#lottie's thoughts

[wonnieluvr]

okay i have to say i hate emily. shes a bitch and i hate what she did to jamie and gray but i cant deny her character is so fascinating. shes literally like if greed was a person?

dont get me wrong as much as i hate her i understand the whole risk taking thing and wanting those experiences she never got to have BUT saying that she didnt need two boyfriends??? she literally could have experienced all the same things she did with one. thats why shes greed. she just took and took everything. from both of them and rebecca too.

but i just dont understand why she had such an effect on everyone? like avery describes her as pretty but she also said she was nowhere near as beautiful as rebecca. is it because she was sick and everyone felt bad? but like even then i cant imagine emily being a pleasant person to be around so i dont get how she made friends with anyone let alone dated two people 😭 but that could also be because we never met her? like we don't really know anything about her which is also really interesting to me. we know of her but that's only everyone's versions of her.

on a different note i keep thinking about the way jamie and gray had different feelings for her. like i just think that while jamie did love her but he didnt love her, you know? gray did. i assume thats why jamie wasnt as affected by eve, he didnt love emily the same way gray did.

jamie feels that way for avery so while eves appearance surely shocked him it still didnt take over and bring up old feelings (for a completely new person lmao)

(i also do know that he knew about eve before but theres still something different between hearing things and seeing them)

jamie and avery are perfect for each other but thats a different thought too. i'm so glad they never really fought because of eve (thank god, i would have cried)

but back on topic, i doubt emily loved them back. like, i feel like its the sort of situation where she just wanted to feel wanted. she probably mistook that for love and assumed she wanted both of them? but its all she ever had growing up too? familiarity? like its suggested that her parents were completely focused on her their whole lives and loved her (she was their miracle baby sort of though so i do kinda get that) but also like i wholeheartedly believe everything starts with the parents.

they were such a big influence in her life, they gave her everything, sacrificed everyone and everything for her and kept her happy. this comes back to the greed thing too. they gave her this idea that everything would bend to her will and she would always get what she wanted. (if you can't tell i have strong feelings about the influence parents have and how they raise their children cus it literally dictates someones whole life until they have clarity smh)

i think the whole jumping off the cliff thing too was like her acting out. she reminds me of gray in that way, she was losing control and she needed to do something she wanted to regain it. she knew she couldnt handle it but she couldnt handle not getting what she wanted more. idk if that makes sense but shes like trying to prove to herself and everyone else that she was fine with jamie breaking things off, that she could handle not being wanted and adored regardless of her actions and she was losing control of everything ig? idk i just think its really interesting the way she took things to an extreme because i imagine she was probably trying to do something else, something worse than what she feeling to get it to go away? emotions are so interesting in that way.

like rebecca (in her mind) was turning against her, jamie was leaving her and her parents would have stopped her from going with gray if they had known and at the time that was (hinted at) being what she really wanted to do and they were all telling her no. she took the only thing she had left to control (gray) and was trying to prove she was fine.

i cant put into words how many layers all of these characters have like jlb wrote such a wonderful series and i cant stop thinking about all the characters. i have so many thoughts running through my head and i could write a take on everyone ☹️

[sentientsnakeskin]

Everyone always gets on yellowjackets for being fucking weird with the number of  background characters and changing actresses and lacking depth for a lot of said background character and everything all the time but thats the point!!! That’s the point of it!!! All the surviving Yellowjackets are unreliable narrators!!! Most if not all of the surviving Yellowjackets have mental conditions and if they don’t they sure as hell have endless trauma. The flashbacks are being told by them, 25 years later, when they have spent all that time trying to hide and deny everything that happened and everything that occurred and all of it is messed up. They don’t want to remember it all, they don’t want to remember their dead teammates. Sometimes it’s impossible to tell which characters are flashing back to which segments. Sometimes characters are inexplicably absent. Sometimes some people remember more than others. Sometimes random characters appear who have been absent all this time. Like, Crystal appeared as a character out of the blue when Misty was feeling abandoned by Nat and was remembering her first best friend. Characters are recast because who can even remember what those girls looked like anymore. The consistent characters are the ones no one can forget. The first ones. Who is gonna forget Laura Lee? Jackie? Javi? No one. But who is gonna remember girl #3 that you killed and ate when you went insane in the wilderness? No one. Or maybe you don’t want to remember. Maybe by girl #3 you try and forget everything. You stifle all feelings and memories until you remember maybe she had brown hair, oh i think i remember her gathering herbs once, oh i think she had this hat she liked to wear, oh maybe she was around during this event or maybe she was already dead and gone and buried and eaten. Maybe maybe maybe. You don’t know. You never know. Because thats what trauma does it eats away at the brain until all you have left to tell your story is faulty memories and a heart full of grief. And i think it just got worse once Shauna burned her journals and left everything into pure memory. Even those were unreliable because Shauna was suffering from day one and it only got worse after Jackie. Nothing is gonna be consistent about a story told 25 years after the events by people so traumatized they can barely remember it themselves.

[nataliescatorccioapologist]

Using these to spread my propaganda that Nat is in fact a little spoon

[dickgraysonsbitch]

ok WHERE did the assumption come from that jason todd is this big suave player… ppl say jason todd talks you through it?? no bbg jason todd needs to be talked through it. that man is the nerdiest lil dude and thats canon. (unless it’s ak!jason, but i like to forget that ever happened)

my man is so traumatized and he died at like… fifteen? sixteen in some continuities? he was not getting anything and that’s completely normal.

yah btw everyone who thinks that jason is a player n super manly man is actually a roy harper stan. not lying btw i was one of them

[souvlakic]

[moonagedaydreamsofrhiannon]

Perhaps the wilderness in Yellowjackets is not just a symbol of death. Perhaps it is also—in its own way—freedom.

In the wilderness, Lottie didn’t have to hide her visions for fear of being called crazy. She was exalted as a leader and a prophet. But when she returned, they called her crazy and locked her up.

In the wilderness, Misty didn’t have to be ashamed of her intensity and eccentricity. She was helpful, she was needed, she was important. But when she returned, they called her a freak and exiled her once again.

In the wilderness, Tai didn’t have to pretend to be something she’s not. Her other self was not a weakness but a strength, it gave her power, and kept her alive. But when she returned she had to suppress her urges and hide her other self, or lose everything.

In the wilderness, Shauna didn’t have to be small, and hide the fire inside her. She was angry, and violent, and powerful. But when she returned, she was forced back into a supporting role, forced to contain her darkness and her drive in order to fit a role she never wanted to play.

In the wilderness, Travis didn’t have to put on an act to fit the societal expectations of masculinity. He was feminine, and emotional, and soft—not the man of the group, but just another Yellowjacket in the hive. But when he returned, he was forced back into the cage—back into the closet—isolated, hardened, closed off and separated from the girls once more.

In the wilderness, Natalie didn’t have to feel guilty for surviving. She was the hunter, the provider, and the gun in her hands made her a savior, and a leader, not a killer. But when she returned, she was a killer once again, haunted by guilt, and outcast by society for the things she did to stay alive.

The wilderness gave them the freedom to be their truest and most authentic selves, but the cost was the blood spilled. The cost was their old selves. The cost was a place in the world upon their return.

Maybe the wilderness did not destroy them; it simply changed them into something new, something irrevocably different, something that would never—could never—fit back inside the narrow box of their old lives, and because they could no longer fit, society called them broken.

The wilderness freed them, but it never let them go. Because once you’ve tasted flesh and blood, once you’ve stared death in the face and overcame, once you’ve been to the very brink and seen the true depth of your own capacity for violence, once all the former markers of morality and success have become meaningless, in a world where survival at all costs is the only law, how can you ever go back to a world ruled by pointless, hollow, conventions? Once you’ve shed every remnant of your humanity, once you’ve run with the wolves, and howled at the moon, and become one with the ancient wild gods, how can you ever be a human again? Once you’ve had a taste of complete freedom, how can you ever be satisfied with a fake, insignificant, half-life, made up entirely of half-truths and haunting?

[heartz4shauna]

i don’t know if anyone else has said this so i will

what if the reason why lottie started speaking french was because they crashed in a french-canadian place?? what if the wilderness was french

[shaunamilfman]

yellowjackets + affection headcanons

pairing: Shauna Shipman x r, Jackie Taylor x r, Lottie Matthews x r, Natalie Scatorccio x r note: seperatelyyyyy.

Shauna Shipman

very subtle demonstrations of affection. she’s definitely not a fan of over-the-top displays of PDA, preferring to express her feelings through her actions. show, don’t tell type.

does a lot of small things like making your favorite meal, leaving you little notes, and letting you pick what to watch even if it’s not your turn.

a lot of what she does isn’t especially romantic in nature, though it’s not to say that she doesn’t have her moment, but it’s always demonstrative that you’re special to her in some way or another.

very clingy, but not necessarily in public. she really likes to sit flush against you on the couch, the entirety of her side pressed against yours as she rests her head against yours. 

she’s a big fan of just laying together, even if you’re not necessarily intending on going to sleep. running her fingers across your skin absentmindedly as you lay together on the couch.

gives you compliments almost as if they’re an afterthought, but they’re always so sincere that you know she’s put actual thought into them even if she pretends otherwise.

drunk Shauna or jealous Shauna is all over you, though. she sees someone breathe in your direction and nearly jumps the couch to get over to you.

she’s so protective of you, even over the smallest things. imagined injustices are too much for her. tell her Nat was mean to you in a dream, and her ass is glaring at her the next time she sees her.

she’s always watching you in one way or another. sometimes it’s because she's being possessive, but she mostly just likes to know that you’re okay. any time you’re separated at the same event, you can relax knowing Shauna knows exactly where you are at any moment.

Shauna Shipman will not forget a date. she knows every milestone of your relationship and could list off the day they happened. she’s kind of cheating because her ass is going straight home and writing in her journal about it the day it happens, so she can always check back to the date.

Jackie Taylor

likes to make your life easier any way she can. unfortunately, Jackie’s ideas of what would make your life easier aren’t always exactly true. but she’s trying, and that’s the important part, right? sure, you spent twenty minutes trying to figure out how she reorganized your kitchen, but she did it with love.

queen of PDA. she’s all over you all the time. her ass will climb you like a tree in public. absolutely does not understand that there’s a time and a place for all that, but who would want her to?

always, always, always holding your hand. tries to pull your hand off the wheel at every single stoplight because it’s been sooooo long. kisses your cheek any time you’ve done anything that made her even the slightest bit happy, or also just because. she’s not picky.

no one on Earth will talk you up more than Jackie Taylor. she’s showering you with compliments, both to your face and to anyone who will listen to her talk about you. they’re all so genuine too.

plans the most complex dates you’ve ever seen. truthfully, they’re mostly for her own benefit, but you always have a good time anyway. she will expect to hear how impressed you were with whatever she planned out at length. she needs the reassurance.

so physically affectionate. hand-holding where she just plays with your fingers while watching TV. anytime you’re lying down, trust that Jackie will be climbing on top of you and staying there. falls asleep on top of you, and you’re stuck there till she wakes up.

listens very intently whenever you talk, but eventually her eyes always end up falling to your lips. she’s just a girl.

she’s so playfully mean to you. always gently poking fun at something you’re doing as she skips up next to you and presses the entirety of her body against your back.

so incredibly possessive. god forbid you even look in someone else's direction or it’s on. as much as she craves your attention on her all the time, it truly is just the way she cares for you.

quality time!!! your ass isn’t going anywhere.

Lottie Matthews

Lottie’s trying to get you lore dropping on the first date for sure. she’s very emotionally aware and enjoys the intimacy of sharing secrets and feelings between the two of you.

loves to take care of you. she hates when you’re sick but also loves to smother you in love and care whenever you are. definitely confesses it to you guiltily one day like it’s a grievous sin.

stocks her cabinets with things that you like. walking around the store with a little list of everything she’s ever seen you eat before you stay over for the first time.

forces the nastiest herbal teas on you for your "health.”.

gives you so many gifts. most of them are just small little trinkets that remind her of you, but they’re always so thoughtful in nature. remembers anything you’ve ever mentioned being interested in or looked at when out at shops.

the type to drop in while you’re studying all day with a snack because she knows you forgot to eat. pulling you out of your chair to get up and dance with her because you haven’t moved from your desk in four hours. pulling your headphones off your ears and dragging you to bed because you have to get up in six hours.

she’s so physical touch. Lottie’s always touching you in some way or another. just small touches mostly: brushes of her fingers across her arm as you walk past her, fingers intertwined as you walk around whatever market she’s dragged you to today, her thumb against your face as she rubs off the tiniest speck of dirt, brushing hair out of your face as you talk animatedly.

good luck getting Lottie’s head off of your shoulder. doesn’t matter if you’re standing or laying down. she’s zeroing in on it immediately.

Natalie Scatorrcio

not traditionally affectionate in the slightest. she’s very awkward with it at the best of times. epitome of like, “I dunno, you’re cool, or whatever,” while kicking the toe of her shoe against the dirt and avoiding eye contact. does not have any experience with giving or receiving affection at all.

she blushes to her ears at even the slightest hint of love or care once you get closer. girl does not know what to do with herself; she's so stressed.

it takes forever for Nat to tell you anything personal about her life. so when she finally does start talking that vulnerability is a major sign of her affection for you.

quality time where you sit together and do separate things. sitting on opposite sides of the couch while Nat keeps sneaking looks at you whenever she thinks you’re not paying attention.

she’s not great at comforting you while you’re upset, but she’ll always listen for as long as you want to talk about it.

so incredibly loyal and protective. she’s not even letting rightful criticism of you go. at least when other people say it. argues with someone for twenty minutes about something you did, but the second you’re alone she’s like, “that was so lame.”

she’s really physically affectionate in public, but not in the traditional sense. bumps your shoulders together a lot while giving you that crooked grin of hers, taps her foot against yours under the table, that sort of thing. in private, I think she would like more full-body contact stuff like cuddling than handholding or stuff of that nature.

Nat’s the type to drop you off at the front of the store when it’s raining while she parks the car. always walks on the curbside of the sidewalk so that car “hits her instead." always tries to open the door for you even when it’s inconvenient (think rushing around the car).

definitely the type to present you with pretty rocks she found and grins stupidly whenever she sees it sitting on a shelf at your place.

likes to try to fix things around your house.

[alicentflorent]

I think teenage Lottie was lucid enough to understand that the power of the wilderness stuff had gone too far and that she hated being used as the girls scapegoat and forced into a leadership position she never wanted so she passed leadership over to Nat, who was always the most logical and who always fought against the supernatural elements and actually kept them alive with her hunting abilities. Lottie figured Natalie would be their best chance at survival and that she wouldn’t let them take the supernatural beliefs too far so Lottie just used the whole “wilderness saved Nat because she was meant to lead” as a way to get the group to follow and believe in Nat in hopes that her leadership would put a stop to the hunting and cannibalism and take the burden off Lottie

[kirarahoshii]

sometimes a comfort show isn’t a sitcom or a romance or even remotely lighthearted. sometimes a comfort show is a survival/horror series about girls doing cannibalism and cult activities in the wilderness to survive

[nataliesscatorccio]

i'm not freaking out about lottie and laura lee having matching yellowjacket face paint on opposite cheeks for the pep rally, you're freaking out about lottie and laura lee having matching yellowjacket face paint on opposite cheeks for the pep rally

[forgotmysword]

the Big 4 actually

[lottieurl]

frank bidart

[dearlot]

lottie taking care of sick!reader 💭

im very ill and i need this.....

actually so thoughtful and caring i could cry just thinking about it..... she's pampering you until you feel better and is always right by your side. she doesn't care if she gets sick from taking care of you, she's not gonna let her baby suffer!!!

always has the things you need.. you run out of tissues? she's pulling a new box out from somewhere in her dresser. you need medicine? she already has pepto and some tea for you.

gets annoyed when you constantly sniff tho :/ blow your damn nose!!! she’ll shove a tissue box in your face and force you to get it all out and if you’re having trouble, she’ll legit buy a nasal rinse for you😭

rushing up in the middle of the night because you need to throw up and she's already awake and going with you, holding your hair back if you need it or just shushing you while rubbing your back :(( she wipes your spit and vomit with your shirt and flushes the toilet, closing it so she can place you on it, and whispers that she'll be right back. she returns with new clothes and starts a nice warm bath for you.

is the best tummy rubber in the entire universe.... she can make your cramps and aches go away for just a little while as she runs her nails along your stomach :( sometimes laying on your stomach helps and she'd get right up on you if you ask for extra weight.

if we're talking about wilderness!lottie and sick!reader, you already know she's doing all those weird rituals to cure you. you have to drink the blood tea she makes every morning and every night, and she's making blood sacrifices to ask the wilderness to heal you. the other girls don't really care that you're sick, you're still doing chores! lottie won't allow it though, she'll take you back to her hut and kiss you before going to do it herself :( you go along sometimes so you don't create suspicion, but you're just moping and groaning and wiping your stuffy nose while she empties out the piss bucket.

adult!lottie taking care of you 😫 you reassure her you don't want her to take any time off 'work' to take care of you but you regret telling her that like an hour into being home alone, sick and bored. she constantly checks up on you though :( she always brings something too. either a light snack (whatever you can stomach) or some tea she made. she'll sit by the edge of the bed and get sad at how bad your voice sounds or how you seem to be getting sicker. you just very hoarsely whisper that you want her to be beside you and she stays :) she texts lisa to run the center until she's ready to come back and snuggles up with you in bed, running her hands up and down your arms, removing the blanket when you get hotflashes, bringing you a trashcan when you make a horrible gagging sound, and changes you when you get vomit all over yourself :((

lazy days in with her since you're sick anyway.... she gets a little annoyed when she finds you up at like 9am playing video games instead of resting, but all you have to do is pout and say you couldn't sleep because of the pain and she's forgiving you.

[kessellluvr]

˗ˏˋ my girlfriend´s girlfriend ´ˎ˗

pairing: lottienat x reader

summary: lottie wants to try something new and decides to ask nat if she wants to join in fucking you ; of course nat agrees!!

note: this is just straight up smut.. oopsies

"Dont be shy, honey." lottie´s warm breath flew over your ear, her fingers deftly undoing the clasp of your bra to reveal your pear shaped breasts, nipples hard due to the cold air in the room. Nat sat against the headboard, only in her sports bra and her boxers, a smirk on her face as she watched lottie undress you. "She´s a real pretty one, gotta say, lottie." your cheeks flushed a deep crimson at her raspy voice, lottie softly pushed you back on the bed, forcing your legs open. "You hear that, baby? Your such a pretty slut." lottie murmed, lips finding the soft flesh of your inner thigh. You could feel nat´s calloused hands coming to lift your upper half up against her - making you sit between her legs, a soft gasp came from your lips as her cold fingers brushed over your hard, big nipples - teasing them to even harder peaks. Your head fell back against nat´s chest as you sighed, feeling lottie tease your slit - collecting your wetness before rubbing it around your clit in an awfully slow circle. That needy whine which left your lips was all charlotte needed to hear, carefully pushing two long fingers up your wet cunt.

Nat’s hands interwined with yours, you squeezed them hard as lottie’s fingers curled up to hit that perfect spot. “Mm- more!” you whined, feeling nat place hot, opened mouthed kisses to your neck before sucking a few hickeys. “Look at you, pretty girl.. taking it so well.” nat hummed, lips trailing over your pulse point before biting down and making you yelp out a moan. You could already feel the knot in your stomach tightening as lottie’s fingers scissored inside you, making your thighs twitch and so it wasnt much longer until your first orgasm crashed over you, a long moan coming from deep down your throat as nat pulled your head back against her by your chin, tilting it up and smashing her lips against yours - swallowing your moans. You didnt really notice her hand leaving yours as she went to squeeze your breast, tugging your sensitive nipple once more - you felt another wave of pleasure ripple through you, her tounge pushing into your mouth and twirling with yours.

Lottie’s hand patted your thigh, “Good girl, mm but you can take more cant you?” you nodded as an answer, feeling lottie shift off of the bed and you could her hear rummaging through a drawer. You know exactly what she was going to grab - nat shifted behind you and you looked over your shoulder to see her attaching the strap to her hips, tilting the toy so it was aligned with her clit, that dark patch of pubes still visible, you turned your head to look back at lottie, who was also putting her strap around her hips. You felt your pulse quickening, cheeks flushing deeply. “Hands and knees, baby.” Nat growled into your eat from behind and you did as you were told - getting into position and looking up at nat, she was on her knees, her fake cock hanging tantalising infront of your face as she reached for your chin, thumb trailing along your bottom lip before pushing in. Your tounge twirled around her thumb, you felt the bed dipping behind you as lottie got in position, her hand coming to squeeze your asscheeks - she loved how they fit perfectly into her hands, how the flesh melted between her fingers.

Suddenly, nat pulled her thumb out and reached out to grab your hair “Suck it, sugar.” she hissed, pulling your head down, lips pressing against the tip of the strap before you willingly opened them and let her sink into your mouth, nat made sure to be careful, letting you lead for now. “Aw dont be that soft on her, she knows how to suck.” Lottie’s rough, horny voice echoed from behind you as she slammed her hips against yours, filling your cunt to the brink - the motion caused you to cry out, your body shifting fowards and causing nat’s cock to go all the way in, forcing you to deepthroat her. Your eyes rolled back as you heard nat’s grunt, the base of the dildo rubbing against her fat clit before she started thrusting in and out of your mouth. You didnt have to gag, lottie had trained you. But you did anyway, knowing it would turn nat on even more, lottie’s thrusts behind you also sped up - her nails now digging into your hip while her other came down to smack your ass, making the flesh wobble. You tried your best to focus on pleasing nat, while also feeling your second orgasm build. You moaned around nat’s cock, your cunt clenching around lottie’s, which painfully but deliciously kissed your cervix. It wasnt long before you felt your body shaking, nat letting out a loud groan as she came from the friction on her clit - she pulled out of you, leaving you a mess - spit running from your mouth, down your chin and onto the sweat-drenched sheets. Finally you felt yourself overcome by your orgasm, squirting around Lottie’s cock as she sped her thrusts - fucking you through your second orgasm until you were a whimpering mess.

Lottie finally pulled out, giving your ass another smack and falling back onto the bed, you collapsed down onto the sheets - trying to catch your breath. “Rest for now, pretty little thing. But we’re far from done for tonight.” Nat whispered as she cupped your cheeks and pressed a soft kiss to your lips.

[girliefag]

[ID: a compilation of images of Lottie Matthews from the show Yellowjackets, with a tweet in the middle from @/jenjoliesoscar saying "you're deranged if you think I'm holding a woman with big sad brown eyes accountable for anything" /end ID]