#love makes you blind etc etc
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give me your complete and unwavering devotion.
#cant have a vampsona without some religious imagery#i love the dynamic of a god and a devotee#a servant completely and utterly devoted to her god and yet a god is nothing without its worshippers#still has that power imbalance yet that necessity of being together#yummiii#also i hope the three wise monkeys reference was clear !!!#its basically telling her to turn a blind eye on others. telling her to avoid having evil thoughts i.e. not being devoted etc#idk does that make sense ??? eh whatever thought it was p cool#š©ā±šŖ#my art#tw blood#hints of cannibalism if you squint hard enough
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I spent like 3 hours just drawing these guys and nothing else while I watched Trollhunters the other day. My computer's being stupid again so digital art's on hold but you know what I still have my fucking hands you can't stop me
And Dictatious
#HE'S DIFFERENT EVERY TIME I DRAW HIM MAKE IT STOPPP#the third one's my fav personally#I love the angle#that and the last one because that's when I finally had a good idea how to draw this guy#dictatious I'm coming for you you're next š«µ#[he's just blinky but sharper and emo]#also working with the idea of him only being blinded on one side of his face#I'll get back to you on that#blinkous galadrigal#dictatious galadrigal#aaarrrgghh trollhunters#tales of arcadia#hello again trollhunters fandom#sketches#doodles#etc#I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I'M THIS CLOSE TO MAKING A RANT POST#him and dictatious are literally everything to me right now
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Does a podcast ever release a take you disagree with so strongly it makes you question everything you heard on it up to that point
#this is so niche and only interesting to other people who spend 10 hours a day listening to podcasts so i'm putting it in the tags#but s1ep3 of invisibilia about the blind guy who learned to echolocate so well he could ride a bike was fucking wild#the take was like. okay okay backing up a bit we all agree disability is socially constructed in some ways right?#ie people treat blind people in certain ways that reinforce an inability to function in society get jobs etc#they have certain expectations of people who are blind that can be limiting. right. so we all agree on that#but that was not the end of the take! the take was that because disability is socially constructed the solution is#to expect the same level of independence from blind people as you do from seeing people#and that also was not the end of the take because the way this man tried to accomplish that was forcing blind children to climb trees#this guy had achieved a high level of independence but in the process of learning to echolocate had knocked out multiple teeth#he was like 'the biggest barrier to blind people's ability to function in society is their parents' love for them'#because parents prevent blind children from exploring getting close to roads etc#and anyway i think that although parents may infantilize blind children more than necessary there is a strong financial incentive to#make sure they do not get hit by a car or break a bone#the solution of just getting blind people to act exactly like seeing people also seems odd#what's wrong with requiring help from others? why have we decided independence is the only way to function in society?#should all disabled people just be willing to injure themselves in order to get as close as possible to independence#in order to hold down a job which we have decided is the only way to earn the right to live#is there only one correct way to live a life?#it truly baffled me. i was sorting that mail going ššš¤#anyway. this has been your podcast take of the day
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Y'all do know you can't make Jason be NOT white without changing his whole character, right?
For other characters, yes, because their physical appearance are not that influential in their story, on how they are viewed by people, on their personality formation ā you can have a black/asian/indigenous/arab/brown/latino/etc Nico and yes, the hate he gets will have a undertone of racism but at the same time nothing significant on his story, motivation or personality will need to change. This is also true for other characters: Clarisse risks repeating the "aggressive WoC" stereotype but the character itself doesn't change.
This isn't true for Jason, whose main character trait is how he is perceived by others and how he showcases himself to others based on that perception. (specially with how little effort Riordan put on him besides making him perfect-er Percy who's somehow also weaker and less important than him).
Let's not pretend a black, Arab, indigenous, Asian, Latin man, etc, in the USA would ever be treated with the universal reverence Jason gets from New Roma, you can't have the illusion of perfection and most of all, of invincibility they have about him when you see him suffering racism or xenophobia in the middle of a mission. In theory, nothing in his life has ever gone wrong, that's his image, destined to be king, he is supposed to have no weakness on his peers eyes.
He is not trying to prove people wrong, he is trying to prove them right; he isn't worthy despite their prejudice, on the contrary, he only tried to make himself worthy to fulfill their expectations. He can't be a woman or an immigrant or have a visible disability or any other thing that strays him from a perfect ideal by western society standards, and be that same character.
#Different from the other white character in the series he was never questioned or doubted#There's a presumption of perfection with no exceptions that society doesn't give to us (women poc immigrants visible minorities in general)#His privilege (handsome white man with no visible disability son of Zeus etc) also prevented anyone from worrying for his well being#This illusion/expectation of him having no weakness/being untouchable pushes himself too far and clouds his judgment.#I headcanon he didn't even consider the possibility of myopia because that wouldn't fit Jason Grace Son of Jupiter so it wasn't an option#And you think it'd be the same character after facing racism? Because ain't no way he'd be praetor without going through racism#I think I'd love him nonetheless since I'm very weak to the whole golden boy tearing himself to save the world but it'd be a new character#jason grace#I know racism in USA is different from here but I know how different a ānon-racistā white person treats me and treats my white friends#Also for him to not be an entirely different character if PoC would be incredibly disrespectful and racist on its own#It would fail to recognize the difference in how we are read (and written). I hate that a lot.#I remember that when Cody told Brandi āI see no colorā she told him āthen you don't see meā and that's so fucking striking#We ARE different. treated differently. if you act like you don't see it then you also turn a blind eye to the violence that comes from it#This is straying from my point I got a bit heated banalization of things I care about usually does that to me#Point is please don't change Jason on the very few things that man actually bothered writing about him#I actually think this is true about Octavian too. A lot of what he is allowed to do would not be possible if he weren't a white man.#Same for Rachel Elizabeth Dare. I mean you can work around making her poc but it will truly be pushing A LOT#Let's put it this way: a woc doing a street performance is perceived very differently from a white woman doing a street performance.#Specially in the eyes of cops#Pjo
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for a webbed site that claims to love rehabilitative justice tumblr sure has a love of vengeance huh. somehow weāve created a digital atmosphere where literal murder is less bad than (checks notes) not emerging from the womb with a perfectly calibrated moral compass and the Correct Political Opinions
Iāve seen people on here say that, not only can people Not Change, but that people who try to change are a) lying b) manipulative and c) undeserving of the chance to change. bestiesā¦becoming a better person isnāt about whether or not you deserve to become a better person, itās not even about becoming 100% perfect, itās about doing damage control after you realize you fucked up. like yeah people youāve hurt arenāt obligated to like you/forgive you/interact with you, but tumblrites seem to think that anyone whoās ever made a serious mistake should be exiled from society and/or guillotined. weāve gone from reasonable and correct takes about how people change (ex. āitās not my responsibility to teach youāā yes! of course it shouldnāt be up to underprivileged random people on the internet to educate the uninformed!) to utterly deranged ones (ex. ānobody with privilege will ever realize that theyāre doing harm and the ones who claim to be in the process of learning are just virtue signaling and should be punished for itāā a take Iāve seen applied to men learning about feminism, cishets becoming allies, white people learning about antiracism, relatives of shooters who go on to advocate for gun control, etc)
you do realize that people can genuinely change for the better, right? Iāve seen my parents un-transphobia themselves firsthand, going from thinking that my sibling came out āfor attentionā to wholeheartedly believing in trans rights. my grandmaās father was every kind of asshole imaginable and she grew up indoctrinated, but as an adult she broke away from him and has spent the rest of her life working on unlearning stuff. my cousin grew up in the rural south and parroted his rural southern dadās opinions until he was thirteen and started actually thinking for himself, at which point he did a total 180 and is now studying history with a focus on the evolution of the rights of the underprivileged
so when I see people on here say that people shouldnāt change because they donāt deserve to change it rubs me the wrong way. cause at that point it sounds like youād rather have that person stay harmful so you can stay mad at them, instead of letting them change and gaining yourself an ally. again, you donāt need to interact with them, but. at this point it kind of feels like you care more about hating The Oppressors than about protecting The Oppressed.
#also for the love of god this is about politics not fandom.#TO BE CLEAR I do also believe in rehabilitative justice for literal murder whenever possible as well.#i think that the vast majority of humans would be ok people if not for circumstances#(ex indoctrination trauma desperation externalized-self-hatred ignorance etc)#and that rehabilitation/change isnāt about whether or not you ādeserve itā but about whether or not youāre making an effort#because either we punish people for ever and ever Or we gain allies. and one option is more tangibly beneficial than the other#standard disclaimer: I am white and therefore probably verbalizing some of this in a wrong or questionable way and/or have holes in my logi#because I have blind spots due to privilege. I know. Nobodyās obligated to tell me where they are or how to fix them#but I donāt hold it against you if you read this and think āyikes. (x) sentiment is kind of questionableā and inform me if you so choose#so long as you donāt literally want me exiled and/or dead itās chill. to be clear. calling people out/pointing out bias is one thing#calling for their head on a platter is another
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every day I thank god fans aren't in charge of making updates to games
#unless ofc you play tf2#but STILL like. ive seen so many bullshit rebalances for spies and snipers#and like. ik the current system is plain tiring to fight against but these people WOULD MAKE IT WORSE#i just saw a post about fallout 4 changes#and some of them are obvious. like changing danses dialogue after blind betrayal etc#but like. NO. some of these.....#WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO REPAIR NICKS FACE?#1 thats his charm. hes old and broken down. 2 it would NOT help his identity issues#like this is the face and hes made it his own. hes no longer an institute synth AND he's no longer the pre-war human detective valentine#also romancing him....eh. i admit i would also love to romance him#but to quote one of the disco elysium creators: the thing about desires is that theyre much stronger when theyre not fully satiated#thered for sure be still nick simpers ofc. as am i. but imo i think thered be less#and again coming back to tf2. i saw recently a post on reddit that made a concept sapper for spy to use on medics#and like please šššyou want to sap the medigun? you want to sap Ć¼bercharge? you want to hurt medics EVEN MORE?#playing med well is hard enough as is normal girl. there was a comment down below saying that the spy should have sappers for each class#and WHAT. STOP. the spy ALREADY has a way to hurt all classes!#if he gets close enough he either dies immediately or backstabs! why do you want to sap too!#and spy is already SPECIFICALLY a counter to engie! and gets countered by pyro! its a good balance imo#ofc theres some tweaks to be made for each class but CMON. thatd be a HUGE rework for spy#and some other comment said that a sapped medigun should hurt teammates. FRIENDLY FIRE IS EXPLICITLY NOT A THING!!!#we should bully spy mains more btw#okay. bitching over. sorry#i have more to say but ughhhhhhhh#thatd be pretty much just repeating what i already said basically#mine#rant
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why didn't peridot stay disabledā¦ it would've added to their whole message of being different being okay and diversity andā¦. sighā¦.
#she didn't have magic in a magic-oriented society and used limb enhancers as a disability aidā¦#but they immediately threw out her limb enhancers because they posed a threat to them I guess#and then they gave peridot metal powers anyway#sorry I'm thinking thoughts.#su does a lot of things really well I very much admire it's queer rep and interesting storyline and mental health commentary etc#but the thing it does quite poorly imo is disability rep. at least when it comes to physical disabilities#and this is also a problem with steven's healing powers#while I understand he has diamond powers which means he's going to have quite strong abilities#I think healing powers have to have some limitations or else you're implying that disabilities can be cured#which is a very uncomfortable concept#steven cures connieās eyesight without knowing he even can (and without her permission ofc)#which I feel at least implies he can cure blindness#and he cures literal death so I don't think there are Any limitations?#which is frustrating#sighā¦#don't get me wrong I love this show#I just. I want disability rep I don't see enough good disability rep#I love toh forever for giving me the clawthornes because hello chronically ill characters I love seeing myself in you š„¹#anyway if I ever make art of peridot someday I'm gonna try to remember she deserves new limb enhancers or something.#or if I make a human peridot I'll give her prosthetics or some kind of mobility aid because! she deserves it I love her#you know what I'm thinking of kid cosmic too why doesn't chuck get a new translator or a wheelchair#bro said it hurts to speak english and he literally does not have legs get this man some disability aids PLEASE
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i think a lot of people coddle kuai liang too much. yes heās good and a tortured man etc. and people see that he has struggled but donāt really see that he still is struggling and has faults. even in mk12 people arenāt really talking about how he did in fact try to kill bi-han- which yes, he would have regretted, but that is still a fault you have to see in him. heās susceptible to fits of blind rage that will make him do things heāll regret. his anger was justified (obviously) but heās also capable of murdering his own brother (which once again, i am sure he would have regretted).
#like criticism of writing aside- that is who he is now. he isnāt an innocent baby who needs to be constantly coddled#heās a nice guy heās a great guy etc etc etc but he has these negative traits that are a part of his character#idk if infantilizing would be the right word for what i feel like this fandom does to him#as much as i talk about bihan itās kuai liang whoās the character who i love most#mostly for sentimental reasons due to being the character i first liked#but i feel like the fandom doesnāt really appreciate him as much as they want to ābabyā him#and once again heās one of the purest characters out there!! but heās also full of a lot of pain#and in mk12 we actually saw him exert that pain into rage which almost killed bihan#and itās a negative part of him (the consequences of his blinding rage) that we have to also accept as a part of him#this isnāt directed at anyone this is just a general problem i have with the fandom#i like him a lot and think he has faults we should also appreciate him for and that negative traits in a character donāt make them a bad#character but make them more interesting š#i think his anger is now brushed off as āoh yeah itās justifiedā and like yeah but also do you see how he almost killed bihan? how he#violently killed the guards?#how he would have done that to bihan if he was not stopped by a gaurd?#his anger is beyond something thatās just ājustifiedā itās also something that *can* control him#and yes iām aware he ended up sparing bihan after their fight but thatās not the point iām making#kuai liang#talking;
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id like some podcast recs please
you can have. one podcast rec. this one
#m#asks#audio drama#derelict#id do more but I can't personalise the recs if i dont know who U ARE. lol#so you are getting the one that i just finished because it is making me crazy my brain is rattling around my skull its soo good.#dies exolodes screams cries etc etc etc#the sound mixing does make dialogue a lil hard to hear at points but they're working on remastering s1 i believe#the way theu explore certain scifi-y elements is absolutely fascinating and i love it.but i wont elaborate#i think its better to go in blind. as i did š#derelict podcast
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sometimes I think about writing and singing music not because Iām an incredible singer but because no one has my fucking voice, especially in popular music, and its disheartening to be born a girl, told youāll only get girl roles or try to voice match other girls, or āsing with the girlsā and then only be able to match male voices because youāre a fuckin tenor and not anything higher. I canāt think of any girl Broadway roles I can hit all the notes on. Most songs I love I have to pitch down for myself or use falsetto for singing along to. It bothers me a lot less now because Iām an adult whoās more secure in myself but as a teen in kids musical theatre it FUCKED with me, BAD style. And I know for a fact that even now when I hear people with a voice like mine singing I get excited and immediately invested in their work because theyāre like ME, finally, for once. A brother in this world of being afab and having the voice of a recently pubescent boy forever. Maybe I should be that brother too.
#Using randomly gendered words because thatās me now but hey#Regardless of if you were born afab and are a girl 100% or if you were born afab and are someone else#It STILL sucks to always be grouped along with āgirlsā just because of your voice and realize#You CANT hit that. You canāt hit the mark for āgirlā. Youāll never achieve that without like. Hrt#Just say THE VOCAL CLASS. Like. Sopranos sing with this. Tenors with this. Bass with this. Etc#Then it doesnāt hurt! But nooo instead theyāre looking or āsing with the other girlsā and you fucking canāt#And it gives you a crisis at age 14#Anyway all I know is when other people who were assigned female at birth and arenāt on something they changes ones voice#and just happen to have born with the same deep ass voice as me. It makes me proud to hear them use it#Because not enough people do. Itās like weāre all collectively embarrassed or something#I see so many sad posts from teenagers posting their dream roles and the reason they wonāt get it is āgirlā#and itās like. I remember being that kid. Never able to get a female lead because of my voice. Never able to get a male lead because of gir#Even though my voice and appearance could easily swing male. Nope! Youāre GIRL. So youāre doomed to background forever :)#I got 1 lead role and it was when I was at my most feminine and was also for a villain that was a fat hag#I LOOOOVED playing her im aunt sponge forever. BUT. Never getting one again after thatā¦ showed me. Something#More gender blind casting and more songs just written for tenors please#doing just ONE of those things would probably solve the issue#But both please because Iām greedy and I want what I couldnāt have for every kid today#(And also me in the future in adult community theatre. Havenāt had time/too intimidated so far but I WILL go back)#And before anyone questions the language on this post. I STRUGGLED with how to word it#TERFs begone. I love trans people. I am nonbinary and some form of intersex (pcos).#I just word it this way because of like. Where we all start#Whether we stay GIRL girls or realize weāre somewhere in between. It crushes us either way to have the āwrongā voice to do anything#Because it did me at first. And Iām otherwise GLAD to be confusing#Iāve come to love my deep voice it baffles others and they never know what to call me it really helps the whole āwhat am Iā presentation#But. In terms of certain things. Like being in theatre in the deep south#It certainly does not help and can be disheartening#Especially back when I was younger and more self conscious#lionās lair
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Head empty thoughts full of the antigone incest essay
#genuinely think it was the reason why i like it so much right now#like. ive always loved me some codependency in ships and like incest especially from messed up families is the epitome of that#and oooh boy does antigone have it in spade#spades#fuck sorry its 1:30 am#anw the whole#'the true tragedy's core is about love#antigone is ismene's heromene and this is why she wants to save her#yet antigone's heramenos is polynices who is long dead#and to meet again w her heramenos she is willing to die#for due to how deeply incestuous the thebian family is#its impossible for antigone (and ismene too!) to find an heramenos who doesnt fully share her blood#(and thus haemon (whose name literally means man of blood) who is her cousin from the non incestuous part of her family#cannot be ever her heramenos)#they also went on a tangent about cannibalism as a metaphor for incest because#the closest a person can be is either within the womb (both as siblings or parent/child)#or in someone elses stomach#and chronos eating his own kids is an extension of that thought#(and also as a way to say 'every generation will get swallowed by time kids will turn into adults and their children too etc#and its interesting how this again correlates with antigone. she outright refuses it because her own family structure is distorted#mother had children with her son. their kids are both siblings and uncles/aunts to each other#a mistake that will never *repeat*#and therefore antigone is left all alone. yes. oedipus is still alive. exiled and blind but alive#but jocasta is dead and he sure as hell wont have children with jocasta again#therefore making it unable for him to unnaturally#concieve another son who will fill the void that polynices (and eteocles!) have left in antigone's heart#goood sophocles. if there is an afterlife i want to make out with you sloppy style
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guys look how cute my switch is !!!!!!
#putting that skin on was so nerve wrackingš the edges are kinda shit but you canāt tell much through the case so itās ok#i love the icy blue colour š¤© and all the stickers ahhhhh i love decorating stuff LOL#iām currently playing a short hike and itās literally so cute it makes me so happy#esp the music omg itās wonderful#does anyone have any other good reccs?#i like games like ori and the blind forest genshin a short hike etc#iām a fan of open world and platformers mostly hehe
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I love just abandoning Elden Ring playthroughs I'm just like "okay that's enough" and start a new game...I've been playing Elden Ring almost nonstop (with a little mass effect break) since I got it in November and it's now June. And I'm still like...hm I think I'm done with this strength/int endeavor I want to try blasphemous paladin again
#I just love roleplaying a sad paladin learning their oath is kind of shit#and trying but failing to abandon it and instead striking a balance where they redefine their oath for themselves#which isn't. *really* a paladin. In the DnD sense. There's Consequences to breaking an oath there isn't it? which is very fun actually#but this isn't DnD#me vs elden ring#I'm always captivated by the concept of what it means to have faith in the world of dark souls#where objectively factually the things you have faith in are failing/have failed and fallen#and the figures central to your religion turn out to be flawed and human#and yet at the same time miracles are tangible things and your faith allows you to heal and defend yourself and spread blessings#what is 'faith' in this scenario exactly? Faith in what?#I can never make a dumb faith build who just walks forward with entirely blind belief I always have to angst it a bit#in dark souls I always lean back towards it being faith *in* the miracles. The tales of the gods you recite to receive their blessing#or copy their abilities with lightning spear etc.#Elden Ring is especially funny of course because faith allows you all kinds of incantations. And I think the fact that you have all kinds o#incantations. MOST of which are kind of blasphemous and have nothing to do with the Erdtree itself#and yet you can cast them just the same as any other incantation#is an interesting concept to me. For a character to struggle with.#Alongside the whole 'Marika was the one who shattered the Elden Ring' thing.#I also like making devoted faith knights who swear oaths and are secretly really repressed gay boys.#what if I wielded a blasphemous blade of unholy flame and you wielded a sliver of a cold dark moon and we were both boys
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constructing elaborate au in my head between eli and my wtd mc (eli turns and my mc willingly lets eli eat him with famous last words an ode to eaters ethel cain playing in the bg)
#and eli is just in that perfect state of in between to know and be disgusted by what hes doing but being blinded by instinct anyway#if im turning in your stomach and im making you feel sick. etc etc#freaks! i love them
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#im so sorry#i had to#meme#post is absolutely right though#loving villains is not a crime#its knowing that anyone at any time can become the villain in their own narrative#the right conditions just have to be met#no one is perfect#no one is pure#no one is purely one or the other#we are ying and yang#and denying that is what makes people more susceptible to becoming the villain#because when you are blinded by your righteousness you fail to see yourself falling down the stairway to heaven#thinking you are pure and could never āinsert etc etcā is stupid#memes
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words cannot express how much i love the cosmic horror trope of "character gets too close to The Horrors but instead of going insane or being blinded or otherwise physically scarred or cognitively impaired they just lose their emotional capacity completely, becoming an anhedonic shell, which doesn't seem like it should be such a terrible fate compared to what what else they could have lost until you remember that your feelings also govern your basic self-preservation and survival instincts, ability to make choices, consent, etc."
#š#which could mean anything.#this is abt mithrun dunmeshi but also georgie and oliver tma. they were crazy for that end avatar anhedonic swag. freaking it nothing style
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