#lots of unnecessary suffering
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I have been thinking about merrill's arc and mission in da2 and how some people think she is right (me) and others that she is in the wrong but it doesnt even matter. If she is wrong she is not listening to her clan wishes and playing with dangerous magic she doesnt understand and would had get possesed by a demon and tragically died doing a mission no one wanted her to do. If she is right she still lost a person she cared about For No Fucking Reason except that she didnt trust her, got rejected by her clan for trying to help them when they were the thing she cares the most.
We know the evanuris work but we dont know if the spirit/demon merrill was gonna ask for help would actually help or not... and we will never know probably... but in the end i am very very sad for merrill
#in one hand i actually really like how divisive da2 charas are and how u can read the situation in different ways#in other hand some people lack nuance and throw a lot of unnecessary shit about merrill. my girl doesnt deserve this#anyways do u lie awake at night thinking about her cause i do#if she loses her whole clan is sadder but if she gets rejected by them all is still lild Gosh#ugghhhhh#im just here . im a simple girl. suffering#for merrill my beloved#merrill#da2#dragon age
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Ggrrr I wish disenchantment was better. I binged it all because I'm sick somebody talk to me about this.
#the groening show on netflix#it had so much potential#and i did enjoy it!!! plenty of the characters were awesome#but it tried to be too big. wanted to incorporate too much. i didn't like beans magic. it got really repetitive#it felt like a lot of the movement between “lands” was super unnecessary. and took up a lot of time that could have been used in narrative#development#and you know the most fucked up part is that there was a Canon wlw couple that was end game AND I DIDNT EVEN LIKE THEM TOGETHERRR#and the last seasons egregious hyperfocus on love specifically romantic love like#it was cringe im sorry!!! not great writing#im glad beans relationship w her dad got better but i didnt like how instantanious it felt#also obv. i hate the whole thing with prince derek and his pixie gf. ew. really weird#but there was so much good and it couldve been great#i still enjoyed it but it fell short in so many ways#HOW DO YOU HAVE A QUEER GIRL COUPLE THAT I DONT LIKE!!! ME!!! QUEER GIRL NUMBER 1!!!!!!#i like EVERY WLW SHIP#and mora x bean had potential but like#it seemed a lot of the time liek they didnt even really like eachother. they aggravated tf out of eachother and not in like a hehe gay ppl#who bicker type of way. it was very much lesbian couple written by straight man feeling. idk if thats true but its the vibe i got#to the end im sad elfo never really actionably got over his weird thing about bean. he just said he did#and him and miri/mop girl. ehhhhh#i like her but she should have had a more gradual introduction into the main cast because she really feels like an after thought#glad zog moved to the woods that seemed like the right move#bean kinda handing the kingdom off to the elves kinda felt like a cop out after thought#like she got all weird about this is their kingdom we stole it from them and then only rwally gave it up after she got something that she#wanted more#please let me remake this show!!!!!!!!#also steam land!!! i like the concept but the execution and the travellimg back and forth between the two#the biggest issue this show suffered with though was repetition.#animation was fun. i enjoyed the use of 3d especially in later seasons#a lot of the jokes were funny but a lot just fell short.
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One of these days I had my powerful 3-whole-hours of sleep. My dear littlest cousin decided, then, to show me a ... Skibidy Toilet (I think that's what it's called) video.
I did not understand a single thing he showed me as I was sitting there, nodding and musing the best smile I could as I was a blink away of plop into the ground.
I just know that I feel so privileged... This little kid trusts me enough to show me something he enjoys. He wanted to enjoy something he likes with me.
I can't possibly imagine myself doing that with any of my older cousins nor siblings because they would, FOR SURE, make fun of every aspect of it. Has happened already, comedy.
It can be the "cringest cringe to ever cringe" for all I care, he can ramble about it for hours if he wants, I'm here to listen. I'll ask questions and very much enjoy the entire conversation.
Come one, everyone had a "cringe" phase.
(I die everytime I remember what I did when I was younger).
People still consider fandoms, fics and shipping characters as cringe-. I have absolutely no right to criticize here.
And.
Again.
He's a kid. He's happy, having fun, and no one's getting hurt. Let's keep it that way.
But, for the love of God, can someone explain to me what is going on-?. I genuinely don't get it.
Btw I think I ended up venting in the tags-lmao.
#gen alpha#generational differences#cringe culture is dead#cringe culture is stupid#let kids be kids#cringe culture is over#generational healing#does it count?#idk#anyway#i love my cousin#he's so much like me when I was his age- which makes me wanna protect him at all costs and hopefully help him avoid all the unnecessary#suffering i wemt through#have I mentioned that my mom saw a lot of neurodivergent symptoms in me but didn't get me diagnosed because everyone was like nooo that kid#is so smart and happy and cute- how would this kid ever be something if not perfect???#and now that SAME THING is happening to my cousin- he is most likely a neurodivergent kid- his mom wants to get him diagnosed but everyone#else except my mom and me are like nOOo but he's okay he's not doing bad at school he's nOrMAL#that's infuriating#another reason for me to be there because even if he's his own person and HOPEFULLY he doesn't experience the things I had to go through#I do want him to know that there's someone willing to listen- someone that gets what is like- not just the being neurodivergent- but being#a gifted kid#being a 'perfect scores responsible little miss/mister perfect'#I've walked on those shoes and they're not comfortable#long post
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lmao the vibes from last night after the show
#just me#it all worked out in the end I guess#even though they put me through a lot of very unnecessary suffering
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I think it's also important people know they can think like a judgmental twat, but not act like a judgmental twat.
#personal#humanity#morality#honestly think whatever fucked up shit you might think#lots of our brains are just monkey thoughts#don't guilt yourself over your THOUGHTS#but understand just because you may think something - doesn't mean you should do it#you could be very annoyed online at the grocery - its valid even - busy schedules - anxieties and all#but don't start yelling at the cashier cause YOURE having a bad day#don't take it out on your friends or family either#your behavior is what matters and you can think all the most positive supposedly moral things in your head#but if you act like a piece of shit and do harm - you're thoughts arent valuable#youre just virtue signaling#also for the people who suffer intrusive thoughts - you're not evil or harmful or dangerous#thinking is not the same as doing#demonizing our inner selves is any easy step to unnecessary self loathing#and always make time to learn and grow - if you're feeling a certain way - check to see some forums - learn about your responses
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Oh wow. When people said live action Mulan wasn't very good, I didn't think they meant it like that
#a lot of good actors suffered in this movie#it wouldn't be so bad if the writers admitted they wanted a drama#that would be awesome#instead we get something that's not a good action movie OR a drama#also from a craft perspective i am appalled#we did not need mulan getting lost on the way to camp#it's totally unnecessary! we don't need to see it!#(but it's really bad. the script is so. wooden.)
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omfg the logistics of s.t.a.r.s. makes me sick. like there is absolutely no need for them to work for 24 hours 7 days a week for what they are. in my mind it would be that alpha have the day shift and bravo have the night one but even then like. it makes no sense. because they would be 12 hour shifts... every day... that's. no.
#leah.txt#capcom i need you to fix this bullshit just for my brain#like omfg. can you image. 6am to 6pm or something. that's hell. like i know jobs have 12 hour shifts i know this but they don't go for#SEVEN DAYS IN A ROW#there are off days....#funny though cause the rest of stars are suffering with that but then there's wesker who not only has to do this but he has the job duties#of being the captain for alpha team and basically commander overall BUT ALSO he's the chief of security at umbrella. like. he doesn't sleep#i feel like surely they'd have like weekends Off but they are still on call if things happen?? who knows. cause 7 days... no... like even 5#days of 12 hours isn't right so it's wild#idk how this makes sense at all but augh#OMFG I JUST READ IT AGAIN AND NO. its 24 hours for one team and then they switch.......... NO. NUH UH. THAT'S.... no.#it's literally unnecessary for what they are and the skills the attention they would need for tasks. changing after 12 hours makes more#sense and even that's a lot so. capcom please explain the logic behind this to me. true story behind biohazard book please explain this.#''these two teams work in shifts. one day each. in other words alpha team works a 24-hour shift for a day followed by bravo team''#i have some safety concerns with this#oh reading this and just some casual misogny thrown in there once again. capcom it's literally unnecessary to keep doing these throw#away lines. like no one was thinking that so why did you say it??#anyways this is bullshit lmaooo can i redesign the stars work hours please?#just for what they do i don't think 24 hours makes sense to keep someone awake that long when they need to be alert and such but what#do i know ougoughg#i mean a lot of stuff in this book manual thingy have been retconned but it's so wild
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i do sometimes wonder why people say "shock value" as though it has no actual value. as though there is nothing to be said in what shocks you, as though we all agree the same things are shocking, as though the unexpected disgust or discomfort is of no value in and of itself. as though we can't use an emotional ice bath from time to time to remind ourselves we still CAN be shocked. i especially see this in the horror community, and it's like... some things aren't meant to make it scarrier. sometimes it's to make it Sadder, or more disgusting, or make it clear just how far from morality our cast has fallen. and i have to wonder if part of it is that you DO get comfortable with horror, eventually, when you spent a lot of time there. but there's still things that you don't want to come across; stuff you aren't here for. stuff that still unnerves you in a way that *isn't* fun. if you got used to enjoying the gruesome, but only on your own terms; if you never did confront the part of you that rejects anything that makes you viscerally, genuinely wigged out. and calling it "shock value" is, in a way, admitting that intention. that it was supposed to make you feel that way. that THAT was the value of its inclusion; to 'shock' you. what's so invaluable about that? what is it about being reminded of those parts of life that makes you feel they're "not being taken seriously" if you're not given a 3000 page exploration of it? why, in a world where you readily engage in horrific things happening to people who didn't deserve it and beloved faces become grim as they're forced to become bad people, is THIS too far for you?
and why is your squick specifically indicitive of bad writing?
#being vague cus it's kind of a wide pet peeve of mine that covers a lot of stuff#but i am mostly thinking of SA depictions and 'unnecessary gore' and major grossout.#like damn everybody is contorting into these horrific creatures and watching their loved ones suffer with no sure#but the lady getting forcibly pregnant was too much for you. THAT little bit of body horror isn't allowed. okay.#fine with them peeling apart with rott but the vomit was too far. i see.#rambles#write whatever you want man just research it if you have no personal experience
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i just took my night dose of steroids and my horrible, horrible muscle relaxer that i hate and do not want to take, so let's see how much i can get done in thirty minutes, yeah?
#i can't put pressure on the base of MC1 or i get very upset because it hurts a lot so it's a good idea so i know THAT but damn#damn if it doesn't make me so tired AND bad at sleeping and damn if it doesn't make me piss weird#and also i think it's unnecessary. i could suffer through. gimme a brace and some nsaids.#unfortunately i did fuck up my hand pretty badly so it's kinda needed i guess
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hello might i ask for sassy badass reckless reader who is the #1 leading cause of aaron's gray hairs pls 🤞🏻 he is SO exasperated with her like he is TIRED™ but also tweaking bcs he's horrendously down bad for her he's gna throw up
Good morning. I hope you slept well, honey. Can you come to work early, say 6.10AM? I’d like to see you and talk about something in person.
You squint at the text that’s just come through. Another follows as you’re finishing, lighting the dark of your room.
I love you. Sorry, I know you don’t like when I forget to tell you in the mornings.
Your own response is sent without propriety. I love you too handsome. 6.10 is not gonna work.
Can you make an effort for me? he asks.
You do your very best.
“It’s almost seven,” Hotch says when you finally get there that morning, his frown audible and plain to see.
You hold up the bag of sugar donuts you’d purchased from the truck on the square just outside of Quantico’s endless parking lots. “Necessary delay.”
“Unnecessary. I asked you nicely to come early and you’re barely on time,” he grumbles.
How adorable. You put the bag of donuts on the desk and ignore the paperwork laid out waiting for you in favour of his side of the desk. He smells like cedar, his suit sleeve starched under your hand. You lean back against the lip of his desk and pretend you hadn’t been thinking about climbing into his lap —he’s formidable and lovely and that’s the best combination for lounging about atop someone, especially when that someone is very good at pressing you backwards, and better at kissing your neck.
He knows what you’re thinking. “You’ve woken up in a mood,” he murmurs.
“A good one,” you promise.
You take his coffee and steal a sip. Hotch, resigned, lays a hand on your thigh. “I have important things to talk about, you know? I thought I made that clear this morning.”
“You made a couple of things clear.”
“Don’t say it like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like I…” He tilts his head to the side. “Like I’ve been sending you dirty texts or photos.”
“Is that an option? I don’t think I’ve subscribed to those emails.”
“You make me out to be this salacious lark–”
“Aaron, I don’t do anything of the sort.” You can hardly hold back a laugh. “I’m sorry I implied you were sexting me, okay? I wish you had been.” He sighs a long-suffering sigh as you carry on. “But you were very formal. I’ll be sure to tell HR the same thing.”
His hand slips between your thighs. Nowhere it shouldn’t be, just trapped between soft flesh. “Don’t tell HR anything.”
His coffee is lukewarm and unsweetened on your tongue. Would it kill your uptight love to add just a dash of cream and sugar? Wrinkling your nose, you set aside the mug and press your mildly heated hand to his cheek. Just quickly, brushing a thumb up to the skin below his eye before you let it fall. “Tell me what you wanted me to come in early for. And, for the record, I’m sorry for not trying to get here before, just I didn’t sleep well, and my neck hurt too much to rush.”
He looks like he wants to ignore your apology. He doesn’t ask you for much, and showing up when he’d wanted you to would’ve been the kinder thing to do —he can be annoyed as both boss or boyfriend.
But he doesn’t have it in him.
“Why didn’t you sleep?” he asks softly.
“Thinking too much about my nice boyfriend.”
“Really?”
You slouch a little. Cover his hand where it rests between your legs. “I don’t know. It was really hot, and my mattress is getting old, probably.”
He ushers you down for a sympathetic kiss. He’s always so sorry to hear about your minor ailments, he must like you too much.
You attempt to crawl into his lap, curling an arm behind his head. He, disgruntled and yet far from reluctant, lets you take a seat.
#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner x you#aaron hotchner x y/n#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner fic#aaron hotchner blurb#aaron hotchner drabble#aaron hotchner imagine#aaron hotchner fanfic#aaron hotchner fanfiction#hotch x reader#hotch#hotch x you#hotch blurb#hotch drabble#criminal minds
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if you're gonna have a weird unnecessary harem situation at least have some variety in there. like it can't all be jealous girls put some jealous guys in there too
#harem trope#tbh i kind of hate the harem trope#usually reverse harems too but i feel like those are done better more often so sometimes theyre ok#there's just so many girls (because it's always a guy and yk heteronormacy)#who like this totally average guy#he can be op in one way or another#but a lot of the time either his personality sucks or he's weak (often he's both regular nice and really strong tho)#and at 90% of the girls he meets fall head over heels for him for no particular reason#often dubious morality like a huge age gap or something is there too#and they're almost always super jealous of each other and way to conscious about him coming into contact with other girls#and if they're not jealous then they're like 'we'll share him I'll be glad to be his concubine 💕'#which is usually more tolerable than extreme jealousy#but also has weird vibes for stereotyping and objectification of women girls etc.#anyways yeah#i happen to like a genre that often has a lot of these harem trope things#i suffer every day#i cannot tell you how many series i have quit reading because i just couldn't stand the unnecessary weird harem thing#i cheer every time i become certain it's monogamous#and there is a defined love interest#not even because i hate polygamy i actually was polyamorous questioning for a long time#(until i figured out im aroace and just like having friends)#it's just that the non-monogamy is always weird and unbalanced because it's a super shallow harem situation#idc if your romance is a little shallow but at some point it's just objectification#anyways yeah if you're gonna make everyone pointlessly fall in love with a random average guy#then at least make one non-hetero serious pursuer of romance#and by serious i mean not like purely sex-focused or there as a gag#like being a ridiculous admirer of the random guy's muscles#that's one i think i actually see a lot#i mean but if he's so incredibly attractive that every female in the world is in love with him#then there's gotta be at least one gay person who thinks he's really hot right?
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mamma mia
#pollen#dear god#tw me i guess im suffering fr#mdzs#i dont think any of this counts as spoilers for once. was gonna draw something relecant to the books but honestly i just wanted to casual d#i wanted to casually draw again. i have been so stressed and busy lol#literally perishing#also the day i draw lwj seriously is the day... well something will happen probably#i started drawing rabbits bcs of these idiots and. honeslty. i like rabbits so .#also i have seen the fox fics on ao3. monsters the lot of you. i read them but none of you are free from sin#god i miss them tho. i havent read any content for these fools in a solid bit and god i miss them#also the 2023 glasses were completely unnecessary but like i want rhem so badly they look so dumb i wan t#consider these warm-ups. mostly bcs again let me reiterate i have not drawn that much in a while so if these DO look stinky do not blame t#that on me i am absolved of crime and sin. i am a free man#also sorry for the mammia mia comments i literslly have no other jokes to make#“here we go again”
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I see a lot of comments and posts from some people on Twitter, TikTok, etc., saying and belittling Caitlyn's trauma by saying that she is an adult and rich. Even if she lived a relatively quiet life, she always felt different when she was young, or as Cait said to Jayce in episode 2, she was "Misfit Too".
And let's not forget that in just two or three days she went through the worst experience in her life because of Jinx who kidnapped and tried to kill her several times.
But aside from all this there is an important thing, why are they comparing her loss to the loss of Vi and Jinx, I mean what is the point of this!? To say that Cait is overreacting to the death of her mother or her people.
They are really crazy. Every character in Arcane has suffered in some way and we can't diminish any of them, like when I see people comparing Vi and Jinx's suffering and saying Jinx suffered more or the opposite, all this is to diminish a character you don't like. Especially since these comparisons are unnecessary and not the purpose of the show!!
I get really annoyed when some fans do this to a lot of the shows and movies I watch. Seriously what the hell is the point of this?
#You can see in my posts when I talk about characters I never belittle them for the sake of another character. Because that's unfair.#I'm never saying that Jinx didn't suffer. Even though she's not my favorite character. but I don't underestimate her.#But I hate people who do that bc they don't like characters or want to lessen their trauma.#vi#vi arcane#caitlyn#caitlyn kiramman#jinx#jinx arcane#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane league of legends#caitvi#piltoversfinest#violyn#league of legends#arcane netflix#arcane season 1#..
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— ☆ “INTERLOCK YOUR LIPS WITH MINE.”
#. — synopsis. imitating that of a lamb with his love-sick actions should’ve gotten anyone sick to catch the slightest glimpse of his foolish grin, yet he’s way too blind to plainly realize that when his nimble fingers are so tenderly intertwined with yours, isn’t he?
#. — content warning! woah, barely any and none at all. first kiss, lots of kissing, tongue n shit, away from prying eyes, frottage, dry humping, obsessive — male kylar, ‘angelic’ male reader and well, fuck. some pining and yearning as per usual, mostly on kylar’s part.
#. — word count? 3.5k.
#. — asher, please. shut the fuck up. : “shitty tribute to the loser who made me discover this sick ass game. your reward? a tongue deep down your throat, you little whore.”
Evidently speaking, the last of things Kylar should be gleefully content about is the undeniable fact that here you are, sat atop this cushioned mattress due to your sheer brashness, impulsivity that had landed you both straight into the nurse’s office. Or perhaps, you had initially intended for precisely this to happen, so that he may naturally tag along with you.
Confidently raising your hand amidst an important lesson in class, falsely claiming that the quivering freak here, miserably suffered of a stomach ache as if he truly had one, huh— carefully roping the poor boy in another one of your clever, little schemes. Immediately tugging onto one of his used sleeves with an innocent expression of your own, how you so seamlessly fool the teachers is beyond him, really.
Though, he does get the slightest idea that it’s either from your shockingly pristine reputation that others are inclined to openly favour you or, the angelic gaze you prettily bless anyone with when gazing in their direction. Easy to delve further into sinful temptation, including your boyish charms if a mere flutter of your eyelashes and quirk of your rosy lips renders someone so stupidly dumb like— well, him. And others, too. Forgot that unnecessary part.
A liar is how he intricately knew you best, after all. Not necessarily a widely spread title you should’ve worn proudly, but hey, who’s he to possibly complain when it meant he could finally, spend some much-needed, well-deserved quality time with his one and only, beloved? Even if through somewhat unethical means entailing that of muttering out plain falsehoods which coincidentally had long since then, slipped past his forgetful mind. No, who’s he to blame himself when you did it firstly, and he simply followed suit to your patient guidance? Imitating that of a lamb with his love-sick actions should’ve gotten anyone sick to catch the slightest glimpse of his foolish grin, yet he’s way too blind to plainly realize that when his nimble fingers are so tenderly intertwined with yours, isn’t he?
Easily distracted by your soothing presence dizzyingly close against his, discreetly hidden amongst the draped curtains that surrounded your sprawled frames within the otherwise desolate room. Save for you two and the absent nurse who’s somehow conveniently away on some unintended business in some other class closely residing nearby. And, ah— truly, you smell so fuckin’ good.. Would it be so bad if he were to subtly close the remaining distance between you both, steadily draw closer to sneakily steal a whiff of your pleasurably sweet scent?? Yeah, no. Damn it, Kylar— Get ahold of yourself. Surely, that’s borderline immoral if not downright creepy to satisfyingly indulge in your depraved instincts simmering beneath this carefully fabricated mask of timidness he’s built over himself. But.. It’s not like you’d actually notice, right?
Ah, who’s he kidding. Was this not your original plan to begin with? Sparing you and him, a moment of solitude to yourselves, the eerie, yet somewhat tranquil silence that had easily settled onto you two, majorly concealed by the rhythmic thudding of his pounding heart deep within his chest. The things you do to him, truly.. Which hopefully, you hadn’t caught ear of that humiliating display of his pure want for you, if not already, obviously shown by the blazing flush adorning the entirety of his face and, not to forget that one minute detail— aching cock securely tucked away beneath his ripped jeans, dying to be coated by the welcoming, warm heat of your tight hole. Hah, even your soft palm would do, at this point, really— he means it.
And if not for the noticeably sweet hitch in his breath when promptly interrupted by a single question you dote upon him, fluttering lashes and glimmering eyes so innocently peering up from below him as though you’re stupidly unaware of the intended effects you possess over the depraved freak. A mere command wistfully whispered out from your lips would be all he needs to readily obey in turn, but he manages to with some measly restraint lazily placed upon himself, in favour of listening to your ushered curiosity.
“Say, have you ever kissed anyone before, Ky?” Simplest of questions, really— that would require an affirmative response of either yes or no, yet he finds himself unable to properly answer when faced with that subtle tilt of your head. ‘Course you’d be crudely conscious of whether or not he had done so, wouldn’t you? Unless you’re dumbly feigning ignorance to the undeniable prospect that he is seen as nothing more than undesirable by most and rightfully so, actually.
Anyone who truly attends the local school of Oxford would’ve grown painfully aware of the humiliating fact that this loser, right here, could’ve been nothing more than a miserable virgin because who the hell in their right mind — would possibly want to lay their untouched hands, much less their precious lips upon his own? Not necessarily a factual rumour that realistically bothers him since it simply means he gets to solely concentrate his energy on you; His loveable darling, right?
Quick to frantically shake his head in retaliation to the uttered query, more or less due to the increasingly pleasurable realization as to why you’ve originally dragged him along here in the first place. You.. ah, you intend to grace him with a blessing of your own, surely so? Grant him the chance of a lifetime and graciously allow him to breathlessly press his chapped lips against your own unblemished ones. How he has desperately longed— no, yearned to do so for ages and here you are, selflessly offering yourself up to him like the sweet fruit of sin a feathered breath’s away from gratefully being savoured by his drooling maw. Yeah, he’s definitely not hurriedly jumping off to conclusions from the sole, albeit indiscernable hint that you idly inquired him with a hyper specific question tumbling forth from your lips, right? This is definitely not just some make-belief fantasy his fogged up, deluded mind dreamily decided to suddenly make up, right??
“N-No, I’ve.. never k-kissed anyone— before.” He replies, breathless and shaky. Voice quiet, small, sounding barely audible to the ears. Embarrassingly enough, stuttering off in his stifled speech, strung up in a series of incoherent nonsense he wishes to truly express. Scalding warmth creeping up the sides of his skin, spreading out like a wildfire out of control — to the point where he can feel the scarlet flush of red extensively growing all over. Mainly a question of his own as to why it’s him of all people you’re lovingly in contact with right now, tenderly clasping your hands together in an affectionate hold.
Ah, right— is this seriously happening? Not only is he preciously embracing you within his fragile grasp, but you’re also willingly choosing to peer so intimately close to him like this? Considering your well-beloved status, held in high regards by the entirety of the school, openly revered by the same students who don’t dare to glance twice in his direction nor accept him for his nervous oddity— it’s an.. interesting choice on your part. Not that he’s complaining, not at all!
However, he’d like to know if you had, before him. Anyone else who could’ve stolen such a gesture meant to be happily cherished, preserved for the right person who’d somehow come along. A person which he hopes is himself when it comes to you, curious eyes meeting your own underneath the mess of a fringe he doesn’t bother to brush out early in the morning. Tentative bite of his swollen lip, soon becoming bloody in the anxious act of chewing upon the sensitive flesh.
“Um… Have— Have you ever kissed anyone before?” Redirecting the spotlight onto you, maybe to soothe the growing anxieties burrowing deep within his pumping heart, anticipation dizzyingly occupying him in a held breath when awaiting for your eventual response in return. Honestly, if you had.. He wouldn’t entirely know what he’d do then.
“Me? Hm, no. I haven’t either. I’m saving it for a special someone.” Special someone. Yeah, that’s all his sluggish brain hazily registered from that answer, solely fixated on who— wait, could it be him? Are your coy, little hints subtly being dropped here and there, discreet glances sent his way when accompanied by the aversion of your eyes in a slight display of shared nervousness, meant for a loser like him of all people? That serene smile you habitually wear though is making the whole ‘figuring out’ part a bit difficult for him. And, as properly known by most, specially when he repeatedly echoes out to the school that you two are ‘boyfriends’, unaware of your fragile status at hand — he’s not exactly the best at picking up on subtle social cues being decisively shot towards him, either.
“O-Oh, so you’re.. You and I are the same.” Probably shouldn’t be gleefully filling him with such giddiness to know no crooked bastard didn’t steal your precious first kiss, solely meant for him, but it still does. Familiar, manic grin cracking upon his face, eagerly tugging at his lips the same way his shaky hands come to invasively paw along the hem of your school shirt. Lightly tussled with the tailored collar scandalously coming undone, just for him, right? And, he’s soooo lucky to be the only one to gaze upon you in such a disheveled state, least, he hopes so.
“That’s right, we’re the same. Isn’t that funny? Me, being the same as you — of all people too, but y’know.. that doesn’t really bother me actually.” If that was intended as an insult cruelly shot towards him then, the entirety of the punch-line or hinted implications thinly veiled at hand, had gone over his blurring head. No, no— all he’s acutely aware of is that here, the both of you are, in an otherwise isolated room without the annoyingly probable possibility that someone might mindlessly walk upon your perched frames, catch you in the.. uh, yeah, the act. Act of kissing.. each other?
Or, is that impulsively moving a tad bit too far? As much as a clumsy ditz he can be, at the worst of times too, this must mean something, no? Like the mere gesture of hastily hauling him along to the nurse’s office, a shitty excuse you promptly made up on the spot, to grant you two some privacy isn’t just originally meant to be spent for idle chatter, surely so? Simply fiddling his thumbs together won’t aid him in finding out either, so he might as well.. ask.
Swallowing down thickly the anxious lump annoyingly residing deep within his throat, skittish eyes evasively avoiding your sharp gaze boring into his own to at least, somewhat calm himself before precisely asking the lingering question that’s been hanging heavily upon his mind. That— well, god.. he’s never been really good with words, has he?
“Why’d you— Why did you lie to the teacher about me having a stomach ache and bring me here then?” Good. That’s pretty direct, isn’t it? Save for the droplets of sweat quickly accumulating along the edge of his forehead, noticeably trickling down the length of his heated cheeks as if it wasn’t painfully obvious enough on its own what a nerve-wracking mess he suddenly becomes within your presence. You’re just so— so… shit, he can’t possibly describe it! All he desires is confirmation at the moment, confirmation for your mutual sentiments towards each other.
“Oh, cmon. Don’t tell me you’re that clueless, are you?” Well, yes. He is. Subtle cock of your head, sweetest chuckle he’s ever heard along with that rather innocent smile you adopt when asked your self-evident intentions here. “Wow. You really are, huh. Isn’t it obvious? Why do you think I went through all the trouble of coming up with a little lie for you, give us some alone time together? I’m not that nice to anyone.”
Recognizable smile effortlessly shifting to that of a smirk, feathered breaths alarmingly close against his burning face as the distance between you both progressively shrinks down to barely any space entirety. “You see.. I need a bit of reassurance to soothe my anxieties, y’know. What I want is for you to prove your love to me. Right now.”
Thumping heart steadily increasing at an alarming rate, scarred fingers nimbly picking and fiddling with the loose threads hanging along his used hoodie. Prove his undying love to you? “P-Prove it?” Audibly gulping down before echoing out the previously uttered command. “How should I prove it?” Oh, anything. He’s willing to do anything for you. Without hesitance nor objection. Hell, you could ask him to jump off a building, and he’d do it in a heartbeat. Just — for the love of god, say it already — say what he needs to do to selflessly prove his inborn devotion precisely made for you.
“Kiss me.” Uttering it out so effortlessly, breathlessly and well, he’s not one to make you sorrowfully wait, is he?
Nodding vigorously, like the lovesick puppy that he is for you — already peering closer towards your sprawled frame in a held breath, slightest hitch and rhythmic thump! of his heart when he’s selflessly granted the opportunity to finally, fucking finally — steal your first kiss away from you.
And, hah— truly, he’s so grateful for your direct orders, y’know? Because without it, he’d basically be a sweating, quivering mess, not that he isn’t either, just that — his nimble hands, normally shaking with second-guesses wouldn’t be so confident in their movements, tenderly cupping at your smooth cheek within the cup of his palm as he breathlessly presses his needy lips upon your awaiting own. Oh. Oh, fucking god, how dizzyingly sweet you taste, a full-on body shudder immediately descending the entirety of his arched back, instantly bending forward to pin you down onto the squeaky mattress underneath you both.
Careful not to make the smallest of sounds however! Wouldn’t wanna be caught sloppily making out with the most popular student in school, or maybe he does.. Just to— ah, prove to those repulsive creeps shamelessly salivating over the mere sight of your figure, that you’re strictly off limits. His alone to greedily savour. Mine. His mind endlessly echoes as this continuously carries on, and he’s not one either to selfishly complain, is he?
Love you— Love you so much. Repetition drumming along his brain, however, it was clear this wasn’t going to be a one-time thing off the bat, not when you two were so desperately clinging onto each other like this. Fervently locking your lips together in a soundless kiss, hitched breath threatening to slip past yours if Kylar were to go any further — probably would though. Bad idea, yeah. Knew it was, but the mind numbingly good haze gradually washing over him as you both mutually caved in to your instinctual desires drew him in. Since it feels way too good to intimately be pressed against each other like this, openly whining down one another’s throat currently occupied by his. “I-I love you.” He murmurs, gasps against your mouth. Slick, wet tongue desperately sliding against his own, crudely sharing each other’s spits that yeah— he’ll probably be reminiscing upon later for certain.. purposes meant to be shared in an unoccupied stall of the school’s bathroom, pervertedly fisting his fat cock to the sheer memory of your addictive taste like a starving man, an utter freak.
Unable to help himself with the borderline pathetic whimper freely drawn out of his mouth, eyes easily slipping close to hungrily drink in yours too — rather subtle, faintly audible to the naked ear, but he still manages to catch it, catch the stifled whine, minor tremble in your perfect fingers instinctively finding themselves entangled within the mop of loose hair on his head. Tugging at the dark strands even, ah fuck.. His arms, already wrapped around your frame, tightening automatically to make sure you don’t somehow, escape from his clutched grasp. As if you could with the death-grip he’s withholding over you right now, practically digging in the white material of your school uniform, ruffling it all up for you to harshly reprimand him for later — not that it’s his actual initial concern here, really. Oh, if anything, he’s got something way better pleasurably keeping him busy.
“K-Kylar—“ Your incoherent mewls are just the cutest, y’know? Yes, yes, he’ll briefly apologize later for rudely cutting you off! But, something simple as a kiss when done with you, feels so fucking good — fuck, he might as well be cummin’ in his pant, which he sort of is with all the accumulated pre-cum messily dripping from his leaking tip, staining the elastic fabric all sticky in his ill-fitted jeans from precariously grinding your clothed erections together, seeking friction.
His hips involuntarily thrusting forward, or maybe intentionally — truly he’ll never admit to it! — instantly flushing at his salacious actions that, oh.. you’re a blubbering mess under him, heaving chest rhythmically puffing out before ultimately descending down to shakily exhale out a sigh. Cutest, erect buds blatantly visible underneath the rather thin fabric of your uniform, ones he’d like nothing more than to sloppily drool all over, savagely suckle on with a wet pop! of his tongue and leave his slippery mark there like some sort of— of, fucking madman.
Fuck, fuck fuck… if this keeps up, he’s bound to cream in his pants from a single kiss! Eyes automatically rolling to the back of his skull with every eager tug on his ripped sleeves, cock profusely leaking out slippery, warm pre to leave behind a trailing mess in his boxers. So fuckin’ whipped, downright enamoured by you that he’d be dying a happy man simply from having his longtime wish fulfilled, hidden desires fervently reciprocated by a lock of your lips upon his. All because of you — hah, you, darling. Don’t you realize the weight of his unending love for you by now?
Unfortunately though, as much as it would’ve been thoroughly appreciated to contentedly continue on like this, paired by the couple of gasping moans and wistful sighs collectively drawn forth from each other’s lips; One had to eventually be the one to pull away and you, of course, you were the first to reluctantly do so, drawing back slightly in a sloppy attempt to create some much needed space between your quivering bodies. Disheveled hair carelessly brushed aside to display the scarlet flush of your cheeks accompanied by dazed eyes hidden beneath the fluttering of your lashes.
Nearly whimpering when you effectively slip back for air, clutched fingers instinctively chasing after your retreating figure as though he was merely nothing without it. Which, he sort of is, pleading gaze and pouty lips sinfully directed to your decisive move, slumping back miserably once you’re out of his clawing reach. “A-Ah, don’t go.. I mean! Was — Was it good? Did I do okay?” He asks sheepishly, pink tongue experimentally swiping along his bottom lip to lick it clean, wild, green eyes flicking downwards to your kiss-swollen lips before hurriedly darting away. Seeking for your judgement and approval as per usual. How typical of him, huh.
“You— ah, you did, actually.” Catching your breath, looking so damn pretty when your usually flawless composure is crumbled along with his. He wants to break it till you’re a crying mess, really. “God, I didn’t know someone could kiss like that. You sure this is your first time, Kylar?” Don’t tease him like that! ‘Course it is, how could it ever be anyone but you??
“Y-Yeah, you’re my first— first kiss.” A confirmation to your question, meek nod of his head as he now wonders what exactly is there left to be said after such a heated encounter, but as always, you’re the one to make the first move — a step ahead of him every single time and, honestly, he loves you for it.
“Wanna kiss me again?”
Who’s he to not oblige to your every whim anyway? He’s only Kylar. The school freak. Absolute loser in town and the one you’re also, pervertedly sharing spit with too.
Guess he won’t have to creepily suckle on the tip of the chewed straw from your strawberry milkshake you normally sip at during lunch then. Since his lips will find themselves far more busy with something else later.
And by the sultry look you adopt, regarding him carefully with a quirk of your lips — he’s getting the slightest idea that maybe, his time will be better spent in the nurse’s office from now on, hasty kisses sneakily shared underneath the cooling shade of a sapling, arms eagerly looped around your waist to steal a quick kiss of his own. Whether in the tight space of a bathroom stall or the dusty storage closet, he’s content to have you in his arms no matter the place.
So, this time, don’t be the first to pull away— no, he’d hate to have to pin you down beneath his weight for you to properly take what he has so selflessly prepared for you today, ‘kay?
It’d be only be rude to deny him of what he’s patiently waited so long for like a good boy, no?
#what’s the term again?#virgin loser?#right.#what kind of virgin loser loses his fucking mind over a mere kiss??#..don’t look down#haha#no I don’t know what you’re talking about#cum? never.#dol#degrees of lewdity#kylar the loner#kylar dol#dol kylar#kylar degrees of lewdity#degrees of lewdity kylar#male reader#x male reader#sub male reader#bottom male reader#character x male reader#— ☆ burnt ashes.
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the thing i hate most about being a survivor of medical abuse as a result of being raised by conspiracy brained alternative health obsessed parents is that i know exactly why they did it. they genuinely thought that they were saving my life. people will ask me "how could anyone do that to their child?" but as far as they were concerned refusing to let me be vaccinated or take antibiotics and throwing out post-surgery prescription drugs (including the ones meant to prevent life threatening infections) was better than being responsible for my death, which their stupid little conspiracy posts and pamphlets assured them would be drawn out and terrible. obviously they wouldn't have been responsible for anything but a happier, healthier child and i suffered a lot of unnecessary pain, but in the reality they lived in the alternative was a dead kid. unfortunately that means i have to live with some of the most horrifying experiences of my life being points of personal pride and evidence of the protective power of familial love and good parenting for them, but that's what they say about the road to hell and good intentions innit.
#🐉#sorry mommy i cant trust you to fetch me a drink without spiking it with some snake oil tincture#but i appreciate the offer :)
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Hey Red! I really enjoyed all of your writings especially because I am also a sucker for angst and hurt/comfort fic. Anyway, can I request fic about post-prison Spencer x reader (romantic) where the reader is the one who distanced herself from Spencer because after the first time Spencer released from prison, he doesn't want to touch anyone? Bet he'll be so heartbroken and thinking that she's over their relationship. Thank you! Sorry if it's too specific ❤️
distance [ s.r ]
Spencer makes a show of physically distancing himself from his teammates after he returns from prison, and in trying to abide by that boundary you accidentally misread his intentions
WARNINGS: miscommunication, established relationship
pairing: post-prison!spencer x gn!reader
genre: ANGST, hurt/comfort, happy ending
wc: 1.6k
masterlist!!
a/n: gave this one a happy ending as an apology for transgression-
You waited for 84 days to see him again; And yet now he’s stood here in front of you you can’t even bring yourself to speak to him.
He’s thinner than you remember. His cheekbones show more prominently. He has stubble lining his chin. His hair is more unruly. His eyes don’t shine anymore.
Spencer changed in those 84 days, and the second you caught his eyes a hairline fracture formed in your heart.
Gone was the Spencer who would light up at the most insignificant thing. Gone was the Spencer who would look at you with those sweet innocent eyes that would make you weak at the knees. Gone was the Spencer who would link his pinky finger in yours so that he could anchor himself to you no matter where you were.
Gone was the Spencer you knew.
Your Spencer didn’t exist anymore.
You watched as he swerved a hug from Morgan as he entered the office, clasping both of his hands behind his back with an awkward smile as he walked through the bullpen towards you were standing in front of his desk, eerily resembling the 23 year old Spencer who avoided everyone like they had the plague.
“Hey Spence…” Your voice is a lot more breathless than you thought it’d be, only amplified as you look into those gorgeous hazel eyes that you’d dreamed about being able to look into again for the past three months. “..How are you?”
It’s a completely unnecessary question Spencer thinks, it makes it sound like you’re just his co-worker and not the love of his life.
“I’m alright…” His eyebrows twitch when you take a few steps away from his desk as he nears you, like you can’t bear to be too close.
Then again, he probably looks like hell, so he can’t entirely blame you.
But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.
“That’s good,” You press your lips into a line, nodding softly with your eyes flickering everywhere except his face. He’d been gone for 84 days, but you were treating him like you’d never met.
“I’m gonna go make some coffee-” You point lamely towards the kitchenette with your thumb, sliding past him to walk towards it as he watched you leave, eyes burning into the back of your head.
It was a weird feeling to say the least. You were ecstatic that he was home, that you could finally see his beautiful face again and know that he wasn’t suffering in a prison cell. But you weren’t sure how to express that. Whether you should express that.
You fumble with the coffee machine as you lose yourself in your thoughts. Everything about Spencer’s body language when he entered the office told you he wanted space, and you wanted to respect that.
You understood that he’d definitely been through a lot over the past few months and that he wanted time to collect himself before he let anybody else back in; But the way he looked at you when you moved away from him made you unsure. Did he want to be left alone? Did he actually want you to suffocate him with a hug like you were originally planning on doing?
You weren’t sure. And that was the worst part, because depending on which option you chose you could unintentionally swerve things into being worse than they already were.
You chose the safe option. Let him come to you. Leave him be and allow him to choose what he wanted.
He didn’t approach you for a few days, and you figured that meant your decision was correct, that he truly did just want some space to gain his bearings again and allow himself the downtime to focus on himself before anyone else.
You were wrong.
“Why are you avoiding me?” Spencer caught you right as you left the office, stood in the middle of the hallway leading to the elevator with an exhausted expression on your face after working for almost 10 straight hours.
You do nothing more than blink in his direction at his question, exhaustion morphing into confusion once your eyes catch him expression.
You could see his own tiredness echoed through the bags forming under his eyes and the way his shoulders slumped at his sides, but you could also see a flicker of hurt floating around in his gaze, seemingly amplified under the white florescents as if to torture you.
“I’m- not avoiding you Spencer,”
“Yes you are.” His tone is rigid, a stark difference from the soft and whispered tone you’d grown used to with him. It felt like having a bucket of ice water poured over your head, and as if to physically acknowledge that feeling, a shudder ran its way up your spine and into the base of your skull. “Every time I’m within ten feet of you, you make an excuse to leave.”
You can’t really argue with him there. You had been keeping your distance. But only because you thought that’s what Spencer wanted.
“Do you not love me anymore? Is that it? Am I too broken for you now?”
“What- No-” Your confusion turns into shock at his accusations, and you immediately shake your head in denial.
“Then why are you treating me like a stranger you’ve never met?” His tone borders between angry and upset, and you can see the start of tears forming in his eyes as he stares at you like you’d just ripped up a first-edition copy of his favourite book.
“I waited for the day i’d finally be able to see you again and now you’re acting like I never existed in your mind at all.” You can hear the strain in his voice as he tries to stop it from cracking under his emotions.
“Spence-”
“Have you moved on? You found someone better for you right?”
“Spencer-”
“I hope he makes you happy-”
He barely has time to get out the last sentence as you give a sharp tug on his tie and pull his face down to yours, effectively silencing all of his insecurities with a kiss. It’s soft but firm, and slightly salty. He must’ve started crying.
“I love you Spencer.” Your words hold no room for debate as your lips part from his, connection maintained through the way your foreheads press together.
“But you- Why did you- I thought…” His mind seems to run a thousand miles a minute as he stares at you, finally close enough to see the details of your face that nobody else had the privilege to know. “I thought you didn’t love me anymore…”
“Spence…” You shake your head as it rests against his, a firm denial of his doubt in your complete and utter adoration of him.
“But you kept moving away from me whenever i’d try to come over to you,” He speaks through stuttered breaths, his eyes squeezed shut to hopefully stop the tears that assault his cheeks, running hot down his skin and pooling underneath the curve of his chin.
“I just thought you wanted space baby,” Your thumbs move deftly over his cheeks, wiping away the streaks of tears and taking Spencer’s insecurity with them. “I saw you dodging everyone’s advances and I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable,”
“I don’t want space from you,” When he opens his eyes again, they’re big, round, and still glistening with the moisture of his tears. But most of all they’re filled with nothing but pure affection for you. “I never want space from you…”
You sure that if you keep eye contact with him for much longer that you’ll start crying yourself, so you redirect his head to lie against your shoulder as you wrap your arms tight around his torso.
“I missed you…” His voice is so quiet that if you weren’t holding him in your arms you wouldn’t have heard it.
“I missed you too Spence,” Your head rests against his, you hand rubbing soft lines up and down his spine over his shirt as he soaks in all the affection he’s missed over the last three months.
“Can I stay at yours tonight? Please?” His gaze is enough of a ‘please’ in itself, but the way his voice drops to almost a whisper when he adds the plea onto the end of his question makes it impossible for you to deny him. Although it’s not like you were going to in the first place.
“Of course you can Spence,” You place a kiss to his left temple as you carefully break the hug, taking his hand in yours to lead him to the elevator. “Lets go home,”
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid#criminal minds#criminal minds x reader#spencer reid angst#criminal minds angst#mgg#asks 🫶
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