#lol this is what happens when u allow the anon function

[happyheidi]

posting your generic looking dog under cottagecore just for attention. 0 people surprised about it lmao get that attention you desperately crave.

in regards to this generic Queen 💕

lol such anger such stranger. thanks!. I think she’s kinda cottagecore 🤔 It was more for my mum tbh cus she thinks it’s so cozy hearing ppl love her (like I do with moffe. And lots of pet owners do with their pets) but hey I’ll take it.

Some more generic dog pics #cottagecore

@brine-in-my-eyes ur tags 🥹🥹 UR THE CUTEST!!! “she’s so scruffy and silly and the most wonderfullest thing in the whole wide world” might be the sweetest most purely wholesome thing I’ve ever read. Thanks love 💕

@softshinee lol ikr? 🙈🙈😂😂👏👏

[annbourbon]

No hay problema te podría calentar y vas a querer estar desnuda para mi, y vas a querer que te manosee

.... Realmente no abrí los Asks para esto.... ^^u pero respondiendo a eso: No, lo dudo mucho.

[moethewriter]

Could u do 14 for that dialog prompt with finnick? I'm picturing district 13 reunion angst. You're an amazing writer!!!

Hello! Of Course I can! Thank you for the kind words anon! -- TITLE: Nothin's Gonna Harm You, Not While I'm Around ... WORD COUNT: 1.1k PAIRING: Finnick Odair x Reader WARNING: Mentions of violence, injury and torture (Nothing super extensive but it's there TAGS: Lot's of angst and introspection lol! SUMMARY: You couldn't look at this face, you knew it would break you. A/N: Thanks for another request! I very much appreciate it! This one is definetlely angsty, and since it's me tons Y/N being in their head and analyzing the situation. Of course I always take construction criticism so please feel free to leave it!

You stayed still, as the doctors surrounding you poked and prodded, checking over every aspect of your person. You knew this was protocol, you knew it was necessary … to help you, or even heal you. But this wasn’t helping. You were exhausted, and just wanted a shower. But above all you were frightened and in pain. The Capitol hadn’t been kind after you had been taken, in fact they were violent and you wanted to forget it all.

You were scared. 

The rescue hadn’t been the smoothest operation, The Capitol sparing no expense to keep you, Johanna, and Peeta in The Capitol. People had died, you could have died but you didn't. You had to put faith in the plan, the one that Haymitch Abernathy had explained, That Plutarch Heavensbee and District 13 had concocted. But that didn’t mean you were okay, that didn’t mean that you were ever going to be okay again

. 

When you had woken up in the Capitol instead of in the arms of Finnick, you had been horrified … You knew there was no escape, no way you could get out, despite ruminating on ever plan to get yourself and your friends out. 

The realization that you hadn’t been rescued from the arena had set in after listening to Johanna’s screams. But you couldn’t place the blame on anyone, you had all separated in there and Katniss was the face of the Rebellion, she needed to get out, they needed to save her before anyone else … The Mockingjay.

You could take some Capitol torture, is what you had thought, after all they had tortured you and Finnick for years after your games.

You winced, as a bright light filled your vision. The Doctors were shining a device in your face.. 

“Cognitive function, still good.” 

You wanted to let out the bitter laugh you had been holding back, but you couldn’t bring yourself too. Your brain was all there, of course. The Capitol and Snow hadn’t taken that from you yet.

Pain filled you, as one of them touched your leg firmly, feeling around the broken skin, the sores and blisters that hadn’t been quite allowed to heal yet. 

“Leg Injury is severe but it’s nothing that won’t heal.”

Right, you remembered having to be carried out of your cell by someone. You had always been quick. That’s something that saved you during your games. You had been fast, quick to hit and quick to run before someone could see you, like a phantom in the night. The Capitol … Snow had made sure you couldn’t run this time. 

“Not like the Mellark boy, she’s safe.”

Your head shot up at the mention of Peeta. You knew that if they rescued you, that Johanna and Peeta would be as well. But … What had happened to them? Fear laced your thoughts, weaving into your mind like a virus. They hadn’t been kind to Johanna, you could hear her screams from your cell … was she safe? 

You looked past the shoulders of the doctors, vision slightly blurry, trying to find your friends. You could see Johanna fighting back, she had always been feisty, you were glad that the Capitol didn’t take that from her. She was pissed, you could tell just by her face. You couldn’t blame her, either. 

Were you really safe?

“Can you tell us your name?” The female doctor asked, gently. She was clearly approaching this with some sense of tact.

Bile rose in your throat, as you shrunk into yourself. “Y/N L/N.” You whispered, voice hoarse, and throat raw. 

“You’re in District 13, you’re going to be okay.” The woman doctor said, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder.

You flinched back, violently, despite her gentleness.

“I know you’re frightened but it’s alright.” She spoke again

You couldn’t bring yourself to believe her. 

Nothing felt alright, in fact this whole situation had been fucked from the start, from the reaping to the escape plan … Nothing had gone right. 

“Y/N!? Y/N?!”

You knew who was calling to you. Finnick. But you weren’t sure if you even wanted him to see you like this. You felt broken, you barely felt like yourself at this moment, but you knew that he would fight his way to you. He always would. 

You sank desperately into your bed, shrinking as small as you could sniffling like some coward, or at least that’s what you felt like. 

He found you, after a while, of course he did. He would always find you, and he wouldn’t give up till he knew you were safe.

“Hey.” You could feel his presence crouching down beside you, his voice so quiet.

“Hey.” You whispered back, voice breaking as everything that had happened finally seemed to weigh down on you.

Finnick had always had that effect on you, always able to break down your walls with a simple word. 

You could feel him moving, and then his hand was on yours. You violently wretched it away, on an instinct, almost throwing yourself away from him. 

“Y/N” Finnick whispered, voice cracking.

Tears trailed down your cheeks, hot and salty, burning the small wounds on your face. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him, you didn’t want to see the heartbreak written across his face. Finnick had always prided himself on being a good actor, pretending to be The Capitol darling, but he was never able to do that with you.

The Capitol hadn’t broken you, but seeing Finnick hurt … you knew that would.

“I’m not going to hurt you, I would never hurt you.”

You let out a loud sob, unable to hold it back anymore. You needed him. His arms wrapped around you, and you allowed yourself to sink into the comforting feeling. It was different, everything was different now but he was still Finnick and you were still you. 

“God Finnick I-” 

You didn’t even know what to say.

“I know.” He said, pulling you into his chest. “I know.”

You didn’t know how long you stayed there, crying, and allowing yourself for the first time in weeks to be comforted by the person you loved. 

“I’d burn this world down for you, and Snow is going to be first.” He said, voice rough, rocking you in his arms. “The Capitol doesn’t know what’s coming to them, they hurt you and I can’t let that go. I won’t let that go. They’re never going to hurt you again.”

“As long as you come back to me.” You sniffled.

He kissed the top of your head.

“I will always come back to you.”

And you desperately hoped, with every bit of strength you could muster, that his words were true.

[sapphire-weapon]

I think the problem with a lot of RE fans (and in many other fandoms too, RE just happens to be the current topic), is that there's a belief being upheld, that whatever appears in canon material has to be free of criticism, just because it's canon!

To backup my point, I'll use Game of Thrones as an example. The show literally became infamous because of the backlash caused by its last season. It's not an exaggeration to state that the vast majority of fans and casual viewers (which are worldwide!) criticised it. Am I not allowed to point out Daenerys being out of character, just because the showrunners went ahead with that arc? Is the global viewership simply "just wrong about it", because hey, the showrunners made that decision. Leave it alone. It almost entirely killed the franchise. With books becoming a lost cause, HOTD has just about saved it.

My point being, just because something's canon, it doesn't mean it's good, nor is it free from negative opinions and thought pieces. That's what gets me about certain ship arguments. They have nothing of value to add to their stance... it's just "well, this and that canon storyline happened! So you're not allowed to say it's bad or try to analyse it from a different perspective!" Genuinely, how does someone like that even finish school?

It's unfortunately quite a popular opinion to have that worms its way into every piece of popular media. Just normalise questioning, analysing and constructively criticising the things we consume. That's supposed to be part of the enjoyment in my opinion. Also to add, it's important to recognise that franchises worth millions of dollars are much bigger than your curated twitter corner. Just because you and your friends bully people online, does not mean you're the spokesperson for RE (and others) consumerism. That is a toddlers perspective of the world, lol.

>it's important to recognise that franchises worth millions of dollars are much bigger than your curated twitter corner.

this is the single most important thing to keep in mind when trying to analyze a text and/or predict where a series is going to go, imo

it's so easy for your perspective to get fucked up when you sit in an echo chamber like that

that's why when cordial!aeon anon first came into my inbox, i was like "i need you guys to play video games that aren't RE" bc like

there was absolutely zero understanding of how the games industry actually functions and/or how Joe Average, who makes up the largest majority of consumers by MILLIONS, looks at the games he plays.

i worked at gamestop for eight years and let me tell u it is actually against capcom's best interest to develop their games around appeasing shippers, because shippers are responsible for only around roughly 10% of game sales -- and even that is being extremely generous. it will come as an upsetting shock to learn that a good portion (i estimate about 30%) of people who play video games skip the cutscenes entirely. the other 60% are people who just want a game that will hold their interest and make sense as they're going through it/not be embarrassingly stupid (like RE6 was).

like. no one has a more overinflated sense of self-importance than shippers who only talk to other shippers and engage with the medium in no other way.

[oexen]

Do you have any Valdemar headcanons you'd be willing to share? ^^

OF COURSE I DO thank u for asking anon, i ended up writing a bunch of stuff wehehe i hope u enjoy

Fluff

• I love to think that they have a secret penchant for cute tiny things, and I do mean things that are widely publicly accepted as cute and it would be super embarrassing if anyone found out. No one can ever know.

• They carry fantasy HotHands ™ in their pocket. :^)

• They’d get offended if you accused them of committing some atrocity or crime, but not for the right reasons. How dare you insinuate they’re a filthy pleb, obviously they’re above that, Fool.

• They really try to be funny, even if subconsciously. (Dr. 069 in the house, calling MC a Fool haw haw, oh woops, looks like I have interrupted your Romantic Endeavors :3c, how do you do fellow humans) One of these days someone will laugh at their dry ass non-jokes, right? Right???

• If they really wanted to they could whip out their tentacles to do menial tasks but it’s more fun to watch other more perishable beings try hard to do things for them

• Duck whisperer, no one knows why. Quackstor

• They never put anything extra in their tea.

• I think they’re generally very clean, and they’d smell like clean laundry or nothing. Alcohol would dry their shit all the way out, and it’s pretty difficult to keep yourself clean when you wear all white all the time, so I don’t think they’d smell like death, decay, chemicals, the dungeon, etc. They’re completely swaddled and must look ✨ crisp ✨. Their eldritch spaghetti form would have to smell like nothing or it would have an aoe instadeath radius for sure.

• Theatre kid. Horse kid. Where are their horse demon characteristics smh

• As much as they’re ~above humans~ they’re still thirsty for juicy drama and will use themself to that end. They’re more there for the drama than they’re an active threat unless they’re ordered to do things, but they’ve still shown they won’t follow orders to the letter unless they personally want to.

• They hate all the paperwork they’re stuck with :3

Angst under the cut!

• They’re touch-starved. Getting physically close to MC is a 2 birds 1 stone situation, they get to scare the pants off them (oops ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) )and they microdose intimacy.

• I like thinking about how Valdemar’s emotions, especially their love of discovery, were torn away from them over the course of their deal-making, so they’re now obsessed with science and research in the same way that Volta’s obsessed with food, they can’t stop pursuing it, they know they’re supposed to like it, but they can’t really taste the fruits of their or anybody else’s labor :’^) Their insistance that they ~love~ death and decay is a cover story, mostly. The sentiment used to have meaning.

• They could, once again, whip out their tentacles at any point when they’re alone in the dungeon all the time, but they try to remember what it is to feel like a person sometimes. They know no one’s coming down there anymore, and they’d save themself some trouble if they casually used demon powers, but they don’t. It’s weirdly vulnerable.

• Kinda fluff, kinda angst, Valdemar likes tea and the feeling of a warm drink is supposed to make people happier/friendlier as well as it simulates human touch, and I feel like they use that to feel something (like the ghost of a warm fuzzy feeling B’^) ) considering it’s something small and frivolous they go out of their way to enjoy. If you hold their hands they don’t feel the need to make tea as often ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) They cling to the last shreds of their humanity with everything they have or they wouldn’t be able to function properly.

• Underneath all their posturing and effortless intimidation, they know they fucked it all up big time, but they’ve at least convinced themself that they’ve accepted it. They’re stuck, bored as hell, and know they can’t reverse anything, so why bother entertaining the thought of regret? I think MC noting that Valdemar couldn’t have made certain expressions Muriel did speaks to that they only allow themself a small range of emotions.

• Their relationship with Death really closely mirrored Nadia’s relationship with the High Priestess, when they were human. They didn’t have a strong support network though, and thus were more inclined to accept deals from the Devil. Death might have taught them a lot, and Valdemar at least acts as if death and its processes are all they care for; they don’t have much else. I think they say a lot of things to convince themself that whatever they’ve done isn’t fucked up beyond all reason (ends justify the means wink wonk), as much as it also works as a facade.

• They started with good intentions, they wanted to discover things and help people, if they were that ancient alchemist, something made them desperate. They went too deep in the Devil’s bogo deal special, Death’s disappointment felt like a betrayal (Don’t you think I should help more people? Why are you so against my success?) and Death’s pain may not have occurred to them.

• The breakdown of Valdemar’s relationship with Death must have been long and painful on both sides at some point, but by the time Death was weakened like the Hierophant in Nadia’s route, Valdemar had their own blinders on🐴 and/ or was too deep in the Devil’s thrall to acknowledge what it really meant.

• They had a need for power and control over their life and ended up giving up what little they really had for illusions of these things, and once they realized that’s what was happening, it was far too late. Can’t half-ass it though I guess lol they said crank that shit up to 11. Then they just ended up with all the paperwork lmfao

Misc

• They helped create an entire society that at some point was even advanced and prosperous, and while they say they love to see it fall, it also means it’s in their best interest to help in bringing it up. They also would rather be employed than not, and love having opportunities to reject invitations to meetings and other things.

[dylanobrienisbatman]

Do u think mal treated alina well? I always hear people say he was angry at her all the time.

Short answer? Yes. I think he treated her incredibly well.

Long answer? Still yes. 100% yes.

And like, lets be clear. He was angry, a lot, but that was on purpose. Mal functions, especially in S&S and R&R, as an extremely human reminder, to Alina and the audience, that Alina is being corrupted. He is her best friend, the person who knows her best in the world, so he sees even the smaller changes in her that other people don't notice. But that doesn't mean he didn't treat her well.

And his anger is not directed at her, not specifically. He is not angry at her, so much as the situation, and those are very different. He knows that they have to get all of the amplifiers, to kill Darkles Sparkles and destroy the fold. He comes to accept (which is so so heartbreaking) that he will not get to have the future he wants to have with Alina, and that she will likely marry Nikolai and become the Queen and be Sankta Alina forever, and he is prepared to stand by her side anyway, loving her, unable to be with her while she is standing in the same room. He accepts that he can be nothing more than a blade in her hand, and he promises that he will give anything he can to her, even lay down his life for her. And he does!!

So of course he's angry!!!! Wouldn't you be?? The person you love most in the world, who you know loves you back, but you can't be together because suddenly they're the saint sent to save the world, and you're still.. just you? Just a soldier, just a regular man who has nothing more than the sword in your hand and the blood you can shed to offer the girl you've loved your whole life? That your future that you saw with the person you love has been ripped right out of your hands, and all you can do is watch, and try your hardest to support her, because that's what she needs from you? Wouldn't that make you FURIOUS?!

Would you not be sooooo angry, that you have to be the one to find the sea whip and the firebird, knowing that it will corrupt the person you love most, and that you may lose her to this lust for power, but still having to do it anyway because if you don't some evil fucking shadow douchebag will kill everyone? Wouldn't it make you just RAGE to know that you have to be the person to hand over the things that could destroy the person you love, because if you don't, the world will die? To have to make that choice, between the person you love and the world? And to know that it's not even a choice. He would never have not helped her. I mean for fucks sake, he died so that she could harness that power that she needed to save the world.

But... wouldn't you be mad? I sure would. (not you specifically, anon, this is more the royal you situation lol)

And, on the less extreme side, when he's at the little palace, Mal is faced with feelings of massive inadequacy, being unwanted, and unneeded, and feeling less than everyone around him, Alina especially. He faces huge amounts of classism and discrimination from the Grisha and Nikolai. I mean shit, Nikolai intentionally taunts him quite a bit when they first meet him. His whole "Oh I can marry her but you can be her side piece" little schtick? Like... thats not cute or funny. He is being a dick to Mal, on purpose. He is looking Mal in the face and saying "you are nothing, and you will be nothing except what I allow you to be". And all of this personal stuff is happening on top of the big stuff. So of course Mal is angry. He has every right to be.

But even when he's angry, he never treats Alina poorly. He stands by her side, he protects her unflinchingly, he stands aside and lets Nikolai try to woo her even when it's killing him to do so, and he does all of it because of how much he loves her.

So yeah, Mal says some stupid things, and he makes mistakes. But he's just a teenager. He apologizes for the things he says, and he learns from his mistakes, and he tries to be a better man. He pledges his life to Alina, and he stands by that promise until the very end. He would do anything for Alina, and he does, over and over and over again. And even when hes furious, and sad, and dejected, and lonely, he still runs to find her because he wants to show her the shooting stars.

[welcometothenightcourt]

Oh I have other reasons for suspecting did or osdd I’m just confused on if I have amnesia between switches! I’m trying to figure out if it’s did or osdd basically. i thought if I had the amniesa I described then that indicates amnesia between switches. I’m a bit confused on how it doesn’t indicate that and how do u know what is amniesa between the switches. like how do I know when that happens vs when it’s amniesa not between switches? also I saw some people say did and osdd1a is when u have amnesia at all and osdd1b is without amnesia or only has emotional amnesia and any other kinds would indicate did/osdd1a? So I’ve gotten mixed answers lol. um um also how come having emotional amnesia between switches doesn’t count as amnesia between switches?

These are all great questions, anon! Here’s to hoping I can give some satisfying answers!

When it comes to figuring out if the amnesia you have is amnesia between switches or not, I work on two tracks—either you figure out someone else has switched in for sure, and you realise you have a memory gap from that, or you take the amnesia you have and you operate on the assumption that it’s from switching unless proven otherwise. The first is more “secure” in that you know there’s a switch and since that amnesia lines up, the amnesia is almost certainly a byproduct of the switch, but the second allows you to move forward if you can’t find proof that someone else switched in, which some systems (especially questioning ones) may have extreme difficulty doing. That does not invalidate you at all, it means your system is still trying to do its job as it was designed to—covertly.

At this point, you’re probably wondering “how do I know if someone else switched in,” so here you go: Different ways of knowing someone else switched in could be noted from them, or seeing stuff/having done stuff you know that you absolutely would never do. (Once, I found my ukulele on the roof, like honestly people come on I would never do that). If something like that happens and you have no/almost no recollection of it, it’s fairly safe to say that your amnesia is from switching.

Alrighty, the second half of your ask is a little more nuanced, but here we go!

Amnesia in DID vs OSDD 1b is a fine line, and most times is decided based upon how it affects you in your life. If you have blackouts/greyouts, then it’s DID, no question about it. But emotional amnesia is where that line gets a little blurred.

Many OSDD 1b systems experience some level of emotional amnesia between alters. After all, if they didn’t, then what was the point of splitting in the first place? How do you protect people when you all remember and feel that trauma and pain the same? Emotional amnesia is what allows these systems to function as a system with purpose. Many alters may feel disconnected from memories, especially trauma memories, and that does include memories between alters and switches. That’s just part of having a dissociative disorder, honestly. But that amnesia doesn’t severely impede their life. They tend to recall events and people and actions between switches and even if they don’t hold the same or similar emotions towards them, or any at all on the memory, they’re not massively inhibited due to it.

Overall, amnesia between switches isn’t a defining factor in an OSDD 1b system’s ability to function. In a DID system, it absolutely is. That’s the primary distinction and factor between amnesia in DID vs OSDD 1b.

I really hope that made sense and helped!

[soundsaboutrighttumblr]

hello! i'm back again quite soon i know but i couldn't stay away, ur response spurred me on to share more ideas. i'm glad u liked my thoughts on those scenes, and ur p.s. made me laugh, ray is definitely a bag of sand hehe. speaking of collisions i was just reminded of their first meeting - now i can't help but think that final scene was meant to be a call back to that moment 12yrs ago too. back then they were strangers, and yzx ran away after the collision, but this time they've been through a lot and known each other for so long, psy reaches out to steady yzx who doesn't flinch in response anymore - ahhh these two. yzx was so ready for psy to push him away after the collision, and the surprise on his face when he just hands him the mug instead is so sweet. like, they're allowed this now! it's okay! they can collide in such different, softer circumstances, and life goes on, and they remain in each other's orbit - it's not painful like before (although maybe physically, poor yzx). collision as a metaphor for beginnings, somehow. the beginning of their acquaintance 12yrs ago, and now the beginning of something else...we don't quite know what, and maybe they don't either, but it's still a new start nonetheless. oh wbl writers i love u, thank u for all these easter eggs i keep stumbling on! anyway, what i really wanted to say was about our lovely deyi but now i've rambled about shouzhen, oops, so i'll send a separate ask for that~

Hi, anon!

Hello again!

Yes, I wrote about that bodily crash in an earlier meta obout episode 5 here.

I am not so much wiser about Shou Yi’s affective disorder, as to if it is some neurological condition, that can’t be ‘cured’, and therefore it just needs to be accepted that his inner life works differently, which does not mean it cannot be rich in it’s own way, or ‘more’ than he has allowed himself to have.

A neurodivergence much like Zhen Xuan’s Asberger’s. Which is just a different way of functioning, and finding your place in a world so much made for neurotypicals can be a challenge. 

A challenge that Zhen Xuan is thriving with, thanks to the jumpstart all those years ago from PSY, just by simply supporting his true needs, and taking a second look.

Or if it is a condition that can change over time, and some emotional can be ‘relearned’, by bridging the lost connection, by routine maybe.

That he has been in fact lying to himself about his condition, as the profile intro has suggested, where he says that he cannot lie to himself any longer, that there is a bond, the touble he can’t get out of, an interest of some kind, that kept him staring into the distance for all those years, looking, searching, even if he says with his condition, he cannot know what it means to be looking for someone for 12 years.

I mean, the way his character is portrayed by directional means, the imagery, cinematography, the soundtrack, that I mentioned here... It all rather hints at there being something ‘more’ to it. More that he admits in his words, and allows, leaning on his condition.

If it is all just self sacrifice, to not give Zhen Xuan an experience of love and life that is lacking, or a genuine struggle with his own condition...

I’d really love if this was explored in a future season, showing the validity of forms of commitment, that happen outside of the perceived norm.

Either way, his life choices and way of perceiving the world is so interesting and valid in its own unique way,I want to know more, about all of them, always, lol.

[jungshookz]

stuck with you || [roommate!taehyung]

❥ pairing: kim taehyung x reader

❥ genre: university!au, enemies-to-lovers, fratboy!tae??, comedy that’ll either make you chuckle out loud or roll your eyes and snoRT or maybe u won’t laugh that’s cool too, domestic fluff because i want to go grocery shopping with tae toO (but also fluff in general!!), smutty smut so make sure to read this with your phone’s brightness lowered all the dang way, hi @ librarian!namjoon!!! fratboy!jungkook is also in here 

❥ wordcount: 37k if ur reading this on mobile get rekt

❥ summary: kim taehyung becoming your new roommate is definitely up there on the list of the worst things that have ever happened to you. 

❥ note: it’s finally here! this is my biGGEst fic to date and all i’m going to say is get comfortable and maybe get a snack because you, my friend, are about to read a whole ass novel and embark on a rollercoaster of a fiC. hopefully this was worth the wait!! i didn’t think i was capable of writing so much and my fingers are about to fall off but it was totaLLY worth it!!!! there’s kind of a 10 things i hate about you vibe if u squint and also most of the dumB things tae does in this fic were inspired by my ex-roommate so i hope she never finds this lol but also everyone say thank u to her for inspiring roommate!tae! i hope u guys love/hate him just as much as i do! happy reading!! 

pst if u wanna talk to y/n or tae (or even applicant #8 if ur brave enough) ((you’ll get it soon)) u know what to do ;-)

(gif isn’t mine!)

(((and the read more function iS there but most of the time it doesn’t work on mobile :// i am sorry don’t attack me by sending passive-aggressive anon messages)))

                                    ━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━

“what do you mean you’re moving out?!”

namjoon can safely say that he’s never seen such pure, unadulterated rage simmering in your eyes

some apple juice dribbles out from your straw as your grip tightens around your juice box

he swallows nervously and tugs at his collar

is it just him or is it getting kind of hot in here

“i-i mean, you know, i… i don’t really know how else to explain it..,., i’m moVing out.,.”

it’s a good thing he decided to break it to you while you guys were in a public space because he knows what you’re capable of

all he’s going to say is that there are witnesses everywhere so you probably shouldn’t hurt him right now

“who are you going to be living with?” you huff and lean forward a little “i’ll kill them.”

“i’ll be living by myself…,.,” namjoon smiles sheepishly “…please don’t kill me” he adds meekly

“no promises.” you mutter grumpily and take a sip of juice

you knEW there was a reason why namjoon gave you two cookies instead of one today

he was trying to butter you up!!!!!

that smooth bastard

a moment of silence goes by

you groan and immediately slump down on the table and namjoon jumps slightly

“namjOON why didn’t you tell me earlier??”

“i’m sorry!!!!!! i’ll make it up to you somehow!!!!” he reaches across the table to pat your head “and i’ll pay my share of the rent for this month so you don’t have to worry about the power going out!”

“that’s not the poinT, joon! the point is in first year we promised we’d live with each other until we graduated and you’re pulling out of the deal a yEAR earlier-“

“i will very gladly help you find a new roommate! i know you haTe meeting new people so i will happily sit by your side as we meet all the candidates. look, i already put an ad up for you and a bunch of people already messaged me saying that they were interested!”

“but i don’t want a new roommate.” you grumble and prop an elbow up on the table before resting your cheek against your fist “who’s going to pack my lunches for me now?”

“is that the only reason why you’ve kept me around for so long?” namjoon teases lightly and reaches across to pinch your cheek “c’mon, it’s not going to be all that bad! part of university life is opening yourself up to new people and all that!”

namjoon frowns slightly when you don’t respond

there’s a little divot in between your brows and the smallest of pouts on your mouth anD your eyes are getting a little glossy so he can’t help but feel a little bad

it’s not that he’s sick of living with you

it’s just that.,,. he feels like third year is a good time to get his own place!

he’s loVed living with you and it’s not like he’s never going to see you again!!!!! he’ll just see you less!!

besides the fact that you two literally live together you guys practically see each other every day on campus because you always have lunch together (except for wednesdays and the occasional friday when namjoon has lectures/tutorial sessions that bleed into lunch time)

not to mention you’re always welcome to come and hang out at his new bachelor pad

namjoon purses his lips before letting out a sigh “say, how about this? i’ll continue to pack your lunches two times a week, how does that sound?”

you slurp up the rest of your juice and namjoon reaches over to yank the straw out of your mouth when he notices you starting to chew on it (you always start chewing on your straws when you’re stressed about something)

“are we still going to hang out on the weekends and stuff?”

“of course! and you can come hang out with me at the library after classes and we can walk to the bus stop together and then go our separate ways”

namjoon probably shouldn’t have thrown in that last bit but oh well

you let out a sigh “pack my lunches three times a week and you have yourself a deal.”

namjoon sticks his hand out and you give him a firm shake and follow it up with a fist bump before ending it by wrapping your pinky around his (when u guys came up with this handshake he was the one who added that last part)

“so -“ you raise a brow “let’s figure out who i’m going to be replacing you with.”

namjoon gives you a warning look

and so, it begins

the hunt for your new roommate

this should be easy!

a lot of people have contacted namjoon through his ad showing interest in the apartment and namjoon did you the favour of organising all the names onto one long list

namjoon actually took care of a lot of the details so all you have to do is sit there and talk to people

and you love talking to people!!!

you have a long day ahead of you but if it ends in you getting a new roommate you’ll be satisfied

luckily it’s a sunday and you don’t usually have plans on sunday

you even put out snacks and drinks for them on the coffee table to show how amazing of a roommate you’ll be (but also you put it out mainly because you know you’re going to become peckish halfway through the day)

“so, what are some of your hobbies?” you smile lightly and lean back against the couch

katie (she’s suPEr duper nice and you have a good feeling about her and she’s literally the firSt person you’re interviewing) grins excitedly before clapping her hands together and turning around to unzip her backpack

your brows knit together in confusion when you hear the slight tinkering of glass coming from her bag

and then she unzips it fully and shows you what’s inside

huh

“you have a bag of… empty mason jars…?” you trail off and tilt your head

why in the world would she collect empty mason jars

maybe she… sells mason jars?

either way it’s kind of odd but as long as she’s not hurting anyone it’s whatever

you can deal with a mason jar hoarder

“yep!” katie sighs and taps the side of the jar gently “i collect sounds.”

you blink owlishly at her and the whole time she keeps a faT smile on her face

“you collect- i’m sorry, i don’t think i follow-”

“do you like harry styles? i went to his concert last summer.”

you’re not sure how harry styles relates to mason jars but

aight

“oh yeah, i love harry styles, he’s very easy on the eyes and his songs are-“ she pulls out a mason jar and turns it so that you can look at the label on the front “…does that say harry styles concert?”  

“this memory is vEry special to me so i don’t usually open it, but i quite like you, so i’ll share some of this with you-“ she leans forward and untwists the cap before lifting it juSt a little bit

“oh, jesus.” namjoon mutters to himself

…

namjoon raises a brow when he sees you lean in a little

you have goT to be kidding

you cannot seriously be falling for this  

“ya hear that?????” she squeals and closes the jar before tucking it back into her bag “when i get angry i just listen to my sounds and they bring me to my happy place.” she sighs and cradles another jar to her chest

you squint your eyes to read the label

the label on it says-  

my goD that jar is labelled ‘grandma’s funeral’

what sound would even come out of that jar?? the sound of her family soBBing??

“o-oh! that’s… great. it’s good to have… hobbies.” your knuckles tighten around the clipboard and you swallow thickly

okay

so

it turns out katie is on a one way train to crazy town

“…we’ll let you know!”

now

the next guy

you’re definitely a fan of

probably even more than katie before you found out she was kind of veRy crazy

in fact

you like him so much that you’re allowing him to stay and chat for longer since the next person texted namjoon and said they were going to be a little late

his name is bukjoon which is a name you’ve never really heard before but the most important thing here is that he seems like a sweet guy anD he seems like a great roommate

he fits into your life perfectly and you’re honestly ready to just hand him a pen so that he can sign the lease

namjoon, on the other hand

namjoon doesn’t like the vibes from this guy because he’s eErily similar to him and he doesn’t know how you’re not picking that up

also he brought homemade chocolate chip cookies shaped like stars and you’ve already eaten like half the batch and namjoon doesn’t like that you haven’t touched the finger sandwiches that he made for you

“just to double check… your- your name is bukjoon. kim bukjoon?” namjoon tilts his head slightly before looking down at the list of names again

“yep!” the other male smiles brightly at namjoon before turning to look at you “now, a little bit about me as a potential roommate… i love cooking, cleaning, doing laundry - that includes ironing, steaming - i love all of it!”

you gasp

“that totally works out because usually namjoon takes care of the cooking and the cleaning and the laundry! i help take out the trash so-“

“oh, great! i hate taking out the trash.” bukjoon laughs lightly and namjoon narrows his eyes when he spots the faintest of dimples embedded in his cheeks

what in the freSH hell is this

he trails his eyes over bukjoon’s crisp button up tucked into a pair of slacks

his sensible dress shoes glint slightly from the lights and namjoon looks down at his own pair of dress shoes

glint

he isn’t going to lie

he feels slightly threatened right now

“also, i’m a total nature documentary freak-“

“oh my god, that’s so perfect! i love watching nature documentaries and i think you’ll make a great replacement for nam-“

“you know whAT-“ namjoon looks bukjoon dead in the eye as he aggressively scratches out his name on the clipboard “we’ll let you know.” he smiles cooly and tilts his head “…you can leave now.”

and bukjoon can take his damn star-shaped cookies with him for aLL namjoon cares

now, this guy…  

to say the least,,.

is very, very creepy (he didn’t even write his name down on the sign up sheet - he wrote down ‘applicant #8’)

“so…” you clear your throat after a full minute of silence (you asked him how his day was going so far and he just glared at you in response) “are you a student or do you wo-“

“i work.”

“cool! what kind of job-“

“i’m an embalmer.”

ah

yes

embalming

…what the heck is embalming

“an embalmer- sorry, what’s an embalmer?” you furrow your brows and lean forward a little bit

“i preserve corpses. would you like to know more about how to embalm bodies?”

okay ur not saying that’s a little weird

but uh

that’s a liTTle weird

“not particu-“

“there’s a lot of work that goes into it. for example, i have to embalm arteries as well after completely draining the blood from the heart.”

wait what

“how about you tell us about how you’d be as a potential roommate for y/n?” namjoon clears his throat and gives applicant #8 a polite smile

“i keep things very clean. very neat. i go to bed quite late. i do not usually invite guests over. i am quiet. please respect my privacy. do not go into my room. especially at night.”

you nod in agreement “yes, of course, i would never want to invade-“

“also, if the police ever call you, it would be best if you just pretended that you’ve never heard of me.”

uH

you swallow thickly and scoot a little closer to namjoon

namjoon reaches over and holds his arm out over you as if the both of you are preparing for this guy to just whiP a knife out and stab your eyes out

applicant #8 looks around before staring at you dead in the eye

you smile uneasily and wrap an arm around namjoon’s bicep “hey, that’s… funny! that’s a funny joke-“

“i see dead people.”

“wE will let you know!” both you and namjoon exclaim simultaneously

“i don’t know how much longer i can do this.” you groan and flop your arm over your eyes as you slump back against the couch

“you better buCk up because we’re only halfway through with the list.” namjoon looks over at the front door when the doorbell rings

you give your cheeks a couple pats to wake yourself up

c’mon

you can do this

you just have to get through a handful of people and then you’ll be done

namjoon squeezes his own cheeks because they’re so soRe from smiling politely all day

he plasters another smile on his face as he opens the door

“hi, you must be-“

“before we get started, you need to know a couple of things about me.” she pushes past namjoon and plops herself down on the couch

you and namjoon exchange glances and joon shrugs before closing the door

“well…” you clear your throat and cross your legs “that is what we’re here for, so-“

“firstly, i’m going to need to rearrange all of this furniture after moving in. the feng shui in here is way off.” she scrunches her nose up before digging through her huGe suede mary poppins looking bag

“i don’t know a lot about feng shui but i’d be happy to rearrange the furniture if you-“

“i’m in touch with my inner chi. are you?” she raises a brow and pulls out a tuft of sage and a lighter “the energy here is… dark. i’ll cleanse this place for you.”

“that’s really not- well, actually, the last guy in here was kind of creepy so maybe the sage is a good idea.” the sage immediately starts smoking as soon as she lights it and she gets up and starts pacing around the living room “i, uh, i don’t know a lot about my inner chi either, so…”

“yeah, that’s pretty obvious.” she snorts and waves the stick around

okay

weLL

you could do without the attitude but so far she seems harmless

“…is that going to set off the fire alarm?”

“i’ll go and open the balcony doors.” namjoon murmurs and points to the balcony windows before getting up off the couch

“i need to be in the privacy of this apartment for at least five hours a day because i like to take the time to meditate alone and i don’t want you to disturb my crystals.”

“you don’t want me to disturb your crystals…?”

“they charge in the sun to regenerate energy so i’ll need you out of the apartment from… 12 to 5. crystals are good for my energy and my soul.”

jesus christ

that’s IT

you’ve had ENOUGH

“i’m going to need you out of my apartment right now before i shove those crystals up your-“

“we’ll let you know!” namjoon slaps a hand over your mouth before you get to finish threatening her

“well… what do you think?” namjoon shuts the door behind him after escorting the crazy sage lady out (she was upset that she wasted her tuft of sage at a place she definitely wasn’t going to be living in and you’re pretty sure she tried casting a curse over the apartment but namjoon kicked her out before she had a chance to do that) “that was everyone…”

“you’re kidding me. that was everyone?” you frown and look over the list of names that have all been crossed out

“i mean… we met twenty eight candidates today… that’s a lot of people!” namjoon purses his lips and taps his pencil against the clipboard “just to let you know, that bukjoon guy was my least favourite-“

“i liked him! he was really nice-“

“he wasn’T-“

“he was-!”

“look, i have to go because i took the late night shift at the library-“ namjoon checks the time on his watch and winces slightly “shit, i’m going to be late!” he hands you his clipboard before picking his backpack up off the couch and unzipping it to check if he has everything “dinner’s in the fridge, don’t open the door for strangers - definitely don’t open the door for that embalmer guy if he comes back - if you turn the stove on please remember to turn it off… i’ll be back by midnight!” he smiles brightly and swings his backpack over his shoulder

“see you later, alligator” you hum and set the clipboard aside before making yourself comfortable on the couch

“in a while, crocodile!”

slam

you purse your lips in thought as you flick through all the new movies and shows on netflix

you could binge watch friends for like the tenth time

maybe watch that new murder mystery movie?

you definitely don’t want to watch a horror movie alone because you get the feeling that applicant #8 is going to pop out of nowhere and slit your throat with a dull knife

oOh you can watch that new nature docuseries

surprisingly those nature documentaries aren’t as boring as you thought they were

you can thank namjoon for your newfound love for nature documentaries

you nod to yourself and turn the volume up before pulling the throw blanket up to your chin

time to watch tv until your eyes roll out of your skull!!!

>:-)

“nothing symbolises our relationship with the high seas better than the blue whale…”

it’s about 10:30 now

namjoon left for work at around 5

the pasta casserole that namjoon made for you sits on the coffee table half eaten and with a fork stabbed into it

an open bag of tortilla chips and some guacamole also sit abandoned on the table

you’re pretty sure you ate like a family sized serving of pasta but you know what

sometimes it just be like dat!!

you’re also pretty sure namjoon would’ve scolded you for not using a plate and instead eating straight out of the pan but he’s not here so touGH luck

you’re on episode five-and-a-half of the docuseries (each episode is about an hour long) and unsurprisingly your eyes are starting to get a bit fuzzy because of how long you’ve been staring at the screen

which is why you took a break from your binge to take a shower just to give your eyes a break

you left the episode playing because it always creeps you out when the apartment is completely silent and you’re home alone

so now you’re sitting on the arm of the couch with your hair wrapped up in a towel and a toothbrush shoved into your mouth

“weighing 200 tons and 30 metres long, these are the largest animals ever to have existed…” you brows knit together in fascination when a blue whale swims across the screen

wowIE those things are huge

you reach down to scratch at the side of your bare thigh before continuing to brush your teeth

chakkachakkachakkachakka

you’re so enthralled with the whale on the screen that it takes you a couple seconds to register that someone’s knocking on the front door

you turn to look at the door and feel a little bit of pAnic rise within you when you hear them knock again

you don’t know if you should quickly run to the bathroom to spit your toothpaste out or just open the door with a frothy mouth

eh

it’s probably namjoon

he always forgets his house keys!!!

“i’m comingph, i’m comingph!” you reach up to wipe at the toothpaste beginning to dribble out of your mouth as you make your way to the door

chakkachakkachakkachakka

you shove your toothbrush into the side of your mouth before reaching down for the handle

“did yvou pheriously forget your keyphs again-?!” you open the door expecting to see namjoon standing there with a sheepish smile on his face but-

huh

“…you’re not namvjoon.”

oh good god

you have no idea who this person is but whoever he is he’s making you sweAT

he’s wearing a plain white tee tucked into a pair of distressed blue jeans and he has a comfy looking black and white flannel draped over him as well

obviously dyed honey brown hair peeks out from underneath his beanie

two black studs in his ears

“sorry to let you down.” he smirks lightly and his tongue pokes out to swipe over his bottom lip

he has the kind of face that you would describe as rather boyish and handsome

very chiseled as well

and that voice

oh, that voice

it’s slow and deep and it feels like you’re wading through warm honey

it hits you that you literally don’t have any shorts on and you instinctively tug your (namjoon’s) shirt down in a pathetic attempt to cover up a little more

you pull your toothbrush out of your mouth and pRay that you don’t accidentally spit on this veRy attractive stranger and you reach up to wipe your mouth with the back of your hand

you have half a mind to just swallow the mouthful of toothpaste but that’s just nasty yo

so you kind of manoeuvre the toothpaste to one side of your mouth so that you can speak normally

“can i help u?” you clear your throat

he pulls a flyer out from his back pocket and you recognise that it’s the roommate flyer namjoon made

oh

“you still looking for a roommate?”

“who… wants to know?” you clear your throat and keep your eyes trained on the flyer

“i’m taehyung. kim taehyung.”

cool so he introduces himself like james bond

“my friends call me tae.”  

“well, taehyung, it’s nice to meet you. i’m y/n y/l/n. …my friends call me… y/n…” you stick your hand out for him to shake and turn your head discreetly to look over your shoulder

the living room is a mESS

you turn back to face him “…could you give me a minute?”

taehyung doesn’t get a chance to respond before you’re shuTTing the door in his face

the next minute spent is the most chaotic minute you’ve ever experienced in your entire life

you turn the volume down on the tv and for a secOnd you can’t help but wonder if taehyung is going to judge you based on what you’re watching on netflix

maybe you should turn the tv off??

nO no you’re overthinking it just leave it on

you put the bag of chips and the tub of guac on the empty side of the casserole dish before rushing to the kitchen and shoving everyThing into the fridge

you spit the toothpaste out into the sink and quickly rinse your mouth out before tossing your toothbrush aside

it would probably be a good idea to leave your hair up in a towel otherwise your wet hair is going to make you look like a drowned rat

is it too late to slap on some makeup??? maybe cover up the pimple on your forehead or drAw some damn eyebrows on????

taehyung raises a brow when he hears a loud thump from inside the apartment

hm

you nearly trip over yourself as you hop back to the front door while slipping a pair of pyjama shorts on

jesus chRISt

you check yourself out in the mirror hanging on the wall next to the coatrack

well

this is as presentable as you’re going to get

“everything okay?” taehyung laughs lightly when you open the door sliGhtly out of breath

“everything’s perfect!” you nod enthusiastically “come on in” you step aside to let taehyung in and you let out a breath as you shut the door behind you

okay

just take it easy

be cool

be cool!!

you’re super cool

cooler than a dang cucumber that’s how cool you are

“pretty nice place you got here…” taehyung hums as he looks around and makes his way to the couch

“thank you! make yourself comfortable… do you want some tea, or coffee, or… i have a couple juice boxes in the fridge if you’re into that?” you scratch the back of your neck and gesture towards the kitchen

“a juice box sounds nice!” he smiles and plops himself down on the couch and smooths his hand over the soft fabric

you nod and head to the kitchen but turn to glance at him over your shoulder briefly “so, taehyung, tell me about yourself!”

“well, i’m a third-year student, i’m majoring in business and economics, minoring in art history, uh… oh, sorry i came by unannounced, by the way! i meant to sign up for a slot but i completely forgot and i figured it’d be alright to swing by briefly just to talk to you-“

“it’s totally fine! no big deal” you step out from the kitchen with two boxes of juice in your hands and you hand one to taehyung before sitting down next to him “as you saw i was just getting ready for bed but it’s honestly no biggie”

he punctures the hole with the straw before taking a sip

“tell me about your previous living situations” you cross your legs and turn to face him

taehyung tucks one leg under the other and turns to face you a little more

“well, i used to live in a… house, with a couple of other guys, but uh, i just thought it’d be a good idea to find a place with less people, you know? sharing a washroom with four other guys gets rough sometimes.” he snorts lightly and takes another sip of juice

“hm, that’s a fair point. i mean, if you lived here you would have to share a washroom with me but i’m a loT cleaner than four guys.” your eyes flicker to the tv for a second

you’ve always been awful at maintaining eye contact and there’s nO way you’re going to be able to hold taehyung’s gaze for more than five seconds without breaking into a cold sweat

“yeah, i don’t think i have to worry about you pissing all over the floors.” taehyung teases and shakes his head “but, a little bit more about myself as a roommate since that’s what i’m here for - i’m pretty chill, so i don’t think you have a lot you need to worry about. y’know, i try to keep things neat, try to keep things quiet and respectful and all that. you don’t have to worry about me bugging you or anything because i usually just keep to myself - it won’t even feel like you have a roommate!” he jokes before clearing his throat “is there anything that you… want to share with me?”

“well, let me think…” you purse your lips in thought and shift slightly “i think it’s super important that household chores are split evenly so like… if you finish the milk then yoU should be responsible for buying a brand new carton of milk at the supermarket! i actually have a chore chart stuck on the fridge so that we can see who’s in charge of what for the week.”

you falter slightly

oof

does the whole chore chart thing make u sound dorky

to be fair the chore chart was namjoon’s idea so he’S the dork in this situation but there’s no time to expLAIN

QUICK change the subject and make yourself sound like leSS of a freak

“uh, paying the bills on time is always a good thing! so… as long as you have money for me at the end of each month it’ll keep me from nagging you - noT that i’m like constantly going to be nagging you if you moved in with me but you know-“

taehyung lets himself space out for a moment as you continue to babble on and on

from what he can gather you seem like a decent person

a little bit of a doofus but still a decent person

you’re not bad to look at either

there’s something oddly endearing about you but he can’t quite figure it out yet

he nods and smiles and continues to pretend like he’s listening to you when in reality he’s singing that new taylor swift song in his head

all he has to do is play along and work his charm so that he can weasel his way into this apartment

are you still talking about the chore chart?

he has to admit

you seem like you’re a little uptight about certain things but honestly he just needs a place to live for the next year so he’ll have to find a way to deal with it

“you can go over the rules when i officially move in, how does that sound?” taehyung reaches out and places his hand over yours and you feel your cheeks flush slightly at the sudden initiation of c o n t a c t

“oh! uh, well, there’s a whole list of people that are also looking to move in so i can’t just…”

this is why you can’t do these things alone

if namjoon was here he would know exactly what to do

he’d probably tell the applicant that he’ll keep in touch and let him know but it seems like taehyung is taking advantage of the fact that you are alone..,., and defenceless.,,..

taehyung is noT leaving without knowing that he’s going to be your new roommate

“i’d like to move in as soon as possible, if that’s okay with you.”

“i, um, well, the lease expires this thursday and namjoon’s moving out on friday-“

“great! i can totally do friday.” taehyung chirps and sets his empty juice box down on the coffee table

waiT

your eyes widen when you realise that he’s talking as if you agreed to let him move in which is something you definitely did noT do yet

“moving in will be easy because i only have a couple of boxes of stuff anyway.” he hums and scoots a little closer to you until his knee bumps up against yours

“i-i, uH, you see, the thing is..,,.” you laugh uneasily and put your own juice box down “i still need to think about-“

“i personally think we’d make great roommates, don’t you, darling?” he hums and reaches over to tuck a strand of hair back into your towel with his pinky and you swallow thickly

for some reason you feel like you’re not allowed to say no to him

you already hate saying no to people but you feel like you really reaLLY can’t say no to taehyung

friCk

it feels like everything is happening too quickly

what would namjoon do

#wwnd!!!!!!!!

okay

u know what

just say: ’i’ll let you know’

i’ll

let

you

know

:-)

saY IT

….SAY IT

“…i’ll see you on thursday, y/l/n!” taehyung chirps happily as he steps into the elevator

he pokes his head out to give you one last wave and you let out a nervous laugh before shooting him a thumbs up

you close the door and reach up to scratch your head  

what just happened

what just haPPEneD

“…what just happened?” you breathe out and press your hands against your reddening cheeks

what just happened was that yoU just found your new roommate

goodbye kim namjoon

hello kim taehyung

you feel like you need to take another shower to shake yourself out of the funk that kim taehyung has put you in

“oh, by the way!!!! i don’t know how i completely forgot to tell you this but - i found a roommate!” you smile excitedly as you and joon take a seat at your usual lunch table

“oh!!!!!! that’s great!!!” namjoon grins while polishing his apple on his sweater vest “what’s his name?” he falters and narrows his eyes at you “…it better noT be buk-“

“taehyung! kim taehyung? something like that.” you shrug and take your baggie of baby carrots and cucumbers out of your lunch box

namjoon packed ur lunch for you :~)

“kim taehyung? kim… taehyung…” namjoon furrows his brows

that name sounds oddly familiar and he doesn’t know why

“i think you’ll really like him! he’s super polite and very charming and-“

“oh! kim taehyung!” namjoon’s eyes light up for a second when he remembers the face to the name

and then you can point out the moment the light dies in his eyes

uh oh

that doesn’t seem good

“oh. kim taehyung…” he lets out a breath “huh. i didn’t think you… would get along with someone like him.”

“what are you talking about?” you knit your brows together in confusion

namjoon presses his lips together and shrugs

“you really haven’t heard about kim taehyung? at all?”

you shake your head

“all i’m going to say is one time he came into the library with his frAT-bro friends - they were all very obviously drunk out of their minds - and he used the copier machine to make copies of his bare ass before plastering it around the library.” namjoon raises a brow before shuddering “i still get nightmares about it. i can’t touch the copier machine without disinfecting it three times beforehand.”

you wince

oof

that doesn’t seem like someone you’d want to be roomies with

“maybe we’re thinking of different kim taehyungs?” you offer meekly and crunch down on a carrot

“mm… no. i’m sure we’re talking about the exact same one. super deep voice - one that would be good for narrating a nature doc or one of those asmr videos on youtube - dyed brown hair - i think i saw him walking around with like, eLmo red hair once - are we talking about the same one?”

frick

“…okay, we’re talking about the same one.” you swallow your bite and suck some hummus off your thumb “well, you said he was drunk! people do silly things all the time when they’re drunk. you know, like that time you got super wasted and wouldn’t let me leave your room until i sat down and read the entire dictionary as your bedtime story.”

“what are you two squabbling about without us?” you jump when hoseok and jin suddenly appear with their lunches

hoseok slides in next to you and steals the baby carrot pinched in between your fingers before popping it into his mouth

“y/n’s new roommate is kim taehyung.” namjoon deadpans and hoseok and jin immediately exchange glances

“oh boy”

“bold choice”

“wha- am i the only one who doesn’T know about kim taehyung??” you exasperate and steal one of hobi’s fries in retaliation

he smacks your hand immediately and you scowl

“he’s a playboy - and that’s coming from me.” jin raises a brow and namjoon nods in agreement

“so what? what he does in his personal life doesn’t matter to me.”

“it’ll matter when he starts bringing girls home and the only thing you’ll be able to hear is obnoxious moaning aND the headboard knocking against the wall.” hobi snorts

“well, if it gets out of hand i’m sure he’ll tone it down after i talk to him about it.” you grumble and push your lunch box away a liTTle more aggressively than intended

“as if kim taehyung is going to listen to you - you’re about as intimidating as a baby lamb, y/n.”

you hate it when the guys treat you as if you’re a helpless little baby

you can make decisions on your own!!!!!

even if this was a bad decision it doesn’t matter because the point is yoU made this decision all by yourself and that’s something that’s super important to you

you don’t need to rely on anyone else!!!!!

with that being said

you’ve completely lost your appetite

you feel sick to your stomach

you can’t help but feel like you just made a fatAL mistake

the boys are acting like you signed a deal with the devil and you’re starting to believe you actually did

“how do you guys know so much about him anyway??”

“finish your lunch or else you’ll get cranky later-“ namjoon pushes your lunch box back towards you and raises a brow and you huff before digging out your sandwich

“i’m very good at eavesdropping.” jin points out “also, he’s usually at all the parties i’m at. aLso i hung out with him a couple times at those parties - he’s a friendly guy, don’t get me wrong, and i’m sure all it took to convince you to let him become your roommate was him looking at you with those chocolatey brown puppy dog eyes - but you, my friend… you’re fucked.”

“i am not fucked!”

“he’s friends with…” hobi trails off and drums his fingers against the table “what are their names again?”

“park jimin and jeon jungkook.” jin’s always been a walking encyclopaedia of campus gossip which is proving to be very useful at this time “they’re all basically the exact same person. sleeping around, causing trouble, being dickheads in general… one time i got hit in the back of my head with jungkook’s football and i didn’t even get a sorry-”

“you just said he was a friendly guy!!!” you don’t mean to interrupt jin in the middle of his fun little story but you just need to know what you signed yourself up for

“yeah, he’s friendly when he wants something from you, duh. he’s a dickhead the rest of the time.”

o god

taehyung definitely wanted something from u

he wanted the apartment from you

does this mean he’s going to become an asshole now??

what have you DONE

“…i’m sure it’ll be fine, though!” hobi smiles and pats your shoulder gently “…you gonna finish your sandwich or what?”

thursday rolls around muCh sooner than you would’ve liked

after your many, maNy conversations with jin (you sat him down and forced him to tell you eveRything that he’s ever heard about taehyung) you have come to the conclusion that kim taehyung is not who he presented himself to be and the next year of your life is going to be a living nightmare

he sleeps around a lot (which is totally fine with you like that’S not the thing you have a problem with) = loud sex is going to keep you up!!!!

he’s messy = you’re neat-ish!!!!

he’s a night owl = you’re a morning person-ish!!!!

he’s loud = you’re quiet-ish!!!!

he likes to throw parties = you hate parties!!!! you hAte the idea of having a group of strangers chilling out in your apartment getting their grubby straNGer hands all over your couch and your tv and youR food and youR juice boxes

“please don’t leave me.” you whimper and tighten your grip around namjoon’s arm before propping your chin up on his shoulder

most of namjoon’s stuff is already at his apartment but he came back to pick up one last box of his belongings but he feels like he should’ve just abandoned his sweaters

because you won’t let him leave and he needs to gO because he’s roasting a chicken in his oven!!!!!!  

“you’ll be fine, relax.”

“can’t you stay here til he comes?”

“my apartment’s going to burn down if i don’t leave now. look, i’m only a ten minute walk away, if you’re overwhelmed, you’re welcome to come and spend the night.”

you purse your lips in thought and wrinkle your nose

“maybe i should just move in with you-“

“absolutely noT you are not moving in with me-“ namjoon reaches over and thwacks your forehead so that you let go of his arm “good luck - i’ll text you later!”

damn it

so

taehyung swings by an hour and a bit later with a bright, boxy smile on his face ready to move on into namjoon’s room

you had to give yourself a mini pep talk before opening the door for him with a forced smile

you asked him if he needed any help bringing anything up but he insisted on taking care of everything himself because he didn’t want to be a bother to you which definitely surprised you

you also offered to help him unpack his boxes but he told you to take it easy and just watch some tv or something (“why don’t you watch one of those animal documentaries you like so much?”)

maybe jin was wrong about him!!

see

you shouldn’t believe rumours so quickly!!

you were silly to get all scared and panicky

you gave him a quick tour even though there’s not a lot to the apartment

his bedroom is next to yours

the bathroom is down the hallway

the kitchen is there

this is the living room

the laundry room is on the 10th floor and you keep a little baggie of quarters in the chest by the front door

“taehyung?” you knock on his door before poking your head into the room

he already has a couple posters up on the wall so it seems like he’s settling in pretty nicely

taehyung lets out a quiet breath and rolls his eyes when he hears your voice

you can’t go like 20 minutes without bugging him and he gets that you’re just trying to be friendly and helpful but like

you really need to relax

he’s in the middle of hanging some shirts up in his closet and he forces a smile onto his face before turns to look at you “hey! what’s up?”

“i have a little housewarming gift for you!” you pull a little potted plant out from behind your back before stepping into his room “it’s a baby peace lily!” you hold it up for him to look at “it was actually supposed to go to namjoon but i forgot that i already gave him a little cactus for his desk so… i thought maybe you’d like something to spruce up your room!”

taehyung looks at the tiny plant in your hands

oh

that’s kind of nice of you

it’s not that he doesn’t like you or anything because you do seem nice

you’re just on the opposite end of the spectrum compared to him in terms of personalities (and from what he can tell, social status)

which isN’t a big deal but

eh

he’s just not used to you

your smile falters for a second and you look over at him with wide eyes “noT that your room isn’t alreAdy spruced up but i just thought that maybe-“

“thank you very much, i love it already.” taehyung laughs lightly and walks over to you before plucking it out of your hands “i don’t have any gifts for you because i didn’t think i…” he sets the plant down on the window sill and brushes his fingers over the leaves before glancing at you “-needed to give you anything…”

he smiles sheepishly and scurries over to his bed for his backpack

he unzips it quickly and spills the contents of it out onto his bed

“oh god, don’t worry about it, you definitely didn’t have to get anything for me, i just-“

“ah! here we go.” taehyung grins as he pulls a brand new pack of gum out of the mounTain of loose papers and pens

he stands up before handing it to you with both hands and bowing a little “a fresh pack of gum for my wonderful new roommate. it’s my favourite flavour - strawberry!”

you laugh lightly and take it from him

yeah

you think you’re going to get along really well with kim taehyung

he’s not bad!!!

not bad at all

:~)

so

now that namjoon no longer lives here you’ve taken it upon yourself to become the ‘captain’ of the apartment

this basically means you’re in charge of eveRything because you feel like taehyung isn’t exactly the leader type

the thing is

every morning after you got up namjoon would already have the apartment cleaned up from the night before

the pillows would be fluffed and arranged neatly; the throw blanket folded up and sitting on the sofa chair

the blinds would be pulled up to let the sunlight in (and he usually opens the balcony doors just a crack to let some fresh air in)

the coffee table dusted and free of greasy fingerprints or watermarks

the coffee machine turned on and churning away

the plants out on the balcony are watered (he took the bonsai and left you the daisies)

the dishes on the drying rack put away from the night before

namjoon did a loT now that you think about it

you never really realised how much he did around this place until now

now that.,.,,. he’s not ur roommate anymore.,,..

:-(  

it still huRTS

you thought it would be easy to fall into your new schedule but you fell asleep on the couch in the middle of fluffing the pillows and you ended up taking a 20 minute snooze

you woke up when you rolled over and fell on the floor with a thuMp lol

you rub at your bleary eyes as you shuffle over to the blinds

it’s 7am so the sun is just starting to peek out and say hello

you let out a yawn as you pull the string and the blinds go up slowly

one thing that you’ll always love about living all the way up on the 21st floor is the beautiful view of the city skyline

you see all the highways intertwining with each other and all the tiny cars going here and there

and of course the view of the ocean!!

no wonder namjoon liked to get up so early

the peace and tranquillity of watching the city beginning to wake up is actually pretty pleasant  

you let out a happy sigh before pushing the one of the balcony door handles down and opening it just a little-

“what do you think you’re doing?”

“jEsus-“ you practically jump ten feet into the air when your new roommate makes himself known

you whip around and almost jump again when you realise that taehyung is literally riGht behind you

“how did you get here so quietly??” you mumble before shaking your head and moving to open the other set of blinds so that you can open the other balcony door

you yank the blinds up and taehyung groans and squints at the sudden onslaught of liGht

“when you do it like that it’s sO LOUd”

you clench your jar and turn to face him before putting a hand on your hip

“well, how else am i supposed to open it??”

taehyung shoves you aside and pulls the string again so that the blinds roll back down

he turns to give you a pointed look before sHOVING his hand right in between the shutters and pushing the handle down to open the door “like that.”

wha-

wHAT

WHAT KIND OF MONSTROSITY-

“but- buT then you bend the shutters and- sEE SEE look you dented it!!!!” you push him aside to at least tRy and bend the shutters back into place and scowl to yourself when you see the little dent even after you straightened it out

“so what? if you have to open the balcony doors every morning you should do it like that because a) you don’T have to open the blinds and hurt your eyes so early in the morning, and b) you won’t wake me up from all the ruckus!” taehyung states as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world

“i’ll take your suggestion into consideration next time, thank you” you smile through gritted teeth and follow him to the kitchen

taehyung opens up the fridge and pulls out the carton of apple juice

he unscrews the lid of the apple juice carton and you’re about to ask him if he knows where you put the cups but thEN he starts chuGGing out of it like an uncultured sWINE and you literally fEEL your heart stop

that is so nASTY

he lets out a satisfied ‘ah~’ before putting it back into the fridge

“anyways, now that i’m up,” he slams the fridge door shut and turns to face you with a bright smile “you gonna make breakfast for us or what? because i am starving!”

you know what

you think you’re getting used to sharing a washroom with taehyung

it’s actually not that bad besiDes the fact that he occasionally forgets to put the toilet seat back down but u know what it’s totally fine it’s not a big deal

all you’re saying is that joonie never forgot to put the toilet seat down because he’s very courteous and knows that in the morning when you’re half asleep you’re not going to remember to put the seat down-

“chRist-“ you gasp in shock when your ass basically falls riGHt into the toilet bowl and you reach out next to press a hand against the wall while the other grips at the countertop

you let out a groan and get up before quickly turning to put the seat down

but yes

as you were saying

it’s really not that bad sharing a washroom with taehyung

you flush the toilet before pushing the shower curtain aside to turn the tap on

you hum to yourself and pull your shirt off before tossing it into the hamper

you just have to get used to the fact that taehyung isn’t like namjoon

your brows furrow when you reach under the tap to check the temperature of the water

,.,.why is it still.,,. cold

it doesn’t take this long for the water to get hot

unless

you poke your tongue into your cheek when something crosses your mind

taehyung must’ve used up all the hot water

your grip on the edge of the bathtub tightens until your knuckles turn white

okay!

no problem!

a cold shower will certainly wake you up for sure!!!!  

and you remember namjoon mentioning something about how cold showers help with your metabolism or something like that so maybe you should be thanking taehyung for using up all the hot water like a selfish pRICK-  

“no problem, we’re all good…” you mutter to yourself and pull the little knob on top of the tap so that the water will go to the showerhead-

you yELP when you’re suddenly blasted with icy cold water and you immediately wrap your arms around yourself in a pathetic attempt to keep yourself warm

oh my goD

o-o-o-okay this is going to be the f-f-fastest shower you’ve ever taken in your e-e-entire life because you’re pretty sure that if you spend another f-f-five minutes in here you’re going to get h-h-hypothermia

you shiver as you pick up the bottle of shampoo and-

oh you are k-k-k-kiDDING

you don’t have any shampOO LEFT

you bought this two weeks ago!!!!! how the hell did you use it all up???????

you clench your jaw when it hits you onCe again

k i m

t a e h y u n g

this shampoo is expensive too!!! it’s goat milk shampoo and it makes your hair smell suPer good and feel silky soft  

no wonder he smelled oddly familiar the other night

you jump when you hear knocking on the bathroom door

you push the curtain aside aggressively “what????”

“i need to take a piss!!!! hurry it up in there!!”

you resist the urge to huRL the empty shampoo bottle at the door

anyone who knows you knows that sundays have always been your favourite day of the week

sunday is the perfect day to just relax and unwind from the whole week aND saturday

plus you and namjoon sometimes go to brunch on sunday so that’s another reason why you look forward to sundays so much

you don’t have any plans today which means you have all the time in the world to just chill out and-

“oh. my. god.” your jaw drops in pure shOCK when you walk into the kitchen

it looks like a tornado blew through the kitchen while you were sleeping  

wh-

hoW did this happen????

the kitchen was completely spotless yesterday!!!!!!

you know that because you literally spent like 2 hours cleaning the kitchen last night!!!!!!!!

you were on your hands and knEES scrubbing at the kitchen tiles until each one of them were smooth and polished!!!!

but now??

the garbage bin isn’t closed all the way because it’s literally overflowing with traSH and there’s a banana peel hanging out over the edge

there’s a whole mouNTAIN of dirty dishes and mugs in the sink

you just stepped on a sticky spot and you don’t even want to know what dried up there

and the fridg-

the-

the frIDGE ISN’T CLOSED

you feel a shiver tingle up your spine at the thought of all of your food going to waste because of a warm fridge

you immediately rush over and open the fridge door all the way to see if-

“oh nOnOnOnonoooOooo-“ you reach forward to press the back of your knuckles against the carton of milk and curse to yourself when you realise that it’s literally room temperature

you don’t know how long the fridge has been opened but you know that it’s probably not safe to eat whatever’s in there

everything in the fridge is spoilt as far as you’re concerned

even your overpriced honey-cinnamon greek yogurt that you literally bought two days ago

you’re going to have to dump everything out

what a waste of money!!!!!! now you have to go grocery shopping today and replenish all the food!!!!!!

you should wake tae up and ask him to chip in for the grocery fees

“i can’t get over how comfortable that mattress is…” you turn to look when a sleepy taehyung steps into the kitchen

“what the hell happened??” you exasperate as you grab another garbage bag from the cupboards and shake it open “when i went to bed last night the kitchen was spotless because i cleaned it but i come in this morning and it looks like someone hosted like thrEE frat parties in here all at once-“

“y/l/n, cchhiiiilllll.” taehyung yawns and stretches his limbs out before reaching up to rub at his eyes “i just brought all my dishes and my trash to the kitchen a couple hours after you went to bed, it’s not a big deal.”

oh

okay

well

he’s right

it’s not a big deal

as long as he takes out the trash and washes his own dishes it’s not a big deal

“this is… it’s a lot of trash and a lot of dirty dishes…” you mutter as you take a look around

“it’s only like five days worth of trash and dishes - it’s not that much.” taehyung nudges you aside so that he can look into the fridge “…where’s all the food?”

“in the garbage bag.” you step aside to gesture to the veRy full garbage bag behind you “the fridge was open when i came down and everything in there was warm so i’m throwing everything out.”

“you’re- oh my goD you’re literally wasting so much money right now-“

“most of the things in there were mine anyways so it’s not that big-“

“you threw out that honey-cinnamon yogurt?? i was almost done eating that!!!” taehyung frowns and shoots a glare in your direction

your eyelid twitches

so

he’s been helping himself to your organic vegan yogurt hUH

and he was ‘almost done eating’ it??

you bought it tWo days ago and it’s a huge thing of yogurt which means he must’ve really reALLY been helping himself to it

“hey, so when are you going to go grocery shopping?” tae closes the fridge before nudging you aside again to get to the sink

and at first you think he’s going to get a head start on those dirty dishes but theN-

you feel a wire inside of your brain short circuit almost immEdiately when taehyung uses a wet paper towel to wipe the rim of a dirty cup before turning your coffee machine on and placing the dirty cup under the nozzles

you remind yourself to never accept a cup of coffee from him

it’s totally not a big deal

some people have certain quirks that you’ll never understand but that certainly doesn’t mean that they’re not nice and that you can’t get along with them

“well… i wasn’t going to go until thursday but considering the fact that the fridge is literally empty i guess i’m going today-“

“great, because i have a list of things that i’m gonna need you to pick up for me.” taehyung sighs and plucks an apple out from the fruit bowl

you furrow your brows immediately

“well, you could always come with me-“

“nah, i’m not good at it.” he takes a giAnt bite of his apple

“…you’re not good at- how can you not be good at grocery shopping-?“

“wait, does this mean you threw out the creamer, too?? now i have to drink black coffee?? dude, groSS” taehyung whines and wrinkles his nose at the fresh cup of coffee he just brewed for himself

“…just give me your stupid list.”

if you had a dollar for every time taehyung irritated you, you would honestly be a billionaire at this point

not even a billionaire

you would be a triLLionaire

“would it kill you to do the dishes sometime?” you wipe your damp hands down on the back of your leggings as you step out of the kitchen and into the living room

taehyung is currently lazing on the couch helping himself to a bag of chips while scrolling through his phone

“you know what, it actually would.” taehyung glances up at you “i’m like super duper 100% deathly allergic to dish soap. frankly, i’m offended you even asked.” he pops a chip into his mouth

crunch crunch crunch

you clench your jaw in frustration

for a second you can’t help but wonder what it’d feel like to drive your fist right into the middle of that pretty little face

“ooookay, if you can’t do the dishes, then you can help me take out the trash.”

taehyung sighs and shakes his head “no can do, buddy. i’m also allergic to garbage bags.”

woW what a friCKin coincidence

“…you can do the laundry!” you clap your hands together before placing them on your hips

your foot starts to tap against the floor impatiently when taehyung bring a chip to his mouth slowly and bites it in half

a couple crumbs fall onto his chest and he brushes them onto the floor

he clears his throat  

“detergent falls into the same category as dish soap-“  

“you know what? forget i asked! forget it!” you lauGh and raise your hands in defence before walking away “i give uP! i frickin GIVE UP-“

taehyung jumps when he hears your bedroom door slam shut

he shrugs and pops another chip into his mouth

unsurprisingly

namjoon, jin, and hobi aLL think that you’re not getting along with taehyung

and even though that is a very true statement

unsurprisingly

your natural instinct is to prove them wrong

“we’re getting along just fine, thank you very much for your concern.” you adjust your backpack strap before shaking your head “he’s actually super great, contrary to your guys’ belief. he’s a wonderful roommate! i love taehyung!”

the way you’re speaking almost sounds like you’re trying to convince yourSelf that you love taehyung

and you’ve never really been good at persuading people

namjoon can’t help but roll his eyes

you’re already very stubborn and he haTes dealing with you when you get like this

he doesn’t understand why you can’t just admit that taehyung is a horrible roommate!!!!

“i mean, sure, he’s a little messy, but who isn’t? it’s totally not a big-“

“hey, check it out!” namjoon interrupts your little speech about how amazing taehyung is as a roommate to point over by the vending machines “why don’t you go and say hi to your super duper wonderful angel of a roommate?”

you swallow thickly when you follow namjoon’s line of sight

yep

that’s taehyung alright

you’d recognise that beanie anywhere

frick

it looks like he’s with a group of his friends

you see him pull a plastic baggie of quarters out of his backpack

hey look at that!

that’s nice of him

he’s treating his friends to some snacks

…

wait a second

you feel one of your veins buST open when it hits you

is that.,,.,. is that the lauNDRY MONEY

he’s using the laundry money to pay for snacks and drinks???!??!

“you know, i don’t know if that’s a good idea!” you clear your throat when you feel the boys slowly nudging you towards his direction

hobi literally has his hands pushing against your lower back while namjoon has his fingers wrapped around your wrist

“he looks like he’s in the middle of a very riveting conversation and i wouldn’t want to-“

“kim TAEHYUNG-“ hobi screeches before plopping down on the bench and gesturing for namjoon and seokjin to duck down as well

you panic and you’re about to sit down too but it’s too late

taehyung turns around to understandably find whoever it was who just screamed out his name in the middle of the cafeteria and immediately locks gazes with you

oh god

okay just say hi

“hi taehyung!” you smile brightly and wave at him a liTtle too enthusiastically

jin immediately grabs your hand and pulls it down because your wrist is going to pop off if you wave any harder

now

a normal person would wave back when they’re being waved to

unfortunately for you taehyung is not a normal person

taehyung raises a brow before snorting gently and turning back to his group of friends “as i was saying…“

your jaw drops slightly

what the hell was that

namjoon kisses his teeth and shakes his head

he’s about to hit you with the faTTest ‘I Told You So’ of all time

“it’s a fun little game we play.” you sit down quickly and smooth out your skirt

you can feel your cheeks growing red at the complete mortification of the situation

“you guys wouldn’t understand.” you clear your throat and laugh lightly “he’s so silly!”

namjoon frowns and turns to look at taehyung over his shoulder for a second

you are one of the moSt important people in his life and he hates that you’re being treated like shit

“you still think we believe you when you tell us that you like him?” he sighs while wiping his apple on his shirt

“…just eat your lunch.”

okay

you’re starting to think that you’re incapable of noT thinking about taehyung

you don’t get it!!!

maybe it’s because you have this innate need to be liked and when you realised that taehyung might noT like you that much your brain was like well,.,,. now i’m going to keep thinking about why he doesn’t like us.,,.,.

even when you’re asleep it sounds like your brain won’t stop repeating the words ‘oh my god, taehyung, oh my god, taehyung-‘

“oh my god, tae, fuck yes-“

oh my god

your eyes pop wide open and you stare into the darkness

…

…

…

okay

maybe you just imagined it

that was just your imagination and it definitely wasn’t-

“yes, right there, fuck me with your huge-“

OH

OH NO

oH IT’S NOT YOUR IMAGINATION

THiS IS REAL

“oh god, yes, i’m cumming, you’re gonna make me- ah!”

you feel your entire face burning up as you try to suppress your own screams by flipping over and shoving your face into your pillow

this is a nightmare

a niGHTMARE

also this is a schOOL night so they have no business getting it on when all of you have classes tomorrow

and just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse

you hear the headboard beginning to smack against the wall and- “oh my god, tae-!”

and you nearly start crying

“oh my god, tae...” you whimper to yourself and feel a shiver go up your spine

bLEugh

you yank the covers up over your head and curl up into a ball

you didn’t even know he snuck a girl home!!!!

how did he do that so quietly!!!!!!

when you wake up the next morning you’re not sure if the entire night was some sort of weird fever dream or not

you finally fell asleep at like three in the morning because thaT’s when the screaming and the bed-rocking died down

and then you woke up early because you’re pretty sure taehyung woke his pal up with his head in between her legs (“tae, your tongue feels so-!“)

she’s very communicative which is key in a relationship so hopefully things work out between the two of them!!1!!

you blink down at your bowl of cereal and watch as the now-soggy cheerios float around your spoon

you.,,. don’t have an appetite this morning which is very rare because you’re aLways in the mood to eat

“hi! you must be tae’s roommate!” your spoon clatters against the side of your porcelain bowl when taehyung’s lady friend pops out of nowhere

jesus chRist

she was quiEt

she’s dressed in what appears to be one of taehyung’s tattered t-shirts (the same one he was wearing when he left the apartment yesterday morning) and you allow yourself to stare at the hickies decorating her neck and collarbone as she reaches up to pull the shirt up slightly

you’re tempted to offer her a pair of shorts or something because homegirl’s ass is fully out right now (she’s wearing a g-string which is basically noTHING)

“this is the part where you introduce yourself, y/l/n.” taehyung pops up behind her and raises a brow at you

oh

riGht

you reach up to wipe away the milk that’s driBBling down your chin and you reach out to shake her hand “hi! yes, i’m the roommate… i’m y/n.”

“i’m soo-young, but you can call me joy if you’d like…” she’s a little preoccupied because she keeps looking over your shoulder at tae who’s currently drinking out of the orange juice carton like an animal

joy, huh?

very fitting considering she was screaming of joy last night anD this morning

“well, it’s very nice to meet you, joy.” you push yourself up off the counter before spinning around and promptly grabbing the carton from taehyung’s grubby hands “can i offer you anything? we have cereal, instant oatmeal, frozen waffles and bagels…” you hum and pull a cup from the cupboards before pouring a glass of juice for tae

side note

if you ever need to make a little money in the future maybe you can open up some kind of bed and breakfast thing

taehyung can take care of the bed part and you can do the breakfast part lol

anyways back to it

you hand the clean glass to him with a little glare and he smirks before accepting it and taking a small sip

“of course, i’ll toast the bagel for you… unless you eat frozen bagels?” you joke and put the orange juice back into the fridge before standing back up and leaning against the fridge door “we have cream cheese, oR i make this really good cinnamon butter that i’d be happy to share with you”

joy’s eyes widen before she looks over at taehyung

“uh, i… actually, i was thinking that tae and i could go out for breakfast or somet-“

“i’m gonna go take a shower.” taehyung chirps and hands you the empty glass before moving to head out of the kitchen

“maybe we can take a shower together! save some water?” joy offers shyly and grabs onto taehyung’s wrist

oh

bless her heart

his eyes flicker down to where she’s gripping him and he shakes her off gently “um, we’re trying to conserve hot water so… maybe you should wait til you get back to your place. by the way - would you mind tossing the shirt into the hamper after you change? thanks, sweetheart.” he clicks his tongue and gives her a heaRTy pat on the shoulder  

you mouth a quiet ‘yikes’ to yourself when taehyung leaves the kitchen and joy looks like a puppy who’s just been kicked in the face

her entire face is red and she looks like she’s about to start crying

oof

it’s not greAT of taehyung to brush her off like that but according to your knowledge taehyung is a one night stand kind of guy so.,.,,

you really hope she doesn’t start crying because you never know how to comfort people and ur not about to start now

you clear your throat as joy looks down at the shirt she’s wearing and picks at a loose thread on it  “…how about i smear extra cream cheese on your bagel for you?”  

“bye! thanks for putting the shirt in the hamper…” you offer joy a sheepish smile and watch as she steps into the elevator before you close the front door

so

she didn’t want the bagel even after you toasted it anD put extra cream cheese on it

she definitely wasn’t as joyful as she was when she first came out of tae’s room reeKing of sex

...okay it was funny the first two times but now ur just beating a dead horse

you were about to offer her some clothes for her taxi ride back home because if you were in this situation you would rather be dressed in a hoodie and leggings instead of a tight mini-dress and six inch platform heels at 9 in the morning buT uh

that would give her an excuse to come back and you get the feeling that taehyung doesn’t want her to come back

“taehyung?” you give the bathroom door a couple knocks before taking a step back “i toasted a bagel for joy but she didn’t seem to have an appetite so do you want to split it-“

the bathroom door swiNGs open and you flinch slightly at the onslaught of heat and steam that comes out from it

and then time seems to slow down

taehyung steps out of the washroom with a towel hanging loosely around his hips and a smaller one hanging around his neck

h-holy.,,., holy shIT

smooth, glistening caramel skin with the warm bathroom lights illuminated behind him like a halo

droplets of water practically cascading down the ridges of his broad chest and the faint ridges of his abs and woW that’s a v-line for suRE

you swallow dryly and look up to see taehyung staring right back at you with the coCkiest of smirks on his face

oH

“oh, god, i’m sorry-“ you immediately spin around so that you’re facing the other way and you feel your face starting to heat up  

“it’s all good.” taehyung chuckles lightly “what were you saying about a bagel?”

“i, uh, i was wondering if you wanted to split a bagel because-” you turn to look at him over your shoulder and your eyes widen when you realise he’s standing a loT closer to you as he dries his hair “-b-because joy didn’t seem to want it-“

“yeah, i’m down. lemme put some sweatpants on and i’ll join you in the kitchen.” taehyung puRPosely brushes past you and you catch a whiff of his musky aftershave

you feel your knees grow weak when you see his back muscles flex slightly as he walks down the hall to his bedroom

“head’s up!” he turns around quickly and tosses the smaller towel at you and luCkily your reflexes are fast enough to catch it before it hits your face

you shake yourself out of it quiCkly and pat your hot cheeks

“…wait, are you putting a shirt on too or are you just coming in sweatpants-“

tae’s white towel fLIes out from his room before the door slams shut

“so… joy seems like a nice girl.” you drum your fingers against the side of your mug before taking a sip of coffee (it’s coLD now but you’ll drink it anyways)

“mm.” taehyung murmurs and takes another monster bite of his bagel

“are you… planning to call her or text her or-“

“nah.”

“you shouldn’t have let her weAr your clothes if you’re not going to call her again-“

“she put it on herself and she already knew this was going to be a one time thing” taehyung glances up at you from his phone before giving you an expression that screams ‘duH’ “plus, it’s none of your business.”

you scoff at taehyung and raise a brow “it becomes my business when the vigorous and veRY loud sex happens in my apartment and i’m going to be the one the landlord contacts when we get noise complaints.”

“it’s our apartment”

“my name is on the lease. it’s mine. you’re renting from me.”

taehyung pokes his tongue into his cheek before setting his phone down harshly “what do you want from me, huh? it’s not my fault she was so loud. i can’t help that i’m so good with my-“

“i want you to keep things respectful because you are noT the only occupant of this apartment. keep your sexcapades at a decEnt volume! gag your next friend for all i care!! i was going to sleep in but i had to get up early because someone was moaning up a storm-”

“again, not my fault- it seems to me that someone needs to get laid because you’re waY too uptight and it’s obvious you’re kind of a prude-“

uM

“i am noT a-“ you let out a breath of frustration before shaking your head and turning around “you know what, i’m going to go and get ready to head out!” the mug nearly shatters from the sheer force of you setting it down in the sink

you should’ve said yes to bukjoon

you should’ve!!!!!!

you let out a sigh as you stare blankly out the window

where is bukjoon?

what’s he doing now?

you miss him

you just let him sliP through your fingers

:-(

sure, you would have to had face the fiery wrath of namjoon but the guy’s about as intimidating as a baby penguin so that wouldn’t have been too hard to deal with

speaking of namjoon

you’re looking forward to the lunch that namjoon packed for you today!!  

you managed to calm yourself down a little after your chat with taehyung this morning and now all you can think about is how greAt today is going to be

your outfit is cute

your hair isn’t frizzy

your makeup looks nice and deWy just the way you like it

and one of your lectures got cancelled today so you get to come home a little earlier!

anyways

a classic namjoon lunch (specifically personalised and created for (1) y/n y/ln) includes the following items:

1x smooth peanut butter and strawberry jelly sandwich with no crust

he avoids chunky peanut butter because he knows that you have sensitive gums aND you don’t want peanut bits all up in your teeth after you’re done eating

he used to shape them like hearts but one time you opened your lunch box (yes, namjoon even got you a tin lunch box) in front of hoseok and jin and they immediately started teasing you and asking you what other shapes mama namjoon could do

namjoon wasn’t the least bit embarrassed because he loVes preparing lunch for you but you were traumatised and from that moment on you requested that namjoon simply slice off the crusts and leave it at that

1x baggie of baby carrots and baby cucumbers

1x little pot of hummus

1x homemade chocolate chip cookie that’s always the size of your palm never bigger never smaller

1x carton of either banana/chocolate milk oR apple/orange/pineapple-strawberry juice

you take the box out of the fridge and-

your brows immediately furrow

why,.,.

why does the box feel so light

you give it a little shake

it certainly doesn’t sound like there’s little baggie of baby carrots and cucumbers waiting for you to devour them

your heart sinks to your stomach and your eyes actually begin to water when you open up the box to see that all that’s in there are a couple empty plastic baggies and some breadcrumbs

you swallow thickly

“hey, when are you doing the laundry?” taehyung pops into the kitchen and perks up when he sees you with the lunch box “oh, the bagel wasn’t enough for me and i noticed that the food in that box was the only other decent thing to eat. if i didn’t eat that i would’ve starved to death. by the way, there was a note in the lunch box and it seemed like it was for you but honestly… who’s to say?” taehyung tosses a crumpled up note at you and you catch it before uncrumpling it and-

‘i know you asked for no more heart shaped sandwiches but i bought a new cookie cutter and i just had to use it. see you later today! -joon’

oh

oH

this son of a biTCH

“also, who has the time to shape sandwich bread into-“

“what do you mean ‘who’s to say’???? this was obVIOUSly for me!!!!” you feel your eyes glazing over even moRe purely out of frustration with taehyung and his eyes widen “i’m the only other person who lives in this apartment and if this lunch box doesn’t belong to you then obviously it’s meant for mE you IDIOT”

“jesus, y/l/n, calm down! it’s just food!!” taehyung furrows his brows before scoffing “here, i’ll give you $20 for lunch.” he rummages through his pockets and pulls out a couple of bills

you look at the bills before looking at him and shaking your head

“you’re a dick.” you sniffle as you dump the plastic baggies into the recycling bin

“…what, do you need more lunch money? how much do you eat??”

“that is not the point!”

“okay, $30 for lunch! god, take all my money, why don’t you??”

as time goes on you begin to realise that kim taehyung is truly an asshole

there’s no better word to describe him than an asshole

he’s an inconsiderate, arrogant, uncaring, selfish, complete asshole of a man and you don’t know what you did to deserve this

you really don’t!

he doesn’t care about you at all

in fact

he treats you as if you were his personal maid or something

you’re always picking up after him and you’re always cleaning up his messes anD you’re always escorting his lady friends out of the door the morning after with a to-go cup of coffee and half a bagel

you don’t havE to do all these things for him but you do!!!

you say you’re only continuing to do all these things for taehyung because you’re a nice roommate but according to namjoon you’re a-

“pushover. a complete pushover!” namjoon pauses to glance at you over his shoulder as you trail behind him and his book cart

he hands you a book and you slide it into place

“i am not a pushover!!”

he turns around with a thiCk dictionary in his hands and starts flipping through it

you scoff and place a hand on your hip as you watch him slide his finger down the page

“what are you doin-“

“pushover: noun.” he clears his throat and adjusts his glasses “an opponent who is easy to defeat or a victim who is capable of no effective resistance. someone unable to resist an attraction or appeal; a sucker.”

alright

you see what he’s doing here

you raise a brow and snort “can you use it in a sentence?”  

namjoon claps the dictionary shut before sliding it into the shelf

he leans against the cart and crosses his arms before reaching up to stroke his chin in mock thought

“ah! i’ve got it.” he smiles sweetly at you “y/n is a pushover when it comes to taehyung, and she’ll do anything for him with a snap of his fingers-“

“alRight alright i get it-“

“synonyms for pushover include but are not limited to the following: doormat, weakling, wimp-“

“fine! fine, i’m a little bit of a pushover. it’s not that bad!”  

namjoon turns around and starts wheeling his cart down to the next shelf “a little bit of a pushover? oh, please. what are you doing after you help me out here?”

“going grocery shopping.”

“uh-huh. and what’s on the top of your grocery list? check the list on your phone.”

“i don’t see how this is going to help prove your theory that i’m a pushover-“

“just do it.”

you pull your phone out of your pocket and open your notes app before tapping on the grocery list

the first thing you typed was-

“…’peanut butter cups for taehyung’.” you mutter lowly and scratch the back of your neck

oof

“yep. not honey-cinnamon yogurt, not bagels, not cinnamon toast crunch - peanut butter cups for taehyung. i said it before, and i’ll say it again - you, my friend, are one bIG pushover.”

“pushover. i am not a pushover.” you mutter to yourself as the elevator starts taking you up to your floor

you hug the bag of groceries to your chest tighter to keep it from slipping

“i’m just being a nice person! just because i do things for him whenever he asks me to do things doesn’t mean i’m a pushover. if anything, i’m a… i’m a pullunder! i’m a biG OL pullunder!!!”

ding

you step out of the elevator and make your way down the hallway to the apartment

whatever

you’re not a pushover no matter what namjoon says!!

even though the first thing you looked for was taehyung’s peanut butter cups the moment you stepped into the grocery store does noT mean that you are a pushover  

“hey they didn’t have the peanut butter cups that you like so much but i got these- oH GOD SORRY” you squeak and slam the front door and immediately feel a chunk of your soul leave your body

because you fully just walked in on tae really REALLy getting it on with someone on the couch

how does this keep haPPENING

why does he have to have so much sex!!!!!!!

you fluffed the pillows so nicely this morning

you’re not particularly sure what to do now

are you allowed to go in

are you supposed to wait out here until they’re done

maybe you can go down to the lobby and just wait there

you should probably send tae a text and tell him to just let you know when he’s done

oR maybe you should go in there and tell them to go to the beDroom and finish up because you were really wanting to vacuum the living room today

you jump in surprise when the door swings open violently to reveal a very frustrated looking tae along with a very half-naked tae

he has your throw blanket wrapped loosely around his waist and your cheeks immediately flush

he’s an asshole but it would be inhumane of you to noT check out the faint outline of his six pack

“ever heard of knocking?!” he snarls at you and anY physical attraction to him at this moment immediately fizzles away

you gawk at him

“knock- i live here-!”

you’re about to pick up the grocery bag and shoVe past him to get into the apartment when suddenly he steps aside to let his guest out

“call me later?” she gets up on her tip-toes to give tae a kiss on the cheek and he hums in response

why.., does she look so familiar

your brows knit together as you diG through your brain

omg

what the

you immediately pale when it hits you

rose???????? sweet little rose??? from your history class????? the one with the colour-coded notes and the glittery pens????? sweet little rose from your history class the one with the colour-coded notes and the glittery pens bent over the arm of the couch while tae dRILLS-

“bye y/n! see you monday” rose smiles sweetly at you and muster a smile before stepping aside so that she can make her way to the elevators

you wait for the faint ding of the lifts before you open your mouth to speak but tae beats you to the chase

“i was going to get at least three more orgasms out of her but someone had to come home and ruin the fun” taehyung sighs as he turns to head back in the apartment

“well i’m sorry i live here” you grumble and bend down to pick up the groceries “and three orgasms sounds positively draining”

“of course you would say that, you prude” taehyung tosses the pillows back on the couch

you huff and resist the urge to drop the groceries just so you can kick his ass

“you wanna help me put the groceries in the fridge?” you grunt and kick the door shut behind you

“nah, you can handle it”

“..,.oh, okay! uh, as i was saying, i didn’t find the peanut butter cups that you like so much but i did find these-”

“leave them in my room. i’m gonna take a shower!” tae chirps and slams his bathroom door shut

he opens it up again and pokes his head through “by the way - i’m having a couple people over tonight so it’d be suuuuPer cool if you could like.,.., not be here when that happens.”

“what about if i just stay in my room-“

“thanks, roomie!”

slam

you let out a breath as you stare at the bathroom door before shaking your head disappointedly

how did you get stuck with a prick like that

what did you do in your past life to deserve this?????

you turn to inspect the dishevelled state of the couch

you are going to have to disinfect the entire couch

maybe burn it

maybe just buy a new couch???

you honestly don’t even know how one person can have so much sex with so many different people

you’re all for having a healthy sex life and you fully support someone having multiple sex partners if you’re that kind of person but this is ridiculous

you can’t help but wonder if tae’s had sex on every surface in the apartment

…that explains the handprints on the balcony doors  

“i hate him! he’s driving me crazy and i have to live with him for the next year.” you groan quietly and pinch the bridge of your nose

“so just drive hiM crazy right back”

“how am i supposed to do that?”

“what does he hate the most?”

you purse your lips in thought and make a face

“…not getting laid every weekend?”

namjoon pauses and gives a little shrug

“touché - but, no. he hates you the most. at least, it seems like he hates you the most.”

“gee, thanks-“

“i’m serious! from what i’ve heard - and what i’ve seen - you guys boTh despise each other, so just hang around him 24/7 and you’ll drive hiM equally as crazy!”

“aren’t you the one telling me not to fight fire with fire whenever i get into sticky situations?”

“this is a special situation.” namjoon clears his throat and adjusts his glasses “didn’t you say he was throwing a party?”

“he’s not throwing a party, he’s just hanging out with his friends and they’re all chilling at the apartment. that’s why i’m hanging out with you at the library instead of being in the comfort of my own apartment.” you snort

“oh my god, you dumbass. ‘having a few people over’ almost always translates to ‘i’m throwing a party’. even i know that!” namjoon scowls and reaches over to flick your forehead

you scowl and reach up to rub at the sore spot “taehyung wouldn’t throw a party without consulting me about it first” you huff stubbornly and lean back against the wheely chair

“wow. the midterm exams really made your brain cells disintegrate, didn’t they? you don’t think there’s an inkling of a chance that as you’re sitting here with me, kim taehyung isn’t taking advantage of the fact that he has a very spacey apartment all to himself?”

“you know what, namjoon? i really don’t think so. i think you’re just making an assumption based off perceptions of-“

“there might be people bumping uglies on your bed right now.”  

you immediately pale

“…yeah, so i’ll see you later!” you squeak and bend down to grab your bag

“yep, that’s what i thought.” namjoon snorts and watches as you make a mad dash out of the doors

taehyung is typically a very carefree guy when it comes to throwing parties

he kind of just goes with the flow and doesn’t let anyone harsh his mellow

he doesn’t care if people have sex in his room as long as they keep it clean and fasT and they don’t do it on his bed

he doesn’t care if the cops come and tell him to keep the noise levels down because he knows he has the ability to charm his way out of a charge

but one thing that he definitely cares about?

there’s no way in hell he’s going to let you ruin his party

so imagine his surprise when he walks out from the kitchen to see you asking people to ‘please use the coasters that i’ve provided for you!’

“what the hell are you doing here???” taehyung hisses and grabs you by the arm before pulling you out of the apartment and into the hallway

“what does it look like i’m doing? i’m joining the party!” you grin before pointing to the door “it seems like everyone’s having fun in there!! also, it looks like there are at least twenty people in our apartment and i only have enough juice boxes in the fridge for like six people, which is unfortunate. anyways-“ you’re about to step into the apartment but taehyung reaches out and wraps his fingers around your wrist to hold you back

“you have to leave. i thought you were hanging out with..,,. what’s his name.,., four-eyes tonight?”

“who? namjoon?”

“yeah, four-eyes.”

“namjoon was busy tonight and i didn’t have any work to do so i figured i’d stop by at the obvious party that’s happening in my apartment. what happened to ‘having a couple of friends over’?”

“our apartment.” taehyung corrects you and pulls you back again when you make a move to walk in again

“debatable statement.”

“look, just go and hang out with your friends, alright?” he exasperates “come back in a couple of hours.”

“no!” you frown and let out a huff

“get ouT of here!” he points towards the elevators

“no!!! do you not want me here? is that it??”

taehyung clamps his mouth shut before pursing his lips

you immediately gawk at him

why doesn’t he want you at his party??? you’re not thAt lame

you’re super fun at parties!!!

sure your dance moves aren’t that impressive but you can get jiggy widdit once you get a couple drinks in your system

“why not!!! that’s totally unfair!!!”

you’re aware that you’re acting like a petulant child right now but it’s not fAIR that taehyung doesn’t want you at his party with his friends

you don’t care if he’s ashamed of you even though that’s what it feels like and you can’t help but feel sliGhtly offended

you just want to make sure nobody breaks anything or sets anything on fire

anD you want to make sure that, as namjoon so delicately put it, nobody’s bumping uglies on your bed  

“fine!” taehyung grumbles and gestures towards the door

it seems like you’re not going to take no for an answer so he’ll just have to deal with you staying at the party “you wanna hang out at my party? be my guest. but don’t come running to me like a scared little deer when you realise that you don’t fit in when it comes to these social situations.”

“oh, please.” you snort and push the door open

almost immediately you feel the bass from the music pumping through your veins “i’m going to fit right in with your gang of- hEY feET oFF the coffee table-!“

taehyung lets out a breath and sends out a quick prayer hoPing you won’t be the cause of the death of his party and his social life in general

so

you’ve been to a couple of house parties before with namjoon and hobi and jin

usually you just hang out in the corner of the room with some unidentifiable drink in your hand while you scroll through your phone while hobi and jin are debating over something dumb like ‘do pigeons truly have feelings?’

this is a brand new situation for you

you’ve never been alone at a party

you’re almost always glued to namjoon’s side and you just have to give him a tug on the wrist to let him know you’re ready to get the heCk out of here

and as much as you want to leave you can’T because you made a big deal out of taehyung not wanting you at the party so if you leave now it’s just not going to look good for you

and you don’t know why but it feels like the number of people have increased tenfold because it feels like you’re in a can of sardines right now

of course

you want to prove to taehyung that you can be super cool so you’ve tried to be a little more lax with everyone

but that hasn’t stopped you from scolding somebody who was very happily helping them-self to the peanut butter chocolate ice cream in the freezer

also

you don’t know how you slipped into a party straight out of those cheesy high school movies but here u are

playing seven minutes in heaven

to say the least

you’re.,,. uncomfortable

you didn’t even play this game in high school for crying out loud

also it’s not the 70s anymore why would anyone still be interested in playing seven minutes in heaven

you inspect your nails uninterestedly as taehyung digs his hand through the bowl of names

he had everyone write their names down and put them in the bowl and he foRced you to come play because when he found you you were lecturing somebody on the consequences of mixing alcohol and weed (“do you know how quickly you can become dehydrated with this combination???”)

taehyung feels a sense of relief when he pulls out the slip of paper with your name scribbled down on it

thank god

if he can’t get rid of you for the whole night at least he can get rid of you for seven minutes

“y/n! you’re up.” he smiles brightly when he sees the sheer look of panic wash over your face

good >:-)

taehyung falters when he unfolds the next slip of paper to see that it’s,.,.,. his name that’s scribbled on it

ew!!!!

he doesn’t want to play seven minutes in heaven with u

no offence

“hey, look at that! jungkook, you’re y/n’s partner!” taehyung cheers and shoves the slip of paper back into the bowl

jungkook nods before getting up off the ground and you immediately curse to yourself

it’s not that you don’t want to be paired up with jungkook

it’s just that he’s so intimidatingly preTTy and you get very nervous around pretty people

first impressions are important and you get the feeling that you’re going to find a way to make a fool out of yourself as per usuAL

you don’t know the guy at all

you’ve seen him a couple times around campus throwing a frisbee around with his pals

one time you saw him in line at starbucks but other than that

absolutely nothing

of course you don’t have any time to panic and ask if it’s too late to back out because the next thing you know the two of you get ushered towards the front door before getting shoved riGht into the closet

it looks like taehyung cleaned out the closet specifically for this game

you’ll have to ask him later where he shoved everything

you clear your throat and look up at the flickering light in the closet before looking over at jungkook who is aLso avoiding your gaze

“i’m y/n, by the way.”

wait

taehyung already told him that

oof

this is already going downhill and it’s barely been ten seconds

“i’m jungkook.” he smiles politely and sticks his hand out awkwardly for you to shake

it’s awfully cozy in here

he’s about the length of your elbow to the tip of your middle finger away from you which seemS like an appropriate distance away but when ur shoved into a tiny closet it’s very, very close

“you’re taehyung’s roommate, right?”

“yep! and you’re taehyung’s… friend?”

“eh, i guess so. we’re just part of the same fraternity but i don’t actually know him too well.” jungkook shrugs “we lived together last year but i kinda kept to myself.”

“oh yeah! i remember him mentioning something about living with like four other guys…”

“it gets messy” he laughs lightly “do you get along with him?”

“well, we have our good days, i suppose. he uses my shampoo-“

“no way, he used to use my shampoo too!!!!”

you immediately snort and roll your eyes playfully “i just don’t get why he can’t go out and get his own damn bottle!”

“exactly!!!!!” jungkook gasps in exciTement because he’s finally being given a chance to rant about taehyung

he accidentally raMs his elbow into the wall and lets out a groan before crumpling over

oh oUCH

“are you okay????” you immediately burst into giggles and reach over to give the top of his head a gentle pat

“whyYyYY are you laughing at me??” he whines and rubs at his sore elbow

it’s weird

you thought jungkook was just a carbon copy of taehyung

and for the first time ever

you’re pretty happy that you were mistaken

seven minutes goes by fAr too quickly for your liking because the next thing you know taehyung’s banging on the closet door and telling you guys to ‘get your asses out here’

“i’m sorry about... you know, not actually following the rules of seven minutes in heaven” you smile sheepishly and scratch the back of your neck

“technically, the players get to spent seven minutes doing whatever they want with each other and i just wanted to get to know you a little better, so i think we played the game right.” jungkook teases lightly

he reaches out for the doorknob but pauses and turns to look at you again “by the way, i… would you maybe want to hang out sometime? grab some coffee or something?”

your brows raise in surprise

oh

your cheeks warm immediately and you let out a soft chuckle “i, uh, yeah! i would love to grab some coffee with you sometime. maybe after we get out of this closet i can give you my number?”

jungkook beams at you and nods happily “yeah, that’d be-“

all of a sudden the closet door swings open and you instinctively take a step away from jungkook when you see taehyung standing there looking less than happy

“the game is called seven minutes in heaven, not teN minutes in heaven.” he steps aside to let the two of you out and you can’t help but roll your eyes

for someone who accused you of being a buzzkill muLtiple times he’s certainly doing a good job at being one right now

taehyung can’t help but narrow his eyes a little when he notices you and jungkook exchanging shy glances as you guys sit back down in the circle

...hm

“i’m baaaack!” your keys jingle as you shove them back into your backpack

you’re genuinely surprised that you didn’t walk in on tae fucking the lights out of someone on the couch

you were expecting to see a pair of someone’s boobs or a flash of his dick but it’s a pleasant feeling to be able to walk into your own apartment and not want to completely bleach your eyeballs

“you would not believe how packed the bus was because it’s tuesday and you wouldn’t think that the bus would be super jammed on a tuesday night but obviously-“

“i’m going to need you to shut up before i throw my books at you” taehyung raises his pencil in your direction but keeps his eyes glued on his laptop

he’s sitting crosslegged on the ground and he’s surrounded by loose papers and open books

his laptop is on the coffee table and it looks like he had a whole bag of m&ms for dinner which cannOT be good for you

he has the tv turned on but the volume’s really low

“wow, alright mr. grumpy…” you raise your hands in defence before bending down to untie your laces “what are you doing?”

“none of your business.” taehyung mutters in response and lets out a huff of frustration

side note

you’ve never seen him wear these rectangular framed glasses before

his hair is frizzy and slightly damp from a shower most likely

he’s in a white and blue stripey pyjama set

you’ve never seen him look so.,,.., dare you say it,.,,.. so boyfriend material-y before

so warm n snuggly n cozy

it really sucks

the fact that he looks like that and then once he opens his mouth all the attraction just fadEs away in a millisecond

god really has it out for you doesn’t He

“fine, sorry i asked…” you can’t help but feel a little dejected every time taehyung shuts you down like that

you’re just being a nice person!!

taehyung falters and pokes his tongue into his cheek when he glances at you and sees you hanging your jacket up on the coat rack quietly

ur just minding your own business

,.,.ok he feels a little bad for being rude to u all the time

he doesn’t know why he’s so mean to you

you guys have been roommates for a couple of months already and every time he’s mean to you you never fight back

in fact you usually just flash him a smile and then wander off and leave him alone

“i’m just…” taehyung sighs and leans back against the bottom of the couch “i’m taking this dumb art history class and i have a presentation in a couple of days that’s worth 25% of my final grade that i haven’t worked on yet.”

you narrow your eyes at him “that… i can’t feel bad for you because you did that to yourself. you should’ve started earlier!”

jesuS

okay now he knows why he’s so mean to you all the time

it’s because you’re a bratty little know-it-all

taehyung shoots a glare in your direction and you shrug

well it’s truE

“would it kill you to stop being such a smartass all the time? you always think that you’re right and that everyone else is wrong-”

“because most of the time i am right and everyone else is wrong.”

“jesus- you know what, whatever. just leave me alone, y/l/n.” taehyung grumbles and brings his attention back to his laptop

“what are you doing?” taehyung furrows his brows in confusion when you suddenly plop yourself down across from him and pull your laptop out of your backpack

“i’m going to help you, that’s what i’m doing.”

“do you even know anything about mesopotamian art?”

“nope” you pop the ‘p’ before raising a brow “but i’m going to research the heCk out of it and we’re going to make a bombass presentation and you, good sir, are going to ace it.”

“i don’t get it. why are you helping me?” taehyung narrows his eyes at you and you give him a warm smile in response

“because this is me being nice. don’t question it. now share your google presentation with me!”

believe it or not

you actually think that making presentations are pretty fun

you get to choose the pretty fonts and the colourful backgrounds and if you’re really wanting to spice things up you can always add in those funky transitions

of course taehyung has a certain minimalistic aesthetic to his slides so it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to infect it with your multicoloured block letters

the two of you have been working for about an hour and a half and you have to say it’s been a pretty productive hour and a half

taehyung said that his presentation has to be 10 minutes long which really isn’t thaT long if you think about it but the difficult part about it is that you have to jam as mUch relevant information as possible into it

thankfully he already did some research so you guys didn’t have to start completely from scratch

of course you chipped in and did some research on your own as well that you thought would contribute greatly to the overall quality of his presentation

but picking and choosing what to cut out and what to put in is surprisingly taking a lot more time than you thought it would

it’s been relatively silent

all that can be heard is the tv is playing softly in the background along with your guys’ fingers on tapping away at the keyboard and the occasional flip of a page or scribble of a pencil

your eyes flicker over to taehyung over the top of your laptop

he has his necklace trapped in between his teeth as his fingers fly across the keyboard

there’s a divot in between his brows and for a brief second you can’t help but think that his concentrating face is actually pretty cute

wait wat

u didn’t say that

taehyung glances up at you and you quickly look back down at your laptop screen

a soft smile twitches at the corner of his mouth

you’re cute when you’re not running your mouth and constantly telling him what to do  

you took a quick break earlier to change out of your clothes so now you’re in a pair of shorts and a comfy looking sweatshirt

also you had to pull out your reading glasses because it felt like your contacts were starting to dry out anD your eyes were starting to get fuzzy from staring at the screen for so long

and taehyung didn’t think he had a thing for girls with glasses but.,,.,. he might have a thing for girls with glasses

wait wat

he didn’t say that

you’re chewing on the back of your pen as you scroll through an article when all of a sudden your tummy lets out a little grumble

it makes sense considering the fact you haven’t eaten in like nine hours

“i’m going to order some takeout for us because a bag of m&ms does not equate a proper meal” you get up off the ground and stretch your sore limbs out before heading towards the kitchen

taehyung glances up at you briefly (your butt looks cute in those shorts) before shaking his head “nah, i’m good. you can go ahead and order-“

“orange chicken, broccoli beef and vegetable chow mein without celery and with extra bell peppers, right?” you poke your head out from the kitchen with your phone sandwiched in between your ear and your shoulder

“wha- um, yeah. how did you know-“

“great! also, could i get an extra order of egg rolls-“

huh

you know his order by heart which is funny because he happens to know that your usual order is sweet and sour pork, honey-walnut shrimp, and fried rice with extra green onions

wait what

taehyung brows knit together in confusion

how’d he know that

what the heCk

from: jungkook - ok what about this one: if i could rearrange the alphabet i’d put ‘u’ and ‘i’ together

to: jungkook - bOo i give that one 2/10 points

from: jungkook - your standards are too high, woman!!!!!! what are u doing now?

to: jungkook - eating dinner. guess what’s on the menu?

from: jungkook - what’s on the menu

to: jungkook - me-n-u

from: jungkook - omg ur so lame u literally just stoLE my pickup line i’m giving you -2/10 points

you giggle softly as you type in your response

you and jungkook have been texting back and forth since taehyung’s party a couple of weeks ago

he’s super sweet anD super funny and he just has that boyish charm about him that makes you squeAL if you think about it for too long

all you know is that ur kinda sorta maybe wrapped around his pinky and you’ve only gone out for coffee with him once

he pulled your chair out for you!!! you guys split a slice of carrot cake!!! he even feD you a bite!!!! and after coffee you guys just wandered around campus and it was just super nice talking to him!!! he draped his jacket around your shoulders to keep you warm!!! you like him a lot and he makes your heart go boom-boom!!!

“hey - for one of your pieces of shrimp, i bet you that i can catapult one of my pieces of chicken right into your mouth.” you look up from your phone to see taehyung grinning at you

he wiggles his brows and you look down at your little dish of shrimp

you guys are taking a dinner break and you thought the entire dinner would go by with nO words being exchanged between you two but this is a good sign because taehyung initiated a conversation

you should take advantage of this!!! this is your winDow of oppoRtunity!!!!!

you set your phone down and raise a brow “you drive a hard bargain, kim.” you sit back a little and open your mouth expectantly and tae rubs his hands together excitedly  

he places a piece of chicken on the spoon and clears his throat

and…

he pokes his tongue out in concentration and flicks his wrist forward quickly

your eyes widen in excitement when it actually lands in your mouth and you make sure to chew and swallow before sticking your arms up in the air in viCtory “it worKed!!!!! i guess that means you get one of my shrimps - which i will aLso be catapulting into your mouth”

you place the overly saucy piece of shrimp on your spoon before quickly flicking it anD-

“oh shiT” you laugh when it hits tae’s forehead before plopping down onto the table

“you did that on purpose!” he groans playfully and reaches up to wipe the sauce off his forehead with a napkin

“i did not!!! i just have terrible aim!!!”

taehyung pops the shrimp into his mouth and hums happily

this is definitely a muCh better dinner than a bag of m&ms

“aw, they only gave us one fortune cookie!” you push your bottom lip out in a pout as you rummage through the plastic bag in hopes of finding another fortune cookie “it looks like we’re going to have to split this one…”

you unwrap the cookie before holding it out for tae

he grips the other side and-

snap

the fortune is stuck in taehyung’s portion of the cookie and his eyes lighT up in excitement

“it’s probably going to say something stupid like how you have to look inside yourself to find the true meaning of life” he snorts and pulls the slip of paper out

“either that or something like ‘you’re going to die in 24 hours’” you raise a brow and inspect your half of the cookie before popping it into your mouth

oW

that cut into your gums a little bit

:-(

tae unfolds it and gives it a quick read

‘☺ the love of your life is right in front of your eyes ☺’

his dark brows knit together once he reads it and his eyes slowly trail up from the slip of paper to right across from him to where you’re sitting

oh boy

“well?” you swallow your bite and reach up to wipe your mouth with the back of your hand “what does it say?”

tae doesn’t know why he’s nervous to tell you what it says

his eyes widen in panic when you reach out to take it from him and he quickly smacks your hand away

“ow!!!!” you scowl and cradle your hand “what was that for??”

“it’s my fortune!! if you read it… it won’t come true!!”

“that’s literally not how it works-“

“dinner break is over! let’s get back to work” tae tucks the fortune into his breast pocket before popping the cookie into his mouth and dusting his hands off

“fine, you weirdo.” you roll your eyes playfully as you start cleaning up the empty takeout boxes

‘the love of your life is right in front of your eyes’

he watches as you hum to yourself and tie the straps of the flimsy plastic bag together before getting up to toss it away

tae snorts quietly and shakes his head

love of my life my aSS

it’s not a big deal

fortune cookies are stupid anyways

“-and with that being said, it is clear that the geographic division of the area is reflected in the history of its cultural development from the earliest civilisations.” you mouth the words along with tae as he finishes up his presentation

you immediately start applauding after his concluding statement and tae smiles brightly

“yes!!!!! that was so good!!!” you laugh lightly when tae bows and blows kisses into the audience (aka just you)

you let out a yawn before reaching up to rub at your bleary eyes “now that we’re done with your presentation we should probably get some shut-eye.” you let out anoTher yawn as you check the time on your laptop

jeez louiSe

it’s 5:14am

the two of you have to get up at 8 and you’re definitely not looking forward to that

“goodnight, tae!” you turn to glance at tae over your shoulder as you step out of the washroom

the two of you decided to do your nighttime routine together just to save some time

you pause when you get to your bedroom and furrow your brows “or… good morning? good-might? goodnighting?”

“you’re delirious. go to bed.” tae snorts and waves you off as he turns off the bathroom light “thanks again, y/n”

“anytime, tae”

your door closes and the light flickers off

taehyung stares at your bedroom door for a couple for seconds

“you’re not so bad, y/l/n.” he mutters to himself with a smile before walking into his bedroom and closing the door “you’re not bad at all.”

oooOOh boy

you’ve never felt so drained in your entire life

you let out a yawn as you make your way to the kitchen before rubbing at your sore jaw with a scowl

that was a big yawn and you were [this] close to getting lockjaw

you hit your snooze button a couple of times this morning  

you’re exhAusted from staying up all night helping tae with his presentation but you need to get some food in your system before you head out for the day

your nose twitches when you smell,,…,. burning.,.,,. why,,.., why do you smell burning.,,..,

your heart immediately starts to race as you quicken your pace

did you leave something in the oven last night??

impossible

you didn’t usE the oven last night

maybe taehyung left something on???

jEsus of course he left something on

he’s going to set this place on fire and-

“hey, i was wondering when you were going to get up! you’re usually halfway through a bowl of cereal by this time.”

needless to say

you are nothing short of shOCKed when you see tae with a tea towel slung over his shoulder padding around the kitchen as if this was a normal thing for him

what is going on

he pulls a stool out for you and nudges you over so that you take a seat

oh god

is this what a stroke feels like?

are you.,., literally having a stroke right now?

“sorry about the burning smell. i guess the crumbs in the toaster were starting to clog up the thing so when i popped your bagel into it and turned it on all the crumbs starting getting burnt… but your bagel made it out alive!” taehyung smiles and sets your bagel down in front of you

one side is smeared with cream cheese and the other is smeared with your homemade cinnamon butter

just the way you like it

huh

“coffee?”

“what?” you blink owlishly at taehyung and he raises the coffee pot in his hand

“…coffee? one cream two sugars, right?”

“right, yeah. uh, yes please. thank you.” you smile meekly and taehyung nods before pouring some coffee into your mug

you lean over a little to glance at the sink

all the dishes are drying on the drying rack

there are no dirty dishes in the sink

the counters are spotless and polished

and you’re pretty sure you can smell some floral air freshener in here

what

is

going

ON

“here you go-“ taehyung hands you your mug before pointing to the fridge “also, i, um, packed lunch for you today-“

oH

you figured it out

you know why he’s being so nice to you

you’re a genius!!!!

“-to make up for that one time i ate it and you almost cried over it-“

“what did you break?” you interrupt taehyung and he raises a brow at your accusatory tone

“what are you talking about?”

“what… did you break? did you damage something? is that why you’re being so nice? so that later on when you tell me you like kicked a hole through your wall or something i won’t be able to get mad at you because you made breakfast for me anD packed lunch for me…”

“i didn’t break anything, y/n. calm down.” taehyung snorts and shakes his head as he takes a bite of his own bagel

he swallows his bite

“i just wanted to say thank you for helping me yesterday.” he shrugs and walks over to take a seat on the stool next to you

you swiVel around so that you can face him

taehyung does the same

since you two are sitting so close together that means his knee is sandwiched in between yours

“you wanted to thank me… that’s it?”

“mhm”

“there’s no ulterior motive?”

he purses his lips and shakes his head “not that i can think of.”

“…so you’re not going to throw some sneaky party or anything-“

“y/n, this is me trying to be nice. don’t question it.” taehyung reaches over to pinch your cheek before giving your knee a gentle pat “now, c’mon! eat up!”

tae knew that the presentation was coming up soon

but now that he’s literally about to present it he feels like time went by waY too quickly

he doesn’t know if he’s been so nervous in his entire life

he knows it’s just a 10 minute presentation but he hates, absolutely dreAds giving presentations

especially solo presentations!!! in front of like 200+ people!!!!!

goD

he needs to stress-chew on some gum

nothing like good ol strawberry flavoured gum to calm his nerves

he unzips his backpack and shoves his arm into it

his brows knit together in confusion when his fingers brush over a foreign object in his backpack

he pulls out what appears to be a little stack of flashcards held together with a ribbon

there’s a little sticky note on the top of the stack and tae flips it upside right to read it

tae: these might come in handy! good luck today - i know you can do it. - y/n ☺

oh

you made presentation flashcards for him

when did you even put these in his bag?

when did you find time to make these for him??

taehyung pulls the ribbon off and flicks through the flashcards briefly

wow

you wrote down every single one of the important points down on the cards

you really did that for him

wow

“kim taehyung?”

taehyung swallows thickly when he hears his name being called

he clears his throat after making his way to the front of the room

his lips pull up into a friendly smile and he stares into the ocean of people “today, i’m going to be talking about the history of mesopotamian art in relation to its cultural development…”

it’s weird

the one thing calming him down isn’t the strawberry gum

it’s the thought of you

so

the presentation is actually going fairly well

tae nearly dropped his flashcards at one point but thank god he didn’t because that would have been a nightmare to have to reorganise

but yes

so far so good

he’s actually about to wrap up the presentation which is giving him a great sense of relief because he’s pretty sure he’s going to have a nervous breakdown if he stands up here for any longer than 10 minutes

“-and with that being said-“ taehyung freezes when he suddenly sees you sitting all the way in the back of the lecture hall

what the heck

what are you doing here?

he haTes that he feels his heart skip a beat when you give him a little wave and a thumbs up

he clears his throat and offers the prof a sheepish smile before continuing on and tapping his spacebar to get to the final slide “-uh, it is clear that the geographic division of the area is reflected in the history of its cultural development from the earliest civilisations. thank you.”

he lets out a breath of relief when the audience breaks into scattered applause

and unsurprisingly you stand up and bounce up and down excitedly aND clap the moSt enthusiastically before giving a little ‘woohoo!!!!!’

god

you are such a dork

…he loves it

the first thing taehyung sees when he leaves the lecture hall is your smiling face

he’s about to ask you what the heCk you’re doing here but he doesn’t get a chance to because-

“hey, you! you did so well!!!!” you squeal excitedly and pull tae down for a quick congratulatory hug

his eyes widen in surprise but he finds himself hugging you back almost instinctively

he wraps an arm around your waist tightly and can’t help but wonder why his first instinct isn’T to shove you away and tell you to cut it out

“i… literally couldn’t have done it without you but- what are you even doing here? don’t you have class right now?”

“i would not miss your mesopotamian art history presentation for the world, my friend. of course i had to come and support you!” you give his arm a playful punch before checking the time on your watch “i actually have… three minutes to get to my next class so i have to go but i’ll see you at home?”

“yeah, yeah. i’ll… see you at home.”

taehyung smiles softly when he sees your backpack bouncing up and down from your frantic movements as you scurry towards the exit

that was really nice of you actually

you didn’t have to come and watch him do his presentation but you did

yeah

that was very nice of you

he blinks twice

son of a bitch

it’s not.,.. possible

taehyung stares blankly ahead before furrowing his brows and reaching up to scratch the back of his neck

there’s no way he’s harbouring feelings for you

gross!!!!!!

you’re y/n!!!!

you’re his dorKy ass roommate who he would never hang out with if it weren’t for the fact that you guys lived together

you’re y/n

you’re y/n who snorts when you laugh too hard at one of his jokes

you’re y/n whose idea of fun is watching a nature documentary about dolphins or sitting on the couch doing crossword puzzles

you’re y/n who’s always asking him if he wants a snack or one of your juice boxes or if he needs any help with his work

you’re y/n who uses a wooden spoon as a guitar as you bounce around the kitchen jamming out suPer hard while making dinner (he’s never going to let you live that one down)

you’re y/n who stayed up til 5 in the morning helping him with his presentation even thought you literally didn’t need to do that

you’re y/n and taehyung is 99.9% sure that he likes you much more than a roommate or a friend should

he swallows thickly

o god

he likes you

“…seriously?!” taehyung groans loudly and smiles sheepishly when the people around him give him weird looks

oops

and so

as seconds turn into minutes and minutes turn into hours and hours turn into days and days turn into weeks

you find that you become a lot closer to tae than you thought was possible

it turns out that when he’s not being a complete dick he’s actually a very sweet and caring guy

he always holds the door open for you when you guys come home together (his classes end earlier than yours so he just waits til you get off class so you guys can catch the bus together)

he’s always offering to make you a cup of coffee or a little fruit salad whenever you’re busy studying because he knows you get peckish when you’re working hard

not to mention

you can’t remember the last time you had to toast an extra bagel for one of his special friends

you can’t remember the last time you nagged him to take the trash out or wash the dishes or do the laundry

you can’t remember the last time he did something that irritated the heck out of you

most of the things that he does nowadays make you smile and laugh and just feel all waRm and cozy inside

see?

it just took a little bit of time but you knew that eventuaLLy you guys would get along

you truly are living your best life

taehyung doesn’t know how you managed to convince him to watch another one of your dumb nature documentaries (it miGht have something to do with the fact that he definitely has a super big crush on you) but to be honest it’s really not as boring as he thought it would be

“wait, i don’t get it.” tae shakes his head before glancing at you for a brief second “seahorses are monogamous? are there seahorse weddings?? can seahorses get married????”  

“mm, yeah” you hum absentmindedly before popping a kernel of popcorn into your mouth

“for real???”

you reach over to pat tae’s hand gently as a gentle reminder to shut the fuck up or i’ll cut u and it looks like you’re waY too wrapped up in the nature doc because you don’t pull your hand away

“seahorses mate for life, and when they travel, they hold each others’ tails…” tae’s eyes flicker down to your hand resting on top of his and he lets out a little sigh

he kind of wants to ʰᵒˡᵈ ʸᵒᵘʳ ʰᵃⁿᵈ

he turns to look at you again and feels his heart skip a beat

you’re not even doing anything but you’re still so cute

he honestly doesn’t know what he’s going to do because this is truly the first time he’s ever felt this way towards someone BUT mushy feelings are suPer duper lame so there’s that

he turns to look back at the tv

“do you think i would win in a fight against a beaver? i think i could take a beaver any day.” tae mutters through a mouthful of popcorn

he keeps his eyes glued on the screen but nudges your side with his elbow “hey, i asked you a question-“ all of a sudden you’re slumping over and your head drops onto his shoulder

he freezes almost immediately and turns slowly to look down at you

huh

you fell asleep

what time is it?

you guys have watched like four episodes of this docuseries so he can assume that it’s already pretty late

he puts the bowl of popcorn down before glancing around for his phone

he curses quietly when he sees that it’s on the coffee table but it’s just out of reach

you know when your dog or cat falls asleep on your lap

taehyung thinks that this is kind of like that

except instead of his cute dog it’s his cute roommate and he doesn’t have the heart to wake you up because you look pretty comfortable

he’ll just let you snooze for a little while longer and then he’ll wake you up so that the two of you can go to your rooms

no biggie!

he lets out a little yawn

it wouldn’t kill him to take a little snooze as well riGht

n…o….. b…i…g….g…i…e….

tae’s brows furrow in discomfort when he tries to flip over onto his other side

why,,.,. can’t he move

he sniffles and reaches up to rub at his nose before wrapping his arm back around his pillow

hm

why does his pillow feel so firm all of a sudden

tae gives his pillow a gentle squeeze

it’s like soft and firm at the same time

he peels one eye open just to check-

oh jESUS

he jolts in surprise when he realises that he’s not in his room and he’s not cuddling up to his pillow

he’s still on the couch with you and you guys are definitely snuggled up together and he was definitely groping your ass three seconds ago

his thigh is tucked in between your legs

you’re using his bicep as a pillow which explains why he couldn’t move his arm earlier

he’s sure that his heart is going to bust out of his chest because

well

hi there

u look very cute when you’re asleep

your cheeks are warm n rosy (presumably from being wrapped up in tae’s arms all night) and your hair is a little mussed up

and your face is smooshed against his bicep which is adorable

the tip of his nose bumps against yours and he feels his cheeks flush red at how close the two of you are

he’d only have to move like an inch to kiss u

you grumble something under your breath as you stir and suddenly you’re changing positions and turning around so that your back is pressed against tae’s chest

tae keeps his free arm lifted so that he doesn’t accidentally grope you again or anything lol

to his complete and uTter surprise

you reach up and grab tae’s arm before wrapping it around yourself and tae feels his heart beating a mile a minute

you’re so soft and warm and you smell so sweet and it wouldn’t hurt to just.,., doze here with you for a little while longer

taehyung can’t help but nuzzle into the back of your neck before pulling you closer and wrapping his arm tighter around you

yeah

just a little while longer

it’s about an hour later when you peel open your cruSty eyes

you let out a soft yawn and wince at the light streaming in through the blinds

huh

you must’ve fallen asleep on the couch yesterday night

also

…why does your blanket feel like an arm

you glance down and your eyes widen in surprise when you see what is inDeed an arm wrapped tightly around your waist

oh my god

you’re cuddling with taehyung

oH mYFHAJKF

“tae-“ you tap his arm and wiggle around in his grip-

what the

what is that?

there’s something hard pressing into your bum

it kind of feels like-

oH

OH MY GOD

“oh my goD tae-“ you shove his arm away before rolling off the couch with a thuMp and tae shoOts up from the couch from all the commotion

“wha- what’S happening what’s happening-“ his voice is significantly deeper and raspier considering he was sleeping very peacefully like a second ago but you can barely think about that because-

“gO take care of your thING you freAK-“

tae immediately looks down and-

oH

his face flushes bright red and he grabs a pillow to cover himself

“i can’t HELP IT oh my god you’re such a pruDE-“

to say the least

this has been a very chaotic start to the morning

“cinnamon toast crunch…” you mutter to yourself as you look over the grocery list in your hands

usually you take care of the groceries and tae just pays you back for half of them but for some reason he insisted on tagging along with you today

but you’re starting to regret your decision of letting him come with you because going grocery shopping with tae is like going grocery shopping with a five year old

“y/n, check it out! a two for one deal on m&m’s!!!!!” you look over your shoulder to see tae looking vEry excited at being in the candy aisle

you let out a sigh and shake your head before pointing to the piece of paper in your hand

“we don’t need m&m’s, it’s not on the grocery list that i meticulously curated-“

“head’s up!” you immediately duck when tae suddenly huRLS two bags of m&ms over your head and right into the cart

“tae! you could’ve hit me!!!!”

“but i didn’t”

“but you couLD have”

“…but i didn’t!” he chirps and nudges you aside a little so that the both of you can push the cart

tae’s eyes flicker down to where you’re both gripping the handlebar and he moves his hand a little closer so that his pinky is pressed right up against yours

and surprisingly enough

you don’t flinch or move your hand

tae turns his head to hide the giddy smile on his face

heehee

“you’re going to get us kicked out of the store if you keep goofing around like that, you know”

“they can’t kick us out - who else is going to buy their insanely overpriced organic vegan honey-cinnamon yogurt?” tae picks the tub of yogurt up and inspects it before putting it back down “i don’t know who else would be crazy enough to spend $18 on yogurt.”

“you’re the one who eats half a tub in a sitting so it looks like i’m not the only crazy one here.” your eyes scan over the shelves and they light up when you spot your favourite cereal calling out your name

“why can’t we get froot loops instead?” tae purses his lips as you chuck the box into the cart

“because froot loops are gross and they’re full of artificial flavours and weird preservatives-”

“cinnamon toast crunch is like a having a bowl of diabetes in the morning-“

“there’s 2.1 grams of fibre in it sO-“

“but froot loops are multicoloured!!!!!”

it’s funny

the two of you are bickering like a married couple and tae can’t help but feel some sort of odd satisfaction from that

>:-)

“tae, did you get the orange juice with pulp or without pulp??” you glance over your shoulder to see tae at the ice cream freezers

“without pulp!”

you hear the faint slam of the freezer door but you don’t think too much about it as you unzip your wallet to find your rewards card

you turn to look at him again

“and are the bagels-“

“yes, i got one bag of cinnamon-raisin and one bag of plain bagels, don’t worry-“

“here you go-“ you hand your rewards card over to the cashier with a smile and she scans it before handing it back to you

you continue to place the groceries onto the conveyer belt but you look up for a second when you notice the lady stopped scanning your things

she pauses for a moment as her eyes flicker from you to tae (who is coming back with a tub of ice cream behind his back)

you’re about to ask her if your card didn’t work or something but then-

“you two make a very cute couple.” she murmurs discreetly and your entire face immediately flames up at the comment

oh

oH

“who, me and him?“ you laugh lightly and shake your head “trust me, we’re-“ your eyes widen in surprise when taheyung’s arms suddenly snake around your waist from behind “what are you-“

“thank you very much, i think we make a cute couple too.” he presses his cheek against yours before not so subtly sliding a pint of ice cream onto the conveyer belt “but let me tell you, susan… if i was a couple years older, i think we’d make a much cuter couple.”

you resist the urge to roll your eyes because there’s no way someone would fall for a line as cheesy as that

susan immediately bursts into giggles “oh, you’re awful!”

wow

apparently you were very wrong about that

“he really is” you snort and nudge your elbow into his stomach to try and get him to release you but he only tightens his grip around you “also, put the ice cream back because we’re already way over our budget-“

“aw, c’mon, baby… won’t you buy a tub of ice cream for your darling boyfriend?” tae pouts and nudges his nose into your reddening cheek

you literally don’T know why he’s doing this and you also don’t know why you haven’t pushed him away and knocked him over the head for acting all crazy

“cut it out, you weirdo. put the ice cream back-“

“you know what? the ice cream is on me. you two are just too adorable!” susan swipes the tub over the scanner before sliding it into the bag and you and tae exchange glances

huh

he was only acting all cutesy to try to convince you to buy the ice cream but it looks like it worked on susan instead

well

either way he’s happy!!

tae pinches your side to get your attention

“you think if we make out in front of her she’ll give us the groceries for free?”

,.,..oh my god

“i’m really glad you decided to help me out with folding the laundry because-“

“check it out - i’m a fruit fly!!”

you look over to see that tae has one of your bras strapped around his head so that the cups are facing upwards and your cheeks immediately grow pink when you see him bouncing around the living room like a big ol dummy

“jesus- tae, nO” you groan and toss the shirt you’re in the middle of folding aside before holding your hand out “give it to me!!”

the two of you are standing at opposite ends of the couch and you can practically hear the cowboy showdown music in your head

“you’re going to have to rip it away from my cold… dead… bODY-“ taehyung breaks into a sprint and you immediately do the same

when he sprints past the laundry basket full of freshly dried undergarments he digs his grubbY hand into it and pulls out a-

“hey, you should wear something like this around the apartment more often.” tae gawks at the verY thin vERY lacy burgundy thong hanging around his finger “instead of those dumb fruit panties-“

“get over here so i can kiCK your ASS-“

he starts cackling when you begin to chase him around the room again only this time you’re hurling balled up socks at his head  

“and… checkmate.” taehyung knocks namjoon’s chess piece out of the way before picking it up and placing it on his side of the table

namjoon furrows his brows and tilts his head as he looks down at the chessboard

what in the world

“that- you can’t do that. your move didn’t make any sense.”

tae purses his lips and looks down at the board

“…yeah, i don’t actually know how to play chess.” taehyung chirps “i don’t even know what checkmate means”

namjoon snorts

“okay!” tae turns around and leans against the front counter when you return clutching a book to your chest “i finally found the book that i was looking for so i’m ready to go when you are!”

“i just won a game of chess against namjoon” tae points out with a bright smile and namjoon squaWks in offence

“you did noT-“

“i said checkmate so that means i won”

“that literally- get out of my library.” namjoon deadpans and points towards the door

he takes chess very seriously and he will not be riDICULED in his library!!!!!!!!

“-all i’m saying is that we didn’t have to come all the way to the library for some dumb book that you could’ve easily bought online-“

“i like holding a physical copy of a book when i’m reading!! plus, i told you you didn’t have to come with me” you nod in acknowledgement when tae holds the door open for you “why thank you, good sir”

“no problem dweeb”  

you immediately stop in your tracks when you notice the thunderclouds in the sky and the drizzling of rain

frick

you didn’t know it was going to rain today

you didn’t bring an umbrella out!!!!!

“oh, shoot… it looks like we’re just going to have to wait out the storm and then head home…” you purse your lips as you look up at the dark clouds

you stick your hand out from underneath the canopy and let out a sigh as a couple fAT droplets splatter down on your palm

tae sticks his hand out and lets out a hum “don’t be ridiculous!” he scoffs “here, you’re going to use my jacket as an umbrella-“ tae takes his jacket off and drapes it around you so that it’s covering you  

“but you’re going to get wet?” you pull it up slightly to make sure that it’s going to keep your hair from getting wet

“that’s where you’re wrong, y/l/n. you’re going to be my umbrella-“ tae squats down in front of you and you immediately let out a snort

no way

no way!!!!

“if you’re implying that you piggyback me the rest of the way home you’re crazy” you shake your head and resist the urge to kiCk his ass and knock him over “you’ll drop me!!!!”

tae looks back at you with a raised brow

“i’m not going to drop you, i promise!! come on!!! riDE ME”

you gawk and lean over to slap a hand over tae’s mouth when a couple of people exiting the library give you guys weird looks

you laugh nervously and give them a thumbs up

well

it looks like you don’t have a choice

“if you drop me, i’ll kill you.” you grumble as you hop up onto tae’s back and hold the jacket out so that the both of you are somewhat shielded

you yelp when he stands up straight and bounces you slightly to adjust you

he squeezes the underside of your thighs playfully

“not if i kill u first, nerd”

you don’t know why

but you feel like the vibe with jungkook tonight is a little different

usually when you guys hang out (you’ve hung out a couple times already but this is the first time you’ve been in such an intimate and private environment) are always wrapped up in playful banter but.,.,. tonight is just.,.,. different

it’s not a big deal but

you don’t know how else to describe it

you invited him over for dinner and a movie and just to hang out in general

and you’re in the middle of choosing another movie to watch buT you guys can’t decide on whether you should go with captain america or iron man first

“this is the hardest decision i think i’ve ever had to make in my entire life.” you frown before pursing your lips in thought

“i honestly don’t care because i’ve watched these movies like ten times each.” jungkook snorts and scoots a little closer to you as you continue to flick through the choices

you let out a little sigh of frustration

choosing a damn movie should noT be this difficult

“just choose something. anything.” jungkook says a liTtle more aggressively than intended

you turn to glance at you and he flashes you a smile and shifts closer until the side of his thigh is pressed up right against yours

hm

“i mean, i’m biased because captain america is my favourite but if you wanna watch iron man i-!” jungkook hooks a finger under your chin and turns your head before pressing his lips against yours to shut you up and you know what

it woRks

you didn’t think this was going to happen but you’re not complaining

you pull away quickly and gesture to the tv “w-we haven’t chosen a-“

“shush” jungkook pulls you back down and you twitch when you feel his hands slide down your back

your eyes flutter shut and your grip loosens around the remote and jungkook pulls it from your hand before tossing it onto the sofa chair blindly

you’re so lost in jungkook that you don’t even hear the front door opening

“oh, so you get to do it on the couch but i don’t?”

you pull away agAin and jungkook lets out a little huff before resting his head back against the couch

“tae! i didn’t… think you would be home so-“

“no way.” taehyung gawks when he sees who you’re straddling “jeon jungkook??? seriously????” he snorts as he kicks his shoes off “i mean, i knew you had low standards, but i didn’t think they were this low.”

“kim, nice to see you too.” jungkook mutters sarcastically and clenches his jaw

tae rolls his eyes almost immediately

“looks like someone still doesn’t know how to take a damn joke”

you clear your throat

it seems like there’s a little bit of tension in the air

maybe it’s time to break that tension with a jokE

“so like do you guys only address other people by their surnames or-“

“how do you two know each other anyways?” tae keeps his glare on jungkook

you let out a sigh and crawl off of jungkook because it lookS like you’re not going to be getting any more alone time with him anytime soon

“we met at the sneaky party that you threw.” you prop your elbow up on the top of the couch and lean against your fist before tucking one of your legs under the other “remember? you made us play seven minutes in heaven and-“

god damnit

tae wants to punch himself in the face

“oh, rigghhhttt.”

he should’ve gone in there with you instead of setting you up with jungkook

so

this is his owN fault

if he hadn’t invited jungkook in the first place then you wouldn’t have met him and you wouldn’t be making out with him in the middle of your guys’ living room

or maybe this is your fault!!!

if yOU didn’t come home that night then you wouldn’t have met him and you wouldn’t be making out with him in the middle of your guys’ living room

“well, don’t worry about me! you guys keep doing your thing.” taehyung smiles sweetly before disappearing towards the bedrooms

you wait to hear the faint click of his door closing aaaanndd-

click

“now… where were we?” jungkook tugs on your wrist and you smile shyly before moving back to your original position

as nice as it is making out with jungkook on your couch you can’t help but think about what taehyung has up his sleeve

because there was something about his smile that didn’t sit right with-

vrROOOOOOOOOOOO

“oh, jesus-“ you pull away from jungkook in surprise when taehyung suddenly pops out from the hallway with the vacuum cleaner

“don’t mind me! y/n sheds a LOT so i’m just cleaning up all of her hair!!” taehyung rolls the vacuum underneath jungkook’s legs before whistling a happy tune to himself “just wanna make this experience as comfortable as possible for you two lovebirds!”

“do you have to do this now???” jungkook groans and taehyung pauses before reaching down to turn the vacuum off

“you’re right! i won’t do this now-“

“-god, thank you-“

“i’ll get to it after you leave! what are we watching, folks??” jungkook purses his lips in frustration when taehyung wiggles his way in between you and him

he retracts his arm down from the couch slowly

“you know what, i should probably leave…” jungkook glances over at you with a small smile “maybe i can come back when… you know.”

“yeah, that’s probably for the best…” you laugh uneasily

this is only slighTly embarrassing

“aw, come on! the more the merrier!” tae pushes his bottom lip out in a childish pout “how could you say no to iron man??”

“i have some things to do anyway. it was good seeing you, kim.” jungkook pats his knee before getting up off the couch

“mm… i can’t say the same.” tae shrugs and brings his attention back to the screen

you can’t help but roll your eyes at how immature he’s being and you get up from the couch as well “i’ll walk you to the door, jungkook-“

“he’s perfectly capable of walking to the door by himself- oW” tae hisses when you reach down and pinch his ear to shut him up

“so… i’ll see you around?” jungkook smiles shyly and scratches the back of his neck after he gets his shoes on

“mhm!” you nod and reach over to pinch a piece of fluff off his shirt before getting up on your tippy toes to give him a kiss on the cheek “i’ll text ya”

taehyung turns his head and watches you and jungkook talking to each other by the front door

he takes his bottom lip in between his teeth and chews on it anxiously

this sucks

do you like jungkook?

obviouSly you do because you were sucking his face off when he walked in here

gRGRGs

this sucks >:-(

whatever

you’re super lame anyway so it’s not a huge loss

he can just.,.,,. he can just find someone else

tae looks away quickly when he sees you giving jungkook a kiss on the cheek

that’s not fair

how come u won’t kiss him on the cheek

he deserves cheek kisses as muCh as jungkook

maybe he was dumb to think that he had a chance with you

either that or he realised faR too late that he has feelings for you

:-(

the loved-up smile immediately drops from your face the moment jungkook disappears into the elevators and you shut the front door

“i think i’m going to take a little snooze. all that vacuuming tuckered me ouT” taehyung lets out a yawn and gets up off the couch

your body seems like it’s on autopilot mode as you practically stoRm down the hallway and follow him to his room

he’s craZy if he thinks you’re going to let him get away with doing what he just did

“by the way, since i did the vacuuming today, it’s only fair that you do it for the next month - don’t you think so?”

“what the hell was that?” you snAp as you cross your arms “you totally sabotaged my date with jungkook!”

taehyung plops down on his bed and leans back against the headboard before pulling his phone out “i have no idea what you’re talking about”

“we were having a really nice time together-“

“yeah, it sure looked like you were enjoying yourself considering you were practically sucking his face off-“

“and you just swoOp in and start vacuuming???? and-“

“you know what, y/l/n? take it up with the complaint department of kim taehyung.”

you pause

what the hell is he talking about

“wh- what are you talking about?”

“you heard me. call the complaint department.” taehyung raises his phone and wiggles it

fine

you’ll play along with whatever stupid game this is

you dial tae’s number and bring your phone up to your ear all while maintaining eye contact with tae who looks vEry smug at the moment

ring

taehyung’s phone buzzes in his hand

ring

he clears his throat and hits the answer button before bringing it up to his ear

ring

“hello! this is kim taehyung headquarters, you’re speaking to secretary kim taehyung. how may i be of service today?” he greets brightly and flashes you a bright smile and a thumbs up

you have literally never felt so ridiculous in your entire life  

you let out a quiet breath to calm yourself down

just play along!!! just play aloNG  

“i… i would like to file a complaint about kim taehyung tO the kim taehyung complaint department!”

“great, can i get a name?”

“y/n y/l/n.” you can’t believe you’re taking this phone call seriously

taehyung leans back against his headboard and crosses one ankle over the other

“alright, miss y/l/n. i’ll connect you to the kim taehyung complaint department right now. i’m going to put you on hold now, if that’s okay?”

“taehyung, you’re wasting my TIME-“

taehyung literally puts you on hoLD and tosses his phone aside and you scoff when your phone starts playing an overly-cheerful piano version of twinkle twinkle little star  

you glance over at tae

he pokes his tongue into his cheek uninterestedly as he inspects his nails  

…

“…taehyung, i swear to god-“  

“shush!“ taehyung holds a finger out to shut you up “you don’t want to miss your call, do you?”

“jesus christ.” you mutter and pinch the bridge of your nose

this is ridiculous

taehyung picks his phone back up

he clears his throat

“hello! this is the kim taehyung complaint department of kim taehyung headquarters. you’re speaking to head manager kim taehyung. how may i be of service today?”

you roll your eyes before shaking your head

“okAy now that you’re finally giving me a chance to talk about-“

“oOh, sorry!” taehyung winces “my lunch break just started. you know how it is.” he pushes his bottom lip out in a mocking pout before trailing his pointer finger down from his eye to his cheek “try calling again in an hour! byeeeeee.” taehyung hangs uP on you before tossing his phone aside

UH

whAT-

WHAKJFHS

he looks over at you and raises a brow “…any success with the hotline?”

oOH

oHHDKSJHKSJD

he drives you CRAZY

you don’t know what happened!!!

he’s been so sweet to you for like a month and now it’s like the taehyung you met five months ago

and now he’s calling you y/l/n again and he’s making snide comments and being ruDe and wow

you should’ve known it wasn’t going to last forever

bAck to normal

this sucks

you honest to god don’t know what happened

whatever

if he’s going to be a stubborn prick there’s nothing you can do about it

taehyung lets out a breath once you close his door

and he can’t help but think:

maybe this is a wake up call

you hanging with jungkook and all

maYbe this is god’s way of telling him to make a move otherwise he’s going to regret it

he’s liked you for nearly a month and he literally hasn’t done anything about it so mAYbe this was a swift kick to his ass telling him to man up and dO something

“yeah.” taehyung whispers to himself

yeah

…he’s going to tell you that he likes you!!!!

and he’s going to do it as soon as possible

so

uh

it’s been about a week and a bit since your faiLure of a date with jungkook

he hasn’t made a move to reach out to you which is kind of odd

you diD leave him a text message but he never got back to you and you didn’t want to be that person who double-texted and just radiated desperation  so you didn’t do anything else

maybe he was just weirded out by tae or something

speaking of tae

you pull your phone out of your pocket when you feel it buzzing and you bring it up to your ear

“hello?”

“where do we keep all those takeout menus?” you hear some clattering on the other end of the line and you safely assume that tae’s going through all the drawers

“y/n!”

“in the-“

“oh, never mind! i found them. okay, see you soon… raccoon!”

you snort and roll your eyes

taehyung noticed that you and namjoon always said see you later alligator and in a while crocodile to each other instead of saying goodbye and he wanted to be a part of it too buT namjoon was like if you still the alligator thing from me i will give you a million paper cuts

so he came up with an alternative and that was see you soon..,.,. raccoon

it’s cute that he tried

“y/n!!”

“toodle-loo kangaroO” you hum before hanging up and slipping your phone back into your pocket

“y/n!” you turn to glance over your shoulder and you feel your heart beginning to race almost immEdiately when you see jungkook jogging towards you

oh god

what are you wearing today

you look down

jeans and… is this tae’s sweatshirt?????

oops

he must’ve mixed your guys’ laundry up agAin

“hey!” you smile brightly and wipe your sweaTy palms down on your jeans

you don’t know why you’re so nervous all of a sudden

you’ve literally had his tongue in your mouth before so

okay ew

“hey, i was hoping to bump into you! i’m sorry i haven’t texted you all week, i’ve been like, super busy.”

you’re far too infatuated with jungkook’s pretty brown eyes to notice that he smirks and nods in acknowledgement at another girl behind you

“oh! um, no, don’t worry about it.” you laugh nervously “look, i’m really sorry about what happened the last time we hung out… i didn’t think tae would be so… y’know…” you trail off awkwardly and scratch the back of your neck

“it’s totally fine, don’t worry about it!” jungkook shakes his head and smiles brightly at you “that’s actually why i wanted to talk to you… would you maybe be interested in a makeup date? i don’t want to seem too eager but… are you free tonight? maybe we can pick up from where we left off…?” he hums, reaching over to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear

you flush almost immediately

he wants to hang out toniGht

you need at least two to three business days to prepare when you make plans with someone

oH but it’s jungkook.,,.,.

“uh, yeah! yes, i’m super free tonight. i mean, not like, not that like i didn’t have plans or anything but-”

“great! i’ll come and pick you up at your place around… 7 o’clock?”

well

it looks like you officially have plans tonight

here’s the thing

taehyung has decided that tonight is the night

tonight is the night where he’s going to tell you that he might have a teensy crush on you and he’s just hoping it’ll work out

he’s never really had to.,,. confess to someone before considering he’s usually the one being confessed to

so this is a whole new game for him

he’s sure it’ll be fine though!!

he made sure to vacuum and dust the apartment and just make everything a lot neater before you got back

he timed it perfectly so that the pizza would get here ten minutes before you got home so that when you guys dig in you won’t burn the roof of your mouths with hoT cheese

he even picked up a bouquet of roses for you just because he felt like that would be something you’d like!!

and now he’s busy lighting candles because he wants everything to be perfect for you

tae perks up when he hears the front door slam shut and the faint jingling of your keys

you’re home!!!!!!

hehe

he nearly trips over himself as he rushes out from the kitchen

he glances over his shoulder at his romantic setup just to double check that he didn’t accidentally light anything on fire lol

“hey!” he greets a liTTle too enthusiastically before clearing his throat

okAy

keep it casual

“i mean… hey.” his voice deepens a little bit but his boxy grin returns to his face when you look over at him “there’s an extra large pizza sitting on the table with our names on it anD i even ordered that garlic aioli you like so much-“

“did we plan something tonight?” you furrow your brows in confusion and wrack through your brain to see if you remember making dinner plans with tae or not

huh

usually you remember these types of things

taehyung falters before pointing at the tv over his shoulder “uh, well, no, we didn’t plan anything but i thought that maybe we could have some dinner and maybe watch another one of those nature documentaries again!”

if he’s lucky maybe you’ll fall asleep midway through the documentary which will result in an accidental-but-totally-on-purpose snuggle on the couch again

>:-)

you look over at the tv and notice that he’s already turned netflix on

your favourite candle is burning away on the coffee table

there’s a bowl of warm, buttery popcorn (your favourite) mixed with mini peanut butter cups (his favourite)

aw

that’s awfully nice of tae

you feel a twingE of guilt knowing that you’re about to shut him down because you already have plans

but you’re sure he’ll understand

“that’s super nice of you and all but i actually already have plans…” you smile sheepishly and scratch your temple

the bright smile starts to fade from tae’s face and he purses his lips slightly “oh…”

that’s kind of a bummer

he really wanted to spend the night with you

tonight was supposed to be the night after all

“maybe another time! you can invite some of your pals over and hang with them! no parties, though. i’m serious.” you tease and press your hand against tae’s chest to lean against him as you take your shoes off

“right, yeah…” tae reaches up to place his hand over yours and his heart is beating so hard he’s sure you can feel it “are you… going out with namjoon or something?”

“nope - i’m going out with jungkook!”

wait

ur what

taehyung swallows thickly

what do u mean ur going out with jungkook

“considering the fact that you kinda ruined the last date i had with him - he asked me today if i wanted to go out for dinner tonight and i said yes!” you squeal excitedly and give his chest a pat before brushing past him to go to your bedroom

“why… why would you say yes?” tae blurts out

“why wouldn’t i say yes?” you raise a brow at tae before heading over to your closet and starting to rifle through your options “it was kind of a last minute thing so i don’t have a lot of time to get ready but luckily i know jusT what to wear…”

“but like… i ordered a pizza for us?” taehyung doesn’t know why he’s so nervous all of a sudden

“uh-huh - could you turn around for a second? i need to change.”

he wants to ask you to cancel ur plans and hang out with him

he ordered a pizZA for the two of you to share!!!!

he just doesn’t like that you’re hanging out with jungkook because he knoWs there’s a mutual attraction between the two of you and he doesn’t liKE THAT

not to mention

jungkook is a one night stand kind of guy and he’s probably going to bail on you after getting into your pants

the only reason why he’s still spending time with you is because you haven’t had sex with him yet and jungkook isn’t a quitter

taehyung only knows all of this because he lived with the guy last year for crying out loud

jeon jungkook is a young man of many talents and one of them is playing the ‘i’m not like other guys :-)’ card very, veRy well

“tae? could you help me?” taehyung is snapped out of his thoughts by your soft voice and he-

oh wow

god you’re pretty

you’re wearing a baby blue mini dress patterned with little daisies

you reach up to tug at one of the sleeves before turning around and gesturing to the zipper in the back

“oh, uh, yeah.” he steps towards you and you pull your hair aside

taehyung clears his throat as he pulls your zipper up slowly

his eyes flicker up to yours in the mirror

“you look… good. you look really pretty.”

the shyest of smiles tug at the corner of your mouth and you mutter a little ‘thank u’

tae can’t help but wish that you were dressing up for a date with him instead of a date with someone else

“i’ll see you later, tae!”

taehyung lets out a breath as he hears the door slam shut

looks like it’s just dinner for one tonight

he leans over and blows out the candle

you rub your hands together and shiver as you step out of the building

you hop down the stairs happily

it’s definitely a little chilly tonight but you’re not going to let that dampen the mooD

maybe you should’ve brought a cardigan with you

you still have time to go up and get it

but then again, jungkook’ll probably be here soon so you’ll be in the warmth of his heated car in no time

you just have to wait for a little bit!

you sit down on the steps and pick a piece of lint off your dress

and so, you wait

and you wait

and you wait

and you wait and you wait and you wait until you’ve been sitting on the steps for two whole hours

jungkook hasn’t texted

he hasn’t called

you’ve heard absolutely nothing from him

the only reason why you haven’t gone back up to the apartment is because you’re paranoid that if jungkook comes and you’re uP there then he’ll think that you’RE the one who bailed and you definitely don’t want that-

you nearly drop your phone when it starts buzzing in your hand and you don’t know whether to feel angry or relieved to see jungkook’s number on the screen

“hello?” you clear your throat and wrap your arms tighter around yourself

jesus it’s coLd

“y/n, i am so sorry… i completely forgot about dinner tonight… can we reschedule?”

“n-no, it’s okay, it happens to all of us!” you shake your head as you push yourself up off the stairs “i didn’t think i would be so easily forgotten considering the fact that you asked me like four hours ago but-“

you freeze when you hear the sound of someone else’s soft giggle and a faint ‘who’s that, kookie?’ in the background and you immediately pale

is he

is he seriously with someone else right now

“sorry, were you saying something? i think you got cut off.”

you poke your tongue into your cheek and let out a scoff

“…go fuck yourself, kookie.”

you hang up on him before he has the chance to respond and shove your phone back into your purse

jesus

what a jerk!!!!!

you waited two hours for him!!! and it tuRns out he was with someone else the entiRE friggin time

you feel so stupid

the entire elevator ride back up to the apartment you’re thinking of a hundred different ways to castrate jeon jungkook

you would love to just drive your fist riGHT into that absurdly-toned stomach

put some high heels on and jump all over his muscular thighs

maybe even-

“you’re back much earlier than i expected.”

you close the door behind you and double lock it

tae is sitting on the couch still watching the nature docuseries

and it looks like he finished most of the popcorn and peanut-butter cups himself

taehyung furrows his brows as he checks the time on his phone “it’s only-“

“he didn’t come. he forgot about dinner.” you force a smile on your face as you bend down to untie your shoelaces

taehyung frowns

uh oh

“…but you’ve been gone for two hours-“

“because i was waiting outside on the sidewalk-“

“well why didn’t you just come back up-“

“because he said he would pick me up outside, and i didn’t want him to think i bailed on him or anything if i wasn’t waiting for him downstairs.” your voice wavers slightly as you yank your hair down from your high ponytail

taehyung can see that you’re visibly upset and it makes hiM mad that jungkook flaked on his date with you

but at the same time it makes him mad that you said yes to going out with jungkook instead of hanging out with him!!!

he doesn’t know what to think!!!

maybe it’s because he’s eaten like 100 mini peanut butter cups and feels suPer jittery but he’s just vEry confused and frustrated about a lot of things but one thing that he knows for sure is that he likes u a lot and he’s hurt because yoU chose jungkook over him

and he knows that you’re not obligated to hang out with him anD he supposes it’s not fair of him to act so selfishly considering the fact that you don’t know about his feelings for you but stiLL

he’s allowed to wallow in a pool of self-pity for as long as he likes!!!!  

“i’m not surprised he bailed on you.” taehyung mutters to himself and turns the volume up on the tv

you immediately stop in your tracks

oh boy

if you weren’t upset a second ago you’re definitely upset now

you drop your purse to the floor before storming over and grabbing the remote from him and promptly turning the tv off

“hey, i was watching that!” taehyung snaps and reaches over to grab the remote back from you “give it back-“

“why are you such an asshole?!” you hiss and toss the remote aside “for the last couple of months, i’ve been nothing but a wonderful roommate! i cook, i clean, i buy the groceries, i make sure the bills are always paid on time so that you can enjoy your hot lava showers, i do the laundry, i even iron your stupid bandanas for you because i don’t want you walking around with crinkly ass bandanas on your head - and you have repaid me with absolutely nothing!” tears of anger sting at your eyes and you reach up to wipe them away aggressively

taehyung gets up from the couch “jesus, y/n, take it easy-“

“all you do is sit on your ass all day and whine and complain and make mean comments and push me around and leave your shiT everywhere a-and constantly bring girls home and i hate you! i absolutely, 100% hate you with every fibre of my being and i want you out of my goddamn apartment by the end of tomorrow night. i want you out!”

taehyung’s eyes widen in surprise

okay

first of all

ouch

“you don’t hate me.” taehyung shakes his head and gets up from the couch

“i do. i do hate you. like, a lot.” you mumble and cross your arms

he’s quiet for a second and he clenches his jaw  

“fine, here’s what we’re going to do.”

you furrow your brows in confusion as tae pushes the couch to the side of the room before proceeding to push the coffee table to the side as well so that the centre of the living room is bare

“what the hell are you doing??”

“you stand by the front door,” taehyung points towards the door “and i’ll stand way over there by the balcony doors. from this point, there are approximately twelve steps away from both the front door and the balcony doors, so it’s fair. every time you list one reason as to why you hate me, you take a step forward.”

you immediately scoff

“oh, please. i can list a hundred reasons as to why i hate you.“

“however!” taehyung raises a finger to shut you up “if i can defend myself against you, i can take a step forward as well. if i get to the centre of the room before you, i get to stay. if you get to the centre before i do, then i’ll leave.”

“what do you mean defend yourself?? that hardly seems fair-”

“hey, i’m giving you the chance to kick me out. don’t you want to take that chance since you obviously hate me, y/n?” he seethes and clenches his fists at his sides

“you know what? fine. i have a vEry detailed list of reasons why i hate you in my notes app and i’m glad that i finally get to share it with you” you pull your phone out and open up the document

(you made this document within the first month of him moving in but you haven’t actually opened it in a long time so it’s kinDa empty so it looks like you’re going to have to improvise)

taehyung snorts and rolls his eyes as he leans back against the balcony doors “you’re not doing a very good job at hiding your crazy, y/l/n.”

there he goes again with anoTher snarky comment

you are sO ready to win this fight and kick kim taehyung out of your apartment

you ignore his remark and clear your throat before taking one step forward “reason #1: you constantly use my shampoo. it’s my shampoo!!! i bought it with my own money aNd it’s on my side of the tub!!”

“how dare you?” taehyung scoffs “i’m helping you by using your shampoo.”

what the hell is he even talking about

“what- please, enliGhten me.” you snort “how are you helping me by using up all of my shampoo?”

“see, the thing is - you use too much conditioner. i’m a very observant person, and i’ve noticed that since you use too much conditioner every time you wash your hair, you’re always having to buy a new bottle of conditioner way, waY before you’ve finished using up the shampoo. so i’m just helping out by using up all the shampoo so that the ratio of shampoo to conditioner is always consistent! if you think about it, i’m actually helping you out.”

taehyung takes a step forward and you gawk at him before shaking your head “that is noT fair-“

“hey, i defended myself and i backed myself up with good reasons. next reason!”

“fine!” you take another step forward and look at the list on your phone again “you always, always leave your dirty dishes in the sink and you never wash them which means i end up having to take care of them for you. have you noticed i never leave any of my dirty dishes in the sink?”

“you know, you’re right about that.” taehyung lets out a sigh and crosses his arms “…however, the problem with your statement is that you don’t give me the chance to take care of my dirty dishes in the sink. i leave them there for one minute and the next thing i know, when i walk back into the kitchen, you’re already there scrubbing away at the dishes. i don’t wash my dishes because you won’t let me. you’re right! you never leave any of your dirty dishes in the sink because you always eat takeout - do you realise you’re contributing to the plastic waste pollution that is already greatly impacting our planet? do you hate the earth, y/n? is that it? you like watching nature documentaries yet you don’t seem to care about our planet…”

“i-i don’t hate the earth!!!! i love the earth!!!!” you stammer over your words at the sudden accusation of you wanting to watch the world burn

“say that to the fAT bag of plastic straws in the kitchen cabinet. i highly suggest you invest in a reusable metal straw, like me.”

shiT

okay it’s fine you still have plenty of things to complain about

“you drink juice straight out of the carton!”

“i drink the juice out of the carton because you constantly complain about me having dirty dishes. if i drink out of the carton, i won’t have to use a cup, which results in less dirty dishes. you’re welcome.”

“you consTAntly leave the toilet seat up”

“actually, you constantly leave the toilet seat down.”

“whenever you bring your special friends over you guys are always too loud aNd it always sounds like goats screeCHING”

taehyung holds a finger out and takes another step forward

oh you have goT to be kidding

“you haven’t-“

“have you ever heard me?”

you falter for a second

he hasn’t brought a girl around in a while but you remember that when he would bring them over usually you’d just hear,.,. the girl

thinking about it now you don’t know if you’ve ever heard taehyung moaning obnoxiously

“the ladies are the ones making the goat noises, not me - so you can’t blame me here because i’m not the one making the sounds.” taehyung laughs lightly and the smug smile drops from your face when he takes a step forward

oh my god

this game is impossible

you’re never going to win

you’re never going to get rid of him

taehyung totaLLy rigged the entire thing

you hate him!!!!

“i hate you.” you take a giAnt step forward

taehyung raises a brow

huH

so that’s how you’re going to play it

alright

“i hate you more.” he does the same

“i hate you most!” you take another step forward

“i hate you mostest!”

“i hate you… x100!!!!”

“i hate you infinity!!!”

and now

you’re both standing toe to toe nose to nose in the middle of the living room and taehyung raises a brow at you as if daring you to make a move

you want nothing more than to wipe that cocky smirk off his face

and he wants nothing more than to continue to push your buttons and piss you off

…

the sound of your phone clattering to the ground might as well be a starter gunshot

the two of you practically lunge at each other and your mouths smear together clumsily

your teeth bump together with scraping kisses but honestly you can’t bring yourself to care

there’s something sweet about the way his lips taste

…it’s that damn strawberry gum he’s always chewing on

you feel tae’s hands slide down from your waist and skim over your bum briefly before he’s wrapping his fingers around the underside of your thighs and hoisting you up in one swift movement

you let out a gasp of surprise before winding your arms around tae’s neck instinctively “jesUs tae give a girl a warning next time-“

“next time?” he jokes and your cheeks flush at the implication that this is going to happen again sometime in the future

luckily the bedroom isn’t far from the living room because tae’s low-key afraid he’s going to drop you at some point

“u know what i mean”

“no, i don’t think i do- also, we’re fucking in my room because i’m the one with the condoms-“

“how do you know i don’t have condoms???”

“…you ever think about becoming a comedian?”

you roll your eyes before leaning down and covering his mouth with yours

“hey, i just realised i didn’t get the chance to tell you about all the things that i despise about you!” the mattress bounces underneath your weight as tae plops you down on it

you let out a huff and reach up to brush a couple strands of hair away from your face

“impossible because i’m literally perfect in every single way possible-“

“you wanna know what i hate about you?” tae cuts you off and parts your legs before crawling over you “you watch rilakkuma and you are an aDULt-”

you gawk immediately and resist the urge to smack him on the side of his head “says the one who watches naRUtO-“

“and not to mention i hate your stupid fruit-printed panties-“ taehyung growls and grinds down against your centre as he nips down your neck

you instinctively arch your back against him before letting out a snort “they’re cute and comFORtabLE-“

“if you’re going to walk around the apartment with no shorts on, at least wear something a little lacier.” he rolls his eyes as he pulls away from you and hops off so that he’s standing at the foot of the bed

you shuffle up to settle your head back against the pillows “oh, fuck you”

before you get a chance to get comfortable tae’s grabbing your ankles then pulling you back down so that your legs are dangling off the end of the mattress

your eyes widen when he suddenly appears above you

“trust me, i’m about to.” he leans down to give you a quick kiss before pulling away and you unconsciously let out a whimper

taehyung lowers to his knees and pushes your dress up until it’s crumpled up around your waist

god  

of course your panties have peaches on them  

fitting, considering the fact he’s going to be eating your peach in a minute

“oh, i also hate that you watch nature documentaries instead of shitty reality television shows like the reST of us-“ he grumbles and yanks your panties off before tossing them aside

you instinctively squeeze your legs together and taehyung reaches up to grip onto your kneecaps

“you know, i don’t know why you have to be so judgemental about eveRYthing that i do!! like so what if i watch rilakkuma and documentaries about sharks and- namjoon was actually the one who introduced me to nature docs in the first place because he said that cartoons would rot my brain so if you’re looking to put the blame on someone i personally would hiGHly suggest that- oH“ you yelp in surprise when tae suddenly fuLLy spreads your legs in one swift movement

he looks up at you from in between your legs and his fingers dig into the soft flesh of your thigh when he feels you wanting to cloSe them again

“are you going to shut up and let me go down on you or what?”

well

it doesn’t take you very long to discover what soo-young, or joy, was so damn happy about

your back arches and your lashes flutter in disbelief when you feel tae gliding his tongue in between your folds in quick, deep strokes

you don’t really want to give him the satisfaction of hearing you moan because of him but goD he’s making it really hard to not moan

your fingers grip tightly at the bedsheets and you nearly bite your bottom lip off when taehyung’s the one who lets out a throaty groan

“a-ah-“ this is the first loud moan he’s been able to pull from you and you feel the curve of his mouth as he smiles against you

“where do you think you’re going?” you let out a little yelp of surprise when taehyung wraps his arms around your thighs and pulls you down so that he can get even deeper

“tae- oh my god-“ you’re practically blubbering at this point and taehyung is very satisfied knowing about his effect on you

your knuckles feel creaky from clutching at the bedsheets so tightly but somehow you manage to pry one hand off before you’re tangling your fingers into tae’s honey brown locks and giving him a little tug of encouragement

the strands of hair feel awfully soft between your fingers and you’re reminded for a brief second that it’s because he’s using your organic shampoo and condition-

“don’T stop, oh my god, don’t stop-“ you accidentally give him a particularly rough yank when he suckles harder and flicks his tongue rapidly over your nerves

you can feel your muscles starting to get tighter

your abdomen starting to clench and unclench

and that familiar warmth growing in your stomach

the tingly feeling from the tips of your toes to the tips of your fingers

you’re almost there

getting closer and closer to cloud nine

and just when you’re literally a second away from exploding-

your eyes pop open when tae suddenly pulls away and your body twitches in response to being so close yet so far  

“wait, wha-“ you prop yourself up on your elbows

your dress is drooping off one shoulder and you gawk at tae when it seems like he’s not going to get back down there anytime soon “what are you doing?? i was literally about to-“

“if you’re going to cum-“ tae gets back up onto his knees before tugging his shirt off in one swift movement

oh

hello

he tilts his head and offers you a smirk when he notices your eyes wandering

“-you might as well do it around my cock.”  

it doesn’t take very long for the two of you to prep for the main course

in fact it kind of seems like a competition as the both of you riP your clothes off  

you’re pretty sure you broke a thread or two on your dress but it’s fine

“you ready?” there’s a playful glint in tae’s eyes as he rips the foil package open with his teeth

you resist the urge to roll your eyes as you settle back against the fluffy pillows

“are you ready?” you challenge with a raised brow

christ almighty

he likes you but you’re reaLLy getting on his nerves

“i cannot wait to fuck the brattiness out of you” tae grumbles more to himself than to you

also

you knew tae was packing even beFore you got to see it up close and personal (like all those times he’d walk around the apartment wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants) but it still doesn’t fail to surprise you looking at it now

he’s an impressive size, to say the least

tae glances at you for a second as if to gauge your reaction as he rolls the condom onto his length smoothly

well

the way you spread your legs for him the moment he gets the condom on is definitely a good sign

tae settles in between your legs and leans down to give you an (unexpectedly sweet) kiss as he presses against your entrance

he immediately notices the way your brows pinch together in discomfort

it hAs been a while after all

“you alright?” he asks softly as you envelope him in your arms

“don’t get all soft on me now, kim” you tease and brush some hair out of his eyes

he snorts

“trust me, i’m the opposite of that-“

your mouth falls open in a silent gasp when tae slides in smoothly with no resistance at aLL from your walls

he did a really good job warming you up that’S for sure

you dig your nails into his shoulders when he drives forward hard and he swoops down to catch your lips in a kiss

“jesus, you’re tight-“ he huffs when he feels you clench around him

you whimper breathlessly while pulling his broad, muscled shoulders closer and bucking your hips up towards him

“do you hate me now, hm?” tae growls lowly as he hitches one of your legs up to his hip and continues to piston into you

“i, nngh, i h-hate you s-so much-“ you’re practically sobbing with pleasure and taehyung is most definitely going to keep this memory in his spank bank for future use heyO

he’s going so mind-blowingly hard he’s sure that he’s going to break the bed

his breathing is raggedly in time with every push into you

he groans and throws his head back when he feels himself getting closer n closer to the edge

he never thought it was possible to feel this good

god is a woman yes She IS

your head digs back against the plush pillows and tae lowers his body so that he’s resting on his forearms

his sticky chest is practically crushed against yours as he continues to drive you into the bed and you can’t help but let yourself indulge in the feeling of his muscles rippling underneath your fingertips

“you don’t- fuck, you don’t hate me, admit it-“

“jesus tae of course i don- god, h-harder,” you hiccup and dig your nails into his back so hard that you’re positive you’re drawing a little bit of blood “please-“

if there’s one thing that taehyung knows he’s super good at

it’s taunting you

and he’ll never forgive himself if he lets this window of opportunity close on him

“please, who?” he taunts you with hot breaths against your ear “say my name-“

“f-fuck you-“

“jesus, fuck, say my fucking name-“ his hand slips in between your legs and you twitch when he starts rubbing quick circles over your clit “let everybody know who’s making you feel this good-“ taehyung groans and buries his face into the crook of your neck

“tae- oh my god, taehyung-!” you cry out sharply and immediately tighten around the next powerful push he delivers inside of you

your orgasm shockwaves through you as you pulse hard around him

you can practically hear your blood roaring in your ears as he continues to fuck you through your orgasm

speaking of orgasms

tae’s thrusts are starting to get jerky and uneven and you can tell by the way his nails dig into the soft flesh of your hips that he’s close

“so fucking tight-“ tae stiffens and rams into you one last time before his orgasm practically explodes from the centre of him and into the condom

his lips part and he lets out a low moan of satisfaction before going slack on top of you

you’re nothing but light twitches and whimpers as taehyung pulls out of you gently

you feel him pressing soft kisses to your shoulders and you reach up to stroke your hand over his damp locks before he’s rolling off of you with a gasp

…

okay

oookaaay

okay!

so

you just

you and tae just

y’all really did that

the realisation that the two of you just had sex seems to hit the both of you at the same time

tae clears his throat

“so.”

“so.” you repeat quietly

you prop yourself up on your elbows and turn to look over at him

“you can keep living here, i was just… pent-up anger, you know how it builds.”

“oh, yeah, i get it.” tae clears his throat as he sits up to toss the soiled condom away

you lie back down and let out a breath

would it be weird for you to stay

is he not asking you to leave because he’s just being polite

o god

yeah

maybe you should go back to your room

you lift the covers off gingerly and sit up as your eyes flicker about to search for your dress “i should probably-“

tae reaches out quickly and wraps his fingers around your wrist

you turn to look at him

he looks dewy in the warm glow of the bedside lamp (but also because he’s kinda sweAty)

his cheeks are rosy and his hair is mussed and he has blotches of red dotted along his neck and if you look hard enough you’re able to make out the faint crescent moon marks embedded in his bicep (you really need to cut ur nails soon)

he’s so cute

“you- uh, you can stay if you want to… you didn’t get a chance to put your fresh bedsheets on anyway”

his heart skips a beat when you nod and curl back under the covers with him

a moment of silence goes by

tae turns over onto his side so that he’s facing you

“do you actually hate me?” he murmurs and reaches over to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear

you hum

“i could never.”

he smiles happily before flipping over onto his back

he doesn’t know if now would be a good time to tell you about how he feels about you

the comfortable silence is nice and also he’s still a little anxious about how you’re going to respond

he doesn’t want to ruin this bubble that you guys are in right now

so maybe it’d be better to tell you tomorrow

yeah

he’ll do it tomorrow

as you’re lying there in the dark, the thought of ‘do i like taehyung?’ crosses your mind

and there’s really only one answer to that question

there’s a reason why you weren’t all that hurt when jungkook didn’t show up

there’s a reason why the entire time you were waiting for jungkook to pick you up, the only thing you were thinking about was how you definitely bailed on tae and how much fun a pizza and documentary night would’ve been with him

there’s a reason why you let him join in on your supEr private air-guitar concerts in the kitchen that only namjoon has been able to experience

there’s a reason why you don’t mind all the teasing and the hair-pulling

there’s a reason

why you don’t get mad at him when he wakes you up in the morning by whacking you with a pillow before bouncing up and down on your bed like a maniac

why you don’t roll your eyes when he complains about there not being any yogurt left or when you eat the last piece of orange chicken or when you insist on watching another episode of ‘our earth’ before going to bed and he responds by calling you a nerd

there’s a reason why you feel like this unintentional hookup was actually intentional this whole damn time

there’s a reason why you agreed to stay with him instead of going to your room which is literally ten steps away

oh, god. i like taehyung.

taehyung wakes up the next morning in a cold, empty bed

he props himself up and rubs his hand over his face to wake himself up a little bit

his eyes flicker over your side of the bed

the pillow still has a dip in it from where your head was and-

yep of courSe you left a couple stands of hair behind lol

he turns to check the time on his phone and thaT’s when he notices the pink sticky note stuck to the pole of his bedside lamp

he squints a little because his eyes are still a little bleary with sleep

but once the note comes into his focus and he gets a chance to read it

his heart drops to his stomach

‘taehyung - i think that was a mistake.’

here’s the thing

you’re not just stressing out a little bit

you weren’t even this nervous when you were studying for finals!!!!!

you’re stressing out a LOTtle bit because now that you’ve had the entire day to think about it

you’re 110% sure that you have a crush on kim taehyung

and you have no fuNKing idea what the heck you’re supposed to do now

tell him that you like him??? what if he doesn’t like you back?? he’s still going to be your roommate even if he doesn’t like you back and things will never be the same again because you’re always going to have that elephant in the room you’ll be tip-toeing around and it’s just going to be a biG ol mess

but what if you don’t tell him that you like him?? then things will go back to normal except you guys will just never talk about the fact that his p was inside of your v and you’re probably going to have to deal with him bringing girls over again which is something that would honestly probably break your already weAK heart

but if you really think about it

at the end of the day, you’re always going home to taehyung

taehyung is your home.

“sometimes you just have to be willing to take a chance, you know?” namjoon shrugs as he flips a pen in between his fingers “otherwise you’re going to spend the rest of your life wondering to yourself, ‘what if i…?’”

you let out a little huff and lean down to press your face against the counter

sometimes you feel like namjoon was some kind of wise old owl in his past life

or maybe because he just reads a lot of philosophy books

he spends a lot of time in the library after all

“i don’t know, joonie… it’s not that easy, you know?” you sigh and shake your head “what happens if he doesn’t feel-“

namjoon literally shrieKs and ducks down when the library doors suddenly swing open violently

your eyes widen when you see taehyung storm in looking like he’s about to kill someone

he looks around frantically before locking gazes with you

oh

great!

it looks like the person he’s about to kill is you

“what the hell do you mean by ‘i think that was a mistake?’”

oh boy

you swallow thickly

“it either was a mistake or it wasn’T a mistake! you can’t think you made a mistake! you make a mistake, or you don’t make a mistake! there’s no in between, y/n!” he exasperates as he stomps over to you

you flash the people around the front counter a sheepish smile before looking at a veRy angry tae

you clear your throat

“hello to you too, roomie.”

“oh don’T give me that roomie bullshit right now, y/l/n.” he snaps and fixes the strap of his backpack “i think we need to talk.”

hA

nice reference

how clever of him

the cheeky boy

“i… don’t know if we have anything we need to talk about…” you shrug innocently before turning to lean back against the counter

oh

alright

if that’s how you’re going to do things then tae will happily play along

“oh? we don’t?” he raises a brow before poking his tongue into the inside of his cheek

“nope”

he scoffs and crosses his arms before looking you dead in the eye

“okay, fine. we don’t have to talk about the red scratch marks down my back left by your nails due to our mind-blowing sex last night because they’re kindA starting to sting and i was hoping we could go to the pharmacy and pick up some ointment for them… we also don’t have to talk about how you practically went cross-eyed when i did that thing with my tongue where-“

“okAY so it looks like we do have a couple things to talk about after all!!!!!” your voice cracks and namjoon gives you that look that you knOw is the ‘you have a lot of explaining to do’ face

it kind of makes him look constipated but that’s not the point

the most private place you could find in the shortest amount of time was behind the library

there’s a faint smell of garbage since this is where the dumpsters are but it seems like neither one of you care

“what is the matter with you??” you hiss and cross your arms

“what’s the matter with me?” tae scoffs “what’s the matter with yOU??”  

you resist the urge to roll your eyes

“look, i’m sure whatever you want to talk about can wait til we get back to the apartment-“

“where were you in the morning?” tae interrupts you and raises a brow

…

oof

see

the thing is

this morning when you woke up and realised that you still had feelings for taehyung and it wasn’t just a post-orgasm hormonal thing you kind of freaked out

so naturally you just… left

you just needed some time to think

anD you needed to hunt namjoon down because he always gives the best advice

you didn’t think it’d be such a big deal

in fact you’re not even sure why taehyung is fussing so much over it

unless….

“what- what are you talking about?”

“i don’t know how else to state the question. where were you this morning?”

“…i was… look, taehyung, i-“

“how do you think it makes me feel when you promised you would stay with me and i-i wake up completely alone and instead of seeing you the first thing i see is a stupid sticky note with-“ he raises his hands to do air quotes “-taehyung, i think that was a mistake?????”

“i can see why that would make you upset but i really think it’d be best if we just forgot about what we did and simply moved on-“

“oh my god, you are so stuBBo- you know what, i actually didn’t get the chance to finish going through the list of things that i hate about you, so i think now is the perfect chance to finish telling you aLL about it” tae laughs coldly and your brows knit together in confusion

“i don’t know if that’s very relevant right now-“

“you wanna know what the biggest thing i hate about you is?”

oh god

here we go

“what? my apparent inability to differentiate between making a mistake and-“

“i hate how much i like you.” tae interrupts you and your eyes widen at the sudden confession “i like everything about you, y/n. i like seeing how happy you get when you’re watching an episode of rilakkuma or when we’re having a nature documentary marathon. i like your stupid fruit-printed panties and i’m pretty sure my heart went into overdrive when i saw your dumb peach ones last night.” tae rolls his eyes playfully, “i like you, and i’m like 97% sure that you like me back, but you’re just too stubborn to admit it! i just- you are so fruStrating and usually i can tell if someone likes me back but it’s like i can’t even tell with you!!!!!” he scoffs and flaiLs his arms around before starting to pace around in front of you “jesus, y/l/n, i like you, and i wanna hold your hand, and i wanna kiss your stupid face after you wake up and before you go to bed, and i want you to wear my sweatshirts not because it was accidentally mixed into your laundry basket but just because you like wearing my clothes, and i wanna go grocery shopping with you and see how many tubs of ice cream we can get for free-“

you’re barely paying attention to what taehyung’s saying because:

taehyung likes you

and you like him

the realisation makes a soft smile appear on your face and you feel your heart skip a beat

taehyung likes you!!!!

and you like him!!!!

you guys like each other!!!!!

oh my god!!!!!

oH My gOD!!!!!!

“and you know what, even if you don’t like me back i don’t regret telling you about my feelings because i feel good knowing that it’s off my chest-“

“tae-“ you clear your throat and tae holds a hand out as if to tell you to shUT it

“-and at the end of the day we’re still going to be roommates which is finE with me like if you don’t like me in that way i guess i’ll have to get used to rejection but-“

“tae-“

“-i just wanna know!!!! i just wanna know what’s going on in that duMb ol head of yours because one minute you’re cuddled up to me and the next you’re acting like i’m crawling with germs oR one minute you’re calling me tae-tae and feeding me chicken because i’m too lazy to feed myself and the next minute you-“

“kim taehyung!!!!!!!”

“what?!” tae stops in his tracks and whiPs around to face you

he’s surprised to see that you’re looking at him with the softest smile on your face

there’s a little twinkle in your eye as you take a step towards him

“i think… this is the part where you’re supposed to kiss me.”

the frown fades from tae’s face

wait what

you

you want him to kiss you?

does this mean…

well now he feels a little silly

you should’ve saiD something before he went off on his angry rant about how much he haTes that he likes you

taehyung clears his throat “…sorry, what was that?”

you let out a sigh and roll your eyes before reaching out and grabbing onto the collar of tae’s t-shirt and pulling him towards you

your nervous happiness transitions to a giddy excitement as you press your lips against his

this kiss is definitely veRy different compared the one you shared last night

more sweet

more loving

your guys’ mouths meld together so perfectly it almost seems like you guys were made for each other and damNit you can taste that obnoxiously sweet strawberry gum on his lips

tae’s arm snakes around your waist and his palm presses against your jaw as he tilts your head up

you feel like you could float up to the sky like a balloon if it weren’t for his grip on you

his lips are insistent and he parts for a brief second before going back in for another kiss

he tilts his head a bit juSt so he can press a tiny bit harder and you giggle when his nose nudges against yours

it feels like sparkles are just blinking everYwhere around the two of you

tae smiles softly as he pulls away and up this close you’re able to see the golden flecks in his brown irises twinkling like little tiny stars

“does this mean i can drink straight out of the orange juice carton now?” tae hums and brushes a strand of your hair back gently

you purse your lips in thought

“…we’re going to have to talk about that one.”

so yeah

out of all the people in the world to get stuck with

kim taehyung really isn’t all that bad.

[the-lightning-strikes-again]

Hey Lightning, I was wondering if I could get your thoughts on something. One take that seems to keep returning every once in a while is the "Allura fell for Lotor only after he revealed his Altean heritage," but I know u and others have disproven this many times, which does reassure me. While I love Allura, I definitely think one of her weaknesses was her devotion to Altea and singing Alfor's praises, which sometimes became too much. At the same time, it bothers me when I see some ppl (1/?)

Continuing anon message: “ say that she thought Alteans were superior to all other races, and that when the colony plot twist happened, she became repulsed by Lotor's Galra side, which is why she rejected him. For them, that's why she forced violent memories onto an uncorrupted Zarkon, but somehow "saw the good/redeemed" Honerva, the Altean. I can kind of understand where they're coming from, but for me, it just didn't make sense that Allura suddenly had a change of heart considering for most of s8, she was angry and dead set on going after Honerva. Even with that, I think to a lot of her fans, s8 made Allura so ooc that she became unrecognizable, which hurt to watch. I guess for me it's hard seeing antis and people who don't like her claim that that's just how she is and has always been. Haha sorry for rambling, but I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, since your arguments ease my mind on a lot of things when it comes to Allura :)”

Hi, anon. Wow, thanks for your extended note! I don’t know anywhere in canon that Allura champions Alteans as a superior race. The definition of racial supremacy is a belief that inherent genetic differences between races determine cultural or individual achievement, with social/governmental policies championing intolerance of other races. To get Allura to fit into such a label:

1.      A viewer has to ignore or undermine all the evidence available about who the main-universe Alteans really were before main-universe Zarkon’s massacre of them.

2.      A viewer has to ignore or undermine how Allura actually responds to a variety of different races in the show, including her own.  

So let’s start with issue one. To support an “Allura was a racial supremacist” opinion, a lot of antis (and even non-militant, average viewers) are favorable to the opinion that Alteans as a group, including Alfor, were actually evil and violent colonizer elitists before Galrans killed them off. In other words, they question Altean victimhood, and this allows the militant antis to poison and undermine scenes of a woman mourning her home and her beloved family. And it just gets to be a really unsettling conversation, to listen to someone actually try to justify genocide. They’ll also have suspicions that all of our foundational backstory in the s3 finale was just “cleansed” propaganda from Coran. So if antis can undermine Allura’s entire race and family as corrupt, then they can intentionally undermine any of her canonical statements about or efforts toward peace. Which is hilarious, because this racist tactic applied to Allura is actually what a lot of antis accuse Allura of doing with Lotor.

For the record, I don’t think the show production team actually intended the subliminal messaging/cognitive dissonance that I’m about to discuss. The people who designed and developed this show are fans of robot kitties and aren’t PhDs in social issues. But I think there is a very serious issue about the portrayal of genocide victims that feeds into some very real problems in our world, especially regarding the concept of racial supremacy and conspiracy theories about genocide victims.

VLD tried to play with both genocide politics for edge™ points while ALSO playing with shatterglass theory (shatterglass meaning an AU where the heroes are villains and villains are heroes). Combining these two concepts into the same universe creates some incredibly disturbing subliminal messaging about Alteans that very closely mimics ongoing neo-Nazi propaganda against Jews. Nazis and other anti-Semitists justify their hatred of Jews by equating them as terrible villains out for world domination via some underhanded shadow control of the mass populace. It’s an incredibly malicious form of propaganda, because it works so terribly well. And what do you know, VLD plays right into this kind of propaganda. In the season 3 episode, Hole in the Sky, we’re faced with team Voltron confronting an Altean Empire that was actually evil and out for multiverse domination. And oh by the way, they’re using malicious shadow tech to control a mass populace.

It’s like someone on the production team read the Protocols of the Elders of Zion and then just copied/pasted that incredibly damaging and widely accepted conspiracy theory right onto Alteans for s3 funsies because edge content.

This is incredibly punishing, for the narrative to wave the carrot stick in front of genocide survivors that maybe some others survived—and then to suggest that Alteans were the evil ones all along. A shatterglass twist worked very well in Captain Marvel (2019) for a lot of reasons, for example, but it just doesn’t work well in the VLD universe given that the show explicitly portrays the genocide victims as evil and validates this concept. And this episode unfortunately feeds ongoing cognitive dissonance in antis that if AU Alteans could be so evil…how certain are you that they aren’t in the main universe too? On the reverse side, the main-universe goes out of its way to portray that not all Galrans are evil, and even that Galrans were the primary resistance (BOM). But in this singular episode, we see a united Altean empire. And the only Altean who moves to stand against it once the shine wears off…is Allura. There is no AU Altean actually shown in the Guns of Gamara. So Allura stands alone as an Altean against her own people.

For this reason, this episode doesn’t function very well as a shatterglass AU either, because the moral “flip” isn’t a mirror balance to main universe. The Alteans of the AU world appear as fully united in their evil plans. And then, no doubt, anti-alluras point out other quirky things about main-universe Alteans throughout the show—the violent language-learning system that scares Pidge, and the ancient Altean terraforming technology that Haggar activates, and the fact that Oriande is a hidden place that keeps out the less magical with a violent guardian. These details, when removed from main-universe world building, create a cognitive dissonance about whether main-universe Allura and Alteans were actually genuine in how they depicted respectful “peace and diplomacy.” So anti alluras who believe Allura was a racial supremacist really rely on this s3 episode and these details to uphold their conspiracy theory.

So let’s focus on Allura in this episode, because it says a lot about who she ultimately is as a person, and people have forgotten how she actually responded in this episode. Allura is unquestionably hopeful at the thought that her and Coran might not be the last Alteans alive. Pretty understandable. If I were the last human, I’d be darn excited to find out there’s more of me left, lol. So her experience as a genocide victim initially blinds her to the evilness of these Alteans. You can even see the ache on her face, of how badly she wants to believe their narrative of peace.

So Allura is initially star-struck that she and Coran are not the last Alteans, yes, and that somehow they’ve achieved a “peace.” She is also not afraid to admit that they would be valuable allies in the war:

And she’s not wrong there, considering that they have what appears to be extensive military resources and a robot force of their own. But she makes a critical mistake in assuming that “these are my people” means that they share main-universe cultural sentiments. The instant Allura hears Slav (so not someone of her own race) call these Alteans out as actually evil colonizers turning people into slaves, she begins to question the narrative she’s received.

In this instance, she actually affords the Alteans the same courtesy she afforded Lotor—the opportunity to deny the accusations.

But in the AU Altean’s case, they try to turn blame back on other parties. Allura listens to Keith when he grows increasingly fearful of what the Alteans might do to the others, and she tries to plead for actual peace:

And actually, this is a pretty interesting moment for Allura. She tries to salvage an alliance…until she realizes that their differences are irreconcilable, and that their definition of peace is inherently different from her own. This probably sets the stage for why Allura was so triggered by Lotor talking about peace while also killing people—because she’s seen people misappropriate that term before. And also probably informs why she trusts the information of both Keith and Krolia (both of whom have Galran blood, btw).

Ultimately, Allura turns against her own people. Violently:

When they get angry about her wanting actual peace, Allura draws a weapon against them and rejects them from her people. This mimics how she spends several seasons fighting an Altean Haggar/Honerva for her crimes, and how she turns against Lotor too.

So case in point here, Allura loves her people, obviously—but she also is holding them to moral standards regarding their behavior, which is something that a genuine racist doesn’t do. As a matter of fact, Lotor is the only person of Altean blood that Allura genuinely bonds with ever again in the series. She’s distant with Romelle, she’s distant with the s8 Alteans… In s8, Allura even says this about Luca, which refers back to her own mistakes she made with initially being star-struck by the s3 AU Alteans who came in “peace”:

Allura herself had been manipulated in s3, wanting so desperately to not be the last Altean alive that it initially blinded her to how Commander Hira was manipulating her. The plight of the s8 Alteans who are deceived by Honerva is inherently frustrating to her, because she can see herself in them.

Absolutely none of this correlates with Allura seeing or perpetuating Alteans as a superior race. At every turn, her own people continue to disappoint her, and she increasingly and progressively separates herself from them in hopelessness, because they’re so brainwashed that they can’t see they’re just cannon fodder for someone else’s military agendas. Not exactly a ringing endorsement for a superior race, lol.

So let’s think about anti accusations here. Allura is a racial supremacist…but she’s arguing against her people who believe unquestionably in Honerva, another full Altean like herself? Nothing about that accusation makes sense with her actions.

The fact is, consistently from season 3 and onward, Allura is faced with her own people morally disappointing her.

The good news for the s8 Alteans like Tavo is that Allura is able to remove the dark entity Honerva is using to control him. Which allows other Alteans to “wake up” from being manipulated and try to make amends.

Regardless, Allura makes a very clear line that simply being Altean doesn’t make someone “right.” She sees herself fully at odds with her own people who are drawn in by Honerva’s lies. And she experienced well back in s2 (revealing Haggar as Honerva) and s3 (evil AU Alteans) that any given race, including her own, can house people who do bad things.

The fact is, she’s consistently and willingly drawn weapons against even her own people when they didn’t meet her moral expectations. So her response to Lotor isn’t particularly out of line there. She’s repulsed by a moral flaw.

And actually, Lotor himself wouldn’t have known this, but he very oddly echoed the AU Alteans by getting angry that Allura was angry over the means through which he was trying to get peace:

So Lotor actually reverts to the same logic of the AU Alteans—peace at any cost, just look at the results—

And keep in mind that the AU Alteans also manipulated Allura’s excitement about them, to get her to make the transreality comet usable so they could go into other realities. So Allura has felt betrayed and used before, by her own people.

So when she says this:

Yes, it’s a reference back to how Zarkon manipulated his friends in order to get access to the quintessence field, at the explicit cost of potentially killing his own people. But it’s not without understanding that yes, Alteans can be just as manipulative and betraying as Zarkon. Because she’s experienced it, again and again.  

As a matter of fact, six out of the eight seasons of Voltron: Legendary Defender feature villainous Alteans/Alteans on the wrong side of the war, and we continuously see Allura punished again and again for wishing that Alteans still lived.

No wonder she wanted to die.

This is something that I find uncomfortable about the narrative of the show. Previous iterations of Voltron did in fact have a “blood on everyone’s hands” perspective, such as within the ages 16+ Dynamic Comics. However, Arusians/Alteans in those old Voltron narratives were not victims of genocide. VLD turns Alteans into victims of the worst racial crime possible and then also consistently portrays them as inherently antagonistic to genuine peace efforts in some way, instead of focusing on the evil of the oppressors.

And this is such a double whammy for Lotor’s characters as well, given that he was abused by his parents and threatened with slavery via his Galran culture, and that he was half-Altean too trying to connect to his lost culture.

As a matter of fact, the larger show’s narrative interest in “victims as antagonists” makes it such that when we see victims try to enact actual justice, it feels almost jarring. Let’s look at that s8 Zarkon moment you brought up as an example, where Allura destroys his innocent perspective by showing him his evil deeds.

The s8 Zarkon is a weird topic because 1) This Zarkon actually doesn’t exist outside of Honerva’s mind, so how he has any kind of actual free-will is beyond me, unless someone wants to argue that Honerva actually cursed his true soul just as she cursed the other paladins. It’s hilarious too, because Honerva-mind-Zarkon also calls Honerva a psychopath, so I guess now Honerva is psychoanalyzing herself using her dead husband as the vehicle, while also discreetly helping the paladins to stop herself—

ANYWAY, using this Zarkon as a “proof” of Allura’s “racism” is also cherry picking in the weirdest of ways. Is she angry about his horrific and incalculable crimes, including even how he betrayed the OG paladins and ruined his own planet? Absolutely. Does she want him to be aware of his crimes instead of having to pretend like nothing’s wrong? Yes.

But notice here, this Zarkon actually shows remorse. He is actually crying over those memories and recognizing that he had done something wrong. And Allura can work with that. In fact, out of everyone standing around and doing nothing, it’s Allura who gives him a second chance and offers an alliance with Zarkon in order to stop a crazy Altean: 

Keep in mind too, Honerva didn’t have memory loss at the end of s8. She knew exactly what she’d done and had given up and had to actually be convinced to do anything halfway constructive. That’s a very different circumstance than mind-Zarkon had, who jumped at the chance to do something to fix what all had happened, and gets even morally righteous about it, calling his own wife a psychopath, lol.

So generally, antis who believe Allura was a racial supremacist haven’t watched the show holistically. We see her hold the same standards to her own people as she expects out of others. This show would look incredibly different if Allura were a true racial supremacist.

Ah, you ask. Okay, so we’ve refuted the big pieces of “evidence” used to incriminate Allura. But what about all of those weird details about ancient Altean history? The violent language-learning program that scared Pidge? The violent terraforming tech that almost kills Voltron? The concept that Alfor tried to play “police” over the Galra and actually blew up their planet? The Alteans’ ongoing discussions of “peace and diplomacy” and spreading it throughout the universe while they happen to sit on a massive load of ancient power?

The s3 finale and other facts throughout the series very heavily smash the claim that our canon, in-universe Alteans were evil colonizers like the AU Alteans. The biggest piece of evidence to the contrary is that the Altea we know was one (1) planet. You counted right. One planet. Not an empire, but a singular planet. The s3 finale corroborates this, showing Altea as being largely isolationist from a military perspective while Daibazaal and Nalquod warred "for generations," right in front of their salad.

So some viewers would have you believe that Alteans were these big bad, intergalactic police state colonizers. But for all of its great power and knowledge, the singular planet of Altea didn't even canonically interfere in the wars of its own galaxy for actual millennia? And looking at the screenshots upon the stabilization of the alliance, Alfor is revealed to not have had experience with a neighboring culture. His face while exploring Gyrgan’s homeworld is an indication that it’s all rather new for him too. So again, we have evidence showing that Alteans were not colonizing or even functioning as a police state.

Note here that in the s3 flashbacks, the show confirms that it actually wasn’t just Alfor who suggested an alliance. All five leaders had common interests in protecting their galaxy from even worse threats, so all five came together at the same time. This is actually the first piece of evidence we have of Altea entering into some kind of intergalactic military agreement to stave off said worse threats.

And all of this is on top of a history where in s6, the Galran Archivist confirms that the Galran Empire had existed before Zarkon for 3,000 years, with times of “expansion.” It’s very easy to see that Blaytz’s people were actively fighting off Galran occupation of their homeworld within this past.

And that’s actually what I think makes Alfor and the OG paladins some pretty interesting characters. Here, we had colonizing Galran empire setting down its sword and accepting the value and space of its neighbors. Here, we had master alchemist Alfor giving up military power within their group by acknowledging Zarkon as the superior strategist. Here, we had Blaytz who had previously been battling Galran occupation…fully accepting the Galra?   

So the OG Paladin backstory represents a pretty incredible alliance that removed a lot of intergalactic toxicity and helped heal broken bonds. But it required all five leaders to agree to that. Alfor did not throw his weight or power around within this. There were several checks and balances here.

But this backstory also helps to explain some of the quirky details about Alteans. Their planet existed within an active war zone, and it’s very likely that they’d had to fight off Galran occupation just as Blaytz’s people did. So the violent robot trainers and fear-based language learning systems start to make sense. Alteans weren’t just simpering people playing harps all day and eating grapes. They were actively prepared to defend their planet and their culture.

So when Allura says in season 1 that Alteans were “spreading diplomacy” across the universe, the only pieces of evidence we have of that is the OG paladins themselves, in which Alfor was a big part in creating that alliance—and then possibly the Alteans with the Balmerans, given their deep collective rituals with that planet while the Galra literally just came in and ripped the planet nearly to death. Allura tries to mimic what it means to accept and interact with a culture without changing it well in season 1, when she stumbles through trying to respect Arusian culture and its demands on its people. Also, there is a big fact that antis like to overlook:

The fact is, despite the untold numbers of civilizations we interact with across 76 episodes, no outside race remembers Alteans as evil colonizers. If they were really so big and bad, we would have heard it, like, “Man, yeah the Galrans are bad. Just as bad as those Alteans, back in the day.” Or something. But nope, nothing.

So I heavily question the history of Altea as an ancient colonizing race. If they were, then Altea wouldn't have just been a single planet with limited resources to fight wars in even its own galaxy. All of this supports the idea of Altean children being raised to fight--because they were preparing to defend themselves when/if diplomacy fails.... But the fact that the Balmerans see Alteans fondly and that literally every other race we run into is explicitly suspicious of Galrans and not at all of Alteans says something.

I think the only piece of evidence there might be for a genuinely colonizing ancient Altea is the use of terraforming technology, as mentioned in s4. Haggar discovers it and activates it to try and kill Voltron--and she nearly succeeds, because said tech destroys the entire crust of the planet to reform it. But you have to step back for a second and wonder--if ancient Alteans were so powerful, why was Alfor struggling so hard to even hold his own planet together in the midst of all these other cultures warring and larger threats? If they had this technology--and they did know about it because Allura recognized it right away as ancient technology--why the heck wouldn't they use it? Or were they using it, and it was to reform uninhabited planets to help sustain displaced peoples? Why is it, if Alteans were so terribly bad, we have no record across ANY of the many alien races being cautious of them? Even Galran Lieutenant Lahn snapped at Allura only because he was jealous of the general security she had back on, you guessed it, explicitly Altea. There's a lot of potential explanations for a positive use of terraforming technology, and the evidence against colonization and Altea committing omnicide against other races is incredibly more aligned with the other details in the canon.

And even Alfor’s creation of Voltron and the blowing up of Daibazaal—that’s something that antis like to position as evidence of his police-state ways to underhandedly control other cultures.

So let’s tackle those too while we’re at it.

Honestly, I know people like to hate on Alfor, and I do think his character picks up some misogynism just from the writers....But I don't think he was as much of a controller as people think he was. He was already in an alliance with four other leaders to try and stop bad things from happening in their galaxy. That meant they were expending incredible amounts of time and resources to accomplish that end—resources that were not renewable and may have been straining various planets. We know that he started building Voltron with Zarkon and everyone else's blessing because he called them "clean ships," but it's only after the rift creatures attack that suddenly Alfor's perception of Voltron moves from "clean energy" to "omg we need a more powerful weapon against this unknown enemy.”

So these are his intentions BEFORE he discovers rift creatures are a threat to the universe. While Zarkon states that these new ships are to be endlessly powerful for the Galra Empire, Alfor shames him by offering what his desire is for them:

  After the rift creatures nearly destroy Daibazaal, intentions change.

So here, we see the game change in a BIG way. Voltron is not just about offering a more renewable way of sustaining peace-keeping efforts. Alfor is now adjusting and finishing these ships with the explicit knowledge that if they are not powerful enough, then Daibazaal and the Galran people will die. Alfor’s got a LOT of pressure on him now to deliver a mighty and powerful weapon to stop this new threat. So even his creation of Voltron as a superweapon involved using it to protect people from imminent death—not to police them.

And about Alfor blowing up Daibazaal—once again, it’s Alfor trying to clean up Honerva and Zarkon’s mess. Honerva had convinced Zarkon that the rift needed to be wider, and so Zarkon deceived the paladins into widening it.

So keep in mind here, at this point in time—the rift was destabilizing and eating an entire planet. The entire universe was now at stake. Alfor had to choose between a bad fix and an even worse option of allowing everyone to die, but he very clearly evacuated people before destroying Daibazaal, as part of his promise to keep Galrans safe. So that no one would have to die.

And as a matter of fact—about that terraforming technology. How sure are you that Alfor didn’t intend to use it to build Galrans a new home? It’s entirely within the realm of acceptable conjecture that he allowed for the existence of that technology because it could restore what had been lost.

And here’s where the story gets really screwy and feeds into some anti hate. Because when Zarkon wakes up as a zombie, he desires more quintessence as zombies do.

So he’s pissed that Alfor just cut off his gateway, and he manipulates his people:

And it’s here where we get the idea that Alfor was an evil controller. The idea came from Zarkon, who—we can look around pretty easily and see that he was not a man of honor, ultimately. Even if you chose to not believe the s3 finale flashbacks as being objective, there’s something wrong with Zarkon. (It’s clear that the show thought using Coran was a smart way to shell off massive amounts of info, because clearly if this were truly in Coran’s perspective, we would NOT have had intimate looks into Zarkon and Honerva’s bedroom as Zarkon is tending to her, like omg.) Numerous sources, histories, and cultures outside of Coran confirm that Zarkon hit a point of no return on the evil scale, and that he projected his own blame for Daibazaal’s destabilization onto Alfor in order to raise up his new regime in the name of Quintessence™.

So at the end of the day, even Alfor was a victim. But yet somehow, various antis choose to believe Zarkon’s victim-punishing narrative because said antis can’t or else refuse to connect one scene to another since it undermines their justifications for why they can hate on Allura. And that’s not so much an issue with the story itself as it is just poor critical analysis or malicious weaponization of content against other fans.

Now, at this point, we’ve talked about Allura and we’ve talked about Altean history. I have numerous other posts about Allura’s interactions with other races and Galrans and overcoming trauma to give the entire universe a second chance. So if there is anything in this show that suggests Alteans were in any way a superior race, then it’s probably within the show’s own worldbuilding. The show contradicts its own definitions of what quintessence even is by suggesting Alteans have “bluer/purer quintessence” in order to justify why Lotor would even be trying to sacrifice them for anything. The show-championed concept that Alteans have a bluer, purer life force above all other people, and that only Altean energy could interface with the fabric of space-time. Now, this is a problem in the later seasons’ world building itself. And you know who wrote that in? The production team. So once again, we do have racial issues in this show, in ways that shows like Star Wars desperately try avoid by showing racial diversity in who has Midi-chlorians.

That said, I’m not a perfectly woke storyteller either. I think every story and show is going to have something problematic™, but with VLD it’s very clear that its disrespectful handling of genocide politics and shatterglass conspiracy theories, on top of its weird master race angle created the perfect storm. These mishandled and quirky details have created a cognitive dissonance with the provided narrative, resulting in some people in the anti fandoms to champion what aligns very closely to actual neo-Nazi propaganda against Jews, who according to them are not victims but instead the true perpetrators of all bad things. For the sake of the antis, I’m pretty sure they’re not intentionally looking at VLD this way and are probably just looking for any easily graspable reason to hate on Allura for interfering with their ship or something.

But this kind of subliminal propaganda that undermines victims, and the effect it has had on fandom morality politics, is deeply concerning to me. I really wish that we’d had an opportunity to respectfully and critically discuss this with the production team of the show, because a Y7-FV show about “strength in unity” should NOT result in us needing to have a conversation about people walking away with neo-Nazi-ish propaganda sentiments against genocide survivors. Like. Clearly, VLD is fictional, but it’s feeding into a real-life beast that it does NOT need to feed. And it’s keeping alive ongoing conspiracy narratives against some of our most vulnerable populations on the planet.

So, we need better stories. We need a production team that, if they’re going to get paid to do something involving portrayals of genocide and politics, that they need to do their research on those topics. Nobody is going to be perfect with a creation, but VLD validated some very damaging things—and it ALL is something that could have been fixable. I think it would have been incredibly validating to hear the production talk about and accept that these were issues that cropped up unintentionally, and to hear them confirm that these issues are not the sorts of things that VLD was supposed to champion.

The greatest tragedy of all of this is the potential that this show had to really champion some great and validating messages, and the potential that we as a fandom had to come together and do something that fandom was meant to do—which was celebrate the things we love. Because that’s why we’re all here. That’s why this crazy tumblr of mine even exists. It was supposed to celebrate things.

For that reason, I’m going to end this here. I’ve written several responses now as to my thoughts on the inappropriate narrative lens of the show, its contradictory and damaging worldbuilding about the purest race, and how it champions demonizing or punishing genocide survivors again and again. Within all of that, I’ve talked at length about Allura’s character and behavior over 8 seasons and how she built even empathetic connections with militant Galrans like Commander Lahn. In fact even her own homesickness is how she emotionally connects with Lahn, because she understands that desire to call something one’s own. To have a home. A family.

I now really would like to get back to writing stories that I find meaningful to me using these characters and these worlds—and trying to find the hope in all of this darkness, haha. And maybe with any luck, I can hope to do VLD some justice, knowing that I am still on a learning journey as well.

But I appreciate your note, and I hope this very extensive response helps to settle your questions and concerns once and for all regarding VLD Allura. If you should have any remaining questions, please feel free to reach out via a private message to discuss. Thank you!

[arpwrites]

arpu, how can we connect to our intuition? i know some say "meditate" but my mind is not calm and my butt itches most of the time. i cant stay still

this is actually perfect timing because I’m feeling the same way so helping you is also going to help myself 🌞✊🏽divine timing fr ✨

okay the goal is to get your mind to stop double checking every thought you have. we’re wired to check the veracity of our thoughts and discard ‘nonsense’ that comes from ‘nowhere.’ the subconscious mind kills it before we’re even aware of it. it goes back to the renaissance/age of reason where the scientific method (that was developed largely by muslim/arab scholars btw!) was heralded and factuality became an important component of clear, rational, logical, good thinking. it’s what you’re taught in school now and what is prized in technological societies.

so, we need to let the brain know it’s okay (and encouraged!) to have thoughts where the source of origin is unimportant. fun story: I accidentally did this when I read Einstein didn’t remember anything that could be looked up. this integrated itself into my worldview very deeply very quickly and I found myself remembering only interesting things without remembering or caring what the source was. didn’t help when I couldn’t pull stats out of my ass while arguing with someone, but did wonders for my intuition.

we can do this through repetitive activities where conscious thinking becomes irrelevant and/or you assign importance to ‘nonsense’ thoughts. this is the core of meditation too if you think about it – its about focusing on a single thing and acknowledging thoughts but not involving yourself in them. these activities will calm your mind in a similar way to meditation and also help your restless ass lol

morning pages!!  I personally do this and I love it, it’s helped me grow immensely, I highly recommend it. when you write down every single thing in your head and just empty it out without stopping to consider its worthiness, you are telling your brain every thought is equally important and more of the subconscious intuition comes through to the surface.

random associations!!!!! let your mind wander

play this game with your friend!

pacing! I do this a lot, there’s an origin story if you’re interested lol but the main idea is this: put on music you’ve never heard before and walk really fast and/or run till you can’t think bc you’re barely able to breathe. focus on the music and let your mind wander and go wherever the music takes it. soon thoughts that are completely unrelated will pop up and though they really are nonsense in the beginning, keep encouraging it and u can tell when they eventually have truth to them

dancing! focus on nothing but the music and go crazy. doesn’t matter what kind but fast paced usually works better. don’t think about how to dance, think about it as the music controlling your body! you stop thinking and in that space, u can listen to the under-thoughts that usually go unnoticed

tbh, any activity u enjoy that takes up a lot of your focus + peripheral wandering thoughts. gardening! cutting 1000 stickers by hand! copying a textbook so u study and develop your intuition at the same time! there’s a lot of ways to integrate it into your daily life once u know what it feels like. this is pseudo meditation too btw. 

overthink!!!!!!!!!! I loved doing this as I drove to uni every day lol. i’m not saying to distract yourself while driving! safety is most important!! but after the 100th time I drove the same route, I became a pro at it and my lizard brain took over. it didn’t need my thinking brain to drive. so I thought and thought uncontrollably and my thoughts got more nonsensical and irrelevant and there was no connection and like I said before, they were ridiculous at first. just my fears coming through. but then they started having truth to them and I started getting information about the universe and our purpose etc. etc. I think I had the most breakthrough intuitions while I was in that daze. I could predict things really accurately, it was spooky. I recommend this but its a double edged sword bc overthinking doesn’t help have a happy, healthy life. use it as a stepping stone and don’t! drive!! while u do it. pace instead or pour it into a private tumblr.

also! give importance to these random associations/thoughts! document them or record them however you can. write them down, text it to yourself. this tells your brain they’re valuable and encourages their production

dream journal!! do it first thing as soon as u wake up. and within a week or so you can reliably remember a loooooot of what happens and it also helps lucid dreaming actually. since dreams are nonsense anyway, repeated action tells the brain to encourage these types of thoughts and voila! intuition developed in daily life!

you have to Want it! your intentions create another layer of under-wiring in your brain that grows stronger with use and influences the overall synaptic network esp. the parts that control which thoughts are important and not. so start being curious! let things like trying to make predictions and having super powers take up space in your brain! try and guess things before they happen or guess what random strangers are about to do or predict the score you’ll get on a test. the more you do it, the more u tell your brain this is an Important Activity and then it builds the required ‘code’ to make that function run better. you’ll be completely off in the beginning but then slowly your success rate will climb.

like anything in life, you’ll get a lot better with practice. even if what i’m saying sounds like nonsense rn, try it a few times and you’ll see what I mean. btw, you don’t have to stick to a single method!! switch them around, everything counts as +1. you aren’t starting from zero with every new technique.

these should be enough for you to get a head start! if none of them work, let me know a bit about yourself and I can probably come up with more methods custom made for you~

also, this old post I wrote about meditation might help 🌞

good luck!!!!! hope you have as much fun as I did discovering your spiritual side 🌝💖

edit – special anon message for you: For meditation anon: There's a common misconception that meditation requires you to "quiet your mind" and disallow it to wonder, but really, it's more about getting into a flow state where you allow your thoughts to come and go with ease. It's mindfulness more than anything imo, acknowledging the thoughts but bringing yourself to a point where you aren't questioning/over-analyzing and thus reacting emotionally to them (like you ordinarily would throughout the day). It's okay to get distracted by your external environment or physical sensations, because you definitely WILL as a beginner, and still at times even if you're more advanced. It all comes down to practice, and the point is to train your mind, so any time you lose focus - Don't let it discourage you. Let it be a teacher of sorts. Refocus and try again. As you progress, you'll be less likely to get out of focus. Sitting isn't for everyone, definitely try things Arp mentioned, like walking!

[lexosaurus]

Do you ever feel lonely being asexual? I feel like none of my friends understand what it's like and it's so isolating and terrifying and I feel do broken. Have you ever felt this way? How do you handle it? Sorry if this is too personal.

Hey anon! I hope you’re okay! I also hope you’re ready for a long post because that’s what this turned out to be!

Firstly, you are NOT alone. I think every ace feels this way at somepoint or another. It’s super common, especially since there really aren’t many out-aces, there’s virtually no actually helpful resources out there for aces, and most people legit have never heard of asexuality or believe it to be something that can be cured either through sexual acts or medication. The fact of the matter is, that being asexual is very much an isolating experience and it can be really really hard to become comfortable with.

For me, I grew up in a conservative town in a liberal state. So while no one was outwardly aggressive towards lgbt people which gave me a false sense of security, coming out was ROUGH. I lost all of my friends to the point where in highschool I wasn’t allowed in a party that everyone else in my grade went to, I got in a massive fight with my mom and ended up having to move out for a few weeks (don’t worry, we’re super close now), and I ended up going back in the closet which only ended up with me being coerced into having sex a bunch until I finally reached my breaking point. I realized I had to figure this out or I was gonna lose it.

Moving away from that environment was probably one of the main ways that I was able to start feeling okay. I moved to a nearby city, dropped all my old friends, made new ones, joined new activities, etc etc. I made sure my new friends knew I was ace pretty much right away, but I didn’t really talk about it past the casual, “Yeah, I’m asexual. I’ll date anyone but I won’t have sex with anyone. It hurts my body and I don’t like it.” and then that was it. I mean, I answered the inevitable questions that followed as if no, they weren’t dumb questions or invasive, even if maybe deep down I thought they were. But other than that it was just a casual mention, made sure they were chill with it, and then moved on.

And knowing that my friends were totally 100% okay with me being ace was like the best thing ever. They don’t UNDERSTAND being asexual on a deep level, (not even now after 3 years of living together), but I don’t understand how their sexualities function on that deep level either. It’s a two way street. And sometimes with people I’ll even ask them, “Okay but how do you KNOW that you like like someone like that?” and then they’ll have to take a step back and be like, “Oh shit, I guess it’s just innate. Oh damn I’ve never thought about this. Huh. Wtf.” You know, just showing curiosity in their feelings and showing that it’s okay to ask “obvious” questions really does a lot.

But tbh, my friends and I now will talk music or memes way before we’ll talk lgbt stuff. And half my friends are lgbt too. I just chose new friends who I connected and related to on deep levels that had nothing to do with sexuality at all.

The second big thing I did, and this is gonna sound counter-productive, was I unfollowed every ace-centered blog on Tumblr. No joke. I went through my followers and unfollowed EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. I found that a lot of ace blogs, even ace-positive blogs, made me feel good for a second when I saw those ace-positive posts, but in the long run they ended up being really detrimental. Thinking about asexuality like something that needs constant validation is not healthy, no matter how positively it’s presented.

I was in a place where being asexual wasn’t normal in my head and I needed to normalize it, not validate it. Because validating asexuality comes AFTER normalizing it, not the other way around. So I needed to not constantly think about it or read about it or see it all the time. I needed to just watch it casually in modern media (aka watch Bojack Horseman and Saiki K on Netflix), talk about it with REAL PEOPLE irl in casual conversation occasionally, and just in general start looking at it like something as normal and mundane as my brown hair or dark eyes. Asexuality isn’t special, it’s not cool, it’s not sad either, it’s just another normal thing that contributes to me as a person.

So now when a follower reblogs an ace-positive post, I feel good. Like truly good. Not that fleeting good that will disappear in 30 secs and remind me that “oh yeah, there are a lot of people out there that hate aces.” I just get an occasional reminder that, “Oh yeah! I’m ace! Nice! I’m dope af!” 

But being asexual isn’t like in my “top 5 qualities” list. I don’t write my bios and put my asexuality at the top of my “about me.” In fact, I don’t even think i wrote that im asexual in my about me on tumblr lol. It’s not that I don’t like asexuality, it’s just so normal to me I’m just kinda like “oh yeah im ace. i have dark eyes. and 10 fingers. surprise! Okay now back to the good stuff…”

Also, a bit of a sidetrack, but that “everyone’s valid” culture on tumblr is actually super toxic and not good. And so getting away from that is v helpful to your mental health.

The last thing that I did that helped me a lot was actually a bit of a coincidence but I met a girl irl who was my coworker who happened to be asexual too. We worked together for like a year, we totally vibed and started hanging out together a ton, and then one day out of the blue she was like “yeah I’m pretty sure I’m ace too.” It was super dope and just having that one person that I could relate to like that who I also truly enjoyed hanging out with was like a breath of fresh air.

Finding a fellow ace irl that you vibe with can be tough. She wasn’t the first ace that I’d met, but I tend to be a rather blunt person and the previous aces I’d met were all through my school’s lgbt club and they tended to be,,,sensitive,,,(told me i was ableist because I talk loudly and my loud voice was insensitive to their sensory disorders like bitch i’ve got hearing problems i can’t solve but you CAN buy earplugs so lol thank u next byeee),,,BUT I DIGRESS, chill aces are hard to find but finding that one person is so nice. But I should say I was pretty much comfortable with being ace at that point. That was kind of the cherry on top. So if this isn’t available to you, which it doesn’t sound like it is, that’s okay. There are other things you can do in the meantime.

Also, I do have to add that much of the phandom happens to be asexual. Idk how that happened but it did.  So if you ever wanna talk ace-things, I’m sure so many people on here would be DOWN to talk ace stuff. I’ve done it before, it’s fun. They’re all rlly nice.

So yeah that was pretty much how I got from a place where I was so defeated about being ace from pretty much everyone around me to now I’m totally comfortable and normal with it to the point where I have turned several homophobes into lgbt-supporters because “fuck, Lexx is so chill and we vibe so hard but she’s lgbt??? i really like her as a person but she’s bi and ace??? hhhhhh,..,,,,i guess lgbt people are cool idk man ya wow ok.” (Legit one of these homophobes sent me screenshots a few months back where some kid was calling me a slur like on instagram or something and he was like “What, you mad cuz she won’t sleep with you? Get a life.” it was sweet 😊)

[alo-piss-trancy]

What would be some Grell omorashi headcanons?

Quick Note: I tend to use she/her for Gr/ell and hc her as a tra/ns wo/man, but I also understand between canon sources, non-canon char interviews, author intentions, dif cultural views, The time period the canon takes place in vs. The year the media was published vs. Our current time now changing views/terms, it's ALL a giant clustertruck question mark blob. So feel free to hc Gre/ll differently, be that a very feminine ga/y man or b/i or nonb/inary or whatever, I genuinely don't mind how anyone hcs characters and fan content does not affect my enjoyment of canon in any way. I'm never gonna pick fights and claim somebody's playing with their imaginary Barbie wrong lmao, kindergarteners know better than that

Now to the actual ask:

ANON I LOVE YOU!!! Gr/ell is one of my fav chars EVER but I never get to talk about her hhhhh ❤❤❤

I've had 8 dang years to think about this so enjoy a varied selection 😼 I'm sorry in advance bc half of these are very lemony oops

General:

* Reapers have stronger bladders than humans (in terms of capacity/general strength), but they're still much weaker than a demon's (goes for all bodily functions tbh. Demons don't really have any, the only reason they would need to go is if they chose to partake in occasional food/drink, and could easily hold it for weeks or even months at a time). A reaper can probably hang in there with a full bladder for a day or two if very determined, less if they've had any strong diuretics/alcohol (I imagine the humans' stuff is p weak tho and barely gets them buzzed).

* Gr/ell's bladder is stronger than a newbie like Ro/nald's, but weaker than someone like W/ill's. Mostly bc she's frequently drinking unhealthy stuff and has no problem up and ditching to pee as soon as she's tired of waiting.

* Not bladdershy in the slightest, and not dysp/horic either. (While she wants a womb/too look more womanly, she also seems fairly content with her body and even takes pride in it in several scenes.) The only time I could see her getting nervous/locking up is if she had a really bad day or felt extra self-conscious, and it wouldn't be a very severe condition.

* She doesn't like going in weird/gross places because she is a Beautiful Lady With Standards, thank you very much. If she has absolutely no choice she'll suck it up and pee in an alley like the commoner humans, but she will complain about it for the next few years at every opportunity.

* That being said she's also a huge hypocrite, and if the situation was reversed would immediately snap at someone like W/ill or Ro/nald to just go in the alley already instead of failing to hide their desperation on the job. You bunch of damn babies, grow a pair.

* If she needs to be serious/doesn't want ppl to know, she can hide desperation fairly well (a little clumsy/flushed and sweaty, but that could be mistaken as her normal goofy behavior), masking how bad it really is until she's a minute from wetting herself.

* If she doesn't care and wants to complain though, she's obvious af. Whines and gripes the whole time, full-blown potty dance to garner sympathy, legs crossed and bouncing, everything. By the time she gets to the suspiciously e/rotic moans ppl usually hurry to find her a bathroom/yell at her to leave lol

* There have definitely been times when Gre/ll used going to the bathroom as an excuse to ditch work for a LONG time or took many frequent smaller breaks to do her nails/read magazines/flirt with Seb, etc. Needless to say, this backfires terribly the one time she actually does have to go because W/illiam definitely isn't putting up with her bs no matter how much she begs or squirms. He's even madder at her when he realizes he'll have to clean the floor. If she wasn't so mad/embarrassed herself, she'd have taken joy in his karma and gladly told him to suck her d/ick.

* That's def not the first time W/ill's seen her desperate or piss herself. As young stud reapers in training I guarantee G/rell got shitfaced at company parties on more than one occasion (or just went out drinking the night before work on a weekday lol). Frequently showed up for field work having to pee every other hour and driving him nuts c':

* She and Ma/dame Red definitely fooled around a couple of times (she's the only woman Gr/ell's ever been attracted to) . Maybe Gr/ell already had the kink and brought it up, or maybe Red saw Gr/ell squirming and asked (insisted) she let her watch until she lost control, but either way things got dirty real quick lmao. Red slapped a demon's ass in the same room as her nephew, she's dom AF (and inappropriate lmao). G/rell's a giant masochist/sadist combo. Do the math 👀👌💯

* I personally love the concept of her ending up desperate after inviting herself along and crashing one of C/iel and Seb/astian's missions and just being miserable the whole time trying to hide it. Because she def can't embarrass herself in front of B/assy, but even worse she will NOT prove she has to take a potty break before some human kid. Naturally, C/iel being the complete brat and posessive bitch he is, immediately picks up on her predicament and torments her the whole time/makes a fool of her without letting Seb know the real issue. She can't lay a finger on him because she'd be Dead and she can't whine for B/assy to get him to stop bc that would mean explaining her problem so it just keeps escalating in comedic fashion. (This isn't even an omo hc really sorry lol, I just love any plot with those two bickering like petty babies as rivals for Seb's attention, even better if Ci/el consistently pulls one over on her and is the more mature one. You killed my aunt and then tried to steal my butler, Get Rekt Bitch )

* In any aus where she isn't hooking up with Red or trying to get Seb, I ship her hard with Un/dertaker (they're my otp actually don't judge me). In those he's actually the one with a massive piss kink and she's weirded tf out at first, but I mean if ur bf already eats dog biscuits and sleeps in a coffin u can probs learn to live with it. She indulges him periodically and he spoils her rotten afterwards. (I actually had several fic ideas for those two back in the day. One day maybe I'll finally get around to it).

* No matter what she draws a hard line at drinking it. No thank you. Golden showers are a maybe but they better have some gr8 shampoo to scrub her luxurious hair with afterwards.

* Wetting herself in that too small choir outfit from s1 that basically made short shorts and a crop top? P l e a s e

Dom G/rell:

* Has totally tried to pin Seb down/trap him somewhere and use his increasing desperation as leverage to get what she wants since he's too proper to wet himself. It probably doesn't work bc he's crafty and also could just throw her across the room, but u know. Points for trying.

* When someone lets her dom them willingly she's an absolutely sadistic fiend. W/ill completely torment them until they're begging and broken, and they have to pleasure her first before she'll show any mercy and allow them to let go. That said, she's got an almost sweet tone to anything she says and is very affectionate the whole time. It's a dichotomy that leaves any subs an absolute wreck. Her absolute fav part is watching ppl squirm and start to leak, it's cute.

* She also likes doing the whole fake sympathy play, where everything nice she says makes it 20x worse for the sub. Poor babies ❤

* Making out so they can't say anything no matter how desperate they are, just writhing underneath her with their whimpers muffled in her mouth? Perfection.

* Slowly pressing her boot into someone's abdomen is her signature move.

Sub Gr/ell:

* Loves the whole humiliation aspect and being all squirmy and nervous in front of (S/EBASTIAN) people, struggling to hide her problems and act casual but knowing her face is flushed red.

* When it gets really bad she gets super whiny and submissive, whimpering and moaning and really playing up the vulnerable aspect. Look how pitiful she is, it would be oh so easy for them to have their way with her~ (and then she bats her eyelashes and they just glare ajdkgk stop fucking around G/rell this is a Serious Scene we talked about this before we started)

* Sometimes she does public holds or gets desperate before a mission/visit just so she can see how long she can get away with it before she has to cave/people get suspicious. It's k/inky, exh/ibitionist, and oh so delicious~

* Lives for (S/EBASTIAN) the dom to get mad and disappointed in her, verbally berating her for not being more composed and embarrassing them in public, manhandling her as she's dragged somewhere more secluded to get ahold of herself, being teased and poked and prodded all while they're sneering in her ear. She wants to feel like the dirtiest, most ashamed and nervous person alive for such a simple need, knowing it's going to come out eventually no matter how hard she tries to be Good, having to beg and plead with teary eyes only to be denied access to the bathroom and told to suck it up and hold it.

* She really liked her original disguise/persona from the Ma/dame Red Days for this exact reason. Could be as shy and stuttery as possible and really play it up, got bossed around/teased by everyone, it was great. Totally got desperate once or twice so 'he' could beg Seb/astian to use the manor bathroom and get pitied. If he 'tripped' and just so happened to lose control and start crying, well, that couldn't be helped...

[peachymess]

1/2 Peachy I would love your opinion on a post I came across. Spoiler warning.... The post goes over Armin's crying scene, they say that Armin was actually moved my Yelena's words and how Armin has changed for the worst over the years. How he just wants to sit and talk etc...ah I wish I could link u the post on this. It's in the Armin tag and it's a recent post. I would love your feed back on that. I'm just kinda paranoid and worried for Armin, I could see him actually being moved by those words

2/2 to find the post the title is “Armin was pretending to fool yellena”?“ I kinda worry for him, I seen a lot of theories that he’s faking it or that his emotions were real but what came out of his mouth was a lie. I also saw your post that another Anon asked over Armin’s crying and that could also be it. Reading your post I kinda got reminded of how Armin has lied to Bert on Annie and also lied to the female Titan of crushing his best friend to distract her.

Hi, anon. I’m sorry; I really wanted to write a thorough meta for this, but I simply don’t have the time. I got this on my way to work yesterday evening, and today will consist of packing until I’m picked up to head to the family cabin (no net there; only on phone). I’ll be staying there till the 22nd of April, and I’ll be busy until the 25th. I would have saved the asks and replied once I’m back, had the topic not had a, probably, short expiration date. Meaning, I assume you’ve probably either landed on something, or there’s just a few days until a new chapter might give further answers, by the time I can actually get to it. However, if, at the end of April, you still wonder, feel free to ask me again about this topic. You’re right, I already gave a general reply, and I’ll give another. If I write another, deeper diving meta about this, it will only be to build up under the thoughts and arguments I have already given. Because, short answer to all of this is: I believe Armin is faking it, in hopes of getting an upper hand out of it. Armin has faked stuff and played on emotions like this before. He lied about Annie to reach Bert (and Reiner’s) emotions twice, he played on Eren’s trust in him during the Return arc - so that Eren wouldn’t catch on to his plan of self-sacrifice (if you don’t remember, Armin knew Eren wouldn’t go along with the plan if he told him the planned endgame, so the moment Eren started to ask himself what Armin was getting at, Armin pulls the “I’ll back out before I get too hurt, I promise; would I ever lie to you?”), he withheld the planned endgame from Jean and Mikasa for the same reason (aka, he knew their emotions could get in the way of them allowing him to sacrifice himself), he woke Eren twice from titan from by appealing to their dream (emotions) - the second time even when he thought he wouldn’t see it (read: he thought to himself “if this plan works, I’ll probably never see the ocean”, and then stabs Eren in the neck and says “Eren, wake up, we’re going to see the ocean”; lied). He also sweet-talked Annie into helping him, by talking about good vs bad people, and how she’d be a bad person to him if she didn’t help him - because we’re all human, and we have an instinctual need to be liked by others (especially if we like or respect the person in question, which Annie did). Armin also lied about his best friend been crushed under her foot, to (among other things) save Jean’s life; by faking his emotional distress over seeing his friend dead - as in, using emotional manipulation. 

My point is, Armin understands people’s emotions very well, he analyses situations well. He knows how to use that to his advantage. If he is faking it with Yelena, it would not only be “in character”, it would be textbook Armin. Even more textbook Armin, than him being generally moved to tears by words. I haven’t looked into what exactly it is Yelena says yet, but by word of mouth, she talks about their work being remembered past their own deaths (among other things). Armin doesn’t want/need to be remembered. You have to think about what his goals and desires are. He doesn’t want bloodshed. He would want every single person to live, if there was a way for it. Even if what they do gets remembered for centuries, do you think he’d be happy if what they did, was to commit genocide? 

Again, I don’t know Yelena’s stance in detail, nor her words to Armin, but I know their positions pre-116: opposite sides. Words will not sway Armin from one to the other. He has an analytical mind, and he has thought about both sides already, from many angles, I am sure. He has picked the side he morally believes in. And because he has thought about it thoroughly, I doubt that simply phrasing the (in his mind) “wrong side” in a certain way, will suddenly convince him to agree with it. If people, words or emotional appeal would convince him, don’t you think his best friend would have been able to get him on board these past 4 years? Armin and Eren are torn because their morals have garnered considerable distance to one another (or so it seems), and Armin will rather uphold his morals than break bread with someone over a treasured friendship (and before anyone goes after Armin for that, remember it takes two to tango; the exact same could be said about Eren).

What more, think about the story aspect of this. Firstly, what was the point of the scene? What was the point of showing Armin getting on Yelena’s good side? Either it’s to show Armin’s development into being a Zeke-follower - but if that isn’t it (which I don’t believe), then the point was that Armin having Yelena around his little finger, will become an asset to him later. He can use it to influence her choices/actions, to free his friends, etc. Where would the story take him, if Isayama makes Armin suddenly side with Yelena? It looks like a dead end to me, especially this late in the game. What will happen next, if Armin goes over to Yelena/Zeke’s side? Eren is gonna throw Zeke a curveball, which means the parties will split into three (if not more). This would leave Armin (still) opposite to Eren, but also opposite to Mikasa. Which would make it finally easy(er) for Mikasa to go against Armin over Eren. And after Mikasa reluctantly sides with Eren to take down Armin, who becomes a side of his own, then what…? We return to Eren vs SC, just like before? A dead-end loop. Of course, there’s a lot of room here, and I honestly won’t pretend to know what the future of this story holds. I will, however, trust my knowledge of Armin enough to say I highly doubt that Armin is being moved to tears over some fanatic’s words. It’s all about motivation here. I already mentioned it, but that’s because it’s such an important thing to look at. You cry when something resonates with you. What about Yelena’s words, would resonate with Armin’s ultimate goals? 

… Because his goals are the same today, as they’ve always been: as much peace as possible, for the smallest price possible. I’m still eager to hear him talk about his dream (ocean, northern lights, etc.) again, just to see where his stance is on that now (it’s the only part of him I won’t confidently guess at), but that’s somewhat irrelevant right now. The point I’m trying to get to is this: Armin hasn’t changed for the worse. He hasn’t changed at all. What has changed, is Eren’s opinion on Armin and his ideals. Before, Eren admired him, now he’s impatient with him. I don’t think I heard anyone talking about Armin’s morals changed, before Eren brought it up at the round table. Because Armin hasn’t changed; what Eren said, he said (either) because he’s convinced himself of it, and (or) because he wanted Armin to start doubting his own mind/motivations. Armin’s strength is his mind, and as long as he thinks he can trust his own judgement, he will be solidly in place (as he has been for 4 years). Topple that confidence, and he might finally, possibly be susceptible to manipulation. That would be to Eren’s great benefit. I think that’s part of why he said it. But he’s wrong either way. And I think that went over parts of the fandom’s heads. 

Because whether Armin has Bertolt’s memories or not, he is still himself. If all the shifters were just an empty shell of the shifter that came before them, then Bertolt wasn’t himself either; he would in turn have been the shell of the previous one, who was a shell of the one before him, etc. Even with shifter influence, that function only works, if it’s at most partial (except for, possibly, exceptions under special circumstances that Armin don’t meet). Look at all the shifters; there is enough evidence to say with certainty, that they are to some degree their own person, with wishes and feelings connected specifically to them. Things from previous people might be added, but not everything from the pre-shifter holder is taken away. Just look at the BRA chemistry: Reiner and Bertolt are friends, and Annie is going “meh” on the sideline. Fat chance the original colossal, armored and female had the exact same dynamic as the BRA trio had pre-shifters, yet they are the same trio before and after becoming shifters.

Armin has tried to talk things out with the enemy before. He tried to talk to Bertolt in the return arc, he tried to talk to Bert and Reiner when they were running away. He generally wants to understand the enemy, and for them to in turn understand him. He believes that if they can find common understanding, they can find common ground. Him wanting to build bridges with the other countries has nothing to do with Bertolt’s memories, and it is not something he “wouldn’t have wanted before”. Remember how upset he was when he shot the MP lady? She was an enemy, but he was still so distraught he puked and cried his heart out. Remember in the return arc when they blew Reiner to bits (one of several times, lol)? Armin looks at him, tears in eyes, and expresses that he is heartbroken that it had to come to that because there was no room for talking. He explicitly mentions how he regrets that they weren’t able to talk it out. Armin Arlert has always wanted to pursue the most peaceful solutions! This is not new! And I was going to dedicate a large chunk on my meta just for this, but sadly, I don’t have the time. I have talked about this many, many times; talked about how he’s not a pacifist, as some claim he is, because he is not - but that he, instead, feels like they have a duty to make sure the violent option they choose, is still the least violent option. He would let a thousand men die if it meant saving the rest of the world. But not before he is confident that there isn’t a way to sacrifice only a hundred for the same outcome! 

1. Zeke and Yelena’s plan is to kill probably several thousands, to save the rest of the world. Armin thinks they can save the world by sacrificing considerably less than several thousands. That is why, no matter how pretty Yelena makes it sound, her plan will never move Armin to tears. 

2. Armin’s morals have not changed; he’s always wanted to save as many people as possible and to get as far as he can with communication. His first line in this damn story is about how if you abandon arguments and resort to violence instead, it means you’re in the wrong. 

3. … Yet he’s not a pacifist. When there is no other solution, he will restore to violence. Eren forced his hand with Marley, and what did Armin do? He didn’t stand passively by; he did the only thing that was left to do to proceed: blow up the harbor. When Jean was about to get shot, what did he do? He shot that MP in the face. He doesn’t like violence, and he wants to avoid it as much as possible, but he recognizes that if communication doesn’t get you all the way, violence will cover the rest. However, he feels that they all have a duty to exhaust all possibilities before turning to violence (”the end justifies the means - if you were mindful of the means”). That is why he and Eren now differs: Armin feels that Eren is no longer attempting to look for less horrific means, and instead going for the first thing plan that comes to mind. And it’s making Armin question his morals; if Eren truly cared about everyone, would he not also - just like Armin - desire to spend at least some time to think and analyze, and test the waters of less horrific plans? Eren, on the other hand, seems to feel pressed for time, and has no patience for Armin’s “lingering”, and thus grows angry and refuses to put himself in Armin’s shoes to try and understand why he “lingers” against the enemy. Pick what side you want, but Eren is wrong in the way he sees Armin. And the fandom should realize this and not so readily take his reprimand of Armin as facts. Armin has not changed. … but I know I’m seen as biased in Armin’s favor, just like that post you read sounds to be biased against him. And since I have no time, I’d encourage you to seek out @momtaku; she’s given good, believable, objective analysis of Armin before and I trust her to treat him fairly. She writes metas a lot more than I do these days, so - though with fear of sending too much work her way - I’d suggest you ask her what she makes of the scene. Either way, that’s enough of my rambling. I hope that no matter what, anon, you are able to de-stress somehow. SNK makes me worry a whole lot too, but Armin stepping away from his greatest strength (good judgement) at the last hour, is not one of those worries.  

(PS: I didn’t read that post you talked about, I don’t have the time, but if there is a fair point in it that I don’t cover, feel free to ask me about that part specifically. Also, had I read it, I would have sourced it and tagged the author so that there is no shade). 

[modesty-blaise]

Since I'm curious, what caused you to become very possessive of your gifs? Not out of rudeness but curious, since no matter what you do a lot of them show up in the gif function on Tumblr which automatically credits you at the bottom of the gif.

Hey. Tbh, at first I didn’t wanna bother with yet another anon but since I see no ill intent behind this, I decided to go and answer it. Unfortunately, half-way through I realised my reply is turning into incredibly long semi-bitter rant and expands well beyond calling out just one person in Psychonauts fandom (and yes, this is related to Psychonauts fandom – you do know that these anons are not really that anonymous, right?) so… buckle up! All that beneath “read more”.

I’ve been on this hellsite for like…7-8 years? Maybe more? Can’t really tell cause I moved blogs and my old blog now consists of only 4 posts I’ve made close to leaving so I honestly have no idea how much time I’ve spend here before moving. Anyway, during those few years I’ve spent on my first blog I’ve met a lot of creative gifmakers who enjoyed sharing their love for fandoms they were in. I’d like to point out that this was waaaaay before tumblr created that insert-gif option so, back in the day, the only way to add gifs to your post was to: 1. make them yourself 2. take them from someone else. And a lot of people were taking them from someone else which resulted in many gifmakers giving up on making gifs and leaving fandoms and/or even leaving tumblr – and I’ve had many of my friends give up on what they love and have their games/shows/movies/whatnot ruined for them cause people would not stop stealing from them. And many of my friends eventually left tumblr cause they couldn’t deal with it anymore.

Tumblr adding insert-gif option, in my opinion, honestly, just made it worse for gifmakers. Cause now people had the opportunity to use gifs for their posts, with or without creators’ permission/knowledge, but it was alright and it was perfectly fine cause creators were credited. There’s their name at the bottom. It’s alright. Like… it doesn’t matter if they’re actually okay with people using something they’ve put hours into making or if they’re not – tumblr gives them credit so they SHOULD be okay with it. Simple as that.

Well, we’re all different and some people are not okay with that. I’m not okay with that. It took me weeks to figure out how to use photoshop correctly. Took me countless hours of looking through different tutorials and basically trial-and-error-ing my way through the process. Whenever I make gifs, it takes me hours to record videos and then hours trying to achieve that 3mb limit on gifs (thank lord these days we’re beyond 1mb limit). After all that effort I put into creating gifs for games that I love and enjoy, someone is going to make 2 clicks and have that same gif added to their post, without even asking. So how is that okay?

Back to your question. Yes, “no matter what you do a lot of them show up in the gif function on Tumblr”, that is true and that is something I was aware of when I saw you-know-who announcing they would be starting 30 days Psychonauts challenge. So, hating to see my gifs used against my will, and not wanting to start any unnecessary drama and threaten people in advance with reporting them if they do use them, I’ve made my blog as private as I could. It was only accessible through the dashboard, it was not showing in ANY search engines inside and outside tumblr, and my gifs were impossible to find through insert-gif function – I’ve made sure. I did all that cause I just knew that during those 30 days, someone would use my gifs and I would get mad and I desperately wanted to avoid that (hence going extreme). And you know what happened? You know what creator of this challenge (who prevously already reposted my gifs) did? *drums* They used my shit anyway. :3 They just uploaded it from their computer, where they’ve saved it earlier.

And like… a lot of people see pretty pic and decide to save it - I mean, we all do that. Heck, even I have a folder full of shit I saw online and liked it – but i’m not uploading it online cause I haven’t made it. It’s not mine to share.

But some people are not like that.

Some people see fanart of something they like and they want to share their opinion on it – and instead of making their own post, maybe drawing the fanart themselves, they decide to use someone else’s art for their post. Do they know who made it? Do they have creator’s permission to share it? If the answer is NO, then they should be a decent human being and not do that to creators. Oh, they shared it anyway but now people in fandom are calling them out BUT this actually happened on accident? They know who the creator is but, somehow, they accidentally forgot to credit them? OK, well, it’s possible, shit happens, but they better make sure it doesn’t happen again.

Then sometime later these same people decide they want to make a post appreciating their fav character and they want to include pics cause duh, you can’t have character appreciation post without pics, right? Now they have several options: they can get their own screenshots, make their own gifs, maybe draw something… or they can just take someone else’s creation. Do they know who made it? Well there’s my fuckin name on it, and since they’ve stretched it from 245 to 500px, it’s really hard to miss, plus it’s not like there are that many people making Psychonauts gifs. Do they have permission to share it? Hmmm, nope, didn’t ask me. Is this also an accident? Could be. I mean, I’ve seen stranger things happen, so accidentally forgetting to credit content creators twice… kinda suspicious but still possible. Who am I to say?

Now if these people then decide to make a post appreciating their fav ship and they want to add a cute pic of the loving couple – yup, you guessed it! They can either create something or take something. Again: they know who did? They asked for permission? Got the permission? No?!?! But they posted it anyway?!?! :o Could it really be, that after being called out publicly, after being told that reposting is bad (something that’s very easy to understand), after even having tumblr staff intervene and remove stolen shit from their blog, after all that - could it really still be an accident?

Nah, man.

They just don’t give a shit.

Cause if they did, they’d stop with that crap first time they were called out.

(and if you think Psychonauts fandom is their only fandom and that they’re not doing this crap in other fandoms too - hoooo, boy, do I have some bad news for you! Do you know how many stolen and butchered HP fanart is on their blog? Hobbit stuff? They seem to be one of the most accident-prone users on tumblr. And honestly - it’s a real miracle their blog’s not been terminated.)

Back to what I was talking about - I’m not okay with people using my gifs and I’ve made it very clear. I literally do not give a shit if I’m credited or not, I’ve made it very clear that I don’t want my gifs used without my permission. If you like them and want them on your blog, there’s a fuckin reblog button. It’s sole purpose is to allow you to share other people’s creations. Or shitposts, cause lord knows we all love those.

So that’s why when someone spends hours going through my Psychonauts tag and goes as far as to send me “I love your gifs” anonymous message, but the very next day makes stim moodboard post including one of my gifs, now cut and resized to fit 3x3 format they’re going with, I get mad. And that’s why when someone uses one of my gifs to promote their RP blog, butchering it to fit their aesthetics, and later when confronted going as far as blaming their good friend on it cause god! they’ve had no idea it wasn’t theirs, I get mad. (makes you wonder though: if they friend has such skills, why not making them gifs themselves?)

Like…. I’ve had my gifs stolen plenty of times. I’ve had them stolen for roleplaying, for headers, for imagines, just for notes… I’ve had them stolen by people claiming to run official fan sites (that’s a real wild story but I won’t get into that now)… I’ve seen them on pinterest, weheartit, FB, all those random gif sites… and I’ve seen EVERY. POSSIBLE. EXCUSE. ranging from: “well i found it on google so why should i credit you” “lol dunno who made this but its pretty so im posting it” “ive had it on my computer for years so i don’t remember where i got it from” “i dont know how to make gifs so im using weheartit as a source” “credit to whoever made this” (that’s my fav) to “its just a gif so who gives a shit” (it’s not – it’s hours of creator’s time and lots of love that you’re now shitting on so thanks) and “i have an /illness/ and getting notes makes me feel better so dont u dare blame me for stealing” (I don’t remember exact excuse but it was something along those lines and like… how do you even respond to something that without looking like an asshole?).

And sometimes it really is just an accident. Sometimes people really do forget to credit you and/or ask you for permission. And I’ve had my fair share of those accidents. People in Psychonauts fandom have been using my gifs for various crap but, when approached, they’ve removed it and apologised. And it’s something I really appreciate. (if they actually bother reading this and they recognise themselves: i’m really grateful and thank you for not being an ass)

But you know what I don’t appreciate? People making a call out posts about me, asking about my gifs when they know very well they’re the main reasons why I’m not making those gifs anymore, at the same time failing to address any of the issues I have with them and instead rather explaining to others what happened BUT explaining only the parts that make me look like a villain cause how I even dare be mad about them stealing? How I even dare call them out on it? That is so ridiculous and criminal of me, and it’s so so sooooo bad that they need to call me out. I deserve to be called out by the very same person who’s been stealing my shit.

And their explanation is…well… it’s something.

They were sympathetic and polite? When did this happen? Did I completely missed that part? Please someone fuckin enlighten me with such post/message where they expressed their sympathy and politeness and I’ll apologise right this second.

I told them to “literally fuck off”? Yeah, that did happen, I admit that. Did they bother explaining why I told them to fuck off in the first place? Did they say they were caught stealing from me and had tumblr stuff remove my shit from their blog? Did they get into details of how they demanded the proof of my so very wild and obviously false claims but then when I showed it, they just deleted that “how dare u call me out cause I would never do such thing” post? No, they didn’t and geee, I really wonder why.

Instead, what did they choose to address? Out of all the things I’ve said. Hm? What did they choose? Me telling them to fuck off. Me dropping the F-bomb on them, rudely rejecting their obvious kindness and politeness. Nothing else.

Back to what I was talking about before I got derailed again: no, I’m not mad cause this person used my gifs without crediting me. I mean – I am, but that’s not my main issue with them (and they know it). My main issue is that this is someone who will continuously lie and steal and still deny any of it, even when there’s plenty of proof (and you can always count on me to show up with proof tbh), and then go as far as to publicly ask about my gifs and try to call me out. Like me getting mad that something I’ve put hours of work into, and something I’ve made cause I love the game and I want to share my love and appreciation for it, is now being shared against my will and my knowledge - like me getting mad over something like that is so unreasonable that they need to make an entire post about it while pretending they have absolutely no idea why I’m even mad and why we have issues.

And I have every fucking right to be mad. 3 times is not an accident. 2 times to the same person is not an accident. They know it. But yeah, playing stupid is their defense so it’s not like I expected them to actually address their actions this time either.

And you know what? Just because I swear a lot doesn’t mean I’m wrong. Doesn’t mean there’s no solid ground for my claims. People on tumblr have always been and always will be stealing shit. Sometimes they will credit you, often they will not, and that’s just how it is, doesn’t matter if you’re okay with it or not. But that doesn’t mean I’m just gonna sit quiet and accept someone’s shitty behaviour. Especially when it’s directed at me.

TLDR: giving credit =/= having permission

but my previous posts leading to this ask were not about that

you knew that already

[franeridart]

Hey! So sorry if you already answered this but what application and tablet do you use??

I use Easy Paint Tool SAI and a pretty old wacom intuos tablet! Both questions are answred in my faq, actually~

Anon said:You. You awesome person. You are my new fav artist. 💘💘💘

AW thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:I love your art and the style, it’s all so cute and it might give me a heart attack

He c k let’s hope not! Thank you so so much!!! ;^;

Anon said:hey, can ya do more tokage, pls

Sure, I mean to draw more 1B in the future anyway~

Anon said:nori is soo adorable!! I love your art and seromina so much and seeing them combined makes me mega happy!!! I gotta ask though, how are sero and mina as parents and how do they handle nori’s quirk?

They’re disasters as parents but they try their best and are always having fun - Nori adores them! In their house not a minutes goes by without someone laughing, they’re all super loud and cheerful always~ neither of them has any problem dealing with Nori’s quirk, Sero has spent a whole lifetime learning how to deal with sticky stuff and tape and glue so he knows all the tricks to save clothes and furniture from accidental quirk usage and so on, while Mina’s own quirk makes it easy to counter any glue that might end on her - the main thing actually is that the quirk itself was a surprise! Since Nori looks a lot like Mina, both she and Sero had expected her to have acid like Mina so when she started gluing herself around in places and walking along walls and stuff it was a surprise (they had expected to have to deal with the house being constantly half destroyed by acid though, so glue is nothing compared to that haha)

Anon said:Heyy I saw your twitter account and was wondering if you could link some of those “fics about them boys sharing a bed..“ I’ve been following you for a while now and absolutely love your work (: I hope you don’t mind lol. I need more kiribaku in my life gahaha ❤️ thanks !!

I didn’t really bookmark any and most were old things I had read in the past and spent time rereading lately, but the newest one I read is this one - honestly though at this point 99% of the fics set in the dorms have them sharing a bed, you just need to open ao3 and scroll down less than a page to find stuff lol

Anon said:If you’re not an Adventure Time fan this ask will make no sense to you (so skip it), but when I saw your drawing of Katsuki with a guitar, I immediately thought he was singing some edgy Marceline song, like the teasing-aggressive “I wanna bury you in the ground / I wanna bury you with my sound” (which he actually says at some point I think XD) or the romantic and melancholic “Slow Dance with You” and Eijirou M-E-L-T-S.

Not an AT fan, but the concept is adorable so I’m keeping the ask anyway

Anon said:Do you think you might draw more of your fantasy AU children while you’re playing with you’re new pencil tool? It would be neat if you did! Regardless, I’m grateful for anything you draw!

Yup! Can’t promise when it’ll happen but I love the fantasy AU and I love childhood friends AU, so the chances of me going back on it are pretty high!

Anon said:Are you going to draw Mako and Taiyou again? They are so wonderful.

YAH that’s definitely in the near future plans! Thank you for liking them!!

Anon said:I just…I love all your art. It’s so amazing you’re awesome

THANK YOU SO MUCH !!!! ;^;

Anon said:Stavo scorrendo il tuo blog e ho notato che hai risposto ad una domanda in italiano? Ho seriamente pensato fossi inglese tutto questo tempo! Amo seriamente i tuoi disegni, i tuoi oc sono meravigliosi e non vedo l'ora di scoprire più di loro.

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH grazie infinite omfg ;^; specialmente per i miei oc, è sempre incredibile per me sapere che alla gente piacciono abbastanza da volerli vedere di più ;^;

Anon said:Hewwo! I’m a huge fan of your artwork!! I was wondering if you have any time could you draw some more of those dorm room scenarios?

Anon I’m sorry but I need you to be more specific, which dorm room scenarios are you talking about? Most of my comics at this point are set in the dorms hahaha

Anon said:I just noticed that on every artwork you sign “do not repost” and I hate it.I don’t hate that you do it, but the fact you NEED to do it. Artists all over the Internet say to not repost their art but people still do it…I hope this will stop someday Sorry for my english btw

Yeah well, I guess as long as people keep on following and giving notes to reposters that’s not really gonna change is it orz

Anon said:You should draw Present Mic x Aizawa *awkward finger guns*

Hell I really should, shouldn’t I

Anon said:my god im gay for your kiribaku like they’re so good aibdjsbsknwnx and i love the interactions between the bakusquad ahh keep being awesome :)

HECK THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!

Anon said:Honestly, this might be an odd question I don’t know, but would you ever consider putting your art together in a art book to sell? Cause to be honest, there’s not a piece by you that I don’t adore and I’ve seen some artist do things like that before so I didn’t know if that was something you’d consider. Maybe like all your BNHA pieces or something?

It’s not like I never considered it? It’s more like I dunno how worth all the work to figure out how to make it/where to print it and then to actually make it would be compared to the interest people would have in buying something they can have for free on my blog? It’s just doodles after all haha

Anon said:Would you be willing to draw a little lavi (dgm) doodle for me? Anything tiny, I just love him and your art!!!

I’m not doing requests right now, sorry, but soon enough the new chapter is coming out so I might draw him around then!!! I always fall in a serious dgm mood around the time of the chapter release haha

Anon said:More abuse of the ask function: 1- I love your art and have been for months. On top of that, it often feels cathartic, which is amazing to me. 2- I love how balanced you can make KiriBaku. You even manage to make me appreciate that overrated attention hogger that is Bakugou, you can handle him so much better than the author, because your character dynamics make so much more sense!! 3- I always, ALWAYS find myself reading through all your tags. They’re awesome. Thank you for everything.//Avevo finito lo spazio nell'ask precedente, so I’d only like to add that aside from cutie-smoochy (“It’s not about whether you break” and “I don’t need you” might be my favorite, and for what’s worth, I remember writing something exactly like the latter in the past), you also make mu burst into laughter. Like, the comic where Katsuki is about to out Eijirou on his red hair, I am still rolling. Kiri’s giant mouth is seriously hysterical XD

Thank you for the compliments!! I’m glad I can make you like a character and a relationship you’re not much of a fan of in the actual manga? ? ? Bakugou’s actually one of my favorite characters ever though so………. maybe……….don’t offend him and the way Horikoshi writes him while talking to me………….orz

Anon said:I am starved for Bakukamikiri stuff in this fandom……..But you got some good shit.

I’m!!! happy to be able to help there!!!! haha

Anon said:They mama Mitsuki art you drew 👏💯💖☺️💕👌 I love your art so much

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Yessssss you have Twitter! It is boring at the beginning but then you’ll love it! I can’t wait to see you here and there! Now all my Bakushima favorite artist have one I can die of happiness!!

I’m!!!!!!!!!! Still trying to figure it out but!!!!!!!! For now it’s not that bad? Just!!! Very different from tumblr so I’ll need to get used to it first!!!!

Anon said:Omg do u shade jirous hair like its a heartbeat line? Dhdisbdisb thats so fuckibg good

THANK she actually has it in canon too, tho, so I can’t take credit for this!!!

Anon said:Im crying on how you draw kirishima’s soft hair

S O B I’m glad you like it!! ;^;

Anon said:Can I ask what your stance is on bakugo’s mom being abusive and sorry if you’ve answered this before

I love Mitsuki with my whole heart and while I don’t think she’s perfect I do think she’s loving and caring and trying her best and always looking out for what’s best for Bakugou 👍 no abuse anywhere, for me

Anon said:OMG I LOVE SEROMINA LOVE CHILD NORI

Thank you for liking her???? heck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:I wish I could use your art for my phone’s background ;^; You’re amazing! I love youuuuuuuuuu

No one’s stopping you from doing that, anon!!! Unless you don’t have a phone that allows you backgrounds, in which case ;-; thank you for liking my stuff that much tho!!

Anon said:Hey! I followed you way back when your main output was haikyuu!! comics and once you started putting out more bnha, i had to unf because i had no idea who everyone was rip. but now that ive finally had the chance to watch it i’m glad to come back and see how much you’ve improved!

HECK THANK YOU???? I’m glad you decided to come back????? oh man that’s super flattering !!!

Anon said:Yolo bakusquad bakubowl ?

I don’t really like the whole concept of [character]bowl, sorry!

Anon said:I absolutely adore your art style😍 every time I see your art it makes me happy:)

THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Can you draw Hawks and Tokoyami together? You are rlly creative and amazing! So I believe you will produce sth. awesome!!!! (If you don’t want to draw Hawks, could you draw a Tokoyami fusion?)

I can draw that! I’m just waiting to know how tall Hawks is compared to him before doing that 👍 be patient pls relative heights are something I’m stupidly fussy about 

Anon said:Burn the whole world to ashes for you? R U serius?! You always killing me dude. I ascended to the heaven of soft things. I N C R E D I B L E. Im sorry for the break down, i was without tumblr 2 months and the firts thing i do is go to your profile. Keep doing this plis im trully love it 😭💖

mAN I’m so glad you liked that one this much, drawing the boys being unreasonably soft with each other is my fav thing to do tbh !!!

Anon said:Omg I can totally imagine Nori and bakushima’s daughter being friends!!!

THEY ARE !!!!!!!

Anon said:Your seromina is amazing!!! I love that ship I feel like it is so underrated! Thank you for this blessed image!! 😭

No prob!! thank you for liking it!!!!!!! I’ve been in such a seromina mood lately, I might actually draw more soon enough!!

Anon said:Omg imagine a Tetsuwase love child. Something tells me they’d be adorable and one rather angry child, considering who their fathers are

I can see them as being quiet and grumpy………. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Anon said:Hey just wanted to tell you I love your art. It’s so soft and beautiful. My dad doesn’t ship any characters from the series, but he does like the series and he thinks your art and style are really pleasing. We were talking about how nicely you shade and that the style is well developed and lovely to look at. Thanks for making such great art that makes me smile and giving me and my dad yet another thing to bond over.

YO THAT’S SUCH A COOL THING TO HEAR!!!! Thank you to both you and your dad for liking my stuff????? h e c k !!!!!

Anon said:Thanks to you I started reading haikyuu.

I hope you’re enjoying it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!