#like with my best friends its easier bc we like the same things and i know them so well but even then its hard

[hotroadkill]

today 2 years ago i was in america and i had the worst hangover of my life and i was in a waffle house with my friend in awkward silence bc we’d fought in a stranger’s kitchen the night before and the server refilled my water for the 5th time while i fought to swallow half a forkful of hashbrowns and she said “i know that look, y’all had a good time at the superbowl last night” and i was thinking actually we had a mediocre time at a nerd bar where u throw darts and all the drinks r named weird things and anyway my friend gives the fakest laugh ive ever heard followed by “yep we sure did” like are we in a CW show right now what was that line delivery and also what even is the superbowl i was born here and should know but honestly i’ve always just pictured everyone gathering at a comically large bowl of cereal but her nametag says leslie and she’s really nice and she’s refilling my water for the 6th time so yeah sure whatever i’m a red blooded american i’ll be anything for leslie in this moment anything and she tells us stories about working at bars downtown and my friend tells me bad jokes and i feel a little better even though my heart is kind of withering away because my flight is in 17 hours and theres not enough time never enough time i won’t see him for another year and a half and i won’t ever see leslie again and if i ever run into the italian stranger who fell in love with me over darts then it won’t be the same because we won’t be dancing and i’m sitting in a waffle house while the sun sets and i’m sweating gin and tequila and my flight is in 16 hours and i have so many goodbyes to say in this

city because when i was fifteen somebody threw my glass heart onto the floor of my childhood house and bits of it shattered everywhere and fell into the cracks of the floorboards and behind the fridge and i’ll never ever get them out much less back together but i feel like ive been trying for eight years all the same and my flight is in 15 hours but maybe if my friend brings me home now i can spend three of those looking for more shards even though i’ll cut my hand because time never wore down any of the hurt because time might heal wounds but it cant really do jack shit about a metaphysical glass shard its still gonna make me bleed and my friend brings me home and we curl up beside each other in my childhood bedroom thats too small for us it was really a supply room but it became my bedroom when i was eleven and i painted it blue and put up stickers of fish and never took them down but someone someday will take them down and hopefully the house burns to the ground before anyone can touch them theyre mine i grew up here theyre mine dont touch them dont please dont please please please i grew up here and my flight is in 12 hours now because i fell asleep beside my friend and he let me because he knew i needed it he kept watch even though we dont have time we never do because he has to go now and all i can give him is a hug and my hoodie to keep safe until i can see him again and fight him in a stranger’s kitchen again and the sun is gone now and i go and i sit with my dad and my flight is in 10 hours and im trying

not to cry im trying to stare at the stickers because maybe if i look at all of it hard enough i’ll get to stay but i dont because thats not how it works and now my flight is in 4 hours because i fell asleep in my childhood loft bed and now i have to leave i have to pack up and go for the fifth time and it never never gets easier and i know i only have a few more trips left until someone takes my stickers down and paints over my ocean but for now my best friend’s stepmother comes with me and my dad to the airport because my best friend is in college two states away and my flight is in 3 hours and i cry i cry so much and she cries too because she loves me and i think it is such a beautiful blessed thing that i am so loved but oh it is so painful too because i spend more time in its absence than its presence and my flight is in 2 hours and i have to go and my dad is waving goodbye and i see it because i looked back because im stupid i always look back i never look forward i’m forever walking blind through my life because i’m looking back and i can tell my dad is crying and now i have to go through TSA sobbing and it’s awkward because they ask are you okay kid and im not but i cant tell them sorry its just that when i was fifteen somebody threw my glass heart onto the floor of my childhood house and bits of it shattered everywhere and fell into the cracks of the floorboards and behind the fridge and i’ll never ever get them out i cant tell them that so i nod yes im okay and i go and my flight is in 1 hour and i hope it fucking crashes and my flight is in the air and im so far away from all those shards on the kitchen floor now but they’re hurting me all the same and i think i look kind of insane sobbing in the middle seat but how can i miss so many people and so many rooms at once and not lose my mind a little bit? i was going to tell you a short witty little joke about the time i realized i was 21 and didnt know what the superbowl was but i think i slipped on a shard. i’m sorry. maybe next time i’ll get it right. maybe in another two years. maybe you’ll never see me again. maybe this is all the time we had.

[snekdood]

bitches prolly out here psychoanalyzing my old art on behalf of my abuser to cushion their belief that im a Horrible Person but then dont see the irony when I point out the shitty things my abuser has drawn and how I see it as clear evidence of their mindset and beliefs (of what's okay to do and how to treat people) descending and pairing that along with everything else they've done and it paints a clear picture of how this person got to the point of thinking it was okay to abuse me the way they did and then the people looking for reasons to hate me through my art will act like "they're just drawings !!!" about their art. which one is it. does someones art say something about them or not? or does it only say something about them if you hate them?

[hyunrun]

hheuehe

[emotargaryen]

christmas in less than a week and i havent gotten anybody a present

[beelearnsfinnish]

weekly recap: week 01 [30.12.24-05.01.25]

i decided to start doing weekly recaps as a way to keep myself accountable not only with language learning but with all my studying in general. So, peep my new rug and Pikku Myy cup, as well as the moomin calendar i got for christmas! let's see:

studying

Finnish

As I said in my last Finnish update, I hadn't been doing much this past weeks. I've restarted again, but I'm aware this two months are not gonna be the best, since I need to focus in all my tests happening in February. Still, I wanna try and find time for it everyday, even if its just couple minutes.

I'll add the tracker of what I did this week (only started counting the 1st tho) but yeah managed to get a session of active studying and one of writing besides my immersion. I'll continue my lessons next week so looking forward to that.

My degree

To be honest I don't normally have to spend much time with this. I only have three subjects this year, and since I'm studying online and have no classes I don't need to do much during the year. The only stressful times are when I have to turn in papers and exams. This being said, I do need to turn in papers next two weeks, and I have my midterms at the start of February, so I am indeed stressed :D

I started revising the content for one of the subject's paper, which is already something. I usually get decently good grades without much stress since its the second degree im doing in the topic and almost everything sounds familiar already, but last two papers with this teacher didn't go that well (imo bc of her way aka inexisting way of explaining the papers) so im kinda pissed off :D

I didn't need good grades in this degree since its kinda useless having already my previous one, but since there's the possibility of going in erasmus again i want good grades to hopefully get into the program again. Soo, this next weeks I gotta grind and start doing the papers as well as start working on the units.

Hygieniapassi test

New addition! Since my plan is to move to Finland hopefully this year (still don't know how or when but we're getting there) and getting a job of my area (media production) is impossible without experience anywhere, I'd need to get a regular no studies entry level job and I thought I could make things easier for myself and get it before the move. I'm going there late February, so thats my deadline!

Actually signed up today for the exam. I have been working on the material in the app for the past two weeks ish, I only have two courses left to copy into my notebook (I physically can't retain any info if I don't write it myself) so I'm hoping to finish them before my papers are due! I still have to work on a schedule so I have time for everything, but pretty happy so far.

life updates

work

Christmas rush is coming to an end, but we have an inventory coming soon, which means extra hours and extra stress. Not the most ideal thing with all the studying I have to do, but we'll survive i guess :'D

hobbies & social life

To be honest I don't have much time for hobbies these days, but that's something I wanna change. Went to see Nosferatu with a friend at the start of the week (loved it) and we have another 3 movies lined up for the next weeks (can you tell i love going to the cinema). Also planning couple meet ups with different friend groups, this doesn't happen often since couple of them we don't see eachother in months, but seems like everything's happening at the same time. Stressful, but happy to get to see them!! Also meeting with my bookclub, so gotta finish the book of the month at some point.

Also something I'm super excited about, booked my flights to Finland!! Already mentioned I was going in February but actually having the flights its a life changer when it comes to waiting. Can't wait to be back 😊

media update

📖: The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue - V. E. Schwab

🎬: Nosferatu - 4 ⭐️

🎧: Nonbeliever - Lucy Dacus

[mothiir]

sorry to be that rehash that droid de suggondeez plotline (I REFUSE TO CORRECTLY SPELL FRENCH) with big e stealing a wife but could we pretttty ppLEAAAASE get some more mothiir? i am obsessed with the eldritch inhuman but human behaviour you write him with. it makes me want to chew on him while simultaneously wanting to beat him with a brick out of hatred. i have so many ideas. but ill take anything you offer up fr ill live off the scraps like a feral dog, its just that the the whole david and goliath vibe is TASTYYYY. please dignify my complete insanity for just an intsy winsy second because all i can imagine is how utterly FUCKED the stolenwife!reader's pov is. you try fight back a little too much? oh haha, ur so cute, but keep biting or scratching him and he'll sicc one of the custodes (or a few) to really try you out. let you be so overstimulated youre begging for something in you, and oh boy big e'll sooo do that dont worry. or maybe humble you by keeping you basically half bare like yeah not so cocky now LMFAO IM SO SORRY I NEVER GIVE PROMPTS SO BRAZENLY LIKE THIS BC IM A COWARD FULL OF SHAMEEE UR SO MUCH BRAVER THAN MEEE (thank you sm if you do or dont run with anything i spat out just then)

first of all, never apologise for requesting stuff and also i totally respect your disrespect of the French language. as an englishwoman i am contractually obligated to hate those frog-eating bastards (disclaimer: this is satire pls don’t cancel me). secondly i absolutely love your description of my interpretation of big e because it is also exactly how i feel about him. beat him with brick, pat hair, back to brick. I know i have moved away from that content but I still wave my emperor fucker flag and am always taking requests for him

i promise there will be actual coherent fic soon, but for now here is a bullet pointed list of the sort of things that guilliwife experiences (if there is one in particular you want a full fix of let me know):

the Emperor steals you, and does not think to tell Guilliman — why would he? He fucks you, enjoys it tremendously, then has to go and do some important Master of Mankind warp fuckery that means you spend about a fortnight in some random rooms with no one to talk to but the Custodes. And they barely talk! You never work out if they are bodyguards or prison guards, since you can’t imagine that you are important enough to warrant guarding, but you also don’t think that there is much effort needed to stop you escaping. Where would you even go?

It would be so much easier if he was always a selfish monster in bed — but he isn’t. Worse: he eats pussy exactly how you think a man with millennia of practice would. He likes bringing you to the very edge of orgasm and just stopping, pillowing his cheek on your stomach and watching as you whine and cry, partly with guilt and partly with sheer frustration. You end up begging him to fuck you, stumbling out every title you can think of — lord, emperor, sire, master — but his patience is limitless, and he can keep going for hours, until you’re completely insensible, promising every depraved thing if he will just stop teasing and put it in you

You belong to him. No one else is allowed to touch you — apart from valdor, one of his oldest friends and dearest allies. And captain Kytan. And a few other custodes. Sometimes at the same time. They’re extensions of his most absolutely not divine will — they can partake in the same luxuries he allows himself, otherwise what kind of a leader would he be? He likes seeing his best soldiers happy, especially when it’s because valdor is balls deep in your arse, while he enjoys the sweet warm stretch of your throat. You jostle and whimper between them, so full that you can barely breathe, and afterwards the emperor watches as valdor thumbs open your cheeks, just to watch your holes struggle to close up around the shape of his cock. Still, valdor can’t linger too long - there is already a line

He will cum inside you so much you swear your stomach bulges a little from it all. You have nightmares about popping like a balloon

eventually word reaches the Emperor that Guilliman is looking to speak to him as a matter of urgency — he is currently buried deep in your throat, enjoying the cute little gluck-gluck-gluck noises your gag reflex makes as you try to fit him all the way into your tight gullet. He does not ask you to stop this before answering the vox from a distraught Roboute, who is blathering about his fiancée going missing? The Emperor chuckles a little to himself, patting your hair — ah, having a woman to be wed and a woman in his bed, Roboute is far more like his father than first thought — wait. Ah. Singular woman. Singular. Shit.

[romanarose]

Hi Roman! Loooove your HCs re: the TF boys. Could I pls ask you what you think would be the biggest sources of contention when it comes to each guy and their SO & how they handle relationship conflict?

Hello, wonderful human! Sorry it took so long for me to respond. Been cranking out fics to catch up and prepare for everything lol!!!

Happy to answer you! I'll be focusing mostly on the guys issues, not so much readers, but we all bring out own things into relationships.

Warnings: Addiction, ptsd, general relationship issues

I think everything should be gender neutral, correct me if i missed something.

More HC's here

Santiago

Commitment.

My dude can't commit to a thing.

I imagine after the movie events he went to see yvonna.... and then left after a few months bc he's a mess.

First arguement you get into he;s like "fine! I'll just leave then, clearly this isn't working"

And you give your best ????? face.

Santi you dumbass.

But you don't give up that easily! You're a menace to society.

You make him face down the issue, talk to you, and *gasp* share how he feels!

When its resolve, you tell him he can't just threaten to leave when he gets frustrated. If he wants to leave he needs to be honest, but he can't hide away under one small issue.

You ask if he really wants to leave. He says no so fucking fast.

He admits he hasn't had any stability in his life like... ever. Immigrant family, military, then his less-than-legal missions... but he wants to make it work with you

You have to work to find a balance between not letting him run away but not forcing him to stay.

But it works. Santi finds you easier and easier to talk to about things and soon enough, he's been with you for a year and theres still no itch to leave.

Ben

Benny Miller is a goof ball.

That's why you fell in love with him in the first place!

But he's not the most mature. He struggles to be serious, even when he wants to. That's the issue. You don't want to dampen his shine, you love him how he is

Thing is, you've been together 6 months and you still feel like you're casually dating.

There was no big "I love you".

He simple kissed your cheek saying goodbye, said "love you!" and dashed off to his friends.

But you did love him, you loved him so much but you weren't sure he was invested as you were. Maybe he wasn't ready for a serious relationship or you were more of a casual date to him...

Benny notices your mood change pretty quickly. He may be dumb but he's not stupid

(This is a joke Benny is canonically a highly skilled and talented individual I love him so much.)

"What am I to you?"

You ask him and it starts a whole discussion. You're surprised to find he's listening intently to what you have to say, takes in your words well.

You express how it hurts that every time he says "love you" It's the same tone of voice he uses with his friends or brother. He makes you feel like you're "one of the guys" but you're having sex.

Benny pauses and gathers his words before expressing that he does love you, very deeply. He thinks about marrying you... he just struggles to express it verbally. After some talking, you introduce him to the idea of love languages.

You figure out Benny loves receiving with words of affirmation and thats what he gets stuck on. He can't express well through words, so he thinks he's fucked.

You take the time to talk about the other four, and ways he can express through those.

After this talk, you feel much better and Ben makes you feel so, so loved and special.

(He also makes sure to say his "I love you" during sex or more initmate moments, not just in passing, letting you know that he really, really does.)

Will

Fear.

You probably expected PTSD, didn't you?

Well thats a part of it. His PTSD does affect his life but I think he's scared to lose you and scared to hurt you.

Will keeps you at arms length. Maybe you're a friend of Ben's and are around a lot and clear chemistry!! But nothing is happening

Finally you confront him. Bestie you can't keep lingering touch on my arm if you're not gonna fuck me about it.

Will is def the most straight forward and self aware so he's gonna be honest.

"I choked a man out in a grocery store for not moving his cart fast enough and almost killed him, my fiance left me after that, I've got 33 confirmed kills and also I watched one of my best friends die and carried his dead body over the fucking Andes, man."

A lot to unpack there!!!!

He tells you he's afraid he's going to lose you if he lets you get too close. He's afraid of hurting you.

You tell him he's sweet but he should also go to therapy.

You go with him to the first appointment.

Will I think is the easiest bc I just think hes the most mature and open

Frankie

Addiction

My dude hates himself.

And literally any feeling he's like "well time to do some coke about it."

It wasn't a big deal when you just started dating. You knew he did coke sometimes on weekends and rationalized that it can't be that big a deal, it's like drinking, right?

(Im 26 now and realizing how many people casually do coke is wild to me. None of my business tho.)

But soon you realize just how bad it's gotten. He's high almost all the time. Then his liscense comes under review. Then the trip to south america...

You don't think he's ever even sober, and you're worried about him, worried his heart is going to give out. Sometimes you stay awake watching him breath just to be sure.

Finally you can't take it anymore. You never wanted to to be the ultimatum party but you can't do this, you're suffering and so is he. He either gets sober or you leave. You didn't care how long it took, you didn't care if he relapsed but he needed to start trying.

Frankie ops to go to rehab. It's best, because he's gonna need to detox first.

You visit often, almost every day, making sure his friends all knew when visit times were and sometimes going as group, sometimes separate but always making sure someone came by every single day so he knew he wasn't alone.

90 days later, Frankie comes out a new man. He's cheeks fuller and pants tighter but his smile bigger.

He's gonna be okay and so are you.

Tom

He's dead

THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!!!! I love tf boys head cannons <3

[steddieas-shegoes]

Nother idea: 8 years later, Tommy & Carol apologizing to Steve for their behavior. & for immediately abandoning him when they knew he needed them most.

But Steve has people now who have shown him love, family, true friendship. And while he forgives them its not the same. He doesn't trust them. He is thriving without them.

But Carol realizes that the reason it isn't the same is bc Steve genuinely believes that they don't mean their apology. So she & Tommy actually discuss it and find a way to clear up any misunderstanding & ensure he knows they mean their apology. It works, it takes time & effort but they are once again his friends.

MY LOVE!!! STEVE REALIZING HE'S LOVED AND DOESN'T NEED HIS SHITTY EX FRIENDS CREW STAND UP!!!! I had the opportunity to really give Steve his shining moment and yell at them, but I decided that Steve would just be kind of over it, like they aren't really worth yelling at. Steve didn't do all this personal growth just to let them back in so easily, but luckily he isn't the only one who changed. You know I had to involve Eddie, of course! - Mickala ❤️

-----------------------------------------------

It was too fucking early on a Saturday morning to be woken up by the buzzer of his apartment.

Whoever it was was lucky that Eddie had to go into work today or he would be committing murder at their door.

He glanced at the clock on the microwave, 10:47, okay, so not that early.

They’d had a late night, okay?

If he had a limp to show what they were up to, that was his business.

“You can leave the package in the box, I’ll grab it soon!” Steve said into the mic, hoping it was just a delivery.

“Steve? Is that you?”

He recognized the voice, though he wished he didn’t.

Eight years was a long time to go without talking to someone who used to be your best friend, but when you’d been best friends for so long, certain things couldn’t be forgotten.

“Tommy?”

“Uh yeah, man. I’m here with Carol. We actually were hoping to talk to you?”

He looked down at his almost naked body, only Eddie’s boxers covering him.

“Sure.”

He buzzed them in, not giving them any clue where he was so they would take their time getting to his door. He had to throw on clothes, brush his hair, and try to look like he hadn’t just been asleep.

He rushed to the bedroom, throwing on the first pair of jeans he saw and a t-shirt from the floor. He heard voices down the hall as he was heading to the bathroom, his hands shaking with nerves as he tried to rush to brush through his hair.

“It can’t be that Munson, though, right? Even Steve wasn’t a fan of him in school.”

Steve grimaced at Carol’s voice.

Technically, Eddie worked a half shift when he had to work Saturdays, which meant unless they were only stopping by for a few minutes, he would probably be home while they were still here.

Tommy had always hated Eddie. No one could really figure out why. Sure, a lot of people said nasty things about and to Eddie in high school, but no one else really put their hands on him the way Tommy did.

Eddie joked it must have been because he liked him, but Steve thought maybe he just had a lot of displaced anger.

At least that’s what he thought when he became a counselor and understood a lot of psychology behind why people did things.

Eddie laughed and said, “don’t overthink it, some people are just bullies.”

But Steve liked to think maybe Tommy was more complicated than that, liked to explain away his worst qualities so it made it easier to accept that he was once best friends with him.

Eddie laughed about that too, and said, “kids are stupid, and sometimes we find friends in people who make us feel better about ourselves, but you grew up.”

Steve shook his head, not wanting to think more about it.

He opened the front door, the ghosts of his past standing there, hardly aged, hardly any different at all.

“Come in, guys. Um. Sorry, I wasn’t really expecting anyone.”

They all awkwardly laughed as Tommy and Carol made their way inside.

The apartment was small, cheap rent kept them there so they could save up to buy a house outside of town in the next few years, maybe work on starting a family if they could.

They’d talked about it over the last couple of years, once Steve was settled in his job at the school, once Eddie got promoted to general manager at the shop, they’d save for a few years, have a decent down payment, start looking for a house with three or four bedrooms. Start looking into adopting. Maybe get a cat.

But to do that, their apartment was cozy, as Eddie liked to say. One bedroom, one bathroom, kitchen and living room area all one room, a tiny storage closet. They didn’t even have their own washer and dryer, which reminded Steve that he had to take their laundry downstairs and get it started soon.

Tommy and Carol looked around, but hid any emotion on their faces.

He gestured for them to have a seat on the couch, which was a hand-me-down from Wayne when they moved in. It was “too much” for his space when Eddie moved out.

They sat, though they didn’t look very comfortable.

Steve sat in the rocking chair Eddie bought, the first thing he bought for their “eventual home”, but didn’t rock as he took them in.

He originally didn’t see any proof of them aging, but now that he was looking closer, he could see Tommy’s already-receding hairline, Carol’s wrinkled by her eyes, both of them just a little softer in the face and stomach.

They looked incredibly human like this, like they weren’t some high school king and queen who only cared about how they look and what parties they could go to every weekend.

It helped Steve relax a bit.

“Not to be rude, but uh, how did you guys find me?” Steve asked, not sure he even really cared.

“We moved here to Chicago about six months ago, Tommy’s gonna run his dad’s office here starting next year, so he wanted to ease into it. I started job searching a few weeks ago for a teaching position and I noticed you worked at the school I interviewed at. We looked you up and decided we wanted to come talk,” Carol always was a bit of a rambler, always annoyed Steve when she started in on something that really didn’t matter much.

Carol nudged Tommy, who had been staring wide-eyed at Steve since he sat down.

He cleared his throat and nodded.

“We actually came here to make things right. We were best friends for years, and then one bad thing happened and we weren’t anymore. I know I fucked up with everything. We shouldn’t have treated Nancy like that, or you like that, and we’re hoping you could maybe accept our apology.”

Steve stared at them.

“We were kids. We did stupid shit. We’ve all grown. I mean, look at you! Your own apartment in the big city!”

As if he had been waiting for a cue, Eddie walked in the front door, his oil-covered coveralls already coming off. Steve made the rule after he came home one day to see oil stains on the bed sheets where Eddie had fallen asleep after working from open to close: coveralls come off as soon as he’s in the door and they go straight to the laundry room.

“Jesus, sweetheart, this is the last Saturday I cover in the shop. At least until I hire some competent mechanics. I think I did most of the work all morning. And after doing most of the work last night, I-”

“Eds! We have company!” Steve rushed out, his face bright red at what Eddie was implying.

It’s not that he really cared about what Tommy and Carol thought; Once they realized Eddie lived here, it wouldn’t be difficult to come to the conclusion that they shared a one bedroom apartment because they were together. He didn’t even care if Tommy and Carol were disgusted by him for it.

But he’d be damned if Eddie felt uncomfortable in his own home, especially if they started saying shit to him reminiscent of their high school days.

He watched Eddie turn around, recognize the people on the couch, and turn to Steve with a questioning look.

“Tommy, Carol, you remember Eddie,” Steve said, not breaking eye contact with Eddie.

They were having an entire conversation with their eyes, Steve begging Eddie to just go get cleaned up, Eddie begging Steve to explain what was going on.

Tommy’s eyes narrowed as he looked between them, Carol’s eyes stayed pointed at Eddie.

“Munson?”

“The one and only!” Eddie said, his voice pitching just a bit higher, naturally going to his over the top self to protect himself from whatever they would say.

Steve loved every version of Eddie: the performer on stage, the performer with friends, the soft version of himself that only Steve got to see, the protective version that would fight the world to make sure his loved ones were safe.

He was lucky to have every part of Eddie, even the parts that may not always be the best.

But his least favorite thing was seeing Eddie go into this mode, the one that kept him safe during school, when kids were mean, adults were mean, life was hard.

He didn’t want that for Eddie anymore.

“You guys…live together?” Tommy asked, looking back to Steve for confirmation.

Steve rolled his eyes. Tommy apparently didn’t gain any intelligence over the years.

“Yes. We’re together.”

From the look on Eddie’s face, he hadn’t expected Steve to say that.

That was fair; it took Steve nearly a year just to come out to anyone who wasn’t Robin, scared that somehow everyone would hate him, hate Eddie, hate them together.

But it went perfectly, and Steve rode the high a bit too much. He came out to his parents a few months after, and that went quite a lot less than perfectly.

He was lucky he didn’t have more head trauma from it, actually.

So he kept it quiet, didn’t come out to any new friends he met in college, even after one of them came out to him. Didn’t come out to coworkers while he worked at a cafe throughout college to pay the bills. Didn’t even come out to the bartender at their favorite bar despite the rainbow flag that was hidden behind the bar in silent support.

It was only recently that he started to feel comfortable being more open, and only in the city, only select areas where he knew they wouldn’t end up hurt.

Eddie was patient, maybe more than he deserved.

So saying it outright to the two people who suspected and bullied Eddie for being gay in high school, despite it not even being confirmed then, clearly threw Eddie for a loop.

“Oh, like…”

“Yes, exactly like that.”

Steve crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for any response that would give him permission to kick them out of his apartment, their apartment.

But he saw Carol nudge Tommy again, pasting a smile on her face. It wasn’t completely natural, but it also didn’t seem fake.

“That’s nice, Steve. Have you been together a while?”

“Since ‘86.”

“Wow! Since the quakes!”

Steve nodded.

“Steve, can you help me with something in the kitchen for a second?” Eddie asked, his voice unreadable.

Steve hated it, hated that all of a sudden he couldn’t get a grasp of what Eddie was feeling.

It had been so long since he’d experienced this.

And a small part of him blamed Tommy and Carol.

He got up, wordlessly following Eddie into the kitchen area that wasn’t even separated from the living room.

“Not that I don’t love that you’re comfortable telling them, but um. What’s. What’s happening currently?” Eddie whispered as he tried to appear busy, grabbing a glass from the cabinet to fill with water.

“They came to apologize to me. For high school.”

When he said it out loud, it sounded a bit ridiculous.

“And are you accepting it?”

“I don’t think so. I think they’re only doing it to help themselves feel better. I’m not interested in whatever game they’re playing.”

Eddie looked over Steve’s shoulder at the pair sitting on the couch.

“Need me to get rid of them? Just say so, sweetheart. I’ll kick them both to the curb.”

Steve leaned in and kissed him quickly on the lips, smiling as he pulled away.

“I got it, baby. Get cleaned up so I can hug you.”

“Just hug?”

Steve laughed as he walked back towards his spot.

“Or more!”

He focused back on Tommy and Carol, who were graciously pretending that they didn’t hear the conversation that happened less than 20 feet from them.

“So, we were wondering if you wanted to meet up for dinner, catch up? You could bring Eddie, of course!”

Of course, she said. Like they didn’t outwardly despise Eddie eight years ago. Like they were perfectly fine with him now, and fine with Steve, and fine with them.

“I think we’ll pass. Good luck to you guys in Chicago, though.”

He ignored the pang of guilt when he saw Carol’s face fall and Tommy’s eyes darted to where Eddie was closing the bedroom door and back to Steve.

“Oh. Um. Well, it would be our treat, if you’re worried about money.”

“I wasn’t.”

Tommy and Carol hadn’t expected to be shut down like this, but Steve knew he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t accept their apologies, and he wouldn’t expect Eddie to suddenly be friendly to people who tormented him for years.

“Okay. Well. I guess we’ll go, then.”

“Thanks for stopping by.”

He stood as they stood, walked them out the door, then closed and locked it behind them.

Steve made it to the bedroom before he felt the tears spring to his eyes.

Eddie was in the bathroom showering, so he hoped he could get it out quickly. He didn’t want Eddie to worry.

But unfortunately, once a few tears fell, it seemed like they wouldn’t stop.

He got back in bed, burying his face in the pillow so he could hopefully pretend to be asleep, but didn’t quite manage it before Eddie was walking back into the room.

He got in bed and silently pulled Steve against his chest, running his hands up and down his back to soothe him, not trying to use any comforting words.

“I don’t know why I’m upset about a stupid fake apology from people I don’t care about.”

“Stevie, it’s okay to be upset. They were your friends for a long time, and you still have a lot of hurt leftover from them.”

“I just wish things had been different then.”

“I know, sweetheart.”

Eddie kissed the top of his head, and as they lay there together, Steve realized this hurt would never quite go away.

—------------------

“T, I don’t think he believed us,” Carol said from the passenger seat.

“I can’t believe Steve’s with Eddie. Of all the people,” Tommy replied, not even acknowledging Carol’s words.

“They seem good together.”

“I guess.”

Carol knew Tommy had a crush on Steve in high school, they’d talked about it years ago when she found an old picture of Steve with a heart drawn on the back while they were moving the first time around.

She’d been caught off guard, but understood, and was fine with it when he explained it was definitely in the past.

And it was.

But a part of him was wondering how long Steve had realized he liked guys, and what might have happened if he’d just been brave enough to do something about his feelings before things went to shit.

He loved Carol, was happy to be married to her, and wouldn’t want Steve now, but still. The what-ifs plagued his mind on the drive back to their home.

“Are you jealous of Eddie?”

Carol sounded hesitant to ask, like she wasn’t sure which answer she would prefer because she knew either way, Tommy would be upset she asked at all.

“No. I’m not jealous. Steve and I would never have worked out.”

Which may not have been a great answer for his wife, but it was the truth, and they were always honest with each other if nothing else.

“Since I got the job at the school, maybe I’ll have more chances to convince him we meant it.”

Carol was good. Deep down she had always been good. But Tommy always managed to drag her down when they were young, convinced her she needed to be a mean girl to fit in with their group, kept it up through most of college before they finally realized life was better if you just weren’t awful to people.

“Yeah, maybe.”

—---------------------

So, a month later, when school started up, Carol began the task of showing Steve that they were truly sorry.

She would often leave notes in his mailbox in the office, usually just a “have a great day!” with a smiley face, or “let me know if you want to catch up over lunch!”

He never responded, but she knew he got them.

Tommy had issues with his car and took it to the shop Eddie worked at, nodding along to what he said and admitted he didn’t really know much about cars so he trusted Eddie to fix it.

It was entirely professional, but a small part of Tommy was satisfied when Eddie gave him a genuine smile.

—--------------------------

“Is it weird that they keep trying?” Steve asked one night while they were lying in bed.

“I don’t think it’s weird. I think maybe they just mean it.”

Steve pondered it.

Yeah, they must mean it. The old Tommy and Carol would have given up after he sent them out of their apartment the first time.

“Would you wanna go to dinner with them? Just give them a chance? It’s okay if you don’t want to. You don’t have to forgive them.”

Eddie leaned in to kiss Steve’s slowly, softly.

“If you want to, then I want to support you. We’re all different now. Maybe we can look at who they are now instead of who they were, as long as they can look at who we are and respect us.”

“Yeah.” Steve kissed Eddie’s cheek. “Yeah.”

—-------------------

Steve left a note for Carol the following Monday: “Dinner at ours? Friday at 7. Bring a red wine and beer.”

She wrote back that same day with a bunch of smiley faces and a response that they would be there.

When Friday came, Steve was nervous.

He’d planned to leave work right when school got out instead of leaving at five so he could make sure everything was clean and the food would be ready on time.

Eddie promised to be home by six in case he needed help.

And when six arrived, Eddie walked through the door with flowers and a smile, and Steve relaxed.

Nothing would go wrong.

Even if something did, they would be in it together, and they would support each other.

They didn’t have to do this alone like they did all those years ago.

—-------------------

It became a thing: dinner every Friday evening, sometimes at Steve and Eddie’s, sometimes at Tommy and Carol’s, sometimes at a new restaurant in the city.

The first few dinners were stilted, full of apologies and awkward catch-ups.

Then it got easier.

They got closer.

Eddie and Tommy actually became closer than Steve and Tommy ever were. Eddie showed him how to change his own oil so he could “stop bothering him at work just so he could look at his sexy coveralls.” Tommy rolled his eyes, but was grateful to learn.

Carol and Steve would often bake dessert together, catching up on school gossip, the latest who was dating who always entertaining them just as it did when they were in high school.

There were still the occasional moments where Steve thought about how much they hurt him, and Eddie thought about how they might be teasing him behind his back.

But it was rare, and they usually talked themselves out of it.

They were the first people to find out when Carol was pregnant, and the first people to learn it was twins. Carol and Tommy were the first (okay, first after Robin) people to find out when their offer on a house was accepted.

Tommy ended up cutting ties with his father when he found out that Steve and Eddie were together and threatened to cut him off. Tommy had a degree, and now had years of experience under his belt, and wasn’t worried about finding another job, one where he knew he earned his position because of his work and not being the boss’ son.

And when Steve and Eddie were able to finally adopt a little girl in 2002, Tommy and Carol were at the courthouse taking pictures of the new family, their own kids already best friends with her.

[rascallyrose92]

Anyone else think the reason why Ragatha looks out for the others so much is that she’s trying to be the person she needed when she first came in?

After all, Ragatha is heavily implied to have been there the second longest, with Kinger being there the longest. So the only person who has been with her through the entirety of her time at the circus (that hasn’t abstracted) is a rarely lucid eccentric old man who spends most of his time hiding away in a pillow fort.

This makes it hard whenever she herself needs support. Kinger is a good person of course, and can offer great advice, when he’s lucid. And since she canonically had a rough time adjusting, it would make sense that she doesn’t want anyone else to go through that.

But not everyone needs a mother figure. So when its clear that she can’t help in the way she knows best, she backs off (in a nice way).

Take Zooble for example. They are very independent and are more concerned with feeling comfortable in their body than existental dread. Thus they are friends with Ragatha, but she doesn’t mother them like she would Gangle or Pomni.

But what if they at first need a mother figure but then they figure out how to stand? What happens then? Well, look to Gangle.

She loves Ragatha, but she’s smart enough to know that nobody is happy all the time. So she loses trust in her, wondering if all the kind things she did were really genuine.

And is she genuine? I think so. She acts the same out of people’s view as she does within people’s view (look at how she reacts when Pomni is back from the Caine tour and she starts throwing up)

She looks more like she pities Pomni for going through that rather than being disgusted (she does show disgust when Bubble licks it up but anyone would).

There are several moments similar to this where Ragatha is just as kind behind closed doors (like how she treats Kinger with respect despite his memory issues, how concerned she is about Pomni, etc).

Just because someone is a genuinely nice person doesn’t mean they are perfect. In fact my favorite kind of characters are the ones who are nice and flawed.

Ragatha wants everyone to like her (who wouldn’t?) and she has a bad habit of repressing ‘bad’ emotions, unaware of the consequences. Repressed emotions don’t go away, they just fester, creating nastier things like resentment that nobody else does the same for you, and annoyance whenever your friends bring you struggles.

She feels guilty every time these thoughts pop up (“wait is that mean to say?” “and theres no hard feelings hehe you’re all good!”) and so she represses more and the cycle goes on.

It makes it harder and harder to be her normal self and easier and easier to just act on those horrible thoughts.

This is why she needed to get accidentally drugged. Those thoughts got to flow freely for a bit, giving her a little breathing room (like how ranting can make you feel better afterward).

And honestly it says a lot about her that even intoxicated she puts a insult in between an “I would never say this normally” sandwich (No Offense, wait was that mean to say?).

The worst thing she says (i like, hate you but I don’t want you to hate me) isn’t really too bad, since everyone dislikes Jax and she wants everyone to like her. It just seems mean coming from her bc again, she would never say this.

Anyways, we know that Ragatha’s genuine but Gangle doesn’t. Because Ragatha refuses to let anyone in, and often distracts them whenever they get close to the topic of her insecurities.

But friendship is a two way street. You can’t keep helping and helping someone and refusing their help at every turn without straining that connection.

I hope Ragatha realizes this before it’s too late.

[polyamorousmood]

hey! I hope this isn't too non-traditional of a poly situation to be sending in, but this is the only place I think I'll be able to get good advice. As a pre-ask thing, to be clear, my best friend is the love of my life, I am aroace, we're very happily in love.

So, a while ago, we were dating, and it ended pretty quickly bc he came out as aroace. I asked him a lot whether or not that was the full reason he broke up with me and he insisted that it was and if it was going to be anyone it would have been me. I figured out that I was also aroace a couple months later. Recently (about a year after we first met and started dating) he got a boyfriend. I already set a firm boundary of no talking to me about his boyfriend bc it made me have a paranoid breakdown once and I don't want to do that to him, but even just the knowledge of him existing is pissing me off so much. I can't ask him to break up with him because I would never do thst to him and I love him more than anything even if this situation is hurting me like this, but I did recently ask him how the relationship was going with him being aroace, and he said that he isn't really aroace and he just wasn't ready for a relationship with me and thinking about that makes me want to cry. I don't want something romantic with him, I'm very much aroace and very sex and sensuality repulsed, I just hate that this random guy who I don't even know and never will (I don't want to bc I know I'd end up being a dick to him if I did meet him) is somehow more important to him than me, even if he insists thst isn't how it is. Since the situation isn't changing, I really need help with dealing with the jealousy. I've tried a ton of stuff and every single time I think about him I still want to kill him. I really don't know what to do, and my therapist isn't being particularly helpful (she isn't poly tho so she doesn't have experience with weird situations)

Hi. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time with this.

I'm curious how "he got a boyfriend" went down, and why you didn't bring up your concerns about his honestly to him when he was initially talking to you about it. Or if you did, why it still... doesn't seem resolved😬.

Not to put emotions in your mouth, but it sounds like a large proportion (though certainly not all) of your issue here stems from you feeling lied to about the breakup. This would damage anyone's trust and faith in the relationship, and I think having a formal talk about why he handled it the way he did and if that will continue in your refigured relationship will really help you. Maybe he didn't lie, maybe he was genuinely confused (for example, "if I can't make a relationship work with this person I feel a deep connection with, I must be aroace!" [one year later] "yo wtf I wanna fuck this other person?")! I think you should acknowledge -- with him, if possible -- that hurt. You feel like you want to cry? So cry. Giving the feeling full expression makes it easier to work through (and the only way out is through, darling).

Be prepared to explain why it hurts so much. The betrayal, your assumption that since he was aroace y'all were on the same page and he'd functionally be your life partner, or whatever the fuck.

Aside from the advice in this post (please read it in full📖, it is all applicable here), you have a LOT of legwork🦵 to do in unpacking and deconstructing your feelings. I think this worksheet outlines how to do that well (though, you know, tweak the wording in your head, because its aimed at a more traditional romance). If done right, it will be difficult and time consuming⌛. I recommend working through the worksheet slowly, in at least two separate sessions an hour or longer each. 'Cause shit takes time to sink in. In fact, you will have to remind yourself of the things you learn doing it for weeks to come, if not longer, so don't be afraid to revisit it! There is no shortcut, but I hope you and your best friend can be on the same page and you can have support while you navigate it.

Remember, the boyfriend didn't do anything wrong. He cares about this guy you care about. Try to see him as an extra support for him, rather than competition.

Good luck out there, space cowboy. There is hope 💛 <- its a yellow heart for friendship, get it?

[marshbarks]

Some silly/random Stan questions:

Does Stan have any hobbies he keeps hidden? Are there ones he's more open about?

Stan's favorite video games? Are there any he'd be into playing with other people?

Extra silly: If given $1,000,000 what do you think Stan would do with all that cash?

Thank you!

Hobbies - i've had a longrunning headcanon that stan got really into twin peaks (;~;) because kyle likes mystery stuff and he was like yeah... my friend likes things, i will do my best to participate.. and specifically like Mystery In A Small Town In The Woods is the only genre that can catch his attention. he isn't super open about this!! he thinks that his friends will make fun of him for havin this niche ;;, in general honestly i think he does his best to peek into things his friends are into but its SUCH a tossup on if he likes it or not!! he's picky but in weird ways!

Video Games - i think he really really likes the fire emblem game series because being a tactician on the battlefield is awesome. his favorite is fe:a and he looks at chrom and goes "wow he's so me", this one he doesn't try to Hide, but also won't just, like. start a conversation about. don't ask how much money he's spent on fire emblem heroes okay we don't have to talk about it. yes okay he can play the Same Fucking Games as tabletop type stuff, but having it on a handheld console that he doesn't have to set up the mini figurines for Every Time is way easier. he also likes your typical fps, but hasn't really ever found one that grisps him exclusively, so he's hoppin from game to game as new stuff comes out. also farming sims. oh my god he loves farming sims. those are JUST FOR HIM. to play quietly. because if anyone ever sees him play a farming sim what if kyle hears and gets grumpy at him about farmville. years later they play sdv multiplayer and have the gayest little farm. general co-op is typically his fps- and oh my GOD can you imagine his friend group playing the buggy ass pkmn scarvio. oh they'd have so much fun. stan also by himself also really likes ace attorney i don't know why but he does. i don't control him.

Money - first he buys his mom a house. just his mom. then he donates half of whatever's left to his favorite local no-kill shelter. the rest is for him to justify impulse purchases (and buy presents for his friends bc as soon as eric learns he has money, he starts demanding. and honestly like... he thinks eric needs a little serotonin in his life, too. so yeah, sure, i'll buy you this fucking collectors edition jumbo squishmallow. and he'll buy little things for kenny like oh your shoes sorta fallin apart so here's your fav style of shoe but new. buying wendy presents like flowers n chocolate because he loves her. just.. aughhh... using whatever he's got left to Care for people. and also his mobile game addiction.)

[spaceyfeline]

Looking at you with big old sopping wet eyes hey can u talk about diti

(SORRY FOR NOT RESPONDING TO THIS FOR LIKE A WEEK OR SOMETHING I WAS GOING TO AND THEN I FORGOT.)

DEETI. deeti. Deeti my beloved deeti. narrative God. they're my bestest friend @cryptidlatias's oc and i am so unbelievably normal about them.

part of this is going to be me pulling from an infodump doc i have on the displaced bc that has Some deeti information. but. deeti is something called a Heart. (thank you to the funky fresh group for coining these bitches theyve made my life so much more fun.) they (hearts) are gods who reside Above the narrative of all worlds. like they are the final step between the Fictional Universes and us the Real People Authors. (they're obviously fictional and still have their own stories but that's semantics). (think of them like author self inserts)

here's where i begin to pull from the document because that's probably the best summary of Deeti's Entire Deal. And also this is where im going to put a readmore bc i dont want to flood my mutuals' dashboards with my insane rambling. Ok? ok <3

im just going to be copy-pasting stuff i wrote on the document here to make it easier on everyone. this will include Some glitter information but hopefully its nothing that would be like Really confusing without glitter context. (funnily enough this entire infodump was originally done in discord before being moved to google docs so it's come nearly full circle)

lati also left some notes on the doc itself! i'll add those notes in red. it's a good doc if you want the rest of it i can dm it to you

deeti, to put it simply, is A Fucking Freak (Its existence revolves around control and obsession.) theres a lot to deeti but a quick rundown of it was it began as an ai programmed to quote "learn everything there is to learn" and it did! it learned everything there was to learn abt its universe. including how to rewrite the strings of reality itself. so it did. and it ascended! and then it assimilated Every Other Version Of Its Universe. Ever and after that just kept absorbing other universes into its mass deeti's "true body" is a literally spiral-galaxy sized bundle of its wires, its known as a god of a thousand faces bc it can put on any face it wants at any point (thru . what can kind of be described as puppets?), as well as appearing in multiple places. i believe lati explained it as being similar to a fungus of sorts (Like the fruiting bodies (mushrooms) you see on the surface, with the true mycelial network underneath.) the form it assumes most often is one that me and lati joked glitter complimented at one point and deeti went Ah! Friend likes this face I will wear it forever but it is not in anyyyyyy way reduced to just Looking Like That i dont actually think we have any proper Coloured Refs of deeti but tldr white (like ffffff mannequin) or light gray "skin", red hair, i believe the order of colour on its eyes is red/blue/purple but they change based on deeti's mood (i had some outdated information on the original doc, so here's how it works: its eyes start at blue, and add more red (so purple, then red) as its emotions get more intense. Both good and bad emotions have the same effect.) deeti and glitter are besties. absolute dears to each other. very close. which is fun bc deeti originally freed glitter bc it was like huh i wonder what would happen if i did this (it still has its main prerogative of "learn everything there is to learn) but then they became friends :) deeti actually mentored glitter in a lot of things like how strings work and uh how they are above the "stories" and the "characters" within, how said characters are alive (because of course they are) but they're not real like deeti and glitter (and their friends theres other guys not just these two) are. and since theyre not real. well. consequences don't really apply (Glitter was Deeti's first friend! The other Hearts came later.) if its not clear. that's a. really bad mindset for two people who can literally disassemble and reassemble entire universes to have deeti is capable of storing so much data because like. robot-kind-of it has so much capacity for storage bc it just Has so much. so its also capable of bringing that storage up and making simulations or straight up building replicas of universes (including people! including people.) so with its little. well it calls them dolls or puppets or the like but the little guys it puts through the torment nexus. it will do the same things over again with slight tweaks until it learns Everything about how the "character" reacts to a situation (or until it gets bored) deeti prefers psychological torment but it is not afraid (or even unwilling) to inflict physical torture for the sake of Learning i think thats all thats needed to understand deeti? its a "machine" sure but it has learned how to feel emotions like any sapient being, they're extremely fond of their friends (especially glitter), and at This point in time (this being pre-Day, ie before the event that got the displaced their "freedom") believe they are Above Everything and such cannot be wrong. ever it's very controlling to the point where it is referred to as a God of Control . which is . Fun (towards its blorbos. not friends. big difference.) (It gave this title to itself, but… it's not like anyone can prove it wrong.)

deeti doesn't forget. Ever. and it holds grudges for a long, long time. a lot of how it treats dis both pre and post Day is because of dis fighting back in ways that hurt deeti (verbally, at least), so even if dis doesn't remember it, deeti does. and it doesn't forgive easily.

luckily, by the "modern" day deeti and dis have both changed quite a lot! they've both admitted their wrongdoings towards each other and apologized! and they've actually grown to be very close and care about each other a lot. however. Modern day is an extremely long time post-Day, and pre-Day lasted... many, many millenia at the least. deeti had existed long before that, too. the displaced isn't the only one deeti hurt, but at least they managed to get through to them.

theres probably a lot im missing in this infodump . but it's everything i can think of currently! so!

(also i know lati will be looking at this so. hi lati. fix any information i missed. <3)

[sugutoad]

matchup for @coffeebooksrain18

HOUSE OF THE DRAGON MATCHUP

I ship you with Laena Velaryon and Daemon Targaryen. You’re all people who are fierce, independent, and unapologetically blunt, making it easier for your little trio to understand one another. While you have that sharp, no-nonsense honesty that can sometimes rub people the wrong way, Daemon thrives on the same directness and blunt nature, never afraid to speak his mind, even if it causes friction. Your stubbornness would mesh so so well with his fiery determination; you both stand your ground and never back down, creating this mutal respect. While I would not pair you with Daemon normally, this is an exception because the additon of Laena changes so much. Laena, with her quiet strength and confidence, would appreciate literally everything you bring. She is more mature and knows what it’s like to keep her own distance while still craving connection, so your need for space and your struggle with touch would be understood. At the same time, Daemon’s intensity would push you out of your comfort zone and encourage you to embrace a bolder side and actions, just as he often does. You’d balance each other perfectly—while Daemon’s bold, impulsive nature could sometimes overwhelm, you and Laena would be the grounding force that keeps things from spiraling, and she would offer a steady presence when things get chaotic. Laena, All three of you have sharp tongues too! Can you imagine the spark in your relationship. It had its ups and downs at time, but it is never a boring relationship.

(I know I speak more of Daemon here with you, mainly because you have a Laena matchup: here)

Ship Tropes

soldier (him) x poet (you) x king (her)

just me and you (you and her) x and your friend steve (him)

‘all three of us were drowning, we could not save one another, but there was an understanding we were drowning together’

Ship Songs

Enchanted by Taylor Swift

Judas by Lady Gaga

Winter is Coming

I think you fit into House Stark of Winterfell. Like the Starks, you value protection and loyalty, particularly when it comes to your loved ones, like your dog Willow (who can easily be a direwolf in this case) and also your preference for feeling protected plays a role as the Starks are a tight-knitted family. You have a strong bond with those close to you, which is very Stark-like. You are resilient. You've gone through a lot, like your sickness you mentioned of before, and yet you're still standing strong. The Starks are known for their resilience, especially after enduring hardship. Your blunt honesty and the fact that you're a bit of a "bitch" at times (in the best way bc your such a kind person in my eyes) tells me you have a strong independent streak and are not afraid to speak your mind. Being stubborn is also a Stark trait as they do not back down from their beliefs. There is also the fact that you grew in a place you described to be ‘the middle of nowhere’ which is so much like the isolated North. I think your mother would be a Celtigar however. Your sharp wit and no-nonsense attitude aligns pretty well with the Celtigars' resourcefulness and ambition, always carving their own path. They, like you and the Starks, are more isolated compared to the Valyrian houses. The reason you are in King’s Landing was because of your Celtigar blood. When you became sick at a young age, the Maesters could not do much except suggest a change of scenery. Your mother was Bartimos Celtigar’s sister who, at the time, resided in King’s Landing. Your mother in fear of your life, sent you there under the guardianship of your Uncle. This would be eventually where you meet Laena and later even Daemon.

Dragon

A Celtigar dragon rider was almost unheard of. It was quite common within the Targaryens and even some members of House Velaryon were in possession of one, but never a Celtigar. Not until now when you claimed… Gaelithox. This she-dragon was an unclaimed dragon, daughter of Meraxes and Balaerion and when naming it, Laena insisted you must name her after a Valyrian God similar to how Vhagar and Caraxes were. In terms of appearance, Gaelithox is covered in obsidian-black scales with hints of silver around its wings and spines. Its eyes are a deep, dark amber and its breath ignites a dark amber flame, almost black at times. She is almost as big as Dreamfyre, though her height was stunted due to preferring and being raised in smaller caves. The dragon mirrors the loyalty of a Stark and she would be fiercely protective of you and your loved ones. She is highly intelligent, able to read situations and understand them quickly, much like how you quickly process and react, often bluntly and with little filter. Unlike Vhagar and Caraxes, Gaelithox is a chirpy and happy dragon — a playful companion of sort — once known by others, but before that, she is rather shy of any human interaction. You were 17 when you claimed your beast. Laena had written to you to visit her and Daemon, who were both residing at Dragonstone at a time for a short visit and were planning to leave soon back to Pentos. Your fingers crinkled the corners of the paper as you quickly walked towards your room to begin packing. It was during one of your nights there where you could not sleep. Ever since your arrival at Dragonstone, there was still reoccurring dream of a dragon. You even went to read if there was a marriage between a Celtigar and a Targaryen that may have passed down through generations and was now messing with your brain. It wasn’t until one your late nights at the library that you heard a hum and for a second, everything felt… right. Following the hum, that strangely felt as if it came from your own heart, your founded yourself outside, face to face with a large dragon who almost seemed shy. And it was then when you placed a head on her snout that you claimed the dragon of the night sky. Also! Can you see her and Willow fighting for your affection in their own way? Because I do

Headcanon

Both Daemon and Laena know exactly how to push your buttons. While Laena has that soothing, effortless energy, she’s also got this sly, teasing side that loves to stir the pot just enough to get under Daemon’s skin specifically. You’ve seen it out countless times—Laena will crack a sarcastic smile and drop some line about how Daemon is way too dramatic about anything that remotely challenges him (like the fact that you made your direwolf, Willow, sit on his lap instead of sitting on the chair like Daemon wanted). Daemon will shoot her a deadly glare that usually involves a lot of "I'm not that upset" posturing, but you see the little smirk tugging at his lips.

Daemon, on the other hand? He’s definitely the one to dare Laena to do something, and she’ll do it with that cool, collected demeanor she had, the kind that has you cracking up in the background. They anre often stupid requests and dares like asking her to spar with him (which, ends with Laena running behind you or asking for you get your dragon to stop Daemon from ‘killing’ her)

But you? You’ve got your own things, and they both love to tease you for it—especially when you’re determined to stick to your comfort zone, usually wrapped up in blanket and reading your books. Daemon will mockingly drop a comment like, “You know, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you are a ghost with how much you like to hide in the shadows.” But when he notices how much you need your space, he’ll subtly give you that look, the one that says, “I get it,” and retreat to his own corner—giving you the quiet time to recharge your energy. He’s a master at sensing when you're about to shut down from the chaos around you, and Laena? She’ll send a soft, teasing glance your way but won’t push you. She knows you better than you know yourself at times

They both thought in thr beginning that you were, according to Daemon, a hard ass (and okay, maybe you are, but that’s just for show). What they didnt know? You have so many little soft spots hidden away, and they’re absolutely obsessed with finding them. Laena, ever the observant one, knows just how to get you to relax. A casual comment like, “You know, I think I’d like a nap with you today,” and boom—insta-cuddles. And Daemon? He’ll call you out in his usual snarky way: “Didn’t think you were the cuddling type,” which just makes you want to cuddle even more just to prove him wrong. Laena’s always the first to notice and will teasingly say, “I didn’t think you could be this soft,” with a raised eyebrow, while Daemon, who always wants to have the final say, will add, “Told you”

You know how much you love to read—whether it's fantasy novels, fanfiction, or random history articles. You’re always losing yourself in a book or article, and they absolutely adore that about you. In fact, they start to get a little jealous of your books (mainly Daemon) because you’ll talk about your latest obsession with so much passion that Daemon and Laena start daring each other to out-read you. Daemon bets he can finish a book before you (he can’t), and Laena takes the approach of asking you to read to her like it’s the most romantic thing ever. Of course, both of them will try their best to “win” in their own weird ways, but the real win for them is the quiet moments when you sit down to read, with one of them lazily sprawled beside you, the other trying to subtly peek at your book to see if it’s more entertaining than theirs

The three of you have your own brand of possessiveness. You get fiercely protective of them in a way that catches people off guard. If anyone dares to touch Laena or Daemon, you’ll immediately pull them closer, your fingers brushing their skin just enough for anyone to notice you’ve claimed them. Daemon? He will drag his hand possessively over your or Laena’s shoulder, cocking his head to the side wirn a smirk, trying to intimidate the other. Laena, with a sly grin, will make sure anyone who even looks at Daemon for more than a second knows exactly who she is. It’s usually subtle wirh her clinging on you or Daemon, or smiling sweetly at the other, but still showing that you are with her. But in private? She pouts. But when it comes down to it, there’s this protectiveness about Daemon and Laena, especially when it comes to you. You’ll catch Laena side-eyeing someone who gets a little too close to you at an event (and let’s face it, you’re not thrilled either, but you just won’t show it), and Daemon’s the one who will actually do something about it. He doesn’t need to make a scene—oh no, he’ll pull you in close with that smirk of his, making it very clear who you belong to without so much as saying a word. Laena will shoot him a look and mutter something like, “Could you not make it so obvious?” But honestly, neither of them can help it.

Moonboard

[your-queer-dad]

hey dad! totally didnt just send in 3 asks where i messed up! sorry about that! anyway. ive known my boyfriend for a long time and my best friend for a slightly shorter time. its been a wild ride. my boyfriend and i very much love each other but idk how to ask if we can get my best friend to join the relationship bc i dont love him the same way but id like to be his qpp. do you know how id know if i was going too fast here? i'm not great at communication lol. thanksfor everything this blog is so amazing

Hey kiddo! I don't think you're going too fast and my best recommendation is being open and honest. I know it isn't easy but being clear about your intentions and what you would like make things easier in the long run.

- dad x

[alitgblog]

ok s11 vol 1 thoughts

back again and yea yea it's same old same old: sprites that are slightly off and boys that are one dimensional and a girl that hates us and writing that clearly does not understand the love island format

surprisingly, I liked the free short haircut this time around. like I may not keep it forever but I didn't mind it lol

the paid clothes options were ugly thank you for making my decision to spend gems solely on dissing Zabrina at the end easier

speaking of, the Zabrina stuff is annoyingly repetitive like yeah okay another Kat/Sofia but nerfed a little

However, I am still enjoying it solely bc I've decided this season my MC is having a villain to audience favorite arc and so I'm pretending she has a frenemy situation with Zabrina where theyre both kinda awful but to each other so it's entertaining at least and not just bullying (especially after MC and Zabrina admitted they voted for each other to get out and Zabrina kinda just was like "I respect you for saying it. Competition watches out for competition.")

But it's gonna be so sad for me when she eventually gets dumped (give her a Lottie character arc pls!! oh wait fusebox doesn't do that anymore... give her an Ava arc?)

Also yes the best way to enjoy this game is to create headcanons and make up the writing for them 🙄🙄

oml poor Esme getting the blind in love/lust for a guy that doesn't deserve it treatment a la Grace/Ozzy and Nyah/Dean.

the random talk about Dominic and now we get a mystery bombshell was giving perfect match Darcy vibes and I kinda had fun with that in perfect match especially bc it really only mattered in the beginning but fusebox's track record with forced history storylines has been lukewarm (stefan) to bad (Amelia, SURESH). But if he shows up now and we rip off that band aid I guess that's fine. I'd love a slow burn enemies to friends to lovers but I'm so particular about how it's gotta be done but also to not become the main storyline and leave out players interested in the other LIs 🤣

if it is though, props to fusebox for not overly advertising this season as the enemies to lovers seasons

I doubt it's Jace coming in now (later probably bc he is on the season banner) but there is technically precedent for someone getting dumped day 1 then coming back the next morning (love island USA s5 with bergie) and even sorta in the game (litg s6 when mc enters casa) so I guess I won't be mad if it is? Just confused why they would. to get their cliffhanger quota in??

I think if we're gonna have MC as an OG but not want her to be with coupled with someone good right away (bc branching despite the genre of game,,,, idk what fusebox's problem is but sure) I'd rather not mess with the love island format. There is precedent for a get to know you challenge to happen before the initial coupling, so that's not my problem but i think instead go back to the coupling up on first sight thing and just have it that Esme does not immediately vibe with Jace. she describes her type to the girls in the beginning and Jace is not it anyway. Jace picks MC last (yeah annoying i know im sorry its repetitive but at least Zabrina didnt steal a guy from MC and at this point in time theres no reason to dislike Jace) and the other boys get shuffled around to the other girls. But then the first challenge happens pretty much immediately and I think Jace gets put off of MC but he and Esme get along really well. And after the challenge he clearly isn't trying with MC anymore and she gets a chance to be upset or ambivalent about it bc it was literally within a few hours of first meeting and being coupled (think like Miles/Jasper S1).

And then literally everything else can still happen. MC is effectively single and free to talk to the other boys bc it's day 1 so none of them are married off yet (and no one jealous with Zabrina playing the field like MC, Esme with the only nonromancable guy, Ruby lukewarm on all the guys)

and if they did this i wouldn't mind as much that theyd need to vote someone dumped before introducing a bombshell to keep everyone on their toes. bc without the coupling thing it just makes it so painfully obvious they're keeping mc single as long as possible like last season. if we want to stay strict to the love island format though, then whoever the next bombshell is can still show up and shake up couples before MC gets to pick the guy she actually wants.

anyway yeah I'm just desensitized to litg seasons now bc theres one every other month 😅

[deanstead]

hello!!!!!!!! i am back to tell u more about irl antonio dawson bc its one of the only two things (the other one is enigma of fear) i can think about currently so!!!! yeah!!!!!

also, does anyone use 🫧✨🤍❄️ one of these emojis to identify themselves? bc its easier if i just sign with it rather than just opening with the same thing every single time

but ok lets go. its gonna be long.

he used to date a girl in my class back in highschool (senior year) (me and the girl were barely acquaintances but she turned out to be a horrible person and cheated on all the boyfriends she ever had but that's a story for another day!!!!)

when i first met him (over 2 years ago), he was introduced to me as her bf (they broke up the same year)

and i have this thing that it doesn't matter how much a person is my type. if the person is introduced to me as someone's romantic partner, i do not feel attraction at ALL. like i dont feel anything towards the person, its like im looking to a wall

so obviously i didnt even pay attention to him (and im not saying this to sound cool or whatever is just how i function really)

then, earlier this year, one of my best friends (the one thats his childhood best friend) celebrated her birthday twice, the second time being at a restaurant with less people, so its more intimate

he was there. i was there. sitting in front of him.

and i want to preface this by saying that during that time, i was reaching the 2 year mark of not feeling any kind of romantic attraction towards anyone

(also i do suspect that im somewhat in the aro spectrum but that's not the point)

so i was not used to having crushes anymore, and i didnt know what to do?????? like he was there suddenly being an attractive human being and i was like??????? uhm hello. sir. hi.

and then this man started being funny. like hes HILARIOUS

but i wasn't able to really talk to him bc im a rather shy person and i was also reconnecting with an old friend that went to the celebration too!!! so my focus was on this friend rather than mr dawson impersonator

so on that night we didn't interact much

then, i started liking another boy (who is a friend of mr antonio). a different one. and the dawson impersonator isnt really someone who i see a lot, so i kind of forgot about him and focused on this other boy, who i saw more and its also very nice!!!! (nothing happened between me and him bc i cant talk to him for the life of me but that's ok)

then, my friend (the one i reconnected with) decided to host a halloween party, and since (in my head) i was alrwady over irl dawson, i was able to talk with him freely and that was my worst mistake because this man??????????

ok. lets go from the beginning.

there i was, a bit tipsy but very much conscious and happy because i was cruella!!!! and i finally went and got my oreo hair done so i was feeling great

in the beginning of the party i was already comfortably talking with mr tonio but nothing more than just being in the same little circle of people talking altogether and answering each other sometimes

after like one or two hours, i went to the party host friend and said "idk if its the alcohol but im considering telling you who i like" and i was referring myself to the other boy™️, not mr dawson

and he was like "i think i know who it is by elimination" and HE WAS RIGHT???? like wtf that was insane but not the point

then we left the room and went to the kitchen to get some things done for midnight bc one of the guests was going to turn 20 or smth so the host friend had a cake etc etc

i went with him to continue talking about it and started being dramatic (as one does) about how im so predictable and blah blah blah and i have this thing i like to do that is:

if im having a conversation with someone and im complaining about something, and a third clueless person shows up in the middle of the conversation, i will complain to them with no context

real life antonio showed up.

and i said, dramatically

"im so predictable, [his name], im so sad"

but i was not expecting him to be so fucking curious and interested about it?????

he was all like "why are you predictable?" and then i didnt answer ofc and he said "if you really were predictable, id know what youre talking about."

i was a bit taken aback bc i wasnt expecting such?????? interest????????? and then i said

"im predictable to my FRIENDS" (in a friendly jokingly funny way i swear that it wasnt rude or anything. he is literally not my friend we've seen each other less than 10 times and we've know each other for OVER TWO YEARS)

and he completely ignored that and went on to wanting to know what it was and we started a little banter that sounded basically like this:

"im not telling you"

"but WHY"

"i cant tell you why bc if i tell you why youll know what it is about"

"no i wont" (he said that confidently alright. his tone wasnt whiny or anything like that he was SMUG)

"yes you will"

"cmon tell me"

"ill tell you in... five years, how about that?"

"we wont even know each other in five years"

"i will find you and tell you"

"you wont even remember!"

"i will put an alarm"

"youll look at it and wont even KNOW what it is about"

"occupational hazard" (thats the best translation to what I said to him so sorry if it doesn't make much sense but yeah)

and then i was saved bc it was midnight and we had to go and sing happy birthday to the guest and well...

i thought it was over

i was already back on the couch scrolling on my phone peacefully but then this man just THROWS himself right next to me with his arms crossed, tilts his head to look in my direction and asks

"so tell me, [my name], why are you predictable?"

i immediately rolled my eyes and laughed bc GET OVER IT???? and also bc it was infuriatingly attractive but THAT he will never know

and then we just talked and talked and it was less banter-y than the first talk but god it was just as fun

and before he could rip the information out of me (i dont think he would actually manage to do it but i am weak for confident and assertive people and do i need to say that he fits the category?) someone called me and i could run away from the conversation

but yeah that was it

i will update you when something else happens if youd REALLY like that but yeah!!!!! have a great day and feel free to ask any questions bc i will LOVE to answer

ARE YOU LIVING A FIC?????

I'm sorry I totally get why he's a real life antonio cos GIRL the crossed arms????????

Pick an emoji you like!! No one's using emojis with me anymore hehe <3