#look i have so many thoughts about how their society works
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Okay so I have a lot of thoughts about the whole thing of the Gerudo being a race of entirely women, with the only exception being one man born every hundred years, and that man automatically being their king. Now this worldbuilding comes from Ocarina of Time, and there's obviously a metric fuckton of unfortunate implications there, because it was 1998. And it seems that Tears of the Kingdom is sticking with the lore of Gerudo men being extremely rare and becoming the King of their people, which once again has a metric fuckton of unfortunate implications because it's 2023 and Nintendo has somehow gotten even worse about this shit.
But let's set aside the whole... everything, and look at this from just the in-universe perspective. How does it work? I mean, it's pretty clear that there is no overlap between the kings; the old ones are normally long gone by the time a new one is born, but the Gerudo manage to take care of themselves during the hangtime. So they must have an established system of government and leadership that doesn't involve a king, and somehow that system is set up in a way that does a smooth transfer of power once a new king is born and old enough to take the throne. But why bother always declaring a random guy to be your King when you already have a perfectly functional system in place?
I mean again, the whole thing has a lot of sexist implications, but we're not looking at this from a real world context, we're examining it in-universe. And we could just go the lazy route and say that their king is in charge just because he's the only man, but I don't like that. I mean come on, the Gerudo are a race of entirely women, and most of their outside problems come from Hylian men being creepy about it. They are entirely a matriarchy; there is literally no reason for their culture to have an inherent respect for men, even if the man in question is one of them. And they're desert people; they live in an extremely harsh and dangerous landscape, if they don't have their shit together, they will die. By sheer necessity, their culture needs to put a lot of value in being practical, because if they're stupid about things, people die. They really can't afford to have a shitty leader take over, and just letting some guy take the wheel doesn't really fit with the way their culture must otherwise work.
So again, why the fuck do they bother having a King?
I think it's mainly just a ceremonial position. Yes, if the guy is a good leader he'll be in charge, but if he isn't good at being a King or isn't interested in the job... fuck it, they've already got a functional government system that's been leading their people the whole time, why fix what isn't broken? The title of Gerudo King isn't about leadership or power. I think it's more about belonging. Because the Gerudo are a culture where every single one of them can be defined in the same way... and there is exactly one exception once a century. Men are considered to be inherently outsiders at the best of times, and more often they're enemies. A man born into this culture is a natural outsider; he is completely unique, and that means he doesn't really fit into his community. And well... when someone is fundamentally different from the rest of their community, they tend to be ostracized.
So I think that's why the position of Gerudo King exists. It isn't about them needing or even wanting a man to lead them. The title of King doesn't need to involve any leadership at all. It's about giving the man born every century a place in their society. It's a way of saying yes, you are one of us, you are a Gerudo, you belong here, you are wanted and you are loved.
The Gerudo know that every hundred years, one of their children will be fundamentally different from all of his peers. And so their society is built to ensure that a child who is completely different from them will still be loved and accepted. He will always have a place in their society. He doesn't need to earn their love, he has it just for existing. These are his people.
The title of Gerudo King isn't an inherent position of authority. It's a promise of acceptance.
#legend of zelda#ganondorf#tears of the kingdom#gerudo#look i have so many thoughts about how their society works#and for the record i really hate the implied bioessentialist gender stuff#but this is my headcanon on the whole gerudo king thing#if their king wants authority he still needs to earn it like everyone else#but they make sure he always has a place among his people#look growing up Different from your peers is a fucking nightmare#as any neurodivergent/disabled/queer kid can attest#i like the idea of gerudo society being structured around ensuring all their children felt like they belonged there#and having a system ready to go for the one kid they KNOW will be the most different
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This fandom created a myth about Lady Whistledown. Sometimes i wonder if i watched the same show. Let me make myself clear: While Penelope has to tell Colin the truth, because she loves him and he deserves it, LW helped the Bridgertons a lot actually. It saved them to have Daphne married to a creep ( and see how Violet wanted people to talk to reach LW and spread), saved Colin from a loveless marriage with children that he didn't know anything about it and saved Eloise. Yes, it saved Eloise. Eloise created and kept pushing the situation in her reckless pursuit. Eloise also didn't think about the consequences of her action towards the people working for LW, didn't listen to Penelope, didn't think about the risk she was putting people at. And while i understand her anger in not knowing, had she been a better friend, many other things would be different, because she truly never paid attention to what Penelope feels or want, she molded Pen to be whom she wanted and be her audience. And then, she left Pen with the choice of losing all she built and suffer consequences or pick the less harmful option: to make Eloise's scandal about politics, not romantic and save them both, plus Theo. The real ruin for Eloise would've been her being caught with Theo, something that was bound to happen as she was not careful at all. Why should Pen sacrifice all for Eloise? Would any of you sacrifice all ( job, family and possibly your liberty) for a friend who caused the bloody situation? I'm no hypocrite, i know i wouldnt. Not to mention Eloise bravado, to Pen she would say she wants to challenge society and doesn't care about what they think...but folded the moment she received a frown from the Ton. Shall we see who are LW victims, people that suffered real consequences? Lord Beerbrock. That's it. Marina is married, despite her lies and deceit. Colin? Nothing as well, in fact, happier than ever. Eloise? A few weeks of ostracism and she's back without a problem, without a romantic entanglement to ruin her. One that she clearly didn't really thought was deep enough to face society. The Bridgertons have more to thank LW than to hate her. And Violet and Anthony, i bet your asses, do think so, and see it. And The Queen? Are you watching the show? Have you seen Charlotte's personality? That woman loves the whole game with LW. And She loves to take it all, to receive the laurels of that society. As long as she can make it look like the won, and she can, easily, by revealing or be involved in revealing who is LW. See the whole KatexEdwina, how she handled the Ton there.
Anyway, just wanted to say something because some people have dreamed a LW that doesn't exist at all. Created on their own minds a boogeyman that wasn't simply reporting the truth with witty opinions but fabricating stories and lies to ruin lives, and that's simply not true. Never happened. There was never a lie created there. Only the truth, even about herself, as Pen was often damaged by her column.
#bridgerton#polin#lady whistledown#penelope featherington#nicola coughlan#luke newton#colin bridgerton#colin x penelope#eloise bridgerton
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dumb frat boy
đ starring. Lee Donghyuck x afab!Reader
đŽ preview. âIâd ask what you want me to do to you, but I did some research last night, watched some of that Hentaid shit you were talking about. Itâs a lot of bondage, isnât it, Angel? A lot of⌠creampies. You���ve got a thing for being held down and filled, huh? I guessâŚâ he lets out a small laugh, âI guess Iâm a little shocked, seeing as youâre so sassy with me. Guess you just want someone to put you in your place. What is it you called Johnny? A good daddy dom? I might not always be a dom, but for you, I can make it work.âÂ
tw/cw. yandere/stalker sub themes, âunknownâ caller, heâs horny, mentions of porn/masturbation, weed/alcohol use, unprotected sex, oral (m/f receiving), deep throating, face fucking, nipple pinching/nipple worship, fingering, dirty talk, praise, hyuck has a thick cock, cum/fullness kink, creampie, etc⌠I pet names: (hers) Angel (his) baby.
đš rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 9.1k
đ aus. uni/frat au, yandere subthemes, Halloween, etcâŚ
âď¸ mlist + an.  We're back in the Ghostie au! I'm so happy to be able to put out a fic for Hyuck a year after the original story captivated so many of us <3
Prologue
âIâve got the best idea ever,â Hyuck says the moment after heâs released his first breath from the bong.
Johnny lets out a sigh, leaning back in his recliner. âThis better not be another themed wet tittie car wash fundraiser.â
âExcuse me, that idea was brilliant- pairing up with our sister sorority and being horny on cars while in costumes that somewhat resembled cars from the Disney movie Cars made us more cash for the Humane Society than weâve ever raised, so dial it down on your tone there, Ghostie.âÂ
The elder frat boy rolls his eyes at the nickname. When word got out about how he wooed his girlfriend last Halloween, the term âGhostieâ ended up sticking, and Johnnyâs never been able to let down the sexy stalker angle, even this year's pledges know about it.
âAs I was saying,â Hyuck continues, âI figure Iâll take a page out of your book, and do some weird phone call thing to woo my Angel.â
âOh, so youâre finally gonna admit your feelings to your best friend?â Johnny asks in shock, sitting up to take a better look at the younger frat boy.
âYes, but after a week of toying with her,â Hyuck announces. âIt will be fun. We all know she got her nickname Angel because sheâs really more of a demon, sheâs going to love this shit.â
âWell, I guess you know her better than I do,â Johnny muses. âSo whatâs the plan?â
âBasically, you took the best phone call stalker with Ghost Face, but I figure there are other options out there. Have you ever seen Black Christmas?âÂ
âLike⌠the one from the seventies?â Johnnyâs apprehension is clear in his features, and he reaches for the bong to take another hit.
âYeah, the one where the dude calls the sorority and is a horny fuck on the phone.â
âIsnât there some weird incest plot and jaundice thing in the second movie though?â
âNo one watches the second movie! We donât claim the way they butchered the story with that!â Hyuck exclaims, feeling agitated already.Â
âI feel like, if you called her, and did the whole Black Christmas thing, she wouldnât know what the fuck movie youâre referencing.âÂ
âThey did a remake in 2019,â Hyuck insists.
âDid anyone actually watch it though?â Johnnyâs an avid horror film lover, and if he hasnât seen the remakes, itâs not looking good for you to be able to pick up the references, a thought that throws Hyuck off.
However, even though heâs been swayed, Hyuck wonât give up on this idea. âLook, think of it as a Love is Blind sort of thing- I can make her fall in love with me over the phone, and then when I reveal myself as her best friend, sheâll be all âwoah, weâre soulmates!ââ
Johnny looks as skeptical as ever. âAre you sure thatâs the way this is going to go?â
Hyuck scrunches his nose up in distaste at the lack of support. âYes.âÂ
The elder frat boy takes in a deep breath, shaking his head. âIf this is what you want to do, I wonât stop you. I just⌠I think your Angel would react better if you were just straight up with her. Maybe thereâs a reason the two of you have never gone past the friend stage. I think the good thing about me doing this last year, was I was just acquaintances with Tiny, I made it clear off the bat that I just wanted to know her better. If she didnât want me, then that would be fine. If you do this with Angel, and she finds out itâs you and doesnât return your feelings, youâre going to ruin a friendship.â
Hyuck thinks about what Johnnyâs just said as he watches the tall resident Ghostie take another bong hit. Itâs true- In Hyuckâs heart of hearts, he knows that⌠there must be a reason the two of you have never hooked up, but itâs a reason heâs never been able to identify.
The cocky side of him refuses to believe itâs because youâre not attracted to him- thereâs definitely sexual tension between the two of you, so it must be something else.Â
Heâs so tired of toeing the line, especially since youâve always been kindred, mischievous, horny little souls.
You were with Hyuck when he pranked Sigma Veta Tau last Christmas and put glitter on their ceiling fans. You were with Hyuck when he put a rotisserie chicken in Alpha Tappa Zetaâs air vents. In fact, youâve been present at almost all of Hyuckâs master plan shenanigans.Â
Thereâs something going on between the two of you and he knows it.Â
Last year, when Johnny had pulled his little semi-stalker Ghostie stunt, Hyuck had noted that whoever was behind the anonymous calls had some balls to hit on a girl that way, and heâll be damned if he doesnât live up to that.
âListen,â Hyuck sighs. âThis is between us. Angel is going to try to figure out whoâs calling her, and I need you to keep your mouth shut, okay?â
âFine,â Johnny agrees, shaking his head. âHyuck, I love you, but sometimes I forget how much of a dumb frat boy you are.âÂ
âYou know what?â Hyuck grabs at the bong. âIâll take that as a fucking compliment.âÂ
Sunday
Youâre in the middle of a much-needed nap. Curled up on your fuzzy blankets, your textbook long since discarded while your mood lighting twinkles through the space, itâs the most comfortable youâve been all term. Itâs late October, the nights come early, and youâre starting to not mind the cool air that seeps through the crack in your window.
Itâs because youâre dead asleep, that when your phone rings, you donât even check whoâs calling. You simply bolt up, dazed and confused, reaching to pull your cell to your ear.Â
âHello?â
At first, all you hear is breathing on the other end of the line, and you roll your eyes. Youâre no stranger to dumb calls, spam calls, and the like- but then, âAngel?â
Well, this is definitely not a spam caller, they wouldnât know your nickname if it was.
âWhoâs this?â you ask, pulling your phone away from your ear to look down at your screen. Itâs a âNo Caller ID,â and you let out another exasperated sound. Â
âA friend,â the person on the other end of the line tells you.Â
âA friend I donât have in my contacts?â you scoff.
âBurner phone, baby.â
âAnd what would be the point of getting a burner phone just to call little olâ me?â you sigh, relaxing against your pillows and pinching the bridge of your nose in annoyance.Â
âWhy so serious, Angel?â
âJeeze, dude, if youâre going to do the whole creepy caller before Halloween cliche, at least stick to your character.â You canât believe heâs quoting Health Ledgerâs Joker at you now. âWho are you even trying to be? Ghost Face is so last Halloween, we all know Johnny knocked that shit out of the park. A copycat sequel is just⌠early 2000âs.â
âOkay, let me drop character for just a second,â the man on the other end of the line sighs, and you giggle at how his voice modulator emphasizes his own exasperation. âThink, horny telephone guy.â
âI wouldnât call Ghost Face particularly horny, he was just a nerd.â
âIâm not Ghost Face!â he insists. âScream came out in the mid-nineties, think earlier than that.âÂ
âWhat, am I supposed to be some kind of horror movie expert?â you scoff.Â
âFine, Iâll just tell you,â the guy sighs. âHave you seen Black Christmas?â
âNever even heard of it.â
âFuck,â he curses. âWell, donât go watch it, it has some cult following but itâs not even one of my favourites- the reason I chose the dude from that movie is because heâs a horny little fuck and calls a sorority house and some shit- and also, donât look up the second movie, I donât claim the sequel.âÂ
âWow, I love that you chose a character based purely on horniness and not if the movie is even good,â you giggle.
âWell, Johnny took the best slasher caller! What was I supposed to do? Go all ghost child from The Black Phone movie?â
âWhatâs The Black Phone movie?â
âEthan Hawke? Horror veteran, who plays the hero author in Sinister, turned bad guy in the 2021 film by the same director?âÂ
You let out a whistle. âTBH, dude, it sucks Johnny got to Ghostie first last year, because Iâd bet money you know more about horror movies than he does.â
âI one hundred percent do!âÂ
âOkay, so back to the point,â you laugh. âYouâre calling me as this horny dude from some Halloween Christmas movie- for what?â
âTo talk to you?â he suggests. âTo uh⌠be horny⌠at you?âÂ
âAnd what does this accomplish? I mean- we all know Johnnyâs Ghostie story from last year, he called a girl every day, told her to come to his frat party, and revealed himself there. Is that your game plan?â
âI was thinking about it, but it sounds kind of lackluster now.â
âThatâs because itâs not an original idea at all,â you point out.
âSequels arenât always original,â the man counters. âLots of movies have the same plot just different characters, some recurring- look, it doesnât have to be original. The original angle to this Halloween movie is that Iâm going to be way more horny than Johnny probably ever was last year.âÂ
âAnd Iâm just going to allow that?â you grin.Â
âYeah, because we both know why you have your nickname, donât we, Angel? Youâre a dirty little minx, and youâre going to love this.â
âExcept, what if, Halloween comes, and youâre a frat guy that I think is ugly?â you ask. âIf you know me, you know I have very specific tastes. Thereâs only a handful of guys Iâd actually be interested in, what makes you think youâre one of them?â
The line is dead for a few stagnant seconds, then, âI just am, okay?â
âCocky little fucker,â you giggle.
âDonât be rude.âÂ
At this point, youâre pretty sure you know whoâs on the other end of the line.Â
Thereâs been a few tells from your best friend, Donghyuck. For example, heâs the biggest actual horror buff in the NCT frat. He idolizes Johnny, and was always salty that Mark got the Chicago man as a Big and not himself, so he had a close eye on the events that took place last year in NCTâs âGhostieâ Saga. On top of all of this, thereâs an extreme familiarity in the way heâs talking to you, a preexisting natural tint to his diction. Lastly, Hyuckâs the cockiest little dumb frat boy of them all, and itâs one of the reasons youâve always loved him⌠one of the reasons youâve also always kept a bit of distance from your best friend whenever situations have had the option of turning romantic.
Well, if this is how he wants to make his move at you, so be it.
Maybe heâll convince you that he can be more than a good fuck- youâd never risk your friendship for a one-night stand, no, heâll have to prove that he could go all in, that he deserves you.
And if all else is just extra, you can at least have some fun toying with Hyuck while he thinks heâs the one toying with you.Â
âOkay,â you sigh, stretching. âLet's do this, but we can start tomorrow, you woke me up from a nap, and Iâd very much like to get back to it.âÂ
Monday
âIâm not waking you up from a nap, am I, Angel?âÂ
âNope,â you grin, mischief working its way through your mind as you think of the best way to throw Hyuck off. âI was just watching some porn, flicking the bean, you know, that sort of thing.â
You hear him choke. âF⌠Flicking the bean?â
âCome on, you have to have heard of flicking the bean!â you insist. âBuddy, youâre the one whoâs supposed to be calling me to be horny, this is your perfect opportunity!â
âRight, I uhâŚâ he coughs. âHowâs⌠howâs the bean flicking going?â
âDude, do you know anything about seduction?â you scoff. ââHowâs the bean flicking going,ââ you imitate. âLame!â
âRude!â he counters.
God, heâs so obviously Hyuck and you bet he doesnât even realize it.Â
âYou know what, if you must ask, the bean flicking is going really well.â
âWhat kind of porn do you watch?â he questions next.Â
âWouldnât you like to know?â you tease.
âTell me,â Hyuck insists.Â
âMight have to get you to beg if you want to hear those kinds of details.â
âIâm the creepy phone stalker, I call the shots.â
You roll your eyes. âSure you do, buddy.âÂ
âStop calling me buddy.â
âOkay, dude.â
âDonât call me dude either!â
âThen what am I supposed to call you? Itâs not like anyone knows the name of the slasher from Halloween Christmas, or whatever. Youâre no Ghost Face, friend.â
âItâs Black Christmas,â he corrects you. âAnd Iâm pretty sure his name is Billy.â
âWow, how sexy, Billy,â you scoff. âYou really didnât think this one through that well, did you, buddy?â
âOriginal Ghost Face is who? Stu Matcher and Billy fucking Loomis,â Hyuck points out. âItâs not the worst name in the world.â
âTell me one person who refers to Ghost Face as Billy Loomis though, one person, and Iâll tell you what porn I watch.â
âThe⌠screenwriter?â
âJesus Christ, dude. Thatâs such low-hanging fruit.â
âNow tell me what porn you watch.âÂ
You let out a deep sigh. âAll this bickering has me not in the mood anymore.â
âWeird, Iâm extra in the mood now.â
âCuz youâre a weirdo who gets off on play fighting, I bet.âÂ
His voice takes on a whiney pitch when he says, âTell me what porn you watch!âÂ
âHonestly?â Youâre tired of this conversation, but you see one last opportunity to toy with Hyuck before you hang up. âHentaid on Porn Hub, Iâm all about that alien, tentacle shit,â your voice takes on the air of a damsel in distress when you muse, âNo mortal man can ever satiate me, Iâm afraid.â
âHoly shit,â Hyuck whispers. âAre you for real? Tentacle porn?â
âUh huh, now, goodnight, buddy.â You hang up on Hyuck with a shit-eating grin on your face, knowing youâve left him something to think about.Â
Tuesday
âHey,â you say, sitting down next to your best friend in the on-campus burger joint where you spend your Tuesday two-hour period between classes. âIâve got something to talk to you about.â
Hyuck is mid-bite of a burger, and he holds up a hand, covering his obnoxious eating style. âJust a sec,â he mumbles.Â
You wait patiently, staring at your friend while he finishes up. Heâs in a black hoodie, and black t-shirt, and his laptop is open next to where heâs eating his combo meal. Heâs usually here before you are, scoping out a booth and food so you two can chill in peace before your shared history course.Â
History isnât your major per se, itâs more of a special interest, and the same goes for Hyuck. Heâs a film major- another obvious dent in his plan to fly under the radar as your phone stalker who just happens to know everything about horror movies.Â
âOkay,â Hyuck says, swallowing the last of his large bite of food. âWhatâs up?â
âSo on Sunday, I got a phone call from some dude with a burner phone,â you explain, watching closely as Hyuckâs brows raise just a moment too late to be legitimate surprise.
âYeah? What did he say?â
âHeâs trying to recreate Johnnyâs whole Ghostie thing from last year, but as is the case with most sequels in the horror genre, heâs kind of missing the mark.â
Hyuck chokes a little on his food, and he reaches for his Coke to wash it down. âWhatâs he doing wrong?â
âWhat an odd question, Hyuck,â you say, narrowing your eyes at him. âBut, to answer it, heâs just⌠not loose enough. He feels too rigid. I gave him an in last night, if you know what I mean, and he just, fumbled it.â
âAn in?â Hyuck cocks his head to the side, âwhat do you mean?â
âYou know, an opportunity to be horny with me.â
âAnd you want him to be horny with you?â
âI mean, thatâs the whole point isnât it? He promised me heâd be more horny than Johnny was last year, but I feel like Johnny probably had this whole daddy dom thing down- I donât know what this new guy is trying to give, but heâs not giving, you feel me?â
âHuh, thatâs weird,â Hyuck shrugs, picking up his burger again. âDo you have any guesses who it might be?â
You shrug. âHe told me it was someone I think is hot. So that means it could be Jaehyun- God, you know how sexy I think Jaehyun is,â - youâre relishing in the way you get to tease Hyuck like this - âit could be Jeno, or Jaemin- I donât think Iâd even mind if both of them came up to me on Halloween, full original Scream style- Jaemin is definitely the Stu Matcher character, though.âÂ
âJeeze, Angel,â Hyuck grimaces, putting his burger down and leaning back in the booth. âDo you have to talk about two of my best friends tag teaming you while Iâm eating?â
âSorry, babes,â you snicker. âI just think this week is going to be fun, and I canât wait for my Billy Halloween Christmas stalker to find his A-game.â
You half expect Hyuck to correct you on the movie title, and you see him bite his tongue, fighting the urge to throw his own cover under the bus in a bid to protect the sanctity of cult films. But alas, Hyuck shuts himself up with another bite of his burger, and with one last look at your friend, you pull out your laptop to actually get some work done.
Wednesday
âHey, bud,â you answer your call with a grin, twirling your hair around your finger while your eyes skim your textbook. âWhat happened yesterday? You never called.â
âYou looked busy,â comes a curt retort.
âOh⌠did you see me with Hyuck?â you stifle a laugh, of course heâs going to play this jealousy angle, when in reality, he was probably just butthurt about you toying with him.Â
âIt was hard not to notice you with him,â he responds.Â
âSomeone sounds jealous.â
âWhatâs your relationship with him?â
God, Hyuck must be very desperate to be trying to get details out of you about how you feel about him, through his alter ego.
You take a deep breath, closing your book and leaning back in your chair. âWeâre close,â you start.
âBut just friends.âÂ
âJust friends,â you confirm. âI guess, I mean, obviously heâs cute. Thereâs no argument about Hyuck being cute. And heâs fun, heâs cocky, heâs mischievous- I guess my one concern with him is if he could do something long term. I may come off as a dirty little demon child, but in reality- I donât want to put all my eggs in one guys basket if heâs busy collecting eggs, if that makes any sense.â
âYou want a guy who just wants you, who puts in the effort.â
âExactly.âÂ
âIâm putting in effort,â your âmystery manâ points out.
âI suppose this could be considered effort.âÂ
âI spent twenty five bucks on this burner phone.â
âWow, buddy, that must have broke the bank.âÂ
âI have money!â he insists.
Hyuck definitely has money, itâs one of the reasons heâs probably so cocky. He comes from a large line of Leeâs, a family group that owns development all around the country. Youâve tried not to let any gold digging inklings stain your perception of the frat boy though, that wouldnât be fair to him.
âHey, friend?â you ask, choosing a base level nickname for this man who is clearly Hyuck.
âYes, Angel?â
âWere you thinking about it yesterday?â
âThinking about what?â
âMe, you know⌠watching alien tentacle porn and flicking my bean.â You try to make your voice sound innocent, but you canât help the mischievous grin that works itâs way onto your face.Â
You can hear him swallow thickly. âHold that thought, Iâm going to call you back.âÂ
âWait-â before you can get an explanation, the line goes dead, and you release an annoyed huff, crossing your arms over your chest.
Heâs such a little shit, leaving you hanging like this-
Two minutes go by, then five- and just as youâre starting to be really annoyed, Hyuck calls you back.
âTook you long enough,â you snap.
âListen, Angel, I needed to get in the mood. Iâm too rigid talking to a pretty girl like you, had to take some of the load off.â You can tell, even under his modulated voice, that Hyuck has most definitely just gotten into some weed.
This is so classic him- and to be completely fair, youâve witnessed the effects of Mary-Jane on one mister Lee Donghyuck. Heâs much more suave while green, less anxious, more willing to take risks.
âSo, to answer your question,â Hyuck continues, letting out a breath. âI have been thinking about you. Been thinking about your cute voice, how it would sound begging, whining, whimpering- what little noises youâd make choking on cock, or tentacle-â Hyuck laughs. âIâll be honest, I donât have an octopus dick or anything. If you let me, youâll have to be okay with a human style back breaking.âÂ
Youâre shocked.
Had he really just said all of this to you?
Was weed all it took for him to pull up his big boy panties and lay some actual sin onto you?
You canât ignore the way your pussy flutters with interest at his words, and you shift uncomfortably in your chair. âIâm sure we can make it work⌠what kind of tool are you packing, buddy?âÂ
Hyuck chuckles. âItâs thick, I think it will do the job.â
Hyuck isnât the tallest frat boy, but in no way is he the smallest either. Heâs average, and to think that he has an above average girthy dick- well, you canât help lick your lips in interest.Â
âStalker got your tongue, Angel?â Hyuck asks. âYouâve just gone awfully quiet.â
âIâm justâŚâ you swallow thickly. âJust thinking.â
âAbout my thick cock splitting you open?âÂ
God, your pussy is throbbing now- âHow⌠our first few calls were so awkward-â
âI promised you dirty, didnât I? Needed some courage first, but⌠I can tell youâre not mad about it.âÂ
Youâre definitely not mad about it.
You think maybe part of you would be upset if you didnât know your âmystery callerâsâ identity- but the safety of knowing, in your heart of hearts, that this is Hyuck- it changes everything, and you can allow yourself to feel the pleasure already beating through you.
âIâd ask what you want me to do to you, but I did some research last night, watched some of that Hentaid shit you were talking about. Itâs a lot of bondage, isnât it, Angel? A lot of⌠creampies. Youâve got a thing for being held down and filled, huh? I guessâŚâ he lets out a small laugh, âI guess Iâm a little shocked, seeing as youâre so sassy with me. Guess you just want someone to put you in your place. What is it you called Johnny? A good daddy dom? I might not always be a dom, but for you, I can make it work.âÂ
âSoâŚâ you find it hard to even speak because heâs so right about his assessment that it hurts. âSo⌠youâre more of a switch?â
âI can be. Generally, Iâm not about strict roles in the bedroom, but if youâre into that sort of thing, I can see what itâs about.âÂ
âTell me more about being a switch?â
âDonât want to give you too many details about myself, these calls are about you, Angel.âÂ
You let out a groan.
âBe patient,â he reminds you. âAnd tell me, are you as wet right now as I am hard?â
This time, the sound you release is really more of a moan, and it makes Hyuck chuckle darkly.
âIâll take that as a yes⌠are you gonna touch yourself after this? Gonna do all the work I canât do, not yet, anyway.âÂ
âMaybeâŚâ
âI like the thought of that, two horny people, whacking off together after a phone call, different rooms, but weâll be on each otherâs minds.âÂ
You get the suspicion that Hyuck is going to be on your mind for a whole lot longer than simply your upcoming bean-flicking session.Â
Thursday
âIâm here, Iâm here! Whatâs the emergency!â Mark asks, out of breath, his cheeks flushed from the cold outside and having just run across campus.
âItâs not an emergency, donât worry, just sit!â you tell him, pushing out a chair.
âAngel, you texted me, and I quote,â he pulls out his phone, â911, meet me at our spot in the library asap.â
âWell, I wanted you to come,â you shrug.
âGod, youâre as much of a drama queen as Hyuck is,â Mark sighs, taking his seat across from you.Â
âSpeaking of HyuckâŚâ you grin, leaning forward and clasping your hands together, âyour roommate decided to go full Ghostie this year.â
âWait, heâs not doing Ghost Face for Halloween-â
âNo, I mean, like, stalker phone call Johnny Ghostie,â you clarify.Â
âWhat?â Markâs expression is blank, and he looks completely unimpressed.
âBasically, he called me on Sunday, did this whole thing about doing a Black Christmas character or some shit- heâs been calling me from a burner phone with a voice modulator-â
âJesus Christ,â Mark sighs, covering his eyes with his hand.Â
âThe moral of the story is, Halloween night, Iâm calling dibs on your room.â
âMy room?â Mark peaks out at you through his fingers.
âYour roommate has to get laid. Actually, scratch that, I have to get laid⌠with your roommate.âÂ
âThis is so-â Mark groans. âI thought we were over this stalker Halloween thing to get girls. Donât any of us have respect or standards anymore?â
âYouâre frat boys, Mark, so the answer on that one is going to be a no from me.â
âWhy are you even into this?â Mark questions further. âLike- whatâs so sexy about any of this?â
âI mean⌠it shows Hyuck cares?â
âHe cares enough to get a burner phone and a voice modulator and call you and be creepy and horny? Wow, what a huge chivalrous act of love.âÂ
You narrow your eyes at Mark Lee. âIâm not enjoying your sarcasm, mister.â
âAnd Iâm not enjoying this,â Mark retorts, pointing between the two of you. âFuck, fine, have my room on Halloween.â
âLast thing though, Hyuck canât know that I know that heâs the one calling me.âÂ
âWait, so this isnât a bit? Heâs committed to trying to trick you?â Mark leans back in his chair, his expression getting even more bleak. âThe two of you are crazier than I thought.âÂ
As you open your mouth to respond, your phone rings, and you look down to see Hyuckâs burner âNo Caller ID.â
âHeya, buddy,â you answer, bringing your finger to your lips to shush Mark.
âWatcha up to?â
âJust in the library with a friend.â
Hyuckâs tone shifts. âWhich friend?â
âMark, you probably know him.â
âOf course I know fucking Mark. Whyâs he with you?âÂ
âJust chatting⌠why? You jealous?â
âNo.â
âYes.â
âNo!â
âYes!â You let out a laugh. âBuddy, settle down, we both know Iâm not into Mark Lee, weâve talked about this before.â
âWeâve never talked about Mark,â Hyuck responds, and you realize, you may have just betrayed that you know who he is-
âI mean, he wasnât on my list with Jaehyun, or Jeno, or Jaemin-â you quickly cover your blunder, and Hyuck releases an annoyed sound.
âI get it, I get it,â he groans. âFine, finish up your time with fucking Mark, then.âÂ
âDonât be salty about this,â you warn.
âYeah, whatever.âÂ
Friday
Itâs the final day before Halloween, and if thereâs one thing you know for sure, itâs that Hyuck is working. The SVT and NCT frats are the primary workers at the on-campus bar, Skeets, so they have a deal that NCT works the Friday before Halloween, and SVT works the Saturday.Â
Knowing these details, youâre also aware that itâs possible Hyuck wonât be home till three am, so youâre a little shocked when you get a call at one.
âHi, Angel.â
âIf it isnât my favorite stalker,â you grin, pausing your horror film- in all truth, youâd decided to watch Black Christmas, and now you can see why Hyuck told you not to bother, he hasnât nailed the deranged attitude of the main villain at all.Â
âWatcha doin?â
âNot much, you?â
âNot much,â he responds.
âAre you sure?â you counter. âCuz something tells me maybe youâre working right now⌠did you get a break, buddy?â
âIâm not working,â he insists.Â
âSure youâre not,â you laugh, dropping the line of questioning. âHey, tell me again why you chose Billy from Black Christmas?âÂ
âSeriously?â Hyuck lets out a sigh. âI guess I just wanted⌠an excuse to be horny on the phone for you, even if itâs just for a week.â
He sounds defeated, and youâre not shocked. Halloween is the busiest night of the year at the bar Hyuck works at, if anything, youâre surprised he even had a moment to dip outside and call you.
âYouâre cute,â you muse. âYou sound tired, so Iâll let you go, but uh⌠Iâll see you tomorrow, yeah?â
âYou will.â
âAnd how will I know itâs you?âÂ
âYou just will, goodnight, Angel.âÂ
SaturdayÂ
Youâve just arrived at the frat party, and already, youâre on the hunt for Hyuck.
At this point, youâre tired of the games. You feel closer to Hyuck, in some odd, sinister sort of way- closer than you ever have before. And youâre tired of hiding it, tired of this weird cat and mouse- you just want to have a conversation with him, to get everything out into the open so you can truly discuss your feelings.
You find him by the beer pong table. Heâs in a full denim fit, and you canât put your finger on who he is as you approach.
âHey, Hyuck,â you greet, tucking into his side so he can hear you over the music. âNice Canadian Tuxedo.â
âDo you know who I am?â he asks.
âUhâŚâ You look at him blankly. âAre you talking about your denim costume? Or the way youâve been calling me all week?â
Hyuck stares at you in shock. âUhâŚâ he clears his throat. âIâm Ken⌠you know, from the Barbie movie.âÂ
âRightâŚâ you trail off, wondering if heâs going to touch on the Black Christmas side of things.
âAlso⌠what do you mean? About me calling you all week?â
âHyuck,â you sigh. âPlease donât try to avoid this. Just be honest. Itâs you. I know itâs you.âÂ
He looks at you, and you can see the cogs turning in his mind.
âYou told me youâd reveal yourself tonight,â you continue. âI know I kind of just threw you under the bus, maybe I ruined your master plan or something, but Iâm tired of pretending I donât know itâs one of my best friends whoâs been calling me all week being horny.â
âAre you mad at me?â he asks, voice lowering. His eyes search yours, as if heâs trying to get a read on you.
âHyuck,â you let out a laugh, âIâm not mad at all, but I think we should go to your room and talk this out a little, donât you?â
âI guess thatâs a good idea,â he acquiesces.Â
âThen letâs go.â You grab his hand, lacing your fingers so you can drag him to the stairs that lead to the second floor. You donât say anything as you move, youâre on a mission, and what you need to discuss with him is better said alone than in a crowd of horny Halloween partygoers.
You make it to the privacy of his room, and you shut the door behind you. âSo?â
âSo?â Hyuck moves through the space, and you notice him heading for his bong.
âHey, donât do that,â you sigh.
âDonât do what?â he asks.
âYou donât need to get high to have this conversation.â
âI donât?â
âNo.â You shake your head. âI donât want you to be high when we do this.âÂ
Hyuck lets out another deep breath. âThis isnât how I planned things.â
âYeah, I guess not,â you admit, watching him take a seat on his bed. âHow did you see tonight panning out?âÂ
âI suppose I figured I could get some drinks in, liquid courage, that sort of thing. And then, maybe Iâd reveal myself at the end of the night or something.â
âAre you really so scared of me that you need to be drinking to confess how you feel?â you ask, melting a little. You approach Hyuck, sitting carefully on the bed next to him while he faces clear inner turmoil.
âIâm not afraid,â he states, but you can tell from the tone of his voice that thereâs something else going on. âI just⌠You told me you only want a man who can commit, a guy who only has eyes for you- and, I do, but⌠we both know my playboy track record, and I guess⌠I just worry about hurting you.â
âDo you want to hurt me?â you question, tilting your head as you try to understand him.
âNo, never.â
âDo you think youâre at the point where you could settle down a little? Iâm not trying to get you to stop partying, I just mean⌠committing to one girl, is that something you think youâre capable of?â
âIf itâs you, then yeah⌠I think so,â he nods, finally meeting your eyes.
He looks so vulnerable, and itâs very different from how you usually view your mischievous friend.
âHyuck,â you whisper, unable to help the way your hand raises to cup his cheek. âIâm willing to give this a shot if you are. If thereâs something real here, and itâs not just you being a horny, dumb frat boy.â
âOkay, rude,â Hyuck laughs, showing you a glimmer of the him that you know and love, âItâs more than being horny⌠but⌠in all honesty, seeing you in this fucking faerie costume has me all hot and bothered.â
âYeah?â You lean closer, grinning. Your lips ghost over his when you say your next words, âSo what are you gonna do about it?â
Hyuck sucks in a sharp breath, his pupils dilating- youâre so close to him, and you can make out all the pretty shades of brown in his irises. Gosh, he really is a pretty frat boy.Â
His hands find your hips, and he tugs your body closer. You can feel him breathing, his gaze darting between your own and your mouth. You watch his tongue dip out to wet his lips, and he swallows thickly.
âFuck it,â he mutters, finally smashing his lips to your own.Â
Itâs not gentle by any means, but itâs not necessarily aggressive either- one word to describe this kiss, is: desperate. Heâs so eager, and you kind of love it, love the way he tugs you flush to his own body, one hand moving to cup your cheek- his tongue glides against your own and you stifle a moan, shifting in his embrace so you can wrap your arms around his neck.
It feels so good to be pressed against him like this- youâre actually kind of shocked at how good it feels. And his hands, exploring your body, keeping you close, fingers digging into your hips-
Hyuck is everywhere, devouring you like youâre his last meal.
âOh,â you whisper, when Hyuckâs mouth moves to your neck. âBy the way, I called dibs on your room with Mark, he wonât be bothering us.â
Your dumb frat boy pulls away from your throat, a grin on his face. âYou really knew it was me all along, huh?â
âYouâre not exactly subtle, buddy,â you laugh.
Hyuck shakes his head, reaching to lock the door before his hands ensnare you again. He pushes his body against yours, urging you to move backward until your calves hit the bed. Before pushing you down, he removes your faerie costume wings, and only once the more delicate part of your costume is discarded, does he shove you onto his mattress.
âHyuck,â you giggle, looking up at him with starry eyes.
âYou look so good like this,â Hyuck muses, tugging his denim âKenâ style vest off to reveal a body hardened from Frat mandated work out brother time. Heâs not too big, not too built- Hyuck still has some pudge on him, but you kind of love it. You love that itâs not a full six pack and bulging biceps- you can imagine that when this is all done, heâll be lovely to cuddle with.
In fact, youâre not sure it would matter how muscled Hyuck is. Sure, it helps that heâs physically fit and hot, but- at this point in your friendship, youâre attracted to him for so much more than his body.
No man makes you laugh like him. No man has spent the time that he has to understand you and make you feel comfortable with him knowing you, the true you, the you that you donât get to show many others.
Hyuck is just⌠heâs good for you, and he always has been. That goodness has so far been a friend capacity sort of thing, but youâre excited about the new development in your relationship. You think thereâs true potential with him, and it makes you dizzy as you stare up at one of your best friends.
âI kind of want to eat you out, Angel,â Hyuck admits, one hand finding your thigh and pushing your short dress even higher up your leg.
âFunny, I kind of want to suck you off,â you grin, lifting one foot out of your shoe to tease your toes across the front of his jeans.
âSo⌠sixty-nine?â Hyuck asks, gently tracing his fingers across your exposed skin, setting tingles of pleasure off to erupt and skitter through your form.
âThat would work, but⌠I guess⌠I kind of want to lay with my head lolled off the side of the bed, your cock in my mouth, and your fingers pinching at my nipples while I work my own clit at the same time.â
âJesus,â Hyuck breathes, swallowing thickly as he looks up at you. âHow could I say no to that?âÂ
âThen, when Iâm close to cumming, you can eat me out, get me there, then fuck me stupid for your own release.â
âItâs funny,â Hyuck chuckles, âHere I thought I was the horny one calling you and trying to be a creep, but youâre the one with the dirty mouth and the great ideas.â
âYeah, your whole Black Christmas thing really wasnât the best idea Iâve ever heard,â you tease.
âHow many times do I have to admit it was a shitty plan but I just wanted to get close to you?â
âAt least once more.â
âFine. Now flip around, loll your head off my bed, let me put my cock down your throat and pinch your nipples while you toy with your cute pussy.â
âHow do you know my pussy is cute?â you ask. âYou haven't even seen it yet.â
âIâve been imagining, baby, and as a film major, my imagination is pretty fucking good.â
You giggle, getting into position for Hyuck. He stands near your head as you loll it off the side of the bed, and you get a good view of his bulge straining in his jeans.
âYouâre excited,â you muse, cupping him through the denim.
âWho wouldnât be?â he laughs, undoing his button, then the zipper. âFuck, you look so good laid out like this.â
âYeah?â You pull the top of your dress down, releasing your boobs.
âFuuuuuck,â Hyuck groans, pausing his motions on his jeans to reach down and massage your newly exposed breast. âI knew your tits would be perfect.â
You moan at the feeling of his warm hands. His fingers pinch at your nipple and your moan turns into a whine. âFeels good.â
âYou feel good,â he counters.
âGet your cock out,â you instruct, feeling impatient.
âStart rubbing your pussy,â Hyuck retorts with a laugh.
âYes, sir,â you respond teasingly, reaching one of your hands down to your thighs. You slip it under your dress, deciding on taking your panties off alltogether.Â
Hyuck continues to massage you as you pull off your thong.Â
You canât help yourself, you toss it at him, and Hyuck lets go of your breast in favour of catching it. âFuck, these are cute,â he says, admiring your panties.
âI knew Iâd be getting laid.â
His tone shifts to the darker, more annoyed side of things. âYeah?â
âAnd donât get all angsty, I knew Iâd be fucking you tonight.âÂ
âThatâs what I like to hear,â Hyuck grins, putting your panties in his pocket before he undoes his jeans, shifting them down his thighs.
The fucker isnât wearing underwear, and you get a good view of his cock for the first time.
âFuck, dude, you werenât lying when you said you were thick,â you muse, licking your lips.
âIâd never lie to you about my cock,â he laughs.
You slip one hand between your thighs, stroking your wet core- itâs crazy how turned on you are from this, but part of you thinks this has been building for a while- for a week, actually.
Hyuck strokes his cock, looking down at you. âReady for this?â he asks.
âPut it in my mouth,â you command, opening wide for him.
âIf Iâm going to deep, push my thigh,â he tells you as he slips his cock past your lips.
You moan a sound of affirmation around him, immediately beginning to suck on his tip, getting used to his size before you take more.
Hyuck is surprisingly gentle with how much heâs allowing you to take. If you hadnât been pacing yourself, youâre sure heâd be pacing you of his own accord.Â
One of his hands finds your breast again, pinching the nipple and sending jitters of pleasure down to your throbbing core.
You groan louder around him, sucking more into your mouth as you increase the pressure on your clit.
âThis is so fucking hot,â Hyuck moans, thrusting gently into your mouth so you can lay flat and still, allowing him to do most of the work while you rub your pussy deliciously.
You can only let out a sound of affirmation as he uses your mouth.
With your eyes closed, you can focus fully on the feeling of pleasure thatâs building inside of you.Â
When youâd imagined fucking Hyuck for the first time, this hadnât necessarily been a position at the forefront of your thoughts- but when heâd suggested eating you out, youâd realized this is exactly what youâd wanted.Â
You want to give back to him, want to show him how much youâve appreciated him taking the leap and telling you how he feels- even if it was in some weird, dumb frat boy, phone call kind of way.Â
The way heâs pinching your thighs is actually delicious- and then, you hear him spit, and you feel the cool liquid hit your chest. This time, when he rubs his thumb over your nipple, he spreads his spit across your skin, making it even more intense.
âPart of me just wants to cum on these perfect tits,â he admits.
You make a very clear sound of disagreement, and Hyuck pulls his cock out of your mouth. Youâd been salivating so much that as he moves away, your own saliva drips back down onto your face from his length. You swallow thickly, finding your voice. âNeed you to cum inside of me.â
âFuuuuck,â Hyuck groans, pinching your nipple even harder. âYou and your creampie kink.â
He slips his cock back into your mouth, and you greedily eat him up.
Then he leans further over your body, his fingers joining yours on your core. âYouâre so fucking wet,â he muses, pushing your hand out of your way so he can rub your clit, gently fucking your face as he does so.
Itâs a shallow face fucking, as heâs bent over your laid down body to access your core, but you donât mind.
Your eyes are still closed, and youâre enjoying every sensation, bringing your free hands up to your breasts to massage them and pinch your own nipples.
âYou look so sexy, want you to cum so bad so I can fuck you stupid,â he tells you, rubbing your clit even harder.
You rut your hips up toward his hand, a non verbal motion that tells him youâre close.
God, itâs like heâs been in your pants before- he knows exactly how to stroke and massage your clit-
âAnd youâre still sucking me off so good-â he continues. âAnd grabbing at your tits too, youâre my insatiable little Angel, arenât you?â
You moan deeply around his cock, and Hyuck fucks you a little harder, the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat. You gag around him, feeling tears in your eyes.
âShit, sorry, Angel, fuck, that just felt so good- can I do it again? Can I fuck your throat again?â
You make a sound of affirmation, shocked at how your body had reacted to his cock being fully inside of your mouth. A tingle of excitement had run through you, your nipples getting intensely sensitive, your core throbbing-
Hyuck does it again, hitting the back of your throat, and the same sensation happens. You can feel yourself getting desperately close to the edge, and you hardly have to do anything. Other than pinching your own nipples, Hyuck is the one taking care of you, and you kind of love it.
âI can tell youâre close, Angel,â Hyuck chuckles. âFuck, gonna cum from me fucking your face and rubbing your clit, right?â
You moan desperately, wiggling your hips. Hyuck reads your cue, rubbing your clit even harder.
Now, you canât help but pull off his cock, pushing his thigh to give you a bit of space.
âYou good?â he asks, motions pausing.
âYeah,â you tell him, swallowing thickly as you grab his cock to stroke him off. âJust keep- fuck, keep rubbing me like that, Iâm so close-â
âFuck this,â Hyuck mutters, and all of the sudden, heâs pulling away.
You let out a whine- only for him to spin you on his bed. He sinks to his knees, drawing your core to the edge where your head had just been, then he dives in, his lips immediately suctioning around your clit.
Two fingers push into your aching core and you whimper desperately, grabbing at his hair to keep him on your pussy as he works you closer and closer-
âHyuck-â you cry out, muscles clenching-
One more slurp on your clit has you topping over the edge, entire body electrified by the orgasm surging through you.
You slap a hand over your mouth, trying to muffle your sounds as he works you through your high. He doesnât quit, doesnât pull away- he sucks your clit through your entire high, until your thighs are shaking on his shoulders and youâre on the verge of tears.
âOkay-â you whimper, pushing at his head. âSensitive-â
Hyuck finally lets up. You open your eyes to watch him stand, pulling his fingers from your core and sliding them into his own mouth.
âYou taste just like Halloween candy, baby,â he muses, eyes clouded with lust.
âI wanna taste,â you whisper.
Hyuck pushes his jeans completely off, and then he gets on top of you, smashing his lips to your own. The flavour of your pussy is hot on his tongue, and it invades your senses, driving you wild as you kiss him deeper, threading your fingers through his hair.
His cock nudges between your pussy lips as he grinds down against you, rocking his hips.
âFuck me,â you tell him, moving your mouth to suck on his ear lobe.
âShit,â Hyuck groans, shivering from the sensation of your tongue on his ear. âWant you naked first.â
He pulls away just long enough to tug your dress up and over your head, then he returns to his spot, his cock rutting against your core once more.
The two of you have been friends forever. Hyuck knows you have an IUD, heâd been there for you when youâd gotten it last year, when youâd just wanted to stay in bed and rot for a few days. Thereâs no need to discuss birth control or safety- all thereâs left to do, is have his thick cock fill you in ways youâve been wanting all week.
Hyuck adjusts, grabbing his base so he can push his tip into your throbbing hole.
âFuck,â you whimper in his ear, clutching his shoulders as he pushes an inch into you.
âYou good?â he asks, breath hot on your throat.
âSo good,â you respond, locking your legs around his hips.
He pushes deeper into your pussy, and your core welcomes him in, walls stretching to accommodate his thick cock.Â
Hyuck bottoms out, and you both groan deeply. He forces his lips onto your own again, and itâs a clash of teeth and tongues.
Itâs animalistic in the best sort of way- like youâve both been caged up for as long as youâve known each other, and youâre finally letting your beasts out to do the most primal thing imaginable.
There are no thoughts in your mind as Hyuck begins to fuck you, thereâs only you, him, and this intense feeling of pleasure.
You feel so connected to him- missionary isnât always the most fun position, but with Hyuck, it feels right. It feels like this was meant to be your first time together, face to face, lip locked, breathing each other in, moaning desperately as he takes you as his own.
âFuck,â Hyuck groans, gently biting on your lip. âYour pussy is taking me so fucking well- first your mouth, now this- how do you expect me to last long?â
âI donât,â you giggle. âYou made me cum so hard on your tongue, Iâm about ready to be filled with your cum and then lay here.â
âIâm gonna cuddle the shit out of you after this.â
âYou better,â you grin.
Hyuck smiles against your lips, kissing you again as he fucks you even harder.
The stretch of his girthy cock is unlike anything else- and it feels like heaven as he pounds you into his mattress.
âRub your clit?â he suggests.
âI canât- I canât cum again,â you whimper, still sensitive from your first orgasm.
âIâll have to train you to cum more after this,â he promises.
You can only grin, drawing his lips to your own again as he uses you to find the ends of his own pleasure.
His whimpering sounds are like music to your ears- fuck, Hyuck is too hot to even imagine. Had this guy really been one of your best friends for this long without you ever exploiting this?
Youâre so fucking happy heâd called you and been weird all week- it was the perfect foreplay, and now, youâre completely enraptured by him.
âShit,â Hyuck groans.Â
âYou close, baby?â you ask.
âFuck, call me baby again.â
âBaby,â you whimper, âyour cock feels so good in my tight pussy.â
Hyuck moans even louder.Â
âJust like that,â you encourage him, tightening your legs on his hips. âKeep doing that- right there-â The tip of his cock is hitting the perfect spots inside of you, and youâre gasping from the feeling, burrowing your face in his throat and panting against his skin.
âShit, Angel-â
âCum for me, baby, cum in my pussy,â you urge him.
Thatâs all it takes for him to explode, letting out a deep groan as he releases deep inside your core, coating your walls with him.
His thrusts falter, his breathing laboured, entire body shivering-
You stroke the back of his head, cooing in his ear, helping him through it until heâs finished, coming to a stop ontop of you and breathing heavily.
âGood boy,â you tease.
Hyuck lets out a deep chuckle, and it turns into a sigh. âYouâre going to be the death of me.â
âAnd youâd love that.â
âI would,â he admits. âOkay, fuck, Iâm gonna pull out, gonna grab some tissues and sweat pants- we can head to the bathroom down the hall and hopefully clean up a little, then weâre gonna cuddle.â
âSounds like a plan to me,â you grin, laying there as he groans and gets off of you, following through with his intentions.
Soon, cum is being wiped from your pussy and youâre being helped into sweatpants.
The two of you exit his room, and youâre very pleased to see that most of the party is downstairs, leaving his floor pretty vacant.Â
You make your way to the bathroom with him, clutching his hand.
Once there, you both clean up, and you listen to Hyuck splash water on his face while you pee, making sure all his cum is out of you.
The two of you make it back to his room, collapsing into bed. He pulls you to his chest, cuddling you close.
âBefore I pass out⌠how did you know it was me on the phone?â he asks.
âOut of everyone in the frat, you idolize Johnny the most. It wasnât a reach that youâd recreate his Ghostie thing last year. On top of that, youâre a film major, you know horror movies better than anyone else. And, youâre a horny fucker, which is something Iâve always loved about you- I just⌠I needed you to make a move, which you never really did, until now. It just⌠made sense that it was you. The way we talk to each other, I could tell it was you from the very first call.â
âHere I was, thinking I was all suave and shit.â
âYou were very suave, baby,â you grin, pressing a kiss to the underside of his jaw.
âHappy Halloween, Angel.â
You giggle. âHappy Halloween.âÂ
âď¸Â mlist + an. thank you for reading! find my other nct frat fics (including Ghostie) HERE. I made this meme for this fic because it's so them.
đ support me by. sending a tip here or here - or become a patron to access monthly bonus content and extensions for fics like this one :) find the Patreon teaser below!Â
đŽ preview. âSo, Iâm gonna finger fuck you stupid,â he explains, pushing his digits back into you. âAnd then, Iâm going to apply pressure, right here-â Hyuckâs hand smooths across your abdomen, even the slightest push makes you feel his fingers deep in your core, and you release a whine of pleasure. âYeah, youâre going to love this,â he confirms with a grin.Â
cw/ tw. Unprotected sex, oral ( f receiving), pussy worship, fingering, multiple reader orgasms, overstim, squirting, dirty talk, praise, Hyuck holds the reader down by her abdomen, etc⌠I petnames: (y/nâs) Angel. (his) Baby.Â
đšÂ rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 2.4k I teaser wc. 220
đ staring. Haechan x afab!reader
bonus
You love Hyuck, you do- but sometimes (especially when watching movies) he has this tendency to⌠well, never shut up.
âOkay so, coming up, when the alien pops out of his body, the director didnât tell anyone this was going to happen, so when Sigourney Weaver and the others react, itâs genuine shock and surprise-â
You love his facts too, you do⌠but⌠sometimes, they get a bit much.
âBaby,â you coo, cuddling closer to your boyfriend, âCan we just⌠watch the movie?â
âWe are watching the movie.â
âI mean⌠God, Iâm going to sound like a bitch, but can we get through like⌠ten minutes without a fun fact?â
âBut⌠my fun facts are fun.â
âThey are, baby, they are,â you assure him, patting his chest, âI justâŚâ you sigh, âten minutes?â
âI can think of a distraction for my mouth,â Hyuck grins.
Your pussy immediately flutters, picking up on what heâs saying. âYeah? Donât you want to watch the movie?â
âIâve seen it a billion times.â His hand rubs your shoulder and he nuzzles against your cheek, breath hot on your skin. âCome on, let me eat out your pretty pussy. Iâve been wanting to overstim you for a hot minute- I think I could get three or four out of you while youâre watching.â
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#haechan#haechan smut#donghyuck#donghyuck smut#lee haechan#lee haechan smut#lee donghyuck#lee donghyuck smut#nct#nct smut#nct 127#nct 127 smut#nct dream#nct dream smut#haechan nct#nct haechan#nct haechan smut#haechan nct smut
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hmmm.... thoughts about composer!reader, whose pieces are always created for and featured in mr reca's films/projects.
people aren't sure when it first started, but in the release of one of his prior films was an ost. of course, it's not unusual to have music in such projects, but that one had felt... different, somehow â in the way its composition struck the chords of many, with billions across the cosmos instantly scouring for who made that piece.
it, of course, didn't take all that long when your name was featured in the credits. however there was barely any information aside from your name and credentials. (seriously, how could there not even be a single photo?!) no one knew what you looked like for quite a long time, only ever recognising your name and your music; even despite the numerous interviews, mr reca had never disclosed anything about you other than your talents. it came to a point where everyone believed they would never see your appearance.
well, until all hell broke loose during the annual intergalactic film awards, that is.
everyone already knew the drill â if mr reca had directed a film that year, it would undoubtedly win the adapted/original screenplay, cinematography, directing, production design, sound, music (original score and song), and film of the year awards, which also led to you winning both the music awards. usually, the composers would be the ones to collect said awards. however, the masses have become used to mr reca being the one to collect them on your behalf with thank you's also on your behalf.
that's how it's been ever since you made your mark in the universe, and so it really is understandable the uproar created by those in and out of attendance when the one who went collect the two awards wasn't the esteemed director, but a completely unfamiliar person; you.
you are definitely younger than they originally thought, having believed it must have been someone of a senior status of sorts to have consistently created such masterpieces. all eyes are trained on you as you step on stage and into the limelight for the first time, the light enhancing your features and formal attire when approaching the mic with a small flashcard in hand. your mouth opens, and the audience leans in with baited breaths as they await your first words.
...only for nothing to come out.
everyone watches a little dumbfounded as you try to talk once more but, aside from gaping like a fish, your efforts remain futile. it doesn't take long for you to clamp your mouth and eyes shut, even raising the awards in front of you in an attempt to shield your face from the crowd.
you... you were just really shy. or maybe a little...socially awkward, perhaps...? if this was the reason you never showed yourself, then they're beginning to understand why...
it passes in a blur â quite literally in that of brown. one moment you are alone on the stage, the next you have the presence of the renown director standing slightly in front of you, as though acting as a shield from the many prying eyes.
"apologies," he begins, his usual smile on display, "but my dearest composer has been suffering with a sore throat these past few days. on their behalf, we thank you all kindly for your support in our work."
and then he swiftly leaves with you tucked under and shielded by his coat, murmuring unreadable words to you as you both disappear backstage and leave everyone in a state of frenzy; to both those inside the ceremonial hall, and to those watching live elsewhere.
(it was only discovered after the awards ceremony concluded what the director had said to you, with the uploader being dubbed as a holy saint for their contributions to society. while the visual aspects of the video itself were not the clearest, barely anyone had it within themselves to complain when the audio was clear as crystal:
"and here i thought you were going to be brave and face your stage fright after all that pep-talk you gave yourself on the way here."
"i'm sorry... i really thought i could do it this time..."
"now, now, i'm merely teasing. you made a big step just making an appearance here today. i know how much courage this took for you, and i'm proud of you for facing it."
"really...?"
"but of course. i'm always proud of you, [name]. there is not a moment where i haven't been.")
(it also was not long until the cosmos was taken by storm when various pictures snapped during the awards ceremony spread. the millions of candids featuring you were one of the most liked and shared, with the top spot joined by the sequence of pictures taken of mr reca's soft expression when watching you onstage, into his realisation of your predicament, into him running onstage and shielding you from the cameras when making your way backstage.)
(...the drastic influx of fan accounts dedicated to both you alone and to you and reca should really be a studied phenomenon.)
#sophie talks : concepts <3#also reader plays the paino for reca when coming up with original scores and songs while he merely gazes with sickeningly soft and#lovestricken eyes while adding his own thoughts to the composition and sometimes playing alongside you and i think thats very very sweet#but um... this was supposed to be a one or two paragraph brainrot đ§ââď¸and now its a fic đ§ââď¸ why does this always happen đ§ââď¸#man... smth has happened to me since mr reca became real... the brain has been rewired.... ohjg#okay but anyWAY composer!reader x mr reca would be such a cute concept and i have many many thoughts on their bg and dynamic ;w;#mr reca x reader#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#mr reca x you#honkai star rail x you#hsr x you
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Writing Female Fighters
The Heroine Must. Fight.
Today's female protagonists cannot sit on the side crying and breaking down or whimpering as the battle ensues.
Readers want to see autonomous female fighters who can at least defense themselves with courage and adequate skill.
Not all women are the same, but the heroine should get her butt moving.
Less Muscle, but More Flexibilty
The average woman is shorter than the average man, which makes it more difficult to wield a long sword or slam something down on the opponent's head.
A woman who works out can plausibly be stronger than a male couch potato, but if her male counterpart works out as much as her, the man is going to be much stronger.
On the other hand, the center of gravity in a woman's body is lower than a man's which makes it harder to knock her off her feet.
She is also more flexible, which gives her advantage in grappling fights, making use of complex landscapes, or deflecting blows.
A woman's small size can also be an advantage if her opponent has only ever trained with male opponents. His big hands might not get a good grip on her slender limbs.
In historical fiction, giving your heroine good muscule build can be tricky as exercise was generally considered harmful for women, with some exceptions for horseriding any maybe archery at best.
In such cases, make your heroine an accomplished dancer or an eager horsewoman, or the only girl whose father considered to be son replacement and thus, gave her a boy's education.
Women of lower classes who couldn't afford to be fashionably weak will be plausibly stronger, perhaps even more than an idle gentleman.
More Room for Negotiation, but Prolonged Ruthlessness
In the Suspense part of your fight scene, females are more likely to negotiate and talk more, strategically trying to descalate the situation rather than attacking on a momentary impulse.
Generally, women are less aggressive than men and remain level-headed longer than her male counterparts, opting for non-violent methods first before using force.
Exceptions apply if she is trying to protect her children (or someone who she cares for as a child). Mothers can be tigresses.
A female pre-fight conversation may be: "If you had not done so-and-so and betrayed me with so-and-so, we could have been good friends as I thought we would be." "What do you mean? It was in fact you who brought bad blood between us. I can still hear you laughing with so-and-so, taunting me, purposefully making me look bad -" "But that was so long ago! If you want me to say sorry about something so insignificant, you should have just said so: I'm sorry. There. Satisfied?" "Ha! I can't believe you say that so easily. You still don't get it, do you?" "Who's being petty and unreasonable now?"
A male pre-fight conversation will be shorter: "Who's the coward now?" "You're wrong." "Prove it." "Bastard."
Compared to men, it will take more time for a woman's fight hormones (adrenaline, neurotransmitters and such) to kick in.
She would be slower to engage initially, throwing reluctant punches and thinking, but she'll grow more and more violent and lose all rational thought and compassion, and once she's in full flow, may not stop even when her opponent begs for mercy.
When writing a male-female duo, you can show him going for the first blow while she observes and strategizes first. When he's past his peak and panting, she is flying about left and right. Later when the tension wears off and she becomes wobbly and teary, she can rely on him to have recovered faster and distract other teammates so that they won't see her cry.
Plausible Skills and Backstory
In many cultures and time periods, the general attitude of society towards girls is that they have no place in fist fights or martial arts, unlike how it is encouraged for boys of the same age. So if your heroine has physical prowess that surpasses typical 'fitness' or is hidden, build a backstory of how she's obtained it.
For modern heroines, it can be as simple as signing her up for martial arts classes or yearly membership at the local gym. For historical fiction or girls with strict 'feminine' upbringing, it can be trickier.
It can be related to profession: maybe she was an erotic wrestler, catfighter, or an assasin who thought killing was more honorable than prostitution. They may have dabbles with it for a short time and is now trying to hide their past from their respectable employer or fiance.
It can be family backstory: Perhaps her mother was an accomplished martial artist or she had to fend for younger siblings on the streets from an early age. Maybe she was the only girl in a family of many boys who refused to be the punching bag.
Inexperienced Female Fighters
A woman with no fighting experience or training is likely to resort to one of these on instinct:
Try to talk herself out of the situation, attempting to persuade or negotiate for her life.
Grab something to use as a weapon. This instinct seems to be stronger for women than it is in men.
Use her hands to try and break free, or kick (often wth little success)
Pull hair
Scratch.
In a serious fight, pulling hair and scratching won't be helpful, except when the police come to find her body, they would find the opponent's DNA under her fingernails.
Plausible Weapons and Clothing
All of the above applies to scenes where both parties have no weapons, or has the bare minimum (like one dagger each).
Weapons are equalizers, and if your heroine is pointing a gun at her opponent she will definitely NOT hesitate to be the one to shoot first.
When giving your female character a weapon, choose one she can plausibly use. It would take an unusually brawny woman to wield a great medieval longsword.
For historical fiction, give your heroine something she'll plausibly own. Swords and firearm were a no-go for women, but archery was borderline acceptable.
For clothing starters, you definitely CAN NOT dress her in a tight miniskirt and chainmail bra with long, flowy hair and multiple silver chockers. Unless she's trying to seduce her way into her opponent's bedroom, and he has a chainmail bra fetish.
A practical heroine will have her thighs covered, preferably with leather but at least with fabric, since a lot of blood flows through the thighs and a slash would be critical.
She'll keep her hair tied, tucked under a helmet, braided back, etc. so that it won't impede her vision.
She'll support her breasts with a strong sport bra. In a historical eprioid, she'll either tie her breasts tight with a fabric bandage or support them with some kind of leather corset.
Invent a female version of male fighter clothing of the time you are writing about if it doesn't exist.
If you like my blog, buy me a coffeeâ and find me on instagram! đ¸
#writing#writers on tumblr#helping writers#creative writing#let's write#poets and writers#writeblr#writers and poets#resources for writers#creative writers#fight scene#female fighter#female warrior#writer on tumblr#writer community#writer stuff#writer things#writer problems#writing process#writing prompt#writing inspiration#writing advice#writing ideas#writing community#on writing#writer#writerscommunity
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thoughts on shifting + manifesting with ease. (as someone who's shifted many times, alongside manifesting)
coming back to this side of tumblr after spending years away from it has made me realized how many of you are truly the problem, it might sound kinda harsh but really. so many of you ask the same questions over and over again.. "but HOW do i do it?" "how do i shift" "how do i manifest" JUST DO IT. stop looking for signs, stop looking for methods or "cheat codes". just do it man.
your mind is so powerful and it actually kinda irritates me how many of you doubt it, just because it "seems to easy". you don't understand how you've been manipulated by society to not see your power. how have you been on loa social media, shifting social media, for soooo long â yet still don't see it?? let me tell you..
the moment i got off social media, the moment i took time to erase everything in my head and stop overthinking everything, was the moment everything came to me. i already had it, i just needed to stop telling myself i didn't.
it took me barely any time to get used to convincing myself i had everything i wanted, i shifted to my desired realities, and everything worked out in my favour. AFFIRMING IS ALL YOU NEED. I AM YELLING AT YOU. JUST AFFIRM.
really, please, affirm. the routine is so simple.
1. any bad thought is instantly turned positive.
ex: "i really want her waist"
to
"am i stupid ... i have her waist.. tbh mine even looks a little better.. am i crazy?? like actually? this must be a glitch or something cause my waist is practically identical to hers.. i literally love my waist"
exaggerate, say what you need to say to erase the negativity.
2. it's yours, so act like it..
ex: talk about ur DR normally. it's your reality, not a fantasy land you made up in a dream. ITS REAL. it's a reality. for example, i'd watch videos of my s/o in this reality, and speak about our lives in my dr. "i can't wait to see __ tonight... god i love __, it's so nice hanging out with them everyday.. wow they look so pretty in this video â i'm so lucky their mine". it's natural, they're yours aren't they? exactly, so act like it.. this is used the exact same way when manifesting..
you see someone with something you want? thinking of something you wanna do? something you wanna be? ... it's urs... so can you act like it?? like whyre u feeling sad someone else got a job promotion đšđš you literally got a better one ...
3. that's literally it
you don't need a fancy method (although it can give u some peace of mind.. let's be real, a lot of methods set y'all back and make you overwhelmed, blocking ur beliefs and making everything seem harder). you literally just need to live. tell yourself it's done, over and over again. nothing matters. it's done, it's yours, you have it, you're happy and fulfilled. other peoples sucess should really mean nothing to you negatively. it shouldn't make you stressed, shouldn't make you feel behind.. why would it when you have everything, you can do everything, go anywhere, and you can be anything.
it'll seem like manifesting blogs and shifting blogs just repeat the same things.. which is true, they do, because i'm telling you there's nothing more to it than what you've already read. it is that easy. all it takes is your mind. decide, and tell yourself.
as i said before, it took me barely anytime to switch my mindset once i actually started focusing on myself, my journey and not every body else's results. repeating stuff to yourself WORKS. repeating is literally ALL i did. choose what i want, told myself it's mine in any way i could describe it. and there, it's mine. ive shifted to many different realities, along side gaining a better life in this one after years of convincing myself there was nothing for me. if i can break out of the cycle, trust me you can too. i cannot describe how desperate i was at the beginning, how long i took in false info and wasted time on methods all while doubting every single thing.
so why don't you believe it? you'll sit there and tell yourself over and over again that you're ugly, or broke, or friendless... but you won't tell urself that you've shifted? that you have your dream body...? girl okay i guess....
once you realize nothing besides your mind truly matters, is when you'll be free with yourself. circumstances don't matter, past feelings don't matter, doubts don't matter, your mind is all you need.
yes this is just loa explained longer, that's the point of the post because some of u still can't get it in ur heads
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When I met you: Chapter 1 âPackageâ
Fem! Reader x Neighbor! Hwang In-Ho
Main Master list
Squid Game Master list
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Genre/Tags: Grumpy x Sunshine, Light smut, Fluff, Angst, Slow burn, Age gap (Reader is in her early 30âs, While In-Ho is in his late 40âs.) Rude In-Ho (but will eventually be soft with the reader Soon!) Literature Professor! In-Ho (Not specified what kind of literature) More Tags to come soon!
Warnings: Rude In-Ho, Some mild cursing, In-Hoâs stubborn cat Lmao, Not proof read so please bear with me.
Word Count: 1989
Author's Note: I've been writing this since earlier this morning, I was so intrigued about the song and I can't help but think 'Why not do a fiction story about In-Ho using this song as an inspiration?' then here am I, publishing the first chapter of the said fiction, I'll try to make this a long series! đ¤
< Series Master list | Next >
You worked as a graphic designer for some big company, even though you worked from homeâyou enjoyed what you were doing; you're a person who doesn't like to interact with so many people, except your friends, family, or someone who's close to you.
You've been working as a graphic designer for 3 years. You've gained enough money to buy a houseâit's perfect for you, 2 bedrooms with one bathroom eachâa cozy living room, kitchen, and a backyard that you turned into a garden. But honestly, it's too much for what you do for a living, but again, you're more than grateful.
You visit your hometown once in a while to spend some time with your parents and friends; you're more than happy to have them support you in the path that you chose. Whenever you visit, your mom always cooks your favorite dishes, while your dad, wellâŚhe always teases you about settling down. Honestly, seeing yourself being in a relationship is crazy; you're a busy person, and you're afraid that you might end up with someone who's not fit for your job and likings.
âSweetheart, it's justâŚyou're too devoted to your job. I know you hate it every time I tell you about this, but there's someone out there for youâwhoâs going to understand your busy days.â Your dad gave you a comforting look. It's true, you're too devoted to what you're doing, and you can't even go out on a date without making an âexcuseâ that you're busy and something has come up, but the truth isâŚyou're just afraid. Afraid that no one will love you for being a busy person, and it sucks.
You gave your dad a shy smile. âI know... I just think that it's not the right time; he'll come when the time is right.â
And that's where your grumpy neighbor showed up. He's tall; he looked old and surprisingly handsome for someone his age. He knocked on your door one night. You were reading a book called âInferno' by Dante Alighieri. You're so intrigued by what you're reading that you didn't even hear that someone was knocking at your door. You hurriedly put down your book and ran towards the door. You swung the door open, seeing a middle-aged man who's wearing a black button-up shirt and black chino pants. He pushed up his glasses.Â
âAre you deaf or something? I've been knocking since forever.â He annoyingly said, âGood evening to you too.â You said giving him your best fake smile, âI think we switched packages, These aren't mine.â He said, bringing up the two packages in his hand, âOhâŚI didn't knowââ he cuts you off before even finishing your sentence âof course you don't.â He whispered under his breath, âI'llâŚI'll go get yours I'll be back in a sec.â You said as you took your package in his hand as you slammed your door shut right at his face.
You sigh as you close the door, feeling embarrassed by your actions. âHe deserves it,â you thought. You went to your room and grabbed the unopened package; you checked the name, making sure it's not really yours.
âHwang In-HoâŚâ you read the name on the parcel, liking how his name sounds.Â
You went downstairs and opened the door, seeing the man leaning against your porch railing. âThank God, what took you so long?â he groans. He leans forward as he slowly walks towards you; he looks down on you and rudely takes the package from your grasp. You're stunned at his action but manage to say something: âI'm sorry, Mr. Hwang, it won't happen again. Have a good evening.â You said, giving him a shy smile; his eyes softened upon hearing his name. âRight, good evening to you too,â he said as he turned around and walked towards his home.
You noticed his reaction when you said his name; was he expecting you to say it?
Did you catch him off guard? You just chuckled to yourself and closed the door behind you as you walked to your bedroom to continue reading your book.
Meanwhile, In-Ho sat on his couch, staring at the package that he set down on his coffee table, âHwang In-Ho,â he read in his mind. He scoffed; of course you would know his name; it's written on the damn parcel. He groans as he palms his face, âFuck,â he grumbles. He quickly gets his mind off of you, on how good your voice sounds saying his name, the way you would give him a shy and innocent glance even though he's being rude to you. He finds it cute. But at the same time, he feels badâbut deep down he doesn't care; you're just another annoying neighbor that would give him nothing but pure hatred.Â
The next day
You woke up holding a book in your hand. Great, you fell asleep again. You sigh as you sit up, lightly scratching your eyes as you yawn, making you stretch your arms in the air, groaning in response. You went to the bathroom and took a warm shower, getting ready for today.
In-Ho groans in his sleep, and as his alarm clock goes on, making him reach for his phone to turn it off, he sits up, grabbing his glasses as he goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth. He went to the kitchen to make his morning coffee, a classic Americano. The aroma of the coffee beans filled the air; it made him feel alive. He sighed as he poured his fresh brewed coffee into his mug.Â
You went out from the shower, drying yourself off before putting on comfortable shorts and a t-shirt. You went to the kitchen to make your morning coffee. You and In-Ho brew your coffees the same; you both like black coffee. Some may hate it because of the bitter taste, but the difference between you and In-Ho is that In-Ho doesn't put sweetener in his coffee; he just likes pure black coffee, while you⌠you drink your coffee with 2 tablespoons of sugar in it.
You went outside to sit on the bench on your porch while you drank your coffee as you held your book in your right hand. You like doing this every morning; it's calm and peaceful. Not until In-Ho walks by your house do you watch him walk by; it looks like he just woke up too. He's wearing a dark blue t-shirt and comfortable pantsâa pair of loafers too. You can't help but notice how fit he is, how his biceps fit on the sleeve of his shirt, how broad his shoulder is. Before you could think of anything, you snapped yourself out of it as you noticed that he's holding a leash... of a cat? You smiled as you saw In-Hoâs black cat. The fur of his cat is gorgeous. It was unexpected to see In-Ho with a pet cat. After your interaction with him last night, you somewhat thought of him as a person who doesn't care about anyone except himselfâŚand, well, his cat too.Â
You didn't notice that you've been looking at In-Ho for a while, he looks at your direction as he adjusts his glasses, god he looks so good with those glassesâŚyou blushed and felt a little embarrassed, you pretend to read and quickly drink your coffee, Meanwhile, In-Ho chuckled at your reactionâHe somewhat finds himself admiring you, the way you had your hair into a messy bun, the way your t-shirt hugged all your curves, your soft skinâŚhe wondered how would your skin feels like under his touch, he imagined you lightly shivering upon his touch, he snapped himself from thinking something else as his cat, Yu-jin, leading him to your porch, he tried to pull his cat away but Yu-jin decided to be stubborn and ran towards your porch making your eyes widen, you smiled at In-Hoâs reactionâheâs shocked and decided to let his cat Yu-Jin walks towards you, usually his cat doesn't really care about people, just like him.Â
âAren't you a cute little oneâ!â You crouched in front of In-Ho's cat, who seemed happy to see a new person besides his dad, In-Ho. The cat purred and circled around your legs. âThat's odd,â In-Ho mumbled. âOdd? â You looked up at In-Ho, who's looking at his cat still circling around your legs. âHe never does that to other people,â he said coldly, not even bothering to look at you. âOhâmaybe he likes me! â You said, ruffling the cat's fur as he lay on his back, making you rub its belly, âHe's so preciousâwhatâs his name? â You again looked at In-Ho, who was looking at you but quickly glanced away and said, âYu-jin.â âYu-jinâŚâ you tested the cat's name on your lips, âIt's cuteâHi, Yu-Jin! â You cupped the cat's face. âHe's so adorable, In-Hoââ You looked at In-Ho, who gave you a look as he looked down on you, still crouching in front of him. âFuck,â he thought. âHow did you know my name? â He mumbled, so low it almost sounded like a whisper, âWhat?â âForget it.â He said as he crouched down, picking up Yu-Jin in his arms, making his hands slightly brush yours. You took a glance at his hands; they're so beautiful. The veins in his hands looked attractive; it felt so smooth against yours⌠He also smells like coffee, your favorite coffee.
And just like that he left without even saying anything, leaving you crouching down on your porch. You sighed as you stood up, grabbing your book and your coffee before going inside the house.
In-Ho puts down Yu-Jin far enough from your house. âThat's newâŚyou've never been like that to anyone,â he said as if Yu-Jin could understand what he was saying. They went to a vet, to check up on Yu-Jin, In-Ho treats his cat like his own child, Going to a vet at least once a week, vet means new toy for Yu-Jin, And let's not forget the treats that Yu-Jin would get on the way home, But not that he doesn't want a kid or whatever, he just never really thought of falling in love, he thinks that being in love with someone takes so much time and energy, He also thinks that no one would put up with his attitude and stubbornnessâheâs also a professor, a busy one, he doesn't even bother to flirt back with his colleagues at the University who's been hitting on him since he stepped foot in that university, perhaps Yu-Jin is the only one who he needs to go through with everyday.Â
While waiting for Yu-Jin and his vet, he thought of you, âDamn it.â He whispered to himself. He remembered how your face looked when you were crouching down. In front of him while playing with Yu-Jin. How beautiful your smile is; he wonders how old you are, what you do for a living, but he also remembered having a book on the bench on your porch. He tried to remember what book it is, but the book cover looks familiar. He grabbed his phone and searched for something: Dante Alighieriâs book. He pressed the search button, and multiple books of the said author showed up, but he managed to find that book that you're reading earlier. âInferno,â he thought; he couldn't help but smile to himself. It's his favorite book; it's one of the reasons that he teaches as a literature professor. He's not expecting someone like you would be reading a book like this; it surprised him. He can't help but regret being rude to you; you're such a kind and gentle person. He thought of at least being nice with youâjust enough for you and him to have a good relationship with each other as neighbors.
Author's Note: Omg I wasn't expecting to publish a fiction regardless of me panicking about my first semester school worksâBut please let me know what you think, I would really like to make this a big series. I love In-Ho/Byung Hun so much he's way too precious! Let me know if you want to be in my taglist. đ¤
#hwang in ho#lee byung hun#player 001#squid game#the front man#oh young il#squid game netflix#001#001 squid game#squid game season 2#inho x you#inho x reader#in ho x reader#hwang inho#frontman x you#frontman x reader#young il x reader#young il#001 x you#hwang in ho x reader#hwang in ho x you#lee byung hun x reader#Spotify
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Spicy astro observations pt. II
This post is for +18 readers onlyđ
work by astrobydalia
If youâre new to astrology you should know that Mars is sex drive but Venus rules desire and pleasure. In mythology, Venus was considered the goddess of erotic love and hedonistic desire. Venus in your chart also indicates how and what type of things you enjoy and find pleasure in, so this planet can be very telling of the type of vibe that gets you in the mood
Personally, my take on this is:
Mars = how you like the fucking to be
Venus = how you like the treatment to be
Venus+Mars = how you like sex overall
Pluto/Scorpio in the 12th house often times have shameful sexual experiences and/or sexual affairs that nobody will ever know about
Mutable Mars are the ones that tend to have a rather depraved or perverted sex drive. They're just down for almost anything
I've noticed your moon sign reaaaaally shines through in sex. Like, a lot. For example Aries moons love the "right here right now" kinda sex and tend to be really fond of bold and nonchalant advances. Gemini Moon like to switch. Love to be surprised and loves teasing/mindgames. Capricorn moons will dominate, etc
Not be stereotypical but⌠Aries Mars will fuck anyone anywhere anytime. Will really go from 0 to 100 literally anytime. They like to fuck around but are loyal in a relationship from what Iâve seen. Every single one Iâve met was the kinda person to be very nonchalant when discussing sex, will be very vocal about being horny, their experiences, etc
Scorpio mars đ¤ lowkey behaving like a sexual predator with the person theyâre interested in đ I swear their behaviors can get creepy if theyâre attracted to you. Someone i know with this placement was asked why she was still single and she jokingly replied âguess I havenât found a prey yetâ
Mercury in the 1st house/Mercury dominant/Gemini placements you guys seriously need to STOP smirking at me like that and making me laugh or else I wonât be responsible for what happens next
>>No but seriously people forget how universally attractive mercurial energy really is. Sexual arousal starts in the brain and these mf know how to charm and enchant and they just naturally have a very endearing energy to them. Many sex symbols and models have gemini placements (Marilyn Monroe, Naomi Campbell, Megan Fox, Jennifer Lopez...)
Taurus Moon/Mars/Venus enjoy slow and possessive sex. With them you can expect hickeys, lip biting, grabbing parts of your body...
Scorpio Venus/Mercury could have a degrading kink 𫢠specially when mixed with Virgo placements. They love filthiness of being treated like/treating their partner like a little hooker
Mars-Neptune people get sexually aroused by pain, but they usually like their partner inflicting pain to them, not necessarily inflict pain to their partner
Ive noticed Virgo Mars don't necessarily wish to dominate but they can tend to end up taking the lead in bed. They want to please and âdo a good jobâ so they often be like âdonât worry babe I got this"
Women with Lilith aspecting ASC/Sun = "the only kinda girl they see is a one-night or a wife". They felt like everyone wanted to touch them but nobody wanted to love them. Those suitors who did want to "love" them thought of the Lilith person as someone who needs "taming" through marriage or only saw them as a sexual trophy. Kinda like Cassie from Euphoria. This is why I've very commonly seen these women usually take a long time to actually marry or be in a serious relationship
Iâve said this before too but as per my observation Lilith women Iâve seen didnât really have a dark and sexual look/personality to them at all, quite the opposite they all had very angelic vibe/appearance specially when younger. But underneath all this innocent energy there was always something about them that was blatantly seductive and desirable so people project this Lilith persona onto them. Itâs almost like society corrupts them and only sees them as something fuckable
In my experience, when it comes to performance those with domicile or exalted mars tend to overpromise and underdeliver while those with debilitated mars are the opposite (underpromise and overdeliver). Take that as you will.
I'm gonna talk about Pisces for a second cause I'm so sick of all this feet nonsense đđ¤đź
Pisces venus,mars,moon are closed off sexually but will literally let you do anything if you make them feel like itâs safe to surrender to you. These natives always remind me of hentai girls and the ahegao face
Also, I've always thought Anastasia from fifty shades of grey is a great depiction of Pisces Venus (both in and out of the bedroom)
Iâve seen a lot of people saying Pisces could like to have sex while drunk or on drugs but they actually donât need to. Sexual pleasure itself could actually make them feel âdrunkâ or out of it without being under the influence. They overall enjoy feeling out of control of themselves, drunk with desire
Pisces/Neptune/12th house influence on Mars/Venus/Pluto/5th house/8th house, Mars/Pluto ruling 12th house: they are actually hard to please in bed because they desire to experience otherworldly ecstasy and may go out of their way to find it through different things (drugs, alcohol, emotional intimacy, pain, spirituality, etc.), hence the previous observation. They tend push boundaries and enjoy very odd stuff similar to Aquarius but the difference here is that Pisces is not detached, they have a tendency to romanticize any sort of kink and turn it into a deeply intimate experience, all of this as an attempt to take them closer to ecstasy.
Libra placements need to feel like they look pretty while doing it like those romantic sex scenes in movies that's why they like partners who are conventionally attractive. This doesn't necessarily mean they're vanilla but they like to perform in a way that make both parties look flattering, if they or their partner look or act too crazy/wild/messy it can actually turn them off
Also Libra/Taurus/Cancer Venus, Moon, Mars donât like to feel disrespected!!! Doesnât matter what theyâre into sexually, they need their partner to be mindful, caring and appreciative of them and their pleasure in and out of the bedroom
Cancer placements are sooooo passionate in bed much like fire signs but only if they have feelings for you. Also, they aren't always submissive?? Yes they might want to be babied and cared for but depending on other placements they can very much dominate and take the role of care-giver and provider
People associate Neptune to porn and I donât disagree (cause fantasies and stuff), but Iâve noticed itâs actually Mars-Uranus/Aquarius Mars and Uranus/Aquarius in the 8th house the ones who actually wanna have sex like they do in porn. That sort of more kinky, rough and emotionally detached sex
Is it just me or Sagittarius rising women are always involved in some sex scandal and constantly sexualized? I mean Kim K, Paris Hilton, Jennifer Lawrence, Scarlett Johanson⌠I also personally know many Sag rising women who have this ânaughty girlâ reputation iykwim
Venus-Moon aspects in a manâs chart is the womanizer aspect 100%. Same with men with domicile or exalted Venus and/or Moon. Their sex appeal is very charming, non-intimidating and welcoming so women easily feel soothed by their presence. If underdeveloped they will be very cringe and will tend to make inappropriate advances. I've seen this a lot in men who had a habit of objectifying women. They're horny af and don't hide it, tend to go for conventionally attractive women that can provide satisfaction to all their senses and desires
Saturn influence on Venus/Mars are VERY sensual. They like to keep the pacing very steady without losing momentum
Lilith conjunction to inner placements in synastry will always give that cat and mouse dynamics in a relationship. The Lilith person specially will want to often tease, seduce and even play mind-games to the planet person which causes a lot of sexual intrigue
If, like me, you expected fire in the the 8th house to be the most active in bed then you thought WRONG. It's the exact opposite actually. They demand to be pleased and can actually be the type to just sit back and enjoy
Aries Moon/Venus men are huge bottoms (unless chart says otherwise). They are attracted to a very bold and confident woman that can put him in his place
Earth signs are the freakiest actually. Think about it, earth rules the 3D, the tangible physical world, so it makes sense for these signs to be the most attached to sensuality and exploring physical pleasures in different ways. Honestly people with prominent earth (mars, Venus, moon specially) are always SO hot and sexy, they ooze sensuality and I've noticed they tend to be the most generous in bed, they're all about providing baby
Lilith women can be particularly fond of the cowgirl position
Idk why everyone is so hooked up on 8th house synastry for sexual matters and never talk about 12th house. I've seen this overlay a lot more in couples, specially when Mars/Venus/Moon is here. There is A LOT of unspoken tension and attraction, this house overlay is very haunting in all cases from what I've seen, specially for the house person. This person may wake up desires you didn't even know you had and will randomly loom in your memory forever
Scorpio Mars is sexually overrated I said what I said. No, they're not bad in bed but they're definitely not the sexual gods people make them out to be. What's exciting about being with these natives is the energy, anticipation and passion more than anything (also they last a reeeeaaally long time), but once they get in the act they get completely driven by their lust and desire which makes their performance a bit animalistic and reckless. They tend to be the type to go straight into the crotch area and forget any other kind foreplay and stimulation. Being with them will feel like sleeping with a very horny person that is having sex for the very first time in their lives. They're also not as freaky as people make them out to be, sure they're open to trying stuff but idk there's something about them that is low-key a bit conservative and closed off (which is fine)
Virgo, Pisces and Cancer Lilith are the type to act innocent before/during/after doing the most filthy shit
work by astrobydalia
#Spotify#astrology#astro#astro observations#astro notes#zodiac#birth chart#astrobydalia#virgo#astrology observations
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whenever something good happens in this godforsaken country, or any other country in latam, there is always some dipshit saying something about how shamefull it is that the US is losing at progressiveness. I swear to god, people in the global north are so fucking condescendent. You people have not let go of the enlightenment's ideas of progress, as if everyone else is a buch of backwater people taht cannot possibly have complex thoughts about their lives and society.
Argentina has some of the best trans policies in the world, transfeminicide is typified in its law. Transfeminicide is also now typified in Mexico city's law, after the hard efforts of trans women who fought to get this done. The US and many countries in Europe don't even have feminicide typified, which Mexico and many otehr coutnries in Latam ahve had for years. People here organize and figth for their rights despite having to go against the goverment, the police, organized crime and the influence of the global north that actively works to stop progress in the global south for its own interests, often getting killed for it. Did you know Mexico is considered the most dangerous place to be a journalist? And yet people don't stop.
I have sat at meetings with different feminist organizations across Latin America and they are have very profound things to say about these topics in the context of living in wars, under imperialism, with a fragmented identity due to colonization, etc. There is very rich literature on all kinds of social problems that you guys don't know about because it's written in a language you don't speak and your academies have long looked down on. We don't have to learn from you or follow your example, we don't need you.
#us sociology looks down on latin american sociology because the us tends to have a more positivist approach to it#latam's has a way more constructivism approach with very robust literature that often gets ignored even when anglos shift their approach
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New life
Anthony Bridgerton x reader
Summary: Anthony has an argument with his wife, who is from a lower class, when she makes a mistake while promenading with Anthony
(gif is not mine)
Y/n felt like a fish out of water. She didn't grow up in the privileged life that her husband, Anthony, had. Of course her life wasn't bad either, so many others had it worse than her. Y/n was the daughter of well-known merchants, and despite their busy lives where she had to start working as a child to help her family, she was grateful for everything she had.
And then everything changed. Y/n was used to having to speak louder, wipe her hands on her old skirt after touching someone's dirty money, and do manual labor. Until one day, Viscount Bridgerton saw her, and it was love at first sight. A love that was rejected by both for too long.
Anthony was the one who gave in first. He started going to her parents' stall more often, buying things he didn't even need and that others could do for him just so he could look at Y/n. It was indisputable that there was a connection between them. Anthony insisted that they couldn't ignore how they felt about each other, but the girl was afraid. A daughter of merchants marrying into the upper class? It could only go wrong, and to make matters worse it would ruin the reputation of the Bridgerton family. But Anthony made her feel things she never thought she would feel.
Her parents, upon realizing what was happening, warned her of the dangers, but they just wanted to see their daughter happy. In the end, Y/n ended up confessing her love for Bridgerton when he came to her stall saying it would be the last time if she wanted it. Instead of answering him, Y/n took his hand, taking him to an isolated place, where no one could see them, and pulled him into a passionate kiss.
Now, six months after they got married and were living a very happy life together, Y/n was still trying to learn the rules of society. It was a work in progress, and Anthony's mother and sisters helped Y/n a lot, explaining everything she could and couldn't do. There was so much information that she often just followed her instinct, ending up breaking some rules. Fortunately, she had just been among family and hadn't had to listen to anyone's judgment.
It wasn't easy being thrown into high society, dressed in the best dresses that she tried her best not to get dirty, speaking softly, and letting the maids do everything for her. But she would do anything for Anthony, and now she had a lifestyle that many would kill for. She couldn't complain.
âââââ ââ
ââ
â âââââ
It was a sunny day and so, Y/n and Anthony decided to promenade through the park, taking the opportunity to go on a small boat trip. Everything was going well, the woman had fun touching the crystal clear water and watching the fish that fled quickly while Anthony, who was responsible for the physical work, smiled in amusement.
So, they decided to end their afternoon with one last walk through the park to enjoy the last rays of sun, Y/n's hand on Anthony's arm. Y/n was telling him for the thousandth time how excited she was to go play pall mall the next day with the rest of the Bridgerton family. But Anthony never complained and listened attentively and patiently.
But the couple's peace was ruined when a little in front of them, a woman who Y/n quickly recognized as Earl Harrison's wife, was shouting at a maid. She was already old, and was on her knees on the floor trying to clean the woman's expensive dress. People were sending them looks and Y/n felt fury run through her veins when no one intervened, allowing that maid to be basically humiliated in a public square.
She took a step forward, but was pulled back by Anthony, who was holding her hand while sending her a look. "We have nothing to do with this. It's better not to get involved."
Y/n frowned, shaking her head in denial. "No. I'm sorry, Anthony, but I can't do this. But I promise I'll control myself." She then added in a whisper, "If she doesn't irritate me."
"Y/nâŚ"
But Anthony didn't have time to finish his sentence because his wife was already putting on a fake smile, approaching that scene. "Excuse me, what is happening?"
"Lady Bridgerton, look!" the Countess exclaimed while pointing at her maid as if she were an inferior being, noting that she was waiting for Y/n to take her side. "I came to have a picnic on this beautiful day, but this incompetent woman dropped the cake on my dress. It was my favorite!"
"You sound like a child." Y/n said truthfully, not caring about the gasps heard. Anthony sighed behind her.
"Countess Harrinson, I tripped over a stone. My deep apologies, it won't happen again." the maid, still kneeling on the floor, whimpered. The woman rolled her eyes and gave her a small kick, forcing her to move away.
"It won't happen again because you're not coming back with me. I don't accept mistakes, especially like this." The Countess said coldly, while Viscountess Bridgerton became redder and redder with anger.
"But Iâ"
"You know, Countess Harrinson, she won't be coming back to you because she's going to work for Viscount Bridgerton. We'd be happy to have you,âŚ"
"Mary." the maid said, putting her hands to her face and crying. "My apologies. Thank you, Lady Bridgerton. That's very kind of you."
"How dare you!" the Countess exploded in anger. "You just disrespected Earl Harrinson's wife." Anthony's wife continued to look at her indifferently. The other mumbled in frustration, "I'm going to destroy your family's reputation."
"I'd like to see you try." she narrowed her eyes, not looking away from her until the Countess was already well away from them, the other maids hurrying after her. However, the crowd that formed stayed in the exact same place.
"Y/n, what do you think you're doing?" Anthony hissed. "We shouldn't have intervened."
"You can't really expect me to leave her here on the floor. Just because she's a maid doesn't deserve to be treated like this." Y/n snapped angrily at her husband, helping the poor woman to get up from the floor.
"I'm not saying she deserves it." he growled, he too beginning to get unnerved. "But you can't talk to an Earl's wife like that. This is a hierarchy, Y/n."
"If I see someone being mistreated, you can be sure that I will speak however I want to whoever I want."
"Watch it." Anthony warned with his jaw clenched. He looked around, noticing that they were attracting even more looks and attention. People were already starting to murmur among themselves, and Anthony was sure it wouldn't take long for rumors to spread. "Stop it and we'll talk at home."
"Don't treat me like I'm the insolent one." Y/n hissed, pulling her arm away when Anthony tried to pull her closer to him.
The maid seemed to be increasingly panicked, now being the cause of an argument between the Bridgerton couple, who were well known in society. On the other hand, the woman was quite touched by Y/n's kind gesture. In the midst of such an aggressive society, there were people with pure hearts who were not afraid to defend what they believed in.
"We'll talk at home then, Lord Bridgerton." Y/n ended up saying after a few long tense moments in which the two exchanged glares. She straightened her dress and started to walk, but stopped and looked over her shoulder at the maid who was hesitant to follow. "Come on, Mary, when we get to the mansion I'll introduce you to the rest of our maids who I'm sure will help you settle in."
The atmosphere was tense throughout the carriage ride. Anthony and Y/n continued to avoid talking, knowing that an argument would immediately begin. Instead, he seemed to be caught up in his thoughts while his wife was busy talking to Mary, who slowly seemed to be starting to relax.
When the carriage finally stopped, although they were angry with each other, the Bridgerton got out first to help Y/n out, as she was quite clumsy and it wouldn't be the first time she almost fell out of the carriage in her long dresses. .
"My office. We need to talk." he said in a low voice into Y/n's ear who nodded.
"Juliet." the Viscountess Bridgerton called one of the maids. "This is Mary. Please show her her duties and introduce her to the rest of the people. Make sure she feels welcome."
"Of course, Lady Bridgerton."
Finally, the couple was alone, but spirits seemed to still be high. Anthony continued to be frustrated with Y/n because she didn't realize that there was a hierarchy in society, and they couldn't do everything they wanted, or it would harm not only them but the entire family. On the other hand, Y/n felt that Anthony was supporting social injustice, and that no human being should be treated badly just because they are from a lower social class.
"If you're waiting for me to apologize, I won't."
"I'm hoping you realize the gravity of what you just did." Anthony snapped, running a hand over his face with a sigh. "No matter how much it costs you, you have to respect this society and its rules!"
"But I don't agree with these rules!"
"I don't care about that!" the man exploded, not seeing how Y/n flinched. They had never argued like this. Obviously, they had already disagreed on some issues, but never to the point of raising their voices. "You were selfish! Everything you do affects you and all of us. You have to stop thinking only about yourself!"
"Selfish?" Y/n muttered, looking at her husband with a frown. Those words seemed to be like a knife in her heart.
"Did it occur to you that Francesca is going to start her season in a few months? Now surely all the suitors will know about this family's reputation. That we don't respect hierarchy. That I married someone who has nothing to do with this lifestyle."
Y/n's eyes filled with tears. Her voice was shaking, but she tried to keep herself in control, "Well, I'm sorry that I let you down. It wasn't my intention, Lord Bridgerton. I'm sorry that you married someone who wasn't supposed to be here, living with all this money and stupid rules of etiquette. But I will always do what I think is right. Because unlike you, I know what it's like to be looked down upon by the upper classes."
Anthony looked at her with wide eyes, his mouth opening and closing several times. "Wait, Y/N, I didn't mean it like that. I don't regret marrying you."
"It doesn't matter what you meant. Really, you should have married someone who was already into this lifestyle, who knew what the hell they were doing. I'm trying, I swear." Some tears fell. "But it's difficult. And dealing with these people, who think they are superior to others, I can't do it."
"Y/nâŚ"
"But you're right. I should have thought about your family. Your siblings could be harmed by what I did, and that was the last thing I wanted. My apologies for that, I will make sure I fix this."
"No, no." the Bridgerton man said, looking desperately at the woman. The woman who gave up her life to marry him, and has tried hard every day to adapt. And here he is, who instead of helping her criticizes her for defending what she believes in. "You're not going to do anything because there's nothing to fix."
"You don't need to say that, I already realized I made a mistake."
"But you didn't, I did. I let myself be influenced by everything that is wrong in this society, and that's why I'm disappointed in myself. But you, my beautiful kind wife, just did what was right, and I'm proud of you. You are not selfish, god you are nothing like that. You do so much for this family, I don't know what came over me to say something as barbaric as that."
"AnthonyâŚ" Y/n sighed, not knowing what to say. Her husband, in turn, seemed to have relaxed when Y/n finally called him by his name and not his title.
"I love you. I married you because I love who you are and want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want our children to be as kind as you, and we can raise them to be good people, who help others. I'm sorry for the way I treated you."
Y/n remained silent but let a small smile appear on her face. Anthony also realized that they were better off with each other and took a step forward.
"I will kneel and beg for your forgiveness."
"What are you waiting for?" she teased.
Although she wasn't expecting it, Anthony actually lowered himself to his knees at her feet, looking at her in amusement but also with sincerity. "My apologies, Lady Bridgerton. I will not repeat my mistakes again. I love you and how fierce you are. Now, will you please forgive me?"
"I don't know, Anthony, maybe I need something more convincing." she said, closing her eyes when she felt her husband lift her dress a little to place small kisses on her legs.
"I'm all yours, Y/N. For the rest of my days."
#bridgerton#benedict bridgerton#anthony bridgerton x reader#anthony bridgerton#anthony bridgerton x you#bridgerton imagine#bridgerton x reader#collin bridgerton x reader#anthony bridgerton x female reader#anthony bridgerton x y/n#benedict bridgerton x reader
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I think one of the many things wrong with Jinx this season is how like, half of her personality was cut off and thrown out.
Like her reaction to grief. We see her suicidal after Silcoâs death and sheâll be again very suicidal after Ishaâs death. Makes sense. Donât have notes on that part. However I have so much notes on her rage. In s1 we see Powder sometimes responding to bad situation by being shy and sad, but sometimes she reacts in a more adversarial way, like complaining they should try fighting Piltover or trying to stand up to Mylo. But we also get these moments like when sheâs left behind and has an absolute meltdown and starts wrecking shit but more importantly her reaction to Silco. He says theyâll show them all and she throws the audience the most rage fueled look youâve ever seen. When really pushed beyond her limits this is Powderâs emotional reaction to tragedy/being wronged. We see that all throughout acts II and III and we see it when she blows up the council after Silco dies. And thatâs the problem cos thatâs the part thatâs missing from s2. They cut her personality in half and only kept one half. Anger as part of her personality and reaction to grief was discarded when writing her in s2. Even tho she goes through a lot of grieving in s2.
Another example is Isha. Jinx prioritizing family and just chilling? Wanting affectionate interactions with family? Having an easier relationship with a younger family member cos there arenât any expectations or need to prove anything or gain anyoneâs attention? No fear of abandonment/betrayal? She just has this kid who hero worships her and follows her around like a puppy so no stress? No notes. However I have a lot of notes about Jinxâs paranoia and how not normal and possessive and toxic she is about relationships. And I have notes on the generational trauma. Where did all that go? Thatâs not how ppl work. Living in a messed up society and Silcoâs parenting wonât just evaporate like that cos Isha is just so overwhelmingly cute. Itâs more likely that Jinx would corrupt the kid. (which you could argue on paper she does cos the kid in the end thought that suicide was dope but why did the narrative frame it as this beautiful thing lol)
And on the topic of fighting Piltover where did âwe beat the enforcers with just the four of us imagine what the whole Lanes could doâ go? Jinx definitely prioritized family more but she wasnât neutral or indifferent on the Piltover matter. The enforcers wrong her/hurt her/threaten her family yet again, they kidnapped Isha, and she just acts panicked and sad, but also jokes and quips while on the mission. Whereâs the rage and hatred and desire for revenge on the ppl who wronged her? Sometimes itâs just ppl around her being mean or lying or smth, anyone could be her enemy, like Sevika, Silco or Vi, but a lot of the time itâs Piltover, they killed her parents, they were her fathersâ enemies and drove them to hate each other, they chased them as kids and tried to arrest them, they kidnapped and abused Vi in prison all her adolescence, they would have killed Vi so she blew up the whole blockade, Council tried to turn Silco against her and now heâs dead so she bombs them, all her life she can see that the quality of their life is bad bcos of Piltover, sheâs in Jayceâs apartment and immediately goes for the sandwich. Jinx doesnât come off as a very politically/ideologically motivated character but what happened to all her personal beef with Piltover?
They also inexplicably just ceased to write her fucking up all the time. what about her yâknow, being a jinx? In s1 even in acts II and III when she is proficient in fighting and bomb-making they still constantly show her being more of a burden and fucking up in other ways. While never explained (which was good) to me it came off as a symptom of trauma and being neurodivergent, like how ADHD kids canât escape the allegations that theyâre lazy, but on a meta level it did make it feel like she was supernaturally cursed. Part of what felt so profound and empowering about s1 finale and her embracing being jinx it that it was her embracing that sheâs different (and âwrongâ in some ways) and can never live a happy life in the society she lives in and so she lashes out. Now she just chills and nothing ever doesnât go her way (ig until Isha died but that wasnât even directly her fault, Isha just acted on her own choice and agency). Suddenly her mental issues donât exist or get in the way of her socializing and being a part of society. This bigoted, violent and unfair society.
Donât even get me started on her mannerisms. Remember how she would bite her lip? Iâm not sure if she does that even once in s2. âSister, thought I missed herâ??? let Jinx rhyme sometimes and in general say weird shit, not one-liners.
So the only way for the writers to have Jinx do nothing, heal up completely and just chill with a kid in her lair (and really everything else she does (or doesnât do) this season) is to get rid of half of her personality, the traits that would dictate she take action and feel wrath and lash out/hurt her loved ones in the process.
All of her tragic traits from s1 that made her Jinx were just erased, not changed throughout the course of an arc, absent from the get go, so that they can have her say that Jinx is dead and have it make sense in the context of s2 cos from her very first appearance is s2 this Jinx was devoid of pretty much all of her jinx-y character traits from s1.
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Red
You, a mere farm girl, has found herself living a nightmare after hearing countless town rumors of a barbarian society moving west. A quiet girl in a quiet town is faced with many shocking discoveries in a matter of two days.
the day was hot, miserably so. the sun beating down on your bare back with an unrelenting warmth, making your work twenty times harder. The sun even warmed up the dirt and stone lying underneath your bare feet, working the fields barefoot was already hard enough, the burning sensation under your feet made it no easier.
You couldn't remember the last time you had water, or any form of nutrition. They didn't bother feeding the "low class" likes of you anymore, field and cattle workers, endlessly working for the sake of producing cash crops and cattle for the village. It wasn't slavery, they couldn't call it slavery as it had been outlawed for years now in this kingdom. Even so, you were paid dirt and were treated as slaves always had been.
you worked and worked and worked night and day, in every season of the year for the "sake of the village" they would say, you among a small group of farm workers lived in a small barn out back, with no insulation or form of bathroom. you shared one room between sixteen workers a small space not fit for even two.
Every day, all day, you would find yourself in a similar situation to this one, in a small sack of a dress covered in dirt, knees on the ground with your hands enveloped completely in dirt either pulling weeds from the ground or planting small seeds for potatoes or carrots or the occasional beet, with the hot sun beating down on your back, heaving and panting. just like you always did, you dug through the soil, pulling out weeds, your bare feet digging into the dirt behind you, burning with the heat of the sun. you were humming an old lullaby your mother used to sing before she died, peacefully doing your work no matter how hot and miserable you should be.
your humming came to a halt when you heard a burst of girly young giggles echo through the field off in the distance, the village girls. They would sometimes come out here for fun, either to make fun of the workers or to run around the fields, the owners didn't care so neither did you, if the rich kids liked the farm than so did their parents, meaning more money for everybody but you. You found yourself envious of their freedom in life. They didn't have to work, not like you did. You were about the same age, yet they were dressed in pretty sundresses with bows in their hair, while you were reduced to something akin to a potato sack, hair tied back in plain looking ponytail, they were plump and round and beautiful while you stayed frail and skinny and sickly looking.
You found yourself staring at them, hidden among the plants and crops, unseen by their unfocused eyes, it was easy to just drift off, to imagine yourself giggling with them, being part of their group, gossiping about the town rumors. It was a nice thought. unachievable, but nice.
"Did you hear about that foreighn kingdom conquering west?" they giggled to each other, clearly not noticing you tucked behind the corn rows. You had yet to hear anything about any foreign kingdom, then again you were fairly uninformed, your only news coming from your colleagues or your boss, who spoke to you once or twice a month. The two other girls let out false-sounding gasps, intrigued.
"I know right? My father speaks about the towns they've conquered. Apparently, it's brutal, they leave no survivors and burn the fields and town. " The girl's giggles became hushed and quiet as she went on, listening intently with wide eyes, you sat behind the plants. They were smiling as she said all of this, wasn't this supposed to be sad, be awful? how could they laugh at the destruction of so many towns? So many lives?
"My mother has been talking about the same things! Apparently, a couple survivors tried to come into town, and the guards sent them packing though. Good thing too, they looked dirty. dirt belongs in the field, not in a home." she brought her hand to her lips and let out a giggle, the rest followed suit while you stared. You couldn't tell if they were being serious, they lived ina different world, that much was obvious.
"Ive heard stories! How they kill the women and children in front of their families, burn down homes and villages, apparently their leader is the worst of them. The biggest and strongest and meanest" she snickered in a disgusting, prissy rich way.
"We dont have to worry of course, they would spare us, father would pay them all the money in the world. Its the low levels who should be worried." They all erupted in giggles at that one, and all looked towards your fellow workers, pointing at their clothes and matted hair and dirty hands. You were apart of the "low levels" as they had said, you hated that. And you hated these girls for making you feel less than them just for not being born with a roof over your head.
You scowled at them, now hating them with all of your energy. Maybe it was best that you stayed away from them, it makes sense why you aren't part of their clique, why you never would be part of their clique. Fuck them, and their high-class prissy fathers. You let out a sigh and tried to back up, wanting to disappear among the plants, accidentally cracking a stick with your bare foot and letting a hiss. All of their heads snapped towards your hidden spot.
"Who's there?" The snooty one with the high pitched nasally voice screeched out. You slapped your hand over your mouth, inching back as fast as you could without making noise, the owners of the farm would beat you if they knew you were eavesdropping on the high class girls.
"Its probably one of those workers" the other hissed, poison laced in her tone.
"Come out freak! you like listening on our conversation?" You ran as they yelled for you, abandoning your seeds and work. Their taunts followed you, however eventually their voices quieted and you were left with the shocking information that a foreign barbarian kingdom was migrating west. You were west, and so was your village. They were moving towards you, especially if the survivors from a raid were close enough to walk on foot to your village, they had to be close.
By the time the sun went down and all the workers were in the servants quarters you were able to ask your questions, the younger workers knew nothing, but the elderly and middle aged were willing to tell the stories from their younger times of the war. You had never taken a history class, or any class at all for that matter so you had no clue about anything they would say, you hadn't even known that there was a war.
They were foreigners who lived among the trees and the mountains, known for brutal manslaughter, they weren't human, that much a clear. They were giant apparently, after and stronger and larger,ith predatory instincts and habits, they were like animals. . They even lived longer. The eldest of the women here had been in one of the village raids all those years ago, they killed her entire family while she was hiding in the closet, then burned her house down, leaving her with burn scars all over her body. They told stories of torture and theft and assault, and the worst part about it was that they had no motive other than bloodlust, they looted homes, but they never demanded money or women or crops. Nobody knew what they wanted, they never told the towns their demands, they would just come and go, leaving fire and death in their dust.
The fact that they were approaching closer and closer as the days ticked by, left you shaking.
Mentions of their brutal leader left you even more fearful, as he preyed on the weak. Tearing out the throats of innocents and ignoring pleas or cries for help. You were weak. Like all those he has killed.
You went to sleep that night hoping that it was all just rumors, silly townsfolk gossip that the girls made up to fill the boredom and free time.
needless to say, you didn't sleep much that night.
---
When you woke up,the quarters were empty, you shared a bed with four other people, so waking up without the company of another was quite jarring. At first, you jolted out of bed, terrified of missing the morning work, knowing it would surely receive you a beating. However the others would wake you up if you had not arisen with the rest, and it was still quite dark outside, so that simply hadn't made any sense. looking around, the room was in a state of disarray, the beds oddly moved around, the thin blankets strewn about, and the little belongings that all of you had were either gone or thrown around the room. What had happened while you were asleep, and more importantly, how had you slept through it?
then, the smell of smoke hit you.
Thick and heavy it brought bile to your throat, this wasn't a forest fire or campfire, this wasn't something where empty air was burning, this smelled like meat, like flesh and bone being burned. you gagged, covering your mouth and nose with the thin fabric of the blanket. you stumbled out the creaky door of your quarters, coughing and trying to block the smell out, but were halted in your tracks.
Fire. Fire everywhere. The farm, the house, even the forest around. The only thing left untouched was the animal barn, thank god. Your eyes widened as you took in the sight of acres of land ablaze, weeks and weeks of work lit with slivers of red and yellow light. The warmth radiating off of it burned your face. were you dreaming? this must be some form of a dream.
dream or not, you were in danger.
Once you were able to get over the initial shock of your home being literally lit on fire, you tried to tune into any other noises than the crackling sound of flames. Anything to hint where you should go, where you should run. You had never left this farm, your mother was a slave here before it was outlawed, and you were born into the work, forbidden to leave. Not once had you stepped foot into town, and you certainly have never left the town. You didn't know where to go.
Then you heard it, the screams. people, so many people screaming, you didn't know where to go, but it would be in the opposite direction of wherever that was, whatever was making that noise. So, with a very impulsive decision you ran away from the screams, into the direction of an empty winding dirt road, you tried to think logically, if you could find someone then you could follow them and figure out where to go.
The quiet running was harsh on your bare feet, sprinting down the empty dirt road as quietly as you could was not easy for somebody medically unwell and malnourished. However, there would be much time later to sulk over achy bones and pained feet. Was there anybody even here? you could still smell the stench, although it was getting softer. However, you still clutched the cotton blanket in your hand. Your pace slowed as exhaustion kicked in, and to your luck, you heard voices. Not quiet and soft like the ones you were used to, loud and boisterous. men.
you found yourself frozen on the trail, listening in on the conversation as best as you could you inched to the side of the road, trying to hide among the trees. They looked strange, not dressed all properly like the owner of the farm or the village girls you had seen. Their clothes were woven in a precise ay you had never seen before, jewels and beads hung from their hair and necks, chests bare and blood splattered.The more you stared, the weirder and weirder they looked, too large, too muscular, their voices too harsh. inhuman sounding.
"The towns already a fucking gonor, chief said to wait to set the forest on fire till he was done in the homes" One of the Men laughed out with a menacing cackle, his shoulders shaking, the others seemed too happy, too excited to be starting fires. They were up to this.
"Those guards were a riot though. All tough until they realized we weren't going down "Please spare me!" and "We'll let you in we swear!"" the other mocked in a high-pitched voice. They laughed along as they mocked the guards of your town. As they walked down the road, getting closer and closer to you by the second, you were now able to see blood all over them, splattered on their strange clothing. Your breath hitched as they passed you, still hiding in the bushes by the side of the road.
Thank god they hadn't seen you, whoever they were, they clearly would not do you well. Two giant men conversing about arson and the death of the town guards were not anybody you wanted to mess with.
wait.
The realization hit you like a brick. These were the foreign raiders from the east. How were you so stupid, how had you let yourself forget in the span of a couple hours? They were tearing your town apart just like the others before. That's why your farm was ablaze. Thats why your Coworkers were gone. Thats why you heard screaming.
Your breath hitched as a couple tears left your eyes, you clutched the blanket in your hand, oh god, your town was going to be one of many trampled and raided beyond repair. your knees began to quiver along with your hands, you were a gonor. you had to run. now.
Stumbling back from the shock of the realization, you turned to quietly make your way further down the road, away from the town, away from those men. They were far enough that they wouldn't hear your quiet footsteps, you were sure of it. So you held your breath and pulled away from the tree, staying in the dark.
However, while your footsteps were quiet as a mouse, the same white blanket that had brought you comfort just moments ago had doomed you, when you had maneuvered away so focused on the quietness of your footsteps, you had failed to notice that delicate cotton blanket had gotten snagged on a tree branch. pulling away from you and causing a loud snap in the branches. Your breath hitched as you stared at the tree with wide eyes, stumbling back and letting the blanket free from your hand. You sent a glance at the two men who had been meters away, praying for their hearing to be weaker than their muscles.
They were instead, standing feet away from you, staring directly at you.
A whimper escaped your lips as you backed away in fear, turning on your heel and making a move to run directly backwards. Not before the taller of the two could reach out and grab the collar of the sack you called a dress, yanking you back and knocking the wind out of you. before you knew it you were lifted off the ground with one arm by the collar of your dress, staring in terror as the eight foot tall man in front of you looked down with excited eyes. He flashed a smile with all too sharp teeth, sending you sprialing into endless fear.
The other said something in what sounded like a foreign language, not something you would ever understand. Before you could move, the larger of the two bendy down and smelled the air right next to you, with that his smile dropped and the two locked eyes. Some kind of realization hit them as well, while you remained unknowing and absolutely terrified.
"well, looks like we missed one, didnt we?" he questioned with a deep voice, the fear alone sent your heart into a free fall, beating out of control. you couldn't breathe, your lungs pulsing in and out against your will as panic flooded them. spots clouded yourision as the man continued to say something, and with one breath you felt your consciousness slip out from under your feet.
---
you woke up lying on the hard feeling of cement stones, the stench from the fire before worse than you had ever smelled it, sending you into a fit of coughs. Squinting your eyes open, you were able to see small cottage-like buildings, you were in the village, weren't you? You were in the square judging by the large open space of square stones. with heavy eyelids you tried to unblur your vision, and as you did, you found that cold sense of panic enveloping your bloodstream yet again. red, red everywhere. you were sitting in a puddle of it.
Silently freaking out, you pushed yourself up with weak limbs, trying your best to stand, you couldn't remember what had happened, but you were still alive, that's what was important. looking around none of those men were near, but the fires were. should you even bother running? would they come back and catch you. there was blood soaked through your dress, your head ached, and you found your bare feet wet with the blood of the townsfolk.
you found yourself dry heaving due to the stench, tears escaping your eyes, all while stumbling around the square in the meantime. your attention was immediately drawn to the high pitched screaming of what sounded to be a girl. finding the sound with your eyes, it was one of the girls from the farm, white bow still tied in her hair. She was lying on the ground, a pool of blood lying at where her head had met the stone just moments ago, her hands were up above her head in a shield-like motion.
"Please! Please! I can pay you anything you want! Money and jewels or crops I swear I am no commoner! I just need my father! Please!" she screamed up, your eyes panned up from the girl lying on the ground to a man. not just a man, a giant. at least ten feet tall with arms a width larger than your head, he had icy hair that seemed to stick out in every direction like an explosion, and eyes. oh god. his eyes were red as the blood surrounding him, piercing and raging more so than anything you had ever seen. He was looking down at her like she was a bug ready to be squashed, with such hatred that you could swear he had a personal vendetta.
This was him, this was the infamous leader that was ever-so talked about. and he exceeded expectations, this man was a walking nightmare, fear itself packed into ten feet of muscle and blonde hair. You hadn't even realized his plans until his foot came down on her head, and with a crunch, the screaming came to an abrupt halt.
For the third time in two days, you found yourself frozen, staring at somebody you would never dare to talk to. And for the third time,they were staring right back at you.
The giant man flicked his boot as red splattered on the ground next to him, all while still staring at you, he let the girl's wrist go, and dropped her body to the ground with a thump. he made slow strides to a frozen little you, each step sending shivers down your spine, as you stumbled back, finally able to move, he was already inches in front of you, leaning over to be face to face.
You didn't bother running, learning from your mistakes that running results in nothing and you still get caught. Instead, you met his eyes for a moment, finding something else deep down. He was leaned over, bent down on one knee, inches away from your face. this was it, you give up. you're dead.
you squinted your eyes closed, deciding it would be best not to look as you met your inevitable death, face to face with the grim reaper himself, you chose not to stare him in the eye. peacefully accepting your fate. You waited for impact, waited to feel something hit you over the head or knock your kneecaps out. You waited for something, anything to end your miserable existence.
but it never came.
your hands quivering, your heart pittering in your chest at five hundred beats per minute. tears running freely down your cheeks, catching dirt and blood on the way down. A hand gently met your face, cupping your cheek, You peeled your eyes open to meet his own piercing crimson globes.
And to your surprise, the man smiled. not like the smile the others gave you, not like a predator bearing its teeth, but a genuine smile, one that you had only ever seen worn by your mother.
"Pretty" he grumbled out, an accent hanging over his voice. it was deep and gravelly and powerful. his giant hand came up to touch your cheek and wipe your tears away, wiping dirt and blood off with his fingertips. This hands could crush your neck with ease if he wanted to, but he wont. Why wont he?
"Why are you doing this?" you sobbed out, finding every last ounce of fight left in you to pull back from his touch and defiantly meeting his crimson gaze once more. your breathing shallow, you felt at risk of feinting once more. He tilted his head with a questioning grunt, and you decided to play your luck once more.
"Why do you raid my village, what have you to gain? You sobbed in his face and his smile shifted and morphed slowly into a frown, he cocked his head even further, his face twisting up into confusion.
"This is not a raid, we do not raid. were not cruel. " His gruff voice continued to send shivers down your spine, yet his words let rage flow through your bones. hundreds dead, maybe thousands, all of your friends, and family even, probably also dead. and this "wasn't a raid" according to him. you couldn't find it in yourself to care that he was twice your height, and quadruple your strength, you wanted to hit him so hard that he would feel it for days, even if it meant breaking your wrist.
"Theyre all dead, why? We have done nothing." You couldn't believe you were talking to one of them right now, you could barely believe that you had the courage to even muster a word, let alone a whole conversation. His hand found your waist, the other touching your face once more. What the hell was happening? surrounded by blood and death and this man, no, this thing was touching youso lovingly. the shivering of your hands threatened to come back again as you held his gaze.
"We look for our mates, and we prove that we are strong enough to be worth your time." The second the words left his mouth youwere once again reminded that he was anything but a human, they were creatures of nature, you'd seen squirells and horses and cows find mates, never humans. but you were stupid to think he was even remotely close to a human. the words had your face twisting in distress, and you stumbling back, your consciousness threatening to slip from under you once more.
"mates?" you questioned, voice wavering with uncertainty. this could not be happening, you could not be talking about love surrounded by bodies on top of bodies in a burning town with a man who wasn't really a man and instead a foreign alien like giant creature.
"mates,
you."
and with those words your eyes rolled back into your skull and your consciousness slipped through the cracks of the stone, you fell forward and the man was glad to catch you. standing up with you in his arms was a triumphant moment for him, finding his mate as a real, as a king was a monumentous occasion. you were his, undeniably his. he had finally found you.
katsuki bakugou had finally found his mate.
#soft yandere#yandere x reader#yandere#romantic yandere#yandere romantic#yandere obsession#yandere bakugo family#yandere bakugo katsuki#yandere dragon king#yandere dragon king bakugo#dragon king bakugou#yandere dragon#yandere katsuki bakugo#yandere barbarian bakugo#yandere barbarian#barbarian bakugo x reader#yandere bakugo#soft yandere bakugo#yandere bakugou#yandere bakugo x reader#barbarian bakugou#yandere katsuki bakugou#katsuki bakugo#katsuki bakugo x reader#katsuki bakugou#yandere my hero academia#fantasy au#dragon au#barbarian au#dragon king
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/2025.SAMIWOK/
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{ NSFW } â A Valentineâs day gift,
pairing : Rafayel x fem!reader
summary : itâs Valentineâs Day and Rafayel invites you to spend it with him at his place. the night goes pretty well and it ends up just the way you expected.
content : 6k words. chocolate aphrodisiacs ?? ; use of handcuffs ; oral sex : reader receiving ; soft sex ; Rafayel teases a lot
note : the explicit smut part isnât that long itâs mostly the tensed atmosphere before that is well written but iâm planning on improving about that. anyway. thatâs the first lads fic but thereâll be more heh
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âValentineâs Day is a stupid and commercialized holiday.â Those were your own words for many years.
Youâre a grown adult and you still see Valentine's day as a scam; something made up completely by a capitalist society forcing people to spend money. Because truly.. who wouldnât want to see their loved ones smile ? Of course you still think that it is the reality behind that holiday.
Yet itâs different this year.
Because this year you have him. Him, who texts you daily to check on you. Him, who stares at you like youâre the most beautiful creature heâs ever seen. Him, who makes you feel loved simply by smiling back at you.
So yeah.. Valentineâs Day is stupid. Stupid and made up to have stupid people spending their stupid money on stupid things to give to their lovers. Stupid holiday. Yet you crave to spend it with him. You crave his gifts, his touch.. well, his attention.
Youâre still in the street, walking home from todayâs assigned missions. Your eyes wander around the city. Couples.. Families.. And in the middle of that, single souls, wandering around the streets, looking lonely just like you.
Lonely⌠Yeah, perhaps you should try and callâŚ
Oh ?
You take your phone out of your pocket and see the familiar face of the one you think about a little too much these days. âIncoming call : Annoying fishieâŚ<3â
You smile at the only presence of his name on your screen, because the truth is heâs got you wrapped around his fingers. So much so that youâre smiling at your phone in the middle of the street, excited to hear his voice before you even pick up the call. You cough slightly before you do. After all, you wouldnât want to give him the confidence he needs to tease you.
âHello ?â You reply, quite calmly and your voice almost sounds a little cold.
âHmph. Finally ! I thought youâd never pick up the call.â And there he goes, complaining not even five seconds into the call. You sigh longly. Heâs always so dramatic.. and for what ? That man is 24 after all and still pouting like a little boy whose mother refuses a toy. Ridiculous. But even that part of him makes him lovable to you.
âDonât even start-â You reply and he interrupts with a soft laugh that warms your heart. You instinctively smile because you can picture his lips curling up as he laughs and his eyes matching the playful tone of his voice as he speaks.
âIs my Miss bodyguard free tonight, by any chance ?â He asks so politely. Usually, he would tell you to join him wherever he wants to see you. Who wouldâve imagined him being so sweet as he suggests a plan to you.
You take a look at your watch quickly and it displays 5:21 pm. It is not late. Your plans for tonight were mostly about heading home, showering, eating dinner and sleeping. You worked today and you have to go back to work tomorrow. Yeah⌠Stupid holiday which doesn't even allow a resting day.
âMy weeks are only filled with meetings with colleagues and wanderers.â You reply right away, complaining a bit about how tired you feel. The question was not about it, yet Rafayel still replies to you with worry and encouraging words.
On the other end of the line, heâs looking around the garden. It is empty; just the way he feels when youâre not by his side. He respects your job, knows itâs hard and doesnât want to be a bother yet heâd be ready to beg for you to come see him everyday.
âNeed a massage, cutie ?â He asks and you can almost picture that annoying smirk on his lips from here.
Of course he was going to flirt with you. There is no way he calls you and doesnât try his tricks on you. Because he loves the way you always let out a little blank before you reply, as if thinking hard about a perfect answer.
ââŚHow much will it cost ?â You hear a slight humming sound as you reply. Itâs not the first time you flirt back, but it always feels so surprising for him.
He chuckles and his breath on the speaker almost tickles your ear with its sweetness. âWeâll figure something out.â He replies and the sound of his voice drives you crazy. His low voice is so unusual it strikes a special feeling inside of you.
You want him. Oh God you do.
There is a brief silence, quickly interrupted by Rafayel. â7pm at my place ?â he asks. You ponder for a while and agree. If this is going to be the first Valentineâs day you spend with him, you might as well make it unforgettable for both of you, right ?
Thereâs a few more brief exchanges and you hang up the phone the minute you step through the door to your apartment. You head towards the living-room and lay on the sofa.
Tired⌠You think as you close your eyes for a few seconds. You were gonna prepare of course, but a small nap never killed anyone.
You open your eyes and stare at the ceiling that is only lightened up by the colored lights of the bar thatâs on the other side of the road, right in front of the building you live in. It goes from a flashy purple to various shades of pink before it turns to a light blue. It goes in a loop and it reminds you of Rafayelâs color palette.
You smile at the thought of him. Again. Oh how desperate you look like when your brain replays hundreds of memories of his pretty eyes devouring you alive.
You grab your phone thatâs vibrating right next to your ear in a quite annoying way and hold it up pretty close to your face as youâre still laying down.
You open Rafayelâs message and your cheeks get slightly red. âdo you like surprises, miss bodyguard ?â he asks and his message is joined with a picture of half of his naked chest and his hand holding out a pair of handcuffs.
You never tried this before yet the photo instantly turns you on. Perhaps itâs because you know itâs him holding them out that you want them on your wrists so bad.
You gulp before responding almost immediately. âWant me to tie you down to the bed ?â You tease and surprisingly he instantly responds ââŚwho knows. im eager to see you tryâ punctuated with playful emotes.
Of course he was gonna text this. That man just has a way of driving you crazy that is incredibly strong and even though youâre used to it by now, he somehow still manages to get you giggling every single time.
You take a quick shower, not wanting to be late for your date with your very first Valentine. And because your hair today is especially beautiful, you decide not to wash it to be the most beautiful girl heâs ever seen. When you get out of the shower and head over to your bedroom, the clock displays 6:02. Youâre right on time to make yourself pretty with a bit of makeup and the stunning clothes you have in mind.
That man deserves it, with the way he makes you feel : loved and safe; Respected and interesting. You take a good look at yourself in the mirror and you feel so beautiful you would almost want to kiss yourself.
Perfect. You grab your phone and quickly type a message before going out of the building.
âWill be there in 20.â
As you head to his place, the night is slowly falling. You look around and realize the streets are empty. The ocean is pretty agitated tonight and the warmth in the air surrounding you is a sign of a storm incoming.
Youâre not really fond of huge storms, at least not at Rafayelâs place since he lives so close to the ocean. Your eyes are fixed on the horizon and before you even realize it, youâre right in front of his place. Itâs a pretty immense ground, definitely way too big for a single person.
Rafayel likes his loneliness but what he craves even more is your presence by his side. Therefore, he walks towards the door the second he realizes youâre here.
You push open the front gate. The lights are on all along the way towards his house. And as you walk up the stairs, he opens the door, slowly leaning against it. He wears his usual white shirt and fancy black pants tonight. He looks good, stunning even, as always; yet you have to admit you feel a bit⌠disappointed, maybe ? After all, you put on a fancy dress, and high heels for the night. It was not the most comfortable but you felt it was needed to appear perfect for him. Meanwhile, heâs standing there, looking perfect with little to no effort.
âMy miss bodyguard made herself extremely pretty.â He points out the obvious. You do look perfect. Your hair is soft and placed perfectly well. You wear a long red velvet dress he has never seen before and it matches the lipstick you chose earlier. Your eyes stare at him in a way thatâs making him forget about everything that isnât you.
Rafayel stares at you in awe and he cannot take his eyes off. Youâre beautiful. Always. And when you look like that, you are like a muse to him, his source of inspiration. He wishes his brain could photograph you under the moonlight so he could always wake up with that image of you as you walk up towards him for the whole night.
The whole night.
A whole night to yourselves.
It almost sounds like a dream, yet, when his hand grabs yours and his thumb rubs the palm of your hand, you realize itâs real. All of it. From his soft gaze to his gentle touch to the intoxicating scent of his perfume thatâs making you crazy about him. It is definitely real. He is here with you.
Itâs the lovers holiday and he decided to spend it with you.
âAre you cold, cutie ?â He asks and heâs ready to go running, and get one of his numerous cardigans to put on your shoulders to protect you from the soft breeze because nothing could ever be allowed to hurt his beloved.
You shake your head. âNo. Itâs quite warm, actually.â You add, and just when you try avoiding his gaze he flashes you a smile. âCome with me, then.â You walk into this big house of his and even though youâve come here multiple times before you never get used to how luxurious it seems.
The hall of the house is decorated with glorious statues and large, beautiful paintings made by Rafayel himself. You stare around as if discovering a whole new world and quickly reach the garden. As you set your feet on the wooden patio you realize heâs been preparing a big surprise for you.
There are flowers. Lots of them. Bouquets, all as beautiful as the others. Thereâs food all over the table, and itâs literally everything you adore. The music playing in the background is from the playlist you once made for him. You gulp, and turn to him, a bit emotional about all of this.
âMy God, Rafayel. You didnât have to do all that.â You donât even find the right words at this point and maybe you sound a bit ungrateful right now but he knows you well enough to know this actually pleases you, so much that you struggle expressing your genuine feelings.
âIndeed. I didnât have to.â He repeats, a bit sassy as he approaches you, pulling on your hand until he feels your body pressed against his and he can whisper against your ear. âMy Miss Bodyguard works hard daily to protect me, I must repay her the right way.â
You run a hand through his hair and stare at him for a few seconds, eyes intensely screaming how hard you want him and he gets it immediately. His lips crash into yours, capturing your mouth for a passionate kiss and it almost feels like you have not met for years with how hard youâre both clinging to each other.
You pull his hair gently and he almost moans into the kiss. The kiss feels like itâs never-ending and it takes all of his energy to pull away from you.
He takes a step back, catching his breath and without any surprise : he jokes again.
âLetâs not eat dessert yet, mhm ?â He says as he points to the table and all of the delicious food heâs prepared before you come.
Your thumb brushes against your lips as you follow him to a new topic after that steamy kiss you just shared. âDid Thomas help you do this ?â You ask, a bit curious as to how he managed to do this in only a few hours.
Rafayel pouts slightly, his arms crossed as he turns his back on you, âHmph. I can do things on my own, you know.â
You smile and walk towards him. His back is still turned on you. You wrap an arm around his neck, kissing his cheek softly, your hand caressing his jawline until it reaches his chin, locking it between your fingers and forcing him to look at you.
âRafayel ?â You say. You raise an eyebrow, a bit suspicious. Your voice is low, almost menacing and his eyes look away from yours, capitulating. âFiiiine.â he says, still pouting slightly âHe helped me a bit.â
âYou little liar !â You accuse him but his angel eyes make you forget about it pretty quickly. Theyâre screaming his innocence despite him the fact he just admitted trying to hide Thomaâs help in his surprise.. âI technically did not lie.â And you shake your head, brushing it off.
As you take a step back, pulling away from him, you cross your arms against your chest in an elegant way. Your eyes are almost challenging him to do something, and he clears his throat quietly.
Rafayel smiles and pulls your hand once again, making you follow him towards the sofa near the table. He remains standing for a few seconds, his eyes hypnotized by the attractive sight of your low-cut neckline given by the angle.
Itâs only when you move your head and call out his name once again tonight that he snaps out of his thoughts. âYeah, yeah, yeahâ he quickly says, his head shaking as if it helped chase the dirty thoughts away.
The music changes to the next track, and itâs a much calmer one. The instruments used in that one have the power to change your mood right away and when your eyes meet his, you know your minds are connected. You think alike a lot of times, and now is no exception.
He wants you.
His eyes are filled with lust and heâs practically taking off your clothes with them. His Adamâs apple moves as he tries gulping his desires away discreetly; and fails. His head rests against one of his hands, his index finger tapping regularly against his temples as if he was waiting for something. A sign maybe ? Your consent to him touching you.
You want him.
You blink several times as if it would be enough to hide the perversion of the numerous secret thoughts reflecting in your eyes. Your legs are crossed and subconsciously rubbing against one another, desperately seeking some sort of pleasure. And your breathing⌠It betrays your needs.
âA glass of wine ?â Rafayel is the first to break the silence between you two. And thank God he does, otherwise you wouldnât have lasted much longer before jumping on his lap and ripping both your clothes off.
You nod. You donât drink so much wine, and arenât into it either but youâll take anything heâll give you. Also the kiss you shared just before and the tense atmosphere that seem to surround the two of you does not give you a good reason to turn down his offer. Youâre thirsty and itâs not wine nor water that is going to slow it down.
He hands out your glass to you and then his. âCheers.â He says with a pretty smile matching the softness in his eyes as you stare into them before clinking softly your glass against his.
âCheers.â You respond and your eyes never once leave his face as you take a first sip of the drink. Itâs good. Really good. Itâs probably the best wine youâve ever tasted. At least, the only wine that is not making your face contort in disgust as if being inflicted the worst sufferings in the world.
You put the glass down and smirk at him.
âShall we play a questions game ?â
You feel a little bolder than usual, and judging by the gaze in his eyes at your proposition, heâs into it. His lips mirror yours, curling up in a playful smirk. âGo ahead and ask a question then.â
You squint as if thinking hard about your question when in reality : you suggested it only because you knew exactly what to ask and where it would lead.
âThen⌠Letâs start easy. What do you think of my dress ?â You ask innocently caressing the velvet fabric. It feels so soft against your fingertips and you love it. You stare at him as you wait for the verdict.
Rafayel looks at the dress, fully, and his insistent gaze could almost feel uncomfortable if you didnât want him right here and now.
âIt perfectly accentuates that beautiful body of yours, miss Bodyguard,â He replies confidently. âMy turn now. What do you hide under that perfectly cut dress ?â
He asks so quickly you canât even grasp the compliment he just gave you. You gulp and decide to flirt again. âWhy donât you take a guess ?â
âThat is not the rule of the game.â He says so low you almost canât hear him.
âWho cares about rules ?â You say. You could tell him what you wear of course. But you want him to discover it himself for youâve been dying to see the look on his face when youâd reveal your lingerie to him.
Rafayel approaches dangerously on the sofa. âCareful, cutie. I care about rules, and Iâll make you apply them if I have to.â His eyes are slightly menacing when he accentuates the first person pronoun. His words are an obvious threat but also a challenge. Another. Because the truth is, Rafayel knows you. He knows you, like the back of his hand and he knows the dirtiest part of you is ready to receive a punishment.
That wouldnât even feel like one, considering some of your fantasies.
You smile and stare as he keeps approaching you slowly, almost like a predator that is about to catch his prey, a prey heâs been going after since they first met.
âI said : take a guess.â You repeat. Your voice is low and your heart feels like itâs about to explode from all the tension between you two. Rafayelâs lips are slightly parted and he sighs. âCan I have a hint ?â He asks, giving up resisting your little game.
âToo easy⌠Try guessing without a hint and youâll be rewarded if youâre right.â You say. The bold words come out of your mouth so quickly you canât even think before you speak. That makes him laugh a bit and he looks quite menacing when he does.
He keeps approaching and at some point you end up laying on your back with him crawling over your body, his hands resting on both sides of your head on the sofa, as if heâs caging you with it.
His eyes narrow as he looks at your lips and then back to your eyes. You donât even know how divine you look right now. His mind is getting dysfunctional from all the thoughts heâs having, from how bad he wants you. At this point heâs not even trying to hide it anymore.
âBold of you to assume I wonât claim that reward anyway.â Youâre about to protest, when his lips find yours once more tonight. If the kiss from earlier was filled with the desire you both feel for each other; it is no different now, except itâs more pressed, more needy. You bite his lips as a slight punishment for his lack of obedience.
He pulls back and touches his lips youâve just bitten. âYouâŚâ He whines, before he gets up and lifts you up the sofa.
He takes a few steps towards the house and leaves the untouched food on the table along with both your wine glasses. His room is the door thatâs right on the left and as he opens it you see how he carefully decorated his room.
Thereâs a box of chocolate on the nightstand and a few other things. Rafayel carefully put you on his bed. He takes a step back and stares at you from head to toe.
The music that was playing outside is now playing on the small speakers he put in his room. As the next song plays, a smile paints on his lips. He slowly leans over you, his hands delicately taking off your heels. He looks down at you as youâre laying on your back and heâs still standing by the bed.
He looks at his left and opens the chocolate box. âDo you know that chocolates have aphrodisiac virtues ?â You heard about this before, but despite eating chocolate before, youâve never felt anything special.
You gulp and heâs handing you a chocolate. âThey say when the chocolate melts into your mouth, it creates a pure euphoric sensation in your whole body thatâs making you crave something else.â He smirks and approaches the chocolate to your mouth. His long and thin fingers rub against your lips as you part them slightly to bite into what heâs giving you.
Your eyes never once leave his, and the expression on your face speaks thousands of unsaid words. He gives you a chaste kiss and eats the other part of the chocolate.
âWhat do you think, Miss Bodyguard ? Does eating that chocolate strike a special spot inside of you ?â He asks but the answer he wants isnât about this. What he truly wants to know is whether you want him or not. And he knows you do, because, well, itâs written all over your face. But he wants you to say it.
He kneels on the edge of the bed, his hand pulling up your left leg, bringing it higher until youâre able to rub your feet against his lower back. His long and thin fingers feel so soft against your skin. âSay the words.â Rafayel commands, but the softness in his voice makes it sound like a plea.
Heâs containing himself, but he knows he wonât be able to hold himself much longer if you keep staring at him like that while pulling his body closer to yours on his bed, with the sensual music playing in the background.
He grabs the zipper on the side of your dress, pulling it down and you bite your lip when his mouth finds its way down into your neck, dropping gentle kisses and eagerly sucking on your skin. âYou drive me crazy.â He whispers between two kisses. His warm breathing on your neck mixed to his growing erection rubbing against your own most intimate parts make you let out a moan.
âI want you. Rafayel, please...â There you are, begging him to go further. Judging by the instant smirk on his lips as he pulls away from you to take off his shirt, heâs been craving to hear this.
Seeing him shirtless got you biting your lower lip, again. His body is perfect. Because itâs him. His chest punctuated here and there with a few moles make him extremely attractive. The way his abs are drawn make you want to admire it. The dim light only allows you to see his curves in the dark yet you still think of him as a work of art.
But you donât even have time to think about what youâre staring at. Rafayel lays on top of you, whispering things against your ear that probably got you blushing. âShould I be gentle ? Or would you prefer me being rough ?â He asks and itâs most likely the most intimate question youâve ever been expected to answer.
âWhy donât you take out my dress first ?â You say and youâre surprised yourself. Because you have no energy left in your body to resist him, you just crave to feel him inside of you yet you still try gaining time over that.
He chuckles. Part of him is quite irritated not to have an answer yet. His frustration leads him to be quite in a hurry as his hands start pulling down on your dress. Quickly, your bra is revealed and heâs almost salivating at the sight.
âBeautiful.â He whispers against your skin as he pulls you off the bed. Youâre standing now and as if he was your loyal subject, he kneels before you. His eyes are practically devouring you right here, dropping kisses along your chest while pulling down your dress to reveal your full body.
âBeautiful.â He repeats as his mouth goes down on your body. Your skin is burning from the initial heat in the room mixed to the heated exchange with him just a few seconds ago.
You gulp and hold your smirk when the dress finally reaches the floor. With grace, you hold onto his shoulders and get rid of it, throwing the dress away in his room.
âHappy Valentineâs Day.â You mutter and his eyes almost sparkle at the sight of your stockings. âYou-â He starts and he stops himself. Heâs got too many things to say, but he prefers to show you instead.
Too many words could bore you. But his hands ? Oh no thereâs no way his expert hands bore you. He brings your left leg to his shoulder, and with his eyes closed he starts kissing your inner thighs. He knows it can get quite a sensitive spot when youâre so desperate to be loved, physically.
His mouth moves fast towards your pussy and it catches you off guard, your mouth letting out a few moans as you almost beg him to stop. You surely donât want to cum just yet, but he has the entire night to make you. And itâs starting now. All of his senses are focused on hearing your sweet moans and teasing your wet sex. He loves to hear you and the smirk on his lips as you get louder only grow larger.
âDid you- mh like the lingerie Iâve chosen ?â You still manage to ask. Youâre not one to beg for compliments, but you know the garter belts made him lose his mind for a second. And thatâs the exact reason heâs still kneeling, despite the floor of his room not being comfortable, and for what ? Only to pleasure you.
âItâs perfect. Youâre so divine it makes me crazyâŚâ He whispers, opening his eyes to check the reaction on your face, and seeing the evident blush on your cheeks, heâs fully satisfied.
âWhy donât I show you just how much I love them ?â He asks, whispering, his fingers grasping the black lace thong thatâs the only thing separating his eager mouth to the sweet spot that could make you a moaning mess. You gasp when he pulls it down, without ever taking his eyes off yours.
âStay still, cutie.â He drops a kiss first, and quickly sticks his tongue to your clit.
âRafayel- ahâŚâ Your hands grip his hair instinctively.
As his tongue works hardly against your clit, almost desperate to make you cum quickly, you pull his hair harder. Heâs good. Heâs so good, you actually wonder how many times before he did this, and to who.
âFocus. Look at me, pleasuring you.â The way he accentuates his last word almost sounds like he can hear your train of thought.
Rafayel hums against your clit, and it sends a special feeling in your entire being. His tongue is lapping faster now and his eyes are dangerously staring at each of your reactions, memorizing them.
It is the most beautiful sight ever. Youâre having a great time, he reads it on your face, and heâs just so proud heâs the one making you feel that way.
âIâm gonna.. Iâm gonna cum if you keep going.â You warn. And he stops, at least for a second. âThen cum.â He says and itâs almost cruel how he commands you around. He wraps his hands around your thighs, locking you here with him sucking on your clit as if it was the source of the euphoria in his entire body.
And it might be at this point. You feel yourself getting close and he feels it too. With a smirk on his lips, he eats you out harder. Faster. Anything to hear his name fall out from your mouth. His eyes are practically screaming âGo onâ.
Suddenly you feel yourself losing your balance, because the wave of pleasure submerging your body is simply too good. Itâs been a long time and your legs are shaking so hard. But before you have the time to worry about falling, Rafayel lifts you off the floor and throws you on the bed.
âHave you had enough, cutie ?â He asks and heâs so obviously provoking you with that question. He smirks proudly as he sees you, still panting and the sheets becoming wet between your thighs. Itâs his work of art.
You chuckle and shake your head. âDidn't you promise me a surprise ?â You say, referring to the earlier texts. He laughs too. He knows what you mean, yet he didnât know youâd be into it as well, to the point of asking for it.
He opens the drawer and takes out the pair of handcuffs. âShall I ?â He asks softly as you approach your wrists, allowing him to put them on for you. He bites his lip, carefully staring as he handcuffs you. His moves are slow, he obviously never did it before. And it somehow warms your heart to know youâre trying things together already.
âThere. Does it hurt ?â He asks gently, his eyes scanning your face in a search for responses. âNo. Now⌠I believe weâre not done yet.â You say, extending your leg so that your feet could rub against the obvious bulge in his pants.
As soon as you ask for it, he delivers. He takes off the rest of his clothes and his hard cock bouncing back up makes you bite your lip. Itâs long but not too thick, just like you expected it to be.
He comes back on the bed and none of you waste time. You both know youâve been wanting this ever since the beginning of this date. No. Ever since you first kissed.
You spread your legs, your wrists still tied to the bed.
He seizes your waist, pulling your body closer, and of course he doesnât give you what you crave immediately. Instead, he rubs the tip of it against your clit and smirks down at your desperate expression.
âPut it in.â You command and itâs quite obvious from the hurried tone in your voice that youâre getting frustrated. He loves it when you moan, but he loves it even more when you beg.
His arrogant eyes stare down, and with his hands he takes off your bra, revealing your beautiful breast. He pinches one of your nipples, while his mouth eagerly sucks on the other. âYou better ask nicely if you want it.â He whispers against your skin.
His chuckle makes you want to push him down the bed and ride him yourself. But youâre unable to move since he tied you up just before. Now youâre almost pissed off by his attitude, because of course he was gonna push his luck and your limits with it.
âRafayel.â You say. âI only listen to good girls.â He replies.
Heâs making you crazy, in all the ways he can. You want to scream because it feels so frustrating right now. But his cruelty somehow makes him so attractive to you.
âRafayel please⌠I need you.â You say, eyebrows pinched together and angel eyes begging for him to stop teasing.
That gaze of yours is all he needs to change his mind and the soft sound of your voice as you beg for him to take you is more than enough.
He doesnât warn, doesnât say anything and pushes himself into your wet cunt, and itâs squeezing him so good. He whines with each of his thrusts, desperate. âMhh.. youâre so goodâ He moans into your ear.
His hands are holding you in place, and your bodyâs not flinching, not even when his thrusts become harder and more desperate.
âRafayel⌠Kiss me.â You say, almost pleading him to agree and as he obliges, his lips finding their way toward yours, youâre reduced to a moaning mess.
His thrusts switch from delicate and filled with some sort of desire : one to make you feel loved to a more brutal and rough way that doesn't show any mercy to your overstimulated body.
He loves that you take him without complaining. You let him do as he pleases, mostly because you like it that way too, but also because seeing him so free with you feels good. He feels good enough with you to be able to show both sides of himself.
âYouâre so goodâŚâ Rafayel moans into your ear and he said it before but you never get tired of hearing it. His voice is softer than usual, more serious yet more relaxed at the same time.
His hands caress your thighs, throwing your legs behind his back and you wrap them together, pressing his body together with yours. You crave his voice, his scent and his touch. You want him to fill you up completely because heâs yours and you are his.
âMineâŚâ He moans against your neck as he sucks on it gently, but still hard enough to leave a mark of his affection.
He thrusts harder, deeper. Heâs in a hurry to cum. He wants to make you feel good, wants to moan your name and make you feel like youâre the only woman in the world because, truly, you are the only one that matters to him.
The way he clings to you, and the way his voice calls out your name several times as he keeps burying himself deep inside of you, it just feels right. It feels like the only thing that was ever certain.
You are meant for him.
Thatâs the only thing thatâs on both your minds as you reach orgasm together. And the room is filled with both your moans of each otherâs name. Now itâs you and him, no one else matters.
As he cums, he nuzzles his head into your neck, one of his hands caressing your soft hair as youâre both panting and desperately trying to catch your breath. Heâs still inside of you and he doesnât want to pull away.
He feels good in your embrace. Itâs warm. Itâs filled with your love and thatâs the only thing he needs. Now and forever youâre the only one.
Rafayel stares at you for a few seconds and he drops a loving, gentle kiss on your lips. âYouâre the only one I want.â He says softly and it brings an instant smile on your lips as you kiss him back.
âI love you.â He thinks but doesnât say it, after all, thereâs still plenty of time to make you feel his love.
A whole night. An entire life. Together always. Thatâs pretty much the only thing heâs sure of. Yeah. Together, always.
#love and deepspace#lads#lads rafayel#rafayel smut#rafayel x reader#rafayel x you#rafayel x y/n#lads smut
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how to not experience the life you desire
i personally believe that you already have your desires but it's just that you haven't experienced them yet because of your current beliefs about your yourself and your current reality. but understand that you are the one who's delaying them with this kind of mindset.
holding onto limiting beliefs and remaining fixed in a mindset that doesn't serve you will only create resistance. this resistance distances you from the countless possibilities already within reach, blocking you from embodying the version of yourself that fully aligns with what you want.
there are so many ways, so many techniques, so many methods to manifest this and that but now let's talk about the opposite. these are the ways to create resistance and not experience everything you desire.
have poor self-concept
do constant research but don't apply them
let your current reality tell you what to feel
stay overly attached to the specifics of how things should unfold
dwell on when will it happen
let it disrupt your day by thinking and worrying about it every time
believe that you don't deserve your desires
believe every negative thought that your mind is telling you
complain every day about everything and everyone
hate everything about yourself and others
don't follow your highest excitement. follow what society wants for you
remain in a negative state your whole life
focus solely on what you lack instead of what you have
believe that your desires can only come in 1 way or ways you can only imagine
compare yourself constantly to others
rely on others to validate your worth
feel resentful of others who are achieving their desires
resist releasing old beliefs that no longer serve you
believe that manifesting is just a âflukeâ or a game of luck
choose to look at the world from a scarcity mindset
reject the idea that your thoughts create your reality
believe others can manifest but doubt your own power
think that your desires are too big or impossible or that you don't deserve them
refuse to act as though your desires are inevitable
these are just some deep-seated beliefs you may hold about yourself and the world, which create a barrier, resistance, and delay to actually experiencing your desires. these feelings often stem from your past experiences, colored by lack, negative beliefs, and a distorted perception of what is possible for you.
as you reflect on this list, it is important to recognize that these are not just random habits; they are patterns. now that you are aware of these negative habits, take time to examine their origins. do shadow work. ask yourself why you have developed these beliefs and behaviors so you can then discipline yourself.
you are not healing to manifest. manifesting is automatic. you are also not healing because you are broken. you are never broken. you are healing to let yourself realize the power that you hold, and that every belief, every thought, every state is creating your life. the point of power is here and now.
#law of assumption#neville goddard#self concept#loa#loablr#affirm and persist#reality shifting#desired reality#bashar#manifestation#manifesting#law of attraction#shifting#consciousness#spiritual awakening#glow up#that girl#divine feminine#high value woman#self worth#adulting
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Iâm Trans and Insane and Iâm doing fine.
[TW Psychosis, transphobia, psychophobia, medication, psych ward]
âAre you sure ?â she asked.
I remember looking back at her in disbelief, because that was certainly a question I never asked her when she came out.
âWhy do you ask ?â I say.
âDude, Iâve seen you go into depersonalization so hard you even thought you were a human soul in a robot vessel and now, you want me to trust you when you say that you, too, are trans ?â
Thatâs the memory that comes back to me as I fold and put in my bag my psychiatristâs note attesting that I suffer from gender dysphoria, NOT LINKED to any psychotic symptoms. Here it goes in my folder with my prescription note, an increase - again - of my anti depressants and Xan, and my endocrinologistâs HRT prescription, increased too - finally.
I go to two separate pharmacies to pick up each prescription for two reasons:
There is only one in this godforsaken town that always had testosterone in stock.
I canât explain to you with words the look you can get when you give back to back, to someone who, despite not being a doctor, works in healthcare, a note for trans HRT and then a note for psychiatric meds.
And Iâm lucky, because Iâm not taking antipsychotics anymore. Contrarily to what you could think, it doesnât magically makes the voices and the shadowy people disappear, but it can make a mess of your head pretty bad and my doctor and I both agreed that I didnât need more damage up here than what I already had. And no, it doesnât make your delusions vanish magically too: in fact, I was still pretty certain that I was talking to my soul family out here in Argentine telepathically about my mission on Earth, the meds just made it more difficult to understand their voices, but the belief was still solid.
Anyways, Iâm back home with the Hoy Grail I fought tooth and nails to get: a letter from the Sacred Council of Mental Sanity also known as Psychiatry that I was, indeed, a bit delulu, but also trans, and that both things didnât play into each other. My transness wasnât a delusion, my delusions didnât have anything to do with being trans.
Or did it ?
Chicken or egg, you know the drill. Did I have my selves fractured before and one of the piece that shattered my brain happened to make me trans or was I just trans with a shitload of traumas in the back that made me insane ?
But donât worry, at least, trans people when we���re together, we have each otherâs back ! Right ?
âTransidentity ISNâT a mental illness !! We donât DESERVE to be FORCIBLY LOCKED UP and MEDICATED and MADE TO CONFORM FOR OTHERâS SENSE OF SECURITY !!â
Neither do I, RIGHT ?
Oh
Or do I ?
Remember what she said, my girlfriend, right at the beginning ?
How I canât be trusted about myself when sometimes I donât even have a sense of self anymore or I have too much selves who fight against each other ?
And what do we say to that ?
Get treatment. Get in-patient. Take medication. And for the love of God, shut the fuck up about it, youâre giving us a bad name.
Because being trans and crazy canât exist. Itâs absurd. You have to fix one of these two things. Choose which jacket Iâll wear, and they call it a straitjacket for a reason it seems, so am I queer or am I insane ?
All I know today is there isnât a universe in which Iâm a trans without any mental illnesses, or mentally ill without being trans. And yet, I canât tell you how many time I got asked âdo you think youâd be trans if you never got through [x trauma] ?â. I. Donât. Know. Iâll never know. And I deserve just as much agency as you get despite being mentally ill. If you donât believe in that, donât come yapping about âliberation for all of usâ, but âif one of us is crazy theyâll all think I am too and that canât happenâ.
No LGBTQIAA+ person deserves to be told they need to be put away, to be cured, to be allowed out in the open only if theyâre deemed âacceptableâ by societyâs standards. And no mentally ill people deserve to either.
No trans person should be going through years of counseling to have the access to HRT.
And I shouldnât have had to threaten my own motherâs life to avoid being locked in an adult psych ward at 14.
If you ever think, for one second, that these two things have nothing to do with one another, you are far removed from history.
To hear queer people say âyeah but some mentally ill people are dangerous !â feels like you donât even know where you come from.
And if I want to say, that me being trans is linked to me being mentally ill, or at least, that both are connected in a way, all hell breaks fucking loose.
So Iâll explain very carefully.
See, when I was young, my mind got shattered into a thousand of pieces I had to try to glue back on. All these pieces of myself broke further more down the line because I couldnât catch a fucking break. And now, it happens that the final puzzle does not have the same face it had before. It happens that its shape changed over time, for reasons over the control of all of us who tried to build ourselves back. Now thereâs a bigger picture, less pieces, a few other shadows, and me. Built from the shatters. With my own needs and afflictions.
And whoever you are, whatever your agenda might be, I will not let anyone take any agency away from me under the false pretext that I canât know anything for myself. They say that about children, they say that about minorities, about physically disabled people, about the people they want OUT. And my trans siblings, you know that.
I came out for the first time 7 years ago, to my then girlfriend, who was the one asking the question that is the first sentence of this text. I came out a second time 3 years ago. Been on HRT, had top surgery, had psychotic breaks, got my meds changed, switch therapist.
Because I am trans and crazy. And yet, all these choices I made, I made myself. It didnât have to be that hard to get the basic care I needed. It didnât need to be. But it WAS. And Iâm part of the lucky crowd of people who had access to out-patient treatment, who never have been locked up in ward, who managed to stay alive through meds withdrawals without medical assistance when I had no therapist.
Be very careful of when you start to put conditions on the rights you think you deserve. Be very, very careful about your definition of sanity and of how it warps the way you see people. When you start to say âI have access to that, but thereâs people like X or Y who shouldnât BECAUSEâ, pause and ask yourself what led you to think this way. More often than not, youâll find yourself playing the same mind games as the ones you swore to fight against, and when it gives them the upper hand, they wonât hesitate to come for you after that.
#lgbtqiaplus#ftm#trans#transgender#mental illness#trauma#tw trauma#tw psychophobia#psychophobia#tw psychosis#lgbtqia#genderqueer#ftx#trans rights#actually psychotic#psychotic disorders#psychosis#psychosis mention#neurodivergency#trans mental health#queer#transmasc#trans issues#psychodivergency#mad pride#insanity#anti psychiatry#psychiatry#actually mentally ill#madpunk
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cod men headcanons in an age gap relationship?
i have such a thing for age gaps...i blame society. also, iâm only including ghost, price, and alejandro because the other men are too young imo. ik some of their ages are debatable, so in my mind, ghost is at least 30.
Ghost
⥠honestly, i don't think my guy really gives a shit if there is an age difference between you two. like his morals are all skewed, and the last thing he'd waste time worrying about would be a *legal* age gap.
⥠being younger than him would just make his nicknames for you that much more adorable. he likes to add the words 'little' and 'tiny' in front of a lot of the things he calls you. "little mouse" "little dove" "tiny girl/boy"
⥠regardless of how much experience you have (with relationships, sex, etc) he will always act like he knows more than you. he can find himself treating you like youâre so innocent and new to everything--even if you do the same line of work as him, i.e. killing people. and it can definitely annoy you.
⥠it doesnât matter how many people youâve been with or how many people youâve killed; no matter what, he knows more than you. and honestly, even tho it can annoy you sometimes, him being so dominant is just super hot.
⥠âsimon, i know how to do itâ you whined, as he wrapped his arms around you, showing you how to properly use a sniper. you were used to so many other guns, but not snipers. âmhm,â he mocked, stepping away from you. when you shot the gun, you missed your target by quite a few feet. your cheeks warmed and you hesitated before looking back at simon. his arms were crossed over his chest as he eyed you. you could tell he had a smug smile plastered across his face under his mask. he did not need his ego inflated any more than it already was.
Price
⥠price was definitely concerned when he first realized he had feelings for you. he knew you were of age, but that didn't stop the odd feeling he got when he was around you--like he was taking advantage of you.
⥠and his way of flirting was to act like your father⌠he thought he was being nice, showing you how to do stuff, always having your back. but my god was he appalled when you were frustrated with him one day after he keep hounding you about something.
⥠âOk, dad! i get it!â âwhat did you just call me?â You heard the anger in his tone. shit, you were getting too comfortable around your captain, you should not have teased him like that. âS-sorry, captain. I didnât meanââ He cut you off, clearly agitated for a different reason than you being smart with him. âis that how you view me, doll? like a father?â if you said yes, price would know he needed to back off. he could take a hint. âNo⌠I⌠You just wouldnât get off my back. I was just trying to be funny.â You felt so embarrassed as you explained yourself. Price got into your space and grabbed your chin in his hand, titling your head up to look at him. you gulped. âyou wanna call me endearments? go ahead. but donât ever call me that again.â he looked at you a moment longer before turning away. suddenly fueled with adrenaline, you called after him. âwhat about daddy?â Price spun around quicker than you could register before he was pushing you backward, his hand tight in your hair as he yanked your head back to look up at him again with a gasp. âfuckinâ brat,â he muttered, a sly smile crossing his lips.
⥠as much as price truly does not care about your sexual history, heâd be lying if he said it didnât turn him on a bit knowing how much more innocent you were than him. you could have slept with a bunch of people for all he cared, but knowing you were that much younger than him, he knew he had more experience than you regardless. and something about that sparked a flame in his chest. he had a thing for wanting to show you the ropes.. but he definitely felt guilty about thinking that way. he wouldnât have been any less attracted to you knowing you slept with a hundred other people. he knew you being âinnocentâ shouldnât turn him on. but it didâŚ
⥠he is very possessive of you. doesnât like the idea of other men thinking they have a chance with you. but he can get a bit self-conscious whenever a younger man approaches you or checks you out. âyou really wanna be with an old man like me?â heâd ask. as confident as he is, in the beginning of your relationship, being so much older than you made him second guess himself. shouldnât you want to be with someone your own age? âjesus, price. youâre only 37. you act like youâre knocking on hell's door.â heâd start tickling you for your bratty remark, but it definitely placated some of his nerves.
⥠and since he has more experience dating wise, heâd say âi love youâ pretty early on. heâs not dating you thinking itâs some fling. heâs serious about you. and heâs lived long enough to know when heâs in love. and heâs not afraid to say it.
⥠you were saying goodbye to price as he went off on a mission. heâd only be gone a few days, but youâd hate every minute of it. he kissed you, his mustache tickling your lip. âi love you,â he murmured when he pulled away. he smirked as he appraised your stunned face. and heâd turn and leave before you had a chance to process his words, knowing you wouldnât be able to get them out of your head the whole time he was gone.
Alejandro
⥠definitely feels bad at first, like heâs taking advantage of you. he reminds you all the time to tell him if youâre uncomfortable. that you can say no. he just doesnât want you to feel used.
⥠as he gets more confident in the way you want him, he starts to use it against you. same as ghost, he mocks you as if youâre so innocent and inexperienced. âsee, this is what they call aââ âYes, Ale. I know. Iâm the one who showed you that.â resulting in a cheeky wink from him.
⥠during training, he embarrassed you in front of the others. when you messed up a move, he made a big deal showing you how to execute it properly even though youâve been in the army for years now and knew how to do it in your sleep. he liked to see the way youâd get flustered with all the other guys around as he teased you.
⥠he definitely exudes a dominant side and it definitely comes out around you. he wants to do everything for you. wants to carry shit thatâs too heavy for you. he wants to be your ride. the first person you call when you need help. he wants to be your everything.
⥠he also acts a little more dominant in bed than he would if he was with someone his age. something about you looking up at him with your sweet little doe-eyes sparked a dominating need within him. he takes control. he leads. he tells you what to do. he barks out commands. he punishes you for being bratty. he takes control in every sense of the word. The only time you can really hold anything over him is when heâs getting close to finishing. youâll be able to get him to say whatever you want him to, his mind lost in a haze, wanting nothing more than to find the release youâre about to give him. âPlease,â he begged. you smiled as you hovered above him. you sank back down on him and continued your motions, and he quickly climaxed. his hands squeezed your hips as he groaned. âfuckinâ perfect.â
#ghost#simon riley#ghost headcanons#simon riley headcanons#alejandro vargas headcanons#john price headcanons#call of duty headcanons#ghost cod#ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#ghost mw2#alejandro x reader#alejandro vargas#captain john price#john price
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