#look i originally wanted to do this set with only my core party but then i realised that apart from gale i love all of them too

[focusonkayjay]

Wildly Wealthy Koreans (7); inspired by Crazy Rich Asians

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: photographer/ filmmaker! jungkook, rich girl/ fashion designer! reader, established relationship, angst, fluff, smut

Series summary: When you invite your boyfriend, Jungkook, to accompany you to your brother's wedding in your hometown, Daegu, he’s overjoyed, eager to meet your family and experience a side of your life you’ve never shared with him. However, once he uncovers the truth about who you really are, he’s unable to grasp the full extent of your reality. The situation becomes even more complicated when a certain someone makes him feel profoundly unwelcome, leaving him to question not only your world, but also his place in it.

Disclaimer: This series is heavily inspired by the movie Crazy Rich Asians, with the storyline closely following the original film's plot. However, I wanted to reimagine it as a fanfiction, where Jungkook and OC take center stage as the main protagonists. While I’ve kept the core elements and themes from the movie, I’ve added my own touches here and there, such as altering certain character dynamics and incorporating a few original settings. Some scenes are directly inspired by the movie, and I’ve worked to recreate them in a way that it hopefully resonates with the fans of the movie. Hope you enjoy!!

Word Count: 7.7k+

Chapter Warnings: i'm assuming there are no warnings but if i need to add anything pls do lmk !!

A/N: my fav part about working on this series is having to rewatch the movie repeatedly to make sure i’m capturing its essence just right. at this point, i feel like i could recite every line by heart without even watching it lmao. anywaysss, this series is wrapping up soon, and I’m going to miss it SOOOO MUCH. pls do read this part and let me know your thoughts! <3

part 7

"I don’t want any part of your family." Jungkook announces, his voice sharp. Before you, your mother, or your grandmother can respond, he turns on his heel and strides away.

You gasp softly, a lump forming in your throat as you spin to face your mother and grandmother, your eyes glistening. "Was this really necessary?" you seethe, your voice trembling with anger and disbelief.

Without waiting for a reply, you rush after Jungkook, your heart pounding as panic and hurt collide within you. The music and laughter of the party feel like a cruel backdrop as you weave through the crowd, calling his name.

Jungkook, however, is already far ahead, his chest tight and his breathing ragged as he pushes through the sea of dancing bodies.

He doesn’t stop, doesn’t look back, his mind reeling from everything he’s just heard. The weight of the accusations, the humiliation, the betrayal... it’s all too much. He crashes into shoulders, mumbles hurried apologies, but keeps moving, driven by only one instinct... to escape.

You, meanwhile, search frantically, your eyes darting through the kaleidoscope of lights and people. “Jungkook!” you call out, your voice barely audible over the music.

You somehow manage to spot Taehyung and Miyeon, who are laughing with your cousins, their cheeks flushed from champagne and joy.

"Have you seen Jungkook?" you ask breathlessly, your desperation apparent. They all exchange confused glances, clearly dazed and unaware of the storm brewing inside you. "No, I haven’t..." Taehyung answers, his brows furrowing. "Is everything okay?"

But you’re already stepping away, scanning the room, your pulse quickening with every passing second. You press through the crowd, ignoring the curious looks from partygoers as dread settles deep in your chest. You silently curse yourself for letting him slip away, knowing how deeply this moment must have wounded him.

Jungkook, now outside the hall, stands under the open night sky, his chest heaving as he tries to steady himself. The cool air stings his skin, but it does little to numb the chaos inside him.

For a fleeting moment, he thought he had found a place to belong... someone to belong to. But tonight, the cracks have grown far too wide, and all he can feel is the ache of being an outsider again.

If your mother’s disapproval had ended with him, he could have taken it... he had prepared himself for that. But dragging his only family into it, accusing his mother, the one person who had given up everything for him? That was unbearable.

The words your mother spoke play on a loop in his head, tearing at his composure. His mother... the woman who worked tirelessly, who sacrificed her dreams for his future, who always made sure he had what he needed, no matter how little they had... how could anyone think so little of her?

He clenches his fists, trying to dispel the anger and confusion threatening to consume him.

And yet, there’s a tiny seed of doubt buried beneath the pain, watered by memories of the sudden move to New York. How his mother randomly quit her job in Busan one day and told him to pack up. How she never offered a real explanation, only saying... "It’s for the best."

Jungkook shakes his head, his trust in her unshaken, but his mind remains clouded. He doesn’t know what to think, what to believe. He feels lost, untethered, as though the ground beneath him is crumbling away.

There’s only one place he can think of going right now... away from this party, away from all these people, away from the echoes of your mother’s piercing words, and that’s Yoongi’s place.

The city noise fades into the background as Jungkook walks, his steps heavy and mechanical. The streets of Daegu blur together, unimportant and indistinct, as he trudges forward, his blazer hanging limply from one hand while the other is buried deep in his pocket.

By the time he reaches Yoongi’s estate, his shoulders are slumped, his head bowed, and he looks like a man carrying the weight of the world.

The massive iron gates screech open, revealing the familiar expanse of Yoongi’s mansion. Jungkook steps inside, dragging his feet across the paved path.

The grand doors swing open almost immediately, and Yoongi rushes out to meet him. "Kook!" Yoongi’s voice is filled with concern, and it’s obvious that the guards must have informed him of Jungkook’s unexpected arrival.

As Yoongi jogs towards him, his expression shifts from confusion to alarm. He slows down when he’s just a few steps away, studying Jungkook intently, trying to piece together why his friend is here instead of at the wedding.

But when Yoongi looks into Jungkook’s eyes, he immediately knows better than to ask. The storm of emotions written all over Jungkook’s face... hurt, betrayal, and exhaustion speaks volumes.

Yoongi doesn’t press for answers, doesn’t push him to talk. Instead, he closes the remaining distance and pulls Jungkook into a firm, securing hug.

Jungkook stiffens at first, but then he lets out a shuddering breath, his tension easing just slightly as he leans into the warmth of Yoongi’s embrace. He shuts his eyes tightly, as if holding them closed can stop the emotions threatening to spill over.

//

You click your tongue in frustration, shaking your head as the voicemail drones on again. You lower your phone, staring at the screen, your heart sinking with every passing second.

Taking a shaky breath, you dial his number again, your hands trembling. "Please... please pick up, Kook... please." you mutter, but just like the 36 times before, the call goes unanswered.

Standing just outside the wedding venue, the muffled sounds of the party echo faintly behind you. The heavy bass of the music vibrates through the ground beneath your feet, a constant reminder of the celebration you’re supposed to be a part of.

Yet everything feels distant, blurred, inconsequential. Your mind is consumed by only one thing, only one person... Jungkook. His face. The look in his eyes when your mother and grandmother shattered the fragile sense of belonging he had.

A part of you knew your mother wasn’t exactly thrilled when you brought Jungkook home for the first time. She had always envisioned someone who fit her rigid mold of perfection... someone polished, wealthy, and born into a family with status.

Jungkook, didn’t exactly align with her ideal type for you. But you convinced yourself, naively, that in time she would see what you saw in him. That after witnessing how much you loved him, she would come around.

What you didn't expect was this. This level of cruelty. A literal background check? Digging into his family’s past? And then to humiliate him so mercilessly in the middle of a celebration? The memory of it makes your stomach churn, a fresh wave of guilt crashing over you.

But you don’t care about his past. You never did. Whatever your mother uncovered, whatever reasons she thinks she has to deem him “unworthy”...none of it matters to you. What matters is him... the man you know, the man you love.

You don’t see Jungkook as a blemish on your family’s pristine reputation or a potential "threat" to your social standing.

You see him as the man who stole your heart the day you met him in New York. The dreamy photographer whose eyes light up when he talks about the things he’s passionate about. The man who sees the world through a lens most people couldn’t even imagine.

You love him for his little quirks... for the way he fusses over perfect lighting, the way he scrunches his nose when he’s deep in thought, the way he pouts his lips to hold himself back from crying while you both watch sappy romcoms in his little apartment, the way he makes you feel truly seen. Not as the rich girl born into privilege, but as you. Just you.

And now, you��re terrified you might have lost him. Terrified that the person who made you feel whole might be slipping away because of the very family you’ve tried so hard to reconcile him with.

Your phone screen dims, and you realize with a jolt that your call has ended... voicemail again. Your breath hitches, and your vision blurs as desperation claws at your chest.

A tear trickles down your cheek and all you can think about is where Jungkook's gone, how he is and what's going through his mind.

//

“Kook… you gotta eat something, man.” Yoongi calls gently from the doorway of the guest room, his voice low and laced with concern.

His eyes scan the dimly lit room, landing on Jungkook, who remains curled up under a thick blanket, his back turned to the world. The younger man is a still, silent figure, lost in the folds of the bed.

There’s no response. No shift. No acknowledgment. Just the faint rise and fall of Jungkook’s shoulders as he breathes.

It’s been a full day since Jungkook showed up at Yoongi’s doorstep, looking like a ghost of himself. He hadn’t offered much explanation, but Yoongi didn’t need one. He’d pieced it together soon enough.

“Alright...” Yoongi murmurs, almost to himself, noticing how Jungkook doesn’t so much as flinch. “Maybe later.” He steps back, pulling the door shut and makes his way to the living room.

“He’s still the same.” Yoongi says as he steps into the room, his tone subdued. His gaze shifts to you, perched on the edge of the couch. You’re sitting so still, your hands clasped tightly on your lap, your knuckles pale.

When Yoongi called you earlier in the morning, informing you that Jungkook was at his place, you hadn’t hesitated. You came immediately, in hopes of seeing how Jungkook was doing.

But now, sitting here, your chest aches with a mix of guilt, worry, and helplessness. You’ve already told Yoongi about what happened at the party... how your mother humiliated Jungkook, dredging up his past like it was some dark secret to be weaponized. And now, the image of his face in that moment... hurt, exposed, betrayed, still haunts you.

Every instinct screams at you to go upstairs, to see him, to explain, to apologize. But fear holds you back. What if you make it worse? What if he doesn’t want to see you? What if he blames you, even though none of this was your doing?

You force yourself to take a breath, the air shaky as it fills your lungs. “Okay then…” Your voice is quiet, almost trembling, as you stand up from the couch. “I’ll leave now.”

Yoongi watches you with a mix of empathy and reluctance. He doesn’t try to stop you, though you can tell he wishes he could offer some kind of comfort.

You make your way to the front door, your footsteps slow and hesitant. But when you reach the door, you pause, turning to face Yoongi. “He’ll... be okay, right?” you ask, your voice soft, fragile. Your eyes search his, pleading for reassurance you desperately need.

Yoongi’s lips press into a thin line before he offers a small, tentative smile. “Hopefully.” he says gently. “I’ll keep you updated. Don’t worry too much.”

You nod, though his words do little to ease the ache in your chest. Your smile in return is faint, barely there, as you turn and step out to leave

Once you’re gone, Yoongi lingers at the door for a moment, watching your car drive away. Then, with a deep exhale, he retreats upstairs, returning to the guest room. The room is as it was... dim, still, heavy with silence. Jungkook hasn’t moved an inch.

Yoongi approaches the bed, sitting on the edge, careful not to startle him. “Kook...” he begins, his tone soft but steady. “Y/n was here.” That gets a reaction, albeit a subtle one. Jungkook’s shoulders stiffen ever so slightly, but he doesn’t turn around.

“She’s worried about you, you know.” Yoongi says gently, his voice cutting through the thick silence. “Said you haven’t been answering her calls.” He pauses, his eyes fixed on the back of Jungkook’s head, waiting for any sign of acknowledgment. When none comes, he exhales softly. “Maybe you should talk to her.”

Jungkook remains motionless, his eyes locked on the faint glow of light outlining the edges of the curtains. The world outside feels distant, unreachable, like a place he no longer belongs.

He’s seen the missed calls, the messages, each one a silent plea from you. He knows you’re worried, he can feel it even in your absence. But the thought of facing you now feels impossible.

His mind loops through the events of the night before... the way your mother’s biting words had stripped him bare in front of you. The sting of humiliation burns fresh in his memory, each detail sharper than the last. He knows it wasn’t your fault. You had no part in what happened, no idea of your mother’s cruel intentions.

Still, the weight of it all... the shame, the vulnerability, the fear that you might look at him differently now, keeps him rooted to the bed.

He misses you. God, he misses you so much it hurts. He wants nothing more than to bury his face in your shoulder, to let your presence soothe the storm raging inside him. But right now, he feels too raw, too exposed.

Maybe he just needs time. Space.

Yoongi watches him closely, waiting for even the smallest reaction. When it doesn’t come, he lets out another sigh, long and heavy with understanding.

“Alright...” he says softly, standing from the bed. “Call me if you need anything. I’ll be downstairs, okay?” His voice is calm, reassuring, as if he’s trying to lend Jungkook some of his own strength.

With that, Yoongi turns and walks towards the door, leaving the younger man alone once again. The sound of the door closing echoes faintly, a quiet reminder that the world hasn’t stopped, even if it feels like Jungkook’s has.

//

“He still hasn’t responded?” Taehyung’s voice is tinged with worry. You don’t reply, your gaze fixed on the open window of your bedroom, the soft rustle of curtains doing little to calm the storm inside you.

Miyeon sits beside you, her arm wrapped gently around your shoulders, her thumb tracing slow, soothing circles. She doesn’t say anything... she knows words won’t reach you right now.

Taehyung, Namjoon, and Seokjin stand nearby, their expressions heavy with concern. Seeing you like this... so pale, so fragile, so utterly shattered, breaks their hearts. It’s been three whole days since everything fell apart.

Three days since the party. Three days since you've seen Jungkook. Since your world crumbled.

According to the initial plan, you and Jungkook were supposed to leave Daegu yesterday to board your flight back to New York. However, the unforeseen turn of events derailed everything.

These past three days, you’ve visited Yoongi’s house every day, hoping… praying… to see Jungkook, to catch even a fleeting glimpse of him. But each time, all you’re met with is Yoongi’s somber shake of the head, a silent confirmation that Jungkook doesn’t want to see you.

Your chest aches with a pain so profound it feels etched into the very fabric of your being. You miss him so fucking much but what haunts you the most is the uncertainty. Where does this leave the two of you? Does he want to end things? Does he want to break up?

The mere thought of never seeing him again feels like an unhealing wound, a chasm that devours every sliver of hope. It’s unbearable... the kind of pain that steals your breath and leaves you hollow, trembling, and utterly lost.

Suddenly, you rise from the bed, startling the others.

“Y/n?” Seokjin’s voice is hurried as they all follow your purposeful strides towards the door. “Where are you going?”

You don’t answer. You don’t even glance back. Your steps quicken as you walk past the hallway and descend the grand staircase, the sound of your footsteps echoing in the tense silence of the house. Your eyes dart around until they find her.

Your mother.

She’s seated by the pool in the garden, sipping tea and reading a book as if nothing has happened. As if she hasn’t ripped your life apart with her calculated cruelty.

Something inside you snaps.

You shove the glass door open with a force that makes it clatter, storming out onto the lawn. Your mother looks up, startled by your sudden presence. She carefully sets her teacup down on the table beside her, a composed expression masking the chaos she’s caused.

“Y/n darling—”

“You’re horrible.” you blurt out, cutting her off. Your voice trembles, not with weakness, but with the sheer force of emotions clawing their way to the surface. Her calm demeanor falters, just slightly. “Y/n—”

“Did you really have to go that far?” you demand, your voice rising with each word. “Really, Mama? A background check? Was that necessary?”

The others... Taehyung, Miyeon, Namjoon, and Seokjin exchange uneasy glances. They stand a few steps behind, unsure if they should intervene, but they know better than to stop you now.

“Do you honestly think digging into his past, dredging up something so personal, and throwing it in his face was the answer?” you continue, your voice shaking with anger and heartbreak.

“Did you think that humiliating him, tearing him down in front of me, would make me change my mind? If you did, you’re wrong, Mama. So, so wrong.”

Your mother opens her mouth, but the fury in your eyes silences her.

“I don’t care about his past!” you cry, your voice breaking. “I don’t care about what his mother did or about your stupid obsession with our reputation. I don’t care if you think he’s a ‘threat’ to our image. None of that matters to me! All I care about is him. I love him, Mama. Don't you understand that? I love him more than anything, and I can’t—” Your voice cracks, tears streaming down your face now.

“I can’t imagine a life without him. And you’ve made him feel like he’s nothing. Like he’s not worthy of me. How could you? How could you be so cruel?”

Your mother’s calm facade begins to crumble under the weight of your words, but you don’t stop.

“You’ve destroyed the one thing that made me happy, the one person who truly matters to me. And for what? Your pride? Your precious image?” You shake your head, your voice now quieter but no less intense.

“You didn’t just hurt him, Mama. You hurt me. And I don’t think I can ever forgive you for that.” Your words hang in the air, heavy and final, as you stand there, chest heaving, tears streaming freely down your face.

Your mother looks at you, her expression frozen, as though struck too deeply to formulate a response. She simply stares, her composure faltering under the weight of your outburst.

Behind you, the others remain silent, their own hearts aching at the rawness of your pain. No one moves, no one speaks. They simply bear witness to the moment you finally let it all out... the moment your anguish and love refused to be silenced any longer.

//

Yoongi peeks his head around the door, his gaze landing on Jungkook, who is lying in the same position as always... curled on his side, back facing the door.

It’s been a week now, and nothing has changed. Jungkook remains silent, unresponsive, and withdrawn. At this point, Yoongi is just relieved he’s started eating again, even if it’s only small amounts.

"Hey, Kook..." Yoongi calls out softly, his tone hesitant, careful. He watches as Jungkook’s shoulders tense ever so slightly, a subtle acknowledgment that he’s heard his voice.

But still, Jungkook doesn’t move. His eyes remain fixed on the curtains ahead, their edges glowing faintly in the daylight. He feels like he’s become one with the bed, as though his body has fused with the mattress, drained of all energy, all will to do anything.

Every day, Yoongi tells him you’ve come by to see him, and every day Jungkook reacts the same way... he doesn’t move, doesn’t speak, doesn’t give in. It’s not that he doesn’t want to see you... he does. God, he does.

But the thought of facing you feels like scaling a mountain he’s not ready to climb. The humiliation, the pain, the anger... none of it has faded. He knows it wasn’t your fault, knows you didn’t know what was coming, but even so, the wounds are still too raw.

He knows he’s hurting you by shutting you out. He knows this isn’t the right way to handle things, that his silence is only amplifying the ache for both of you.

Yet he feels paralyzed, trapped in this endless loop of shame and sadness. He’s been telling himself he just needs more time, but deep down, he wonders if any amount of time will be enough to make him feel whole again.

By now, he should’ve been back in New York. His flight was almost a week ago. His work is piling up, responsibilities waiting, but none of it seems to matter.

His body feels heavy, his mind clouded with everything that’s gone wrong. Moving, talking, doing anything... it all feels impossible. The future feels distant, unreachable, while the present keeps pulling him under.

“Someone’s here to see you.” Yoongi says, breaking the silence.

Jungkook sighs deeply, his shoulders slumping further. He doesn’t need to guess who it is. He already knows. And just like every other day this past week, he mutters the same words. “I don’t want to see her.”

“It’s not her.” Yoongi says quickly. Jungkook freezes at that, the words catching him off guard. There’s a brief pause before he slowly turns his head, curiosity breaking through his haze. He shifts slightly on the bed, looking at Yoongi standing by the door.

Yoongi steps aside and pushes the door open wider. Jungkook’s breath catches when he sees who steps into the room. His eyes widen, and he’s off the bed in an instant, his movements uncharacteristically quick.

“Ma!” he exclaims, his voice trembling, filled with surprise and a touch of desperation.

His mother stands there with a soft, understanding smile, her presence warm and familiar, like a balm for his aching soul.

But Jungkook doesn’t smile back. He doesn’t speak again. He simply rushes towards her, crossing the room in a heartbeat, and throws his arms around her.

“Ma.” he whispers again, softer this time, his voice breaking. His arms tighten around her as he buries his face in her shoulder, his eyes squeezed shut. She holds him just as tightly, her hand gently stroking the back of his head.

//

"Here, eat this." Jungkook’s mother says gently, holding a plate of food as she sits on the bed, facing him. Her voice is soft but firm, carrying a motherly authority that Jungkook doesn’t dare defy. She picks up a spoonful of rice, bringing it to his lips.

"How can you go on like this, Kook? Not eating, not taking care of yourself..." She shakes her head softly, a small sigh escaping her.

Jungkook opens his mouth obediently, letting her feed him. He chews mechanically, his gaze fixed on her face. Her expression is calm, unchanging, the same serene smile he’s known all his life.

Her eyes seem to study him with quiet concern, yet there’s an unshakable strength behind them. It’s comforting in a way that almost makes his chest ache more.

It’s been twenty minutes since she walked into his room. Twenty minutes since he buried himself in her arms, his emotions spilling over for the first time in days.

Yet, he hasn’t uttered a word about the storm brewing in his heart. He doesn’t know how she got here, doesn’t know why she’s here. Did Yoongi call her? Does she know what happened? More importantly, does she know what he’s learned about her... about their past?

His thoughts swirl in a relentless loop. He keeps telling himself it can’t be true, that it doesn’t make sense. But the questions claw at him, relentless, demanding answers.

His mother lifts another spoonful to his mouth, and he opens instinctively. He chews slowly, his mind racing as he watches her. She seems... the same. The same gentle demeanor, the same patient smile.

Finally, after a few minutes of silence, Jungkook speaks, his voice hesitant and shaky. “Ma...”

She hums softly at his voice, acknowledging him but continuing to feed him. He swallows thickly, his throat tight. “I... I need to ask you something...” he says. The words feel heavy, like they’re scraping their way out of his chest. “Y/n’s mother... she told me a few things.”

Her hand pauses for a fraction of a second, the spoon hovering in the air, a few inches away from his mouth. But her expression doesn’t falter. She places the spoon back on the plate and looks at him directly, her calm gaze unwavering. “I know.” she says simply.

Jungkook’s heart skips a beat. Of course she knows. She always knows. But it doesn’t make it any easier to hear. He searches her face for a hint of denial, some sign that it’s not what he fears. “If... If you’re wondering if any of it is true...” her voice trails off, and she looks at him with an unspoken apology in her eyes.

His breath catches. He can feel the words coming before she even says them, but he’s still not ready. “They’re all true, Kook.” she says softly, her tone gentle.

Jungkook stares at his mother with wide eyes, the weight of her confession pressing down on him like a heavy storm cloud. His thoughts are a whirlwind of confusion and disbelief, and the depth of her words only leaves him more perplexed.

But before he can even form a coherent question, she continues, her tone soft but firm, as if determined to finally unburden herself after all these years.

“When we were in Busan....” she begins, her gaze drifting towards the window where sunlight filters through the newly drawn curtains, illuminating the room with a brightness Jungkook hadn’t seen in days.

“It was hard, Kook. Being a single mother… it wasn’t easy. People weren’t exactly kind, and landing a decent job was a struggle. But somehow, I managed to secure a position at a respectable company. It felt like a turning point.”

Jungkook listens intently, noticing how her voice wavers slightly. “Life became a little easier after that.” she continues.

“I could give you a proper allowance. I was able to afford your photography courses in high school. I even started saving money... something I never thought I’d be able to do. For the first time, I thought life was finally falling into place.”

She pauses, her lips curling into a bittersweet smile. “And maybe, in hindsight, I got a little greedy. I started thinking... now that we were stable, maybe it was time for me to think about myself for once. To find love again.”

Jungkook’s brow furrows slightly, confusion flickering across his features. She notices but presses on, her voice tinged with a mix of nostalgia and regret. “My manager at the time… he was a kind man. At least, I thought he was. I don’t know if he pitied me or if his feelings were genuine, but... one thing led to another, and we fell in love.”

She pauses, exhaling softly. “For a while, everything was perfect. You were thriving in school, my bank account wasn’t empty anymore, and for the first time in years, I felt like a woman again... like someone who was cared for. I even thought about introducing him to you, about telling you that I’d found someone who made me happy.”

Her expression darkens slightly, the corners of her lips twitching downward. “But all of that changed one night. I was working late, staying overtime to finish a project. I stepped out to the coffee room for a quick break, and on my way back, I heard noises coming from one of the conference rooms. It sounded... strange... like someone was yelling.”

Jungkook feels his chest tighten, the anticipation growing as his mother’s voice lowers, tinged with unease. “I got curious and peeked in. What I saw... I still... I still wish I hadn’t. My manager... the man I thought I wanted to build a future with... was berating an employee." she pauses, letting out a soft breath.

"But it wasn’t just yelling. It was violent. He was shoving the employee, slamming papers onto the desk, threatening them. At first, I thought it was a one-off, maybe a moment of stress. But the more I watched, the uglier it got. He was kicking their knees, smacking their face, saying vile things like they were less than human.”

Jungkook’s jaw clenches, his fists tightening at his sides. “Did you... did you saying anything back then?” he asks quietly.

“I should've... but I didn't because honestly, I wasn’t sure what I’d seen... ” she replies, her voice steady but heavy with the weight of the memory. “But something inside me told me it wasn’t an isolated incident. So I started paying attention. Watching him. Watching others in the company. And, Kook... it wasn’t just him.”

Her gaze drops to her hands, now gripping the edge of the plate in her lap. “It was everywhere around the company. Managers and higher-ups abusing their authority, taking advantage of their employees. Screaming at them, humiliating them, even threatening to ruin their careers. And worse... when I started digging deeper, I found financial misconduct, embezzlement, and exploitation.”

Jungkook feels the air grow thick with the gravity of her words. “I couldn’t just stand by and do nothing. So, I started collecting evidence... voice recordings, videos, emails. Anything I could use to expose them. And eventually... I did.”

She smiles faintly, but it’s laced with bitterness. “I went to the authorities anonymously and leaked everything. At first, it seemed like justice might prevail. The company took a massive hit, and several higher-ups were investigated. But it didn’t end there.”

“What... what happened?” Jungkook whispers, his voice trembling.

“The company was owned by a powerful, influential family and the scandal bothered them... a lot.” she explains, her tone growing quieter and Jungkook immediately knows who she's referring to.

“It didn’t take the company long to figure out who had leaked the information. And when they did... everything came back to me. The media had a field day. My name was dragged through the mud. People called me unprofessional, accused me of sleeping with my manager to gain favors. They twisted everything to make me look like the villain.”

Her voice cracks slightly, but she takes a deep breath, steadying herself. “I didn’t care about my reputation, Kook. But I cared about you. I was terrified that you’d be dragged into it, that kids at your school would bully you, that your life would change because of my actions. And I couldn’t let that happen. So, with what little savings I had left, I made the decision to leave. To move far away, to a place where I could give you a better future. It was hasty, yes, but looking back... I don’t regret it... at all. I’d do it again to protect you.”

Jungkook’s throat tightens, his chest aching as he watches the quiet strength in his mother’s face. Her sacrifices, her pain... it all begins to make sense, to sink in, piece by piece. “Ma... I didn’t know...” he murmurs, his voice breaking.

“I never wanted you to.” she replies, reaching out to brush a strand of hair from his face. “All I ever wanted was for you to have a life free from the burdens I carried. And if I had to do it all over again, Kook, I wouldn’t hesitate.”

Jungkook feels his vision blur with tears, and before he can stop himself, he leans forward, pulling his mother into a tight hug. His arms tremble as they wrap around her, and he buries his face into her shoulder, letting out the sobs he'd been holding back.

"I'm... I'm so sorry, Mom." he cries, his voice cracking under the weight of his emotions. His mother strokes his back gently, her touch soothing even as her own tears threaten to spill. "Oh, sweetheart, don’t be sorry." she chuckles, her voice soft yet steady. "You don’t need to apologize for anything."

A few quiet seconds pass. "You know... I really thought she was the one." Jungkook whispers. "But it... it just got too much. I tried so hard to be strong... no matter how much her mother tried to walk all over me." He pulls his mother closer, his grip tightening as his emotions spill over.

"I love her so much, Ma." he cries, burying his face against her shoulder. "But now... I just... I just want to go home." His voice drops to a quiet murmur.

His mother says nothing, holding him still, her presence grounding him as he clings to the one person who has always been there.

They stay like that, wrapped in an embrace that feels timeless. Jungkook feels like a child again, sheltered in the safety of his mother’s arms, a refuge against the storm raging in his heart. The room falls silent except for the soft hum of their breaths, the world outside momentarily forgotten.

Eventually, his mother shifts, gently pulling back just enough to meet his eyes. She cups his face in her hands, her thumbs brushing away the tears that streak his cheeks. Her lips curve into a soft, loving smile, though her eyes glisten.

"I may not have had much luck in love..." she begins, her tone tender. "But you, Kook… you don’t have to carry that fear. You’re not me."

Jungkook blinks at her, his sniffles the only sound breaking the stillness as she continues. "I know this is a lot to take in. And I know things have unfolded in ways neither of us ever wanted." she says.

"But you’re stronger than you think. And you deserve to let yourself love, even if it feels terrifying." She pauses, letting her words settle. Then, after a moment, she smiles again, her voice soft but purposeful.

"You know… Y/n was the one who called me and brought me here." she reveals. Jungkook’s brows knit in surprise, but he stays silent, his eyes searching hers. "That girl… she cares about you so much, Jungkook. More than I think you even realize."

Her smile falters slightly, replaced by a solemn look. "I know it’s hard." she says. "Facing her, facing everything after what’s happened... it’s not easy. And knowing the challenges her family brings into the picture… it must feel overwhelming."

Jungkook lowers his gaze, his hands curling into fists in his lap. His mother reaches out, gently covering one of his hands with her own, her touch warm and reassuring. "But shutting her out, ignoring her... that will only hurt her." she says. "And it’ll hurt you even more."

Her words feel like a lifeline, cutting through the fog clouding his mind. He looks up at her, his heart aching at the sincerity in her expression. There’s no judgment in her eyes... only love, hope, and unwavering belief in him.

"You don’t have to worry about me anymore." she continues, her voice soft but firm. "I’ll be okay, Kook. I’ve made my peace with the past."

She leans forward and presses a soft kiss to his forehead, lingering for a moment before pulling back. "So do what your heart tells you." she whispers, her voice filled with gentle conviction.

"If you still want to go back, I’ll understand. But I still think you should go and talk to her, before we go."

Jungkook closes his eyes, letting her words sink in, and for the first time in days, he feels the faintest flicker of clarity, a spark of hope amid the chaos.

//

The cool evening breeze brushes past your hair as you gaze down at the glimmering water, the rippling reflections of streetlights dancing on the surface of the tranquil sincheon river. The world around you feels quiet, yet your chest churns with restlessness.

Jungkook had finally reached out. He had called. And you had begged him to meet you. You needed to see him because frankly, you were practically unraveling without him.

Now, here you are, waiting by the walking trail that winds along the river. A soft sigh escapes your lips as you lift your gaze up to the sky. The sun has long set, but its remnants linger, smearing the horizon with hues of violet and amber, like a bruise spreading across the heavens.

You're nervous, scared even. You don’t know what you’re going to say or what he might have to tell you. You just hope that his mother, whom you had called in desperation, was able to ease some of the burden you knew he was carrying.

Your mind is a chaotic swirl of emotions, tangled in fear and anticipation but the sound of approaching footsteps halts the train of your thoughts. You whip around, your heart leaping to your throat. And there he is. Your boyfriend.

His presence seems to anchor you and unmoor you at once. Your breath catches as you take in his appearance... he looks drained, exhausted. His eyes are shadowed by evident dark circles, and his shoulders droop with a weariness that tugs painfully at your chest.

All you want to do is pull him close, to hold him, to protect him. Without hesitation, you do just that.

"Baby... oh my god." you breathe out, your voice trembling as you jog up to him. Wrapping your arms around his frame, you cling to him tightly, pressing your face against his chest. His familiar scent, warm and grounding, fills your senses. "I missed you." you whisper.

His arms move just as quickly, circling your waist with the same desperate fervor, holding you as though letting go might shatter him. "I missed you too." he murmurs, his voice low and rough.

The warmth of his breath grazes the curve of your neck, and in that moment, something inside you unravels... a knot of fear and longing dissolves into the solace of his embrace.

The world around you melts away, leaving only the sound of the river lapping gently and the steady beat of his heart beneath your ear.

The two of you stay entwined in that embrace and minutes stretch into something timeless, and slowly, reluctantly, you open your eyes and carefully pull away. Your gaze meets his, and the weight of your emotions crashes over you like a tidal wave. Tears spring to your eyes, unbidden.

“Kook... I’m sorry.” you begin, your voice trembling as your lip quivers. “I’m sorry for everything. I don’t know what my mom was thinking—” Your words catch, a sob escaping your chest, breaking through the dam you’ve tried to hold steady.

“Hey...” Jungkook breathes out gently, his hands coming up to cradle your face. His thumbs brush away your tears, though they continue rolling down your cheek. “It’s okay.” he whispers, his voice steady yet tender, a soothing balm to your frayed nerves.

But you shake your head, overwhelmed. “I’m sorry for everything, Kook. I really am.” you choke out, your voice cracking under the weight of your regret.

“It’s not your fault.” he murmurs, his dark eyes searching yours, shimmering with his own restrained emotions. “Shhh...” he hushes you, pulling you close again.

His embrace is solid, a haven, and you wonder how someone can carry so much grace. Even now, when he should be the one comforted, he holds you together.

The tears spill freely as you bury yourself in his arms, your body trembling against his. Jungkook’s hands move gently along your back, his touch rhythmic and calming. “This past week... it’s been so hard, Kook. I missed you so much.” you manage between sobs, your voice cracking.

Jungkook feels his heart splintering, guilt threading its way through him. He tightens his hold on you, his own breath hitching as he battles the storm inside. He knows he hurt you by shutting you out, but at the time, it felt like the only way he could cope. He was drowning too.

He pulls back slightly, just enough to see your face. His hand stays warm against your damp cheek, his thumb gliding across the soft curve of your cheekbone.

When your teary eyes lock with his, something magnetic draws you closer. You tilt your head upward, closing your eyes, and press your lips to his in a kiss that feels like both an apology and a plea.

Jungkook responds instantly, his lips meeting yours with an intensity that leaves no room for doubt. His hands anchor you in place, one cradling your jaw while the other settles at your waist.

The kiss deepens, raw and full of unspoken emotions, and you can feel in the way his lips move against yours just how much he’s missed you, too.

When he finally pulls back, breathless, his chest rises and falls rapidly. “I’m sorry I shut you out...” he exhales.

You shake your head quickly. “No, Kook. You had every reason to. What my mom did... it was unforgivable. She had no right to come at you like that... and... and disrespect you like that.”

Stepping back slightly, you look up at him, your hands still resting lightly on his chest. “I had no idea she’d been scheming all of this behind my back. When I brought you here, I just... I wanted to introduce you to my family because you’re so important to me. You’re everything to me.” Your voice softens, but your words are laced with an ache that refuses to go away.

“I should’ve seen it coming, though. The first time she was rude to you in the kitchen, I should’ve taken the hint. I should’ve warned her to stay out of this.”

He exhales deeply, the sound heavy with a mix of resignation and lingering pain. Slowly, he moves past you as he edges closer to the riverbank.

"I knew she never liked me..." he starts, his voice low, carrying the weight of a truth he’s held in for too long. "It was so obvious. She didn’t even try to hide it." A humorless chuckle escapes his lips, but it’s laced with pain, not mirth.

You follow him quietly, closing the distance, until you’re standing right next to him. The cold bites at your cheeks, but the ache in his voice hurts even more.

Together, you gaze at the dark river ahead, the water shimmering faintly under the moonlight and the surrounding streetlights.

"A part of me understood her..." he continues, turning his head slightly towards you. His eyes, glistening but guarded, meet yours for a fleeting moment before he looks away. "She had every right to be worried. I mean… I’m dating her daughter. Of course, she’d be protective."

You hold his gaze briefly but remain silent, sensing he needs to say more.

"Maybe she doubted my intentions..." he admits, his tone soft but raw, like he’s peeling back layers of himself for you. "Maybe she thought I could never be good enough for you." His shoulders rise in a small shrug, his expression distant.

"All of that… it’s valid. I could accept it, you know? I would’ve tried. Tried to prove myself to her, even if it felt impossible."

He stops, his jaw tightening as he stares at the water. The moonlight catches on his profile, illuminating the subtle tremor in his lips as he fights to hold himself back from brutally cracking open.

"But when she brought up my mother..." His voice wavers, and he turns his face away, his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows hard. "She said she didn’t want to be linked to a family like mine. And that…" He exhales sharply, his shoulders slumping under the weight of the memory. "That broke me."

You feel your chest tighten at his words, your heart aching for the pain he’s trying so hard to contain. He doesn’t need to explain further because you already understand what he's trying to say.

"Kook..." you call out softly, inching closer and placing a gentle hand on his arm. "She was so so wrong... so wrong. And it wasn’t fair to you at all."

He turns his head slightly, his gaze flickering to yours, the sadness in his eyes now tinged with something else... perhaps relief at being seen, or maybe the fact that he can finally open up.

"And I’m done." you say, your voice firmer now, though it still trembles at the edges. "I’m done making excuses for her. For her actions, for the way she treated you, for the way she handled things."

You reach out with your other hand, cupping his jaw and guiding his face towards you. His eyes, meet yours fully now. "Kook..." you whisper, your breath hitching as his name falls from your lips.

"Your past, what your mom did, my reputation… none of that matters to me. It never has, and it never will." Your thumb gently grazes his cheek, and you see the tension in his jaw loosen, ever so slightly. "All that matters to me is you."

His lips part as if to respond, but the words seem to fail him. You press on, your voice shaking with sincerity.

"You matter so much to me..." you confess, your heart pounding as you take another step closer, until there’s no space left between you. "And I’m ready to leave all of this behind... I'm ready to walk out of everything if it means I can be with you. None... of this matters without you."

He looks down at you, his brows furrowing as he tries to process the enormity of your words. His chest rises and falls heavily under your touch, his breath warm against the cool night air.

"Let’s start over." you say, your voice soft but resolute. "Let’s start a new life together in New York... our home. That’s where we belong, Kook. That’s where I belong. With you."

Your words hang in the air, suspended between the two of you, and you can feel the shift in him... his walls crumbling under the weight of what you're saying.

"Let's elope, Kook."

<- part 6 // final ->

series masterlist

taglist: @mirinaeii @taetaecatboy @tsukiesimp @lovingkoalaface @taekrve @jaytheatiny @loverofannabeth @jaerisdiction @whoa-jo @parkinglot-nights @reneeblack6230 @rrosiitas @shellyyy177 @majesticjung-97 @wobblewobble822

[thydungeongal]

Hi, same anon obsessed with morality.

Okay, I admit that my ask was a bit too emotional because non-evil original roleplaying games exist even in sword and sorcery style (World of Dungeons and Oracle are some I would recommend), and existence of Gondal setting testifies that it's not a male thing in any way.

However, my probably naive concern goes a little further - I don't play D&D, but I use it for monsters and settings. It's hard to invent absolutely everything from a scratch, you know? But this leads to an ethical concern I have - doing this is still feeding into D&D hegemony and embracing Gygax's and Arneson's rotten legacy (though I am starting to think that Gygax was a lesser evil, holy fuck). And let's not fool ourselves here - derivative games like Pathfinder or Knave are still their legacy (though maybe Cairn isn't, I am not sure).

So like, what are options of games that are generic fantasy that have a lot of monsters and settings to steal and that are also both not "D&D but different" and aren't objectively evil?

I know literally a handful of candidates, so I am asking your followers to share. And no, Warhammer isn't such game.

What I remember is:

Fantasy Age is not without a sin, but it's presented as "you can depict these demi-humans as equal people or you can be a hitler, it's up to you", so progress I guess?

Jackals is built on OpenQuest and is pretty generic if you exclude it being about bronze age, but I remember some potentially creepy details of how it treats demi-humans

Blue Rose looks the most morally fine, but it's not exactly generic

Lightmaster is ugh, because it doesn't have inherently evil demi-humans, but it has inherently different demi-humans who are always savages, so it's a thin ice (though otherwise it's a blast)

D6 Fantasy doesn't really have monsters in core book, but there are probably third-party bestiaries that may even not be vile

GURPS does have bestiaries of fantasy creatures, but I don't know anything about their morality

IDK about rolemaster, but you said that it's not good.

So like, which extremely ethical non-OSR heartbreaker that was published ever am I missing? Should I look into Das Schwarze Auge, or does it suck the same way?

Ultimately I think you're thinking about this too much to your own detriment. It's good to be aware of the fact that lots of (especially older) fantasy stuff does carry some fucked up expectations and approach it with a critical eye so you don't end up replicating it, but if you become single-minded in your pursuit of the perfect, unproblematic fantasy RPG you're not only setting yourself up for disappointment but also denying yourself a lot of stuff that's good but flawed.

Anyway, not a game but a supplement for OSR games, but Skerples' Monster Overhaul is pretty good in this regard and does this via simply accepting the revolutionary paradigm of "orcs are just some guys."

Another game out of the left field, Chivalry & Sorcery is really surprising in this regard, because it's the sort of game that gives off vibes of being written by "the presence of women in a medieval setting is extremely inaccurate" types, but the authors actually make a point of saying that player enjoyment and comfort should always take precedence over adherence to historicity when it comes to issues like players wanting to play women or queer characters. But it's in its treatment of orcs and trolls (and as far as I've understood, dwarves and elves too, but I haven't read that supplement yet) where it gets really cooking. Chivalry & Sorcery is a game written by medieval history nerds and they wanted their game's worldbuilding to adhere to a medieval European paradigm. So when it came to adding orcs into the game the authors asked "how would orcs fit into the worldview of a medieval Christian?"

The answer is that just as medieval Christian philosophers mused that if cynocephali or those guys who only had one big foot were to exist then surely they must be just some guys, orcs would also have to be just some guys. This means that they would be human in terms of having been created by God and tracing descent to Adam and Eve and also could receive the eucharist and be saved.

Anyway, all of which is to say that the middle ages were woke,

[jinxquickfoot]

So I finished my Age of Ultron rewatch. It's been a couple of years since I last saw it, and here are some random thoughts I had on it:

Things I will maintain I like about this movie:

It has some of my favorite jokes in the MCU, and they're usually the little moments. The little nod of validation Rhodey makes after getting a laugh at his "Boom! You looking for this?" story. Clint telling Steve he's no match for Ultron and Steve replying with, "Thanks, Barton". Clint's "Yeah, you better run" after Pietro has long since disappeared with Wanda, there are loads of them.

I like Vision, Wanda and Pietro. Despite being secondary characters with not a huge amount of screen time, Wanda and Pietro feel like real people with real backstories, and Paul Bettany is wonderful the first time we see him as Vis.

It's the only movie we get to see the Original 6 hang out as friends.

I love that Fury randomly shows up in the middle and is like "let me make a sandwich while we discuss how not to let the world end also by the way hi Tony I really care about you"

Other casual appearances of other MCU characters, something that is so lacking Phase 4 onwards. Sam being at the party and Thor going to Selvig for help makes the world feel lived in.

RDJ's never dropped the ball as Tony but his performance really stuck out to me here, god he's good

Steve and Thor have multiple moments of teaming up and working together, what an underrated duo

Hulk vs Iron Man suit inside an Iron Man Suit fight

The Avengers do their best to evacuate Sokovia before Ultron attacks, which does not excuse the amount of damage caused there, but I do think is a plot point everyone forgets about (myself included)

And things that annoy me (skipping over the stuff everyone talks about like the Natasha/Bruce plot):

I hate how Joss Whedon writes Steve, both here and in Avengers. He only feels like Steve when he's being given jokes, otherwise he is so self-serious and stiff, the core of Steve is his heart and it is nowhere to be found in this movie

The movie spends so long setting up character arcs that feel promising and have no payoff. What is the point of Laura telling Clint the Avengers need him if he's going to retire at the end of the movie. Steve has several references to finding home in a way that doesn't go anywhere (Until Endgame, I guess). Don't get me started on Natasha.

It's trying so hard to have a theme but it never says anything unique. Bruce, Tony, Natasha and Vision all refer to themselves as monsters. Ultron decides that the Avengers are the bad guys. Steve has a speech all about proving they're not the monsters Ultron says they are. Based on WHAT? What is the message of this movie?? That the Avengers are better than the evil AI who wants to kill everyone?

(I half-feel there was a previous draft where Clint was their heart, or something, or he died and they were like whelp Phil Coulson 2.0 let's go avenge him, and the random pieces of that are still floating around the script with nowhere to go)

NO ONE is remotely concerned enough when their friends are getting hurt (maybe just the hurt/comfort lover in me, but still.) Natasha comes across as the only person who cares when Clint sustains a life-threatening injury. No one seems to be bothered that Natasha is being held captive by a psychotic supervillain. Tony shows more emotion over a fictional future where they die than when someone is actually in danger.

They really could have had a premise where they weren't allowed to access technology at all and could have gone retro with everything and they didn't and that just feels like a wasted opportunity. Clint and Natasha digging out old spy tech. Steve being like "Yes! This is familiar! I got this!" Tony making genius inventions out of tech from fifty years ago. Come on, it was right there.

[histrions]

hi! ♡ this is neve ( she/her ) and i've brought to you blush boutique's owner, nam yeonji. since she's been in ansong for twenty five years, you best believe she has done a lot of things since then! feel free to read her about and memories here. more ( like, a lot more ) details on her can also be found under the cut. and before i forget, drop a like on this post if you're up for some plotting! ( ps. i'm so happy to be here and please do expect me to be very annoying in your ims soon! )

ansong

tried dropping all of her items down at the building's lost and found. sure, she had that familiarity in her heart but what the hell would she do with a children's make-up kit? bffr.

she spent ten whole years studying at ansong university, majoring in fashion design, creative writing, then visual arts. still likes painting and reading to this day. (her subconscious was probably pushing her to do so because she barely graduated high school in her waking life.)

about fifteen years ago, she opened blush boutique and the rest is history. thanks to it, she was able to unlock her first core memory too. (her first collection was inspired by the color palette of the aforementioned children's make-up kit.)

purposefully moved to floor #09 unit #09 to try and figure out what her "nine" notecard means. (spoiler alert: nothing good.)

for now, the only thing she remembers of her past is that she was very close to her grandmother.

personality

looks like a bitch, sounds like a bitch, is a bitch. i was originally going to make her less complicated but where's the fun in that!

success has always been the most important thing to her and it's no different now; take a look at her degrees or her boutique. pushes herself hard and pushes others even harder.

the beautiful thing about her is that no matter how cold or intimidating she may be, she mostly just doesn't know how to interact with people. she doesn't necessarily want to be rude, but she also doesn't care enough to apologize and try harder when she fucks up... so, you know. she sucks but not that much.

on the bright side, she's nice to party with! just don't work at blush or get too close to her and you will be fine! i think.

in my head, she has the same energy as that one annoying coworker who comments on everything you do and spreads gossip for fun. i support women's rights and wrongs.

another slightly concerning thing she does is people-watching. doesn't try to be subtle about it either. if you think she's judging you, she most likely is.

but she's not all bad! (please don't give up on her pleaseplaeasepelapselease)

very creative. puts a lot of thought and effort into everything. extremely loyal, both to her craft and to those she loves. doesn't lie or pretend; always very straightforward about her intentions. if you're her friend, you will never feel unappreciated! you will be showered in gifts and that's a threat. just don't expect words of affirmation from her because she doesn't have the slightest idea how to do that.

connection ideas

any antagonistic plots, obviously! she called your outfit ugly, stole your cat, hit on your boyfriend/girlfriend at a bar, etc.

rivals. maybe another business owner who gets on her nerves.

that one unlikely friend who is all "i can fix her" and it grosses her out.

if you need a low maintenance friend, you have found her! your muse could ghost her for years and she wouldn't even notice.

anyone who is into art in general! if you nerd out with her, you might see a better side of her, just saying!

let's give her another weird ex! she can't remember the one from her waking life so it's okay. <3

or anything else you want. i'm all ears!

and now, onto the part you're probably curious about!

trigger warnings: brief mentions of abuse (child, domestic, and alcohol), depression, suicidal ideation, and murder.

life and death

let me set the scene: late 70s, jeju city. baby yeonji's parents, living their best life thanks to grandma yeonji, so much so that they even named their only child after her. thing is, her grandmother was one of the most successful actresses of her time, which allowed the family to live luxuriously.

naturally, this privilege also came with its own set of expectations. her grandmother and mother were both adamant that yeonji goes down the acting route herself.

(this was mostly to make up for the fact that her mother never succeeded as an actress. passing down generational trauma, the tragedy of being a daughter, etcetera. you know how it goes.)

so yeonji became a child actress, constantly missing school just to keep up with her work. by her early 20s, she started to win awards of her own. acted in a lot of romance k-dramas, which she absolutely hated.

her then boyfriend (who is unnamed for plot purposes but also because i hate his ass) proposed to her at an award ceremony (way to make it about yourself, buddy) and the two got married soon after.

long story short, their relationship turned really abusive and yeonji started drinking. she would also frequently call suicide hotlines as she felt like she had lost control over her life. (or that she never had any to begin with.)

just a minute before the clock struck midnight on new years' eve in '99, yeonji had an argument with her husband and was pushed off a balcony. (not so fun fact: the nine notecard refers to the year and the number of floors she fell down.)

currently thinking about how both her grandmother and mother outlived her but.. that is a heartache for another day..

if you read this far, have this lore accurate yeonji depiction:

[blujayonthewing]

3, 6, 13, 15 for all the gnoooooomes!!

yaaaaaaaay :D

3. What was the first thing you decided on, the character's name, appearance, personality or their role in the story?

Actually for all my full PC gnomes, it's hard to separate 'role' from 'personality'-- they both kind of came up together for all three of them!

Idri was built around the concept of 'what would sleight of hand be like in a world with real magic', so 'this person would be a rogue' and 'this person would have this kind of personality' went hand in hand in answering that-- she learned all her rogue skills as a magician in a circus, so she's the kind of person who does flashy fake magic in circuses, etc, haha. ALTHOUGH, as for narrative role in a dnd campaign, I had envisioned her as the kind of person who THINKS she's the leader and the main character but is actually a little too young/ inexperienced/ too much of a goofball to REALLY be the leader of anything, but then everyone else built, like, reserved absolute fishes-out-of-water and she ended up being the de facto party leader for real lmao

Melliwyk's always been intended to be That Kooky Mad Scientist Side Character, which is kind of inherently broad-strokes a personality and a role in the story at the same time, lol. The premise of her campaign included lost arcane knowledge and technology, so I wanted specifically a wizard Kooky Mad Scientist Character to engage with that, so mechanical role in the campaign/ character class in DnD was pretty inbuilt there, as well.

For Felix, the role I wanted him to play is intrinsic to the personality I wanted him to have; since his original campaign was a reboot in a setting I'd been in before, I already knew I wanted my new character to be the kind of person who's really curious about everything and will proactively get himself involved in Mysteries and Conspiracies and Cult Bullshit and Spy Nonsense, because there was a lot of that in this campaign's original run and my OG PC didn't give a shit about any of it and it was super frustrating for me to play, lmao. I mean, I guess there are a lot of ways to build The Snoop personality wise, but 'wants to find stuff out' is ultimately the core of both what he does in the story and who he is as a person

Indigo's the only combo breaker! I designed them around 'star druid ship's navigator would be pretty cool' and went from there, lmao. Unusually for me, I think I even did a lot of their aesthetic design before even approaching settling on what I thought their personality might be like-- they're one of my topmost Rule Of Cool led blorbos tbh. Like okay here's my pirate with starry hair and freckles and a glowing golden eyeball and a magical girl transformation that gives them a gun that shoots comets, and NOW we can figure out what kind of person fits inside this sick empty vessel we've constructed, haha.

This got really long! the rest under the cut!

6. What was the thought process behind their appearance? Did you go mostly for the aesthetic or are there other reasons they look the way they do?

For all of them, I start first and foremost with gnomes' general appearance as presented in 5e: they typically have brown skin, light hair, brightly colored eyes, and big noses, so I keep all those things in mind when I'm designing them. 'Not just making the same guy again' has also been a baseline consideration for every gnome after Idri, although I guess 'avoiding sameface' maybe goes without saying, lol.

Idri's a rogue, but she's also bright, cheerful, and flashy; her armor is black, but she otherwise favors bright jewel tones and gold. She's theatrical but she's also extremely active and mobile, so her everyday wear is stylish but comfortable and uncomplicated. Her leather armor is styled like a tailcoat as a nod to her history as a magician. Physically her small trim stature and pixie cut are meant to evoke a kind of peter pan energy and playfulness-- she should look, essentially, like a sprite who sneaks into your house to tie your shoelaces together. Also it's worth noting that I gave her little cartoon squirrel buckteeth for ??? reasons, probably just because it looked cute, but then one(1) other friend also coincidentally gave their gnome bucky teeth and now They All Have Big Incisors as a matter of personal worldbuilding lmao, so, thanks Idri!

A lot of Melliwyk's design was centered around the trinket I rolled for her-- a nightcap which gives the wearer pleasant dreams. I already knew she had an affliction that makes her fall asleep suddenly and completely at random, so I decided she's also chronically plagued with nightmares so she wears this nightcap literally all the time. I thought it would be funny for it to be oversized for her, and for her to tell people that it's a normal gnomish hood because the truth is a little embarrassing, so she builds all her outfits around it. So her hairstyle is designed not to be at odds with a 24/7 hood, and I tried a few color palettes for the hood based on what colors I thought would make sense for a night cap and then built the rest of her palette around that, haha. As for the rest of her wardrobe, her style is very pragmatic-- I still want her look to say 'wizard', but always with wearability and practicality in mind. She does a lot of tinkering and inventing, so her sleeves are cropped and her outer robes typically lack hanging or bell sleeves, to keep her hands free and unimpeded. Likewise her robes are constructed to allow free leg range of motion because she does a lot of field work/ adventuring and spends a lot of time running around. Her knickerbockers evoked old timey pith-helmet-type explorers to me (and, again, loose around the knees for range of motion), but also I just think they're cute 😌 She's got a little bit of a mom figure and a soft tummy because she's not (until recently) particularly active but she also never remembers or bothers to eat :I

The first sketch I ever did for 'gnome inquisitive rogue?' was inspired heavily by Snufkin Moomins, and not a LOT of that has remained but a lot of the [gesturing vaguely] vibe for his look started there, haha. Physically, I wanted him to be pointy and a bit foxy to get that 'sneaky little guy who sticks his nose in things' vibe across, and he dresses in a sort of shabby oversized coat mostly to look unassuming and to hopefully escape most people's notice. Really a lot of the rest is pure aesthetic! Fingerless gloves feel roguey to me, and the scarf just Felt Correct for him? And his dangle earrings were literally 'I keep giving all my gnomes plain hoop earrings I have GOT to do different ones this time' dfkjghdf. But in general most of his design at least keeps practicality in mind-- it's understated, not likely to attract attention or be memorable, and either easy to move in (including running, climbing, jumping over things, sliding down things, and squeezing through tight spaces) or-- like the coat-- easy to quickly discard. He's wiry because he's essentially always underfed :'D

Indigo is aaaaall aesthetic, babeyyyy!! They dress like a pirate because they're a pirate! They have big gold hoop earrings because they're a pirate!! They have white hair and freckles and deep deep blue eyes because they're a circle of stars druid and also because those look great against their dark skin! Their star map is their false eye, which is a solid gold sphere, because it's inspired by the map in treasure planet (because it's fuckin cool) and because making it also be their eyeball is fuckin cool! Their archer form gives them a gun made of starlight because that whips ass! I USUALLY build PCs from a much more grounded space so I had a lot of fun designing Indigo, lmao

13. Do you have a voice claim for the character? What do you imagine the character sounds like?

God I wish I could think of A Character who sounded like Idri so I could go 'kind of like this', lmao. She was my second dnd character ever, so her voice is just Me Doing A Gnome Voice, which, first of all, set an annoying precedent when I ended up playing a bunch more gnomes and then had to invent different gnome voices so they didn't all sound like Idri :'D She.... okay, bear with me. She doesn't sound like Tom Kenny. But the thing Tom Kenny is doing with his voice when he's voicing spongebob kind of sounds like the same thing I'm doing with my voice when I'm voicing Idri. Like, it's coming from the same part of the throat? Like you know that clip where he's talking about how the spongebob voice came from his overhearing a dwarf actor complaining about the christmas elf gig? If I quoted that bit with my vocal cords it'd probably sound like Idri, uh, if that makes any sense. God I should just bite the bullet and do voice clips for some of these guys dfgjhdfkj

Melliwyk had to have A Gnome Voice to follow the precedent I accidentally set for myself, but she couldn't have the SAME gnome voice, so I based her sound on Gilda Radner as Emily Litella-- although her cadence and manner of speech have since developed into distinctly their own thing

Felix has yet a third gnome voice lol, a bit lower and softer than the girls. He generally speaks softly, and kind of alternates between pausing and then saying things all in a rush. Honestly I've still kind of struggled to nail down his voice and manner of speech, I WISH I could pin down a good voice claim to at least give me a solid starting point like I did for Mel :'D

INDIGO, HONESTLY, I've played once and my voice for him at the time was all over the damn place, I'm still not entirely sure what I actually want him to sound like aaahah ^^;;

15. Have you ever made a moodboard for them?

Kiiiind of ? I don't really do moodboards as such, but a lot of the stuff I put in their Insp tags are things that could go onto a moodboard, and their purerefs have a lot of visual references for stuff like 'outfits that make me think of them' or 'gear that feels like their vibe' without being strictly literal image references, so there's a bit of defacto moodboarding going on in their reference files, lol. HONESTLY maybe I should, I always keep OC stuff so scattered hither and yon it'd probably be helpful to be able to Look At A Collage and get a more holistic sense of a guy in one go :Ia

ask about my OCs! :D

[dededaio]

alright, so, to go along with my battle system concept for a kirby rpg, i also started thinking the story. it was pretty much inevitable. so what do you think i cooked up?

i think it's inevitable that first kirby rpg should tackle the mirror world. it's going to be either a completely original story (pretty plausible move) or something that has roots in concepts from the mainline series but also can stand on it's own without confusing new players.

the mirror world is perfect for this because while it has just enough substance and history to provide decent backstory for some stuff in an rpg, it's also underdeveloped and vague enough to work as pretty much original setting and source for new characters. it will please nerds like me and you who care about kirby canon, while also will be accessible to newcomers, since it's easy to "reintroduce" such in-depth concepts in more story-driven game without it feels obtrusive or pace-breaking.

at any rate, my idea for the story of the game basically lies in two distinct halves. one of the main appeals of the kirby narratives in mainline platformers is that they always have some sort of twist, and i don't want an rpg to be an exception to this.

game's initial conflict is centered around dream land and surrounding areas on the planet popstar being invaded by the inhabitants of the mirror world. the game begins at the celebration of the day of kirby's arrival in dream land. this is where kirby, while relaxed, can interact with a lot of future party members and important npcs. one of the visitors at the party is taranza, who brought some sort of gift to the occasion.

only it turns out that this is not actually taranza we know and love, but DARK taranza, an evil doppelganger of the spider we all know and love, who brought an elongated version of the corrupted dimensional mirror. it just so happens that all cast members and a lot of minor and major npcs happen to look in the mirror which turns out to be a huge mistake... they all get reflected and their shadow, dark counterparts emerge, with the only goal in mind: to replace them in the world that isn't corrupted the same way the mirror world is.

dark taranza and his cronies (which include the likes of dark meta knight, shadow dedede (shade) and dark bandana dee to name a few) seem to be the main antagonists of the game and they pretty much are for the first half of it. but as you liberate areas the shadow folk from the mirror takes over you slowly but surely learn that truth, that they are being manipulated. a lot of shadow people aren't actually as bad as the first impression might've suggested, they are deeply flawed and broken people, but they do still have some compassion and goodness deep down inside of a lot of them.

truth comes out, shadow and dark versions of the characters aren't inherently "evil", they simply reflect their worst qualities. but just as the main versions could grow past them into better versions of themselves, so are shadow versions. after the fight with dark taranza, we learn an awful truth, he's been manipulated by greater evil.

the corruption in the mirror materialized in the being far worse than even dark mind from kirby and the amazing mirror was, turning into the lord of judgement, person who embodies all sins of people who ever looked into the mirror. he set his sights on taking over the world beyond what being trapped within broken magical mirror could offer, so he used vulnerable shadow folk as his pawns. however, it's too late, everything is played right into his hands, a lot of people on popstar looked into the mirror, feeding him their worst qualities and sins, making him stronger, he gets out of the mirror and slowly but surely starts taking over the planet, corrupting it bit by bit.

the only way to reverse it is to go into the mirror world proper and destroy his core, this way, the mirror's corruption and the lord himself might go away forever. there is however is also danger of the shadow folk disappearing too, as they are also by-product of the mirror's corruption.

basically, yeah. something like that. basic crux of the plot not mentioning all character arcs of the main party, side-quests and other details. this is just to get the gist across.

[gobs-o-cs]

"We have to get back... We have to warn them! We can't be too late! ...Please. Please tell us that this was not how it ends!"

Malachite

(He/Him)

Warforged Warlock, Great Old One Patron, Pact of the Talisman

Neutral

Courtier Background (Emissary)

Prior to the Backstory Event that Led to Making a Warlock Pact:

Cuprite

"On behalf of the esteemed City-State of Hells'-Haven, I thank you for your hospitality in receiving this envoy and express our most sincere wishes that we can together forge an enthusiastic, efficacious, and enduring partnership."

Dice Set #74 - Oxi-Copper

----------------------------------------------------

What can I say? Inspiration is a fickle thing. I'll take it when I can get it, but I've definitely been slacking on making characters or minis. Definitely fell deep into a jigsaw puzzle vortex.

But, anyway, a post on bluesky inspired me to go back and remake a character's mini into a nice, proper one with all of the new features at my disposal.

Malachite's a character who in some form or another has been rattling around in my head for, like, something like 15 years now. I originally made the Warforged Warlock for 4th Edition - He was actually a counterpart of sorts to Morana.

For my 4th Edition characters, I was putting together the vague idea of them all being on the same team of mercenaries - If I were to ever DM a campaign, they'd be available for the PCs' party to hire/bring along for missions to shore up any weaknesses they had, to act as quest-givers (especially side-quest-type stuff), and in-general to give them NPC friends to care about (the plot hook I had in-mind would begin with the party being recruited into this merc group).

Actually, if I ever do run a campaign instead of just writing a story, I think I might still approach things with that whole setup in-mind.

Anyway, a trope I'd noticed in many media is that groups/teams/parties only ever seemed to have one member of each type/class - Maybe a beefy-type-fighter and agile-type-fighter, but that was the most overlap that seemed to exist, and usually that'd be more like a fighter and a ranger, or a fighter and a barbarian.

So what I wanted to do was have two Warlocks both as part of the core crew - Because the mercenary group liked each other and wanted to work with their friends, rather than shrewdly looking at their roster and rejecting someone because "they already had one of those".

While HeroForge still doesn't have the very niche ideas I have in-mind for the ultimate vision I have for Mal, the new options are certainly a step up from my first attempt at making a mini for him back in 2020.

In my vision, he doesn't have normal-looking horns, per se - He's got two metal slats attached to his faceplate, in place of horns - The Tieflings that made him did make him to resemble them, but still more stylized. Also, the green "hair" on his head is meant to be an accumulation of Old Man's Beard lichen, which started growing on his immobilized body while he was stuck in involuntary stasis, caught halfway in a time-bubble (hence the patina on his right side)

The reason for his making a pact, and the reason for his persona change is that he spent over 20 years stuck with his body and mind half-in-half-out of magical fallout, basically. And the source of the eldritch magic eventually reached out to his literally-fractured mind, and that aspect of his personality - An embodiment of his utter desperation and outrage, was the one to form the pact.

Finally freeing himself from the stasis effect stabilized his mind for the most part, but in terms of which facets of himself that are driving the actions now, there was a shift from his normal self to the part of him that made the pact. It's not a clear distinct-personas Dissociative Identity Disorder thing - There's no different-alters-taking-control-at-different-times switching - Malachite and Cuprite are the same person, just two of many voices that would debate ideas back and forth in his head, same as pretty much anyone else does. Malachite ultimately isn't any less reasonable than Cuprite - More guarded and paranoid, more affected by trauma, certainly. But still essentially Cuprite.

Nevertheless, learning that he was framed for causing the explosion of the strange magic that trapped him and destroyed a fortress, and that this incident was used by the other nation as a justification to invade and destroy his home City-State will definitely not sit well with him. His people - Both in the sense of the other residents of Hells'-Haven in-general, and his Warforged kin - Those who survived the invasion have once again been scattered to the winds. Hells'-Haven was a center of invention and research, and they had found ancient Warforged in tombs and revived them from their dormant states, which led to the development of techniques for creating new ones. So, the Warforged had their new home amongst the exiled Tieflings (and others) of the Haven.

He wishes to return to his service as an emissary of his people, which means finding whatever surviving leadership he can, if there's indeed anyone left to find. All the while his new "friend" whispers promises of vengeance justice in his mind.

[infectedhau]

So there's a new Dragon Age coming out, and as someone who's owned the first three for literal decades at this point without ever touching them, I figured I'd get caught up

My broad thoughts: this is the first time I've seen a franchise go through puberty (disclaimer, I don't actually know anything about the development history of Dragon Age, these are all just my impressions from my mostly blind playthrough. I didn't look up anything story wise, but I did do a little research into builds just to make sure the combat got a fair shake)

Starting Origins, you can clearly see that it wants to be an ARPG, but was realized by a bunch of guys that had only done CRPGs up to that point. You've got these flashy cinematic finishers, a camera that can technically be zoomed out to a more traditional top-down view but prefers to sit over your shoulder, and a tactics menu that basically means you don't have to micro your party at all if you don't want to (maybe you do on higher difficulties, idk, I went through on normal because the thing kept crashing and didn't wanna have to deal with constantly redoing fights). I can feel the Baldur's Gate energy in it, but I can also feel some guy saying "and we want it to be more dramatic and dynamic" while a copy of Dragon's Dogma floats over his shoulder like a stand. Lore-wise, it's a darker, lower-magic setting, which I honestly think works pretty well for it looking the way it does. You've got your occasional crazy armor or fantasy-ass sword, but everything else was pretty grounded, and I definitely got the feeling that I wasn't all that stronger than the enemies, despite being a diet witcher. That being said, it's an older game, so it's pretty easy to break. I played a Blood Mage/Arcane Knight build, and basically every single encounter was solved by stunlocking the entire room to death, which somewhat ruined the immersion of these guys being an actual problem. Maybe if the Templars weren't such dicks about it this would've all been solved sooner.

On to Dragon Age 2, and boy oh boy can you tell this game was made in the early 10s. Everything has gotten spkier and edgier, you've got more impractical armor and weapons, the opening shot is your sister's tits bouncing around as you run through a battlefield, and the game tries to start you as an unremarkable white guy with a goatee and a shitty haircut (I shut that shit down real fast, though I didn't really customize lady Hawke either since from what I understand the customization doesn't carry over). You also see it crawling a bit further towards ARPG territory, now even your auto attacks are flashy and stylish, especially if you're a Rogue, but the bones are still basically the same. You still attack on a timer, you can still click to move, and there's still a pause button. The AI has also improved, I don't think I even looked at the tactics menu and I still got through with minimal difficulty. Also, they retconned a wholeass race, with the Qunari graduating from "humans but bigger" to these cool gray horned dudes. Definitely an improvement, no I am not at all biased, don't look at my Qunari inquisitor lady and my Dranei Death Knight lady and my Au'ra Mahcinist Lady this ain't about her. Also turning the duelist trainer from Origins into a slutty pirate lady was... a choice, but honestly I liked her character, and her, Aveline, and Merrill were my core party members through most of it (still though, put some pants on girl, cmon). This is also where my first actual complaint comes in, that being that they seemed to think the best way to add difficulty was to just swarm you with guys. I don't mind big fights, but having to chew through two or three waves of enemies with every single combat encounter got a bit old by the end.

And now, Inquisition, where we're almost there, it's so close I can taste it. You finally click to attack, you have a jump button, the tactics menu is basically gone, but it's still clinging to its CRPG roots, the pause button haunting your hotbar like a ghost of real-time-with-pause past. I haven't noticed any dramatic changes lore-wise like I did with 2, but they did manage to find some (slightly) more reasonable armor designs and thus far none of my party members are running around half-naked. An overall improvement, and while I'm not done with this one yet I've been enjoying it so far. From what I hear, the new one is finally a proper ARPG, and all I can say is holy hell it took them long enough

[c0rvidfagg0try]

No one will out do The Gonch, but I am thinking abt Zepotha and how good it could’ve been.

I think the concept is interesting removed from the original way it came to be. I really love the idea of like a campy late 70s-early 80s slasher movie. So in an effort to take this and actually make some sort of like lore for it I want to like talk abt characters and settings and stuff

Characters:

So far the only characters I’ve seen consistently pop up are Alaine, Maxine, Danny, and Cole

-Alaine: our deuteragonist with Maxine, good Christian girl stereotype, homoerotic undertones with Maxine, severe anxiety and paranoia issues (tragically unexplored by the movie), definitely very buttoned-up look (glasses, sweater vests, the like), turns into our tragic hero for the film, ultimately killing the killer but dying in the process

-Maxine: our other deuteragonist, bad girl stereotype, also homoerotic undertones with Alaine (definitely more obvious tho) (very Jennifer’s Body w/the 2 of them), very goth-y vibes, sort of eggs on Alaine’s anxiety, smoker, sort of a temptress figure for Alaine

-Danny: Our killer, part of the friend group with the other 3 characters, comes off as sort of this cool jock (footballer) guy and is mainly friends with them cuz he’s Alaine’s childhood friend (the forced heterosexuality between them is tragic), a bit annoying and overbearing, kills mainly due to the fact that Alaine won’t like him back (and the internalized homophobia he’s dealing with but they don’t talk abt that even tho it’s so obvious)

-Cole: stoner stereotype, him and Danny have something gay going on between them (also tragically unexplored) mostly chill guy and our doubter for the film (doesn’t believe that this is actually happening until it’s too late), tragically dies in Act 2 (Danny not realizing who he killed until it’s too late)

I like to imagine it’s very Scream-esque, so masked killer, killer is part of the friend group, takes place in high school, etc.

Settings:

I think building off some of the scenes that ppl talk abt is a good idea cuz some sound interesting to me

-High School: the main setting of Act I, where we meet the core characters and see multiple character interactions of the 4 discussing the killings, very stereotypical high school

Subcategories if this setting include: Hallways (specifically next to the lockers), Under the Bleachers, a Classrooom, and the Lunch Room

-Alaine’s House (specifically her Bedroom): her bedroom is very pink and child-like to represent her naivety, but is usually cast in a yellow light to emphasize her paranoia and the looming threat, we see this a couple times, but mainly in the scene where she’s getting ready for the party

My favorite scene from this is the scene where Maxine comes through her window to pick her up for the Bonfire, and ends up tempting her with a cigarette as she sits on the bed, Alaine comes over and takes up her offer, in an effort to relieve her anxiety/paranoia, and we see Maxine shotgun smoke into her mouth, until Alaine starts coughing it up, breaking the (homoerotic) tension

-The Bonfire/The Woods: the main area of Act II, where the infamous woods scene comes from, the core four r invited to the bonfire (Danny gets the invite for them since he’s popular) and there, the first body is found in the woods, hanging from a tree, stomach slashed open, and organs spilling out, as screams pierce the air, rain starts pouring in and the bonfire is doused, leading to ppl scattering in woods, including Maxine and Alaine together, and Cole, separated from the 2

A tense chase through the woods ensues, following each of them separately not knowing who the killer is following. We see the bodies of a handful more bodies scattered throughout the woods as the groups stumble upon them, various arms, legs, and heads severed, and always the stomachs slashed. We also see other ppl who look like they’ve been beaten, as ppl started attacking others, not knowing if they were the killer or not (emphasizing the paranoia themes)

The best scene is when we finally see the killer catch up to Cole, where they start fighting (and the killers chainsaw gets tossed to the ground) and it seems like Cole is winning until he’s stabbed in the stomach. We see the killer get up grab chainsaw to finish the job, but as he comes back and the rain stops, clouds parting to reveal moonlight, Danny recognizes Cole, breathing out his name, dropping the chainsaw again, and desperately trying to stop the bleeding. Recognition flashes in Cole’s eyes and he reaches up to cup Danny’s face, bringing it close (as if they’re abt to kiss), and he whispers ‘Danny?’ Before the light fades from his eyes 😩😩😩

-The Carnival: This is where the final Act takes place for the most part, this is a handful of months after the bonfire/woods scene (set nebulously during early spring) Danny invites Alaine for a date there and she says yes, but ends up showing up with Maxine, he is enraged, but ultimately still tries to take her around. There’s a bit of a montage of the 3 of them doing things together, mainly Alaine and Maxine, while Danny sulks, but eventually Danny gets Alaine to go on the Ferris wheel with him alone and tries to kiss her, which she rejects, and runs away from him with Maxine

He ends up going to the car and getting his murder gear intending to kill her (and various other carnival goers). He kills the Ferris wheel attendent first, spurring a mass panic. He searches for Alaine and Maxine, killing multiple ppl on the way and find them where they fight and the 2 escape to the games corridor and hide behind one of the stalls.

This part killed me, when Alaine grabs the bat from the stall and tells Maxime to wait there, kissing her on the cheek!!!! And then she goes after him in the House of Mirrors and starts smashing the glass as she sees him in like a culmination of her paranoia!!!!! And then Danny over powers her and slashes her across the stomach like everyone else and says ‘You should’ve loved me, not her, i could’ve saved you from all this.’ But she fucking grabs a shard of glass and like stabs him in the heart and says ‘It would’ve saved you too??? LIKE???? And the directors say it’s not canon smh,,,

But it gets even worse cuz like Maxine comes and find her and Danny’s body and like cradles her and like Alaine softly touches her face one last time and fucking does in her arms 😩😩😩 AND THEN IT ENDS??? Insane behavior

I Hope y’all enjoy my insane ramblings I hope this sounds like interesting and feels more plot like an actual thing??? Yeah I had a lot of fun with this like

[browniefox]

The Final Crisis Core Playthrough Post!

Might end up making a video or something that kind of puts all my thoughts on the game together, but I'll leave it as this for now.

I feel like I'm always harping on the same things, but this game is always trying to get me to care about characters that it hasn't set up well before hand. I think there's something interesting about Cissnei, but there's not enough interactions with her for me to really care about her, and them trying to be like 'hey, don't you care what her read name is???' just makes me dislike her more tbh. I appreciate she's looking out for Zack, but there's just not a lot there for me. Who knows, maybe she'll end up being super cool in Rebirth.

It's also funny to me that she's like 'wow Zack, coming to Gongaga? Of course they're looking for you here' but Zack makes it sound like he kind of came here by accident.

Hollander and his dumb ass little wing. Also, in this light, Genesis is doing pretty well for himself, all things considered.

Genesis' goal is just... It's all over the place. I was sort of beginning to understand him, but this last section of the game I just stop being able to get a read on him. What I hate most is the lack of feeling like anything has changed for him. It's been four years, and sure Zack's life was at a standstill, but the rest of the world shouldn't have been. I'm glad the game let me finally kill Hollander, though, I've been wanting to do that for hours.

And I guess right now they've decided they need Cloud's S Cells? Why do they think S Cells will work? Are they just grasping at straws? I think they are.

How has nobody talked about Lazard???? I thought what happened to him was a mystery bc I've never heard anyone mention that apparently he became an Angeal copy to survive or whatever the purpose was again. It's so weird to see him with Angeal's face.

I think there's something interesting, though, with us finally getting to learn a little bit more about the connection between the copy and the original, with Lazard mentioning he's been feeling some Angeal emotions or whatever. We never get to hear what his deal was though. I know it's implied he's a Shinra bastard, but I guess I think it would have hit better as text rather than subtext.

I do think it's cool that the shelling of Banora was one of the first things to happen in the game, and now we're back here and we get to see the fallout. At least it looks pretty. I think there's only one Banora White tree left, from the looks of it? I'd love to be able to come here in Rebirth, though I have a feeling we won't.

Are you trying to tell me that Genesis was the first person to think of making apple juice??? Yeah, sorry, don't believe it. This party just feels... weird. Like, I think it's supposed to hint to something? Like, something about the juice? I was just too caught by surprise by Genesis the Apple Juice Inventor.

I realize he didn't invent apple juice but just, uh, was the first to decide to juice Banora Whites? Was there something stopping them from doing so before?

The dungeon in this section also does not have to be this long. Bull shit dungeon.

Okay, so now there's a weird statue that was under Banora. Okay. I believe it's said or implied that whatever this thing is is what gave Banora White's their special taste or whatever or special properties, I wish it was gone into before. Is that why the trees were fruiting at weird times of the year? At least Genesis seems to believe this is what he was looking for.

It's sort of interesting that Genesis looks and Zack and goes 'Ah, you have both Angeal and Sephiroth in you, and thus we are all reunited', but like, that makes it seem like Zack will then get some part of Genesis to me, but that never happens.

The armor looks cool, but it made me expect a much cooler fight than I ended up having. The fighting in this ends up being just spamming spells, which isn't all that fun tbh. I like that Genesis' face was kind of cracking as he was getting the power of the Goddess, but then he's totally rejuvenated after this which is soooo lame.

Why and how does he claim this power anyway? It's one of the more minor questions, tbh. This is going to sound weird, bc god I could not get thi guy to stop talking about loveless, but I wish there was more Loveless? Like, that we could get a better understanding of the epic to better see how it fits the story of Genesis, Angeal, and Seph.

I do kind of like that Genesis at this point is still fighting. Like, he doesn't seem to understand when to throw in the towel - it's why he's been trying to find a cure this whole time. I kind of see it as what was probably once one of his best qualities, but now has become one of his worst.

I think this is supposed to be, like, the Goddess from Loveless, right? But, is that the same as the Planet? Is she some Ancient from long ago? Something else? These aren't questions that I necessarily need answered, but if would be nice to know if, you know answers to them did exist. I do think this whole scene is very pretty at least, and you get the idea that Genesis might even be coming to some sort of revelation about like, his life and what all of this is, and I for sure thought he died here.

I also think it's sad that Zack keeps getting into this situations where people are essentially using him as a form of suicide. How mean, he's just a nice little guy! Stop being mean to him :(

Wow, reunion of the Firsts. You have Lazard as Angeal, Genesis as himself, and Cloud as Sephiroth, how touching. I just, ugh, I was so done with this story by the time I got here. Like it’s a nice picture, and you get the idea they’re going for something, but it falls flat to me. Also,  Lazard says that they were attacked, and I realize it would have been more work, but I wish they would have done something to the area to look like there had just been some sort of fight here. I could easily believe otherwise that Lazard just fell down and died bc he looks that shitty. No offense. Also damn, the dog dies too :( 

And also we all get to eat an apple? Do the apples have something special going on with them or not? I got the impression they do from what I’ve heard other people say, and maybe I’m just not picking up on it bc I’m going through the story too quickly or something, but the pieces are just not coming together for me. I’m planning to watch both the CC and CCR cutscenes after this to get some other opinions and also to try and get a better grasp on all of this, so hopefully that will help…? 

Oh my God, I do kind of like the detail that Zack had no idea it’s been four years. I mean, why would he know how long it’s been. That being said, however, why hasn’t anyone else mentioned how long it’s been? Maybe they don’t realize he wasn’t able to account for that time or something, but still. It does break my heart that Aerith has been writing letters this whole time, but just now she’s finally giving up. 

Bye bye Genesis, see you in Dirge or whatever. For some reason I thought it ended with him, like, encased in crystal? I realize that that Zack really only has room for one comatose friend, but you couldn't have put Genesis somewhere a little better? Then again, he is a little bitch, and where else would he want to be than as close to home as possible? Not that he stayed there very long, of course.

Again, we see that the Turks care at least somewhat for Zack, and not just Cissnei. Either it’s because Tseng likes Zack or because he cares about Aerith, and tbh I’d take either answer. I think it’s nice that he’s been holding on to the letters she’s tried to send to Zack, that Tseng hasn’t thrown them away but clearly has always planned to give them to Zack, should he ever turn up. I do like Tseng a little more after this game, at least. 

I know that this game expects you to have played FFVII before hand, but I wish some of the repeat cutscenes were done more justice, like this one in the back of the truck. For a game that deals with the time between Nibelheim and Midgar, I kinda was hoping for more of these moments between Zack and Cloud. 

Ugh, this moment is good though, Cloud reaching out for Zack, probably the most he’s moved in years, but Zack has his back turned and is walking away. We all know what’s coming. 

I didn’t take a lot of screenshots during the fight. I wish it had let you fight them until you couldn’t fight any longer instead of ending it earlier. The way the DMW breaks down over the course of the battle is heartbreaking! I think it’s cool to interpret it as, like, Zack losing faith in those people, his loss in hope of what they thought, they believed, or maybe losing the values that they thought were important or something. And the way that Aerith’s DMW held on so long. When I tell you I screamed the first time he’s came up, and I almost cried when the it finally disappeared. And that grueling end fight! Where it’s you against three simple infantrymen, but Zack at this point is so tired and exhausted he can barely lift the buster sword. Oh my god, at least they did this part super well. 

Okay, my switch wouldn’t let me take screenshots of the ending cutscene, boo, but here’s my thoughts on that. 

God that last scene is so brutal.

Zack bleeding out and dying, and it not shying away from showing the blood and how painful and sad this is. And Cloud, managing to crawl over. I already knew this scene, but it still hit super strongly. Like, how relieved must Zack hae been to hear Cloud talk for the first time in ages? To say his name? Confirmation that Cloud was still in there and still cared about him? And all he can offer him now is a purpose and a weapon to carry on. And the way Cloud SCREAMS at the end! And Aerith looking upward, and you know that she can feel that Zack is dead. I have just have one problem, and that’s that it becomes a music video??? Like, why the hell would you do that? 

I also like the detail that the post-credit scene is the opening to FFVII. Very nice touch in my opinion. 

In summary, I like a lot of the ideas and themes that Crisis Core says it's going to deal with, and most of the ways that it expands the FFVII universe, but i wish it was better and more thoughtfully written. Everything feels so rushed, and like it's going a million miles an hour, and I don't get the chance to get attached to people as much as I wanted to.

[hildred-rex]

this pinned post is permanent now too...

Alright, the temporary blog image has grown on me. It's a cropped square from page 31 of A Collection of Emblemes, Ancient and Moderne (1635) by George Wither.

The header image is Monhegan, Maine (1922) by Nicholas Roerich. Everyone should go look at more Roerich artwork immediately; his are some of the most consistently beautiful paintings I've ever seen.

Anyway...

I'm:

Cinnamon or Hildred by name, accurately referred to with any pronoun set other than he/it.

@/voidblue on pronouns.page.

Generally, my thematic color is blue and not yellow, but it doesn't make sense for Hildred Castaigne to be blue. In fact, I think he'd be somewhat offended. This makes making this account look like me... somewhat difficult. (Update: I've given up entirely. This is Hildred's blog theme now. The Imperial Dynasty of America was secretly the Imperial Dynasty of Tumblr User @hildred-rex's Blog Theme.)

Under the readmore: a list of fandoms I partake in, more detail on my exploits in gothic literature, a noncomprehensive list of other things I've enjoyed, and a "last updated."

Fandoms:

The King in Yellow by Robert W. Chambers. Please ask me about it. I will talk for hours.

gothic literature (predominantly horror) in general; this gets its own list lower down!

The League of Extraordinary Gentlefolk.

Arthur Machen (have not read everything yet!)

Dracula by Bram Stoker.

The Parties are for Losers series by Ferry. (I don't want to give them a random notification for no reason, but they're nopanamaman on tumblr.)

The rest of Ferry's songs are also very good!

previously reading Homestuck due to a D&D campaign (I promise this makes sense in context)

[more when I remember them]

I decided a few years ago that Lovecraft was seminal to the cosmic horror genre and that therefore I should read all the fiction he ever wrote; to my recollection I've read everything listed on Wikisource except "The Street" and "The Rats in the Walls," provided it's extant. (Not sure this counts as a fandom?)

I'll have to come back and add a "music I enjoy" section later.

More on Gothic Literature:

(Listed = I've read it; bolded = I can probably do analysis of its characters; italicized = I don't remember it well; underlined = I really want to reread this and will when I have the time. Small is notes and commentary.)

This is only what I've dredged up from my brain at the moment and I have probably read more; this'll be updated as I read and/or think of stuff.

The King in Yellow (1895) by Robert W. Chambers. (Bolding only goes for the weird stories, including "The Demoiselle d'Ys," and is strongest for "The Repairer of Reputations." I've found myself unable to get through a few of the romances & cannot make heads nor tails of "The Prophet's Paradise" except that it feels like someone accidentally published his sheet of idea-collection paper. Admittedly, because of that it makes a pretty good transition between the weird stories and the rest.)

Dracula (1897) by Bram Stoker. (Curiously, I've never actually done Dracula Daily.)

The Three Impostors (1895) by Arthur Machen. (I utterly adore this book.)

Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1886) by Robert Louis Stevenson. (I really loved reading this one, but was very sad by the end. I had Opinions on most of the characters and will again when I reread.)

The Great God Pan (1890) by Arthur Machen.

The Inmost Light (1890) by the same author. (Hello Dyson!)

Jane Eyre (1847 originally; I think Dover reproduced from the third ed.) by Charlotte Brontë. (Worth reading, but GODDAMNIT JANE. She's the closest I've found to a fictional representation of how I think, especially about making complicated decisions, which (a) made her very relatable and (b) made the end of the novel all the more what-the-fuck. Also GODDAMNIT CHARLOTTE because of the authorial racism and also the not realizing how unhealthy the core relationship is.)

The Vampyre (1819) by John William Polidori.

The Shining Pyramid (1923) by Arthur Machen. (I didn't like this one when I last read it; Dyson felt off.)

The White People by Arthur Machen (has the most cursed name of anything ever).

Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus (1831, not yet 1818) by Mary Shelley.

The Red Hand (1895) by Arthur Machen.

[Am currently reading more Machen.]

Miscellaneous Things Enjoyed:

This time in alphabetical order.

The Anatomy of Tobacco by Arthur Machen. I feel I must clarify that it's a comedic work that I'd estimate to be of novella length. Reader beware, this book contains random untranslated and even untransliterated faux-Ancient Greek.

At the Mountains of Madness by H. P. Lovecraft.

The Case of Charles Dexter Ward by H. P. Lovecraft. It feels like reading a textbook with a central plot besides the advancement of history (and with a nicer writing style). Content warning for racism and off-handed mentions of the colonial American slave trade.

Fourteen by Peter Clines. This book gets in one's head and doesn't leave.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and its ensuing five-book trilogy, by Douglas Adams.

Impossible Landscapes by Dennis Detwiller. Worth a read even if one doesn't intend to run it.

Last updated 2024-12-26, YYYY-MM-DD. Created sometime in late-ish November 2023. Edited 2023-12-07, 2024-03-31, and 2024-07-03. Backdated to Louis Castaigne's birthday in a year that would make him 42 years old at the founding of this blog.

[pixelwixard]

Store Trek: Halloween to Holiday

Well, I went ahead and did it. I already posted the AO3 listing for it, but just in case you don't do the AO3 thing, here is the first chapter in all its glory. My original document, and what I posted on AO3, used left and right alignments to differentiate who was texting, but I don't know how to do that on Tumblr, so in this post I just labeled each text or group of texts. Read more under the cut!

Summary:

It's Halloween. You know what that means? TIME TO PUT UP THE WINTER HOLIDAY DECORATIONS! That's retail for you, dudes. Carol Freeman, the manager of Storefleet #2380, texts her daughter Beckett Mariner to come in for an overnight shift. Corporate wants those holiday decorations up YESTERDAY. Seriously, they didn't even want to wait until November. Beta shift is their only hope. This is the beginning of Store Trek.

Notes:

Okay, this is my first attempt at an AU. They say write what you know, and I know retail, and I love the show Superstore, so why not use some of its DNA to alter Star Trek Lower Decks according to my whims? Let's see how long I keep this series going. I'll do my best! This is in the form of a text chain, and I tried to format it accordingly. I hope it comes through okay.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Freeman gathers Beta Shift for the Overnighter

[The text chain between Beckett Mariner (Department Lead) and Carol Freeman (store manager of Storefleet #2380), began 8:13 PM on 10/31/20XX, retrieved from Mariner's phone]

Contact: Mom-Ager

Freeman:

Can you come in for an overnight shift  tonight?

Mariner:

Ooh, sorry, can’t. Out of town.

Freeman:

I saw your Instagram post. You’re at  Jennifer’s Halloween party. She lives two blocks from the store.

Mariner:

Fine. Ooh, sorry, can’t. Don't want to.

Freeman:

Beckett.

Let me be clear.

You’re coming in for an overnight shift tonight.

Mariner:

What could we possibly be doing that  needs to be done tonight?

Freeman:

The holiday decorations need to be  put out.

Mariner:

Are you freaking serious? It’s not even November yet.

Freeman:

But it will become November during your shift. Hence why you’re putting out the decorations.

Mariner:

See, this is why I hate the holiday season.

No time to breathe.

You should be able to enter a turkey coma on Thanksgiving, THEN wake up to the holiday crap.

Freeman:

Look, I’m not saying I disagree with the spirit of what you’re saying. It’s not up to me. This is from Corporate.

Mariner:

Can’t someone else do it?

Freeman:

Everyone else who isn’t already coming in is at Halloween parties.

Mariner:

I’M at a Halloween party!

Freeman:

MARINER

You’re a Department Lead now. That  means more responsibility. Sometimes, you’re going to have to leave the party early like an adult.

Mariner:

UGH

FINE

But I’m gonna be wearing my costume

Freeman:

I couldn’t care less what you wear. Shift starts at 11. You’ll have Boimler, Tendi, Rutherford, and T'Lyn with you.

Mariner:

You better be bringing us donuts when you open the store tomorrow. Proper bribery is the least you could do.

Freeman:

We’ll see. You look great in your costume, by the way. Just like Uhura.

Mariner:

Shut up, I know it.

End Notes:

You made it to the end! I'm so proud of you. I originally wrote Mariner's text grammar as much looser, as I think her text style would actually be. She has no time for capitalization and punctuation! She's too busy kicking ass and secretly hanging around the warp core. Even though that makes sense, I changed my mind and just made everything grammatically correct, for the most part. It's just how I prefer it. If you want to imagine a few emojis thrown in there, I won't stop you. A note for the future: I am not completely sure how I'm going to be handling aliens or other normal Trek stuff. Part of me WANTS to just have a bunch of aliens in an otherwise normal setting. Maybe that's what will happen. We'll see. I am leaning towards this because I really want to have a convenience store called FerengiMart, and I'd rather have it staffed with actual Ferengi.

Series this work belongs to:

Part 1 of Store Trek

[sweetmage]

Just some long-winded rambles about Sebastian and my OC Celestine and the timeline/progression of their relationship

Originally this was on a photoset of her, but I got a little self-conscious of all the text so I decided I'd make it its own post lol. You can read under the cut, if you're so inclined!

Celestine is, at her core, a very gentle and compassionate woman. She has a hard exterior, rough edges, and is majorly introverted beyond the party-girl mask she used to wear. Above all she mostly longs for a quiet life where she'll be more or less left alone.

She was the only daughter to an Orelsian-Starkhavener noble family, though she intentionally destroyed her social status by way of many scandals and uncouth behavior, hoping to avoid being married off.

Sebastian, in my canon, carelessly destroyed his reputation with scandals of his own like uhhh... marching on Kirkwall (badly. soldiers wiped out, nothing gained, and he looked like an incompent and impulsive fool to the public), being really bad at his job because he was never prepared for it, abandoning his position impulsively for a quiet life with a friend (a servant he became close to, later a romantic partner) only to shamefully slink back to throne when it didnt work out, etc.

Celestine was nearly successful in avoiding marriage until a certain pathetic prince, upon returning after his failed elopement (or what have you), became an eligible-but-not-very-desirable bachelor and her parents started rubbing their greedy, power hungry little hands together.

Through marriage, Sebastian intended to produce an heir and quickly before someone decided his head would look lovely on a spike and the Vaels were no more. However, he obviously had some... hang ups about the process. Likewise, Celestine also did not want this strange man within 50 feet of her, obviously.

On the night of their ceremony (which was only the second time they'd ever met), the reality of the situation set in and he decided then and there that this marriage was a terrible and immoral mistake and he could never ask her to do something like that (much to her relief because she did not want to).

However, she was rightfully bitter about the marriage to begin with and she really let him have it. She told him bitterly that this never would have had to happen if he didn't make so many foolish mistakes (which she was happy to list off in lurid detail).

She seemed quite knowledgeable and, much to her whiplash, he didn't respond poorly to the scolding but instead accepted her rant as justified. In fact, wanted to be told more about his shortcomings so that he may learn to correct them.

She wasn't a leader herself, but she had lived her whole life as a noble in both Starkhaven and Orlais, so she was more immersed in the politics and culture than he was.

From there, a plan began to form.

In lieu of producing an heir, they began to explore the possibility of restoring his image so that people might want to overthrow him a liiiittle bit less.

She agreed to help, but asked for an annulment of their marriage when they were through, which he was happy to oblige her with.

She did a lot of the actual leading from behind the scenes including compensating the families of soldiers he'd sacrificed as well providing aid to Kirkwall. Beyond that, she, alongside a group of handpicked advisors, acted as a buffer for his ideas and worked to educate him on proper leadership and restoring his image.

She came to realize that man she once assumed to be an egotistical idiot was actually surprisingly humble, charming, and polite. Moreover, he had been working tirelessly to address his grief heslthily, make ammends for his actions, and prevent any repeats. Moreover, he seemed to take those matters serious beyond simply restoring his image.

Over time, they sometimes found their lessons devolving into conversations about their lives, idle gossip, or amusing stories from their paths, sometimes getting lost for hours before remembering the task in front of them.

As the months became a year and he was finally coming to competency, she found herself dreading the end of their time together.

Resultingly, she began to find more and more reasons to insist that he still had much to learn, despite him reassuring her that he had it under control now and she was free to leave.

He was not totally oblivious to her intentions to stay, though he believed that she was worried about having nowhere to go or facing backlash from her parents. As a result, he offered to take the public blame in their annulment and arrange her stable living conditions.

With this offer in front of her, she had little option but to accept. She packed the few belongings she had and prepared herself to leave by the end of the week.

With their lessons concluded, she saw a lot less of him, which saddened her.

On her final evening, however, he joined her on the balcony where she stood overlooking the garden (which she would miss greatly). The spoke a bit then, though it was stilted and they both seemed to dance around the topic of her departure.

At last, he went quiet, becoming withdrawn so, naturally, she asked him what was wrong. He was reluctant to tell her, telling her instead not to trouble herself. When she pressed, he insisted that it was the very sort of selfish thinking he was hoping to overcome, something he didn't wish to subject her to. And when she pressed further, he finally admitted that he was sad to see her go.

He reiterated that he never had any intention of keeping her there, but a part of him had enjoyed her company, especially seeing as she was his only companion.

She responded with the same sentiment, though assured him that she would not remain to burden him longer or distract him from his duties.

To that he was... confused. Both of them were confused. But when it clicked for them... laughter, tears, dumping everything out of her packed bags, tossing their annulment papers into the fire, kisses, etc.

They would later go on to renew their vows, a more genuine and happy affair this time. She receives the quiet, peaceful life she longed for, away from the public eye, and enjoys the safety of knowing she has not lost her autonomy in this relationship.

They do eventually end up having two children (Elthina and Finneas) with their son being a mage that travels as a missionary and daughter being the one to succeed Sebastian when he, then in his 50s, steps down for health reasons. Though that is a post for another time!

[tactician]

1, 2, 6, 7, 37, 48, 61

(pointing at you) thats my dm. everyone clap for him RIGHT NOW

1. what drives them? what’s their ultimate goal? oh god it has evolved in so many fun ways over time. i think reides still really values his own personal pursuit of knowledge so that's still a core goal of his. he wants to learn a ton about the world and that will never change. in many ways i think that curiosity has been his major, constant 'drive'.

but he's also learnt a lot about like. forming lasting connections with other people? like when i think about how he was prior to the campaign, he was extremely caught up in his own head. the stuff that went down with his family and him believing he was rejected / disowned / a pariah to his home compounded that a ton, too. so he gained an approach to looking at his life as like... something that belonged to himself and himself alone. i don't think he was necessary selfish but he was definitely careless / distrusting when it came to how he viewed other people. it was a freeing but really lonely mindset. now he has a lot of things outside of himself that he cares about, like, TREMENDOUSLY. he has friends in the form of the party (including past party members ofc), and those are SOLID friendships; not just fleeting kind encounters that he eventually just fluttered away from. he has aske and is in a good spot with his family / home now, too. so he's definitely not driven solely by his own quest for knowledge anymore. as corny as it is, he is absolutely powered by love too, and he wants to keep those he loves safe. that connects to his duty as a prince-slash-ambassador and makes him take it all the more seriously. like... at the end of the day, once they're safe, he's meeting his goal. if he has to face threats targeting the whole world in order to keep them safe, he'll do it.

of course, love isn't all sunshine and rainbows; it's a dangerous thing and i try to reflect that in how willing he is to approach enemies now. reides of the past would shy away from killing his enemies even if they tried to hurt his friends (especially after everything that happened with tyrian LMFAO), but now he's significantly less merciful and definitely not a pacifist. that darker side of him only comes out when prompted though. if they dont try to hurt his beloveds we're all good :)

2. what was your original concept for this character? how did playing them change that concept? MY ORIGINAL CONCEPT WAS LITERALLY JUST 'I WANT TO PLAY A WEIRDO' then rachel showed me tritons and i was like 'I WANT TO PLAY A WEIRDO TRITON' FLGKHKFGH IT'S SO SILLY... i was also really interested in playing a high int / low wis character - even if reides is average wis-wise, i still have a lot of fun with that. originally i wanted him to be a druid but i was absolutely not willing to sacrifice my high int / low wis fantasy. now i'm on that evocation wizard grindset and i really am enjoying it a lot so i think it worked out for the best :-)

as for other changes, i was definitely really surprised by reides' growth over time... i should've known better bc Everyone Grows but when i went into dnd i was really set on him just staying mega flighty, ditzy, lalala freedom journaling studying sillaying lala... i'm just reides i'm a fun little guy there's nothing going on with me no siree i am not a runaway prince who may or may not be exiled from my isolationistic empire, whatever gave you that idea? :)! i knew some of the darker aspects of his character would eventually come to light but i didn't think he would like... change as much as he did?! like he became a lot more serious when the situation(s) surrounding him became more serious. his view of his homeland also became A MILLION TIMES more complex over time, which i really, really enjoyed (and continue to enjoy). i don't think he's like, NOT DITZY or anything now because he totally is, but he has honestly grown so much that i get emotional when i think about it. this guy who was extremely preoccupied with running away from anything that he felt threatened his personal freedom is now turning around and facing stuff with his head held high... secure in who he is and the person he wants to be... he will take his own freedom with his own two fucking hands it makes me feel all mushy :)

tying into all of that, i also went into the campaign wanting to play a mega deflective character and i tried SO HARD to stick to that LMFAOOO i think it worked out super well though because his big, impactful character moments have been extremely fulfilling to me and hopefully fun for others at the table too? so that wasn't really a change per se but i didnt expect some of the challenges that arose from it and im very happy they did. :3 reides is also still plenty deflective right now and i'm currently trying to like. re-adjust how guarded he is. bc i think he has attained a level of confidence / aptitude which is a bit at odds with that previous deflectiveness, if that. makes sense. LDFKGDFG but i'm not too worried about overthinking it because i think reides, himself, is struggling with it a bit too. it's a fun little zone to be in! :D

6. how have they changed in the last year? how about the last five years? ok i feel like i lowkey answered this during those previous questions but YOU KNOW WHAT... to summarize, i think he cares a lot more about other people!!! he has seen a lot of shit and has experienced a whole lot of loss and that has only fed into how much love he has in his heart for the world. it's not like... an abstract love anymore, either. LIKE HE HAS SEEN A LOT OF SHIT!!! so now he wants to use his own abilities to play a role in protecting the world and the ones he loves. he also has embraced his inner chaos way more; he's not ashamed of being the storm prince, it's a title which gives him strength - and he, in turn, is more willing to muster the strength to accept his duties. he's a whole lot braver!!! and like i said before, significantly more cutthroat!!! willing to lean into his power!!!

7. there’s a magic item (or technological innovation, or special resource) made just for them—what is it? legendary froggy boots... for splashing in puddles... ;LKFGHLFGKH NO UMM honestly i'm not sure. i feel like something that bridges his experiences on the surface with his experiences in the depths would be ideal for him... not sure what that 'something' is or what it would do per se, but just something to quell that constant 'i'm missing someone right now' feeling he tends to be plagued with LMFAO. alternatively something cool and linked to sea-storms since that's his schtick.

37. if they’ve had one, what was their first kiss like? nothing of big note tbh! reides is absolutely not the type to care about that sort of thing. it was casual and fun; one of those fleeting little special encounters from the past... but it definitely didn't happen back when he lived in aquos LMAO it was sometime shortly after he arrived in port valor. he doesn't remember the name of the guy and he definitely didn't even tell the guy his own name. they were also probably both pleasantly drunk and caught up in some tavern wildness LMFAOOO

48. do they relate to anyone in their group? conversely, which person do they relate to the least? ough this is a tricky one... i think he relates to everyone in the party in particular ways, though he's also very, very different from everyone as well LMAO. i/t he probably relates to ashara the most in terms of her interactions with the world - her being puzzled over how much has changed in modern times definitely reminds him of how the surface world puzzles him. he's FAAAAR from self-concious over his Sense of Wonder re: the surface, but it's still comforting to see someone else experiencing fascination over the 'mundane.' i also think he relates to erak a LOT because the two of them have a similar sense of humor / similar morals as a whole. erak came so close to getting the prince reveal AGES before anyone else in the party because reides just like... feels so seen with him, you know? it's ironic considering that erak TECHNICALLY doesn't know reides' whole deal right now but i'm sure he will someday :D

as for who he relates to the least... i think probably slumberjack wins this by default but only because neither of them were all that honest with each other during their time together. he still cares about them a lot, of course, but it's hard to relate to someone when most of what you know of them is a lie and when most of what they know about you is a lie, too. tbh, i think the regret reides feels over how All Of That went sort of fueled his like... willingness to open up to the rest of the party? he realized just how damaging having secrets can be to others and also realized just how much he cared about his friends (sj obviously included). but as i write this i feel like that means he relates to sj a SHITLOAD especially in hindsight so you know what, i have no idea who he relates to the least. HAHAHA

61. is there an in-game moment of theirs you think about and just laugh? AAALKDFDGK I ANSWERED THIS ONE BEFORE BUT LUCKILY I HAVE A WEALTH OF THESE MOMENTS SO HERE IS ANOTHER: i loved when viglis warned him not to get any splinters in the shipwrecks near aquos and reides was like I Didn't Get That Many As A Kid!!! and viglis said that he'd have one for each finger and reides insisted that ten splinters wasn't that many. i think that moment was like SO SWEET and it was prob the first little like... sweetsibling moment that the two of them had in a LOOOONG time. it was really cathartic somehow and i remember thinking 'ok this bridge isn't burnt after all' when we rp'd it, which was super cool :)

💌 sixty-nine questions for your ttrpg characters!

[kalianos]

The best ttrpg players are people who do not treat tabletop games like video games.

This has not changed.

The best DM's are ones who can create any world and make it engaging for their table.

Things I remember when randomly in conversation another fellow DM on call was practically gushing about taking a player for a solo session. Classic Monster is killing our animals scenario.

Player who rarely played tabletop games proceeds to: Ask around town, gather information. Figure out when it strikes, where it goes.

As a ranger. Goes out to the field it targets, holds up in a tree and ambushes the monster.

....I haven't seen any player do something like that in years it feels like.

I would kill to have players like that.

Then there was the conversation about the nine layer lasagna that another party is climbing through to get to fight Garfield at the end who trapped them in it before the lasagna cools trapping them in it. But you know that's just table top games and I was still reeling from knowledge that those players still exist.

I'm starting to look at the things my players do and wonder if I'm the problem. After years of dealing with people who do not want to engage in the investigation, only want combat non-stop no stop no roleplay want to roll dice never stop to think about our actions. Too scared to make moves as...people.

Last night went over all the ttrpgs I own now.

I own: DnD 5e with Humblewood, Eberron, Crit. Role settings.

dnd 3.5, Mongoose Traveller 2e, Lancer, Savage Worlds adventure edition: Deadlands, Savage worlds adventure edition: Super Hero's, Little Fears, Monster of the Week, For the Dungeon!, Cyberpunk Red, Paranoia, Pathfinder 2e, Starfinder, Konosuba TTRPG, Call of Cthulu, Sea of Thieves role playing game.

:V Brought it up to a friend last night how I keep colllecting these tabletop games. He asked how many have I actually played. He is one of my players so I counter-asked him how many has he joined.

When he couldn't answer I told him two technically three. DND, Deadlands, Monster of the week.

I said as I was flipping through Lancer's core book which I just got two days ago.

Made a few non-commital noises and said something along the lines of not really being into tabletop games. -_- Like yeah I figured when you never engaged in anything we set out for you and you were basically dragged by your older sister to join in.

....I should remake my solo intro scenario for new players.

Its been almost ten years since I ran the first players through it.

Sides one of my players has been talking about for almost a year how much they want to play dnd again so maybe. Though Last week during our friendsgiving did get him to make a character in Traveller real quick using the munson character generator. He really liked it.

*side glances bookshelf of all the money spent on Traveller alone*

...man I even bought a cd containing pdf's from the original company with a set of adventures to convert to the newer edition of Traveller.

Truthfully I feel like I am turning into an old man with a hand made cane sitting in the courtyard of his slowly decaying palace watching the few apprentices who made it and become dm's going off and spreading the joy of gaming.

Not sure I deserve even that much but oh well.

My GF joked this morning that if the apocalypse happens and we lose all electricity at least we'll have entertainment. >_>;

(Also I am planning on driving out to the bigger city to an old rpg shop and possibly seeing if I can buy Pulp Cthulu or Mouseguard if they still have it.)

[pendragony]

Thanks to both of you for interesting and insightful responses, and to jinkies for un-derailing the thread.

The take that started me on all this was one that saw Sam as the wronged party and Dean as the perpetrator of that wrong vis a vis Amy. The gif set I originally reblogged (and thanks to scoobydoodean for great editorialising in putting it together) was highlighting the thing that I think we are all agreeing on - while Dean may have made a morally questionable call that resulted in someone’s death, Sam has done the same many times. Both brothers show that they feel guilty about such occasions (although, per Dean canonically, he feels guilt about not telling Sam he killed Amy, rather than for actually killing her), and continue to ask themselves whether they did the right thing.

I think the question of what makes a person a monster is one of the biggest themes of the show, and what makes sense of the Amy storyline is acknowledging that both brothers are in murky waters while examining this issue. Is it monstrous to allow and condone a monster preying on people if they only kill people you think are bad? And what makes you the sole arbiter of justice in that scenario? Is it OK to kill people who we think are bad? Is it OK to kill someone who you know for a fact has killed people and will continue to kill people? But what if they are obliged to do so for their own survival and have done what they can to minimise the impact?

I think (though correct me if I’m missing stuff) that Sam is the one who consistently looks at scenarios like this and says “We’ll find another way”, while Dean is the one who insists that the buck stops here and action should be taken to prevent something from getting out of hand. Dean’s characteristic response is pessimistic and dutiful. Sam’s characteristic response is optimistic and constraint-rejecting. In the trolley problem, Dean would make an instant decision and live with the guilt; Sam would find a way to derail the trolley at the last minute. (Another theme of the show is, of course, free will vs destiny, and what you do with the hand that is dealt you.)

I think the other important character lens here is that of agency. The core conflict between Sam and Dean is to do with the big brother/little brother inequality, with Dean unable to trust Sam to do the right thing and to stay safe, and Sam unable to trust Dean to accept his autonomy and independent decisions. If we are to accept Dean as the wrongdoer and Sam as the wronged party here - and I’m not sure I do - I think it’s important to remember (as ani did in her episode fic) that Sam is not entirely in his right mind at this point in the story. Dean’s hallucinating, delusional, sleep-deprived little brother, who just had his mental walls broken (thanks, Cas) after a subjective 80 year stint being raped in a prison cell, has decided he doesn’t want to kill the man-eating monster because she’s his friend. Dean says, “OK, Sammy,” and goes to quietly deal with it. Like buying a second hamster so the kids never find out the first hamster dies, it’s a kindness towards a vulnerable person, to shield them. The problem lies in Dean seeing Sam that way, however circumstantial justified, because Sam’s decision was a reflection of his rational intellect, personal morality and sense of honour, rather than of his temporary mental instability.

Anyway, sorry if this is all old hat for you guys! As a new fan (only watched for the first time last year), I appreciate finding anyone willing to talk meta with me at all! I’m still working out a lot of my opinions, so am pleased to take on board your thoughts.

I am not hijacking yet another one of scoobydoodean's posts for an Amy discussion (been there, done that), so I'm copying the whole thing over here:

@pendragony Thinking about the conversation in the comments of the latest instalment of @ani-coolgirl ‘s awesome ‘Every first time’ wincest project re Dean killing Amy. The thing about Sam is, for all the puppy dog, baby girl, uwu vibes, that man is also a stone cold killer who is capable of going right off the reservation without his brother acting as a moral compass. And Dean is used to clearing up his family’s messes. So, while there’s a lot of other stuff to consider, Dean quietly going to do what his mentally ill and morally questionable brother couldn’t, and then trying to ensure his peace by not telling him stuff that would hurt him, is also classic big brotherism on Dean’s part. It reminds me of his reaction to the Meg possession and finding out Sam killed a hunter - tidy up after little brother, and nobody needs to know. Both brothers are willing to monster themselves in order to save the other. @jinkieswouldyoulookatthis @blue-chimera

Do I understand why Dean killed Amy? Yes. Do I agree that it was, in their world, something that needed to be done? Yeah, I guess. Do I understand why Dean felt like he needed to do it behind Sam's back and then lie to him about it? From Dean's pov? Yes, but it still makes me want to shake him. Narratively, I get it. But there is a very loud voice in my head that goes, "Dude, that was an asshole move."

Like, Amy basically was what Sam had briefly suggested they become way back in Time is on My Side (3x15). She killed only to save the life of her son. She made an effort to kill those she considered to be bad people, trying to make the act feel less bad. But otherwise she had structured her life around not killing humans, finding "ethical" ways to source what she and her son needed. This is basically what Sam was thinking about when considering if they could somehow use Doc Benton's methods to loophole out of Dean's deal.

One of the things that I really like about Supernatural's story is how the boys are constantly dancing along a knife's edge of becoming the monsters that they hunt. And for the first half of the series, Sam was most often the one in danger of slipping, and his innate morality is less clear cut than Dean's so he relies heavily on Dean to help determine the right course of action. But as the series goes on, as Sam better figures himself out (has the pride beaten out of him by the story), Dean becomes the one losing his way. The Amy situation, happening at the beginning of season 7, is around the tipping point for this shift, and I think that may be part of why it stands out and causes so much passionate discussion.

But, I don't know, as always, I just wished they'd talk to each other about shit, lol!