#look at me never giving you a break from the pain
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purplepixel · 2 days ago
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You made a post giving advice on writing injuries implying that you have medical knowledge and know the right way to portray things. You can't do that and then not expect to be @'d. My problem with your previous post was the absolute language that you used. "If you have a fever of 103 you will go unconscious" No. I don't need to have my emt license to know thats not true. I know people and scenarios where that hasnt happened.
"you will feel yourself bleeding out" it's not that you're entirely wrong, it's the way you're phrasing it. I'll come back from rescuing someone, look down and notice I'm bleeding cuz the rocks are bitches and I NEVER feel them until much later. Nearly every medical aid I've been on the longer time goes the more in pain someone feels (until paramedics arrive and can administer drugs). Cuz the adrenaline starts to wear off. Idk your whole "stop writing characters not feeling themselves bleeding out" is weird bc half the time adrenaline DOES negate or dampen the pain. Not always, but it does happen. Again, it's the absolute language you're using that makes your advice inaccurate. It's not black or white. Every scenario is different but you're telling people it must be a certain way. So yes, continue writing characters not knowing they're bleeding out until someone points it out. SOURCE: IT HAPPENS TO ME ALL THE TIME.
The reality is the human body is weird. Simultaneously fragile and extremely resilient. There are general trends that happen, but ultimately there is always an exception to the rule. There's always that freak miracle that breaks everything you've learned in class. As a first responder, the more experience I gain, the more I learn that. Real life does not keep to the text book.
The best advice I can give for someone trying to write injuries, is hearing the recount of someone else who's had that exact or similar injury.
And if you're giving advice, please be careful how you phrase things. You said a lot of true things but the way you phrased other things is simply not true. Whether you intended it or not, you spread misinformation with the black and white language in your first post and people were listening to you.
writing tips - fevers
guys so the injury post absolutely fucking exploded (500 notes in 24 hours is a lot for me) and the fever part really threw yall for a loop.
I didn't go into it but I can! just to clear up questions.
Fevers are funky asf
like, there are so many factors that indicate when a fever is like a big deal and when it's not. part of it has to do with the age of the patient, how long the fever lasts, any causes or prexisting conditions....
Like this:
If person is feverish due to an infection, their symptoms are gonna be slightly different than someone who is fighting the flu. this is because the antibodies are attacking different parts of the nervous system with different kinds of chemicals blah de blah blah blah.
The younger the patient, the more susceptible they are. if the character is a child, a fever of 102 F is way worse than a 30 year old man experiencing that. It'll take a larger toll on the baby's body.
Some people have naturally higher body temps. There is a standard deviation away from the target temp that is still ok. Some people simply exist at 99.2 F, even though for some that's febrile.
idk man it's weird people are weird don't @ me about it.
obviously it's bio science which means not everything has exactly a clear answer. there are so mnay variables at play that it's easier just to blanket statement the whole thing.
because this isn't a blog for medical advice.
please don't use this blog for medical advice.
100% of death.
thanks guys love the effort
xox
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archiveikemen · 3 days ago
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Jude Jazza Main Story: Preview
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This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection; expect mistakes, grammatical errors, and some creative liberties. All original content and media used belongs to Cybird. Please support the game by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.
Read this before interacting
My sin is— an unfulfilled promise. 
It all started with a single promise I blurted out in the heat of the moment. 
Kate: Until my time as the Fairytale Keeper comes to an end, I’ll keep looking for something I can love about you. 
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Jude: Remember one thing, Princess. … My “promises” ain’t cheap. 
Jude: If ya break yer promise, I’ll show ya a livin’ hell that’ll make ya wish ya were dead. 
Jude Jazza, a member of Crown and president of a trading company. He was an arrogant, merciless, unforgiving villain. He was… exactly the despicable jerk my first impression and his reputation warned me of. 
Kate: If you keep going out of your way to make enemies, incurring the enmity of others, and putting yourself in more danger… you’ll… end up dead, you know? 
Jude: Ha? What’s it to ya if I die from all the grudges against me?
Jude: Don’t go actin’ all righteous and stickin’ yer nose where it don’t belong, idiot. 
Jude: No passin’ out now. Ya still owe me two rounds, mister. 
Amidst the endless cycle of revenge, he laughed in joy. 
He was a cruel man who delighted in the misery of others. There was no way I could ever come to love someone like him. 
But if I didn't fulfil my promise, it would be a breach of our contract— and I would become his prey. 
As I desperately tried to find something to love about him, we slowly grew closer— and the promise he wanted to fulfil became apparent. 
Jude: Ain’t laughin’? That’s rare. 
Kate: I’m not going to laugh. While it’s true that you’re narrow-minded, arrogant, cruel, greatly disliked, and a true villain right to the core… 
Jude: Go on. 
Kate: … No matter who they are, I would never laugh at someone’s genuine dream. 
That night, when we shared things about ourselves that we never revealed to other people— I found myself falling into the depths of love. 
… Because I fell in love with him, I realised things I never wanted to… like his true feelings. 
Kate: — You really should stop making any more enemies, in order to fulfil the promise. 
Kate: And yet… you’re crossing dangerous bridges on purpose.
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Jude: … What ya tryin’ to say?
(The truth is, Jude is…) 
(He’s…) 
Kate: Do you want to give up? 
Jude: …
Jude: So what if I am? 
In this world where no amount of grudges, hatred, or cries can bring back what was lost— you’re more exhausted than anyone from carrying the burden of a promise you can't forget. 
Kate: I…! 
Jude: Love’s a curse.
Jude: Sayin’ “I love you” is like sayin’”I’ll  put a curse on you.”
Jude: It hurts when ya lose it, ya hate it when it’s taken from ya, and it’s unforgivable if ya get betrayed.
Jude: And yet, ya can’t resist it once it’s given to ya. Love’s the root of all evil.
Jude: I don’t wanna curse nobody, nor be cursed myself.
There's no saving you from love. It only brings you pain and suffering.
As I was crushed by this undeniable truth, a dark shadow crept up on me. 
???: Don’t move. Put your hands up…! 
???: Crown member Jude Jazza, you're under arrest by the order of Her Majesty's private army, 
Ellis: Jude.
Jude: Ellis, stay outta this.
Kate: Why!? 
Ellis: … He’s probably being framed. 
Even if you reject my love, even if you push me away, I’ll keep clinging to you. 
But while on the run, you… 
Jude: That’s enough. This time, I’m endin’ our contract. 
Jude: I got nothin’ to do with ya anymore. Don’t care how ya do it, just get outta my sight. 
Kate: What… how could you… you said it yourself that a one-sided cancellation of the contract is invalid! 
Kate: I refuse. I want to be together with you—
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Jude: … Kate. 
He touched his fingers to my forehead. 
He was all I could see as he gave me a pained smile. 
Jude: I thought it was stupid of ya to go lookin’ for something to love about me.
Jude: But bein’ genuinely liked without an ulterior motive… doesn't feel so bad. 
Jude: — Good night, Princess. 
It was unbelievable how he put me to sleep, ignoring my wishes, and did as he pleased. 
That arrogant, cruel, unforgiving villain. 
And yet, because I was in love with him— 
I wasn't going to forgive him so easily for abandoning me after saying his piece. 
When I woke up, I chased after the 13th fairy… and cast a curse on him. 
An merciless, unbreakable curse called love.  
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Jude: Of all people, I’ll make sure that ya never feel unhappy. And ya ain’t allowed to leave me, either. 
Jude: That's the price for castin’ this curse on me.
Let’s make a promise— even if it curses you. 
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beloveds-embrace · 14 hours ago
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noona. noon. any angsty thoughts to share for the duke au? 👁️ (i’m craving angst sorry)
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I DO!! Angst version of the au would be if you weren’t welcomed at all. Sure, no one is being flat out rude to you, no one is actively sabotaging you and John doesn’t hit or force you into anything.
But it’s lonely.
The maids barely touch you, as if disgusted they have to help and tend to the woman their Duke needed to and not wanted to marry, and the butlers are the same. Especially the head butler Garrick. You still don’t know his first name and he doesn’t seem inclined to tell you.
During the dinner… nights with John, you’ve started noticing that your food isn’t quite as well done as his? Less decorated, occasionally burnt or not cooked well, but you don’t want to cause any trouble so you remain silent and John never asks why you seem to eat so little.
You do also meet Duke Riley, the man that John is said to have an incredibly close friendship with, something born during his time servicing the kingdom. You’ve heard so much about him, from bad to good, and you wonder how he actually is.
In the end, you wish you hadn’t met him, too. The humiliation of being flat-out ignored in your own home while he speaks amicably with John…
So yes. Life as Duchess Price isn’t a happy one, but you are just glad you aren’t physically hurting.
But you do find solace in the only kindness your parents had bothered to show you before they gave you away; your personal knight, König. He is the only one to not treat you as such. He is the only one you can confide in, feel just a little bit of happiness and friendship with even if you haven’t even seen his face yet.
“I’m so tired,” you whisper to him one night, under the blanket of the night sky. You’d thrown a simple shawl over your shoulders, and hadn’t questioned it when he fell in steps behind you, always a protective shadow. Today had been hard. You had also decided to no longer dine with John, not too excited about the lackluster food and the stilted conversations. Cold maids, lonely night… you ached for something more.
You take in a shuddering breath, wrapping the shawl tighter around yourself. Konig stands right beside the bench you are sitting on, a familiar and comforting sight and presence. But tonight, it’s not enough. “I’m so tired, König.” You repeat, your voice cracking.
König simply stares at you for a while; you are used to it, used to everything about him. The mask, the accent, the unyielding body that is always keeping you safe. The quiet congestions you have had, during the days you lock yourself away in your office to ignore the loneliness and sadness plaguing you.
You aren’t used to seeing König bend down in front of you, holding his hands out until you place them in his. Familiar pale eyes peer up at you. Proper etiquette doesn’t matter to you in this moment; who will chastise you for the lack of it when this entire duchy holds only the most basic form of respect for you?
Even if they did, you would not let go of König, your confidant. Your knight.
“…What do you need, mylady?”
After a silent moment, you take in a deep breath and look back at him. “…I want… someone who loves me enough to be kind towards me. I want someone who loves me.”
König nods his head. With bated breath, you watch silently as he brings your hands forward, under his mask, to kiss each knuckle on your hands.
“I am your knight, mylady. I am your sword, and your shield. I, too, can be your lover if that is what you want, mylady. Whatever you desire, it is my duty to provide.” König breathes out against your skin, eyes not once flicking away, words not once breaking. He is fully devoted in his decision. “Will you allow me, mylady? The decision is your, always has been. I cannot take you away from this horrible place-“ not yet. “-but I can give you my love and devotion, just as I’ve always done. Will you allow me, mylady?”
And after everything you’ve been through, all the pain and loneliness and exclusion- you can’t say no.
“…Yes, König.”
(By the time John begins to realize that he may have misjudged you, once you find out the truth, it is already far too late for mending any bridges. There is no particular feeling when you look at him, or any of his men. You only ask that no one bothers your time alone with your shadow, your knight. It’s far too late for anything.)
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aceyalonso · 2 days ago
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F1 drivers if they were on the r/AITAH subreddit
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drivers : oscar piastri, lando norris, charles leclerc, lewis hamilton, carlos sainz, max verstappen, george russell, franco colapinto
warnings/notes : jos verstappen 🤮
a/n : i know i said i was on hiatus but c'mon this was such a fun idea
main masterlist | taglist form
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So this might sound weird, but here goes. My girlfriend and I (both 23) love visiting new places, and she’s a big animal lover. She found this adorable cat café nearby and has been talking about going for weeks. I wasn’t as excited but figured it’d be fun to surprise her, so I booked us a spot and thought I’d try to make it extra special.
Here’s the thing: I wanted to be "that guy" who shows up with a bag of cat treats so all the cats would flock to us. It sounds ridiculous, but my goal was to make her day. When we got there, I pulled out the treats and instantly had a few cats’ attention. My girlfriend laughed, but within a few minutes, an employee came over, looking annoyed, and told me I couldn't give the cats treats from outside.
Apparently, they have specific diets or something, and I was "interfering." I apologized, put the treats away, and thought that was the end of it. But soon after, another employee came up, saying we were being "disruptive" because all the cats were lingering around us, and they even hinted we might need to leave if it didn’t stop. I hadn’t meant to cause a scene and told them it wasn’t a big deal—we’d stop and just hang out like everyone else. But by this point, my girlfriend was pretty embarrassed, and it killed the vibe of our day.
We left a bit earlier than planned, and now my girlfriend thinks it was a bit of a jerk move, even though she appreciated the effort. I didn’t mean to upset anyone or break the rules, just thought it’d be fun to make the cats a bit more social. But now I’m wondering if I messed up by not sticking to the café’s way of doing things.
So, AITAH?
Edit: I’ve learned my lesson. I will never underestimate the dietary regulations of a cat café ever again.
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So, I (24M) have this bad habit of forgetting what’s in my fridge. A while ago, I bought some chicken, but I totally forgot about it, and it just sat there for months. I was cleaning out my fridge the other day and found the chicken at the back, and it still looked fine to me—didn’t smell bad, didn’t look weird—so I thought, "Why not? It’s still good."
I cooked it up, had a nice meal, and didn’t think much of it. But then, later that night, I told my mom about it (thinking she'd just laugh), and she completely freaked out. She went on this whole rant about food safety, salmonella, and how I could’ve poisoned myself. I was just like, "It tasted fine, mom, calm down."
She kept texting me all night asking if I felt okay, if I was getting any stomach pains, and even called a few of my friends to check in on me. Honestly, I’m fine—nothing happened, and I feel perfectly normal.
But now she’s upset with me, saying I’m being careless and that I should never eat food that old, even if it seems fine. I just didn’t think it would be that big of a deal. I mean, people eat leftovers all the time, right? It wasn’t even that old.
So, AITAH for eating chicken that’s been in my fridge for 9 months and making my mom worry unnecessarily?
Edit: Just to clarify, I didn’t intentionally keep it for 9 months. I honestly just forgot about it in the back of the fridge. And no, I’m not sick. Everything’s fine. I promise I won’t be eating anything old again anytime soon!
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I (27M) have a dog, Leo, who’s basically my best friend. He’s super friendly and well-behaved, and honestly, I just feel better when he’s around. I bring him everywhere I go – to cafes, parks, and friend gatherings. You name it, Leo’s there. Most people are fine with it because he’s adorable and loves everyone.
Recently, though, my friends have started making comments about it. Last weekend, we met up at this small, cozy café for brunch, and I brought Leo along. He just curled up next to my chair and didn’t bother anyone. But my friend Paul pulled me aside afterward and said it was kind of annoying that I kept bringing Leo without asking. He said not everyone wants a dog around all the time, and it’s “getting old.”
I don’t understand where this is coming from, especially since Leo’s never caused any problems. I figured since no one had said anything before, they were fine with it. Plus, I’m always careful to keep him out of people’s way, and he’s honestly better behaved than most dogs I know. I feel like they’re making a big deal out of nothing, but now I’m wondering if maybe I should have checked with everyone first.
So, AITAH for always bringing my dog? Should I have asked before assuming everyone was okay with it?
Edit: Just for context, Leo’s a small dog – not the type to jump on people or bark a lot. He just sits quietly and naps most of the time. Also, I’ve always cleaned up after him when necessary, so he hasn’t left any “souvenirs” for anyone to deal with.
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So, I (39M) have this friend, Nico (also 39M), and we’ve been friends since we were kids. We’re both super competitive by nature, and we tend to push each other a lot. Whether it’s video games, sports, or even something like mini-golf, everything somehow turns into a competition between us. It’s mostly just for fun… until recently.
A few weeks ago, we were at a friend’s birthday party, and they had one of those racing setups in the living room. Of course, Nico and I immediately challenged each other, and we both got really into it. I mean, I might’ve been trash-talking a bit (okay, maybe a lot), but we were both laughing, so I didn’t think it was a big deal.
Well, I ended up beating him by a fraction of a second, and I might’ve celebrated a bit too enthusiastically—think victory lap around the living room, calling him out in front of everyone, the whole deal. After that, Nico got pretty quiet and didn’t talk to me much for the rest of the night. Later, a mutual friend told me that Nico felt like I was “rubbing it in,” and it embarrassed him.
Now I feel bad. I honestly thought we were just having fun and didn’t realize he’d take it so personally. I tried to apologize, but he just brushed it off and hasn’t really been himself around me since.
So… AITAH for taking things a bit too far with my friend, or was it all just part of the usual friendly rivalry?
Edit: We’ve always had this kind of back-and-forth, so I’m not sure why this time it got to him. Just thought I’d get some outside perspective before I bring it up with him again.
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Okay, I know this sounds insane, but hear me out. I (30M) love making pancakes, and I’m pretty proud of my recipe. It’s become sort of a tradition to make them for my family when I visit my parents. They’re always really nice about it and say they love them, but... I’m starting to think they’ve just been too polite.
A few weeks ago, I was at my parents’ house and decided to whip up a big batch of pancakes for breakfast. My mom and dad both had seconds, and I thought it was a win. But later that night, my mom started having really bad stomach pains. We took her to the hospital, and she ended up needing surgery for appendicitis. It was a scary experience, but thankfully, she’s okay now.
Here’s where it gets weirder. Just a few days after my mom came home from the hospital, my dad started having the same symptoms. At first, we joked that it was sympathy pains, but he ended up in the ER too, with the exact same issue—appendicitis.
Now my whole family is convinced it was my pancakes. I know logically that my cooking can’t cause appendicitis, but I can’t help but feel responsible because they both got sick right after eating my breakfast. My parents keep joking that they’re never eating my pancakes again, and my siblings have been giving me a hard time about it, saying I’m banned from the kitchen.
So, AITAH for giving both my parents appendicitis with my cooking, or am I just an unlucky chef?
Edit: Just to clarify, I don’t actually think I gave them appendicitis, but the timing is very suspicious, and now my parents are scared of my pancakes. I might need a new family recipe...
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So, I (27M) have two cats (Jimmy & Sassy), and they’re pretty much my babies. They’re super affectionate with me but can be a bit picky about who they like. My dad (52M), on the other hand, isn’t exactly a "cat person." He’s more of the “why do you have pets that don’t do anything useful?” type, but he still visits often and tolerates them because he knows they’re important to me.
The other day, my dad came over, and as usual, my cats were lounging on the couch. He decided to sit down and give them a little nudge to move over, but instead of just shuffling away, one of my cats (Jimmy) swiped at his face. It wasn’t a deep scratch, but it was enough to leave a red mark and get my dad pretty annoyed. I couldn’t help but laugh a bit because he was acting all grumpy about it, muttering something about "those spoiled cats."
He got even more annoyed when he saw me laughing and said I should discipline my cats better and not let them scratch people. I tried explaining that cats are territorial and react like that when they’re suddenly pushed, especially by someone they’re not used to. I offered him a band-aid, but he refused and ended up leaving earlier than planned.
Now my mom is telling me I should’ve been more sympathetic and that I should’ve scolded my cat instead of laughing. But honestly, I feel like it was just a normal cat reaction, and my dad knows how they can be. So now I’m wondering, AITAH for laughing when my cat scratched my dad’s face instead of taking it more seriously?
Edit: Just to clarify, my cats don’t usually attack people. They’re very cuddly with me and my friends, but my dad’s not around them enough for them to be comfortable. I’ll definitely make sure he approaches them differently next time... if he ever wants to come back!
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So, this might sound a bit weird, but hear me out. I (26M) work at this company, and my boss, "Toto" (52M), and I have a really good relationship. We get along great, share a lot of common interests, and he’s been a bit of a mentor to me. We hang out outside of work sometimes, and every now and then, I’ll stay over at his place after we have dinner or watch a game, just because it’s more convenient.
Recently, my friends found out about this and started making fun of me, calling it “sleepovers” with my boss. I laughed it off at first, but they’ve started saying it’s kind of weird and unprofessional to be that close with your boss. They’re acting like I’m trying to suck up or get some kind of special treatment, but that’s honestly not the case. I just enjoy his company, and we have a good time hanging out.
The thing is, I never really mentioned it to my friends before because it just didn’t seem like a big deal. I figured if I told them, they’d blow it out of proportion (which is exactly what’s happening now). But now they’re saying it’s odd that I didn’t bring it up sooner and that it’s kind of strange to be having “sleepovers” with someone who’s technically in charge of me at work.
So, AITAH for not telling my friends that I sometimes crash at my boss’s place, or are they just overreacting?
Edit: For context, it’s not like I’m staying there every weekend or anything. It’s maybe once a month if we’re having a late night and it’s easier than going all the way back to my place. Plus, he’s got a massive guest room, so it’s not like I’m sleeping on the couch or something. It’s just a practical arrangement
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Okay, so I (21M) have a bit of a problem, and I’m honestly not sure if it’s even a problem or just something I can’t control. I’ve noticed lately that whenever I’m doing interviews or talking to reporters, I end up coming off as flirting with them, even though I’m not trying to at all.
I’m naturally a friendly person, and I like to joke around and be engaging. But I’ve had a few reporters (and even some photographers) tell me after interviews that I’ve been “charming” or “too smooth” with them. Some of them even hinted that I was “leading them on.” The thing is, I don’t even notice it happening. I just talk to them like I would anyone else, but apparently, I’m making it seem like I’m flirting—without even trying!
One reporter even gave me her number after an interview, and when I asked if she was just being friendly, she said, “You were a little more than friendly.” I was totally confused because I thought we were just having a good conversation about racing. Now I’m worried that I’m giving the wrong impression to people without meaning to, and I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or make things uncomfortable.
So, AITAH for accidentally flirting with reporters and leading them on when I really don’t mean to? Should I tone down my "natural charm"?
Edit: Just to clarify, I’m not trying to flirt with anyone, reporter or not. I’m just being myself, but it seems like it’s coming off differently than I intended. It’s a bit awkward now, and I’m wondering if I should change how I interact in interviews.
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@nepobbylver @wobblymug @xoscar03 @irishmanwhore @nitiii
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albaskies · 2 days ago
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‘You didn’t have to do that, you know.’
His voice lingers in the air like a sweet scent of honey, and pulls her to a halt just before she reaches the stairs leading up to the dormitories. 
Ginny turns, drawn by the ever-familiar sound that still makes her heart sing despite herself, and finds Harry slumped in a solitary chair at the far end of the common room. His head rests in his hands, his shoulders seem stiff under the weight of his own exhaustion. And yet, his voice is soft - so soft that she wonders if she’s imagined it. It’s only when she notices his gaze fixed upon her that she has the confirmation that it was not just a trick of her mind.
The quiet in the room is mitigated by the gentle crackle of the fire, its warm glow flickering across the walls, and by the occasional whispers of a few lingering Gryffindors, not yet ready for sleep.
She smiles gingerly and draws closer to where Harry is sitting, the air around them feeling somehow thicker and thicker at every step she takes towards him. She is sure, quite sure, to notice his posture relax, his muscles loosen, and for a fleeting, desperately terrifying moment, she just knows — he feels it, too. 
She stops right in front of him, her knees slightly brushing his, and she realises she’s been holding her breath.
‘Do what?’
She knows what, of course, but her throat has suddenly gone dry under the weight of his unwavering gaze, never once leaving her.
He smiles tentatively, and it still feels unreal that she can make him do that, that she can be the reason for it.
‘Well.’ He shrugs. ‘Telling people off on my behalf.’
She hums, then winks at him. ‘You looked like you needed saving, and I do have a debt to settle.’
He snorts, the glimpse of a short-lived moment of lightheartedness brightening his eyes, then quickly shakes his head, coming back to reality.
‘Everyone is right to be disappointed, especially you’, he says, then pauses, staring at her intently, struggling to find the right words. ‘Because I-’.
What he did remains hanging in the air, his voice breaking right in the middle of it. She tries to contain the urge to sit on the armrest of his chair and to throw her hands around his neck, holding him tight, telling him it’s OK, he’s OK, and they’ll be just fine. 
Instead, she looks at him, faking a shrug to dissimulate a shiver.
‘You took orders from something someone wrote in a book.’
There’s another pause, a beat, and the air around them suddenly feels unbreathable.
‘Yeah.’ His eyes flash before her, and she feels them burning on her skin, like the scariest and yet most beautiful thing she’s ever seen. ‘I’m very sorry, Ginny.’
How do you tell someone, you know, I think I’m in love with you. I think I’ve been for the longest of times and damn you, damn you, for looking at me like that right now. Just when I had almost moved on, just when I had almost let you go. Damn you for having those eyes, that face, those hands. I’ve spent so many sleepless nights over the years, but your smile is the most beautiful sunrise I’ve ever seen. I want to spend my days telling you about it, laughing with you, crying with you. I want to kiss that sad frown away from your face and make all this disappear. I want to take your pain away, I want to make you smile like you do until the air in my lungs runs out. I want the good, I want the bad, I want it fucking all.
I’m so screwed, she concludes. She gives in, stops resisting. I’m so fucking screwed.
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sur-i-ki · 2 days ago
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7/20
Scissors, paper
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The moment he tells you, you feel like the floor has fallen out from under you. It's a sinking sensation in your stomach, a heaviness settling in your chest that makes it hard to breathe. You look at him, waiting for him to tell you that it isn’t true, that he didn’t mean it, that he would never choose someone else over you.
But his face says everything you’re afraid to hear.
There’s a tension in the air, thick and pressing. You can feel your heart pounding in your throat as he stares at the ground, refusing to meet your gaze. He’s looking at his hands, clasped tightly in front of him, his knuckles white as if he’s holding on to some invisible thread that’s keeping him from falling apart.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” you ask finally, your voice coming out softer than you intended. You want to sound angry, to make him feel even a fraction of the hurt that’s tearing through you, but all you hear is your own desperation.
He closes his eyes and lets out a sigh, like he’s been holding it in for too long. “Because it doesn’t change anything. I didn’t want you to feel… like this.”
“Like what?” The words are sharp now, as they slice through the silence between you. “Like I’m not good enough? Like I was just… convenient for you?”
He flinches, his face contorting with guilt, but he doesn’t argue. And that hurts more than anything else, more than any explanation he could try to give. The truth is there, hanging between you, raw and unspoken.
You stare at him, feeling an ache so deep it feels like it’s carving a hole inside of you. “Tell me,” you say, barely managing to keep your voice steady. “Tell me that I wasn’t your first choice.”
The silence stretches, heavy and suffocating, until finally, he looks up at you, his eyes glassy with something you’re afraid to name. “You weren’t,” he says, barely above a whisper. “But it doesn’t mean I don’t… it doesn’t mean I didn’t fall in love with you.”
The words wash over you, cold and sharp, a twisted comfort that only makes the ache grow stronger. You feel tears prick at the corners of your eyes, but you refuse to let them fall. You’ve shed enough tears over him already, over this fragile connection you thought was solid, that you thought could hold you both.
“Then why?” Your voice breaks, and you hate yourself for it, but you can’t stop. “Why did you stay with me? Why did you let me think that I was enough?”
He rubs a hand over his face, his shoulders slumping, and you realize he looks as broken as you feel. “Because I didn’t know how to let you go,” he admits, his voice thick with regret. “I thought maybe… maybe I could make it work. Maybe you’d be enough to make me forget.”
“But I wasn’t,” you say, the words bitter on your tongue. “I was never going to be.”
The hurt in his eyes sharpens, and for a moment, you see his own pain, his own helplessness. “It wasn’t supposed to happen like this,” he whispers. “I didn’t mean for you to feel like a second choice. I wanted to love you as you deserved.”
The sincerity in his voice cuts through you, leaving you raw and vulnerable, but it’s not enough to heal the wound he’s opened. Because no matter how much he wanted it, no matter how hard he tried, the truth is clear. You were never his first choice, and you never would be.
You swallow hard, the lump in your throat almost unbearable. “Do you even know what it feels like?” you ask, your voice trembling. “To be with someone who can’t give you their whole heart?”
He shakes his head, but you can see the remorse in his eyes. “I never wanted to hurt you,” he says, and his voice is so soft, so pained, that you almost believe him. “I tried to love you completely… I really did.”
“But you couldn’t,” you say, finishing the thought for him. “Because there’s a part of you that still belongs to her, isn’t there?”
His silence is all the answer you need. It’s an emptiness that fills the room, suffocating, a quiet confirmation that cuts deeper than any words could.
You take a shaky breath, your hands balling into fists at your sides. “Do you even understand what it’s like?” you ask, the anger finally breaking free, a wave of hurt and resentment that’s been building up for far too long. “To be someone’s almost, someone’s maybe, but never… never the one?”
He looks at you, his eyes glistening with unshed tears, and for a moment, you think he might say something, that he might offer some comfort, some reassurance that would make this hurt a little less. But he stays silent, his gaze dropping to the floor, and you know that there’s nothing he can say that will change the truth.
“I thought I could be enough,” you whisper, the words more for yourself than for him. “I thought if I just loved you hard enough, it would make up for the parts of you that weren’t mine. But love doesn’t work like that, does it?”
He opens his mouth to respond, but nothing comes out, and the look on his face tells you everything you need to know. He tried. Maybe he wanted to love you as deeply as you loved him. But there’s a difference between wanting and being able to, and you’re realizing now that he was never able to give you everything, no matter how much he wanted to.
The silence stretches between you, heavy and painful, until finally, he speaks, his voice barely a whisper. “I’m sorry,” he says, and there’s a brokenness in his tone that makes you wonder if he’s hurting just as much as you are.
But sorry isn’t enough. Not for this.
You take a step back, your heart aching with every movement, and you watch as his face falls, as he realizes what you’re about to do.
“I can’t keep doing this,” you say, your voice shaking. “I can’t keep pretending that I’m okay with being second best. I deserve more than that. I deserve someone who looks at me and doesn’t see a compromise.”
He takes a step toward you, his hand reaching out, but you shake your head, holding up a hand to stop him.
“No,” you say firmly, swallowing the tears threatening to spill. “I love you, but I can’t keep losing pieces of myself just to fit into this space you made for me. I can’t keep being your second choice.”
The finality of your words settles between you, and you see the pain flash in his eyes, the realization that he’s losing you, that he’s already lost you. But he doesn’t try to stop you. He knows, just as well as you do, that there’s no fixing this, that the damage has already been done.
You turn and walk away, each step feeling heavier than the last, until you’re out of sight, and the silence closes in around you. And even though you know you did the right thing, even though you know you deserve better, the emptiness lingers, a hollow ache that will take time to heal.
But for the first time, you know that you’ll find a way to move on, that one day, you’ll find someone who doesn’t just settle for you, but chooses you wholeheartedly. And until then, you’ll hold on to that hope, a small but powerful light in the darkness of this heartbreak.
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⇝ 𝘓𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘴, 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥! 𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘣𝘶𝘵𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰n
Finally clearing drafts
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ari-cuno · 2 days ago
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A little drabble I wrote after some inspiration and a little break between drawing some art <3
I just wanted to experiment and see how an interaction like this would go between them. It was supposed to be angst but I couldn't help changing it a bit. >3<
Please let me know if I did the couch potato justice @zu-is-here and if there's anything else I could've done better!
“Aim���” Axel mumbled, looking as if he were ready to crumble or disappear from the anxiety in his soul. It formed a painful lump, making his words struggle to come out properly. But under all that was the undying love and trust of the man before him. In all his unconditional love there was still part of him that needed to know, it needed to know that Aim was truly there, and that he was his, no matter how murky the waters they swam in were. Of course it was a silly question though. He knew that answer well enough. Aim was his, but…was Axel himself Aim's? 
“...I need you, Aim.” His voice finally managed to say. “...But I don't know if you need me.” He admitted quietly, his voice suddenly breaking.
Aim, sitting on the other side of the bed, turned to look at the distressed skeleton, offering him a look of comfort with some sort of humor attached to it. “What do ya mean? Of course I need you.” He said, sounding slightly surprised by how the shorter skeleton only seemed to look sadder at his reply. 
“...No- just- ugh! You don't understand!” Axel cried out as he sat on the opposite side of the bed. “You seemed so fine before I came back to find you. Part of me wonders if I'm being selfish by asking so much of you. You don't owe me your companionship. But…but I want it, I crave it, and I crave you.” He said, looking frustrated. 
“...Heh, you have no idea how nice it is having you around.” Aim said, laying back on the mattress, his arms resting above his head. That response made Axel look at him with surprise. 
“If anything I probably need you more. I mean, I must've been really stuck in your head to make you come back after so long. Like a rattle in your skull?” He said in a lighthearted tone, watching Axel's face flush as he looked away. 
“Hm…something like that.” Axel said quietly. 
“This whole thing between us isn't bad. You've already done so much for me and-” Aim paused, noticing the little glitter from a tear that streamed down Axel's cheek. Oh no, had he said something wrong? 
“You're right. You have been stuck in my head forever, and you have no idea how great it was to see you again, but…I don't want to push my feelings on you like this.” Axel said quietly, letting out a little laugh through a few sobs. 
“Stars…oh stars…how are we going to make this work?” He said meekly, voice full of raw vulnerability and sorrow. His soul fluttered intensely in his chest any time he laid eyes on the man before him, couch-potato and lazy-bones aside. 
“Axel, you're crying-” Aim tried, sitting up. 
“Of course I am…this is never going to work!” Axel cried out, trying to wipe his tears away. “I can't even kiss you-”
“You can.” Aim replied. 
“...what?” Axel said, lifting his head up to look at him, surprised by his answer. Aim looked at him with a more genuine smile. “Is that why you are so upset? Are you afraid to ask me for a hug or a kiss?” The larger skeleton asked with a little grin. 
“I might not get it, but we're a team. One member just can't pull all the weight, I'm too heavy for you to be carrying all the weight of us. I can try my best for you if it will make you happy, just ask. There's nothing wrong giving back to my ‘partner’, eh?” Aim grinned, winking under his goggles. 
Axel stared, the glitchy skeletons gaze was  less upset, and more just shocked and moved by his words. “...you'd…you'd do that for me? Aim please…your boundaries, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable.” He said gently, trying to be careful with his wording. 
“Oi! I don't mind as long as you're happy by the end of it, I gotta keep the hand who feeds me happy, don't i?~” 
Axel rolled his eyes, sighing. He wiped the tears from his eyes, taking in a steady breath to calm himself. “Well…” he said, moving closer to Aim, their bodies close in contact. 
“...I've always wanted to see you without your goggles. The real you. I miss your beautiful eye lights. Please…let me see you.” Axel whispered, shifting his potion, sitting right in front of Aim as he reached out to the ever important goggles that hid Aim's orange eyelights. 
Aim seemed to hesitate, looking unsure as Axel grabbed the edges of his goggles with care. “Heh…they really haven't changed much.” He said, struggling to keep the smile on his face. “Are you sure it's worth your time?” The larger skeleton asked. 
Axel frowned, lifting his goggles above his head gently. “...I'm sure.” He said firmly, cupping Aim's face with his hands, lifting himself up and settling amongst his partner's lap. He moved his face closer to Aim's, a small smile of appreciation and adoration flashing across his face. He was warm, very warm, and the way his eyelights stared back at him caused Axel's soul to flutter intensely with delight. 
He leaned it, pressing his nose against Aim's, an affection nuzzle. “...Is this okay?” He asked after a few tense moments of silence, staring into Aim's face. The other skeleton seemed quite relaxed, his eye lights faintly illuminating the space between them like a dim light, a small light compared to the blue hue spread across Axel's face.
“Of course.” Aim said calmly, “...you know, you're actually pretty light, heh.” He teased. 
“Feeling better?” Aim asked for a few moments, the warmth between them being pleasant, like a warm blanket on a cold day. Axel hesitated, his hands resting on Aim's chest as he let them go from his face. 
“...May I kiss you?” Axel asked, before stopping to think for a second. “-and more?” He asked with an added huskiness to his voice, his soul beating heavily against his ribcage in a flurry of emotions. 
“Sure.” Aim said simply, leaning back. His simple response caught Axel off guard. Stars, did he really trust him that much? Axel looked starstruck, staring at Aim with sparkling eyes full of a swirl of positive emotions, the tears on his face long dry. 
Aim noticed, looking a little concerned, “You alright-?” He questioned, before he was cut off, his words swallowed up as Axel leaned in, pressing their mouths together in a soft, delicate motion. Axel held himself there for several moments, his breath held as he made contact with Aim, a warmth spreading over him, and a warmth he missed once he pulled away. 
His voice came out in a soft tone, full of emotion. 
“....Everything is fine.”
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moonlight-prose · 2 days ago
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RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT ME
➛ 08. LOSING DOGS
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a/n: i can't really explain why i took so long with this chapter. possibly because of how much i don't want this series to end and we're so close. but also it's just been hard to find the inspo as of late. but thanks to a movie day with @soulores where we yearned and screamed and laughed over this man, and well me rewatching the deadpool movies 1 & 2 for wade inspo i managed to finish this. it's been a ride delving into their angst and i hope you enjoy! we're one more chapter away from the ending and from this man's happy ending.
summary: time spent apart gives logan a chance to grieve - to mourn the family he lost. it gives you the opportunity to come to terms with what loving the wolverine means. the consequences that come with the choice of betting on someone like him. after all, he's not a violent dog...he just tends to bite harder than necessary.
word count: 7k+
pairing: logan howlett x f!reader
warnings: not explicit, angst, grief, dual pov chapter sorta, wade wilson breaking the fourth wall, wade wilson therapist, laura kinney is here to stay everyone, crying, pain, emotional turmoil, ptsd, time.
PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER | SERIES MASTERLIST
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You don't sleep anymore.
This wasn't due to a lack of exhaustion—you were always tired—you simply couldn't bear to withstand the dreams longer than necessary. They filled your head with their brutality. Ripped apart your psyche in such a short time frame, only to leave you split open and bleeding for the buzzards and vultures to pick at. You were surprised Wade never commented on how you resembled a walking corpse day after day.
Walking amongst the living as your soul was claimed by the dead.
Nightmares quickly became your waking reality. A piece of what Logan left behind burrowed in your chest, settling further than you could ever reach. But that remained the horrid truth. You didn't want to get rid of it—you couldn't fathom the thought for longer than a few seconds. The remedies given by Wade, Laura, Ness, were all flimsy bandaids that you stripped off when they weren't looking—hoping that the darkness within would eventually consume you whole.
What existed in your mind—in the very depths of your heart—were all you had left of the man who disappeared without a trace.
Staring at the ceiling was easier. Tracing the cracks in the plaster, the worn in marks of people who lived here long before you ever would. You pretended that he lay beside you—his body inches away from reaching for you. In search of a slice of contentment to counteract the yawning grave that threatened to bury him alive. You could play along in this delusion, create a world of your own as your vision blurred.
Maybe if you wished hard enough...it would come true.
Eventually the need for sleep won, dropping shovel after shovel of dirt. Intent on burying you six feet under in a spot that was never meant for you. Memories played on a loop, a reminder of what could never be—a fate that had been mistakenly written in the stars— and you accepted it with a solemn heart that sang a long forgotten song.
One you never should have learned.
A creak echoed in the living room, your door left ajar in case you had to run. But the cadence of her footsteps had grown familiar to your weary ears. The drag of boots across hardwood, a shuffle here and there in her attempt to stay quiet. She hardly left your apartment anymore. Taking a spot on your couch like a guard dog you never asked to keep—a protector who took on the role her father was meant to fill.
Laura often fell asleep on the leather piece of furniture never meant to be utilized as a bed. You peeked your head out once to check if she needed anything, only to find her laying with her body faced closest to the door—a cracked picture frame of a much older version of your Logan placed on the table beside her. Her brows were furrowed, face pinched in fear, and for the first time you understood her relationship to the Wolverine.
She shared much more than his DNA.
She was plagued by his nightmares as well.
Your heart cracked a bit further at the knowledge that she might never have another night of peace in her life. Forever taunted by a past that should have been happy.
Sighing, you turned onto your side, staring at the neon glow of your alarm clock—a polaroid of Logan propped against the lamp. Wade took it months before you got the chance to meet the man who would drastically shift the course of your life. Two days ago you found it on your pillow—a chocolate bar beside it. Wade's attempt at making you smile.
Even if all it managed to do was make you cry.
Broken wet sobs that left your body wracked with shivers, your heart numb to each emotion that might have existed before he walked away. You'd gone over their explanations in your head numerous times. Mulled over each word and soft whisper of why. Yet nothing registered but the emptiness—the hollow ache that spilled over with grief.
No matter how often you patched it back up, he still managed to break his way back in. The reminder of his absence only served to split you down the middle—rendering you incapable of anything but pain.
"I miss him too."
Your body jolted at the soft sound of her voice practically filled to the brim with melancholy. She stood in your doorway, hands limp at her side, and for the first time you saw her as who she really was. A child who lost her father not once, but twice. Wordlessly you dragged the blankets back from his side of the bed, rolling to face her as she clambered onto the mattress still clad in jeans and a t-shirt.
You offered your own pajamas a week ago in the hopes of making her more comfortable. Only for her to reveal she slept in her clothes even at the mansion.
Just in case.
"What was he like? Your father." The topic of the older Logan rarely came up for you, his memory somehow entwined with the man you fell in love with. But Laura knew him best. She'd seen him at his worst, only to watch him become the father he was always meant to be. "You don't have to talk about him if you don't want to."
She sighed, shifting around as if to shed the layer of vulnerability that scratched at her. "Angry."
You smiled. "Always?"
"No," she breathed. This breached onto territory she wasn't used to, memories she never liked to look back on, but for some unknown reason...it made you smile. So she persisted in spite of the discomfort that gnawed at her stomach. "He took care of Charles for a long time before he found me. Or well before I found him. But he had a lot to be angry about."
"I imagine." And you could.
Humans were their own enemy at times, destroying all that was good in the world. After witnessing what Fortuna went through—where her path lay—you understood how people would rather villainize what they didn't understand. Logan faced it each day, the difference of being someone who slipped by unnoticed yet could never truly reveal himself.
A man that carried the grief of all he lost and persisted despite the pain.
"He would have liked you," Laura mumbled, her eyes growing heavy with sleep's desperate call.
"I don't think–"
"You're like Charles." Her eyes slipped shut, body sagging into the mattress, while you were stunned into silence. "That's why."
She fell silent before the words managed to sink deep into your mind—puncturing a spot of love that existed in spite of all this agony. A place that Logan claimed all to himself. Yet as you lay there, tracing the lines of his daughter's face with your eyes, you felt her memory merge with his. Creating a small corner of your world for her to reside in—a home in your heart.
Tucking the blanket around her shoulder, you met sleep's call with a pleased sigh. It gripped you tight, closing its arms around your steady beating heart. Unbeknownst to you as the clock struck two in the morning, a shard of your broken heart wedged itself back into place. Healing over with a jagged scar sewn together by the girl who longed for permanency in a world that offered her the bitter end of a short stick.
The girl who asked for her father and got a mother instead.
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Burnt pancake batter filled your senses, burning the insides of your nostrils as you were roused from sleep to the sharp off key singing of Wade in your kitchen. The spot beside you was empty, the sheets cold, and with a ragged sigh you sat up. Rubbing the sleep from your bleary eyes. What slowly became your favorite part of the mornings—waking up beside a man who did everything he could to keep you between warm sheets—suddenly shifted into a horrid dream.
You were alone. Again.
The familiar prick of tears stung your eyes faster than you would have liked. Although that might have been the pancakes.
In sluggish movements, you dragged a flannel over your t-shirt to combat the frozen chill beginning to settle in the New York air. Fall was right around the corner, leaving you with a list of things to do before the apartment was back in working order. The window still sat unfixed—plastic taped over the gaping hole per Wade's instructions—and the radiator gave out after Fortuna's whip went through it.
"Just call me angel of the morning," Wade crooned, flipping another charred piece of bread onto a stack that began to lean four pancakes ago.
Laura watched it warily, her fingers gripped around a can of shitty soda you picked up for her two days ago. Coffee was offered as an alternative to her sugary habits; she offered to steal in case you were low on funds. You figured it was easier to appease than argue.
"Do you even know how to cook?" she muttered, taking another gulp.
"Such a ray of sunshine. It's like Logan is still here with us." Wade poured another glob of chunky batter onto your now ruined cast iron pan. "Tell me does that come from your genetics or is it a fancy power they gave you?"
She snorted, her claws coming free to stab at the pile and drag a pancake to her plate. "Genetics."
"I figured." He slid the syrup her way, the bowl in his other hand nearly tipping the batter onto the floor. "Use a fork, you alley cat. Housewives do not get paid enough to cook a fantastic meal and serve it too."
"You're not getting paid," Laura mumbled through a mouthful of food.
"Exactly." His head glanced towards the stove, eyes narrowed in mock irritation. "We should talk about that huh Feige."
A pancake slipped off the stack, hitting the counter with a heavy thud and you began to wonder if the bread was in fact what he said it was. Ever since you woke up in the mansion, Wade had been your chef morning noon and night. Each meal entirely came with  
Laura squinted at the smoke rapidly rising to the ceiling. "Maybe you should cook them for shorter periods of time."
"Don't question my methods, I'm a pancake champion Oliver." Her face scrunched, disgust flooding across her narrowed gaze. "Oliver and Company? Orange alley cat led and taught by the smooth dog Dodger?" She shook her head. "Greatest take on Oliver Twist to exist?"
"Never heard of it."
He dropped the bowl, jabbing a finger in her face quick enough to startle you where you hid by the doorway. "I hope you're ready to have your life changed Howlett Junior by the voice of Billy Joel taking away all our worries. Right sweet angel?"
Your attempt to meld yourself into the wall proved unsuccessful when Laura turned to smile at you, trepidation rising to the surface in her eyes. They watched you with an air of indecision. After Logan left you became a ticking time bomb—each second passing quicker than either of them expected—and one day when it was least expected...you'd explode.
Every emotion you tried to push down would shove its way to the front, rendering them unavoidable. That's what terrified you the most. It scared them too—you could see it hidden beneath looks of false joy and hopeful glances. They wanted you to heal, to survive this grueling time of solitude.
You simply didn't know if you had it in you to appease their worries.
Peeling away from the doorframe, you moved closer with soft unsure movements. So unlike the person from before who got over the unrelenting fear of being seen, of one day being known. He read you like a book, flipped the pages with enthusiasm and love, and you thought what resided in your own heart was enough to keep him reading. You believed he might put pen to paper and script what lay in the path of your lives spent together.
But he stopped reading weeks ago, shutting the half empty story to save you from the grief that devoured him from the inside out.
He let you remain unfinished. Perhaps that's how you were always meant to be.
"Tell me somewhere in that sexy mind of yours there's a version of Oliver and Company, cause I can't be surrounded by uncultured fiends," Wade rambled, tossing two pancakes onto a clean chipped plate he slid your way.
"I know of it," you replied. The meek echo of your voice sent a wave of shock through your system—so different, so unrecognizable.
You wanted to be known again, to exist in the confines of someone's mind. Wade and Laura offered up theirs on a silver platter—promising not to tarnish the fracture spirit housed in your weary body.
The burnt flavor of bread nearly made you gag, but Wade's smile forced you to swallow with a half hearted grin. "Isn't it a cartoon?"
Wade huffed. "And we’re comic book characters. What else is new?" Chewing happily on his own plate, he drowned his breakfast in a heaping wave of syrup that dripped onto your flour covered counter. "The offer to watch it today is on the table."
You swallowed thickly, nose wrinkled at the bitter flavor that stuck to the back of your throat. "Actually I'm gonna go into work today."
They froze. Unease stirring to life in the small kitchen as they regarded you with the hesitation you'd grown sick of facing. You couldn't be a recluse for the rest of your life, spending days watching movies on your couch with Wade—sharing quiet dinners with Laura at the table that housed a vase full of decaying flowers. Things wouldn't come to a halt because a man exited your life—they couldn't.
Logan left to heal.
It was time you did the same.
"I don't have much sick leave left," you began, the argument ready to leap off the tip of your tongue. "And my shift ends at six, which gives me enough time to pick up some actual dinner."
"Wolverine 2.0 goes with you," Wade replied—the stern lilt of his voice jarring you for a moment.
"Wade–"
"She goes."
There remained no room left to place your well thought out points in, no space for you to budge on his only demand. You supposed this was better than having both of them show up out of the blue. Your boss hardly let you get away with Logan showing up once or twice; two heroes would send them over the edge, eventually leading to your job being terminated.
You sighed, pushing the food around your plate for a second. "I guess she can learn something. Since she's supposed to be in school."
"You know I'm right here," she interjected, shoving the empty dish towards Wade.
"Hush. The adults are talking." He threw a wink your way, eyes glinting with a mischief that dimmed the day Logan left. The sight filled your lungs with air, hope settling at the base of your empty heart. "I'll pack the lunches."
Warmth filled the empty crevices of your body—sparking life into a part of you that had been vacant for weeks. "You don't have to."
"Shush. I've got to take care of my little breadwinner." He pinched your cheek hard enough to send pain flaring down your neck. "Besides I need to live up to my role as wifey or Ness will stop calling me that in bed."
Laura groaned, her eyes shutting to the sight of Wade's brash smile. "Gross."
"Ew," you replied, unable to hide the grin that cracked across your dried lips. "I didn't need to know that."
"Au contraire. If I had to hear you and Logan go at it for hours at a time. Kudos by the way it sounded like he gave phenomenal dick. You get to listen to me yap about my sex life."
Laura sped past you, vanishing into the bathroom and slamming the door shut with her boot. You couldn't blame her reaction. Hearing about her father's life drudged up pain that still existed in the back of her mind. Grief that she'd have to work through. Yet if she was anything like Logan, you'd have to face your own broken trauma in order for her to finally face hers.
"Yap?" you inquired, desperate to move on from the topic of him.
"Yeah. It's what all my fellow Gen Z’ers are saying."
With brows furrowed, you bit back the swell of laughter that bubbled up your throat. "Wade you're older than me by–"
His hand clapped over your mouth, muffling the remainder of your sentence. "Shhhh." A quick glance was thrown to the side. "Last I checked this is the Logan show. Not the Wade show. Well...not yet anyways."
"Hey Wade," you mumbled beneath a scarred palm that gripped your cheeks together. "Thank you."
For the first time all week...Wade gave you a smile that finally reached his eyes. Irises plagued with the same flicker of sadness that weighed heavy in your heart. The feeling of loss within a found family—of things changing faster than you could process. In an instant you were back to square one, struggling to keep your head above water.
Only this time you weren't swimming these dark waters alone. This time Wade and Laura clung to you, dragging what remained to a shore of a different color. A life yet to be explored.
"Anytime angel," he whispered with a kiss to your temple—drawing you close enough to feel his heart beneath the thin t-shirt. An organ that beat for one more person, that carved out space for his small inkling of hope.
For the family made up of two mutants, a blind woman, a sugar bear, the love of his life, and you.
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The clatter of keychains echoed past the empty rows of shelves, bouncing off high ceilings decorated with yellowed lights. You caught sight of a small X-Men insignia stitched onto the side of the faded gray backpack. The stitches were frayed, the initials of L. K. H. placed right above it in sloppy angled sharpie, but the sight explained enough. Her entire life was stored within these aged pockets, in a pack held closed by a broken zipper and some faith.
"I like the Deadpool one." You watched her gloved hands toy with it for a moment, eyes glancing down the rows of darkened shelves every few moments.
Even here in the midst of silence and history, she remained on guard.
You wanted to promise a sliver of peace beyond all that she went through—a place where nothing happened except the shuffle of books and moving of boxes. Only to realize that you'd never be able to tell her something so untrue.
She'd never be entirely safe again. That made you want to rip at the world until your hands went bloody and raw. Until there remained a guarantee that she'd be able to sleep at night, that when her father came home things would be different.
"Peter made it." She picked at the black polish on her nails—the bottle swiped off your vanity a week ago in the hopes you wouldn't go looking for it. "Said a member of X-Force should have the marker."
"Didn't...they all die?"
"Yeah. So it's more of a warning I guess?" She grinned, wide and bright and so carefree it tugged sharply at your heart.
You placed another stack on the cart, fiddling with the order. If you kept yourself busy you could stop thinking about him. You could shove each memory and shared moment of bliss to the back of your mind. This was your chance to find a small semblance of normalcy after so much damage, a change in the rapidly shifting path of your life. You used to enjoy shelving pieces of history—find contentment in the familiar pattern of routine.
Now his eyes haunted your mind. His touch was a ghost along the back of your neck. His smile was reflected to you in the face of his daughter—the crinkles around her eyes an exact copy of his.
You were doomed to repeat history, destined to break as Fortuna did with a shattered heart and the hope that one day he might come home and find you. He'd open the apartment door set in place by his calloused hands and find you right where he left you—waiting as time stopped and dust gathered and your heart called for a man lost in time.
"I've got to shelve these," you said, voice thick with unshed tears you swallowed down. "But feel free to pick a book okay?"
She nodded, dragging a small journal out of her pack—a chewed up pen with it. "Wade gave me your lunch."
"I'll come find you in an hour?"
"I'm not going anywhere." The words were said more for your benefit than hers—a way to appease the constant flicker of unease in your mind. Perhaps this is what she lived with her whole life. The pain of yearning for someone to come back to her, to stay.
You'd be that person.
You would stay.
Smiling one last time, you pushed the cart into a row sparse with books—the light clicking on above your head as your footsteps echoed off the wooden floor. Your boss texted you quick instructions before she took the upstairs shift, the piles left behind for you to sort through. It seemed that classes were back in session, each book taken out regarding some form of historical information on New York.
Your eyes caught the titles while you worked. Sliding books into their proper spot and discarding the paper slotted in as a placeholder. It became a mindless task. A job of familiarity that your muscles immediately recognized—your arms moving of their own volition. Giving free reign to your mind that turned over information at a rapid rate.
What happens now? What would life turn into?
Now that you were back in a place that held so much of your soul you found that fitting back into the mold felt wrong. You were a human who got caught up in the affairs of mutants. It had happened before to others like you, it would certainly happen again. Yet you weren't sure you could handle the pain of being tossed into the ring with no means of protection again.
Your heart barely survived the first time.
To do it again would mean signing your name along death's dotted line. Only this time the pact would be sealed with your own blood.
A tilted stack of books slid onto their sides, grabbing hold of your attention quicker than expected. You slammed a hand against them with the hopes of saving yourself from extra work. Only for the one in your other hand to slip, hitting the cart with a thud and shoving it a foot away. Your mind went into overdrive—the noise of metal clanging against the tall shelves reverting into the all too familiar crack of a whip.
You gasped, leaping back as if the pile burned right down to your bone—the books toppling to the ground in rapid succession. A domino effect that would leave you crouching for a good twenty minutes to put everything back in its rightful spot.
"No," you exclaimed, your voice unwavering amidst the anxiety that filled your stomach.
Something ripped at the base of your spine, crackling through your body like a livewire. It pulled at every nerve, every tendon and muscle, until you were positive this was more than an overwhelming amount of stress. Your vision went black, a glare of light flashing behind closed eyelids, as the world went still and time rolled to a deathly halt.
Blue washed off your stiff form in rolling waves, curling around your stretched arms and down to the fingers that nearly curled around a book held in midair. A rush of cold air flooded your lungs, expanding them in your chest with a strength you'd never experienced before. As if the missing piece within your DNA finally settled into place—a spot always meant to hold something else.
A power that flared to life with a burning wave of heat.
It welcomed you like a long lost friend. Burrowed into the broken parts of your chest with a promise to put you back together. Time trickled by as your heart started up again—beating slowly against your ribs. Surging past each part of you that intertwined with this newfound link.
You sucked in another breath, eyes fluttering open with a flash of cerulean to see Laura struggling along the bookcase. Her face screwed up in pain, claws buried in the wooden shelves to drag herself forward. She moved an inch at a time, her cry unable to fill the vacant air as she struggled to rip you from the power that fractured your mind.
Such an inconceivable topic: time. Centuries prickled across your skin, millenniums made a home along each bone that grinded to a stop, decades offered you a life that might have ended at the age of eighty.
Infinity. Immortality. An end that rivaled Death.
Oh...what bliss.
"Yes," you relented. An answer to the question that would never be said aloud.
Another pulse of energy flowed off your shoulders, spilling across empty shelves—rattling the boxes that began to topple to the floor. If you weren't careful you'd bring destruction to a building that became your second home. But the consciousness you relied on was suddenly nowhere to be found.
"Stop!" Laura's voice struck you across the face, punching into your chest with enough blistering pain to wake up your mind to what was happening within you.
Slamming your hands against the shelves that stood on either side of you, the light of blue sputtered out, dying quick enough for you to get a hold of your body. Time fell back into place, the books you nearly dropped crashed to the floor with a loud clatter of thuds, and you collapsed. Your knees hit the floor harshly, pain coursing up your legs. Yet you could barely keep your eyes open.
"Laura," you wheezed, body sagging against the shelf.
She collapsed beside you, gathering your hands into a vice-like hold. "What happened? What the fuck was that?"
"Fortuna..."
"Is she alive? Is she here?" Her head raised, eyes scanning the vacant area for signs of your variant self.
"She–" Your vision swirled with spots of black, your head fuzzy with the prick of power that wanted to consume you. "I–"
"We gotta get you home," she muttered, shifting her strength to lift you to your feet—body braced heavily on her as she walked. "I'm calling a cab. Stay with me okay? Just stay awake."
The distant ring of her phone echoed in the background as she dragged you with her, a familiar muffled voice coming through the small speaker. Wade. You wanted to speak to him. Ask him what just happened. But only one person would hold the answers—only one person would make you feel alive again. You sucked in a shaky breath, hot tears spilling down your cheeks. The image of him—his smile, his love—filling your broken mind.
"I'm taking her home," Laura muttered into the line.
Her voice became a buzz in your ears. Sharp and unrelenting and inescapable. Your vision went dark, mind succumbing to the painful twisting of your gut—the need to be anywhere else overtaking every other thought. Laura called your name, shook your shoulders, but the world faded away before you could reach out and grasp it; your body sinking beneath the depths, drowning in the soothing waves of time.
“How did you sleep?”
“No nightmares.”
“Are you lying to me Howlett?”
“I’m not lying,” he confessed. “I didn’t really dream of anythin’ this time around.”
Your own laughter pricked at your ears. “Don’t tell me. It was because of me.”
“I think it might be bub.” His touch ghosted across your skin—breath a wash of hot air against your skin. “Guess you’re my cure. Been lookin’ for awhile.”
"Logan," you murmured, eyes fluttering open.
His smile lit up the darkness in your chest—eyes crinkled and lips parted in a sigh of love. "Yeah bub?"
"Y-You're here..."
A hand curled around the back of your neck, drawing you in close enough to make the steady beat of your heart flutter. "Where else would I be honey? I woke up with ya."
"But you've been gone." Your brows furrowed, the haze in your thoughts blocking anything other than him. "I was with Laura–"
He stilled. "Laura?"
"She was helping me," you mumbled, attempting to force your eyes to stay open. "At the library."
"You're just dreamin'," he chuckled.
"But I'm not–"
Lips that haunted you in your sleep brushed across the bridge of your nose—his fingers scratching at the base of your scalp with a hum. "You haven't met her yet honey. How could you be with her at the library?"
You wrenched your eyes open, clutching at the covers that lay over your bodies in an iron grip. "Fortuna–"
Logan's body went still, his head rearing back to stare at you in abject horror. "How do you know her name?" he rasped. "I never told you..."
"What are you talking about?" The buzzing filled each sense, each part of your already numb body. "Wait. No. I need more time," you begged, tears rushing to the surface.
His face blurred, your name a distant call on the tip of his tongue as the waves crashed over your body. Dragging you back to a shore meant for you. Darkness swallowed you whole in an instant. Until you could barely catch your breath—the speed of time rushing to a quick stop. Within the hold of darkness, the drifting peace of nothingness, you heard it.
The vibrant sapphire call of a woman you believed to be the enemy.
“Do better than me."
"Love him the way I couldn't.
You gasped, thrashing against the vice hold that wrenched you apart. The voice whispered soothingly in your ear, a warm compression against a heart that longed for more than this unfathomable excruciating ache.
She drew you to your feet, hands clasped around your wrists, and helped you stagger to the ocean's edge. She faced you with a mirrored smile that faded weeks ago—her eyes bright and flickering with peace.
"Do what I couldn't." Thumbs pressed into the base of your wrist. "Protect them. All of them."
A thick sob ripped from your chest—eyes blurry with tears that refused to stop. "How? I-I shouldn't be this."
"It was always meant to be you. Not me."
"W-What?"
"When Death asks for your hand. Take it. She will lead you home." The scathing brightness of sunlight burned your closed eyelids, pushing you towards something familiar. A place you knew would protect you. "Until then. Show them that time was never the enemy. We're simply their companion."
"Fortuna!" you cried, the form of her slowly dissipating back into the realm of darkness not yet meant for you. "I can't do this! I'm not supposed to be this!"
"Tell him I'm sorry."
Hands grasped at your shoulders. The cold press of metal against the bare skin of your arms jolted you awake—lungs expanding with air that felt like home. The floral scent of your laundry soap filled your nose, the warmth of your bed dragged along your body, and the brush of hair on your neck drew you back to the present. Your eyes fluttered open, chest heaving for any amount of air you could draw in.
"Laura?"
She sighed, dropping the hold she had on your shoulders. "You did it again."
"Did it again?"
"Looks like someone got jealous of all these special powers around her," Wade teased from the doorway of your room—a glass of water in his hand.
"What?" you croaked, suddenly aware of how raw your throat was.
He huffed, settling on the side of your bed. "You've got a bad case of the McFlys. Traveling to and fro in the timeline. Don't think the big guy upstairs will like that very much."
"God?"
"Victor."
You choked. "Who?"
"Or maybe it's Loki," he huffed. "I get that show's timeline confused. Anyways up you go. Drink this. Nurse Wade's orders."
With reluctance you downed the glass of water, Laura's watchful gaze burning into your from the chair. They moved with hesitation brimming to the surface of their eyes—a glaze of uncertainty prominent in each shift of their bodies. They were scared. Whether it was due to what you were turning into or what you could become. You couldn't be certain at this time, but the fear still lingered in the air.
Thick and bitter and so unlike the two mutants who'd become your family in the past few weeks.
"What's happening to me?" you whispered, Wade's hand reaching for yours with a placating grin.
"I've got one guess and it's dredging up memories of that fucker Francis, but dormant mutant gene." The panic in your eyes had him reaching for your other hand. "Hey look at me angel okay? I know how to handle this."
You shook your head, that unsettling twist in your gut rising to the surface. "I'm not...No. That's not possible. I would have..." You hiccuped, oxygen becoming harder to reach for as his words began to settle along your skin. "I would have known," you whispered.
"I didn't." He drew you close enough for his nose to brush your forehead. "That little surprise landed in my lap like a bad case of chlamydia. It's rare, but it happens."
"Why me?" you uttered, unable to process anything other than Laura's sharp gaze."
He sighed. "We don't get to pick and choose. Something must have triggered it."
Fortuna's hold on your jaw, the rocks scattered along the dirt digging into your back. It all came back to you. Her final words bleeding with an act of sacrifice—a promise to gift you with the curse she was unable to handle. Do better than her. Protect them better than her. Wield the ebbing and flowing of time better than her.
She awoke a part of you that had yet to come to life. A dormant section of your DNA that might have forever gone unnoticed if her powers hadn't unlocked it. She gave you everything, dropped the burden on your shoulders, because she knew something you didn't at the time.
You had people—a family, a lover—to keep you stable.
You had the one thing she couldn't save.
"It was always meant to be you. Not me."
Laura sat up, her hands clasped tightly in her lap. "It's time."
Wade glanced over his shoulder. "We don't know where he is Oliver."
She sneered, digging out the small phone from her vest pocket. "I do. I gave him the keys."
"Call who?" you rasped, barely able to process that you were back home somehow.
Until her eyes met yours and drew you back to the surface with a name that burned right through your heart. "Logan."
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The sharp thwack of an axe against wood filled the still air. Mist clung to the area, settling over his shoulders with a wet layer of frigid condensation. He felt it weigh in his hair, sink into his flannel, and send a wave of cold familiarity through his body. A place he never thought could exist in a different universe somehow stood the test of time. The Logan that came before was somehow more like his variant self than expected.
He sighed, wiping the sweat from his forehead—the split open skin of his palms healing over before he could get a glimpse of them. The axe remained lodged into a mangled tree stump. Slivers and pieces of all that he chopped scattered in the clearing. He'd have to pick them up eventually, but he chose to stick with the same motion.
A piece of muscle memory he'd grown used to.
The sun began its descent beneath the thicket of trees, nightfall coming once more to a home occupied by a single person. Merely him and the stack of unread books left behind by a man who shared his taste. He yanked the flannel off his body, tossing it to the chair on his small porch, setting another log into place with a breath.
"Fuck," he muttered, cracking his neck slightly.
A mug of cold coffee sat discarded on the small table he constructed two weeks ago. A means to an end. A way to keep his racing mind busy from the pain that echoed like a bad dream in his head. He'd forgone the whiskey bottles stored in the liquor cabinet, opting for the bitter tang of the wine you preferred with your dinner.
The image of your smile kept him awake most nights. The sound of your laughter playing on a loop like a scratched record he clung to. This was his salvation. Your memory, your joy. It kept him going on days where the horrors threatened to drag him beneath the surface of the Earth.
He dug his grave long before he met you. Whether or not he crawled into it relied on one simple fact.
Though he dragged you through hell—became the cause of so much suffering within your life—you still loved him. You were waiting for him to come home.
"Desperado," he hummed, yanking the axe out of the splintered wood. "Why don't you come to your senses."
Discarding the tool to the side, he gathered what wood might be needed for a small fire. It wouldn't have any effect on whether he stayed warm or not, but it would put him at ease after such a grueling task. Tomorrow he'd go back to work at the yard—his measly paycheck enough to keep him fed with meals cooked in solitude.
He tossed them beside his fireplace, wiping the dirt and mud from his hands with the damp flannel. Life shifted the second Laura handed him the keys to this house on the edge of nowhere. Back to a routine he once knew so well. To a life that once offered him the facade of peace. He might have deluded himself into thinking it would happen again—that he'd get the chance to breathe again.
But your memory clung to his soul. You refused to release him from the spell of your love.
Fortuna's memory remained at the back of his mind like a long lost friend—someone who once offered him a future filled to the brim with hope. And then there was you. His honey. His lover till death. You were the reason he kept himself breathing, the reason his heart continued to thrum in his chest.
You were his savior, guiding him through the grief with a warm smile and a kiss of life.
The shrill ring of his phone broke the haze of memories he found himself in. Dropping into the chair beside his bed, he unlaced his boots—yanking the device out of the drawer on his dresser. He rarely needed it anymore. The contact he had with the rest of the world now whittled down to the people he worked with and the cashier at the small market.
With a sigh, he flipped it open in the hopes it was Wade calling to finally bug him about returning. It wouldn't be unusual. Weeks went by sluggishly, dripping like honey from the jar as he attempted to fix the broken parts of his heart.
Leaving without saying goodbye is what hurt the most. His silent kiss pressed to your cold forehead, his lingering gaze that did what he could to burn your features into his mind. He wanted you with him. Here in this small home. He wanted to hear your laughter fill up the empty spaces, the warmth of your love shining in the air with a palpable physicality that stole his breath away.
Logan ached for you.
But you didn't deserve a man riddled with demons. Certainly not the version of himself that left you behind.
Laura's name flashing across the screen set that familiar unease back in his stomach. The terror that something happened again—something brought you pain when he wasn't there to protect you—filled the crevices of his heart. And with a shaky breath, he answered.
"Laura."
She interrupted him before empty pleasantries could rise to the surface. "You need to come home."
He swallowed thickly. "What happened?"
"I can't explain over the phone, but it's bad. She's not gonna cope without you here."
"What the fuck do you mean cope?" he bit out, his eyes flashing to the small framed image of you that sat proudly on his nightstand. "Is she hurt?"
"No."
He sucked in a breath, relief washing over his shoulders. "Is she okay?"
Laura hesitated. "She's...broken." The word struck him with a visceral anger—an emotion that nearly caught him off guard. "She needs you here Dad. Wade and I can only do so much and if I knew she was dormant I could have helped sooner."
Dormant.
He stiffened, fingers tightening around the phone hard enough for it to crack. "What do you mean by dormant?"
Laura sucked in a breath. "She's..." A beat of silence filled his chest with a fear he never knew could exist in this universe. "She's like us, Dad. She's like her."
Like her.
The world shifted on its axis as he sat there listening to Laura's shaky attempts to explain what occurred. How you needed him this time around. His heart rammed an unsteady beat in the confines of his chest. An echo that rang with a crippling hollow promise of loneliness. Only this time it didn't scream for him—it raged for the person he loved.
The person he left behind.
"Send her here," he said. And before his mind could comprehend the words spilling past his lips, he made a vow he failed to keep—a promise he'd fulfill until his final breath. "I'll keep her safe."
note: this is incredibly late than what i originally planned, but life has been chaotic. and to everyone in the us who are struggling, i hope you take care of yourself this week. we got this and i love you.
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himasgod · 3 days ago
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Kinich x r4ped!reader
Scaramouche x family issues!reader
(I finally finished this request! I've tried to make it as non-specific as possible, I know this is a sensitive subject. If any of you, dear readers, have gone through a similar experience, I want you to know that this is a serious subject, and that you are not alone. You have many things, many people, many laws and entities protecting you. Feel free to express yourself. You can count on me if you need anything.)
Kinich
Where you find comfort on him after being sexu4lly 4bused.
It was a thick night in Natlan, and the heat was barely able to alleviate the weight you felt in your chest. In the last few days, you had tried to return to your normal life, pretending that everything was fine; but the reality was that the shadows of your pain continued to haunt you. You didn't want to talk, not even to Kinich, afraid that your words would fail to convey the hell you had lived through. However, the concern in his eyes convinced you that tonight you could no longer bear your suffering alone.
Kinich was at your side, silent. Not asking for explanations, not pressuring. Despite his pragmatic personality, he was perceptive and knew when someone was carrying more than they could hold. He watched you for a moment, his eyes serious and attentive, without traces of judgment, only open for whatever you decided to trust him with.
"You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to say," Kinich murmured softly, breaking the silence gently. His rough hands, accustomed to combat and hunting, sought yours with unusual care, as if he were afraid of breaking you at the slightest contact. “But I am here, for whatever you need. You know I love you, forever”
You felt the calm strength in his touch. A shiver ran through your skin, as if Natlan’s warmth was not enough to calm the coldness that had remained inside you since that fucking day. The words were stuck in your throat, and although you wanted to answer him, your voice seemed to have faded. But Kinich understood, as if your silence spoke for itself. He gently pulled you towards him, and without saying anything else, he let his arm surround your body with a protective warmth, gently, as if he were leaving you enough time to react, in case you did not want to have any contact.
“I know that what they did to you…” he began to say, his voice low and full of a weight that he rarely showed, “is something that no human being should endure. I can't undo what they did to you, or erase that pain… but I'll be here, even if you just want company without words."
You squeezed your eyes shut, and at last, the knot in your chest began to give way. Tears ran free, and Kinich didn't look away for a moment. He stayed by your side, like an immovable pillar in the middle of the storm that was hitting you. There was no rush, no attempt to change or minimize what you felt. He was simply there, sharing the weight in silence.
When you finally found your voice, you could barely whisper through your tears:
"I'm scared… scared that I'll never feel whole again, that this has taken a part of me away forever. I feel dirty, I've been taken away…"
Kinich looked at you, his gaze filled with an empathy rare in him. With a deliberate slowness, on purpose in case you didn't feel comfortable, he placed his hand on your face, gently wiping away the tears with his thumb.
"You're so much more... you are stronger than you think,” he replied, with a conviction so deep that he almost managed to make you believe him. “They haven’t taken anything from you. You will overcome it, and you will be the same as always. It is just a process that you will face… and I will be there throughout the process, helping you. You will overcome it. I promise you that.”
His words were like a balm, sincere and firm. Although the doubt and the pain were still present, Kinich’s presence enveloped you in a feeling of security. He did not promise that everything would be fine, but he did promise that he would be there, ready to accompany you in every step you took to heal.
You both stayed like that, sharing the silence under Natlan’s starry sky, and you understood that in Kinich you had found a refuge.
Scaramouche
Where he comforts you after you've told him your family's expectations of you.
The mood in Sumeru was gloomy, reflecting the weight of your thoughts. You had had a heated argument with your family earlier that morning, a conflict that seemed to repeat itself in an endless cycle. It was differences of expectations, impossible demands, and a constant comparison that drained every particle of peace you tried to build. You didn't know how to explain to them your desire to live on your own terms, without the weight of their expectations on your shoulders.
You found yourself walking aimlessly through the city, trying to clear your mind. However, a familiar shadow appeared in your path, and looking up, you saw Scaramouche, arms crossed and a disdainful expression you knew all too well.
"Are you done ghosting around town?" he asked in his usual scathing tone, but something in his eyes revealed more concern than contempt.
You sighed, trying to keep your composure, but the tension in your chest was too strong.
“If you’ve only come to make fun of it, then you might as well leave it,” you replied in a dry tone, hoping your words would drive him away.
To your surprise, Scaramouche didn’t move. Instead, he stared at you intently, as if he were trying to decipher the shadows behind your words.
“I’m not here to make fun of you, fool,” he murmured, his tone softening only slightly. “Though sometimes it seems like you don’t even understand what you need.”
His words made your barriers crumble, and without knowing how, you found yourself telling him everything. The overwhelming expectations, the rejection of your decisions, the constant criticism that felt like daggers in your heart. As you spoke, Scaramouche’s expression changed, a mix of contained rage and dark compassion that only he seemed to possess.
“So… you can’t live up to them and they know it,” he finally said, after listening to you in silence. “Why do you have to mold yourself in their image?”
You looked at him in shock, tears threatening to spill out. It was the first time someone had said it out loud, like a truth you hadn’t allowed yourself to believe.
“Because… they’re my family. I’m supposed to make them happy.”
Scaramouche snorted, his gaze turning icy.
“That’s absurd,” he muttered, a hint of bitterness in his voice. “Family shouldn’t be a burden that crushes you. They don’t have the right to decide how you live. If they truly loved you, why would they hurt you this way?”
His words were harsh, but they carried a sincerity that cut through every one of your doubts. You moved a little closer, seeking refuge in his presence. Though Scaramouche rarely showed affection to you, eben if he was your boyfriend, this time he didn’t pull away. Instead, he let you lean on him, his hand resting gently on your back as the weight of your tears fell silently.
“You don’t need to live up to their expectations to be worth something. If they don’t see it, it’s their problem, not yours,” he murmured, almost in a whisper. “And I… well, I’m the last one who should say this, but… you’re not alone in this fight.”
For the first time in a long time, you felt like someone understood you without judging you. Scaramouche, with his reticent nature and his own history of pain, knew more than he let on.
And in that instant, you realized that even if your family would never understand your choices, maybe you had someone at your side who could support you without asking for anything in return.
Here is my masterlist, in case you are interested in any more of my work or want to send me a request <3
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muqingfx · 3 days ago
Note
can you write mu qing being nursed back to health against his wishes please. he would never admit it even if it meant dying (cough.. mt tonglu lava scene.. cough) so it's what he deserves
anon didnt specify for ships, so i did what any normal person would do. four of them. whether its platonic or romantic is totally up to you!
"Let. Me," Mu Qing struggles against Xie Lian's vice-like grip with gritted teeth "go." He swings his fist to land a blow on his friend's jaw in an attempt to break free, but his punch is deterred by yet another nuisance.
“Feng Xin,” Mu Qing hisses, vision still blurry. If it weren't for Xie Lian’s hold on him, Mu Qing would have shamefully collapsed head-first into the dirt.
“Mu Qing,” he hears Xie Lian say softly, “you just need some rest.”
“You don't get to strangle me!” Mu Qing retaliates, kicking and screaming like a child.
From beside him, he hears Feng Xin click his tongue. “We’re not fucking strangling you. And if you weren't so fucking difficult–”
“Just leave me alone!” Mu Qing finally manages to shove them both away. Are his eyes playing tricks on him again or is he swaying on his feet? “Why can't you just… let me be?” he catches himself asking before tumbling to the ground.
“Bloody rascal, how on earth did this happen?”
“I think they used a spell to weaken his body. His spiritual powers are still depleted–if might take a while for it to rise up again on it’s own, San Lang.”
“Then, what does gege suggest we do?”
Mu Qing winces when something wet presses against his abdomen. His eyes flutter open, yet all he sees is solid darkness.
“He’s waking up!” he hears Feng Xin say. “Mu Qing, can you hear me.”
Of course I can hear your, oaf, is what Mu Qing tries to say, but his voice catches at his throat.
A cold palm presses against his forehead and Mu Qing wants nothing more than to slap it off.
“He’s burning up.” Hua Cheng. The hand moves further down his face, fingertips brushing against his eyelids. There’s a brief moment of utter vulnerability, as if Mu Qing is giving up his soul for another. But then his vision clears, and he sees three very different expressions on familiar faces.
Xie Lian’s temple is creased, his mouth downturned as he stares at Mu Qing’s face. And upon glancing down, he sees Xie Lian’s hand squeezing his own. A face of unhidden concern; pity. Something dark brews inside as he processes that–being a damsel in distress, the General of the Southwest. Ridiculous.
Feng Xin is kneeling on the mat beside him, a damp cloth in his hand. His thick brows are furrowed as he scowls at Mu Qing. Strands of brunette hair fall over his face, his usually somewhat-neat bun now undone. He looks tired, annoyed. At Mu Qing. For what, wasting his time? For being so infirm and demanding attention? Nobody asked him to take care of Mu Qing, that imbecile.
And then there's the beast of a man, Hua Cheng. Hands folded across his chest, he looks as nonchalant as ever. His eyes sear into Mu Qing, bored and degrading.
Mu Qing feels the headache he had woken up with aggravate.
“Why am I being gawked at like some pathetic critter?” It comes out coarse and rough, his throat still aching and sore.
“Pathetic, indeed,” Hua Cheng sneers.
A knot tightens in his gut, the humiliation finally settling in. Gathering the strength to do so, Mu Qing lifts himself so his elbows support his weight. A sharp pain surges through him and both Xie Lian and Feng Xin scramble to grasp his arms, preventing the demeaning fall.
“Careful, Mu Qing,” Xie Lian chides. His fingers dig into Mu Qing’s skin–wait, where are his clothes?!
As if reading his mind, Feng Xin says, “Your clothes are ruined. Covered in fucking blood. We took it off so we could dress your wounds. Which are fucking bad, by the way.”
“Fuck you guys, that doesn't mean you can strip me of my robes. I’m not a doll.”
He feels Xie Lian’s hold on him weaken, a flicker of hurt passing through his eyes–did Mu Qing go too far?
“I don't mean–I… that's not. What I. You know. I’m–”
The bed dips on his right, and Mu Qing trails off. From his peripheral vision, he sees Hua Cheng taking off his own upper robe.
“If you're so uncomfortable,” he says casually, “you can put this on, general.” The ghost king drapes his red upper robe over Mu Qing’s shoulder, and his touch is so gentle, so tender, Mu Qing actually trembles.
“Cold?” he asks, right into Mu Qing’s ear. Mu Qing’s head tips forward to bypass Hua Cheng’s warm–how is it warm when he’s dead–breath. When he glances up, he locks eyes with Xie Lian, who pouts with his eyes wide like a deer’s.
“We’re not strangers.” his palms cup Mu Qing’s cheeks, and he finds himself leaning towards the touch. “We’re your friends.”
“Yeah, jackass. Stop pushing us away with every inch of your fucking life. It’s fucking annoying,” Feng Xin just has to add.
Mu Qing turns his head to glare, but Feng Xin smiles like a maniac instead of glaring right back. It’s fond and adoring and completely unlike him.
Hua Cheng scoffs from beside him. “It’s really not that hard to let yourself be spoiled, just for a little bit. You're too hard on yourself, Xuan Zhen.”
“Fucking hate to agree with Hua Cheng,” he hears Feng Xin mutter.
“Ugh…” Mu Qing hides his face with his hands, embarrassed. He’s sure he looks nothing less than a tomato.
Xie Lian’s chuckle fills the air and Mu Qing thinks that maybe this isn't so bad.
This is nice.
He might not want this again, or he definitely will want this again.
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unremarkablehouse · 2 days ago
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The Times That He Carried Her
Ch 1| PG | Before IWTB | hurt/comfort | A03
Summary: Scully doesn’t want to face the outside world on a frosty Fall morning, luckily Mulder is there to help her get to work.
tagging: @today-in-fic
The morning felt subdued by the cold; a thick layer of frost covered the outside world. The chill ached Mulder’s fingers as he scraped the ice off Scully’s car window with the neon green scraper they picked up almost a decade ago and had served them well. The ice came off the windshield easily, and Mulder wondered if they had enough time to clear out the pole barn for Scully to park in before the weather really turned. Starting Scully’s car in park, Mulder cranked up the heater so the car would be nice and warm for her morning commute. Scully had never asked him to de-ice or warm up her car, and he knew she was more than capable of doing it herself, but he’d been doing it for so many years it would be harder to break the habit than to de-ice her car on cold mornings. 
Walking back into their house with a shudder, Mulder smiled as Scully wordlessly handed him her mug of coffee to warm his hands. Taking a sip, Mulder carefully took in Scully’s posture as she nibbled on a corner of her toast and became concerned by what her demeanor. A fleece blanket was draped like a cape over her shoulders, covering her pants suit, and there was an involuntary wince as she despondently ate small bites of her toast and stared at her plate. Placing her coffee back in front of her, Mulder lovingly swept some strands of hair off her forehead, giving a soft smile when she finally looked up at him. 
“Are you feeling alright Scully, you’ve barely touched your breakfast.” 
“I’m okay, just a little sore and achy this morning.”
Mulder’s mind flashed back to the night before, their love making had been much rougher than normal and Mulder took advantage of Scully’s voracious appetite to extend the session much longer than week night sex normally allowed. 
As Mulder looked over at Scully’s impossibly tiny body hunched in pain, he was filled with concern and regret.
“Was I too rough last night, are you hurt?”
Scully gave a snort at Mulder’s angst, amused by his belief that he was the cause of her discomfort. 
“No Mulder, I just got my period this morning and I’m feeling bloated and crampy.” 
Mulder nodded, rubbing her back with his hand, holding back from saying that he ‘tapped the ketchup bottle too hard.’
Despite not uttering the words aloud, Scully slapped Mulder, apparently able to hear him think his inappropriate comments. 
“Why don’t you call in sick today? You can go back to bed, or we can cuddle on the couch and watch Rosemary’s Baby.”
Scully gave a grim smile at Mulder’s movie choice, the man was ridiculous and she begrudgingly loved it. With a heavy sigh Scully realized that she’d have to leave the warm comfort of the house and pretend to be a functional adult today. With an extra big pout she explained, “I can’t, one of my out of state patients is scheduled to see me. I’ll be fine, I just don’t want to go out into the cold yet.” 
Finishing the last of her coffee, Mulder watched Scully’s look of sadness as she prepared to take off her blanket and brace herself for the chill of the outside world. Leaning in close to kiss her on the cheek, Mulder clenched the blanket around Scully and whispered in her ear, “do you want me to carry you to the car?”
A small nod against his chest was her answer, and Mulder bent down so she could wrap her arms around his neck while he cradled her legs in his arms. Careful to keep the fleece blanket in place, Mulder smiled as Scully buried her face into his chest as they made their way outside. 
Scully managed to get the car door to open a crack and Mulder used his hip to swing it open wider so he could deposit her in the driver's seat. 
Scully smiled as Mulder opened her passenger’s door and let himself in. The car was toasty warm and she was grateful for the few extra minutes with him before she had to head to work. The weight of Mulder’s hand on hers as it rested on the gearshift brought tears to her eyes and slowly she began to unravel as the car approached the big security gate. 
Putting the car back in to park, Scully let the car idle as she wiped back her tears. Mulder remained silent as Scully tried to gather herself, knowing that it was time to listen. 
“I was late,” Scully croaked, willing Mulder to catch her meaning. 
“It wasn’t by much, 6 weeks, but I was going to take a test today. Now I don’t have to.” 
Kissing her hand Mulder nodded, the brief glimpse into her pain made him marvel at her strength. 
“It was stupid to get my hopes up. I feel like I already got my miracle and I gave him away, now we’ll never be parents.”
“Hey, stop that, we are parents.”
The sternness in Mulder’s voice stopped Scully mid-sob. 
“Our son is alive because of you Dana. You gave that to him- the chance at a safe and normal life. You are an amazing mother, you live with this pain to protect him.”
Scully nodded as the tears ran down her face. Wordlessly, Mulder shifted his body and Scully immediately buried her face in his shoulder, relishing the comfort of a Mulder hug. 
Kissing Scully on the crown of the head and squeezing her tighter, Mulder wondered how he was ever going to let her go so she could actually drive to work. 
“You know Scully, we don’t know for sure how you got pregnant last time, but I’m pretty certain we improved the odds with the sheer frequency that we were having sex.”
“True,” Scully replied with a giggle that reverberated through Mulder’s chest.
“I’m just saying, we could have more sex to increase our chances again.”
“Mulder, our sex life is well above the average for couples our age. I don’t want you to get tired of me.” 
Mulder tilted Scully’s chin up so she could look him in the eyes and earnestly breathed out, “never.” 
Mulder sealed his vow with a kiss, their mouths moving together as Scully tried to communicate her gratitude and love for him without words. 
As Scully pulled away, there was a new lightness in her demeanor and Mulder knew she was going to be alright. 
Scully straightened herself up and announced to Mulder that she better leave soon or she’ll be late. 
Mulder paused as he opened the car door, “see you tonight, tomato soup for dinner.”
Scully rolled her eyes and shoved him out of the car with a laugh. 
“Mulder, see if you can find my copy of Carrie so we can watch it.”
Scully’s joke caught Mulder off guard, and Scully smirked with pride as he chuckled while opening the gate for her. Things were going to be okay. 
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seitmai · 1 day ago
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Very late and very many thoughts, so I'm gonna utilize the read more function
“How the hell are you still consistently finding this much alcohol? We’re barely finding enough food.” Heaving himself up until he’s sitting on the edge of his mattress, Jake rests his head heavily in his hands as the world continues to spin around him. Still slurring slightly, he mutters, “‘s not enough. Two bottles a night aren’t helpin’ anymore. Nightmare’s back.”
😬😬😬
The water heater broke a few months ago and with no one left in their dwindling group who knew how to fix it, freezing showers had become the norm.
Not me adding "learn basics of fixing a water heater" to my to do list lmao
Jake used to use the board as his motivation to keep fighting, to not let more names be added to the list. But now that it contains so many faces of the people he cared deeply for or respected—you, Coyote, Iceman, Cyclone, Payback—it has become a constant reminder of all the ways he failed. 
💔💔💔
 Next to her, Bob scans the area just beyond the fence, his blue eyes alert behind his cracked glasses. With his unusual prescription, it’s been impossible to find a replacement after they slipped off his face running from a pack of creatures. He made it safely to the church in one piece—one of his lenses did not. Yet, he has never once complained or made excuses for his impaired vision. 
Bob is just such a good soul 🥺
“Oh, Jake…” Your hands fly up to cover your mouth as your eyes continue to roam over his body. Yet even covered, he can see your jaw trembling as you cry, “Baby, what…We promised if something ever happened to the other, we wouldn’t give up. We would keep fighting.” “I’m still here, aren’t I?” Jake snaps. But then he wilts under the weight of your gaze. Scrubbing his hand over his face, he whispers, “I almost ended it—a few times. Drugs, booze, even thought I’d take my nickname literally. Made a noose and everything. But the thing that always stopped me was that promise. So, yeah, I–I’ve been a bit of a mess since you—” he gestures at your transformed self “—and I’m sorry. I tried to be strong but losing you was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. We were supposed to face this hellscape together and I didn’t know how to cope without you so I let myself become someone that I hate. But now that you’re back—”
This broke my heart.. it shows how truly broken Jake is and that every day is a struggle with her for him💔
You turn to gaze into the darkness surrounding you. “It’s like acid in my veins, a constant burning fire in my gut that only grows stronger if it’s not satisfied. Blood’s the only thing that soothes the pain for even a few hours, but it’s never enough. I’ve tried to stop myself, I have, but each time I drink it gets hard to fight. And with every life I take, I feel a little more of myself slip away. I’m not the woman you loved anymore, Jake. I’m just a monster with her face.” Jake shakes his head with a firm set in his jaw. “No. I don't believe that. It's still you. Why else would you have looked for me? The woman I love is still here and she needed to see me just as much as I needed to see her.”
He is still so in love 🥺
“And I don’t care what you think.” Without hesitation, Jake crosses the remainder of his little haven of sunlight and steps forward to join you in the inky darkness. You cower back again but he takes another step to maintain the same distance between you. “You're not going to hurt me. I know that. Because you're so strong and brave and you can fight this–”
The way he believes and trust in her more than she does herself 🥹
This newest revelation is the last straw for Jake. A man can only process so much trauma at once before he reaches his breaking point. Falling to his knees, he hangs his head, tears dripping off his face onto the dusty tile beneath him as his shoulders shake with stifled sobs. 
I just wanna give him a hug, this is a lot 😭
You fall silent again, but Jake just continues to cry with no acknowledgment of what you said. After a moment of this, you plead, “Jake, talk to me. Tell me what you’re thinking. If you want me to go—”  “Please…” Jake breathes, the weight of the past two years pressing down on him. “Please let me hold you.” “W-what?” Based on the utter shock in your voice, that is not what you were expecting him to say. It takes everything in him, but Jake lifts his eyes so they meet yours. “Baby, I need you in my arms again. To feel you, touch you, prove this is real. I have dreamed about you every night for two years. Horrible, bloody nightmares that have destroyed my life. I need you to chase those nightmares away.”
He is desperate for a moment of solace and how it was 2 years ago that he is willing to die for that 😭
“Jake, have you not heard a word I’ve said? I’ve killed our friends and I’ll kill you too. Or worse, I’ll turn you.” “I want you to,” he whispers.
He is so done with this life 🥺
“Please…” Jake sobs loudly, too emotionally and mentally drained to get to his feet and walk to you. “I can’t live without you anymore. I need us to be together, whatever that looks like.” “You don’t know what you’re asking.” “You’ve made it pretty clear. But I’m willing to bear the pain, the…the consequences of this choice if it means I can be with you. So, please, don’t make me spend one more second without you. Either kill me or turn me, but I can’t do this anymore.”
😭😭😭
Jake can’t wait any longer. He grabs your hand and pulls you into his chest, squeezing you as tightly as he possibly can. Your skin is icy beneath his touch, but he doesn’t care. He’s holding you in his arms again and nothing else in the world matters.  Squeezing you tighter, Jake mutters, “No. It’s okay, baby. I want this. Just let go.”
He has already made his peace 🥺
“I’m sorry,” you whisper, black tears falling on his chest. “I’ll be as gentle as I can.”
❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹
Soft moans and gasps that have Jake flashing back to all those times you were beneath him as he drove you closer and closer to the edge. And for just a second, he can bear the pain knowing he is giving you some semblance of pleasure.
He truly would do anything for her 🥺
Jake picks up the soft sound as it is breathed across the empty warehouse, his ears already tuning into sounds humans shouldn’t be able to hear. His eyes flutter open and just over your shoulder, he can see Bob and Phoenix bathed in sunlight standing at the entrance to the building. Bob has tears in his eyes, his lips whispering your name in horror as he watches the growing gory mess you are making of Jake’s neck. He glances back and forth between Jake and Phoenix, silently pleading with her to find a way to fix this.
Poor Bob 🥺
But Phoenix just stares at the pair of reunited lovers, her jaw set tightly. And Jake knows she understands. Phoenix always understands. 
Of course she does 🥹
Jake is weak from blood loss and pain, but he manages the slightest of nods. Lifting two fingers to her forehead, Phoenix gives Jake a small salute in return.
What a small but beautiful goodbye between them 😭
Then she raises her flashlight. As the beam of light strikes your shoulder, your mouth instantly disappears from Jake’s throat with an agonized hiss as you try to flee from the pain. But using what strength he has left, Jake holds you in place. Smiling as every cell in his body begins to burn differently from before, he whispers, “Together.” And he holds up his hand which is cracking and disintegrating in the light just like yours. Though still pained, your face softens as you realize what he is doing. Transformation or death, those had been his choices. However, it turns out it wasn’t an “or” but an “and”. Reaching out, you link your fingers with his, your skin flaky and fragile in his grasp. You snuggle your head against the unbitten crook of his neck, whimpering slightly as the light does its job, and you whisper back, “Together.” Jake wraps his other arm around you and holds you close, silently vowing to never let go again.
Together 😭❤️😭❤️😭
The last thing he sees before his world slips away is the strangely beautiful swirl of particles of your two disintegrating bodies intermingling in the beam of sunlight. 
A beautiful ending together, like they deserved🥹
Drink With Me (Part 2)
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AI-Less Whumptober 2024: Day 6. self-sacrifice Fandom: Top Gun, Top Gun: Maverick, Jake "Hangman" Seresin, f!reader, Vampire Apocalypse AU Summary: Two years after Jake was forced to watch you ripped apart by the creatures that now terrorize the world, he is a shell of the man he once was. However, a familiar voice calling to him in the dark may give him a second chance. Word Count: 5911 TW: Hurt/Comfort, Blood, Vampires, Character Death, Murder, Grief, Biting, Mention of Suicidal Thoughts, Drinking (alcohol and blood), Language Notes: Not beta read so sorry for any mistakes! Part of @ailesswhumptober's event! 💗
Series Masterlist
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“No….No!” 
He tries to race to your side, to stop the torment playing out before his eyes, but he is held back by hundreds of hands wrapping around him, pulling him away. Fighting against them with every ounce of his strength, he screams, “Get the fuck off of me! We need to help her! No! What the fuck are you doing?” 
“She’s gone, Hangman,” dozens of disembodied voices whisper in unison from the darkness behind him. “I’m so sorry, but there’s nothing else anyone can do for her now. It’s over. It’s been over for years. You failed. Just as you continue to fail every night.”
“No! I can save her! Please, let me save her this time!” Jake sobs as he continues to struggle against whatever is holding him back. “Please!”
But it’s no use. He’s not strong enough. As he is dragged farther and farther away, he sees you lift your head one last time, panic and pain etched across your face. You lock eyes with him and just have time to scream a terrified, “Jake!” before one of the creatures rips your throat out with its teeth—
Jake bolts upright with a deep gasp, only to immediately collapse back onto his mattress with a pitiful moan. He grabs his head as it throbs painfully with every beat of his racing heart and he squeezes his eyes together tightly in an attempt to stop the world from spinning around him. But it does little to help. His nearly naked body feels sticky and gross tangled in his soiled sheet and he wonders if it’s just sweat from the nightmare, or if he vomited in his sleep again. Maybe both…probably both. 
At least he is fairly certain he hadn’t pissed himself this time if the intense pressure in his bladder is any indication. However, he doesn’t have the faintest desire to crawl to the bathroom so he’ll worry about those consequences later. Instead, he rolls over and tries to push your final agonized scream from his mind so he can go back to some semblance of sleep.
Just as he begins to pass out again, he hears the curtain hanging around his small space being pushed back and the toe of a boot digs into his side. Without opening his eyes, he swats at the foot, trying to shove it away. “‘uck off, Phe,” he mumbles somewhat coherently. “‘s too early.”
“Tell that to the rest of us who have already been awake for several hours,” Phoenix snaps, driving her boot deeper into Jake’s ribs. When he tries to roll away, she sighs, “Do we really have to do this every morning? I’m not your fucking babysitter. Get up! Bob and I need your help setting up the trap while the light’s in the right position.”
There is nothing in the world that Jake wants to do more than ignore her and go back to sleep. However, she’s right. They do go through this every morning and by now he has accepted the fact that he can not win this argument. So, reluctantly, he peels open his eyes and squints up at her.
Seeing that some progress is being made, Phoenix removes her boot from his side and takes a few steps back. In doing so, she almost slips on the drink Jake had spilled the night before. Looking around his small space, she shakes her head. 
“Jesus, Hangman,” she grumbles as she kicks a few empty wine bottles out of the way, sending them clinking across the floor only to crash into piles of more. “How the hell are you still consistently finding this much alcohol? We’re barely finding enough food.”
Heaving himself up until he’s sitting on the edge of his mattress, Jake rests his head heavily in his hands as the world continues to spin around him. Still slurring slightly, he mutters, “‘s not enough. Two bottles a night aren’t helpin’ anymore. Nightmare’s back.”
“Yeah, well, we’ve all got our own nightmares that haunt us and you don’t see the rest of us pickling our livers to deal with it.” She hurls a half-empty backpack at him which smacks into the side of his head, nearly knocking over his unsteady form. “Now get your shit together and meet us out front in thirty minutes. We’ve got work to do.” She stomps out of his little alcove to give him some privacy but then pivots to add, “And for fuck’s sake, take a shower.”
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Forty-five minutes later, Jake steps out of the shower stall, a thread-bare towel wrapped low on his hips. He shivers slightly as he pads across the cold tile floor towards the sinks. The water heater broke a few months ago and with no one left in their dwindling group who knew how to fix it, freezing showers had become the norm. While they should be grateful they even had any water at all, Jake can’t help but recall a time when a hot shower was the best part of his day. 
A soft gasp leaves your lips as he presses his bare body against yours, pinning you to the cool tile wall. Your eyes sparkle in the muted light filtered through the shower curtain as you gaze hungrily at him. Warm water flows over his back as he sinks into you—
No. No memories. Not now. Not when he doesn’t have the luxury of going back to his “room” and drowning them in booze. 
Instead, Jake quickly dresses, trying his best not to catch a glimpse of himself in the mirror. Half the time—when there is still enough lingering alcohol in his system—he sees your mangled corpse standing behind his reflection. The other half, he left staring at the shell of the man he had become. In some ways, that’s worse because he knows it would break your heart to see what losing you has done to him.
Even though sanitation supplies had only really become a scarcity in the last few months, Jake had given up the will for self-grooming long before that. The tangled beard covering his sunken cheeks is a clear indication of that as is the long greasy strands of hair hanging limply in front of the dark circles surrounding his bloodshot eyes. You had always preferred him clean-shaven and with shorter hair. But you were gone so he didn’t give a fuck.
Exiting the bathroom, Jake heads toward the front of the church. He averts his eyes as he passes the bulletin board that had been converted into a memorial shrine for those they had lost. He remembers the days when there had only been a few names and pictures up there. Now, the fallen takes up every inch of the board and spills out across the wall. Jake used to use the board as his motivation to keep fighting, to not let more names be added to the list. But now that it contains so many faces of the people he cared deeply for or respected—you, Coyote, Iceman, Cyclone, Payback—it has become a constant reminder of all the ways he failed.  
Once, this rag-tag group of survivors who had dubbed themselves The Daggers had numbered in the dozens. But now, there are only a handful left. And with supplies and food dwindling quickly, there is no telling how long it’ll be before the rest of them earn a place on the board.
As he pushes his way through the church doors, Jake recoils as he is hit with the full brightness of the sunny day. His headache which had previously dulled slightly in the cold shower came rushing back with a vengeance. Groaning, he digs his sunglasses out of the backpack Phoenix had thrown him earlier and places them on his face. They were a cheap plastic pair Coyote had picked up for him on one of his runs to the pharmacy over a year ago, but they at least cut out some of the glare.
Phoenix is leaning against the fence with her arms folded across her chest, a scowl carved deep into her face. Now that most of those originally in charge were no longer with them, the title of leader had fallen on her shoulders. For the past few months, she had done everything in her power to hold the group together despite the increasingly dire conditions—and one jackass of a drunk who makes her life that much more difficult.   
Next to her, Bob scans the area just beyond the fence, his blue eyes alert behind his cracked glasses. With his unusual prescription, it’s been impossible to find a replacement after they slipped off his face running from a pack of creatures. He made it safely to the church in one piece—one of his lenses did not. Yet, he has never once complained or made excuses for his impaired vision. 
They were the best of the remaining survivors and had become the only real hope the Daggers had left. Yet they spent most of their days dragging Jake’s sorry ass around to ensure he didn’t drink himself to death.
Jake had been like them once: always stepping up when volunteers were needed, doing what he could to fix what was broken, protecting the people within their group. But he hadn’t been that person for the past two years. Not since he had watched you devoured before his eyes as he stood on these very steps.
It was that moment he tried desperately to avoid every night in his dreams. Reliving that day over and over again. Knowing all the moments he could have done something differently or acted faster that would have saved you yet being unable to change anything. Just forced to hear your agonizing final screams before catching his last glimpse of you whispering his name…
He needs to find more alcohol.
“About fucking time,” Phoenix mutters under her breath, pushing herself off the fence.
Bob shoots her a stern look, one that softens as he turns his attention to the new arrival. “Thanks for helping us out, Jake. We appreciate the extra hands.”
“Not like she gave me much of a choice,” Jake mutters under his breath. But seeing the way Bob’s shoulders slump at his words, he does his best to smile at him. “But I’m here now so let’s do this.”
Bob’s smile returns and he nods happily at the other man. As he turns to exit the churchyard, Phoenix shoots Jake another dirty look. He knows despite Bob’s insistence that she keeps dragging Jake along with them, she’s afraid Jake’ll screw up and cost her or Bob their lives. And it’s a fair concern. After all, it’s his fault Bob was almost killed the time his glasses were damaged. Jake had been drunk on patrol and hadn’t seen the creatures until it was almost too late to warn the rest of the team. While Bob never blamed him, Phoenix did. She tried to be as supportive as possible when Jake first began to spiral, but after the incident with Bob, she only tolerated his antics for the sake of her partner. Though not even she despised this version of Jake as much as Jake despised himself. 
Jake knew what a failure and a screwup he had become. Yet as much as he wished he could pull himself together and become the man he used to be, he also knew that there was only one person who could help him do that. 
But you were never coming back.
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It’s amazing how much the world can change in such a short amount of time. In the three short years since the creatures first appeared, the center of town is now virtually unrecognizable. Vines and various foliage scale the sides of all the buildings. Cars are abandoned in the middle of the street, some with their doors still open as their passengers fled from them. Every window has been dark since the power grid failed. And without the constant upkeep, everything is starting to decay.
The warehouse is no exception. Once bustling and full of life, it has now is a shadow of its former self. With very few windows save those by the entrance and no interior lights left to brighten the space, the interior becomes a black hole after walking just a few feet into it. However due to a collapse in the roof, at certain times of the day, a single shaft of light shines all the way down to the ground floor creating a small illuminated circle on the floor. 
It is in this small safe haven that Jake finds himself. Echos bounce off the walls of the cavernous space as he puts the finishing touches on the trap in front of him. Four months ago, a few survivors passing through had shared what they had discovered with The Daggers—a way to kill the creatures. Jake still doesn’t understand how it works, something to do with converting normal light into an artificial sunlight of sorts, but luckily there were those smarter than him around who understood and harnessed this knowledge into weapons. Since then, The Daggers had managed to take out a few of the creatures. However, they quickly learned that attacking the creatures in the large packs they usually hunted in resulted in costly casualties on both sides.
It was Phoenix’s brilliant idea to take the stealth approach instead of the head-on one. They began setting traps in the area using motion lights in the hopes of eliminating some of the creatures stalking near their hideout in the middle of the night when they were at their most active. So far, they have had promising results. 
Jake is almost done setting this trap. Then he can test it and use his flashlight to get himself from this shaft of light back outside. Hopefully, he’ll then have time to sneak off to try to find more alcohol before Phoenix and Bob return for him. He hasn’t checked the houses a few blocks to the east yet and maybe—
“Jake…”
Jake’s head snaps up as his heart freezes in his chest, the trap instantly forgotten. His eyes dart around the room searching for the source of the sound. But there’s no one else there. He’s alone…he’s always alone.
Yet, just as he begins to return to his job at hand, he sees something. Squinting, he peers deeper into the heart of the building and just makes out the faint outline of a single figure within the darkness.
Instincts kicking in, Jake draws his knife from his boot and drops into a defensive stance in the center of the beam of light, waiting for the attack he knows is coming. His eyes flicker around the space, searching the darkness for signs of the rest of the swarm, yet for now all he can see is the one in front of him. But he knows that can’t be it. The creatures hunt in groups, using their numbers to overwhelm and incapacitate their victims so escape is nigh on impossible. The only few loners they had come across over the years were ones that had been injured or were too malnourished to contribute to the next hunt.
But the figure standing before Jake doesn’t seem injured or blood-crazed. It stands straight and still, completely unmoving. For several moments, nothing happens. Though still cautious, Jake begins to relax his stance a little, wondering if his eyes or mind is just playing tricks on him.
But then, a voice cuts through the silence. “I was three blocks away when I caught your scent. I don’t know how, but I immediately knew it was you.”
The knife slips from Jake’s fingers, the clatter of metal on tile echoing around the cavernous room. The voice that he had not heard outside of his dreams for the past two years punches him in the chest, nearly bringing him to his knees as tears welled up in his eyes. “B-baby?”
There is a pause before the voice continues, unemotional and flat. “I should have bolted in any other direction, put as much space between us as possible but…I couldn’t. I’m selfish enough that I had to risk seeing you one last time.”
“Oh my god,” Jake breathes. “It’s really you.”
He takes a few stumbling steps towards the figure—towards you—but you draw back further into the shadows. “No! Stop! Stay in the light.” There is a panicked edge in your tone, the first sign of emotion you have let slip in, and it is enough to make Jake listen.
As much as he longs to launch himself into your arms, he reluctantly does what you ask. He lingers just shy of the darkness, the toes of his boots resting at the point where the last of the sunbeams fade on the tiles. 
“How are you here?” he asks, his voice breaking. 
“You know how.”
He did. It was a fear that had nestled in the back of his mind these past two years that he didn’t dare consider. Whether that was out of the fear of falling into despair or building up false hope, he didn’t know. But he had never let himself imagine this moment and, now that it was happening, he didn’t know what to do. 
Swallowing the lump forming in his throat, he says, “You said you caught my scent…Do I smell as sexy as you remember?”
A surprised snort of laughter echoes throughout the room as you are taken aback by his question. But when you speak, he hears tears in your voice, “Yeah, Jake. As sexy as always.”
Whatever cold, distant shell you had put in place when you first arrived crumbled and Jake can now hear the real you behind the words. Swallowing, he murmurs, “Please…let me see you.”
Your outline shifts in the darkness. “I-I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Please, baby. For the last two years, all I could see was that last memory of you. I need this.”
“No. Seeing me like this is not going to be any better than seeing me like that. I’ve changed.”
“So have I. But I love you and I’ll still love you no matter what.”
For a moment, there is only silence. Then you whisper, “Step to the other side of the light.”
Jake immediately scrambles backward, almost falling as he stumbles over the long-forgotten trap. But he makes it to the outer rim of the circle of light and waits. 
Slowly, your shape edges closer to the light. At first, Jake still can’t make out any details of the person in front of him. But when he does, his heart clenches in his chest. 
There is no denying that it is the woman he loves standing before him but yet it’s not the you he remembers. Your skin has been drained of its color and now resembles that of a corpse, cold and lifeless. Sharp, pointed teeth jut out your mouth over bloodless lips and your fingers end in claw-like talons. You are still wearing the same clothes you had on the day you were attacked but they are shredded and stiff with dried blood in various colors ranging from bright red to rusty-brown. Jake wonders how much of it is yours and how much is your victims.
Any lingering doubt he had about how you are here, any sliver of hope you had escaped your fate, is shattered instantly. This isn’t a miracle. It is a nightmare, a curse. 
But based on the gasp that escapes your trembling lips, you must be thinking the same thing as you get a good look at the man he has become. 
“Oh, Jake…” Your hands fly up to cover your mouth as your eyes continue to roam over his body. Yet even covered, he can see your jaw trembling as you cry, “Baby, what…We promised if something ever happened to the other, we wouldn’t give up. We would keep fighting.”
“I’m still here, aren’t I?” Jake snaps. But then he wilts under the weight of your gaze. Scrubbing his hand over his face, he whispers, “I almost ended it—a few times. Drugs, booze, even thought I’d take my nickname literally. Made a noose and everything. But the thing that always stopped me was that promise. So, yeah, I–I’ve been a bit of a mess since you—” he gestures at your transformed self “—and I’m sorry. I tried to be strong but losing you was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. We were supposed to face this hellscape together and I didn’t know how to cope without you so I let myself become someone that I hate. But now that you’re back—”
“I’m not back, Jake. That’s not why—” You shake your head, letting your hands drop. “I shouldn’t be here. This was a mistake and I never should have come. I should have just let you think I was dead. I-I have to go.”
“No! Please–” As Jake takes a few steps across the circle of light, you cower back, retreating further into the darkness.
“Stop!” There is a pained quiver in your voice. “I’m barely controlling myself as it is. If you get closer…I can’t hurt you, Jake. I can’t. But I know if you get any closer, I will and there’ll be nothing I can do to stop it.”
Jake shakes his head. “No. I don’t believe it. You would never hurt me.”
“You don’t get it. It’s not a choice, it’s an undeniable force. It’s hard enough to control myself when I’m fully satiated, but I haven’t fed in almost a week. Your blood—” You squeeze your eyes closed tightly. When you open them again, they have darkened significantly. There is still some color in them, not the pitch-black orbs Jake is used to seeing when the creatures were attacking, but the change still makes him inhale sharply. “The venom doesn’t just turn us into these…these things. It drives us to hunt, to kill. And that need is neverending.”
It breaks Jake’s heart to hear the pain in your voice and he can’t imagine what you’ve been dealing with the past two years. However, as much as it horrifies him, he also wants to know more. “Wh-what does it feel like?”
You turn to gaze into the darkness surrounding you. “It’s like acid in my veins, a constant burning fire in my gut that only grows stronger if it’s not satisfied. Blood’s the only thing that soothes the pain for even a few hours, but it’s never enough. I’ve tried to stop myself, I have, but each time I drink it gets hard to fight. And with every life I take, I feel a little more of myself slip away. I’m not the woman you loved anymore, Jake. I’m just a monster with her face.”
Jake shakes his head with a firm set in his jaw. “No. I don't believe that. It's still you. Why else would you have looked for me? The woman I love is still here and she needed to see me just as much as I needed to see her.”
“Jake–” 
“And I don’t care what you think.” Without hesitation, Jake crosses the remainder of his little haven of sunlight and steps forward to join you in the inky darkness. You cower back again but he takes another step to maintain the same distance between you. “You're not going to hurt me. I know that. Because you're so strong and brave and you can fight this–”
“It’s not that simple—”
“Yes, it is.”
“Jake, stop—”
“No. Not until you believe that—”
“I've killed Daggers.”
Your admission hangs like a dense fog between you. Obviously, Jake had realized what being turned into a creature meant for your feeding habits, but he had been trying not to focus on that. However, now faced with the truth, Jake suddenly connects a few horrifying dots in his head. 
He swallows before asking, “Coyote?”
Last year, he had gotten there just a moment too late. There was nothing he could do but watch as what was left of his best friend was ripped apart by a mass of creatures. But then, just for a second before Fanboy grabbed his arm and pulled him away, he caught a flash of one of the creatures and he could have sworn…
Your eyes widen, clearly not expecting him to know that, but you nod slightly. Then, in a small voice, say, “And Rooster.”
“Roo….Rooster?” The truth about Coyote had been painful, yet regardless of who killed him, Jake had come to terms with his best friend’s death months ago. But Rooster…
He had left the group a few weeks ago after hearing a rumor of someone sounding suspiciously similar to his godfather leading another group out in the desert. They all knew it was dangerous but if anyone could make it, it would have been Rooster. Yet if what you said was true…
“I never wanted you to find out.” Tears begin to stream down your cheeks, thick, black goo that leaves streaks in their wake. “I tried to stop myself but I couldn't. Coyote was already being attacked when I found him and the blood…this thing took over. And the worst part was he…he recognized me just before I tore his throat out. There was this mix of elation I was ‘alive’ and horror at what I had become. I still see it when I close my eyes. With Rooster it was different. I was alone when I found him. We’ve been starving since you found a way to destroy us and I needed blood so badly. He was dead before he even knew I was there.”
This newest revelation is the last straw for Jake. A man can only process so much trauma at once before he reaches his breaking point. Falling to his knees, he hangs his head, tears dripping off his face onto the dusty tile beneath him as his shoulders shake with stifled sobs. 
“Jake…I…” Your voice is brimming with tears as Jake sees your feet take one hesitant step closer to him. But then, you stop. 
For a moment, there is only the sound of his soft cries echoing through the empty space. However, when you finally speak again, your voice has more of the defiance and strength he loves most about you. “You don’t understand what it’s like. When I slip into a frenzy, nothing in this world exists except for blood. Faces…names…past relationships…none of it means anything at that moment. All that’s left is the pure animalistic need to feed. It’s only after I’ve been sated that I come back, that I can remember what happened or what I did. Standing over what’s left of a person, realizing I’m to blame, knowing I’ve murdered them or I’ve forced them to become a monster just like me. I couldn’t stop myself from killing Coyote and Rooster, but I made sure neither of them could turn. They may not have deserved their deaths, but more than that, they didn’t deserve this afterlife. It was the least I could do for them. And I’m sorry it wasn’t more.”
You fall silent again, but Jake just continues to cry with no acknowledgment of what you said. After a moment of this, you plead, “Jake, talk to me. Tell me what you’re thinking. If you want me to go—” 
“Please…” Jake breathes, the weight of the past two years pressing down on him. “Please let me hold you.”
“W-what?” Based on the utter shock in your voice, that is not what you were expecting him to say.
It takes everything in him, but Jake lifts his eyes so they meet yours. “Baby, I need you in my arms again. To feel you, touch you, prove this is real. I have dreamed about you every night for two years. Horrible, bloody nightmares that have destroyed my life. I need you to chase those nightmares away.”
“Jake, have you not heard a word I’ve said? I’ve killed our friends and I’ll kill you too. Or worse, I’ll turn you.”
“I want you to,” he whispers.
“Jake!” Normally when discussions became this heated between you and you resorted to that sharp tone, your chest would be heaving as you became worked up. Yet this time, your heart isn’t beating and your lungs aren’t huffing air so it remains deathly still. “I can’t do that to you. I won’t condemn you to this life.”
“Please…” Jake sobs loudly, too emotionally and mentally drained to get to his feet and walk to you. “I can’t live without you anymore. I need us to be together, whatever that looks like.”
“You don’t know what you’re asking.”
“You’ve made it pretty clear. But I’m willing to bear the pain, the…the consequences of this choice if it means I can be with you. So, please, don’t make me spend one more second without you. Either kill me or turn me, but I can’t do this anymore.”
You stare at him for a long time, your darkened eyes not giving any hint as to what you are thinking. Then, slowly, you nod. “I don’t want to kill you or turn you, but I need you too. I think…I think I always knew when I came here that this is how it would go and I’m so sorry I wasn’t strong enough to stay away.”
“I’m so glad you didn’t.” Jake opens his arms, still kneeling on the floor. “Come here, baby.”
With stilted, hesitant steps, you begin to walk towards him. You balk a little as you get closer, fighting against the instinct to avoid the sunlight, but Jake is far enough in the shadows that you can reach him without crossing into the light. Slowly, you lower yourself to your knees in front of him and reach out. 
Jake can’t wait any longer. He grabs your hand and pulls you into his chest, squeezing you as tightly as he possibly can. Your skin is icy beneath his touch, but he doesn’t care. He’s holding you in his arms again and nothing else in the world matters. 
However, you apparently don’t share the same outlook. Your entire body goes rigid beneath him, every muscle tensing as he draws you in. He can feel you begin to tremble as an animalistic growl rumbles in your chest.
“Ja—I can’t—Let me go. Don’t wanna hurt—” You manage to choke the words out through a clamped-shut jaw. As your eyes turn completely black, your teeth begin to grow longer until they resemble true fangs. Several poke through your lips as you press your mouth firmly closed. You are still trying to save him despite everything.
Squeezing you tighter, Jake mutters, “No. It’s okay, baby. I want this. Just let go.”
“I’m sorry,” you whisper, black tears falling on his chest. “I’ll be as gentle as I can.”
And you sink your fangs into his neck.
Living up to your promise, there is only a small sting as your teeth break his skin. However, in seconds, your venom enters his bloodstream and Jake tries to jerk away from the searing pain. However, your clawed hand clamps firmly on his shoulder, forcing him to remain in place. The venom spreads throughout his system until every cell in his body is screaming out in agony. He wants to black out but his body won’t let him. The change is already occurring and he is being forced to be conscious for every last second of his human life.
As you drink, small sounds begin slipping out between your lips, reverberating against Jake’s skin. Soft moans and gasps that have Jake flashing back to all those times you were beneath him as he drove you closer and closer to the edge. And for just a second, he can bear the pain knowing he is giving you some semblance of pleasure.
However as a vice of white-hot agony squeezes around his lungs and heart, Jake begins to jerk in your grasp as he begins to suffocate. Feeling his distress, you slide your teeth out of his neck and press your blood-soaked lips to the wound. Running your hand through his hair, you coo, “It’s okay, baby. It’s almost over now. I can already taste the change beginning in your blood. But this next part is the worst. Fighting it just makes it harder. Try to relax and let it happen. And I’m right here, my love, forever.” Then you sink your teeth back into his neck.
The choking suffocating feeling only intensifies, but against every self-preservation instinct in Jake’s body, he tries to listen to your advice and just gives in. Closing his eyes, he begins to slip into a sort of meditative state. While the pain or pressure doesn’t lessen, the panic and tension ease slightly. And even once he feels his heart take its last beat and his lungs go still, he tries to remain in this headspace until you are finished.
He isn’t sure how long he is kneeling there before—
“No…”
Jake picks up the soft sound as it is breathed across the empty warehouse, his ears already tuning into sounds humans shouldn’t be able to hear. His eyes flutter open and just over your shoulder, he can see Bob and Phoenix bathed in sunlight standing at the entrance to the building. Bob has tears in his eyes, his lips whispering your name in horror as he watches the growing gory mess you are making of Jake’s neck. He glances back and forth between Jake and Phoenix, silently pleading with her to find a way to fix this.
But Phoenix just stares at the pair of reunited lovers, her jaw set tightly. And Jake knows she understands. Phoenix always understands. 
Jake is weak from blood loss and pain, but he manages the slightest of nods. Lifting two fingers to her forehead, Phoenix gives Jake a small salute in return.
Then she raises her flashlight.
As the beam of light strikes your shoulder, your mouth instantly disappears from Jake’s throat with an agonized hiss as you try to flee from the pain. But using what strength he has left, Jake holds you in place. 
The betrayal on your face as you turn to look at him almost outweighs the pain. Jake knows you must think this was a trick, that he must have been stalling you all along just for this moment. Yet, he had meant every word he said.
Smiling as every cell in his body begins to burn differently from before, he whispers, “Together.” And he holds up his hand which is cracking and disintegrating in the light just like yours.
Though still pained, your face softens as you realize what he is doing. Transformation or death, those had been his choices. However, it turns out it wasn’t an “or” but an “and”.
Reaching out, you link your fingers with his, your skin flaky and fragile in his grasp. You snuggle your head against the unbitten crook of his neck, whimpering slightly as the light does its job, and you whisper back, “Together.”
Jake wraps his other arm around you and holds you close, silently vowing to never let go again.
The last thing he sees before his world slips away is the strangely beautiful swirl of particles of your two disintegrating bodies intermingling in the beam of sunlight. 
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@winterassassin1804, @seresinhangmanjake, @seitmai
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chewnotchoke · 14 hours ago
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only us who knows - leehan
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synopsis: you havent seen your boyfriend, leehan, in a while so you decided to surprise him in his fansign and he tries his best not to be obvious infront of everyone else
got inspired from this leehan vid
warnings: secret relationship, fluff, idol!leehan x non-idol!reader
wc: 781
more under the cut!
video calls and late-night messages were never quite enough. nothing could ever be as great as having your boyfriend beside you; it’s been two months since you last saw each other. your heart has been torn between the joy of his success and the loneliness of his absence over the months apart, and the pain has been constant. despite all, your love remained the same.
but tonight, you are now standing in line for their fan sign in japan. you had to fly over for a few hours just to see him again, and leehan knows nothing about it. you’re standing there like everyone else, your hands sweaty, your heart racing, even though you've touched his hand a hundred times. seeing him welcome each fan with that bright smile you know so well makes it feel unreal, like a strange combination of tension and excitement. if feels weird to be here, publicly supporting him like everyone else, even though you've been keeping your relationship with him a secret.
with each step, the line moves closer, and your heart beats more loudly. in the hopes that he won't notice you until the last minute, you keep your head down. you can already imagine his reaction: his breathless laughter, his wide-eyed shock, and his usual way of reaching for your hand, as though he finds it hard to believe you're real.
taesan was seated first, followed by sungho, jaehyun, riwoo, leehan, and then woonhak. right before it was your turn to interact with jaehyun, leehan’s eyes found yours across the room, and his face broke into the most genuine, unguarded smile, the kind he usually saves just for you. you could tell that he could not contain his excitement anymore and he started finding it hard to focus on the fan in front of him. he tried to contain it, molding his features into a more controlled smile, but you could see the sparkle in his eyes, the barely-contained excitement. leehan can’t hide it from you, not even if he tried.
and then, it’s your turn.
leehan’s face breaks into a more radiant smile, and he practically bounces in his chair. you furrow your eyebrows worriedly and your eyes try to tell him not to be so obvious. he clears his throat and says in his usual fan sign tone, “thank you for coming to see me.” but, his voice has a warmth and tenderness meant for you, and his eyes tell a different story, hinting at all the words he can’t say here. the two of you softly chuckles. he squeezes your hand, his thumb grazing your fingers in a way that, after all this time away, feels both exhilarating and natural. “i couldn’t wait any longer.” you said.
he kept squeezing your hand gently, as if to say “i’ve missed you, too.”
but he breathes, almost like a whisper, “i missed you.” and you become wary of your surroundings, worried someone must have heard him because leehan was not bothered to be worrying about anyone hearing what he just said. because to be honest, he will scream how much he misses you in front of everyone else if he could. he then slides his other hand under the table, giving your knee a reassuring squeeze.
his eyes hold yours, and then his look fell into every feature you have on your face, glistening with that comforting warmth, and you know he’s struggling to hold back. “can’t i just stand there and hug you? i don’t think holding hands is enough.”
his eyes lingered on your lips.
one thing about leehan when he’s restrained from doing something he wants, he becomes insufferable. “careful, a lot of people are watching.” you whisper, trying to remind him of where you both are. he tries to regain his composure but can’t help but lean in a little closer than necessary. he laughs softly and shakes his head, his eyes dancing with mischief. "you make it hard for me to be professional."
right when the staff asks you it’s almost time to move, leehan’s touch which was once so subtle now felt like he didn’t want to let go. the warmth in his eyes is becoming unmistakable and the fans are starting to notice. before you’re ushered to move along, he scribbles something on one of the pages in the album. even as you walk away, you feel his gaze following you and then he mouths something only you could understand and feel.
“i love you.”
after you are done with the fan sign, you flip through the pages of the album and see his writing: let’s meet at our hotel later. it’s my turn to surprise you.
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sketchnskribbles · 12 hours ago
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A03 | Rectifying Fallacies
The rhythmic clacking of keys echoed through the main room of the hidden mesa base. The noise was level. Controllable. Soothing. A familiar presence. One of the few things that this organic planet had in common with his wonderful homeworld.
It brought a sense of ease that lulled him into the calm of a mindless task. A quiet chore that brought a peace that he could hardly find at any other point within this senseless war. 
A silent alarm popped up in the bottom right corner of his screen and he gritted his denta at the reminder that the children were nearly done with their last day of school before summer break. Because that was just what they needed. Sparklings underpede. 
He shuttered his optics, stretched his digits, and continued his current job. He only had a few short earth hours before the next two months. Which would be filled with youngling fun and fancy free. An absolute boon to the war effort, he was sure. Note the sarcasm. 
He pushed away the souring thoughts. They wouldn't serve anything other than ruin his mood more than it already was. 
He'd gotten back into his groove when a Deception proximity alarm screamed through the mesa. 
A window concerning the potential danger popped up in front of his work and he nearly threw one of his tools in a fit of rage. He didn't, as he was a fully grown cybertronian and he needed those tools.
He maximized the window and narrowed his optics at the information. The signal was unknown. Meaning that it wasn't of any decepticon that they'd been in contact with since they'd moved into this mesa. Magnificent. He wished yet again that they had access to Teletraan I. But Primus-only-knew where the Ark was in this blasted universe.
The bot sighed and notified his team of the disturbance. He got four acknowledgements and ETAs. The heavy pedefalls of his oldest and closest friend coming near brought down some of his frustrated anger. He breathed in a deep breath and closed out of all his open programs. Leaving only the map showing the signal.
Moving away from his monitors, he turned around to greet his Prime. "Optimus."
"Ratchet." The deep baritone welcomed back. The Prime settled his hand on his shoulder plating and giving it a comforting squeeze, as he walked past. He peered at the screens to oversee the tripped alarm and hummed in consideration. That familiar gleam of the infamous strategist brightened up his gaze. "It is of unknown origin."
"Indeed. A new menace to grapple with." The older bot rolled his eyes.
"Or… perhaps a weary soul in need of better allies?" The Prime retorted back with his usual bout of hope.
"As if any Con would understand the meaning of the word." The medic huffed. "You expect too much out of thieves, societal rejects, and ex-convicts."
For a moment, the taller bot looked surprised. Then pained. Ratchet felt a lurch at his spark when he actually took the time to analyze his words. 
He blinked and pinched the bridge of his olfactory sensor. There he went, shoving his pede into his derma. Again. "I… I'm sorry Optimus. That came out wrong."
"But full of truth." His leader gently chided. That look of disappointment never faltered. Ratchet sighed and looked away.
"I am sorry. You know of my past and how I was raised… but that is no excuse." Ratchet felt the familiar weight of his friend's servo land back on his shoulder. A comforting weight. Forgiving. The old bot looked back over to the younger mech. They smiled.
Optimus looked back up to the signal and then teasingly back down to the medic. "What do you say we scout out the signal together? It's rather close to being time for our charges to be picked up by their guardians."
"I'd say we're asking for trouble."
"Hmm, that doesn't sound like a no to me." Optimus had already inserted the coordinates into the ground bridge, powering it up. 
Ratchet felt the tell tale of a ping reverberate through him. One that he was sure was felt by the rest of the team. It notified the rest of their orders from the Prime, to retrieve their humans and to join them at base on standby at the soonest opportunity.
There were more pings that flew in soon after. Full of complaints and acknowledgments. They were happily ignored as the two walked through the gate. 
It led into a road through a forest of trees. 
From the position specified on their internal maps, they were about a couple hours away from the heavily populated city of Los Angeles.
It was honestly not too far away from their own home base in Nevada. Less than a day, even. Which was much too close for comfort in Ratchet's opinion. 
He followed Optimus through the trees. Their optics to the skies as they scanned for the source of the signature. It didn't take very long to find the jet. 
They heard the engine long before they caught sight of it. A worryingly familiar palette of purple and black made it ever obvious just who it was, despite the unfamiliar altmode.
" Skywarp." Ratchet growled, his optics narrowing at the jet above. 
He slipped a servo into his subspace and brought out a tiny gadget given to him by Wheeljack. The wrecker had created it on a whim and given it to the medic proclaiming that it needed to be "field-tested" by the team. 
He hadn't yet brought it up with Optimus. A fact that was backed up when the Prime looked down at the medic's arm cannon in confusion while Ratchet inserted the device within a small port that seamlessly opened up.
"...What is that, old friend?" Optimus looked back up to meet Ratchet's optics, wariness pooling in his own. The medic didn't hold the same concerns.
"Jackie said he needed this field-tested. So here it is!" His answer didn't seem to be to his leader's satisfaction.
"Ratchet… let's not be too hasty." A servo found its way over top of his weapon. With enough pressure to imply that he needed to put it down, rather than forcing him to do so. The medic rolled his optics.
"If all goes well, it'll merely incapacitate him. Not kill him. Wheeljack knows of how you operate and wouldn't dare to go outside of those bounds." Ratchet looked over to his old friend, the corners of his lips curling downward the slightest bit. "For all my misgivings with him, I know he respects you too much to do something like that."
With that said, the old medic took aim. An optic closed as he aligned the sights with the plane overhead. He took the shot.
The old bot turned around to smile with pride at his leader, as the plane stalled in the distance. Blue arches of electricity danced along Skywarp’s frame as he was forced down to the ground by gravity.
“I'm quite surprised you actually agreed to test it, old friend.” Optimus sighed and shook his head when the ground shook and a few of the trees ahead cracked and fell. 
“Oh, no. I've run test after test on my terminal on this thing. Also checked the power output and many other things.” Ratchet nullified with a shrug. “I kind of liked the idea of temporarily incapacitating a foe. Just too bad that some of the materials to obtain it are either expensive or hard to obtain.”
“Is that so?” Optimus began his trek forward toward the decepticon. His medic, right on his heels.
A03 | Rectifying Fallacies
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rockermybuddie · 1 day ago
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I’ll Never Leave You
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Eddie x Buck
Summary: Eddie and Buck have a deep conversation on Eddies couch after Buck came over after his break up with Tommy.
Warnings: not proof read, unsure of what im even writing.
A/n: Im still not over Bucktommy break up. Blah blah blah yeah yeah yeah they only brought Tommy back for one reason.
Im still sad ok.
In my head this is what i need to see in the next episode. What i imagine is happening.
In no way am i trying to make Tommy the bad guy in this. If you have seen any of my other posts since Epi 6, you know i love Tommy and im a multi shipper.
——————
“Tommy broke up with me.” Buck muttered. Its the first thing either of them said since they sat in the couch, the case of beer almost empty.
Eddie paused and made his known face he makes when Buck tells him he broke up with is current partner.
He turns his head and sees how hurt Buck is. Of course breaking up with someone is hard but Tommy was good for Buck so even Eddie is feeling sad for Buck.
“I’m sorry Buck.” Eddie rubs Bucks shoulder reassuringly as he finishes off his beer.
The two sat there in silence again as Eddie doesn’t want to push Buck to talk and Buck is wondering why no one stays in his life.
“We both dated Abby.”
“Really?” Eddie furrows his brows as he proceeds to think of what Buck just said.
“Yep. Tommy and Abby were engaged. And after that i was the himbo.”
“Himbo?” Eddie snorted but quickly cleared his throat when he saw the look Buck was giving him.
“Sorry.”
Eddie got up and grabbed another six pack from the fridge bringing it into the living room handle Buck another beer.
“I asked him to move in with me.”
“You did?” Eddie thinks of how long him and Tommy have been together but then again he cant say anything. He asked Marisol to move in with him.
“Then he said that ‘I’ would end up breaking his heart because he knows how this ends.”
Buck leaned his head back against the couch as he finished off another beer.
“I thought he was the one. He said that he was my first not my last. But they can be they same thing, thats what i told him. He didnt believe me. Do you believe me?” Buck looks over at Eddie who is fingering his beer bottle.
“Y-yeah, sure….they can be the same thing.” Eddie mumbles out. The beer is starting to get to him.
Buck puffs out his cheeks as he looks down at the floor. He notices Eddie is still just in his underwear and a button down with the collar flipped up. But he doesn’t say anything about it.
“Everyone always leaves me.” Buck says after minutes of silence. A tear falls down his cheek but he wipes it away.
“Maddie has left me multiple times, my parents clearly didnt want me in the first place. Bobby left. The damn lawsuit. And everytime i ask someone to move in with me, they leave.” Buck named off everyone whos ever left him making him realize that maybe hes the problem.
“Buck we are all way past the lawsuit.” Eddie reminds him. “Bobby came back to the 118. Maddie and Chimney are here and Hen is here.”
“I know. I just wish people who claim they love me would stay.” Buck says
“We all love you Buck.”
“Not like that.”
Eddie turns his head and looks at Buck, the conversation at the coffee shop with Father Brian.
“You’ll always have me Buck.” Eddie tells him, he feels his heart beat start to race and he starts to feel sweat droplets around his forehead.
Buck turned his head looking at Eddie and repeated what Eddie had just said in his head trying to put it in place with the conversation.
“What do you mean by that?” Buck asks
“I- i um… I’m your best friend.”
“Yeah?” Buck can clearly tell something is going on with Eddie, and its not how drunk he is something was going on before he got there.
“I lied to you.” Eddie says, he sees the hurt fill Bucks face even more and it makes him feel even worse.
“About what?” Buck asks him. “Being my best friend?”
“No. About me. Who i am.” He sees the pain he caused turn into confusion on Bucks face.
“I went and talked to Father Brian and he said that I’m punishing myself of ‘joy’ told me to find a way to express myself.” Eddie explains
“Is that why you shaved?” Buck asks
“Part of it.”
“The other part is because i was hiding from myself.” Eddie confessed. He found it easy to talk to Buck, he didnt feel pressure or judged.
“Are you done hiding from yourself?” Buck asks. He knows Eddie feels like a failed parent since Chris is in Texas with his parents.
He knows Eddie hasnt been himself since and he hasn’t wanted to push him about it.
“Im not sure.” Eddie says “theres something else.”
Buck reaches for another beer, as he leans back onto the couch hes a bit closer to Eddie. Their arms brush against each other as Buck takes a swig of the beer. Waiting for someone to say another word.
“Find joy” Eddie mumbles
“Hmm?” Buck looks over at Eddie.
“Joy.” Eddie places a hand on Bucks cheek as he looks into Bucks blue eyes.
“Eddie.” Buck says, the hand on his cheek feeling like a hot mold leaving a scar on his face.
This had to be the beer because why is Eddie staring into his sould wetting his lips with his tongue.
“Kiss me.” Eddie whispers
“W-what?”
“Kiss me.” He repeats
At first Buck thought he was joking there was no way Eddie wanted him to kiss him. Eddie was straight to his knowledge.
“A-are you sure?” Buck asks as he notices the tent in Eddies underwear. Its pretty easy to see since hes not wearing any pants.
“Yes.”
Eddie asking Buck to kiss him sobered him up but as soon as Buck leaned down and placed his lips on Eddies he was drunk again.
Eddies lips were warm and soft against his.
Eddie adjusted himself on the couch so Buck was above him between his legs.
Bucks tongue worked its way ino Eddies mouth as Eddies fingers slipped under his shirt.
The two were shirtless chest to chest as they made out.
“Is this what joy feels like?” Eddie asks
“Yes.” Buck quickly answered.
-
As Buck laid on Eddies bare chest listening to his heart beat all these thought were rushing through his mind.
His boyfriend just broke up with him, he came to his best friend’s house to drink a beer and to not be a lone only to have ended up making out with his best friend.
That was a very Buck 1.0 move.
He just made out with his best friend who hasnt came out to himself.
What if it was all the beer?
What if this isnt what Eddie really wants?
Buck cant go back like nothing happened.
———-
A/n: I’ll probably write another story once we know what happens next episode.
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stargodau · 2 days ago
Text
Chapter 1 Proposition
         Bill stared at the ceiling feeling utterly empty. His afterlife now consisted of nothing but pain and misery, tests, needles, medications, and physical abuse. The Theraprism a place of ‘healing’ and ‘redemption’ did nothing but break him apart, slowly. The crack across his body had expanded to both sides now, breaking him into five pieces. He lay on his cell floor staring at the incandescent light overhead. It burned his eye but he didn’t mind much, pain was the only real thing he had felt in a while.
          A click. The door opened to show one of those nasty therapists standing there. This particular therapist reminded him of someone who had far too many eyes. They took on a sort of sky blue color with darker blue frills. 
       “Patient #323322 the great Axolotl has requested your presence. Do not make it wait any longer than necessary.” The therapist’s shrill voice and calm tone, made him wish they had given him medication to deafen him along instead of just subduing him.
          “Wouldn’t dream of it.” He groaned getting up off the floor. Cuffs were of course immediately fastened around his wrists and two guards accompanied them as they walked through the halls to Axy’s office.
          “Do not disappoint the Axolotl.” Was all that was said to Bill before he was shoved inside the office to face the lizard on his own. The Ax’s office was cluttered, papers stranded on its desk and around the floor. Books were stacked against the walls stretching up to the ceiling. Each book, Cipher knew, contained the knowledge of countless dimensions, crammed in using magic.
          “Have a seat Bill.” Rumbled the Axolotl in its low, cheerful voice. Bill obliged. The Axolotl itself looked quite haggard for it being an all knowing benevolent god. There were slight creases under its star filled eyes, though those too had lost some sparkle to them.
          Bill considered before starting conversation. “What’s the word frills? Finally taking me outta this dump or do I need an extended stay?” He really hoped he was being released, he didn’t know how much more of this he could take.
          The Axolotl cocked its head at him, the responded, “ We are here to discuss your inability to accept the Theraprism’s help. You know your therapists only wants best for you, though no matter how much they try you seem to stay the same.” Bill stared ahead at the amphibian, confused. What help? The therapists had never even extended an olive branch.
          It continued, “You seem to in fact, gotten worse as we can see from these cracks here.” A hand was extended towards Bill’s left side where the cracks had grown onto.
          Instead of groveling or apologizing like the Ax probably hoped he would Bill became glowing red with anger. “Getting worse? GETTING WORSE? All I have been trying to do is get better while here but those ‘therapists’ insist I’m not doing enough, and do you know what happens? DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS? I get shoved into a void for ‘wellness’ and to think about how I can ‘change’ and ‘be better’. I’m a lost cause already but the only person who can’t seem to figure that out is you! Perhaps using these dimensions worth of knowledge you can get a brain!” He didn’t have any powers but oh boy did yelling without immediately getting beaten feel good.
          Once again the Axolotl didn’t react harshly, just sighing before it spoke. “Bill I know you are suffering that’s why I came here. The Theraprism won’t teach you anything, it’s not  what’s right for you. I just came here to tell you that I’m coming up with a solution. Please be good for a few days and I will contact you to let you know the new arrangement.” It smiled at him, prompting him to answer.
          “Well, how could I say no to that Axy? I accept your deal with open arms! What’s the catch though, I know you aren’t stupid enough to give this to me for free.” Bill narrowed his eye at the amphibian, something was up and he was going to find out what it was. The Axolotl was staring at him with a strange look he couldn’t quite decipher.
          “I will contact you once I figure out the exact details of this new deal Bill. Be good and may you have star filled days.” And with that the Axolotl disappeared from sight. The guards grabbed him before leading him back to his cell to wait in agony until the Ax contacted him. Waiting, with no hope at all.
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