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hey. pspsps. for whenever u need it. hands u a Talk About Yuor Beasts ticket for azrael and kenix. disappears into my shrub again. woe
HELLOOOO HAI. I FINALLY WROTE THIS HOLY SHIT. just to prepare you people, this thing is going to get LONG. EXTRA LONG COMPARED TO MY USUAL OC RANTPOSTS. 57 paragraphs and about ~7000 words. Yeag ^_^ read at your own risk and if you have a Lot Of Free Time Alrightsies? And also if you want to hear about fucked up and doomed little queer guys! I had tried to cover everything about azranix in here so let's goooo !!!
okay so first of all i will Definitely be reusing some of the old info i have already said about them before because Yeag ^_^ it is definitely needed for context for all the other people that have been following my blog and never read my previous rant posts. And those who just Never Saw Said Oc Posts dhehdsh just so this all would make some sense
and God. i've had kenix and azrael for abouttttt 2+ years by now i think ? ? and their story have changed a lot but GOD they still have such a grip on my soul.,,, cannot think about them without being Plagued very intensely and extremely and severely. they were this one Thing but then their dynamic and relationship evolved and so did they as people and it makes me So Sick of them soemtimes i swearrrr.. . .
so to start off! yeah the already known thing is that they're part of the seven deadly sins order of characters but to make it easier i'll just call them either sins crew or seven sinners. For my own Convenience. The concept of the sins crew is that they are mirroring the main original timeline cast. While the main cast is blessed by the divine in the name of keeping peace of their perspective duties. the sins crew Unfortunately did not get such treatment. To be part of the sins crew is to be abandoned by the gods above Basically. which is exactly their fate! they have curses and not blessings and. to make it short that's just how they have been punished for even having desires! Quite Unfair,, , ,
each of them have their own perspective sins and here, azrael and kenix have envy and lust as their assigned sins respectively. each of their actions that lead to this point are represented by said sins ofcourse but in their own ways (so No not That kind of lust for kenix i know please do not) i think i have explained all the needed context before i get to both of them on their own and then together ^_^ firstly i'll explain azrael because Yeag.
azrael is kind of. Complicated to say the least. a living weapon of some sorts! grown up in a hostile environment where the sole goal was To Win. there was little importance in personal happiness because it was all either to kill or to be killed. and he just grew tired of it yk? his hands only knew the warmth of blood and not the warmth of an another person. A dull and terrified view on life. He could only yearn to know how it is like to live normally without having to worry about being someone's next target.
and then there was someome who knew such happiness. a nameless girl, so full of life. just like him, she had no name from birth. Only a serial number. But yet. She was someone that had no worries like he did. Someone who Had So Much. stood right next to azrael. It felt unreal. Like a dream! A false scenario because surely! Surely that kind of bliss wasn't possible in his world! and yet. Yet. someone knew that feeling that he wished to knew the warmth of himself. Was right in front of his eyes. But he also was envious of her to some degree deep down. envious that she had what he yearned for his entire life while working with these bunch of assassin-esque people. but also!
it is very very safe to say that she meant Everything to him. Like how could she not? her attitude changed his worldview on such a fundamental level that azrael was. Fully convinced that he wouldn't be able to exist without the bright colors she intergrated into his life. spending all of his time with her. her happiness and optimisim was everything he needed. It (the whole relationship) wasn't even exactly anything to Her. like both of them very much saw each other as friends! but azrael meant something different by friends Me Thinks,, , , more like a person that he committed himself to.
"oh you are my friend and i am yours? okay then you have my devotion now. We are Friends and More Than Friends at the same time now :)" like they had something Very Intense and at the same time so one-sided. which is Unfortunate for azrael because! Wow my dude you trusted someone So Much you have let your guard down! Bad Choice my guy! because now it wasn't azrael who was the target. It was her. the nameless has been seen with him so many times that she was in danger because of him. and since he has let his guard down it led to. You know. Her death eventually happening.
the loss of the nameless girl not only broke azrael but changed his worldview once again. Because now he wasn't just apathetic to the entire world around him like he used to be before she appeared in his life, but he despised everything about the world. he was so jealous because now seemingly everyone had everything he had ever wanted! that source of happiness! something he had just mere moments ago! the warmth of blood on his hands coming back to haunt him!
It felt nauseating to see others have that joy. and in a series of overthinking it all, he came to the conclusion that. The others surrounding him have decided to keep happiness a secret from azrael. they were all on it. They knew what they were doing when she died. it is like they have purposefully taken the girl whom meant the world to azrael away from him! but of course how could he not see the truth that was displayed in front of his him this whole time!
coming to that conclusion utterly broke everything azrael knew and built it all anew. His envy was ever so clear to see. he knew that the people surrounding him wanted him to keep being envious of their joy. And so he just decided to ruin it all for them! after all. how come they get to have such happy moments while he has to be left behind in the dark, destroying his youth away for this constant cycle of death to keep going in circles on and on? it felt so utterly unfair to him. There was no use to continue doing what he always did when there wasn't a reason to keep doing it from the start besides living. and how could he live now without the person he treasured by his side?
in the end, his envy of others spiraled into a huge breakdown and caused him to go on a rampage. there were no exact names as his targets, only what his heart and shattered mind told him was the target. and that whole ordeal lead to quite a lot of deaths. ranging from people who at least were azrael's enemies from the past to some degree to innocent bystanders of the world who didn't know that azrael even existed
he found weird comfort in their deaths. Like "wow. i have finally gave in and destroyed what only worsened my misery and envy.. .," he kind of just, , did not feel sorry at all for the murders. even relishing in them in a ?. ? Way. but it all came back to stab him in the back. And Quite Literally too! that is what lead to his death and now his current state. being cursed and with the sin of envy being forever carved into him as a person, his jealously turned into pure venom. like Actually. he has venom running through his body, created from the purest desire for happiness. A man now destined to roam afterlife, forever seen as the pure embodiment of Consequences
so spiteful. so hateful at his very core. although he may be hiding it, but the Venom is present and is very obvious when you look closer into it! his only way to deal with this is to be distant from people. there is no reason to be conversing with the beings that once saw him as such a lowly being. azrael's way of thinking this through is just. Very confusing to say the least. he acted upon his desires but tries to rationalize them at the same time. trying to show that he doesn't care. No he doesn't care. . at least he is convinced so but Truly it is just ?.?? it is clampicated to describe for him. Or something
and now about kenix. Oh god This Dude Man. kenix is Incredibly Fuckjng Complicated as a person man. To start off, i will refer to him as his real name (Yi Dal) sometimes alright? kenix is Very Much a very deeply troubled guy that just represses such feelings. ever since he was born, he was in the dark. Metaphorically and kind of Literally?. since he was a child, he had the whole thing between him and his parents and just His family in general. which was Just Good Fucking Lord how much Inferior he felt to them. he was mostly, if not all the time, reduced to a "servant" for the family. which really contributed to him trying to seek value in himself through being useful to his family
obeying all the orders from his family? No questions asked, although it may hurt, he will at least get some attention. No matter positive or negative. he really just. didn't have a say in anything. for both of the parties, it is all just listening to what he is told to do. And his parents and siblings made that decision consciously. there was never any reason for him being neglected. not that kenix even knows of one! but it was like he was destined to be unacknowledged by them.
kenix was scared to take up space, because what if they find something to be angry about? Something to scold him for? Something to hit him for once again? he may be seeking attention but not in the form of being yelled at or having objects thrown at him. such treatment is still terrifying to him to this very day, a haunting memory at best. He genuinely felt like a little tiny being not deserving of attention with how obvious it was that his siblings were favored far more than him.his parents' treatment towards him made him think that he doesn't have the right to exist in this place without value or a purpose.
the neglect coming from his parents, the humiliation from his siblings. the embarrassment of being treated like a stranger whenever the family was in public. all of those factors reinforcing the idea that kenix is nothing of importance or relevance into his consciousness. kenix really just wanted to be free damnit.he yearned for it, he prayed for such salvation to come save him on a random day of his life but there was. No response as expected. he had never properly felt the warmth of the sun and freedom, only the cold air in his room at night. feels kind of suffocating in here, doesn't it? such a sheltered view on the world. It really is No wonder that kenix wished to escape this place. lacking social interaction and awareness of the outside world, , A shame, really
yi dal had been planning his escape from this god forsaken household for so So long, and he has finally been able to execute it when he was still a teen, about 17 years of age. An opportunity so perfect it truly felt unreal to him. An opportunity to finally feel the fresh air for himself forever and ever? you mean it you mean it you really mean it ?? <- deep down he was so Hopeful man. Man. the first time he was outside in nature by himself?? oh yeag. Yeag that felt like heaven that he himself couldn't believe in. feeling the grass beneath him, the light wind in his face, the chirping of the birds sitting on the trees. what else could he have possibly been missing out on? neither kenix or i know how he has survived about 16 years alone as a 17 years old guy with no social skills or concept of how the world really worked. he did make a fool out of himself but. He got the hang of it! Kind of! Normal social life was hard to get used to but!! ^_^
it truly was impossible for him to predict that at the age of 33, he would be found by his siblings and eventually tracked down, oblivious to what was planned for him. poor poor yi dal. only barely made to his early 30s and yet There It Is. Him laying on the floor, completely devoid of his ability to move his body. a small puddle of blood. Was it his blood? Was the blood of his brother he had manage to stab before being paralyzed? no reason to ponder that now, for he could only watch what was about to happen to him and. That was The Most amount of fear he had ever ever felt in his life. nothing could come close to how he felt when he saw his sister holding something in her hands, his brother following behind her. there were so so many things they could do. and it scared him on such a deep level that he didn't even know existed.
there he is now, a dead man walking and roaming the afterlife. the difference between him and azrael is that kenix acted upon his deepest desire only after he had been killed. the desire to avenge himself. to feel what it was like for his family. to be one of the higher-ups. To finally feel Superior. lusting for power in a way that breaks his morals (hence why this guy is assigned lust as his sin). a desire so strong it basically just Breaks Him Completely. In a way that leaves him so vulnerable that just. Makes him so easy to take advantage of. Disturbingly Too Easy. And that is exactly what fucking happens!!
"prometheus", or well, ephai is at fault here for that. no longer having a physical form, they saw a vessel so perfect in what was left of kenix. A soul that has been shattered into pieces since the start. Kind of. He needed just a little bit of a kick to fall over the edge and never come back to what he was. And they have seen it as an opportunity to prove the existence salvation to kenix. You Know. The guy that even fully gave up on religion and "salvation". And it worked of course it worked on kenix that Little Hopeless Thing— yeag. I could go on and on about kenix and prometheus but this is about azrael and kenix not these two's toxic relationship
prometheus is the key to kenix achieving his goals and in a moment of desperation. When he was offered a chance to avenge himself. To strike back at the people who degraded him the most. To feel in power. He didn't even hesitate to agree to the offer which lead to a little "contract" of some sort happening between them and that's just how kenix has been cursed. kind of like being oblivious to the fact that the salvation he was promised was a punishment in disguise. but it's not like he cares now.. . he has stolen fragments of powers from all kinds of divine beings, all for the sake of fulfilling his own wishes. trading his sanity for power. to the point of almost worshipping the one who has given him this opportunity and making ephai to be a divine entity
kenix himself though, is now more than just a god-like being. he is the flow of time himself. But Uh Oh! Bad News Motherfucker! You are Not Alone in this! because to keep existing like this, he had to take the body of an alternate timeline version of himself. Which just so happened to be the Yi Dal from the main cast's timeline. Who was already part of the main cast. And so essentially while taking over Ken's body, he had to replace him altogether unless they switch hosts. which kenix forbid to do because Good God he doesn't want ken to have anything Really. reasons that i'll get to later because Yeag ^_^ another problem is that prometheus is Also There with them. a third wheel or something so no you got 3 whole separate people in a singular body
so now kenix got himself stuck in a situation where he has to keep up a kind of play. Not pretending to be the version of himself he has replaced per se, but to always appear calm, continue to be soft-spoken and amicable with a formal attitude. because such etiquette and manners are what have enforced into his subconsciousness by his family while he was still living in that household. The manners that have been engraved into his mind by his own will. The facade of not caring about his surroundings. He destroyed his chances to live normally for the sake of his desire. so now kenix just has to pretend that everything is fine when really. Really. he never felt like a person, let alone an indepedent one. it is always him being the shadow of someone else and not seen as someone of his own. previously being the shadow of his siblings and now to be the shadow of ken because. Kenix is not perceived as his own self. Not that he has an identity really! But we will Also get to that later ^>^
now to finally talk about azranix together. their relationship had a pretty Rough start i'd say. Like it wasn't bad! But with azrael's decision to purposefully distance himself from others.., it was Hard for kenix to get closer to him without exactly going against his boundaries. Yes, he did pay attention to when he was getting far too close for azrael's comfort. for what reason did kenix even try to get closer to azrael? Well You See ^_^ he just wants to playfully mess with someone! No other reason! Just innocent little teasing that's all! but both of them have started to note. A lot of things about each other. with azrael's distrust, he was very wary of everything single move coming from kenix. And kenix well just. Tried to notice all the details there are about the person he pursued to know. pure curiosity if you could say that. to azrael there was always Something that was off about kenix and to kenix there was always Something about azrael that peaked his interest.
at the start with how used azrael was with seeing people as some sort of assholes trying to ridicule him, he looked at kenix with a bit of disdain. What if he was also one of such people? Why would he try to seek azrael out of all people? There is that sense of cautiousness that haunted him and his actions. and kenix ultimately decided to become a non-threat in azrael's eyes. otherwise how could he get such an interesting and peculiar person to trust him? to lose on such a great opportunity? no! he had to do it. He Had To. (no no it's not for any particular reason you see, it is just. .)
with every single encounter they have had, azrael just kind of like. Questioned everything about this guy! What Is His Problem! Why Is He Trying To Pry On Me! and so on. and with enough amount of times of them meeting each other in various places, azrael just went "fuck it, i'll try to get the answers to my questions straight from him" and such thinking led him to the Confrontation part. with his frustration present, he really just could not wrap his head around the fact that someone wants to know more about Him. that someone would even find Him interesting. he is trying so hard to avoid such relationships for the sake of himself and. Others to some degree. That an idea that someone once again would want to be a companion to him is just a Bizarre Concept. and kenix answered his questions, albeit not exactly. only a smile and "Wouldn't you want a friend yourself, in this place?"
which is exactly what was needed to crack azrael's front, even just a tiny bit. perhaps kenix was right. this place was Lonely. So Incredibly Lonely. maybe even reminiscent of azrael's past. and that made him realize just how much worse the situation was. to finally be aware of he had to stay here like this for hundreds of years, if not thousands. If not for all eternity. Destined to slowly disappear into thin air. with a few other people who are just like you by your side. a reminder that everything that could've saved you has Abandoned You. Even the divine above have abandoned you. A reminder that there is no one. And nothing. that is coming to save them. He is Alone. And Will Be Alone. his decision to distance from his only source of human interaction has always been a self-fulfilling prophecy of him swallowing his own venom. denying himself everything out of envy and hatred that is wallowing inside him. like a serpent on his shoulder. azrael is just a self-fulfilling prophecy of self-destructive at times that it is like Hey Dude. Please Don't Continue To Do That.
realizing just how fucked up everything in this situation is possibly may have made him just a tinyyy bit Desperate. more willing to finally open up to others a little. more accepting of letting people into his life. It is so fascinating that a single question from kenix is what managed to change his mind. azrael letting his guard down after so long! truly a miracle that we Cannot tell the aftermath of. and thus azrael has started to seek kenix out on purpose while still noting more things about him. Trying to figure him out like what kenix has been doing this whole time, you know? if kenix gets to pry on his life, then azrael might as well just do the same
it was a slow, slow way of actually getting to know each other at a deeper level because kenix. Like always. has tried to keep his past and his general life a secret. A mystery of some sorts. he wasn't really an enigma, azrael just. Never could figure out things about his family, his past life and what else has brought him here like the rest of the sinners. there were always moments about his story that he always left out on purpose. he never went into detailing anything he explained about himself. giving azrael only (mostly) surface level bits of information about himself. and azrael well, did much the same because he still felt that kenix shouldn't be trusted fully.
despite all that, azrael and kenix did manage to start bonding more! they both learned more about each other's story and felt. Sympathy for each other's struggles. as well as bonding over facing the same Horrors™ each day and they just had to learn to get through it together. To survive the troubles with each other by their side. learning more about each other through such dangerous encounters with the unknown things unable to be communicated with. having to find comfort in each other's presence if you understand what i'm trying to convey here. which then evolves into far more intimate moments being shared between them both where one helps the other with his problems and their opinions of each other turning into "ohh so we are one of the same to some degree. then i'll trust you more because i have seen you struggle with the same problems i have in the same way i do"
with the circumstances they were in, they got attached to each other's company Pretty Easily. considering how both of them severely lacked such companionship in their lives. it was a change of pace for the both of them For Sure. after years and years of being together, the trust they built in their relationship was Incomparable to anything else to be honest. they knew each other so so So long that it is now like both of them wouldn't be able to get anywhere without each other. they both had their own reasons for pursuing each other in this sense in specific but for kenix. it always was a desperate attempt for find someone to be there for him covered up as curiousity. kenix has always and Always followed orders his entire life, at first from his family now to listening to whatever prometheus whispers in his mind. his decisions always had this underlying tone of not being by free will. he does what he is told to do.
But trusting azrael and trying his best to be a trustworthy person in his eyes is the first decision that kenix has done by himself. It was his own free will which wanted to befriend azrael in specific. clinging onto him, knowing that azrael could be the one person to understand his troubles. kenix is very much aware of his fate being abruptly ended at some point and he knows that it will come soon. It is only a matter of time. following the orders of prometheus is the only way he can buy himself time to survive. Because he Needs to.
He must persist and keep living. he grasped at the concept of him being allowed to live only if he brings value to others for this long that. he just couldn't bear the thought of becoming Nothing if he wasn't anything of such value. seeking attention and validation through all means possible. all of his terrific actions had no reason other than desperation for recognition behind them. A villain who seemed to be enjoying all of this has only done this for the sake of surviving an another day.
Yet. every time kenix wanted to actually open up to azrael, it turns into a blockage in his throat. Unable to speak up, becoming a voiceless being of some sorts., , the reason being the fear of rejection in his soul. Kenix had to grasp at anything that would've given him a purpose. being prometheus's vessel was exactly done out of that desperation he wasn't even aware of. without the facade, kenix is No One. there is No One behind his carefully curated formal facade. Nothing but an incoherent mess. kenix lacks an identity. But the lack of it, then, is his identity: nothingness, absolute null. All of his emotions and feelings have always been repressed and they continue to be repressed even now. So no matter how hard he tries to differentiate himself from others, he'll end up being someone unintentionally because there is No Originality in him. And that is exactly how there is nothing about his real "self" that he thinks people would want to stay for.
with how much kenix has been repressing his emotions, discarding them and thinking of them as "fake" because he thinks that anything he felt emotionally is a lie. Because he built his whole self on a lie. A lie that he wanted this. he has now managed to lie to himself. thinking that the affection and love he holds for azrael is not real. That their bond is not real. That if he tried to show what he has been hiding behind his front for years, he would drive azrael away from him. When their relationship very much is real! kenix has no idea how to tell what was true and what was fake in him apart, so he just decided to think that everything he feels is a lie
yet. The repressed feelings, the suppressed emotions. They're all still there. Forming an incoherent mess inside of his mind and body. but even then without that mass of emotions, there is nothing else about kenix that is distinct. pure nothingness. and it Truly Scares him to even think of a scenario where azrael finds out what hollow husk of a man kenix is beneath his facade. The fear that azrael would be disgusted. That he would see him as a lowly creature. so kenix can never be truly honest about himself with azrael out of fear that the only person who understood him will leave. he tries to be so careful when talking to azrael lest he would let something about him slip. he can't just lose someone him, no.
but azrael is patient with him, he always has been. he shall wait all the needed time until kenix finally gathers the courage. he may not know what kenix has been meaning to tell him this entire time, but he can see his attempts ever so clearly. kenix is trying his best and azrael wants to make sure that kenix knows that it's alright. azrael may not be an overly kind and positive person but. If it means that someone who needs to be reassured will hear it. Well then. . . yet kenix could never be able to wrap his head around how that could be true. because of how much he was used to the lie he convinced himself with. he has told himself the same thing over and over again so many times that finally being told the opposite truth is just Shocking to him. the fact that someone doesn't want him for his value but for who he is a person
to bring back a previous point, kenix's problem with ken too, is just how much ken makes kenix realize that he is the extra one of the two. Ken had a normal life, he had a normal family, he had everything, ken had it all !. and kenix had nothing to himself. All of it - stolen. it is not even his own physical body, but the body of the original. he is perceived as someone else, he is not distinct from that someone at all in the eyes of others. despite all of his attempts to show himself as an independent person, he will forever be considered. A shadow of someone else. a shadow of the original and it pains him. and now azrael and the other sinners are the only people to ever treat kenix like a person. not like he is somebody else. But his own self. And he couldn't be more grateful that they do. That Azrael Does.
yet he can't be honest. No. No that would destroy everything he has built. everything he has worked for. but the desire. The wish to stay true to the only person he ever would consider being honest with. it has only grown stronger. The reason why he hasn't managed to tell azrael anything is solely because kenix simply felt like it wasn't the time. it will never be the time. so his one and only option was to finally tell azrael his real name. Yi Dal. although it doesn't seem like much, azrael understood the importance of this to kenix. from connecting the pieces of kenix's past story from everything he has ever told him, he could figure out that kenix only has bad associations with his real name regarding his past.
maybe. Just maybe. he could change his view on his real name, the same way kenix changed his view on his surroundings. To become the positive association that is worth remembering whenever kenix is referred by his real name. To be that something to look back at fondly.
And then the Creature™ phases come around with each of them turning into some sorts of fucken beasts ^_^. the cursed forms that in all shapes and forms represent their desires and their inner selves. for each sinner and other curse bearers, these forms are different. but for azrael and kenix.
azrael's form is completely unable to speak in full sentences. it barely speaks Actually. seeming to be straight-forward but it only just shows how azrael was not able to speak out what he thought. he was all action and no talk. which is exactly how his rampage started. he only came to conclusions from so much overthinking and hasn't tried to communicate with anyone. he just thought ot everyone as a traitor and shallow people. it really highlighted just how much he trusted his jealousy and envy rather than confirming things for himself
yet the creature seemed. More over fine with kenix's presence. Like he wasn't just a little friendly being to him! he still lashed out and acted irrationally because this form reflected on azrael's loses and overthinking that jumps straight into conclusions! but he still acted less aggressive with kenix. he didn't need to overthink his actions because of the trust he has in kenix. a bond that was stronger than the envy whispering all sorts of things into his ears. He Knows that he doesn't have to doubt him. yet he is Stuck in this box. a labyrinth of constant hesitation to Trust not only others but himself too. he wishes to free himself from such shackles but it is hard. it has always been hard to let go and change his mindset when it always was his only defense mechanism from being hurt. all of these struggles shaping themselves as a scorpion, a serpent, a venomous creature. something that symbolizes hidden danger. and yet, kenix has found beauty and something to love in such a devasting depiction of his partner. the purest way to show what he truly felt. how much he just hid this somewhere inside of himself. something that he couldn't help but feel pity for
and kenix shall do anything to prove that even then. it's going to be okay. he knows it's okay. azrael has always told him it is alright to feel like this, so surely he meant it for everyone? all struggles will pass eventually and you'll become stronger than ever, that's what azrael has told him a long time ago. even if kenix doesn't see a future for himself, he wants to make that promising future for his only love. To help him become resilient Together. He knows that azrael can do it, he had been through so much. he know he could get through this as well and break free from the curse.
and as for kenix's cursed form and the overrall story it is. So much more .? ?. his cursed form is much more bizarre compared to others. a constant variation of geometrical shapes and other possible physical forms, emiting a some sort of glow. He has lost all of his human characteristics. The true form of his self. the mass of emotions and feelings that have been repressed for decades, even centuries, has finally spilled over. creating a mess out of himself. A fool now no longer bound to a facade but is now letting all of that anguish out. so much madness, frustration and sorrow suppressed in him that is now out in the open for everyone to see. a being no longer able to communicate, for he has turned into something that is only capable of Wails. Sobs out loud. Muffled screams of agony. so many emotions he had yet to properly address yet that it is all coming in as an overwhelming wave of terror. he can no longer hide himself beside a neatly made front
a seemingly unapologetic "villain" reduced to a sorrowful creature. a being so clearly desperate for freedom. to know who he is. to finally be free from these principles chaining him to a life of silence until his death. he feels that his demise is coming soon. and he can't do anything about it. for now he can only be a hostile monster. a vessel, a prophet for prometheus's salvation. because this was planned to be his end a long long time ago. this was his purpose. his only value. once this is done, he will be gone for too. finishing his duty, being allowed rest. despite how much he yearns to keep living. but kenix has always been about acceptance. acceptance of his fate. This Miserable Fate
yet azrael found himself only feeling sympathy, for this was the moment that he has finally learned about his partner's true feelings. and it hurt to hear someone so important and dear to him wallow in pain and anguish like that. that version of kenix was a hostile being, but he still so clearly needed help. he needed the courage to overcome this. to break free from prometheus's influence over everything he did because he never had confidence in such actions. and azrael wanted to help with just that despite their current barrier where they cannot understand one another. just like kenix helped him, he wanted to help kenix create his own future to look forward to. without death. with azrael by his side. to survive. to keep living just like kenix desired to this whole time.
the end of their chapters as cursed beings meant that the both of them could finally experience relief together. a moment of Bliss. the realization that it is over. they get to exist, unshackled from the burdens that once plagued their minds. a possibility for salvation. a chance to live without being bound to their past or their inner desires. just peace and tranquility, their one true wish
But Uh Oh! Bad News Motherfuckers! Y'all forgot this shit was a death timeloop! With how i previously mentioned that the actual protagonist of the story, Yaku, has started a timeloop rooted in the desire of saving what meant the world to him that was dying at the end of the journey. The same kind of important people who cruelly had their lives cut short. And The only other character aware of this timeloop was well. Kenix! with this sudden ending of lives for most of the casts, azrael had also became a victim to these abrupt endings.
having to witness his love's life fade away before his eyes, it is only natural for kenix to also be shocked at the situation that yaku is also stuck in. and this scenario is exactly how yaku became the last one to be cursed, his curse rooted in his one biggest desire. a selfish deed covered up as an act of selflessness. their timelines' restarting, the flow of time now looping on and on until yaku manages to save everyone from these deaths
kenix had no control over this, he was forced to watch the protagonist and his nephew descend into madness over a singular goal. while also having to relive his entire life over and over again. a cycle of misery for everyone involved. the others would never be able to realize that this was a timeloop, so the first and the original time they had done this. Has became their script. that everyone, including kenix, had to follow until the end
of course in the first few loops, kenix had also tried to do everything in his power to ensure that his friends. that azrael. would be safe from their gruesome demise. yet their endings had already been written as part of the unchangeable fate by the forces above. neither kenix or yaku had a chance at succeeding. despite kenix's own attempts to save his partner, there was nothing he could do. he could only Watch how his impending doom was slowly getting closer
it was Painful. he could see azrael, he feel him, talk to him, interact with him in general just like normal. yet it wasn't him. no that could never be azrael ever again. that azrael felt surreal. abnormal. like he was programmed beforehand. there was nothing new about him and he felt so Off. Because kenix was aware that this is just the repeating of their original story. it's like he talked to someone playing pretend. his original feeling of "this doesn't feel real (positive)" when he first met azrael has turned into "this doesn't feel real. (derogatory)" kind of feeling. seeing azrael like this was just tormenting. a painful reminder that he will, one day, leave him not by will. and kenix will have to learn to live without him
to live without the person who had shown him love and how to love for the first time ever. a someone who had changed the course of his life so much. brought down what kenix had thought of the world and built it anew. keeping his silence about the truth because now. it was the only the thing that he could never ever tell azrael. what he had seen that day. None of it. for his sake.
perhaps, if they had never met here. if they had met at a different time.
In short, they are so fucking Doomed.
smth smth. Yeag. Good Fucking Lord They Make Me Sick
#there are so so many things kenix wants to tell azrael. yet that fear lingering in his heart that becomes the obstacle in his throat.#kenix is scared of rejection by the only person he loved but azrael never would reject him in the first place.#azrael had always been a guide to him in the situations that seemed like they had no way out of.#knowing that he always had someone to rely on. someone to come back to and greet kenix with open arms.#while kenix was something else for azrael. That someone that brought joy to his life. Like the nameless girl.#azrael will always seek out kenix. he'll find him through any means possible. to make sure that he's safe#he doesn't want to repeat his reckless mistake after all.#this is not even talking about how they both take care of the same 12 yr old girl (sora) who is part of the sins crew#essentially becoming her parents. growing even closer to each other#this whole thing is why i like the idea azrael and 2nd main story arc kenix interacting.#kenix in a far better state of mind still grieving the loss of his beloved people. getting to see that one special someone again#a bittersweet thought.#however. kenix would no longer ever seek that kind of love with someone else. what he had with azrael Was Special#forever immortalizing it by keeping azrael's ring he had gifted him and remembering his partner.#to find someone else is to betray his only love. And he could never bear the thought of having to live with that#azrael may have been deleted from this reality with no one else to remember him. But kenix will forever keep him in his heart#perhaps if things were different. they could still be writing their next chapter together.#but i guess there's no point in lamenting about that now Huh?#okay but actually. CRYING AND SOBBIJG AND POINTING AT THEM. GOD THEY MAKE ME SO SAD.#“they had such a close bond that they meant everything to each other” “yeah idk man They're So Fucking Gay For Each Other”#yomo ocs?!#yomoart#ocs#kenix#azrael
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Season 8 was like 6 years ago(I feel old) and I know ppl have differing opinions on the Mr Echo thing (but it was intended, made it to storyboard and blocked animation and then dropped, soooo) but. I can see his recruitment p easily tbh. Bc the whole reason Dr J was in that lighthouse was because he was resurrected, forced there, and ordered to build Skulkin vehicles by Samukai. But Samukai in the flashback we see has already been deposed as leader of the Skulkin/Underworld. Which means the orders to do so most likely came from Garmadon.
And since Mr. E is one of the head honchos, he's likely an early arrival to the team, so I don't think Harumi has a whole lot figured out at this point, she's just got her Trauma and some Bad Influence Friends and an obsession with Lord Garmadon. So. Like. Plausible deniability road trip that she's just visiting important markers of Ninjago's recent past, all of which involve Lord Garmadon in some meaningful way; its sightseeing, its cathartic, and it gives her time to develop her dream Motorcycle Gang/Resurrection Cult. She's not looking for anyone at the Lighthouse, but she is looking for vehicle blueprints so she can be the Koolest leader on the block. But oops she looks in the basement and there's an Echo.
And she's flipping out bc??? A Ninja???? In the Lighthouse basement??? I mean it makes sense that it would be this one but???
Except this rusty old robot has no idea what she's talking about with this Ninja stuff, he's just waiting for his dad to come back.
And Harumi pauses.
Because how long has he been waiting? He's not sure, he had no proper way to measure time in the basement, and he doesn't have the best view of his clockwork heartpiece. But it was after his father saw a strange ship docking; Echo was worried it was the People who had locked up his father in the first place, but instead his dad sounded happy when he saw whoever was out there. It could have been a front, though, as clearly it was never safe to let Echo back out. Then Dr J popped down briefly, while everyone above was resting, to tell Echo he was desperately needed elsewhere, that it wasn't safe to bring Echo, but that he'd be back in no time.
And the pieces are fitting together for Harumi. And she's like. Your dad's dead, bro.
And he's like. What? Did he die doing what was needed of him?
And she's like. Oh, no. He died a few years later.
And he's like. Why didn't he come back for me????
And she's like. Probably because they kept him away.
And he's like. Who's they?
And she's like. The Ninja I was talking about earlier.
And it surely can't be hard in universe to find pictures of Zane and Dr J post s2-pre s3, so she pulls one up and shows Echo who is freaking out bc why is that one kind of like him and Harumi explains that that was the droid his father created first, that he became a Ninja, and that hes probably the one who took their father away and kept echo waiting for years.
But Echo has doubts, shocked as he is abt a new older brother, he wants to believe the good in the situation so he's unsure. But Harumi mentions that the Ninja's failures to uphold more than their self preservation/interests has led to uncountable losses and devastation in Ninjago time and time again, before delving into her own story. And she seems so kind, and so hurt, and I do think there's a genuine connection btwn these two that forms from this shared emotional torment that they decide came from the Ninja, and now Echo is more receptive.
And then Harumi gets to start her Garmadon pitch because wait! If Echo was made here, then that could only have happened because of Lord Garmadon. And she reiterates that he's the reason she and her city could have even survived The Great Devourer. And maybe Echo's family-by-creation left, maybe they were untrustworthy and lacking, but that's OK bc if you look at it all a certain way, Garmadon is more of a father to Echo than Dr J was. And Echo is a vulnerable, overwhelmed mess who just found out his dad fucked off for years without him and also died, and also he has a brother??? Who their dad clearly seems to have favored??? Did they even know about Echo??? Did they delight in their life free of him???
Basically. Kinda Spinel-core but getting abandoned and left completely alone does that to you. Especially when the first person to find you after being abandoned is a deeply hurt and misguided teen who is probably kinda desperate for someone, anyone else to see the Ninja the way she sees them.
#i was thinking abt the idea of citrusshipping#and how it could have flowed into Mr Echo. with morro as the vengeful influence tinting these#one sided experiences to associate ninja with loss#but theni was like 'wait a sec tho bc Harumi does that also and its her gang called the sons of garmadon#and if youre very carfeully squinting and cherrypicking out pesky details and nuance. like harumi would be.#echos existence is thanks to Lord Garmadon. and there is no better replacement dad than garmadon. you should be a son of garmadon.#and echo would probably listen and she could get him out the lighthouse and off the island'#and anyway i kinda ship Harumi and Echo now?#i like citrusshipping its funney but i think i actually ship this dynamic now#its. fucked and manipulative but its also like. genuine and just. two scarred young people and harumi gives echo her distorted view#of the world as the gift of her love#so its like she wasnt trying to manipulate echo. not like she was trying to manipulate Lloyd.#but she did take someone in a v fragile state and begin shaping his worldview to match hers. unconciously but still done.#like i can also see her bringing him to the mainland and she and UV and Killow are his tethers which means everything he sees radicalizes#him further...and draws him in closer to the fold#anyway if he and harumi smoochie kiss then shes why he got rebuilt in Crystallized. also i think mr F stands for 'Mr Fun Guy'#echo zane#harumi jade#ninjago harumi#quietmystery?#idk what the ship name would be but im here for it#mr e ninjago#mr echo#echo/harumi#tbh i said i kinda ship it now but it could also be friendship#sons of garmadon#...ok til abt the morro-echo-harumi trio hcs and Yes#this is just more of a like. canon compliant ish take where morro is still gone from the narrative#love the idea of the 3 in a vengeance trio tho
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There’s this trend toward kind of villainizing self sacrifice going on and it’s honestly kinda baffling
#i think maybe because the concept of sacrifice mixed with the atmosphere of loss of personal dignity#in which people assume they are worthless and throw themselves away with sacrifice as an excuse#but you know what. if someone loves someone enough to sacrifice for them#they are not at the point of thinking of themselves any more#they are completely wrapped up in the other person#and saying they are WORTH it#i don’t think I’ve seen anyone legitimately try the self sacrifice move as a way of throwing themselves away#usually it’s something else#i kinda think it’s our fear of loss and suffering talking more#but idk#like one must sacrifice and one must grieve and suffer in hope! the sacrifice ISNT easier when you actually have to try it!!! but the grief#isn’t easy either!#that’s why you got Christ on the cross and his mom and best friend there#in the act of redemption#they were participating! they were THERE in the middle of it! it was in a way their sacrifice too as well as the greatest gift that could#ever be given them!#idk idk just some musings#sacrifice is different than being thrown away and very often sacrifice is not done as a means of throwing away#idk if you can if it comes down to it
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this is my little girl 💖
she’s running low on time with us, and my dad has been saying things along the lines of ‘this is why I don’t like pets’, because he finds the grieving process so hard.
I don’t fault him for that, he just feels loss deeply and deals with it differently.
sometimes I even find myself falling briefly into the same thinking. ‘what if making a different choice all those years ago saved me and my family from this grief and this pain?’
but I also know there’s no way I would make a different decision. no amount of grief could outweigh the joy she’s brought us over these last fifteen years. the laughter, the comfort, the connection.
I think about hikes with my dad when she was tiny and able bodied and would race up ahead of us on the trails and then race back to check on us. I think about the first time she saw snow and she instantly turned into a tiny fluffy bunny rabbit, hopping through drifts that were ankle deep for us but nearly buried her, and the matted snowballs she came away with, looking like a tiny curly haired yeti.
I think of her interrupting GrammE and John’s wedding along with Sagie, confusion turning into laughter as they sped after each other across the backyard ceremony. I think of my mom, lonely on the island and isolated during covid, telling me that Ginger was her saving grace.
and these don’t even scratch the surface. fifteen years of love she’s given us.
so yeah. losing her is going to damn near break me and I know that. but I wouldn’t change it for the world.
#you don’t have to read the post I just want people to look at my baby#if you have non-human family members give them a little extra love#I’m trying so hard to remind myself that not only have these last fifteen years been a gift#but these last six months or so have been a straight up miracle#I love her so much#I worry about how my mom is going to cope with her loss#she’s my best friend but she’s lived with my mom since my mom moved out#and so she’s been a daily companion to her and part of all of her routines#on one hand I’m relieved because caring for a dog especially an aging and disabled one#is a lot of work and my mom herself is already disabled and needs additional help#(and sometimes that resulted in me worrying that both of them weren’t getting proper care for their health)#but on the other hand I do think Ginge had been the biggest part of combating loneliness for my mom#especially after losing Tan#anyway I’m uh maybe crying too much to type now so I’m gonna call it#but I might post more photos of my little old lady baby over the next few days#because I love her and I think other people should too lol#personal#tw pet death#tw pet loss#(she’s not gone yet to be clear but I’m tagging these for other people’s sake bc I know it’s upsetting)#(she’s in the final days/weeks of kidney failure just in case anyone is wondering why I’m making assumptions about her passing)#toy poodle#poodle#pet#dog#puppy
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@beatingheart-bride
Emily's kick seemed to really do the trick, as Nicholas let go of Randall's neck and rolled off of him in a daze, while Randall himself coughed and gasped for air, rubbing his sore throat while Nicholas groaned, seeming dazed as he struggled to his feet, legs wobbly as he did. He made a feeble attempt at rushing one of them (given how unfocused his gaze was, it was near-impossible to know who), but in doing so, he earned a punch across the jaw from Elizabeth, causing him to stumble back, swaying on his feet as Randall, having recovered, got to his feet, eyes dark with anger.
In that moment, he remembered. He remembered it all-searing pain across his throat, Emily's terrified screams as his disembodied head gushing blood soared through the air, landing in a lonely hatbox. It filled his stomach with acid, set his blood ablaze, filled him with a righteous anger that made his vision turn red, and his hands ball into fists.
Honestly, he could've killed Nicholas where he stood-he very easily could've made him feel everything he made him and Emily feel, that lifetime ago. But to stoop to his level...that sickened him, and so, as the coup de grace, Randall socked Nicholas clean in the nose, finally knocking the lout out flat on the ground. He lived, only knocked out cold by this finishing punch.
"What should we do with him?" Mrs. Henshaw asked, tempting to give him a kick in the side for good measure, but Beau, as he checked on everyone, replied with a shrug, "I say we leave him here, to be quite honest. By the time he comes around, we'll be long gone, and if he tries to tattle on our little plan, well...who's going to believe him? To the ears of everyone in New Orleans, it'll sound like Mr. Pennyworth was bitter that Dorian upstaged him, upset that he didn't get to have Emily's hand, and is trying to drag him through the mud out of spite, and with an outlandish-sounding story to boot. He'll be ostracized, and I believe, to him, that'll be a fate worse than death."
There was a murmur of agreements at this, as Dorian wrapped a loving arm around Elizabeth's waist, pulling her close to him, while Randall embraced Emily, burying his face in her shoulder, so grateful that she was alright. His eyes were damp with tears as memories filled his mind, good and bad, and he swallowed hard as he closed his eyes.
Thank you, he thought to himself, to no one in particular-perhaps a guardian angel, if they happened to be smiling upon him (which he certainly felt they were). Thank you for this second chance-thank you for our life!
#((they're beating him together...as a FAMILY!))#((no but seriously; dorian did NOT hesitate-he knew were the roles reversed nicholas wouldn't hesitate))#((to put a bullet in him; and between that and knowing what nicholas had done to randall and emily))#((he ain't hardly gonna pull any punches hence the bullet-and honestly; nicholas isn't gonna go down easily))#((not without a fight! i think between the collective beatdown he's gotten and the fact that he'd bleeding out))#((he's either gonna pass out from blood loss OR make it back to town to get stitched up))#((and either way; however this ends; everyone will be long gone and no one will believe him!))#((everyone's gonna be too wound up about dorian and emily 'eloping' to pay him much attention))#((and if he tries to tell them the truth; they're not gonna buy it-so at the end of the day; nicholas loses again!))#((he got his ass beat in a six-on-one fight; got shot; and didn't get either revenge OR money!))#((and i love the idea of the rp ending with elizabeth's bridal shower! dorian would ABSOLUTELY go ham))#((putting together a VERY elaborate one; just as he did for the paces-maybe even moreso!))#((he'd be over the moon and would pull out ALL the stops to make it the most lavish baby shower ever))#((and considering dorian and elizabeth gifted the paces with some VERY nice baby clothes during their shower))#((i could see randall and emily putting their heads together to make some really pretty baby clothes in return!))#outofhatboxes#beatingheart-bride#V:Days of Future Past
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nothing makes my blood boil more than the self righteous tiktok commenters who decided it was their mission in life to tell people going to more than one eras tour show that they personally must be the reason why they couldn’t even get one ticket
#i’ve seen MULTIPLE videos today alone even on videos CLEARLY and i mean clearly explaining how they only purchased one set on their own#like the rest were friends buying multiple tickets when they got to presale or people surprising them with tickets as gifts etc#and it makes me so angry that they feel the need to have to explain all this so people don’t get mad bc they know they will and then !!!#they get mad anyway !!!! fucking passive aggressive in a like 16yos comment section abt how you wanted to take your daughter but#‘people like you are the reason why i couldn’t’ fuck off???? no?????? fucking ticketmaster screwed you over cry me a river elsewhere#i got mad sorry#i love seeing people excited to go on tour and some people no matter how disappointed abt their own circumstances#need to learn how to be happy for other people without taking away from themselves#when olivia said their win is not my loss. yeah#this has been a rant#eras tour#taylor swift
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my pothos :D when i got it vs now!
#rams garden adventures#been awhile!#gonna post my other plants after this one :)#theres. not many anymore#(the heat got to most of em... and what it didnt kill the spider mites did)#im just glad i still have plants honestly#i am sad about the losses though :( the string of pearls was a gift from my sister#now i have repurposed lokis tank into a plant house(added some grow lights to the top)#ive got a few cuttings propagating(outside of the tank)#(burros tail in two different pots the only jellybean stock that survived two string of pearl vines that i dont have much faith in-#cuttings from my first plant(kalanchoe) that got root rot and one cutting of a succulent that i forgot the name of but i loved)#(shooting stars? that looks like it. i have no idea what happened it just... dropped all its leaves and started dying?)#pothos has been doing great though! i do get a heart attack when i see a dead/dying leaf however#highly recommend they are lovely plants#i wanna get another lol
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#'hold your breath and hold on tight‚ hunker down‚ try not to cry'#'tell the critters that you love‚ that you love them‚ that's enough'#'cause there's no stopping what's to come‚ some shit's just etched into the stars‚ calamities you can't outrun'#it's been a difficult six months or so after being presented with some inevitable future losses‚ you kind of just disengage with everything#then try to stay distracted with busywork and things that don't take much focus. It's infuriating when something's happening and you#can't do anything to help or change the outcome or fix it. It's just there and happening and you have to watch and do nothing even knowing#where it's potentially going. And the worst part is‚ it can look like it's getting better and things can look promising‚ and in a span of#days it's all downhill. And I did not expect one of my stupid little distractions to punch me in the face with my reality‚ but here we are.#Our roof is finally fixed though‚ so there's that. It rained for two days and the rain stayed outside instead of coming in. It's been a#good number of years since that was the case. I learned how to make a custard pie last month. The spiral ham I like is on a good sale and#I'm getting one for Christmas. I gave in and spent $150 on UGG men's boots because the ones I had to buy to be in a wedding party five#years ago impressed me but were women's boots. They're super warm. I found a Christmas card that was the leg lamp from A Christmas Story to#send to a friend. Someone gave my housemate Wawa gift cards and now we're fully stocked on free egg nog. A rep at work brought me a little#holiday bag at work with a 'champagne' bottle of french vanilla hot chocolate mix and some nice candy. There's a squirrel who's gotten#spoiled by getting peanuts and now he hangs outside my second-story window on the tree and barks at me to demand more. Rent is going down#in my city of choice and hopefully things go well to move out of this city by the end of next year. Humans are going back to the moon. The#Webb Telescope has been showing us things at the edge of the galaxy I never thought I'd see. Otters and bats and owls and cats exist.#Humans have achieved net positive nuclear fusion...we made a star in a bottle. It's too early to be up right now on a Saturday.
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Design/Illustration client work is like pick two of these attributes: respectful client, well-paying project or artistically interesting. But know you’re likely going to get only one of those anyway
#if you have all three. never let go. call to wish them a happy birthday. send them wedding gifts. sell your newborn to them#most projects don't even have one of these qualities but like you have to love yourself and cut your losses then tbh
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"Discover the Significance of the Addison Disease Awareness Butterfly"
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This young man displayed the true prowess of alchemy to all, bringing with him a massive corpus of wisdom that even the Sumeru Akademiya did not possess. "The universe is heaven reversed, and the earth is a dream lost to time. This is dust, the most basic form of complex life." As if to provide evidence for this claim, Albedo lifted the burnt ash of the flower that once grew atop a Dendro Slime's head. Seconds later, a Cecilia sprouted forth from the ash in his hand. "And this… is new birth." (Albedo: Character Story)
When I've been wrecking my brain over whether or not Genshin draws the correlation between dust and ashes, and I happen to look into Albedo because of his tie (we can... call it that) to alchemy, and even the art of Khemia specifically which is the much more ancient form of it, and there it is. Now excuse me as I go ramble in my tags a little incoherently...
#[ mini study. ] she always sought to make everyone happy and one must say: she had quite the gift for it.#[ i've been mentally keeling over when it comes to creating a verse in which she's alive in present day. ]#[ because i don't like the idea of her surviving because i think the tragedy of her passing and then the destruction of the... ]#[ guili assembly is absolutely paramount to the creation and rebuilding of liyue harbor. ]#[ and also incredibly important to numerous characters; aka morax and all the adepti that she socialised with. ]#[ liyue's heart became intricately linked in its tragedy and loss. and it's from that-- that they built the most flourishing region. ]#[ or at least in my opinion. and it's why it's the region that speaks loudest to me. nothing hits quite as hard. ]#[ and nothing is quite as... touching. ]#[ nor do i find anything as incredible as all the adepti (gods included). but even the more 'minor' ones are so intertwined with... ]#[ liyue. and i just cannot deal. any way-- that isn't what this rambling was about. it was about bringing her into this... ]#[ embodiment of hope. of /life/. liyue. liyue harbour. ]#[ i just. i don't just want her in it for dynamics-- i mean yes i do. ten thousand times over i do. but also for /her/. ]#[ god i hear madame ping's words-- ]#[ of 'perhaps she will look at the liyue of today and steal a smile when she sees the prosperous land that it has become'... ]#[ because i need her to see-- no. not /see/ it. but experience it. feel it. /hear/ it. this little goddess who's always fallen in love... ]#[ with life itself through experiencing it in every way you can-- i need her to see liyue harbour. i need her to see... ]#[ what morax/rex lapis has created along with the adepti. what they've protected and continue to protect. but also /believe/ in. ]#[ i need her to see /that/. that on a level-- even if it wasn't done /for her/. i need her to see that something dear to her; her wishes. ]#[ those commandments. they're there. in the hearts of all of them. ]#[ i just.]#[ i also need to think about how she'd reform-- how she'd regain the corporeal form. is it something she's slowly gathering the power for-#[ throughout so long and she's able to again? would dottore/the gnosis/zhongli realistically be involved by for example... ]#[ using the gnosis as a battery-- something to collect/gather up elemental energy to allow her to reform faster? ]#[ as a... 'side' contract of sorts while it's given over? ]#[ would it not be needed? i just. lIFE COMES FROM DUST. I'M FINE. ]#[ god. this also ties into so many other hcs of her love /for/ humanity and /how/ she interacts within the concept of life as a whole. ]#[ it's fine. ]#[ ooc. ] wherever her spirit may be among the countless grains of sand and specks of dust between the harbor and the mountains…
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Infinite list of favourite lyrics: 221/?
Half Man Half Biscuit - Stuck up a Hornbeam (2014)
"I'm so desolate, I'm so all alone.
I feel arthritic in every single bone.
I've got a mynah bird -
It does nothing but moan.
For you, I'd lose
My self-esteem;
For you, I'd lose
My self-esteem;
For Crewe, I'd use
Junction 16."
#favourite lyrics#half man half biscuit#stuck up a hornbeam#nigel blackwell#urge for offal#2014#post punk#I'm admittedly late to the party with HMHB‚ despite being dimly aware of them for the last decade or two I'd never actually heard#any of their work until fairly recently‚ on a trip to a second hand record store where the owner was playing their (wonderfully titled)#2018 album No One Cares About Your Creative Hub So Get Your Fuckin' Hedge Cut. after chatting to him and laughing at the lyrics#i went home and looked them up and listened to a couple of albums all at once (as an aside‚ just going to record stores is honestly#a great way to discover music you haven't heard before‚ I've found several favourites this way)#Urge for Offal seems to be recommended by several critics as a good introduction to the band‚ with its guitar heavy pop punk#tight 3 minute songs and more up to date pop culture references (all of HMHB's back catalogue is bulging with wry references‚ jokes#and nods to bits of british culture‚ film‚ tv‚ history‚ music etc etc but as the band has been going since the mid 80s some of these lines#have drifted into obscurity for newer listeners. sure‚ i appreciate the Chigley drug parody but I'm weird‚ and idk how well known the#worlds of Trumptonshire are in 2023). regardless of accessibility‚ the band (and it's surprisingly difficult to find out who exactly is#writing their songs but some googling suggests lead singer and guitarist Blackwell is the key lyricist)#have a genius gift for witty juxtaposition of universal themes of love‚ loss and depression with hyper specific cultural illustration and#genuinely very funny jokes. the first time i heard this the 'for Crewe I'd use junction 16' line made me laugh out loud
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Oh Lexa, my poor baby.
I am so proud of you. You fought so hard and so bravely, but to ask anything more of you would only be indulging in my own selfishness. I set you free of your pain and suffering, you need not struggle to live one more day just for my sake. Take my love with you and go, be free. It is the final gift I can grant you in return for all you have given me.
I will always carry the warmth of you in my arms and feel it in my heart, because that is your home, and one day you’ll be back there again, where you have always belonged.
I’ll miss you Lexa.
Sleep easy, my love
#tw: death#tw: pet death#tw: pet loss#my beautiful baby lost her battle but she isn’t in pain or suffering#sometimes the greatest gift you can give your pet is knowing when to help them pass peacefully#and even if it hurt me terribly I saw in her eyes the pain she felt and the relief as it faded#the final look of clarity she gave me was full of such love#sorry to be such a downer but I love my girl so much and she fought with all her strength until she had no more#I couldn’t keep watching her struggling and hurting herself even worse#thank you for trying Lexa and thank you for blessing me with the honour of being your human companion#I would truly give anything for just one more meow; one more purr#but that’s selfish too#and letting her go was what was right for her- what I want didn’t matter#wait for me baby#I’ll get that meow someday!
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...you know, I might have to make sure I have the colors BUT I kind of want to make some LMK perler charms for my mutuals/friends of their characters now.
#Loss of Powers | {OOC}#The Scrolls | Mun Menu {Post}#And Y E S that means sending the charms too them too; I love giving friends gifts honestly and perler charms are so fun to make#I def want to make my own of Wukong and Macaque too; because of course#Maybe even a Xiuying one cause of the ship I have for all three of them~#BUT besides that...it would be fun to make some for friends
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The fainting couch
Back with my more rarijack nonsense. This time I decided to add a ship meme to make my headcanons known lol
I think Applejack would be very affectionate in most ways since she had to deal with loss very young and has learned to not take anyone for granted. Rarity doesn't mind this at all, she loves the attention.
Rarity's main love language would be gift giving, she'd make all sort of handmade things for Applejack and she would treasure every single one of them.
In my mind the got together during season 4 and are basically an established relationship for the episodes to come after.
Bonus doodle because I saw this picture and immediately thought of Applejack lol
#my art#mlp#my little pony#mlp fim#rarijack tag#rarijack#mlp rarity#mlp applejack#applejack#rarity#my litte pony friendship is magic#pony#horse yuri#lesbian
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