#look at me doing the real artist thing and having hidden meanings in my work 😭

[n7punk]

"Hotel Couches & Other Hail Marys" Fic Notes

These aren't the traditional format but I have enough Hidden Little Things I wanna do very loose an informal fics notes

The "Hotel Couch" was Catra's Hail Mary, but the shared bed was Catradora's, and Catradora's reunion was the fans' Hail Mary.

The way I do tweets was invented back in DITM and "perfected" in SaD, when I also invented how I do Instagram posts/stories/reels/DMs. I wasn’t reinventing shit for the changes Twitter has made, it’s ~historically accurate~ to when Dashcon happened. The one change I made was not using the block quote indent for all the digital posts I usually do, but that entire fic was digital, so I only ended up using it for indented reply chains on Twitter (which worked out better tbh) and on the Instagram chapter to distinguish the posts and the descriptions of the images/videos.

Fake tumblr posts/alternate reality dashboard simulators are already a popular format on Tumblr so there really was very little for me to do there. I made some tweaks by adding in the comment/share/like icons I use for Twitter, but overall that part was easy. The hardest part was getting the follow button blue. On Tumblr that's easy, colored text is a built-in option, but for AO3 I had to use a work skin to include some CSS for the color code. I ended up modifying the Reddit skin I had made using this tutorial because I was planning to capstone with a Reddit post anyway so I could just add on the blue on. Normally I don’t consider using colored text for many reasons (hard to read, might look great on my site skin and be invisible on others, etc), but in the case of the follow buttons they could just as easily not be there and contribute nothing but realism, so I wanted to have them in their standard blue.

Normally I don’t even consider using Tumblr when doing social media posts in a fic but considering this was inspired by Dashcon which was literally a Tumblr convention, I had to for this one. As such, the first chapter is mostly set-dressing for the disaster the convention is itself so when people complain in future chapters it makes sense. The rough outline was: Tumblr (convention background) Twitter (reconnect and beef background) Instagram (bond) DMs/texts (get together) Reddit (retrospective epilogue wrapping up the story)

Most of the usernames are just like. Random shit I could come up with. The ones on Tumblr are supposed to be random stuff on the site and the ones on Twitter lean more towards fandom-associated stuff for the She-ra fandom since it’s transitioning from the pool of All Con Attendees to the microcosm of their fans affected. Most of these can be found in previous fics such as DITM. That said, here are the name(s) with inspo behind them:

🍕nnlftbf: none pizza left beef. And no vowels. I have always desperately wanted to eat the none pizza

🦉pewpew4gloria: Star Siblings fan (reference to Starla’s bird)

🐍nagashed: this is a reference to both the plethora of (human animal hybrid)(bodypart) tumblr usernames (ex: dragongirlsnort) and a manga that my friend is reading.

🎃pumpkakitty: reference to a really cute hat in Pokemon Go 🥺 (okay it’s supposed to be a pikachu but it looks like a kitty tbh)

🌈edgeofgloria: another Star Siblings fan

He-Ro in the Freak Zone @frightzest: He-Ro is an actual MOTU character, frightzest is from DITM

Aside: the “looki loo” thing is a reference to Razz’s good ol pal Looki, hence the fandom in-joke

praying mantis wife @nineten02: nineten is a reference to my Stardew Valley chickens <3

Katastrophe @viviviolence: Vi’s shoulders you mean so much to me

Oh yeah Zeni is Zine just. Flipped. Also the original She-ra artist was one of the two sponsors who pulled out and the entire reason they were there. I mean what?

When Adora called Catra aggravating on camera she was doing it in a horny way but with Real Beef between them it didn’t come across that way. She also said they wouldn’t work together as a factual thing rather than spiteful. There was no way the studio OR Catra would let them.

When Catra said she’s “finally suing” she’s referring to the long-standing rumor that the previous showrunner “stepped back” because Catra was threatening to sue for the wage/credit theft, or the discrimination, or the abusive work environment, or the-

The dates Adora reached out to Catra via DMs were all significant ones for the real series — season 1 debut for when they were nominated, prompting the thank you story, season 2 debut for when they won the award (I didn’t look up and don’t care when the actual GLAADs are lol), and season 3 debut when ZeniCon is actually taking place. Almost three years have passed since Catra’s ousting from the show back between seasons 3 and 4, tho.

Given the NDA and general threat-level from the studio, Adora didn’t think she could mention Catra on her main page without getting a talking to even with Weaver officially departed, so she tried to do it on her story, but Catra did NOT want the heat that could bring.

The foam She-ra crown from the Instagram reel is the same one they gave out at cons in 2018 and 2019.

Adora calling it the “season 5” rather than “season 4” wrap part led to fan speculation that season 5 really was written by Catra except for the weakest parts — some stuff needing to be condensed, the insertion of a new storyline — which like. Well they are right. But she said season 5 rather 4 (which was wholly Catra’s) because it’s the part she’s most proud of even after they took it from her. It’s what she was building to the whole time.

Catra and Adora lasted like ten minutes lying next to each other in bed before they ended up kissing and when it started progressing they snuck into the bathroom. It was obvious Bow was asleep and they were just hoping Glimmer was too. Glimmer, too, wishes she was asleep.

Glimmer refers to Catra being “at her worst” because she got really aggressive and disparaging of her old cast out of bitterness after they wouldn’t back her up in the press (to keep their jobs). They all understand why, but it is still frustrating.

Melendy is from my fic lore, she’s a magicat character I use sometimes who is named after Catra’s VA in the 80s. She plays a recurring character on the show, though on the minor side.

I linked the Ohio con video because 1) that video is the ONLY time I’ve heard of it and I love the drama 2) to hammer home all the shit I say in this isn’t just from Dashcon, I am not here to libel people and 3) because I like my secret little links, BUT if you want to see a good video on Dashcon, watch this one and literally never watch Internet Historian he’s a POS: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAqy-KDJAUM

The behind the scenes shitshow for She-Ra itself was inspired by the TV show Lost (though Catra keeping her storylines secret was inspired by Real She-ra and ND Stevenson)

Like I said, I had been wanting to do a fic that was “just digital” for a while. The massive problem with that is getting across the shit people don’t post online because there is not a single trace of Catra and Adora potentially being a couple until after ZeniCon. Catra and Adora were basically wildly attracted to each other from the moment they met on the show but wouldn’t cross that barrier because they worked together (especially because of where they worked together). They ended up hooking up during some high-stress times for the show just to deal with how much they wanted each other. Catra felt really betrayed when the cast wouldn’t stick their necks out for her when she was ousted. Privately they were all on her side and told the studio so, but to publicly side with her was to lose their jobs, and the show was their entire life. They ultimately picked their passion & livelihood over showing public support they didn’t think would make a difference anyway and she cut all ties with them. They did what they felt they could, which was mostly never denying her version of events and deflecting questions when they had no other choice, but they all felt bad about it and tried to reach out to her privately. She didn’t want to hear it, but fans were right that the real beef was with the studio. She fell back into their arms eventually because she could see they were doing what they could while keeping their jobs, and she knew just how much being unemployed sucked. Adora was also telling the truth when she said they were fighting for her version of the story by staying on the show and no matter how much Catra calls it theft, that is what she wants for her characters. Being forced into the same room let them all remember what it was like to be friends, and that’s what led them to eventually giving their apologies.

I have no idea why, when presented with “lol dashcon au” my brain goes “rampant wage theft, behind the scenes abuse, disgrace and scandal, show extension hell a la supernatural, brrrrrrrrrr” but there we go

[tsunami-of-tears]

Elucien Week - Day Six: Fearless

This love is difficult, but it's real / Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess

✧ Please do not repost or use with AI ✧

Artist's Note: Yes, this is quite a literal interpretation of the prompt, BUT I'd already assigned this era to Lucien for my ACOTAR x Eras Art Series so it was perfect! Thanks again to @elucienweekofficial for the creative prompts and all the effort for this week! The scenery and styling are loosely inspired by the Love Story music video rather than the Eras tour like the other pieces. To bring this back to our ship, here are my versions of the album covers, with Elain as 'Speak Now'. I didn't realise they both held flowers until I looked at the two together, another happy accident!

The flower Lucien is holding is supposed to be a pink camellia (questionable yes but it's not the focus!). The camellia represents love, affection and admiration, but when it's pink it means longing. Elain is holding a tulip which represents rebirth and new beginnings.

[imagionationstation]

Do you think (in '12) Raph painted the undersides of their skateboards?

I was gonna headcanon a “you betcha!” but my brain would not shut up so we get some real canon analysis and investigation.

Nothing is ever simple with me. Sorry y’all-

First I wanna look at his room:

And this poster that looks drawn:

All the other posters have a fakeness to them. Backgrounds, shading, color schemes- everything you would expect to have from a movie poster. A general vibe behind the kinds of movies that he likes- but not this one?

My assumption? A drawing. Self made poster.

Proof that this teen draws and paints? Possibly. Likely.

Next I wanna look at the skateboards:

Good use of stickers. Very used- probably several years attached.

Mikey’s pops, Donnie’s techy, Raph’s skull, and Leo’s…

(If Leo’s isn’t a TMNT Easter egg I should probably give up turtles because that’s 100% what it is don’t quote me in that)

Leo’s looks like some kind of comic strip. Probably from a comic about mutants saving humans. Kid has always like his heroes.

👏 So the skateboards are specifically decorated to match each turtle. Which is a sus coincidence to simply fish out of a dumpster.

So it would stand to reason that someone painted each board intending it for them. The paint is chipping and stickers are scratched up, so this painting had to have happened quite a few rides ago (depending on the turtle, since Donnie’s board looks cleaner than the others which could mean they don’t always go out to skate the sewers all together.)

Could the turtles have done their own boards?

Well, Mikey sure didn’t. He’s nowhere near that skill level yet.

Could Donnie?

He’s definitely got the drawing skills…

But he seems to prefer to leave those for blueprints. He really isn’t much of a painter, I think. When they first get the Shellraiser, Donnie has it hidden away while he works on it. When he introduced his brother to it, it has the same graffiti that it had when they first got the vehicle from Leatherhead + teeth & red mask.

When Donnie does paint things, he seems to do the bare minimum. Turn that metal pieces yellow or that mental piece green. He’s not to focused on decorations.

I don’t really know if Leo does much artistically.

He does paint a pretty good 2-

But there’s also marks made outside of the lines, of which there are none of on those skateboards. And I really don’t think this cuts him out to paint intricately with a small brush.

So if none of them are able, that leaves the most well known painter.

Mr. Venus designer himself:

Venus looks so clean. This turtle has clearly been playing with paints for a while. When I contrasted Venus with the humans on the skateboard, I do think I see similaries with how the people are drawn- scrawny, loopy words, solid color background.

Venus is as clear as Mikey’s gorilla and Donnie’s (motherboard?)

And lastly I wanna contrast the poster and Raph’s board.

Something about the textures/lines taste similar to me.

BUT

I’m no artist. Just a writer. Grain of salt and whatnot.

To summarize: I’ve never thought about it before, but…

Yes! Yes, I absolutely do! ✨✨

[thelunarsystemwrites]

Lunar's mental health. An update.

TW: bad mental health, EDs, depression, s/h, personal stuff, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, vent, self hate, heavy topics.

Sorry I haven't been posting!!

An update on me.

...Hi, you might know me as Lunar, or, TheLunarSystemWrites! I'm just an artist on here, trying to do things I like.... right?

Well, unfortunately, real life doesn't really... care. It doesn't care if I have friends to talk to, art to make, things I like to do.

I've been exhausted, physically and mentally. I've been busy working a lot in our home. (Painting, building, packing, inside work, cooking, etc) and it's always stressful... we're starting to get a little tight on money.

I've spent majority of my time in my bed. I don't wanna face my family members, so I've hidden away. It's hard to get up every day, and try to find the will to take care of myself.

I also recently relapsed with Bulimia, a disorder that, essentially means I throw up whatever I eat. I've been purging since September 16th, 2022. But I had awhile where I only purged once a day or none, but I'm back at it with full force. So my body doesn't have any energy left. I've also now lost my periods do to it.

I don't sleep well. It's much easier to stay up all night than waste my only free time sleeping. So I have no energy from sleeping well unless I sleep a whole day away, which makes me groggy.

Self harm is also something bothering me too, I'm too tired to do it and yet I keep doing it. Wasting precious spoons on it, I literally can't be clean for a whole year this year, that dream is dead. But, I am a few days clean as I type!

Suicidal and intrusive thoughts have been.... pesky. But I can't just leave my friends, plus I have prizes to make.

But, I'm unmotivated. I can't seem to write or draw anything. All my art is looking... regressed, to me. Everything is repetitive.

I've hated myself now more than ever in my life, I'm in a pretty bad place and I hate how self aware I am.

SPEAKING of regression! I have like, regression block. My brain isn't working with me, isn't regressing unless Involuntary. So my main coping mechanism is.... out of order.

I've been angry at the world, really pissy and moody. Tired, hungry, sad, then happy but not much. Numbness is a huge factor, I'm feeling depressed.

Not to mention, there's drama everywhere I look. This creator gets bullied, that one turns out to be disgusting. People get doxxed over opinions... it's constantly anxiety that I'll be wrongly accused, ridiculed, or abandoned. It's terrifying that people will go at each other's throats. It's exhausting to deal with it and be dragged into drama with problematic people.

Every day has been the same for me for the past 3 years. I'm tired, bored, understimulation controls me.

My friends are my lifeline right now.

I feel uncomfortable in my own body all the time, unsatisfied with my art, everything is essentially falling apart in my life.

Depression, anxiety... not a good mix to wake up disoriented and anxious, then gave zero spoons throughout the day. I'm not in a good home situation right now.

So... I kinda just... haven't been posting, role-playing, answering DMs, answering asks, etc...

I'm burnt out.

I feel like I'm a walking corpse.

Useless even.

I don't feel like myself anymore, I barely have the energy to talk to friends, every little bad things sets me back. I just can't bring myself to really engage much anymore.

So... sorry. I'm sorry, if I wasted your time. Or if this isn't like what you wanted to hear. I'm just not okay anymore, April was the last good month I had this year. APRIL.

I just wanted to update you all, there's a lot of other stuff I didn't share because it's nit important. I swear I'll get to the prizes eventually, I just ain't up to it right now. Might not be for awhile, apologies in advance!!

Hope you guys can understand, I might or might not be back to doing art, who knows. But I'll definitely get things done before that if I ever stopped. It just doesn't bring me joy, I used to hope I'd make an AU people cares about, and I've barely achieved that ^^"

Hope you're all well!! Stay safe, take care!! Remember to hydrate and to try eating if you can, you're spectacular!!!

Daily clicks!! ^^

Previous pinned post.

[stephaniebrownslover]

HIII! :D

I've read your Jeff and Liu's relationship hcs and I REALLY LOVED IT OMG

Soo can you please write a fluff oneshot about 'em?

(AND I THINK YOU'RE WORKING ON FOR TICCIWORK RELATIONSHIP PART 2 SO I'M SORRY IF I MADE YOU BUSSY THIS REQUEST CAN BE WAITED IF YOU WANT TO-)

I know I talked too much but thank you so much from now <333

HIIIIIIII!!!!!

I'm still surprised that people other than mt friends are reading and even liking my writing lol that means a lot really!!

And of course I can write about them since you asked! I love their bro-ship and it's cute and we deserve more Woods Family Fluff.

I'll write for Main AU, again, but this won't be lore related because everything important with them after the incident includes angst or other creeps but I want to write a dumb cute thing for you. Hope you don't mind, but if you do, please ask again for something lore-related like ticciwork oneshot.

NO NO I'M WORKING ON IT BUT I ALREADY MADE PART 1 FOR THAT FRIEND AND DON'T EVER WORRY ABOUT TALKING TOO MUCH OR MAKING ME BUSSY OMG NEVER PLEASE

Thank you so much for your ask and hope you like it too!!!

(I kinda wanted to write them stealing a tank lol)

(Also so sorry for late reply, my brain is so foggy lately which prevents me from writing)

Main AU Jeff and Liu Oneshot

Date: 2014

While Jeff was excitedly waving the board game box he was holding and trying to show it to Liu, Liu had his head buried well into the book in his hand, although his focus had not shifted. No, he might have loved his brother, but he definitely wasn't going to play monopoly with him.

"C'mon, L!"

"My name is not L. It's Liu."

That was the last straw. He knew that one Because Jeff was watching an anime called "Death Note" on the influence of his friends and Jeff had tried to make him watch it too. Liu would rather watch artistic films or something with real depth.

"Whatever, bet you're afraid of losin'."

"If it makes you feel better, then sure thing."

Liu wanted to continue reading his book, while Jeff senselessly waved one hand in the air. It could be read in his eyes that he had an unnecessary desire to challenge.

"Your loss, we all know I'm better at math."

"You did not."

"Oh yes, I did."

"Oh so you want to play a game, huh? Let's play a game."

Liu suddenly looked up from his book, he closed the object he was holding in one hand hard. It was hardly possible to say that he enjoyed being challenged.

Having a brother like Jeff who loved a challenge was a big problem for him.

Jeff looked in amazement at his brother, who had risen from the coach and was walking towards him with rapid steps. His green eyes were ablaze with an emotion that was not easy to understand.

"You in?"

Liu sarcastically crossed his arms, the menacing smile on his lips was enough to scare anyone, anyone except Jeff.

"Oh, how in that you would be surprised."

"Okay, so we're gonna play Monopoly, I know you like dumb nerd games, and I can rule kingdoms."

Jeff definitely didn't know how to play Monopoly. It was an even bigger problem that he talked more nonsense as if it was possible to do more, but it was Jeff.

Actually, Jeff didn't know how to play any board games. Of course, he knew, but either he didn't remember, or he was hitting the sense spot until the person he was playing with became really pissed.

"That's not- you know what? Just use the calculator on your phone."

"Which one?"

Jeff's rather confident disclosure of his secret caused Liu to pause in surprise once again.

What kind of idiot would disclose the application in which he kept secret photos and things that should remain hidden?

"... The one with numbers, not secret things of yours. God, I can't believe that I had to use this sentence."

"Why the fuck I need a calculator?"

Jeff's eyebrows were furrowed with anger. If it wasn't for Liu, he would have already responded with insults or attacked the person in front of him.

He might have been stupid, but he wasn't that stupid.

"Can you sum up high numbers?"

Or he could.

"... Fuckin' fine."

As Liu passed towards the table in the living room, Jeff followed him with a defeated attitude. While he pulled the chair out fairly and sat down, the fact that Jeff almost fell created a thin smile on Liu's face. It wasn't such a big deal.

He just liked that even after years later, he knew his brother next to him felt as comfortable as possible.

However, their feelings were not very mutual, because Jeff was a bomb ready to explode at any moment.

"You know how to play this, right?"

After Jeff sat down in the chair with a grunt, he shouted at Liu's question.

" 'course I do!"

Liu took the box from Jeff's hand and gently slapped on his hand when Jeff tried to reach out.

That's how Jeff realized that Liu was going to want something from himself first. Waiting for what he wanted, he responded only with a grunt.

Stupid nerd.

"Explain how we start the game."

He raised the index finger of his right hand in the air as he spoke confidently. With his other hand, he also pressed on top of it for emphasis.

"First, ya' choose a pawn to make your slave."

"Eh, kinda true. Go on."

Jeff raised his second finger and stepped on it, too.

"Then you roll the dice to occupy areas."

Well, that was where the mistake started.

But Liu didn't need to be so distrustful. Maybe his brother could surprise him, today could have been that day.

So he calmly made the explanation.

"No, you don't occupy the areas, you just pass them as you move just as the dice says."

"Told the same."

Jeff, on the other hand, breathed with an exasperated attitude.

"It's not the- okay, carry on. What happens when you stop on a point?"

"Easy."

The fact that he paused after saying this, didn't even deign to say anything, made Liu think that he was just bluffing.

And he probably was.

"Then explain."

"Um, you buy them?"

Liu raised one eyebrow in the air.

"To?"

"To... to throw them to the enemy!"

Taking advantage of Liu's confused moment, he pulled out the box and took out several household figures, which he threw at Liu. Although there was nothing to hurt, it was annoying.

"No, Jeff, stop."

Jeff was waiting for his brother to laugh like himself. Or to have an amused reaction. Or to be serious.

Anything, but not him getting off the table.

"I don't know why I trusted you with this. Clearly, it was a mistake."

While he was sitting at the table himself, he was almost begging for Liu to continue to stay as well.

"I was joking, I know Monopoly rules. Just don't go!"

"One last chance."

Liu took a deep breath and sat down at the table again. He really didn't know how long he could tolerate his brother's childish behavior, and he wasn't willing to find out.

There was silence between them for a while. It could not be said that it was a peaceful silence, although it was not uncomfortable either. This silence was more like the silence that occurs before something important.

Just when Liu was about to speak because he was starting to get uncomfortable with it, Jeff spoke by looking at his hands. And the whole time he was talking, he never lifted his head from the table.

"I was actually going to say that we can play Scrabble. I know you don't like this game and you can get bored or something and you shouldn't blah blah, somethin' somethin'."

Liu felt bad for a moment after hearing this.

It was obvious that his brother wanted to spend time with him. He was also aware that he had been neglecting him a little bit too much lately, but it wasn't his fault. He was just too busy and didn't have enough energy to deal with anyone. He definitely couldn't tolerate a hyperactive person like Jeff after a tiring day.

However, these were not an excuse.

He should have been a better brother.

"Okay, we can play both."

After Jeff heard this, he suddenly raised his head, quickly waved his hands in a way that meant no.

"No, no, you don't have enough time and-"

"I can always spare some time for my brother."

Jeff was relieved to hear this. After releasing his shoulders, he smiled. This was not a fake or sarcastic smile as usual, it was a real smile.

"Yeah. Me too."

Jeff and Liu were two brothers who cared about each other.

And nothing or no one could come between them.

It's awful lol sorry for that

[roo-bastmoon]

Juxtapositions, and focus

"How can you think Jikook are still real when they just hugged like they haven't seen each other in months??"

Whelp, my adorable little Vulcan, I'll tell you. Human beings have this thing called "humor" and they often tease each other when they feel safe and happy in each other's presence. (This is my gently teasing you, by the way.)

They hugged like they haven't seen each other in months because it was exaggerated, in a joking way, as Jungkook had been abroad for a week. And possibly they just got snockered together the night before, so it's hilarious to them.

Jimin gave Hobi almost the same exaggerated hug even though two days prior they shared a drink together. I still cling to my work wife every week on the days when we're both in the office and it's been three years of us talking almost daily. It's a silly way to convey love.

Just like when Jimin says "Is it you? Is it you or is it me? The smell of alcohol." He asks this ridiculous question while also cradling a stinky JK to him, and JK is smiling so hard his eyes crinkle while he wraps his arms around Jimin's waist and presses him close with his hands. And then they proceed to stand next to each other, arms touching, like magnets for a good long while. You know, just the usual.

Just like on JK's lives where his eyes lit up and he kept calling for Jimin to come to him... after using extremely formal language to say hello and bow to Jimin? It's not actually conveying that there's distance between them--because in the next breath he's dropping all honorifics and using just the most possessive, entitled, teasing tone. You know, also just as usual.

It's about the juxtaposition of extremes.

Or when JK responded to Jimin's "I miss you" on WeVerse with extremely aegyo "Me too." Jungkook is a 25-year-old millionaire rock star with a motorcycle, a full sleeve of tattoos, several piercings, and 8-pack abs. But he can turn on his big doe eyes and act super cute for Jimin.

Now look, to be fair, I can't tell you Jikook are romantically together as if it were a fact. I don't live in their cupboards and stalk them 24/7. I am pretty sure they are not sharing an address right now that we've seen on camera.

I'm guessing they spend time over each other's houses when they can, when schedules line up, probably sometimes over night (they are night owls). And on nights when that's not possible, it seems to me that Jimin spends hours watching all of JK's lives and JK spends 90 minutes ignoring the live chat to watch Jimin on YouTube.

I'm pretty sure they keep in contact using technology when they are apart on projects because when Jungkook doesn't answer Jimin's texts, it drives him crazy.

I'm absolutely convinced they love each other and they sure do act like they are IN LOVE with each other.

My god, the tones they use exclusively for each other is enough... And also, I don't see anyone else in Bangtan lifting each other up, trying to touch each other's skin under clothing, squeezing each other's butts, rolling around in soap, calling each other baby, giving each other bite marks, making videos about each other sharing a room or a trip, or including each other on super secret hidden love songs that will never be for sales or streams. But honestly it's the way everyone around them from their members to family to brands to tattoo artists to boxing coaches all still treat them like a couple--that's the clincher for me.

Totally fine if you don't see it. I've tried, I've really truly tried to see other pairings in BTS, watched tons of content around it, and there's plenty of silly flirting and deep respect and tons of skinship, but I genuinely do not see the same exclusive intimacy and heated chemistry among anyone else, and that's saying something because Jimin has chemistry with everyone. (Jimin can make a broken lamppost light up with love.)

But just because *I* don't see it, doesn't mean I look down on others who do see genuine romantic feelings among other pairings. I don't have the monopoly on truth. I'm just making my best educated guesses.

The day I feel the need to wander over to someone else's space and tell them they are wrong and I am right and pop off on some diatribe about why they are so wrong and I am so right is the day I truly have lost the plot, and no longer actually believe in my own assertions.

It's completely normal to have doubts, to question yourself, to ask others for their takes on things. I was a hella insecure Jikooker my first few months as baby ARMY. And I admit, even now, sometimes I doom spiral and ask myself if maybe Jimin and Jungkook are just really good friends who have absolutely no sense of boundaries when it comes to each other and I'm projecting a love story onto them. But naw. Then they act like they did in that Bangtan Bomb from today and I'm pretty sure I'm not full-tilt delulu for thinking if it's not them it's not anyone.

And I do not need to convince anyone. I do not need to convert anyone. I don't even really need to answer this question put to me, but if you're hoping to be convinced...

Why do I think Jikook are still together?

Because while all of BTS really love each other... even if Jikook are apart for a while, the moment they are back together...

...everyone and everything else sort of fades away for them.

Even ARMY.

[thejesterjournal]

Post II- An Introduction to Poetry

This section in the textbook actually opened my eyes to what it means to be a writer. I've always seen talent as something you immediately have. You either got it or you don't. But, after reading this section, I realized that I do have a talent for poetry. I have the courage and willingness to experiment with whatever thought comes in my head. I write what I want. Talent is not another word for "prodigy." It's something that is carefully cultivated and practiced until it becomes second nature. We are quick to say "that person has a real talent" when someone commits a feat that we don't. But that takes away from the hard work and determination that goes into executing that feat. I can say, I have a talent for poetry and be truthful because I put everything I have into each word I write, each line I start, and each stanza I finish.

This brings me to the meaning of my poems. Two things mentioned in this section stand out to me:

Sometimes, meaning is secondary

The writer doesn't always have to think about meaning.

A friend (who I have no doubt stalks this page) recently told me that my poetry was depressing. Was she wrong? No. It is depressing. But, that doesn't mean I aim to make the reader depressed. In fact, when writing my poems I felt pretty hopeful. I wrote a poem about a body decaying in the woods. I can admit that would probably depress anyone. However, the end of the poem is about new life growing from that decayed body. Death makes way for new life. It's not so depressing anymore, is it? If you still say yes, I can't argue with that. I based the poem off a tapestry I have hanging in my room. (The tapestry is featured at the end of this post). My mother called it creepy so I felt the need to defend it. Turning the tapestry into something beautiful was my goal, and the meaning just happened to follow. I wasn't entirely sure what I wanted it to mean until I was putting the words on paper (and even then someone can find a meaning that I didn't notice before).

Another poem I wrote was based off a grave I came across while exploring a graveyard. The woman was the same age as me (21) when she died and it made me realize how vulnerable I truly was. I made a poem speculating about her life and who she was. When writing it, I didn't think about the meaning I wanted to portray. I wrote it as a one-sided conversation—asking questions I knew I wouldn't receive an answer for. The poem ends with her ghost comforting me and wishing me luck on my journey. I'm still not entirely sure what the poem means, but I know there are feelings in there that are relatable. Fears and concerns hidden in the subtext, revealed to those who look a little deeper. I didn't need to make the meaning obvious or write to portray a theme or lesson. I just needed to write. Sometimes, we take ourselves too seriously and try to find the meaning of a poem before writing the content. That can work, yes, but I think we should let ourselves freely write and see what we can create.

Which then brings me to what I think it means to be a poet. All I have to say is this: To be a poet means to be poetry. I am a canvas and life is my artist. My body is a pen and my experiences are paper. I am a body decaying in the woods and my readers are the plants growing from my remains.

[its-dean]

Interstella: How am I supposed to feel?

Just this past week, there was a special one-day screening in theaters of a "remastered" version of Leiji Matsumoto's Interstella 5555. On paper this is a really exciting thing to have happen, especially for me. This is one of my favorite films/anime/albums of all time, and I could honestly gush about it for as long as it would take for you to watch the whole thing start to finish :,)

But there's something more to all of this that makes the whole situation feel a bit complicated in my eyes. To summarize: this re-release, rather than being a remaster by traditional means, is one that's forced forward by the power of generative AI (you can notice it especially on Stella in the screenshot above). Just from watching the trailer on Daft Punk's Youtube Channel, things felt unnaturally crisp and, in a way, kind of "alien" to the original version I was so used to. I know that's a pretty personal takeaway for me to present you with, but it did alarm me with just how many keyframes I saw that looked very "unnaturally altered." Don't get me wrong, the picture quality is better than I've ever seen, a real shock to the system, but knowing the history behind this film and its production so well I just can't help but think about how this level of quality was something I was literally never meant to see.

This post is gonna be very different from what I usually like to share online, but since the announcement was made and the actual event has since happened, the thoughts have just been stirring in my mind nonstop. I wanted to put my thoughts out there for once, mostly because of how much this film inspires me.

The film itself is a visual masterpiece that I can't recommend enough. Headed by Leiji Matsumoto, an absolute visionary in the world of classic anime and one of my favorite artists in terms of his pure drawing style. I love a lot of his work, even as far back as Captain Harlock and the original Battleship Yamato, both from the '70s (though I'll always say that Interstella is my favorite project he was ever attached to). Considering he just passed away a little over a year ago, I'm a bit torn up over whether or not this AI driven re-release was really the best way to honor all of his hard work...

And then, if we're gonna talk about what you'll be listening to, you've got Daft Punk with Discovery, which is literally my favorite LP of all time(though I'd say in large part it's thanks to this film). I'll be honest, this post is about the visual film rather than the music, so I'm not going to be talking so much about them here. All of their songs are still there and in perfect condition, and considering these two broke up over 3 years ago I think it's an overall amazing feeling to see their music still being promoted like this (especially when it's Discovery).

It's really exciting for me to see Interstella getting a visual "update" such as this. The entire film is crafted to be a very "flow-based" experience unlike what you'd see in traditional anime/cinema. There's not a single word of spoken dialogue, and things are kept at a very brisk pace with high frame rates and detailed compositions. Not to mention the fact that the entire film is a well thought-out commentary on the music industry's hidden faults: exploitation of talent and destruction of creativity. It's a message that's unfortunately proved itself to be a timeless one, something I think we all need to refresh ourselves on from time to time. Reasons like these are why I'm really glad that this re-release even happened at all, because I think it's a wonderful thing to celebrate this type of creative and visual storytelling.

The debate I've been having with myself, though, comes from what I had mentioned before: generative AI. If you know the full story, they it might make more sense why the people who restored this thing chose to do it this way (well, besides the obvious $$$). Film restoration is a long and laborious process, but it becomes impossible to undertake unless you have the actual original film reel to work with. Toei Animation, the studio who produced the film, had scrapped the old master for the project, so there was literally no physical strip to be cleaned and re-scanned for this modern re-release. The best these new producers could do was to find a recording of the film, use it themselves, and pump that through an generative AI program. This type of approach doesn't make me feel like it was something they wanted to do, but rather saw this new technology as a means to bring easy profits, definitely a very artificial and soulless approach to promote and sell something that honestly didn't need to be remastered in the first place, but I'll talk about that later.

I should make it clear after saying all that, my opinions are very much rooted in all of these statements I'm making. I think it would be unfair for me to claim that I know all the sides of this story, but there are just those one or two key decisions made here that makes it hard for me to keep quiet. Daft Punk doesn't deserve any slack for doing something like this, they've been broken up for years and have already won me over time and time again through their music. And again, I think it's a wonderful revelation to be able to see this film shine again in theaters (even if it was only for one day). If any of you have pieces to this puzzle that might contribute to this rhetoric I'm winding here, definitely let me know by leaving a comment or messaging me. I'd love to learn more!

Because I wanna stay focused on the film itself, I'd actually like to transition to some of the more positive things I took away from all of this. I'll start with this: one thing I'm VERY glad to have noticed is that the remaster doesn't seem to be using AI to "insert frames." A common thing to see with a lot of these generative projects is a desire to have everything running at an unnatural 60 frames per second. The problem with this is that it forces these AI programs to try and fill in the blanks on their own, producing frames that were never actually made in the original animation sequence. This always end up resulting in movement that I think feels far too fluid to be compelling.

Unlike a lot of anime, and animation in general, Interstella already has quite a surprising amount of motion. I think it was likely done to try and tell as much story as possible, but there are so many sequences where I'm left surprised at just how many frames are packed into a single second of animation, lots of really quick camera panning too (High Life is a great example of this imo).

I think this whole idea of inserting frames to make things run at 60 fps is a very naive outlook on what animation is meant to offer. Letting your mind fill in the blanks is what animation is all about, and that's why elements such as breaking movement into ones and twos are some of the most powerful tools in an animator's arsenal. (This is a personal opinion I'd like to tack on, but I also think that seeing the "grainy-ness" which comes with older productions like this can make for a much more whimsical experience. It adds this dreamy, ethereal personality to certain key moments that's difficult to put into words, and it makes the overall watching experience feel much more memorable if you ask me). It makes me very happy to see that restraint from whatever team was in charge of putting this together, because Interstella is still a masterpiece in animation, even over 20 years later.

I really want to recommend that you watch this thing for yourself if you get the chance. Just get cozy, grab a good pair of headphones, turn the lights off, and take the time to appreciate this art in it's original form. The entire film is on Youtube and can be found very easily under a number of playlists, mainly because each single in Daft Punk's Discovery corresponds to a different part of the film. It still feels wild that there was this much I wanted to say about an event that's already come and gone, but I think I decided to take this leap to put some important food for thought out there, as well as to help you learn a little bit about myself. Animation has always called to me, and I've never found myself drawn to these modern-day trends that try to focus on building new spectacle from old works. Part of the fun with animation in watching it is thinking about the artists behind the screen, thinking about everything they were able to paint and produce using all of their effort. Whether it be art in a visual sense or art as presented through Daft Punk's unique music, I hope you might be willing to give this film a watch if you haven't already. (And if you have, then why not go for another ride!)

(When I rewatched this part I could only think that when Daft Punk made a cameo their reactions are really just a self-fulfilling prophecy rip)

[master-of-the-game]

seeing you make oil paintings of elim garak has changed something about the way i perceive art, both in what others make but also in what i am capable of making.

it’s probably due to learning mostly euro-centric art history, but i’ve always thought of oil paintings as like the peak of painting ability? like, it’s fancy and it takes a while so i thought that it must be the best (ignoring the fact that my artistic field is mostly in acrylic paints and 3D sculpting and yet i still consider it very good). and i’m still working on disproving this sort of mentality that there are mediums inherently better than others, because it’s incredibly limiting to my creativity to impose a higharchy, and also it feels kind of xenophobic.

i digress a bit. point is, i’ve viewed oil paintings as a medium only deserving of gallery-type realistic portrait stuff, which is very much not what i do. i don’t make the sorts of fancy art rich people would pay for- the type of art i thought oils were for. i make paintings of comic book characters and sculptures of my personal heroes, i make jewelry and clothes and stuffed animals. stuff that i enjoy. which is good!

but still somewhere lurking in my brain was this voice telling me that on some level my works weren’t as meaningful or creative because they were fan works or made from materials i’m not an expert in or because the only people i draw and paint and sculpt are queer and trans, like me. that because my art was self-indulgent, on some level i suppose i thought it lesser.

but then i see your art. and holy shit! you’re work is INCREDIBLE! at first i was excited because, hey, i’m a big star trek fan, and garak is one of my favorite characters. i love coming across fan art of him, and it always manages to strike a chord with me. but then. as i looked at it closer, i realized it was on canvas. as i scrolled down i realize it was oil on canvas.

before, i’d pretty much only seen fanart as sketches on paper or digital drawings. one that is really only meant art-wise for quick sketches or planning of what will become “real” works, and one that doesn’t actually take up any physical space in our world, and is stored away in a little digital file.

but oil on canvas? that’s not meant to be thrown away, it’s meant to be held in gloved hands, as it is precious, and it’s not meant to be hidden away in the “files” on a laptop. no, those hang on the walls of museums or houses, meant to be displayed with pride for all to see.

and with those too colliding thoughts, that of fan works as some lesser form of art but oil paintings being the art of the rich and talented… well i realized that both were wrong. fan works are not in any way shape or form lesser than original works. what makes my layered ink painting of dream of the endless any less important than my painting of the ocean during a storm? nothing! they’re both good works. and on the other side, there is nothing that makes my oil paintings more important than my acrylic paintings or my sculpture or my knitting. it’s all art, lovely art, in the end. and the only thing that really matters is that i enjoy it.

seeing your art has helped me break some (minor) yet harmful thoughts i didn’t really even realize i had. so thank you for that. also your garak art is fucking good, and it really makes me think about what sort of life he would have after ds9. anyways, thank you. that’s what i’ve been meaning to say (that’s what this whole thing is). thanks for changing my vision for the better.

Oh wow! You know, it is very important and gratifying to know that results of your work make person rearrange their thoughts and views on something. Thank you for your sincerity! Now back to subject. I personally believe that fan work can be something fine and vice versa something fine can be a fan work. One thing that is very important to remember and remind yourself is that most of fine art that you've mentioned - gallery and most famous works (at least in european tradition) - are, well, derivative. Of Bible, of ancient myths. Yes. All this stuff can be considered maybe not fanart - but it is a subject for discussion - but illustration at least. And it is still fine art. Book illustrations - oh well. Sometimes I want to hang them on the wall, especially old ones. So - why not? Fan work always has a connotation of something derivative, and it certainly is... But just as well as most of the most prominent works. Dixi :D So that's the matter. Medium of course matters but medium does not always define the subject of art (except for common sense), as you've said. It's just maybe the cost of medium (some watercolor brushes for some reason cost... ehm. Too much :D) that defines its price, but not necessarily. I like thinking about this issue and discussing it... Plenty room for ideas. Thank you!

[johannwolfgangvongoethe]

modding/chara building diary

just realized i can just post truly anything. this is sort of ffxiv posting but not really. this is also sort of enstars posting but not really.

this exists so i can look back on it <:) a lot of this probably makes no sense to most people, sorry.

uhh i was kinda into modding ffxiv two years ago. then i stopped because the community around this is full of the most unsympathetic people you will ever meet, and that was honestly just very demotivating. but i play ffxiv regularily and its rather fun and easy to mod. and thats illegal!!! btw!!!! (no one care)

so since enstars has hurt me one too many times and there is no hope for things to get better, i am coping (or not) and grieving terribly by making a seeker catboy who isnt really koga but has all the parts of him that are important to me and that i enjoy.

yeah idk if this is productive either. but its not doing any harm probably. ffxiv as a game has its ups an downs but i find the universe to be very very easy and fun to build around.

idk. im just having fun with it for now.

ive been meaning to make an NA alt and replay some of the early game at least (i started in... 2017? its been so long. man.) and this seems like a perfectly nice vehicle to do so :) and while that happens, i can maybe organically learn about the pretty-much-OC i am trying to build. but out of perfectionist ambitions, i had to mod everything into place first.

i have decided on a name but i ueuuueeehhhhughhhh >publically naming your characters when youre a modder. so i will say "W" for now. basic lore thoughts i knew going into this:

he needs to be a tia because i like catboys and theyre all vaguely gay loner nerds and incredibly hyperfixated on one specific topic

the Warg seeker tribe seems like the obvious and fun pick

i want a monochrome grey colour scheme + Much Teeth

-> game limitations classify those as keeper traits, not seeker traits. but i dont care!!! however that means im using a keeper model for all of this

the character has to be an artist. because the "i need to make art and i wont accept any other way of life" sort of mentality is precious to me due to how unsustainable and stubborn it is

-> i have for now settled on painter because its the type of art i have most connections to. also bc uh love and beast ref ig (I HATE YOU "HIDDEN BEAST"!!!! I HATE YOUUUU!!!!!! but its cute he was a painter for it, isnt it)

his place of origin is most likely the north shroud, esp the bit that got utterly messed up by the calamity, around alder springs. mostly because its an interesting place and warg must exist in the area due to the ixal

this also implies the warg seekers might work in mining these days Or have largely moved their residence. or they split up. i need to re-do coils

to support himself while his art isnt selling yet, i think itd be nice to put him with a tree nursery around gridania that i already thought of for my main ffxiv chara. i just think its funny if theyre ex-coworkers. that is all

-> hes creating incomprehensible symbolism-y shit to me. without people in it. but constantly attempting to redefine and depict humanity without humans. he hates drawing landscapes and portraits but will do so grumpily, if it gets him acknowledged and paid

because i am forever deeply fan of the rkg dynamic, the character must have a muse, which is dead, but which he clings to dearly for inspiration and emotional support. esp bc i dont think the guys that social otherwise.

the drama of him seeing a ghost that is no longer there but real to him is nice.... and honestly even practical. it might just be aetheric residue with a sprinkle of mental illness.

what of the muse? i dont know. a fellow painter, who couldnt follow that passion. obviously they must have met before. i have vague thoughts but nothing im confident enough in yet (i think a duskwight family of heretics could be interesting and dramatic but ehhh) ALSO I DONT THINK THEYRE ACTUALLY DEAD-DEAD LOL but i havent figured the situation out yet

-> you know in star trek tng when Q just randomly shows up to bother picard. thats maybe sort of how id describe whats going on

the muse W sees is a version of a person that is long gone, and cannot return. the actual person behind that might still be out there but they are not the one that left an impact on W. what W sees and passionately interacts with is a phantom that only exists bc his mind allows it to, it is a self-serving vision, at least to a degree. maybe comparable to what fray is.

-> W never actually paints them. he only paints emotions about them. (they were a portrait artist and it makes them rather sad)

which leaves me with a nice to do list i can work on every once in a while, like making the chara, doing sidequests in the north shroud, looking at leve and fish descriptions of that area, doing coils again. to begin with.

anyhow, to the actual modding part. its such a work in progress. but i have made so many small adjustments already.

got an asymmetric face UV base to work on

edited the face mesh, mostly to make the chin more broad and to pull up lower canines

translated the standard miqo'te facial markings into smth more dog-like in appearance, while attempting to keep their canon design somewhat intact

added some basic make up, as well as bit of a gradient

+AN ASHY NOSE. THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING A MIQO'TE CAN HAVE

got rid of the ear skin

replaced ears and tails with a torgal body parts port WHICH THANKFULLY EXISTED ALREADY? THANK YOU RANDO ON XMA

darkened the eyeball to resemble canine eyes more

slightly adjusted the dimensions of some face and body parts, like the nose

got rid of the catboy tear lines. bc on dogs they look unhealthy. now hes not a dog. and they dont look bad on game models. but the association is there. this makes no sense really, it just bothered me personally

-> to do: definitely need stronger thicker brows. look up how that works now after the graphics update. add a bit of skin texture? a bit of freckles/moles? need to find out how to hide hair when a full helmet is equipped. also since the ears are attached to the tail, i need a version of the model that just has the tail, so i can kick the ears if i need to (impossible to explain. but what if he wore a hat)

i made a hair mashup for this because. why not. then i painfully retaught myself how weighting armatures works. bc i hate myself. also made shapekeys, so he can wear hats. but i learned a lot so its ok (crying) (thumbs up)

TBSE download bc what else are you supposed to do

added a gradient to his lower legs and arms too, to match his face, also added some skin details but nothing crazy

started making the hands uglier. this guy touches dirt and paint thinner all day. he must have the ugliest hands in the world. and i love that.

but its not enough. we have to go deeper. i have to make them WORSE STILL!!!!!!!! i wonder if i can just shorten the fingers or if that will mess up animations. hmmm ill have to try

also made a quick chest piece mashup just so hes dressed in smth for now.

-> to do: worse hands. maybe paint on rougher skin? i think it would be cute to add paint he didnt manage to wash off to his hands? hrmmm. also ill need to make custom earrings. there still smth about the hair that i need to fix (augh)

but yeah thats what i got so far. might update later on. i just thought itd be fun to capture my initial thinking process in case this goes somehwhere. i like being creative but im not that huge on drawing tbh. so i do stuff like this and nui clothing to stay sane while also engaging in arts and crafts LOL....

[xielexalt]

2024 Retrospective, in detail

(aka the yapping version???)

Oh man. There's a lot I could say about this year.

As I said in the month-by-month art (music) retrospective, this is a transitional year and I've felt that heavily throughout, with things happening in IRL, school, and the creative world that show that this is a year where I'm turning the page, or starting the next entry, and most importantly -- learning where I stand in the world, while looking back upon my entire past.

This is the year I decided to put more effort into ZETHIEL's existence, he's honestly given me so much happiness. Commissioning artists and singing as him, building his lore, being thankful that other people love him and are excited to see him -- it makes me so, so happy. Although 2024 is definitely the year of ZETHIEL in a way, I'll probably have to dial him back in Q1 2025 just so I can focus on my other project that's in the works. (More on this later.) With Seraphic Alchemy especially, I think he's in a good spot where I can step away for a bit and he can still be something I'm satisfied with.

I've reevaluated a lot where I stand as a music producer, and I feel like I'm just kind of in a weird limbo in regards to that too. I'm a little under a year away from graduating my music production program, but as for my work opportunities, it's a bit strange. I'm proud I can do VGM & BGM work for others, but in terms of my personal tastes and creations, I'm just not entirely certain since I haven't created much in the way of original vocal songs this year either. I hope next year I can continue working on things so I can find the answer to what it means for me to be a music producer.

About my self-identity. To put it plainly, I have some form of DID/OSDD, although I don't talk about it in detail, it does strongly influence some of the narratives or emotions behind my work. This year has been vital for uncovering certain truths about my past and my soul, and coming more to terms with myself. These revelations definitely drive me forwards as a musician and creative. Honestly, the way I interpret and process the different sides of myself is almost a form of art in and of itself; like a sort of writing and worldbuilding that helps me process my memories and traumas. The sort of "beautiful" artistic approach I bring to understanding the facets of myself, is also the way I wish to express myself in the art I publish in the outer-facing world. Even now, I'm on the precipice of yet another a vital realization, I'm always trying to look inwards and outwards to figure out how I'm supposed to grow, and how I can put together the puzzle pieces of my disharmonic memory. It's been a rough challenge over the past four years especially to process certain things, but I'm finally glad that after all this time I feel like we're closer to the truth, and we're at a place that feels much better than the years preceding. This is why 2024 feels "transitional."

I don't want to sacrifice or hide any part of my self-identity when it comes to the public works I create. I may dress it up in metaphor, but I don't want to be inauthentic and self-sanitizing. I don't want to live in fear that the real things I experience are to be hidden away from my "professional" canvas. After all, to fully convey the self is something I think is a goal in art, and is the very essence of art itself.

It's easy to get lost in creation, and get frustrated with it, or feel like you're at a standstill with yourself. Imposter syndrome or art block, you name it -- these things bring severe doubt. But you have to remember the "soul" -- one should care for their soul, their body, that sort of thing. It's not easy, by any means. It can take years to truly understand what that means for you -- what it means to nurture and take care of your soul, and how it connects to you being an artist. Maybe this is what you call "purpose," too. More and more this year, I realize the importance of connecting to one's soul, and then in turn connecting that soul to art. This makes an outlook on art that brings more authenticity, and little regret. At least, that's how it is for me.

I regretted a lot of things when I first started creating. I felt like I was inauthentic too. But there are these things: taking therapy, reflecting upon my own self, finding healing and catharsis through fictional outlets, taking certain humanities classes that enlighten me on vital things about human nature and history... All of these have helped me grow and in turn prepare to be an artist I can be confident in.

I'm still prone to breakdowns and episodes, unfortunately is the nature of my disorders and the way I was raised. Even now I'm writing while trying to recover from a terrible mental health emergency, that happened over a week ago. I'm unsure when I'll fully recover, but I'm really looking forward to getting the ball rolling on that one personal project -- the one I said I'm gonna focus on in Q1 2025.

I've already done quite a bit of work on it this year behind-the-scenes, though I'm really going to have to shift gears and lock into focus for this now that ZETHIEL channel is less of a priority. I've brought together many artists and I hope they can showcase their work soon as promotional material once I finish my main promotional piece.

In the coming year, 2025 will still be in the transitional phase of my life. I'm expecting more new beginnings as I set sail into adulthood more and more, since I'm set to graduate college soon. After that, there's the question of moving out, relationships, careers, all that kinds of stuff. I think I'll figure it out as I move along.

Since I have quite a few mental disabilities, it is difficult for me to work every day, and I rest more often than not. But I still find myself dedicated to my music work and find fulfillment in being able to do things I have pride in.

This coming year will definitely be all new territory that I'm afraid to face, but I know I'll make it out one way or another. And I hope I can continue creating something that is beautiful and inspiring to others, to give them hope in this world that lacks it.

[poxei]

i see you creating and planning and Thinking. you’ve made characters with attention and uhhh scrutiny, with so much care that they feel real, less like a tale with a lesson, and more like an account recorded long ago. i see your work, and i see so many places where you made distinct and thoughtful choices—in color, lighting, shape, but also in positions, and perspectives, and shots, to the point where your pieces evolve into a sort of choreography. there’s motion and movement and apparel, elements that communicate so much nuance and greatly carry some implications, and i feel like that’s an incredible sort of attention, a quality of skill most marvelous. there’s an emotion and mood in your pieces (especially with avery and/or ansel) that i feel is very unique and distinct, and whether it’s intentional or intuitive, it always seems very… thorough. so fleshed out and multitudinous. i’m sorry for being incoherent, but i mean to say that your work is full of depth and creative thought, and it’s a depth and creativity that is so elegantly suffused into your work that i often miss it, but has suddenly become so apparent to me. there’s that piece with avery with his head on the table with a cup of water in front of him (heat wave?); the expression on his face, combined with the positon of his folded arms and head slumped on top of them, create a figure who exudes exhaustion (which sounds oxymoronic), and then you placed a cup of water in front of him, and let our sight of his face pass through it, so that his eyes not only look at the cup with a mixture of misery and desperation, but also to the audience with a plea, for reprieve from his anguish. and you did all the lines in redder hues and used a warm yellow for the tile and water (instead of a blue!!) and surrounded the work in a red frame, which (alongside the red lines) well communicate that feeling of relentless heat. the entire work is like an ode to misery of those hot summer days where the sun is trying to bake you alive and the air is trying to crush you with a weight of a boulder, and it’s so succinctly captured with one person, one object, and a bare setting. which is just super awesome!! that skill, of creating a picture that captures the atmosphere of the moment like that, is just in such great quality within you. it’s true of all your pieces, and i feel that there is a great amount of deliberation for these productions, and i feel that it comes together all so nicely! with such grace and completeness do your pieces appear, that an observer would first believe a piece to be a real moment in time before a choreographed design. i can see your genius in your art, and i find it tremendously impressive. your art captures and displays a range of themes and moods, and each one can stand singularly with a thematic might. i feel somewhat abashed for not recognizing i your creative process before now, but i hope that you know that the depths and multitudes within you, and which you have put into your work, indeed reach the eye with profundity and impact, and that your works are something i remember, and keep in mind when doing my own works of art.

i saw this in my inbox this morning and have been debating whether to even post it, because it somehow feels selfish to post it (it's incredibly positive towards me), but also selfish to keep it hidden in my inbox and never let you know how i felt reading it. but i think i need to post it after all, since you took the time to write all this, and i want to show my appreciation. thank you for truly looking at my art through such a thoughtful lens, and writing such beautiful prose and analyses. you made me notice things about my own art that i probably wouldn't have noticed, artistic decisions that i may have subconsciously made. i'm going to come back and read this message again whenever i feel bad about my art in the future, or when i feel cringe about posting my oc work again, and remind myself that there's at least one viewer out there who is understanding it 💛

(heat wave)

[saintcahara]

My take on Elden Ring & its DLC

Excellent game for most of the reasons mentioned by other players, however I would like to add a little nuance since FromSoftware is visibly immune to the slightest criticism because if we find a fault in their games, it's just that we is bad (no).

It's a real renewal compared to what open worlds usually offer: there is a real interest in exploring because no matter what lost place you discover, you will find at least one interesting item there, if not a hidden dungeon or boss. The map is sufficient in itself; no need for dozens of “?” to alert you that a certain place has something to offer. We don't hold your hand with a HUD saturated with information, which is a real breath of fresh air (Ubisoft's parodies are hardly an exaggeration...).

The artistic direction is unique and really solid: we rarely see settings so beautiful and worthy of a painting. They are also unique, far from the clichés of the forest, winter or fire zone (so yes there are the snowy mountains, but besides that we can find farum azula and caelid). The bosses have designs that are all different and all consistent despite everything (we're not going to talk about the recycled bosses, that said, because it's obvious that it's a lazy choice). The voice acting is very special compared to what we're used to encounter, and yet it's a hell of a job. The use of old english is very immersive.

Now for the negatives. Obviously I will have more things to say since everyone is praising the game. I dislike the fact barely anyone can mention what it does wrong. And since I like to complain, there I go.

FromSoftware should not be immune to critique.

We can't make pause. Just go to a site of grace you'd tell me, but what if there isn't one within range and I can't teleport because of the presence of enemies? Having to let a boss kill you because you have to AFK for five minutes is ridiculous, especially if I put him below half his HP. What about when I'm in a dungeon? Not all corners are secure, even more so when mobs are making rounds. It's not the end of the world, certainly, but it's still a discomfort and honestly I don't care that all Dark Souls are like that. Just because you never wipe your ass doesn't mean it's a good habit.

The next remark is more about the DLC, Shadow of the Erdtree. I thought that in the base game the map was quite readable and easy to navigate when it came to traveling to a new area. But then, the DLC map... A quarter of the information is hidden BELOW what we see on the map. I spent my time looking at the walkthroughs to find this or that place because you simply CAN'T see what's underneath the reliefs. Skill issue some will think, but if you like to spend your time walking along the walls, great good for you and I am happy that having to randomly gallop on Torrent for long minutes/hours fulfills you.

Finally, the quest system. I understand the desire to purify the game as much as possible and facilitate immersion. But, when you've talked to fifteen NPCs in a row, unlocked their quests, and stop playing for several weeks, you're screwed. I think it's a bad choice not to add a quest log, because sometimes it's so complicated and wacky that it's hard to find your way around. I put the game down for a very long time and now, apart from beating up Radagon's ass, I don't know what I was doing. Maybe it worked in Dark Souls, especially because they weren't such big open worlds, but this time it's ridiculous.

Roughly speaking, these are the only three major criticisms I have. They are in no way prohibitive, the game remains EXCELLENT and I highly recommend it to all those who like the challenge, or the highly worked lore. Only, I hope that my criticisms can be heard and, who knows, satisfied one day.

[narratingvoice]

how much new content do you think it'll take to satisfy the fandom, discuss

(aka this is my own attempt to come on here and say to the Mod: I absolutely love the way you write The Narrator's replies!! they sound so canon istfg reading all of your text posts makes me wanna write or draw smthn (even tho I can't rn since I have both writer's and artist's block help ☠️) like damn I would've mistakened you for the real dude /hj anyway I hope you're doing well in this hellish summer toodlesss)

How much new content? My dear, there is no limit to the amount of new content that people will demand. Even if one person says, "all right, that's enough Stanley Parable for me for the rest of my life", and moves on to other pursuits, there is always another eager to continue. And I can't really blame them, can I? I'm the one who made the tagline of the entire game "the end is never the end". If you feel disappointed that the game is not literally infinite, well too bad, I already got your money. I hope you liked what I gave you. (No really, please tell me. I need to hear the adulation.)

But in any case, you can always rely on your imagination to expand the story ever outward. And many of you have. Just look at this:

From this statistic we can deduce two things: One, the fandom is insatiable for more content starring me and Stanley (and maybe some other, less important characters). Two, they are able and willing to provide it themselves. This is an arrangement that pleases me greatly, because it means I don't have to do any of the work but I still get the name recognition. It's been over a year since Ultra Deluxe released and the brand is still going strong and sticking in people's memory. That means I win! I am living in your head rent-free, as the kids are fond of saying. It means I am loved, and I am remembered, and I am real. Keep going forever!

In fact, if the rate of fan works ever starts to fade away, I'll just drop another remake onto whatever new consoles are out by then, with maybe a few new endings carefully hidden deep within the office, to make people hunt for them. That certainly seems to be working out for Ghost Trick right now and I don't think Capcom added any new content at all. That way we can keep a mutually beneficial cycle of content and attention going.

((thanks so much! It really means a lot because I try very hard to nail his voice. it's been very hot and humid and i hate it. also, play Ghost Trick))

[fierceawakening]

That person blocked me and will likely block earl too, but:

earlgraytay

3m ago

The other thing is, like...

Okay, look, I've played around with AI art some, and I've even made some attempts to use it in digital collage. I am also a (mediocre!) artist, mostly a cartoonist, and I draw a lot of anime-inspired stuff. I know what it's like to be told that your art style isn't "real art".

.......the process of using an AI to generate an image is completely different from the process of creating more conventional art, and the differences in that process make it completely uninteresting to me, as both an artist and an enjoyer of art.

A lot of what "speaks to me" about a piece of art is figuring out why the artist made the choices they made-on both the macro and micro level- and seeing how they used the techniques they had at their disposal.

AI art... doesn't really do it for me, unless it's part of a collage or assemblage, because neither of those things are really present. When you're working with a generative AI, you're just not making the same kinds of micro level choices about lighting, colour, scene composition, and so on- you're letting the computer make those choices for you. Similarly, there's no real analysis of technique to be done on an AI generated image. The closest thing to "technique" is, bluntly, pushing the "pull from gacha" button. There's nothing to talk about there.

....I am not even, like, Against AI Art Because It's Theft. it's just *boring* to me. Because a lot of the things that interest me most about art just aren't there.

===

I feel this way in general too. I know that a lot of prompters do get very elaborate: "a green unicorn with a yellow mane facing right reading a physics book with a steaming cup of tea on the desk in front of them. Their expression is gentle and kind." but... all of the ways to portray that, in making traditional art, whether or not you're drawing, are little choices that give the work a particular character and personality.

That said, my strongest objection (just saying I disagree with Earl, not trying to say he's Wrong Bad or something) is still consent. You can't throw a spitball on X without hitting an artist posting "Just found out I was on the hidden list of people used to train Midjourney, fuck that, I never gave permission."

If people did not give permission, using the tool is going against their LITERAL STATED WISHES. That's what's not cool, for me.

If everyone else was like "yeah sure train AI on my work, it's posted publicly, that means I accepted this risk even though I didn't know at the time it even existed" and only I personally was like "I hope my novels aren't in there," I'd figure I've just got weird preferences and adjust (though I think I'd still advocate for me and people like me to be able to petition for our work to be excluded/removed from the dataset, if this is possible.)

But it's not at ALL uncommon for people to feel they should have had a say and to get upset that they didn't. So I'm not going to use something they're angry about not having had a say in.

For me that's just the decent thing to do? Which is why that person's rage is so confusing to me. They obviously think it's morally acceptable where I don't, but they block instead of explaining why.

That's... I don't want to say that's a guilty conscience, I don't know, but it's sure weird. If consent doesn't matter here and it's weird scrupulosity that makes me think it does, surely that can be logically explained?

Like. My guy. I got a Master's in philosophy. "You are wrong about the base assumptions of how morality works, all the way down" was just Tuesday for about seven years of my life there. I can handle you explaining why you think I'm wrong to think consent matters here.

Or is that why Lmao is all you've got?

[babyleostuff]

the anime issue is being brought up now because someone was trying to call out another idol for watching it (this case was also a little old). Now every idol who’s ever mentioned it is being dragged into the conversation. The original call-out might have just been a random shot by the type of people always out to cancel idols. This one just happened to gain traction now

Made in Abyss was extremely popular and well-acclaimed for its plot, characters, and world-building when it was released. I’m not surprised multiple idols have seen and mentioned it. The story is a gory horror fantasy, that does edgy things to be shocking and sensational. It’s a medium where you’re often ignoring distasteful or immature jokes, caricature, tropes, etc as embellishments to an otherwise interesting story. You might become desensitized and overlook things you would be more alarmed by if you thought of it in a real world context.

I will say that the manga is by far the worst offender, the anime is cleaned up a little, and the Korean adaptation might be sanitized even more. I understand people’s complaints because the disturbing themes still aren’t exactly hidden, but I don’t know if I expect a casual watcher to be watching with a critical mindset. Sometimes someone’s just watching a popular anime without thinking that deeply about it.

The major complaints were the youth of the main characters and gratuitous nudity, body fluids and functions, torture, gore, etc. Maybe it’s jarring and horrifying to make you feel uncomfortable on purpose. But it’s frequent, often unnecessary for the plot, and a lot of it’s presented in sexualized depictions even if it’s completely not sexual within the story itself. A lot of people also question the author’s…interest and love of children.

So we’re battling a few moral dilemmas when engaging with this story. Separation of the artist from the art. Does the media one consumes reflect their values? Expectation of idols to be morally superior. And then some of the outrage sounds like rhetoric used leading up to literary (and fanfiction) purges, and you get to the slippery slope of censorship and banned writing.

I’m trying to present a little of both sides. Yes I hope people are able to look at stories like this and be critical of the pedophilic framing. I don’t want to normalize or imply support for the author, inclusion of these story tropes, or anyone interested in them in that way by promoting such works. But also people will write disturbing stuff and it’s up to you to police your intake.

Harry Potter, Game of Thrones, The Office, Friends, Brooklyn 99, Disney princess movies, Ghibli, Hunter x Hunter, SpongeBob - many popular stories and franchises contain problematic elements under scrutiny. For many issues, people don’t assume reading or watching it means you engage or support it (think stories involving mafia or gang violence, domestic violence, war, cannibalism, murder, even incest). Topics like sexual orientation, gender, and sexualizing minors seem to be the ones that frequently spark the most heated responses and threats of censorship.

That’s my long spiel on this topic. I don’t want to dismiss the concerns, because I do hope people are critical of the media they consume and recommend. Sometimes, that’s being able to parse through the good and the bad of a story and be aware of it. There aren’t completely unproblematic and unbiased stories just like there aren’t perfect artists, writers, and idols.

I’m not sure this will be directly addressed by any idols. Others have liked controversial stories, animes, characters, and people before and I think they usually just let it pass quietly. I imagine if they engaged with it as just a harmless piece of entertainment- they’re not going to think much more of it. Maybe idols will know not to mention it in the future

oh my, you’re so well spoken 👁️👄👁️

thank you so much though, this truly makes more sense to me now