#lonliness is peace

[acermerryweather]

see this is what happens when youninvite someone into your problems... they get involved! and then they're forever involved and they also thinnk they now have a RIGHT to be involved, to advise, to "problem solve" to INTERFEAR! your life will no longer be yours alone. they say a problem shared is a problem halved... well it's also your life halved too.. your life is also then shared too with that said involved person!

the take away... stay lonely,stay private, shoulder the burden alone or you will spend the rest of your life repaying for that share!

[dragongril98]

Realizing the pain of lonliness and appreciating the peace of alone are different standards.

Pain of lonliness depresses and peace in alone cherishes.

Experiencing and differentaiting clearly, colours the soul and grows the mind.

Accomplishing a peaceful mind in a lonely environment, enjoying the 'alone' is a next level peace.

when it becomes an addiction lonliness will never exist.

[dunyabariscetin]

("Lonely Thoughts of an Astronaut in Space in the Moonlight" Classic T-Shirt for Sale by Dunya Baris Cetin gönderdi)

[itsjacobnotjake]

“Being alone has a power that very few people understand.” Steven Aitchinson

“I think its very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.” Oscar Wilde

“The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved.” Mother Theresa

“Loneliness is the poverty of self. Solitude is the richness of self.” May Sarton

It can take a long time to come to terms with being alone. For some, you never will. Bask in your moments to yourself. You’re the only one who can truly appreciate the beauty inside your own mind.

[poetrysmiddlechild]

“but the weather has long since been inside him [...] where rain ends, we begin [...] each drop contains the whole book, water, particles, pollen, all the dirt of the world.” - Portrait of the Rain, Jan Wagner, tr.by David Keplinger

In ascending order, I contain multitudes

But I also contain mixed feelings

Anxiety, and way too much grief

Silence is my drug, my antidote, my trap

It speaks to me of space and time,

Of building up the self out of thin air

But it also speak of loneliness

Of want, of hope for belonging

It is louder than any scream

And permeates my surroundings

It ties my tongue and plugs my ears and asks to be acknowledged

Too weak to protest, I bow my head

And let the sound of a falling leaf disturb the fabricated peace

[darkzone4me]

Tryna special to her but failed everytime😌🤐

[nickyelsh]

august came like a child running into traffic

i am finding comfort in my isolation

[winesandtulips]

[valiantplaidshepherddreamer]

[hanasbe]

Triptych self-portrait

[tokusho]

I couldnt sleep so heres a little fluffy thing for everyone!

Ghost x GN!Reader

You lay in bed with the covers pulled up to your nose. You hold a pillow with your husband’s shirt over it. He has been gone for months for a mission you could never know about. You smell the t-shirt again trying to find a sense of comfort while he’s gone.

The bed is too cold and quiet, the room is void of noise. The lonliness was starting to gnaw at you, the need to have a warm body next to you was overwhelming. You stare into the darkness wishing that he’d come home soon. Your eyes start to flutter feeling exhausted from the day until you hear the front door open.

He’s home.

You raise from bed tripping over yourself to get untangled from the bedsheet and quickly going to the stair case. You see him close the door quietly behind him locking the door. He shucks off his boots and places them the shoe rack next to the door.

His shoulders are slouched exhausted, you can see how he winces as he stands back up. You hope he’s not too injured from this mission.

“Simon?”, your voice echoes through the house

His head snaps towards you still running on adrenaline, before relaxing with a sigh. He takes off his mask pocketing it into his trousers, his eyes softening at the sight of you.

He ascends the stairs as you descend meeting each other in the middle. Tears gather in your eyes with a wobbly smile.

“Hi Simon”

“Hello love”

Tears fall down your cheeks, you can feel his calloused fingers wipe them away. You wrap your arms around his neck burying your face into your neck relieved that he’s home. Your hands wander every part of him confirming that he’s truly home.

Gently he picks you up leading you back to your bedroom.

“No more tears, I’m home.”

You nod taking a couple deep breaths calming yourself. He gently takes your hands off of him to quickly toss off his clothes into some shadowy corner.

You lay down with him next to you feeling like this is all just a dream. Ghost chuckles when he sees one of his old shirts on a pillow.

“You really did miss me huh”

You nod and he kisses the crown of your forehead tucking your head into the crook of his neck. Simon hands snake around your waist and your circle his.

Simons hands wander your body and smelling the scent of your shampoo. No more gunpowder and blood, no more screams of the dying, just his love and a comfortable bed.

Everything feels so much more right. The bed is the perfect size, its so nice and warm, and the sound of his heartbeat calms your mind. Your eyes start to flutter shut again but you want to spend more time with Simon.

His hand pets your head as he whispers in your ear, “Sleep well love, I’ll be here when you wake up”

Your mind drifts off to sleep now at peace knowing that he’s safe in your arms once again.

[cowgirlcasanova]

LIQUOR & LONLINESS

pairing | arthur morgan x fem! oc

summary | arthur sees caroline alone by the fire and gives her some company. caroline can’t stand seeing him so exhausted and tries to take some weight off his shoulders

tags | fluff, flirting but everyone denies it, two idiots pretending not to be in love, fireside chat, massage, cute nervous arthur

word count | 2.5k

a/n | hi bffs! this is my first time ever publishing a fic! i’ve been trying to get back into creative writing again so here we are. please be nice to me ok? :)

i plan on publishing more arthur fics with this oc, building up their world/relationship & revealing her backstory. i just always think it’s so fun to read about ocs so i thought i’d give it a try! so this is a little introduction. hope you like it <3

A small sliver of the moon peeked through the clouds reflecting off the bay surrounding Clemens Point.

The glow of the moon and the dying firelight contrasted beautifully on Carolines face, something Arthur couldn’t help but take notice of as he gazed at her from under the awning of his wagon.

He couldn’t force himself to revert his gaze, completely enthralled by the way the shadows danced across her at the smallest of movements. He was already picturing the angle in which he’d have to move his pencil to even attempt at sketching the sight of the warm and cool light dueling on her face. Arthur cursed himself under his breath at the mere thought of filling another page in his journal with her face, something he’d found himself doing far too often these days.

“Arthur you miserable fool.” He muttered to himself, grimacing as he stretched out his overworked body and rose off his cot.

Caroline sat alone, unsure if the heat she was feeling was radiating from the ebbing fire or from the burn of the dark liquor making its way through her system. She stuck to taking small sips of her glass of bourbon, feeling a strange guilt for drinking it in the first place.

As the only member of the Van Der Linde gang to have advanced medical knowledge it all fell on her to heal their various ailments. She often had just enough supplies to keep everyone afloat, but having the law after you constantly made it a challenge to get your hands on much needed medicine. So, she’d save what she could and turn to liquor as her medicine of choice, trying to save all the expensive tonics and remedies for the traumas that really needed it. Bill complaining of a back injury? Whiskey. The days that Hosea's cough seemed to worsen? Whiskey. Even using whiskey as a last ditch effort to warm John after his wolf attack. She always tried her best to stay out of her own medicinal stash of liquor, But, some nights she wanted the peace that came with the burn of whiskey. Tonight was one of those nights.

“Hey there, Miss Caroline.” Arthurs gruff voice breaks through the unusually silent night. The smell of the burning fire filled his nose as he got closer. He approaches her with a courteous nod, running a hand across his growing stubble.

“Mind if I join ya?” He removed his banged up hat, holding it close over his chest, a small sign of respect toward the lady that did go unnoticed by her. Rarely anything he did went unnoticed by her.

She smiled up at him with the warm smile she always wore, but something about it made him feel like that sweet smile was just for him everytime. Though he’d never let himself believe something as foolish as that. When she turned to look at him the shadows on her face stopped battling and the warm light of the fire covered her completely. From Arthurs vantage point it almost looked as if she was glowing.

“Please do.”

He moves as gently as he can for his size, taking his seat next to her on the old log the gang has fashioned into a bench. His usual confidence was tempered by something softer while next to her. His leg brushes against her knee, as he sits down, a reminder of how close you two are. The weight of his knee was pushing the scratchy material of her skirt against her leg and yet, she can’t bring herself to move her leg away from the tiny space they share. In the harsh life she's suddenly found herself thrown into, although by her own actions. She finds herself craving affection and touch more and more everyday. A gentle touch. Not a casual pat on the shoulder from Dutch or a clap on the back from Sean. Something with meaning behind it, with care and tenderness.

When Arthurs leg stays planted firmly, their knees barely brushing, her heart aches at the thought that the ever so tough man beside her may be feeling the same.

"you doin’ alright this evenin’, caroline?” He asks, his voice softer than usual. His eyes moved across her face, taking in the closeness and her warmth that he was now admiring up close.

“Im doin’ just fine. How ‘bout yourself?” Her sickeningly sweet southern accent hits his ears, making him unable to stop a smile from tugging at his lips.

“I’ve been worse.”

“Long day I take it?” She asks, sipping from her glass, not diverting her gaze from him. Her face takes on a concerned expression. He has to glance away from the look she gives him, deflecting his eyes to the fire. Something about the way she looked at him always seemed so soft and genuine. It turned him into a fool everytime.

“Ain’t they all.” He drawls, letting out a self deprecating chuckle.

Arthur stretches out his sore, muscled arms in front of him in an effort to work out the constant deep ache that his overworked body feels. His biceps flex through the thin material of his button up shirt, the material looking like it could give way any moment, unintentionally drawing Caroline's eye. Her heart speeds up as she takes another sip from her glass, doing her best to quiet her thoughts of him with liquor. A quiet, painful groan slips from his mouth at the movement. He closes his eyes and rolls his neck to try and soothe discomfort.

“Did’ya hurt yourself?” She asks swiftly, her voice filling with immediate concern. Arthur scolded himself, trying to push down the warmth he felt over her worrying for him. It was her job.

His eyes warmed at her concern, making her wonder if it was the pain or her that caused the change. She hoped it was the latter. “my shoulder just been actin’ up on me. nothin’ for you to fuss about.”

“Well, if ya keep throwin’ your weight around it ain’t never gon’ heal.” She laughed softly, shaking her head as if she was scolding the tough and hardened man beside her.

He made a sound somewhere between a chuckle and a groan, hating to be reminded of how often he seemed to be caught in some violent altercation nowadays. He hated it more coming from Caroline, the sweetest woman he knows. He couldn't help but feel like she should loathe him and this life. That she should turn heel and run while she still had a chance at a good life. Maybe even being able to settle down with a rich man somewhere, raise a family. The things a woman like her should be able to do. Not running with a gang of criminals.

“It ain’t the “throwing my weight around,” He says chuckling, repeating her choice of wording. “I’m just gettin’ old”

“Oh, you are not gettin’ old you silly man!” She whacked his arm playfully, the sound making a weak thump because of her carefulness, taking extra precaution to hit his forearm and not his sore shoulder.

All he musters out is a small lighthearted scoff at her strike, which felt more like a love tap.

“It ain’t age! It's all that punchin’ you're doing.” A weak attempt at chastising him, but she's not able to keep the smile off her lips long enough. “And yes, I did hear about that fight at the saloon.”

He looked over at her and the way she clicked her tongue in disapproval. She was still wearing that same smile. He couldn’t help but chuckle when she raised her eyebrows at him, the expression playfully reprimanding him and silently telling him that she was owed an answer.

“Yeah, I guessed you would’ve heard about it. But, they were was askin’ for it.” He felt an odd sense of understanding when she didn’t disagree with him but instead laughed and shook her head affectionately. “I'm sure they was.” Maybe she didn’t see him and his life as horribly as he thought.

“I guess maybe I can be a hotheaded fool sometimes.” He spoke, berating himself under the appearance of a good humored joke.

“That you certainly can be.” She chuckled, with a warm grin. He heard no malice in her words.

The way Arthur sits with his shoulders hunched forward, It's obvious he’s tired, sore, and overworked. It breaks her heart, the way he does so much for others here just to end up sitting here aching internally and externally.

“C’mere,” She gestures to the dirt ground under her feet. “Let me see what I can do for ya.” the pleading in her voice sounds like this is just as much for her as it is for him.

He doesn't want to. Making her work for him? No, it should be the other way. For a girl like her, he should be spending every waking minute running around making sure she has everything she could possibly want.

Before he can turn down her offer, she snaps her fingers, pointing at the same spot. She won't allow him to put himself last this time.

“Yes ma’am” He chuckles at her unusual assertiveness.

She carefully lays her hand on his shoulder, as if she was checking to make sure he wouldn’t flee like a wild horse the moment he felt her touch. Once certain, she rolls the pad of her thumb over his sore muscle, taking great care to be gentle. Like there was something she cherished under hands. The fabric of his shirt moves along with the movement of her thumb, stopping her hands from being able to touch his skin.

His broad shoulders relax under her touch, goosebumps rising over his skin when she touches him so delicately. He’s grateful for the shirt covering him so she can’t feel the way his skin reacts so easily to her touch. His head hangs forward as he lets out a quiet groan of contentment, relishing in the feeling. Whether it's the feeling of the sore muscle being worked loose or the feeling of being cared for so sweetly he’s not so sure. She peers down at his face and sees his eyes flutter closed as she continues her soothing movement. Her eyes were stuck on his face as he relaxed for the first time.

The smile lines around his mouth made it obvious he wore a warm expression often no matter how tough he looked at a moment's glance. His aging eyes were developing small wrinkles on the outer corners from years of squinting in the sun and all the times his bountiful laugh trailed up to his eyes. He always smelled of tobacco and ash, even his scent exuded warmth if you're able to get close enough to notice.

Arthur Morgan, The man who could make statues talk. He didn’t look intimidating to her, he rarely ever did but, especially not in the vulnerable position she’s seeing him in now. In their closeness, she could see the way the longer pieces of his growing stubble had a small curl to them, The way he had a few tiny freckles across the bridge of his nose, presumably from being in the sun his whole life. She realized he didn’t look so sad for once, he looked peaceful. And she was the one making him feel that way.

“That helpin’ at all?” She asks quietly, close enough to him that he feels her breath against his ear.

He nods sleepily, angling his neck to the left to stretch the muscle she’s working on. With the more exposed area, she runs her thumb along his neck, landing just under his jaw bone. He lets out a low, content murmur to answer her. “Mhmm” With her hands on him, she can feel the vibration of his rumble throughout her.

“Alrigh’, jus’ relax.” She whispers, her calm voice mixing with the sound of the crackling fire and the waves of the bay lapping quietly.

He lets out quiet, low groans here and there. The rumble in his voice suggests the sound is emanating from somewhere deep in his chest. His head hangs in his calm state, being enveloped in warm light.

Although this was meant to help him, she could feel it soothing her as well. She craved tenderness so deeply that this moment felt like a relief from all the toughness around her. She wasn’t just offering gentleness, she was receiving it. Arthur trusted her touch and surrendered to it. In this intimate moment, he let her be gentle and soft. For now that’s what she needed.

Even though his hands weren't on her at all, she felt as though they may as well could've been.

“That should help it at least.” She feathers her massage off, now just gently running a soothing hand over the muscle. “I don’t wanna end up aggravatin’ it more.”

He rolls his neck as he stands back up, positioning himself on the log once more. “Felt real nice. Thank ya” She feels his hand pat against her knee, gently squeezing it. Her leg felt cold after the loss of contact, even through a layer of fabric. A chill goes through her entire body. She's grateful for the long skirt covering her legs so he can’t feel the goosebumps across them.

“Don't mention it.” She says dismissively, although her heart is hammering in her chest. She takes a sip from her glass hoping he’ll believe the alcohol is the reason for the redness washing over the apples of her cheeks. “Just glad it did ya some good.”

“You’re a damn fine nurse, Caroline” A smile tugs at the corners of his mouth, looking almost jovial in nature. He doesn’t look so tense anymore. His shoulders fall in a more relaxed manner and the fire casts long bronze shadows over him, creating contours on his face that give his usually piercing eyes a new kind of gentleness.

“Well thank you Mr. Morgan” She beams at him, happy that her work is noticed. Especially by him. She’s constantly half exhausted with all she does in camp, fixing every small ailment that anyone complains of. And yet, shes not bringing in money or doing “domestic chores” so, Grimshaw sees no worth in her. “I do my best to keep you boys alive.” She laughs.

He scoffs with a lighthearted chuckle at her calling him “Mr. Morgan” He turns his gaze to the fire, watching it dance for a few moments before his eyes flicker down to his hands, looking at them with distant thought. “We’d probably be in a lot worse shape without ya…”

“Oh, I don’t know about that.” She laughs bashfully. She’s never been one to accept a compliment easily. But, something about the sincerity his voice holds always manages to make her consider that it could be the truth. She laughs again, shaking her head as if she was physically shaking the thought out. “Now, any other ways you’ve gone and gotten yourself hurt that I should know about?” Her eyebrows raise playfully.

The same scoff leaves his mouth, along with a low chuckle. “No, nothin’ else. Not now at least.”

“Well stop goin’ and gettin’ yourself hurt and maybe it’ll stay that way.” A warm smile bloomed across her face. He couldn’t help but notice the way a small crinkle formed across the bridge of her nose when she laughed. The sight captivated him too much, she seemed almost holy to him.

“I’ll try. No promises” He said with a chuckle that sounded from deep within his chest. “But, I'll try for you.”

[imustbenuts]

i finished metaphor refantazio which means i can talk about this game's themes with a working braincell now.

under the read more: pre-ww2 japanese history and religion fuckery. word vomit for anyone who might be interested in my perspective

Major spoilers head

i was RIGHT about louis being enamored with the royal family in some way and having a buttfuck ton of the royal family flowers in his room in his airship. i think this plot point is now heavily hinted at but currently discarded due to development/writing hell. i think louis probably followed hythlodaeus v out of the sanctum in extreme admiration. he has a lot of similarities with More in that they both had reality + lonliness crushed into their faces. his current self in the game is driven by despair and fear.

this is interesting bc theres actually also a lot of allusion to japanese pre-ww2 history going on from my admittedly very limited knowledge. so here goes:

There's a lot about Louis that reminds me of the whole shitshow going down during the Meiji era up until ww2. the gist of this past 200 odd years was that the western world came in knocking with christianity as a tool for colonization. which was understandably yikes, so they shut themselves off, only to then get another visitation later with pretty intimidating technology in the form of iron steamships with cannons. gunboat diplomacy. this meant that a previously imperialistic japanese society build on conquering had to react/adapt to this drastic force like fucking whiplash.

so they pretty much went from pro-military samurai shogunate to pro-emperor. the gist is there was a very pro-emperor-god-king rhetoric going on that sought to rid anything inconvenient towards that narrative. to keep people in line yes but to also get japan big and powerful enough to sit with the same western colonial powers.

so in place of the old caste system under the shogun, there eventually were now oligarchies, far right military factions etc under the emperor. only something like the top 5% of the population had a say in this new democracy system they set up too. (it got way more democratic in the 1930s? not sure. but what im saying here is 1860s-1900 ish at least)

so things were going. for a while. messy, full of 'expel the foreigners, revere the emperor' rhetoric but it was going.

then more depression happened and the overall economy went to shit in 1900. that era leading up to ww2 had a lot of young men in Japan being extremely nationalist and pro military, in part due to a whiplash of culture change and in other due to poverty. (ive come across the topic of white rice being offered for those who conscript. white rice was seen as the emperor's luxury food so that was somewhat of a draw to young men back then.) There were a lot of far right political factions and assassinations going on. international relations were also imploding bc the military had this idea that japan was the superior divine race and they were destined to conquer the world/asia. so they did some sabotaging false flag operation shit in manchuria in order to try and start a world war. (Mukden incident. 1931)

Which is then not a surprise that in 1932 a prime minister by the name of Inukai Tsuyoshi got assassinated by a bunch of far right pro military guys in their 20s. They were even then praised by the judge bc of their act being seen as pro-emperor and therefore patriotic. Bc again emperor god king delusion.

(read up on the League of Blood incident where these people also plotted to kill the oligarchs and liberal politicians. they uh actually succeeded in some cases btw. look, too much shit.)

meanwhile, the emperor, Hirohito, wanted peace, wanted better foreign international relations and relayed his desires to the same Inukai Tsuyoshi, but the military was going out of control. (and Inukai got assassinated so the position of prime minister is now Not Safe.) so out control they eventually became beyond any civilian/state control and bam ww2. pearl harbor and all that stuff.

(i havent read up on what kind of person hirohito actually is so ill refrain on commenting on his character. but in terms of actual power over his country hes VERY Hythlodaeus V in metaphor)

so while there isnt an organized religion in the form of a church, there is absolutely an element of religious and military fanaticism in that era.

So Louis has a lot of this vibes going on. He was also a young military boy. Is young probly in his 20s. Has a lot of royal flowers in his skyrunner that points towards this royal family worshiping thing. Seized control of a military faction that went completely out of control from the state. Is of some 'pure blood' race if his elda bloodline is any indication. Murdered the pro-equality but failed figure head bc he did not live up to Louis' expectations and was responsible for a lot of failures in the state policy. started a false flag operation that resulted in people dying and forced to leave an area.

also, did i mention lowkey eugenics? yeah that same imperial military was big on this too. the strong will survive the weak will be culled etc etc.

Meanwhile the mc gels well with the benevolent emperor narrative that is popular in JP media even today. I think it could be some indicator of how the general japanese feels towards the royal family, since supposedly an emperor is sworn to an oath of leading with valor, wisdom and benevolence. These are also represented by 3 regalia, a sword, a mirror and a jewel, presented during the official coronation ceremony.

The regalias might be treasures from different tribes originally, at least that's what some scholars think.

So I won't be surprised if the Drakodilos lance ends up being a part of the imperial treasure thing after the mutsari tribe gets protected under law. the mustaris here are the aforementioned 'different tribes' thing.

in fact, more on this topic with the mustaris. these people arent just random tribal people, to me they are more south/south east asian people. their biome is jungle island like, which means polynesian, and places like philippines, vietnam, thailand, indonesia etc.

the brown/tan skin is found in a lot of SEAsians, and the third eye is too a popular asian mysticism thing. it is especially prevalent in hinduism and buddhism. the idea is that a 3rd eye means enlightenment, or at least the ability to perceive the unperceivable.

if we subsitute sanctism with shinto, then theres some parallels here to be had with whats going on at the time too. bc the funny thing im seeing here is, shinto is sanctism, and mustari's religion has big buddhsim vibes without the name.

(that mustari arc boss looks like a twisted banged up buddha/boddhisattva what with the prayer position and multi arms thing going on)

in that pre-ww2 time period, shinto buddhism was going through a split and defining in order to prop up the emperor god king narrative. this process meant suppressing elements of buddhism. wont get into the reeds of this, but know that buddhism originated in india in a response against the hindu caste system. so in a way, a 'foreign' religon.

now, there is absolutely a thing going on here where Me:Re can come off as inherently pro-emperor and even a little pro-japanese nationalist, what with the whole 1 nation of vaguely SEAsians under a (japanese written) king thing. frankly, as a SEAsian this is gross but nothing surprising considering how hard Me:Re feels like an echo of pre ww2 jp politics. and also how jp media tends to be with topics surrounding this. im iffy on the japanese nationalist part, bc the needle is definitely moving in terms of racism/colorism today, and in the game lacks certain elements for me to see it as a big red flag.

that said, i wont immediately napalm the intentions behind this game to the ground. this game has got excellent commentary on racism and some stuff about policies. its got nuance. it is even a criticism against how the old japanese empire tried to go about doing things. it is open to the idea of democracy and even seems to say that politics arent perfect and can fail but its better to try than not at all.

this is far more valuable than blatant doomerism imo.

all this is why in the final segment, we fight More in the middle of shibuya scramble. this isnt just meta for the sake of meta, its allusion to their history specifically. this game is NOT so much a criticism about organized religion as it is about governance in relation to its people. this game is talking about politics without specific policies.

i can respect that despite all the major ick i might have.

this is why despite saying oppression is bad, it doesn't have any queer representation because it's leaning towards a conservative pro emperor ideology on the overall spectrum. Queerness is not part of that century old conversation at all in this context so take this as you will.

(personally the fact that queerness is not even remotely touched on means the overall thoughts on opression hasnt radically changed. Personally, this, specifically, sucks. Bc this means this narrative feels like it could've been easily released even 20 years ago and brought the exact same challenge to the table but ymmv. I suppose this is why people have been saying the game reminds them of old jrpgs.)

sooo yeah Me:Re is very much a big middle finger to fanaticism, but is also very japanese history at its roots. i had fun, and it def made me think

[lvstfv1]

— '' Stop Waiting ,, ♫.*

> re6!aeon

✦ [ the ending we've all needed. ] ✦

✦ [ fluff, angst ] ✦

word count :: 1,428 words

not proofread !

'Let me breathe for once,' she cursed in her mind, the thin leather sticking to her sore legs, reflecting the orange light of the sunset as she struggled to fight for her life; time was running out. She almost had enough. The metal sleeves of machine gun bullets flooded the ground with ringing noises filling the scene along with crackling sounds of the fire caused by this atrocious disaster. Alone yet again, she had to keep going, and so the attacking continued under pressure.

He chanted once again, never ending, like an irritating piece of gum stuck under her heels. "You'll be mine," too bad, she was born in a fucked up world like this one. She was born to live like an independent woman, with the potential to have a powerful yet peaceful job, and a nice living environment with her family in China. In spite of that, only forced to fight for her own peace, and the corrupted world's. The unwanted criticism from everyone pushed her back, but not too far away to fall off the edge.

Just as everyone expected, Ada had no one to rely on. No one at all. The only person that would remember her, would only be those few, most already gone to be remembered. She had thoughts of them, kind of as a motivation to keep her going, knowing that she does not want to lose any more lives she shared a memory with.

She wasn't the easiest to be knocked down, was she? Ada was agile and had inevitable mercenary skills most of her life. She had no one to rely on. That is a constant reminder for her. To remember the fact that she was alone, and at the mean time, the fact that she was a survivor. She had that slight sting in her heart everytime she thought about her lonliness, regardless, she was exceptionally used to it by this age.

Revisiting the situation, a simple spray of bullets removed her from her cloud of thoughts, the fog fading away, and instead, plain darkness right infront of her eyes. Ada was knocked down. Darkness lurked her head, her exhausted form collapsing on the end of the bridge.

Silence filled her ears, only a light ringing inside of her ears.

Who could come and save her? Barely anyone knew her and her true intentions. She was hunted by the BSAA, and a bad reputation diffused amongst the population. Ada wished she had lived a normal life. The only person who could remember her, did. He always had. Not Simmons, not Chris. That someone she had barely hung out with, yet knew the best of her.

"Ada!" That voice echoed in the distance, the unconscious spy laying almost lifelessly on the ground. The man's eyes widened in agony. A bolt out of the blue, Leon never knew she would fall this hard. Fall in what way? Every way. A risky jump from that perished elevator, his partner, Helena watching in anxiety.

'Come on.. get up,' Leon repeated with panic in his mind before actually reaching out, hesitant. "Please be okay," he prayed with his heart, holding onto Ada for dear life as he fired with anger at the sickening monster. She felt it. Emitting warmth, a strong body, at last shielding her body as it absorbed the uninterrupted bullets, rough, thick hands carrying the weight of her delicate body. "Ada.." He muttered with growing fear and hurt.

Come on, Leon. He'd missed out on her his entire life. It wasn't his fault entirely, as Ada distanced herself from Leon, because she knew she could never get his trust back, seeing his growth for almost fifteen years. How? it was just that they suffered that horrendous night in raccoon city together, and since then, they were stuck together. What an event, making two mutual pining folks lingering onto each other's presence for over a decade. It all happened too quick.

Ada could not comprehend the situation. Being as intelligent as she was, a cold joke, seeming to warm up their interaction more. "I was just resting my eyes," Leon thought it was foolish that she tried to build herself back up when he could be the one protecting her now, especially after years with Ada unconditionally being his guardian angel. It was the time for him to repay. Although in the end, we understand their way of loving and who would end up saving each other before one of them leaves again.

Ada had always thought, she was incapable of loving. Growing up in an environment where she had to stay mysterious for her own good, she handled her emotions well, well enough until that night. The thought of hurting Leon projected back to her a little too extremely, exposing that vulnerable side of her that she never even knew had existed. Betraying missions after missions to make it up to him, although he didn't really notice them. Yet, he understood. Leon definitely did.

Simmons, his obsession with Ada only turned her stomach. So many choices she could've picked, why Leon?

As he hung over the edge of the bridge, that hand that just held her getting demolished by the stomach-churning antagonist of the century. "Can't always get what you want, Simmons," a sharpened rod of metal piercing through his cracked body as he fell forward, landing to be wrecked by the vigorous flame. A smirk lingered on the corner of Ada's plump lips, satisfied and relieved.

Leon chased after Ada on the other side of the building as she pulled a smooth getaway, with her grapple hook, that had been durable for ages.

"Ada-" He immediately grabbed her arm firmly, not allowing her to move away, his shiny eyes with a glimpse of hope as his eyebrows locked together.

Her head tilted down as she stopped her movement. She broke the silence with a scoff, full of emotions buried deep under it. "You know I can't stay." Ada finally had a proper response, but the last thing he wanted to hear.

A slight curve on his chapped lips, reminding him of when he pushed Ada away on their second meeting. "Ada-" Leon called out, bluntly blocking her way, his mind full of hope that she would get his meaning. She didn't mind, an intrigued expression on her pretty face. "Hm?" Her arms crossed infront of her chest. She was anticipating.

Hesitation filled Leon's facial expression. It seemed like he was struggling with making the right decision. 'Come on Leon. Haven't you seen what I've done for you for all these years?' Ada's eyes spoke, eyebrows began to close together as the air got denser.

Ada had distanced herself and shut herself down for too long, not begging for his attention yet beginning her own radiation. Leon was the spark she needed to fill that hole of darkness within her, although, she knew she didn't deserve him at all.

"I don't want to see you for the last time."

His shaky voice seemed to hit a nerve in her body, a strong one. Eye contact was lacking, air stiff and tense, bodies frozen as the world kept quiet around them, only the crackling of the fire could be heard.

They finally made a decision to face each other. 'So cute,' she whispered instinctly to herself. His teary eyes seemed to wetten her own pair too. Leon gulped loudly, holding himself together so he wouldn't shatter like he did as a rookie; although that part of him was still in there, somewhere. Maybe younger three years, but hes a vulnerable puppy at heart, courageous government agent at sight. It was overwhelming for the both of them. How could Ada reject this offer? She wasn't exactly working for anyone now. She didn't have to run away, did she? Her heart was racing, breaking her scale of being the spy she was. It could change their lives, 'it' referring to the decision she had to make after desolated events between them.

A gut wrenching feeling festered within her. Ada never wanted to distance herself away. Lovers was all she wanted to be, despite her distancing away during every interaction between them. She knew what she wanted.

"Mm." She hummed willingly. Not exactly an exciting tone, although she knew damn well how much joy and relief she was in.

Sore and awkward arms wrapped around each other's torso in an instant, tears drenched their shirts. Warmth was spread amongst them, as all that could be heard were their joyous sobs and hearty chuckles.

[alvisthefox]

Name: Alvis Winter

Nicknames: Al (gose by Al mostly) 113 (called by eggman when he was in his controle)

Language: default is English (He is Polyglot so he can speak any language)

D.O.B: Unknown but was born in The War to Take Back the Planet (Sonic Forces) but guessed to be in November

Species: Fox (Genetically modified)

Age: 13 (depends on when story is, some could be him in 20s but looks mostly the same)

Gender: Male

Hight: 106cm

Alignment: True Neutral / Chaotic Neutral

Abilitys: Teleportation, electricity (He's resistant to electricity. Just cant control it. But can direct thru his gauntlets) (more but not gonna say)

Skills: Smart, Good fighting (hand to hand and weapons), Engineer/Electrician, Tech, Baking, musical instruments, Mimic voices, Parkour/Gymnastics/Brake dance

Team: Team Sonic. But work alone and with others to help. Has worked with G.U.N and other Teams

Info: Alvis (Al) use to be known as 113 was once pronounced as a missing child presumed dead before a altercation as 113 with Sonic reviling the hold time he was in Eggmans captivity. Since Eggman let him go and was found 3 months later in the mountains living out a crashed G.U.N cargo plane. He's slowly getting a somewhat normal life with team sonic. Giving inside of working for Robotnic, why he is purple ect but keeps something still to himself. Like birthdays and why he tenses up around the mayor's wife. Almost like he is holding back anger. Alvis most open with Miles "Tails" Prower. Being when was he was 5 they did meet and found out he was a HUGE and still is a Tails fan. But Tails has mentioned how he was in Eggmans position in the first place was he was sold. But is keeping alot secrate. What els dose Alvis know. What els, he has the memories of the 4 who's DNA was used to chnage Als DNA and give powers?

Edit: That last thing. Yes. Said he had identity problem and even others saying for example "Sonic" Alvis would react like you said his name, and was mentioned he hallucinates seeing one of the 4 or all 4 at the same time. Can feel how it Felt being super in space, How the space ark food tasted, How lonly it is on angel island and how it feels to bullied to then find someone who accepts you and treats u like a brother

(This is a AU.)

Yet a nother awesome peace from @catragemiau they did a amazing job with my Sonic OC and got a charicter sheet.

I cant stress anuff that @catragemiau is worth every penny! If you want art at grate quality! @catragemiau is the one!

(Pls leave a slot for me to get art tho 🥺)

I can just go on for days about this! This is my 2nd art from them. And just like last time. So happy.

((Should mention. These are all versions. I'm kinda just re using the look of past versions of Al in my AU))

V1 (first ever alvis back in 06)(IRL 06)

V2 (pre experimented Alvis)

V3 (half way thru fur changing colour)

V4

Sonic Prime AU

--Carbine-- --Captain Iceberg-- --Savage--

Sonic Riders

Sonic Boom AU

[echologname]

What's from God and what's not

From God

Holy - set apart from the world (which is cursed with sin) and anything that comes directly from God Himself

Love

Joy

Peace

Patience

Kindness

Goodness

Faithfullness

Gentleness

Self-control

Mercy, forgiveness and grace

Truth

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Phil.4.8&version=NLT

Everything humans do in the Bible is not of their own power but God's which they receive the blessing to experience through FAITH. So, God is saying to keep our minds focused on Him because many beliefs or doubts start as thought and can work their way to the heart and spirit for better or worse.

What's not

Demonic - absence or lack of God's light and presence (think of how the sun provides warmth, light and life and as you get further away, space becomes cold, dark and inhospitable)

Anger/bitterness (holding a grudge)

Hatred

Sadness

Lonliness

Distress (fear)

Lies

Murder

Theft

Pride

Greed

Lust

Gluttony

For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Jas.3.15&version=NLT

Demons are angels who've chosen to separate themselves from God, and the Bible is very strict about committing sin in your mind and heart like 1 John 3:15, "If you hate each other, you are murderers, and we know murderers do not have eternal life."

This is to warn others about merely doing something in your mind and heart with good or bad intentions. You can do anything for the goodness of God if you're acting in genuine honesty, humility, selflessness and empathy. But anything can be sinful if you're doing it in selfishness, callousness, or in the desire for malice, deceit and disorder (chaos).

The point is, ALWAYS check your thoughts and feelings.

And we destroy every proud thing that raises itself against the knowledge of God. We capture every thought and make it give up and obey Christ. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2Cor.10.5&version=ICB

This to help you be aware if you're being deceived or influenced by evil spirits and to make a strong, conscious effort to DENY them, and do what God says instead:

Give Him your fears and worries

Be joyful

Be loving

Find peace in Him

Let go of anger

Pray and praise constantly

It can be REALLY hard to do these things, but God promises to give you endurance if you trust in Him (Isiah 40:31) and strength if you ask for it.

I can do all things through Christ because he gives me strength. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Phil.4.13&version=ICB