#long but i'm verbose.

[bilbobagginsomebabez]

@[REDACTED] because you heathens can't let someone fucking LEARN. op, I intend this kindly, but I can tell you would not be a friend to terfs and this whole thing is rooted in terf brainrot. I'm choosing community today and going to explain why this is terfy shit fucking over trans mascs.

so the core of the terf belief system is that there is a bioessentialist Quality Of Men that makes them fundamentally an Oppressor who can never face marginalization, right? we disagree with that because we love trans people--both women and men. if men are Fundamentally Oppressors, you can't Change Genders. here's the thing. under the premise of "transmasculine oppression does not occur at any axis so they can't have this word", you have removed the bioessentialist aspect but still accepted that there is a Quality Of Men that innately makes them an Oppressor that can never face marginalization.

now the next logical step that we've taken from "men can never be oppressed or have a -phobia term" is that because the "base model" or cis men aren't oppressed and don't face what would hypothetically be "androphobia," trans men cannot create the term "transandrophobia" to describe their real experiences of pain and oppression. despite this weird semantic caveat, we both fully and entirely agree that trans men/mascs do face real oppression specifically due to being Trans Men/Mascs that is different in nature from the cruelty and oppression that Trans Women/Femmes face. so we fully agree that the phenomenon is real, but you and many others are for some reason saying they cannot have a word to describe it. they can't have a word to describe their real experiences because the "base model" doesn't face oppression and we hate the base model so much they specifically do not and can never have a -phobia word.

what is the point of this? who does this help?

it helps terfs keep trans mascs isolated is who it helps. i just. i think the toxicity of the idea is really represented in action right now. because we are talking about a group of men/masculine people who are actively specifically marginalized. they are telling us they are being targeted for detransition and conversion therapy. they are trying to tell us something and we aren't listening because we're playing semantic games over what words they're allowed to use. because they aren't oppressed enough to "be at an axis." in practice right now, it seems like "be at an axis" has turned into "have a real voice in the community." there needs to be room here, conversations where "trans masc" isn't a performative placeholder for "passing trans men," more fluid boundaries between "Man" and "Woman" and how people identified within those categories face marginalization, less hatred for Men and more love for queer life and liberation. not just to be inclusive of nonbinary people who also exist and face weird mixes of both of these real things--transandrophobia and transmisogyny-- but because right now we are denying solidarity to members of our community and limiting our own discussion and understanding in favor of forcing a Very Harassed Group Of Us to endlessly workshop the term over petty semantic grievances.

and I'm sorry but i really. just need us to collectively take a moment and reflect that the grievance is "this word could be broken down into another word we wouldn't like." and i don't really know what to do with that. there are a lot of good reasons to use the term "transandrophobia" not the least of which is because it's immediately descriptive under the language rules we all know (the marginalization/hate that trans men face) but because it fits in with all of the other queer terms--biphobia, homophobia, lesbophobia, aphobia, queerphobia--we generally went hard in terms of "phobia" terms. trans-andro-phobia seems perfectly reasonable to me to describe the hatred of trans men. i am really really sad that "'andro' can't be in a 'phobia' word because men can never be oppressed" became the dominant discourse on this because it really is just. mean. it's just mean-spiritied. 'misandry' already exists. if whatever you were scared of was gonna happen, it already would have. i really cannot comprehend the preferencing of some nebulous possible harm of "androphobia" over and above our ability to describe real problems facing members of our community.

again i ask you, who does this help? trans mascs are our community and they are being attacked brutally and quietly and we aren't talking about it because?? men can't be oppressed because they're not on an axis? they are asking us for solidarity. and they need it.

trans men are asking us to see that terfs weaponize murderous language against trans women but they are no less genocidal in their aims of targeting trans men and mascs for de-transition, conversion therapy, and corrective rape. "lost lesbians" and "lost daughters" and "irreversible damage" are rallying cries and money makers among the far right--they say "keep your daughters daughters, keep them in the ontological category of victim before they become a predator."

the hostility to the term transandrophobia because "men can't be oppressed" is the internalization of the terf belief that men are fundamentally and innately predators and oppressors instead of people reacting to their position under the system of patriarchy. it's a belief that never allows for the destruction of the patriarchy. it says you can never be a gender-traitor unless you're the right gender--a feminine gender (woman) fighting against the innately violent masculine onslaught (men). there are straight cis men who fight against toxic male gender norms and face violence for it, too. this model cannot articulate that violence beyond "homophobia" and it cannot articulate the violence against our trans brothers beyond "transphobia" and that is a failure. that is not ideological purity-- that is an active failure to real and living members of your community. we need to articulate it.

transandrophobia is a perfectly serviceable term to describe a real problem that needs a term. trans men and mascs face specific violences. your response literally agrees that it's real. we have both stated on multiple occasions that agree that it's real. so we need to be able to talk about it. so we need a word for it.

i would encourage you in general to prioritize people's wellbeing over and above linguistic purity. especially right now when things are getting worse and worse and worse for ALL trans people.

[papersnakepress]

I had a message the other day asking (among other things) what kind of tools and equipment I use in making books, and as it's something I like to go into detail on, I realized I couldn't fit everything I had to say in a message so it's getting its own post. With photos!

Disclaimer that I'm not a professional bookbinder, I'm entirely self-taught and probably have habits and practices that would drive a pro nuts. I'm no authority, but these are the things that have worked for me, and maybe you can adapt them to work for you too.

This post will not cover: storage options, materials like board and glue, or equipment specific to one narrower aspect of the hobby like embossing or gilding. It is also not a tutorial on how to make a book, though I am covering things in more-or-less the order I use them in during the book-making process.

This post will cover: What I've found useful, what I've regretted buying, and some things you can co-opt from other, more common hobbies. A lot of it you may already have in your house. Some of it is for beginners, some is nicer equipment you might want as you get further into making books. They are not separated, it's just a list and some description.

Keep reading below the cut; this is gonna be a very long one and there are a lot of photos of everything.

If you want to make books you will need access to a printer. I'm not going to go into detail on this part and I didn't take a photo of my HP (not the best brand, but that's a long discussion in and of itself). Once you've got your pages printed and it's time to fold it into signatures, it helps to have a folding tool like these:

Folding tools can be anything as long as they're smooth and flat. The one on the left here is an actual bone folder from an art supply shop, but the center one is a plastic leatherworking tool that I got at Hobby Lobby, and the one on the right is an agate burnisher that I got from Amazon. None of these cost more than $10, and you can also use the edge of a pen (as long as it has no rubber grip or cap/clip) or the back of a spoon. Or your fingers, but the tools make it faster and the folds are more precise. I once worked a job where I had to fold maps, and all my coworkers were wondering how I did them so much faster and why mine were flatter than everyone else's, and it was because I'd grabbed a sharpie and started using the back end like a bone folder.

Once it's folded, you'll need to poke holes for sewing. I use one of these:

Left is, again, an actual bookbinding awl from an art supply store, while the center one is a paper quilling tool and the right one is a beadwork awl, both of which came from a big chain craft store. The bead one is my favorite; it's a good size and very stable. The quilling thing has too long and thin of a blade and it's wobbly, and I don't like the tapering on the bookbinding awl. It tends to make the holes in the middle page too big, and the outer ones too small. Again, these were cheap, about $10 each, but you can also use a sewing needle stuck in a cork, or a thumbtack or pushpin. If it's pointy and rigid, it'll work.

This isn't a requirement by any means, but I've found I like having a punching cradle for the hole-poking step. I got this 3d printed one from a fellow bookbinder, who was designing their own and made this one as a prototype. There are a lot of tutorials on how to make a punching cradle, or you can buy them online from several different vendors. They don's all look like this, and you can make them from wood or cardboard (though those don't usually have guide holes). If you're just starting out or this doesn't appeal, you can just use a paper template like the one on the far right. The cradle helps get the holes lined up and evenly spaced, and I've never liked this step so anything that makes it faster and less fussy is a win. If you use this kind, check that your hole-poking tool fits in the guide holes--the binding awl pictured above doesn't, but the other two do.

We've made holes, so let's stitch them up. These are just regular sewing needles and beeswax, to make your thread less prone to tangling. You can get both of them in any store that has a sewing department. There are dedicated bookbinding needles, like curved needles, and some binders like them, but I've never gotten the hang of the curved ones and they aren't necessary, especially when you're just starting out. If it fits through the holes you made, it will work.

Once it's sewn, you probably want to squish your new text block so it's flat. I've got a laying press that I bought a couple of years ago when I was first getting started. It was marketed as a book and flower press, and it's honestly not the best. I would probably not have bought it if I had known that it wasn't essential to the process, and I mainly use it now when I'm squishing a text block and still want to use my work space, because once it's tight I can move it somewhere else. You can really use almost anything for squishing as long as it's heavy and flat and rigid on one side, like the stack of books in the right-hand photo. Textbooks, encyclopedias, art and photo books, and comic book omnibuses are all great. I've seen people use all kinds of things, like paper-wrapped bricks and doorstops, and there are tutorials out there to make your own press out of cutting boards if you do want one.

If you like your books to have smooth, flat page edges you're going to have to trim them. This is a book plow from Affordable Binding Equipment, and it was the first piece of actual expensive equipment that I bought. Not all plows look like this; I think the design is unique to ABE, but I've never used the traditional kind. In the interest of full disclosure, you can also trim edges with a sharpened chisel, which is much cheaper and can be bought at any hardware store, and some binders love this method. I do not love this method and have had zero regrets about caving and getting the plow. Very easy to use but does require some grip strength. Not pictured: the setup for sharpening the blade, which isn't hard but requires a bit of space and a small sheet of plate glass that you have to source yourself. Even with that, I still prefer it to the chisel. That said, this is not an essential step and you can leave your books with a "sawtooth" or deckled edge. Most of my early books have them, and some people just like them better than the flat ones and never learn to trim them. As another side note, some tutorials will say that you can trim your edges flat with a knife. You can't. Maybe on a pamphlet you can, but if it's more than 10 or 20 pages you just can't. It will look terrible.

If you're going to use a plow, you've got to have the right kind of press. The one I talked about further up the thread is the wrong kind (full disclosure: I did use it with that press turned on its side, before I bought this one. But it's harder, more time-consuming, less comfortable, and less safe. Don't be like me). So here's a photo of my finishing press (also from Affordable Binding Equipment). I bought it so I could make backed books, but I use it for trimming too. The top part here has a narrow tapered section for backing, but if you flip it over it's totally flat, which is what you need for trimming. Not pictured: the stand that it came with for backing, or the c-clamps that I use to attach it to the desk for trimming. Again, though--this isn't a requirement for bookbinding. This is a later stage that's entirely optional. On the subject of backing, though:

You don't need special equipment to round the spines of your books, but you do for backing. Left image is the set of backing boards I got from, once again, Affordable Binding Equipment, and on the right is a backing hammer from Hollander's. Neither of these are essential. Even if you get the boards (which have to be used in a press with a tapered edge, like the one directly above) you can actually use a regular hammer as long as the front part has no scratches or gouges. This one is a backing hammer, the primary difference being that it has a wider, convex head than a regular household hammer, to make the kind of glancing blows needed for backing a little easier. Honestly, I'm still learning how to use these and I'm not very good with them yet. Comes of being self-taught, probably. I don't think youtube is the best vehicle for learning this part, but it's what I have and I'm making do. Not every book is going to benefit from backing, either; it's primarily for helping mitigate spine swell.

Okay, time for my favorite repurposed equipment hack.

It's bookends. Regular bookends that I've had for ages and that probably came from Ross or some other place that doesn't even sell craft supplies.

Want to keep the text block upright while you glue it? Bookends. Want to sew some custom end bands but your text block keeps falling over? Bookends. They won't provide pressure for squishing, but if you just need to hold something upright while you work on it, bookends are the answer. They hold up books, it's right there in the name. Having said that, you want some with a little weight to them, like these agate slices, so they won't slide around. And you want something with a smooth finished edge like these, so they won't scratch up your text block or leave dents. I have other sets but these are the only ones I use for this purpose, and they're better for it than anything else I've got.

Moving on from making the text block, let's look at what I use to make covers.

It's appeared in the background of most of the other photos, but here's a photo of just the desk surface covered in cutting mats. I really recommend a mat to protect the surface of your furniture and keep your knives from going immediately dull. I've got a big one that covers almost the full surface, and a small one for when I want to be more mobile. I started with just the small one and it was good until I started working with larger sheets of paper. The big one was bought largely for convenience but I have no regrets about it. They're self-healing, non-slip, and you can get them in the sewing section of any big craft store.

I'll be honest, I am not big on knives. I've got a regular box cutter for trimming board, and a razor knife for paper and cloth, and that's it. There are a lot of kinds and really all you need is one sharp blade for board. Paper and cloth can be cut with scissors if you want, though I find I get more consistently straight lines with the knives. Also pictured: Metal rulers and a T-square. You want a metal ruler for this. Plastic will flex and wood won't lay flat. Ideally you want one without a cork backing (my 18" one has this problem) and with the tick marks etched in rather than printed (my 12" one has this problem). For larger sheets of paper and cloth, the 18" one is great, but you can get by with the smaller one. The T-square is for making right angles; mine is plastic and only 12", and I really wish I had a longer one that was metal. These are drafting tools and you'll find them in the section of the craft store that has easels and sketch pads and they're usually pretty cheap.

This is an adjustable compass. You can probably get these at craft stores but I got mine on Amazon. It's for measuring hinge gaps and the width of spines, both essential for making sure your cover fits your text block and your hinges open the way they should. Both of those are incredibly frustrating situations, and this thing makes it so much easier to avoid them.

Things to spread glue with! Any old paintbrush will do, though I like to have a few different sizes and textures on hand to choose from. I like the big one for cover boards and casing in, the mid-size ones for doing turn-ins, and the little fellow for details and touch-ups. I don't care for foam brushes because I find them hard to clean when glue is involved, but if you like you can use those. The metal thing on the left is a micro-spatula, and I did have to special order it from an art supply place but it was cheap and it's very helpful to have on hand for when the brushes are too thick, for doing turn-ins on rounded spines, and for separating pages if you decide to learn edge foiling. Not essential, but recommended.

One thing I neglected to take a photo of is my crepe eraser. Despite the best intentions, no matter how careful you are, you will at some point get glue where you don't want it, where it will be visible on the finished book. This is where the crepe eraser comes in; you can use it to remove dried glue from cloth or (to a lesser extent) paper. Very annoyingly, none of the craft or art supply places I went to had even heard of these and I had to get mine from Amazon. It was cheap (under $10) and I strongly recommend getting one.

Once your cover is made, you have some options. You can leave it blank, hand-letter or draw an image, stamp it with ink or embossing powder, use a stencil, or do what I usually do these days and make a cover graphic from HTV. I've got a cricut for this (though they're not the only kind of cutting machine; it pays to research other brands) and a mini heat press (I want a bigger one, but I got this one cheap because the box is messed up). A lot of libraries have cricuts you can use, and you can use a regular iron to apply the HTV. Getting it to stick is a bit tricky, but that's true no matter which tools you use. Not pictured: a cutting mat, different than the kind shown above, necessary with most materials you can cut (mine came with one, they're about $20 at most craft stores, and they're lightly sticky to keep your materials in place while it's being cut). I don't know if other brands require them, but cricut does unless you're using their Smart Materials (I have never used these). If your library has a cutting machine, they will also have the appropriate cutting mats. Also not pictured: weeding tools. Weeding is when you remove the bits of HTV that you don't want in the final image, usually the spaces between letters and such. The negative space, if you want to get artsy. The special tools cricut sells aren't necessary, you can use an awl or needle and the dull edge of your knife blade, but I have a set of theirs and I like mine.

I didn't take a photo of it, but sometimes I use embossing inks and powder to make cover designs and text. You only need a heat gun for embossing powder, it takes up way less space than the cricut does, and it's cheaper. I got mine free from a family member so I don't know what it cost initially, but cutting machines are a really big expense; the cricut is my third most expensive piece of equipment, after the finishing press and the plow.

Good god I think that's everything. It sounds intimidating, I know. And it sounds like it takes up tons of space in your home, and to be honest it can, but it doesn't have to. The first dozen or so books I made, I made completely to my satisfaction with tools and materials that fit in one 12x16" moving box. If you love the hobby and can make the space, the bulkier items might be worth it down the line, but especially when you're first getting started it's smart to keep things low-cost and compact. Most of the basics are simple and your fellow bookbinders are delighted to share their shortcuts and substitutions if you ask.

The end! I hope it was helpful, @cardassianexpats! I did warn you it would be wordy, lol.

[rapha-reads]

To those of you wondering (aka no one), I finished both The Vampire Armand and Merrick and I have a lot of thoughts and feels. I'm skipping Blood and Gold for now to go directly to Blackwood Farm (I'll read B&G later), but first I'm going to read something else, just to take a break.

TVA thoughts: man, Armand is messed up. And extremely compelling. But so messed up. As always, the theme of faith crisis, which seriously reaches new heights with these bitchy vampires, is not something I can fully immerse myself in, but it was fascinating to see his numerous metamorphosis. I liked how he bridges Western and Eastern Christianisme, especially through art. Now I'm thinking that if Rolin Jones makes him originally Muslim in the show, that could expand even more the conversation on how faith, and especially Abrahamic faith, has been in conversation for thousands of years and could be such a rich, diverse and spiritual, intellectual and artistic theme. I can already imagine some fascinating discussions comparing (not in a superior way but in a complementary way) coming from Muslim faith to Roman Catholic faith, the way book!Armand talks about the richness of his life in Kiev Rus despite the poverty and ascetism, and the richness of his life in Venecia despite the luxury and abundance.

As for Benamin and Sybille... I don't have much thoughts about them. Sybille is one of those female characters AR seemingly favors, not so much human as a nymph or a dryad, "perfectly splendid". And Benji is a caricature of an Arab child. Nuance? 401 not found.

Merrick thoughts: David for the love if everything, shut. The. Fuck. Up. Holy moly. I like David, I do, but damn the entire recollection of his history with Merrick was looooooong. I'm here to see Louis haunted by Claudia and haunting Lestat's coma, not how hard you're pining for the kid you practically raised! Also. ALSO. You're just going to leave that whole thing with the Olmec or possibly another more ancient Mesoamerican civilisation without ever giving us more? That was the most interesting part of it all! The vodoo history, the connection between Louisiana and Caribbean vodoo and old Native South-American religions! More about this, less about Merrick's perfect breasts, I am begging you. (It is at this point that the reader of this post realises OP is 100% definitely ace and more interested in books and witchcraft than breasts and whether a 70yo man can still get it up - also, hey, Anne Rice's vampires are practically asexual and their lust and pleasure is mostly derivated from blood, with some notable exceptions like Armand and Marius, and a love relationship between two vampires is then based on romantic love and blood sharing, so can I hear a hell yeah for some ace representation or are we still conflating eroticism with sex)

Another thing I kept thinking about throughout the book is how Louis is perceived by his fellow vampires. Since basically the second book, since we've lost his own POV, everybody who's ever said anything about him (so Lestat, Armand and David) have insisted on two points: how very weak and meek Louis is, and also how irresistible, beautiful and charming. Granted, I've known Louis first through his portrayal on the show (hi Jacob you're so fiiiiiiine), and then through his own narration in the first book, but I've never had the impression that he was weak. Beautiful and seductive, yes. Weak? I see a human man going through tragedies and still enduring, going through vampiric transformation and then suffering for decades the loss of his humanity, struggling with reconciliating both sides of himself, but mostly I see a vampire who rebuilt himself after losing everything without sacrificing his sense of self. I see Louis as very strong actually (up to the point where resilience breaks, because resilience cannot be sustained on a long term, but that's another debate). He knows who he is, and don't you know how hard that is? He doesn't cling to faith or pride. He knows he's doomed, he knows he's monstrous, he knows there's nothing he can do to change that, and instead of railing against his fate, he goes on about his undead life. He gets his books and he reads them, he surrounds himself with literature and what little comforts he thinks in his shattered self-esteem he deserves (his ragged sweaters and soft trousers); let's not lie to ourselves tho, Louis doesn't like himself, or more exactly he doesn't care about his corporeal body - what matters to him is his mind, and once again, this author is extremely ace and also very aro and very nonbinary, so Louis to me is very much ace and agender coded, though really not aro, because his love for Lestat (and sometimes his fondness, shall we say, for Armand) is the only thing that can rouse him up from his literary slumber.

...

Oh, man, I have a lot to say about Louis, for how little he appears in the books so far. Still have BF, BC and the PL trilogy to devour. So I guess you can say, for as much as Lestat is occupying my entire brain, very much like him, my favorite is Louis? Yeah, that tracks. Melancholy, quiet, dark-haired green-eyed monster with more humanity than humans, preferring his solitude and the company of books to anyone else, hopelessly and helplessly devoted to one person, expert in brooding and grieving, literature specialist, not very attached to his physical self. Yeah. I'm not surprised.

[sysig]

Wake up somewhere better, maybe (Patreon)

[alectoperdita]

@millenniumblog, I hope you don't mind me putting this into a new posts but I figured it will be easier since links are not converted in tumblr replies and you can't click through them. (Also tagging your YGO sideblog since you mentioned it).

Based on the preferences you expressed, I suggest the following fics as an entryway into my kaijou catalog.

First, the non-smut ones:

what follows us in the dark (Rated T/Complete/3,046 words) - Post-DSOD fic where an amnesic Kaiba returns to a post-apocalyptic Domino and runs into Jounouchi. Jounouchi is not happy to see him still alive.

Meeting upon the threshold (Rated T/Complete/2,691 words) - An alienated post-DSOD Kaiba hops into the wrong dimension and inadvertently meets a version of himself in an established relationship with Jounouchi.

Paper Tigers (Rated T/Complete/36,155 words) - Not technically shippy, but also not entirely gen as it's labeled. This is a murder mystery where Jounouchi investigates Kaiba as the main suspect. Manga-only characterization so they are extra prickly toward each other. Tensions aplenty.

Stay With Me (Series Rated T/Complete/71,320 words) - Okay, bear with me here, but this is a super old series of mine. It's, in fact, one of the first things I ever wrote and finished. "Dark," modern no Millennium Items AU, that starts with Seto having lost to Noa, who rules the company and the Kaiba family as a tyrant. Again, this is 2003 fandom dark, so there's character deaths and suicide (not of the boys, though).

The smutty morsels:

Caged (Rated E/Complete/6,025 words) - This is an AU of Lure, namely they're older and Kaiba doesn't have direct power over Jounouchi in the same way as he does in Lure. He is still awful and emotionally manipulative. I think this could be a good way of testing if Lure itself is to your taste. If after reading this, you find you crave more and wouldn't mind a very heavy master/pet relationship between an initially coercive Kaiba and semi-reluctant Jounouchi, then you might like Lure.

(IMPORTANT: Breathplay is a reoccurring kink that shows up throughout Lure. I've always done my best to tag it, and it's on five of the 22 fics in the series. The most egregious and heavy use of it appears in Karma's gonna come collect your debts (it's Kaiba asking to be choked out specifically). Hopefully, that means you can skip those specific fics if you give the series a try.)

Duelist's Pride (Rated E/Complete/16,146 words)- Consensual non-consent/rape roleplay with Kaiba as the "victim" and Jounouchi the "aggressor." Their scenarios are pre-negotiated outside the story, so it dives right into the fantasy and Kaiba's headspace on the receiving in. There are occasional consent check-ins, and aftercare is depicted. I think of this as "have your cake and eat it" fic because I've written much of the internal character POV/dialogue as if it's a non-con story, but you know going in that everything is consensual kinky fun.

Maybe it's more than skin-deep (Series Rated E/Complete/104,568 words) - The spiritual predecessor to Lure lol. Post-DSOD Kaiba and Jounouchi start hooking up after seeing each other for the first time in a decade. Their encounters get progressively kinkier, and Kaiba can't help but be a bit of his unhinged possessive self. Nothing too heavy in this series, as Kaiba is aware of some of his more intense qualities, but he still can't turn them off completely.

How I think most people actually got/get into my fics:

Side Deck (Rated M/Complete/146,641 words) - A post Duel Monsters anime getting-together fic that covers their last year of high school together. A slowly budding romance within a more slice-of-life context. Not-DSOD compliant, but heavy on the canon foundation. If nothing else, I think it's my most popular fic?

[crowtrobotx]

What does karl do when Lottie is being a shit? Like I'm talking 2 year old tantrum over a problem that cannot be solved? This is assuming Kris is not there to be the #adult

Now, see, this is an interesting question. Because on the one hand, I think he himself is also a little shit and prone to tantrums. Like I truly think that in spite of his unhinged "we can use your baby as a weapon" moment he would actually get along with little kids very well, whether he intends to or not. On the other, I can also see him fumbling this situation so damn hard lol. I think his gut reaction in almost every scenario would be to try and fix it, even if it is one of those unsolvable problems you described. He's a fixer! A mechanic! An engineer! He solves things! Not enough live bodies to recruit into your revenge army? Reanimate them! Easy! And when it turns out he can't? Sit on the floor and scream with her! (They both tucker themselves out and fall asleep.) In all seriousness, though, I think the first few times it happens he probably doesn't react well. He's probably in her face unintentionally yelling like "WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT" which only makes her freak out harder. I'm not so far gone into my Heisendad delusions to think he wouldn't have a learning curve to get over, like any parent. It's just that in his case it's less a learning curve with specific regard to children and more just... general human interaction, lol. He doesn't like seeing her sad/upset at all, and once he thoroughly fucks it up a few times he starts getting a better hang of it. He starts being goofy and trying to make her laugh, or he just lets her wail it out (I can see him being one of those 'she's EXPRESSING HERSELF!' dads who refuses to intervene in truly unhinged behavior) bc frankly he likes to yell and swear when he's upset and he always feels better for it! However, in one of those ridiculous "reasons my toddler is crying" situations where she becomes like, inconsolable because he informs her that he has a real name other than Papa lol I think he'd probably. Panic. As I said, his natural urge is to invent/fix, and as the hysteria over not being Lottie's favorite person for even a moment mounts he'd start doing utterly wild shit. He goes around the village demanding everyone start referring to him only as Papa, not Karl or Heisenberg or even Lord Heisenberg. (Everyone thinks it's a freaky sex thing but in reality he's just desperate for a 2 year old's approval.)

[shallowseeker]

SHAL YOU NO LIKE ROBBIE?!

TBH, I don't care as much about the writers. (I know--eternal shame. I'm not even a real fan--kill me now etc.) I just...don't remember things. I always have to remind myself who's doing what. I don't know how half of you keep it all straight AND remember episode titles??? And no, nooooo I like Robbie just fine. Love him, even. He’s in my top choices!!!!

I just consider him something of a specialist, maybe? I'm going off vibes, remember. I feel like Robbie is a long-winded, loveable teddy bear. His writing reminds me of comic books, which could be why it feels so fraught and verbose at times, like it's crammed into a speech bubble...? Idk.

I think a lot of his characters are also a bit...it's hard to put my finger on it, exactly. Wholesome? They're so Loveable (TM) and Dorky (TM). I find it stifling sometimes to stomach all the "pluckiness" at once. It even took me awhile to warm up to his characters in The Winchesters. (Don't hit me! Maybe I just have a bad personality.)

I think you'd want him on your team for sure. He did Goodbye Stranger and other wonderful things like Metatron's speech in Don't Call Me Shurley (which was also belabored at times but greatly helped by Curtis Armstrong)! It's a type of energy I find leaning "too meta," and "too mechanistic" at times. The best example I can think of is There's No Place Like Home. I like it in pieces, but as a whole, it seems a little too self-aware sometimes. But not in a fun Ghostfacers way? It's hard to describe.

I...can't imagine Robbie creating an Alastair or a Uriel, or even a Meg...but maybe I'm forgetting something.

////

Maybe it's Ben Edlund's intellectual(TM) vibe that makes his Sam and Cas more to my liking? Idk. I feel like, since Sam's the only one still alive, getting Sam right would be key to the whole thing hanging together in a sequel. Anyway, I feel like his work in Reading is Fundamental is legitimately Ecclesiastical because he can be more wry/philosophical/satirical. I'm biased--I like philosophy!

He can do entire standalone narrations which are just as “long” but it doesn’t feel so…templated, somehow? It usually just hits better for me, personally. Sometimes he lurches into being too poetic for my liking, too, especially in season 8. But overall, I dig. Meredith can infuse his stuff with some much-needed warmth. It all makes sense in my head!

I think he's at his best when he's being sarcastic and when the action is so fast-paced he doesn't have much time to get stuck doing word-acrobatics. His good guys are conflicted, and his bad guys are really oily. He lets the characters be mean and surly. He can be as deeply fucked up as Sera Gamble when he wants to be (Repo Man????)

////

I can find something I like in most of the writers, even Bucklemming. They have some great devil's advocate lines and political stuff in their scripts, once you comb past the racism, fetishism, and weird pacing.

////

I'm not above keeping Sera Gamble in a cage and letting her out to contribute random, unhinged things. Something is deeply, deeply wrong with her, and that translates well to a good dose of fucky-uppy-ness and incredible pain, which I think Robbie can tend to sleep on a little bit. (Dream a Little Dream of Me, Houses of the Holy?? SO GOOD.)

////

Others? Bobo does some great stuff, but sometimes I find his back-and-forth dialogue to be a little off? I even think something felt off with Cas's speech in Despair as much as I applaud the effort. Steve Yockey does an excellent Rowena.

Also, I'd let Amanda Tapping direct everything. Just because.

////

Mostly, I think they should just hire @angelsdean 🤷  and @jewishtrentcrimm -- I followed them during their live tweeting reactions of The Winchesters and mostly longed for their ideas over what was happening on screen.

////

Most importantly, it’d need a shortform writer in the wings whose job it is to take all the long-winded ppl's excellent monstrosities and chop it to bits and couch it in the right voice with the right amount of prickly subterfuge and defensiveness. A vicious, short-form editor who values brevity and would kill me inside...

Also, we’d need an official meta wrangler, because the meta can start to eat itself and really devolve if you're not careful (I think this is Robbie's Achilles' Heel in some of his stuff; it walks the line reeeeeally close for me in "There's No Place Like Home," for example, but I've come around to "Fan Fiction.")

////

I am...quite happy to be corrected. Knowing who does what well is NOT my specialty.

[apatheticlexicographer]

MOTHERFUCK i did not realize how much those antidepressants made me feel physically psychologically and dare i say spiritually like a peat mummy

literally 2 days off them and i've experienced more joy, lucidity, motivation and general good vibes than i did in the whole 2 months i was on them 😭😭

[sevicia]

give me the movie recs instead! scary is ok

LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Under a read more cause I looove talking, and the sections are ordered by like, priority of recommendation if that makes sense ... I also tried 2 actually rank them but I am not very good @ that LOL

Personal Enjoyment ONLY!!!:

No theme besides personal enjoyment "just for fun"/not relatable edition:

The Batman - I love it I just love it. I watched it bc my sister put it on and my pen's battery had run out. I was CLUELESS

Spree - That's my attention whore wife that would kill me for views !!!!!!

Jacob's Ladder - The best fever dream anyone could ever ask for !!! Everything about this movie is perfect. And this doesn't really matter TOO much ....... BUT …….. !!!! Tim Robbins in short shorts towards the end .......... save meeeee .................

Antiviral - I rewatched this one just before writing this LOL. It made me crazy when I first saw it back in 2022 and it makes me crazy now too!! The entire movie feels cold & sterilized but it's still Completely Sexual. Syd March I know what you are. OH also I like to think Mr. Cronenberg Sir is proud of his son bc this ruuuuules

Martyrs - This is like the ultimate "can't rec it as-is" movie bc of the amount of people that are genuinely disturbed by it & don't get me wrong I am one of them!! But there's just something here that has me thinking about it so often. The violence is amazing and the feeling in my stomach is horrible every time !!

No theme besides personal enjoyment mental illness edition:

Pulse (AKA Kairo) - Extremely close to my heart, the way loneliness relates to the internet & technology in general is such an interesting topic it would be enough to make this movie stand out for anyone, but I have such a personal fondness for it because of how much I felt it understood me. In a few ways.

Pearl - IDGAF how many people have gone "just like me fr" cause I am also one of them. I don't get the whole "female rage" thing that gets mentioned a ton (on account of me being some guy), but the theme of never being able to escape a life you hate ??? Absolutely fucking terrifying & hits super hard for me specifically

What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? - The RESENTMENT, the ANGER, the DESPAIR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It resonated w/ me a lot more in the past but not so much anymore, which is good LOL

HORROR!! YAY!!:

Horror SERIOUS edition:

The Thing - certified classic I legit think everyone should watch this one at least once in their lives. The practical effects r amazing, the story is GRIPPING & many of the actors r hot. Literally what else could u ask for…..

Hellraiser - Huge DUH ….. The short story is so good too Mr. Clive Barker I owe you my life !!!!!

The House That Jack Built - Pretentious, yes! But also really fun/satisfying to watch. I've seen some people comment on this kinda movie being typical for the director? But IDK who that man is & I don't care either. Like at all.

Ringu - Just a classic. So creepy I have to hype myself up to watch it LOL

Persona - INSAAAAANE INSANE INSANE. I saw someone say it's toxic yuri which like. Yeah I think. But also it left me confused in a rly good way

Noroi: The Curse - honestly should be self-explanatory @ this point. GENUINELY scared the shit outta me

Repulsion - Also a drama (besides a horror), the way the main character's paranoia escalates is just .... haunting, I think is the word. There's some degree of irony in here, because of who the director is, that I can't really articulate.

Gorefest / not too serious:

Creep - INSANE found footage about a guy making decisions that seem questionable if not stupid to most people, but not to me. I understand him. (disclaimer that this one could also go in the prev. category ..... I don't knowwww)

Intruder - I was on a slasher kick a few years back and this was one of the better ones. The convenience store setting is so much fun & something I'd never seen before! Or since.

Rec - SOOOO anxiety inducing, there's a lot of moments where people r talking/yelling over each other & the part towards the end that explains the whole thing is just. 0_0. to me. Bc it's among the top 3 things I do NOT fuck with !!! (same disclaimer as w/ Creep).

Hostel - I actually really like this one & don't understand most of the criticisms besides the obvious misogyny. It irks me a lot that it gets called "torture porn" so often when it's just … not that bad ? As edgy as that sounds !!

Cube - go there. in the cube? go in the cube.

The Poughkeepsie Tapes - Zero excuses for this one, you just gotta embrace your shit taste sometimes

Terrifier - Separate from the 2nd one cause that one is different in more than a few ways ..... but this one is just like charming to me in a weird way. It 's fucking filthy like, visually tho cause of the abandoned building & other such things ....

Terrifier 2 - This one I also enjoyed a lot though it IS really really long, I found it fun! The whole family aspect of it I liked a lot bc fictional siblings my beloved :3 though Art's backstory is still rly muddy (4 me at least) I do think it's like, a fun silly slasher if you've got 2 hrs and a lot of patience LOL

Just fun overall!!:

YAY!!!!!!!!!:

ROBOTS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Oh my GOD I love this movie. I love this movie so much it's probably my favorite childhood movie. It's funny as fuck, really pretty AND has a good story. IK it may sound like nostalgia's involved but I just truly believe it's an amazing movie<3

Birds of Prey - This one is just a serotonin machine for me I love Harley so so muchh

Wendell & Wild - Visually insane I looove the look of this movie. It's also just rly enjoyable, I watched it multiple times at one point since it's on Netflix I think ? My mom got sick of it LOL

Bottoms - Absolutely bonkers it's such a fun movie. Gay and untalented and ugly and yet one of the most lovable movies I've ever seen ?? They need to print more of these

A Trip to Infinity - This one's actually a documentary on um. Infinity. Which is lovely because watching scientists be enthusiastic about their work and gush about it is just so good for my brain + it made me cry

The nostalgia I have 4 these ones is craaazy:

The Butterfly Effect - this was on TV SO OFTEN it was insane. I watched it so many times as a kid I always insisted on not changing the channel

The Voices - SO fun & silly I think of it so fondly .....

Paranorman - I love this movie so so much forever it's just so beautiful & funny

Zombieland - It's just fun man IDK what else to tell u

Sucker Punch - Another one that was often on TV, it's just embedded in my memory forever. I learned what a lobotomy was bc of this movie!!

MISC!!!:

These are dramas !!:

Parasite - Just watch it if u haven't. Everyone says you should watch it and they're RIGHT !!!

The Devils - I love horny church stuff so much

Let the Right One In - fucking loved this one. Freezing cold, very pretty AND probably the best vamp movie I've ever seen. Though I haven't seen a lot

Girl, Interrupted - insane behavior from the girls here but they're literally in a psych ward so who cares

These r good but I don't remember them much SOB:

The Eyes Of My Mother - this one gets called slow/boring a lot but I really don't gaf I still liked it

Wolf Creek 1 + 2

The Descent

Phenomena - The 1st game of the Clock Tower series was based on/inspired by this movie! Nothing else 2 say I just think it's cool lol

American Mary

A Clockwork Orange - I watched this nearly an entire decade ago but it goes here because of the fact that sometimes I still hear that dumb cunt Alex DeLarge go "I've suffered, and I've suffered, and I've suffered!" inside my head a lot. Also I have to mention that he did look good beaten up despite everything going on w/ him.

[gender-euphowrya]

when one of my ex-fav youtubers replies to a comment i made to address him casually dropping n-slurs saying i don't know what lead them to this but it's not right and all he's got to say to me is "i had covid"

[fromaliminalspace]

1-5, 14, 21 for the year end asks :3

hi, thank you so much for asking, really!! and apologizes in advance for such long answers, as you can see, i'm just being “a bit” indecisive, hopefully I won't bore you too much with it!

1. Song of the year?

(for real, why such a seemingly simple question turned out to be the most difficult one. it's impossible to choose just one!)

czxcohjkhv okay, the first to come to mind is "Stargazer" by Rainbow, so gonna go with it. the drum intro, the sheer onomatopoeia that Ronnie's vocal approach always is, the astonishing guitar solo that practically spoilers the plot by being so evocative as well, the fucking intensity that this song is overflowing with??? I can never be normal about it, just can't. about their “Catch the Rainbow” (live 1977 Munich version specifically) neither. most ethereal ballad ever (and nope, Blackmore's solos don't even ruin the “balladiness” of it, just add to the vibe).

out of Black Sabbath's songs, i'm very much torn between Children of the Sea, Die Young, The Sign of the Southern Cross, After All (The Dead), Time Machine, Sins of the Father. and out of Dio's own stuff — Like the Beat of a Heart, My Eyes, Evil on Queen Street, Evilution, As Long As It's Not About Love, Shame on the Night. hhhng they're all too good, how am I supposed to choose anything, even one per band.

when it comes to music that doesn't have anything to do with RJD (yeah, I have been listening to it this year. sometimes), I still can't get enough of Queensrÿche's “Take Hold of the Flame” (especially live in Tokyo 1984). *in loud whisper* but also “The Story of One Sky” by Dimash, “Until It Sleeps” by Metallica (whoops accidentally became obsessed with it years after first hearing it), “Incense and Myrrh” by Arch/Matheos, and “Between Two Worlds” by Uriah Heep. (can you tell how tricky it is to choose just one..?) and out of this actual year's releases (but tbh I haven't really been keeping up) most memorable was Liliac's “Carousel” or Metallica's “Screaming Suicide”.

and the most satisfying one to play on guitar is definitely “the Last in Line”, it's a literal dopamine feast for my brain for some reason.

2. Album of the year?

have admittedly been listening more to live performances than to studio recordings this year so it'd be easier to just list specific concerts but gonna try pick a latter one after all. actually I think the album i've most often listened to from start to finish is “Lock up the Wolves”, it just flows very nicely in its entirety. the second place would likely be the masterpiece that is “Heaven and Hell”. as for the album that's made me spin it in my head most intensely it's “Magica” bc it's a concept one but in the least straightforward manner possible.

3. Favorite musical artist / group you started listening to this year?

my most prominent discovery of the year was probably Fates Warning (and their more modern incarnation Arch/Matheos), I believe. or Jethro Tull (and nope, I legit haven't even heard about them until recently, what of it).

but there's also a musician who's basically defined this year for me and whose voice i've been listening to almost daily (and who probably needs no introduction at this point). I have by no means only started listening to him this year though (c'mon, Blind Guardian cover of “Don't Talk to Strangers” was literally one of the very first songs to get me into metal in the first place; and my most favorite Sabbath song, back when I didn't give a damn about different lineups and was just vibing to the songs I liked most regardless of their albums, was from the Dio era). the difference is that only last December I first heard a live recording of his voice and was overwhelmed by the unparalleled level of intensity in it. bc ultimately his magic is so much more than just his voice, it's the laser-pointed intention behind every single word and the multi-layered thought-provoking lyrics and the everything hiding between the lines and the neverending love and generosity. it's not even sth easily convertible into words so i'd probably better stop being insufferable about him right here and now but the point is that Ronnie has had such a huge impact on my life that goes beyond anything that I ever thought any musician or even just anyone who i've never technically gotten to meet would be capable of having. but this impact has in fact helped heal sth very deep down so just... yeah.

4. Movie of the year?

i'll probably go with “predestination” (2014). there's just sth very intricate in all the levels of meaning in that movie, and especially in the way the main character is queer and their queerness is used of all things as a metaphor for quite a lot of interesting stuff. ngl I do have some issues with this movie but honestly considering that the short story it's based on was written in the fucking 50s and was still focusing on it is impressive already despite its flaws (also I love how the movie extrapolated and expanded on the original premise).

the most rewatched movie this year though would definitely be the “dreamers never die” documentary, no contest here (not crying at the very end of it is a challenge I always fail tbh).

oh and a honorable mention to “Nimona”, really loved that one.

5. TV show of the year?

realized only now that I haven't really watched lots of tv shows this year, huh. I think the only thing I did watch was the second season of “shadow and bone” and that's it, even though there's lots of other stuff i've been meaning to catch up with.

14. Favorite book you read this year?

answered there!

21. What’s something new about your place of residence (room, home, or general location) now vs the start of the year?

hmm i've got a new pin board, does it count?? it's bigger than my old one (and made from a different material, which turned out to be better) but i'm somehow already running out of space on it XD it was nice though to rearrange everything on it in a more systematic way rather than just slapping new bits of paper onto whenever I found a free spot (and to add Silvy's gifts there💜).

another new (like. literally last week new) thing is actually on my computer but it's sth i've been wishing for for literal years so it gets a mention anyway and it's an amp simulator. bc to be able to just plug my guitar in and build up the sound I want from scratch (well, not necessarily, there are tons of presets, it's just a very rare one that sounds well enough with solos imho) and have so much control over it, even over how much distortion I get depending on how hard I hit the strings? it's divine, i'm telling you. took me a while to figure out what exactly I need but damn, it's just so freaking awesome

[rapha-reads]

Holy moly, I've just reached the halfway point of season 2 episode 1 and I already have 15k words of notes.

Welp, the season 2 rewatch is going to be full of three- or even four-parters!

I'm going to finish watching the second half of episode 1 and start posting my notes in a couple of days, I'm too tired to keep focusing right now. I cannot do short to save my life, lmao.

[lookedlikethebins]

SUPRISE!

I didn't do the work i needed to do yet tonight BUT

I did just finish a draft of an angsty ~5k mostly-internal-george-narrative gatty-centric fic WHICH MEANS

i'm going to do some actual work and then (after like, maybe a nap?) revise, edit, and then post her!!

(also, new rule, per that lovely anon from this past weekend: i'm not going to think too hard about this; i wanted to write this so i did!! and i always end up writing a really prosey/emo/basically committing every single one of my self-indulgent writing habits in a fic--and they get mixed reviews but man, y'all have been so nice and encouraging and forgiving i'm just going to do it!! and if you like it, that's very sick and awesome thank you ily and if it's not your cup of tea thank you for even glancing at it. i'll be back with regularly scheduled programming soon.)

anyway... now i'm going to go uhhh, edit an entire manuscript of a book that so far is not my cup of tea... wish me luck. ty and gn x

[asiananeurysm]

.

[varjopeura]

.

[marblesouled]

darling, i've decided i'm going to be frightfully bold from now on