"womp womp" i said as my life shattered before my eyes. personal blog used exclusively for yapping, by cahara. he / him - 22yo
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what's very fucking sad is. i'm a trans man pre-T and i just told myself that i would give up anything meaningful to me just so i could be born a cis man.
i would abandon my drawing skills ; my love for art ; my passion for video games ; my hearing ; my voice. anything.
#yappin#transgender#i know it's not my fault it's societies#but being trans makes everything so difficult#hell i'd even accept being a cis woman#i just don't want to struggle so much#a bit of a vent post but idk i felt like saying it#and some still think being trans is a choice lmaoaoaoaoaoao
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i felt inspired
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smol sketch of nelly and dark link
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Hello 👋, I hope you're doing well..
My name is Mahmoud, and I'm a 17-year-old from Gaza. The ongoing war has devastated my city, destroyed my school, and made daily life incredibly challenging.
Despite these hardships, I'm determined to continue my education and build a better future. I've been given a chance to study abroad, but I need help to cover the costs of leaving Gaza, as well as living expenses and other essentials abroad once the crossing opens.. 🙏
If you can, please consider donating or sharing, your kindness can truly make a difference, and thanks for your time. ❤🍉
https://gofund.me/bd3ccf0b 🔗
sadly i cannot help, although i'm sharing so a kind soul can donate a bit. i hope you will be ok.
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i had an idea. since i learned how to make pretty fantasy maps, should i try to sell those ? i know there would be some kind of demand because finding a good FREE map generator is nearly impossible and they look ugly lmao
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this motherfucker
#yappin#yellow sage#i hated him#a RAT thats all you are#u got what u deserved#HE GOT ME SO MAD#black myth wukong
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Neytiri’s Fatal Flaw and Her Future Arc.
I was watching the deleted/original cut of the scene with Neytiri holding Spider hostage which — first off, incredible scene by the way like holy shit — but it made me think about how perfectly it served for Neytiri’s character.
Someone might’ve already talked about this already, but what I don’t think a lot of people realize is that this scene serves as the payoff for earlier Neytiri-related scenes as well as a starting point for her arc going forward.
If you haven’t watched the scene, here, it’s a far more impactful version of an already hard hitting scene and I’m going to treat it as what “really” happened in the story for the sake of analysis.
The first moment I’m focusing on is this one where Neytiri goes to pick up her bow after killing a few RDA grunts, only to find that the bow is now broken and unusable.
There’s a running theme in these two movies that I’ve seen people point out and that’s how Neytiri keeps losing things that are precious to her, whether they be people, places, or objects.
In the first movie, she loses a lot including but not limited to the Hometree, the Tree of Voices, her older sister, Tsu’tey, her Ikran, and her father. When her father dies, he grants her the Ceremonial Bow and that’s what she ends up using to fight in all subsequent battles.
In the second movie, she thankfully doesn’t lose as much, but she’s still forced to leave her home and her first born son is killed in the heat of battle, rough times all around.
You’ll note that I didn’t include losing her precious bow on the list of things she lost and that’s because she didn’t lose the bow, she broke it.
All the other losses I’ve described are caused by the RDA, but this one isn’t. Instead of her bow being broken by another grunt in the heat of the battle, she’s the one who breaks it by swinging it haphazardly at her enemies.
I may not know all that much about archery or making weapons, but I’m almost certain that bows aren’t designed to be used like that, which is why her bow broke the way that it did.
And it cannot be understated how important this bow must be to Neytiri. I mentioned before that it was given to her by her late father, making it an important connection to her family already, but it’s also made from the wood of Hometree. So not only is it a connection to her family, it’s a connection to her people and the home that was stolen from them.
All that and she still broke it, not because she didn’t cherish the bow, but because she just couldn’t control her anger enough to handle it properly.
And that’s what I feel Neytiri’s fatal flaw is, as well as what her arc will be primarily focusing on in the upcoming movies — Neytiri’s anger and hatred leads to blind rage, and she becomes liable to hurt those she cares about.
For the record, I am not making the claim that Neytiri’s flaw is that she gets angry. Being outraged by death and destruction, hating those who bring about injustice, these aren’t flaws and aren’t things she should be vilified for. What is a flaw is how she uses her anger, or rather how it uses her.
Jake spells it out pretty cleanly in a scene that happened a while ago. When Tonowari told Jake and Neytiri about the destruction the RDA was causing to the nearby villages, they immediately connect it back to Quaritch. Neytiri describes how they have to finish off Quaritch — “we have to hunt this demon, trap him, kill him” — and this is what Jake says in response to that idea:
“We gotta be smart…”
He’s not dismissing the idea of doing something, he’s just cautioning her on how they go about doing it. That’s the crux of Neytiri’s most prevalent flaw, it isn’t her becoming angered at the injustice she and her people face, it’s her not being smart about how she acts on it.
The last two moments I’d like to draw attention to are the one where one of Quartich’s lackey calls Neytiri a “wild animal” and the one where she actually acts like one.
For the record, Lyle and Quaritch are in the wrong for likening Neytiri to an animal and dehumanizing her in the process, especially when the reason they insulted her was because she was acting violent in the video where she was protecting her husband. However, it’s undeniable that during the fight on the Sea Dragon, Neytiri is the most violent and rage filled we’ve ever seen her.
It’s particularly noticeable right before she realizes she broke her bow, which is definitely not a coincidence I’ll tell you that much.
She screams in the guys face and stabs him over and over and over again, after which she gets up and starts growling, searching for anything else that moves. It’s not a stretch to say that, in this moment, she’s acting almost like a bloodthirsty animal hungry for vengeance, not too dissimilar from the wild animal the recoms painted her as.
And all of this, her accidentally breaking her father’s bow, being asked to be smart about it all, acting like a wild animal, it all comes to a head in the moment where she uses Spider’s life as leverage to save Kiri’s. It starts off good when she makes Quaritch let Kiri go, but when Kiri is freed from Quaritch’s grasp and she can turn her attention to the man himself…
…she puts the blade back against Spider’s neck and utters those infamous lines:
“A son for a son.”
I’ve seen a lot of people comment on how “powerful” of a scene this is, and while I agree that it’s a powerful storytelling moment and extremely important to Neytiri’s character, I think a lot of people miss the fact that this isn’t an admirable moment of a mother’s rage, but a scary and dark moment where Neytiri is about to fall to Quaritch’s lows.
Because if Neytiri had actually gone through with this decision, then she would’ve done the same thing to her family that she did with her bow — destroy it. What’s important to note about Neytiri’s hatred towards Spider is that; while it’s understandable considering all the trauma she went through at the hands of his father and the RDA, she’s the only one in her family that feels this way towards him.
For one thing, Spider is both Lo’ak and Kiri’s best friend and they know how much Spider hates being Quaritch’s son, there’s no way that they’d just accept Neytiri after she killed their best friend. We don’t get much development on Spider’s relationship with Tuk or Neteyam, but we see Spider protect Tuk, tease Neteyam, and cry during Neteyam’s death, so they must be friends on some level.
And finally Jake. Admittedly, Jake is pretty lukewarm towards Spider throughout the entire movie, but I’d argue that’s him keeping a respectful distance because of him wanting to side with his wife and not any malice Jake genuinely holds towards Spider himself. We even see him checking over Spider at the end of the movie like he does with Lo’ak and Neteyam.
As much as Jake unconditionally loves Neytiri, I cannot see a world where he’s able to look at her the same way if she killed an innocent child.
And I do mean innocent, because at this point in time Spider’s only “crimes” are being human(not his choice) and being Quaritch’s son(also not his choice). Even if Neytiri’s feelings towards him are understandable and valid, her actions at this point are not justifiable and Jake knows it.
That’s not even mentioning how she hisses at Kiri during this scene, she’s not acting with her family’s best interest in mind, she’s acting on pure rage.
If she had gone through with it and killed Spider, Kiri and Lo’ak would hate her, Tuk wouldn’t be able to look at her the same way again, and Jake probably would’ve left her. She truly did come a hair’s width away from destroying something precious to her once again.
Now let’s talk about Spider for a minute because he’s crucial to all of this, as Neytiri’s hatred for humans extends to her hatred of him.
We already know that, to the Na’vi, “I see you” is considered a respectful greeting, but it’s also a show of great understanding between two people; it’s why Jake’s two pivotal emotional moments at the end of the movies are him telling a loved one “I see you,” it’s because he’s come to understand them as a person beyond what he initially thought.
In contrast, Neytiri does not see Spider, her eyes are shut. Instead of seeing Spider as a person, all she sees is just another human who ought to be with his own kind, a demon. And this is honestly fine, Neytiri isn’t Spider’s mother or caretaker so she’s not obligated to try and understand him as anything deeper than her enemies child and her own children’s best friend.
However, because Neytiri refuses to see Spider as anything other than another human, she lets this hatred for him and his heritage fester until she feels comfortable to threaten his life and see him as a means to an end. And that, no matter how much one may argue it’s understandable from her perspective, leads to dire consequences.
Namely, Spider’s choice to save Quaritch.
Now, before anyone yells at me let me clarify — I am not saying that Neytiri is responsible for Spider’s choice, nor is she responsible for any harm Quaritch will cause in the upcoming movies. However, it’s undeniable that her actions influenced Spider’s decision, whether directly or indirectly.
When Neytiri threatened Spider’s life, Quaritch initially plays off the fact that he’s technically not his son, citing that they aren’t even the same species. But when Neytiri pushes even further, he breaks and shows that he does actually care about Spider, willing to let go of his hostage in order to protect him.
This is big for Spider as his only major desire is to have a family, specifically a parental figure who genuinely cared about him as he is. I’d even go as far as to say that this moment probably proved to Spider that Quaritch cares about him as more than just a mean’s to an end. He’d already helped Quaritch bond with an Ikran and find the Sully family(against his will), he had nothing else to offer but Quaritch still wanted him alive.
This, along with the months they spent together, are what pushed Spider to make his decision at the end of the movie, a decision he was explicitly conflicted about.
And this came about from Neytiri’s decision. I know a lot of people would argue that Neytiri had to do this because it was the only way to save her daughter, and I’ll agree that there weren’t many options for her. But this wasn’t a tactical move she was making, she wasn’t bluffing or putting on a show to force Quaritch’s hand, she was explicitly going to kill Spider just to make Quaritch hurt in the same way she was hurting.
Also, if we want to nitpick we could also say that the months Quaritch and Spider spent together also came about as a result of her actions. When they’re running away from the Recoms, Spider is the only one who falls to the ground and Neytiri doesn’t even think to try and go get him.
“B-But there’s no way Neytiri would’ve been able to save him and get away! She has her own children to worry about!” I hear you typing in the notes of this post, and to that I say you’ve got a point.
However, the fact that Neytiri doesn’t even consider going down to rescue him, doesn’t look over the branch and hesitate before making the difficult decision to prioritize Kiri and feel bad about it later shows that her reasoning is solidly NOT rooted in him being one of her kids or not.
She doesn’t even try, and because of that Quaritch and Spider end up forming the basis for a solid bond.
TLDR; Neytiri’s fatal flaw is that she allows her anger and hatred to cloud her better judgment and control her, leading to a destructive attitude that can ultimately hurt the people she loves and make things worse for her.
Now, what does this have to do with her arc going forward?
At this point, I’m pretty sure everyone has heard at least a little bit about the next movie, Avatar Fire and Ash. I’ve seen people theorizing that the fire tribe will be joining forces with the RDA, that they don’t believe in Eywa, and that Neytiri will have to infiltrate the tribe in order to rescue her children.
I’m not certain whether any of this is true, but what I am certain of is that — if these concept arts hold water by the time the movie is released — then the fire tribe we’ll be encountering in the third movie is going to be an extremely violent community, likely one that puts emphasis on anger and hatred.
And if the rumors are true and Neytiri really is going to be infiltrating them, then Neytiri’s flaws might be able to inform what narrative role the Ash People and Varaang in particular will have in the third movie.
I’ve already explained how in depth how her flaw is how she allows her anger to take control of her and close her vision; she’s volatile like lava and burns hot like fire, becoming liable to burn everything and everyone around her.
From that perspective, she seems more suited to be a fire Na’vi rather than a forest or reef one, no? The choice to take us to a volcanic, fire steeped region isn’t just James Cameron checking off the boxes like “oh we did forest and water, fire next!” its him taking us to a we might find uncomfortably befitting of our worst traits.
And that’s basically what I think Neytiri will have to face upon encountering the Ash People — they are the embodiment of all her flaws put on display.
Varaang specifically may work as her narrative foil, a literal funhouse version of her at her worst(from my perspective the concept art of Varaang actually looks a lot like Neytiri, so that’s interesting).
I also think it’s important to note that Neytiri is absolutely going to find out that Spider saved Quaritch in the third movie, or at least it’s incredibly likely if the Ash People really will be working with Quaritch. That means that her hatred for him and her need for revenge will come back into play, this isn’t over.
But this time things will be different, because in between Neytiri learning of Spider’s betrayal she will also get especially close to the Ash People and find that she is uncomfortably similar to them at her worst. Before she does something she might regret, Neytiri will be forced to ask herself some important questions:
Is revenge really worth it? Is this the kind of person she wants to be? If Jake wasn’t there that night, would she have the blood of a child on her hands? Will she hurt other people she loves because of her anger?
These questions are ones she likely never wanted to ask herself, but they’re necessary because she’s starting right in the face of people who didn’t.
Hopefully, she finds that the answer is no.
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trying not to get lost in black myth wukong without a map be like
#yappin#black myth wukong#please give us a map#i am terrible at this#going round n round n round n round n round n rou
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how dare you make such beautiful art you're under arrest
Still have hours ahead of me with this huge wip (this is one half). Have to clarify her hair, the foliage, the ground around her, and most importantly I have to correct the anatomy in her arms… oh yeah and I have to to the complete other half of it where Link is reaching for her and Navi. You’ll catch the finished piece in like a year 🪦🧚✨
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me but botw & aoc & totk ok yeah i hated the hero of the wild era
I know there’s a lot of new totk concepts that have surfaced but I not gonna talk about it cuz every time I talk about totk I feel like I’m killing the vibe. But hey echoes of wisdom out soon
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what i find insanely amusing is how some are allergic to admitting their wrongs and saying sorry. they would rather hurt someone than dropping the ego. apologizing is a relief to people you've been nasty to. it is not humiliating. even if you don't mean it sometimes, just do it if you care.
#yappin#been thinking about past friendships a lot lately#no one likes it when you keep acting the victim btw
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ama my beloved
【 Okami Fanart / a little happiness 】
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i like how black myth wukong reminds me of the okami aesthetic 💭 we need more asian souls like
#yappin#black myth wukong#okami#like#i LOVE the medieval european vibe#but some diversity is nice#i also find asian myths neat
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people treat you like a monster and get surprised when you start to become one. kindness, it seems, doesn't belong.
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My take on Elden Ring & its DLC
Excellent game for most of the reasons mentioned by other players, however I would like to add a little nuance since FromSoftware is visibly immune to the slightest criticism because if we find a fault in their games, it's just that we is bad (no).
It's a real renewal compared to what open worlds usually offer: there is a real interest in exploring because no matter what lost place you discover, you will find at least one interesting item there, if not a hidden dungeon or boss. The map is sufficient in itself; no need for dozens of “?” to alert you that a certain place has something to offer. We don't hold your hand with a HUD saturated with information, which is a real breath of fresh air (Ubisoft's parodies are hardly an exaggeration...).
The artistic direction is unique and really solid: we rarely see settings so beautiful and worthy of a painting. They are also unique, far from the clichés of the forest, winter or fire zone (so yes there are the snowy mountains, but besides that we can find farum azula and caelid). The bosses have designs that are all different and all consistent despite everything (we're not going to talk about the recycled bosses, that said, because it's obvious that it's a lazy choice). The voice acting is very special compared to what we're used to encounter, and yet it's a hell of a job. The use of old english is very immersive.
Now for the negatives. Obviously I will have more things to say since everyone is praising the game. I dislike the fact barely anyone can mention what it does wrong. And since I like to complain, there I go.
FromSoftware should not be immune to critique.
We can't make pause. Just go to a site of grace you'd tell me, but what if there isn't one within range and I can't teleport because of the presence of enemies? Having to let a boss kill you because you have to AFK for five minutes is ridiculous, especially if I put him below half his HP. What about when I'm in a dungeon? Not all corners are secure, even more so when mobs are making rounds. It's not the end of the world, certainly, but it's still a discomfort and honestly I don't care that all Dark Souls are like that. Just because you never wipe your ass doesn't mean it's a good habit.
The next remark is more about the DLC, Shadow of the Erdtree. I thought that in the base game the map was quite readable and easy to navigate when it came to traveling to a new area. But then, the DLC map... A quarter of the information is hidden BELOW what we see on the map. I spent my time looking at the walkthroughs to find this or that place because you simply CAN'T see what's underneath the reliefs. Skill issue some will think, but if you like to spend your time walking along the walls, great good for you and I am happy that having to randomly gallop on Torrent for long minutes/hours fulfills you.
Finally, the quest system. I understand the desire to purify the game as much as possible and facilitate immersion. But, when you've talked to fifteen NPCs in a row, unlocked their quests, and stop playing for several weeks, you're screwed. I think it's a bad choice not to add a quest log, because sometimes it's so complicated and wacky that it's hard to find your way around. I put the game down for a very long time and now, apart from beating up Radagon's ass, I don't know what I was doing. Maybe it worked in Dark Souls, especially because they weren't such big open worlds, but this time it's ridiculous.
Roughly speaking, these are the only three major criticisms I have. They are in no way prohibitive, the game remains EXCELLENT and I highly recommend it to all those who like the challenge, or the highly worked lore. Only, I hope that my criticisms can be heard and, who knows, satisfied one day.
#rant#elden ring#shadow of the erdtree#tbh the first time i played the game i was just roaming aimlessly bc i didnt understand jackshit lol#i was like in a constant state of confusion FSNFSKJ#what really sold me is everything about godrick#boyfailure aura
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next i will probably write about elden ring or the botw/totk games
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