#long before i realised i probably had adhd

[isca-rambles]

Thanks for the tag @zadien and @midnight-canvas! Rules: without naming them, post a gif from ten of your favorite films and then tag ten people to do the same. (now to spend an hour trying to remember anything I like because the second someone asks, everything I've ever watched vanishes from my head)

(honestly so surprised there were even gifs of this one on here)

Special mention to the last two films here, which I have only watched a few of times (the last I've watched exactly twice and I'm not sure I can watch again) but are just utterly beautiful films. Devastating and very painful, the last especially so, but still beautifully done. Yes I know this isn't 10 I can't narrow anything down, especially when it comes to animated films. Had to exclude any animated Disney or I'd never be finished here. I'm already regretting some of the films I'm only now just remembering but this is a bit of a wider spread of my likes. Spent half an hour thinking of a single film and then I get to 10 and suddenly I remember ALL OF THEM! Anyway, tagging @silverskull, @moderatelydelusional, @sisterofficerlucychen, @chenfordsbee and whoever else wants to do it don't make me count again!

[livin4woso]

Silent until spoken too-(arsenal x adhd! Reader)

Summary- growing up reader has always been told that they talk too much or too loud so when transferring to a new team they decide to take a new approach dont speak unless spoken too. Yet it only takes the young aussie to break the readers doubts and the rest of the team follow in persuit.

It was a fresh start for you but this time you need to make a good impression. The words of your mother rang in your thoughts,'no one likes the loud girl' it was something as much as you tried to explain she never understood your talkative behaviour or uncontrollable volume when you speak.

It was when you were 18 that you were finally diagnosed with adhd it was like a weight lifted of your shoulders that you never knew you were carrying to begin with. Knowing this information gave you clarity of why you did certain things yet you still could never justify them and you let the words of ignorant others to swirl in your mind.

Don't be the loud annoying one. Instead, be the opposite. Be silent until spoken too.

The first day of training had arrived quickly and you sat and hyped yourself up in your car to get all of your pent up energy out as you couldn't get rid of it by talking someones ear off then you had to do it some other way. You made your way into the changing room to be introduced to all the sqaud, which was relatively quick and filled with hand shakes and a few hi's and normal chat.

Until you reached the young aussie midfielder, she was a little bit older than you as you were just freshly 20, and she was 22, but there was something different about her a welcoming energy. "Hi, im kyra, but you probably know that.. wait, unless you didnt sorry i shouldn't assume" the words tumble out her mouth at rapid pace yet too you it was the perfect speed. "Hi im y/n nice to meet you" you say back holding your hand out "also i do know that you're kyra so don't worry" you reply letting go of her hand before making your way to your cubby to put on your boots.

Training began, and the negative thoughts still swirled in your mind each time you began to get more talking, which caused you to shut down into silence again, giving people one or two word answers. Yet eachtime you were with kyra you forgot all those doubts and it was if she just knew how to make you talk.

As you walked into lunch the words speeding out your mouth as fast as they could and your conversation getting gradually louder without you realising until one of the older girls commented "y/n can you stop shouting please the person you're talking to is right next to you not a mile away" lia said not meaning any harm but it sends you spiraling that if one person thinks that then soon enough everyone else will "oh right yeah im sorry" you respond in barley over a whisper while toying with the braclet on your wrist.

"Erm im sorry I'll leave you be now you probably want to talk to your other friends" you say to kyra with a forced smile as your thoughts consume you "no its okay come sit with us im sure they would love you and i like listening to you its fun" she said grabbing your hand and dragging you to the table where lessi and vic sat so there wasn't much of a choice.

Dinner was great, and it felt like you could speak without worrying that you are talking too much. Then came something slightly worse there was a pre training meeting which was going to cover what you were doing for the next couple weeks and important dates. Its not that you hate meetings but trying to sit still for so long without irritating the person next to you was the challenge.

The meeting dragged. Well, for you, it did that one hour felt like a year and of course being new you were sat right at the front next to kim and leah so you had to be on your best behavior. It started off okay. You could focus when jonas was talking, then you heard the clock tick, and that was all you could focus on. Then, about 20 minutes in your legs started bouncing, but that wasn't enough, so you started playing the finger drums on your thigh until kim gave you a death stare from next to you. After 40 minutes you'd zoned out completely just staring at the board as you let your thoughts wander you knew you shouldn't have but you couldn't help that you either had the attention span of a goldfish or could only pay attention to one thing.

The meeting had ended, and that's when leah snapped you out of your trance by waving her hand over your face "oi y/n, were you even listening to what i was saying.. the meetings over, " she said."Oh right, yeah, my bad, sorry, I'll get ready to go home, " you said, staring up at her, but as you were about to leave the room, she stopped you.

"Look i dont know whats going on but next time you need to pay more attention you were distracted the whole time and it might just have been nerves becauses it your first day but next time just be more aware" she said in a serious tone yet it had a hint of politeness to it as she meant well. However, at this point, you knew you couldn't hide your adhd forever, and it would give you a reason for your behaviour. "Oh right im sorry erm its my adhd its just hard to pay attention in meetings when i dont have something to fidget with but next time I'll be more prepared" you say your voice laced with worry waiting for her response.

"Well, why didn't you just tell us in the beginning we would have been much more accommodating for you" she says smiling back. "Honestly im not sure its just hard to talk about" you say back.

Since that conversation with leah, life and arsenal had become so much easier, and unlike the words of others, being the loud girl isn't so bad after all. You can't be the annoying one when you accompany yourself in people who don't find you annoying.

[ale-wosofan]

broken

Alexia x R

R is struggling but she’s not sure why or how to fix it. Will she finally be honest with her girlfriend about how she’s feeling?

warnings: little bit of angst (+fluff), implied adhd

a/n: English is not my first language (I’m aware how much of a cliché that is) so there might be some mistakes; feel free to correct them :) Here I talk about my personal experience with adhd, please don’t use this to self-diagnose, as it is not the same for everyone. Enjoy!

-----

The first time you feel that there’s something wrong with you, you’re at home with your girlfriend.

“Hey, princesa. Have you seen that there’s a new season of that TV show you like?” Alexia asks you once you’ve sat down on the sofa.

“Oh, I didn’t know,” you shrug settling on top of your girlfriend and kissing her cheek.

Alexia looks a little surprised at your answer but starts running her hands up and down your back nonetheless.

“How come? I thought you said it was, and I’m quoting you, the best show you’ve ever seen.”

But you don’t answer. You don’t really know what happened, you’re just not that passionate about that particular show anymore. You had been interested for a few months; had watched all the interviews, bloopers, deleted scenes, but now you just didn’t like it as much anymore. You’ve had a few intense months thinking and talking about the show almost every minute of every day so you probably just need time away from it now that all that initial intensity has worn off.

You don’t realise how much time you’ve been quiet until Alexia speaks again.

“Amor?” you hum in acknowledgement urging her to continue “are you okay?”

“Yeah, just got a little distracted,” you answer shuffling around a little bit trying to get comfortable.

After a couple of minutes moving around you can’t seem to settle. You sigh and sit up feeling Alexia’s eyes on you the entire time.

“So, have you finished the work you had to do?” your girlfriend asks while putting her feet on your lap.

“No, not yet. But I really needed a break.”

Alexia looks up at you surprised.

“¿De verdad? I thought it was supposed to be something easy. You’ve been working for almost two hours.”

You frown. There’s no way it’s been two hours, right? That can’t be possible. But when you look at your watch you realise that it really has been two hours. You have spent all that time in your office and haven’t been able to finish a relatively simple task.

“Today is not my day, I guess,” you say rubbing your hands on your face with frustration “I’m a little distracted today, I can’t seem to concentrate on anything.”

But it wasn’t just today, and you knew that. It was something that had been going on for a while. You couldn’t exactly pinpoint when it had started to happen, but it got bad after the quarantine. You were on your second year of college when the pandemic occurred. You spent a few months studying online, a few months that felt like a bliss to you despite everything that was happening in the world. But you had to come back to class eventually. And it was fine; until it wasn’t. Every time you tried to pay attention to class you got distracted and couldn’t focus on what the teachers were saying for more than a few minutes at a time. When you had projects to do you couldn’t bring yourself to work on them and waited until the last day to get them done. Studying suddenly became a torture since you couldn’t concentrate for long. What once used to take you ten minutes, now it took an hour.

And the thing is you still don’t understand why. You don’t know what’s wrong with you now that wasn’t before. It hadn’t really bothered you before, you’d been able to deal with it for some time. But now it feels like it just keeps getting worse with each passing day. Deep down you know you need help, and you know you should talk to someone about this, but you don’t feel ready to. Not yet.

“How about you keep working on it tomorrow? And we can relax for the rest of the say. We can have a nice bath and then order some food. How does that sound?”

You smile at your girlfriend. How did you ever get so lucky?

“Yeah, I’d really like that.”

-----

The second time you feel that there’s something wrong with you, Alexia had just come home from training.

When you hear the door front open and your girlfriend call out for you, you’re lying on your bed scrolling through social media.

You get up and go say hello to her.

“Hi, baby,” you greet her opening your arms for a hug.

“Hola, mi amor.”

She takes a step back from your embrace, places her hands on your cheeks and kisses you passionately. And just as quickly as it had started she was pulling away.

“Hi,” you repeat feeling yourself blush.

“Hi,” your girlfriend answers kissing your forehead “I’m going to take a shower.”

You blink slowly taking a few seconds to get yourself together, being quickly interrupted by Alexia calling your name from the bedroom.

You make your way there but stop in your tracks in the door frame when you realise why your girlfriend had called for you.

“Princesa, what happened here?”

You give her a smile that you’re pretty sure turns out looking more like a grimace.

“Okay so, I wanted to rearrange some of the books-”

“Again?”

“-but then I wasn’t sure if I wanted to organize them by colour or by genre, so I decided to watch a video to decide. But then I got distracted by another video and kind of forgot what I was doing in the first place, so I just laid down and waited for you to come home,” you answer honestly giving your girlfriend a sheepish smile.

Alexia looks at you in deep thought.

“Okay, how about this? I take a shower and get into some comfortable clothes and once I’m done I’ll help you with all this.”

You sometimes wonder how someone so perfect like the woman in front of you exists.

“Or, we could shower together and then work on the bookshelf together as well,” you suggest smirking.

Your girlfriends lets out a chuckle and kisses your cheek.

“Nice try, but if we do that we might never be able to come out of the shower.”

Once your girlfriend is out of sight you take a look at all the books splattered around the room. The state of the place is certainly overwhelming and it just stresses you out more. Where are you supposed to start?

You sigh and sit down on the bed.

You should’ve finished this before Alexia got here. You’d had more than enough time to do it, so why couldn’t you just focus on your task like everyone else instead of getting distracted with everything? Now your girlfriend had to help you out instead of resting after the long day she probably had.

You rub your hands on your face in frustration. It really isn’t supposed to be that hard right?

“Yeah, I’m just a little lazy sometimes,” you whisper to no one in particular before getting up.

-----

The third time you feel that there’s something wrong with you, you’ve just gotten to your house from work.

When you arrive home you’re exhausted.

Stepping into the house the first thing you notice is the Spanish music playing in the background and the smell of your favourite meal being cooked.

Walking into the kitchen you are welcomed by the sight of your girlfriend wearing one of your old shirts dancing and cooking.

“Hi, love.”

She turns around at the sound of your voice and looks at you with a lovesick smile.

“Hola, princesa,” she quickly answers opening her arms for you to hug her, which you happily do “How was your day?”

You step out of her embrace and give her a kiss before making a face.

“It could’ve been better,” you tell her honestly.

You sit in one of the stools while your girlfriend resumes her cooking duties keeping an eye on you the whole time.

“¿Por qué? Did anything happen?”

“No, nothing in particular,” you pause, deciding whether or not to continue “Although there’s a new project I’ve been working on, which is obviously really exciting, but I’ve spent all morning busy with it; emailing people, setting the different dates for it, planning meetings and all that.”

Alexia completely turns around to look at you and nods urging you to keep talking.

“I just-” you sigh frustrated “I suddenly got hungry, right? And I looked at the time and realised that it was already pretty late and I hadn’t eaten lunch yet, so I went to grab a sandwich to the shop nearby. Then, on the way back I went past that bookstore I really like so I decided to have a look around for a bit to relax, and I ended up buying that book I told you came out yesterday.”

Your girlfriend’s frown deepens.

“Isn’t that a sequel to a book you haven’t read yet?”

“Yes,” you whisper a little embarrassed “I know it was a stupid decision, but I really wanted to buy it in that moment. Then I just felt bad because I had spent money on something I don’t even know if I’ll like.”

You feel yourself blush at the admission and hide your face in your hands.

“Hey,” you hear your girlfriend quietly say in your ear while she wraps her arms around your waist “There’s really no need to be embarrassed, ¿vale? You bought something you wanted after having a fairly stressful day at work. I promise you it’s not the end of the world, mi amor.”

With each word she says you begin to slowly relax in her arms.

You turn around and take her face in your hands.

“How do you always know what to say?”

“Because I love you and I know you better than I know myself,” she answers placing a kiss in your nose “Now you’re going to take a shower, we’re going to have dinner and then we’re gonna cuddle while watching a film. Tomorrow will be a better day, princesa, I promise.”

You nod although you don’t fully believe it.

-----

When you finally lay down to watch TV with your girlfriend you can’t seem to settle. Your mind is working really fast and you’re starting to get a little bit restless.

You haven’t really thought about it until now, but what if there is something actually wrong with you? What if it isn’t just a bad day? What if all the sleepless nights, the impulsivity, the difficulty staying focused for too long and the racing thoughts are all somehow connected? There’s no way, you or someone around you would’ve realised sooner. Right?

You feel Alexia’s eyes on you when you stop the show you’re watching.

You try not to think about it too much and begin to speak.

“Do you think there’s something wrong with me?”

“What do you mean?” she asks confused.

“Never mind. Just ignore what I’ve said,” you answer shaking your head and laying down on top of your girlfriend again.

“Hey, no. None of that,” Alexia sits up with you in her lap and takes your face on her hands “What’s going on? Talk to me, please,” she begs worried.

Looking at her you realise that this is your partner, the person you’re building your future with. You are aware this is a tough thing to talk to her about but there’s no one you trust more in this world. She is your home.

“I've been feeling really overwhelmed lately, like my mind is always racing and I can't seem to focus on anything for long. I mean, it actually started a while ago, but it’s just been getting worse. I’m not sure how to explain it,” you confess.

Your girlfriend takes both of your hands and smiles encouragingly at you.

“Try. I’m listening and whatever it is I’m here for you, okay? Always, te lo prometo.”

“Okay, so, have you notice how I always seem to jump from one thing to another without actually finishing anything? I've tried making to-do lists and setting reminders, but nothing seems to work. And that’s just one of the things, you know? But it’s also not being able to sit still for more than five minutes and acting always so impulsive. And it's starting to affect everything I do. I just-” you take a deep breath “I’m always so frustrated. I just want to be able to be like everyone else, but it's like my brain is wired differently.”

“How long has this been going on?” Alexia asks concerned.

“I don’t know. A few months, I think.”

Your girlfriend lets go of your hands and holds your face instead making you look into her eyes.

“Mi amor, listen to me. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. Yes, your brain may work a little bit different but that doesn’t mean you’re stupid or broken, ¿vale? It's okay to feel overwhelmed, and it's good that you're talking about it. But I really need you to understand that. What do you want to do now?”

“I’m not sure, I wasn’t even planning on telling you to be honest,” you admit feeling yourself blushing.

“Maybe it could be helpful to talk to a professional about all of this?” Alexia suggest “Whatever you feel comfortable doing.”

You shrug and hide your face on her neck.

“Yeah, I guess. You promise me you’re not going anywhere?”

Your girlfriend kisses your forehead before answering.

“I'm here for you no matter what, we will figure this out. Thank you for sharing this with me, princesa.”

“Thank you for listening to me,” you whisper just for the two of you “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

-----

Maybe I'll write a sequel to this but I'm not really sure. Let me know what you think! <3

[captn-trex]

oldest trick in the book

Hardcase x F!Reader

word count: 3.4k

description: you've been secretly pranking hardcase as payback for a prank he pulled on you, but this time he catches you in the act

warnings/tags: friends to lovers I suppose, hardcase is a smug little shit at the beginning & a little bit adhd-coded, reader is described as shy/anxious and potentially also neurodivergent in some way but I wasn't writing it to be like that on purpose am I telling on myself? I feel like this is very cheesy lol

a/n: alright. I wouldn’t say this is my best work but I just needed to get it out of my system. this definitely took a more sweet turn than I was anticipating, probably because I didn't plan it at all and just pulled it outta my ass. I blame @ghostymarni making me thirst for this man to a concerning degree

masterlist | join my taglist | read on ao3

Perhaps if anyone knew what you were doing, they’d think it was weird, and honestly, maybe it was.

You tiptoed into the barracks, your footfalls light and ear reaching out in search of any noises. You knew there shouldn’t be anyone in here at this time, but it didn’t stop you being cautious. After all, that was how you had kept this operation going so long.

Not entirely sure which bunk was the one you were searching for, you tried to look for any identifying items. A pack of smokes? He didn’t seem the type. Hairbands? Definitely not, that one most likely belonged to Tup. A pile of laundry? Could well be his. Among other things, you knew Hardcase could be messy, something you had picked up on in your time studying him, figuring out his daily routine. It was much the same as the other clones, naturally, but in watching him you’d realised just how different from them he was.

As strange as this all sounded, you didn’t start it. At least, that was how you rationalised what you were doing.

Hardcase was a known prankster aboard the Resolute. Him and a few of his brothers, namely Fives, filled their spare time by terrorising the rest of the crew, and you were not immune. You had been burned by them on several occasions, and the most recent was a tipping point for you.

That time, it had been just Hardcase, and he had made you look a fool in front of your employees. You were the head technician aboard the venator, and standing in front of your team, giving a briefing without being privy to the ‘kick me’ sign stuck to your back, was not something you had been pleased about. It was especially irritating as you were still relatively new in the role at the time, and to have your leadership put into question, being a little shy to begin with, did more damage to your confidence that Hardcase probably realised.

So, you had been pranking Hardcase back. They weren’t so much proper pranks as harmless inconveniences for him, but in any case, it was a satisfying form of payback. Most of the time you’d steal his things only for them to ‘turn up’ in the strangest of places, none where you could be implicated, and other times you arranged little situations designed to embarrass him.

The only problem with that was that he refused to be embarrassed, and honestly you admired him for it. His ability to brush off jokes at his expense was commendable, and made you feel like a spiteful cynic for reacting in the way you had to his admittedly innocent prank. Though, you were having too much fun with it now to stop. You knew you were safe from him suspecting you, considering he probably just saw you as the quiet ship tech who he liked to bother when he was back on the Resolute, and he was yet to mention it if he did.

So here you were, rifling through the drawers beside his bunk for something you could steal or use to your advantage. You opened the final draw and your lips curled into a grin as you saw the only item inside: his music player and headphones. You had stolen them before, and remember him being particularly irritated about it, more so than at your other exploits.

You were so caught up in your glee at finding the player again that you didn’t register that someone had entered the room. The pile of dirty blacks should’ve been a clue really, but when someone cleared their throat and you whipped around, finding Hardcase himself with just a towel slung around his waist, you couldn't help but gawk.

“What are you doing?” he asked, his suspicion as obvious as his amusement at your flustered state.

Your hands were behind your back to hide the almost stolen item, your eyes fighting to keep away from his bare chest and failing miserably. You had no idea that his tattoos stretched down his chest, and the way they dipped beneath the edge of the already dangerously low towel had your mind reeling.

“Nothing, just a— it's a routine check” you finally peeped out, trying to sound casual. You had never been good at lying, and you could tell that much was obvious to Hardcase by the way his lips twisted in a smirk.

You quickly darted for the door, the offending item still behind you back to not get caught. You knew the jig was going to be up soon enough, but you didn't feel like answering for your crimes while he was only wearing a towel and you couldn't keep your eyes on his. Unfortunately, Hardcase had other ideas.

He reached out, blocking the exit and causing a small startled yelp to fall from your lips. Your eyes trailed along the toned arm that stopped you from leaving, lingering on the tattoo that circled his bicep, and finally making your way up to his face.

“A routine check?” he spoke, smirking broadly at you, “mesh'la, we both know that's well beneath you”

“Well, I like to know what's going on aboard my ship” your voice was wavering and you internally cursed yourself for letting him get to you like this.

He leaned in a little, his voice dropping fractionally, “you need to know what's going on in my bunk specifically?”

Hardcase had always had fun toying with you, even outside of the pranks. When he'd seek you out during his moments of respite and natter away, telling you a great many things about his most recent deployment, he'd always find a way to gently push your boundaries, not enough to make you uncomfortable, but just enough to get you flustered. It was low hanging fruit really, with you being so shy it was so easy to make you blush, as you knew you were now.

“I— it wasn't just— I was—” you shut your mouth, just looking up at him not knowing how to explain yourself without some kind of confrontation.

Hardcase stared back, his gaze appraising and amused. He nodded behind you, “what have you got there?”

Your eyes went wide, “nothing! It's like I said, just doing some checks”

You knew you were bright red, betraying your lies even further than your shaky and stuttering voice, and you had to look away from him. He took the opportunity to quickly reach around you, taking back his property and holding it above his head so you couldn't seize it again, even though you tried to. He was much taller than you, it was helpless.

“Ah, my player, you know this has gone missing be—” his eyes thinned as he looked back at you.

You rocked back onto your heels and clasped your hands together, looking up at him innocently. You knew you were caught now.

“…Before” he finished the thought and his eyes widened, “you're the one who's been stealing from me?”

You were surprised to see that he was grinning as he said it, and it only unnerved you more.

“No! I don't do that sort of—” you tried to argue your case, but he wasn't having it.

“And yet here you are… stealing”

You looked away, your face aflame, and uncertain of how to get out of this situation. Before you could figure it out, you felt his hand on your chin, tipping your face back his way.

“I must admit, I'm impressed” He said as he looked down at you with a thoughtful expression.

“Impressed?” you practically squeaked, unsure what direction this was going in.

“Mhm” he hummed as he ran his thumb over your chin, “I didn't realise you were so… devious”

You didn't say anything, but one side of your mouth quirked up on instinct. His gaze flicked down to watch it happen and then he peered back into your eyes, mischief swirling within his own.

“You know, you owe Jesse an apology” Hardcase said, towering over you even more as he stepped into your space, and you frowned a little, not understanding his words. “I called him a thief and said he was stealing my stuff, started watching him more closely”

You were entirely captivated by him, hanging on his every word, and it was as much a shock to you as it was amusing to him. He was still holding your chin and with his proximity to you now, your head was tipped back to look up at him.

He gripped you tighter with a calculating smirk, “Only… you were the little thief I should’ve had my eye on”

You gulped, the deep baritone timbre he was employing evidently having its intended effect, and rendering you speechless.

“Better watch your back, mesh'la”

You didn't know what that word meant, he’d said it to you before, but that was no comfort as he left your space and went back over to his bunk, placing down the items you had tried to steal. Still rooted in your place and watching him, he hooked his thumbs into his towel, and smirked at you once again when he noticed you standing there.

“you're not gonna try steal my towel too, are you?”

At that point you scrambled from the barracks and back to your own quarters, too embarrassed to do anything dignified.

It had been so long since Hardcase had caught you in the act, that you'd forgotten just how long it had been.

You'd kept your eye on him ever since, and watched out for incoming pranks every moment of every day, but nothing had happened. Hardcase went on like he hadn't even caught you that day, continuing to throw small adulations your way as he passed you by in the corridor, occasionally sitting by you in the mess hall, coming to irritate you when you were working late. Though, unfortunately for you, it wasn't so irritating anymore. Maybe it never had been.

While you were weary of incoming tricks, his presence was such a simple joy that you didn't mind it at all. It was often soothing in a particularly strange way. You didn't speak an awful lot, but Hardcase would fill the silences with stories of his time in deployment, telling you about the tricks that him and his brothers had got up to. The friendship between you worked well because of it. He didn't mind that you were quiet, and in fact seemed to respect you more for it.

You were working in your office, sat on the floor with a cup of caf balanced dangerously on your knee as you tinkered with your malfunctioning datapad. You would be sat at your desk, but the mess that was atop it made doing any sort if work difficult. Besides, you preferred working on the floor, it made the work feel less tedious.

The door slid open and Hardcase strolled in, as if the office were his own, and he walked over to your position with a grin on his face. Without a word he sat down opposite you, cross legged to mirror your posture, his knees almost touching yours as he grabbed the mug of caf from your knee and took a sip. He placed it down on the floor as you eyed him suspiciously.

This behaviour wasn't abnormal for him, and you didn't mind it, but you were still suspicious of any incoming pranks. Your eyes roved his body, looking for anything unusual, but you found nothing. His expression was amused, watching you evaluate him.

“What?” you asked, giving him an uneasy look.

“What?” he asked back.

You narrowed your eyes at him. He wasn't usually bugging you at this time of day, usually he came by during the evening, but right now it was early in the morning. You had gotten up before everyone else to finish up a personal project; fixing your datapad. It had been on the fritz for a few days and it was starting to affect your workflow.

“Why are you awake?” you asked, looking back down to your datapad and flipping the tool in your hand to access a new angle.

You saw him shrug in your peripheral, “why not”

“As good a reason as any, I suppose” you muttered, your focus more drawn to your work than him.

He began tapping his foot gently, watching you as you worked. It was more of a comforting rhythm than a distraction, but you noticed it all the same. Then it stopped, as if he'd been thinking and come to a conclusion.

“Tell me something mesh'la” he spoke quietly, and your gaze snapped up to his, “have you been watching your back like I suggested?”

You frowned, suddenly very unnerved, “yeah, I suppose so”

“You've been watching me? making sure I'm not up to anything” he asked, the hint of a smirk lifting one side of his lips.

You were hesitant, but you answered, “yeah”

He hummed, nodding a little, “and what have you noticed?”

“Nothing”

“Nothing? Mesh'la, I'm hurt” he pouted, his hand rested over his heart, mockingly upset.

You huffed, unimpressed, “stop saying that, I don't know what it means”

In a distinctly agitated manner, you continued on tinkering with your device. Hardcase tipped his head so that he entered your field of view, trying to gain your attention.

“Come on, humour me”

Your eyes flicked up once again, and the look he was giving you made your stomach flip. His smile seemed genuine, so you put down your datapad and tool, clasping your hands together in your lap and giving him your undivided attention.

“I haven't noticed anything out of the ordinary” you said honestly, looking for an indication of what he might have done in his reaction.

His eyes narrowed a little, sending you an almost puzzled look, “then what is the ordinary?”

“I don't know…” you trailed off, the response somewhat of a default, but Hardcase looked strangely interested, “I don't need to tell you what you do ordinarily”

He chuckles, “maybe not, but go on anyway”

“Okay…” you gave him a strange look, not understanding why he wanted you to report your findings about his everyday routine. You thought for a moment, looking down to your fiddling hands, “well, you… you’re always more excitable right before meal times, just because you have more energy then. You use your music player when you've been around your brothers for a long time and they're being loud. You sometimes shy away from things if you've said you're going to do them, but otherwise you're impulsive. Uh— not that that’s a bad thing. You're… more focused than your brothers give you credit for, at least, when you are focused it's—”

You halted when you looked up, Hardcase’s expression was so tender that you were startled into silence for a moment.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” you asked hesitantly, your body recoiling unsurely.

“You already knew all that stuff about me before I said to watch your back?” his voice was quiet, quieter than usual, and everything about his demeanour made you put your guard up further.

“Yeah, I mean I—” you stopped, eyes widening as the credit dropped, “wait…”

Hardcase’s lips lifted into an amused smile, though it was no less genuine.

“This was the trick, wasn't it?” you gestured vaguely in the space between you, “getting me to watch out all the time?”

He huffed a small laugh as his grin grew, “maybe, I figured you might torture yourself trying to figure out where it was coming from, so I just let you get on with it”

You shook your head in disbelief of your own foolishness, a light scoff passing your lips as you looked back down to get on with fixing your datapad. You really should have thought of that, but the more you let your mind dwell on it, the more you realised it was the perfect prank for someone as anxious as you.

You heard your name called before you could pick up your datapad once more, letting your eyes wander back to the man before you.

“I don't—” he paused, mouth twisting as if holding himself back before he found the right words, “I didn't know you… knew all that stuff”

“Well, it's just— no one pays attention to me, so it's easy to move around unnoticed” you shrugged nonchalantly, “it was pretty easy to figure you out”

“My brothers haven't figured out half the stuff you just said” he pointed out, his smile bordering on a smirk.

You scoffed quietly, “they're just not paying attention then”

“And you are?”

“I—” you then realised what he was really saying, what he had been saying, or trying to imply. You had to look down with the way a rosy tint spread across your cheeks, mumbling a reply, “I don't know, maybe”

Hardcase leaned forwards, resting an elbow against his knee as he tapped your chin gently, urging you to glance up at him once more. He was a lot closer than he had been, his face only a few inches from yours now, but you didn't back away.

“I did notice you, for the record” he said gingerly, his tone far more reverent than you were prepared for, and your insides constricted at the sound.

You waited for him to continue, make himself clear; you didn’t want to misinterpret what he was saying. Looking between his eyes to try and search for his meaning yourself, he let a small smile lift one side of his mouth to give you a more subdued version of his usual lopsided grin.

“I noticed you watching me, I just didn't know why”

You tilted your head to the side, “why didn't you say anything?”

“Didn't want to get my hopes up” Hardcase shrugged.

A frown creased your brow as you tried to understand, “I don't— um…what?”

He chuckled, the sound so warm and inviting that your heart skipped a beat, “I guess I hoped you were watching me because you were… interested in me, or something”

As his eyes darted to the side, his hand curling around the back of his neck in a sheepish manner, you saw the way his cheeks bloomed with colour, his eyes a little wide as if he'd said something he shouldn't have. You had never seen him act so bashful, and something about it made your stomach erupt into butterflies.

“And if I was?”

“What?” his eyes snapped back to yours, growing even wider.

“Interested in you” you clarified.

Hardcase's mouth hung open slightly, and you couldn't help but let a gentle smile curve your lips at his almost shocked expression.

“You are?” he was now grinning, his voice a whisper of disbelief.

You nodded tentatively, and his hands reached forward to grab you. A squeak left you at the sudden motion, and you had been pulled into his lap before you could even comprehend what's going on. His grin was enough already, but the steadfast grip he had on you made any self-discipline you had crumble into nothing.

“Mesh'la…” he whispered the foreign word as his eyes trailed the lines of your features, his fingers gently brushing across your cheekbone and resting his palm against you.

You offered a fake pout, and he chuckled, running the pad of his thumb over your bottom lip, “sorry, can't help it”

He didn't seem very apologetic at all, and as much as it drew a laugh from you, it made your intrigue grow. The words were almost on your lips, to ask what the word meant, but Hardcase got there first.

His lips captured yours with an eagerness and fervour that made your heart implode, beating against your chest and his as his arms snaked around your waist and pulled you flush against him. It was good really, that he held you so tightly and kept you rooted in place, otherwise you may have melted into a puddle as his ardour thawed any of the apprehension within you.

You pulled away, unable to hold yourself back from asking, “what does it mean?”

“what?” he blinked at you, his expression almost worried at your sudden departure from his lips.

“Mesh'la” you clarified.

“Oh” he broke out into a grin, rubbing his nose against yours as he chuckled lowly, “I'm not telling”

You huffed with a frown but he just smiled broadly at you, his eyes shining with the usual lick of mischief. Of course he was still going to find a way to toy with you, even now. You shook your head and brought your lips back to his with a fond smile, and he melted against you, a blissful hum sounding in his throat and rumbling through his chest.

taglist: @darthnihila @cdblake1565 @heidnspeak @burningnerdchild @orangez3st

[halucynator]

YOU COULD'VE DIED!

So I had this request and I totally forgot about it and I'm so so so so so so so sorry lol

Pairing: Theodore Nott x fem!reader

Warnings: mentions of weight, anxiety attacks, eating disorder, reader has adhd, not proof read and my writing lol

Request: So the reader a long time ago like when she was eighth/9ish used to be on the bigger side before her adhd meds and then got really skinny and stuff and timeskip to sixth year her meds don’t really work aswelll so she starts getting an appetite that was usually suppressed and she quit quidditch last year because of stress and her biggest fear is secretly getting fat again and she starts to have so much anxiety about it

WARNING: I am in no way shaming any one in this text. You are beautiful the way you are. I'm just adhering to the request. I do not agree with anything horrible about weight or anything else you can think of that is in this text.

I'm also really really sorry if you go through eating disorders or something similar to what's mentioned in this text x stay strong xx you're not alone 💕

Most people have nightmares about psycho killers in white masks with a knife who are really crazily into fictional movies they try to make it reality. Most people have nightmares about falling from really high cliffs with jagged edges that could rip you in half quicker than the speed of the platform 9¾'s train. Most people have nightmares about burning in fires that could kill you probably faster than the Dursleys burnt Harry's hogwarts letters.

But not you. You had nightmares about gaining weight. About being the girl that you were when you were nine. You hated your ADHD but oh those adhd meds really helped you to stop being the obese person you were. You were disgusted by your younger self even though you shouldn't have been.

You sat in the Great Hall processing your nightmare. You knew you had a normal weight, probably even lower than healthy. And yet you looked around at all those pretty girls with effortless hourglass bodies and wished you could look like them. You knew you had a normal weight and yet your dreams, or perhaps nightmares, kept on taunting you about it.

Those thoughts clouded your mind. Filled your head. Over and over. And over. Until you felt like starving yourself. And you'd do that until you fainted and realised it's really unhealthy. But then it'd be too late and this vicious cycle continued until you felt like you couldn't do it anymore. Until you were sick of being yourself. Until you wished you were anyone but yourself. Until y-

"Hey y/n!" Theo greeted you as he entered the Great Hall. He was the first one there. After you of course. He grabbed a vanilla cupcake with strawberry icing and sprinkles for himself and a chocolate cupcake with chocolate icing for you.

"here I got you a chocolate cupcake with chocolate icing. Your favourite." Theo smiled as he passed it on to you.

Even though your heart wanted to accept it, your brain knew better.

"no I'm fine, really! Thanks so much though! I'm full" you replied. as if to reprimand you, your stomach rumbled.

"your stomach disagrees" he chuckled. "go on have it it's fine it's just a cupcake"

You knew he was trying to be a good friend. You knew he was looking out for you at yet it was so hard for you to suppress the urge to scream "just a cupcake? JUST A CUPCAKE?! well, I'll have you know that cupcake contains sugar and butter which stores in your body as fat so you wouldn't even suggest it unless you hated me" you obviously didn't say it out loud. You knew you were overreacting in your head.

"erm no thanks." You politely turned the offer of the cupcake down.

"Ya sure?" He asked one last time.

"yup." You replied.

"alright suit yourself" Blaise said as he leaned across the table to get the cupcake from your side.

You didn't have dinner that night and the couple of nights after either. You knew you should've. But you were so insecure about your weight you just couldn't. So you didn't. And you should've. You really should've.

Unfortunately for you, you realised that too late.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡*:☆

You woke up on a white bed. Where were you? You glanced around. There was no way. You were in a hospital bed. After Theo explained it to you, you realised what had happened. On your way to the dorm you had fainted due to the lack of food. You had no energy left in your body and it finally gave out. Theo had realised you had fainted and had carried you to the Madam Pomfrey's. He looked strangely cross at you.

"T-thanks" you replied to him.

"for what?" He said. "I couldn't save you."

"you kinda did" you said smiling at him.

He pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to you. It was a cookie.

Before you could say no, he cut you off.

"you are eating this cookie right now or I will never forgive myself for letting you starve yourself."

You reluctantly grabbed the cookie.

"you didn't make me starve myself. I did it to myself. It's not your fault." You replied as you broke a piece off the cookie.

"but why?" He asked.

"sorry?"

"why did you starve yourself"

"erm i well i had a nightmare I was gaining weight and I thought I was I had gained half a kilogram since last year and I just thought I'd look ugly and I just didn't want to not be liked by anyone!" there it was. The word vomit. The bundle of feelings inside of you all out to the one person you thought would be disgusted by you if you ever gained weight. The one person you loved.

"Woah! Slow down. No matter how many kilograms you put in you'll never be fat or ugly! I can't believe you let a nightmare lead you on! You can't have an unhealthy relationship with food!" He exclaimed.

"you're just saying that."

"I'm not just saying that. I mean it y/n. From the moment I laid eyes on you, I fell in love with you and a couple kilograms isn't gonna change that." He replied.

"Aw- wait you what?!" You asked realising what he just said.

"I thought it was obvious? I love you y/n. I always have" Theo said. "but I'm still cross at you for not eating food."

"ok ok I'm sorry." You replied.

"YOU COULD'VE DIED!" Pansy exclaimed bursting into the room.

"Jesus Christ Pansy! You almost gave me a heart attack!" You said shocked at her entrance.

But you knew her words were right. And so were Theo's. From that moment you tried to prevent yourself from starving yourself and with the support of Theo and all your friends it was that much more easy.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡*:☆

A/n: the ending kinda sucks lol sorry for the lateness of this x hope you liked it!!

Taglist: @m3ntallyunstable34 lmk if you want to be added to my taglist (through asks or you can message me x I'll always respond ❤️)

[hyperfixatedoncrimminalminds]

Aaron Hotchner X Derek Morgan X ADHD Autistic teen reader

Summary: Aaron Hotchner and Derek Morgan interrogate a 14 year old daughter of Unsub who has ADHD and is autistic, she was abused by her father her whole life. A bomb gets set off and she protects them

Third person pov...

14 year old Y/N had been in a small interrogation room for the last hour alone, your probably wondering how she knows that because she's been keeping count in her head.

Early on that day the police came looking for her farther but he wasn't there, instead she got taken to the police station and handcuffed (after she accidentally lashed out when they touched her) she's autistic and doesn't like touch- the police didn't listen when she tried to explain to them.

So here she sits, for the last 5 minutes she has been tapping her foot repeatedly on the floor, she has ADHD and couldn't sit still for long, but she was handcuffed to the table so she couldn't stand up and stim.

She then started humming the same tune over and over and over until a man shouts at her to shut up over the com. "Someone's grumpy" she mutters, deciding to go back to tapping her foot repeatedly.

She was beginning to get overwhelmed with everything. "Can I go now please?" She asks into the room but obviously towards the two way mirror.

She got no response. "Please, I don't like it here" she whispers shouting not going to work she realised, suddenly the door is opened two men walk in.

Y/N tenses, with her dad she doesn't like being around men, angling her body away from them she waits until they speak.

Eyebrows slams a files down on the table making her flinch at the loud sound, the Grumpy looking man just stares. "What- Do you know what these are?" He demands, Y/N shakes her head not looking at the man.

She looks down then shuts her eyes. "N-no I don't please" she cries squeezing her eyes shut not wanting to look at the pictures, they where of the victims died in the bombings that happened.

"I don't like it here" she cries pulling on the cuffs trying desperately to yank them off, eyebrows tries to grab her to stop but she kicks out. "No don't touch" she cries almost in hysterics.

Eyebrows holds up his hands and moved out of reach. "Okay I won't touch you, we won't touch you Y/N" he says teying desperately to calm her down.

Grumpy pants- as Y/N dubbed, walked out of the room putting his phone tk his ear, Hotch calls Penelope. "Yello" "Garica, Y/N L/Ns file does it have anything about mental disorders or anything like that?" He asks confused with the girls strong reactions.

After a few seconds Penelope gets back. "It says here that she is Autistic and has ADHD sir" Hotch thinks "that makes sense, thanks Garica" "your welcome Bossman" Hotch then walks back into the room.

Derek is far away from the girl. "Morgan" Derek walks over. "We forgot one thing that all the victims have in common, they are all neurodivergent in some way" he explains to the man.

They then both look over at the girl, she was back to tapping her foot repeatedly

"Y/N, are you autistic?" Asks Hotch, the girl nods her head. "Yes I am, I tried to explain to the idiots in blue but they wouldn't listen" she says it was the most they heard her say.

"Can I have these off now please?" She asks, her voice quiet like she expected to be shouted at. Derek looks ar Hotch the man nods his head. "Sure" he says and unlocks Y/N hands.

The 14 year old instantly jumps up from the desk, absently rubbing her red wrists, she begins pacing back and forth flapping her hands. The men watch her as she stims.

"We just want to talk to you about your father." Says Hotch, Y/N stops stimming and looked up at them with wide, frightened eyes.

She was small in stature, but her piercing gaze held a hint of strength that took the two seasoned agents by surprise. "My father is a monster" she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Hotchner and Morgan exchanged a knowing glance. They had seen this before – the child of an Unsub who had been subjected to unimaginable abuse and trauma.

"Y/N does you father treat you well?" Asks Derek carefully, Y/N looks down she nervously rings her fingers as she thinks.

"He doesn't" she confesses. "He hates that I'm different, he thinks it's wrong and tries to beat the 'retardness' out of me" she confesses crying as she paces back and forth in the little space.

Hotch and Morgan eye each other from the corner of their eyes then look at Y/N.

"We know, hes a monster which is why we need to find him" Morgan replied gently. 'But we need your help to find him. We believe he may be planning to harm more people.'

Y/N hesitated for a moment, chewing on her bottom lip as she thought. Then she reached into her pocket and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper. It was a map, with a clearly marked location circled in red.

'That's where he's keeping his bombs" she said, sliding the paper across the table. Hotchner and Morgan looked at each other in shock.

They had been searching for those bombs for weeks, and here it was, handed to them by a scared teenage girl.

They immediately sprang into action, calling for backup and racing to the location. But as they arrived, they realized that Y/N had also been telling the truth about another thing – her father had taught her how to make bombs.

Before they could even process the situation, a loud explosion ripped through the air. Hotchner and Morgan were thrown back by the blast, but they were quickly pulled to safety by Y/N who had shielded them with her own body.

She lay unconscious, her small frame protecting them from the debris, Y/N was rushed to the hospital, and after a few days, she regained consciousness.

Hotchner and Morgan were there, by her bedside, along with a team of doctors and nurses who were amazed by her bravery.

"We couldn't have stopped him without you,' Hotchner said, his voice filled with sincerity, the girl looked up at them and smiled weakly. "Can I be part of your team now?" She asked, her eyes sparkling with hope.

Hotchner and Morgan shared a smile, knowing that Y/N had found a new family in the Behavioral Analysis Unit. Despite the darkness of her past, she had shown courage and strength that they had rarely seen before.

And as they welcomed her into their team, they knew that together, they could take on anything that came their way.

The end!

Hope you liked this one shot sorry for the late update been a busy week but I am now on Christmas break and will update regularly.

As usual sorry for any spelling and grammar mistakes.

Request are open!

Word count: 1204

[bullet-prooflove]

Hello! Okay so this is my first ask!

Could you please do number 30 "If I told you that I didn't need you, well that would be a lie" from the pocket full of hope prompt list you recently posted for Stuart Scola and Sasha please?

Tagging: @kmc1989 @trublu2u @noxytopy @district447 @stelacole @abby-splace

Companion piece to:

Every Inch Of You (NSFW) - You and Stuart spend the night together after two years apart.

Escapee - You and Stuart are reunited when a face from your past escapes from prison.

Safehouse - You and Stuart discuss moving forward now you're back in NY.

The Life You Could Have - You get a glimpse into the life you could have with Stuart.

You’ve been in the safe house for three days before you start to get restless. Stuart can see it in the way you pace the living room, tidying Jack’s toys, stacking the books in a neat alphabetised order.

This happens sometimes when you can’t go for a run or hit the boxing gym, that relentless energy you have, it starts to build and build inside you. It makes you impulsive, reckless.

“You’re going to leave aren’t you?” He asks you that night after he’s tucked Jack into bed. You’re drying the dishes on the draining board, putting each one back in its rightful place. Outwardly you’re the epitome of calm, but he knows you, knows your brain is going a mile a minute.

“It’s the only way to end it.” You tell him, folding the towel before you sigh placing your hands upon the surface of the counter. “I’m not sure how much longer I can stand being cooped up like this, it feels like I’m trapped in my own skin.”

It’s the ADHD, you’ve never received an official diagnosis but Stuart sees it in you, he always has. He mentioned it a couple of years ago back before you got married and you conceded he was probably right. You hate the idea of being shoved into a neat little box so you handle it on your own and it works mostly…

Until you end up a position like this, trapped in a house without the usual mechanisms you use to cope.

“Sasha.” He says softly, his hands coming to rest on your shoulders, trying to sooth you. “You just gotta hold out a little longer-”

“That’s not really how it works with me.” You remind him.

You may have been apart for a few years but he hasn’t forgotten the other way you deal with his feelings. His fingers thread in yours and he guides you to his bedroom, closing the door behind him so Jack doesn’t hear the noise. The way you fuck him that night, it’s wild, untamed. He’s forgotten that it can be like this with you, he’s forgotten how he can be when he’s with you. It’s bite marks and scratches, bruises that’ll last for days and finally it’s ecstasy, the most intense euphoria he’s had in a very long time.

When he wakes up the next morning it’s to an odd sense of unease. He runs his hand over the sheets to find your side of the bed empty and a cloying, ominous silence seeping through the house.

It’s then he sees the note propped up on the nightstand and his heart sinks because he realises the truth now, that last night wasn’t really about burning off that excess energy, it was really about saying goodbye.

Stuart? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

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Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[groovebunker]

i’m gonna be obnoxious about this and people are just going to have to be cool about that. yes? good.

happy birthday to what would you do (if they ever found us out) (affectionately known as wwyd)!!! a year ago today, i posted chapter one and (i’m not being dramatic here) i think it changed my life?

little backstory: i’m a dyke with eyes and a type, so when i watched fran drescher making impassioned speeches about labour rights, i was both smitten and reminded that i’d been meaning to watch the nanny. i was also (mostly unbeknownst to me) about as mentally ill as i’ve ever been in my life. i was halfway through a phd which i loved but it was making me so, so unwell. anyway, i started watching the nanny as some kind of escapism and one night, i was like…has anyone thought of fran and cc kissing on the mouth? and they had (obviously) and so i started thinking about that and how whine cellar is a deeply disappointing episode in so many ways and then i was like ‘i can fix that! with a one shot!’.

fast fwd to april 2024. i’m in my favourite city in the world. i’m posting the 11th chapter of that one shot far too late at night (sorry sara). it’s ended up about 85k words long. i’m no longer a phd candidate. i’m significantly less mentally ill. and i’ve spent the last 8 or so months being held by a group of people i would never have met if i had never started writing again.

i didn't quit my phd to write fan fiction, obviously. but writing fic helped me realise how unhappy i was because it was something that gave me joy in a time that was so fucking bleak. i don't really like thinking about it too much but it wasn't great. and then i had this lifeline. these two idiots (affectionate) falling in love with one another, not only in wwyd but all the other fics i was writing. and talking about with people who were commenting and finding me on tumblr. and then, eventually, we weren't just talking about fran and cc, we were talking about our lives! because we were friends!

people will tell you before you start a phd that it's a lonely experience. i was the only history student in my cohort. i only met one of my supervisors in person at his leaving drinks. i have two friends i met at my uni, one of whom was the first person i told that i had to quit. i had other friends and an incredible, loving, patient partner, and they were amazing. but still, it was lonely.

and then i just fucking wasn't.

january ‘24, the squad evolved from being my stupid tumblr tag to being the most chaotic group chat i have ever been part of (until nic got us nicely organised). a week or so later, i quit the phd. and i told a bunch of people i’d never met that i was dropping out of grad school and they were so fucking kind. i will never forget that. the squad, in all its iterations, will have my heart for my whole life. i will not rest until i have annoyed you all in person. my dream is winning the lottery and flying you all to a villa in spain for a week so i can cook you dinner (and cass can make bread) every night and drink wine and splash about in the sun (or in sara’s case, hide in the shade and probably yell at us to put sun screen on). when i say i love you, i mean it so wholly and truly.

anyway, back to wwyd. it’s not my first fic. i’ve been writing on and off for 15 long, long years. but i hadn't written a ton for a while (other than my aloto fic bc gretson my beloved) and i really kind of expected to get a couple of comments and a few kudos. i just had a story that wanted to get out so i published the first few chapters in really rather quick succession (i’m sorry to anyone who reads my stuff, my adhd is too bad for a posting schedule) and people…loved it? like, really loved it. which was so nice because i’m gonna be honest, there was not an adoring audience for my academic work (perils of being a genocide scholar). and i know it's become quite a few people’s comfort fic. i know people have reread it, more than once in some cases, which feels wild. people have left the most wonderful comments, said the kindest things, drawn gorgeous art, made a fanmix (which is fucking amazing), followed along on this journey which i did not expect them to do.

i don't have favourite children (b&w fans, i promise you, the next chapter is in the works) but if i did, wwyd might be one. sure, she's my difficult eldest child. but she got me into a fandom for the first time in years, she’s given me friends i know I will hold onto for the rest of my life, she reminded me how much fun writing can be. and she’s spawned so much more because she made me so much more confident as a writer.

so i don't think i’m being overdramatic when i say it changed my life. if you’d told me all of this when i hit publish on chapter one last year, i would have told you to fuck off. relatively vehemently. but i’m better now. and i’m so fucking grateful for this fic for being part of what gave me that.

anyway, thanks for letting me be a bit self indulgent - promise you don't have to sit through this ever again (maybe for won't you when i finally get it done. i’m sorry. i’m verbose). and once again, to everyone who has read wwyd, given it kudos, commented, reblogged a chapter on tumblr, all of it, my eternal thanks. i couldn't have done it without you.

finally, because i cannot say it enough, to the squad, you have my whole heart. it’s actually mad to me that this time last year, i had no idea who any of you were. your stamp on the last few chapters of wwyd is indelible. your stamp on my life is somehow more permanent than that. thank you. ilsym 🫶🏻

[oneofthosebells]

Not managed to pull anything proper together yet for Wille's month, but the Day 11 prompt (Future), reminded me of a crack fic idea I kind of really want to write one day...

Erik gets a vision of his own future somehow (psychic, witch, friendly angel, take your pick) shortly before parents' weekend and the car crash. But it's a limited vision; he gets flashes of his own death, the funeral, the video leak, Simon breaking up with Wille - twice - and lots of flashes of Wille suffering and heartbroken. Disturbed by the vision, Erik drives (slowly and carefully for once) to Hillerska for parents' day where he quickly sees that Wille is head over heels for Simon.

So, of course, he asks his good pal August to give him the lowdown on Simon, and August is more than happy to badmouth the rude, money-grubbing little commoner who shows no respect for his social betters and isn't at all a suitable friend for a prince. And Erik realises that not only was his vision of the future true and that Simon is going to break his little brother's heart, but that it must be Simon who leaks the video, for money or fame.

So Erik, with August's eager help, sets out to get rid of Simon any way they can. But every plan fails. Because they hadn't reckoned with just how far Wille would go to protect Simon and prevent him being kicked out of Hillerska. Wille calls his brother in an outrage that August is trying to get Simon expelled for dealing drugs?! And how DARE he when it was all August's fault in the first place, and he's never actually paid Simon for any of it, and can Erik throw some royal weight around and back Wille up in proving Simon's innocence and getting August expelled instead please? Because they can claim August is just blaming Simon to cover up his own misdeeds in stealing/buying ADHD meds from other students. [Sara can testify August tried to buy meds from her, and there's no actual evidence of Simon's involvement as no money has exchanged hands and there's no second lot of meds with Micke's name on in this timeline]. Erik can't tell Wille he's not on Simon's side, and to his horror, there's enough evidence against August on top of unpaid tuition fees to get him kicked out.

The weeks/months go by and Erik gets more and more desperate without his mole on the inside - because Wille seems blissfully in love and happier than he's ever been whenever he speaks to him, but Erik knows Simon's going to break his heart, he's seen it. And he knows for definite that Simon is a wrong 'un - he got August expelled! He's anti-monarchy and a socialist! He's clearly a bad influence!

Then one day, Wille calls him upset because he had a big row with Simon, and maybe they are just too different to make it work, and he thinks this is it, they've broken up - but then Erik's hopes are dashed when Wille calls him happily the next day to tell him actually they've sorted everything out again.

Erik's frustrated and desperate and maybe losing the plot a little bit by now because he's been obsessed with ending this relationship for so long now he's almost forgotten the original reasons why. But he does remember the one thing from his vision that would definitely break them up - the video leak. Erik doesn't have a video, but he does have revealing photos - (probably August took them, haven't quite worked out the details of that one yet) - and as Erik's obsession with getting rid of Simon at any cost reaches a peak, he clicks send on the anonymous tip off to a journalist...

(@youngroyals-events)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for yelling at my friend over discord?

@aita-throwary-blogggg1456789 for finding later

so. um. i realise i come across as massively assholey here but idk man. this might just be teenage angst/drama

basically i (16FTM) have this friend. lets call him O (16M) we met last year since i showed him around the school on his first day. we sort of clicked and became friends.

at the time i was questioning my gender identity and was talking to a couple professionals about possible mental health issues and disabilites i was suspected to have, and when i talked to O about it he was super supportive. when i came out as enby he accepted me, and when i eventually came out as trans he accepted me then too. i told him about the adhd and the anxiety and the depression, and he was cool with all of that.

the main problem starts at the beginning of the new academic year. i'd introduced him to a really close knit friend group of mine, and he also clicked there. i was pretty happy about it, before he started saying some um... iffy things. i had recently found out my parents were severly abusive and i had been conditioned to believe that it was normal. so i'd talked to my friend group about it and they had all been really supportive. except for O. he'd conveniently kept quiet whenever i'd start talking about it. recently i asked him (quite nicely i'd like to add) why, and he said he doesn't have the full story, and that i was probably exagurating. obviously i was hurt, since it took a long time for me to finally talk about this shit, but i brushed it off since he had a relativley smooth life and didn't really know.

later i was diagonsed with osdd, and i told my friends. O admitted to me he thought i was faking it for attention, since he had become close with another person in the friend group T (16FTM). again i was deeply hurt, and didnt talk to him for a couple months. afterwards i started talking to him again, but he kept making jokes at my expense

one night i was highly emotional after a whole thing which led to me to cry for a couple hours. he made yet another joke at my expense in the discord gc and i just snapped. i went into dms and yelled at him for a paragraph and then some. he hasn't replied or even talked to me and i'm scared i did the wrong thing and overreacted

i feel really bad about it but my firend told me i wasnt the asshole... but am i?

so tumblr, aita??

(if this posted again bc of tumblr being wierd im sorry)

[imahinatjon]

OK HI I'm BACk what ABOUT JOUNO AND TECCHOU WITH AN S/O WHO HAS ADHD LIKE ZONING OUT AND RANDOM STUFF like spontaneous noises, not sitting still, ZONING OUT, low attention span, etc. I MEANT TO WRITE THIS IN ALL CAps BUT I DIDNT. HAVE AGOOD DAY.

Before we start this, I do not have ADHD or at least we don't think I have.

Therefore I cannot say I fully understand ADHD, but I will try. (Like, I understand, but not to the fullest extent)

Also did these in the form of headcannons if that's good? Bulletpointed.

Jouno

• So, Jouno... appreciates you.

• He doesn't always understand, but even he gets that enthusiasm is needed in life sometimes - even if it's not technically enthusiasm.

• He won't notice if you start zoning out. He can't see you.

• But he does realise when you stopped making noise.

• Your voice is distracting and almost constant. You say almost anything and everything with little to no filter.

• But he likes your voice a hell of a lot more than the voices of... certain people.

• Jouno can't keep up.

• That's just it. He can't keep up.

• He can learn to understand what your saying, where you're coming from, your personality and behaviours, but that doesn't mean he has the energy to keep up.

• Still, your entertaining to him, he likes you, a lot. So he keeps his ear out for you.

• You rarely stay in one place for too long, buttt your also clumsy. Make a lot of simple, not super dangerous but occasionally concerning mistakes.

• Jouno, with ALL his love for you, thinks you need to be wrapped up in bubble wrap.

• It's for your own safety!

• ...he may or may not try it.

• But, in all seriousness. He does love every bit of you he has come to know. And coming to the rescue every now and then makes him feel like you really need him. (Not that he has issues with this, just saying that I think he'd like it if his s/o relied on him)

• He just wishes there weren't so many unfinished passion projects lying around.

• But he'll get over it because he loves you ♡

Tecchou

• Tecchou probably understands somewhat.

• You two have an almost perfect relationship.

• When he's not working Tecchou is practically attached to your hip.

• Which means you fall victim to his "cooking" often.

• And your always willing to try whatever he comes up with. Mostly that's because you haven't been paying much attention to what he's been putting in, your only indication that something is up is the fact that everything is the same colour.

• But you trust he won't poison you, so you take a spoonfull.

• You tell him it was nice, when really it wasn't, and remind yourself not to accept food from him again.

• You soon forget about it when the next meal comes around.

• "Sometimes I forget that your cooking is a biohazard..."

"...what?"

• Sometimes the two of you sit together doing nothing.

• It's nice. You were just sat on the chair, comfortable, away somewhere within your own head.

• He spotted you, and thought that you looked cute being so deep in thought that you had no real awareness of your surroundings.

• So, with the 'protection' excuse tucked away up his sleeve, he sat beside you and waited.

• Only to then find himself lost in thought with you.

• He can't help it! Being in such a calm, relaxing atmosphere with you - the ultimate comfort to him, he can't help but loose himself in the moment with you.

• What brings him back is when you start moving. A slight shake of the leg. Constant tap tap tapping, your knee bouncing up and down.

• You clearly got bored of wherever you were a bit ago, and had decided to stay with him, even though he could see you wanted to go and do something else.

• That's adorable - You trying so hard.

• Makes him want to try harder too.

• Oh! Perhaps you could cook with him!

• It will end in disaster. That's just a given. Doesn't matter if your a good cook or a bad cook there will be conflict.

• Nothing serious, and it causes no real issue, just a lot of mess that some poor soul is going to have to clean up later.

• He's so insistent on his way of "cooking" that he won't listen to you.

• And your so stubborn in 'trying something new' (aka following an actual recepie) that you both end up childishly fighting over the bowl.

• It's not serious, and neither of you are actually shouting, but a few bowls and ingredients fall over, and you do run around a lot.

• At least Jouno knows not to go in there - lest he face whatever mess the two of you plan on proudly presenting to him. He doesn't want it.

• So... your relationship isn't perfect, but it's almost there.

• You try and understand eachother, and you stick together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Is this okay? 🤔

I did research into ADHD before writing this - and tried to recall what one of my relatives behaves like - as he has adhd.

But like I said, I don't have it.

Also Think I finally figured out how to spell these twos names.

:D

[acetone4veins]

do you have any hcs about Regina's diagnosis(and/or just realisation that she has) of autism + ADHD? like when it happened, how her parents dealt with it etc.

tysm and I love your hcs x

I think if she got diagnosed it had to have been when she was really young, before she learned how to mask fully

Anyone who's read my Regina character study knows I hc the George parents as awful so I don't think they would handle Regina's diagnosis well at all

They tell Regina she's not allowed to tell anyone because it would ruin their "perfect" image and put so much pressure on her to act "normal"

Alternatively, if we want to be slightly nicer, then maybe her mom is more okay with it then her dad and this is what ultimately splits their marriage. Because her mom disagrees with how her dad treats Regina which is why he's not in their life anymore

Regina probably buys in to the idea that there's something "wrong" with her and getting diagnosed just solidifies it in her mind, so she tries to just pretend it didn't happen and never gets any actual help in managing her autism/ADHD in healthy ways

This brings me back to my point that her meltdowns are always so intense because she spends so long repressing

I don't think Regina accepts this part of herself until post canon, when after the bus is gets impossible to hide with how stressed and in pain she is, but her friends are so understanding and they all try and learn about the best ways to help

She finally comes to terms with her diagnosis and starts to unmask around her friends eventually, and it's a whole learning process that she should've been allowed to go through as a kid but never did, so it's a lot of trial and error for her to figure out what works and what doesn't for her, and any potential triggers or stressors

[lifenconcepts]

Horrid Henry headcannons  (the show one, there is a distinction) (not going into the basics of him being abused or whatever)

Undiagnosed adhd.

Has issues with falling asleep and/or staying asleep.

Has probably gotten in trouble for doodling rude characatures of his teachers and people he dislikes.

Definetely snuck out a few times at night.

Love language is quality time.

Loves to get a rise out of others by pretending to like things that people find disgusting (like pineapple pizza) but in reality doesn’t like them either.

Loved to cover and uncover his ears quickly in a school cafeteria to get that funny audio noise.

Wears long clothes practically religiously to avoid being perceived.

Probably daydreamed of tons of things he wanted but into his adolescence wanted a car to “get away forever” or atleast travel out of home often.

Had a time period where he listened to the group “The Smiths”.

Loves the musical group Mindless Self Indulgence.

Is deep in denial about having self confidence issues, and tries to pull off the idea he has a god complex.

Had a burner phone he got tons of songs on and whenever limited in tv or other things can always rely to have the phone (since his parents don’t know about it).

Likes to collect CDs and loves to go to flea markets or thrift shops for cheap ones, for a few from finding them near trash bins.

Loves the night but is too wimpish to actually go out alone unless it’s to Ralph’s.

Hates anything touching his neck (clothing tags, long necks/collars, necklaces).

Has likely grown out a mullet at least once in his life.

Likes to dance unless it’s for someone or something.

Has been left home alone multiple times and learnt to deal with it well.

Neglectful when it comes to keeping relationships as he doesn’t really know how to show attention or love to ‘em.

Loves 80s synth pop.

Touch repulsed and yet touch starved, has probably cried from receiving a genuine hug (likely from Ralph)

Liked to hum or whistle tunes and often gets told off for it.

Has probably broken dozens of chairs before, accidentally.

Is the guy to volunteer eagerly when the teacher calls for a “strong boy” to help stack plastic chairs.

When riding a bike loves to speed up until his legs ache and then fail to stop in time and crash into bushes.

Likely gets into antics which result with him getting dozens of bruises or scratches.

Has probably bitten people before.

Would laugh at queers before realising he is one himself.

Secretly wants to put make-up on himself like how some rock bands do but doesn’t want to be seen in it as it could make others think he’s girly.

Parents don’t believe him when he cries and so he gets sent to his room when he actually needs some comfort and cries himself to sleep while hugging Mr. kill or a pillow, has gotten a conditioned response of fleeing the scene of feeling genuinely threatened, but can stand up to himself.

Confident in his abilities and at the same time thinks he’s the worst person to ever exist in them.

Likes to lick his own blood or pick his own scabs.

Likely aromantic (I get his distaste to getting married is just a kid thing but I like to believe otherwise). Also take the episode “horrid Henry looks at love”.

Liked to chase cats or other small animals but wouldn’t hurt them for real, maybe just aggressively pet them but not anything more.

Prolly listened to Radiohead.

Likely has a small collection of different scrap bits and pieces from toys and other objects he found outside, from random bolts to lost keys from unknown locks, to even shards of metal from a broken bus.

Has probably slept across two seats on some sort of family gathering.

Probably would be into kandi beads and loom bands.

Liked black and red checkerboard patterns.

Probably would wear goth/punk clothes into his adolescence years. From depictions of skeletons and bones to spikey collars and leather jackets.

Pierced his own ears.

Tried to at some point control the universe or atleast take over the world.

Has stuck a fork into an outlet before.

Online likes to pretend to be a real life vampire or werewolf and has told people that he lives in an old castle.

Sweet tooth!

In school liked arts and crafts and often made makeshift creatures or robots.

Would love to partake in certain after school clubs but isn’t allowed due to teachers thinking he’s always gonna be a problem child.

Has a medal he won genuinely and hides it as his most prized possession, only boasting with the one he cheated in/stole.

[captain-eppe]

an Introduction

I loved the PJO series. The Kane Chronicles were the first books I read by Rick. Of course I grew up and learned more about the world and the problems presented by the portrayals. But I liked them, then read the Lost Hero and stopped. 

And wondered, why did I find Heroes of Olympus so lacking in comparison?

I decided to reread the first book, and write what I thought about it, chapter by chapter.

I will try to write what I think could be improved. 

I have read the Lost Hero once before, and stopped. I read it all in one go, so this time, I plan to stop and reflect on it, and my feelings. 

It does include roasting, not because I dislike Rick on a personal level, but some days I'm just straight up in a mood to be picky,  and this is a good way to do so in peace. 

I do like Rick Riordian's writing. If I didn't feel the energy to care, I wouldn't be doing this. Yes, it's probably going to involve roasting, AU imagine spots, and comparisons to other characters. The story was not created in a vacuum, and is in fact a sequel. I have expectations, based on his previous works, and one of the things that drew me into it was humor and ADHD. 

In the end, remember that this is a blog personal reflection, and you don't have to share the same opinion, and are welcome to block or unfollow if it makes your blogging experiences uncozy.

Fair warning, this blog will update on random whims, it is very unscheduled.

So that said, what do I remember of the characters? Let's see. 

JASON.

Who is Jason? Jason is amnesiac , for plot reasons, and a Roman Demigod, as well as Thalia Grace's little brother. Hopefully, there will be some nice moments between them down the road, despite their different alliances. We could have seen such a relationship between a sibling in camp, and a sister with the hunters, if the new hunter didn't die in the book she was introduced in. There were some interesting things that could have been done with her character if she were alive, such as exploring why she left Nico in camp to join a girl hunting party, practically the minute she could. Had she been thinking about her orientations, and left the minute she found seemingly like minded people? Was she desperate not to be responsible for him anymore? It just seems like it all happened, to hurt Nico, because she is not explored for very long, or in any particular detail, and it feels like she was killed for the sake of Nico’s character arc. 

But I've gone off topic. Jason does not remember, except when he stands up for the Romans who fought out of the blue, and his relationship with Piper that didn't happen. He's pretty out of his depth, and it shows throughout the book. 

PIPER.

Oh boy. This is a long one. Piper is the second female protagonist Rick has written from the perspective of, and I liked Sadie, a lot better. Piper feels kind of like "I'm not like other girls". One thing I found in the other books, that I didn't find in these protagonists, was a sense of humor, that frankly I didn't feel from the protagonists in this book. Maybe it will show up later. I hope so. 

Back to Piper. A daughter of Aphrodisiac and a native American Celebrity, Piper often feels lonely and wants more attention from her father. To this end, she uses her lvl 50 persuade… er charmspeak, to talk people into letting her do stuff, and gets into trouble, when it wears off, and they realise “wait wtf”. Like all children of Aphrodisiac,  she radiates beauty. On one hand, that's pretty cool, the most beautiful POV character thus far, is of mixed native descent. However, I have to wonder if it will be properly explored. 

*Aphrodisiac is a spelling mistake by spellcheck. I left it because it amused me

Do you remember why Carter always dresses his best, In the first book? His dad insists on it, yes, but they are black men, and he doesn't want to give the cops any more reasons to give them trouble, trouble they will have more than enough of with the colour of their skin. At the end of the first book, Carter moves to dressing more casual, a move that is supported by both Sadie and his parents. 

How does Piper deal with discrimination and stereotypes?  She's a girl, which means it might show up in different ways, and be aimed at her sex out loud? Does she, too, get set off by the term half blood, like Carter? Does it bypass her somewhat, by being a celebrity's daughter? Are people more likely to project spoiled rich kids expectations onto her?

*Do I want to touch her kleptomania here? Hard no. That is a bomb I will avoid going into in introductions.

Piper, like Carter, has thoughts on clothing. Carter wanted to wear normal clothes, and wondered what his life would be like if he grew up a normal kid. Piper has an unrepentant tomboy style, and is someone  who doesn't care how she looks, yet is gorgeous anyways. She seems to look down on girls who dress girly, and act like it, and intentionally does things differently. To me, this is a character flaw, in that she is being judgemental about people with different attitudes  from her, and I think in doing so she is being just as snobby as the people she is looking down on. I wonder if part of her future character growth will be realising that, and changing her attitude towards them, maybe even learning some of the things they can teach her. Even if it's not her thing, that doesn't mean she shouldn't respect people who do like makeup and whatnot. 

While I'm talking about beauty, I wonder if there will be any part in the books that explore the pitfalls of being beautiful. Particularly  as a woman. Women have a long history of objectification, and while things seem more equal among the demigods, children of Aphrodisiac seem to be something of an exception. Apparently, those campers have never been on a quest, and aren't shown to be learning any particular skill at camp. It seems they are stuck in being the stereotype of “the chick.” And are there any sons of Aphrodisiac? Does she just clone herself using males DNA to pad a difference? Or are there two separate cabins for them, and we have not seen them yet? Because off what I remember, the beauty standards seem to be patricary catered. 

Ah, I've gotten a bit off point. The pitfalls of being female, particularly a beautiful one. A big one is guys. You're trying to shop, or just walking, or watching a play, whatever, doing your own business, when a wolf whistle pierces the air. Or a guy asks you out. Or keeps following you, trying to get you to give him your number. Or winks at you out of the blue, groped you as you were passing him on the bus, sends you sexual harassment on a text, or shouts it at you. Or is a “nice guy” who drops you when you won't date him, after trying to pressure you. It's not just strangers. The world judges you on beauty. It makes you likelier to be hired, gives people a more favorable impression of you, and often takes a lot of maintaining. Beauty and brains is considered an exception, guys don't want to date people smarter than them, and can come to resent it in a partner. 

Do we see Piper, having struggles being a beautiful woman? A beautiful Native woman, (many of whom have problems with over sexualization?)Do guys bother her in public? Has she been friends with “nice guys” in the past? Does she have trouble trusting Leo at first because of experiences like that? Does she get frustrated at this treatment, and tell guys off, only to get slapped with the label “crazy bitch?” Does she have trouble getting people to take her ideas seriously,  because she's a woman? Scratch the last one, charmspeak possibly overrides those objections. 

Sadie Kane, was a bit boy Crazy. She had two guys into her, one a god, a conflict which was resolved by having the mortal boy she liked, host the god she liked. Is it a bit wish fulfillment? I won't disagree. But I didn't feel It got overtly annoying, and it was reciprocated, and they managed to make it work for them. I do wish there hadn't been a time skip, and we could have seen them develop more, but established friendships are given pretty good attention, such as Percy and Grover. His friendship with Rachel, was pretty well done, as was Annabeth. Rick knows how to build a relationship up, and Percybeth was well built, so what is he doing here with Piper and Jason? It was built on a lie, subbed in for Jason current relationship with another girl. 

From what I remember, Piper is upset that it was a lie, but also seems possessive about something that wasn't hers. Let's take a shot of water every time Piper thinks about Jason. Take 2 Shots every time she does something romantic coded with Jason, instead of building a friendship with the boy she is fixated on. Drink some juice ,every time she and Leo act like friends. Yah know,cause they were friends before Jason, I'm told. Rick wrote it fine with Percy and Grover. So why can I not recall it here?

I also remember thinking some things about Piper smacked of Mary sue. Now, I know that is unfair, women too should be allowed power fantasy, and sues are good learning experiences, but Sadie never felt that way to me, despite getting magic easily, from the goddess in her head, to the point leather boots didn't impede her. Or how her love subplot ended with essentially getting both boys. Rick knows how to write relatable women, so what's happening here? 

Yah, I have a lot of thoughts on Piper. Maybe more will come later. Idk. 

LEO.

I didn't actually remember much of Leo beyond Dead mom, mechanic, super Mechanic, angsting, and fire. All have shiney rare powers. He and Piper are supposedly besties. I would like to see it.  Still, I've heard hes interesting, so I'll try to keep a sharper eye out. 

[trashlama]

Ok hear me out Yandere redson and Mei poly /team up hcs please 🙏who both fallen for macaque female apprentice ~

Mei fights her seeing as macaque fighting monkey king , which leads to MK fighting her future darling it was only when reader makes shadow clones to trap MK , that’s when Mei gets involved. 

It would have been fine if the reader didn’t have such a flirty attitude, who likes to praise Mei even when Mei sword was near her throat. 

Before Mei could do anything , reader disappeared into the shadow realm 

For Red son , I can see him teaming up with her since MK is there enemy , with his brain and her brawn , MK and his friends will be finished in no time . (Reader teamed up with his , for sine reason her mentor disappeared and she thinking rid of MK and his friends will make him praise her ) 

He did not expect reader to be so smooth and honestly praises his inventions even saying he’s amazing . 

There were so close yet MK still won , Red son thought she was gonna leave him only for her to teleport him and her to her hideout to heal his wounds before sending him back home ,not before giving him a flirty remark . 

After that an obsession grow for Red son 

While Mei she gains a guilty crush that got worse when reader decide to keep her company since MK been busy Lately, She knows she should hate it but she been feeling lonely and when reader not being flirty she can be nice even winning Mei a dragon plushie at a fair . 

What made her snap was realising Red son fallen for her darling , but seeing how there got along greatly if there difference aside , there decided to team up to make reader theirs . 

My dude —deep inhale of air— would it be alright if I made this into like a two possibly three shot series?

I love the idea and I've been brainstorming tons of ideas for this one and in each scenario I'm like damn this idea is so good. I really want to do it justice so I need to have multiple chapters. Ya know? To build the tension and really get a feel of the mindsets and what not.

However—

(SORRY THIS TURNS INTO A LITTLE AUTHOR'S NOTE)

As you guys are aware I have to seriously start working on this future Yan Raph fic of mine... . It's Ironic but, I reeaally want to start writing the future yan Mikey part. Mostly because I basically have that one planned out in my head. Meanwhile I got like five different possible scenarios for the Raph fic that I can't decide on. Though a few months ago I had said I was gonna do the Raph one first so to keep my word I plan to do so.

However SOMEBODY (an anon) had requested a future Yan Michelangelo fic and I'm like brooooo were you reading my thoughts? Cause they were somewhat close to what I had in mind but not quite. But the point is I need to write the Raph fic soooonn!!!

Gotta appease the masses~✨

Though guys I'm a bad Trashlama. I keep brainstorming all these awesome plots that I totally want to write— which ironically were formulated when I was brainstorming for the Raph fic.

Soooo I'm gonna do a poll so I can force my procrastinating/ADHD ass to write at least some of these.

And guys btw I'm sorry again for taking so long. I've been caught up recently with finishing a lot of other things I had been procrastinating. -Cough- Hogwarts Legacy -Cough- Spider-Man Across the Spider-verse -Cough- Adult responsibilities -Cough- -Cough-!!!

Anyways thank you guys again for sticking around to the end. I'll have that poll out soon(probably today).

HERE'S THE POLL

In the mean time here's some memes!

Sorry this is long↓ I don't own these memes. I've never claimed to do so. I just come across them on Pinterest when I'm on break at work and think they're funny so I like to share them. If I mistakenly put one on here that I shouldn't have please let me know! I like to respect people's wishes. And if you could add the creator names too that would be great so the same mistake isn't made twice. Sorry for the inconvenience that my sharing may cause. I hope you have a good day.

[not-poignant]

do you think The Prince's Son might came back into your roster of active wips any time soon? 🤔 (no rush ofc)

Unfortunately not, anon, it could be a while! (Like another few months at least).

At the moment I'm working really hard to finish Constellations, Underline the Blue or Underline the Gold, Underline the Black, A Stain that Won't Dissolve, etc.

That's five separate stories and I think collectively that represents another 60~ chapters (give or take some.) And that's got to happen before I can even think about The Prince's Son. For context, I write about 8-10 chapters per month.

A big issue right now is I've had way too many stories on my plate for way too long, and I loathe putting them on hiatus. So that means no more new stories for a while, until I can clear my roster and bring some stories into brighter focus (Palmarosa, Underline the Red, Underline the Silver).

Of course I'm working on all the above stories at the same time, except for Underline the Silver, and that's why I'm like, behind in how often I want to be updating Palmarosa etc.

This is a schedule nightmare of my own making, brought about in part because ADHD meds helped my executive function enough to work on a lot of stories at once, I just didn't realise how bad that was for me, and how exhausting it is in the long-term, until I was in the middle of it. And then there was no way out except just...finishing some of the stories.

I only ever really want to be working on 2-3 projects at the same time. One main project, one side/early access, and one fanfic or other side project. I currently have four side original stories, one main original story, and two lengthy fanfics. It's...painful. I love the stories, I love all y'all, but yeah ngl I'm my second year of this and it's like 'please just let me get some stories off my plate soon please.'

So I'm not thinking about adding anything to the plate until at least two stories are off it. I actually think I could finish Constellations this month, and then I'll get stuck into probably Gold or Blue, as well as Black and Stain. I want to write two Palmarosa chapters this month as well.

I feel like I'm playing a very fast Tetris game in my mind all the time, lol