#lots of unnecessary suffering

[carebooks]

What is wrong with Taylor Sheridan that he can’t write good endings or finales following long ass climaxes in tv???

1923 SPOILERS AHEAD!

seriously? THAT’S your choice? to kill off Alex just as soon as they reunited? “oh it’s realistic, frostbite will kill you, gangreen will kill you” I DONT CARE IT’S A TV SHOW, HOW HARD IS IT TO WRITE “you’re lucky you made a fire quick, you saved your legs” if you want some gore, amputate fingers if you have to, but for FUCKS SAKE— YOU KILL HER OFF?! what a surprise.

original post above made by @lilymarch

[idleindy]

Would it be blasphemy to say that I actually don't want another Dragon Age game?

[aspectpriority]

I dunno. I've spent too much time around people who act like enjoying life is childish and immature and expecting anything but the worst is a fools errand, and unfortunately, I am at this point just a fundamentally optimistic person and that annoys people a lot. Like I'm sorry you find hope and whimsy irritating but like. Maybe fuck off actually.

[beep-beep-imma-sheep]

One of these days I had my powerful 3-whole-hours of sleep. My dear littlest cousin decided, then, to show me a ... Skibidy Toilet (I think that's what it's called) video.

I did not understand a single thing he showed me as I was sitting there, nodding and musing the best smile I could as I was a blink away of plop into the ground.

I just know that I feel so privileged... This little kid trusts me enough to show me something he enjoys. He wanted to enjoy something he likes with me.

I can't possibly imagine myself doing that with any of my older cousins nor siblings because they would, FOR SURE, make fun of every aspect of it. Has happened already, comedy.

It can be the "cringest cringe to ever cringe" for all I care, he can ramble about it for hours if he wants, I'm here to listen. I'll ask questions and very much enjoy the entire conversation.

Come one, everyone had a "cringe" phase.

(I die everytime I remember what I did when I was younger).

People still consider fandoms, fics and shipping characters as cringe-. I have absolutely no right to criticize here.

And.

Again.

He's a kid. He's happy, having fun, and no one's getting hurt. Let's keep it that way.

But, for the love of God, can someone explain to me what is going on-?. I genuinely don't get it.

Btw I think I ended up venting in the tags-lmao.

[cookinguptales]

lmao the vibes from last night after the show

[k-she-rambles]

Oh wow. When people said live action Mulan wasn't very good, I didn't think they meant it like that

[luesmainblog]

i do sometimes wonder why people say "shock value" as though it has no actual value. as though there is nothing to be said in what shocks you, as though we all agree the same things are shocking, as though the unexpected disgust or discomfort is of no value in and of itself. as though we can't use an emotional ice bath from time to time to remind ourselves we still CAN be shocked. i especially see this in the horror community, and it's like... some things aren't meant to make it scarrier. sometimes it's to make it Sadder, or more disgusting, or make it clear just how far from morality our cast has fallen. and i have to wonder if part of it is that you DO get comfortable with horror, eventually, when you spent a lot of time there. but there's still things that you don't want to come across; stuff you aren't here for. stuff that still unnerves you in a way that *isn't* fun. if you got used to enjoying the gruesome, but only on your own terms; if you never did confront the part of you that rejects anything that makes you viscerally, genuinely wigged out. and calling it "shock value" is, in a way, admitting that intention. that it was supposed to make you feel that way. that THAT was the value of its inclusion; to 'shock' you. what's so invaluable about that? what is it about being reminded of those parts of life that makes you feel they're "not being taken seriously" if you're not given a 3000 page exploration of it? why, in a world where you readily engage in horrific things happening to people who didn't deserve it and beloved faces become grim as they're forced to become bad people, is THIS too far for you?

and why is your squick specifically indicitive of bad writing?

[luveline]

hello might i ask for sassy badass reckless reader who is the #1 leading cause of aaron's gray hairs pls 🤞🏻 he is SO exasperated with her like he is TIRED™ but also tweaking bcs he's horrendously down bad for her he's gna throw up

Good morning. I hope you slept well, honey. Can you come to work early, say 6.10AM? I’d like to see you and talk about something in person. 

You squint at the text that’s just come through. Another follows as you’re finishing, lighting the dark of your room.

I love you. Sorry, I know you don’t like when I forget to tell you in the mornings. 

Your own response is sent without propriety. I love you too handsome. 6.10 is not gonna work.

Can you make an effort for me? he asks. 

You do your very best. 

“It’s almost seven,” Hotch says when you finally get there that morning, his frown audible and plain to see. 

You hold up the bag of sugar donuts you’d purchased from the truck on the square just outside of Quantico’s endless parking lots. “Necessary delay.” 

“Unnecessary. I asked you nicely to come early and you’re barely on time,” he grumbles. 

How adorable. You put the bag of donuts on the desk and ignore the paperwork laid out waiting for you in favour of his side of the desk. He smells like cedar, his suit sleeve starched under your hand. You lean back against the lip of his desk and pretend you hadn’t been thinking about climbing into his lap —he’s formidable and lovely and that’s the best combination for lounging about atop someone, especially when that someone is very good at pressing you backwards, and better at kissing your neck. 

He knows what you’re thinking. “You’ve woken up in a mood,” he murmurs. 

“A good one,” you promise. 

You take his coffee and steal a sip. Hotch, resigned, lays a hand on your thigh. “I have important things to talk about, you know? I thought I made that clear this morning.” 

“You made a couple of things clear.” 

“Don’t say it like that.” 

“Like what?” 

“Like I…” He tilts his head to the side. “Like I’ve been sending you dirty texts or photos.” 

“Is that an option? I don’t think I’ve subscribed to those emails.” 

“You make me out to be this salacious lark–”

“Aaron, I don’t do anything of the sort.” You can hardly hold back a laugh. “I’m sorry I implied you were sexting me, okay? I wish you had been.” He sighs a long-suffering sigh as you carry on. “But you were very formal. I’ll be sure to tell HR the same thing.” 

His hand slips between your thighs. Nowhere it shouldn’t be, just trapped between soft flesh. “Don’t tell HR anything.” 

His coffee is lukewarm and unsweetened on your tongue. Would it kill your uptight love to add just a dash of cream and sugar? Wrinkling your nose, you set aside the mug and press your mildly heated hand to his cheek. Just quickly, brushing a thumb up to the skin below his eye before you let it fall. “Tell me what you wanted me to come in early for. And, for the record, I’m sorry for not trying to get here before, just I didn’t sleep well, and my neck hurt too much to rush.” 

He looks like he wants to ignore your apology. He doesn’t ask you for much, and showing up when he’d wanted you to would’ve been the kinder thing to do —he can be annoyed as both boss or boyfriend. 

But he doesn’t have it in him. 

“Why didn’t you sleep?” he asks softly. 

“Thinking too much about my nice boyfriend.” 

“Really?” 

You slouch a little. Cover his hand where it rests between your legs. “I don’t know. It was really hot, and my mattress is getting old, probably.” 

He ushers you down for a sympathetic kiss. He’s always so sorry to hear about your minor ailments, he must like you too much. 

You attempt to crawl into his lap, curling an arm behind his head. He, disgruntled and yet far from reluctant, lets you take a seat. 

[classica-meretrix]

P.D.A.

pairing: spencer reid x bau!reader genre: fluff content/warnings: early seasons spencer, established relationship, use of y/n, lots of pda obvi, mentions of murder summary: spencer isn't one for public displays of attention, especially around the bau team, but when a case calls for it, he shocks everyone a/n: ignore that I accidentally posted this the other day

"The unsub is a white male, most likely in his early twenties. He suffered a large business failure at a young age, and is still attempting to grasp at those straws," Hotch explained is his typical serious monotone, slowly pacing the edge of the desk. "His victims are other young men who are trying to do the same, along with their girlfriends. We assume his failure cost him an important relationship, one which appeared to be fairly hot and heavy, as our victims have all been reported to display a lot of PDA." Hotch stopped in front of the table, turning to fully face us now. "We'll need a 'tech bro' type, someone who's good with numbers and good enough with computers."

All eyes turned to Spencer.

"The girlfriend role is no question. Our highest chance of this being believable is with Y/N."

"I think you mean our only chance," Morgan mocked, leaning back in his chair.

Spencer gave him a slightly puzzled look, as if he didn't understand the point he was making.

"Sometimes I wonder if these two are even dating," he continued. "There's no way he'd be able to pull that off with someone else."

Hotch let out a sigh, his mouth forming a hard line at Morgan's comment, but he pushed on. "The rest of us will be going to the party, but we're to refrain from contacting either Spencer or Y/N for extended periods of time without reason. If anyone asks, we're investors, and will most likely be asked to hold a fake business conversation at one or more points throughout the party. Make it look like it's going well, we believe this is what triggers the unsub. Success is the key. We meet at the jet in fifteen."

Hotch was already out the door by time I'd finished processing his words. I stood to collect a file from the table, gently nudging Spencer as he came to stand next to me.

"So, Mr. And Mrs. Hot and Heavy," Morgan began, a cocky grin on his lips. "Think you can pull this off, Reid?"

"Of course," Spencer answered flatly. "It's no different than any other case."

Morgan raised his eyebrows. "You do realize you'll actually have to touch her for this to believable, right? You won't be able to get by on just sharing coffee."

Spencer's brows were knitted together. Blatant confusion still evident in his expression.

"Yes, I realize that."

"Morgan, lay off, will you?" I piped up. "He'll be just fine. Let's get to the jet."

He relented, stalking out of the room with that cocky smirk still plastered on his lips.

I leaned back against the chair, pulling my legs up next to me. Morgan's words rang in my mind, plaguing me with unnecessary worries.

I knew I shouldn't dwell on it, I mean this was by no means Spencer's first time in the field, and I was well aware that he could pull off the guise of a touchy boyfriend, but Spencer's field work typically played off of his apparent nervousness, which completely went against the character, and he had never been fond of PDA, especially not around the BAU.

Sure, he could be touchy and all that in private, but that was mainly reserved for the privacy and comfort of one of our apartments, not some random skyrise chalked full of sleezy businessmen.

My eyes drifted to his sleeping form, curled up in a tight ball of one of the benches. A soft, serene expression was settled on his face as he laid swaddled in a thin blanket.

Somehow, he was going to act as someone completely different to himself, all while actively looking for the unsub. That part I could at least be of some use for, and I intended to do my best.

"How do I look?" he whispered in my ear as we walked towards the elevator, his hand resting loosely around my waist.

I wanted to say something like 'sexy as hell', but figured a simple "perfect" would do the trick. I reached up to loosen his tie just bit further, letting it rest where the top button of his shirt was undone. He was dressed up, but in someways much less formal than usual. His suit jacket hung open, his shirt and tie loose around his neck, his hair ruffled. This was a look I could most definitely get behind.

Spencer led me into the elevator, pressing the button for the penthouse, where the networking party was being hosted. We were the last of the BAU team to arrive, Gideon and Morgan being sent in separately, and Hotch and Elle as a young investing couple.

Spencer's eyes watched the electric panel above the door, following the numbers as they rose with the elevator. Just as the screen showed '25'—the floor just below the penthouse—Spencer's entire demeanor seemed to change.

His back straightened, adding at least another two inches to his height, he adopted the hint of a cocky smirk, and his hand dropped a dangerous amount, finding where my thigh met my hip with a firm hold.

The doors slid open, and he led me into the crowded room. The ceilings were easily twenty feet high, each central space adorned with an elaborate chandelier. Men and women alike, dressed to the nines, filled the space.

Spencer made no hesitation to strike up a conversation with the most capable looking businessman in the room, keeping me pressed to his side as he began spewing off the details of the fabricated business.

"Really? You don't say!" the older man cheered. "What a splendid proposition! What propelled you to even think of such a thing?"

"Child prodigy," Spencer answered, his tone laced with an intoxicating amount of self-confidence. I allowed myself to laugh a little too hard, his hand caressing my thigh as he shamelessly cast a hungry look down my body, tugging at the low neckline of my dress.

The investor laughed at Spencer's comment, taking a sip of his drink. I didn't miss the way his eyes followed a similar trail as Spencer's, but instead with a mix of intrigue and vague uncomfortableness at the blatant PDA.

As Spencer began rattling on again, I latched on to his neck, placing feverish kisses as he spoke. I had just begun to suck a decent mark on his collarbone when the man cleared his throat and made an awkward excuse to vacate the conversation.

I pulled back with a laugh, Spencer mimicking me. "That one's going to leave a mark. Sorry."

He roughly groped my ass, pulling me closer. "I'm never going to hear the end of this from Morgan."

"Speak of the devil," I began, watching as Derek appeared over Spencer's shoulder. He spun to face the visitor, pulling me along with him to rest against his chest.

"Well, well, well," Morgan began, his tone teasing yet impressed. "Who knew you were such a bad boy, Reid?" He made sure to keep his voice down, low enough that eves droppers wouldn't be able to discern that our talk wasn't strictly business over the party crowd.

"I told you I'd pull it off," Spencer stated bluntly. "Pretending to date my girlfriend isn't an exceptionally difficult task."

"Well, I don't know what you consider dating, but there's a big difference between what you two are like in the bullpen and what you're like now." Morgan's eyes flitted down to Spencer's hands as he spoke, which were now nudging up the already short hem of my dress to rest between my thighs.

"That's work," he said, as if that completely cleared up Morgan's comment.

"Hold on," I mumbled, catching sight of someone over Derek's shoulder. A tall blonde man, a few years younger than Spencer, watching the three of us like a hawk, though his gaze mainly flickered between Spencer and my rising hemline. "Unsub, ten o'clock."

Morgan immediately looked towards the crowd behind Spencer and myself, his brows scrunching.

"My ten o'clock," I huffed. "And don't look directly at him."

"I see him," Spencer whispered in my ear. "Morgan, notify Hotch. He'll make contact as soon as you're gone."

Derek gave the slightest nod, stumbling back as he raised his glass. "You're a corporate genius, man! Hit me up some time," he practically yelled, before disappearing back into the crowd.

[mysumeow]

︵ ☆ Malleus NSFW Alphabet (S-Z) Pt. 3

ᓚᘏᗢ WARNINGS: AFAB body reader. Brief cervix stuff mention. ᓚᘏᗢ A/N: i know cervix stuff irl is not that pleasurable to most, but in smut, i like it :D | ᓚ₍ ^. .^₎ . . . TWST MASTERLIST | PART 1 | PART 2

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

You could try outlasting him if you’d like to, although it’s more likely that you’ll tire out before he does.

He’ll last as long as you want it to last; energy’s not a limitation. If you’re in the mood for more than one round, he’s up for it.

That’s under normal circumstances. When he enters his rut, however, it’s another story. Just once isn’t enough. If you’re giving him a hand (or more than that), be prepared for a long night. For several days.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

In terms of technology, Malleus is not what you would think of as careful, considering how often he breaks his phone and Tamagotchi. If he owned a toy, it would meet the same fate as those.

Besides, he doesn’t deem toys necessary. His hand gets the job done.

This reasoning goes in hand regarding the use of a toy on you: unnecessary. Why would he use that when his fingers, his mouth, and his dick can provide you with pleasure. His cock is big enough to give you the stretch you crave, the warmth you seek that a measly toy won’t provide.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Most of the time, he’s pleasing. Giving you what you need.

When he’s not, he’s cruel. You aren’t sure whether he uses that excuse of wanting to wallow in you to prolong your suffering, or he means it. When you need him to go faster, to ravage you… Instead, his pace is unhurried, gripping your hips with decided strength to keep you in place, not letting you buck your hips to reach that orgasm that’s just there but not quite…

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

For someone that’s not experienced, he controls his volume well. Even when he speaks, his voice is collected. During sex, he’s not loud, but each groan is like a reward. They’re so pleasant to listen to. His words might stutter a bit when he’s exerting himself, but he keeps it low.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Sometimes he gets an urge to bind your hands. For you to grant your pleasure to his mercy. To see how far he can push before you start begging him to let you orgasm. Or, on the contrary, if you're bratty, he wants to see for how long you can keep it up.

If he can be a menace when in bed under normal conditions...if you willingly let him tie your hands to the bed post, be prepared for a long night.

X = X-ray

Even if you’re dripping wet, it can be a bit of a challenge to take it all. It stretches you in a way unlike anything else you’ve tried before, and you could soon find yourself unsatisfied if you try to find that same feeling with a toy or your hand. Even by fae standards, he’s above average in size. Once you get used to his length, you’ll feel the tip stimulate your cervix.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Since his feelings for you grew to the point of no return, he finds himself thinking about you a lot more often. Those thoughts arise with more mild intentions, such as taking a stroll across campus with you to take in the true majesty of gargoyles, see how you take care of his pet Tamagotchi…the ideas spiral into something less idle and more salacious. He itches to have you underneath him again, to clutch your legs open while he seizes everything you have to offer, to worship you with kisses—suddenly, there’s a strain under his pants.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Malleus catches his breath faster than you do, and if he notices you’re drowsy, he’ll hold you and wait for you to fall asleep first. He’s still got energy left, so he stays awake a little longer than you do. He can’t fight back against somnolence when you look that placid in dreams, and after a moment, he falls asleep too.

[alfascorpiionux]

Astro notes ~ part 4

Water moons (especially Pisces, Cancer) struggle with time management skills.

Earth Moons + Air Moons are usually on time for appointments.

Sag Moons are reliable people and you can trust them to tell the truth even when it’s difficult.

Aries Venus’ love is fierce and protective. They would do everything even the impossible for their loved ones.

Taurus Venus is a provider. The sort of person that buys plenty of stuff for their loved ones, sometimes unnecessary ones. If they are a parent, their children will not lack material things.

Saturn square Venus: is very serious and dedicated in love. Definitely not the type of person who enjoys having flings. They are in for the long run.

Venus in 10th house: might place career over love. Their love life is likely public or just many people know about it. The person might fall in love with a coworker/boss/assistant.

Many personal planets in 11th house (especially Sun/Moon): friends and community play an important role in this person’s life. Like for example if they encounter a difficulty or get sick it’s gonna be their friends or close circle that will offer them the most help. Maybe even more than their blood-related kin/family.

Moreover, it is surrounded by a group of people they trust that they feel the most comfortable and like themselves. This group could be friends, coworkers or even new acquaintances.

Having friends could be vital for these natives’ well-being! If they are socially isolated or they have a controlling partner that doesn’t allow them to meet other people often enough, they might get depressed or even sick.

Many placements in 12th house: the opposite is true and having alone time become quintessential. It is this way that they recharge and find answers to their deepest and most sought-after questions. Another interesting thing I’ve noticed is that they feel very fulfilled if they do something nice for someone. Even a small gesture like opening a door for a stranger. They are sensitive and artistic people that strive for balance, peace and kindness in their everyday life.

Taurus people take your secret to the grave.

On the other hand, Gemini/Libra may “accidentally” tell it to the first person they meet.

Cancer Suns make great mothers and can be incredibly sweet, dedicated and sacrifice a lot for their loved ones.

Sagittarius, Gemini people are great to have at parties. They bring humor, light-heartedness and lots of fun even to the most boring get-togethers.

Gemini Moon+Scorpio Sun: the beastly teacher that expects you to know their subject to absolute perfection and doesn’t forgive tardiness. Hard exams.

Aquarius people could be quite perfectionistic and big nerds.

A love relationship between two Pisces is extremely powerful. Like you can see it’s karmic, destined to be. It could bring incredible love, of the kind you’d never experience with anybody else, but also great hardships and suffering.

Cancer Suns could have a complicated relationship with water. They might fear or dislike being inside or near bigger bodies of water.

Air signs in the big 3: native has the potential to give very engaging and interesting presentations. Like they know what to say and what gestures to use not to bore people and make them focus.

Moon/Venus in 7th house: need a partner to feel good and complete. It is with a lover that they can function best.

Air Sun+Water Moon: pretty volatile, chaotic people or just unstable/inconstant overall.

Capricorn Sun with Aqua Moon is the strange, cold one. You’d like to get to know them but it’s not easy. Probably a pretty distant person who is not very emotionally expressive. Could be a nerd or just do very well in studies. Interest in technology/computers is likely.

[lustlovehart]

This is like my first ask ever so I'm a bit nervous, but I've been thinking abt monter!twst nonstop so I just had to make an ask. What would the boys do (including Rollo) if mh!reader was on a mission and got put under a sleeping curse?

I'd imagine it'd be pretty distressing, imaging Rollo trying to keep the monsters away while looking for a cure for reader.

Love the au also! Keep up the good work!

- milk 🥛 anon

A/n: Ahhhh!!! Hi 🥛 anon!!! Don’t ever be nervous putting stuff in my inbox <33 I’ve said this before but I love reading everyone’s ideas!! Even if i don’t get to writing them </3

Featuring: [Monster!Twst] Heartslaybul, Savanaclaw, Octavinelle, Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, Diasmonia, Rollo, Neige, Fellow, Skully, Chenya x Reader

Cw: Head canon format ( So no individual scenarios unfortunately), Obsession, Possessiveness, Kissing, Insecurity, No proofreading

Unfortunately, Poor Rollo has to deal with BOTH swatting them away like flies, and checking up to make sure you’re not suffering in your time of rest with nightmares 😔 (a wanting to be married to you single mom who works 2 jobs).

I like to imagine fairytales still exist within the universe, but they don’t reach their ears in the wild. It’s only Heartslaybul, Leona, Kalim, and Epel who have any idea of the “Kiss of true love”, and then words spreads around of these human stories and suddenly it’s less about getting your body back and more about being the one who wakes you up…

Why would he wanna kiss you? That’s stupid nothing’s gonna happen… Maybe one—?

- Ace, Jamil, Epel, Sebek

- Depending on his personality, he’s either going “Ew gross i’m not kissing a human” or “Those humans tales are foolish, why would i believe them?”. But either view end them in the same boat, standing over your slumbering form and hesitantly leaning into your face. Maybe he isn’t fast with it either, taking his time to look at the details in your mortal face, pores, eyelashes, everything really. It’s stupid, so stupid he shouldn’t believe any of this really, it’s vulnerable, emotional, unnecessary; yet, he can’t seem to stop himself from placing his monstrous mouth on yours, hoping something will happen.

Wants to kiss you, but feels a sense of insecurity that holds him back

- Riddle, Deuce, Cater, Ruggie, Jack, Azul, Idia, Silver

- Similar to the previous category, but slightly different. They don’t oppose the idea of a kiss at all, what really has them fearing their lips on yours, is both the vulnerability, and the event of it not working. What then? He puts himself out there for you and it’s pointless? It’s cruel, a further reminder of just how different you both are. He will look at you with pain in his eyes, wondering what he should do. Ghastly hands taking your own as he lifts them to his mouth. He might not be able to bring himself to your lips, but he’s willing to settle on your skin. He just… can’t bear the thought that he wasn’t made for you.

He’ll try, it sounds fun! When, not if, you wake up, he’ll make sure to tell you about everyone’s current violence problem.

- Trey, Floyd, Jade, Rook, Lilia, Fellow, Chenya

- Practically jumping at the chance to place his mouth on you. Of course he’ll wake you up! You’re a lot more fun when you up and about trying to hunt him down! The thought of it not working does cross his mind, but is he truly an all famed beast if he can’t take risks? He lucked out on Rollo being gone, he’s essentially a human version of a brick wall. He’ll go out all out for you, snaking his arm around your waist and lifting you out the glass coffin liking a loving husband. He’ll swirl you around with care, before dipping you down like a ballroom dance, and then wake you up. He can’t wait to show off to everyone else, because you will open your eyes.

He’ll do it. if his try doesn’t work though… He’ll make sure no one eleses does either. Your sleeping body will forever be held with him until you wake up.

- Leona, Kalim, Vil, Malleus, Neige, Skully

- He’s already sat by your side, his hand tracing patterns into your collarbone while he whispers. Will you wake up for him? You will won’t you? You must. Silent affirmations only he and he only will know, unless you wake up of course. His finger will trace down your chest, tapping the place your heart would be, each touch in sync with the beat of your heart. It’s gentle, yet somehow possessive in some right. With the final beat of his index, he’ll finally lean down, his face feeling your breathes on his fiendish skin. You’ll wake up, not because he believes in the tale, but because you must let him be the one who does something so intimate to you. If it doesn’t work, he’ll put you in prettier clothes, a prettier coffin, a prettier home, because he won’t let anyone else have the blessing of tasting your lips, only him.

The one who places your body in the pretty glass coffin, putting you in the prettiest of wear and scenery during his attempt; all while warding off the wretched creatures.

- Rollo

- Practically spends every waking and sleeping moment in your presence, only leaving for at most 5 minutes. Unfortunately for him, 5 minutes is enough time for anything to happen to you. He’ll hold your hands, fix your clothes, place new flowers and ribbons on your coffin, anything for you; except be the one who kisses you. The urge to consumes his entire being, eating at him like a sinful leech who wont let go. Sometimes whenever he’s by you, his eyes can’t help but trace back to your lips, a temptation too good for any man or beast to resist, but he does, because he can’t bear the thought of stripping you’re purity, directly at least. Whenever the urge becomes much too strong, he’ll lean down, placing a kiss on your knuckle, on your wrist, on your forehead, on your cheek, on your collarbone, on your neck, on your chest, even on the corner of your mouth, until the only place he hasn’t placed his mouth on is your lips. An indulgence he won’t take no matter how much he wishes to. Because…

You don’t deserve a monsters love, not matter how much he wishes to be yours and yours alone.

You are the sole blessing he has left, he won’t taint you, no matter how much he wishes too. But… he won’t let anyone else take you either.

A/n: For Floyd, Jade, and Sebek I realized half way that these guys wouldn’t be able to reach you on land if that’s where you were laid to rest, a perfect scenario for Rollo really. Imagine his surprise when he opens your room and sees tiny imps dragging your coffin out and into the river, where a horrific marine monster takes hold of you… Truly, how desperate for you are they?!? (Rollo has no room to judge considering he’s just as obsessed)

This honestly makes Floyd and Jade scenario so pretty <3 being in pretty clothes while he ball dances with you in the water, dipping you down while clear water envelops your upper half, leaving only your pretty face <33 do you guys see the vision?!?

And trey? He doesn’t seem like the type to be in that category, but hear me out, he does it low-key. He doesn’t go all out like the others guys so it’s not as cocky, yet there’s the underlying feeling of bragging that they can get mad and but can’t outright criticize him for. Same goes for kalim, he doesn’t seem like the type to do such a thing, but in this case, he can’t help but feel a little jealous if it isn’t him who wakes you up.

[neodymiumcuilz]

HELP A FAMILY IN GAZA!!

"I am a mother of 4 children, Jamil, Ahmed, Karim and Rital, all of whom are school students. We have been living in tragic circumstances for more than 10 months. I lost my job as a teacher because of the war. I owned two houses, which were partially destroyed and then burned. I lost a lot of my furniture. Because of the destruction, we were displaced to the Mawasi area of ​​Khan Yunis. Now, I, my four children and my husband live in a tent and suffer from severe shelling, lack of food, water, health care and all the necessities of life. During this war, my children fell ill with hepatitis. We find treatment only with difficulty.

Insects have multiplied in the tents, epidemics and diseases have spread, and we suffer from difficulty in obtaining the necessities of life, extreme heat in the summer and cold in the winter. In addition, the tents have become worn out and water has entered the tents, damaging everything in them, and the water has reached our clothes, in addition to the shortage of cleaning materials and their high prices. This war has cost us a lot of what we own: housing, money, friends, and health. Now all I want from you is to help me and my children rebuild our future and start a new life."

Hello everyone, please listen to the message from @haninfamily9 who has reached out to me asking for help, in rebuilding their lives and securing a stable future for children in need, along with surviving the harsh conditions and providing basic needs, basic needs like food, water, good shelter and health care, clothes. They are human and deserving of being warm, comfortable, dry, and not displaced or in constant fear. Please have a heart and donate if you can. What you may spend on a coffee or something unnecessary can really get this campaign off the ground. Thank you.

51% OF GOAL REACHED!! PLEASE DO WHAT YOU CAN!!

Please also share, vist @haninfamily9 and interact with the posts, share the account, share the message, and campaign so it can reach more donors. Thank you!

[scrimblescromble]

Hello, I'm back, with things I have noticed about Eragon that makes parts of the book very strange or funny or sad

Garrow's farm is TEN MILES OUT from Carvahall, which is already small. What the hell was he thinking??? It takes like 3.5 hours to walk that much???? And Eragon walks FURTHER THAN THAT to go hunting at 15???? Go behind you??

When hunting in the beginning, Eragon spends days just going for one doe. Which, all things considered, is not a lot of meat, especially for what's probably a 4 day hunt. For one person, it's unrealistic to carry more than that, but still.

Leading on from that, I'm led to believe that their family probably mostly ate bread and vegetables, and maybe cheese. No wonder he's pretty attached to meat.

Despite living so far away, Brom knows Eragon's knack for asking Too Many Questions, which implies this happens often.

How the hell does Brom make money? Storytelling??? There's only so much money that can get you in fifteen years, he's definitely got something on the side. He was a gardener in Morzan's estate for a while...

So far up north and isolated, Eragon DEFINITELY has a STRONG farmer's accent. Combined with his formal training with the elves, he probably has the weirdest way of talking, where it's both overly formal and casual at the same time.

Eragon is such a prodigy it's not even funny. By the time he meets Murtagh, he's a good enough swordsman after JUST A FEW MONTHS that they're literally equal. Murtagh has been doing that his WHOLE LIFE with a really good swordsman. Magic also comes pretty good to him, even if he's not always sensible with it. He learns to read well enough to read full books in a week.

Eragon and Roran are pretty similar with the dangerous stunts they pull, except Eragon's are usually with magic and Roran's are physical. They are both absurdly intelligent too, even if Eragon is known to act like a dolt sometimes. In his defence, he's stressed and like 15-17 years old. All things considered, he could be far worse.

Somehow, with his back ripped open and cursed, with his dragon crashing through the crystal ceiling which is raining on top of him, Eragon is able to not only remember to stab Durza in the heart (requiring turning around), but also shout an unnecessary spell.

Eragon probably could do magic before he bonded with Saphira. His mum wasn't a rider and had the "genes" for it, and his dad was a rider. It wouldn't be as strong, but maybe he's such a powerful spellcaster because he had some sort of baseline.

I bet that the first time Eragon wandered into the Spine, he was pretty young, and everyone kinda assumed him dead. He came out a week later with a bunch of rabbits or something

The fact that the Blood Oath Celebration made Eragon very pale implies that he's naturally the whitest boy ever and he just had a constant tan going (likely, because he's a farmer). This is just very funny to me, that in removing all injuries it took his tan.

Another point for absurdly powerful Eragon - the fact that his accidental curse had such an impact on Elva, to the point that it straight up affected her development. It wasn't even a spell! Or intentional!

I'm sorry, but Eragon casting empathy and that unintentionally killing the bad guy is so funny. He was SURRENDERING, but cut a bitch so deep that he imploded himself. Iconic.

Literally he is just so nice. Willing to run across the world, separated from Saphira, to support Orik in his campaign - when he totally could have given an excuse, or even just say the truth, which is that he's very much needed where he is. There's so many more examples, but he's just a good person.

I'm sorry, but Oramis was kinda a bitch for assigning the one hour of duelling in his training. Like, it flares up his seizures like crazy (which he ALSO SUFFERS FROM), AND he doesn't stand a chance against the elves in strength. I understand the point, but something had to give there. At the very least, reassign someone that won't actively torture him??

Adding onto that, we know that he's only able to succeed at the listening to the forest task after the transformation. I suspect that the mind is a sort of "sixth sense", and we know that elves have stronger senses; it's possible Eragon would have to have been bonded for a decent while for this to even be possible. I bet anything that human riders were usually trained by elder humans, and Oramis was struggling with a fledgeling human instead of an elf, as well as the time constraint.

Why the hell does Brom look so old? Yeah, he's old, but Galbatorix doesn't look that old? Is it something to do with his dragon being dead? The way I assumed it would be is that riders look like thirty for a verrrryyyy long time, no? Is it because Saphira died? Was he just going to perpetually age? Or does the beard age him?

Your cousin who feels like a brother goes missing, ran away, after your father's death. Soon you're leading everyone you've ever known to the rebellion in a desperate attempt to keep them safe and save the woman you love. Your cousin is wanted, even more than you are. He returns. He's different. Barely human anymore, hardly the boy you once knew. He's their last, and only hope. His war cry has been the same since he was six.

Now that I think about it, Garrow really is the odd one out in the family. His sister was the Black Hand, a highly dangerous assassin and magician. His son is Stronghammer, one of the deadliest soldiers in the country. His nephews are Eragon and Murtagh, both highly skilled swordsmen and magicians, riders, and both known as Kingkiller. Garrow is a farmer who can read.

Selena naming her son Eragon is soooo funny. "His dad - who is a secret! - is a rider, and Eragon was the first rider. It's so uncommon a name even among the elves that literally nobody will know this. My abusive husband and the evil king both know I hail from this place. He totally won't stick out in any way whatsoever!" Iconic, 10/10. It worked???

If any of these are inaccurate please remember I am going off my very deep-seated knowledge from reading the books so many times at a formative age. I haven't actually read them in years

[loafysainz]

STOP STEALING | LN 4

lando norris!dad x fem!reader!mom

no warn

happy reading!!!

Lando Norris was a lot of things—an F1 driver, a McLaren superstar, a grown man who played way too much golf—but above all else, he was the clingiest husband on the planet.

Unfortunately for him, ever since they had two adorable little monsters named Noah and Leo, Lando had dropped from First Priority to Third Place in Y/N’s heart. And he was absolutely not okay with that.

So, as usual, the war between Father and Sons continued.

It started at breakfast.

Y/N was sitting at the dining table, feeding Leo tiny bites of his pancake while Noah sat beside them, swinging his little legs and rambling about the dinosaur book he was reading. Lando was right across from them, sulking dramatically, watching his wife and kids like a sad puppy.

Y/N, of course, didn’t even notice her husband’s suffering.

“Mamaaa, more pancakeee,” Leo mumbled, blinking up at her with big, sleepy eyes.

“Awww, my baby is still sleepy, huh?” Y/N cooed, ruffling his soft curls before bringing another bite to his mouth. “Here you go, bub.”

Lando gasped. Out loud.

“Oh? So he gets fed, but I don’t?”

Y/N finally looked up, raising an amused brow. “You have hands, babe.”

Lando placed a hand over his heart, looking absolutely wounded. “I can’t believe this. Betrayed by my own wife.”

Noah giggled, chewing on his pancake. “Daddy, you’re not a baby. You can eat by yourself.”

“But I wanna be a baby,” Lando shot back, pouting.

Noah made a face. “But you’re old.”

Lando dramatically clutched the air. “I’m Y/N’s baby, actually. Right, babe?”

Y/N snorted. “You were my baby. Then we had actual babies.”

Lando gasped again. “So that’s it, huh? Used and discarded. Thrown away like an old toy.” He wiped an imaginary tear.

Noah laughed, and Leo, still chewing, tilted his head. “Mamaaa, Daddy cryin’?”

Y/N leaned over and kissed Leo’s forehead. “No, bubba, he’s just being dramatic.”

Lando narrowed his eyes. “You love them more than me.”

Y/N smirked. “Obviously.”

“WHAT—”

“Daddy, share Mama,” Noah said, giggling.

Lando scowled playfully. “You share Mama.”

“Nooo, she’s my mama!” Noah argued, wrapping his little arms around Y/N’s waist protectively.

Leo, not understanding but wanting to be included, immediately clung to Y/N’s other side, glaring at his dad. “Mineee!”

Lando gaped at them. “EXCUSE ME. That’s MY wife.”

“OUR Mama,” Noah corrected.

“MY wife,” Lando argued.

“Mamaaa, tell Daddy stop,” Leo whined.

“Tell them to stop taking my wife!” Lando shot back, crossing his arms. “She was mine first!”

Y/N, now laughing, leaned into her giggling sons. “Sorry, babe. Looks like I’ve been stolen.”

Lando huffed, narrowing his eyes at his children. “You two little thieves.”

Noah stuck his tongue out. “Hmph! We win.”

Lando grumbled under his breath, stabbing his pancake with unnecessary aggression. “I’m calling the police.”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “For what?”

“To report two tiny criminals who stole my wife.”

Noah and Leo giggled uncontrollably.

But Lando wasn’t done.

If they were going to steal Y/N, then he was going to steal her back.

***

Later that afternoon, Y/N was sitting on the couch with both Noah and Leo snuggled up beside her. Leo was sleepily sucking his thumb, curled up on her lap like a little kitten, while Noah rested his head against her shoulder, humming quietly as she ran her fingers through his hair.

Lando stood by the doorway, watching with pure, unfiltered jealousy.

No room for him. Again.

Enough was enough.

With a determined look, he marched over, squeezed himself onto the couch, and shoved Noah aside—gently, of course, but enough to make space.

“Daddy!” Noah whined.

“Shhh. I’m taking my wife back.”

Lando wrapped his arms around Y/N and dramatically buried his face in her shoulder. “I miss you.”

Y/N, amused, simply ran her fingers through his curls. “I was literally with you all morning.”

“Not enough.” Lando lifted his head, glaring at the two small humans beside her. “They hogged you.”

Noah pouted. “Mama is ours.”

“No, she’s MINE,” Lando corrected, tightening his grip around Y/N like an overgrown koala.

Leo, still sleepy, mumbled, “Daddy…no fight Mama…”

“I’m not fighting Mama, I’m fighting you two,” Lando muttered.

Y/N laughed, wrapping an arm around her overly clingy husband. “Aww, my poor baby.”

Lando peeked up. “Am I your baby again?”

“Always,” she assured, placing a kiss on his forehead.

Lando smirked victoriously at Noah. “Ha. Told you.”

Noah huffed. “Hmph. Mamaaa, don’t kiss him.”

“I’ll kiss Daddy if I want to,” Y/N teased, pressing another kiss to Lando’s cheek.

Lando grinned like a little kid. “Heard that, Noah? Mama wants to kiss me.”

Noah made a face. “EW.”

Leo, still sleepy but watching everything, suddenly declared, “Mama kiss Leo too.”

Y/N cooed, immediately showering kisses on Leo’s chubby cheeks. “Of course, my love.”

Leo giggled, satisfied.

Noah gasped. “ME TOO, MAMA.”

Y/N laughed and kissed Noah too, making him giggle and hide his face in her shirt.

Lando watched in horror. “Wait, what about me?!”

Y/N smirked. “You already got yours.”

Lando gasped dramatically. “But I need MORE.”

Noah smirked. “Daddy, you said we were stealing Mama, but you are the clingiest.”

Lando blinked.

Noah grinned.

Y/N burst into laughter.

Leo, still sleepy but wanting to participate, softly mumbled, “Daddy lose.”

Lando groaned, slumping against Y/N. “I hate it here.”

Y/N kissed his cheek again, making him perk up instantly. “Better?”

“Hmm. Maybe one more.”

Y/N laughed but obliged, pressing another soft kiss to his lips.

Noah and Leo groaned in unison. “EWWWW.”

Lando smirked at his sons. “Heh. MY wife.”

And with that, the war for Y/N’s attention continued.

Lando may have lost some battles, but he would never surrender.

END

[krillkrunchz]

Gₑₙₛₕᵢₙ cₕₐᵣₐcₜₑᵣₛ ₐₛ yₒᵤᵣ bfₛ!·.𖥔 ݁

(I didn’t expect for anyone 2 genuinly like my writing but yipee so more stupid stuff but hcs now also I figured out how 2 decorate yipeeeee)

╰┈➤Sfw,occasional comedic cursing,possible ooc(out of char)

—·.𖥔 ݁Kinich₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

—Hugs from behind when cuddling

—Big spoon :3

—Suffers from PTSD of his past

—Puts Ajaw in a glass soundproof box when he’s in timeout

—He’s the one that usually cooks

—Plans ahead a lot

—The listener of the relationship

—Dislikes but open to PDA

— · 𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ��Wanderer☽˚｡

—Hugs from behind

—100% the little spoon

—There is a curse word between every 3-4th sentence of this lil bitch

—DO NOT LET HIM COOK HES GONNA BURN THE FUCKING HOUSE DOWN!1!1!1!1!

—Outright HATES PDA

—THE gossip girl(Boy)

—Most likely won’t celebrate holidays unless you force him to

—Yapper 1 of relationship

—₊˚.⋆Lyney⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊⁺⋆

—Big spoon but likes being little spoon at times

—LOVES PDA!he wants everyone 2 know your his <3

—Sometimes brings you onstage to show off how much he won the lottery to have such an amazing partner

—Brings you TONS of roses

—Taking cooking classes from “Father”(Arlechinno) at the moment

—Loves Talking!definitely a yapper

—Rarely curses but if he does it’s when he’s mad

—100% switches to French when he curses lmfao

— ₊⁺⊹Bennett⁺˚.ᯓ

—Somtimes worries you’ll leave him because of his bad luck

—Absolutely adores PDA to show the one thing of good luck he has <3

—ONCE AGAIN….THIS DUDES BAD LUCK MEANS HES GONNA BURN DOWN THE HOUSE IF HE COOKS

—At first he was anxious and scared that his bad luck would hurt you

—Small spooner heh

—Carries unnecessary amounts of first aid stuff

—Overthinks ALOT when it comes to trips

—Doesn’t curse at all(4kids censoring ahh)

—Listener!loves hearing your voice

|dividers on this post is by CafeKitsune go check em out :D