you how much you mean to him, the two of you had been separated for weeks. Hell, by the time Tommy had found the two of you entangled in the ski lodge, any thought of pursuing cutesy little things had gone out the window. The growing life inside of you had been his only concern, and after they were born, the twins took up any remaining free time that either of you had. There had been small gestures, like the desk he made you for your office at the clinic, or the breakfast he made you each morning, or the song he wrote you for your last birthday, but it wasn’t enough. You deserved more.

Joel needed to get better at the grand gestures, especially since his competition was you. In a world where so many commodities had become unavailable, one might think that gift giving would be nearly impossible, but you were annoyingly creative. Whether it be the long lost Fleetwood Mac CD you had found for him, or the way you had reinforced his favorite brown coat with fleece for the wintertime, or the lunch box you packed for him every day, you continuously bested him in making an effort.

It was his last birthday that had kicked Joel in the ass, and he had vowed that day to find a way to top it, even if it was the last thing he did. At first he had thought it was just a notebook, something he could use for jotting down measurements and supply lists for his job, but after some urging from you to open it, he was stunned into silence. A small collection of pictures, all taken from his brother, had been arranged for him in a small book that he now kept in his nightstand. It had a few pictures of the twins, of you, of Sarah, as well as a couple shots of the family he grew up with, but it was the last picture that had made him dissolve into a puddle of tears.

There, on the very final page of the book, framed with terrible drawings of rockets and other space themed decorations, was a picture of Ellie. His mouth had dropped open, pure astonishment splitting his face wide open as he looked down at the girl he thought that he’d never see again making funny faces in a series of photobooth snapshots. He had no idea that the picture existed, or who the other girl was in the photos, but he swallowed it all down to ask:

“How?”

“Tommy said she left it in the room she stayed in. He kept it thinking she might be back for it someday but then ah… That didn’t happen so…,” you explained, trailing off when you caught the look on his face.

Fury had whipped through Joel in that moment, deepening all of the lines in his face and darkening his eyes. All he could feel was pure rage, not towards you, but towards the brother who had kept such a treasure away from him. How dare Tommy hold on to this, especially when Joel had devoted his life to grieving her for four years. How many bi-yearly visits had his brother sat on this information, babbling about Frankie while Joel floated above himself and tried to make all the appropriate noises that an older brother should? Not once had Tommy said a single word during his lowest period, but it was that exact thought that snapped him out of it, forcing him to grit his teeth and swallow down his resentment.

There was a reason Tommy hadn’t told him. Two things could have happened to the picture. Either Joel would have vehemently refused it in his initial drunken stupor, cussing his brother out for thinking he needed the reminder of his failure, or he would have begrudgingly accepted it later on and left it with the rest of his things at the cabin. There would be no getting it back, not when he had two living pups that needed him alive and a mate that would be broken by a pointless death. Understanding this, Joel had taken a deep breath, drinking it all in for another second before he turned to you and began to cry.

“Darling, I-I can’t,” he groaned, his brain unable to keep up with the wave of emotions that washed over him.

Without even thinking about it, Joel launched forward and welded his arms around you, squeezing you so tight that all of the air rushed out of you.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry. If you don’t like it, I totally get it. This was supposed to be a happy gift. God Joel, I didn’t mean to cross a line by digging up all of this shi-”

“No,” Joel whispered, pressing a kiss to the side of your face for good measure, “It’s perfect honey. The best gift I ever got, promise.”

That was months ago and yet, Joel still couldn’t get over the enormity of the gesture. That was why, as he neared his destination, he felt like he was about to implode. He wanted, more than anything in the world, to make you feel as special as you had made him feel that day. Joel had worked hard, scrounging up what he could and planning for months, but he was still nervous. What if you laughed at his efforts? Or worse, rejected them entirely? Sure, you had never done that before, but there was always a first time for everything. Afterall, Joel was not exactly known for being great at expressing his feelings. He tried to keep his head on straight for the last few minutes of the ride, even though he was sure that you could feel the layer of sweat that had soaked through the front of his shirt, but it was getting harder the closer the two of you got.

“Honey, I uh… Well I wanted to do something nice but if you don’t - I mean, if it fucking sucks, we could always do something else. I don’t want you trying to spare my feelings alright? I’m a big boy, I can take it and if this ain’t -”

“Joel,” you called, breaking him from the spiral.

“Yeah?”

“You’re better at this than you think. Everyday you make me and the twins feel so loved, it’s just what you do baby. I’m sure whatever this is, I’ll fucking love it,” you softly encouraged.

Joe smiled, feeling his chest crack open and all of the tension rush out at your words. He pressed a small kiss to the back of your neck in thanks, nuzzling it for a moment before he straightened up in his seat. It was your words that pushed him through the last bit of the journey, giving him just enough strength to veer off into the clearing he had scoped out where Rusty could graze.

“Alright, this is it,” Joel announced as he jumped down, holding out his arms for you to leap into.

But you didn’t move. Eyes going cartoonishly wide at the forest that Joel had to admit, somehow looked ten times more terrifying at night, you whipped your head around before looking down at him with a raised brow. He chuckled, reaching forward so that he could yank you off of Rusty’s back and wrap your legs around his waist.

“You’re really not beating the murder accusations Joel. I mean, all you need is a machete or something, and you’d be set to star in the world’s first post-apocalyptic slasher movie,” you teased as you pinched his side.

Joel barked a laugh, shaking his head at the slight sting as he set you down in front of him. There was a mischievous look in your eye, one that made his heart skip a few beats. He leaned in, brushing his lips over yours for just a moment before he pulled back with a sly grin.

“Machete is overdone, I’d be more original than that.”

That made you laugh, a true laugh that puffed Joel’s chest up a bit despite the anxiety that still weighed it down. The fear of rejection still wriggled like worms in the pit of his stomach, but the sound of your laughter was making it a bit more bearable.

“Oooh, like maybe your whittling tools? That could give it a little personal touch. They’d call you the Wayward Whittler,” you tried, nose scrunching up as it rolled off your tongue, “Bleh, forget that one. That sucks. You need something better, maybe something like…”

“The Crazy Craftsman?,” Joel tried, which earned a cackle from you.

“Yes! That’s perfect,” you laughed, throwing your head back in a way that made his heart soar, “Well, we’ve got it all figured out. Guess it’s time for me to die now, do your worst.”

Joel shook his head, smiling as he held a hand out for you to take. A matching grin graced your lips as you took it, giving him the last boost he needed to direct you towards what could either be a romantic night, or a travesty of his own creation.

“Sure thing sweetheart, but I was thinking we could go for a little walk first,” he joked, tugging you behind him as he weaved through the trees.

From just beyond the treeline, Joel could hear the rushing water and he hastened towards it, wanting to get it over with before his heart gave out entirely. The two of you broke through the forest, coming out along the side of the river that powered Jackson. It was further upstream than the dam, a conscious choice he had made to ensure that no confused workers would stumble upon any intimate scenes. That, and the fact that it was tucked away, hidden from any of the usual groups of raiders or infected that passed through the area. Plus, the swimming hole just before the bridge was a nice touch. Once upon a time, Joel had promised to take you swimming in the river he had found you by when the summer came. Although this was a substitute, the waters were just as cool and the company was just as gorgeous.

On the other side of the bridge, a lodge was built into the side of the rocky hillside. The wooden structure was slightly worn, the logs having been washed out by years of harsh weather, but the big windows and near perfect interior still boasted a rare beauty. It was the type of place where snobby rich pricks had probably escaped to when the stress of their fancy high rise had gotten to them, but not anymore. Now, it was just a beautiful building hiding in the middle of nowhere, waiting for someone like him to take advantage of it. There was a warm glow of candles coming from inside, beckoning the two of you inside. Joel turned to you with a hopeful smile on his face, praying that you weren’t completely apathetic towards the spot he had found.

“Oh wow, this is beautiful,” you gasped.

The look of wonder on your face was something to behold and Joel tried to burn it into his memory with all of his might. This night wouldn’t necessarily change things between you, but he wanted it to be an experience that you thought about from time to time, smiling to yourself as you completed whatever mundane task life in Jackson threw at you. He wanted it to be a story that the both of you told an edited version to the kids someday, so that they could understand just how much their parents have always loved each other. So, as the look on your face filled him with hope, he took one last deep breath and began.

“We met for the first time by a river,” Joel said, leading you across the bridge, “And I know that everything got messed up out there, but I still think about how it was at first, about how happy we were out there. That place was the first home we had. It was nothing but a coffin before you came around, but then it became a home, you made it a home.”

“Joel, this is so… What is this?,” you asked, voice thick with emotion already.

“Hush baby, I’m gettin’ there. Look, I know the cabin is miles away and that it didn’t exactly,” he gestured towards the polished lodge, “Well, it didn’t look like that, but I wanted to take ya back. That was the place where I met my favorite person, it was where we fell in love, it’s where we bonded. Fuck, who knows, it could be where our pups were made. Honey, it’s our start.”

“Baby,” you squeaked, eyes brimming with tears that quickly spilled over onto your cheeks.

He shook his head, pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead before he continued towards the lodge.

“Not yet sweet girl, there’s some more stuff inside first,” Joel implored, to which you gave a shaky nod.

Coming to a stop at the door to the lodge, Joel gave you one last hopeful look before he opened it up, gesturing for you to go first. His heart clenched as you stepped in, the sound of a sharp gasp falling from your lips making his head spin. He followed, desperately hoping that it was a good surprise as he carefully closed the door behind him.

Flowers, courtesy of the talented gardener your best friend was married to, covered nearly every surface. The air was filled with the smell of gardenias, dahlias, peonies, and a few more that Joel couldn’t quite place. Candles were scattered throughout the first floor, giving the room a warmth that made everything feel more intimate. There was a table filled with treats that you mooned over for more than a few seconds, eyeing all of the chocolatey goodness that was left for you with a small smile before you turned towards him again.

“Joel, you shouldn’t have. This is way too much,” you admonished, though there was no real heat behind the words, just a flustered warmth that made him blush.

“I wanted to baby, you deserve a little pampering every now and then. And I know you probably wanna dig into that chocolate, but there’s more to see upstairs first,” Joel directed, nodding towards the stairs to the second floor.

However good the first floor looked, nothing could have prepared either of you for the second. Although Joel had given his helpers a plethora of instructions, he was shocked at how closely they had recreated his over the top imagination. He hadn’t expected them to be able to meet half of his requests, knowing that his need for perfection was completely unreasonable in a post-apocalyptic world, but they had followed every single directive to a T. There was even some artistic license that Joel couldn’t find it in himself to hate.

More flowers highlighted the beauty of the open concept room, along with an obnoxious amount of petals all over the bed that reddened the tips of Joel’s ears. He certainly didn’t have the guts to ask for that, but he also had a feeling that they were courtesy of your excitable best friend. The candles around the room burned low, casting a sensual glow to the room that ticked the room temperature up by a few degrees. Even with the door to the balcony open, the fresh air wafting in from outside and the sound of rushing water, it was sweltering. However, given how hot and bothered the two of you had been lately, he was pretty sure the candles had nothing to do with it.

Awestruck, your jaw popped open as you looked around. Each time your eyes met Joel’s, a few more tears would fall, but it was the little memories that he had given his minions to leave out that started the real cries. The first thing you came across was a replacement of sorts. The small rose Joel had once carved for you was long forgotten at the cabin, along with many other precious things, but there it lay on a coffee table. Or at least, a replica did. It had taken him far too many times to get it right. Not that Joel would ever admit it, but there was a closet filled with failed recreations in his work room back home. Nevertheless, the endless trial and error was worth it to see your reaction.

“I thought I lost it,” you sobbed, clutching the rose to your chest like it was priceless.

Joel stepped forward, grabbing your face so he could brush the tears away as they fell. He kissed your eyelids, cooing at the small whimper that bubbled to the surface in return.

“That ain’t the original baby, I made another for this. Thought you might like to remember that day… It uh, well it was a really good one for us.”

You blinked, slowly remembering how that day had played out. The rose, the morning chores, the fight by the river, and then…

“We bonded that day.”

Joel nodded, feeling sheepish as he remembered alongside you. He didn’t mean to be an ass that day, all he had wanted to do was unwind the clock a bit, to be the chivalrous gentleman you most certainly deserved. What Joel didn’t realize at the time was that you didn’t want that, you wanted him as he was. One frustrated argument was all it had taken for him to realize it, which had ultimately led to the love making session that had ended with you sinking your teeth into his neck.

“That day was one of the best days of my life darling,” he admitted, though he was sure you already knew that.

You smiled, “Me too.”

Another nudge from Joel and you turned back towards the room, reaching another artifact he had left out. Although this one was a bit unclear, with the colorful case and upbeat soundtrack listed on the back boasting a mix that he would usually steer clear of. He cleared his throat, chuckling at your look of confusion.

“Um, this is from… Well, it wasn’t exactly the best time. I mean, we had almost just died but you brought one of these mix CDs with us for the drive to Jackson and it was the first time in a while that I was happy. I mean, things got pretty crazy after that first day on the road but just for a second, everything felt okay. We were together again and it felt so fucking good.” he explained.

“Even after you had to listen to my horrible rendition of the Spice Girls?,” you teased.

Joel laughed, “Yeah baby, even after that.”

You set the CD down, smiling as you dragged your finger over the cover for another second before turning back towards the last bit of scattered memories. As you walked over to the small collection of things that covered the desk in the corner, Joel took a deep breath and readied himself. Pictures and keepsakes were strewn across it, showcasing the life the two of you had built together in Jackson. A few pictures of the twins as infants, toddlers, and even one taken a couple months earlier at Tommy’s birthday party were placed in the center, showcasing the center of both of your lives. Perhaps in a different life there would be a sonogram for him to add, but for now all he could make do with was one of the many drawings the pups had done for their incoming sibling.

Around the edges, there were a few of the notes Joel had left you over the years, the ones you had hidden from him in the box on the bookshelf, as if he didn’t also frequent the library in his own home. You giggled, plucking a few from the desk and reading them, letting more tears flow as he got into position. He watched as you picked up one of the very few pictures of you and him, the only one that he looked semi-decent in. It had been taken at the twin’s second birthday party by Maria of all people, after the two of you had snuck into the backyard for some much needed alone time while all the kids and parents were too distracted by the chaos.

In the picture, Joel holds you close, one hand on the small of your back while the other cups your face. His face is lit up, uncharacteristically lively as he stares into the eyes of the woman he loves. Even his mouth, so often found in a grim line, is spread wide with a grin that makes him look ten years younger. But it was you that stole the show in the photo, clad in a baby blue sundress that had driven him wild as he watched you host what turned out to be a jam-packed party. Your hair is slightly tousled, probably because Joel had his hands in it just moments before when he kissed you, but it makes you even prettier. And the look you're giving him in the picture, god, that look made him more sure of what he was about to do than anything else.

“Hmm, you look so handsome in this one baby. It’s a good thing Maria came out of the house when she did, or else she would’ve gotten quite the show,” you laughed, shaking your head as you turned, “Do you think that she saw when you - Joel? What are you doing?”

The way you stared down at him on one knee, cocking your head at the gesture like it was the strangest thing in the world, nearly made Joel lose his nerve but he pushed through. It was now or never.

“Honey, I-I need to tell you,” Joel stopped, taking a deep breath to steady his pounding heart, “Before I found you, I was perfectly fine dying alone. Fuck, I was ready for it even. Anything would be better than feeling so god damn miserable all the time.”

Fat globs of tears sprung from your eyes and Joel winced. Maybe starting with how miserable he used to be wasn’t the best move, especially when he was proposing to his very pregnant mate. As you bit down on your trembling lower lip, desperately trying to keep in the shaky cries he knew were seconds away from breaking free, Joel switched gears.

“Sorry, that was a bad start. Let me try again. For years before the outbreak, I dreamed of what it would be like to meet my person, to fall in love with someone and be a family. Then, after everything that happened, I started to think that it was just a fantasy. Or if it was real, that I’d never find someone who’d be crazy enough to love someone like me, but then I met you.”

A cracked sob echoed throughout the room, fallen from your lips as you shakily lowered yourself onto the floor. Joel chuckled as you got down on his level, gripping his shoulders to keep yourself upright as you gazed at him through a heavy veil of tears. He lifted your left hand, pressing it to his lips before he rubbed at the finger he hoped would soon be adorned with a ring.

“I-I don’t understand Joel, what is this? I mean, this is all so… F-Fuck, it’s so amazing baby, but why are we on the floor?,” you blubbered.

Joel laughed, a true, full, belly laugh as he shook his head at your utter confusion. It had never once occurred to him that you might not understand the tradition of getting down on one knee, but he was a man of his time and he’d be damned if he didn’t do it for you.

“Everything I have is because of you babygirl. My pups, my home, my fucking sanity, I wouldn’t have any of it if it weren’t for you. And I will spend the rest of my life loving you as best as I can. My heart is yours honey, now and forever. So, will you marry me?”

Joel slipped the ring from his pocket, wishing like hell he could have found a box for it in time, but the sentiment would have to do. Plus, he had to admit, the family heirloom was pretty damn impressive. An emerald sat at the center, wrapped in a thin line of peridot, with a thin gold band that glinted in the candlelight.

“W-Where did you get this?! This is my grandmother’s ring! I don’t understand. M-My dad was supposed to save it for me but then the world ended and he… Well, he fucking died. How the hell do you have this?,” you stammered, astonished by the small piece of jewelry.

“Your mama kept it,” Joel answered with an earnest smile, “She said that he wanted you to have it someday when you found the right person, so she um… She gave it to me so I could ask ya darling. I know that I never knew him but I… Well, I hope that’s okay.”

“Oh my god, Joel!,” you cried out as you threw yourself at him.

A small oomph came from his lips, the force of your body hitting his chest nearly knocking him to the floor, but Joel managed to get his balance. He wrapped his arms around you, allowing you to weep into his neck and babble about how overboard everything was.

“So, uh… Is that a yes?,” he asked, unsure if the display of emotions was a positive thing or not.

As quickly as you had nearly tackled him, you were pulling away, placing a plethora of kisses all over Joel’s face as you repeated your answer again and again.

“Yes.”

A kiss to the forehead.

“Yes.”

His nose.

“Yes.”

Both of his cheeks.

“Fucking a million times yes.”

The last kiss was dropped onto Joel’s lips, effectively sealing the deal and forcing his heart to strain against the confines of his ribcage once more. He dove into it, allowing himself to get lost in the feeling of your tongue sliding against his, in the way you tugged at his hair and moaned into his mouth. All consumed by you, he could hardly keep in his pained whine when you pulled away much too soon. However, when you extended your left hand to him, fluttering your fingers with an excited grin, he couldn’t find it in himself to be annoyed.

Instead, Joel grabbed your hand, placing a kiss to the back of it before he carefully slid the ring on. He held his breath, praying that it would fit, only for it to slide home like it was meant to be there all along. The air in his lungs halted when he looked down at it, a chemical reaction going off in his brain that had moisture gathering in his eyes as his cock simultaneously twitched to life in his boxers.

“I love you sweet girl, more than anything,” Joel breathed, completely in awe at the sight of the ring glimmering in the candlelight.

“I love you too Joel. I never thought I’d meet someone who loved me so much, someone so…,” you sighed as you cupped his face, “Perfect for me. I mean, I never thought I’d be able to choose. Then there was Paul and that stupid wedding. Fuck, I never even said yes but it didn’t matter.”

Joel growled, a deep resentment for that awful man bubbling up to the surface. It didn’t matter that the piece of shit had been dead for years, his ghost still managed to stir up some rage.

“Baby, I need you to understand that I will never treat you like that asshole did. I love you, I’d rather fucking die than hurt you. And if anyone ever threatens you or our pups, I will kill them myself,” he hissed through gritted teeth.

“I know Joel, that’s one of the many reasons I’m saying yes,” you grinned, rubbing a hand over his chest until he released the tension there, “For most of my life, I felt like I was sleepwalking, but then I met you and you changed my life. You understand me in a way that nobody ever has, you showed me that I had a voice, that I could choose and I choose this. I choose you, forever.”

“Oh sweetheart, you’re giving me waaaay too much credit. That was all you, my strong girl. You found your own voice honey, not me,” Joel admonished, heart swollen with pride as he thought about the confidence you had gained in the past five years.

“Maybe, but I couldn’t have done it without your help. All I had ever heard was that I was worthless, that I was stupid, that I didn’t deserve respect. But you? You actually listened to me and for the first time in my life, I had someone who loved me, someone who didn’t tear me down. I might have found my own voice but Joel, it was you who gave me confidence to do it.”

“Goddamn honey, how am I supposed to follow that? I can’t believe you’ve outdone me at the proposal that I planned,” Joel groaned, making you giggle at his theatrics, “I can’t even begin to explain how proud I am to call you mine. You’re the smartest, kindest, most beautiful and strong person that I know. And until I die honey, I’m yours. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, now kiss me.”

The two of you met in the middle, a surge of electricity setting all of Joel’s nerves alight as his lips moved against yours. His hands grabbed at your ass, kneading the flesh beneath his fingers as you tugged on his curls like you could fuse the two of you together. Sweat formed at his hairline, the heat of the room turning downright tropical as his greedy hands grabbed every part of you he could reach. One twirl of the tongue from you and Joel was done, grunting into the kiss as he picked you up and walked to the edge of the bed. He bit your lip, causing you to whine unabashedly and grind down against the bulge in his jeans. The zipper dug into his hardened length, the sensation only worsened by the sound of your pretty moans riling him up even more.

“Do you like rubbin’ that little cunt all over me? Tell me, who’s making that pretty pussy gush? God, she’s just so needy, isn’t she? Talk to me sweet girl,” Joel panted, unable to keep himself from shivering as you licked a stripe up the side of his neck.

“Shit, you Joel. Only you. Need you to - ah - need you to fuck me,” you keened, already gone despite the fact that he had barely touched you yet.

Joel grinned wolfishly, allowing you to grind against him as he sucked at the skin along your neck. His hands wandered under your shirt, drifting over your hips, across your belly, and up under the swell of your breasts. Joel nudged the pesky bra aside, sneaking his hands into the cups so that he could toy with your nipples until they were swollen and stiff. All he had to do was bite down on the sensitive skin a bit harder while he plucked at your overly sensitive peaks and you were done, letting out an uncharacteristic low warning growl. He grinned, loving how worked up you got when he toyed with you like this.

“Are you trying to kill me?,” you grouched, all flushed and sweaty as you glared at him,

He laughed and shook his head, “Quite the opposite sweetheart.”

The moan you let out as Joel’s lips crashed into yours was better than any symphony, causing his knees to almost give out from the sheer beauty of it. For two weeks, the forces of life had kept him from having you this way, forcing him into a state that was embarrassingly needy. Joel needed to hear more, to tear that blinding pleasure from your core until all that could be heard throughout the room was the muffled cries as you released again and again. It riled him up just to think about it. With his cock beginning to ache against his zipper, he flung you onto the bed, fumbling with the buttons of his shirt as he watched you bounce against the mattress.

“Take it all off. Need to see all of you honey. Shit, you’re so fucking sexy baby,” Joel commanded, his tone somehow both domineering and desperate.

Shaky hands peeled off your scant layers one by one, revealing a sight that Joel could only describe as excruciatingly beautiful. His eyes burned as he gazed upon your naked body, almost as if his retinas knew that what they were witnessing was the embodiment of divinity itself. It was as if you had fallen straight from the heavens, kindly enough to grant him a small glimpse at paradise.

Joel stared at your soft skin, entranced by how smooth it looked compared to his. He trailed his gaze downwards, practically foaming at the mouth as he watched your pert nipples harden in the air. His mouth watered as he imagined himself launching forward, sucking and biting at them as you squealed in delight, but he had to wait.

After two weeks with nothing, Joel wanted everything. He wanted to flip you over and drill into you like a maniac, tugging at your hair as you begged him to pump you full. He wanted to throw one of your legs over his shoulder and ease into you, kissing every inch of your face as he listed the many reasons he had fallen for you. But more than anything, Joel wanted control, to be precise in his movements in order to bring you the most pleasure he possibly could. And based on the dark look in your eye as your hips bucked up against nothing, there was only one way he could do that. You wanted him to be fucking filthy.

“Touch yourself for me sweet girl, play with yourself just like we practiced,” he drawled, stepping forward so that he had a clear view of what lay in between your thick thighs.

What Joel expected you to do was rub your slick cunt, perhaps stopping to tweak at your nipples first to playfully tease him. But what he didn’t expect was for you to bat your eyelashes at him, smiling as you shoved two fingers into your mouth. His eyes bulged out of his head, cock jumping at the sight of his mate fucking her own mouth with one hand while squeezing her breasts with the other. The noises you were making were lewd, the soft gagging making him sweat and regret all of his decisions immediately, but he stayed rooted to his spot. He couldn’t move even if he wanted to, the sight alone was enough to make him cum in his pants and he was worried that any slight movement would make him explode.

“Jesus fucking Christ baby, just like that. Like choking yourself honey? Bet you wish it was daddy doing it for ya. Shit, you’re such a dirty girl, so good for me,” Joel groaned, his pained voice almost getting lost by the whines you let out around the digits.

Nodding, you let the hand tweaking at your sensitive nipples drift downwards. Joel swallowed hard as you opened up your legs for him, revealing the drenched slit that begged for his attention. The smell of your arousal hit him like a freight train and he quickly unleashed his cock, squeezing it around the base to calm himself down. Grinning around the fingers that continued to thrust away at your throat, you reached down to toy with your neglected clit. Gentle fingers brushed over the swollen nub again and again, until slick was dripping down your wrist. He watched as you started with small circles, teasing yourself into the pleasure just as he had taught you, until you were ready for more.

“C’mon darling, I can tell that she’s fucking starving for something inside of her. Be a good girl and give her two of those pretty fingers, wanna see her cry for me,” Joel ordered, although with how turned on he was, it sounded more like a whine.

“Mmm-hmm,” you replied through a full mouth, thrusting two fingers deep inside of your pussy without another word.

Joel groaned at the way your walls immediately clenched around the digits, sucking them in as you started to fuck your needy cunt. Slick dripped down from your quivering entrance, ruining the sheets below, but he didn’t give a shit. He’d happily sleep in the wet spot if it meant he got to witness such a erotic display. The way your garbled moans spilled around your fingers as you pressed a thumb against your clit almost brought Joel to his knees. Completely entranced by your pussy, he didn’t even notice that you had taken your drenched fingers out of your mouth until you called out to him.

“Come here alpha,” you sighed, heavy lidded eyes staring him down like he was the prey.

Those words hooked into Joel’s chest, leaving him no other choice but to stumble forward like a fool the second he heard them. He had almost rounded the bed when he saw your spit soaked fingers trail down, reaching past your pussy to toy with that tight ring of muscle that you had allowed him to take a handful of times. A flash of heat burned through Joel’s lower abdomen as he realized what your intentions were, forcing him to halt and squeeze the base of his cock again to keep himself from cumming like some sort of riled up teenager. If that wasn’t enough, the sound of the guttural groan you let as you slipped one, then two fingers inside of your ass could have killed him right then and there.

“Jesus honey, what are you trying to fucking do? Kill me? S’not playing fair,” he moaned, almost losing it when the fingers in your ass started to thrust in time with the ones in your pussy.

“Who s-said anyth- fuck - anything about playing fair?,” you breathily teased.

Joel cussed, kicking himself for teaching you his ways as he tried to keep himself from dissolving into a mess of desperate pleas. He growled and shook his head, trying to remember the original request you had made for him to join you. Every step of the way, his eyes darted from your overstuffed core to your flushed face, his mind spinning with all the filthy things he wanted to do to you. By the time he got there, he was semi-convinced that he was dreaming. It was all too good to be true.

“Closer,” you whined.

It was so desperate, so wanton, that Joel had no choice but to abide by it. He shuffled closer, until his thighs brushed against the sheets and his cock nearly touched the side of your head.

“Where do you want me sweetheart? Fuck, just me where you need me and I’ll be there. Is this what you mea- hey! Oh shit,” he groaned, his eyes rolling into the back of his head as you turned and captured the reddened tip between your lips.

A sweat broke out on Joel’s forehead as he looked down, watching with a slack jaw as you took him halfway down your throat and swallowed around him. He didn’t know what to say, so shocked by your actions that he couldn’t even reprimand you for foiling his plan. Instead, he hissed through his teeth as you started to bob your head, his gaze frantically switching between you fucking both of your holes with abandon and the sight of you taking his cock down your throat like a pro.

“F-fuck yeah baby, that’s it,” he cussed, reaching forward to brush the hair away from your face, “Got all of your slutty little holes filled, hm? How’s it feel to be such a fucking whore for daddy? Oh my god, that’s it - ngh - just like that. Bet she misses me, pussy loves when I stretch her out.”

The noise you made around Joel’s cock was nearly incoherent, but it sounded vaguely like a yes. He chuckled, locking eyes with you as he started to thrust in and out of your mouth. Keeping it slow for the first few strokes, he grinned at how well you took him, with nothing but pure lust staring back at him through unshed tears. You were just as famished as Joel, practically begging him with your eyes to be a little rough, to remind you how much he yearned to be inside of you at all hours of the day. So after your throat relaxed, he picked up the pace, groaning at the feeling of you moaning around him as he fucked your face.

“Nngh, oh darling, look at how wet she is. That pussy is just beggin’ to cum for me, isn’t she? F-Fuck yes baby, c’mon. Fuck her a little harder for me,” Joel taunted.

The way you fought against the tears in your eyes, batting them at Joel so prettily as you gagged around the big cock that slammed into the back of your throat with each animalistic thrust was too perfect, and he found himself moaning embarrassingly loud. With your thighs shaking, fingers thrusting desperately in and out of your gushing cunt, he could see that you were right on the edge. All you needed was one last push to launch you into space so, he did the only thing he could think of.

Sputtering as Joel tore his cock away, you cried out, blinking wildly as you tried to comprehend what was happening. But before you could, he grabbed your face, leaning down so that he could look you right in the eye.

“I think I know what ya want honey, but I’m just checking. Are you okay if I get a bit rough? I promise I’ll make you feel so good baby,” he asked, gently wiping some stray tears away.

A chirp of excitement came from you, along with an enthusiastic nod as you nuzzled the hand that cleaned the fluids from your face.

“Good girl, just tell me if it gets too much,” Joel cooed, giving you one last soft caress before he hardened his stance again, “Now, open that mouth for me.”

You obliged, even rolling your tongue out in a way that made Joel suck in a harsh breath between his teeth. He gathered all of the spit in his mouth, letting it drip down into your own. Without even having to be asked, you snapped your mouth shut, waiting patiently for him to tell you to swallow it. The way you looked at him was downright filthy, but not as filthy as the wanton moan you let out when he suddenly reared his hand back and slapped you straight across the face. He didn’t do it too hard, just enough so that the sting would add to the pressure growing between your legs.

“Swallow it,” he snapped.

You did, whimpering as you opened your mouth to show him that it was gone. The fingers in your core were halted, which made him tsk.

“I never said you could stop.”

Joel swooped down so that he could look you in the eye as your fingers started moving again, covering your mouth with his palm to muffle your high pitched whines. The wet sounds coming from your core increased the harder he stared, the fingers in your holes trying desperately to bring you up over the edge. Despite his cruel demeanor, he smiled when he felt your lips pucker beneath his palm, unable to keep himself from softening as you kissed his hand.

“Aw, so sweet f’me honey. Such a good little slut. Fuck, always look so sexy playing with your holes. I bet that little pussy wants to cum, doesn’t she baby? I can see her twitching.That's alright, cum for me darling, want to watch her cry.”

Joel didn’t look away from your face as you came, unwilling to miss a second of it. He watched as your face scrunched up, tears falling from your eyes as they rolled back in pleasure, taking note of every expression so that he could use it for later. With how frequently the two of you fucked and how often he found himself taking mental snapshots of your blissed out face, it was a wonder Joel got anything done with how large of an archive he had acquired over the years. Could he remember what he had for breakfast that very morning? Hell no. But could he remember exactly how many times he had made you cum and in what positions on your birthday three years ago? Absolutely.

“Fuuuck, Joel,” you cried out as his hand left your face, followed by a sharp gasp as he ripped the fingers from your core and climbed over you.

“I know baby, did so fucking good for me. My mate, my omega, my fucking wife, all mine. You hear that honey? Nobody else can have you like this, s’all for me,” he rambled, cock twitching at the sight of the ring wrapped around your drenched fingers.

A gasp, followed by a litany of swears came from you as Joel leaned down and clamped down on your gland, worrying the skin under his teeth in a way that had you both making obscene sounds. He wasn’t sure what it was, but all he could think about was the day that the two of you bonded, the day that his life had come together again in a way that finally made sense. It was enough to make him bite down even harder, rendering you absolutely useless by the time he pulled back to stare at you through heavy lidded eyes.

“I fucking love you sweetheart, so good for me. Always so fucking beautiful - shit - you drive me insane. Fuck, just wanna make you feel good, wanna keep that pussy stuffed like she deserves forever,” Joel growled, wrestling with the remainder of his clothes so that he could feel every inch of your skin against his.

“Joel, fuck. There could never be anyone else baby, it’s you, you’ve ruined me,” you whined, reaching out to him with a pained expression, “But I love it daddy, love the filthy things you say, the way you love me, how your big cock feels inside of me. P-Please, I need it, need you alpha.”

The last part was spoken not as a request, but as a call to his very nature. It awoke something ferocious inside of Joel, the same something that screamed at him to keep you swollen with his pups every single day of his life. His sanity drifted away, replaced only by the need to heed the call of his desperate omega that needed him to fulfill his duty. And you were no better. By the time his pants finally hit the floor, you were gone, bucking your hips at him and writhing against the drenched sheets as you wailed. The air had grown thick, both of your scents mixing together in a way that had his mouth watering and his cock aching, but the loud cry of his name you let out snapped him out of it.

“Hush now baby, s’okay. Daddy’s gotcha, m’gonna make it all better,” Joel promised, leaning down to press a chaste kiss to your forehead before he pulled your hips towards him.

Dragging your hips upwards, Joel kneeled against the mattress and ripped your legs apart. He placed them on each of his shoulders, rendering you absolutely useless as he laid you back against his thighs. The weight of his cock was heavy against your mound, providing the both of you with the jaw dropping sight of just how deep he was about to spear into you. With your shoulder blades pressed into the bed while your lower half was held up by nothing but his brute strength, Joel was seconds from passing out. He couldn’t get over how enchanting you looked with your back arched against his thighs, body on full display for his ravenous gaze.

“Look at that baby, see how deep she's gonna take me? Fuck, always so tight. Such a pretty pussy, so wet and ready for me every time,” he moaned, panting as he dragged himself through your sticky folds, “What more do I have to do? Already fucked another baby into her but she wants more from daddy, doesn’t she?”

“Please,” you breathed.

“Please what sweetheart?”

“Please, may I have your c - oooh fuck,” you squealed, choking on air as he buried himself all the way to the hilt.

Before you had a chance to catch your breath, Joel was off, lifting you up and down, using you in a way that had your pussy twitching around him in seconds. With how sensitive the pregnancy had made you, he wasn’t surprised that you were already so close. Each thrust hammered against your g-spot, dragging you towards an even more explosive end. He chuckled as you tried and failed to speak, amused by how easy he could take you apart like this. And Joel was no better, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he watched your tits bounce, the swollen nipples almost as enticing as the protruding belly that he had given you.

Joel was so wrapped up in the way you shook and moaned beneath him that he didn’t even realize how close you were until you suddenly let out a pinched whine, glossy eyes begging him for something, anything. His lungs burned from his relentless pace, sweat dampening his hairline as he continued to plough into you but he kept going. It was not usual for him to have you like this, so wanton and open, with no fear of anything or anyone interrupting and he needed to take advantage of it properly. There was no need for him to worry about the bed slamming into the wall, or the sound of his thighs clapping against the cradle of your hips as he drove into you, he could fuck you just how you wanted.

“I know, I know babygirl. She’s so desperate isn’t she? Can’t even let go unless daddy tells her to. S’alright honey, cum for me, I know you want to,” Joel demanded, hissing through his teeth when you answered by spraying him with a stream of slick, “Fuuck, just like that honey.”

Joel fucked you through it, uncaring of the way your body twitched from the overstimulation as he continued to jackhammer into you. It didn’t matter to him that you were barely cognitive, a mess of slick and tears as he pulled you up from his thighs and wrapped your legs around him. What mattered was making you understand just how obsessed with you he was. If it were up to him, this would be his job, pulling as much pleasure from your core as you would allow whenever you needed.

A scream was muffled against his mouth when Joel pulled you up, the new angle somehow making him spear into you even deeper than before. The tip of his throbbing cock kissed your cervix, causing you to shudder and clamp down on him like vice. He whined at how tight your walls hugged him, clutching your hip hard with one hand while the other buried itself in your hair. Joel made a fist with your messy strands, tugging on your hair so he could hear the litany of curses you spat at him as even more slick dribbled into his lap.

“Shit darling, love this, love you so much. So pretty, so smart, so sweet, I can’t - fuck - can’t believe you’re mine and I’m- ungh - I’m yours. Never gonna want anyone else, never needed anyone else before you, my sweet girl, my wife - oh fuuuuck. You’re gonna be my fucking wife.”

The feeling of your warm breath against his neck was driving him crazy, along with the way you moaned oh so sweetly as you came around him yet again, your walls weakly clutching at the base of his cock, trying desperately to tease his knot inside. Teeth buried themselves into his gland and Joel made a warning noise, his thrusts stuttering for just a moment before he got himself back in check. He was a man possessed, completely deranged in his incessant need to bring you mind numbing pleasure.

Joel wasn’t sure, but he had an idea of what was making him so feral. Each flash of the rock on your hand made his cock scream for release. The rock, the bite mark he had left on your neck, the pregnant belly he had given you, the way you looked up at him oh so lovingly, it all spoke to the beast within. A possessive streak bubbled up from deep inside, making Joel absolutely insatiable despite the crescent moons you dug into his skin as another wave of pleasure soon followed the last. As your orgasm petered off, he pulled his glistening cock out, ignoring your choked sob as he flipped you over onto your hands and knees.

“No, no, no, no, no, please. N-Need you daddy, Joel, alpha, please, I c-can’t,” you cried, dutifully folding over the pillow he shoved underneath your belly to protect it as he forced his way back inside.

A garbled scream was muffled into the sheets as Joel slid home, followed by a desperate whine as he pulled your cheeks apart to look at the hole he had been neglecting.

“M’not going anywhere sweetheart, gonna make you cum until you can’t see. Then m’gonna give you want, gonna fill you up so good that you’re leaking for days,” he promised, chuckling at the way you clenched around him as he teased the puckered skin.

“Please,” was whispered into the mattress, followed by a broken wail as Joel started to thrust once more.

One hand snuck into your hair, forcing you to arch against him so that his cock nailed that devastating spot every single time. Joel gritted his teeth, the sound of your high pitched mewls and his heavy sack slapping your clit making his stomach clench. He groaned as you started to throw yourself back onto him, so far gone that he wasn’t even sure you were speaking English anymore. Chuckling at the endless stream of nonsense, he continued to tease your back entrance, pressing tight the ring of muscle until you let out a garbled demand that forced him to shove two fingers inside. It was quite the stretch, with his thick fingers more than double the size of your own, but the wad of spit he let fall from his mouth eased the glide.

“More, more, more, more,” you sobbed, legs shaking as he started to thrust his fingers in time with his cock.

Joel swore, “Such a slut for me, aren’t ya? Both of these greedy holes are filled up baby, what more do you want? What does daddy need to do? Want me to take you the Bison and you fuck you on the bar? Want me to break that little cunt open in front of everyone? Show the whole town just how good that pretty pussy is at taking daddy’s cock?”

A broken cry tumbled from your lips, rivulets of your cum running down his thighs as you reached your peak, this one even more brutal than the last. How many times had Joel made you cum so far? He had lost count, all he knew was that he needed to keep going. The pleas you were letting out were getting downright sinful, nothing but jumbled nonsense that made his balls draw up, forcing him to chew on the inside of his cheek to work through it. The sweet, nonsensical pleas would have broken his heart, if he didn’t know how much you fucking loved it when he treated you like this. After spending the day calling all of the shots, running the clinic, while also being a mom, what you needed was for someone to take the reins.

And Joel was more than happy to. The way you undulated beneath him, working yourself back against his steadily throbbing cock, made him want to propose to you all over again. You were slack jawed and shaking with every brutal thrust Joel gave you, making him thank ever higher power above that his stamina hadn’t wavered despite his age. He didn’t care if it killed him, he would continue fuck you into the mattress until his legs gave out. It didn’t matter that his cock was aching, knot demanding to be locked inside as he continued to fuck you silly, what mattered was making good on his promise to break you into a million little pieces. That’s what his mate deserved, what his wife deserved.

“J-Joel - mmfph - I can’t, need more,” you choked, gripping his arms hard as you tried to muscle through the sharp bolts of pleasure Joel was pulling from your swollen pussy, “Need you closer, want you close to me, please daddy. I can’t - I don’t wanna, not without you, please, please…”

The desperation in your voice this time was different, like you would die if Joel didn’t give you a taste of adoration, and he quickly pulled out so that he could flip you around again. However, upon turning you over, he immediately regretted the decision as he grabbed the base of his cock to stave off the cum that threatened to spurt out of him. Sweat glistened across your skin, illuminating your figure beautifully in the soft candlelight.

If Joel was a smarter or more creative man, he would write poems about the gorgeous woman beneath him. You were ethereal, glowing with the pregnancy and drenched in lust, all while you looked at him like HE was the perfect one. It broke through every single one of his defenses and set his heart on fire. The hand adorned with a glittering ring reached out to Joel and he smiled, plucking it from the air so that he could kiss the back of it. You tugged on his hand, letting out a soft come here that had him climbing over you in seconds.

“Darling, I could live a million lives and still never get over how fucking beautiful you are. Like a goddamn goddess babygirl, and I don’t tell you nearly as much as I should. Just so, so sexy. And you want to be with me forever? Fuck, I’m a lucky man,” Joel praised as he placed a smattering of kisses over your face.

You giggled at his soft touch, “You tell me every day Joel, I think you’re in the clear.”

He shook his head, giving you a cheeky grin before he said, “Then I should tell ya twice.”

The laugh you let out in response was cut off by Joel easing himself back inside. He smiled as you wrapped your shaky legs around him, allowing him to slide in just a few more inches. His forearms bracketed your head, giving you no choice but to look him in the eye as he started at a slow but forceful pace. Each thrust knocked the air out of your lungs and forced a small squeak from your lips, which he couldn’t help but think was so goddamn cute.

“That’s it sweetheart, take it like I know ya can,” Joel sighed, letting his hands roam all over your sweaty body.

The way you squeezed his cock and scratched at his back told him you were close. Joel pressed his mouth against yours, nipping at your swollen lips and sucking on your tongue until he was sure you were on the edge. Pulling away, he grunted at the feeling of your walls tightening up even more, hugging him almost painfully hard and knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was doomed the second you let go.

“Let me have it baby and I’ll give you what you want, shit. Dammit, I’ll fill that tight little pussy up so good sweetheart, just fucking cum for me. Know ya can do it, fu-uck, please. Christ honey, need to feel you choke my cock. Please, please, please,” Joel rambled, the desperation in his voice evident as his cock started to twitch.

A squeak came from you, followed by a full body shudder as you released so hard that Joel had to trap you against him so that the force of it didn’t push him out. He groaned as you came, eyes rolling into the back of his head as your cunt greedily milked his reddened cock. With his lap soaked and your walls clenching around him so good, he couldn’t handle it anymore, thrusting forward so that he could lock himself inside. Joel let out an uncharacteristically high pitched whimper, calling your name like a goddamn whore as he released inside of you, right where his seed belonged. Thick torrents of cum spurted out of his cock, making you both moan as you both shook from the overwhelming surges of pleasures that just kept coming.

Again and again, Joel flooded your womb, until he was sure that if it was possible for him to somehow get you pregnant again, he would have. It was all so mind blowing that he found himself shaking under the weight of his own body, close to collapsing as the two of you were thrown off the edge once more. He groaned, rolling the both of you onto your sides so that he didn’t squash the precious bump that stuck out from your midsection with the next round of mind melting pleasure.

“Oh fuck, Joel, I d-don’t, shit. Baby, that was so, oh my god,” you stammered, shaking like a newborn deer as you came down from the last wave.

Joel held you close to him, tangling his legs with your own while he drew shapes on your hip bones and played with your hair. He nuzzled your neck, kissing the thin skin there until you had caught your breath and called his name. After giving your gland one last peck, he pulled away, coming face to face with a more disheveled version of you than he had seen in a while. The sight of it made his heart soar, knowing that it had been him who fucked you so good.

“Beautiful honey, just the prettiest woman I’ve ever seen,” Joel confessed, unable to keep all the gooey-ness from spilling from his lips with how exhausted he was.

“I love you,” you whispered, which only caused his heart to burn even brighter in the solace of the quiet lodge.

“I love you too,” he answered, like it was the only thing in his life he had ever been sure of.

And to a certain extent, it was. Joel’s love for you had been one of the first things he had been sure of in over twenty years. A light had filtered into his life again with just one smile from you, knocking him on his ass and driving away all his demons in an instant. Everything that had come since then, the bond, the twins, the home the two of you had made in Jackson, it was all a derivative of the love Joel had been so afraid of for decades.

So, as Joel knocked his nose against yours and sighed at the way your fingers made soothing circles across his scalp, he couldn’t help but feel victorious. There was nothing else he had ever longed for as much as a family, a partner to love him as much as he loved them, a home to call his own, perhaps even a few pups that bore his image. But after the world had ended, after his first daughter had been torn from him so cruelly, he had resigned himself to a life of pain. And after Ellie died? Fate seemed to be giving him the middle finger, laughing at him for allowing himself to fall for it again. Joel had tucked away his sense of self, his hopes, his dreams, his humanity, anything that could possibly make him feel.

But you? You had changed the game, stumbling into Joel’s life and unknowingly jumpstarting his heart in a way that had scared the absolute shit out of him. And after everything; the kidnapping, the arena, the cult, the traumatic birth of the twins, the murder of the two men that had threatened his peace, holding you in post engagement bliss made him want to gloat. It had taken fifty six years, but Joel had found a home, and he had you to thank for it. Laying one last kiss into your hair, he let himself drift, feeling like a champion of the odds for the first time in forever.

- You -

The nap that you had taken was necessary, given the relentless pounding Joel had rained down on your poor pussy after you had said yes to the proposal. It had been so mind breaking that you had awoken groggy and disoriented, unsure of where the hell you were until you caught the sparkling ring that now adorned your left hand. As carefully as you could, you disentangled yourself from Joel, wanting to get a better look at the heirloom that had been hidden from you for decades.

The candles throughout the room flickered still, although most had gone out since you fell asleep. Padding towards the staircase, you stopped before the first step, casting a glance back at the devilishly handsome man that was your mate. Joel hugged the pillow that had just cradled your head, snuggling it closer to his chest as if it was you as he muttered nonsense in his sleep. That man loved you so much that it was surreal, like looking at the sun for too long as a curious child and coming away with dizzying holes in your vision. With one final glance, you turned back towards the steps, not wanting to wake the alpha that had so kindly fucked you into another dimension just a few hours earlier.

Joel had been running on little to no sleep lately, too stubborn to wake you in the middle of the night when one of the twins came knocking. And with how many times he had just made you cum, you decided to let him rest for a bit longer before you jumped his bones again. Although, you had to admit that it was hard not to with how handsome Joel looked, naked and splayed out against the sheets.

The first floor was slightly brighter, with many of the candles still going strong and the moonlight leaking in from the huge windows. You toyed with the ring as you drifted over to the table of treats, snagging the bowl of chocolate covered fruit to munch on as you stared out at the scenery. The trees shuddered under a gust of the humid wind, the warmth of it creeping in through the cracks of the molding. The quietness reminded you of the peaceful home that you had once shared with Joel in the forest. All of the memories, both bad and good, rushed over you in an instant, and you couldn’t help but smile. It had all been worth it.

Absentmindedly, you brushed a hand over the growing swell between your hips, smiling at the small kick that nudged you. There was a part of you that wanted to leave the comfort of the lodge so that you could bask in the cool waters and enjoy the sanctity of the forest, but you refrained. The last time the two of you had been separated in the woods, it hadn’t ended well and you weren’t willing to risk it again in the state you were in. The last thing you needed was the father of your children having a stroke when he realized that you had left the lodge without him, especially with how your last pregnancy had ended.

Joel had relaxed some since then, but that didn’t mean he was particularly keen on letting you wander too far with how traumatizing the birth of the twins had been for the both of you. This time around, he stayed close, glaring at anyone in town that stared at you for too long no matter how many times you reminded him that he wasn’t hated in Jackson anymore. It was hard for people in town to stay mad at Joel when he had two pups who so clearly worshiped the ground he walked on, who babbled excitedly about their days to him as they strolled through the streets, all while he hung off of every word. He was a good dad, anyone could see it, and it forced everyone who once hated him to see the man he was, the man you loved.

Plus, with how ruggedly handsome Joel was, you guessed it had something to do with that as well. He was the town handyman, and you knew just how good he looked while he worked, all sweaty and flushed as he put something back together. With how jaw dropping he was and how attentive he could be towards his family, you weren’t surprised how many residents suddenly needed various home appliances repaired. You didn’t mind. They could look all they liked, just so long as they also got a good look of Joel kissing you in the street, holding the swell that he had given you. Just so long as everyone in town knew that the sexy handyman belonged to you.

Not that you were worried. With how relentless Joel’s public displays of affection had been since he found out about the newest edition, you were sure that the entirety of Jackson was well aware of the bond the two of you shared. He was so excited that it made you giddy, and it also made the pregnancy a lot less nerve racking than your first. That and the fact that you were pretty sure that there was only one pup this time around. Although you had no way of knowing, you remembered how much larger the bump had been and how drained you had felt growing two pups instead of one. Sure, there had still been the month of morning sickness, along with the unusual cravings and the mobility issues that came with growing a new life, but you were relieved at how much easier it was to only house one.

Four years after the twins had come into the world and the fear that had once plagued your union was all but gone. Joel had become the man you knew he could be, the one he had always been capable of being but was too scared to after everything terrible that had happened to him. A part of you would like to think it had something to do with you, with how much the two of you loved each other, but you couldn’t discount the work he had put in. Being a dad again had terrified him, yet Joel had shown up for his pups and you every single day. You could tell that the responsibility of caring for Ellis and Alba at times felt like an anvil hanging above his head, could see it in the layer of sweat that glistened on his skin during the days that his past haunted him, but his broken heart had somehow started to mend around the people he loved.

And now Joel was your fiance. Or was he your husband now? You had no idea how this was supposed to work. The only weddings you had been to had all been awful, including your own travesty that had ended with you being shoved out the window by the two women in your life that loved you the most. Was the puffy white dress and boring churchy vows what you wanted? Surely not, but you had never experienced anything else. Not to mention the fact that the proposal had taken you completely off guard. Regardless of the few comments Joel had made over the five years of being together, along with the matching bite marks and house filled with his kids, you were never sure if it was something he truly wanted. Hell, you weren’t even about it until you saw the beautifully broad man down on one knee.

Although the purpose of such a gallant display had eluded you, the sight of the ring had drawn something out, the ghost of a memory long since forgotten. It sent you back to a time before Joel, or Josiah, or even Jake, when the world had been free of infected beings that shambled around in search of fresh meat. It was then that you had watched your parents laugh as they danced around the kitchen, had seen the princess meet her prince charming in one of the few films you were able to squeeze in before the world fell apart. As any little girl would, you had begun to dream of Prince Charming, someone who would love you unconditionally and be your best friend for the rest of your life. Never once had the younger dreamed that you would find him in the way you did, but every day since the first had proved to you that dreams could come true.

Even if one of the many adversaries had succeeded, at the very least you would have been able to say that you had been truly loved and known by someone beautiful. The way you felt about Joel Miller was intense. It was like being in love with the wind itself. He was all encompassing, wrapping around you during every storm and carrying you away from the merciless talons of reality. But it could also be gentle, soothing you on days when it felt like everything and everyone was against you.

Joel knew every piece of you, even the pieces that you had tried desperately to hide, and he loved them all. He could take you apart and put you back together without even breaking a sweat. And you tried to do the same for him, every single day. Which was why you didn’t care if Joel wanted a big ceremony, a small agreement in front of the family, or just a set of rings for one another. He was your mate, the love of your life, the father of your children, and your fucking husband as far as you were concerned. The specifics meant little to you when the end result was spending the rest of your life being loved by such a goddamn hunk.

“How’d I know you’d be down here getting into the chocolate?,” a syrupy voice, still thick from sleep, drawled from the bottom of the stairs.

The smile that spread across your face was involuntary, along with the small flutter of your heart. That was the effect Joel Miller had on you. Even after five years, two rowdy kids and another on the way, he could still make you weak in the knees. Before you had a chance to turn, Joel was already at your side, spinning you around and bending down to kiss you. He flooded your senses as his lips moved against yours, leaving you dazed that you missed when he snuck a hand into the bowl of sweet treats you held and stole one. As Joel pulled away, you laughed and beamed up at him, admiring how his curls looked all tousled from sleep. Although it had only been a few hours, he somehow looked completely refreshed, like all he had truly needed was a few hours buried in between your thighs and a quick nap to rejuvenate.

“Hm, maybe don’t knock me up if you want me to stay in bed and wait around for your ass to wake up babe. Mama was starving,” you shot back, giggling at the wary look he sent your way.

“Last time I checked, it was you that was begging me to cum inside and get you all round again. It takes two to tango sweetheart,” Joel joked, shaking his head at the jab, “You know, you could’ve woke me up honey. I would’ve gotten you something to eat, s’not good for you or her to wait if you’re hungry.”

“Roger that cowboy, no naps for you,” you teased, getting up on your tippy toes to press a kiss to his lips, “Don’t worry Joel, I was fine. Plus, I really just wanted to get a better look at this bad boy. It’s just so pretty.”

Joel grinned at that, plucking the hand in question from your belly to examine it himself. The way he lit up - god - it made you want to rewind time so that you could see it over and over again. He kissed the finger that he had adorned with the ring, admiring the shiny jewels for another second before he placed your palm over his steadily beating heart.

“M’glad you like it sweet girl. I wasn’t sure how you'd feel about it all. We’ve never really talked about getting married, especially not since Ellis and Alba came, but I knew that if I didn’t ask I’d regret it for the rest of my life. You’re my missing piece honey, and I want to be yours in every single way I can,” Joel admitted, his words hitting you square in the chest.

“Baby,” you admonished, “I can’t believe you thought I’d say no. It’s only ever been you and I’d like to keep it that way. You’re a part of me Joel, it feels like I can’t breathe when you’re not around. All I do while we’re apart is think about you and how much I love you. Fuck, or how good it feels to have you love me back. There’s nothing I’d rather do than - ah!”

You squeaked as Joel abruptly picked you up, kissing every inch of your face and neck as he carried you across the room. The nearly empty bowl was torn from your grasp, slammed down onto the coffee table before he fell back onto the couch with you in his lap. A series of giggles came from you as his mustache tickled your skin, only intensifying as Joel laid you back against the cushions and relentlessly tickled your sides. His laugh bounced off the high ceilings as he playfully wrestled you into a mess of breathless cackling. It was only when you begged him to stop that the assault finally ended. He pulled back to let you get some air, leaning over you with a soft smile as he did.

“I know that you love me darling, I just get nervous sometimes,” Joel said as he knocked his forehead against yours, “A good nervous honey, like I’m going to go nuts if I don’t remind you how much that I love ya. I just… I needed it to be perfect baby, you deserve nothing less.”

“It was Joel, I loved it. And for the record, I would have said yes if you asked while I was on the toilet. Don’t get me wrong, this is probably the most romantic thing I’ve ever experienced, but all I need is you baby. That’s all there has to be for it to be perfect Joel, just you,” you cooed.

And it was true. The grand gesture was heartwarming and amazing, but unnecessary. Joel could have asked you at the Tipsy Bison over greasy steak sandwiches, he could have asked you at the end of dinner while you both cleared the table, he could have asked you when you were curled up in bed with your reading glasses on while you thumbed through a book, or hell, like you said; he could’ve asked you on the toilet. In any scenario, you would have accepted and remembered the moment as one of the top ten of your lifetime. Joel was what made the whole thing special.

“Christ darling, I’m the luckiest man alive. I thought for sure you were gonna say no when you started asking me what the hell I was doing, damn near shit my pants,” Joel laughed, letting the weight of the admission roll off of his shoulders.

“To be fair, you don’t usually get down on your knees for me,” you chuckled.

The look Joel gave you at that statement was pointed, as if to say, do you wanna bet? It made you flush and giggle, rolling your eyes at his innuendo. Of course, he did get on his knees for you quite a bit, more so than you did for him as of late, but that wasn’t what you had meant. He wiggled his eyebrows at you and you groaned, playfully shoving at shoulders until he relented.

“Okay, you do get on your knees for me quite a bit. My bad baby, that was a poor choice of words. What I meant was… Well, you don’t usually get down on one knee for me. I didn’t understand what you were doing. For a second I thought that you were trying to help me take my shoes off like you used to when I was pregnant with the twins and I was about to tell you to get the hell up but then you started saying all of these incredibly sweet things,” you explained.

Joel guffawed, “Have you really never seen anyone do that? I guess I don’t really know what people do nowadays, but that used to be what ya did when you proposed. It’s tradition.”

Scrunching your nose, you tried to pry out any memory of the odd practice from your brain but came up blank. Perhaps you had seen it in passing on a TV show as a kid, but any recollections of that were long gone. All that remained were the memories of various community members, your mother, Jake, Cooper, and finally yourself, being dragged towards the council to be matched up with someone. It never mattered to those people what anyone thought about their designated match. Paul never got down on one knee, he just made a shady deal with your stepfather and boom, he was assigned to be your husband.

“No, I’ve never seen it. Where I’m from, alphas would never get down on their knees - in any context - for their omega. They just bought them by making a deal with someone on the council and then there would be a wedding. Nobody gave a fuck what we thought,” you admitted quietly, sighing as your past bubbled up from the depths once more.

The way Joel’s face dropped made you frown, but he was quick to haul you up, maneuvering you until you were straddling his lap again. His face was wide open as he gazed upon you, uncaring of the mess the two of you were as he brushed his hands over every inch of your naked body. Peering at Joel in the soft light, he too was a mess of sweat and cum. It didn’t make you nervous to be so bare in front of him anymore, he had seen it all by now. In fact, it made you feel like you were on solid ground, like the two of you were equals in the soft glow of the candlelight.

“M’sorry baby, I didn’t even consider that,” Joel sighed, “I guess that I always just dreamed of doing it that way. It’s a real old tradition that’s supposed to be a sign of devotion, of love, which is why I thought it was fitting. There’s no one else I’m more devoted to, or love more than you honey. You and our pups, that’s it, s’all I need.”

A rush of dopamine filled you, his sweet words making you practically glow. Perhaps Joel was not the Prince Charming most people would dream of but he was yours, and he somehow always knew just how to make you squirm like a lovestruck teenager.

“Please don’t apologize Joel. I didn’t understand, but I still loved it and I…” you trailed off, unsure of how to finish the sentence.

With nothing else to say, you pressed your lips against his. Joel hummed, cradling your face as he allowed you to take charge. The kiss was slow and loving, leaving the both of you yearning to weld yourselves to one another so that you’d never have to part. If you could, you’d keep him in your back pocket instead of leaving for the clinic every day but that was impossible. Joel had a job to do and the twins needed parents that weren’t so busy mooning over each other that they forgot to feed them. But you supposed that these moments were for that, cherishing one another in the solitude of a paradise found.

“Darling, whatever you need, I’ve got you,” he sighed as he pulled back.

You grinned and nuzzled his jaw, breathing his scent for another few seconds until the spicy aroma coated the back of your throat. Pulling away, you smiled at his heavy lidded eyes, reveling in the fact that you could get Joel drunk off of you with just the briefest of touches. The air was thick, the candles and your overheated bodies seeming to make the summer night even more stifling, but you didn’t mind. With sweat covering every inch of you, along with a steady stream of his cum trickling down your thighs, you looked out at the fast moving waters outside.

“What do you say we go for a dip?,” you asked as you turned towards him with a grin, “You did promise to take me swimming once.”

Joel answered your grin with an even bigger one, nodding wildly as he pulled the both of you up from the couch. In seconds, the two of you were scampering towards the door, laughing like kids as you hurried towards the ultimate cool off. There was only one pause, when you begrudgingly slipped off the ring and left it on the table by the door to ensure that it didn’t get swept away, but then you were both back to racing towards the water.

“Geronimo,” Joel called, his voice muffled by the heavy stream pounding off the rocks as he leaped from the bridge.

You came to a halt at the very edge, waiting for him to surface before you followed him in. It was a bit daunting for you to jump into water without him, especially with the memory of your last dip in the moving waters of Montana still fresh in your mind. The grin he gave you when his head breached through the water was infectious, but that didn’t stop you from glancing at the edge of the swimming hole, remembering how you had almost drowned before being flung into one that looked just like it.

A sinking feeling crept over you as your eyes followed the current, thinking about how you had shivered and puked after dragging yourself up onto the bank. You remembered crying out for Joel, despite the fact that he was nowhere to be found. Those memories were ones you tried hard to avoid, but the sight of the rushing waters flung you into the moments after you first jumped in and you drifted away from the man in the water who grinned at you.

The shock of the cold held you down beneath the waves and you felt your body quickly torn away from the shore. You flipped and somersaulted weightlessly in the rushing waters, every attempt at paddling to the surface useless against the current. More pain erupted from your side as the river slammed you against one of the rocks and a groan was muffled by the water. Desperate to breathe, you sucked in a mouthful of the frigid water but it stung your chest. Panic bloomed from within at the realization that you were drowning.

Your lungs screamed for oxygen but you were stuck, shoved against the solid stone and weighed down by the rapids. Opening your eyes didn’t help, as all you could see from the bottom of the river was black. Was this it? Was this how you would die? You were infuriated at the thought. How could this be the thing that killed you? After everything you had been through, drowning seemed absolutely ridiculous. No, this couldn’t be it. Not with Joel somewhere alone and in pain. Not when you finally had a home.

“Come on sweetheart, what’s the hold up? Are ya chicken or something?,” Joel’s cut into your panic fueled remembrance, snapping you back to the present in an instant.

You focused on the way Joel smiled at you, letting it bring you back down to earth. Joel Miller was right in front of you, he had survived the arena and you had survived going after the people that had made the mistake of taking him away from you. As scary as almost drowning had been, you didn’t die that day. And if Joel’s face wasn’t enough to soothe the swirling memories that locked you in place, all you had to do was look down at the swell sticking out from your tummy or think about the twins back home with their grandmother. They wouldn’t even exist if the worst had come to pass. A midnight swim in the river with the love of your life was not going to be the thing that killed you, the universe would have to try harder than that.

“Not scared baby, just taking it all in,” you answered him, taking a deep breath before you leaped in behind him.

There were no excruciating pins and needles from the temperature this time, nor were there ice chunks thumping you in the back, just a cool embrace that immediately shooed away the overwhelming heat that plagued you back in the lodge. That and the man that grinned at you as your head broke the surface made it perfect. Joel swam over in an instant, pulling you into the shallow end so he could wrap your legs around him. The two of you bobbed with the waves and you breathed a sigh of relief. The night had gotten progressively more humid, signaling an incoming burst of rain, but the water was perfect and so was he.

“See, s’not so bad, is it sweet girl?,” Joel teased, whispering it into your ear as he nibbled on your neck.

“Hmmm, nope,” you answered, tilting your head so that he could get better access to his mark, “Plus, the company is pretty good. I never thought I’d get to see you run but-ass naked into a river and yell geronimo, but now you’ve truly sold me on this whole marriage thing. My husband, the absolute dork.”

He snorted, “Takes one to know darling.”

With that, Joel bit down on your gland hard and you moaned. It was maddening how easily he could get to you, as you could already feel all of the tired muscles in your abdomen that had been fucked into submission tighten up again at the small move. He wasn’t ignorant of his abilities either. Each move by him was incredibly precise, like taking you apart was down to a mathematical equation that only he knew the answer to. The way Joel laved his tongue over the indents he made over your skin, his fingers digging into your asscheeks to keep you still as your hips began to twitch, all worked in tandem to have you dripping for him in seconds.

The water, once so refreshing to the both of you, was now in the way of the heat growing between you, and Joel wasted no time pulling you from it. He laid you out against the soft ground, keeping his lips on yours the entire time. His tongue teased the seam of your mouth and you gladly let him in, sighing in frustration when he continued to err on the side of caution. Exasperated, you wrapped your legs around Joel and flipped the two of you over, straddling him just as a crack of lightning flashed through the sky.

“Christ baby, maybe we should - ungh - oh fuck me,” he groaned, eyes going round as you grasped his length and dropped down hard.

“I don’t care,” you snapped, lifting yourself up so that only the tip remained before you slammed down again.

The pace you set was rough and desperate, Joel’s cock making your mind go completely blank as you rode him into slack jawed submission. He gripped your hips, your breasts, anything he could reach as raindrops started to fall from the sky. And still, you kept on going, moaning and throwing your head back like a depraved whore as another crack of lightning illuminated your bare skin. The rain started as a sprinkle at first, but it soon picked up, drenching the two of you as he grabbed your hips and began to help you ride him.

“Fuck, just like that babygirl. Ungh, so fucking tight every time. Can you hear how wet she is for me? Goddammit, such a needy thing aren’t you? Can’t even wait to get inside, gotta have it out here. Christ, I fucking love you honey, such a good fucking girl for me,” Joel groaned.

The words made you throw your head back, pace faltering slightly as your walls clenched and unclenched around him. With the curls around the base of his cock tickling your clit, his strong arms forcing you to stretch around his wide girth with every downstroke, you couldn’t help but lock up. A garbled shriek fell from your lips, dwarfed only by the sound of thunder, so close that it almost shook the ground. Still, you couldn’t find it in you to care about the danger, not when you were cumming and falling over him as you tore at his graying curls.

“Joel, I can’t, ohmyfuckinggod, yes, yes, yes,” you mewled, shaking against him as the orgasm tore through you.

Joel grunted as he flipped you over, tearing his cock out of you the seconds that the last vestiges of your orgasm petered away. Before you even had a chance to whine about it, he had already plucked you from the ground. He ignored all of your nonsensical pleas for him to release you, letting out a low growl when you tried to wiggle out of his grasp. That stilled you, along with the dark look he gave you.

“Nope, stay fucking still,” Joel snipped, readjusting so that he could carry you bridal style towards the lodge, “S’not safe for you two out here. It’s way too dangerous, shouldn’t of even let you start but fuck, that pussy is just so fucking perfect. How could I say no to her?”

“Joooel, c’mon, it’s fine!,” you pleaded, letting out a yelp when he leaned down and bit the spot on your neck that sent a wave of tingles down to your core.

“Enough honey, I need to keep you safe - fuck - need to protect what is mine. My pup and my fucking wife can’t be out here in the storm. Need to take care of ya, so hush up,” he stammered, the truth behind his hardened features peaking through.

The alpha in your mate was ready to breathe fire, causing Joel’s chest to rumble with useless threats pointed towards a force of nature of all things. He wouldn’t be soothed until you and his unborn pup were out of danger, even if the likelihood of you actually being struck by lightning were slim to none. Still, you didn’t fight him on it, too distracted by the way he continued to nip and suck at your neck each step of the way. As miffed as you were about the quick venue change, you had to admit, it was sexy when Joel let himself be overcome by his instincts. His need to fulfill his biological duty made you squirm in excitement, and you quickly decided to rile him up just a little bit more.

“Shhh, I know baby,” you cooed in between soft moans, going crazy at the way Joel continued to spit possessive mantras between his teeth, “You’re so good at protecting us, so glad that’s I’m yours Joel. And you’re mine, do you hear that? Nobody else can have you - fuck - I fucking love you.”

Joel let out a pained whine and pulled his face away from the love bites he had left as he neared the door. Any of the brown in his puppy dog eyes were gone, replaced by a pitch black that was ravenous for every inch of you. He ripped open the door, practically tearing it off as he marched inside and kicked it shut behind him. Ignoring the treats and the ridiculous amount of flowers, he hurried over to the couch so that he could throw you down against the cushions.

“I’m yours darling, nobody else can make me feel like this,” Joel admitted, clambering between your thighs and tearing them apart so he could stare at your drenched slit, “And look at that, she’s still so fucking needy. Fucking hell, I gotta taste that sweet little pussy on my tongue.”

Before you even had the chance to respond, Joel had lifted both of your legs up over his shoulders and was devouring your pussy like it was a four course meal. A slew of curse words fell from your lips, followed by a drawn out wail as he suckled your throbbing clit into his mouth. Joel chuckled against your folds as you pulled at his hair, yanking the strands and squirming so much that he had to double down on the hold he had on your hips. The way he was building you up was too much, sucking your nub even further into his mouth so he could bat at it with his tongue. The pressure inside of you continued to build, until you were sure it was going to kill you, but Joel knew you too well. Just as you started to suppress the urge to explode, he had already reached up to tweak at your nipples, giving you just enough stimulation to break.

“Oh my god, f-fuck yes. Please daddy, m’gonna - ouu shit,” you shrieked, shaking as liquid ecstasy flooded your veins.

The way Joel groaned into your sopping cunt, his desperate sounds vibrating against you, had you twitching as the pleasure washed over you. He was relentless, sucking up every bit of moisture as slick poured out of you with each devastating wave. And just when it had petered off, when you thought he might let you go so that he could slam his cock back inside again, you felt him double down on his efforts. A choked whine was torn from your throat, ignored by Joel as he used you however he damn well pleased. It was only worse when you looked down and caught a glimpse of his pinched brow, moaning at the sight of his closed eyes as he focused all of his attention on forcing you into another orgasm.

“D-Daddy please - ungh - SHIT baby, just like that. Fuck, you’re gonna make me cum again already. Ooooooh my fucking god!,” you cried out, thrashing against his hold as your walls began to clench around nothing.

A request was on the tip of your tongue, but Joel was much too attuned to your every desire. As the storm raged outside, the rain now pounding against the windows and the thunder making the foundation shudder, the embarrassingly loud praises were drowned out as he slipped two, then one more finger inside of you. With how soaked you were, the three digits slipped in and out easily, working you into a frenzy as the rough pads rubbed so attentively over that sensitive spot inside of you that had your legs shaking over his shoulders.

The command for you to cum was muffled into your folds, almost drowned out by your relentless babbling, but you caught it. All it took was one particularly harsh thrust of his fingers, combined with a devastating suckle and flick combo from his mouth, and you were gone once more. Every thought flew out of your mind, the pleasure burning so bright, spreading out from your core until you were boneless and sobbing. As you orgasm petered off, you pushed at Joel’s head with more insistence, signaling to him that you were much too sensitive for a third.

“Mmmm, fucking delicous babygirl,” Joel sighed as he pulled away, shoving his fingers into his mouth the second they were released from your twitching core.

Watching him through hazy eyes, you couldn’t help but moan at the show he was giving you. It was so filthy, so downright depraved, that you couldn’t help but buck your hips up at him. A breeze filtered in from outside, hardening your nipples in a way that had Joel licking his lips. You reached a hand out to him, the desire in his eyes making you squirm, but he didn’t grab it. Instead he stared at it for a moment, letting out a frustrated noise before he was suddenly retreating.

“J-Joel? What?,” you called, lifting yourself up onto your elbows to watch him go.

Joel ignored your soft voice and you whimpered, desperate for him to return despite the fact that he hadn’t even left the room. Naked and splayed out, pussy crying for attention from the man with the monster between his legs, you were a disaster. But he was too busy, completely ignoring you as he headed towards the door. Tears blurred your vision at his refusal to say anything, a deep seeded desperation coming from within, and you cried out.

“Please,” you squeaked, overwhelmed by the pangs of desire that came from your very being.

It wasn’t just Joel’s cock you needed. No, it was his touch, his gentle words, his loving gaze. All of him was so perfect that you knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you would yearn for his presence until the day you died. But with his attention elsewhere at that moment, you felt like you were going to wither and die.

“Hush now darling, m’right here. You’re gonna be okay baby, I’ve gotcha,” Joel cooed, dropping down onto the couch so he could blanket himself over you.

The weight of his heated skin against yours was one thing, but the smell of him was another. As you shoved your nose into the crook of Joel’s neck, taking in lungfuls of the delicious scent that was forever entwined with yours. A heavy sigh came from him, followed by an excited little chirp from you when he pulled back to kiss you on the tip of the nose.

“Wasn’t going nowhere honey, just wanted to give ya this,” Joel chuckled as he held up the ring you had slipped off before heading out to the river.

“Mmm, I guess I can forgive you, ring pleeease,” you giggled, fluttering your fingers at him until he grabbed the hand.

The ring slid back onto your finger so perfectly that you couldn’t help but grin. It was toothy and wide, much too dorky to be sexy but Joel didn’t seem to mind. Instead, he matched your energy, looking like a kid in a candy store as his nose brushed yours. However, the second you felt his forgotten length rub against your core, reminding you of how the two of you were but naked and pressed together against the couch, the mood changed. The gaze upon you went from light and loving, to possessive and so devoted that one could mistake it for insanity. A shiver inched up your spine, goosebumps prickling the skin he brushed his hands over again and again.

“Fuck baby, this is how I want you from now on. No clothes, just that fucking ring. God, s’like the mark, drives me wild every time I see it. Just another reminder that you’re fucking mine, mine to fuck, mine to take care of - shit - to marry, oh sweet Jesus,” Joel groaned, his words working the both of you up.

“I want to get you a ring too,” you rushed out, hissing through your teeth as he started to rut against you, “Want to see it every single day, want everyone else to see it too, want all of the people in town to know that you’re my alpha, my mate, my husband, you’re mine too Joel.”

That tore an animalistic groan from Joel and he nodded, grabbing the base of his cock so he could place it at your entrance. Even though he had just been inside of you, he halted for a moment, looking at you for confirmation that this was what you wanted. It filled you with warmth, your sweet alpha always checking in on you no matter how obvious it might seem to anyone else that you wanted him. And you knew that Joel would stop if you wanted him to, no questions asked. He only ever wanted to make you feel good.

“Please baby,” was all you had to say and then Joel was pressing into you, draping himself over your nude form as your mouth dropped open from the stretch.

You felt every ridge, every throbbing vein of his thick cock. A grunt came from you as Joel’s reddened tip brushed against your cervix. He pressed a line of kisses into your neck, ending it with a final peck to your swollen lips. A breathy whine tumbled out as he started a slow pace, circling his hips into the cradle of your own on every downstroke. The way his pubic hair scrubbed at your oversensitive clit was perfect. That and the way you panted into each other’s mouths, sharing breaths in between desperate kisses as strings of arousal dribbled down both of your thighs.

“Pretty girl, my girl, so good for me, TOO good for me,” Joel joked your legs up a little higher around his waist, drawing a breathy moan from you as he slid a little deeper, “Just like that, hm? Is that the spot? Right there honey? Feels so good, you’re so good, shi-it.”

“Yes, right there Joel. S’good baby, you make me feel so fucking good,” you answered, tearing at his shoulders with your claws as he dug into you a bit harder.

The air was sweltering as you writhed against one another, every inch of your bodies pressed together so perfectly. Keeping a passionate pace, Joel grabbed one of your hands, the other slithering down to cup the growing life between you. Tears sprung to your eyes at the simple gesture and when you looked into his eyes, you saw how his glimmered as well. Ever the caretaker, Joel made a sympathetic noise and bent down to kiss your eyelids, doting upon you despite his own swelling emotions.

“I love you Joel,” you whispered, heart bursting at the seams.

“I love you too darling, so much that it scares me sometimes. I’d die for you, I’d kill for you, fuck - m’gonna live for you. My whole life is yours baby, gonna keep you nice and full, gonna take care of you - ohmygod - gonna make sure you never need a thing. I’ll give it to you baby, anything you fucking want, just ask,” Joel rambled.

“Kiss me, make me feel it,” you whined, not even fully sure what it was you were asking him for.

The whine Joel let out as kissed you was pornographic, so much so that you wished you had the means to record it. Although you had heard about the joys of sex tapes and somewhat understood how the vague concept of the internet had revolutionized the masturbation of many. However, you had never truly understood the appeal. It all seemed so crass and disconnected. Why would you want to watch two strangers fuck when you could go find Joel? However, the first time the need for him had hit while your mate was too busy with work to do anything about it, you couldn’t help but wish you had some footage to aid in the experience. Fuck, who were you kidding? You didn’t even need a video, just the sound of his deep grunts as he thrusted into you would be more than enough to get you there.

“I w-wish I could take a video of us like this,” you admitted when he pulled back, too drunk off of him to censor yourself, “Would be so fucking hot, I’d watch it every - gah mmph - every single day baby. God, all I need is the audio and I’d be happy, wanna listen to the sexy noises my husband makes when he - oooh fuck - when he fucks me.”

Joel chuckled, pulling back so he could look you in the eye as he said, “I don’t know how sweetheart, but m’gonna make that happen if it’s the last fucking thing I do.”

The response you had died on your lips as the angle of his thrusts changed, his cock now brushing up against every pleasure spot inside, lighting up all of your nerve endings like the fourth of July. A wicked grin came from Joel when you let out a throaty groan, your head thumping back against the cushion as slick gushed from your throbbing cunt.

“Oh, that’s it, isn’t it sweetheart? Did daddy find the spot? Fuck yeah I did, can feel her squeezing me like a goddamn vice. Choking my cock so fucking good, like you were made for it. Love it, love you so much baby,” Joel keened, his voice going up a few octaves with the strain of holding off.

“G-Gonna cum, shit, gonna cum Joel,” you warned him.

A choked noise came from your mate, followed by a litany of broken whines as Joel slammed his knot into your silken walls. You howled, exploding around the thickness of his flared base in a way that had you both boneless and wailing as his cum started to pour into you. His fingers dug into your hips, keeping them still so he could grind up into you, prolonging each and every release until you disintegrated into an overstimulated mess. The pleasure was so intense that you clamped down onto Joel’s shoulder, muffling your whines into his skin as you were thrown into space. By the time you were done cumming, he had filled you up so much that you were sure it would be leaking out of you for fucking days.

“Holy shit,” Joel panted, rolling the two of you over so that he could steer clear of squashing your abdomen.

A chuckle was all you could give, too fucked out to do anything else but rub his scalp in the way you knew Joel liked. Moaning from the attention, he melted into you. He nosed at your breasts, sighing into them as you pressed a kiss onto the top of his head. It didn’t matter that the couch was slightly cramped, or that there was a storm slamming into the sides of the house, or that the two of you were covered in sweat, what mattered was the way he hummed in satisfaction as you whispered a soft I love you baby into his curls, quickly answering it with his own slurred admission of adoration.

Soon, Joel’s knot would go down and the two of you would drag yourselves off to bed, perhaps even going a couple more rounds before you had to return to Jackson. But for now, with your bodies entangled and your hearts one, you couldn’t think of anywhere else you’d rather be. As Joel dozed, his hands cradling your tummy as he dreamt about god knows what, you smiled to yourself. Despite everything that had taken place, you had made it. In that moment, with the two of you snuggled so close and the rest of your family waiting back home, you realized that neither of you were alone anymore and you’d never have to be ever again.

The world was a ruthless place and many times your spine had almost snapped under the pressure but luckily there was someone who made it easier. Joel lifted the burden that came with existence, a cross which every human being was forced to bear, by simply existing. All of the chains around your soul had been torn off by that man, freeing you in ways that even he could never fully understand. Joel Miller was the first good thing in your life and after years of nothing but horror, you finally had proof that it wasn’t senseless to hope, to dream, to want something more for yourself. It was rare, but sometimes good things did come for those with the stomach to wait for it. So many times you had wanted to give up, to throw away any chance at happiness for the sake of comfort, but you hadn’t.

And now, with the home you had always dreamed of embodied in the man who brought color into your life, you knew that it was all worth it. The two of you had felt the sharp sting of rejection, of loss, of grief, of spite, that sting had been the only thing keeping either of you alive before meeting each other. The tragedy of knowing true pain, not the kind that people mentioned in passing, but a true overwhelming grief surrounding the wretchedness of one’s own existence, had driven you both to the point of madness. It had seemed like hope was lost, only for the impossible to become reality in the blink of an eye.

Fate had brought you both to the river that day, braiding your souls together so painfully tight that they could never possibly be torn apart again. And as the night slowly bled into dawn, you found comfort in the knowledge that the two of you finally had a life of peace. The world would turn in on itself as it always did, ensuring pain and perhaps even violence in the futures of many, but you were unshaken. Joel was your future. The family the two of you had built together with blood, sweat, and tears was your future.

In a world poisoned by such constant agony, one might wonder what the point of any of it was and whether anything really mattered at all, but not you. No, you had learned first hand how to appreciate the simple things.

The masterpiece of unending devotion that was created between two lovers.

The divinity in a broken spirit when it finally loves and is loved in return.

The violence that could come from protecting the person who made life more than just surviving.

The transcendence of becoming the person you always wanted to be, the person you were always meant to become.

The wholeness that came as a result of it all.

To have Joel, to love him and be loved by him, was worth whatever price. There was nothing else more noble, more commendable to fight for than the gift that was true love. So as the man in question muttered in his sleep, yanking you even further into his embrace, you went willingly, allowing yourself to relish in the victory that was being happy in spite of it all. With Joel, you were home, the rest of it was meaningless.

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