#look I am very much implying that Simon is going to get in on this action

[auspicioustidings]

Bannockburn

Summary: Your boyfriend Johnny has come home in a strange mood, and you are about to get your shit rocked at Bannockburn.

Technically, if you squint, a sequel to Savage set just over 700 years later. Like I will perhaps write a proper sequel at some point, but you can blame Bunny for this one.

Words: 3.6k

CW: CNC, smut, implied character death

You were getting nervous. You were getting really nervous. There were two Johnny’s and you never knew what one you were getting when he came home from a mission. Most of the time you got your Johnny, sweet and loving and tackling you to the bed with a laugh while he showed you how much he missed you. But sometimes whatever happened out on mission got his blood up. Whatever he usually did to get himself settled and out of war mode didn’t take. Sometimes you got the Savage Johnny, the one who heard your English accent and became more animal than man. The one who went into such thick Scots that you hardly understood what he was growling into your ear as he took you. 

Usually you knew what Johnny you had the moment he walked through the door. Not this time. This time he seemed like he was boiling with energy under the surface, but he kissed you nonetheless and ate dinner with you and held you as you slept. When he got you both up and packed into the car the next morning for a trip you had the sense to at least be a little worried. Now, hand held in his as you listened to the guide, you had some inkling that you might be in for it. 

“Now King Edward the second invaded as a result of Bruce’s demand to his people to recognise him as their King. He summoned 25,000 infantry and 2000 horses, the largest ever army to invade Scotland. Bruce only had command of 6000 men.”

You could feel the blood draining from your face as the guide went further into the background of the battle. Around about the time she briefly mentioned how Wallace had been hanged, drawn and quartered, limbs displayed in different cities, just shy of ten years before the Battle of Bannockburn, you absolutely knew what Johnny you had on your hands. And this Johnny? There was nothing you could do to save yourself from this Johnny. This Johnny was taking in every word, ready to punish you for your ancestors' transgressions against his. 

You were trying to pay attention, but your eyes were darting around trying to pinpoint any little nooks that might spell danger if he got you in them. Only that was dangerous in itself, because the first time you felt your attention drift from what was being said Johnny had let go of your hand and moved to instead hold you firm by the back of the neck, fingers massaging a little too hard in warning. That got you to pay rapt attention to all of it, to the whole history of the Scottish wars of Independence as it related to Bannockburn. 

It was strange sometimes, you and Johnny. There were times like now when you would be learning about the history of your countries and it felt like some long forgotten memory. There were times when you met his Lieutenant and swore you knew him from somewhere. Like there was some ancient part of you that trusted them when they fought together to watch each other's backs. No matter what Johnny you got, you held such a deep love for him that it scared you sometimes. Your heart twisted as they described what the battle would have been like for the soldiers, the sights and sounds and weapons. It must have been awful. 

You were stuck on it. Stuck on the image of a Johnny with a sword on the battlefield. That was your mistake, zoning out and just following along when he led you out to the grounds. Only when you had been walking for a while did you realise how far you were getting from the safety of a building full of people.

“Where are we going?”

“Dinae pay any attention at all did ye? Must naw have been interesting tae ye learning about how my people battered yours when they tried tae grind us intae nothing.”

“No, I was paying attention. Of course I was” you said, trying to be meek and quell some of his building fury. 

“Couldnae even hunt a bunny without some English noble claiming it wisnae our right. Punishing us” he ranted before turning to you with a feral look in his eye. “Cannae stop me from hunting one right now though can they? Ye going tae run for me wee bunny?”

Fuck. He looked ready to tear into your throat with his teeth. You felt every bit a prey animal, eyes darting around to find a way out of this. The woods. There were woods here. That was where he had been leading you while you had been busy getting stuck on the idea of him as some ancient warrior fighting to the death. Gillies Hill. The guide had told you about it, how the Scottish had made their camp here. It was where they had attacked from.

And it was where you found yourself sprinting through, heart pounding. Your logical mind knew it was a mistake, you running only meant he could chase. You should have just stayed where you were, tried to talk him down. You were stumbling and tripping, trying to get your bearings as the woods became dense around you. Every snap of a twig or sway of a branch sent you darting away in the other direction until you were shaking from exhaustion and no small amount of mounting terror.

You had never been hunted like this. Johnny had been rough with you before in the warmth of your own home, had fucked you into the bed like he was trying to mould you permanently to him. But this was a different creature entirely. This was the monster under the surface that you only caught glimpses of, that you never thought you would meet face to face. The woods were silent of another human, had you managed to escape him?

“Yer naw even trying little bunny, ye want me tae catch ye is that it? Slut.”

His breath was hot on your ear and you choked on any response you had tried to come up with. How had he gotten right behind you without a sound? You were running again, tripping and scraping your knees but clawing your way back to your feet to keep going. The little summer dress was not suited for this, but at least you were wearing boots. At least Johnny had told you to wear boots this morning. 

It was with a sickening dread that you realised he had planned this. He knew you would be running from him, knew he wanted you in a dress for easy access but boots for fleeing into the woods. At least you knew that your Johnny was still in there somewhere, enough to care about you not breaking an ankle. Not enough to care about breaking you in other ways. 

“Aww wee English princess got her knees all scraped up? All yer kinfolk are going tae ken how ye love getting on them for good Scottish cock when they see the marks. Wee whore down in the dirt fucking gagging on it, crying over how much ye love it.”

You couldn’t properly tell what direction his voice was even coming from. The shame of his words was flooding you with a sickly humiliation that only increased when your body reacted differently to how it should have. When you throbbed with need for him. 

“I’m not! That isn’t what’s happening!”

You were flustered and scared and needy and felt like you were yelling at nothing as you kept catching sight of him on your periphery only to turn and find nobody there. 

“Naw? Slick is practically running down yer plush fucking thighs princess, bet yer clenching down on nothin’. Dinnae even have tae catch ye dae I? Could just wait until ye come crawling tae me, begging me tae claim ye. Fucking pleading for it right here, right where my army celebrated before decimating yours.”

His words sent a shiver up your spine. Out here felt removed from time, it really did feel like you were betraying something by finding yourself drawn to this savage. By imagining that his prediction would prove true, that you’d beg for him. You couldn’t, it would be too much, too shameful. So you kept stumbling through the woods even when the deep tenor of his voice rang through in a mocking little song.

God he had translated this for you once. Told you that brose and butter was a euphemism, that it was about fucking a girl full of cum. It had made you blush and laugh at the time when he playfully sang it over to you now that you understood the meaning, but now? Fuck now it just scared the hell out of you with how the words were tinged with a promise. This was hardly playful, he really meant to hold you down and shove himself inside you out here in the woods where anyone could walk by. 

“We can’t! John please, not here” you pleaded, pausing to try and find where he was. “I… you were gone for months, I’ve not…”

He had made you promise before he left that you’d save yourself for him, wouldn’t even put your own fingers inside yourself while he was gone. And you hadn’t. Fuck you would be so tight now, not ready for him to take you hard. Had he known even then that this was the plan?

“Maiden are ye? Scared it’s going tae hurt, princess? It will, did they naw teach ye that we’re animals? We dinnae treat wee English lassies the way yer own men would. Ye’ll get treated the way ye should, like a fucking whore. And ye’ll take it won’t ye? Ye’ll take it wherever I want tae give it tae ye.”

Fuck, you were starting to slip away to whereever he was. You were starting to feel less like yourself and more like the poor English maiden being hunted by the enemy. The bunny being hunted by the hound. Starting to drift away into pure animal instinct, pure fear and arousal. You could hardly breathe now, feeling tears prick at your eyes.

“Please…” you sobbed quietly, not even sure what you were begging for.

And then he was there, towering over you and wrapping a hand around your throat, thumb beneath your chin to tilt your head and force you to look at him. 

“Wonder whit they’d think of ye begging so pretty for the enemy. Cannae help yerself can ye?” he said, as if fascinated by you, slipping his other hand up your dress and under your panties. “Fucking English slut. Y’er dripping.”

Your reaction to those words was violent and unexplainable. It made your legs shake and your pussy clench painfully hard. It was confusing how much it affected you, causing such a flood of wetness that Johnny noticed, his pupils dilating as he squeezed at your throat and laughed when that made you whimper and claw at his hand. He only kept on squeezing until you were starting to see stars.

“Dinnae fucking move princess.”

The pressure of his hands was gone in an instant and the flood of oxygen made you dizzy. There was no time for you to recover before he was on his knees in the dirt, treating your pussy like it was a mouth and sloppily kissing it over your panties. The press of his tongue was insistent and overwhelming, like he was trying to bully it past the fabric. When he ripped at your waistband with his teeth the lace tore. 

He continued his attack like he truly was a wolf sinking his teeth into a fresh meal, completely ruining your underwear until the mangled scraps fell to the floor and left you bare. Your hands were woven into his mohawk and you tried to pull him away, earning a growl that reverberated into your bones and a heavy handed smack to your ass before he assaulted your clit with tongue and teeth and spit. 

You felt yourself clench so hard that you almost felt nauseous. Fuck. You were trying to keep some sense of self, trying to remember that you were out in public and he was some feral version of the man you loved who was saying horrible things to you and promising he was going to hurt you. But there was a creeping haze taking over, turning you dumb for him. 

It wasn’t even something you had been aware was happening when you came on his tongue. It was just sensation, just the desperate need for more. The primal desperation to be fuller even as he pushed his tongue into your over sensitive hole while your walls fluttered through the pleasure of that high.  

“Please, need you.”

“Aye, that right? Needy wee slut.”

You were too far gone to notice that while he was rough in getting you onto your back in the dirt, one hand was gentle in cradling your head to make sure it landed softly. 

“Use those pretty wee words. Ask me for it the way ye’d ask a good English man.”

Ask me for it the way ye’d ask Simon.

When all you could do was wriggle underneath him and whine he grabbed the neckline of your dress and yanked it down to let your breasts spill out, slapping hard at one and making you howl. 

“They naw teach ye how tae talk proper ye wee slut? Ask fucking nicely.”

“Please, please I want you inside me.”

“Aye, can tell that princess. Whit else?”

“Want you to cum inside me.”

“Good fucking girl, wisnae so hard now was it?”

He didn’t take any of his clothes off, just fished his hard cock from his jeans, hooked your knees on his shoulders and pressed into your wet heat in one fluid motion. You both groaned as he bottomed out. It had been so long, you were so fucking tight around him. 

“M’so full, thank you thank you ,m’yours, need you. Fuck, ah. Made for you, it’s so much” you rambled, incoherent in your bliss. 

“There she is, needed this naw? Needed my cock deep in this tight wee English cunt. Cannae be a person without it, it’s whit ye were made for. Fucking built tae be on yer back with yer legs open for me.”

He stayed like that for what felt like forever, the fullness pushing any coherent thought out of your head. Fuck he was so deep like this, with you nearly folded in half. It felt like you were choking on his dick. You were clawing at the dirt by your sides so hard that you thought your fingers might bleed, but he grabbed your wrists and pinned them above your head before they could.

You were so cock drunk that you were only distantly aware of the look in his eyes now, the almost obsessive adoration as he took in how you looked pressed into the earth like this, dress rucked up from the bottom and pulled down from the top, palm print visible from where he had slapped at you, knees by your ears, hands pinned over your head and yet despite it all so blissed out you were salivating and babbling at him how you needed him.

When he pulled all the way out to the tip and then slammed back home you choked on the wind being knocked right out of you. It only encouraged him as he started to fuck you hard and deep, taking him time to make sure every thrust settled him so incredibly deep inside of you that you were floating. 

“Braw wee creature aren’t ye? Feart of me and gagin’ fer it anyway. Dinnae fash bonnie, gettin’ yer hole proper.”

You knew vaguely that he was close because you could hardly understand what he was saying. You were so unable to do anything in this position, no leverage on your arms and legs that you could use to pull him closer. 

“Inside, need it inside. Please, please ah!” you cried, no shame left in so as you begged like a bitch in heat for him to cum inside you. 

He shifted and sped his pace, nailing that spongy spot inside you that was making your vision black out with every thrust. You’d have marks on you from the buttons and zipper of his jeans. You’d have marks on your throat and your wrists, on your tits. He needed more, he needed anyone to take one look at you and know who you belonged to.

“‘at’s it, take it. Fuck. Good lass” he groaned as he sunk his teeth into your throat and your eyes rolled into the back of your head as you came, clamping down on his cock.

He jackhammered into you, forcing his way in while your pussy tried to force him out. The tight heat of it was too much and he growled and stilled after one more brutal thrust had him cumming deep inside you. He collapsed on top of you, the painful stretch from being folded as you were a delicious burn with the extra pressure forcing you to stretch further. 

You stayed like that for a while, both panting. Only when you were slowly coming back to your senses did you feel a sharp pain in your back from what must have been a particularly jagged stone. Ah, you thought you were probably bleeding on it, feeling something sticky. 

“Bannockburn” you breathed out softly.

The pressure was off of you almost immediately and he let go of your wrists and kneeled up, pulling out with a soft sigh leaving both of you at the feeling. He was quick to tuck himself in before his hands were back on you, gentle this time, fixing your dress and rubbing at all the spots he had marked.

“C’mere bonnie, ye did so well. Hurting anywhere I need tae look at?”

He looked at your back when you told him, laying soft kisses of apology on you as he cleaned it up. You used to tease Johnny for the little first aid kit he always had strapped to the back of his jeans whenever you went out, but it was coming in incredibly handy. Your panties were toast and he sheepishly tucked the remnants of them into his pocket before getting you to unsteady feet. 

“Creeping Jesus, I’ve made a right mess out of ye” he said with a bashful sort of grin, doing his best to try and fix your hair. 

“Hmm, s’ok” you replied, still a little hazy. 

He kissed you soundly and then gave you an absolute squeeze of a cuddle before scooping you into his arms in a princess carry.

“Let’s get ye all tucked up in the car then we can have a bath and dinner when we’re home eh?”

You nodded and nuzzled into his chest to get comfortable. He would take care of you, he always did.

–

John MacTavish didn’t know how he got so lucky. Not any woman would be softly dozing off in his arms after what he had just put you through. Fuck you were beautiful all of the time, but when you were like this? Fucked out and marked up but achingly soft for him in the afterglow? Jesus, he loved you. He would love you forever, through lifetimes. 

He’d explain obviously, he should really have warned you how hard he was going to go, that should have been pre-negotiated. But he had been so wound up. Fucking Simon Riley and his little comments about you, winding him up by putting thoughts in his head about how demure an English man could get you. It should have just made him laugh and shove at him, instead it made his blood boil and his cock hard and he had taken it out on you. You had let him, you always did until either of you thought it wasn’t safe. 

He paused on his way out of the woods with you, considering waking you so you could see the little glade he had come upon. It was pretty as anything, almost felt like hallowed ground with a giant stone right in the middle. Something about it called to an ancient longing within him. Fuck. He wanted to marry you out here. Was that ridiculous? Maybe just post orgasm stupidity.

Still as he settled you in the car and took you home so he could love you properly, he thought maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea.

–

“Fuck, Johnny.”

Simon Riley was an Englishman through and through. Everytime he stepped into battle it was to strike down those who would oppose his King and country. Yet he had left the battlefield. He had tracked into the woods, to where he knew MacTavish had crawled off to die. He found him leant against the stone that sat in the centre of a glade. Of course this is where he would want to die. Not on the battlefield, but here. The place he had married you. The place they both had.  

“Ye come tae watch it for yerself Si?” Johnny said with a laugh that turned to a hacking cough. 

“Course. Been trying to kill you for years, not about to miss it.”

Simon sat next to him, both of them looking at the sunlight filtering through the trees. It was peaceful here. Maybe in another lifetime they would not have been enemies. Maybe in another lifetime they could have been brothers.

“Ye’ll look after her until I can find her again?”

“Always.”

[anxious-witch]

I know, I know we talked about the forest scene with Monty, Edwin and the Cat King to death. But, but. Hear me out.

Edwin was ready to both forgive Monty and thank the Cat King right then and there if they didn't push him, aka crossed a line in the sand for him.

When the Cat King initially informs him of Monty's betrayal, this is Edwin's reaction:

He looks confused, he looks hurt. But he doesn't look angry. Not yet. When he says "Were you just pretending to be my friend" he sounds hurt, but when he sees how Monty is affected, he still looks oddly touched. Especially when Monty says: "At first, yes! Then...no."

I know we joke about Edwin being awful at reading people, but Monty is obviously distressed and Edwin reacts to it. Besides, Monty is his friend. He wants to believe it wasn't all a ploy. But then, Monty makes a fatal mistake and brings up Charles. Immediately, Edwin's expression falls and then it turns angry and says: "Even if it were true, you are a bloody crow!"

We see Edwin forgive Simon, his killer, the person who was responsible for sending him to Hell, in mere minutes, once he finds out why Simon did it. I don't believe for a second he wouldn't have forgiven Monty in a heartbeat if Monty properly explained himself, instead of falling back to his hurt feelings and in turn, trying to hurt Edwin the same way by bringing up Charles. Which is a shame, because they really could have used each other's help.

As for the Cat King, I think it's a very similar story too!

Immediately after Monty walks away, Edwin closes his eyes and says: "I am such an idiot." And the Cat King nods, but you can already see most of the anger Edwin held towards Monty dispersing.

When the Cat King stops him from leaving and says: "I came all the way into this ridiculous forest to save you, I think I am at least owed a thank you," Edwin doesn't seem mad. I'd even go as far as to describe his expression as soft surprise. I think he is thankful, in that moment. And why wouldn't he be? The Cat King did save him from a trap.

It's only when the Cat King brings up a second kiss, implying he should thank him by kissing him, does Edwin grow angry again.

Also, importantly, the way Edwin pushes the Cat King away is almost gentle. Bitchy, and pissed off, for sure, but also gentle. Like, if it was someone who I genuinely didn't want anwhere near me, I'd shove them away by the shoulders, and with much more force. And sure! Edwin isn't a type for violence, but c'mon. We know he is capable if pressed, as seen when Esther hurt Charles.

Edwin keeps his anger tightly locked, only letting it out through his words. He practically spits out "I am not your toy to yank around." But even so, the only tense action we see from his is the way he cocks his head and demingly looks thr Cat King up and down.

Only after the Cat King threatens him, does Edwin get up in his personal space and almost violently(by his standards) shows him the bracelet, saying "This is all that you are. Do you understand?"

My point is, if both the Cat King and Monty essentially told/showed Edwin their actions are somehow tied into his reciprocation of his feelings. Funnily, enough, I feel like if either of them didn't base this interaction on that, and instead rather connected with Edwin emotionally, they would have had a shot at getting exactly what they wanted that night. Monty, Edwin's forgivness and the Cat King, Edwin's thankfulness, perhaps even a sense that he owes him, next time they see each other.

Which is great! Because it shows us sm about the characters, their flaws, and their priorities! But yeah. Talking about shooting themselves in the foot.

I also think that, for all we joke around Edwin holding grudges, he is actually incredible in how quickly he forgives people, as soon as they show the skightest initative for change/goodwill. Part of me hopes he and Monty meet again, just so Edwin can understand his pov, the same way he understood Simon and thr Cat King's but alas. I suppose we'll see

[nile-the-empathy-cleric]

I'm a huge fan of your work, your writing is so beautiful, and the way you add your own personal love of art is just; it's genuinely amazing. I was wondering if you have any paintings that you think each of your favorite characters would represent or maybe even what u see when u look at them. ❤️🖼🎨🖌

Oh boy do I love this ask! Firstly, than you 🥺 you're too kind 💕

Second I have so many paintings that spring to mind for various characters! Immediately off the bat my brain went right to Lestat and how his presence and aesthetic (especially in 1920s New Orleans) gave gigantic J.C. Leyendecker vibes.

(left) The Sleuth J.C. Leyendecker, ca. 1906 and (right) Arrow Shirt Collar Ad, 1916. By J.C. Leyendecker For Arrow Shirt Collars, 1916

The way Leyendecker plays with shadow, light, and color to project an air of seduction and power is just *chef's kiss.* He is a master at depicting an idealized masculinity that still has a level of vulnerability. I don't think it's just the styling/ fashion of the men in Leyendecker's illustrations that remind me of Lestat, but the features as well. J.C. gives them this attitude of nonchalance but there's something deeply concerned with appearances underneath. Is that not Lestat?

For Claudia there are a couple. First (not a painting but a sculpture) is Degas' The Little Dancer Aged Fourteen. I look at this piece and think of the history of ballet and the connotations of ballet at the time Degas was working. In France at the time ballerinas were highly taken advantage of and exploited. The exploitation was sexual in nature and simultaneously adultified and infantilized. They were highly fetishized. It's very sad and tragic and it reminds me of Claudia. The Little Dancer has an almost defiant energy to her, like there is a sense of pride and restraint, something dignified despite her lesser social standing.

I also see something of Claudia in this piece: Girl in Pink Dress, ca. 1927 by Laura Wheeler Waring. I also think this girl embodies the qualities of both Bailey and Delainey's Claudias–– there's simultaneously an innocence and maturity. I see something similar in Isabella, (aka Young Woman with a Fan), 1906 by Simon Maris and I just think it's neat to see art of Black people done by a white person from the early 1900s that isn't fetishizing or racist (don't look at J.C. Leyendecker's art of Black people, yikes!)

For Louis, my first thought was Derek Fordjour's STRWMN, 2020. It gives NOLA Louis to me in terms of style, but also the colorful and fun energy has the vibes of his little journey of gay self-discovery in Paris. I also see Louis in Lois Mailou Jones' Negro Youth, 1929. It mirrors depressed Louis for me. There is something very fragile in his expression, but you can tell he's trying to be strong, much like Louis.

As for Armand? Well, the number one is Botticelli's Saint Sebastian (it just has an uncanny resemblance to Assad) and the metaphor is too apt to not point out. The other that immediately make me think of Armand is The Abduction of Ganymede by Correggio. It's less the painting and more the myth it's based on, but out of all the Ganymede paintings, Correggio's is my favorite.

And Daniel is just like... any Nan Goldin photo, but I'll pick Heart-shaped bruise, 1980. I don't think I need to give my thoughts here 😂

Thank you again for such a fun ask! I appreciate every message I get from anons and mutuals alike 🥰

[*Edit: Being transparent––I went back and corrected a mistake I made in the original because I don't want an inaccurate/ racist post going around, even after a correction in the reblogs if people aren't seeing the original. I accidentally implied that Laura Wheeler Waring was white. I meant the statement about Simon Maris, who was a Dutch portrait artist. Laura Wheeler Waring was a prominent Black artist. Lesson to self: do not write deeply thoughtful posts at 1 am while you have a fever.]

[eydi-andrius]

Fool Entire IV

warnings: verbal abuse, implied attempted r*pe, abuse of power, physical violence

Synopsis

If someone asked you who Prince Aemond was in your life, you probably would have said the love of your life.

Years have passed but still your heart yearns for him.

But you were no fool.

It was a lesson learned for you not to give your heart to a man who knows nothing but duty.

a/n: it's been a while huh? well it turns out i've already written chapters for this story and completely forgot about them. And yes, it was him with his slutty walk that made me check my WIPs for Aemond. 😂 Anyway! ENJOY! or I guess??? 🤺 It's also 3AM and I can't sleep. Augh!

Part III here.

🌿🌿🌿

"Then go." Simon replied nonchalantly.

"Did you even hear what I said?" You grimaced when he did not think twice giving you an answer to the questions you have been beating yourself to answer and choose from.

"I did." He said looking around.

"Then why did you recommend that I go back to court? You know how much I suffered." With a huff, you crossed your arms and glared at him.

"Little lady…. It is because, without a doubt, that you were born to be a noble lady. Tell me…how many times has someone been banished to a life full of riches for them to have an opportunity to go back without marrying? None." He also crossed his arms and glared back at you as he explained how his answer was the best one. He looks absolutely sure. And here you thought he would be the one to tell you not to.

"And based on your story, you were not going back as someone's fiance. I believe it is a win." He continued.

"How about my business then-"

"Nah uh. Once you become a noble lady again, you'll have more resources to use for it to grow. Think about it. Create your own wealth so if something happens and you were banished again, you'll have your own power. You will not go back to this slum. And your sister will be away from danger. Once an opportunity arises, you must seize it. Not everyone can get a second chance. Hear thy advice from a former mercenary. Seize it!" He squeezed his palm into fist and raised it in the air.

You can't help but chuckle on his antics and he bowed in front of you like an actor ending a play. Sometimes you cannot understand how he can act this way in a serious conversation.

"But I am serious, I won't be able to protect you always, especially now that I am having a child. I know how hard you thrive on your own and how much you have worked for you and your sister's life. However, we must know when to take chances when they show themselves. I admit that I worry about you. You are like a little sister of mine and I am saying this for your safety. Think about it." He gave a soft smile and tapped your nose.

In annoyance, you huffed and scrunched your face in disgust. How can an old man try to act adorable. He always does this when you look too serious and he usually follows the gesture with a…

"Alas! You're too young to worry too much about those things every time, so how about we move forward?" You can't help but roll your eyes. Simon will always be Simon. He is so predictable but you can always rely on his strength.

"Sister!" Your head snapped at the voice who called you and your eyes softened when you could see your sister sparkling with excitement at a fabric stall. The place looks dark for an afternoon. As if it was intentionally dimmed.

You smiled and went to her direction, followed closely by Simon.

"Look at it! The blue fabric glows in the dark!" She chirped and immediately showed you how beautifully the blue hue of the fabric looks, like the stars in the night. Glowing majestically from a gloomy night. It was gorgeous and you can't help but touch it. The fabric was soft, just like how you imagine clouds would feel, if you touch them. It is one of a kind and you can't help but be awed at how this cloth existed.

"Beautiful isn't it? The dye came from the ocean, while the fabric was loomed in a very certain way, making it so soft to the touch. You can only find that fabric available in our shop." The owner looks smug as he explains how they have gathered the needed materials for the said fabric. On how they made the cloth be so soft and how the dye looks so much alive, rather than just a glowing color at night.

"How much is it?" You asked, gulping nervously. Most of the time when owners introduce something this detailed the price will probably be something you can't afford.

You winced when he told you how much it was. The owner's face soured and shouted your party away as he saw how your face changed. He probably thought you and your sister were rich for having Simon around and also for having better clothing than the others in here. Of course, Simon did not back down without shouting his curses as well and calling the owner a bald bastard. You did your best to apologize but his mocking became too much and it was Simon who dragged you two away from the snobbish business man.

"Hah! That fabric is probably fake! That bald man really thought he could swindler us." Simon remarked bitterly as he copied how the business man introduced his product to you and your sister.

"Well, the fabric was truly beautiful and he seemed proud of it. It was our fault for not asking how much first. We wasted his time." You convinced him, but your tone still hurt by what happened.

"Oh don't start with that! That's the reason why you shouldn't be here at all. You become street smart, yes. But you still can't help putting logic on other people's bad behavior. If you know you're putting a new item for sale, you shouldn't treat your customers awfully for not being able to afford it. That was probably fake. Remember that." He rolled his eyes and walked in front of you and your sister with a frown. Your sister just giggled at you and you gave her a smile.

"I guess, we should continue and focus on our task at hand." With a deep breath, you opened the list of what you needed to buy and directed your company on what to do for today's leg work.

The afternoon sun was harsh as it beats you strolling around the market. Sweats build on your forehead and you can't help the amount of times you need to ask Simon for a break. You haggled, checked for new suppliers and searched the market for potential competitors like you always do to make sure you're top notch and following the trend. It helps a lot looking for new customers.

Once the shopping was done, you three decided to visit the brothel for refreshments. You'll just pay the girls there rather than here at the market.

However, there seems to be some sort of commotion. There were tons of people outside and you excused your way to see what was going on. You let out a horrified gasp when you saw bits of wood from broken tables and chairs. It was scattered everywhere. Looking around you saw the mistress, sitting in front of the door, dirtied and bruised. You ran towards the mistress and kneeled in front of her, asking her what happened. You helped to sit her on a chair that was brought out by one of the girls. She held her head. Her right cheek was swollen, eyes filled with fear. She looks pale too.

"Who did all of this!?" Simon yelled as he checked the damage and went inside the brothel.

Mysaria's business is protected not even by her connections but also by the Rouge Prince, Daemon Targaryen, so who in their right mind would do something so terrible and be bold.

"Are you feeling better?" You immediately handed over the goblet of water your sister brought to give to the mistress. You helped her tip over the cup and you told her to drink slowly. As you look closely, the red was starting to form like someone's hand, indicating that someone must have hurt her.

"You shouldn't be in here." Once she swallowed the water, she looked at you and grabbed your arm. Her eyes wide with worry.

"They're looking for you."

"Who?" Your heart beat faster and you can only think of someone who might be looking for you. His familiar back and silver hair flashes in your memory. Could it be possible that he found your connections with Mysaria already?

"They're back. The nobles who were looking for you to make you their slave." The horror in your face were visible and the fear you first felt about these people being Aemond were replaced with disgust and anger.

"How could they be so bold attacking Mysaria's place just to find a mere vanished lady?" You stood up and yelled. You can hear Simon and the other guards telling the outsiders to leave as they need to clean up the place.

"The Rouge Prince were removed as the head of the Night's Watch. He was banished by the King himself. And now, the position was empty. And those nobles with higher power acts like they own the place.

Is there really a time you could truly find peace?

"Go home. We can handle this. We did not say anything to them. The girls and I like you too much to let them find you. Go!" Before you can protest, one of the girls gives you two cloaks and pushes you away from the brothel. One of them dragged Simon out and she specifically told him to protect you on your way home.

The walk was quiet and tense. You can't help looking around you as you used another route to go home. The only time you stopped panicking was when Simon touched your shoulder and told you to breath. You did not realize you were holding on for a long time now. With worry, your sister called your name, held your hand and squeezed it to reassure you that you two will be safe.

While you do trust their words, it wasn't in your power to stop yourself from the trauma you suffered days after you were banished from the Red Keep.

You can't trust no one. Especially, the night guard's who known you to be Aemond's fiancé. You thought everyone liked you in court, that's why they were nice to you. But you were naive and only realized it a moment too late, when they were chasing you in the forest like a rabbit being hunted by wolves. They teased, cursed and insulted you as they do their best to locate you. They did not mention anything but you know they were planning to do some awful things to you. You were like a precious commodity that suddenly dropped in value and the fascination to have a taste of the person the Prince had, was an exotic opportunity for them.

You remembered the cold, your wet clothes from rain sticking on you like a second skin. Everything hurts and you were in pain but not a single thought about stopping from running crossed your mind. You cannot go home or else they will hurt your sister. So you did your best to get as far from home and lose them. You run before dawn and now you can see the sun peaking slowly above. You look behind you and you are sure you can't hear their voices anymore. You have to look for a way to go home now and get back. They probably got tired or maybe they got lost. But the most important thing was to meet your sister. You stepped towards a branch and the leaves gave way and you fell down towards a cliff. The area you stepped into had no land. It was a facade. Like a trap from nature. You did your best to shield your head from the impact and braced yourself as your body hit a tree. Your right arm was painful and your vision was spotted with black dots. Slowly, you don't know if it was because of the pain, hunger or exhaustion but your body succumbed to sleep but in your head, you forced yourself to stand up.

The moment you woke up, the smell of cooking meat woke you up. The fire crackles as it stirs the juicy part of the boar. It smells heavenly.

"Oh! Thank the Gods, you're awake. I thought my journey will be with me digging a grave for a dead body." The man wearing pleated armor and a sword looked at you, from his place sitting in front of the grilling meat.

You only widened your eyes and choked words as you panicked and did your best to move but failed as your body feels like it came from death.

"Woah! Woah! You don't have to worry. I am a stranger but I do not plan to hurt an injured lady. As you can see on my clothes, I am a mercenary and I'm on my way home to the capital when I saw you, almost dead in here. I gave you some medicine for the pain but it will take a while to work. I also bandaged the places I could. I don't have enough things so it is better for us to go to the capital once you are numb." He explained and as much as you do not trust him, he seems sincere to what he just said.

"Why are you in the middle of the forest, anyway?" He asked, curious and confused. He probably knew by now or at least for you, you think it was impossible for a lady to be alone in the forest but since he already checked your injuries, he knew you fought well.

You tried to swallow but there's no words coming out of your mouth. You looked at his container and he understood what you meant right away. He moved towards you and asked for your permission first before helping you out.

Once he tipped the body of his bottle, crisp water comforted your parched and wounded throat. It was heaven despite coughing a bit from the change of dry throat from cold water.

"Easy easy." He warned and you blinked in acknowledgement.

"I'm sorry. I was being chased by the night guards and ended here." You explained and his chill demeanor turned cold right away.

"Those bastards?" He asked. Voice gritty in anger.

"I can't believe they were trying to chase a girl to rape her. Did they not cut off all the cocks the past moon due to rape? Disgusting cows!" His forehead flexed in annoyance and veins started popping out from it. He looks angry, no, furious, as he yelled and cursed the golden cloaked protectors of the realm.

"Here drink this again. I hope this medicine works fast so we can leave here. I'm scared that those disgusting creatures will look for you again. They surely like being in power and abusing it. My darling almost fell victim of it so I promise that you can trust me." He looks serious and firm so all you did was nod and you did not hesitate to have his help.

You usually do not trust someone this fast anymore but there was something truthful and raw from his story. As if yours, even though a bit different, hit close to his experience.

And days after, you found out his name was Simon and her lover was once being taken advantage of those gold cloaked bastards.

He was seething as he told you what happened and you just stared at him the whole time. Somehow, you were grateful that the first one to help you can be a friend and an ally.

Years pass by and your friendship with Simon and his wife, flourished and you treat them like a family.

"Do not open your doors when you don't hear our secret knock. Also, make sure to make your place look like no one lives here. Stay at the back of the house near the other exit for the meantime and if you can live below for now. We are not sure if we can even trust your neighbors. I'll make sure to send food and the things you need." His grip on his sword tightened and you held his hand to stop him from hurting himself.

"I am grateful to be your friend, Simon. We will listen to you". You smiled unsure but you felt his tightened your hold for comfort and he breathed deeply.

"Be safe. I will make sure that they will not find you and the slums will vomit the likes of them. You are part of us now and we will protect you. "With a nod of understanding, Simon left and you and your sister were left by yourselves.

~~~~~

Simon kept his promise in taking care of the two of you as you laylow. You also got ahold of Mysaria and she told you to listen to Simon as she is too faraway to help. It seems like the blow of the fight between the Prince and the King kept Mysaria's power in question especially since she was asked to runaway with him. All she could do was say yes and do her best to appease the Rouge Prince to not kill and destroy her power that she established by herself.

Your sister did your best to entertain you and not mourn the hindrance that stopped your business. She had told you stories she heard, the things she learned and did her very best to take your mind off the worry. You were happy that she was doing her best and it did take your mind off the worry and you focused on learning more on how you can improve your business in Isolation.

However, it was way too peaceful. Sooner or later, something will go wrong. You just don't know when it will happen. So you pray. You pray to the Mother for protection. Hoping that she won't let her daughters of faith be harmed. Like she always has done for you for the past moons

[captain-mj]

Changling!Ghost attempting to court Selkie!Soap before ditching google and asking Soap's mom.

Hell yeah, love it! I also have the next part of this story already planned and ready to go so hope you guys are enjoying it

Ghost checked the time. Currently 4 am. The screen he was on now was an article of Selkies in Scottish folklore.

After reading about how selkies were sexually dominated by those that stole their coats for the dozenth time, he gave up. Every article held pretty much the same thing. An explanation of how men would force the female selkies to be their brides through their coat or how male selkies would have human families they’d see for a while before leaving. Several stated that once a selkie went to sea, they wouldn’t be seen for seven years and he needed to make sure that wasn’t true because he thought he’d go mad if Soap disappeared from him. 

Ghost set his head down. He wished he could sleep, but alas, it was evading him tonight. It’s why he decided to get some research done. Originally, it was to help him court Soap, but he had gotten a bit lost in the stories. 

There were clear distinctions he could make out. Everything before a certain painted selkies as malevolent or benevolent, some even implying there evil. Then the weird sexual stuff. Then when the catholics came and they could be healed by baptism. Considering Soap was very much still here, that wasn’t true. 

There was nothing on courting. Nothing. Just take their coat and force them. He didn't want that.

He checked the time and did the math. Because of the timezone difference it would be 8 where Soap's mom lived.

Ghost called her before he could second guess himself.

"Hello?" She sounded so soft spoken. Her accent just as thick as Soap's though.

"Hi. This is... Ghost? Soap may have called me Simon."

"Oh. I was waiting for your call. I have to say, I appreciate how safe you keep my son." Her voice grew to a whisper and it was clear she was moving around.

"Yes, of course. I'd do anything for him." He had been honest with Soap about one thing and that's that he really did want her to like him.

"Good. I will admit, I was worried when he said he planned to not tell you. Selkies are sensitive, especially my son." There was a threat right under the surface. "So why are you calling?"

"I want to know how to court him. Properly."

"..."

Ghost stared at the wall ahead of him and shoved himself through one of the most excruciating sentences of his life. "I've been looking into it, but I'm not good at human romance, let alone this. I want... Soap to be my husband and I want to be a good husband back."

"..."

Ghost gritted his teeth and bore the silence for a few minutes before finally getting an answer.

"Did you feel this way before seeing his coat?"

"I've felt this way a while, ma'am."

He swore for a moment he heard her sniffle. "Good. Good. I'll help you, okay? First, please disregard anything you've seen online."

"Already did. They mostly just suggest taking his coat or chasing him."

"Chasing comes later, doing that so early on is seen as tacky and too forward." She explained while Ghost felt a blush creep up on his face. "Right now, you need to prove yourself to be a good mate. Little difficult considering your jobs, but prove you're useful. If you were a selkie, I'd suggest hunting bu-"

"I hunt." Ghost interrupted. "Mostly deer. Would that... work?"

"Excellent. Yes. Bring him food and shiny objects. Also, wear your arms bare more."

"Why?" That didn't make much sense.

"Because Soap likes your tattoos. And your arms. I love my son very much, but I didn't need to know your measurements or how much you can lift. Congrats on getting to 275 on bench presses by the way. According to Soap, that's very impressive."

Ghost had turned bright red under his mask. "Thank you."

She laughed softly before humming. "Can you do something for me and not ask why?"

"Sure."

"Say you're doing this to control him."

Ghost paused and went to ask why before stopping. "I'm doing this to control Soap."

"Thank you. Good luck." She hung up on him.

He decided to brush it off, sure she asked for a good reason. 

So Ghost took her advice and bought him a handful of pens that glittered. Soap held them to his chest and blushed. “Thank you.”

Ghost nodded, staring at him. The next time he went to eat, he noticed Soap had given him some extra food. He immediately looked for him, seeing him talk to Gaz. Something warm spread through his chest before he fled to his room to eat. 

Soap visited him after a while and sat with him, talking casually. 

“You want to come with me on our next leave?” Ghost asked suddenly. “I have a cabin in Canada I go to occasionally.” 

Soap stared at him for a minute, clearly thinking. “I’m sorry, ask me that again.” 

“I have a cabin in Canada. It’s only an hour by foot from a coast too.” He looked at Soap who was still processing. 

“I thought you had a flat in Manchester?”

“Yeah, I do. But I have a cabin I hunt at. It’s pretty nice.”

“And you’re inviting me. To stay there. For a week. Alone. In the woods.” Soap leaned forward as he talked.

“Yes. You and me.” Ghost nodded. 

“Okay. Yeah. I’ll go.” Soap said softly.

-

“How much further?” Soap groaned at him. They had gotten off the plane maybe thirty minutes ago. The cab had driven them as far as the road went and now they had been trekking for maybe ten minutes.

“Stop being a baby.”

Soap groaned more. “Do we have to do this every time we need anything?”

“Yep.”

“I’m regretting this already. I think my feet are going to fall off.”

“We’ve walked way more than this for a mission!” Ghost didn’t understand, turning to look at him. There was a lot of snow... And he didn’t really prepare Soap as well as he could’ve.. 

He noticed that Soap’s face was completely red from the cold. He assumed he’d be immune to the cold, but he supposed without his coat, he was just human. 

Ghost moved closer. “Sorry.”

Soap blinked and stared up at him. His eyes were so big. Ghost really, really like them. 

He took off his mask and grabbed Soap’s face, very gently holding. If hypothermia had set in, rubbing would cause the ice crystals in his skin to tear. Once he thought Soap was a little more warmed up, he moved closer, gently rubbing now to make sure there was plenty of blood flow. Soap was still really red though which was concerning. 

Soap stared at him, a lot more aware of their proximity than Ghost. “Simon?” His breath made clouds but Ghost’s didn’t. It was an odd thing to notice, but they both did. 

Ghost slipped his ski mask over Soap head, tucking in carefully. “There. I don’t really get cold. I’ll carry your bag.” He took it from him and started trekking again. Soap grabbed his arm and followed. Maybe he leaned in a bit too much, making it hard for Ghost to walk, but Ghost wasn’t going to say anything. 

Finally they got there and Soap collapsed on the couch. Ghost turned the heat on and sat with him. He took off both their gloves and did the process he remembered for warming someone up. Start with the extremities. Ghost hummed softly. 

Soap pulled off the mask and tossed it on the table. “You gave me your mask.”

“Yeah, I was worried. Your face was super red.” He continued rubbing Soap’s hands until they felt warm. Ghost hummed. “I’m not rubbing your feet. You can just lose some toes.” 

Soap laughed. “Alright. Understood.” He moved a little closer. “This place is... To be honest, I was expecting a shack.” 

It really was a nice place. Two stories, big lofty rooms and mostly wood from the looks of it. “I’m a little insulted. But I like space. Plus no one can be hiding anywhere.” 

Soap laughed. “Paranoid as always, huh, Lt?” 

Ghost shrugged. “There’s a spare room. I know we’re married and all but...”

“I’ll be staying in the spare room for now.” Soap said quickly, blushing as he looked away.

Ghost nodded and showed him where it was. “Before you ask, there is a hot water heater and it lasts for hours. Unlike the one on base.”

“You’re making me a very happy man, Simon Riley.” Johnny smiled at him. 

Simon tried not to vibrate out of his skin. “I’m going to bring you so many deer.”

“What?”

[zabala0z]

Welcome back to “I’m listening to season 2 of The Magnus Archives and yeah it’s official, season 2 is currently my favorite season”

Surprisingly some tamer episodes. By tame, I mean I didn’t shriek and pause every 5 minutes. Though some characters popped up again which I was excited about like yay reoccurring characters!

MAG 48:

Not much to note. But Gerard Keay appearance! Or maybe appearance since the man didn’t give a name but come on, he had long black hair, that’s Gerard. I was pretty happy he helped out Andrea. Like it’s clear Gerard knows some stuff but he doesn’t use his knowledge to harm people, he uses it to help them and for that, I am so thankful there’s one character in confident in. Okay not confident. I don’t wanna say anything or God forbid, someone is going to die or get “replaced”

He also said she was marked, whatever that means. I’ll prob figure it out later

MAG 49: The Butchers Window

All Pryor wanted to do was to get that bag 🫡 Also Jared Hopworth appearance! Low key I forgot about him until the name Jared was mentioned and then I was like “oh that’s that weirdo from the bone turners tale”. I had to read over the transcripts from that to refresh my memory and man, he was a shithead from the beginning. Also I like the signs showing of him testing his power like on that deflated rat (which might’ve been his pet?? It was implied the rat looked like a pet so I’m assuming it was Jared) and maybe his mom. Also totally screwed up that he (presumably on my end) killed Sebastian. Like they were childhood friends man 💀

But I find it hilarious that he used his power to steal bones from other people and make himself as tall and buff as possible.

MAG 50: Foundations

Not much to note. I usually zone out more during the old timey statements but I got the general idea. Robert Smirke appeared again, I’m wondering what’s his deal. They say his buildings have a higher percentage of supernatural occurrences and he was rumored to have suspicious religious values so my theory is that he did some deal with something and now his buildings are just fucking like that. Also he said like “Balance, Equilibrium. The hardest thing for an architect to achieve. Symmetry is easy, but does not, in and of itself, result in balance. To stir, yada, yada” so this guy is already a little weird.

Also Tim congratulating Jon is the funniest thing ever wtf. “Don’t worry, I’m cool. 😏😏😏 good luck boss” like god. I mean supportive friend???? I guess??? 😭

MAG 51: High Pressure

God I hate the ocean. On another note, Simon Fairchild is back. When Jon said the case number, I had to go through the transcripts to figure out when he appeared before (thankful I understand the very confusing system) and he was in Freefall!

Anyways, looking back, this guy is definitely evil. This like 85 year old has evil schemes to make people go through an open area of sky or ocean like bro. In Freefall, the instructors name was Harriett Fairchild so I’m assuming she was in on it or like related to him. For gods sake, Simon said to Robert, “enjoy sky blue” like this man is a bastard. He knew what was happening. And he did say something to Antonia before he went down which I’m gonna assume “enjoy ocean blue” or shit like that. I hate him. And it’s definitely not because I hate being alone and open spaces.

Also another thing to note; fake Sasha. She’s been staring at that table. Jon described it as a fractal and she described it as a web. Both things that have been brought up a couple times in this podcast. I had to search up fractals to figure out what it was. That one guy I think in “Burned Out”, his dad was super obsessed with fractals. I don’t know how it ties into the plot but they do in some way. Also Gerard Keay made that eye painting that was described to get more intricate and minuscule which I think is a fractal?? Again, I have no idea.

Jon said “Sasha” has been going to a wax museum during her extra long lunch breaks. I got no theories why because what. Although it’s interesting because wax museums are replicants of real people most of the time and whatever that replaced Sasha is a replicant of a real person. So. Yeah no idea.

Anyways, I think that’s everything! They were some pretty calm episodes compared to the last couple ones which I’m grateful for

[roomwithanopenfire]

Six Sentence Sunday

(still with no banner) Tysm @you-remind-me-of-the-babe for the tag!!!

I've been having a bit of a creatively dry week, with what feels like a lot of school work to do, but it's actually not any more than normal, I'm just over it. So, I haven't gotten very much writing done this week.

However, I've still been slowly chipping away at my Natasha Pitch Lives + Simon Rescues Baz + sad angsty vampire hurt/comfort fic (I really need a more straightforward title 😭). I swear, this thing keeps getting longer and longer (I am incapable of writing anything other than the slowest of burns).

It's so hard to choose snippets of this to share, because nothing really feels ready yet, but here's a little bit from closer to the beginning. It's a younger Baz's POV.

“What are vampires anyway?”

My mother somehow sat even straighter in her chair and pursed her lips together. 

“Vampires are dark creatures.” My father said carefully. “They are evil.”

“But I’m a vampire?” I asked.

My father looked towards my mother to answer this question of mine.

“Basil,” She said harshly. “You cannot say that. What if someone were to hear you? You cannot tell anyone about that. Vampires are evil and bad. Do you understand that, Basil?”

“Am I?” I asked. “Are you what?”

“Evil and bad.”

“If you act like a vampire, yes. Now go play outside.”

Look I said Natasha was alive, not that she was nice

And then I'm still working on my Stranger Things Ronance fic. Snippet from the chapter that I'm supposed to post tomorrow under the cut.

“Do you want to be girlfriends?” Robin asked.

Nancy blushed. “Well, yes. I thought that was implied.”

“I suppose the love confession slash I-would-kill-for-you-Robin-Buckley confession covered it,” Robin laughed, before turning, putting on a more serious expression. “Would you, Nancy Wheeler, do me the honor of becoming my girlfriend?”

Here's hoping I can actually get this chapter ready for tomorrow. I've been procrastinating like crazy (on both this and my schoolwork 😭)

I still feel kinda like the world's newest fandom member when I tag people but like 🙈

@run-for-chamo-miles @facewithoutheart @raenestee @artsyunderstudy @onepintobean @shrekgogurt @prettygoododds @rimeswithpurple and (for the ronance snippet) @sweetronancer

[theradicalscrivener]

Trevor: Friends and Coworkers

Noah's quarantine is coming to an end. He's excited to go live with Simon, but there's something he wants to do first... if he can get through to his cute coworker.

(P.S. Ya boi's got Linktree and Bluesky now)

[First Chapter] || [Previous Chapter] || [Next Chapter]

“So… we’re not under observation right now, are we?” Noah asked. Even had they not been on separate tables, Noah was so small that had it not been for the collar he had created, it would have been impossible for Julio to hear him.

Julio glanced up from the screen he was looking at and glanced over in Noah’s direction. “All recent diagnostics have been favorable. They’re going to let us go home tomorrow,” Julio replied.

“Well, yeah, but I mean. We’re not being watched right now, are we?” Noah asked. There was a nervousness to his tone that would be obvious to most but was lost on Julio.

“If there’s anything, it’s standard lab surveillance. Security cameras and the like to make sure nothing is taken, but all wellness exams are on hold for the time being,” Julio explained.

“Yeah. That’s great and all, but… if we were to… have a little fun, no one would have to know, right?” Noah asked.

“No more than usual, I suppose. What did you have in mind? I’m not as much a gamer as you are, but I can still use my phone well enough and there’s a few games on there,” Julio replied.

“Look… you’re into guys, right?” Noah asked.

“Yes,” Julio replied.

“And I’m into guys,” Noah replied.

“Correct,” Julio replied.

“So… I’m saying we could be into guys together,” Noah said.

“Right, and I said I have access to my phone. There are plenty of videos we could watch,” Julio replied.

Noah paused for a moment to consider this. At his size, a phone screen would be like an IMAX. It probably would be a lot of fun to watch porn like that, however… “I was thinking something a bit more hands on…” Noah replied.

“Explain,” Julio said.

“Please. I know you’re slow on the uptake, but even you can’t be that dense,” Noah pleaded.

“I think I know what you are implying, but I’ve misread cues before. If I’m wrong here then… let’s just say the implications would be awkward for both of us,” Julio explained.

Noah buried his face in his hands and let out a stifled scream. “I just want to play with someone’s dick, OK! I’ve been this size for almost a week and haven’t gotten any action!” he cried.

“Simon will be by tomorrow to pick you up. It sounds like you’ll be getting plenty of opportunities then,” Julio replied.

“Yeah, but he’s huge! And I don’t just mean height! I’ve heard the rumors. I’ve seen his bulge! I’m… honestly a little worried it’d be overwhelming to see it! Like… I want to experiment a bit before I try to take on that!” Noah explained.

“Trevor is much smaller, and he’d be more than happy to let you practice on him,” Julio replied.

“Ok. Now you’re just deflecting! I’ve been flirting with you since before we shrunk! Why can’t you just reciprocate a little!” Noah whined.

“Well, I mean, I didn’t want to assume…” Julio murmured.

“That’s why I am telling you! You’re hot! I’m into you! I’ve seen you checking me out too! You’re awkward as hell but also very sweet when you let your guard down!” Noah shouted.

“Are you angry?” Julio asked.

“Just frustrated, really. I’ve been wanting to get through to you for ages now,” Noah replied.

“Ok, but why me?” Julio asked.

Noah once again buried his face in his hands and muffled a scream and then took a beat to try and calm himself before continuing, “I’ve had a bit of a crush on you since we first met, and being coworkers has given me time to get to know you a bit better. I actually really like being around you!” Noah shouted.

“I like being around you too…” Julio said.

There was an awkward silence. Something in the way Julio’s words trailed off made it seem like he had more to say and given how rare it was for Julio to not say what crossed his mind, this left Noah desperate to hear more.

“Is there… something else?” Noah prodded.

“Yes…” Julio replied. There was another maddening silence. Noah felt like he was going to lose his mind, but before Noah could scream into his hands again, Julio managed to speak up.

“As I’ve said. I’m not really worried about being shorter, but neither was I particularly interested in getting shrunk. A few inches is nothing, really. It wouldn’t change much for me,” Julio said.

“A few inches? You lost like five feet!” Noah scoffed.

“Correct. It’s an unexpected outcome but not a bad one. However, unlike you, I didn’t volunteer to get shrunk. I volunteered to observe you,” Julio explained.

“Yeah. You said as much. You wanted to observe the changes firsthand,” Noah replied.

“Incorrect.” Julio replied.

“W-what?” Noah yelped.

“There was not originally going to be someone on site as an observer. As you know, the effects are proximity based and have no effect on inorganic matter. The original procedures were to have it all monitored remotely, but since you were doing something experimental and potentially dangerous, I volunteered to stay close in case something went wrong,” Julio explained.

“Oh… so… you did it just so you could protect me?” Noah asked.

“I did it so I could be on hand if to help you if something went wrong,” Julio replied.

“That’s the same thing!” Noah protested.

“Is it…?” Julio asked.

“Semantics aside, why didn’t you tell me!?” Noah asked.

“If I told you before, you might have called it off. If I told you after, you might have felt guilty for what happened,” Julio explained.

“Well… maybe! But I also might have sucked you off sloppy style!” Noah replied.

“Explain,” Julio replied.

“You’re right. I might have called it off had I known you only volunteered just for my sake, but you were willing to do something life-changing and, as you put it yourself, potentially dangerous just to look out for me. That’s really sweet,” Noah said.

“Oh…” Julio replied.

“And… I’m glad to know you were looking out for me, and… I’m kind of glad you shrunk with me… Well, rather… I’m glad you’ve been here in quarantine with me. I think I would have gone insane being cooped up like this alone,” Noah explained.

“I wouldn’t have let you stay here alone. Even if I hadn’t shrunk, I would have stayed with you,” Julio replied.

Noah let out another whine, but this one was less frustrated than the previous ones. “I need you to come pick me up,” Noah said suddenly.

“Hmm?” Julio asked.

“Just… just do it… please,” Noah said.

“Very well,” Julio replied.

Julio hopped down from the stool he had been standing atop and made his way towards the opposite table that Noah’s enclosure was on. Once there, Julio had to climb the legs of the stool like a kid on the monkey bars on the playground in order to get to the top of the stool where he could climb onto the table. Once on the table, he found himself staring over the glass fence of Noah’s enclosure. The walls of the glass enclosure came up to Julio’s arm pits. He had to hop up and lean over the edge like a kid trying to pet a tiger at the zoo to reach low enough for Noah to climb up onto his hand. Even then, Julio couldn’t get his hand low enough for Noah to climb onto his palm. The best he could do was extend his finger and have Noah latch onto it like a koala in a tree. Julio’s finger was far too wide for Noah to get his arms and legs around it. Fortunately, Noah was able to clamp his arms and legs around the squishy bit of Julio’s fingertip.

As Noah sat there with the squishy bit of Julio’s finger clenched between his thighs and hands like a speeder bike, he couldn’t help but marvel at how tiny he was. Just the uppermost segment of Julio’s middle finger was as longer than Noah was tall. That meant that, comparatively, Noah was a hair shy of half an inch tall to his towering coworker.

Julio lifted the tiny figure up and out of the enclosure and then placed Noah into the palm of his other hand. He lifted the tiny figure up to his face and said, “So… what now?”

“Let me kiss you,” Noah said.

“Hmm?” Julio asked.

“I… It’s just… cheek… lips… your choice. I just… it’s the only way I can think of to thank you… for everything,” Noah explained.

“Oh. Ok…” Julio replied. He held the tiny figure of his friend in his hand for a moment while he ran the numbers in his head, but eventually, he lifted Noah up towards his lips. Noah took an awkward step forward and leaned in to plant a kiss right on Julio’s upper lip.

Noah was rock hard. It wasn’t just that being held like this excited him. Noah had dreamt of being tiny. He had fantasized about being shrunken down like this, and their positions made it clear just how tiny he was compared to his comparatively massive coworker. Noah was so tiny that he was only slightly taller than Julio’s upper lip. Noah was roughly half an inch tall when compared to Julio’s own reduced size. Noah wasn’t even half as tall as Julio’s thumb. Hell, he was maybe a quarter that! Noah loved how small he felt, and the knowledge that Julio himself was much smaller than the average person just fueled his excitement, but what really had Noah so hot and bothered was Julio himself. Noah had never been more attracted to the guy than he was right now. Learning about all that Julio had done for him got his heart pounding in his chest. Noah’s cheeks were burning bright red. He wanted to tell Julio how he felt, but he wasn’t sure how Julio would react. Julio could be incredibly difficult sometimes… especially in matters of the heart.

Noah took a step back. He took a deep breath to steady his nerves, and then spoke up. “I wasn’t joking earlier… about playing with your cock… It doesn’t have to be anything serious. You could just set me down and let me work, if you prefer…” Noah said.

There was a tense pause as Julio silently mulled it over. Noah wished his friend’s face gave him anything to go off of. Julio was hard to read at the best of times, and now that Noah was so tiny that he could only see part of Julio’s face from an odd angle, it made it even harder to tell what was going on in his head. Eventually, however, Julio nodded and walked towards the center of the table where he would have room to spread out. Once there, he set Noah down on the tabletop and began to pull off his own shirt.

“Shirt” was a bit of a misnomer. Julio wasn’t even a foot tall. Clothes didn’t fit him. Even the toddler sized t-shirt he was wearing was more of a night gown than a t-shirt. Still, it was a simple matter to lift it up and over his head until he too was as nude as his tiny friend.

Noah stared up in awe at Julio’s massive body. Noah was so small that he wasn’t even eye level with Julio’s ankles. He was only just barely tall enough to be able to see over Julio’s toes. Noah’s sights weren’t set so low, however. Noah was staring up and up at Julio’s heavy nuts and fat cock. Julio’s nuts were so huge that even just one of them could eclipse Noah’s entire body. Noah could be completely buried under Julio’s sack! The mere thought caused Noah’s already stiff dick to give a lurch of delight.

Julio slowly lowered himself down until he was squatting low enough that the tip of his thick cock scraped the ground below. Noah could only stare in awe at it. The huge, thick piece was far larger than he was. The whole thing was longer than a train car! Noah was shorter than even just the glans!

Julio sat down so that his legs formed an enclosed play pen for his tiny pal. Noah looked around him. His heart pounded in his chest and his dick throbbed as he realized he was surrounded on all sides by towering friend. He could feel the warmth from Julio’s muscles emanating from all directions, but more than that, he could smell the faint scent of sweat from Julio’s huge cock. The scent of dick and balls filled Noah’s nostrils, and for a moment, his mind flashed back to the moment when he first came to after the experiment and he crawled out from underneath the heavy fabric of his own boxers. Noah could easily see how Rex had gotten so addicted to spending time buried in a dude’s undies. Noah, too, couldn’t help but fantasize about what it would be like. Maybe once Julio had some real clothes, Noah would suggest they try it, but for now, Noah was fixated on the fat cock that now lay splayed out in front of him like a beached whale.

Noah stepped awkwardly forward as he stared down the head of the massive cock. At his size, even just the slit of Julio’s dick was about as long as Noah’s torso. Noah could easily fit an arm down that pre-drooling maw. Hell! He could fit his head in there! From top to bottom, Julio’s slit was about the same size as Noah’s shoulders. It might take some wriggling, but he could probably get his whole body nestled in that massive cock. Noah felt light-headed just thinking about how much larger just Julio’s cock was compared to him, and even as he stared down the behemoth, some part of his mind reminded him that Simon’s cock was even larger. Much, much larger. Simon’s cock was probably bigger than Julio himself! If Julio’s cock was large enough to swallow his head, Simon’s cock could easily swallow him whole!

But as much as Noah wanted to explore the head of Julio’s cock, he had something else in mind that spurred him on. He climbed up and over the tip of Julio’s dick, which, at Noah’s size was very similar in size to the play-yard igloo he used to play on as a kid. The imagery was not lost on him. As he slowly climbed up past the head of Julio’s dick and over the thick layer of Julio’s foreskin, Noah silently wondered what his younger self would think upon learning he had willing shrunk himself down to a quarter centimeter so that he could enjoy experiencing the joys of visiting a cock the size of a playground.

Noah could feel the giant’s eyes on him as he trekked up along the length of Julio’s semi-chubbed schlong. Noah could feel the thickening member twitching beneath his feet as he stepped over bulging veins that lay across his path like tree roots, but Julio still sat back and silently observed.

It wasn’t until Noah finally reached the base of Julio’s cock that he finally broke the silence. As he stood there staring into the dense tangle of Julio’s bush, Noah soaked in the sights and the smells. There was an intense musky smell coming from the giant’s thick pubes.

“I saw you the other day… when we were talking to Simon…” Noah began to explain. He stepped forward and held a hand out to touch the dense tangle which rose before him. Julio’s hair was surprisingly soft. Even though each individual pube was thicker than Noah’s own fingers, they still gave way under his touch. It was like stroking incredibly dense but silky Easter grass.

Noah turned and fell back into the dense tangle. The thick pubes broke his fall and kept him suspended. It was like lying atop a literal cloud.

“I didn’t know how to bring it up…” Noah explained. He paused for a moment to let out a sigh before continuing. “I always thought you were cute, but seeing you naked. You were so hot. It was more than just your cock. I wanted the chance to explore your body.”

“I’m a bit hirsute, as they say. Some people are put off by that,” Julio replied.

“And some people love it!” Noah countered.

“Which some people are you?” Julio asked.

Noah rolled over and grabbed thick handfuls of fur. He buried his face in Julio’s bush and breathed deep. He was so comfortable here, he almost wanted to burrow into Julio’s fur and drift off to sleep, but Noah was far too horny for that.

“I thought you wanted to play with my cock,” Julio said with a chuckle.

“So did I…” Noah replied.

“Hmm… I have an idea,” Julio said.

“Hm?” Noah asked groggily, but he was quickly snapped from his reverie as Julio reached down and plucked the tiny guy up between his fingers. In one quick motion, Julio rolled onto his stomach and dropped the tiny guy onto his fat, hairy gooch.

The hair of Julio’s taint wasn’t nearly as long as the dense bush around the base of his cock, but it was still so thick that Noah found himself wading through a dense tangle that came up to his armpits. The smell of balls and musk filled his nostrils. It was dizzying and intoxicating!

Noah glanced around. Through the dense jungle, he could see in one direction a nut sack the size of a manor, and in the other direction, he could see the large, rolling hills of Julio’s bubbly butt.

Noah glanced back and forth. Both directions looked amazing. He wished he could split himself in two and dive headfirst both into Julio’s ass and his balls, but eventually, Noah’s gaze began to fixate on the massive mounds of Julio’s hairy ass.

Noah pushed his way through the thick stalks of Julio’s grundle. His taint hair was not nearly as dense as the bush around his cock, but it was still dense enough that Noah felt like he was shoving his way through a rainforest. It was certainly as hot and humid here as one, and some of the vinelike pubes were almost as thick as Noah’s wrist! He almost needed a machete to get through it. Still, Noah was not one to be deterred once he decided to do something. It was exactly that mindset that led him to getting shrunk in the first place, and now his single-minded focus had him following his raging boner like a dowsing rod.

Noah stepped into the narrow gap between the two massive mounds of Julio’s ass cheeks. The pathway was so narrow that Noah had to squeeze through sideways. The beads of sweat the dripped from his body were wiped clean by the slightly damp fur that lined the inner passage of Julio’s ass. The damp bristles that brushed against Noah’s body made it feel like he was going through a car wash, but unlike in a car wash, Noah felt dirtier by the second. It was the fun kind of dirty, though. It was the kind of dirty you only got from sex.

The air was hot and humid with musk. The smell of Julio’s hair and sweat and crack filled Noah’s nostrils and flooded his mouth so heavily that he could practically taste it. Noah was as hard as he had ever been. He understood now why Rex was so keen to spend so much time here. As his gaze fell upon his reflection in a basketball sized bead of sweat that hung like dew from one of Julio’s hairs, Noah felt a pang of regret.  He regretted that he didn’t work up the nerve to move even closer to the beaker. Had he been just a few scant inches closer, he too could have been reduced to less than a millimeter. He too could have been smaller than the beads of sweat which rolled down Julio’s hairy crack.

Noah forced himself to focus. He had to remind himself that he only felt large because he was exploring the body of another shrunken man. Compared to full-sized guys, Noah was the size of a bug. In fact, he was smaller than most bugs. He was the size of a gnat at best.

Noah’s desires were split once more. On one hand, he wanted to fantasize about how much tinier he was compared to everyone else, but on the other hand, he wanted to enjoy where he was right here and right now. On some level, he still couldn’t believe Julio had agreed to this. Was this Julio’s way of reciprocating Noah’s feelings? Or was this just platonic fucking around? It was hard to say, but not nearly as hard as Noah’s cock.

Noah moaned and pressed himself against the inner wall of Julio’s ass crack. He buried his face against the exposed flesh of his friend’s body and breathed deep the smell, but he needed more. Without even thinking, Noah stuck out his tongue and licked a path along Julio’s exposed skin. The taste was amazing. Noah had never done anything like this before. He was mostly a virgin until this moment. The closest he had come to fooling around with another guy was stroking his meat to porn while Rex was in the room. He almost wished he had fooled around some more before he decided to get shrunk, but at the same time, he knew now that nothing he could have done in the Before would be anywhere near as much fun as this.

Rex was right. Noah had wanted this. Noah had always wanted this. This was a dream come true and then some! And as he basked in the sights and smells and the sheer enormity of his massive friend, Noah couldn’t stop himself. He began to rock his hips and grind his cock against Julio’s exposed flesh.

Noah was so into it. He was so close to cumming. He began moaning and gasping for air as he soaked up both the experience and the musk. His head felt hazy. His cock felt more sensitive than it ever had before. Even his ass felt surprisingly sensitive.

Noah slipped a finger back and teased his own tight pucker. It was practically begging him to put a finger or two in, and Noah was in no position to argue. His body was now so slicked with the mixture of both his sweat and that of the giant’s that his finger slid in with hardly any resistance. Emboldened by this, Noah slipped in another. His two fingers were in all the way down to the bottom knuckle. Noah had no experience with others, but plenty of experience with himself. He knew exactly where to press. He mashed his fingers down. His whole body tensed and shuddered. His dick lurched excitedly.

“Fuck. I’m so close…” Noah moaned.

“Do you need any help?” Julio asked. The giant’s voice seemed to resonate through the cavern. The sheer intensity of the deep, bassy reverb made Noah’s entire body tremble.

Noah had completely forgotten about his collar. Despite their size difference, Julio could hear everything Noah said! Noah’s latent anxiety began to flare up. Had he not been so thoroughly boned, he would have panicked upon realizing that his friend knew how horny he was, but Noah’s libido was going into overdrive. He didn’t have the necessary brainpower to freak out.

“Yes! Please! Do anything you want to me!” Noah cried out.

There was a pause as Julio seemingly pondered Noah’s request. In that brief moment, Noah worried that he said something wrong. He wasn’t worried about offending Julio so much as he was worried that Julio would misinterpret his request. Noah realized in that moment that he really knew nothing about the giant’s proclivities. Was he enjoying this too? Or was he just allowing it to happen because Noah had asked?

“You seem to enjoy my ass. Would you like to get better acquainted?” Julio said after a moment.

Some part of Noah’s mind shouted at him to consider his words carefully, but this part of his mind was quickly shouted down by his overwhelming horniness.

“Yes! Please!” Noah shouted.

Noah then heard and felt something akin to a low rumble. At first, he thought it was an earthquake, but he soon realized that it was a deep, soft chuckle coming from the titan.

“Let me know how you like this,” Julio said. He reached back and grabbed a handful of his thick, shapely ass in each hand and pressed the two halves together. Noah was suddenly pinned between two thick slabs of meat. It was so tight that he could barely breathe. In any other scenario, his claustrophobia would have kicked in, but he was so horny that being buried in ass just drove him even wilder.

“Having fun?” Julio asked.

“Y-yes!” Noah managed to scream despite nearly suffocating in ass.

“Good. Would you like some more?” Julio asked.

“Y-yes!” Noah screamed again.

Noah felt another rumble as Julio chuckled again. Then the walls which pressed down around him began to move. Still with a handful of ass in each hand, Julio began kneading his cheeks forward and back. The opposite walls of his ass crack moved in opposite directions while still keeping Noah pinned between them.

Noah would have felt like he was in a tumble cycle in a dryer had it not been for how wet and humid it was. The soft, sweaty hairs of Julio’s crack rubbed across Noah’s shrunken body with each jiggle and shake of the titan’s thick butt cheeks. Noah struggled to catch a breath in the sporadic moments where the pressure eased up, but despite the burning in his chest, Noah was hornier than he had ever been.

“Fuck. I’m gonna…” Noah moaned.

As if in response to his cries, Julio squeezed down harder and pinned Noah tighter. A cry of bliss escaped Noah’s mouth and a gush of cum escaped his cock.

Noah moaned and whimpered again and again as he came over and over again. It had been a week since he had shrunk, and it had been about as long since he had last cum. Before the day of the experiment, he had been plagued with almost nightly dreams of getting smaller and smaller. Each morning, he woke up with a cum-coated crotch and a cold sweat. He had wanted this so badly, but then once he had finally shrunk, he was under observation, and the only dude who he could possibly have fun with was so dense! Yet, despite the delay, this was everything Noah could have dreamed of.

Finally, Noah’s nuts squeezed out the last bit of cum they had stored away. With nothing left to give, his cock stopped spurting, and Noah’s body began to go slack as the afterglow overtook him.

“I take that to mean you’re done,” Julio said.

Noah was unable to form words. All he could do was let out a contented squeak, but Julio was able to figure out what he meant.

Julio sat up, and let the tiny figure slide out from between his cheeks and onto the table. He turned around so that his own huge boner was looming large over the winded and blissed out Noah. Noah was so groggy and giddy from the afterglow that he was barely even conscious, let alone coherent, but upon seeing Julio’s huge, pre-drooling cock, Noah began to snap back to reality.

“Since you’re done. It seems it’s my turn… if you don’t mind,” Julio said.

“Do it!” Noah croaked.

“Very well,” Julio replied. He chuckled softly, but his chuckle soon gave way to soft moans and coos as he worked the fat shaft with one hand and cupped his huge nuts in the other.

“I’ll admit, I enjoyed that…” Julio murmured between moans. He continued to stroke his fat cock causing massive, basketball sized beads of pre to crash down around his shrunken friend. Julio was quickly reaching his limit, and as he came close, he added, “… and I think… you’ll enjoy this too…”

Noah didn’t have the time nor the mental capacity to ask what Julio was planning. All he could do was lie there and stare up in awe as the titan angled his massive cockhead down towards the tiny figure of his shrunken friend and coworker.

A bead of pre the size of Noah’s whole head splashed down on his face. The impact was enough to snap Noah out of his afterglow if only long enough to clean his eyes so he could watch what came next. Noah quickly wiped the viscous fluid from his face just in time to watch as Julio’s massive cock shuddered and lurched and then everything went white.

The massive burst of spooge crashed into Noah’s chest so hard that it knocked the wind out of him. In an instant he was completely buried in cum. As he lay there gasping for breath, thick, heavy gobs of cum flowed into his open mouth. At Noah’s size, the cum was so thick that it was like trying to swallow rubber cement, but Noah still did so excitedly. It was more than just the taste that excited him. It was more than just the texture. It was what this meant! He was smaller than his friend’s cumshot! He was completely submerged in Julio’s spunk! The heat from the warm, sticky spunk soothed his tired muscles and invigorated his tired soul.

Noah was so content in that moment, that he wanted to drift off to sleep suspended in his friend’s spunk, but it was probably best that Julio did not allow him to do that. As Noah lay there hovering between consciousness and the afterglow, a pair of thick fingers plucked him up from the spunk.

Noah suddenly found himself pinned between Julio’s thumb and forefinger. Noah was so tiny compared to his friend that Julio’s fingertip all but eclipsed his whole body. Being held like this caused Noah’s completely spent cock to twitch to life once more. Despite having nothing left in his nuts, Noah was as horny as ever.

“Probably best not to sleep there,” Julio commented.

“I guess…” Noah replied uncertainly.

“Shall we get cleaned up?” Julio asked.

“Not yet… I want to enjoy this a little longer,” Noah replied.

“Very well,” Julio replied.

There was an awkward moment as Julio stood there with his tiny, cum-coated friend pinned between his thumb and forefinger. Noah did kind of like being held by this, but the awkwardness of the situation was dampening the hotness of it all. Finally, Noah broke the silence.

“I’m a little tired after that. Want to just take a nap and deal with cleaning up after?” Noah asked.

“I could do that,” Julio replied.

Julio glanced around the lab and took stock of his surroundings. There wasn’t much there, especially not on the table they were currently seated atop. He could put Noah back in his enclosure and then go back to his own bed, but that didn’t seem the best course of action. His eyes then fell upon his own discarded shirt. It was so large on his shrunken body that it would easily serve as a sleeping bag.

Julio walked over towards his shirt, knelt down to flatten it out, and then laid down atop it. At his size, the cotton fabric was so thick and firm that it served as a decent mattress in a pinch. It was comfortable enough for him, anyway, and he already had a great idea for a bed for his friend.

Julio reached down and deposited his shrunken friend at the base of his now mostly deflated cock. Noah landed softly atop the dense cushion of Julio’s bush. The dense tangle felt like floating on a cloud – a cloud that smelled of musk and sex. Julio had worked up a bit of a sweat and so the scent coming from his crotch was even more powerful even without the added smell of drying cum added onto the mix.

Noah was so tired and giddy from the afterglow, that he quickly drifted off to sleep. Julio smiled as he watched his tiny friend contently slumber. Thanks to Noah’s collar, Julio could hear his friend’s soft snores echoing in his ears. Julio was tempted to remove his earpiece for a moment, but he decided that he rather liked the sound. He instead left it in, and eventually, he too drifted off to sleep, lulled by the soft snores of his tiny friend.

[First Chapter] || [Previous Chapter] || [Next Chapter]

[vickozone]

The Magnus Archives

-S4 Notes-

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

SOMETHING ABOUT FANART GOES HERE I THINK

<- previous notes

next notes ->

Handwriting translated below:

#121 Oliver. He’s dead and JON! YOU’RE OKAY!

#122 zombies and Jon’s first instinct from waking up from a 6 month coma is to read a statement. Icon.

#123 He just got back and Melanie wants to kill him and something is up with Martin. Also, The Web, I suppose. Coding?

#124 More Simon. What a guy. Also, Jon is… very concerned for Martin…

#125 The Slaughter is back and Melanie! CALM DOWN! MY HEADPHONES ARE ON LIFE SUPPORT AS IT IS!

#126 The Spiral clarity + Martin is being manipulated (SHE STABBED HIM!?)

#127 Another letter to Jonah. AND ELIAS IS JUST CHILLIN IN PRISON. GO OFF, KING!

#128 Breekon is nothing without Hope. The institute and ooo! Jon eye powers!

#129 Guy drowned in grandpa’s house and JON NEEDS AN ANCHOR! Also, very homosexual interaction.

#130 Meat ritual and JON! NO, SELF HARM IS BAD! YOU BETTER NOT DO WHAT I THINK YOU’RE IMPLYING!

#131 AAAA! AAAA! OH. OH NO. Jared is the Boneturner and Helen is an absolute queen <3

#132 Jon saves Daisy!! Yay! She is also The Hunt, but, whatever. The tapes drew him back…

#133 The Hunt ritual, and Basira… has feelingsss. The Hunt is about the chase, not the kill.

#134 The Extinction!? NO. Also Lukas is the worst. Hate that guy.

#135 “Have I ever told you how much I hate the sun?” -Manuela Lol, The Dark, The Vast, and The Lonely funded the space expedition.

#136 Annabelle! Creepy celeb puppet. And Daisy telling Jon he’s not responsible for everything gives hope. Yes! Therapy!

#137 The Slaughter ritual & Gertrude was fond of Gerry :( The Watcher’s Crown??

#138 “And then the sky blinked.” Elias is literally the ‘no need to thank me’ meme and Jonah and Smirke knew about the 14 fears and then he dies or smthn

#139 The life and crimes of Agnes. Jon MAYBE saw Peter’s plan and- PRAISE THE LORD, JON LIKES MARTIN!!

#140 Stupid Maxwell. Also, Santa is working working with the Devine Host (/j) & we’re going on a trip! :D

#141 Salesa statement from boat guy. Oh, Jon, I see why Martin has a crush on you now. 10/10 voice acting on everyone’s part.

#142 JEEZ, JON! You gave this poor woman literal trauma! Goodness…

#143 oh, it’s Manuela! Jon looked AT the darkness and HELEN IS A SAVIOR!

#144 MARTIN! We do NOT talk to people like that! Especially Daisy! This isn’t you! The Extinction is real, I guess, but, come on! Not cool.

#145 Gertrude is COLD. Dude’s head is somewhere in the institute- uh-

#146 5 people? Goodness, Jon. He can’t control it though, can he? Helen got Marcus and Basira is off to meet with Annabelle friggin Cane.

#147 Okay. No, he can control it. I love Anna. I also got Nikola flashbacks. Oh boy.

#148 Not 5 seconds in and Elias gets assaulted. Jon is worried for Martin and he read a statement about The Eye. A.

#149 Concrete Jungle. Oh and Martin is using Lonely powers. Greaaat.

#150 Homophobic endless houses and Melanie really said “nuh uh” to her job

#151 Simon is my new husband. Uhhh. He answered Martin’s questions, yada yada, he has Lonely powers

#152 More of The Buried. Jon and Helen chat more about avatar crap.

#153 Another odd desolation flesh cult, also Trevor and chic is here and he is HUNGRY

#154 Gerry’s dead dad gives a statement. J + M both F bomb, very gay, eye gouging is the only way out. (“It’s pretty drastic.” “What you gotta gouge your eyes out or something?” “…” “…” “…” “Fuck off.” <- funniest conversation in the whole series)

#155 Guy kills others to keep himself alive + MEL IS REMOVING HER EYES- OKAY-

#156 More extinction about an abandoned park and I am very scared for Martin

#157 another extinction- OMG MEL AND GEORGIE! Did… Helen stab Jon?

#158 SO MUCH. Martin played Lukas, Daisy is feral, ELIAS IS JONAH, Not!Sasha is loose, disaster duo is here, Martin is stuck in Lonely, Gertrude wanted ‘Elias’ to kill her. WHAT.

#159 Peter shares his story, is evaporated. “I see you, Jon…”

#160

Look at the sky, Martin. It’s looking back.

I OPEN THE DOOR!

[youngroyals-hc]

The boys are at Simon's house, lying in bed after some particularly enthusiastic sex. Simon knows they've dirtied the sheets and he'll need to wash them but he can't bear the thought of moving just yet. Not when Wille is clinging on to him so tight, drawing patterns on his chest and blinking sleepily as he follows his fingers. Eventually, he finds the energy to check the time. His mum will be home on a couple of hours, so if they put the sheets on to wash they should have time to put them in the dryer and redo the bed without her noticing. He sighs softly and kisses Wille's forward who practically keens and snuggles impossibly further into Simon's shoulder.

"Baby, we need to wash the sheets now if we have any hope of getting them done before Mama comes home."

"But Simme, I am so comfortableeee"

"I know, so am I mi amor, but do you really want Linda asking why we are washing the sheets when I haven't been sleeping in this bed the past week?"

"... Okay, you present a very convincing argument."

"How about I go make us some hot chocolate while you put on the sheets as a reward for being so responsible?"

Wille perks up at that and starts searching through the bedding for some underwear, grabbing the first pair he finds and chucking them at Simon (Wille had been wearing them earlier but they were originally Simon's, and he knew he should be weirded out by their habit of sharing underwear but he couldn't help but love it and the domesticity it implied).

They dress and Simon goes to the kitchen, leaving Wille in the laundry with the sheets and humming to himself as he prepares the drinks. He walks back into the laundry five minutes later, only to find Wille cautiously inspecting all the buttons on the machine. He had placed the sheets carefully into the basket and was now desperately trying to work out where to put the washing powder. Simon places the drinks on the bench before stepping to Wille's side and brushing his hand of the small of the Prince's back. He feels bad having left him; he had momentarily forgotten who his boyfriend was and the fact that he'd probably never had to use a washing machine before.

Wille says in a small voice "you must think I'm so pathetic. I don't even know to put bedsheets in a fucking washing machine."

Simon turns to him, and Wille's eyes are downcast so he gently reaches out and holds Wille's chin, turning his head until their eyes met. He strokes over his jaw as he speaks. "Mi amor, why on earth would you know how to use a washing machine? You have never had to use one. Yes, it's a little unusual for most people of our age, but it's not like you've had the most typical upbringing. I promise to never get upset about this kind of stuff Wille. You didn't choose this life or your upbringing. All you can do is ask questions and learn now, and that is enough for me. What do you think?

Wille closes the gap between them, kissing Simon firmly, cupping his hand around his neck.

"Every day, I feel so, so lucky that someone as incredible as you chose to love me." Wille stays close as he says this, staring into Simon's eyes with his intense eyes, the look that could pin you against a wall it is so strong and focused.

"I'm just treating you how you treat me Wille. You never chastise me about not knowing what fork to use or not knowing how to engage in small talk with the princess of Thailand." And Wille grins at the memory of walking up to Simon and the princess only to find he'd just asked her what she thought of the new Zelda game.

"Okay. Thank you Simme."

"Always, Wille. Now, watch closely."

And Simon goes over all the steps, showing Wille exactly what buttons to press and why, and where they keep the washing powder and how much to put in, and Wille listens with the same focus as if he was being briefed about a national emergency. When the machine sings it's little song, they jump off the bed where they have been playing a computer game and Simon shows him how to set the tumble dryer and explains how long different items generally needed.

Later that night they are chatting with Linda at the dinner table when she asks if either of them have dirty laundry as she's about to do a load and Wille quickly says "Oh, we'll do it!" And Linda tried to protest but Wille just tells her he wants to learn how to help out and she can't argue with the precious boy sitting in front of her, so earnest to be liked and accepted. So she lets them do it, Wille practically bouncing as he picks up the basket full of the family's clothes and Simon follows behind him, throwing a smile back at his mum as they leave.

(Wille remembers everything that Simon says, and asks how he should sort the clothes and does he use the delicate setting for this load or is a warm wash okay? And Simon smiles more than is appropriate for laundry.)

[young-royals-confessions]

honestly the propaganda that's been pushed against the holy kiss on the basis of the fact that it involved sexuality is reading to me as off-base at best and puritan at worst. implying that the holy kiss is winning only on the basis of it involving sex-- that that's the only reason people would appreciate it-- feels very backhanded to me. the people pushing for movie night have every right to their opinions, of course, but criticizing others for their opinion this way is unjustified. as someone who voted for the holy kiss (a very difficult decision, as most of these have been-- there's so many gorgeous kiss scenes between them, the chemistry is so clear and so beautiful, the cinematography is masterful and hits every time, i could go on and on), there were many reasons why i made that choice-- the emotional build up, their struggles with tension over the season, the fear of them never having this again, and yes admittedly it was hot-- but mostly i voted for it for the kiss itself, specifically that point where they reach up to one another's necks to hold each other where they're at and you can see the longing and desperation in just the crease of simon's brow (omar, you're insane)-- that moment was burned into my retinas the moment i saw it. that hit me like you couldn't imagine, the way they grabbed for one another knowing that sooner or later they were gonna have to let go. the neediness in that moment with the underlying heartbreak because they know it will soon be over. that was something that stuck with me deeply, and for as much as i adore the movie night-- they're first kiss and the tender hesitation that comes with it being that-- it didn't strike at me quite the same way (which it shouldn't, it's their first kiss), so when i was making my decisions, i chose what really stuck with me. honestly, i have no doubt that there's a certain subset of people that are only looking at it from the sexual lense, but does anyone actually think that it's a big enough margin to turn the votes? i too am shocked that it's not a tighter race, or even that the movie night isn't winning (and again, that's with me voting the other side) so i understand why pro-movie night people are upset to an extent, but can we get some pro-movie night propoganda that doesn't imply that the holy kiss is only about sex? or that involving sex makes something inherently less pure and loving? i know that it's there-- hell, i could write it myself. i might, even.

[dyelwi]

1, 7, 12, 17 for Ms Athena Cykes since she’s your current icon?

Athena my beloved aaa I love talking about her any chance I get hehe putting this under a read more bc it’s gonna get LONG

1. Why I like her: so so many reasons. Where do I even start lol um I’ll start w just her personality!!! Ace attorney has a lot of characters in the “peppy happy girl” category but Athena has always stood out to me because of her unique quirks and how well she bounces off any and every other character!! Her dynamics w other characters (esp Simon and Apollo) are always really really good, and I think she’s a really strong character that a lot of ppl overlook due to not liking aa5 as much as other games (which, btw, I’ve never seen anyone fault athena for, it’s usually the cases themselves and the handling of Phoenix and maybe Apollo they don’t like but notice how athena is like never complained about in terms of writing quality, at least from what I see lol). She feels cartoony and realistic at the same time, which is hard to achieve but is also exactly what aa protags need!! Her trauma and trauma responses are compelling for the mystery aspect of her story while also being compelling just in general, which isn’t always the case in these sorts of games, and I just really like how she’s written overall.

And ofc I have to mention I just have a really personal connection with her. As an autistic person w adhd I saw myself in her more than in p much any other character, but whereas when I first got into ace attorney I was gloomy and grumpy Athena was so energetic and so dedicated to helping ppl that I just really looked up to her, and even now I consider her to be like almost a role model in some sense?? And her being into psych pushed me more into psych than I already was and is probably part of what has led me to where I am now— graduating with a psych degree this year and going on to pursue grad school and a career in mental health counseling. Athena just makes me so happy and she’s so good at helping people despite and even because of her (probable) autism and I wanna be able to make people happy and help them too yknow???

7. Something the fandom does w her that I like: tbh not a ton lol, but I always appreciate when people see how she can very easily be interpreted as autistic and they work that into fan content!! I also appreciate the calls for an athena centric game, as I think she was very strong in aa5 but needs a little bit more. I truly think she could be like THE strongest written female character I’ve ever seen if she got just another bit of an arc and capcom doesn’t mess it up lol. I actually have faith in capcom tho, ik that’s a bit uncommon but if tgaa is any example of the sorta writing they can do i have faith.

12. A headcanon— besides the obvious and like basically implied neurodivergencey, I like to think she likes animals, specifically more uncommon ones!!! I think she should have a pet, maybe some sort of reptile or bird. Simon has a bird, maybe she gets one too lol. I like sun conures a lot and they do have athena vibes tbh

17. A ship with her I’m fine with/don’t hate but also isn’t my favorite: hmm well by now you probably know I’m a big justicykes fan but other than that I don’t ship her too hard w anyone??? I guess after justicykes I’d say her and pearl might be my next choice, it’s a rare one but I think they could be cute!! But since I lean towards liking that one instead of being neutral, I suppose the true answer to this question would be junithena. I’m like. Entirely neutral on it lol. I think they’re real fun as friends but I just never saw the romantic spark everyone else seems to see??? Who knows tho, maybe when me and my gf play aa5 together I’ll see it. A lot of the fan art is super cute but I just never really got the romance vibe w them idk

[veliseraptor]

April Reading Recap

so apparently I read a fuckton in April. I put that on the week off for Passover and also a number of very fast reads last month. here goes

The Spite House by Johnny Compton. Might be the best horror book I'd read in a while, and I did not see the twist coming for a long while. Good and very spooky on the whole, but the "creepy kids as ghosts" thing took some of the luster off it. Still, some good and original ideas here and I'll be watching for more books by this author.

The Nine Eyes of Lucien by Madeleine Roux. Not very good writing and a good third of the book was rehashing the events of the end of Campaign 2, which I just watched. It was fine, I guess? But I didn't find it added much.

The Red Tent by Anita Diamant. I've had this one on my list for literal years - it's a retelling of the Biblical story of Dinah, Jacob's one daughter. I kind of wish I'd read it sooner, when (a) I was less burned out on retellings/reinterpretations of familiar stories, and (b) when I would've been less bothered by the flavor of gender essentialism of the text and could have appreciated other things about it without getting stuck in feeling iffy about that. I am trying to work out why it bothers me so much that Diamant chose to change the reading of the text from (an implied) rape to a consensual love affair, and I'm not quite sure I can explain that.

It's an interesting book and I'm glad I read it but I don't think I'd recommend it without disclaimers; I think in some ways it's more interesting as an artifact of the cultural movement it comes out of than anything else. Would analyze in a class about Jewish feminist responses to stories in Tanakh (or Talmud, tbh).

Six Myths of Our Time: Little Angels, Little Monsters, Beautiful Beasts and More by Marina Warner. Fascinating collection of short essays originally given as lectures on the BBC, apparently - the one essay about the way the West conceptualizes the simultaneous purity/monstrosity of children was particularly interesting to me. Interesting piece of work I picked up totally by happenstance because it was short and looked interesting and it lived up to both qualities.

Gallows Hill by Darcy Coates. Good spooky horror recommended by @cigaretteburnslikefairylights and actually legit scared me in places, which doesn't happen all that often to me anymore when I'm reading horror. (I'm still a weenie watching it.) I actually...liked this one start to resolution and am going to be looking up more of Darcy Coates' writing, because if it's not, you know, doing something super ~innovative~ it is good spooky reading and that's really what I've been craving.

Krakatoa: The Day the World Exploded by Simon Winchester. Reading this book was a weird experience. I went into it just thinking "ooh, book about an interesting natural disaster, I love volcanoes" and came out of it going "whoa, surprise Islamophobia," checked the publication date, and learned it was 2003, whereupon I was miserably unsurprised. I don't know why the author felt like he needed to make colonial apologetics and blame the post-eruption upheaval on Islamic fundamentalists manipulating the natives into uprising against their Dutch masters but apparently he did. (I'm exaggerating. But not that much.)

The geology stuff was interesting. Mr. Winchester should've stuck with that and the reportage of the eruption itself and left politics out of it.

Violent Phenomena: 21 Essays on Translation ed. by Kavita Bhanot & Jeremy Tiang. This might be my favorite book I read in April, honestly. It's a really good collection of essays about the concept of decolonizing translation, and what that means, and whether it's possible, and the uneasy and uncomfortable relationship between translation and imperialism. I didn't agree with all the essays in here, and they didn't necessarily all agree with each other, but all of them at least had something interesting to say. I would recommend this one to people who can find it - it's by a small press - who are interested in translation or who frequently read in translation. The writers have a lot to say that I think is worth thinking about.

She Is a Haunting by Trang Thahn Tran. I think I just need to give up reading YA books with the realization they're generally not for me, though this one almost had me. It's something about the...I know there's a range of styles, I can't generalize style across the genre, but there is a texture to YA writing that doesn't quite work for me.

I love the concept - diaspora horror, colonialist horror, some really fucked up body horror stuff that got surprisingly gruesome - and would love to read a slightly different book about it, but alas, that book wasn't this one.

American Midnight: Democracy's Forgotten Crisis, 1917-1921 by Adam Hochschild. Another contender for favorite book I read this month though I think this one loses out to Violent Phenomena and possibly Gallows Hill, though comparing horror fiction to historical nonfiction feels kind of unfair. Anyway, I knew some of what this book was digging into - the Sedition Act and the intensely violent repression that was going on in the United States during World War I - but I learned a lot more here.

The depressing thing about reading this, though, was watching (so to speak) the brutal crushing of a once fairly robust American Socialist Party such that it never recovered. Not to mention the grinding down of the labor movement, which I think was at its most powerful during this period of time and hasn't been as strong since.

Just looking at that and wondering what might've been if Woodrow Wilson wasn't such a fucking dick.

Elektra by Jennifer Saint. I feel so funny about this book. I read another mythology retelling even though I swore not to because a Tumblr user I respect mentioned it being good; my experience was that it wasn't bad and it didn't actively bother me like some other retellings I could name, but I don't know that I'd actually call it good. Mostly I'd say I wasn't annoyed, just uninspired.

Of the three narrators, Elektra was definitely the best, and I really did like the construction of her relationship with Clytemnestra, which really felt like the meat of the book. (Perhaps, considering the House of Atreus, that's a bad turn of phrase to use.) The Cassandra sections felt like a distraction, mostly a way to keep the reader up with what was going on across the sea and provide some action in between the familial drama. Ultimately I just felt like those sections took away from the Elektra/Clytemnestra dynamic, leaving insufficient meat.

Fuzz: When Nature Breaks the Law by Mary Roach. I went through a period of time where I was reading all of Mary Roach's books, and was kind of obsessed with them, so this was sort of returning to an old and familiar friend. I found I wasn't quite as enamored with this one as I remembered being of some of her others (I think I remember Stiff being my favorite), but it was an interesting look at the intersections between human and animal - which is really more what this is about than law, per se. It's about what we do when animals cause problems for humans, from monkeys to bears, and the questions that are raised about the best way to handle those issues.

Nero: Matricide, Music, and Murder in Imperial Rome by Anthony Everitt & Roddy Ashworth. I'm so confused by this book. From the insistence on referring to Nero as "princeps" throughout the book, to the random dropping of French in places it really didn't need to be, to the frankly credulous approach to the sources, particularly when it comes to sex, even when the author mentioned how sex is often a proxy for politics in Roman historical writing, the weird sideways digression into "did Rome have gay marriage?", the weird "maybe she got what she deserved" aside about Messalina's death...

I learned a fair amount, I can say that, I'm not as knowledgeable about this period's Julio-Claudians. Frankly I think Agrippina (the Younger) was the real star of this book, despite Anthony Everitt's heroic efforts to make Nero the protagonist. Buddy, I see your point, but you're pushing a little too hard here.

Anyway. Weird reading experience, I'm tempted to recommend it just so someone else can either validate it or go "what are you talking about, this was a perfectly normal history book."

---

woof long post, but hey it was a lot of books. currently reading A Fever in the Heartland for more American racism in the early 20th century. I have a stack of library books that are waiting for me and I think the next one is probably going to be The Social Lives of Animals, which will either be really enjoyable or annoy the hell out of me, possibly both.

[chibishortdeath]

Had to remake this entire post cause I got gunk in my eye and set my phone down for two seconds to clean it and it crashed (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

Anyway, unfortunately slightly less excited/passionate version of this post it is then ughhhhh

Explanations yippie!

I got requested by some friends to draw Simon with short shorts and so I delivered. Really happy with the anatomy on this one :3

Yes this is Fuma slapping his ass and yes it was also a request lol

Simon did not expect that—

But it was a welcome surprise ;3

Simon and Fuma are cuddling in this one! It’s a little hard to make out what’s going on with their arms and legs tho whoops

Just a doodle about the artstyle crisis I had a bit ago with his hair. It didn’t last long and I ended up going right back to drawing it how I usually do anyway, but it was an interesting concept to try. Maybe I’ll try it out again someday cause it looks nice, but ehhhh I just didn’t end up enjoying drawing it very much tbh (TwT ).

To pair with the first image, I drew Simon in his cursed era with short shorts too hehe :3. I also started adding little dark vein patterns to the curse in this doodle :O. I think it’s giving cursed a lot more than just the bloody scratchy patterns I usually draw.

I like to think that maybe if Simon succumbed to the curse he’d end up a vampire. I mean, it’d track with vampire folklore surrounding the vampires’ curse. There’s a lot of stories where the vampire, even when dead or buried, can still long distance drain and inflict someone with illness and the end stage of it is death and coming back as a vampire or other spirit/ghoul. Aughhhh I had a much better rant about this written before the crash but I just can’t replicate it properly aaaaaaa curse you memory problems (;_; ). I’ll have to rant about vampire folklore in a separate dedicated post eventually, it’s fun :)

Yay, pose practice :3! Also this one is never getting finished, the anatomy was too fun to cover with big clunky armor 😔😔😔

This one I am also so proud of X]. I think this is my best depiction of the effects of the curse yet tbh. I had an explanation of the traits I usually depict it having before the crash, so I’ll try to make another one. First things first, it drastically affects the healing process. Things just don’t close up properly or at all in most cases. Old scars tend to open back up a lot easier and this is in part because of the second major effect: rotting. Rotting is a very explanatory word when it comes to physical ailments, implying decay or necrosis! It usually starts at the extremities or around the edges of wounds with skin darkening, bleeding, and either a dryness or wetness, then spreads inwards and downwards or through the blood to other areas. Especially in extreme cases, which I think 6 whole years qualifies for 💀. Simon would probably have very fragile skin in the most affected areas and long story short his hands and feet are probably raw most of the time yikes, ouch, this poor guy :(. I imagine that he probably has some kind of Belmont specific regenerative and resistant ability that’s kept him from dying from it for so long, since they are kinda implied to be a little superhuman in some way. Which is probably a blessing and a curse in itself because on one hand it did allow him to live long enough to fix the problem, but on the other hand that had to absolutely suck (haha, Drac haha). I’ve explained other elements of it in another older post now that I think of it, so I might have to gather all this stuff together and make a more in depth post about it cause it’s really neat to talk about :3! I had like a huge special interest as a kid for injury and disease cause I started making ocs and ran into a bunch of “how to write realistic injury” posts and I’m glad for it cause it comes back any time I’m writing or drawing something that requires that knowledge. :)

[sickgraymeat]

This is obviously not the most important part of the series overall but FOR ME the most important and impactful thing about AT is Bonnie’s struggle with her own agency, which is so deeply tied to sexual trauma and other consent- and body-related traumas. Feel like the fact that she appears (and is, to an extent) emotionally shallow and snobby and stubborn/in denial makes her less a target of sympathy, which is.. just very true to real life. Sad, lonely man rapes women in altered state of mind— tragic hero. His favorite victim (both before and during the time she knows him) scrambles to protect herself, sometimes hurting others in the process, sometimes by making herself numb to a threat rather than ousting it directly— evil bitch.

I have a lot of sympathy for Simon. Honestly he’s so much like me it’s a little scary. It’s just so incredibly disheartening to see the imbalance of criticism there. I’m late to the fandom so maybe I missed a lot, but I’ve seen so much criticism of Bonnie. Criticism of Simon, from what I’ve seen, is almost always “it was the crown” to some degree. An altered state of mind. Not a different person. If you don’t think he raped, I don’t know what to tell you. CN wasn’t about to give all the details, but it’s about as implied as it possibly could be. If you think he couldn’t have raped her because of who she was or what she’s capable of, then honestly block me right now please. That is not a thing and it never has been and it never will be, with anyone.

I obviously don’t know how F&C will look, but based on the trailer and cast/crew quotes I’m guessing we’re going to see a lot of Simon’s guilt and grief and despair, and honestly, I don’t care. I don’t care. Honestly when I watch it I might care a little bit, but if I do, I’ll wish I don’t, because all I can do with that caring is feel bad for him, which means feeling bad about wanting him to feel bad. And if you do care, I’m not judging you. I get it, really! Maybe I’m taking this all too seriously, but isn’t that why we’re all here? It’s important to us. It is serious.

I just want the record to show that I am so fucking tired. And I might not be the only one, so I’m posting it. Yeah!!

[phantomphaeton]

The Bridgerton Brothers, Seduction, and Robert Greene

The English language is vast and there are a thousand unnecessary words for everything, but in many cases the different words that all describe the same thing actually provide small nuanced differences that can provide specificity for our understanding. Among those words—and this subject of this enormously long post—is the word rake.

At some point during my extensive Googling of the boys, all three Bridgerton brothers and Simon, the Duke of Hastings, have been described as rakes. The word is beaten to death throughout the two seasons we’ve had so far, and I am already prepared to have it dinned into my ear further during season three.

But with the show’s immense popularity, the word is making its way into mainstream vernacular again. Now let’s take a seat and pour out some whiskey coffee, and put our feet up by the fire while I take a closer look at the liberal use of the word in the series and how it specifically applies to the men we’ve encountered on the show thus far.

First of all—before I get to analyzing how the word applies to each of the Bridgerton brothers, the question must be asked: What the fuck is a rake?

Well, the most standard of sources (dictionary.com) defines a rake as ‘a dissolute or immoral person, especially a man who indulges in vices or lacks sexual restraint.’ In the words of myimperfectlife.com, ‘a rake walked so that modern-day players and fuckboys could run.’ 

The author Sarah MacLean, a prominent historical romance novelist, defines a rake as thus: A rake is a lovable scoundrel….Usually, a rake is someone who has been around and has had a number of relationships. He's probably pretty handsome. He's probably pretty charming. He's definitely someone who's not interested in marriage. Celibacy is off the table. No serious relationships of any kind. Essentially, the rake is the bad boy with the heart of gold. 

Eh, seems straightforward enough, right? Not quite. As it turns out, there were a lot of different types of seducers back in the day of quills and chamber inkpots. A rake was just one of them, and while the showrunners (and Julia Quinn) prefer to use the word rake as a broad-stroke description for all three of the men I’m going to be classifying (like amoeba or something—this is very clinical), the reality is that there are other names for ladies’ men that have been sidelined even though a powerful argument can be made that they are infinitely more appropriate for the individual characters. 

The author Robert Greene, whose works on human nature with respect to war, power, and seduction provide the main reference point for most all of this essay, defines a rake as thus:

A rake is a male seducer who catches the female fancy by incessantly pursuing her….a rake has an effect on women due to his ability to show an ardent devotion to her. She is attracted to him because he seems to be madly in love with her. He shows no hesitation or reluctance, and unabashedly admits his weakness when in her presence, hence making himself every woman's dream come true. He is an expert at using words and language to show his devotion….the Rake also keeps a part of his personality hidden, creating a sense of danger and thrill. He also has a reputation for being a ladies's man and being reckless in love, but he never downplays or hides his notoriety. Instead he uses it to his advantage to generate interest among women. 

With this definition before us providing the central argument of my entire essay, we can see that the word ‘rake’ has been too liberally applied for pretty much every guy on the show. So now I will proceed to conduct my analysis on each of the three gentlemen we’ve encountered thus far, why they are not rakes, and what type of seducer they are instead. This requires me to clarify an important point:

The three oldest Bridgerton siblings (Anthony, Benedict, and Colin) are all, at some point, described as rakes. The only thing this is meant to imply to us as viewers and consumers of Bridgerton content is that none of them are virgins, which honestly doesn’t really help us classify them. 

Let’s begin with our favorite unhinged, slovenly whore—the Viscount Lord Anthony Bridgerton.

It wasn’t tough to analyze Anthony in spite of the fact that the second season left me thinking he was insane. Anthony is defined—in books and on screen—as an incurable, Capital R Rake. If you know your alphabet, then you’ll know that after an R must come an S, and Anthony’s season saw him transition from a Capital R Rake to a Capital S Simp. In between him going feral for Kate’s perfume, picking out the sheerest shirts known to man, and eye-fucking Kate from across rooms while he emotionally masturbates to their fantasy future, we hear the word get thrown around a lot. It’s not hard to believe it—he behaves like a real fuckboy. 

But let’s take a closer look, shall we?

Anthony is the easiest character to classify as a rake. His opening scene in season 1—literally the first impression that we get of him—is him fucking a girl against a tree while his coachman valiantly tries to pretend that he is literally anywhere else. This falsely presents Anthony as a lighthearted, devil-may-care sort of guy. He’s living without a care. He’s enjoying his youth. By the end of the pilot episode we know better. We see him as an overprotective, overbearing, controlling, more-than-slightly misogynistic asshole who needs to introduce his face to a straight razor (and not just because of the sideburns).

His fierce protectiveness of Daphne, which bars her from expanding her social network with critical connections during this extremely important part of her life, does not win him any brownie points among fans. His hypocrisy in being so obsessively overbearing only makes us dislike him more—we as viewers know where he goes when these parties are over. He takes his sisters home and treats them like lambs to be herded, and then scurries off to the other side of town and crawls into bed with his mistress. We develop a deeper understanding of him as the show progresses, and by the end of season 2 he’s pretty much adored by the audience.

Is Anthony Bridgerton a Rake? The answer to that is in his romantic history.

Right from the start, Anthony is established as a sexually active man. He spends the entirety of the first season hung up on his turbulent relationship with his mistress Siena Rosso, a beautiful and strong-willed opera singer. The relationship appears shallow at first glance, but as the season progresses we as viewers come to understand that there is way more to this relationship than just sex. By the end of the season, we understand that this is not just a dalliance that Anthony is indulging in—it’s a full blown relationship between two people on either side of an irreconcilable socio-economic divide.

The concept of boyfriends/girlfriends did not exist at this point in history and would not exist for another two hundred years, but that is what Anthony Bridgerton and Sienna Rosso were. Its temporary end hit Anthony hard, and its rekindling was just the right high for Anthony to get before he was crushed by the second (and final) breakup at the end of the season. This is not Anthony being a rake. This is a serious, long term relationship progressing and then falling apart.

When season two commences, we see Anthony on a warpath to find himself a bride and fulfill his duty as Viscount. His time away from Sienna hasn’t done much for his neuroticism—he’s somehow managed to become even worse as he prepares for the new season. He overworks himself half to death, makes his peace with the end of his relationship with Sienna, and stresses…and stresses…and stresses.

In between all of this, we see that he’s found an outlet for his stress—he’s a regular at London’s brothels. He is seen dropping coins onto nightstands and shuffling quietly out of dark rooms half dressed before that fateful morning ride that introduced him to the woman who would become his Viscountess. He’s working on autopilot, a car crash waiting to happen. His family’s inability to distinguish any specific difference in his behavior now with his behavior in the first season shows us that this isn’t particularly new—it’s just who Anthony is.

Is Anthony Bridgerton a rake by these standards? No. 

Having a long-term girlfriend and then going on a rampage of paying for sex does not make one a rake. It simply makes one sexually active, which we had already known. So by this definition, Anthony is definitely a slut, but I doubt there’s a soul on the internet who hasn’t called him that. And while we can definitely refer to Anthony as a lover of ladies, if we’re going to call him a seducer, we need to be more aware of which type of seducer we ought to call him. A rake—capital or lowercase r aside—just won’t cut it.

The crux of Anthony���s entire love story in season two hinges on his abject fucking refusal to be vulnerable with literally anyone. He lacks the patience and the skill to pretend to be devotedly in love with anyone. How he manages to fool Edwina into thinking he cares about her is a mystery that could rival the Da Vinci Code. (Hint: she’s a teenager, which is why she was fooled.) Throughout the entire series we see him displaying impatience, hot-headedness, stubbornness, and authoritarian tendencies. When Edwina dares to describe him as even-tempered, Daphne laughs at even the implication that Anthony can pretend to be calm. It takes rare moments of genuine affection for Anthony to be truly vulnerable with people.

This isn’t a critique of his character (which is one of the most wonderfully complex ones of the entire show) but simply an analysis of who he is and why the concept of a rake—a person who’s entire seduction modus operandi relies upon false devotion and admiration, ardent love and relentless pursuit, vulnerability and garnering sympathy—simply doesn’t fit Anthony’s character at all.

So if he’s not a rake, then what type of seducer is he?

That Anthony is in fact seductive is beyond dispute. He makes it plain to Kate that he knows what he’s doing.

So with that in mind, I posit that he is not the Rake, but instead The Charismatic. 

The Charismatic, as defined by Robert Greene, is described as thus: 

Charismatic seducers are inherently exciting because they come across as self sufficient and self driven. They represent the kind of personality that most people want to see themselves as. They might be great orators, public figures, visionaries or leaders. People might look towards them to alleviate their sufferings or to save them. They use their powerful personalities and their way with words to sway emotions and to stir up change. Some charismatic figures are able to seduce by creating contradictions within their personalities e.g. cruelty and kindness, power and vulnerability.

Further reading provides additional clarification:

Confidence, purpose, contentment, sexuality—when someone has an intense aura on the outside but stays rather detached, we can’t help but be smitten.

Sound familiar?

Anthony’s brooding intensity and confidence, strong sense of duty and responsibility all make him into a natural leader. He’s been wearing the mantle of family patriarch long enough now that he’s quite a natural at it. It’s not easy to make a guy like him feel awkward in his skin. He’s driven, he’s focused, and like him or not, he’s in charge. This effect is powerful enough to win over people even when he isn’t trying to seduce them. He terrifies the ever-loving fuck out of his baby brother’s Latin teacher, and it’s hinted that he commands the respect of plenty of other people within his polished and glittering social circle, too. 

The Bridgerton family’s power stems from the Viscountcy, a noble title that places them in the fourth of five ranks of the peerage. That’s pretty low on the totem pole compared to a lot of people within the ranks of Mayfair’s elite, and yet the Bridgerton family is prolific, well respected, and enormously powerful. Anthony’s been sitting pretty in that seat for a decade. If he was anything less than excellent at his job, then that status would not have held for long after his father’s death. It’s his intense focus on doing the job right and commanding respect even among the most respected of the Ton that makes Anthony so formidable.

General Vandamme once said this of another Charismatic seducer, Napoleon Bonaparte: 

That devil of a man exercises a fascination on me that I cannot explain even to myself, and in such a degree that, though I fear neither God nor devil, when I am in his presence I am ready to tremble like a child, and he could make me go through the eye of a needle to throw myself into the fire.

It is this exact energy in Anthony that draws another fierce seducer into his orbit. Kate is presented as a strong and independent woman who is more or less running the show with regards to her family.  She and Anthony spend the entire season taking each other apart piece by piece, but while special attention is paid to the unraveling of Anthony, we still get to see that it’s that exact intensity and confidence that pulls Kate in.

tl,dr: Anthony Bridgerton is not a Rake, but he oozes Charisma.

I also analyzed Benedict and Colin.