#lonelylesbianclub

[mrdespondency]

[witchskies]

ribs // lorde

[c0smicinsignificance]

I. Choke up the depression Feel it shape-shift to mania in your larynx You’re drinking bottled happiness now II. Find someone that scares you more than you scare yourself Rip your own heart out of your chest and put it in her hands You’ll only feel real when it hurts III. You’ll be a mirror The girl that dropped out of physics— Bend her light through your focal point Show her what she wants but does not need Your friends will say nothing about the bruises They all know reflected images are not real IV. Sink deep into your own body Search For the soul you convinced yourself was never really there to begin with Sickness eats at your brain and shreds the lining of your stomach Self diagnose, self medicate, self destruct V. Tell the boy in gym class about the pills you pop on the weekend Two years later he’ll crash his car rolling on the same prescription Shatters his ulna on the driver’s side window Quit those and started abusing his adderall Another casualty left in your wake VI. Continue to avoid yourself Internal monologue is canceled today Drown out any remnants of thought with music louder than your lungs when they scream for nicotine VII. Today you’re the cool girl in all black Tomorrow you’ll wear tie dye and soften your voice Spending the day wondering if your bisexuality is an excuse to ignore the burning need to find your identity VII. Music can’t drown out the intrusive thoughts Stay up all night waiting for the floor to fall out from underneath you Justify three days without sleep as a forced shift to mania Realize you’re still wallowing in crippling depression VIII. Switch to uppers IX. Get clean under a microscope when she gets sick of carrying around your arhythmic heart Detox in front of an audience Spend March sweating and shivering Dry heaving in the back corner of the girl’s bathroom between AP literature and AP psychology There’s no time to talk about it X. Spend a year learning to trust again Make progress through regression Hurt your friends See a doctor Keep an untouched bottle of pills on your nightstand Let them pile up month after month Is addiction okay if your name is on the bottle? XI. Become enchanted by the boy in your ceramics class Let him shatter the mirror you hide behind Force yourself to face the tough questions He’ll hold your hand as you navigate the shattered glass Lead him to safety–he doesn’t wear shoes XII. 2 a.m. on a school night and you’re sitting in his car looking up at the stars Wrapped in the blanket he keeps just for you Laughing at nothing and feeling everything This is it This is you And you are enough

Thank you for holding my hand while I find myself

[gayeames]

Red lips to match the sunburn I got today 💄💋

[mossbabie]

the cheesin face of a kid who's only got 2 more classes before 420 shenanigans begin ✌️

[moonshine-crew-blog]

(Hollywood Cemetery - March 8th, 2017)

[mrdespondency]

you just lose track 。 #portrait #femme #messingaroundoops #gpoy #lonelylesbianclub

[c0smicinsignificance]

Rough fingers softly tracing smooth skin Inhale sharply as they land lightly Treating the slum that is my body as a temple Ash-coated lungs, cookie dough, goose-down pillows Vanilla lip balm kisses expecting nothing more Drifting further from consciousness you pull me in tighter Innocent and intimate movements derived from subconscious affection

In your arms, I am home

[gayeames]

When your wife @cassiander mails you a hat you obviously have to take pics for her 💕

[witchskies]

(x)

[mossbabie]

recover the 🌍🌎🌏

[zippy-chai-blog]

darling, i was made for you ✨

[calametea]

I cut my hair last week hoping that removing it would remove your memory from my head but all it did was change the way I look and my mom keeps telling me ‘boys don’t like girls with short hair’ and I keep trying to tell her that’s the point. We haven’t talked in 6 weeks and I wish I could learn to be okay with that but my god I miss you and all the ways you cut me to pieces. You might not have been my first love or my best love or even my love at all but that doesn’t mean I never cared about you and I’ll be damned if this isn’t going to destroy me like all the others did. You aren’t the same person you were when I met you, and I’m sure as hell not either, but god I could have built cities with all the broken promises we made. My heart isn’t broken but it’s still missing pieces I thought that you could fill the holes of but now I know that the only one who can fill the black holes in my heart is me. I realize that you never could have loved me and that hurt more than I care to admit but god even if I didn’t love you I don’t think i could have tried any harder to.

We never were in love but we tried to be

[mossbabie]

feelin this luk...