#looking at tracker music is so fun and awesome

[smokyproggrock]

I already thought it was cool that the slushmouth tracks in hypnospace were made by someone who was in the demoscene but they're also remakes of his old songs from the 90s...!

[thisapplepielife]

Written for @steddiesongfics.

If He Wanted To, He Would

July Prompt: Any Song Lyrics | Word Count: 2000 | Rating: T | CW: Language | Tags: Eddie POV, Modern Setting, Sports AU, Rockstar Eddie, Baseball Player Steve, Very Public Love Affair, Corroded Coffin, Good Uncle Wayne Munson

I've used lyrics from Take Me Out to the Ball Game & Blank Space.

Even the news is covering it. 

That's fucking ridiculous. There's an animated graphic, a live tracker of where his plane is, a moving dot over the Atlantic, like it's Christmas Eve and he's Santa Claus.

Eddie's gonna make it. He was always gonna make it, even as the press ran the numbers, the miles, and milked every ounce of drama out of it.

He made game one, and game four, and now he's racing back from playing Wembley in London to make it for game seven. The media has tried to sell the idea that Steve wanted the World Series to go to seven, just so Eddie would be able to attend.

Eddie's glad he's getting to see it, of course he is, but if they could have swept it in four, or locked it down in five or six, that would have been fucking awesome. Even if that meant Eddie missed seeing it live, and had to watch on television, in the middle of the night, across the world.

There are a shitton of tiktoks every week, dissecting their every move, looking for easter eggs. Eddie is just living his life, even if a million people are always watching him like a fucking hawk.

Goodie is walking back from the beer garden in the stadium, carrying his plastic cup in his mouth as he fiddles with something in his hands. Not spilling a goddamn drop. Eddie can only see this because he's being broadcast onto the stadium jumbotron.

When he climbs the stairs into the suite, Eddie asks, "Where's Gareth?"

"Got spotted. Now he's taking pictures. I just slipped away unnoticed. Sucker," Goodie says, putting his cup down on the table.

"Unnoticed, huh?" Eddie teases. He won't tell him. He'll just wait until Goodie sees it online for himself. "There's free beer back there you know?" Eddie asks. Neither one of them needed to venture out into the crowd.

Goodie shrugs, "I wanted this kind."

He could have had that kind, could have had any kind, if he'd just asked for it. But no, he wanted to be out among the people. 

None of them are particularly fond of baseball, but they are fond of Steve, so here they are. The whole band doesn't always come, but it's the championship game, so they did.

And the score has been 1-0 forever. 

Wayne is pacing. Unlike them, he loves baseball, even if he's been a little turncoat, switching teams like a lifetime of dedication meant nothing at all. He's gotten a little shit from his friends back home, but Eddie thinks it's honestly very sweet. Eddie loves that Wayne likes Steve enough to put him and his team as his number one with a bullet, now.

It helps that Steve's part of a fucking dynasty. It's fun to win, even Eddie gets that.

Wayne doesn't always hang out in suites. More often than not, he'd rather sit in the stands. Focus on the baseball, not the celebrity that's now surrounding it. But Wayne's been dragged into their highly publicized love affair, and now he's starting to get recognized all on his own, so Eddie worries. 

Plus, he'd rather have him right here, where they can spend time together.

"What's the count?" Eddie asks. 

"3-2," Wayne answers.

Eddie's distracted, filling his plate with the various appetizers that came with the steep price of the private suite. Sliders, pigs in a blanket, and all kinds of other fancified versions of comfort food. He's just scooping some mac & cheese on his plate when he hears his main guitar riff from Buckwild. He puts down his plate, making his way to the big windows just in time to see Steve step towards the batter's box. 

Steve only changes his walk-up music to Corroded Coffin when Eddie's in attendance. He currently walks-up to Milkshake, which is fucking hilarious. He's one of the first openly out players, and he really leans into it, changing up his walk-up music, usually to something a little queer. Eddie knows it's partially to poke fun at himself first, before anyone else can. 

But tonight, it's his song. Eddie's sure he's being broadcast on the jumbotron from some camera he can't even see, and may even be on live television. Eddie watches as Steve briefly points his bat, and at first Eddie thinks Steve's calling his shot, but no. Not unless he's intending to hit a foul ball.

No, he gestured at Eddie. At least where he assumed Eddie would be.

Eddie fiddles with the rings on his hand, moving from finger to finger, twisting them around and around as Steve swings and misses for the second time. Eddie can hardly watch, it makes him so nervous.

"What's the count?" Eddie asks. It's the only question he knows to ask.

"2-2," Wayne says from somewhere behind him. Wayne doesn't stand at the front when it's likely the camera is on them. Eddie gets it, he does, but he'd like him at his side. The windows are open tonight, and the fans in the seats in front of the suite have leaned up to talk to them, to get things signed, and Eddie has done it. They all have. Waving off security.

Nobody is being shitty, just excited, and Eddie's grateful he's been accepted by most of Steve's fans. There was always the fear that he'd be seen as a distraction, and sure, that's been a bit of the narrative, but Steve's in the goddamn World Series. His head is obviously still in the game.

Eddie signed a custom Corroded Coffin jersey with Steve's number on the back earlier, and if that wasn't fucking weird and delightful. And Harrington jerseys have been increasingly spotted at their gigs, from one in the crowd, to a dozen or more.

Steve takes the next ball, and Eddie was terrible at baseball as a kid. He swung at everything. He never had the self-control to wait for something good. 

He's glad he grew out of that, at least a little, because he waited, and now he has Steve. A goddamn home run in human form. 

Eddie's relieved when he hears the crack of the bat finally making contact with the ball, and he watches intently until Steve's safely on first, Eddie leaning out of the open box window, hanging onto the frame, screaming.

He rights himself, clapping hard as he spins in a circle, screaming some more.

Then, Eddie watches as Steve steals second on a wild pitch, and the stadium sound system blares to life with Gimme Three Steps.

Steve dusts himself off from his slide in, and Eddie is so fucking smitten. 

And his ass looks damn good in those pants. His milkshake did bring Eddie to the yard.

It's the seventh-inning stretch, and Eddie hears the familiar, "for it's one, two, three strikes, you're out," being sung by the entire stadium.

He's nervous now. More nervous than he ever is going on stage anymore.

They've made it this far, and he wants Steve to win the whole thing. 

They do win. Steve fielded a grounder, whipped it to first base, and with one last out, it was finally over. Gloves being thrown in the air, lots of hugs and jumping up and down.

Steve did it.

And Eddie smiles.

Steve isn't released, not yet. There'll be interviews, and a parade that Eddie unfortunately can't attend, so Eddie only gets a few minutes in the tunnel with him. Some stolen kisses and a silly groped handful, just giving Steve's cup a squeeze, to make him laugh. 

It's all too brief, but he'll see him soon. 

They go from the game straight back to the airport, Goodie and Gareth both pretty drunk after too many celebratory shots, leaving Jeff and him to babysit as they get wheels up, to head back across the pond. Their world tour, waiting.

They'll make it. 

Steve swears jet-lag is a choice, and Eddie's choosing to believe him.

Another city, and his turn on the big stage, as Eddie looks out towards the VIP tent. Steve waves with both hands over his head, making himself larger, more easily seen.

Steve attended a few Monday shows with Robin, when their schedules lined up enough to allow it. But now his season is over. He's a fucking world champion, and it's the offseason, which is Eddie's new favorite word.

If he'd known he'd fall in love with a sportsball guy, he would have made sure their tour had a lengthy break during this magical offseason.

Next year.

And Eddie is confident that next year is a given. That's how in he is with their relationship, with Steve. They both have their own lives, their own fame, their own increasingly busy schedules. But they make it work, because they want it to work.

The fans have dubbed all their crisscrossing travel as "if he wanted to, he would" and have been straight up swooning. 

Eddie likes that thought, because he does want to, and he knows Steve wants to, too.

He's committed to this thing, and so is Steve. And if that means flying for hours to be there for the important shit, even if you have to turn around and fly right back, well fuck, you do it. And you don't even think about it.

Eddie slips in a pop cover, mid-set, just being silly, because he wants to shout out Steve a little bit extra tonight. He sings and when he gets to "'cause you know I love the players, and you love the game" and the crowd gets behind it. Steve, too, if his hands in the air are any indication. 

He's a pop girlie at heart, and Eddie loves him for it.

Steve is comfortable in his own skin, and he likes what he likes. He's supportive of Eddie, of Corroded Coffin, and very demonstrative with his affection and admiration. The love is always free-flowing. But, heavy metal isn't his thing. Not really. And that's okay.

So, a little pop is injected for his benefit, Eddie saying 'I love you for who you are' right back.

Buckwild is last, is always last, and Steve's here, so that means a subtle lyric change. He only does it when Steve's in attendance, and it makes the crowd go wild. Changing one word is enough to send them into a frenzy, like they're part of something special and sacred.

They are.

When he approaches the lyric, Steve has moved closer, right at the stage, in front of the barricade, and puts his hand up to his ear, hyping the crowd, getting ready for it, and Eddie can hardly sing through his fucking smile.

When they exit the stage, the first face he sees is Steve's, and Steve opens his arms and Eddie hugs him, pulling back and kissing him, over and over.

He's the one. 

The one he loves.

The one he'll marry.

The one. Period.

Steve waves to the crowd that's gathered to watch, and then he puts his arm around Eddie's waist, ushering him away, one more show over.

In bed, Eddie rests his head against Steve's bare chest. These last few weeks have been different, brand new, and exciting. It's the first time they've really gotten to feel like they're coming home to each other. Getting to be in the same place for an extended period of time, Steve following the tour.

Steve brushes Eddie's bangs off his face, and kisses his forehead.

"You were amazing tonight," Steve whispers, and Eddie grins. 

"So were you, working the crowd," Eddie says.

Steve laughs, and Eddie loves it. Steve's not shy. He's had all the media training, probably more than Eddie, because he's got a brand, a team, to protect. Eddie just runs his mouth at-will, always has.

Steve doesn't hide backstage where Eddie can't see him, no, he always makes sure he's supporting Eddie out loud and with his whole goddamn chest.

So, because he wants to, he does.

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @steddiesongfics and follow along with the fun! 🎶

Notes: Obviously inspired by the very public relationship of Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce. Goodie carrying the beer in his teeth is straight up a shoutout to Jason Kelce doing that at the Eras tour. 🍺

This one was so hard to stop writing for at the 2k max word count, lol.

[sendmyresignation]

hii if u don't mind, any metal bands you'd recommend for someone wanting to get into slightly more obscure stuff but doesn't know where to start digging? any subgenre/time period idc. asking u this bc i trust ur knowledge

i truly truly love getting asks like this, thank you for trusting me and it's awesome to hear you want to dig deeper!!

it's hard for me to give specific recs because i don't know what you've vibed with so ill meet you half way and give you a list as well as some places to learn more just in case i end up in the wrong direction.

these are some bands that clicked for me when i was first exploring outside my comfort zone, as well as some stuff from my aoty from the last few years:

Possessed - Seven Churches; this one is the least obscure but i feel like possessed are easy to miss. important band bridging the gap between thrash and death metal. love crazy maniac shit like this

Satan- Court in the Act; classic new wave of british heavy metal with a bit of edit. type of band that had enormous pull in underground power and speed metal scenes- this is a blueprint for a lot of great obscure heavy metal with the soaring vocals and the tappy solos. i love chastain (american, mid/late 80s response) if you want to see that lineage in effect

Mystifier - Goetia; brazilian metal is a huge huge historically important metal phenomenon. sepultura are more well-known and sarcofago are cult classic black metal pioneers (seriously, inri is one of the greats) but mystifier is a band that opened up the scene for me a little more and is incredible in their own right

Autopsy - Metal Funeral; slow, gripping death metal carnage!! also one of the few legacy bands continuing to release actual good music which is fun. also, if you like the autopsy you'll love derketa, dream death, mythic, winter, all of whom make their own twist on a similar crushing brand of doomy death metal goodness

Sabbat- Envenom; long-running old-school japanese black metal. has that thrashy-punk first wave flavor along the lines of celtic frost, root, bulldozer (also sarcofago) and sodom at their most brutal.

Sacrilege- Behind the Realms of Madness; crusty thrash that had a huge influence on early bolt thrower. good if you're into punk already and want more of that in the metal (their later records lose the crust but gain doom- I almost like them more. killer band)

Vastum. any of their records seriously maybe the best active band on the planet rn.

Warning- Watching from a Distance; if you got to metal through my mcr blog then i think you can handle the whiny vocals on this and get a legit transformative experience out of Warning. seriously love this album, delightfully heavy doom in an emotional package. and doom is easy to rec, satisfying and not to extreme: Pentagram, Candlemass, Trouble, and Saint Vitus are all must must listens

Chevalier- Destiny Calls; combination of speed and power i really love in the classic heavy metal fantasy and knights vein. newer band too with a lot of similar listening to bigger bands in that scene. and if you like this style at all manilla road (the band) is a requirement if you aren't already familar

Some eclectic newer stuff I've enjoyed lately: Vicious Blade, Tyrann, Reverend Bizarre, Nekromantheon, Firmament, Svalbard, Vampirska, Ares Kingdom, Messa

but i really recommend checking out r/metal- their essentials is good for a beginner but they also have a ton of primers that can give you overviews of niche genres. the fenriz metal spotify playlist is also fuckin killer. For new music, look into reviews from sites like angrymetalguy, no clean singing, heavy blog is heavy, invisible oranges. helpful to know how your taste aligns with the writing staff (like i know if angrymetalguy dislikes something, im almost guaranteed to like it). shreddit has a release tracker on spotify; there's also a constant update of new releases on the metal archive!

[pimento-playing-hopscotch]

I’ve been rewatching Chuck to see if it’s as good as I remember and it isn’t… turns out it is BETTER. And I’m in season 4 and just finished “Chuck versus the Impossible Seduction” the first episode after they finished the Volkoff stuff (or rather the elder Volkoff stuff) and I thought this episode was great_ no slouch! No drop in quality! Then I googled it and saw that someone at the AV Club site gave it a C minus?!?!?!?!

And I thought to myself- do I need to post everything that was great I’m this episode? Yes I do! Will I do this for every episode of Chuck I watch going forward? It’s a possibility!! (Maybe not season 5- really took a dip in quality, AND THAT ENDING- GRRRRR). Did I just watch the episode of Scrubs where Turk’s attending is a question talker? Yes I did. Is it fun to do? Y’all it really is.

Moments that were the best or cute/funny/awesome in Chuck versus the Seduction Impossible”

The fluff of team Bartowksi all at Ellie and Awesome’s with baby Clara. Like I know that Chuck and Sarah and Casey are freaking out but this is such great fluff, like this is so sweet and IT IS CANON!! Like there are some shows like Teen Wolf/Marvel stuff that I really like more as fics than the actual content cause the fics they can be sweet and take care of each other and this is so important and yet there is never time for it in actual content. Like in real life, life is garbage- I want to see my fictional people happy dammit! Like Chuck and Ellie’s mom is there and it is ALL SO CUTE!

The music that starts whenever Morgan is giving Casey “news”. Like I love they did more with those two, it’s an unlikely pairing that really paid off.

Mama (Grandmama!) Bartowski offers her veil to Sarah if she would want to borrow it. Like I know they were undercover together briefly but still it’s sweet.

Ellie protesting someone that Devon brought up who had a beige themed wedding (which… what) prompting him to say “you know; something old, something blue, something borrowed, something beige”.

General Beckman’s long pause when the team calls her on the monitor and she has a drink in her hand.

Subsequently, her sliding the bottle out of frame (this is really a great episode for the general tbh).

Roan is captured by an all-girl army, and they wear maroon berets and blue camo outfits- it may not sound like much but they are SO CUTE. My useless bi ass is simping so hard over Fatima this episode.

Chuck over packing in anticipation of a ���shoot-dance mission”.

Chuck and Morgan remain the most wholesome besties ever, going over his problems in massage chairs in the Buy More.

Morgan’s very specific picturing what Chuck eloping would be like.

Part of what makes Chuck so adorable- he will run forward blindly with Morgan’s advice literally without a second thought (like Chuck, you’re in the desert; don’t say no to water).

Roan describing team Bartowski approaching him blindfolded as “two women… and a large man”.

How did Roan not think that Beckman would put a tracker in the watch she gave him!

Seriously, Fatima. Holy hell.

Okay I went and looked it up- Fatima is being played by Lesley-Ann Brandt. She is so stunning it’s unreal.

Alex doing a Casey-worthy growl when she finds out that Morgan told Casey to get in touch with Kathleen.

Casey under the bed as Roan and Fatima are on the bed- yes Chuck has done this but before but it never fails.

Chuck’s “but nothing I said no…woman” and Sarah’s shocked face right after. It’s like Chuck, you sneezy baby lamb.

Chuck and Sarah in a dungeon with Roan.

Sarah: “Are you calling me a ball and chain?!” Chuck: “There’s a ball and- there’s an ACTUAL ball and chain. Do you not see this on the ground attached to my leg!”

Everyone’s reaction at Casey planning to seduce one of the guards.

Casey epically failing at seducing the guard (seriously, NEVER use the word hearty. Don’t do it. Unless you’re describing soup).

Chuck: “Oh God, he’s gonna charm her”. Roan: “Tranq and explode, Casey! TRANQ AND EXPLODE!!”

Casey: “I’m rescuing you. Shut up!”

Roan: “This has been- a debacle!”

Casey asking them to tell Morgan he’ll be back in a week or so (yes technically Morgan is his Buy More boss but still love their odd couple friendship)

General Beckman and Roan sitting at opposite ends of the same table in Castle staring each other down, with Sarah and Chuck sitting in the middle like awkward middle schoolers at the dinner table.

Chuck attempting to excuse himself and Sarah and is cut off at the KNEES by General Beckman’s “SIT. DOWN.”

Chuck’s feeble “sitting down, ma’am”.

Roan being sent to work in the Buy More, with the old folk song “Sixteen Tons” playing in the background.

Roan describing his Buy More shirt as the “chafe of stylelessness”.

Everything about the 80s flashback.

How tiny Beckman is next to Roan

Chuck: “Beckman was a dirty blonde?” Roan: It was the 80’s. Everything was dirty blonde”.

Morgan calling Casey… while he is stuck in a wall (“of course you are” Morgan responds upon being told this).

Casey abruptly hanging up after Morgan tells Casey he’s there if he needs someone to talk to.

Roan: “You need to create an… erotic atmosphere”. Chuck: “Like a sexy situation?” Roan: “Yes, but… don’t say it like that”.

Sarah’s belly dance….. good god almighty, Sarah’s belly dance.

Seriously, that Chuck was able to snap out of it watching that…

Chuck admits to trying the same thing, “not nearly as well!”

Sarah stalking off to change after Beckman calls, her outfit still shimmying from side to side as Chuck rambles that of course he doesn’t want her to change into something else!

The next scene shows them with Beckman in Castle- with Sarah wearing the highest turtleneck imaginable.

Fatima on a throne surrounded by her badass girl army.

Casey being all too prepared to cut his arm off.

Grandmama Bartowksi telling baby Clara a story about a mission with Ellie listening. “Grandma was on a mission. Can you say mission?”

Sarah admitting she doesn’t want a big wedding cause she has no one on her side to invite.

Which - I object to Sarah needing someone to walk her down the aisle. She is giant blonde she-male Sarah motherfucking Walker!

Casey telling Chuck to step to the left, “other left, idiot”.

Casey successfully shooting four people… through a wall.

General Beckman saving Roan from what looked like a mile away - “DUCK!”

The adorable ness of Roan and Beckman out together.

Beckman has her hair down! I repeat, General Beckman has her hair down! And she looks quite lovely.

Seriously this is such a good General Beckman episode- two great quotes in the span of two minutes, “Roan, you NEVER run away from a general” and the her flirty “I have high hopes for Morocco tonight”. Get it, girl!

Casey seeing that Alex’s mom has got a new partner who is taking Alex and Morgan out to dinner.

Casey being a mensch about it- “Good for you, Kath”. I love the Casey has a daughter storyline so much!

Love Ellie and Mary’s talk; although there really was very little time where Ellie has not been in the dark “I made Chuck quit the CIA” are you sure about that?

Does she find out again? I actually don’t remember.

Ellie asks about the agent who Mary was telling the story about earlier- “he was a big romantic. And the greatest husband that there ever was”. My heart!

Chuck and Sarah being cuties at the end ♥️

Lol this was way too long and excessively detailed and I’m amazed it didn’t get deleted as three times my cat came to stand on my chest to clean my face for me… but Chuck is an amazing show that needs more love

[marauderundercover]

Taking Chances Ch. 18: Girl’s Night (Heroes/Villains)

AO3

Prev

First

Teleporting back into her room in Gotham, Marinette flops onto her bed. Passing Kaalki sugar cubes and Tikki a cookie, she suppresses the urge to scream into her pillow. She was sick and tired of Hawkmoth. Sick and tired of being the one who has to fix everything. She just wanted one week with no Hawkmoth, no akuma attacks. But no. Of course not. Of course he just had to send out a stupid akuma every single day. Because why not. How’re people supposed to know he’s still being the main villain of Paris if he takes a freaking day off? Once she finds out who he is, she’s going to punch him in his stupid face. A knock on her door pulls her from her plotting ways to get back at Hawkmoth. 

“Come in.” She sighs, sitting up and forcing a tired smile on her face. 

“Marinette, your father wanted-” Selina starts, pausing as she looks her over. “Come on kitten, we’re having a girls day.” She says. Marinette raises an eyebrow. Sure she’d met Selina before, but they hadn’t really hung out yet. 

“What?” She asks. 

“You look exhausted and angry, sweetheart. Spending too much time with these boys isn’t going to help. So you’re gonna grab anything you need for an overnight trip and we’re going to go watch movies and eat junk food til we’re sick.” Selina instructs. Marinette grins, jumping up and shoving stuff into her backpack. She puts Kaalki’s glasses into her purse and lets her and Tikki fly in before she turns to Selina. 

“Ready!” She says, practically bouncing up and down in excitement. It’d been ages since she’d had a girls day with anyone. She was so ready to just take a break and be silly. 

“Well come on then. Harley and Ivy are going to adore you.” Selina says, slinging her arm around Marinette’s shoulders. Somehow, they manage to not see anyone on the way to Selina’s car. Which is weird, but it is a weekday so everyone probably had something to do besides sit around the manor. Pulling away from the manor, Selina flips on the radio, the new Jagged Stone song blasting full volume.

“Nice taste in music.” Marinette says with a wide grin. Selina smirks. 

“I have to like the man at least a little, his designer is one of my kids after all.” She says. Marinette smiles, a warm feeling flooding through her. Selina didn’t have to accept her with open arms, she didn’t have to treat her like she was her own daughter. But she did, and Marinette was so thankful for that. Thankful that even so far away from her Maman, she still had a Mom there for her. The two nod along to the music, scream singing the chorus together as the car pulls to a stop in front of an apartment building. Marinette glances at the building, suddenly nervous. Would Harley and Ivy like her? Or would they just tolerate her for Selina. 

“Don’t make yourself nervous, sweetheart. Harley and Ivy are two of the sweetest people I know. They’re gonna love you.” Selina says reassuringly, reaching over and squeezing Marinette’s shoulder. Marinette lets out a breath before nodding. 

“Okay, let’s go.” She says, grabbing her bag and jumping out of the car. She follows closely behind Selina, not wanting to give anyone the chance to get between them. You could never be too careful in Gotham. They walk into the building and go straight into the elevator, Selina pushing the button and leaning up against the wall while they wait. Marinette bounces on the balls of her feet, excitement and nerves bundling together. The second the elevator stops, Marinette’s out, following Selina down the hall. She pulls out a key, winking at Marinette before turning and unlocking the door. 

“Honey, I’m home!” She calls, and Marinette’s jaw drops. The apartment was quite literally covered in plants and vines. They were beautiful. She grins as one of the vines near her leans towards her, a small flower blooming at the end of it. 

“And who did you bring with you?” A tall woman with red hair asks, walking into the room. The designer inside of Marinette instantly has a million questions about the woman’s outfit. It seemed to be made entirely of plants, but she could also tell that they were still alive. She had no idea how the woman had managed that, but she guessed that it was something that couldn’t be replicated for someone else. 

“I’m Marinette. Nice to meet you!” She says with a wide smile. The woman, who Marinette assumes is Ivy, grins back. 

“Nice to meet you, Flower. I see you’ve already made a friend.” She says, gesturing to the vine which was now wrapped around Marinette’s wrist. Marinette giggles. 

“Well, I was hoping they liked me and that’s what this was. I have a garden back in Paris, and I’d hate to find out plants actually hate me.” She says. Ivy shakes her head. 

“No worries there. They adore you, it’s a little odd if I’m honest.” Ivy says, dodging Selina who tries to flick her. 

“Did I hear Selina?” Another voice asks, a short blonde woman walking into the room. Her hair was short and choppy, the small pigtails at the top of her head dyed pink. Marinette grinned at the woman’s outfit- a Gotham Amusement Pier t-shirt, Batman pajama pants, and hot pink fuzzy socks. She wondered if her dad knows that Harley Quinn has Batman pj pants….probably not. 

“Yes, with a guest.” Selina says, plopping onto the couch and gesturing over to Marinette, who was still standing by her new vine friend. 

“Hi! I’m Marinette, it’s nice to meet you.” She says, smiling and waving with her free hand. Ivy whispers something and the vine squeezes a bit before letting go, letting her move away from the door. 

“Well aren’t ya just the cutest!” Harley squeals, running forward and giving her a big hug. “Didjya finally join your boytoy’s adopting habits?” Harley adds, still clutching onto Marinette. Selina snorts. 

“No, he beat me to her. But she’s definitely mine, too.” She says, making Marinette’s face turn red. Harley coos at her, ruffling her hair before stepping back. 

“So what brings ya here? Get annoyed with Bats already?” Harley asks. Marinette blinks in shock. Harley knows? She thinks about it for a minute, and realizes it just makes sense. They’d been fighting long enough and then he started his relationship with Selina, who was one of Harley’s best friends. It just made sense that Harley (who was extremely smart) would put two and two together. 

“No, just thought that Mari could use a girl’s day. She’s been stuck with just the boys for over a week.” Selina explains. Harley gasps. 

“The horror!” She says, making Marinette giggle. “Come on pumpkin, I’ve got the comfiest jammies ever. Oooo, and we can paint our nails! Ivy, find the movies, Selina, you’re on snacks. This is gonna be so much fun!” Harley orders, grabbing Marinette’s hand and tugging her along to one of the bedrooms, Selina’s laugh echoing throughout the apartment. 

“I did bring pjs, ma’am.” Marinette says, once Harley stops tugging her and starts searching through a drawer. 

“Bet that can’t be comfier than the ones I’ve got for ya! And call me Harley kiddo, or Auntie Harley if ya wanna.” She says, looking up from the drawer to smile widely. She looks back and cheers in victory, pulling out a pair of bright red pajama pants. Marinette snorts when she notices the logo all over the pants. 

“Really?” She asks, giggling. Harley smirks. 

“We’ll have to take a picture of us and send it to your old man. Really get ‘im riled up.” She says. Marinette nods excitedly, taking the Robin pants from Harley. This was gonna be awesome. 

---

Bruce sighs, looking at the news report from Paris from earlier. The damned butterflies were hard to track. He was used to figuring out problems quickly, and this one was taking too long for comfort. It wouldn’t bother him as much if it was anywhere else, but it was directly impacting his daughter. She was being hurt daily, and she’d even died and now she was plagued with nightmares. All because of a man with some magic jewelry. God, he hated magic. A knock on the study door stirs him from his thoughts. 

“Come in.” He says.

“Hey B, have you seen Mari? I was gonna ask her if she wanted to go get ice cream with me and Little D.” Dick asks, leaning against the door frame, Damian standing next to him with his arms crossed.

“Not since breakfast. There was another akuma attack earlier, but it wasn’t a bad one. She wasn’t injured.” He says, remembering the completely strange battle from earlier. It was some man with pigeons, and apparently this was the 34th time the man had been akumatized over pigeons. 

“Did you not check her room after the battle?” Damian asks, eyebrow quirked. Bruce sighs. 

“It was the pigeon one again. I assumed that she’d want to take a nap, if anything. She still hasn’t been sleeping well. Tim said she’s awake every morning when he comes up for coffee, whether it’s three or five, she’s up.” Bruce explains, frowning at the thought of his youngest daughter’s sleep habits. He certainly didn’t need another sleep deprived coffee addict like Tim. It wasn’t healthy. 

“Well I already checked her room. She wasn’t there.” Dick says, and Bruce frowns, pulling out his phone to send a text to Tim and call Jason. One of them had to have seen her. She never left the house without telling one of the family, unless it was for a battle. 

“What.” Jason says gruffly, Bruce is just grateful he answered. Up until a couple of months ago, Jason would have rather thrown his phone in the river than answer one of Bruce’s calls. 

“Have you seen Marinette?” He asks, getting straight to the point.

“No? Why? What’s wrong?” Jason asks, and Bruce hears shuffling as Jason rushes around wherever it is he is. 

“Nothing. I’ll call you back.” He says, hanging up. He glances down at his texts and notices Tim hasn’t seen her either. He frowns, but doesn’t panic yet. Pulling out his computer, he pulls up the tracker that was on each of his children’s phones. He scans the map, frowning when he sees that her phone is still in the manor. In her room. He stands and swiftly moves past his sons to get to his daughter’s room. He knocks, waiting for an answer. None. 

“Marinette?” He calls, knocking again. “I’m opening the door.” He warns, pushing it open. He frowns at the empty room, nothing appearing out of place. 

“Do you think she had to pop back to Paris for something?” Dick asks, coming up behind him. Bruce shakes his head. 

“No, she would have told us. Suit up, she has to be somewhere in-” He stops as his phone chimes. He looks at it and feels all of the tension leave his shoulders. 

Took our youngest daughter for a girl’s day, back tomorrow XO. Of course Selina had her. 

“She’s with the Sirens. She’ll be back tomorrow.” Bruce says, suppressing a smile at the annoyed look on his youngest’s face. She was safe, and that’s what matters. Even if he was certain he’d have to listen to Damian complain for the entirety of patrol. 

---

“Make all the boy moose go WAAAAAAAAA!” Harley says with the movie, laughing loudly. Marinette chuckles, passing Tikki a cookie in her purse before sticking another spoonful of ice cream in her mouth. 

“I still like the first one more.” Selina says, taking a sip of her wine. Harley sticks her tongue out at her before turning her attention back to the movie. 

“Do you think Mia is secretly a superhero?” Marinette asks, frowning in thought. 

“What on earth are you talking about?” Ivy asks, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Even Harley pauses the movie to turn and stare at her. 

“Stan Lee.” Marinette says with a shrug. 

“Is that s’posed to mean something to me, kid? Cause I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about.” Harley says, obviously confused. Marinette huffs. 

“Stan Lee makes a cameo in this movie. And Stan Lee is the creator of Marvel, right? He’s made a cameo in like, every single Marvel movie. So is Mia secretly a superhero? Is that why he’s in the movie?” Marinette rambles, almost flinging ice cream at Selina as she gestures crazily. 

“Sweetie, how much sleep have you had in the past three days?” Selina asks after a few moments of silence. 

“Not important. Is Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldi, Princess of Genovia, also a superhero? Does she secretly work for SHIELD? Or is she more like Iron Man, like a freelance superhero? Was she a hero in San Francisco too? Or did she take over a hero's mantle when she moved to Genovia? Cause she was really clumsy in the first movie and also super awkward, but now she’s less clumsy and she seems to be more put together, but are heroes really put together? I don’t think so. I think sometimes heroes pretend that they’re put together to make everyone else feel better when in all reality they’re seconds away from a breakdown themselves. Is Stan Lee coming to recruit her for SHIELD? Is that why he’s in Genovia? Does SHIELD have any jurisdiction there? Is there a Genovian branch of SHIELD?” Marinette rambles, suddenly stuck on the topic. Seriously, why is Stan Lee in Princess Diaries 2 if Mia isn’t a hero? Why would he-

“Kitten, take a breath.” Selina says, her hands on Marinette’s shoulders helping her to ground herself. Marinette takes in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. She blinks a few times, instantly feeling bad. 

“I’m so sorry.” She says, frowning. 

“What for?” Harley asks, looking confused. 

“For ruining girl’s night.” She says quietly. Selina pulls her into a tight hug and Marinette sinks into it. 

“Sweetheart, you didn’t ruin anything. I don’t know everything that’s going on. But what I do know, is that you rambling out a conspiracy theory about the movie we’re watching is not ruining girl’s night. Trust me. One time, we invited your brother Dick, and he ate all of the cookies by himself.” Selina says, Marinette snorts. Of course he did. “Now that’s a way to ruin girl’s night.” She adds, squeezing her once more before leaning back.

“Let's watch something that we can just get lost in and not have to think at all.” Ivy suggests, looking through the stack of dvd’s. Marinette glances over, eyes instantly catching one of her favorite movies. 

“Legally Blonde?” She suggests, Harley squeals. 

“That’s it, you’re officially ours. Brucie can fight me.” She says, putting in the dvd. Marinette laughs, laying her head on Selina’s shoulder, grabbing a handful of popcorn. She could get used to nights like these.

Next Chapter

Bonus chapter: Harley Vs Bruce

Drawing of Harley and Mari’s pajamas

Tag list: @maribat-bdbwm @vixen-uchiha @stainedglassm @liquid-luck-00 @jayjayspixiepop @jjmjjktth @mizzy-pop @trippingovermyfeet @queenz-z @thepaceperson @iloontjeboontje @waiting247 @laurcad123 @toodaloo-kangaroo @ritacrow-blog @deathssilentapproach-blog @kittenmywaythrulife @nerd-nowandforever @tazanna-blythe @jaybird-and-co @jumpingjoy82 

[lokigodofaces]

list of variants/timelines i want to believe exist (and probably canonically do now)

this got long so i'm putting in a cut

a world where all of the events that happened in the Framework are real

bonus if the Framework world has their own version of the Framework that is like the real world in aos

Steve fell off the train, not Bucky. bc of the crap Zola did to Bucky, he survives in ice and well, and everything happens the same but Steve and Bucky's roles are reversed

Coulson doesn't bother to keep it a secret that he's alive, and the mcu is mainly just aos but with all the main characters as well (in other words, there's mainly good writing)

also in that world Steve and Bucky love Lola

Steve doesn't go back in time to live with Peggy

to all the people claiming aos isn't canon: Sylvie just made everything canon y'all. aos absolutely happened, and while i will argue that it happened in the main timeline, if you don't want to believe that it still happened in a timeline

Bucky didn't remember Steve soon enough, not until he killed Steve

Steve killed the Winter Soldier and didn't know who it was until he removed the mask

Hydra didn't hunt down Jiaying and by extent Daisy, so Daisy was raised by Jiaying and Cal who are not crazy bc they didn't have the same experiences they did in the main timeline

Thor never takes the others to Jotunheim, so Loki never learns he is Jotun

Fitz didn't survive almost drowning

Ward wasn't recruited by Garrett, but by literally any non-Hydra agent so he is a good guy

Coulson and May listened to the agent telling them to not send May in at Bahrain, heaven knows what happens there

the government gives the Avengers more than a week to go through the Accords, so they all get to the enhanced-people-have-to-wear-trackers, giant-underwater-prison, enhanced-operatives-can't-investigate-politicians, no-trial-for-enhanced, no-investigation-for-enhanced, etc sections so they all decide to not sign and just don't care what the government says

this is random, but i feel like Bucky as Ghost Rider would be a cool aesthetic.

the Avengers meet Robbie bc he keeps assassinating their targets bc they're targets of Ghost Rider's

Daisy dies instead of Lincoln

Daisy kills Lash before he can save her

Loki never "dies," so he is sent back to Asgardian prison after tdw

Radcliffe never reads the Darkhold, he just gave it to AIDA, so most of s4 doesn't happen

Dreykov comes after Natasha between Avengers and CACW, leading to the Avengers beating his *ss (like Yelena said, the god from space doesn't need an ibuprofen after a fight)

everything's the same but no Joss Whedon going on and on about Natasha not being able to have kids

whatever ship scenario you have is canon now

Loki gets all panicky after the Hulk beats him to a pulp, having now realized what he's done. Thor believes him, and this leads to Thanos being killed in 2012-13

Deadpool sits in the back of everything, shouting comments like "Yay! Superhero landing! But don't do that, it's bad for your knees!"

Peter Parker's parents never die

the Cavalry is an Avenger

Yondu brings Peter Quill to Ego, causing the universe's destruction

Gamora and Nebula get along their entire lives

Gamora and Nebula switch roles (Gamora becomes the cyborg, Nebula the guardian and Thanos's favorite daughter)

Heimdall actually bothers to look for Loki, seeing if they can find his body for a funeral, to find that he is being tortured by Thanos. Odin refuses to send anyone to save him, making Thor realize just how awful he is. Thor, Sif, and Warriors 3 go with the help of Heimdall to save Loki

Odin and Frigga are actually good parents, creating the most iconic trio ever

tw suicide for the next bullet point

Bucky commits suicide between TWS and CACW (Sebastian said in an interview once that Bucky was suicidal)

Loki keeps coming back as DB Cooper for fun or bc he keeps losing bets

the Eternals did interfere

the shrapnel kills Tony

this one thing i made about Mr Rogers adopting Loki

Robbie is part of the Avengers in 2012, but when he sees Loki he immediately says that Loki isn't the issue and goes off to fight Thanos single handedly (and wins)

for whatever reason Coulson and May do legally adopt all the Bus Kids

Hunter and Bobbi both go to break Fitz out of prison, and they stick around for the rest of the season

Fitz and Jemma never meet (saddest of sad days)

Loki for some reason is in FFH and he sees Mysterio's illusions and just laughs bc he's such an amateur

everything's the same, everyone's just obsessed with classical music and it's constantly playing so i get happy watching it

Asgardians are like the elves in LOTR (books, not the movies), so they're constantly singing and dancing and all

Loki is shown playing a Norse flute-like instrument (we know they exist, we've found them, they're different than your typical flute and we don't really know how they sound but i want Loki to be a flautist and no i'm not not projecting (note the double negative) and yes i headcanon Loki to be a flautist i don't care what anyone says)

everyone gets therapy

someone (Monica or Jimmy) hits Hayward on the head, knocking him out (the same way Gandalf knocked out Denethor in ROTK when Denethor told everyone to flee) and the rest of SWORD works with them because clearly Hayward has issues

Stephen commits to not texting and driving

somehow Luis becomes He Who Remains just for one timeline so the entire story is told like how he tells his flashbacks

Coulson doesn't help Fury and Carol escape

T'Challa does not survive and M'Baku becomes Black Panther

the suit in Iron Man 3 is not garbage the entire movie

Tony doesn't find a way to save himself in time

Ross dies in Incredible Hulk

Loki has a pet flerken he just always carries around

by the same logic, Bucky has a kitten he meets between TWS and CACW that he always carries around. said kitten attacks people when they attack Bucky

Bucky becomes Captain America instead of Sam

when Thor goes back to 2013 Asgard, he drags Loki with him back to 2023

Clint tests the time travel by going to Sokovia and drags Pietro back with him

Steve comes back an old man, but they use Bruce's attempt at time travel to turn him back into the 30 something Steve he was

literally anything happens other than Thanos killing Loki bc Loki only used knives when he isn't even tall enough to reach Thanos's neck

Sam and Bucky straight up kill Walker

Daisy never goes through terrigenesis

Loki somehow ends up a tutor for Daisy

Bucky joins the aos team after they find him on the run from Hydra

Bucky plays baritone saxophone bc bari saxes are awesome and it adds nothing to the plot but he spends at least half an hour in each movie playing bari sax

everything's the same but John Williams is the composer

S.H.I.E.L.D. uses GH-325 to revive a bunch of composers (Mozart, Dvorak, Beethoven, Bach, Bizet, Holst, y'know, all my guys) because they for whatever reason have their bodies because of some wack mission. and now they have a bunch of classical composers alive who insist on writing more music. and what are you going to do, tell Bach to stop composing?

by that same logic, someone working at the Guest House decides to steal Freddie Mercury's body so that they can revive him bc he just loves Queen that much

Thor realizes how awful Odin is and makes it his goal to get revenge for what Odin did to his little brother

Thor meets a bunch of Loki variants (most notably gator Loki) and just decides to stop questioning anything ever

Mobius teaches Loki how to ride a jet ski

Loki arrives at S.H.I.E.L.D. and informs everyone he wants to go to school and learn about politics and run for president and S.H.I.E.L.D. is like "okay whatever just don't tell anyone you're a literal god" but have no way to stop Loki from telling anyone

y'know the "shot heard 'round the world" thing from the Battle of Lexington (first battle in American revolution, if you don't know what it is, we have no clue who made the first shot & both sides were telling their troops to not fire. once that shot was fired the battle broke out)? yeah well that was Loki i'm pretty sure

Loki comes to Earth and becomes an Avenger and all but only ever introduces himself as DB Cooper. Thor doesn't ever come to Earth, so everyone just thinks DB Cooper found the secret to not age and just showed up to save people. he disappears for stretches of time & everyone stops being confused bc he was in hiding for decades of course no one's gonna find him (he is actually on Asgard)

[soysaucednd]

So, you want to start a D&D Podcast

Awesome! Share your art! This is going to be my little guide of recommendations as someone who used to work in radio and has been involved with a couple of radio plays and online play readings.

Step one: You are good enough.

The first step is to not get discouraged. You may not be the next Critical Role or The Adventure Zone, but you will have a podcast project. The first priority should be a philosophy of sharing rather than ambition of success. Even if you don’t amass a following, you will be sharing a piece of yourself, and that is always something to be admired.

Step two: Set clear expectations with your players.

Making a podcast of a d&d campaign is harder than running a home game. There are a lot of things that you have to take into account during a recording session that aren’t that important in your everyday game.

This is a performance. Players need to be focused on you and the game.

Eating makes sounds that can be picked up by the microphones.

Your levels may be overwhelmed by the dice, consider using dice pads.

You and your players have to be understood, and it has to be clear when they are in character and out of character.

No matter how much you think you won’t, you will have to edit some sections.

If players are talking over each other or having outside of game conversations, it will be picked up by the microphone and it will disturb the flow of the game.

Step three: The equipment and software.

As I said in the previous section, you and your players have to be heard and understood. To that end, you will need to have the right equipment to make that happen. Here is what you will need:

A microphone. Do some research on what microphone to get. It will have to be better than one that is connected on a set of headphones, but you don’t necessarily have to break the bank for a good one.

Audacity open source audio editing software.

This is the program I used to edit all of my pre-recorded radio segments and I still use it when I have to edit any kind of audio. It has a bit of a learning curve, but once you get used to it it has almost unlimited potential.

(it is also super useful for untraceably pirating music)

A room with minimal background noise.

Ideally, you will want a soundproofed room with no windows, but that is not possible for most people. Record some sample audio in different rooms in your house and see what works best. You’ll be able to tell the difference.

A padded dice box or a dice mat.

You do not want to be rolling your dice straight on a table next to a microphone, it will be loud and will be jarring to people listening to the recording.

Step four: Get used to your voice on recording.

We all hate our voices on recording. I had a recurring segment on a local radio station for four years and I deeply hated the way I sounded. It is just something you need to get used to. If you are going to use a character voice, rehearse it. Troubleshoot it in the recording software. See if you can get it to sound the way you want it to. If you are dming, you have your work cut out for you. I would recommend pre-writing introductions and very important pieces of description because once you are on recording, you will forget everything you wanted to say WAY more often.

Step five: Editing

You’ve gotten your first session out of the way! Yay! You might be tempted to just upload it and be done, but that is not going to be the best decision. Here are a few things to do to make the quality just a little bit better.

Get a background noise profile.

Open the audio file in audacity and open the effects tab.

It will ask you to get a noise profile, select a section of the audio where no one is speaking. (Ideally a period of around 10 seconds where everyone is quiet.)

The program will isolate the sounds present in that 10 seconds and do its best to remove those sounds from the whole sound profile.

Normalize.

If a few of your players are slightly quieter than your louder players, there is a tool in the effects window called “Normalize.”

This will take all of the audio in the file and standardize it at a volume you choose (measured in decibels). It will boost quieter voices and bring down the volume of louder voices while keeping things like shouting distinct. Be careful, but it is fairly easy to understand.

Compress.

This effect will reduce clipping (I will explain later). It brings any very loud sounds into a safer range for the ear and brings very quiet sounds up to be audible.

Beware of clipping.

If the spikes on the audio file’s waveform go above a certain point, we call this clipping. It will distort the audio in the final product and be uncomfortable to listen to. You can sometimes fix it by using the amplify tool or the normalization and compression tools, but it is better to set a lower input level on your microphone to avoid it and amplify your volume in the editing process. It is easier to add more volume than to take away too much.

Background music.

If you are using background music, make sure it is licensed for you to use. Royalty free or self-produced music is usually best. If you drag new audio files into audacity, you can create new layers and adjust positioning by adding in silence or by manipulating the start time and end time of your background music. There is also a fade in/fade out function that you can access by selecting a piece of audio in one layer and then going into the effects tab.

Step six: Recaps and Rules

For a produced show, you should start every session with a recap both for anyone tuning in to your podcast and to remind the players of their given circumstances. Take notes during the session if you can, or listen back to the previous episode to study before your next one. This is a good way to get used to your voice, remind yourself of the voices you have given NPCs, and remember where in your story you are.

When you are running a game on stream, you will not have time to stop the game and look up a rule, so get used to problem solving as a dm. Make reminder cards, spell cards, have statblocks ready, and if you do not have a rule in front of you, make a ruling. If you are uploading a prerecorded game, you have a bit more leeway, but it depends on how much time you want to spend editing. My advice would be to get used to making rulings on the fly and confirming them later.

Step seven: General Performance tips

Players:

Stay engaged.

Not paying attention and missing the fact that it is your turn, or not understanding how your sheet works is similar to an actor forgetting their lines and stopping on stage.

Don’t fudge your dice rolls.

I know. It is tempting. No one can see them and if you got a nat 20 here it would be SO POETIC. But seriously, don’t.

Listen to your DM and try to limit off topic conversations.

Make your voice for your character distinct from your own.

DMs:

Be prepared.

Have your statblocks ready, bring any visual aids you need, have your notes opened, have a compendium of spells available, have an initiative tracker, have enough dice, know what the shape of the session will be.

Don’t bring your sourcebooks.

This seems weird, but it is a recommendation I can’t stress enough. If you have it with you, I guarantee you will flip through it to check rules and such. Don’t.

Practice your timing on certain levels of narration.

Try to figure out some fun ways to add tension through how you narrate.

Watch a LOT of liveplay d&d and study what you like about the dms.

I would recommend Dimension 20, Naddpod, Critical Role, The Adventure Zone, or any other piece of media you can find.

Now go out there and get started! Message me and I will try to tune in to whatever you produce!

[fandom-necromancer]

1033. I don’t like the way they look at you.

This was prompted by the awesome @aurea-b and I... had fun XD Enjoy!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900

‘Is there anything else I can bring you, Sirs?’, Gavin politely asked, while he disguised his search of any hint or piece of evidence as gathering empty glasses. ‘Hmm, that fancy android over there, if you don’t mind.’ Gavin hadn’t expected  that answer and followed the finger of the man before him over to the central pole of the club. Of course… ‘I’m afraid we are not that kind of club, Sir.’ ‘How about a private dance then, beautiful?’ He had grabbed Gavin by the hand he was reaching for a glass with. ‘Sir, touching is prohibited in this club’, Gavin pressed through his teeth, trying his hardest not to snap and let his fist find its way right into his face. Although he had to play the clueless waiter, he knew exactly who was sitting there right in front of him: One of Detroit’s worst human traffickers. Until now they had only gotten a name, Andrew Jones, and the last sign of life of an android dancer. A message left behind before he had been abducted, just like countless others in his line of work. All androids. Most of them from this club.

The club Nines and Gavin were currently working at as undercover agents. Being the only other android-human partners of the precinct when Anderson couldn’t have played the “sexy waiter” even if he had been ten years younger, really was unfortunate. Gavin wouldn’t have described himself as that either, but apparently the manager of the club had decided otherwise. Nines on the other hand had simply downloaded some Tracy-programs and used his own to hack the application process.

Thankfully Jones let him go, although it had only been after a few beats of prolonged contact, just to show that he could. Oh, how Gavin longed for a fight with this stick of a man, mission be damned. ‘I’ll see what I can do, Sir.’ ‘Yeah, go see.’ Gavin turned around and tried to remember who else had sat in that booth with the criminal. Who were they? Costumers? Partners? Just friends? Whoever they were they requested a private dance from Nines, who was just stepping down from the pole to retreat backstage. They had their eyes on him and although that was generally a good thing because the android could figure out a lot more things if he was that near to them, it also was the first step to being kidnapped. The android they had gotten the message from had been selected for a private dance with this man and was never found again.

His worry seemed to show as he ducked behind the counter to unload the empty glasses, because Julia, the bartender looked him up and down. ‘Something happened?’ Gavin couldn’t let Nines’ cover be blown, even if the woman was trustworthy. So he simply said: ‘Over at table twelve, the guy touched me. Just the wrist, no big deal, but…’ ‘But it’s disgusting. Yeah, I understand. Should I get someone else to fetch their drinks?’ ‘Nah, no need. He wants a private dance with one of the dancers though. The rooms free at the moment?’ ‘They should be. Do you know who he wants?’ ‘The new one. Android, tall, -‘ ‘Exactly your type?’ Gavin looked at the woman shocked, but she just laughed. ‘Hey, I have eyes and I see how you look at him when you walk past. Don’t worry about me, I have no problems with relationships between co-workers. Just keep it private.’ Gavin swallowed. ‘Err… yeah…’ ‘Here!’ She pulled a few bottles of water from under the counter. ‘Bring that backstage and tell him. Tell him to be careful, too. I know people are disappearing and the police, as always, does jack shit about it.’ Gavin grinded his teeth at that, but nodded and took the package. ‘Oh and Gavin? I noticed he looked at you too, so good luck!’

He slipped past the curtain into the relative privacy of the changing compartments. Not that there were a lot of clothes to wear, just a lot of different outfits for different shows. He was on the lookout for Nines, what wasn’t too difficult as he spotted the tall android right from the door. Gavin sat the water bottles down at the entrance and hurried over. ‘Hey, Nines, you are- Ugh, Goddamn, put some clothes on, will ya?’ ‘Gavin, you saw me naked enough times, this is childish.’ ‘Yeah, well, they haven’t!’ He gestured to the rest of the room that was still very open. ‘Actually…’ ‘Okay, stop, they want you for a private dance.’ ‘Who?’, the android asked as he pulled some pants on – not really covering more than underwear would have. ‘Idiot. Our suspects of course.’ Gavin watched as Nines put on several glowing rings around his wrists and slowly adding more and more jewellery until he nearly wore more than clothes. ‘Oh! Perfect. Then this case is finally going somewhere.’ ‘I don’t like the way they look at you’, Gavin grumbled, leaning against the dressing table while Nines applied make-up and tested out new patterns with his artificial skin. His performance always consisted of some kind of display how synthetic he was. Retracting his skin and letting it reappear to the music, playing with how much he let the costumers see. With that he had made it one of the top attractions in record time and Gavin had to admit it was quite entrancing.

‘Oh, Gav, darling. It could have been the light, but I sensed you looked at me the same way.’ Nines looked up to him and smiled and though it was still alien to see him with make-up, he had to admit the android was absolutely beautiful. ‘Yeah, well, I don’t plan to abduct you and sell you to the highest bidder!’ ‘Really? And here I thought romance was dead.’ Gavin threw him a warning look. ‘Oh, come on, Gavin. I’m the most advanced model there is. Fowler installed more trackers inside me than Cyberlife did. If I get abducted this will finally put an end to innocent people getting sold off. Really, in this example the worst case is the best-case scenario.’ ‘For the mission maybe. But for you? What if they find out we’re cops and decide to kill you?’ ‘Gav, you worry too much. If anything goes wrong, then I still have you looking out for me, haven’t I, love?’ He reached up to Gavin’s shoulders to pull him into a kiss, before standing up. ‘I’ll get ready for it; you can show them to room four. I’ll reset the bugs there.’ ‘Okay. Stay safe.’ ‘Will do.’

Gavin went back behind the bar to get the keys for the room, before stopping in front of Julia’s grinning face. ‘What is it?’ ‘Oh, nothing… Just that I was right, wasn’t it? Ah, you two go so well together! You definitely have to tell me more when your shift’s over! Now hurry! Back to work!’ On the way back to the booth, Gavin rubbed his mouth with his sleeve. Damn black lipstick…

‘Ah, our beautiful waiter is back! And, what about that private dance?’ Gavin couldn’t look the man in the eyes, as he jingled with the keys. ‘If the sirs would follow me to room four? Your dancer is waiting.’ Jones hurried to come to his feet, urging his partners to stand up too. Gavin waited until they were up to lead the way. He entered the room and as everyone was in, Nines appeared, walking overly seductively towards them. Gavin felt bile rising up seeing him cupping Jones’ cheek in fake affection. ‘Now, gentlemen, what can I do for you today?’, he cooed, and Gavin pulled the door closed.

He carried drinks and empty glasses back and forth and looked on his watch every few minutes. They had booked an hour, had paid wirelessly over Nines hooked up to the club’s systems. It was the longest hour in Gavin’s life and no matter how that would set back the mission, he hoped for Nines to just get out of there and their suspect leaving. The worst was not knowing. The bugs they had installed were record only. Transmissions to an outside source could have been detected. So, it was only ten minutes after their time had ended and no one had exited, that Gavin knew something was wrong. The thought appeared the same time Nines message came in. Gavin. Get a car. Something went wrong. Your phone is set to navigate you to me. We are driving.

Immediately, Gavin reacted. He let the empty glasses fall back onto the table and sprinted to the bar. ‘Julia, I need your car.’ ‘You what?’ Gavin ripped his badge from his pocket and shoved it in her face. ‘I. Need. Your. Car.’ ‘Holy shit you are from the police. Oh damn and I said-‘ ‘Forget what you said, there is an android getting abducted from your club right now. I need your phcking car. Right now!’ ‘Of course, but you should rather-‘ ‘No buts! Car! NOW!’

Julia nodded, fetched her jacket and ran to the parking lot after Gavin. He looked around for her car and froze, as she unlocked a 1975 vintage Fiat 500. ‘Ex-phcking-cuse me?’ ‘I told you you should have rather taken John’s car, he drives a-‘ ‘Doesn’t matter now. There’s no time. Go.’

‘Doesn’t this thing have a gas pedal of some sorts?’, Gavin shouted at her from the passenger seat. The damn car was tiny as phck and for once he was glad to be too tiny as phck. But right now, every emotion he felt was anger. Anger about how they crawled through Detroit’s streets tailing a black dodge challenger. Their only hope was the cities well known and well hated rush hour that they were stuck in just as bad as their target. ‘Hey, you are a cop!’ ‘Yeah, and that means my word is law! Now go over the damn speed limit!’ ‘Alright, pretty sure that doesn’t mean that, but as long as you pay my speeding tickets-‘ ‘I’ll phcking pay you anything as long as you find that gas pedal and press it through the damn floor!’ ‘Alright, alright!’ Gavin was pressed into the seat as Julia seemed to take his advice literally. And once they got speed she was willing to break every traffic rule there was: She changed into the oncoming traffic and slalomed her way through every traffic jam. ‘Don’t tell me this is top speed?’ ‘What do you think this is? I loved that car ever since I saw it and it is amazing if you want to find a spot to park! Now, will you stop complaining? What do you plan to do once we reach them?’ ‘If we reach them, that is! This damn toy can’t compete!’ ‘Okay. You insult my car? Now I prove to you speed isn’t everything!’

Gavin regretted his decision dearly. Because whatever the tiny car told about its owner… Julia seemed to be a rally driver. Cutting every turn perfectly and finding small parallel streets or even a park to race through, they managed to catch up.

Gavin. Are you… driving in a Fiat? ‘Are you wearing make-up?’, Gavin spat back although the android couldn’t hear him. Make room in the passenger side, I’m coming. Drive to the left… now! Gavin pushed Julia’s steering wheel to the side without a warning, trusting her to manage getting them back on track as the trunk of the car in front of them was ripped open and the hood clattering to the street before quickly disappearing. Gavin climbed into the back of the already crowded car, as Julia steered it expertly next to the trunk and pushed the door open. Nines managed to jump over and land more or less gracefully inside but had to huddle over his knees to fit. Gavin reached forwards handing Nines his gun that the android took with a surprisingly unphased: ‘Thanks, babe.’ As if getting abducted was fun. ‘Wait, you two are really…?’ Nines nodded, picking at his too tight, uncomfortable and sole piece of clothing. ‘We are. Now keep the car straight, please.’ He opened the window and leaned half his upper body outside, taking aim and shot. They watched, as his bullet hit the other car, piercing the tire and it spiralled out of control. ‘Hank and Connor are informed; backup is on the way. But we have to keep them here. Julia, if you would be so kind to park the car? Gav and I have some traffickers to arrest.’ The woman nodded and Nines was half out of the door, before he asked: ‘You wouldn’t have some additional clothes somewhere, would you?’ ‘Unfortunately not. But it suits you.’ ‘Hmm. That’s not really the point…’ Gavin groaned from the backseat as he himself wasn’t exactly presentable with his tight leather pants and deep V-necked shirt. ‘That will be enough joke-material for years to come…’

‘I would say, you look rather handsome’, Nines commented, now that they were outside walking side by side towards the other car. ‘Oh, phck off!’ ‘Come on, it was fun!’ ‘It was not!’ ‘Why? Are you jealous you didn’t get to have a “private dance” with me?’ Gavin was about to shout expletives at the android, before shaking his head. ‘You know what? Maybe I am!’ ‘Aw, Detective, no one said I would have to delete this programming after the mission is done.’ Well, that sounded… promising.

[baby-pigtails]

Kiddo Sites/Apps!

Hi hi! I always see a lot of posts recommending sites and apps for age regressors but a lot of the time they’re the same things, so I thought I’d make my own! All the sites and apps on here are free, don’t worry! (Some may have ads or in-app purchase, though!) It’s under the cut cause I tried to include some preview pictures which made it kinda long! If anyone would like to add more or have me add more, just let me know! Have fun and stay safe during this time of quarantine and social distancing!

WEBSITES

- DisneyClips

     This is probably my FAVOURITE site for when I’m regressed! It’s made by Disney fans for Disney fans, and is updated with new activites pretty often! It has a bunch of safe and fun games, quizzes, coloring pages, and even things like analysis charts for kiddos whose special interest or hyperfixation is Disney! It has dress up games that are super-duper easy and cute, and I love them because their style looks like it could come right out of the film it’s from! Like the dresses and everything, and they stick to each princess’s style while making different dresses from the original ones! It’s crazy!!

-PBS Kids

     A classic but awesome site!! You can watch all sorts of episodes for free, you don’t have to put in an email or anything! There are even games and episodes from shows that have long since gone off the air!

-American Girl

     Don’t be fooled by the site’s title, this site is for everyone! If you’re familiar with the American Girl characters, there’s lots of dress up and themed games, and if you’re not familiar with the characters, don’t worry cause there’s still super cute games like pet grooming and, my favourite, Coconut’s Safari! I linked to the games page, but there’s quizzes and polls, too!

-Webkinz

     I’m sure a lot of you know about Webkinz already, but it hasn’t gone anywhere even after all these years! It’s one of my favourite sites, and it’s free to play now! For people unfamiliar with Webkinz, it’s a virtual world where you can raise a pet, decorate rooms, and collect all sorts of objects, food, and clothing! You can play this one online, with their new desktop app, or with their mobile app! (I will warn you, though, the mobile app does not have that much stuff on it)

-Poptropica

     Poptropica has been around for a while too, but it’s changed a lot in recent years! You can play it online and there’s also an app. This one is probably for older kiddos, though - it has a lot of puzzles and requires a lot of thinking at times, so if you’re looking for a relaxing game this probably isn’t it. 

-Poptropica

    Poptropica has been around for a while too, but it’s changed a lot in recent years! You can play it online and there’s also an app. This one is probably for older kiddos, though - it has a lot of puzzles and requires a lot of thinking at times, so if you’re looking for a relaxing game this probably isn’t it.

APPS

- Habitica

     Habitica is a super-duper easy habit tracker/reminder app! I use it to remind me to take my meds, shower, brush my teeth, things like that! But you put in your habits and to-do list so you can personalize it! Usually I don’t like apps like this because they offer no incentive but Habitica turns it into an RPG like Dungeons and Dragons!! So you can level up and get equipment and even pets! What I love about it, too, is that if you ever have any question, their FAQ is super clear and easy to understand, which makes it ideal for autistic kids like me!

- Cookie Run

     Cookie Run is an oldie but a goldie! It’s a running platformer game where you can collect lots of cute cookies and their pets and learn their stories! Plus there’s canon LGBTQ+ rep with some of the cookie heroes! Cookie Run has a lot of bright colours and fast movement though, so it might not be the best game for kiddos with seizures or sensory issues!

- My Tamagotchi Forever

     Super cute revamp of tamagotchi!! Your pets don’t run away or anything in this one, haha! You can decorate your town and your house with coins you earn from simple minigames, and you can dress up your tamagotchis in different outfits and fill out their scrapbooks and collect them all! I really liked this app, definitely one of my favorites :)

- Hello Kitty Lunchbox

     Super simple “cooking” game! Again, this is a super easy, no hassle game and is good for really young kiddos. You get to make a lunch for Hello Kitty and decorate it, along with her lunchbox before “eating” your meal. But again, I wanna stress this one is super simple and some kids may get bored of it.

-Pocket Ponies

     A My Little Pony version of the classic ball shooter game. You aim to hit enemies with your balls, and eventually charge up your ponies so they can perform their special action. You get to collect My Little Pony characters and each one has a different ability.

-Hello Kitty Music Party

     This one’s more of an idle tapper game. It wants you to tap on your screen along with the beat of the music, but even if you don’t tap with the beat you can still get rewards! It has a couple cutesy pop songs in the app, but it can also access your music library on your device so you can tap with whatever you want! The app itself doesn’t offer much instruction but it’s fairly simple to figure out. But like the other Hello Kitty game, it can grow boring quickly for some kids, which is why it became an idle game for me. 

-Disney TsumTsum

     This one is kind of like Bejeweled or Candy Crush - you connect little Disney characters to make them “pop!” You get to collect a bunch of different characters and each character has a special ability.

YOUTUBE CHANNELS

-RescueHero’s Nostalgia Zone

     A lesser known channel but it’s one of my favorites! It’s a gameplay channel, but pretty much every video is old video games like TV plug and plays, leapster/leap frog games, or CD-ROM games from the 2000s. It’s an active channel, too, and tends to upload every week or so! From what I can tell, there’s no voiceover and their videos are just simple, nostalgic gameplay.

-Shirley Curry

     This one’s a little weird but it’s very wholesome - it’s a grandma in her 80′s(?) who loves to play video games! She mostly plays games for older kiddos like Skyrim, but her videos are very calming and she’s very cute in the way she comments on games. She’s super sweet to her viewers and calls them her grandkids, and usuaslly responds in comments. Her videos are also easy videos to listen to in the background, too.

-pstoyreviews

     I don’t watch a lot of toy channels because a lot of the time they’re over the top and super corny or just... really weird, but this channel is run by two people (I think they are a couple but I’m not sure) named Shannon and Paul, and they’re very casual about their videos (despite the corny thumbnails, lol). Anyway, they mostly do blind bag openings for trinkets and toys that are currently on the shelves - things like Tokidoki, LOL Dolls, Shopkins, minifigures, things like that. It’s a very good channel if you like those cutesy sorts of things but don’t have the money to get them yourself! To my knowledge they’re not really sponsored, so there’s no encouraging you to buy a product or anything like that. Like I said, they’re very casual and do talk during the videos but they talk a little slow and there’s no background music, so they are very easy to understand! I believe Shannon also has a doll-specific channel, too, if you’re into that.

-nana825763

     Better known as piropito, this channel is well known for its really cute and wholesome Minecraft gameplay that you can start watching here. This is a Japanese channel, but he captions his own videos, so don’t worry! Anyway, his goal was to figure out everything in Minecraft with absolutely no cheats or searching the web for information or anything like that. That’s really the only thing I’d recommend on this channel, however, and do be careful because they do have some horror game playthroughs on there so stay safe!

-Sesame Street

     Not much to explain here! It’s Sesame Street, and they post clips of the show, songs, and sometimes even full episodes.

[thatcresentmoon]

bullet journal spread masterpost

Over 250+ spread ideas!🎊

hoping your dreams are fulfilled, your grades are awesome and your skin is glowing in 2019! (and 2020)

my tips for bullet journalling

Year in Review

highlights / reflection

achievements this year

lessons learnt / growth as a person

things you want to improve on

advice you’ve received / given

best music/movies/tv shows/etc of the past year

friends made during this past year

commonplace journal pages

things you’ve discovered during the past year

useful tips during the past year

odd facts and trivia during the past year

topics to explore during the past year

questions to ask during the past year

New Year, New You

calendar / future log / yearly or monthly logs

things to look forward to this year

upcoming books/music/movies/tv shows being released this year

maslow’s hierarchy of needs self-reflection spread

goals / new year’s resolutions + steps to put it into action

skills you want to learn this year e.g. coding

habits you want to break / habits you want to pick up

diary: day-to-day happenings

budgets: monthly/yearly budgets

inspiration spread for new projects

level 10 life: rate areas (academic, personal, mental, physical, spiritual, social, financial) of your life out of 10, and write down goals to improve that rating!

monthly overviews (e.g. progress on goals)

assignment due dates calendar

18 things to do by the end of 2018

Special Pages for Special Friends

memories / moments they were there for you

how you met

moments you want to share in the future

their mbti/hogwarts house

their best qualities

Trackers/Logs/______ of the Day

gratitude journal - # things you’re grateful for every day

habit trackers

motivational quotes

news headlines / this day in history

daily affirmations

currently reading / watching / listening to / feeling / eating / wanting etc.

time usage (read: wastage) tracker

k-drama or tv show episode tracker (always forget what ep I’m up to :S)

expenses tracker / tax deductibles

dream diary (tracker, plot(?), lucid or not, dream meanings)

new album or song releases

photo diary / sketch diary

weather

follower milestones

social media post tracker

household duties/chores tracker

grades tracker

year in pixels

TIL (today I learned)

civics

appointments: dentist, optometrist, doctor, therapist, etc.

bills: car / internet / rent etc

tax: income statements and work expenses receipts

membership/licence renewals

health

weight tracker

resting heart rate tracker (gives general idea of cardio fitness)

water intake tracker sleep log / time to bed / time awake / total hours slept

exercise log: number of reps / steps / minutes

mood trackers

period tracker

Various Creative Spread Ideas

day-to-day / life planning spreads

skincare routines

perfect/ideal morning routine

self-care reminders

exercise routines

wishlist

bucket list

firsts: kiss, date, house, vacation, car, concert, etc.

DIYs to attempt

savings jar (doodle it!)

yearly / monthly recurring tasks

usernames/passwords (hints only for security!)

5 or 10 year plans

dream job

dream house

planning for moving houses

dream wedding / planning

date ideas

make a worse case scenarios primer

summary tutorials for your reference e.g. step-by-step tax returns

academic

studyblr ideas

topics I need to revise

finals study timetable/plan

aspirations: what you want to be and why / how to get there

class timetable

assignment ideas

project schedules / team meeting dates

professors’ emails/office hours

assessment results

anti-procrastination page

motivations to study

skills you want to learn or are useful e.g. coding

formulas page

courses you want to take and their pre-reqs

college comparisons

back to school shopping list

textbook list with prices

language learning

vocabulary lists

grammar structures

media (books/tv shows/movies) to consume in that language

self-reflection / personality traits

best and worst characteristics

what to be mindful of / what you need to work on

mbti types you’re most compatible with

fears and how you want to overcome them

letters to your future self (include hopes and dreams)

letters to your past self (include achievements and things to be proud of!)

inspirational people

stress management tips

charities to donate to and why you support them

volunteering activities

fun, cute, and aesthetic spread ideas

things worth staying alive for / getting out of bed for

a spread with all the things you were worried about which turned out fine

message page from your friends to you

“i can’t live without ______”

creative crafts spread: tips / equipment / tutorials

aesthetic colour moodboards

happy / comforting / relaxing / funny things spread

seasons (summer/autumn/winter/spring) spread

rainy day spread

holidays spreads: christmas / easter / halloween / thanksgiving

idioms and proverbs from all different cultures

flowers spread: fav flowers, meanings, bouquet/arrangements, press ‘em!

crystals spread: fav gemstones (doodle ‘em), meanings

succulents spread: fav succulents, terrarium layout ideas

coffee/tea spread: paint with coffee / fav blends / best cafes

what’s in my bag (doodle it!)

outfit ideas / polyvore style collections

magazine clippings

shower thoughts / hypothetical ideas spread

draw my life spread / personal timeline

favourite characters e.g. gudetama, kumamon, etc. (doodle ‘em!)

interesting words list (ephemeral, mellifluous, serendipity, scintillating etc)

ideal date ideas

wedding anniversary ideas (like 1st is paper, 25th silver, 30th pearl, 40th ruby, 50th gold, 60th diamond)

baby animals spread (duckies, puppies, bunnies!!)

#just bullet journal things

bujo spread layouts and devices to try out (e.g. chronodex, parallel time ladder)

key/legend (keep it simple!)

colour palettes/swatches

washi tape / pens / markers swatches

banners / fonts

doodles

ticket stubs / receipts

stickers / stamps

cutouts of info brochures

pressed flowers

calligraphy / brush lettering / handwriting practice

favourite stationery

activities

_______ that you want to do* / have done* (kind of bucket list) *watch, read, listen to, try, taste, cook, play etc.

books

movies

tv shows

music

hobbies

arts/crafts e.g. paper quilling

sports e.g. archery

how to play / equipment / etc.

video games

foods

activities

board games

books / movies / tv shows

best descriptive passages

best cinematography

best action scenes

best use of soundtracks

(basically moments that make it deserving of awards)

music

album reviews

favourite songs

playlists for every mood and all seasons

meaningful lyrics

songs you shazamed

favourite genres and exemplar songs

kpop

reasons why i love my bias / bias wrecker / group

letter to your bias

comeback concepts / favourite outfits

visual/picture tutorials for makeup styles

calendar of your favs’ schedules during comeback season

in-jokes/memes

awards / achievements / records broken / milestones

translated lyrics

kpop songs vocab lists

upcoming releases

on this day

art

pics of your favourite artworks/artists + write about it

art styles you want to emulate

explain techniques for different media e.g. watercolour wet-on-wet

doodle ideas

astrology

natal chart readings/aspects/placements

solar return reading for the incoming year / transits

synastry / compatibility chart readings

constellation/star charts

symbol reference page for planets, zodiac signs, aspects

food

recipes

meal plans

shopping lists

interesting foods: (doodle ‘em!) taste / texture / smell (e.g. truffles, caviar)

cafes/restaurants you want to go to + their specialty dish (photo)

cocktails you want to mix/taste (doodle ‘em!)

media

interesting articles + moral/ethical issues it prompted you to think about

controversial topics on the news and for/against arguments/your thoughts

on this day in history

fav websites / blogs

jokes / puns / pickup lines

favourite poems / quotes / short stories

kinaesthetic

burn book - write things that make you angry/sad and rip the page out

wreck it journal - e.g. colour, scribble, stickers all over this page

travel

places to visit

travel itinerary

cultural parables

useful phrases in the language and their meaning

travel memories spread: things you did / places you went / selfies

postcard collection

packing list

friendly and not-so-friendly people that you met in foreign lands

writing

short story ideas

plot brainstorming spreads

journal prompts

drabbles

character designs

foreign words which can’t be directly translated into english

[missmentelle]

This might sound very silly but I just don't know how to be more proactive. I've been very passive all this years until this point where I feel like I can't anymore. I wish I could be more hardworking for the things I want but I get all overwhelmed and don't even know how other people have the energy or the motivation. People think Im just lazy. I don't have almost any skills let alone any that I can monetize, I feel like Im going to be a looser forever.

I think this is a problem that a lot of people - especially younger people - are struggling with right now. We want to achieve great things, and we feel like we should be achieving great things, but many of us are so paralyzed by doubt/anxiety/apathy/uncertainty that we have a hard time mustering up the motivation to run basic errands, let alone chase our dreams. I’ve certainly spent more than my fair share of time beating myself up for the countless days that I’ve fucked around on Reddit all day instead of actually achieving anything, even when I was fully aware that I was sabotaging my own dreams and goals by doing so. I just couldn’t always muster up the ability to care about the things I needed to be doing, even if there were dire consequences for not doing them. The good news is, there are definitely ways to overcome this issue, and reach a point where you are happier with your progress and your life. To get started, I recommend:

Decide what it is you actually want. Telling yourself to “be more proactive”, “work harder” or “have a better life” is not helpful if you don’t actually have specific goals that you’re working towards. It is very, very easy to find ways to be “busy” for 8 hours per day - but being busy doesn’t necessarily mean progress. Take some time, and think about some rough goals that you’d like to actually work towards. Don’t worry about how much work or effort it would be to achieve those goals, just start thinking about what you want in life, and what’s the most important to you. Think about the kind of life that you would like to have someday, and start figuring out the steps you need to take in order to get yourself from your current life to the life that you envision. It’s okay if those things are very far apart - the point is not for you to get overwhelmed, but for you to have something to be proactive about. 

Start slowly. You cannot go from “spending 8 hours per day mindlessly browsing the internet amidst a pile of old take-out containers” to “running 5 miles every morning before making art for 8 hours in a spotless apartment with a fridge full of vegetables” overnight. Trying to change your routine too drastically and too quickly will lead to you burning out in a couple of days and going right back to your old ways, with an added dose of self-hatred because you tried and failed. Trying to be more productive and more functional is a process, and a long one at that. It’s not at all unusual or abnormal to take several years of work before you get your life to where you want it to be. Start slow. Start with incredibly tiny changes, and slowly build up those changes over time. If you currently live on a diet of fast food and candy, and you want to be a shredded, clean-eating fitness guru, you can’t rush into that all at once. Start by swapping out full-sugar pop for diet pop for the first month, and trying to drink more water. That’s it. Don’t make any other changes. Then the second month, switch out diet pop for flavored water. And so on. Change only sticks when it’s gradual. 

Focus on one thing at a time. Again, trying to do too much, too soon is a recipe for fast burnout and self-hatred. Start by trying to change one area of your life, and one area of your life alone. Once you feel like you have a pretty solid handle on that part of your life and you have established some new habits, then you can add on a second area of focus. Spend some time, and really think about which area of your life is the most important for you to change, and which area of focus will improve your life the most. If it helps, envision your problems as rocks that you are carrying around in a backpack with you at all times. What’s the heaviest rock in your backpack? If you are overweight, unhappily single, making no progress building your YouTube channel and failing out of college, then your college grades are probably the thing causing you the most stress in your life, and they’re your most urgent concern - focus on that, and give yourself permission to let the rest of it sit on the back burner until you have boosted your GPA. Only then will you be ready to start changing something else. 

Go easy on yourself. I think one of the pitfalls that many young people face these days is that they absolutely crush themselves with unrealistic expectations of what they “should” be doing with their lives; it’s hard to get up the motivation to do anything when you’ve convinced yourself that the bare minimum for success is an impossible ideal. I have friends with master’s degrees who still consider themselves failures that haven’t done anything in life. Remember that you are not a machine. Even at your most successful and high-functional, you will not be perfect and productive 100% of the time. You will still have lazy days where you don’t get much done. You will still occasionally order takeout instead of making a home-cooked meal. You will still occasionally procrastinate. Don’t set yourself up for failure by comparing yourself to an unattainable ideal - just aim to be a slightly better version of what you are right now. 

Get used to tracking, even without making changes. It’s hard to set goals for improvement if you don’t have a solid idea of what you’re actually doing right now. Telling yourself things like “stop being so lazy and do more things” is setting yourself up for a spiral of self-loathing if you don’t actually track what you’re doing, because you won’t be able to see the small, gradual progress that you’re making. Being able to actually see yourself taking baby steps toward your goal is important for keeping you motivated, and keeping you from beating yourself up. Don’t track absolutely everything in your life - that becomes obsessive after a while - but keep an eye on some of the major things that you might want to change in the future. Install apps on your phone and laptop that track how much time you spend doing what. Set up the step tracker on your phone. If you want to eat better in the future, start tracking roughly what you eat now. I’m a pretty avid bullet journaler, I track a lot of my daily habits. Keeping track of the things you do, even if you’re not proud of them, and even before you start to work on them, gives you a baseline to work with, so you can establish how bad the problem is and see when you’re heading in the right direction. 

Forget the obsession with monetizing. A lot of us have gotten this idea in our heads that we need to find ways to monetize everything that we’re even remotely good at, or doing that thing is somehow a waste of our time. I don’t want to generalize about millennials and gen z too much, but I do feel like our generation was raised on the belief that “doing what you love” is the most important thing in life; I personally have many friends that are obsessed with monetizing, to the point that they no longer do anything unless they can find some way to funnel it into advancing their blogger/influencer/creator career. I think this is a mistake. When you monetize something that you love doing, you turn it from a hobby into a job, with all the stress that comes with that, and I think it’s important for everyone to have at least one thing in their life that they do just for the joy of it. It’s okay to let work be work, and play just be play. And I say this as a person who has monetized one of my hobbies; I love true crime and forensic psychology, and I co-host a true crime podcast that has recently had a huge surge of popularity and is on the cusp of being monetized. I could write an entire post about the mental health side of being a creator with a public online presence, but in a nutshell, turning my podcast from a hobby into a business has required me to take it a lot more seriously, and it now falls more into the category of “work” than it does “fun”. My enjoyment of life requires that some of my other hobbies - like playing music - just stay un-monetized hobbies. Let yourself create and do things that don’t have economic value. 

Don’t compare yourself to what you see on social media. I have had both personal friends and followers on this blog tell me that they feel bad about themselves because their life doesn’t measure up to what they see on Instagram, or because they feel that their own lives would not be worthy of posting online. This is a toxic mindset to get into. The things you see on social media are not reality, no matter how much they appear to be - people put incredible amounts of effort into carefully cultivating an online persona that makes them look more productive and accomplished than they actually are. I have a brother who who is a somewhat successful Instagram “influencer”, alongside his more successful girlfriend, and I could write an entire post about the lengths they go to to fake having perfect lives on Instagram, and the toll that their Insta careers are having on their mental health. If you are looking to be a more productive version of yourself, it’s best to steer clear of “motivation” from people who are paid to pretend to be successful online. 

Set measurable, achievable goals. Goals like “be healthier” and “do more stuff” won’t get you anywhere - they are so vague that it’s not possible to tell when you’ve actually achieved them, or how much progress you’ve made. If you want to be more productive and feel like you’re getting more done, you need to set goals that can actually be worked towards and checked off when they are done. Instead of “go to the gym more”, aim for “go to the gym 5 days per week” as your end goal, and start with a solid couple of months with “go to the gym at least once per week”, and slowly increase from there. If you’re aiming for something big like “have an awesome job”, break that down into medium-sized goals like “finish an undergrad degree”, and then break that goal down even further into “hand in all my assignments on time this semester”, and break that down further into “write the first 10 pages of my paper by the end of the week”. Set tiny goals for yourself that you can easily achieve, and that will gradually accumulate into big accomplishments. 

Remember that slow progress is better than no progress. If you write one sentence per day, it is going to take you a really long time to write a novel. It will take you a whole lot less time, however, than if you get overwhelmed at the thought of writing a novel and never write at all. Sometimes you need to break goals down into steps so small that they also seem not worth doing. It can feel a little silly to congratulate yourself for things like “brushed my teeth today” and “texted someone back today”, but those are little habits that add up into bigger things, and giving yourself that positive reinforcement is important. “Greatness” and “success” are not things you achieve all at once, they are made up of tiny habits that you’ve been working on for months or years at a time. 

Take care of your mental health. Not feeling the motivation to do anything, even things that you enjoy, can be a symptom of depression. Everyone beats themselves up from time to time for not being more productive, but if your brain is constantly on a feedback loop of “I’m human garbage and I’m wasting my life”, that’s a pretty serious problem, and a solid sign that it’s time to seek out some professional help. Trying to make major life improvements without addressing underlying mental health concerns is kind of like trying to drive a car without wheels - you’re just not going to get anywhere until you’ve dealt with the obvious problem. 

Remember that setbacks are okay. Even the most highly proactive and high-functioning people have days where they say “fuck it” and order takeout to eat in front of the TV. Everyone occasionally misses deadlines or leaves things to the last minute when they shouldn’t. Everyone shows up late occasionally. These things happen - we are humans, and none of us are perfect. The key to long-term proactivity and productivity, though, is not to let those small setbacks define you, and not to throw away all the progress you’ve made over a bad day or a bad week. Eating healthy six days per week will put you in a much better position than deciding “fuck it, I blew it” after one bad meal and returning to eating unhealthy meals 7 days per week. As the saying goes, don’t let perfect be the enemy of good - in other words, perfection is not attainable, and getting hung up on being perfect will prevent you from achieving many things that are good. The idea is not to be perfect; it’s just to keep striving to be a slightly better version of yourself. 

Best of luck to you!

[thebibliomancer]

Dark Crystal Age of Resistance Tactics liveblog pt 15

As loath as I am to admit it, I probably need to do some encounter leveling. Looking ahead, the Stonewood unite the clan missions are for level 37. I don't even have anyone level 30 yet!

I'm slightly agitated because up until this point the game has been decent at keeping the level progression tied to the difficulty curve. I hadn't needed to grind a lot. But there's a sudden spike in difficulty at this part of the game. Which I suppose is fair in one sense since this is endgame but on the other hand, boo.

Gobbles: Hup and Boggi leveled. Kylan learned Blinding Light. Naia learned Cleave 2.

Swamp: Rian learned Aughra's Ire, Kylan UNLOCKED SONG TELLER! Gurjin and Boggi leveled. And Hup learned Bad Broth which lets you detonate a cauldron.

Back to the tavern, oh god: Actually I executed this one flawlessly and killed all the enemies before they ever had a chance to attack. I don't love having to grind but I do love feeling how far I've come.  Anyway, Naia, Rian, Brea, and Boggi all leveled but didn't learn anything. But I did find Shimmering Scale and a Sharpened Dirk.

Place where Chamberlain abandoned his car: Gurjin leveled, Deet leveled and learned Overthink 2, Rek'yr leveled and learned Opening Act, Hup leveled and unlocked Musician. TIME FOR A CAREER CHANGE.

I'm giving Hup a Custom Bass. He deserves it.

Place where Chamberlain abandoned his car, again: Rian leveled and learned Thorns. Naia leveled. Found a Heavy Cleaver, by the side of the road. Weird what people leave laying around.

Cave: I love when my entire party is beserked so I get to watch the game play itself. Its the best. But Wukki leveled. Rek'yr leveled and learned Spot Weakness. Brea leveled and learned Firemoss Bundle 2. And Kylan leveled and learned Scathe.

Swamp: Hup died. Boggi leveled. Naia leveled and learned Smite 2. Gurjin leveled and learned Tangle Up 2. And I found a spoon. Naia and Gurjin also hit max lvl in Paladin and Stone Warden respectively so I'm switching them to Soldier and Paladin respectively so they can learn more stuff.

Desert: Hup leveled and learned Perform, which I should hope so since he's a musician. But its a self cast ability that makes adjacent allies take their turns faster. Deet and Kylan leveled. Found a Student Thesis, just abandoned in the desert. Isn't it sad?

Bar again: Rian leveled and learned Cascade AND CAN BECOME A STRATEGIST NOW! Ivo leveled and learned Fleet Shot 2. Wukki leveled.

Bar again again: Rek'yr leveled and learned Poisoned Blades. And got Arathim Shell Plating! This is going right on Rian!

Swamp again: Geeze, I hate Threaders. Anyway. Boggi, Brea, and Hup leveled. Deet leveled and learned Earthen Roots 2.

Desert: Kylan leveled and learned Thrum of Power, which is an awesome name for a move. It heals and grants haste for one turn.

Road to Ha'rar area: Oh fun another encounter where my whole party gets beserked so I get to watch the game play itself. Why not, not being interactive sure saves me some time. Wow, look at it go. Hooray, I won. Naia, Gurjin, and Breg leveled. And I found a Warforged Battleaxe.

A different swamp: Alyadon leveled and learned Convalesce 2. Nobody else leveled. I think I'm getting to the point where this level of encounter is becoming less cost effective. This is leaving poor Rian the only member of the party who isn't level 30. Isn't it embarrassing, Rian? Also I found a Custom Bass just sunk into the swamp.

That road to Ha'rar place again: Ivo and Wukki leveled. Rian leveled and learned Flow of Battle. Also I found an Exquisite Poignard.

And that gets everyone at least level 30. Hopefully that'll do for now the next stretch of the game.

---

Mission: Podling Rush - Spriton Village

"A Spriton village is in trouble. Something has driven the neighboring Podlings mad! Help hold off their attacks."

Finally back to this! Where hopefully the podlings aren't revolting for their right to be dirty!

Oh, looks like I have some friendly Spriton villagers on this map.

... Oh. Oh, shit! Darkened Podlings! This possible global warming allegory has gotten serious!

Party: Hup because he is a Podling, Brea and Boggi because heals, Rek'yr because he was there, and Deet because this is her subplot. The Darkening, I mean.

Rek'yr: "This village is in terrible shape. What happened here?"

Spriton Villagers: "The Podlings are back! Run!"

... THE NPCS JUST RAN AWAY! Were they on the map just to ditch me? Rude!

Rek'yr: "Why are the villagers so afraid of a few Podlings?"

You've been in a party with Hup for so long and you can still ask that?

Rek'yr: "Wait... Somethign isn't right with them. We have to defend this village!"

Only three podlings on the map. I FEEL as if that will change.

Geez, these Podlings pack a wallop. One of them walloped half of Brea's health off with one wallop.

Deet has avenged her with a good book. That shoots death.

Rek'yr and Hup team up to knock down another one of the Darkened Podlings and whoops, that was the event trigger for more spawn-ins. And they brought darkened armaligs! Hate those guys! They're way too beefy!

Theres three new podlings and two armaligs. Grumble grumble.

-peer up at the top right- Why does that mission objective box say "Defeat the Podling Raids 1/3"? Are there going to be three waves of this?

Two of the podlings that spawned in for the second wave don't have ranged attacks so whenever they get close I just have Deet use Gust 2 to blow them further away. And Rek'yr is situated on a raised area potshotting them with bolas. I almost feel bad.

Hup lays out another podling with his instrument because that podling kept hitting Hup's good pal Brea.

ARMALIG ATTACKED MY DOGGO and the other armalig attacked my Brea. RUDE.

Brea avenges herself on the armalig with FIRE

Annnnd oops, triggered the third wave. Four more podlings, two more armaligs from the left and bottom of the map.

Note to podling potion master: Just because you silence Deet doesn't mean she can't use her rad spellbook to explode you. Sincerely, me.

Alas Hup. You were my first casualty. RIP you brave Podling.

The result of the three waves of enemies around about roughly my level is that I'm running out of MP on my peeps. But I did win with only poor, brave Hup falling (unconscious) for the cause.

Rian: "What would cause Podlings to go berserk like that?"

Brea: "We need to investigate the Podling village."

We'll probably find a lot of pissed off podlings. Although, hey, they made a bunch of podling assets for Hup so might as well find a way to use them, right? Good thinking, game!

So Boggi and Deet leveled. Brea leveled and learned Soothe 2. Rek'yr leveled and learned Death's Instinct, which is just an amazing name for an ability. And Hup learned Ad-Lib.

Also, I haven't talked about pearl rewards for a while but they have been increasing as the game went on. I got 4000 thousand some for this mission. Nice.

---

Mission: Interrupted Journey - The Long Road

"Your party journeys to the Podling village and meets an unexpected ally."

Ooo! Another new character for the game? I'm quite interested.

Iiiiiits.... POMBO! He's a Podling Musician. I'm filled with sudden dread that he's going to fill the last slot in my party instead of Tavra or Seladon. Which. I guess I'd be okay with. I don't know what I could do with Tavra or Seladon at this point. It'd be cool to have them but I've got a lot of Gelflings doing various things. Naia is a bombass paladin, Tavra would just have to play catch-up. And I got two fizzgigs so why not two Podlings?

Anyway, there's more Darkened Podlings to contend with.

Party: Gurjin, Naia, Breg, Kylan. Team Naia's Posse and Breg.

Pombo: "Gelflin tonpee apida. Bo nai! BAD WATER!"

Gurjin: "That Podling is asking for our help. What do you mean by, 'bad water?'"

Pombo: "Tonpo Gelfli-da, pyata Gelflin dzuchocho apyama-da!"

Gurjin: "Pombo says he will help us if we promise to save his village."

Don't have to ask me twice.

Rian: "Pombo is a Podling Musician. If we support him with Positive Status Effects, his music can change the tide of battle!"

I don't... remember if I have any positive status effect abilities equipped to my guys?

Oh cool, he's not controlled by me. He's just doing his thing. And he did

ULTIMATE SOLO! -thrashes on lute-

Which hurts every enemy and heals every ally. Nice.

Luckily, Kylan is a Song-Teller and is very motivating.

Having watched ULTIMATE SOLO a couple times. The animation for it is delightful.

Alas, Breg and Naia killed by Darkened Podlings.

I just noticed, right after a Podling hit him with an attack that took off half his health, that a win condition is that Pombo can't die. Whoops.

But good ol' Kylan Scathe'd the last Darkened Podling.

Rian: "Pombo, what is happening? Why are the Podlings attacking?"

Pombo: "Skeksisa lolemilod nai-da. Yotsa uchapapodche ada shopo-pida dze ulendzi Gelflin-da ya!"

Hmm, I'm not sure if Pombo is going to join the party if he doesn't speak... Gelflish? Its going to be hard for him to get random lines to remind us that he's still in the party.

Rian: "The Skeksis poisoned your water? This sounds like one of the Scientist's schemes!"

He rarely has schemes really. He mostly has other people yelling at him until he does stuff.

Don't know how I feel about the Scientist actively darkening podlings instead of the Skeksis just not giving a shit.

HOLY SHIT I DID JUST UNLOCK POMBO

MY LAST PARTY MEMBER IS POMBO I CANNOT BELIEVE

Anyway, everyone level up! Everyone learn a thing!

Kylan learned Enchanting Tune (stuns enemy at two paces)! Naia learned Sharpen Blade 2 (attack up and crit chance up), nice! Gurjin learned Edged Slice (high damage and recoil) and Vindicate (defense down on enemy on crit) because he leveled twice! So did Kylan, actually. Breg learned Daring Strike 2! Which I probably won't use! Its so much setup!

Oops Breg has hit the end of the thief tree. Guess I'm switching him over to Tracker!

Hm, now that I have Pombo who has just so many levels in Musician and Potion Master already, I think I'm going to switch Hup back away from Musician. Don't need two musicians but I am missing out on some high level abilities in other jobs.

WHY HECK HUP I GUESS YOU CAN BE A PALADIN AFTER ALL! Its a feel good character arc for him. He gets to live his dream after all.

AND I'M BUYING HIM A GRAND LADLE!

---

Mission: Dark Poison - Podling Hollow

"The heroes reach the Podling village. They must stop The Scientist's wicked experiment and save the Podlings."

Holy crap, do I get to beat up the Scientist? Heck ye!

... I don't see him on the map. Alas.

Party: Alyadon, Rian the smart hero guy, Ivo the guy, Brea, and Wukki!

Lets finish off the Spriton missions!

I'VE BEEN TRICKED! THE SCIENTIST SPAWNS IN AS SOON AS THE LEVEL STARTS! I GET TO BEAT UP THE SCIENTIST!

The Scientist: "Cursed Podlings! The latest formula increases aggression, but the effects are too temporary. I'll never create a new army at this rate!"

I can imagine the movie Scientist's voice saying this.

But ah ha! I understand how it fits in now! The spiders betrayed the Skeksis, probably, so this is Scientist's first attempt. An army of angry Podlings. Good try, SkekTek.

Ok so the Scientist is the weeniest of Skeksis according to letting the Ornamentalist fight in battle but not Scientist. So he only has 1500 HP compared to the General who had 2000.

He's also got a cool electricity glowy steampunk esque spear. Pretty neat.

He's got Scalpel Slice which is what his attack is called. He's got Explosive Cask, where he throws an explosive cask. He's got Salt the Earth where he poisons an area. WITH A RANGE OF 8?? GOD! And he's got Chain Lightning which chains lightning to two additional targets.

This is going to hurt.

All we have to do is defeat the Scientist. This is going to hurt.

This is hurting. I'm getting my asses kicked. But I hit Scientist twice and he ran off to the other side of the stage to unleash his latest invention.

Lightning Aura - increases his magic, magic defense and defense by 100%. Rude.

aww he shot lightning at the doggo...

Welp. Everyone dead except Brea and Alyadon...

On the plus side, I've almost killed all of the minions. On the negative side, everyone dead except Alyadon.

On the other negative side, Scientist just killed Alyadon.

On the other other negative side, Salt the Earth really does Salt the Earth. The poison lingers forever.

---

TIME FOR SOME LEVELING HA HA dangit.

That place with the car: Another one of those where everyone gets taunted so the game plays itself =\

Alyadon and Wukki didn't level because they died. Ivo leveled and learned nothing. Rian leveled and learned Unfailing Blow (100% hit chance attack, its going right on Rian).

The Gobbles: Brea, Boggi, Hup, Alyadon, and Wukki leveled and didn't learn a darn thing!

That tavern again!: Naia, Breg, and Deet leveled! Alyadon leveled and learned Thorns! I found some random Fang-Studded Armor!

That road to Ha'rar place: Rian, Brea, Wukki levelled and learned nothing! Found a random Sharpened Longsword!

Sinking Isle: It occurs to me that although the tides mechanic is interesting and anxiety inducing, it can also lead to a boring level if, for instance, the enemies are localized to one side of the map so most of the level is spent moving around the map not fighting anyone because the level has some chokepoints.

Boggi leveled. Hup leveled and learned Thwack! 2! Ivo leveled and learned Eye Shot 2!

Desert: Something else I've noticed is that encounter levels have the same level elements that they did in the story mode. Including the glowy exit square. They don't do anything. They just obviously didn't make a version of the level without it.

Deet leveled and learned Life Exchange 2 (can use Life Exchange on enemies)! And has learned all the things in Adept!  Rek'yr leveled and learned Finish the Job (100% crit chance against non-boss enemy with less than 30% health)!

Citadel balcony: another one where everyone was beserked so the level played itself. Ho hum.

Naia leveled. Breg leveled and learned Aimed Shot. Gurjin leveled and learned Flurry of Steel. Kylan leveled and learned Stick and Stones (deal damage and inflict wounded may break your bones).

Hidden Grotto: Only Ivo leveled. BUT I found a Master's Opus. Its a magic book.

Drifting Dunes: Rek'yr, Pombo and Wukki level! Rian levels and learns Inspiring Presence (adjacent allies get critical chance up)! Alyadon levels and learns Cascade!

Sinking Isle again: Deet drowned =(

Boggi leveled. Gurjin leveled and learned Retribution.

Swamp: Deet leveled and learned nothing. Brea leveled and learned Awaken 2. Naia leveled and learned Bash 2.

And now that I've got a few levels under my belt, back to the mission.

Mission: Dark Poison - Podling Hollow

"The heroes reach the Podling village. They must stop The Scientist's wicked experiment and save the Podlings."

Bought a bunch of Nebrie Milk to make me immune to poison. That's just strategery that is.

No but seriously. Most of what Scientist does is lob poison. All of my party is either equipped with Nebrie Milk or Drenchen. Hopefully, I've hit this challenge in the knee.

And dang with Smite 2, Naia did six hundred damage! That's a third of his hpees!

But blah blah blah lightning aura and chain lightning time. It hurts. A lot. BUT: he can't target you from a distance if you're in the tall grass, with the velociraptors.

And boom, Scientist ass kicked. Mostly by Rek'yr who goes so often.

The Scientist: "This experiment is a complete failure! I must return to the Castle."

Rian: "The Scientist is dealt with, but what about the poor Podlings?"

Pombo: "A hup milasazabo pyata uchaahipu apyama-da!"

Deet: "A song? To put them all to sleep?"

... So. Are we just going to put the problem to sleep and hope it sorts itself out?

Gurjin leveled and learned Smite. Naia, Brea, and Boggi leveled. Rek'yr leveled and learned Silent Lunge (jump to an empty tile, Get Attack Up, rooted, and silence to self, does not end turn. So I guess you can jump somewhere and then attack? Worth a look)!

I also pick up the Leaf-Bladed Chopper, the Spriton Clan Axe! And the Scientist's Manual!

Oh, there's a cutscene of the zombie/darkened podlings surrounding our party on a hill and then Pombo does his music and puts them all to sleep.

Deet: "Tomorrow this will all seem a distant dream"

BUT HOW

Wait wait wait, shit. Scientist as much as said it. The formula is temporary so if we put them all to sleep they’ll wake up restored. You win this round, game writing.

The Leaf-Bladed Chopper has a higher attack bonus than the General's Hand Axe but the General's Axe has more assorted stat gains to defense, magic defense, and HP. So I'm sticking with that.

Scientist's Manual is a spellbook. It does even more damage than the Master's Opus so this is going right on Deet.

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

what does this have to do with clownfish?

i know this was a mostly sad episode that ended on a rather disquieting note, but i was grinning from ear to ear by the end, you guys. I LOVE THIS SILLY SHOW SO MUCH, and i want to tell you why, so let’s talk about titans 2.04:

SPOILERS ahead

1. i get why we’re getting a flashback episode now--the titans’ ~sordid past~ with deathstroke has gotten a fair bit of build-up, and now that slade has jason, we need the history between him and the og team to contextualise the upcoming confrontation. still, i was really looking forward to having kory reunite with the team, goddamit! 

1.5. i like the convivial, almost collegiate vibe that the original titans have about them--the idea of them getting together both desperate to prove that they are more than what their origins and youth might suggest, and to dick around (pun not intended) and just... be, in a way that their individual circumstances wouldn’t allow them. costumes on, in mission-mode, they are trained and hyper-competent, but in their downtime they apparently like adorably warbling off-key at each other and re-enacting 90s/00s cheesy rom-coms. it’s great! i would’ve loved to see these kinds of flashbacks drip-fed to us right from the beginning of the season--putting it all in one episode, from aqualad’s introduction to demise all in forty minutes, not only screws up the pacing, but also robs us of more of garth’s genuinely warm chemistry with the rest of the team. 

1.67. besides, the immediate contrast between this and the way dick conducts the titans now would’ve been funny and quite impactful.

2. for all that dick seemed standoffish and genuinely frightened of himself in s1, the slightly less filtered look we get into his mind in this flashback--well before his existential crisis--is somehow even more disquieting?? the way he talks about batman and his relationship with dawn and even his friendship with donna smacks of an alarming emotional disconnect; a space where his sense of self has fallen and been replaced by a role that he has been trained to play. he smiles more in this episode than probably all eleven of s1 combined, but he’s far more reserved, afraid of vulnerability, and completely unwilling to express any emotion that would come in the way of him being who he Needs To Be.

2.45. this episode puts into sharp relief just how far dick has come to make peace with bruce in 2.01. here batman is a glowing symbol against the night sky; a shadowy figure promising justice is vengeance and not the other way around; a hulking figure that he can hate and love without reserve, that orders him to be better no matter how exhausted he is, even while standing between him and incomprehensible evil like a bulwark. at the heart of the titans tower--a skyscraper on the opposite side of the country from gotham--is another batcave, a sign that how no matter how far he goes, dick’s perception of himself and his relationships is still inextricably tied to batman and his ways. 

it’s the missing link between the angry, grieving boy we saw in flashbacks last season, and the man rapidly spiralling into crisis at the beginning of season 1. he’s internalised batman’s mission before he can decide for himself what he wants to be, and he’s been like this well into his adult years (unlike the comics). no wonder when the moment he goes Too Far finally comes, when he’s so burrowed into himself that vengeance becomes an end rather than a tool, it’s such a violent upheaval, and one that he hasn’t quite been able to put to rest in over a season.

2.65. honestly the matter of fact way he talks about being dawn’s rebound relationship after her breakup is haunting me?? dick grayson--robin, batman’s partner, the First Sidekick, leader of the titans, friend, brother, lover, a valuable asset with trackers in his arm and neck--is so utterly subsumed that his feelings, his self, automatically comes second to the role he’s playing. i wonder if he had found that he’d had a tracker installed in his body without his knowledge at this point, he’d have accepted the cold logic of it (of course batman needs to keep track of him), instead of the visceral reaction he has five years later, when he immediately picks up a knife and cuts it out of his skin.

2.95. (retrospectively it lends so much more meaning to the opening scene of 1.08??? where dick says he needs to go off on his own to get his bearings right instead of staying on to be the Leader after their traumatic time at the asylum and kory and the others are quietly accepting of it?? where’s that ‘that’s growth’ gif when you need it)

3. donna! it’s interesting that her role as a titan was always meant to be a pitstop before she moved on to Greater Things, and her struggle to reconcile that with her growing attachment to the team came across really well. jillian’s never really pressuring her to leave immediately--six months! two weeks! idk, forever! really, it’s your pick!--but donna tells dick she needs to leave that very night, either because she’s hoping that he’ll protest and ask her to stay, or that she’ll fall for garth and lose her wavering conviction to leave if she stayed any longer, or both. 

3.5. donna and garth’s relationship followed so many wonderfully cheesy conventions, with all of their attendant adorableness and Problems. the scions of two different royal families of two different races falling in Forbidden Love! garth clumsily flirting with donna even as she keeps turning him down! (not cool, garth!) bonding over reminiscing about quirky childhood memories! consulting a put-upon mutual best friend! the last minute reconciliation and confession of love at the airport! garth dying right after celebrating his birthday! (that cop was just a day away from retirement!) PERFECT

like. i have NO IDEA why people still insist on calling this show ‘dark’ and ‘edgy’. don’t let the weird lighting and occasional blood spatter distract you from the goofy, well-intentioned heart right at its centre, you guys!

(but man, dick and donna’s quiet heartbreak at the prospect of separation was harder to watch. for a moment, dick really let himself feel the burden, sinking onto his haunches, his head in his hand like he was about to cry. just a moment.)

4. the others’ reaction to garth’s death is very telling. donna is devastated; hank and dawn are upset, but in a distant way that suggests that they didn’t really know him very well or for very long; and dick... well dick is hard at work in his batcave, because that is how he knows to react to disaster. 

4.5. i know that i spend quite a bit of my reviews harping on and on about dick, but he is more than just the team leader, or the one with the most well-defined arc so far, or the connective tissue between the old and new teams: the titans is HIS, in ways both subtle and insubtle. batman is funding the whole thing; their resources, their tech? all wayne enterprises. by extension, this shindig is dick’s idea, dick’s operation, something he shaped after himself--serene, beautiful, somewhat impersonal on the surface and batman-the-symbol, batman-the-phantom, right at the centre. 

4.65. so when the burden of morality-bending vengeance falls squarely on dick’s shoulders, it seems natural. it also seems entirely natural that when dick does follow through on what the team wants from him, the fallout is also put square on him: he’s the one that’s gone completely off the rails, the one that would sacrifice anything for a mission (like hank implies in the previous episode), the one haunted by his own darkness. this, of course, is patently false, as trigon demonstrated earlier this season.

5. the opening scene of slade wilson doing the Thing He Does Best was so fun to watch. i love that this show is always trying to do interesting things with the camera. (tho i wonder, who hired him to take out donna troy in san fran? was that even his original objective? was it dr light? i am Confusion)

5.5. ... even tho the villain-confrontation scenes seemed hampered by low effects budgets and a lack of... kineticism. i can’t figure out how dr light works even after two episodes of seeing him do his thing. he can apparently implant light bombs in people but never seems to use this awesome ability again, when it can actually help him against the titans? 

6. the moment i saw joey wilson’s profile through the window of his home, i knew he was going to be my favourite character on this show. i love him and his enthusiasm and his cute shoes and his love for vintage records SO MUCH! i know it’s been hinted that he died, but i can’t bear the prospect for even a second. HE’S ALIVE AND WELL SOMEWHERE HAVING TEA AND LISTENING TO GREAT MUSIC WITH AMY ROHRBACH, I JUST KNOW IT

6.5. dick (and the others) wouldn’t be so horrified with themselves and think about shuttering the titans for good if they hadn’t felt some kind of attachment to jericho. dick especially i think is going to fall into an actual honest friendship with joey and is going to extremely disgusted with himself when it all ends in tragedy anyway. 

6.75. we’re probably not going to find out what actually happened to joey for a while, but here’s hoping the Unforgivable won’t happen.

7. on the brightside tho, KORY’S BACK NEXT EP! can’t wait. 

[pbandjesse]

Today was a prerty excellent day off. It started off fairly. Sad. I slept okay but getting up was really hard. James was half waking me up when he was getting ready and watering the plants. He didn't have to be at work until 10 though so when I got up at 830 I was. Very surprised that he wasnt here.

He had told me a few days ago that he had to go help his sister this morning and I had forgotten. So I was slightly unsettled. And I felt weird. It wasnt James's fault, it was just my insides were unsettled.

I had to get out of here.

So I headed out. I had to mail some stuff so at 10 I went to the post office. It's just down the street but its a bit of a tough area. I wouldn't want to be there at night, but it was fine during the day.

It was a quick drop off and I went home. I had used to much coconut oil in my hair last night so I took a bath to wash it out. It was a nice relaxing bath though and made me feel a little better.

I got dressed again and decided I was going out. I dried my hair and got my backpack and left.

A nice side effect of my little pikachu toy is that its a step tracker. And it makes me want to walk more. And for a silly make beleive thing, I feel like a real trainer with a pokeball on my waist band when i clip him on. I know its silly but it makes me happy.

I went to the subway and took it to a plaza, shopping area i have been to last year. And I had a lot of fun. Listening to my podcast. Going in stores. The Marshall's there is moving so they had great deals and I got a dress. I mostly just window shopped and enjoyed the weather.

I went to taco bell for lunch which made me very excited because theres no taco bell in the city. It was cheap as hell and really good.

Because I walked so much i got to give lots of gifts to Digital Charlie. I got to see him do new things which was awesome. He even wrote me a little letter.

As I was walking I found $15 on the ground. Thank you universe. I went up to the goodwill and enjoyed looking around but didn't buy anything. Did find some funny things and just had a good time.

I started the walk back towards the subway, which is a little less then 2 miles. But I made some more stops. Checked out some more stores on the way. Stopped at the Big lots to fill my water bottle. And eventually went to the inside part of the mall (which was mostly empty stores) and got Ritas. I haven't had that at all this year so that was nice. I chilled and had my ritas and people watched. It was nice.

I went back to the five below and got candy and socks and I found another small rug for the studio!! I'm very pleased.

I missed the subway so i had to wait but my headphones were charged and I didnt mind.

Once the subway finally came I got a seat by the window. After the next stop an older man sat down next to me and someone was selling candy on the train and he tried to give me some of this candy. I wasn't going to take it. It was a really nice then we ended up talking the entire ride. He is about my parents age and it was just really nice talkin to him. He was really really sweet. He was so nice we ended up walking back to my apartment. And it turned out we had met before. He had sat outside on the stoop once and I said good morning to him. He just lives in the neighborhood. He's a really nice guy.

And when I was getting back to the apartment mr. Will was coming out. So we went back inside together. And me and Mister will sat in the foyer for like 45 minutes talking. Just about everything. The city and people and being kind. The apartment itself. How he's doing. And it was just really nice. It was a really good way to end my adventure. I needed some of that human interaction that I haven't been getting being alone in the apartment.

I was very tired though. I got back up here and sat down for a while. Unpacked the stuff I had gotten. Put the new carpet out. And then I took a shower. Felt a lot better after that. I ate and fed sweepy. I ran the dishwasher.

I had ordered a glass straw in the mail the other day and it came. But I misread the listing that I had to email them the animal I want it. So they just chose Panda. And the panda broke off almost immediately. What I wanted was a frog. And in this house we make our own destiny and our own frogs! So I cleaned off the straw and where the Panda had had broken off I made a small clay frog out of Sculpey. And I was able to make that and I think it came out really great I'm very proud of it.

James is working at the theater till 10 so I am alone still. He had a very long very busy day and I didn't get to spend any time with him at all. But he'll be home in the next couple hours and he doesn't have work until 11 tomorrow so we at least get most of the morning. And I'm hoping I can just like you some art tomorrow. And then we're going to get Ramen for dinner have a nice day and then one of his friends is going to come over to play music. And then on Monday I finally go back to work. I'm so excited. I'm not excited about having to take the bus to access art because that's always annoying but I'm still really excited to get back to see everybody and it's going to be nice. I hope that they tell us who were teaching with. That's very frustrating not knowing. But I have a whole list of things I want to do this year and ideas for my classroom since we have to be an art card again and I'm just really looking forward to figuring all of it out.

I hope you guys all have a really nice night. I'm going to go drawing my studio for a while and watch videos on YouTube. Hope you all take care of each other out there. Be safe. Good night

[optomstudies]

bullet journal ideas masterpost

Over 250+ spread ideas!🎊

hoping your dreams are fulfilled, your grades are awesome and your skin is glowing in 2018!

my tips for bullet journalling

Year in Review

highlights / reflection

achievements this year

lessons learnt / growth as a person

things you want to improve on

advice you’ve received / given

best music/movies/tv shows/etc of the past year

friends made during this past year

commonplace journal pages

things you’ve discovered during the past year

useful tips during the past year

odd facts and trivia during the past year

topics to explore during the past year

questions to ask during the past year

New Year, New You

calendar / future log / yearly or monthly logs

things to look forward to this year

upcoming books/music/movies/tv shows being released this year

maslow’s hierarchy of needs self-reflection spread

goals / new year’s resolutions + steps to put it into action

skills you want to learn this year e.g. coding

habits you want to break / habits you want to pick up

diary: day-to-day happenings

budgets: monthly/yearly budgets

inspiration spread for new projects

level 10 life: rate areas (academic, personal, mental, physical, spiritual, social, financial) of your life out of 10, and write down goals to improve that rating!

monthly overviews (e.g. progress on goals)

assignment due dates calendar

18 things to do by the end of 2018

Special Pages for Special Friends

business cards from networking events

gift ideas for your friends/family/significant other

birthday / anniversary calendar

emergency contacts / phone numbers of important people

friendship journal:

memories / moments they were there for you

how you met

moments you want to share in the future

their mbti/hogwarts house

their best qualities

Trackers/Logs/______ of the Day

gratitude journal - # things you’re grateful for every day

habit trackers

motivational quotes

news headlines / this day in history

daily affirmations

currently reading / watching / listening to / feeling / eating / wanting etc.

time usage (read: wastage) tracker

k-drama or tv show episode tracker (always forget what ep I’m up to :S)

expenses tracker / tax deductibles

dream diary (tracker, plot(?), lucid or not, dream meanings)

new album or song releases

photo diary / sketch diary

weather

follower milestones

social media post tracker

household duties/chores tracker

grades tracker

year in pixels

TIL (today I learned)

civics

appointments: dentist, optometrist, doctor, therapist, etc.

bills: car / internet / rent etc

tax: income statements and work expenses receipts

membership/licence renewals

health

weight tracker

resting heart rate tracker (gives general idea of cardio fitness)

water intake tracker sleep log / time to bed / time awake / total hours slept

exercise log: number of reps / steps / minutes

mood trackers

period tracker

Various Creative Spread Ideas

day-to-day / life planning spreads

skincare routines

perfect/ideal morning routine 

self-care reminders

exercise routines

wishlist

bucket list

firsts: kiss, date, house, vacation, car, concert, etc.

DIYs to attempt

savings jar (doodle it!)

yearly / monthly recurring tasks

usernames/passwords (hints only for security!) 

5 or 10 year plans

dream job

dream house

planning for moving houses

dream wedding / planning

date ideas

make a worse case scenarios primer

summary tutorials for your reference e.g. step-by-step tax returns

academic

studyblr ideas

topics I need to revise

finals study timetable/plan

aspirations: what you want to be and why / how to get there

class timetable

assignment ideas

project schedules / team meeting dates

professors’ emails/office hours

assessment results

anti-procrastination page

motivations to study

skills you want to learn or are useful e.g. coding

formulas page

courses you want to take and their pre-reqs

college comparisons

back to school shopping list

textbook list with prices

language learning

vocabulary lists

grammar structures

media (books/tv shows/movies) to consume in that language

self-reflection / personality traits

best and worst characteristics

what to be mindful of / what you need to work on

mbti types you’re most compatible with 

fears and how you want to overcome them

letters to your future self (include hopes and dreams)

letters to your past self (include achievements and things to be proud of!)

inspirational people

stress management tips

charities to donate to and why you support them

volunteering activities

fun, cute, and aesthetic spread ideas

things worth staying alive for / getting out of bed for

a spread with all the things you were worried about which turned out fine

message page from your friends to you

“i can’t live without ______”

creative crafts spread: tips / equipment / tutorials

aesthetic colour moodboards

happy / comforting / relaxing / funny things spread 

seasons (summer/autumn/winter/spring) spread

rainy day spread

holidays spreads: christmas / easter / halloween / thanksgiving

idioms and proverbs from all different cultures

flowers spread: fav flowers, meanings, bouquet/arrangements, press ‘em!

crystals spread: fav gemstones (doodle ‘em), meanings

succulents spread: fav succulents, terrarium layout ideas

coffee/tea spread: paint with coffee / fav blends / best cafes

what’s in my bag (doodle it!)

outfit ideas / polyvore style collections

magazine clippings

shower thoughts / hypothetical ideas spread

draw my life spread / personal timeline

favourite characters e.g. gudetama, kumamon, etc. (doodle ‘em!)

interesting words list (ephemeral, mellifluous, serendipity, scintillating etc)

ideal date ideas

wedding anniversary ideas (like 1st is paper, 25th silver, 30th pearl, 40th ruby, 50th gold, 60th diamond)

baby animals spread (duckies, puppies, bunnies!!)

#just bullet journal things

bujo spread layouts and devices to try out (e.g. chronodex, parallel time ladder) 

key/legend (keep it simple!)

colour palettes/swatches

washi tape / pens / markers swatches

banners / fonts

doodles

ticket stubs / receipts

stickers / stamps

cutouts of info brochures

pressed flowers

calligraphy / brush lettering / handwriting practice

favourite stationery

activities

_______ that you want to do* / have done* (kind of bucket list) *watch, read, listen to, try, taste, cook, play etc. 

books

movies

tv shows

music

hobbies

arts/crafts e.g. paper quilling

sports e.g. archery

how to play / equipment / etc.

video games

foods

activities

board games

books / movies / tv shows

summary / review

favourite characters

meaningful moments / moments that made you laugh / cry

(for the media critic) artful moments:

best descriptive passages

best cinematography

best action scenes

best use of soundtracks

(basically moments that make it deserving of awards)

music

album reviews

favourite songs

playlists for every mood and all seasons

meaningful lyrics

songs you shazamed

favourite genres and exemplar songs

kpop

reasons why i love my bias / bias wrecker / group

letter to your bias

comeback concepts / favourite outfits

visual/picture tutorials for makeup styles

calendar of your favs’ schedules during comeback season

in-jokes/memes

awards / achievements / records broken / milestones

translated lyrics

kpop songs vocab lists

upcoming releases

on this day

art

pics of your favourite artworks/artists + write about it

art styles you want to emulate

explain techniques for different media e.g. watercolour wet-on-wet

doodle ideas

astrology

natal chart readings/aspects/placements

solar return reading for the incoming year / transits

synastry / compatibility chart readings

constellation/star charts

symbol reference page for planets, zodiac signs, aspects

food

recipes

meal plans

shopping lists

interesting foods: (doodle ‘em!) taste / texture / smell (e.g. truffles, caviar)

cafes/restaurants you want to go to + their specialty dish (photo)

cocktails you want to mix/taste (doodle ‘em!)

media

interesting articles + moral/ethical issues it prompted you to think about

controversial topics on the news and for/against arguments/your thoughts

on this day in history

fav websites / blogs

jokes / puns / pickup lines

favourite poems / quotes / short stories

kinaesthetic

burn book - write things that make you angry/sad and rip the page out

wreck it journal - e.g. colour, scribble, stickers all over this page

travel

places to visit

travel itinerary

cultural parables

useful phrases in the language and their meaning

travel memories spread: things you did / places you went / selfies

postcard collection

packing list

friendly and not-so-friendly people that you met in foreign lands

writing

short story ideas

plot brainstorming spreads

journal prompts

drabbles

character designs

foreign words which can’t be directly translated into english

Follow optomstudies for daily original posts and study masterposts!  Links: all originals + langblr posts + 15-part college 101 series + web directory!

[uzumaki-rebellion]

Black Boys Bloom Thorns First Volume 2, Chapter 12

Kinda over all the hard times I've been through

(Love brought me to you)

And I kinda feel loose

My heart I choose

My heart been broke down in the dirt and I finally see blue

Raised hands feel focused

And I'm done being broken

And I talked about love, real love

You the only thing that get me up

I'm high

Got me so far off that I could fly

Watch me fly…"

"High" - Ledisi

N'Jobu saw the S.H.I.E.L.D. agent slip into the back of the dance club around ten at night. He followed the white woman from a boarded-up strip mall building in East Oakland all the way across the bridge and into Korea Town. She must've felt very comfortable moving about because she was not careful about her surroundings nor did she try any evasive maneuvers to throw anyone off her trail. She dressed like a real estate agent and had the air of a woman accustomed to being anywhere she pleased.

Sandy brown hair cut in a short smart style, the woman eased past a crowded dance floor and took a seat at a small table next to a man sporting baggy jeans, a silk shirt, and dark glasses. N'Jobu bought a rum and coke and casually walked past them tossing a microbead under their table. He adjusted the earbud he wore and stood several feet away from them pretending to admire the dancing.

"Are you sure they have boots on the ground here? In the city?" The man asked. His voice was clear and distinct in N'Jobu's ear.

Light brown in complexion, possibly Southeast Asian, the man was also an agent.

"We have confirmation. But what they are really up to is anyone's guess. The point is they are here and we have to find out why," the woman said.

N'Jobu caught sight of something suspicious in his peripheral. A young Black woman with a short blonde 'fro was peeping the conversation near him. N'Jobu gulped down his rum and coke and maneuvered away from the agents.

"Shit!" the woman agent yelled as the Black woman pulled out a small pistol and aimed for her.

"Run!" the male agent yelled and they both took off toward a rear exit pushing past patrons who were unaware of the danger. The Black woman didn't pull the trigger and N'Jobu suspected it was a setup. He blended in behind the Black woman and followed her toward the exit, his own gun jammed in his front jacket pocket just in case. The two agents must've deactivated the exit alarm because no sounds rang out to alert the establishment that there was trouble.

The rear exit led to an alley and N'Jobu saw the Black woman chase after the two agents who made their getaway in a dark sedan parked conveniently in an illegal spot. She shot at them but missed doing any damage. He pretended to be taking a piss when the woman turned back and headed for the club exit again. Her gun was still in her hand and when she approached him, he acted surprised to see her.

"Damn, baby, who you mad at?" he asked her zipping up his pants and fake staggering like he was inebriated, bumping into her. Her eyes narrowed watching him, but he was convincing because she brushed past him saying, "Drunk ass."

The moment she went back through the exit door he checked his comm tab for her GPS signal. The tracking device he wiped onto her clothing with his hand came up clear for him. She was still inside the club.

Moving in stealth mode through the venue, N'Jobu was surprised no one noticed the slight commotion. The woman sauntered back over to the table where the agents sat and checked for anything they may have left behind. He moved away from her and out of the club entrance using an app on his phone to hail a ride. The GPS would stay active on the woman and he could trace where she laid her head once she left. His one regret was not placing active trackers on the agents to see where they went, but he wasn't expecting this turn of events. He could find the female S.H.I.E.L.D. agent again and try to follow her on some other night. The club location would now become dead space, never to be used again by the agents. At least he was able to capture some photos of all three people. He had upgraded facial recognition software in his kimoyo beads so hopefully, something would pop on the man and the other woman who interrupted the meeting.

N'Jobu was tired and wanted to finish his field reports and hit the sack in his apartment. He worked a split shift at the barbershop and had been on his feet all day and night. He had to meet Califia and Erik in church the next morning. Nana Jean was receiving an award from her church for over fifty years of faithful service. The Stevens family was expected to turn out en masse to help celebrate and he promised Califia he would meet them there at the church on time. His last four nights had been busy spying and tracking and his woman was missing him at home and so was his son.

A compact orange SUV rolled up that matched the picture on his app and when he reached for the back-passenger handle, he felt the hard barrel of a gun jammed into his back.

"Get in like normal. We're going for a ride player," the Black woman said.

N'Jobu didn't make any sudden moves, he hadn't expected her to do this, but he had to blame himself for not keeping up his drunk act all the way out of the building. She must've caught on to his ruse. His mind was on getting home and being with his family instead of the mission at hand. It wouldn't happen again. He climbed into the backseat and the woman eased in behind him closing the door. She kept her gun trained on his side.

"Fun date night?" The driver asked trying to be friendly.

"Awesome date night," the woman answered.

N'Jobu looked at her. The blonde hair made her dark skin look warm and inviting, but her eyes were cold sable pools of danger.

"I like this song, could you turn up your music?" the woman said.

"Sure," the driver said pressing a button on his steering wheel.

Music up, the woman leaned into N'Jobu letting her lips graze his ear.

"Who are you? Who do you work for?"

N'Jobu tried playing it off with his drunken club façade, but her eyes let him know it was best to stop.

"I'm just hanging out. What's good?" he said.

He was relaxed as they rode through the streets, the address given to the driver was a fake address to a safe house his people had set up that was away from his own home with Califia and his apartment. Her dark eyes studied him. "Intellis? Hydra? Deep S.H.I.E.L.D.?"

"Sorry, Ma, I don't know what you're talking about. I don't mind sharing this Lyft, but that piece in my side ain't cool."

"You followed me out of the exit. You were tracking those agents too."

"Like I said—"

She lifted the gun to his head. The driver was oblivious, too busy enjoying his own music and moving through traffic. N'Jobu held still. He could easily overtake her, but he wanted to see what more she would reveal.

She gave a deep sigh and glanced at the driver. When her eyes left his, he swiped her gun from her hand and stuck it hard into her ribcage. He leaned into her tight making it look like he was cuddling with her.

"My turn. Why are you accosting me when I'm just trying to have a good time on a Saturday night?"

She seemed upset that he turned the tables on her, probably believing he was actually a random dude she had pegged wrong. The car came to a red light and the woman reached up fast and scratched the hell out of N'Jobu's face before bolting out of the backseat and onto the street.

"Hey! What is she doing?" The driver yelled staring at the woman running into the night.

N'Jobu pocketed her gun and closed the back passenger door. He felt blood welling up from the deep scratches she left on his face with her nails.

"Lovers spat. She's mad at me for talking to some other woman back at the club."

The driver glared at N'Jobu as if he were nervous about having him in the back of the car. Holding the side of his face, N'Jobu released the biggest smile.

"We go through this every time we go out. She thinks I'm flirting and I'm just asking this chick what drink she had in her hand. Go figure. Aye, you can let me off over there. I'm going to walk off this buzz. My apartment is nearby."

The driver pulled over once they made it through the green light.

"Thanks," N'Jobu called out as he left the car. The driver took off and N'Jobu checked the GPS tracker. The woman was close by, inside an apartment on the next block. He picked up his pace and walked to the apartment. Waiting on the corner as if he were waiting for a late-night bus, he kept his eyes on her domain. She appeared to be in for the night. He recorded the address and hoped she had some good prints on her gun. He would figure out who she was later.

He jogged a few blocks down and called for another ride. This time to his real home. No one was tailing him.

The scratches on his face began to throb with a dull pain. He had church in the morning and would have to explain the marks on his face. He had some medicinal cream from home in his apartment that would help speed up healing, but he would still have signs of injury in the morning.

His new ride appeared and he jumped in. His body ached. He was tempted to go to the townhouse and slip into bed with Califia. But he had work to complete. He couldn't wait to see his family at church.

Califia checked her watch. He was late. But only by a few minutes.

Holding Erik in her lap she glanced toward the back of the church to see if N'Jobu had slipped in and was waiting in a back pew. Nana Jean was up front with Califia's father and Uncle and the rest of the family sat behind them. Several cousins flew out from Atlanta to witness the event and a few from Richmond came through too. They were representing Nana well.

Califia heard some tittering behind her and when she looked back, N'Jobu was sauntering in wearing a gorgeous eggplant-colored suit with a matching tie and expensive shoes. He looked like he was wearing something from his Prince couture closet. Her man looked clean from top to bottom except for that large bandage on his left cheek. They made eye contact and she watched him head for her and Erik as some in the congregation watched him. They didn't come to church often, but when they did, N'Jobu was always a head turner. He squeezed into the pew next to her and Erik was already crawling onto his lap. N'Jobu leaned over and kissed Califia's cheek. Erik puckered up his lips and N'Jobu kissed his son back. Califia had put thin cornrows in Erik's hair while she wore her own hair out in a bushy 'fro. She was letting it grow out. Erik's hair was already touching his shoulders and there was talk between them of cutting it for pre-school soon.

Pre-school.

Time was marching. Erik was three and ready to go into a classroom with other students. She watched N'Jobu admire the maroon suit jacket and bow tie that she had put on Erik. His son looked dapper. Even his toddler shoes looked fancy and the color matched his tie. Like father, like son.

"What happened to your face?" Califia whispered to him.

N'Jobu looked at her and she got lost in his eyes. She hadn't seen him for any real length of time for four days and she missed him. Worried about him too. He let his thigh rest against hers as he reached down and held her hand.

"On the job snafu."

"The shop or….?"

"Not the shop."

She asked no further questions.

"It's nothing serious. I promise, just a scratch," he said.

His eyes roamed over her outfit.

"You look lovely," he said.

She bought a new purple blouse and skirt set along with some cute heels appropriate for church. Her grandmother had puckered her lips when she saw how tight the skirt was, but she couldn't say much when some of the other women in the church were wearing dresses that could be worn at a club.

Califia saw Nana Jean turn around and wave her hand for her great-grandson to be brought to her. Califia picked up Erik and moved away from the pew and headed to the front of the congregation. She heard a few people say "Aw, how cute," when she walked past them with Erik. He really was cute and she felt proud that her son was acting so well in church. When Erik saw Nana he automatically reached out for her and the older woman took him onto her lap. Califia returned to her seat and N'Jobu leaned into her ear, "I think the deacon on the right was checking out your ass. That skirt is tight as hell, girl."

"I didn't think it was all that tight when I got it."

"Trust me. That thang is poked out. Did Nana say anything?"

"She looked me over a bit."

"I'm sure she did," he said beginning to giggle. Califia hit his knee.

The pastor of the church stood reading off Nana's history with the church, shared a few anecdotes, and then called Nana forward. The entire church stood giving her a standing ovation and they all watched her walk up to the podium with Erik in her arms. Erik appeared enamored with the crowd looking at him and he held onto his great-grandmother's neck with one arm.

"This is my great-grandson, Erik. Don't he look nice?" Nana said bragging on him.

Califia found herself beaming as she held N'Jobu's hand. They listened to Nana as she thanked her church home and Pastor, and Califia saw N'Jobu really get into what her grandmother was saying about community and commitment to uplift. When she was finished speaking, a young woman stood next to her with a large gold plaque in her hand. N'Jobu strolled up to get Erik so Nana could hold her plaque. He stayed on the stage next to Nana and Califia's Aunt Doxie leaned over from the front pew and said, "Girl, you can tell Erik is his baby. Looks just like him. Chile, your son is going to be fine when he grows up. Y'all in trouble."

Califia laughed, but staring at them both on stage, she realized Aunt Doxie was right. Erik's cuteness was just the first stage of taking after his father. She could only imagine if he took on any of N'Jobu's traits when he grew older. How many young girls would be crying over him? Boys too. Vying for his attention? Calling the house at all hours trying to catch him? She was dreading the birds and the bees talk because already at the age of three, Erik was a big flirt. He was already tapping into his skills as a charmer. One well-placed dimple when he smiled had people fawning over him already. And he recognized that power to manipulate.

Nana walked back to her seat in the front pew and N'Jobu walked back to his seat with Erik. There would be a potluck dinner in the church dining hall and everyone was planning to stay for it. Califia was itching to go home with N'Jobu. She wanted to feed Erik, change him and put him to bed then crawl onto the couch with her man and fool around. And then talk about going back to work.

She already accepted a job offer for the fall when Erik would start school. Their son would go to pre-school for a half day and Dante would pick him up and watch him until she came home from work. The new school that hired her was a twenty-minute drive from their house, a middle school that had a great reputation and a gifted and talented education program that was filled with children of color. It was a school she would want Erik to attend once he came of age. She was excited about it and wanted to tell N'Jobu all the details. She knew he wanted her to stay home longer, but she felt it would be easier to get through his misgivings if she already had a job in place.

At the potluck, Califia introduced N'Jobu to many people who were curious about her and him. She wasn't deep into the church so each time congregants saw her, they wanted to catch up, and now that she had a son by a man they didn't know, their curiosity was strong. Erik sat and ate with Nana and he was getting his flirt on with a few grade school girls who kept playing with him and fussing over his bow tie and shoes. She spied him purposely untying his shoes so some little girl would come over and tie them for him. Then he would smile real big for her just so she would play with his hair or ask to carry him around again.

When two girls walked around with Erik holding his hand and they came her way, Califia bent down and told him, "Stop untying your shoelaces." He just smiled. N'Jobu only sat back and grinned.

"Don't encourage him," she said.

"He is his own person."

"With your D.N.A."

N'Jobu shrugged and they both watched Erik work the room.

"When are you two going to have more like him?"

Califia was startled to see the Pastor's granddaughter standing so close to their seats.

"Cali, right?" The woman said. Her eyes flitted past Califia and landed on N'Jobu's.

"Yeah," Califia said crossing her leg so that it rubbed up against N'Jobu's leg.

"Your grandmother is always talking about you and the work you do at Alpha House. The dance classes and martial arts…you always sound so busy. Hello there, I'm Kandice, you are…?"

Kandice held out a well-manicured hand toward N'Jobu. He shook her hand and threw his arm around the back of Califia's chair.

"Thinking about more kids?" she asked again.

Califia hated when people did that. Especially people she didn't know well.

"Erik is a handful right now, so not any time soon," she answered. She noticed N'Jobu's expression. He seemed disappointed with her answer.

"Well that little guy is adorable and you make pretty babies together. You should give him a sibling."

Califia wanted to tell Kandice to mind her own damn business but she felt N'Jobu stroke her back gently to calm her. He could already tell she was ready to tell ole girl off.

Kandice went on her way and N'Jobu moved closer to her.

"Erik is not really a handful, Califia."

"I know, I just wanted to make her go away."

"It would be nice for him to have a sibling."

Califia stared at him.

"Just not now," she said.

His eyes blinked and then she knew. He wanted more babies sooner. Not later.

"I took a job, N'Jobu. I will be teaching in the fall at a middle school. I'm going back to work."

He let her words sink in.

"I was going to tell you about it tonight. I wanted to tell you sooner, but you've been gone and…"

"I want us to have another baby, Califia. I want more children with you. I don't want to wait. It would be good to have our kids close in age. I don't want Erik to be alone-"

"N'Jobu—"

"That's how I feel."

Califia glanced around the church dining hall. No one was listening to them and Erik was busy being the center of attention with Nana.

"Let's talk about this later," she said. N'Jobu nodded his head.

She had hoped he would want to wait a few more years before they tried again. But he wanted more than just one sibling for Erik.

She raised her hand up to his face where the bandage was.

"Let me see it," she said.

He lifted up the tape and pulled back the bandage. Four scratches. The type of marks a woman might make. She put the bandage back in its place. Glancing around the room she made eye contact with her grandmother.

"I'll be right back," she said leaving her seat.

The room was full of chatter and laughter and church folk catching up with all the good gossip. Califia made her way to Nana.

"Hey, Nana," Califia said.

"He looks to be winding down. You all can go on home if you want. I'm leaving in a few minutes with your father and Doxie."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Thank you for coming and bringing my sweet great-grandbaby. He is so good around people. Didn't fuss or anything,"

Califia picked Erik up.

"You ready to go home, JaJa?"

He nodded.

"Say bye-bye to Nana."

Erik leaned over and hugged Nana.

"Give your Nana a kiss so you can go with your Momma."

Erik kissed Nana and waved at everyone as she walked to her father and gave Dante a hug. N'Jobu was up with his car keys in his hand. Califia and Erik had caught a ride with a cousin to the church. They would ride home with him.

The moment they were in the car and Erik was safely strapped in the backseat, Califia asked what she was dying to know.

"A woman made that mark on your face. Right?"

"Yes," N'Jobu said heading away from the church.

"I thought you just spied on people. You're interacting with them now? Who is she?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know—"

"I was watching some other people and then she pulled a gun on me."

Califia stared at his face. He was calm driving. He hardly told her anything about what he did and she never really asked. But those scratches…that was something intimate. Face to face.

"A gun was pulled on you? Jesus Christ. N'Jobu—"

"I took it from her. Nothing serious—"

"Nothing serious? I'm thinking you are just out there…damn…you're running around with guns too…and you want me to have more babies when I have to worry about you getting hurt or killed now?"

He kept silent.

"I don't like this." "It's what I do, Califia."

"I still don't like it."

The silence in the car was loud to her ears. Her stomach was upset and she was tense in her shoulders. All she wanted to do was be home alone with her man and child and close out the world. But here they were.

Erik was fast asleep when they arrived home. N'Jobu carried him inside and took him to bed, changing his clothes and telling him a story to help him ease back into dreamland. She took a shower and changed into a long nightgown. N'Jobu was still in Erik's room when she went downstairs to watch TV.

Forty minutes later he walked down and joined her on the couch. He didn't speak and she didn't really want to talk about baby making or even her career. Her thoughts were on the woman who pulled a gun on him. He had taken the bandage off and rubbed some fresh medicinal cream on his wound.

They sat next to each other rather stiff and awkward.

"I hate worrying about you," she said still not looking at him.

"I don't want to cause you to worry. This was just an isolated incident. I want to keep this work away from you and Erik."

"Hard to do when people are putting hands on you."

She finally turned to look at him. She touched his face. What bitch marred his beautiful skin?

"Tell me who did this and I will whoop her ass."

N'Jobu smiled and held her hand. He kissed the inside of her palm gently and pulled her in close. She rested her head on his chest. He made her feel calm at that moment.

"I want to have more children with you. I do. But I would like to work for a bit and focus all my energy on Erik. He has cousins and we have friends with children so he won't feel alone. Just let me have a few years of teaching and my other work."

He stroked her arm and then kissed her forehead.

"If that is what you want, then I will support you."

She felt his body tremble a bit and she held onto his arm tight.

"We will have that tribe you want, babe. When you take us all to your home one day, we will make your family proud. Okay?"

"Okay," he said with the softest voice she had heard from him in a long time. He was hurting. She felt it.

They were both mentally drained but held each other for some time on the couch, the TV blaring a series of awful TV shows. Califia laid her head on his lap and he rested against the couch rubbing her back.

"Please tell me you're not mad at me," she whispered when he flipped the channel. The quiet between them was bothering her.

"I'm not mad. Just a little sad. I told you I would support you. I will."

She hated disappointing people she loved. The sadness in his voice made her feel sad for him. Life was going well for them. They were truly blessed to have one another and Erik. They were blessed to have a home they could afford, and extra resources to do nice things together as a family. Most people around them struggled, but they were lucky to live the life they did.

She finally felt confident in raising Erik the way she thought he should be raised with the help of N'Jobu. Not having her own mother around and not having a great relationship with her for so many years made Califia concerned that she would not have the type of experience necessary to bring her son up in the positive loving environment she wanted for him. She herself had been raised by parents who loved one another despite their interpersonal flaws and fights, but once her father was gone, she didn't receive the mothering she needed to thrive. She often felt she had to mother herself while her own mother found herself again. And once Melissa re-married, her focus was on her new husband and her new babies. Love seemed conditional there. As long as Califia was good and didn't cause problems Melissa was a competent parent. However, Califia was a young girl grappling with trauma, and Melissa was ill-equipped to handle that and two new young babies. She preferred to ignore it. Califia felt like an outsider in that home. She always felt like she had to figure out life without any help from her mother.

Even when Bakari's parents fostered her until high school and gave her love and security, she still felt a displacement, a sense of being a fringe dweller horning in on someone else's family. She had nothing of her own. Living with Nana from high school until parts of college saw her sharing space with a revolving door of cousins, aunts, and uncles who sought respite when life got rough or they were going through a transition: homelessness, unemployment, divorce, domestic abuse, drug rehabilitation. Nana provided a stable home but it was often chaotic with family drama.

Living with N'Jobu and having Erik gave her peace. They gave her security. Real stability. Love unconditional. She finally had what she needed. She didn't want to offset the balance she had now. But N'Jobu was feeling slighted. No, not slighted. Incomplete? Missing something…

"Are you worried that Erik being half Wakandan and living here will cause him problems if he is alone?"

She felt N'Jobu's hand stop in mid stroke on her back. She sat up to look at him.

"You don't want him to be an outsider," she said.

"I do worry about that," he said.

She touched his hand.

"He is also Black American, and he is being raised here. He will not feel like an outsider with my people. He is always surrounded by love. And he has us."

N'Jobu seemed to relax because of her words.

Once they found their way to bed for the night, N'Jobu held her tight, making her lie on top of him while his arms surrounded her. The tension that hovered over them earlier in the night had dissipated. She thought they would make love, anticipated it once the friction between them passed. But he just held her until she fell asleep.

The Saturday before Erik was to start pre-school was a rite of passage for him.

His first haircut.

Dante and Nana Jean came to the shop with Califia's cousin Junie and Michelle, as well as her Aunt Kendra and Kendra's grandchildren ages four and five. Erik was excited by all the attention and when the family swept into N'Jobu's shop, it became a festive atmosphere.

All was well until Erik was sitting in the booster seat on N'Jobu's shop chair. Both Erik and Califia rocked 'fros, but once N'Jobu's clippers started buzzing and he made the first pass on Erik's hair, his son began to cry.

At first, they thought it was the sound of the clippers scaring him, but when N'Jobu turned them off and stared at his son's face, he guessed it had to be something else.

"Why are you crying, JaJa?" he asked.

Erik's wet eyes looked tortured and his hand went to his lip. Califia rubbed his back trying to calm him.

"I want my hair to be like Mommy's!" he wailed.

All the adults cackled and Califia's face gave their son a sympathetic look.

"You'll look so handsome with a nice haircut from Baba," she encouraged, "you'll look like him."

Erik shook his head and his tears sprung harder.

Dante and Junie laughed at N'Jobu.

"JaJa, I already started to cut your hair, it won't look like Mommy's—"

"Erik, don't be that way," Califia said touching his cheek.

Califia's eyes were full of mirth as she stared at N'Jobu. There was no going back on the clippers now.

"Mommy is getting a haircut too!" Califia said. N'Jobu stared at her. Her thick head of hair was returning to its old sunburst length finally. Would she really cut it off so soon?

"Let Baba finish cutting your hair and then it will be my turn. Mommy has to get a new haircut for school too."

Califia gave N'Jobu a look to finish his work on their son. Erik had stopped crying and was staring at his mother in earnest.

"You'll still look like Mommy, okay?"

Erik nodded and allowed her to wipe his tears away with her fingers.

N'Jobu turned his clippers back on and Junie captured the haircut with his cell phone along with Califia and Dante using theirs.

Once he got his son's hair trimmed and tapered down to the proper length he and Califia agreed on, he etched in lines on the side to give his boy some style with a different set of clippers.

"Watch out now," Nana Jean said admiring the quality of N'Jobu's handiwork. Erik's young cousin's Macy and Dean watched, both ready to leave the shop because they were all promised a trip to get ice cream from a local spot once Erik's hair was done.

N'Jobu brushed the back of his son's neck and his shoulders before releasing him. They gave Erik a mirror to admire himself and he broke out in the biggest dimpled grin.

"Your turn, Mommy!" he said as N'Jobu helped him down from the booster seat. N'Jobu handed the booster seat to the new shop assistant and Califia took Erik's place.

"Go ahead and take the kids to get lunch and ice cream. I'll catch up with you when he's done," Califia said.

Dante picked up Erik so he could see his mother get the first cut.

N'Jobu touched Califia's hair, his fingers caressing the soft fullness.

"You sure you want to do this?"

"My baby wants to look like me. I can't deny that little face anything," she said.

N'Jobu fired up his clippers with fresh clean blades.

"Here we go," he said and took out one smooth swipe of her luxurious hair.

When N'Jobu glanced at his son, he saw Erik clap his hands. He took another strip of hair out and Califia waved her hand at the family.

"Go get the kids ice cream. Macy and Dean look bored watching this," Califia said.

"Bye, Mommy! Bye, Baba!" Erik said waving.

"You be good for Grandpa and Nana," Califia called after them as the family left the shop.

He and Califia waved at Erik, and then N'Jobu continued with her hair.

He ran his fingers on the new smooth section of her scalp. Something about touching her there made him feel excited. He didn't put a drape around her so the clipped strands of her hair fell on her bare shoulders. He brushed away her shorn locks as he worked. She wore a yellow halter dress and the ginger hairs that fell across her reddish skin stirred a sensual visual for him. When she tilted her head to the side for him, his eyes glanced down at her round soft shoulders and the curve of her breasts. He trailed his fingers on her shoulders and she gave him a look like something was kindled within her too. He felt himself breathing a little harder and focused on finishing her hair.

He caught some male customers watching them…her in particular like they sensed something rising between them. When he glanced over at Nate, his boss had his eyes right on Califia. N'Jobu knew the man had a thing for her. Nate was respectful and even a little doting on Califia and Erik. He was a married man with a few side chicks that popped up in the shop from time to time. He also had a foul mouth, but whenever Califia was around, he turned into a saint with just a hint of lust in his eyes when he thought N'Jobu wasn't looking.

N'Jobu would normally pitch a quiet fit if a dude was checking for Califia a little too hard, but Nate was an exception. Probably because he allowed N'Jobu to do what he wanted whenever he wanted, especially when it came to taking time off at a moment's notice. A little reckless eyeballing on his woman was a small price to pay in order for N'Jobu to spy and keep his freedom of movement.

Turning his attention back on Califia, he could smell the shampoo she had used on her hair that morning, satsuma orange. The lotion she rubbed into her skin wafted up, strawberry scented and complimenting the orange aroma falling away from her. He stepped in front of her and tilted her head up so that she was looking at him. He bent down and kissed her, not caring if anyone watched them. He slipped her a bit of tongue, then pulled up allowing a finger to dip down and rub across the top of her dress so that he touched a nipple that hardened under the cotton material. Califia's eyes began to smolder and he moved around her so that he could continue cutting.

The barber Ivan now had his eyes on them, and he must've caught the slip of N'Jobu's finger on Califia's nipple because N'Jobu saw the man adjust his manhood, his eyes staring at Califia's chest. Even Tamla the manicurist was watching them, her face starting to look flustered by what N'Jobu was doing. A simple haircut had become something more.

Once he had her scalp smooth and faded just right, he lined her up and gave her a similar look like their son. She looked gorgeous. Short hair was her signature look he felt. Her eyes popped, her lips and cheeks popped, she just looked amazing without hair. He wiped the rest of the loose strands from her shoulders and neck with his hands. The contact with her skin had him hungry for her. He could see her nipples so ready for him. They all could.

"Hooked that shit up, JoJo," Nate said still watching from across the room.

"I have to use the restroom," Califia said getting out of the chair. She handed N'Jobu money for their haircuts and moved to the back of the shop to go use the employee restroom. N'Jobu handed the shop cashier the money.

"Erik's on us," Nate said as he worked on a young man with a thinning hairline.

"Thanks," N'Jobu said.

He followed Califia into the back of the shop. No one else was back there, but he heard water running in the restroom. He opened the door.

Califia had a paper towel folded in half and was letting water splash onto it. She wiped the back of her neck with it.

"You got me a little hot and bothered out there," she said smiling at him. He didn't smile back. He closed the door behind him and ran his hands across her back and neck and rubbed her in spots that had her closing her eyes.

"That feels good," she said.

He placed his lips on her left shoulder and allowed his mouth to move down her back and across to her other shoulder. His fingers trailed up her neck and stroked her scalp for a bit, his eyes staring at her in the restroom mirror.

"You are so beautiful," he said.

Before she could respond, he turned her around and his hands cradled her face. He kissed her, light touches at first, and then his teeth were pulling on her bottom lip. She opened her mouth and let his tongue in. He lifted her up and sat her on the edge of the sink, his mouth never leaving hers.

It seemed like it had been a long time since they had kissed like this, and he could not get enough of her. He ran his hands across her smooth scalp once more, his lips nibbling at her earlobes, and he could hear the satisfied sighs coming from her.

"Babe, you're at work—"

He pulled down the top of her halter dress exposing her breasts.

"N'Jobu," she gasped pulling her dress top back up and trying her best to place her breasts into the built-in bra cups. He unzipped his pants and pulled his cock out through the slit in his boxers and stroked himself. He hadn't touched her intimately since before Nana Jean's award. Work, taking care of Erik and Califia, and his nighttime spying kept him busy. He had been unable to relax enough to touch her for weeks. Cutting her hair made him desire her on the spot, even though it was his workplace. He didn't care. He was going to have her.

He pulled down her dress again and squeezed both breasts with his hands. Califia sighed and let him do what he wanted. He let his right hand drop back down and stroke his erection while he played with her nipple. Pre-cum oozed out onto the floor.

"Baby," Califia said as she watched the puddle of his own making pool on the floor. She let a finger drop and play with his slit, her digit coated with his wetness. She put her fingers in her mouth and sucked off his pre-cum.

"You taste so good," she said.

He continued working his dick and staring at her chest. He bent his head and latched onto her right nipple. She held the back of his neck with one hand.

He licked and sucked on her other nipple then raised up stroking himself harder.

"Yo, JoJo, your next customer is here," Nate called out from the office. N'Jobu slowed down his hand. Califia held a hand to her mouth to keep herself from laughing.

"You hear me?"

"Yeah, Nate. Give me a minute," N'Jobu answered.

"Take two," Nate said.

N'Jobu smirked. Califia tried pulling her dress back up again.

"Don't," he said, his eyes still glued to her large areolas. He resumed stroking himself.

"Your boss is outside that door," she said.

"I don't care. I have two minutes."

Califia fixed her dress.

"Come home tonight and I will let you have whatever you want," she said.

He sought out her lips again and when she let him taste her tongue once more, he forced her right hand onto his cock.

"Play with my dick," he whispered in her ear.

"Nate can hear us—"

"Come on, girl…"

She did what he asked and he was so primed for her touch that he began rutting in her hand freely, grunting as she rolled her fingers around the head of his cock.

They could both hear Nate moving around in his office, going through his desk and typing on his office laptop.

"For real, N'Jobu, we should stop."

"Stroke my shit."

"You can't cum on my dress."

"I'm going to cum on your tits."

He reached over and pulled the toilet seat lid down. Luckily for Califia, Tamla liked having a plush pink toilet seat cover in their work restroom. N'Jobu pulled Califia from off of the sink and had her sit on the toilet lid. He yanked her dress top back down and released his entire dick and balls from his pants, sandwiching himself between her breasts.

"I can't believe you right now," she said holding her tits together for him.

"Just look at me," he said thrusting inside the soft round orbs she offered up to him. Her pseudo-innocent eyes had him slipping into a need for release. He gripped his dick and pulled out from her breasts.

"Push those tits together…shit…," he said.

She mashed her breasts together and opened her mouth letting her tongue roll out teasing him. He changed his mind about her breasts.

"Fuck girl…take this fat nut."

His release coated her tongue and she had to wrap her lips around him and swallow everything fast to keep it from dripping onto her dress. He tried to keep his voice low but his groans got away from him. Nate definitely got an earful.

When she finished licking her lips and fixing her clothes, Califia stood up and poked him in his chest.

"How am I supposed to go out there now? Is he still in the office?"

"Probably."

He saw her cheeks color.

"Don't worry about it. He won't trip. I've heard him in here plenty of times myself. He can't say shit."

"Him and Pamela be in here?"

He gave her a sly look.

"Ooh…" she said.

He shrugged.

"He cheats on her in the restroom?"

He shrugged again.

"And you had to do this with me in here?"

"Stop being sexy to me then," he said.

"Y'all nasty."

She still wouldn't leave the space.

"I'll go out first then you can leave when you're ready."

"Keep him talking or something…ugh…I can't even look him in the eye now."

N'Jobu chuckled.

"I promise, he won't say anything."

Fixing his pants and making sure there were no stains on the floor or on his clothes, N'Jobu washed his hands.

"Wish me luck," he teased and opened the restroom door.

Nate was obviously pretending to be fixated on his computer when N'Jobu stepped out.

"Everything good?" Nate drawled out and N'Jobu grinned.

"Of course—"

Califia breezed past them both, not even looking in Nate's direction.

"I better see about my customer," N'Jobu said, his stride relaxed as he left the office.

Califia put Erik to bed at a decent hour. He was exhausted from being with his cousins and running around the local park with his cousins after having lunch and ice cream and then pizza rolls later for dinner at Nana's. He was thrilled to see her hair when she caught up with them at that ice cream parlor.

Lying in bed herself, she waited for N'Jobu to come home. He said he would be home after nine. It was already ten. He left a text saying he wouldn't be long at nine-fifteen.

At ten-thirty she got up and started pacing in the living room, the sexy red nightie she had on for him now covered by an old bathrobe. She texted him but there was no response.

His intuition told him to go snoop back around the apartment where the Black blonde lived from the club fiasco. The GPS he swiped on her jacket still worked so he knew she was inside her apartment building.

Her fingerprints and faceprint came up clean. No records. No telltale signs that she belonged to any organization criminal or otherwise. What was her connection to the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents she was tailing along with him?

He watched her building from his car. His GPS showed she was on the move. Thank goodness she was wearing the same jacket from the club.

He wore glasses with binocular enhancements and kept his focus on the entrance of the apartment building. She was about to walk outside.

"Interesting," he muttered to himself as he watched the Black blonde exit onto the street with another woman who looked exactly like her. Except she had a short platinum 'fro instead of a blonde one. Identical twins.

He scanned their bodies from his car with the glasses and he knew they were packing serious heat under their clothes. Two weapons each.

He checked his cell. Shit. He never responded to Califia's text. She was probably sitting at home pissed.

The twins were walking away from the apartment. He had to make a decision. Let the GPS track the women and hope the blonde twin kept wearing the jacket all night, or go home to appease an angry wife. The GPS would only show where they were going, but not the details that a more elaborate tracking/visual-audio recording system would give him. He would have to get close to one of them to place an upgrade on them but also taking a chance of being caught, or he could tail them, get photos and figure out the proper time to try and get into their apartment to set up surveillance on them.

His cell vibrated.

"I'm sorry, I'm running behind," he mumbled still watching the twins move around the corner.

"You're not coming," she said. He couldn't tell by her tone if she was mad or merely disappointed again.

"I'll be there, but it'll be about another hour."

She hung up on him.

"Shit."

She was mad.

It was after one in the morning when he snuck into their bedroom.

He tried his best to keep quiet so that he could slip in between their sheets and pretend that he had gotten there earlier while she slept. He sidled up next to Califia and felt the silky material of her nightie. Damn. The red one. He missed out on some good loving.

Fuck.

Chapter 13 HERE.