#losing my mind over here lmao
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While I'm ranting.
Can I point out this very specific ask CQ answered?
And then these from Fresh origin comic.
Those little ghost looking things are Souls from a bunch of universes, Fresh is made out of many Souls.
So that Ask about Fresh Jumping from body to body being unable to develop emotionally, hear me out, what if Fresh whole being is kinda like pieces of all those Souls put together, that Fresh is so lost in the chaos of their own being, that's why staying with one body/host they start to reconnect to 'humanity' because they're supposed to have a full Soul, but were given sections of the other Souls instead.
So if they stick to one body/host/Soul, because the segments Souls are still less than the Host's full Soul, they might start to feel more whole like they should've been, because it’s as if the host Soul is his.
So The host becomes Fresh when the parasite possess them, but in a way, Fresh becomes their host as time goes on. not like the host takes back control, but Fresh becomes more like they were with emotion and even empathy, before Fresh took over their body.
#losing my mind over here lmao#freshbrainrot#fresh headcanon#my headcanons#only i'm not sure if i even headcanon that#i'm just talking#fresh!sans#fresh sans#true!fresh#hazy talks
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lg fanboy real and canon which means i bet he's watched madoka magica and IS a homura kinnie i feel unwell . he tries to show it to cxs but after ep3 it makes him too sad and he can't bear to continue
#link click#lu guang#yingdu chapter#ness lc tag#LIKE THIS MAN WOULD BE ALL OVER PMMM HE'D EAT THAT SHIT UP#autistic urge to make a list of animanga i think lg would like because im deranged#its 2am someone put me down pls ive been thinking about lc all day#I HAVE BEEN CLICKING THOSE LINKS. LET ME REST NOW BRAIN#ok but idk that he'd Show pmmm to cxs maybe cxs would try watch it knowing lg loves it and can't do it sgjfhjfjhgjgh#(which is probably for the best cos how could lg explain to cxs how deeply he relates to homura lmao)#this isn't coherent im just losing my mind a little here dw
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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Lake Baikal is fucking terrifying, and I say this as someone who reads about the Great Lakes for shits and giggles. Like, Lake Superior is 1,333 feet at its max depth. The deepest lake in North America (Great Slave Lake/Tucho) period is a little over 2,000. How deep is Baikal?
5,387 feet. You can stack two Burj Khalifas on top of each other and just barely reach the surface. And since it's a rift lake, there's a chance it might get even deeper. This motherfucker has more water in it than all the Great Lakes combined. Those things are pretty much inland oceans, you can stand on one side of them on a clear day and still not see the other side, and Lake Baikal is deep enough to eat them for breakfast.
The runner-up to Lake Baikal is Lake Tanganyika, which is also the second-oldest freshwater lake in the world and the second-largest by volume. Guess what lake beats it? Baikal.
There's a rumor that aliens live under Lake Michigan. If you switched it out for Lake Baikal, I'd believe it. Looking at it on a comparison graph is like looking at a black hole, except at least black holes are something I can fathom.
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HE'S ACTUALLY HERE 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲 DAD HELLLLLLPPPP
never talk to me or my deluded boy ever again
just imagine you're me, an idiot, saying "haha i'm gonna make hawke and dorian's child as my rook!" -- smash cut several hours later to dorian bursting into the game simply to tell off hawke's voice actor. my brain is melting. dad 1 said i'm warden grounded but dad 2 said i could stay up and have a little blight as a treat 🥲
anyway. i'm overcome with manifold emotions. i love this man. this was not remotely how i expected to meet him. i am mildly hysterical.
#“mildly”#dragon age: the veilguard#veilguard spoilers#dorian pavus#catreus auratus hawke#i guess this is?#hawkian#sorta. lmao#no other words#i am genuinely losing my fucking mind over here
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Hale Appleman walking out with Rachel Brosnahan at the stage door for A Sign in Sidney Brustein’s Window, 25 April 2023 (??!!!??!!!) (via @bnsolo_ on twitter)
#hale appleman#rachel brosnahan#stage door#a sign in Sidney brustein’s window#definitely feeling Totally Normal#totally not tinhatting and losing my mind over here#the implications………..#the urge to tag this Jason Ralph even though he does not appear in the video lmao
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hi mickeyo i’d love to know more about the ‘to devour and be devoured’ wip!
HELLO AMIRA MY BELOVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! first things first i'll link another ask where i was talking abt it as well hereeeee!!!!!
NOWNOW . ok technically the reader is gender neutral but they're kind of mommy anyway and satoru is soooooooooo into it lmao they're both being so flirty i was feeling flustered myself when i was writing it....................... anyway the point is that satoru is all wet bc he had to stand in the rain and now the reader is babying him in a way, like they're offering the bath and then they're telling the butler to make him something warm to drink and yeah satoru fucking loooves it
he's actually so into it that he kind of forgets all about the research he's supposed to be doing for his article . he's so curious about the reader and suguru both and he'll act like them being vampires is a completely normal thing lmao he just wants to shove his tongue down both of your throats he's so funny i love him
COME AND ASK ME ABOUT MY WIPS:333333
#SATORU IS GENUINELY SO RELATABLE IN THIS ONE#like yeaaahhh if i met a sexy flirty mommy vampire i too would be willing to just drop everything#to worship the ground they walk on#hgsadghshgdsagdsafgd#typically one would thirst over the character but i'm over here losing my mind over the reader lmao#i love fun readers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ANYWAY I HOPE I CAN MAKE THIS AS SEXY AS POSSIBLE AS FUN AS POSSIBLE AS EROTICCC AS POSSIBLE#AAAAAAAAND I HOPE YOU'LL LIKE IT WHEN IT FINALLY DROPS HEHEHEHE#ILYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#THANK YOU FOR ASKING ABOUT IT BTWWW#KISSING YOU KISSING YOU KISSING YOUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#amira <3#friends!!#mickey can't stop thinking
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been using this to fight most of my anxiety recently. "oh my god the room is spinning my heart is pounding I can't breath" your honor after reviewing the evidence, who gives a fuck lowkey. pop those shock mints and your dick and get on with your day soldier
#i make yet anothet post just for me 👍#if it makes me anxious i shouldnt have to do it ever actually im the worlds specialest little boy and i should be treated as such#im going insane in this school i am losing my mind#my mom gave me these strong ass sour ass mints to suck on whenever i start feeling like a meltdown or a panic attack#and ima be fr they worked for like a day i need something stronger#going insane over here. im constantly scared and shaking and i wish to be normal again (<- has never been normal a day in his life LMAO)#these classes and teachers and kids suck and i dont know why i cant handle them this year its just gotten so much worse outta NOWHERE#anyway worlds smallest vent (as in a little vent on the floor to make a joke out of) my bad 😔😔
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and WHERE is his little white streak?! you’re telling me you can make Garth look identical to every other dark haired, blue eyed dc man but you draw the line at Cerdian and Jason Todd having the same haircut?
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the hazard of being a night owl during nano is that Calendar Days and Writing Days aren't actually perfect equivalents, so i end up with asinine timekeeping like "november 18, technically," and "november 18, actually," scribbled in my margins to keep track of nighttime vs daytime writing
#text#personal#writing#wf#nano2023#nano#this is Very Necessary To Me Actually#ive been reading through old stuff intermittently and keep getting pissed at past!Me for not dating any of this shit 🤣#im like combing through geological records over here trying to carbon date shit#(like the beginning of this notebook is from when cramer was a woman and siku Existed and i CAN map that to a draft of avian initiative--#--but gotdamn i dont wanna have to lmao)#so im trying to get better about scribbling a date if not a date and time for my writing sessions when relevant#so future me doesn't lose their fucking mind about it#but i like my words to be counted in the calendar days#but cards can be accomplished in Writing Days#anyway its 1AM and im just now crawling into bed about it but i had fun!!#love unhinged dreams!!!!#does it count as animal death if 1. its in a dream and 2. its in a kitchen in a dream#or is that just Dream Cooking at this stage#(its fuzzy because theyre not uh. theyre not food animals.)#i dont kill real animals in stories but apparently i do what i want in dreams
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sorry if I don’t remember your name or conversations/experiences or basic things about myself, every few weeks my brain gets factory reset and I have to relearn how to be alive
#lighthearted but also serious bc what is going on here buddy#been feeling weird as hell these past few months#like I can remember some stuff… but it doesn’t feel normal to forget the names of anyone I haven’t seen/heard the name of in a few days#or forget about basic interests and personality traits and experiences and feel like a blank slate every day#idk like ultimately life goes on and I’m happy to live in the moment but it would be nice to understand why my brain is doing this#just thinking#meposting#I think my brain just. does this sometimes when I’m stressed. which is annoying#I recall (lmao) feeling similar during earlier parts of life so this isn’t *new* it’s just unexpected and much more disruptive as an adult#I’m feeling better about it than I was. after like. acknowledging it. bc my mind has not always felt like a sieve it isn’t always this bad.#whatever#I’ll tag as dissociation just in case it’s related/reminiscent and ppl don’t want to see that#dissociation#me and her go way back… haven’t seen each other in years though#she wasnt all bad! coping mechanisms can provide relief and a sense of safety#and as far as coping mechanisms go it’s not the most unhealthy. though it ranks high in ‘socially stunting’#I kind of miss the distance sometimes to be honest everything’s just So Much all the time#I’m so solid now#so stuck in the ruts of capitalism#fuck capitalism#I wish my imagination didn’t feel so dulled#sorry I love talking#and I don’t miss dissociation when I feel mentally present because I feel so Here with the people and things I love but rn?#it’s like a lose-lose bc I am not Here nor am I untethered. I’m heavy yet hold nothing#I enjoy being dramatic/poetic about it — I feel pretty fine. I just hope this isn’t a permanent and/or long-term state of existence.#like it makes me awful at my job I went from remembering a solid amount of the student body’s names (built up over a few years) to. like 5.#overnight it felt like. like Stressful Thing happened and I went to work and I couldn’t remember anyone’s names.#can’t believe I have to start from fucking scratch AGAIN I’d be better off quitting and working at a different school#bc at least then my lack of knowledge/remembering is justified rather than strange and seemingly rude#I’m getting better now but at the beginning of this it was blue screen in my brain all the time
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took a bunch of clothes to my mom's to wash them since my washing machine is still down and she said 'ill do it dw about it' and threw my favourite white top in with the colours. i no longer have a favourite white top :)
#and i cant even be mad at her because her husband is dead#lol and lmao#anyway the top is now the ugliest greyish minty colour and it looks horrible#normally i wouldnt mind. like there were two white tops and the other also got dyed and idc#but this one had a more unique idc shape? whatever you call that. and it was one of the very few crop tops#that really made me feel good about my body. like not even 'ok i guess i dont look like something that crawled out of a garbage bin'#but genuinely 'good'#and it feels so stupid to be this upset over such a small thing but i feel like ive been at the very limit for the last few days#with everyone fucking crying around me#that this genuinely feels like a tragedy to me rn lol#anyway im being nice and i keep saying its no big deal and nvm but ig you can see that im upset#so now SHE'S mad that I'M mad even tho im not even being a bitch about it im just Sad lol#kms#anyway i feel like shit and it all feels so overwhelming and to think that ill have to spend the long weekend in may here too#my dad and his gf will be at my place in wrocław going to concerts cause there's some sort of festival#all my friends will be chilling and having fun#and i cant even go to prague or vice versa because ill have to be here. having the time of my life with my mother and my grandpa#losing my mind and getting panick attacks in the bathroom lol
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Sorry this is very random but I was looking at Jari Saario (who tried to row across Atlantic and who hanged out with Käärijä yesterday) on Instagram and I noticed Aleksi & Olli both follow him and when I looked at their following lists it looks like they started following him around the same time too🥺
okay but this gives me brainworms of the two of them watching Linnan juhlat together last night 🥹 like yesssss I know Aleksi (re)posted that IG story from the studio session with Rock Band From Hell around the time when it was airing, but obviously it doesn't mean they were still in the studio at that time, right? I mean, who works in the evening on Independence Day, come ooooon 😭 so yeah, I have accepted the headcanon that Olli and Allu watched the hand-shaking marathon together, or the very least have had some discussions about it and been keeping up with the news feed related to the party, which is CLEAR AS DAY EVIDENCE they've spent time together (AGAIINNNN), thank you good night 🤧
#and yes i know MANY people work on independence day lol you know what i mean though#losing my mind over how these two do everything together siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh#because that's their brand of special friends i guess#now watch aleksi brush this off in his next stream (WHEN?!?!!?!?) by saying something like ''yeah we had lunch''#when asked if they spent independence day together 🙄#lmao guess what i just decided ''lunch'' is an euphemism for fucking hehe you heard it here first 💅#answered asks#anon asks#ollixallu
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so. in order to progress ur relationship with Akechi. he actually takes u down to mementos, alone, and challenges u to beat the shit out of him with Lethal Intent. which is very likely mutual. ohh this kid is on a whole other level huh
#like. excuse me??????#WIAT THIS IS SO. LMAO I HAVE A PERSONA THAT FUCKS OVER EVERYTHING HE USES THIS IS SO SAD#sorry buddy#like. i cannot express enough that he literally cant damage me with anything except his almighty attack#and his gun if he can use that here . unsure. he didnt try#'if you werent useful to me right now id kill you on the spot <3' ok u tell urself that but i just kicked ur ass to the depths of mementos#these two are so. so. there are so many fucking things wrong with u. hoooooly shit#'if we had fought to the end do you see yourself winning' U COULDNT EVEN HIT ME#'i hate you' i would too if that happened to me dw#im joking but this is like. the most mentally ill conversation. in the worst/best way. losing my mind rn#go off robbie daymond.. he fuckin nailed Akechis dialogue here. and like the whole game but definitely here#ah. the glove :)#ive already said this but every time he says something i need to reiterate. there is so much wrong with this kid#p5
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#met the hottest butch ive ever seen in my whole entire life tonight#nigh-on everyone in the room had fucking heart eyes SO BIG for her the WHOLE TIME. and then#when she said she ''really couldnt do a relationship right now''#you could hear hearts break in that room fulla gayass bitches#ABSOLUTELY including mine in that count lmao. but also im delusional so even tho after tomorrow i know ill probably never see her again#i am sitting here in bed -- HOURS later -- SIGHING WISTFULLY like a moronnnnn#lmfao. goddamnit.#hopeless romantic central; emphasis on hopeless#she was so fucking funny oh my god. and the goddamn butchivalry was off the CHARTS#i couldnt decide whether to swoon or let my own butch tendencies make me start competing lmfaooo#she was a friend of a friend visiting from the next town over; and this mutual friend had been hyping up her arrival so much id started to#think it was bc she was trying to set us up or something. which legit started to make me kinda nervous before she got here#and now im going fucking insane because oh my GOD#OH MY GODDDDD.#literally just. losing my goddamn mind. i dont know this girl at ALL & ik i dont do casual eeeeeven a little bit & shes NOT looking for That#but... fuck. goddamn. gotDAMN she was so cool#i doubt she was looking at me much If At All lmao; we were all just chilling... im just. objectively Not Good at Being Chill#anyway im writing this here hours later so i dont text our mutual friend at 5am about how rad meeting her was like some kinda creep lmfao#bee speaks#my outfit was cute but i doubt she was lookin; esp since i came straight to the party after a performance so i was in... weird shape lmao#altho im VERY glad we got to meet Before shes supposed to come see the show tomorrow lmao.#like. now at the very least her first impression of me isnt me-as-kreon; asshole misogynistic tyrant dictator-in-chief that he is hdkdgk
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🔁 |[HIT ME. ♥]|
"You're going to get us killed." - Interaction Rewrite Prompts!
For Leonard, the weight of a child's blood upon his weapon was heavier than anything else he had handled before in his lifetime.
He hadn't the honour to have even called it the first, but different from his brothers, who had found their end directly by the blades of the Empire, there was no hope for the blame of responsibility to be lifted off his shoulders now that he had wielded that same blade himself.
Leonard's breathing was panicked and uneven. A cold sweat ran down his back as the sensation of the light body being flung backwards shot once more through his arms - he felt ill. Had he died? Had he done away with his life in that forest and been sentenced to hell? Perhaps it was all a punishment, an eternity spent in war, ending the lives of children just as he had his brothers. The screams had sounded too familiar for comfort.
He couldn't, couldn't bring himself to fight. The stakes didn't come to him. The seal didn't exist to him. The usually tranquil forest had roared with the sounds of the clashing steel, the hurried footsteps, the cries and mockery of the faerie - something like the dragon's voice had called his name in harsh rebuke, and whether it truly was her or Caim, Leonard didn't understand and stumbled blindly back to the garrisons in a piteous attempt to flee.
Too cowardly to die, and too starved to survive.
All that was clear to him against the roar of noise was his own breathing, the feeling of his heart pounding in its chest, and the crushing weight of the guilt from that thought repeating itself in his head like a mantra. Leonard struggled to break out of it - do or say something that could stop this madness. Anything. A sickened cry sounded at the sound of the mercenary's own cold reproach, and the hermit struggled to respond.
"Caim, please...!"
He had tried to utter words, either protest or a plea, but his throat had grown tight and left only a quiet whimper. Was that all he could do? Beg...? Leonard's weapon trembled in his hands. He was truly weak... He could have done more than beg. Just like his brothers, there was a thought that told him that he could have saved them. But, it was all the same. His family murdered for the sake of shameful pleasure. The blood of children spilled only for his own protection - his own cowardice to even die correctly. All for himself, a pathetic existence unable to even lift a finger against the slaughter of children.
Some wretched noise, a ragged fight for strained breath against the pounding heart in his chest, could be heard against the armoured thumps of bodies against the ground. Even from a distance, Leonard's frozen body could be seen trembling uncontrollably. The polearm dangled limply from his hands.
"They are only mere children...!"
The last uttered words before the hermit collapsed to his knees were a heart-wrenching sob.
Not a voice of disgust, but a cry in horror.
#||Reply||:Caim#{/without you i lose my mind.... GIVE ME A CAAAA~IIIIMMMM}#{/the way i JUMPED when i got this though!!! ! bri! caim!!! hello!!!!! that's my fucking guy right there!}#{/dreams DO come true!!}#{/BUT LIKE; LISTEN.}#{/THIS IS E X T R A SPECIAL BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT??? IT'S NOT JUST THE FIRST LEONARD-CAIM INTERACTION}#{/BUT LIKE}#{/LITERALLY HIS FIRST INTERACTION EVER!!!! this was the first ask i got on this blog!!!}#{/so that made it VERY hard to read lmao BUT I WAS SO HAPPY TO REDO THIS ONE IN PARTICULAR GOD BLESS}#{/both for its personal significance and ALSO as i mentioned}#{/the old ask makes me cringeeeeee.....}#{/this still could be better but here's the thing: it IS better compared to that lmao}#{/i really do wanna dive into leonard's likely trauma post-leonard's regret regarding that... <w<}#{/i would also KILL to see caim's whole retrospective on that someday as well omg}#{/BUT SERIOUSLY BRI TYSM FOR THE CAIMMMMM I MISS THAT NASTY LITTLE SHITGOBLIN SO MUCHHHHH <3333 it really brought me back QwQ}#{<- may or may not have taken so long on this because i was busy reading through old asks/replies and reminiscing}#{/i mean it when i say it now: leonard will be back in full swing SOON. after i get this last ask figured out and his DS1 verse established#{/im sending in the memes i have in my.......... 90 saved drafts folder lmao}#{/i keep PANICKING over all my drafts and literally a majority of it is just misc writing things that aren't even for this blog and memes}#{/either way; AGAIN; thank you so much for the ask!! i hope its at least better than the old one lmao}#{/and im so happy to write for caim again!!!! give him all my well wishes dhfbdfkjhbdkfj}
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