#lol i kind of want a cover now
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just had a nightmare that lin manuel miranda did a cover of bed chem by sabrina carpenter šš I can literally hear it echoing in my mind
#where art thou why not uponth me (HEY)#sabrina carpenter#bed chem#lin manuel miranda#lol i kind of want a cover now
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Immediately forgets everything that happened in June. Uh. I threw a tea party! Finished a knit hat! Did one (1) queer corvid piece! Started playing baldurs gate! Read some good books! SAW SOME SANDHILL CRANES!!!! Found new enrichment in the form of a new walking route! A busy busy month! Didn't read as much as I intended, but I did get to check off five more books on my Reading Books I Own chart so I call that a win.
The Adventures of Amina Al-Sirafi by Shannon Chakranorty āāāāā- WHAT A FUN BOOK! "Adventure" is the perfect word for this. Yes, it's a trilogy with only one book out, but this also works so well on its own, as individual books SHOULD! It's its own little thing. Wrapped up neat and tidy with little threads to pick up in the future. I had so much fun and the audiobook was a DELIGHT, I want to read it again immediately.
The Novice by Taran Matharu ā- This has been sitting on my shelf since its release. It moved homes with me. It will not be doing so again. Bland, generic, poorly written. Proof just because you were an internet success, doesn't mean you don't need an editor. Also proof that publishing is about Luck and Connections. I know goodreads ratings mean Nothing, but come on. Why is this one so high. Did people really enjoy it that much? HOW??
Translation State by Ann Leckie āāāā- Okay. Look. This was not my favorite Leckie novel. In fact it very well could by me least favorite Leckie novel. HOWEVER. Even then, it was still fun and enjoyable. I wish it ended differently, but I still loved all the characters and how they interact. I do want to reread this as well, because I remember enjoying Ancillary Justice more the second time around and I wonder if the same will happen here.
What Moves The Dead by T Kingfisher āāāāā - A reread! To get ready for What Feasts At Night! Even knowing all the secrets, it's still a perfectly bite sized creepy read. My favorite thing about Kingfishers writing is how even with the darkest subjects she still manages to add humor. And it never seems out of place! It's a great breather for the reader but doesn't detract from the tension. Do not recommend reading this while walking through a field of bunnies.
What Feasts At Night by T Kingfisher āāāā - I gave What Moves The Dead four stars at my initial read through, so I wonder if this will ALSO change to five stars upon rereading. I had to read the first few chapters twice for them to stick, and ended up switching to the audiobook which was very well done. I really didn't expect another book about Alex Easton, but I'm hooked now to be honest. I mean, stop putting this soldier in Situations, but also. I want to know what other Situations ka gets into. Angus and Miss Potter are adorable.
The library has a few summer reading games with prizes so my reading in the upcoming months will be influenced by those. Someone said there might even be a local bookstore gift package in the mix and I Want That. I do still want to do the Bone Season updated read, if for no other reason than to get rid of those books so I don't have to pack and move them. Other than that, no reading plans. I've read nearly every book that's on the shelf in my bedroom, which, wow, so it's getting harder to choose what to read. I guess that's a good thing! Leaves more room to reread old favorites.
#bookbird babbles#reading wrap up#monthly wrap up#june wrap up#books#booklr#i dont want to get rid of the bone season books bc theyre the og hardbacks with the GOOD covers#but honestly. i like the anniversary editions so much better#those white covers though......oof lmao#but like. if the book is Bad then who cares lmao#i could probably sell them tbh#i know theyre in high demand in the fandom#or were five years ago#i think the fandom has kind of given up bc it takes so long for each book to come out#and i mean. authors dont owe us anything and all that but.#girl.#ten years since book one released and youre not even halfway through your seven book series#....maybe you are#four books are out?#STILL YOU GET MY POINT#grrm behavior and that is NOT a compliment#anyway. it was an okay month#neighbors suck my health sucks the weather sucks#but the tea party fucked we killed that one#oh also i gave myself a terrible haircut the other night#chop chop!!!!!#my moms like why dont you just go to a professional and i said because im not paying 30$ for them to cut off two inches LMAO#stylists work hard but im broke thanks#ill suffer an uneven haircut for a while if it means i can do other things like buy a silly little boba#id like to dye it soon too and now that all the old blond is gone i should be safe lol
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Upcoming Ballad changes š?
#loz au#wip#Ballad (Kheprriverse)#they/he#thinking about his design a lot more >> just how some things came to be#as I change FD I also change Ballad since theyre kinda linked (lol)#the white in their hair also changed a bit. more prominent + starts on left side of their usual part#but him in his main casual outfit + the green half-tunic is now just a cloth#switched his belt coz thats been bothering the fuck outta me#also changing his biggoron sword because that fucker cant have a single consistent design#yknow after all the trouble i went through making its oh ref twice#scarred eye is now his left (heās left handed) + starts where the eye is for uh. lore.#also he doesnt close his eye often anymore. tho i may give him some sorta patch to cover itā¦ not sure yet. probably wont#iāll get to his armor eventually. that ones gotta take a lot of thinking.#balladās kind of the main character so I do wanna get their design how i want#theyāre justa dad who wants to get everything done with so they can go back to their wife and son#*dont worry about the weird coloration in one spot. i use an auto action to auto-color my line art before i go in manually*#Kheprriart
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Okay but I really like the idea of Sophie, Michael and Howell being roommates in 1980's college just for fun and giggles.
Michael, being a typical young student, survives on instant noodles and oatmeal he keeps in his nightstand instead of the table, stacking books on a blanket and trying to get along with Howell in five square meters. Overall he just a sweet boy who tries his best to study while Howell plays music from a tape recorder on the max volume at 1AM.
Howell Jenkins collects dust, random tests and papers, magazines, posters, a couple of dozen deflated rugby balls and old cassettes under his bed. A small family of spiders lives peacefully above his bed, who look like they've been here for 10 years already. He also locks himself in the bathroom for at least two hours every evening and every morning, and Michael fights for HIS LIFE to find a moment when the shower is free.
Sophie Hatter, on the other hand just...lives with them. Seriously, one day she barges into their room completely unannounced and starts cleaning Howl's part of the room, telling them that "she lives there now." She was not worried about the lack of extra space, nor other small points related to the fact that she simply invaded their private property. None of them kicked her out anyway, allowing her to terrorize their ten square meters. And, partly, not without scandal, spiders and Howl's fashionable clothes.
#the ages might be change there cause Michael can go to college at 16 or 17 but at 15 indeed#Howl might be around twenty If he dared slipout of his own graduation several times/hj#(but he also HAS to have a PhD of some kind. probably still spells lol)#they're just leaving there in the whole haos#Sophie probably moved to Whales fromEngland#for example#cause Fanny found better place and opportunity for her hat shop here#three of them go to college in Whales now(cause both Martha in Michael may be a year or two older there I just want Hatter sisters stuff)#except Fanny just tells Sophie to sit and says that she could afford a place in dormitory forLettie and Martha#there's nothing to lose how#that's how she finds this two dumbasses#(okay one dumbass who's also her future husband)#(no one knows she lives with them cause they're keeping covering her up)#hmc book#howls moving castle#howl's moving castle book#howell jenkins#sophie hatter#michael fisher
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Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!
You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!
You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!
You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!
Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!
Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!
So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.
Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!
You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.
Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!
Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.
Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.
Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*
Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...
Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.
Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.
Better not get confident.
Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)
Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people
- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties
- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations
- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you
- you might start loving the effect you have on a room
- you might enjoy conversations more
- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently
- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations
- you might stop apologizing so much.
- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.
Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!
Why, it would be carnage!!
In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!
If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:
- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.
- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.
- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.
- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.
You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.
So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.
#social skills#i have a few posts now in my ' social skills' tag#original#maybe eventually I will compile them and polish them in some meaningful way. I know what I want to call the book title#in big text it'll say 'I'M AUTISTIC' and then beneath that in smaller text 'And I Have Better Social Skills Than You'#or something to that effect. and the cover of the book will be me making an exaggerated smug face like the little rascal I am#challenging the viewer to pick up the book and see if they can prove me wrong.#and then the entire first section of the book is about how actually the issue with our society's social skills is the harsh judgment#for people who have trouble communicating and not the other way around. I don't actually think I'm the#most charismatic person in the world by a very long shot. but i do know that I have put more thought into my social skills than#most allistic people and frankly i have surpassed most of them. not because i am more persuasive or smooth or funny#(tho i am persuasive and funny lol) but bc i have questioned which social functions are more restriction than utility.#and instead i have focused my energy on actively learning how to make people feel safe. i feel social rules would benefit all people by#being a little more autistic tyvm. i don't think every person should dedicate themselves to being better at communicating#i think people should dedicate themselves to being kind and patient to everyone regardless of their ability to communicate#I think our society wrongly links communication ability to intelligence and intelligence to level of humanity.#when in fact all three of those things are fucking unrelated and connecting them inevitably leads to#really fucked up views on disabled people that hurt us. and then with that aspect of the book firmly understood and established I would#go on to recommend some ways to make socializing easier and more fulfilling (and less shameful and terrifying) for all kinds of people#it wouldn't be a book about Leaning In To Succeed in Business or 'here's how to avoid being the awkward loner at a party'#it'd be a book about how if you see someone alone at a party here's how to invite them to join your group without pressuring them#stuff like 'hot tip! if someone takes a while to type or speak a full sentence - talking over them b4 they can finish makes u an asshole!'#I know that a lot of people cannot or don't want to dump a lot of skill points into socializing like i did and they shouldn't have to in#order to experience basic dignity and respect. if we treat people like that then we just validate that people - especially#autistic children and elders and disabled people of manu varieties - have to suffer unless they learn all these arbitrary bullshit rules#and a lot of them are arbitrary bullshit! one of the reasons I throw people off so much is because I harmlessly break a lot of social rules#but I know I'm doing it and I'm not ashamed and people just don't know what to do with that! but a lot of them like it actually!!#i think it's a relief to be around someone so openly and unrelentingly weird bc what am I gonna do? judge you for being weird??#I only care if you're kind. not necessarily 'nice' or passive. Kind. Brave enough to care about people being treated well. Kind.#also I recognize that at least some of my ability to be openly weird is white privilege so that's important to acknowledge too
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Lineup of all of the characters that appear long enough to need a visual representation of them in the game lol
#I added a few people that you can randomly run into around town (like at the inn or in the forest or etc) and have very short conversations#with just to kind of flesh out the world a little more in a more natural-ish seeming way. Like nobody in the main cast would really#have much reason to talk about the actual city you're in or anything. Since most of them havent lived there that long anyway.#But if there's a ''city inspector'' that you can run into whilst he's writing up notes examining the local inn. then maybe there could be a#few dialogue options with him where you can ask about things like that. since he would know more about the area as an offical Government#Worker or etc. Optional of course. since I have to be so wary of my natural inclination to lore dump lol and am trying extra hard to make i#all stuff thats easily avoided/skipped. But for the people like ME who deliberately choose to exhaust every possible optional dialogue#option and explore every single inch of the world and try to collect as much information as possible - then there are a few extra places to#do that. Though obviously not all of them just give exposition for like 15 paragraphs blandly. Some you don't really learn anything from#and it's kind of just.. random flavor to make the non-shop map locations more ''lived in'' feeling. Like the random#little girl you can talk to in the park doesn't bizarrely start reading out the wikipedia description of some War that happened 10 years ag#or whatever. she's just complains about school a little and asks if you've tried the nearby ice cream cart treats and etc lol#ANYWAY..#some of the art is so so evil but I'm not going to spend 800 years trying to clean it up and update it. whatever the hell mess I sketched#out in 2018 or whatever is just what I'm keeping lol... it is what it is#One of the many trials of the whole 'briefly work a few months on something and then abandon it almost entirely only to pick up work#on it literally like 4 - 5 yrs later and now you must contend with trying to decipher whatever weird shit you did years ago' experience lol#Also given the population breakdowns of the world in general I think there's an unrealistic amount of jhevona in this lineup since#they're a much rarer species to just see out and about anywhere but.. it IS a global trading center type area. and the game#takes place in the north (the country of Asen. near the coast. for the maybe 2 or less people who actually keep up with my worldbuilding#enough to know where that is lol (the same continent as Navyete (where the avirre'thel live)) and there's a decent concentration#of nothern jhevona only a short ways away so... tee hee..I shall pretend it makes sense and not merely me just wanting#to represent more of that species because I think their lore is interesting lol#I MEAN also realistically there would NOT be a human here because humans are extremely isolated species that don't even know the rest#of the world exists really and human territories are extremely protected from the outside world but... of course it's like.. well we need#at least One of them to be there for the Optional Lore. Same with the Ythrili. But at least those are like.. PLAUSIBLE.. not nonsensically#outlandish. If I had a Verrucalt or something in there THEN that would be truly lore-breaking almost lol#ANYWAY.. rambling that only means anything to me because nobody else knows what I'm even referencing but hbjh#also I think my character designs are so funny in the sense that I really do just love to do the same thing over and over again ghbjh#wow... random asymmetry and belts and arm straps and high collars where the neck is completely covered?? you dont say..how novel
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i feel like iāve been WAITING for the other shoe to drop wrt peopleās opinions about watcher for this very reason. not that i think the reaction is completely not understandable but the greater the parasocial relationship, the greater the fallout as soon as public opinion shifts. you donāt have a relationship with these people theyāre just content creators, chill
#ready to see all the people coming out of the woodwork to say how theyāve never liked watcher/unsolved/etc#and act like itās ācringeā now that their fanbase feels ābetrayedā#itās great to have a fanbase but parasocial relationships will bite you in the ass every single time#itās interesting too though because iāve seen watcher have a LOT of support as theyāve tried to build something separate from buzzfeed#so this is the first time theyāre getting real pushback about a decision theyāve made wrt shifting their platform/expanding their brand#so ig weāll have to see how they react moving forward#but itās soooo interesting to see how enthusiastically people dump on buzzfeed#AND how many people dump on youtube and how over the years so much of its functionality has been stripped away#how many ads you have to sit through. how much sponsored content there is now. etc#but when they try to do the same thing with youtube that they did with buzzfeed itās like how dare you not lick their boots#because if you lick their boots and we lick their boots we can watch stuff for free#anyway.#even if you donāt any to say itās a bad business decision. itās not like thereās not precedent for it#1) the move away from buzzfeed was successful and 2) what about the dnd shows or whatever#donāt you guys watch those dnd shows that are ābehind a paywallā#donāt you guys have netflix hulu disney hbo amazon etc ad nauseum that are actually owned by billion dollar corporations#donāt you guys get on your high horses about supporting independent artists all the time#itās interesting that people will profess to be such big fans!!! and feel like theyāre friends!!!!#but how dare they think their work might be worth paying for#idk. idk. itās entitlement though#sorry for the rant iām ALSO not trying to blindly defend a bunch of people i donāt know#but you guys are being soooo fucking annoying about it lol#anyway iām still waiting to see what their response is going to be from here before jumping to conclusions#also to be fair i am biased to be lenient about decisions made by independent filmmakers vs big studios etc#like everybody freaking out about the ai art used in late night with the devil. who cares honestly#āthey shouldāve paid a real artist!!ā idk maybe their budget didnāt cover that#i donāt want it to become the industry norm but at the end of the day i would rather see indie shit getting made then only seeing#the big studios (who donāt have equitable practices anyway!!) making shit#but thatās another conversation. just to be transparent about my viewpoint on this kind of thing#maybe controversial but also canāt we have nuance. for once.
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Dont be angry, Finnula said. Be smart.
#Chapter 23#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Elide Lochan#Finnula#no spoilers pls first read along w me chapter spoilers in post & tags below w more annotations/quotes/notes/reacts/perspective 3 of 4#The City of Riversā¦ can Aelin get a City of Fire? cuz that would be cool & Elide already said āfear was another companion it canāt be worse#IT WAS LORCANS SHIRTš & he cared so much he lied so sheād use it from Gavriel/Rowanš OH ELORCANššš#Yet this place seemed like a paradise. WHATS REAL? is it a Maeve illusionā¦ but it sounds lovely; like Rowan could just fly aroundš#Pink and blue flowers draped from windowsills; little canals wended between some of the streets ferrying people in bright long boats.#And though a good dose of fear would aid in her cover too much would spell her doom. -smart clever spy gal Annabeth Chase would be proud#And this city Rowan had told Elide had been built from stone to keep Brannon or any of his descendants from razing it to the ground.#when u know ur evil cuz you had to build in a backup plan for the day Brannons peeps eventually come to shut that shit downā¦ my poor Aelin#Elide fought the limp that grew with each step farther into the city--farther away from Gavriel's magicā¦ or Lorcanāsššš¤š¤Ø#okay Elide I see your mirror mirror Aos moves with the berry listen and compact trick she can do it with a broken heart#cycle. She hadn't been able to find the words anyway. Not with what it would crumple in her chest to even think them. WELL NOW IM CRUMPLED#As if she'd been weeping for weeksā¦ yeah that fits the KoA vibes#But it wasn't the reflection she wanted to see. But rather the square behind her. ā BRILLIANT QUEEN ā lol thx Lorcan for having a mirror#if only anything could be a witch mirror then they could all cell chat and communicate cause the travel time in this one is rough#she was merely staring into a compact mirror no more than a self-conscious girl trying to fix her frazzled appearance ā she is the best spy#A girl trying to muster some dignity. Let them see what they wanted to see-A girl far out of her element in this lovely well-dressed city#cornflower blue ALWAYS THESE SHADES#her golden-brown skin shone with an inner light. Her eyes were soft with kindness. And concern.#had always made them foolishly off guard and eager to get away. To tell her what she needed to know. ā funny 2 watch Elide do this after HoF#The sort of voice Elide had always imagined great beauties possessing the sort of voice that made men fall all over themselves.#Cairn. One of the males swore; the other scanned Elide from head to toe. But the two females had gone still. ā agreed heās the worst#the portrait of hopeāyeah childās right cause noāElide always naming peāopleāIf you escaped Cairn don't go looking for him again.ātrue#Cairn is blood-sworn to our queen. Still makes him a prick TRUTH ā doesnāt need to be a far to catch the lie ā WHERE IS SHE DAMNIT#She was about to do it again wheenā¦ The dark-haired beauty from the tavern was standing behind her. ā SHIT#Maeve was not in Doranelle. How long would that remain true? Had to make the next performance count. ā how many had she done this already?š„¹š
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romancing astarion with sorrow, who by level 12 had 22 charisma and +14 to insight, was very funny.
him, 10 cha and +1 to insight: i am a master manipulator
her: yes dear
#zanarai *is* sorrow as a dark urge#but i couldn't justify keeping her a bard to myself (so she can't put expertise in insight)#murder jesus kills people by. singing at them? that felt too silly#now i don't think so anymore but at this point zan is so developed as a sorcerer that i can't bear to change her#idk maybe i'll change my mind again#she speaks#zanarai#.sorrow#arctic plays bg3#maybe she can be a three-way multiclass sorcerer/wizard/bard lol#to get expertise she'd need 3 levels of bard#that leaves 9 levels of sorcerer over the level span covered by the game but let's say 8 so she can take 1 level wizard#and post-game she levels wizard for however far she gets as she and astarion search for a way for him to be in the sun#this would be a disaster build wouldn't it#kind of want to try it though#hold on going to set it up on paper let's see what fucking happens
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holy FUCK IA's voisona 2.0 is OUT
#sorry this is just a 3 second made solfege with all auto tuning i just got the update downloaded LOL#am i insane. was i just not paying enough attention to their twitters or was this like shadow dropped#i mean we knew it would come someday but i think i forgot that like#voisona seems to do this with their 2.0s. they barely build any hype they just give em to you LOL#girl so much is happening rn. ia and one 2.0..... takuto's voicevox bank was finally announced.......#i have so many things i want to draw celebration doodles of. so many.#also this is unrelated but downloaded ia's 2.0 made me realize i was like three or so versions behind in voisona#because i like never update things in general and also i didnt realize they had updated so much#BUT holy shit. they added so much stuff so many presets and fun little bits BUT SPECIFICALLY#the tune parameter... that changes how much autopitch it has.... holy shit#now you can make a full pitchsnapping thing.... or you can have a blank slate when doing ur own tuning.... awesome#the husky parametre is still a little strange tho. its uh. so in cevio its basically just breathiness#but in voisona is like. tense and kinda. wet? you can get a but of subtle breathiness but mostly it just sounds like theyre hissing#like a cat. which can be good. but i abuse breathiness and tension in other software so i would love some parametres akin to that#although you can get some of that through the presets in the properties at least#so i would love some easier ways to play around with softness and breathiness. you can kind of fudge it with volume but its tough#but impromptu voisona editor 1.11 first impressions review aside im so excited#i neeeeeed to plug in as many covers as i can right NOW just to hear her voice AUUUUUUUHHHHHHH#unfollow me now this will be the only thing i talk about for the next week etc etc#edit: like immediately after I posted this i went back on twitter to double check something and then saw the new#cfm news. jesus christ today has been crazy for vocal synths truly
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redesign :D
#art#my art#artists on tumblr#digital art#oc#pink space#RIP the ponytail lol#though when i first drew her i hadn't liked it very much and was like 'that'll prolly be temporary' And Then I Didn't Change It For Like A#Year Lmao#so this was bound to happen#+ it was cuz i didn't know what to do for her head's silhouette but i've figured that out so now i hardly draw the ponytail loll#//next will be either Kira or Hid's ref!! depending on which one my brain can get the least undefined about hfvhs#//also i kinda really love how her redesign turned out hfhhd#i could never figure out how i wanted her to dress because when i was drawing her up i#1) was a little afraid of making her look too [you know gesture] for Reasons lol [<- is so vague for no reason]#and 2) if the clothes were Cool but didn't cover enough it must been Bad. i have no idea where this idea came from lol!! but beGONE#//OH yea and i never explain any of the lore for this story ever but i like to explain and justify decisions a lot so how 'bout that hfhvs#/so in this world a good chunk of society has heat-based powers (no other kind) so emergency responders/enforcers need fire-proof gear#Aura never wears hers right because well. they Feel Bad (cursing her with The Big Coat Is Hell lolll)#there Is a coat to this ensemble. mmm no i will not be drawing it for a while hfsvh#+ the axe is because of the whole The Gods Will Give You A Sick Weapon As A Sign Of Alliance And Protection thing#but honestly if i get talking about the Gods i won't stop for the next 8 paragraphs lol#/i've had this story for a year. there's a lot hsbvfabfj#my brother has listened to me explain the thing like 5 times. because he doesn't remember what i tell him and neither of us can stay on#topic ever Hfhsv#//but yeah gonna spin in circles forever now!! and maybe rub my feet raw on the carpet again tryna learn this dance :3 tooooodles
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there comes a time in every fic writers life when, as they're finishing their story, have to decide which plot holes to plug up and which ones to pretend don't exist
that time is called 'pure unadulterated agony'
#the issue with writing things with plot that are >100k is that my ass introduced some concepts that i either forgot about#or can't really reasonably explain away#theres probably only 3 chapters left in the path to paradise and i want to wrap it up nice and pretty#but i was re-reading some chapters and i'm like: shit. uh. not 100% sure how i'm gonna cover this one hope no one notices it lol#endings are so hard#... i sympathize with horikoshi#but again i can't be a perfectionist about this. its a fic that i'm writing for fun#i have to remember how many glaring plotholes there are in like... published books#and that its impossible to cover absolutely everything#i'm working on chapter 14 right now and its kind of a titular chapter to explain a TON of the plot.#as usual its a tad convoluted and i worry about leaving important factors out#but i just gotta have faith in the process#the process: me obsessively rewriting until i get mad say fuck it and post because then i can't take it back
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ššš
#accidentally slept through my only class today#which whoops sorry. (my 9am english)#which kind of killed step 1 of a plan of mine but thats okay#anyways THEN i had to go downtown to pick up this award bc i forgot to show up to the ceremony like a dumb dumb#but the building was like a 25 minute walk and it was COLD (punishment for my dumb dumbness tbh) but anyways i got there early so i walked#around the block and then went inside and picked up my medal#and i was already far downtown so then i popped my head in a couple of stores as i slowly walked back#got a few things from target. new hair clip nail polish m&ms pens and then a mango. very excited to eat that either later today or tomorrow#then i popped in the calligraphy store and then the comic shop and looked around. saw some white ribbon in the calligraphy store which ive#been looking for but didnt get it because it was a bit wide and kind of expensive and i want a lot for my project idea#(want to write out some of my favorite poems on them in sharpie and then use it to accessorize)#and then i went to the comic shop and peeked around. saw a nubia issue and a few gl 2021s in the discount bin but i didnt get them bc#they were all middle issues and i havent read those books yet although i do want to someday bc my guys were in them. one of the gl 21s even#had simon on the cover so i was very !!!!!!!! thats my guy!!!!!#didnt buy anything there but i did ask the guy to make sure to order a copy of the spirit world tpb so ill stop by to get that in a few wks#and then i went to the bookstore cafe and got a cold brew and did a but of English there. they have tables in the stacks its nice. the one i#grabbed was just surrounded by old paperbacks of sci fi and thrillers lol. didnt see anything id read but recognized a few author names like#card (no enders game though) and the pern lady (idk her name i havent read it). anyways did half a blog post thats technically late (ill#backdate though dw) and then packed up and i grabbed a gyro from the halal cart on that block which i just finished back at my dorm <3333#anyways good times. now im gonna try and spam some work and go to freaking trivia team for the first time in a month later. oops#blah#oh and i think the halal cart guy may have given me a free soda. unsure abt that though bc its possible it came with and i was just being#silly again. so anyways i had a ginger ale too
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Done with the worst parts of sanding :)
#if the remaining bits look uneven. its on purpose. i havent sanded the right yet. i want to kind of sit with him for a bit before shaping#the smaller bits further :)#the color difference is also pretty bad š„ i didn't realize how yellowed the body was until i got to work so... i will have to do SOMETHING#to cover that. or just embrace it idk :) the character is a robot thats used 2 be high tech and is now sort of falling apart so im not super#bothered ig with like... any of the resin color differences bc i can just say its faded from use/storage or whatever do#*so. its all ok :) the only other time ive done something like this is my little top surgery on another doll (he was brand new so had no#yellowing rly) so im like... not super bothered i think :) pretty happy w it being my second big dremel project lol. definitely have a lot#of plans w him so im happy to be feeling well enough to work on him today :)#bjd posting#twist rambles#idr what his name even is... makes me sound like a bad doll owner but when i do remember ill toss these posts in his tag :)
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what about YOU, mod? what's your favorite song on happy pills?
MOTH ā¼ļøā¼ļøā¼ļø
I was hooked pretty immediately when Moth was first posted and it's been one of my insta-favorites since then, especially the Zsasz cover. On disk 2 I like SUSHI-GO-ROUND the best. My ranking goes something like this
I dunno how accurate this actually is because I just threw it together in a few seconds but here you go :)
#I didn't like the original My Roar when it came out because of the girl's vocals which is why it ranks so low#The happypills version is just like. Well. I guess it's at least listenable now#And I was never a huge Kikuo fan so the Aishite cover is just kind of like 'ok cool' as well#As a whole I like all the songs on the album. Some just click with me more than others#inbox#anonymous#I feel like I should put No Care of Life higher but I honestly haven't listened to it very much#I probably should.#I probably also have more thoughts to say but... don't want to ramble lol#Hidden Boss was meh to me at first but it suddenly REALLY grew on me a while back
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I love waking up to a text from the assistant manager telling me someone I worked with yesterday is poorly (with what girl??? Is he contagious?????) and asking if I can pick up a shift today or tomorrow
#i ended up saying i canāt do today becauseā¦ i canāt. who is going to take care of mabel??#i canāt foist a blockheaded terrier on anybody with such short notice. and anyway i donāt want to#iām fully booked up today with dog walks and reading a cosy thriller. itās gonna be the whole day ideally#but i accepted a 9-5 tomorrow šš#itās fine like.. iāll be okay. i just was really looking forward to yāknow. not having to pretend to be a functional human being that day#i kind of hope she finds someone better in between now and her seeing my message. or that sick coworker in question makes a very fast#recovery. i mean i hope that anyway. i like him. but likeā¦#8 hours of pretending to be a person. and then i have to do it again on friday. whyyyyyy#like i donāt think anyone appreciates or realises how much it takes out of you to have to smile and be polite with people who are being#terrible to you sometimes; while youāve been on your feet all day and your body is aching and youāve been doing heavy lifting#and maybe youāve been scalded or burnt at some point or cut your hand and man thereās just so many things that can go wrong at my job#i get covered in something at least once per shift. milk; coffee; soapy water; mixture of the threeā¦..#and iāve just realised i donāt even have enough shit for lunches this week because i assumed iād only be doing 3 shifts#so i ate all my snacks and only left enough stuff for 3 lunches#iām probably just going to buy lunch there tomorrow. whichāll cost me like. nearly an hourās wages. which is why i donāt do it. ššš#fuck it. i can just suck it up and pick out a sandwich and some crisps or something; write my name on them and put them in the fridge#itās just annoying!! like iāll be fine but iām just not mentally prepared for unexpectedly having to work lol#personal
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