#lottie matthews x yn

[returnofeternity]

may i rq smth lottie w a shorter gf !! the new episode made me remember how tall courney is ( 5'10 vs my 5'1 ass lol ) she's so baby and she loves holding her shorter gf like a teddy bear augghhhh i need her

wilderness and domestic hcs included

· · 𐂂 · ·

she for sure calls you shorty >.> coming up behind you while you're picking flowers, greeting you with "what's up, shorty?" and smiling at how you groan.

loves how you're the perfect height for forehead kisses!!! which she takes advantage of constantly. you have to ask her to bend down so you can kiss her forehead and she gets to kiss yours whenever she wants :P when you're hugging her side, her lips are basically planted on your forehead 24/7 she just cant get enough.

you're taller or as tall as her when you both sit down because of her horrible posture, but you're reminded how tall she is when she gets up and stands over you and you feel short again :/

back hugger.... so the type to hold you from behind while waiting in grocery store lines and shit...swaying you back and forth, her big strong arms wrapped around you and making you feel all warm inside. sigh...

she notices you struggling with trying to reach something and fucking LOVES to tease you. grumbling when you hear her chuckle from behind you in the kitchen, crossing your arms and sighing. she just cocks her head and says, "need something?" before helping you. sometimes she's a huge tease and rubs up against you while reaching, placing down whatever you wanted on the counter before kissing your neck. and!! she'll lift you up sometimes, asking you how it felt to be so tall for a second 🙄

head pats!! just thinking of her coming back to you after one of her wilderness walks, patting you on the head and asking what you did while she was gone. head pats during cuddles, her hand literally almost covering your entire head while she strokes it.

lottie who's the big spoon and who wraps her long ass legs around your body when you cuddle... she's holding you so tightly. or, lottie who's the little spoon and since there's so much of her body that you can't cover, you like to sleep on top of her with her legs wrapped around you. i know cuddles with her are the best dude. being held by her, your face in her neck, hearing her calming breaths while you try to sleep.... :(

she holds you like a teddy bear when you wanna hug her because you can't put your arms around her neck... she's all smiley and blushy when you wrap your legs around her waist, being the one to look up at you for once. i think she rly loves these types of hugs because you feel so much closer. also, she thinks it's so cute when you have to step on your tippy toes to kiss her :)

speaking of, thinking of looking up at her as she looks down, being so entranced by her beauty as she leans down to kiss you. tugging her down by her shirt sometimes and you know she goes crazy for that shit.

lottie who holds things up above her head to make you jump for them :/

getting lost in a crowd one time and she can't find you because you're so short 😭 oh my god she'd be so scared but laugh so hard about it once you're safe in her arms again, telling you that she needs to get you some platform shoes so she can see you better.

being grumpy when she wears heels because she's just SO much more taller >.> but gawsh she's so pretty and perfect. she keeps you on her and next to her the whole night like you're her little doggy 🐶

making snow angels with her in the wilderness when it's not so cold out, lottie laughing for literal hours because of how comedically small and short yours is compared to hers 😑

[before-it-felt-like-a-sin]

hi! could you write a fic or headcanons about being in a love triangle in the wilderness (maybe shauna x reader x lottie, or any of the girls idk, you can decide!)

Love Triangle in the Wilderness Headcanons

Pairing: Shauna x Lottie x Reader

I fear this may not be EXACTLY what you wanted but this is what came to me

--------------------------------------------------------

It would def be Shauna and Lottie (or Nat and Lottie but I think Shautie fits better for this)

Imagining you're in a situationship type thing with Shauna post crash...

It's all fine until after Jackie dies, like Lottie has no interest in you for the first 3-4 months

But then Jackie dies and Shauna's always in the shed, so you start hanging out with Lottie more

Going to her prayer circles or whatever, getting up with her to bless Nat for the hunt

Shauna notices and gets super fucking jealous, like absolutely livid

She forgives you when you're ultimately pro "let Shauna spend hours talking to Jackie's body", but she still gets jealous when she sees you with Lottie

As winter goes on, though, Shauna starts to get even more jealous. Especially because Lottie keeps hanging around both of you now

Like you're talking to the baby and Lottie joins in, and Shauna gets pissed about it

Both you and Lottie are super confused because you're literally just trying to help her and the baby

Imagining you kind of take the place of Tai when Shauna has her outburst and goes into labor, and you're dragging her back to the cabin

Kind of involving yourself in the wilderness stuff while Shauna gives birth

After the baby dies Shauna's obviously not the same, but she's really cold and distant to you

You start getting even closer to Lottie, and that just makes it worse

Trying to pull Shauna off of Lottie during the fight, but Nat and Taissa hold you back so you don't get hurt too

You're torn between helping Lottie and helping Shauna afterward

Ultimately you go to Shauna because the others have Lottie

Bandaging Shauna's hands and telling her to leave them in the snow for a bit

But then checking on Lottie every day, her telling you what she told Misty (to eat her if she dies) and telling her she's not gonna die

Yall still doing the hunt anyways, not sure how the logistics of that play out

You and Shauna make up and talk about the whole Lottie situation

Shauna also talks with Lottie and the three of you are now in a complicated romantic entanglement (bc it's not a relationship)

You and Shauna start taking care of Lottie while she continues to heal

[usedtobeineoftherottenones]

Hi! Could you write a Natalie Scatorccio x Reader Request I would like to write something about the reader Where the Natalie and the Reader They are friends But they both like each other More than just a friendship Event before the accident With the the first time Natalie realized she liked Reader, an accidental kiss, or the two of them sharing a Walkman and listening to Nirvana on the team bus . You can add a cute ending If it's not a bother, that would be awesome! Thank you!"Sorry if the request was too long..

Thankyou for this request it was so fun too write and it was not long at all don’t worry 💗 hope u liked it 🐝

Feels right

It was 6:30 am on a Friday Pep rally day had finally come the highlight of the week many would say for the notorious yellow jackets , the pressure was on this match was the most important by far deciding whether or not they proceed to national’s . Yns alarm clock rang twice then three times before she clumsily reached out for it the early morning autumn breeze touching her sun kissed skin she grunted slapping the alarm clock before stretching in her twin sized bed . Yn was aware of the big day ahead of her sighing slightly as she slipped out of her blue coloured covers her feet patting the cold floor beneath her slowly descending down her stairs towards the dimly lit kitchen .

Yn cursed under her breath she was about to miss the school bus shit shit what am I gonna do she dropped the piece of toast she was eating onto her plate quickly slipping on her doc martins and stumbling out of the door . Right as yn shut her door she saw the bright yellow school bus pass her condescendingly.

The bus stopped at every avenue so I could outrun it to the next I guess maybe not in these shoes though . Fuck it . Yn began jogging around the corner of the suburban houses packed neatly in rows before she began to pant a little the bus nearing a stop right where yn was stood or kinda crouched due to her stomach aching from running after eating her breakfast.

Yn stepped up onto the steep bus steps slinging her jansport backpack higher on her shoulder . Waiting in the queue of students ahead of her she could tell seat options were going to be limited already accepting the fact she might have to sit next to Randy or even worse Allie . Not that she minded the two but it wouldn’t be a great way to start the most important day this semester.

As yn slowly rose to the front of the queue she spotted only 4 seats open all with someone sat on the other side . Shit uh .. yn stood awkwardly not knowing who to sit by . Until she spotted a tired looking Nat sat all the way in the back . Oh thank god yn muttered as she began her awkwardly intimidating walk to the back of the school bus .

Do ya mind yn startled the blonde girl as she seemed to be a little out of it

Jeez you scared me uh yeah sure Nat began to scoot over a little while moving her bag down to her feet her black docs matching with your own unintentionally of course . Coincidentally you and Nat actually shared a lot in common you were both part of the soccer team you both liked nirvana you both were also weirdly good at beer pong oh and yeah you were both stereotyped at burnouts . You’re not actually sure why you were casted as a burn out I mean sure you got a little to wasted at party’s and you may have accidentally broke Lotties window at one of her many infamous party’s at the Matthews residence but that dosent make you a burn out you just like to have a little fun . You snapped back into reality as you realise what Nat was asking you her pale hand holding out the mesh earphone to her Walkman with a questioning look on her face any preferences she asks

You know me well enough and with that Nat begins to play you’re all time favourite song never mind by nirvana you actually liked nirvana before it became popular so Nat can’t judge and by the way she smiles when you bop you’re head to the music you can tell she secretly likes it too .

You’re not sure how you and Nat became friends in the first place I mean yeah soccer and same grade but it’s not like you’ve known eacother for ages like Shauna and Jackie you guys just clicked I guess . Soccer defiantly helped though when you’re team got through to regionals and had to take a mini bus trip out of state coach Ben had paired you up to room with each other leading to a long night of cigarettes , alcohol and ‘food poisoning’ the next day which coach Ben had to cover for almost all the girls except Laura Lee of course . That night began the weird and unique friendship you and Nat shared you never talked about boys or clothes or silly things like that it was deeper then that Nat told you things only you could be trusted with like her dad or her home which eventually lead to you sneaking Nat through you’re window at 11pm for a sleepover because her dad had drank to much that night or she had been caught with a boy . Even though Nat swears they were just hanging out . You don’t mind though before Nat school was quiet and unpleasant for you . You had Friends like Lottie and van but never any like Nat .

The school bus stops just as come as you are starts to disperse through the Walkman but Nat unplugs it groaning . Ugh if Jackie makes us do one more scrimmage I’m going to die

You chuckle nodding in agreement before you begin to exit the bus

What lesson do we have first Nat you question

Idk but I’m not going Nat replies walking to her other friends the real burn outs you would call them

Whatver but don’t be late for practice you promised you would do my face paint before the match

You’re such a looser Nat calls out in a sarcastic tone

You laugh to yourself slowly walking the halls to your first class French shit . Just as you entered the class you remembered about the homework you blew off to hangout with Nat at the arcade .

Hey a chirpy voice catches you’re attention

Oh hi you reply

You haven’t got the homework have you you ask Lottie

Yeah luckily for you I do what this time you were to busy with Nat lottie said in a teasing voice

What you ask you’re checks flushing red

Haha you’re blushing I knew it

No what uh I was helping Shauna with her history homework

Hmm that’s funny considering I’m the one who got and A in history not a C like you

You hit Lottie with the sheet of homework she lent you yelling at her

I’m kidding I’m kidding but seriously when are you going to ask out Nat you should probably hurry up before Travis does

What me ask out Nat why the hell would I do that I don’t even like uh like girls ..

Yeah sure lottie replied before sitting at her desk smirking at you

You’re pretty sure you’re bright red right now why would Lottie even think that I mean if Travis wants to ask out Nat he should go for it why would I ever stop him ? You get your homework results back towards the end of the lesson glancing at Lottie as you got 3/15 right great thanks a lot Lottie .

The lunch bell rang and you immediately headed towards the locker rooms still embarrassed by your friends words earlier passing her in the changing rooms avoiding eye contact . The door swings open and a wide eyed Nat enters looking for you . Hey you’re actually on time you say very funny yn buy a promise is a promise just let me get changed really quick you turn around continuing on in getting ready but you catch yourself looking at Nats reflection in Jackie’s compact mirror she was holding reapplying makeup you assume . A blush covers you’re face as you slip you’re shirt over you’re head looking at the floor to not cause any suspicion .

I glance over at yn to check if she’s ready and I grab the yellow and blue paints out of vans hand thanking her . Ready ? Yn nodded doing so I apply the light colours to her checks noticing how they were a red ish colour maybe she was hot ? I’m not sure I continue to apply the face paint leaning in to assure I don’t smudge it in any foreign areas . My hand leans against the locker door our faces close awkwardly close I never realised how many freckles yn even had or how her eyes went a light shade of brown around this time I also didn’t notice how our lips were so close at this angle . I pull away nervously unaware of how it was only us two left in the locker room . Come on girls time to head out I hear coach Ben yell from his office . Uhm do you like it ? Yeah uh thanks Nat I love it

No worried now come on Jackie’s gonna kick our asses

You follow the shorter blond as she paces out of the locker room towards the pitch . Practise went well a few hiccups that took a few more try’s but you’re defending and Nats atacking dominated the Jv team throughout the scrimmage .

Party at mine Lottie cheered while the girls got unchanged and messed around . You coming you asked Nat uh yeah I’ll be there will you ?

Of course I’ll see you there

It was now 8:00 pm and you had just finished getting ready wearing a black dress with detailed tights paired with your converse not the most functional but you looked good . You got a lift with Shauna and Jackie to the party in Jeff’s fancy car he went on and on about how we couldn’t make a mess in it as Shauna pretended to throw up behinde his back making me laugh while he was talking . We reached Lotties house her garden flooded with music and high schoolers hole playing in the background as beer pong was being played . Entering the crowded scene your eyes immediately met Nats of course they did .

I arrived a little before yn helping Lottie arrange the house and bring out drinks and plastic cups . The door opened and there stood yn she looked different her hair was darker and her eyeliner neater than usual and her dress just reached her thighs making me swallow . She ran up to me excitedly asking to get her a drink , I waked over to the kitchen pouring her a strong shot of vodka mixed with a little lime like what I had just drank handing it to her she downs it and hands the shot glass back to me . Let’s dance she says grabbing my arm leading me away to the garden full with people we know . The music is laughably un danceable making me and yn look like idiots but everyone’s drunk at-least a little and I could never say no to that smile yn has on her face as she’s dancing while I’m stood watching her .

As the party progresses and people begin to leave yn and I are sat on the couch siping from red cups . I had a great time tonight yn giggles out me too looser but I think we’ve definitely established that you can’t hold you’re liquor for shit . I can too yn slaps me gently on the shoulder . For a second it goes quiet the tension in the air rises as yn looks at me differently . I try too look away but yns wrist touches my neck and before I realise her lips connect with mine the warmth shocks me as I try to pull away unsure . It’s okay I want too she whispers . I relax into the kiss my shoulders going down . Why are we doing this I ask through the loud music because Nat it just feels right and with that I kiss yn back harder nothing has ever felt so right as this . The taste of alcohol from both their lips colliding reminds Nat of where they are pulling back gently . Yn I know we have a lot to talk about but not here let me walk you home . Nat lifts her jacket over yns shoulders as the cold night air hits them walking steadily forward .

I’m sorry yn apologised if that’s not what you wanted

No it is I swear I want this yn I want us and you

Then let’s do that Nat let’s finally do that

[holylottie]

aching bones, aching teeth [06]

masterlist [socials and TW's]

PAIRING — Lottie Matthews x fem!reader

CHAPTER SINOPSIS — Lottie always gets more than she can have.

NOTE — english is not my first language, I apologize for any mistakes you might find. Please read the tw's first! Thank you for reading :)

1996

You stood still at the lake. Shauna tried to take you back to the cabin but to no avail, you couldn't bring yourself to move, to think.

You cursed god, got mad at the divine and, consequently, got mad at Lottie. How could she allow such a thing, how could she not know?

Your clothes were wet as you kept yourself sitting on the holy lake — as holy as a sin could be —  crying, sobbing loudly. You couldn't scream, your sobs weren't filled with sounds, but they were filled with a new-found hurt: you just entered a new life, a life without Laura, without her sweet words and thoughtful prayers. You didn't hear Natalie arriving, but you felt her steady hands on your shoulders, she pulled you up, holding you with a tight grip while silent.

You didn't bother to speak. 

She helped you change your soaked clothes and she made you lay down on the floor, next to an almost sleep Lottie. You two stared at each other, sharing a pain no one else in the cabin could understand. 

Lottie reaches out for your hand — you give it to her —, holding your lamb plushie on the other. 

Sleep comes slowly, a calm slumber.

But when you wake up, you are terrified. 

However, you embrace the tears and make a friendship with the fear, you did not mind the nightmare. There, Laura was alive. 

— All okay, Tiq? — Shauna stared at you, from across the room, giving you a gentle tiny smile.

You knew she only meant to be nice, but to someone even consider the possibility of you answering yes, it was devastating, horrifying. Nothing would ever be okay.

You nod, anyway, getting up and putting your mattress on top of Charlotte.

It’s way later than when you normally wake up, but you suppose the girls gave you all a break since the last events. Your stomach is aching for food, and you have to hold onto the walls to not fall when you start to walk.

Shauna and you went outside, and she looked at the leaves you had bring to the girls, their taste was horrible, and there weren’t many of them, but it was better than sleeping on an empty stomach. 

— I don’t think I would ever say that, but I do miss cutting meat. 

You giggle at Shauna’s remark, your eyes drifting off to Jackie, sitting a few steps away from you two. Shauna’s eyes were on her too.

— Do you think this will end someday?

— Everything does eventually, Tiq. In a good or bad way… everything ends.

— You're harvesting then?!

Like a sinner, a nômade living on the consequences of Adam and Eve.

You hear Mari’s voice and your whole body gets on alert. You get up from your kneeling position, poorly trying to hide the little strawberry patch with your own legs.

She pulled you by the collar of your shirt, her face so close to yours that you could almost see the anger in her irises.

— it’s not for you. 

You simply say, filled with hate too, angry at her for finding out,angry at her for being angry at you.

— Oh, yeah for who’s it then For your teen crush, yn? 

Her voice is so bitter that your ears hurt. You hated arguments, you hated people arguing, especially at you.

— What makes Lottie more deserving of it than any of us? 

You stare at her, and then you laugh.

Silly stupid little Mari.

How could one’s own mind be so deeply wrong? How could one’s own mind compare themselves with something as big and holy as a god?

— When they grow, they will be mine and Akilah’s too.

As she said that, she left.

You felt the urge to step on all your work, to dig your fingers deep on the dirt and take all those seeds elsewhere. 

Of course you felt sad, everyone was thinking you all would die — and everyone was pretending to not care about the imminent death and only worry about the stupid ball. You weren’t mad because there was a ball, you were mad because everyone was suddenly losing hope. 

For you, the absence of hope was a death of the soul. Soon, the body would go too.

What was the point of life if you didn’t hope for things to get better? You wanted to cry, but who were you to deny an opportunity to dance with Lottie? To deny an opportunity to dance at all?

If there was one thing Lottie liked, it was watching the moon. She would sit by the window and concentrate so hard that she could almost hear it saying goodnight.

She didn't hear you arrive, you didn't announce yourself, but a snap of your mouth did. 

You smiled ungraciously and waved softly at her. Your furred ears costume had little ribbons on it, Lottie saw it as a sign: you were a gift from the wild to her.

— Why does your mom call you bambi? — you approached, leaning on the tree next to the girl and looking in the same direction as her.

— It's because I jump around when I'm excited. — Lottie smiled, looking at you; You were different, lighter. Maybe it was the mood of the upcoming party, nobody felt pressured to be someone different in the dark lights and upcoming death.

— What should I call you then? My deer? — you laughed, playing on the pun of dear and deer.

Lottie Matthews always knew what to say, making cheeky comments and being the outgoing type, but you took all her words, she could never finish a sentence, let alone a seductive one. 

Ignoring the way her heart was skipping a beat at being called "mine", she followed what was comfortable: concentrating on the joke. 

She liked hearing it. She didn't know if it was her instinct as an only child who was born without having to share, but the idea of being the only one to whom you felt comfortable enough to open up so much made her chest fill with pride. 

She tried to push aside her selfish thoughts of keeping what you said to herself.

— Have you ever read Sarah Ruhl? In one of her short stories, she tells about a great American surgeon called Halsted. He was married to a nurse whom he loved very much. One day Halsted noticed that his wife's hands were red when she came back from surgery. — you were so enthusiastic, explaining everything with such joy, how could she remember and know so many general and random facts? How could Lottie pay attention to her costume when all she could do was stare at your lips? — And then he invented rubber gloves. For her. Sarah said it was one of medicine's great love stories, talking about how the difference is made out of love.

Lottie stared at her, smiling and vaguely remembering reading something about the construction of love. She knew that her feelings for you were big enough to make her invent something as good as gloves. Even if at the moment it was something as small as a party.

— Do you think everyone is going to have a love story this good? Or does the universe choose a few lucky people at random, Lotts? — you thought out loud, then laughed mockingly and denied it, asking her to let it go. Lottie smiled, handing you a box.

You had to hold back tears when you opened it and saw a tiara made out of leaves and flowers. You smiled happily.

You couldn't form words, so you just hugged her tightly.

— Your antlers are a bit too big — you laughed.

And Lottie felt the inspiration of a scientist.

2021

You loved gardening. 

Everything you did in the mud, came back in some way. All your efforts would eventually lead to something, it didn’t had any subjectivity on it, it was simple and clear: plant it, take care of it and receive it. 

You had a notebook to note every single one of your seeds and gardening cares, some tips and even pictures of your most beloved ones. However, your favorite of it all was, without a doubt, your strawberry patch.

It was so incredibly taken care of, strawberries as red as blood, leaves as green as hope. You would sit there, putting water, take off bugs with delicate fingers and eat a fruit straight from the patch.

— I never liked strawberries too much, most of them don’t taste like anything.

Laura said, playing with one of the ladybugs.

Or, rather, Laura’s ghost said. Today, she felt adventurous, following you outside of your house. Her clothes dripped water, and her neck was burned by flames. It was an unusual sight — that was already usual to you.

— You can’t know they all taste like that if you don’t eat all of them. 

— That’s stupid — she giggles, shaking her head — you don’t need to know everything to hate it.

You smiled, taking off your gloves and smiling at her.

— I was never able to see the crickets; I used to get so deeply upset about it… — You confessed, your face holding a nostalgic smile; It was a strange action in Laura’s point of view: you were so young, what could you have in the past to be longed for? — Until one day a cricket got into my room and I ran away… I’m afraid that once a person truly sees something, she will wish to go back and never see anything at all. like you, with a strawberry.

You shake your head, it was funny, confess sins to a ghost. 

There was a whole life in those woods, hungry and harvest, misery and tragedy and hope, and there was birth and death.

And it's hard because you can't kill the person you were in that lifetime, but you also can't still be her. So there's just this ghost of yourself lurking over your shoulder, despising your every move, watching you sin.

— And guess what, Laura: tomorrow when I wake up, I'll have a wonderful day, and when I put my head on my pillow to sleep, I'll think again: how much happier I would've been if I had been doing this at seventeen.

When on the stage, you felt a flower fall on your feet, you got down and picked it up, recognizing it as a white lily. 

You didn’t see her right away, but you felt it.

Your soul was being pulled toward hers and then your eyes went to find her, looking non-stop for someone who would make your breath stop.

Twenty five years later, and you would still recognize her blind. You would still acknowledge her presence even if all your senses were compromised, for you would only be you if there was the flame of your love for lottie inside your body.

You just hoped that the you’s of other universe’s had a more kind life to love her.

1996

The doomsday ball

You’ve never felt happier as you did when Lottie asked you to go as her date to the ball. Finally, the rainbow before the thunderstorm.

Your mother said that there were five hells — and that one of them was destined only for people like you, but you didn't care about that anymore. If hell were as warm as Charlotte's embrace, you would walk through the gates with a smile on her face.

You had always had many doubts about the Bible.

You read the verses, imagining yourself in the places of angels and heroes — even though the position of sinners, and those who sought mercy, always seemed more real to you (as if you had been born with your hands in prayer and your knees already scraped).

You looked at the saints, seeing them deprive themselves of their desires to finally find the way to God. You thought about what you wanted — Charlotte — and saw no difference between your desire and your destiny.

You smile, seeing everyone so pretty and happy, like things were supposed to be since the beginning. You take a deep breath, going to take a sip of your drink as you watch Van e Tai give a kiss.

A whole new world seems to show up in front of you.

A world of possibilities and wishes, of love and care.

A world where there were no sins, only passion.

— C'mon, dance with me! — Lottie’s arms were moving like tentacles, like a snake calling you to sin. 

Eager to please, you bit the apple. Your movements were too graceful for a party, you didn't know how to move without rules to follow, without an established pattern to be guided to.

One of Lottie's hands went to your left cheek, caressing it slightly while the other was holding a makeshift cigarette Natalie had made — you wondered what would burn more: the flame she was smoking or her touch. 

— You're just such a pretty little lamb, aren't you? 

Lottie’s tone was condescending, but she had a playful, even flirtatious smile for you — the look of a predator who knows how to tear every piece of his prey apart.

Lottie leans closer, her nose almost touching her lover's one. You could feel the warmth of her breath on your skin. Lottie pulls your body to her.

— I just can't hide how I feel... I want you so much. I've never wanted someone as much as you, darling... — she presses her lips together as she goes in to whisper something in your ear — Your heart is so sweet...

Lottie gets even closer, her voice barely audible: 

— I want to taste it.

And the closer she gets, the far away she seems. You don't know why, but the booze might have made your thoughts and vision unclear. 

You smile, giggling happily, your hips moving to the music playing inside your head.

Lottie’s mouth gets close, close to your chest and, having access to your skin by the cut of your dress, she licks your chest. Gently, at first, then eagerly, hungrily. Her mouth leaves hicks on your skin, you feel the blood being pulled and released and then you feel the first bite. Her teeth penetrate your skin. 

You cry out, but it's a muffed one, not out of pain, but out of relief. You get out of breath, your shaking hands going to her hair, caressing it.

While you felt your meat being taken away from you, while Lottie took what always had belonged to her, your mind was feverishing with thoughts, screaming confessions:  

I cannot confess anymore, it is not enough, I need to devour my sins, to let them perish from where they came from. 

Biting my tongue, I wish to bite my hand.

I want the marks, I need the flaws and claws and teeth teeth teeth

Lottie takes a step away, her eyes watery from the pleasure she had felt, her fingertips aching to touch you, her teeth aching for more. 

Her mouth was completely bloody, with your red ink falling down her chin. 

— You are the most beautiful creature I've ever seen. 

You felt the urge to kiss Travis too, only to be able to feel Lottie's lips, but then Shauna kissed him and suddenly the thought made you sick. 

Your head was dizzy, you missed Laura. 

You sit out the ground of the cabin, not able to recognize faces or things, you can hear voices but none of them is clear. So you stay still, trying to understand why your vision was so blurred.

When your eyes truly open, you are alone. A deep fear settles onto your chest, and you start to breathe heavily, your lips quivering and bloody tears rolling down your face. You put your tongue out, tasting their salt flavor.

You did not pray that night, but you had a serious personal conversation with Jesus. You hoped he had good days, good enough to show him that life isn't just about dying for other people's sins.

[prowied]

| blood sucker : lottie matthews x reader

[ lottie has been acting strange ever since what happened in the attic aka, vampire?lottie ]

!!! : slight spoilers for s1, biting, blood

wc : 800+

lottie cups her hands around your cheeks and leans slowly into your lips. you melt into the kiss, leaning forward and resting your hands on her shoulders. you can feel the corners of lottie’s lips curl into a contagious grin and she giggles while sliding her arms around your neck. lottie feels so warm, pressing her skin against yours. late morning light falls through the gym bathroom window and the ceramic of the bathroom sink is cold against your thigh. lottie starts to attack your soft lips, biting softly at your bottom lip. you scoff, and place your hands against lottie’s chest, opposed to biting.

”okay lot, we should probably go back on the field.”

lottie, lost in the lust, bites you even harder. her grasp becomes strong and her teeth skewer into your lip. this wasn’t like a teething puppy, but more like a blade ripping into the thin layers of your skin. the taste of copper trickles onto your tongue and you're finally able to pull away. you quickly wipe your hand across your mouth, and looking down you see a streak of crimson blood.

“lottie, what the hell?”

you look to lift your head waiting for a reasonable response, only what you saw was the opposite of that. lottie’s entire mouth was covered in your blood and it was spread from the bottom of her nostril down to her chin. she slowly opened her mouth, revealing her sharp canines and her blood-stained tongue.

you start to panic before your eyes burst open and you start to catch your breath. you sit up and intently look around, reminded of the dull attic. it was still night, probably past midnight with only a sliver of moonlight peeking through, leaving the sun to take its place. the attic was once lively, filled with the laughter and the thrill of the yellowjackets team. however, after what lottie became that night, the team was always on edge. you glance in the other direction. lottie’s soft brown curls shuffle from the break in the silence. you clench your blankets knowing what you saw was only a dream, but scared that your dream could become reality. lottie slowly turns to you, her wrist rubbing her squinted eyes. you gaze at her soft eyebags, and her uneven skin color from the harsh weather.

“hey lot, you should go back to sleep,”

lottie slowly sits up and groans. you rubbed your hand along her back. her hair falls over her face. you can feel vibrations from her voice against your hand, and lottie starts to murmur something under her breath. your eyebrows create a wrinkle in your forehead. you lean in closer to her face, trying to make out what she’s saying, although none of it sounds audible. suddenly, lottie grabs your shoulders and pins you down into the blankets. her grip is harsh, stronger, almost supernatural, to the point where you feel her nails could break into your skin at any moment. her legs kneeled in between yours, as she pants slightly. the ends of her hair brush your cheeks. you gaze up at her. lottie’s jaw is open faintly, saliva is pooled at the bottom of her mouth, and her canines are extruded past the normal length of her teeth. there’s a slight haze to her irises, and reflections of the light from the window almost as if she was about to cry. your hands shake as you wrap around lottie’s forearms. you wait for a response, apology, or even an outburst of anger would satisfy you.

“lottie..”

“please,”

she leans into the crook of your neck.

“let me have you, yn”

slowly, lottie digs her teeth into your sensitive skin. drawing blood, and letting it drip down your neck. you grunt through your teeth and your shoulders tense up from the pain, making lottie release her teeth from your neck. as you hang your mouth open to say something, lottie cuts you off, slapping her hand over your mouth. you start to sweat and begin to feel your face getting flushed.

“the wilderness told me to. let me.”

lottie licks the blood pooled out from your skin and swallows. you hoped this was another dream, or maybe you’d become crazy from how long you were in the woods. however, you can’t deny how real it feels. the pain makes your body shiver, and you can still see the soul behind her eyes. you slowly sit back up, leaning against the wall, while lottie straddles your lap. lottie drops her head down as if the threat in her had left. you take your hands and cup her cheeks. using your shaking thumb you grab the corner of her mouth and reveal her blood-stained teeth. you remove your thumb from her lips and her expression defaults into her worrisome look.

“im sorry. yn im hungry”

you pull lottie towards you, tilting your head sideways you kiss her. you lip the bottom of her lip, asking for entry. you’ll let her feed on you. you’d let her suck all the blood out if it would kill you. she lets you explore her mouth. suddenly she clenches your thigh, making you gasp. by letting the lust take her over she takes control, biting softly at your lip. lottie rubs your waist, and kisses you on the nose.

“thank you”

i would like to write longer fics.. however here is something ive managed to write out stay tuned for more yj..... because i love them a lot tehee

[returnofeternity]

synopsis. you go too far in the caves.

pairing: lottie matthews x gn!reader

genre: angst and fluff.

warnings. drug use, suffocation, passing out, character death for like a second?

wc: 2,246

· · 𐂂 · ·

you should have just stayed in bed and waited for her to come back. you knew where she was and what she was doing, and you knew she needed to be alone, but you couldn't sleep so you went looking for her.

she was doing exactly what you thought she was doing, aka praying to the Wilderness, but she was crying. and you hate it when she cries. and you hate how miserable she looked when she told you she couldn't hear It and that It didn't listen. you wanted to make her happy. so, you blurted out the only thing that's been cheering her up for the past few weeks.

"take me to the caves. i want to see more."

to be quite frank, you really dislike all these cave sessions lottie's been making you do. tripping out in the wilderness with shrooms was fine, cool even, but you can't count how many times you've almost died in the caves. the worst part is that it's all for naught. your 'visions' make no sense to you. most of the time they're just hallucinations of you and lottie back at home with some weird shit sprinkled in instead of visions of what the Wilderness desires. that's what these trips have been for; to hear and feel the Wilderness. and you do! you're connecting with it just like lottie wants, but you're not seeing It. you feel like you're failing lottie.

and you'd do anything to make her happy.

so going back to the caves with the gas leak it is.

lottie tightens the rope around your waist, looking up at you for confirmation that it's tight enough. you nod in return and she gives you a delicate smile, dropping her end of the rope so she can pick up the candle. the flame lights her face perfectly, and you get lost in her big, brown eyes as she moves a piece of her hair from out of her face.

"you should go deeper." she says, her voice gentle and calm. "maybe you'll be able to see more."

you don't like this idea.

"okay," you agree, your fingers nervously fiddling with the rope tied around your waist. "but is the rope even long enough?"

she looks down to eye the length and nods when she looks back at you. "it should be. just go as far as you can, okay? i got you." she reassures you, leaning in for a short kiss that makes all your worries melt away.

lottie pulls her mask up to cover her nose and mouth and bends down to pick up the rope before walking back to kneel by the entrance, rope tight in her hand. you let out a shaky breath and turn your back to her, wondering what the fuck you keep getting yourself into.

as you start walking into the cave, you hear lottie call out from behind, her voice echoing loudly off the walls. "listen to what's happening around you."

you mumble back an "okay" like she can hear you and steady yourself against the wall as you close your eyes and take a deep breath, trying to tune into the Wilderness. your shoes scuff against some rocks as you feel your way around and you gasp as a flash of you on a cliff pops into your mind. when you blink your eyes open, you're still in the cave, but it's cold as if the wind is nipping against your nose and cheek. despite the bad feeling you have in your stomach, you venture further into the dark cave. your eyes feel heavy and you keep bumping your shoulder against the wall of the cave because of how disoriented you feel. maybe you should sit down for a second.

you slide down the wall, groaning at the rocks scratching your back, and lift your shirt up to your nose so you can try and breathe properly. your throat burns as you take raggedy breaths and your eyes prickle with tears. this was a horrible idea. maybe you should just head back and make something up to make lottie happy. but if she found out you lied she'd be angry at you. goddammit.

the rope around your waist pulls you forward slightly and you catch yourself with your hands, face grimacing as you breathe in the not-so-fresh air of the cave. weakly, you pat the ground for the rope trailing behind you and tug at once to let lottie know you're okay. you make a retching sound as you move to get up, frothy drool leaking from your lips and onto the cave ground. well, shit, that's never happened before. you'd better hurry and get the fuck out of out here. you can come another time. lottie would understand.

when you get up, reality flashes between that cliff you saw and the cave. it makes you pause, and when you step forward and blink, you're on the cliff. right on the edge. you try to move back but your feet are glued to the ground. the wind blows harshly and makes your eyes well up with tears, and it's only then you realize that you can only move your eyes. everything else is stiff. you try to shout for lottie, but your mouth won't open, and even the choked sob that racks your body doesn't let out. it sounds more like a muffled scream.

the wind blows again but this time it's with more force and it makes you sway back and forth. the feeling makes your stomach sink, and a cold sweat washes over your body. your wide eyes fly to the bottom of the cliff, the clouds and rocks below making it seem like it's millions of miles deep. you start praying for something to wake you up from this hallucination; lottie, the Wilderness, god, who-the-fuck-ever can help you.  

suddenly, just as your body leans forward, about to fall off the cliff, you're back in the caves. you fall down, head bumping against the rocky floor and getting scratched up. your throat tightens and you wheeze, hands reaching up to grab at whatever force is choking you. the feeling is terrible. no matter how hard you try and breathe, you just can't. as the edges of your vision begin to fade to black, you let out a feeble whisper of lottie's name.

· · 𐂂 · ·

lottie tugs at the rope again, heart pounding in her chest when she feels how loose it is. she takes her mask off for a second to call out your name, listening intently for any response back. she hears nothing, and when she pulls the rope down in frustration, it snaps back so easily.

you're not attached to it anymore.

she puts her mask back on so fast that she accidentally scratches her nose. she holds her breath as best as she can as she jogs into the cave, frantically calling out your name and cursing under her breath. lottie tries to tap into the Wilderness, trying to feel where you could be, but she can't seem to sense you anymore. it's like a fading pulse in her head as she takes deep breaths and searches for you.

her eyes tear up and she sniffs, looking around to see if she can spot your body somewhere. there, in the corner, she can see your limp hand. immediately she rushes toward you, dropping to her knees and scooping your weak body into her lap.

"i got you. you're okay, you're okay." she mutters to herself rather than you.

lottie tugs you up and carries you back to the entrance of the cave, her muscles burning as she tries to keep upright and keep you in her arms despite the lack of fresh air in her lungs. she collapses near the opening and apologizes to your unconscious body for accidentally hurting you. her hands cradle your face and she shakes you, body prickling with fear when she notices just how limp you are.

she puts her hands over your heart and starts to pray. "bring them back to us. bring them back to us." your pulse slowly weakens more as she repeats those words over and over, and she gets desperate. she looks around the cave before her eyes land on the flickering candle. "fuck it."

she grasps onto the can that's a candle and slices her hand on the sharp edge, instantly dripping her blood onto your body and moving into a prayer position with her bloody hand over your heart.

"bring them back to me. bring them back to me. bring them back. please. please."

you come back into consciousness screaming for lottie and clawing at your throat. you can finally breathe but barely. lottie's there to shush you and stroke your head, grabbing you by your shirt to tug you into her arms.

"'it's okay, it's okay, you're safe. i got you." she whispers to you, soothingly rubbing your back and helping you get your breathing back to normal. she pushes you back gently and strokes your cheek, her thumb wiping your freshly falling tears.

"i'm sorry, i tried to go as far as i could." your voice is hoarse as you speak and it hurts. you cling onto her warm arms and rub her skin with your thumbs to try and calm yourself down but you can't keep your sobs in. she pulls you back in for a hug and shakes her head. you stay there for a few moments, thinking about whether you should tell her what you saw or stay silent. "i wanna go back now, please."

maybe you'll tell her later.

· · 𐂂 · ·

lottie holds your hand all the way back to the huts, even when you told her you needed to take a piss. it's endearing but still uncomfortable. didn't help the fact that she didn't take her eyes off you either.

the walk back is silent, and you know she feels guilty because she's not saying anything. you want her to say something, but your throat hurts too much to speak, so you just rub her thumb and pull her closer to your side.

when you get back to the shelter, she sits you down on the bed and tells you to stay put while she runs and gets a rag and bowl of water. you don't know why she's cleaning you up when she's the one who's bleeding more than you, but it feels nice to be taken care of by her. honestly, you almost forget about the scratches on your head until you hiss at the slight pain as she cleans them up. lottie leaves again to get her herb paste made from heliotropes and other various plants to put on your wounds, cooing at you quietly when you whine from how much it stings.

"let me put it on your hand?" you suggest after she sets the paste down on the bed and kisses your nose. "it looks bad."

she nods and gives you her hand, and you clean it with some water first before applying the purple-ish paste. lottie bites her lip as you gently rub it across the nasty gash on her palm, and you apologize softly as you finish with it. you bring her hand to your lips so you can kiss it and help her onto your lap and into bed with you, cuddling her side protectively.

"we should take a few days off so you can rest before we go back." lottie mumbles, her fingers dancing along the side of your arm.

you sigh and shut your eyes, stomach swarming with uneasy feelings. "lott, i don't think i want to do this anymore. i mean, fuck, i almost died in there."

she sits up on her arm and leans over you, pieces of her hair tickling your face. "i know, but we need to figure out what the Wilderness wants. you're the closest to It now. It'll tell you what It needs, you just need to learn how to understand It. i can teach you."

you shake your head and gulp down some tears, turning your head away from her and inhaling heavily. "i was on some cliff before i passed out. i couldn't move at all. the vision stopped right as i fell from it, and then that's when i started choking. i don't know what it means. i don't know what any of my visions mean."

lottie frowns and leans over you some more so she can try and catch your gaze, and when you look back at her, her eyes are just as sad as you are. she bends down and captures your lips in a reassuring kiss, resting her head on your forehead as she whispers: "it's okay. we'll figure it out together. you just have to keep trying. we'll be safer next time."

your shoulders slump back against the blankets in defeat. you know she's just being pushy because wants the best for the group, but sometimes you wish she'd listen. you give a half-assed smile and nod, your fingers prodding at the holes in her mesh shirt as you try not to think about how nervous you are to go back.

"can you make me that herb tea? the one that always helps me sleep..." you mumble, feeling like you just need to rest for weeks to forget about today.

[returnofeternity]

synopsis. the older woman who's been stalking you at work offers to leave you alone if you go to a motel with her for one night.

pairing: charlotte matthews x butch!reader (masc terms used)

warnings. legal age gap, perv/stalker!lottie, stalker relationship, smut ofc which means 18+, motel sex if that's a warning you need. character death? but that's for you to decide....

wc: 2,528

· · 𐂂 · ·

the flash of a fur coat makes your heart sink.

fuck. she's really gonna get you fired one of these days. you don't know how many times your manager has yelled at you about her. it's not even your fucking fault! you're getting stalked by this older woman and he has the nerve to yell at you? all you can really do is kick her out, so you don't know why he's so pissed every time she manages to sneak in. she doesn't even sneak in sometimes. she's bold and watches you through the windows while she pretends she's on the phone.

you have no idea why she chose you.

are you a tiny bit flattered? of course. but are you also a tiny bit scared? of course. she doesn't seem dangerous, nor has she posed any real threat to you other than scolding you when you forgot to ask her if she wanted bags that one time, but there's a motive as to why she's following you. is she planning on kidnapping you? murdering you?

just as you start thinking darker thoughts, the stack of cereal boxes you're putting away gets knocked down from beside your feet. you close your eyes and try to breathe slowly. it's been a long fuckin' day.

"i'm so sorry," the voice that calls out makes you open your eyes immediately. it's her. "i didn't see you."

bullshit, you think. it almost makes you laugh.

"you know you're not supposed to be in here." you reply, gathering the fallen boxes and sitting them back up on your opposite side. she shifts on her feet and you can't help but stare at her exposed ankles. you blink hard and crane your neck up at her where she stands before you. "don't make me call security on you."

"please, we both know they can't lay a hand on me." her tone is sarcastic and teasing, and she looks away from you to glance at a bag of cereal on the shelf and taps her fingers on it. "i wouldn't be mad if you were the one to drag me out, though."

her eyes light up at the thought of your hands touching her arms as you drag her out.

"look," you huff, getting up off the floor and to your feet. "you're gonna get me fired if you keep coming in here. my manager's pissed."

"don't worry, i wouldn't let that happen."

you furrow your brows at what she means by that but roll your eyes.

"besides, i came here to ask you something." lottie raises her hand when you go to open your mouth to tell her off, and she finds herself smiling when you obey immediately. "a trade-off."

you lean on your other foot and cross your arms, looking her up and down. you're curious. you nod for her to continue.

"come with me to my motel and i'll leave you alone forever. you have my word." she smiles at you and crosses her heart, holding your gaze with an intense stare.

forever? why are you upset about forever? and why do you not buy her obvious lie?

"and i'm just supposed to believe you? one fuck and you're just gonna walk away?" you scoff at her.

she nods and leans in some, her perfume hitting your nose and making you dizzy. lottie licks her lips and softens her eyes. "i'm gonna be going away soon. i want my last night here to be with you. making love to you. or fucking you, if that's what you want."

you make some sort of choking laugh sound at her boldness and scratch at your neck awkwardly, staring at the letters on the cereal box and trying to make up your mind.

"are you serious?" you ask, frowning when she nods. "where are you going?"

"is that a yes?" she smirks, balling up her fists excitedly.

you let out a tiny sigh and roll your eyes, smiling lightly as you nod. "yes. but it better be a nice fucking motel."

· · 𐂂 · ·

you end up giving lottie your contact information so she can call you later to pick you up. you're pretty sure she already had it though and she was just covering her ass. you've gotten too many "you looked pretty today" texts to assume otherwise. you start to regret it halfway through your shift when she won't stop blowing your phone up. you're excited when you go to check your phone for the time and see some notifications, only to find out they're all from lottie.

all 17 of them.

and lottie, who kept her word and left the lot, is patiently waiting by the motel where she said she'd uber you to. her body itches to go back and watch you through her car, but she has your security work cameras she hacked into to keep her from doing so. her fingers cradle your face through her screen as she watches on her phone, stomach bubbling with excitement as she waits for tonight.

when it's time to clock out, you wait outside the store and mumble to yourself as you check your phone for the uber lottie sent. should be here any second... you look up and sigh, gulping when you spot the car pull into the parking lot. you're so nervous and excited it feels like you're floating. nervous because you have no idea if lottie's being truthful. she could be taking you to her house to murder you and you'd have no idea. excited because you have no idea. it's a thrill.

the uber ride is silent and you thank god lottie's constantly texting you so you have something to busy yourself with. you arrive at some busy street and furrow your brows. this isn't the motel... leaning forward, you speak up to the driver. "uh, sorry, but i'm supposed to be at some motel."

he hums and swipes his finger against the map on his phone, not even doing or looking for anything. "no. this is where the drop-off location is."

you glance at your phone again, another notification from lottie popping up.

lottie: Are you here yet?

you thank the driver and get out, eyes scanning the busy crowd in search of lottie. it's so overwhelming as people push past and talk loudly next to you. you almost give up until you feel your phone buzz, looking down to see that lottie's calling you. you sigh with relief and pick up, still looking all over the place to see if you can spot her.

"where are you?" you both say.

"i'm waving. can you see me?" lottie's voice booms through the speaker and you grimace, holding it away from your ear as you look around. "i'm by some construction people."

suddenly, you see that big fur coat. you nod like she can see it and laugh at yourself before giving her a verbal answer. once you two spot each other, she smiles so big you can see it even though she's like a blob from where she is. she saunters toward you while you take your time and shuffle your feet, suddenly looking at her in a whole new light.

you're about to fuck your stalker.

and you like the thought of it.

you always thought of her as beautiful, but you couldn't stand how invasive she was. her attractiveness was offset by how often you got in trouble at work because of her, and you started resenting her a little bit. but you won't lie; a part deep inside of you always wished she would've tried something with you.

oh, if you only knew how often she'd break into your house....

she tells you that she wanted to walk with you over to the motel to spend more time with you. you find yourself endeared. she's quiet for once as you walk next to her, her fingers ever so often brushing against yours like she wants to hold your hand. her furry coat rubs against your arms as she tries to get closer, and you can't help but grin.

lottie leads you to her motel room, which by the way, is indeed a fancy as fuck place, and you shuffle inside. you look around in awe at the decoration and amount of space in here. damn, you could live here. when you turn around, lottie's got her coat off and is just in her beige dress. you flush and rake your eyes down her body, taking in the curves of her hips and the length of her long legs. your eyes snap back to her face when her legs move forward, and you slowly back up against the bed. you've nowhere to go when she corners you, and you fall back onto your ass, hands gripping the sheets on either side of you. she's breathing unevenly as she stares down at you, and your eyes fall to her rising chest. her nipples are poking through her dress and your mouth opens on its own as you think about getting to see them.

"you're so handsome." lottie mumbles, her hand stroking your cheek. her thumb swipes your bottom lip, cooing when you kiss it. her index finger traces your lips and slowly slips inside your mouth. it's slender and long, and you gag a little bit when she presses her finger flat against your tongue.

she huffs with a smile and her thumb taps your chin, signaling for you to open your mouth. she takes her finger out slowly and has to close your jaw for you, and she chuckles at how stunned you are.

"have you ever been with an older woman before?" she asks, bending slightly to hike her dress up with one hand, pushing you back with another.

your mouth goes dry at the sight of her bare thighs, and you let out the most embarrassing noise as she settles on top of your lap. all you can do is shake your head no. her breath hits your face and you don't know where to look. her eyes? her lips? the freckle on her nose? you're thinking too hard. and too much. you need to loosen up.

you swallow down your nerves and touch her thighs, slipping your hands under the fabric of her dress until you grab her hips. you pull her closer, biting your lip to conceal a groan as she starts grinding on your lap. the lacy material of her panties rubs against your thigh, making your clit throb as you begin to feel how wet she's getting.

your eyes droop in hunger, your head rolling forward as you ghost your lips over hers and pant desperately. she meets you halfway and completes the kiss, her tongue slipping into your mouth and clashing with yours. her hand wraps around your neck and drags you down until you're flat against the mattress, holding you down with her hips and continuing to hump against your lap.

"i want to taste you. take your clothes off for me." she whispers against your lips, hands greedily pulling at your shirt to get you to hurry in doing so. she scoots off and allows you to undress while she does the same, throwing her dress off to the side and watching you with hungry eyes as you fumble with your boxers.

it's hard to concentrate on kicking them off when lottie's glistening pussy is now in your view, her bush making your brain fully malfunction. jesus, she's perfect. you want to speak up and ask if you can taste her first as she walks toward you again, impatiently yanking the rest of your boxers off your legs, but she's settled in between your legs with her nails digging possessively into your sides before you can open your mouth.

there's a twinkle in her eyes as she peers up at you from down there, and you wouldn't have heard it if you weren't holding in a bated breath, but you hear her sniff your arousal. you're so turned on by it that you close your eyes and let out a low groan, your stomach doing flips as she leans in closer and closer until her lips attach to your needy clit.

"oh, fuck," your body melts back against the mattress at the contact, and you tangle your hands through her dark hair to push her closer. she sucks harshly before pulling away, teeth scraping lightly against your clit as she does so. "shit, lottie."

"let me have you all night? i'll pay for your ride home in the morning, just let me fuck you until you pass out." she pleads, hands kneading your stomach as she presses hot, open-mouthed kisses against your thigh.

· · 𐂂 · ·

when you wake up in the morning, missing lottie's touch, you reach over the stand-in lottie pillow she put in your arms before she left and grab your phone from the nightstand. you scroll through your phone's contacts until you reach her name and hover your finger over the screen. should you? you decide that, yes, you should, and press the call button, swallowing down any nerves you have.

the wait feels like forever and your stomach starts to hurt as you listen to the rings. you sit up straight when you hear a beep followed by the words, "we're sorry, you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service." your heart pounds fast and your body sweats.

what the fuck? it must be a mistake.

you wipe your brow and look down at your phone, ending the call and hopping up from the bed. you call her again but it's the same message. was she actually leaving like she said she was and disconnected her phone? but why?

you look around the room for any sort of sign that she could still be here, but all her things are gone. you check the bathroom and even head down to the lobby to see if she might've gotten hungry and gone down for breakfast. she's not in either of those places. the receptionist didn't even see her leave.

you trudge back to the room, upset that you didn't even get to say goodbye. it's silly, you think. you barely even knew her other than the fact that she was stalking you for some reason, but you miss her. you're going to miss her. hell, you'll even miss her at work. at least your manager will be happy.

the room feels suffocating now that you're alone in it, and you look around once again, scanning for anything you might've missed. your eyes narrow when you notice there's a piece of paper on one of the nightstands. it's her handwriting, you know because of the pile of her letters in your drawer back at home, and it says:

i hope this will be enough for you. i've enjoyed our time together. - charlotte ꨄ

you feel another piece of paper underneath the letter, and when you reveal it, your eyes almost pop out of your head.

it's a check for fifty grand.

[returnofeternity]

Heyy can you make a oneshot with Lottie in the wildness preferably in season 2 after Shauna beats her and Lottie needs someone to care for her??

· · 𐂂 · ·

you're the first to check up on lottie after shauna storms out of the cabin, holding her frail and beaten body up as she chokes out chunks of her own blood. her skin is an ugly purple, and your heart sinks at how close to death she looks.

you mutter out frantically as the rest of the girls kneel down to help her stand up, trying to let them know that you need to take her up to the attic. you let mari and nat hold her as you rush over to the ladder first, climbing up and waiting anxiously as they carry her limp body up the stairs. you hold her under her armpits and drag her up the rest of the way and gently place her on shauna's bedding. how ironic.

mari, nat, and the rest of them soon pile into the attic, surrounding lottie with worried looks and frantic words.

"we should clean her up first. misty, or whoever the fuck, get me a rag and a bucket." you don't know when you decide to be in charge around here, but for a second, it's nice seeing half of them scramble down the stairs and following your orders.

as you wait for them to return, you hold onto lottie and try to get her blood-stained hair out of her eyes, your face grimacing at how quickly her face is swelling up. jesus, shauna went all in. you feel rage boil in your stomach as you think about how she only came out of this with some bruised knuckles.

lottie coughs up blood again, some of it splattering onto your face. your heart stops when she quits moving after her coughing fit, unnerving still and seemingly not breathing.

"lott?" you shake her. "lottie? hey, c'mon."

everything is quiet for a moment as you hold your breath and analyze her face, looking for any sign of life in her. you grow desperate and clutch her chest where her heart is, something she did to travis when he was having his panic attack. you feel something, a very faint and very weak beat, and you release your breath shakily as you prop her to sit up.

· · 𐂂 · ·

when she's all cleaned up, her deep purple face now a pale-reddish one, you still stay by her side.

you've been up half the night just watching over her and making sure that she's still breathing. you helped her up to pee, the disgusting smell of copper still in your nostrils as you play mindlessly with the fur on her coat. you helped her drink some water, telling her over and over again how sorry you are because she was in so much pain trying to swallow it down. you blushed brightly after she mumbled out what you thought was a "thank you" before she succumbed back into her sleep.

you think this is the most you've interacted with lottie since you met her.

it's funny how it took all this for you to finally crack your shell and talk to her. well, not funny at all, actually, she almost died. maybe is dying.

her small mumbles break you out of your thoughts, and you retract your hand in embarrassment as she grunts and rolls over, her hand clawing at her fur coat. her right eye, the only one that isn't swollen shut, opens, and she looks at you.

"off..." she mutters weakly, fingers fumbling with her zipper.

you nod and unzip her coat, carefully helping her out of it and placing it to the side. your hands hover over her second sweater, wondering if you should unbutton it for her too. she did feel burning hot a while ago, maybe she needs some cooling off?

you decide on it, and you unbutton her sweater before leaning over and grabbing the rag, dipping it in the lukewarm water. "do you need anything else?" you wipe her face, carefully dragging the rag over her swollen cheeks as you dab off some dried blood.

she shakes her head, slumping back onto the bed of blankets and pillows, and letting out a ragged breath. you feel your heart spike at how rough it sounds, nervousness settling in your bones.

you continue cooling her off with the rag, watching her very closely.

she speaks up again after a few moments. "you should... be down with the others where it's warm."

"i'm fine." you lie, shaking your head at her. you're freezing cold up here. you're pretty sure your toes have fallen off, or at least it feels like it. "i'm more worried about you. we're worried about you, i mean."

"even shauna," you continue, cheeks heating up at your little slip-up. "she came up here last night. i don't know if you heard her, but she was worried."

"i want you to put my body to use." she tells you, reaching out to hold your hand. you pull away in shock, but she grabs it again and holds as tightly as she can. "promise me."

you frown. "no. you're not gonna die, lottie. i'm not gonna let that happen. you'll be okay." you hate how considerate she always is. it's probably the thing you love most about her.

"promise me." she repeats.

you don't say anything for a while. you just avoid looking into her eyes and mess with the rag.

"you probably wouldn't taste that good, considering you might have a kidney infection." you mumble, glancing up at her face to gauge her reaction.

she smiles, or at least attempts to with her face all sore and swollen, and releases your hand. it makes you feel good that you got her to be happy, and you drop the rag back into the bucket of water.

"do you wanna try walking around again? you can almost walk without my help. you're getting better." you get on your knees, holding your hand out for her.

she sits up slowly, having a little trouble with the pain, and grabs onto your hand. "thank you for taking care of me. you're really good at it."

[returnofeternity]

since u jusr did lottie w a shorter gf….. what ab lottie wjth a taller gf…….. pls

i legit got three requests for a tall gf version i didn't know you guys were so tall.....

· · 𐂂 · ·

ohhh i think she'd be so flustered ngl. she's used to always being the tallest in the group, and now that someone's taller than her, she doesn't know what to do.

thinking about lottie who loves being tiny compared to you, even if it's just an inch difference 😊 she's clinging to you like a koala and making herself small so you can wrap your big, strong arms around her. lottie who blushes and bites her lip when people point out how tall you are compared to her, craning her neck to look up at you with sparkles in her eyes.

lottie who buys you platform shoes/heels to make you even taller because that's how much she likes the height difference. she likes tying your shoes for you and running her hands up your long legs before gripping your waist and standing up to kiss you :-)

loves to rest her head on your shoulder :( she also loves it when you rest your chin on her head when you hug her; it's one of her favorite things.

lottie who has to get on her tippy toes to kiss you 😭😭😭

lottie who wears your clothes and they're so baggy because she's so short 😭😭 she's a chronic sweater stealer. you can usually find her only wearing your sweater and her panties in the mornings because it goes down to her thighs.

lottie who loves being picked up and manhandled by you. lifting her up to kiss her, lifting her to put something on a shelf, picking her up and moving her somewhere in the kitchen because you keep getting distracted by her kisses, carrying her to the bed.....

if you're athletic at all and Not in basketball, she definitely jokes about how you need to join because you're so tall. you could say the same about her.

HEAD KISSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

just a long tangle of limbs when you guys cuddle. whether she's the big or small spoon, she's still so tiny compared to you. she would love it if you just covered her entire body because of how tall you are.

think she'd go a little crazy if you were tall AND beefy. more muscle and more limbs to kiss!!!

she loves summer because she gets to see your long legs in shorts. that's it.

lottie who sighs lovingly when you stand in doorways because you're literally as tall as it. if you're somehow taller and have to bend down, she always tells you to watch your head. (she's had to kiss it better so many times.)

[returnofeternity]

synopsis. you're still not coping well with the loss of your sibling. who better than to take your grief out on than your girlfriend who's at fault?

pairing: lottie matthews x gn!reader

genre: ANGST ANGST ANGST.

wc: 990

fic note. you're just replacing travis basically. just wanted lottie angst.

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your heart feels numb as you lead lottie to the covered pit trap you started making a few days ago out of boredom, the dozens of stakes you carved over and over for your sibling's grave finally having a use.

you don't know when you decided that you're gonna kill your girlfriend. maybe it was when she took the opportunity to leave this place away from you. maybe it was when she held you back as the girls chased your younger sibling after they pulled the queen card, telling you that the Wilderness chose them for Its sacrifice and there was nothing you could do about it. maybe it was all the times you'd sneak away from sleeping with her and go to the place where you hid their bones, talking to them about how sorry you are.

you think it was after she curbed your chance at rescue that made you so angry at her. you finally had the opportunity to go home, to get away from this place and the reminder of your sibling that pains you every day. but lottie's also a reminder.

and while staring into the pit one night, you saw a vision of her bloody body at the bottom and felt all the stress and guilt leave your body.

in some twisted way, you think that maybe if lottie's gone, you can finally breathe. you don't know. all you know is that something is telling you that this is right, even despite the feeling in your stomach telling you that this is wrong.

you have to blame someone.

"what's wrong?" lottie calls from behind you, her concerned voice making you flush with unbridled anger. she steps closer to you, analyzing your blank face and clenched jaw. "tell me. you know i can help."

"can you?" you scoff bitterly, looking at her with disgust. if you were thinking clearly, you would've hated the way she sunk in on herself and made the most devastating frown. "all you do is ruin things. we could've gotten rescued, we could be home right now. how can you not understand that you're not helping?"

you look away from her sad face, guilt and anxiety eating away at your brain. you can't think correctly. all you can hear is the screams of your sibling yelling for you to help them, the feeling of lottie's hand keeping you from saving them burning your wrist like a mark you can't get rid of.

you mumble frantically to yourself, closing your eyes and tugging and scratching painfully at your hair as you try to make their screams stop. "i can't let you keep doing this... i can't. i can't."

"i'm sorry." her voice breaks you out of your daze, and lottie's heart aches at your anguished face glistening with tears. "i'm sorry." she repeats, stepping closer, her hand hovering out and waiting for you to give her the okay to touch you. "i just wanted you to see that they're still here with us."

you let out a choked sound, something between a scoff and a laugh as you look at her. your hands shake as you take them out of your pockets and clench them, itching to just grab her shoulders and push her into the pit. you can't believe her. i mean, you can, you know her better than anyone else, but really, fuck this. fuck her.

"it's bullshit. you're fuckin' bullshit, lottie." you spit, walking closer and getting up in her face. "they're not with us, they're fucking 10 feet in the ground because you killed them—because you didn't let me save them." you correct yourself, stabbing your finger harshly into her chest.

"the Wilderness chose," she says calmly which pisses you off even more. "i know you're angry, but denying the Wilderness-"

you push her shoulder and shout in irritation, your fingernails finding their way back into your hair and digging harshly into your scalp until you think you feel the skin break. you blink a few times, the world around you spinning and turning into a blur as you feel all the anger and sadness you've been keeping inside finally spill out.

"it's not real!" you yell, pushing her back to where you covered the pit with twigs and leaves, holding your breath as she stumbles back and lands on her ass. you feel your throat close up when she doesn't fall in and you drop to your knees, hands clutching your ears as you sob. "it's not real....it's not real."

lottie's by your side within seconds, combating your attempts to push her off as you scream for your sibling.

"no! get away." you elbow her in the chest to try and get her off of you, but you can't help but stop resisting as she cradles you in her arms and shushes you. "i miss them, i miss them so much." you weep, hand clutching tightly onto lottie's as you let everything out.

"i know, i know." she whispers softly, her thumb swiping across your hand to comfort you. "it's okay. i know you're mad at me. I'm sorry, i love you."

you grieve into her arms until you can't shed any more tears and until your throat can't produce any more screams. you're tired, slumped into lottie's body as you breathe heavily and sniff away your snot. pain racks through your body as you try to move your neck to look at her, eyes fluttering when you notice tear stains on her cheeks.

she smiles sadly at you, her hand coming up to softly grab your chin to pull you in for a short kiss. she scratches behind your ear before moving to stand up, and you shake your head and pull her back down.

"i don't wanna leave yet. can we just...can you just hold me here for a while?" you murmur, feeling embarrassed and ashamed. but you need lottie, you know that now.

[returnofeternity]

https://www.tumblr.com/returnofeternity/778777323976704000/thinking-about-coming-to-lottie-cuz-youre-getting

Hi! I loved your fic and was wondering if I could request a continuation?

Maybe after that moment with Lottie, the energy between you two is off but also, something feels off around you specifically. Like there’s a constant sense of dread following you. Almost like It is upset with you. Lottie notices, maybe Akilah too, and even Travis (though he doesn’t want to admit it). But since you said you didn’t want to believe, no one really brings it up.

Then the next card draw happens, and you already kind of know it’s coming and felt it building, so when you pull the Queen card, you don’t run—you just accept it. Some of the others are a little frustrated (they like the chase), but also kind of sad. Lottie stays quiet, but it’s clear she saw it coming and is heartbroken.

You head outside alone and Lottie follows you with a knife, offering to do it gently. She’s crying. You apologize—to her and to It—and just as she’s about to go through with it, maybe a large animal sacrifices itself again. It’s a sign that you’ve been forgiven. Lottie is relieved, and you return to camp alive, to everyone’s surprise.

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god thinking about dealing with the fact that lottie broke up with you PLUS it's winter and you can't snuggle with her while she's wearing her 5 billion coats </3 it almost makes you wanna believe in the wilderness just so she'll take you back.

but on a real note. at first, the feeling that keeps following you feels like dread. which is normal because your girlfriend just broke up with you, but it's heavy and you can sense Something following you, not just the dread that comes with a break up. it gets to the point where you cant sleep anymore because it makes you feel so sick and weird, and you start getting these visions, maybe, of dead animals and just blood. blood everywhere. hallucinating it on the snowy ground, looking up at the girls to see if anyone else is seeing this shit, and ofc lottie's the only one who looks at you. she gives you a smug smile almost as if to say, "see? i told you It's real." and walks away.

maybe you feel worse when lottie's around because she's the most devoted to It. and even though she loves you, she hated the way you spoke of It—spoke of her—about how she's unwell. she knows you don't mean it though. you're just scared of It's power. you just have to let It in. she can sense whenever you see something It shows you via hallucination, smiling when you actually see it, but frowning when you push it away. maybe the wilderness tells her that you're not the one, that it's your time.

even though you don't believe in It, you just feel the worst anxiety come on when lottie suggests a hunt. you know It's going to choose you. part of you wants to just cry. part of you just wants to scream at her, "why don't you sacrifice yourself then?" but you know she'd happily take up that offer (she was so disappointed when she didn't pick the queen card 😭). the wilderness wants a real sacrifice. a hunt.

you almost raise your hand when shauna asks if there are anymore objections. almost.

when you wake up the morning of the card pull, you hear lottie's voice whisper your name from outside your hut, but when you get up to look outside, you're the only one out there. you almost feel yourself black out when getting in the circle, watching van shuffle the cards. the pressure and dread just builds and builds, and you can almost hear the shuffle of cards and the fall of snow like it's right next to your ear. everythings so loud.

you dont even look at the card you pulled before you show it to everyone. you already know. and if it wasn't obvious by the way you heard all the girls gasp, it was from the way van's shaky voice tells you she's sorry.

you peer up at lottie, feeling small. the dread in your stomach is too much now, and you wobble slightly as shauna approaches to put jackie's necklace around you.

"i don't want a hunt." you mumble, loud enough for her and the others to make out what you said. "you can just do it here."

shauna scoffs immediately and shakes her head. she wants this hunt—needs it. she looks to lottie for guidance, since she was the one who suggested the hunt in the first place. "you heard what she said. It wants a hunt."

"i'm not gonna run." you raise your voice and you push shauna's shoulders to get her away. it felt good. wrong move though, because she takes her knife from her sheath and brings it up to your throat, her eyes full of rage.

the mediator is of course lottie, who pulls shauna away and gets in between to protect you. you feel a rush of something as her hand lightly touches your arm as she talks to shauna.

"i can do it. the wilderness will still be pleased without a proper hunt." her voice is calm and steady. "they just have to give themselves to It."

when she looks back at you, there are tears in her eyes. it makes you feel even worse than the thought of dying.

much to shauna's (and some of the others) disappointment, you get off without a hunt. she slams her spear on the ground as she watches lottie lead you out into the forest, telling nat, "be ready to prepare the feast." before heading into her hut to cool down.

it's awkward as lottie leads you to your death. what are you supposed to say when your ex-girlfriend is taking you to a spot to kill you? you don't know, so you just say quiet while relishing the feeling of her hand in yours again, even despite the circumstances. when lottie thinks she's gone far enough, she turns to you, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"i promise i'll be gentle." her once steady voice is now a bit shaky. she doesn't know if it's because she's about to kill the one true love of her life, or because she's giving the wilderness what It wants.

the second you feel the knife pause against your chest, you break. everything comes pouring out at once. you try to calm yourself, furiously wiping at your face full of tears as you choke on your sobs, but you can't.

you drop to your knees before lottie. "i'm sorry, lottie. i'm sorry i didn't believe in It. i just didn't understand It. i want to, please, i'm sorry, for everything."

you hear lottie's breath hitch for just a second, and when you lift your head to look at her, her arm is raised, about to strike. but then, something emerges in the bushes in front of you. a bear.

she looks back at the sound and feels a heavy weight lift off her chest. another sacrifice.

you scramble to get up, pulling weakly at lottie's coat to get her away from the animal. she looks back at you and shakes her head, a soft smile on her lips, before she walks forward.

it's a scene similar to the aftermath of doomcoming as you watch the bear bow its head to lottie, offering itself to her. instead of you. you feel a calm wash of the forest air run over your body.

"It forgives you." is what lottie tells you on the walk back to camp. "it took courage to admit you don't understand It. you have to prove yourself to It now."

"how do i do that?" you ask her, standing awkwardly in her hut, but feeling good to be back in it. to be back with her. or, at least you think you're back together.

she smiles at you.

[returnofeternity]

thinking about the domestic life with lottie. sfw.

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that one scene with her in the kitchen with callie makes me tear up. i need to cook with this woman. she's so the type to slap your ass as she walks past, either with her hand or a towel. i think she'd love to grab a bag of cup(cake) mix every time you guys go to the store. and, she has to spend 10 minutes deciding what frosting and if she wants sprinkles or those little dots for the topping. she loves that aisle, man. every time she smells that bakery smell she's reminded of how fun it is to cook/bake with you in the kitchen and has to grab something.

you're her little taste tester too. sitting on the counter while she stirs some mixture, lottie dipping her finger in it and she opens her mouth to signal for you to open your lips before putting her finger inside. you love her fingers and you love cooking with her so it's like the best moment ever. you two always end up a little sidetracked during these taste tests heh....

probably wears an apron with "mama chef" written on it and most definitely has matching ones with you

you can hear the sound of music playing softly in the kitchen when you get home, lottie's loud humming making you smile after a rough day. tiredly kicking your shoes off and tossing your jacket on the floor, you shuffle into the kitchen and are greeted with the sight of lottie's back muscles as she dances and stirs something in a bowl. she's too into the music and dancing to hear you walk in, and you use the opportunity to lean against one of the counters to admire her. you watch her hips sway from side to side to the beat with the biggest grin on your lips, and you think you just have to take out your phone to record this. your heart bursts about a million times watching her nod along to the song, and you almost blow your cover when she tastes the batter and starts talking to herself about how good it is. after shoving your phone in your pocket, you walk up behind her and grasp her hips, moving along with her. "what're you making?" you mumble, laughing at her slight sound of surprise. she sets the spoon down and turns in your arms to give you a welcome home kiss that makes you breathless when she pulls away. "i went to the store while you were at work and got some cupcake mix." she responds. she trails her nails up and down your arms while you mess with her apron, still humming along to the song.

she teaches you how to steal for sure. encourages it even. she's aghast when you tell her that you didn't know most items wouldn't even beep if you stole it (....me) and takes you to a mall to test your skills. maybe it's the same mall she used to steal from at tj maxx and she still knows her way around and it's kind of hot that she knows where all the security cameras are. rewards you with a kiss when you succesfully steal something and uses her charisma (and money) to get you out of trouble if you get caught

lottie x gamer!reader. you get special privileges at the compound and are the only person allowed technology. she'll order you that 2k pc that you need to play minecraft on, trust. you get your own gaming room in the space she stays at and she helps you buy decorations for it, especially if you stream. she gets you this light for your door to let her know if you're streaming or not because she loves barging in unannounced. doing those couple youtube video where you ask each other questions or do the girlfriend tag lmfao. having her read out comments about her like thirst tweets,, she makes sure to let them know she's spoken for. if you're a big enough streamer, you definitely take her to twitchcon or whatever big con you're invited to! she gets to meet all your streaming buddies, loves watching you interact with your fans, loves when ppl recognize her and ask for pictures with her, and i think she'd be the one recording the trip for your youtube vlog/stream. also ur number 1 supporter,, she comments on everything including your tweets and insta posts.

im forever spreading the transfem lottie agenda, so i have to add doing her estrogen shot for her. sometimes she's so busy with the compound and forgets to do it that week, so while she's reading out people's gratitude cards to you, you prep her thigh and do her shot.

working at the compound with her, not seeing her for hours because you're both busy attending to people, and when you finally meet up you two just kiss and hug until you have to go back. bringing her some of the food from the cafeteria because you know she probably hasn't eaten today. she's very clingy some days and asks you to just stick with her all day. just got a vision of her holding your hand while talking w someone and jerking it everywhere because she speaks with her hands. lottie using you for demonstration purposes for her theraputic rituals because you're perfect.

also ^ surprising her with a cat you found on the side of the road when driving back to the compound. letting it roam around because the compound is so big but it gets lost one day and you're devastated. she goes out at night to look for it while you're in bed and is so upset when she has to tell you that she found nothing. eventually, it comes back though, and she pampers the shit out of it. and you tbh. she's just happy that you're happy again.

getting a nice cozy apartment together after they seize her compound. you probably were the one to tell her they took her community because she was in a mental facility at the time. going with her to pack things up and giving her time to say goodbye to everything. moving in with her and lazing around for like a day or two on some blowup beds before putting your asses to work.

lottie little spoon!!! she needs to feel your arms wrapped around her to sleep comfortably at night

lottie meeting your parents. kinda nervous but kinda cocky at how shocked they are at her age. prolly brings the best and most expensive wine to get herself on their good side. she stays the night and she makes fun of your childhood bedroom smh.

i know she'd be the best gf ever i wanna take care of her and be her controversially younger butch.

[returnofeternity]

post rescue with lottie (where u were both in the wilderness) but knowing that lottie most likely didn't want to be rescued at all... oof..... u have to basically drag her to the helicopters or whatever once rescue arrives, all while she's mumbling something about how they aren't supposed to be there, we're supposed to stay, this isn't what It wants, etc.

you're so used to shushing her and trying to calm her down that the minute she goes silent, your heart drops. as you get closer to civilization it's like she's just completely shut off. when you get to the hospital, you get separated as they try and get everyone to rooms and given new clothes and such, but you immediately start wandering the halls looking for lottie.

you're so relieved when you find her, but she doesn't even seem to react or acknowledge you at all when you get there. you guide her into the bathroom of her room and start up the shower, since it seems she's not going to do it herself. scrubbing her off and washing her hair with the stock bottles they gave you before you do yourself and dressing her in the new clothes. God i can't even imagine how relieving it would be to get a Real shower after that long bathing in the river and lake 😭

thinking about setting up a little alter for her in you're backyard when you're home to try and cheer her up a bit once she's a little more lucid ☹️ of course it's not the same, it never will be, but she's So appreciative, giving you a soft little smile and hugging you before going to sit infront of it as the sun sets and she just looks so pretty.. you start to regret it tho cuz she starts spending all her time out there you have to bring her meals outside for her 😭

-🍊

· · 𐂂 · ·

you just feel the biggest weight lift off your shoulders when you hear the helicopter because holy fuck, you're finally going home. lottie, however, feels the weight on her shoulders. she doesn't wanna leave and probably goes as far as to try to convince you to run with her. you're crying as you drag her by her jacket, shushing her own cries and whines about how the rescue team is gonna ruin everything for you two. the rescue team ends up grabbing you and lottie and pushing you in the helicopter, and you shush her and hold her hand so tightly as you wait for some of the other girls who can fit on, just so fucking happy that you're going back home.

something inside her just shuts off the second you guys leave the wilderness. it's almost jarring not to hear her painful sobs anymore. you keep trying to talk to her, asking her if she's okay, but she just stares off into space and ignores you. not like she can hear you anyway. you just keep rubbing her hand for your own comfort and end up falling asleep on her shoulder before arriving at the hospital. she's still awake and staring blankly in front of her when the rescue team unbuckles you guys and leads you off the helicopter and into the hospital. you keep calling out for her, trying to shove the guy holding your arm and telling him to wait for lottie so you can walk beside her, but you eventually get separated.

you ask and ask about where lottie is but no one answers you as they get you situated. you feel bad about falling asleep but you're so tired and it feels amazing to finally fucking sleep in a real bed despite it being somewhat stiff. the second you're up, you're peeling off your IVs and sneaking out to look for lottie. your heart sinks so much when you find her and when she doesn't even acknowledge someone came into her room. she's just staring again.

"lott?" you whisper, your voice scratchy and in need of some water. "lottie?"

you walk up to her bed, stomach sinking at how miserable she looks. gently, you reach out to touch her wrist, eyes darting to her face for any sign of recognition that you're there. she doesn't move at all. you have to stare at her chest for a few moments to make sure she's even breathing. you feel just a bit better when you see it rise and fall, but you're still worried.

looking around her room, you spot another door that leads to a bathroom and decide that you could help her wash up. god, you need to wash up. maybe you'll do it here.

taking lottie's hand in yours, you guide her to sit up and carefully lead her over to the bathroom. "gonna wash you, okay?" she doesn't respond as you close the toilet lid and sit her down on it. "did they give you new clothes?"

there was a little bit of hope in your chest that she would answer you. you swallow sadly when she keeps looking past your shoulder, and you mumble that you'll be back as you jog to her room and search for clothes you could put her in.

you place them down on the corner of the sink and start the shower, looking over to lottie as you run your hand under the water to test the temperature every so often. once it reaches a good enough heat, you stand lottie up and begin stripping her. you almost feel like you have to hold her up because she's so out of it, but when you let go for a few moments to go fetch the shampoo and conditioner, she's able to stand up by herself.

"feels good, yeah?" you mumble to lottie, rinsing her hair with hot water. "beats the shitty lake water."

you feel a spike of embarrament and guilt wash over you as you talk about the wilderness, knowing full well how much lottie wanted to stay there with you. but, fuck, you're so happy to be home despite how much lottie isn't.

you end up washing yourself after you do her, moving her to the side as you spend almost 10 minutes under that shower head, soaking in the clean, hot water before you gather yourself and actually wash up.

after, you dress her and you before leading her back to her bed, getting scolded at by her nurse when she catches you out of your room.

· · 𐂂 · ·

you fear you sound crazy as shit when you ask your parents to cut down this tree in your backyard so lottie can have her altar (you dont mention the altar) but they're so happy to have you back that they just do it with glee. she definitely carves the wilderness symbol in it for SURE. you can find her there early mornings or nights when she can't sleep, touching the symbol and mumbling to the wilderness about how she's losing touch with It :( you always just plop down beside her, rubbing shoulders with her as she prays to the wilderness and pretending that you're praying along when you're really falling asleep...

having to feed her sometimes because she's just out there staring and touching the altar :( but you kinda like these outdoor meals with her. thinking of trying to set up a lil campfire one night and roasting marshmellows with her, trying to remind her of the wilderness or smth.

lottie who still brings 'offerings' to the altar :( having to bandage her hand from time to time because she does blood offerings so often, finding items belonging to you and her, etc...

[returnofeternity]

for a request i was wondering if you could do a tfem lottie fic of your guys first time having sex

(tmasc reader)

things have been getting more intense between you two in the bedroom, and she knows she's ready, and she knows you're ready, but she wants it to be special instead of an 'in the moment' type thing. she's definitely had to claw at your arms while telling you to stop grinding against her so she can control herself and not cum.

i can see her making you dinner that night, already half tenting as you giggle and kiss her neck and call her a gentlewoman for setting everything up. god, she's so excited for it. eating gets her even more excited somehow. just feeling the hot food run down her throat and into her stomach has her body heating up and nothing helps as she watches you lick the fork, mind wandering elsewhere.

i also love the idea of lottie waiting until you're at your horniest because of your tshot 😵‍💫😵‍💫 she knows your hormones are all over the place which is good for her because she wants to make love to you for as long as possible. gets her feelin' a little woozy and crazy when she starts initiating everything, coming up behind you as you put away your dishes, and sniffs your neck, that musk you get whenever you're due for a shot hitting her nostrils. at this point, she's fully hard, and you can feel her boner against your ass as she kisses your neck.

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"i was gonna make it special," lottie begins, mumbling against your neck, dragging her teeth along your skin. "but i don't think i can make it back to the bedroom."

you smile lazily while enjoying the feeling of lottie's fangs against your pulse point, her warm hands squeezing the sides of your stomach as she pulls you closer against her front to grind into your ass.

"you better make it." you half-moan, half-whisper when she snaps her hips harder. turning around in her grip, you dig your nails into her shoulders as you stare at her blissed out face, eyes darting down to her mouth when her tongue swipes at her lips. you bring her in for a long kiss before pulling away and leading her to the bedroom.

lottie awkwardly collapses onto your body as she attempts to take off your clothes and push you onto the bed at the same time, your lower half dangling off as she practically sits on you. both of you giggle at how desperate you are and she gets up, tucking a piece of her black hair behind her ear and swallowing down hard.

"undress yourself for me." she tells you, hand on her own zipper, waiting for you. she's already gotten your shirt off, so all that's left is your binder and undergarments.

she watches as you throw off your binder and kick off your pants, mouth opening in a gasp when she notices the wet spot on your boxers. you lift your ass up off the bed and slide them down, kicking them off toward lottie. they reach her feet, and she grasps at her bulge, and it's like a switch went off in her mind because the next thing you know, she's yanking down her pants and underwear and hiking you up higher on the bed, settling herself between you.

your eyes widen at her sudden movements and you clutch her shoulders, breath shuddering when you feel her leaking tip poke against your own hardening clit.

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she spends a good hour eating you out before even penetrating you, and you're legit twitching like a dead cockroach by the time she starts entering you. she loves it. especially because she can feel how you clench around her tip but goddd it's making it so hard to not cum right then and there. she's groaning and struggling to catch her breath as she sinks in inch by inch, giving you time to adjust to her length. i think it'd be so cute if she had to pull out quickly to cum on your stomach because she just couldn't last 😭

it's just lovemaking after that; sloppy strokes and humping while she's inside of you, making out for hours and hours until you turn her over and start riding her. she guides your hips and tells you how good you're doing!!! kind of hugging each other as you ride her and lotie kissing your shoulder repeatedly while moaning in your ear 😊

aftercare though :( after your cuddle session, she's carrying a tired you to the bathroom and giving you a nice bubble bath. definitely makes fun of how your knees wobble and how ur thighs still shake and asks if she was good 😭

[returnofeternity]

helloo, hope you're doing well! was wondering if you have any thoughts about joining adult!lottie's community and eventually becoming her assistant ^^

joining lottie's community and becoming her assistant

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she's immediately intrigued by you and takes it upon herself to show you around the compound instead of having one of her acolytes do it. she answers any questions you might have and reassures you that you're free to leave whenever you want when she senses your nervousness. though, she tells you that running away from your problems won't help (she wants you to stay).

she's knocking on your door at the ass crack of dawn, eager to introduce you to all the different activities and support groups. she gives you your heliotrope clothes (after correcting you calling it purple) and that wilderness pendant. after showing you a bunch of different flyers for groups, she asks if there's any group that you would like her to form because she just wants you to feel included. e.g., a support group for anxiety, autism, transgender individuals, and stuff like that!

she always makes it a point to wave and smiles at you when you two cross paths during activities or when you're just outside and she's busy.

i would hate to be the shy person in her cult i mean community because you know she picks the shyest people to come and speak during support group sessions. that’s probably how she became attached to you. maybe you’re not that shy but either way, you didn't like to participate in these sessions and she always made sure to try and include you one way or another. always giving you A Look after the session, "accidentally" bumping into you outside and mentioning she still hasn't heard from you in the group which makes her sad, lottie who uses you as an example in these sessions or even rituals therapeutic treatments she does because you're new. something like how good behavior gets rewarded because you're so obedient, or using you to talk about how it's not good to keep things inside :/

she brings you lunch sometimes too! she always asks you if you've eaten and that there's good stuff in the cafeteria but you forget at times :/ or maybe you just don't like what's in the cafeteria and she tells you not to tell anyone else as she orders you some doordash 😭

you quickly become her favorite.

something about you just pulled her in. maybe it's like what she felt with callie where she senses something inside of you and she wants to bring that fire out in you. she wants to be closer, so she makes you her assistant.

she asks you first of course, but you know she already has everything ready and i like to think that her assistant would wear a special type of clothing to stand out. still heliotrope of course, but whatever you're comfortable with, she makes do and personalizes it for you.

honestly, nothing really changes in your relationship with her except the fact that you're around her almost 24/7 now instead of only seeing her at group sessions.

does she really need an assistant? not really. but she likes having you close to her and likes seeing you work and get more involved now that it's kind of your job. also, she kinda likes teasing you when you get an ingredient wrong in her smoothies or when you forget something in the sandwich she sent you to get.

she loves hearing your ideas for bettering the community! have an idea of a new theraputic treatment? she's all ears. she loves going back and forth talking about it, sometimes you end up staying late at her place and she tells you to just sleep over because it’s so late.

assistant trips with her!! going out to farmers markets and getting produce for the community, lottie being protective and making sure you’re always by her side. she’s well known at some of the markets and she introduces you as her assistant for the first time to one of the girls she’s familiar with, definitely praising the shit out of you and enjoying how much you’re blushing.

being the one to make phone calls for her and sometimes asking what you should say A Lot of times because you have no idea. perhaps a bit too self indulgent, but lottie who gives you a script of things to say for certain phone calls to make it easier on you.

basically being paraded around by lottie. she tries not to show favoritism at the community but you’re just the best. “lovely assistant” this “gorgeous assistant” that. when the rest of the girls get there i know they’re tired of hearing about you….

speaking of, thinking about taking care of lottie after the whole shooting incident. unfortunately, and no matter how much you begged the police, she wasn’t allowed to come stay with you afterward. she was sent to some facility and even though her community is no more, you still act as her assistant. you visit her as often as you can, bringing in some letters you asked her acolytes to write her to cheer her up.